#heartstopper episode one meet

[querenciasturniolo]

guest ⮕ m.s.

word count: 1.6k

warnings: swearing, awkward flirting, embarrassment

summary: request

a/n: this was requested by @rainsoakedphoenix, and i had SO much fun writing it (even though it took ages) ! sorry for the mix up, i hope this works 😭💓 i wrote this while watching the new season of heartstopper, which is AMAZING by the way

(this is like 89% dialogue, which i’m sorry if it wasn’t your vision, but i tried my best 🤞🏻)

everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.

“Good morning campers, and welcome to the Cut the Camera podcast. I’m Nick Sturniolo.”

“I’m Matt Sturniolo.”

“And I’m Chris.”

Your eyes flickered between the three of them, reaching your hands up to adjust your headphones. Nick finally turned his head to you.

“We have a special guest for this episode, introduce yourself.” He said.

You looked at one of the cameras and smiled, lifting your hand to wave.

“Hey, I’m Y/n.” You said, wincing slightly. “Jesus, that was awkward, someone else talk now.” Matt pulled a face, you looking over at him and mocking him playfully.

“Like some of you know, Y/n is one of our good friends from home. She hasn’t been in much of our content because she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing, but that’s fine, we love her anyway.” Nick said. You scoffed and leaned back in the diner seat, pulling the mic with you.

“It’s not that I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m just an awkward piece of shit.” You said, shrugging your shoulders. “S’not my fault your fans love watching me suffer.”

“Well that turned dark. Anyway, Y/n, why don’t you introduce the topic.” Chris said. You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Today we’re talking about how the four of us met, and how I’ve continued to endure their torture for so long.” You paused, Matt’s jaw slack as he looked over at you. You grinned and shook your head. “No, I’m kidding. They’re pretty great, I’m glad they’ve tortured me for this long.”

Chris scoffed. “You love us and you know it.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what I said, but if you want to get all mushy already, then yes, I love you guys.” You said.

Nick awed next to you, Matt leaning over and bumping your shoulder with his.

“You’ve always been the lovey-dovey one. Y/n has called me at like six o’clock on a random Tuesday before just to tell me she was thinking about me.” Nick said. You covered your face with your hands and groaned.

“God, why must you expose me? Let them think I’m dark and gloomy.” You grumbled.

Matt scoffed then, the audio coming through your headphones clear enough for you to peek an eye through your fingers. “None of them think you’re dark and gloomy, they’ve seen you in videos before, dude. Accept the fact that you’re a softy.” He teased, your jaw practically hitting the floor.

The conversation went on like this for about twenty minutes, the four of you talking and bickering back and forth. The conversation ran off the tracks quite a few times, and Matt tried reeling it back in as best as possible.

“So, back to the topic at hand—”

“Nick, what did you say?” Chris asked, completely cutting Matt off.

“I was just saying that was bullshit.” Nick said.

“Guys, what are we even—”

“How is what I just said bullshit?” Chris asked, the both of them in their own little world.

Matt sighed and looked at you, shrugging his shoulders. You turned to face him fully, resting your arm on the back of the booth. “So anyway, what’s an average day in the life of Matt Sturniolo?” You asked. Matt frowned and adjusted himself to face you completely.

“What?” He asked, pulling the mic towards him.

“What’s an average day in your life?” You repeated, raising your eyebrows.

Matt’s frown relaxed as he thought, shrugged, and finally spoke. “I’d say; wake up, shower, eat, go to meetings, come home, go to bed, repeat.” He held his hands out to count on his fingers, your eyebrows raising as you listened, no emotion on your face.

“Wow, riveting.”

Matt scoffed and shook his head, opening his hands and gesturing them towards you. “Please, tell me about your extraordinary day to day schedule, I’d love to hear it.”

“Of course you would. I happen to have a day packed full of important tasks.” You said, lifting your chin sarcastically.

“Oh, really? Name one.” He said, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well, I work.” You started, Matt nodding and pursing his lips.

