alienwifeswap

[alienwifeswap]

[alienwifeswap]

[alienwifeswap]

[alienwifeswap]

sorry for suicide baiting you online can i still go to your chuck e. cheese birthday party

[alienwifeswap]

[alienwifeswap]

if you manage to run across this line without falling into any of the adjacent states, they let you pee in the white house whenever you want

[alienwifeswap]

ascending_shark.mp4

[alienwifeswap]

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

[alienwifeswap]

i can’t explain my poetry often

[alienwifeswap]

“This inhuman place makes human monsters.”

[alienwifeswap]

[alienwifeswap]

[alienwifeswap]

[alienwifeswap]

[alienwifeswap]

Figuring out how to use my skills instead of behaviors like:

[alienwifeswap]

@netflix, new idea. you can make a show called “your life” and when i click on it i can watch all the footage that the government has taken of me through my webcam and cellphone. i fucking know. i fucking

[alienwifeswap]

tag yourself ham ham heartbreak verison