#heaviness

[metamorphesque]

though i am heavy, there is flight around me

wendell berry, the fall of icarus, f. scott fitzgerald, christophe vacher, hozier, galileo chini, mahmoud darwish (tr. catherine cobham), rubens, akwaeke emezi, alfred schwarzschild

[aseaofquotes]

Akwaeke Emezi, The Death of Vivek Oji

[ticklingtimetickstotest]

Just wanted to share this song with you.🤍

[serenityquest]

Katie Abey

[1five1two]

[brightlotusmoon]

I told a friend that I wasn't really in much pain, it was just sciatica, and she wrote me a novel about recognizing and identifying levels of pain, and we finally realized that the cerebral palsy probably dulls the fire a little. Bodies are weird.

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[creatingnikki]

things that feel heavy right now

head. don't know if it's the alcohol or the smoking or the sleeping for 16 hours.

heart. is it the having to be performative all the time? with even friends? with even myself? but it's self-preservation, isn't it? a way to cope with this life.

eyes. again, don't know if it's the smoking or crying. or the crying while smoking.

body. yes, I love my body and my tummy is lovely. but it also feels heavy as do my arms and my shoulders. literally and literary.

expectations. my expectations of myself and of others. but is that really something to be changed? my expectations are not without empathy and a whole lot of consideration. for others anyway.

assumptions. the heaviest assumptions are the assumptions I make regarding what others think/feel towards me. so damn heavy.

intergenerational trauma. the burden of having to break it. the burden of having to bear it is so heavy in the first place, how am I to break it?

[mymidwestheart]

It’s time to lay them down. 😌

[embraceyouropacities]

“I Wish I Could Live Through Something” — Caitlin Conlon

after Lady Bird

as in, I wish anything I’ve lived through would finally end. As in, wish I could say what the other side of grief looks like but I’m still wading through the relentless center of it. As in, I’ve removed fistfuls of last words from the back of my stomach and cannot remember any of them, but maybe that’s for the better. Have you ever slept wrong on a terrible memory? Slept worse on good one? I’ll be blunt: my trauma has begun to bore me. This wicked heart is yearning for the power of hindsight.

I just want to look at something and know, without ever having to kiss its face, that I can survive it.

[autumnalrecords]

I must admit that the heaviness I carry in my heart is so deep that the only way that I can be able to express it, is in my dreams as if it touches the reality it doesn’t let me breathe.

[kickdrumheart68]

Such a powerful art piece

[serenityquest]

[di-devil]

Hah, today, yesterday, tomorrow... Rains and slush are promised for the whole week. Autumn, my least favorite time of the year...

[wordsoftheheartandsoul]

You did the best you could with what you knew. I know that if you could go back, you would. I know that you'd handle it all differently. I know that the should haves and could haves took on a life of their own. I know that the memory that comes to mind and breaks your heart has replayed countless times in your head and leaves a heaviness on your heart that's so familiar that it feels like a part of you. Give yourself grace. Extend mercy where you messed up. Cover yourself in love, knowing that you are not perfect and will never be expected to be. No one gets it right all the time. Sometimes, we act out of emotion, make the wrong choice, or make matters worse whenever we are desperately trying to fix them. You are not alone in that space of regret, but it doesn't mean you belong in that space. It's time to put the baggage of those mistakes and decisions down. Time has passed, and you need that weight on your shoulders to go with it. You are worthy, wonderful, and undoubtedly wiser despite what you weathered. You are forgiven. You are free.

Morgan Richard Olivier - One Still Whisper