“Oh, you work, do you? And what do you do after that?” He asked, your eyebrows lifting and your jaw going slack.

“Well, if you must know, after work I go home and eat and then shower and go to bed.” You said matter of factly, Matt staring at you completely unamused.

“That has got to be the most boring play-by-play I’ve ever heard.”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, and yours was better, Matt?”

“I think so. What do you do for work?” He asked, the corner of his lips turned up in a half smile.

You sighed and shrugged your shoulders. “Retail. It’s not the most glorious job, but it gets the bills paid.”

“Yikes, customer service.” He winced, to which you shrugged your shoulders again.

“Like I said, not the most glorious job. I deal with a lot of dickheads, but the regulars are nice.” You said, grabbing your cup and taking a sip of it. You jutted your chin at him. “It’s your turn to ask a question, I don’t think they’re gonna stop any time soon.”

Matt hummed and thought for a moment. “Um, what’s your favorite color?”

“That’s really the best you could come up with, Matt?” You said, a laugh leaving your lips as he looked at you in mock offense.

“At least it’s not as mundane as ‘what do you do everyday’, Y/n. Cut me some slack, I’m trying here.” He retorted, your hands going up before you answered.

“It’s blue.”

“Lame.” He said, your eyebrows furrowing.

“Matt, that’s literally your favorite color, too.” You said, Matt scoffing.

“You don’t know me.” He mumbled, a laugh bubbling out of you as you adjusted in your seat, scooting the slightest bit towards him.

“I’ve known you my entire life, you dork. That argument is invalid.” You said.

Matt pursed his lips and shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.”

You rolled your eyes and shook your head, really studying him for the first time in awhile. You reached forward and lightly pinched a lock in your fingers and twirled it. “Your hair is getting long.” You said. There was something in Matt’s eyes that you couldn’t quite place, but the apples of his cheeks were tinged pink.

“Yeah, I need to cut it soon.” He said, his voice quiet.

You nodded your head, letting go of the lock of hair and resting your hand back on the booth centimeters away from his. “If that’s what you want.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he lightly jabbed the tips of your fingers with his.

You paused, realizing how passive it had sounded. You immediately shook your head. “No, oh my God, nothing! It was just an observation.” You said, resting your hand on his.

“So you wouldn’t care if I shaved my head?” He asked, mischief glinting in his eyes. Somehow, your fingers ended up entwined, but both of your palms were resting on the back of the booth. It was comfortable, but new, and you didn’t know exactly how to navigate this. You shrugged your shoulders and pulled your headphones off of your head and rested them around your neck.

“I wouldn’t care, no. Just because I think your hair looks cute long, doesn’t mean I’m going to freak out if you change it.” You said honestly. Matt blinked, processing your words before he replied.

“You think my hair looks cute long?” He asked. You nodded your head, ignoring the burning in your face.

“That is what I just said, yes.” You said, trying to sound like it was no big deal

“Wow, admitting you think I’m cute on recording? That’s crazy.” You could tell he was teasing, and by the color of his cheeks, you could tell he didn’t mind.

You cocked an eyebrow, tilting your head to the side as your smile grew. “Are we just going to ignore the fact that you’ve been practically holding my hand for this entire conversation?”

“I haven’t?” He said, immediately pulling his hand from yours and resting it in his lap, his eyes darting downward. You smiled and shook your head, teasingly gesturing around the room.

“Matt, it’s literally on camera, from multiple angles.” You said, Matt’s eyes meeting yours. He studied your face and eventually smiled and rolled his eyes, the awkward tension he was radiating before slowly dissipating.

“Yeah, okay, whatever.” He mumbled, adjusting his headphones before meeting your eyes again. You opened your mouth to speak, but were quickly interrupted.

“Oh my God, this is honestly disgusting.”

You whipped your head around to Nick, your eyes wide as he met you with an incredulous stare.

“You guys have been flirting like, the entire time. I’m surprised I haven’t thrown up yet.” He finished, your face on fire as your eyes flickered to Chris’ amused smile.

“Honestly, Nick and I stopped arguing like, five minutes ago. We just wanted to see how long it would take the two of you to notice.” You looked back at Matt, who was awkwardly laughing into his hands and shaking his head. “Clearly, way too fucking long. Can we get back to the topic of our joint childhoods now?” Chris finished.

You cleared your throat and nodded, adjusting yourself in the booth so you were facing forward and your shoulder was to Matt.

“Where were we again?” You asked, Nick jumping into the conversation effortlessly.

The rest of the podcast went smoothly, the four of you in almost perfect harmony for the rest of the time, the little embarrassing interruption nearly forgotten.

It was nearly forgotten until Matt’s hand rested over yours under the table and entwined with yours. You felt your face heat up and the corners of your mouth twitch, but you didn’t say anything or make anything obvious.

Matt was your best friend, and as affectionate as the two of you were, hand holding was never on the list until now—and honestly, you didn’t mind.

[fandom]

You look beautiful, honey.

Fans of The Amazing Digital Circus were treated to the third episode, "The Mystery of Mildenhall Manor," last week, and with it, a big ol' Kinger lore drop. DC announced Dynamic Duo, their animated feature about Dick Grayson and Jason Todd. Finally, another origin story! Agatha All Along continues as the coven makes its way down a dark path and meets some...entities...along the way, and Nick and Charlie are back with the Truham-Higgs team in season 3 of Heartstopper, healing the queer kid in all of us—one scene at a time. This is Tumblr's Week in Review.

Gravity Falls

Artists on Tumblr

The Amazing Digital Circus

Halloween

Heartstopper

Stanford Pines | Gravity Falls

Agatha All Along

Stanley Pines | Gravity Falls

Bill Cipher | Gravity Falls

Billford | Bill Cipher & Stanford Pines, Gravity Falls

Jujutsu Kaisen

Deadpool & Wolverine

Ford Pines | Gravity Falls

Free Palestine

Fiddleford McGucket | Gravity Falls

Poolverine | Logan Howlett & Wade Wilson, the Marvel universe

Batman | the DC universe

Cats of Tumblr

Dipper Pines | Gravity Falls

Logan Howlett | the Marvel universe

[shaylogic]

Wishlist for DBDA Season 2:

A proper noir episode that plays off Edwin's fondness for traditional detective stories

Significantly more focus on Niko's character now that the traditional comic trio had season 1 to establish. Exploring her father's afterlife situation, meeting up with her Mom, discovering her own strength and skills (especially if she has supernatural powers after the polar bear figurine)

More of Charles' living backstory and family mystery possibly reflecting the comics

Edwin's living backstory and family, whom we know next to nothing about even in comics

Crystal picking up more tech/hacking skills

Cryland Crystal x Charles relationship dynamics: conflict around her bully side, trauma-bonding and conflict around the different kinds of shitty parents they have (which so far has been something Crystal's been better about with Charles than Edwin has been)

Monty, Jenny, and Cat King all move to London with the squad. Idc how or why. I'll accept any reasoning.

Happy lesbians or other wlws!!! Didn't quite get that in season 1.

More Kashi! What is going on with him? He seems important

An episode where one of the main characters is stuck floating upside down like in the Topsy-Turvey comic, and the others take turns holding their hand like they're a balloon

Squooshing and the Ghost Roads

More worldbuilding of realms (Neitherlands?) and ghost rules/abilities

Crystal resolving buried David of course

Desire of the Endless interaction with the rest of our queer characters (which is basically all of them)

Flashback montage of the silly early cases Edwin & Charles did together in the past that they referenced in season 1

Flashback on how the boys began their Detective Agency: their very first case.

Expand their first meeting in the attic scene to include if they actually spoke to Death, what happened to their bodies, and showing them realizing the school is covering them both up

Return to St. Hilarion's. Put bodies to rest. Burn it to the ground.

Edwin new outfit. Once done with the school visit and flashbacks, he should pick something mature and individual to separate the new him from the death trauma time

Jenny's new role in the agency group now that she's aware and sees ghosts. Bonus points for goth knowledge

Charles crop top for the fans

Charles figuring out his 🤞 bisexuality 🤞 this season much like Edwin worked through his internalized homophobia in season 1. We desperately need meaningfully in depth, genuine, quality bi rep in media and I trust this show with it. (Shout out to Nick Heartstopper though)

Payneland dynamics: still slow-burn figuring out their relationship as friends or more now that the confession is known. By the end of season 2 and Charles bi journey?, relationships start to shift a bit from Cryland to Payneland perhaps... [I love them both honestly]. Just when Edwin is making up his mind to put his crush on Charles aside and start looking for his "adventure of the heart" elsewhere, that's right when Charles starts to get more interested. And we may expect him to get all flirty but he actually gets more nervous and genuine with Edwin.

Monty becomes humanoid again and is learning who he is out on his own. Maybe he gets a job and apartment. Trying to figure out his purpose as an individual instead of familiar.

Cat King has a name, an animated backstory, and a new love interest that sees through his bullshit and keeps him humble

Feel free to add your own wishlist in the reblogs/comments! <3

[chaoortu]

listen i know i yap a lot about nick and neurodiversity in my fics but it's like. every time i reread heartstopper it really jumps out at me and i'll probably reblog this again with more thoughts as i continue my reread but like.

it strikes me as interesting that despite the fact that nick gets called a chav pretty early on by tao, we never actually see nick acting that way on page. i think the show does a good job at showing how nick has sort of chameleoned himself and stuffed his real personality down but the show is a topic for a different post. in the webcomic we see it once when charlie is teasing him about being laddish and nick decides to act that way for a laugh. on one hand, i chalk this up to most of the early webcomic/heartstopper in general being in Charlie's pov. he wouldn't have noticed these things about Nick because they didn't really notice each other until their meet cute, which is realistic. I think it also speaks well to Charlie's character that he takes who Nick is at face value and challenges Tao's opinion of him. but what jumps out at me is that in harry's birthday party we sort of see the first instance of nick's "meaner" side and it's in the context of defending Charlie. Still! The first instance of this really sunshiney character taking quite a big turn!

But notice how the dig isn't personal? These are all observations about Harry that can be deduced in the context of the material before it. That is to say, despite being friends with Harry since he was like 11, Nick keeps it simple. It reminds me a lot of how you correct a dog's behavior in the moment and I can go on for ages about Nick and dogs but again-- that'll be another post. What follows this really intense moment is another really intense moment when he and Charlie are alone and like yeah, they're teenagers, being teenaged is intense enough. But after their kiss, we have this panel and my God is it one of my favs:

I really love how Nick is framed with flowers in this scene because it really feels like it's him blossoming into himself in this moment where it's just him and Charlie. Charlie is shown over and over again to be Nick's safe person in comic and while they are obviously falling in love way before this, I still feel like this is the moment where Nick decides it's safe to love Charlie (I mean duh, they kiss a LOT in this episode), or rather, to hand Charlie his emotions and feel like they won't be fucked with or used against him. And that's huge! Nick wears all his feelings on his sleeves, he's not even slick about it either-- the fact that Christian, Sai, and Otis pick up on the fact that Nick has a thing for Charlie before he does speaks a lot to the fact that Nick doesn't seem very aware of how much of himself he gives away on the regular. Which again, in juxtaposition with the fact that he's perceived as a judgmental rugby lad by Tao (which, grain of salt here. I love Tao a lot but he's also quite judgmental in his own ways so this is a pot and kettle situation), and the fact that his own mother comments on the fact that he's much more himself since befriending Charlie? That's MASSIVE. I dunno. I could be projecting here but as an autistic teenager who did everything in my power to be like my peers and lowkey hated myself for it, I find this incredibly relatable. We see Nick starting to realize that a lot of his friends are dicks several times before he and Charlie kiss for the first time, and that's also relatable. It took me so long and still takes me so long to realize that people I thought were friends are actually quite shit. Again, I could be projecting but it reads very neurodivergent to me that it takes Nick being exposed to someone who is actually kind to him (Charlie) to realize that his friends aren't kind people. Insane tbh! Something else that got me is that we see Nick struggle with the fact that he really likes Charlie and wants to stay with him vs. the responsibility he feels to regroup with his friends. I don't actually think it's responsibility. I read it as Nick putting his mask back on and resuming the expectations he's been bearing since before he met Charlie and it's a visible struggle for him.

Nick, while pretty unaware of the fact that he can be read like a book, is also incredibly aware of the role he plays in his own friend group and the ways in which he has to perform. But he doesn't like it now. His early love for Charlie really puts things in perspective for him that he doesn't have to accept where he's at currently if he's unhappy and we get that moment of regret where we see that he knows he fucked up by leaving Charlie.

It looks like he's disassociating here. That, or his mind is still in that room with Charlie. It's a battle of expectations vs. what Nick wants. And Nick's wants are never Nick's first priority. He's a pathological people pleaser after all. And despite the fact that he just fully made out with another boy despite barely having figured out that he likes guys and the ethics on Charlie kissing him without asking (teenage stuff, I'm not arguing about it rn especially because this doesn't bother Nick in canon. idk why this discourse exists but maybe i was just making out too much as a teenager) The next day, Nick clears the air. Literally runs to Charlie's in the rain so they can talk it out and so he can be understood properly. He's desperate to make things right with him because 1) he's in love and 2) he cares a lot about Charlie's feelings to the point of putting them above his own later in the story. But the way he does it and the way he sort of overexplains his feelings almost constantly really strike me as neurodivergent. Nick goes above and beyond explaining how he feels to make sure nothing can be misconstrued and that really gives me the sense that Nick is... somewhat aware of the fact that people assume how he feels? Granted, this is coming off the heels of everyone saying he was in love with Tara, so maybe he felt the need to explain himself more since some people think one pre-teen kiss = fairytale love. (ignore the fact that Nick's fairytale kiss with the flowers totally equaled fairytale levels of love for him, lol.)

He literally explodes! Charlie is physically taken aback by his words. This happens right after Charlie has his big "I shouldn't have kissed you this was all my fault" etc. explosion. Which! The fact that Charlie explains how he feels down to feeling at fault and sharing that with Nick, who is very much like no.. no nO WAIT. I LIKED IT. (so much that he kisses Charlie to get him to understand that pre-explosion). And again, we sort of see Nick trying to bottle and be a bit more normal about it immediately before when Charlie tells him he's getting mixed-signals. Nick's response was to unmix the signal and then cry about it because THIS. IS. A . LOT.

For a cis-male character who is involved in a very masculine sport, surrounded by masculine people who are not nearly as emotional as he is(on page at least) the fact that Nick goes above and beyond in this moment where he's so vulnerable to ensure Charlie understands him is hugely neurodivergent to me. He's making sure Charlie gets that Nick loves him, he's making sure he gets that he's not mad about the kiss, and he makes sure Charlie knows he feels bad for leaving him behind. His bases are covered! There's no room to make assumptions about how he feels and I imagine for Charlie, a chronic overthinker, the fact that Nick is so blunt about his feelings all the time must be fucking incredible. He can actually take Nick at face value (at least at this point in the story ). But especially after Ben's gaslighting shit? Like fuck! I'd want to jump into a relationship too if the guy I've been crushing on for like two months ran to me house in the rain, kissed me, cleared the air, and then cried in my arms. I love emotional honesty! It's also interesting to me that it seems like his confusion towards his sexuality bothers him a LOT more than his feelings for Charlie do. He likes being in love with Charlie, that much obvious, but it's this conflict within himself that bugs him. And idk, I could be projecting again but I just can't see a neurotypical teenager reacting like that. To me, it really reads as Nick going. "Okay, I like kissing Charlie and being around Charlie. I'm in love, this is good. Check." but then his sexuality is a huge gray area until he does more research on bisexuality and decides that's the label he wants to use and I think the not knowing is what really bothers him. There's a lot of pressure in queer spaces especially nowadays to be labeled and for Nick, a character who buried his personality to be accepted by others, to specifically be upset at being confused about his identity reads as neurodivergent to me. Nick, by all accounts, doesn't seem to really care about his sexuality except for the way it challenges who he believed himself to be up until this point and what that means to the people around him who think he's just some straight laddish dude, you know? Largely, he also seems rather apathetic towards sexuality and gender in general except when he has to confront his sexuality and how other people will perceive him if they knew what his sexuality is-- hence keeping things between him and Charlie a secret despite the fact that he's never ever been shown to be ashamed of the fact that he loves Charlie.

Anyway, this post got way too long. Enjoy one of my favorite OCD/AUDHD moments between Nick and Charlie. THEY LITERALLY KISSED LIKE TEN MINUTES BEFORE THIS MOMENT... INSANE BEHAVIOR... I love them. The sillies.

[abrieenthusiast]

hey can we discuss how the season 1 finale of heartstopper directly parallels the n+c novella? cuz id love to

whether it was intentional or not (it has to be tho), alice wrote the last 2 episodes of season one as a parallel to the back half of the nick and charlie novella, which is some of the best “thinking ahead” we would see in a tv show in recent years

let me break it down people:

charlie proposes a break up to nick

season one: end of episode 7, charlie almost says “maybe it would be better if we just break up” before hearing about tao and harry fighting, and they seemingly go on a “break” not speaking to each other, vague right? similar to…

novella: charlie’s “you can break up with me if you want”, again for very diff reasons, BUT that being a catalyst for them to stop speaking to each other in a kinda sorta break up, again very vague

this next one has 2 interpretations of what it’s mirroring so i’ll mention both

nick and charlie stop talking to each other for a long time after an argument makes them have a vague kinda sorta break up:

season one: the fight between nick and harry making charlie stop talking to nick, this also kinda applies to the aftermath of tao and harry’s fight

novella: the argument in the conservatory causes them to both stop talking

OR…

tension involving other friends becomes the catalyst for charlie to rethink staying with nick

season 1: nick and harry’s fight makes charlie feel like he’s hurting nick or making things too “complicated or hard” for him, and contemplates breaking up/starts avoiding him, this also applies to after tao and harry fight

novella: t+e breaking up causes charlie to think that if a strong unit like them would break up, why wouldn’t nick? is long distance to “complicated or hard” for them? he then actively avoids nick at the party for hours

leaving a school event to make up

season 1: nick leaving the sports day to talk to charlie for the first time after the tao and harry fight and mend their relationship

novella: nick and charlie meeting outside the fete to talk for the first time after the argument and mend their relationship

mention originated from the books: beach day marking a new stage of their relationship

season one: going to the beach almost right after the previous scene, marking them going into the official “boyfriend” stage

novella: go to the beach right after the fete, not really knowing what has changed but feeling they’ve reached a new stage of their relationship (in my mind this is when they truly decide they want to be together for their entire lives)

and here’s the most obvious one,,,

“I DONT WANNA BREAK UP”

- SAID BY NICK NELSON IN BOTH THE SPORTS DAY AND FETE SCENE WHERE THEY DECIDE TO MEND THEIR RELATIONSHIP COME ON PEOPLE

in conclusion, heartstopper season 4 should happen for a lot of reasons, but a big one is that we would see a way of writing a book to tv adaptation that we haven’t really seen in this scale before? because it’s not just that the show has parallels with another book, it’s that the author created a nearly whole new ending to the first season, and wrote that to parallel a book that they thought wouldn’t even be adapted, in a way that was Not Obvious, but would pay off perfectly if they got far enough to do that.

it’s so cool idk ily alice🫶

[narliesource]

Heartstopper 🍂 Season one Episode one 🍂 Meet

[fightingsnails]

Hobie x trans!masc reader

Beach Episode

tea bee ech this is more for me than anyone else a/n: reader wears a binder, I have no idea the weather in the UK nor the situation with beaches. Honestly I didn't know the UK had beaches until heartstopper. bad accent. not proofread

You and Hobie had been friends for a little while now, and you really enjoyed hanging out with him. So when he asked you if you wanted to go to a small beach with him, you felt your heart sink.

Of course you said yes, you really enjoyed the company, and thought that when push came to shove you could own up to it and go to the beach with, knowing that this wouldn't impact your friendship.

But there was that little voice in the back of your head that said otherwise.

You knew he wouldn't care. He was Hobie for crying out loud, one of the most supporting guys you knew, you've even heard him speak out on issues involving transphobia.

But there was the thought that if he knew, he would treat you differently. He wouldn't rough house you, or tease you about issues that guys would usually tease women about, and the rational part of you chalked it up to him not being a mysgonist, but there was still that doubt.

Hell, there was a chance he already knew.

When the two of you had first met, it was just a normal conversation. Then one of his friends had come up and asked for introduction.

"Oi, yeah, t'is is y/n, and they- uh... actually, mind tellin' me whatcha go by, mate?"

Sure, yeah, it was a bit awkward, but him asking you what you go by instead of if you're a guy or a girl was a green flag.

So now you're sitting in your car, beside the beach that you were supposed to be meeting Hobie at. You were fully prepared to go swimming in your shirt and binder, despite knowing better.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when there was a tap on your window, startling you slightly. You whipped your head to face the window, being greeted by Hobie's shit eating grin, clearly satisfied that he startled you.

You opened your door. stepping out and playfully pushing his shoulder.

"You scared the shit out of me." You said, smiling up at him.

He nodded his head, a satisfied smirk still on his face, "Kinda the point, yeah?"

You shook your head, and the two of you began to walk to the beach. This was possibly the most casual had seen the punk, wearing a t-shirt and shorts, exposing his lanky arms and legs. but you decided not to comment on it.

So now your standing feet away from the water. the rhythmic sound of the waves not helping sooth your anxiety in the way you felt like it should. You hear Hobie set his bag down, and after a second you turn to him, seeing him take his shirt off, and you feel anxiety shoot through you.

"You're really going to swim in your shirt?" He asks casually, tossing his next to his bag as he begins to walk towards you. You know he doesn't mean it in a malicious way, but you can't help the way it only makes it more nervous.

"Yeah, I am. I mean it's just... y'know?" You say, crossing your arms over your chest nervously. You wish that you hadn't said that, because you know that just makes you sound guilty for something, and you feel like your suspicion is confirmed when Hobie raises an eyebrow.

"Mate, if your self conscious, y'know I don' care, right?" He assures, coming a bit closer. I mean, you were, but it wasn't in that way, and you felt like if you agreed, you'd be lying to him. Even if you were, there wasn't many people around.

"No, no, it's not that. It's just..." You began, nervously shifting on your feet. Even if you weren't looking at him, you could feel his expression grow slightly worried, and you panicked even more, feeling like you were making a big deal out of something that really shouldn't be.

You buzzed your lips, trying to fill the silence as you thought of your words. "Y'know, like, I guess I just want to take chances on me getting dysphoric." You said, hoping that the phrasing would be subtle enough that if he didn't know what it meant he would just glance over it.

You turned up to him, and you could see the gears turning in his head. After a second he met your eyes and shrugged.

"I mean, I don' really care, but I get it." He said, giving a small, reassuring smile. You felt your nerves soften slightly, thankful that he wasn't making a big deal of the situation.

You couldn't help but smile back, and you gave him a small nod. "Jus lemme know if there's anything I can do, yeah?" He says, lightly punching your shoulder. You can tell that he's trying to soften the tension, and you felt thankful for it.

"Yeah." You replied softly. You were about to drop the subject and step into the water finally, but your mind darted back to the binder your wearing. You know you're not supposed to get it wet, and the thought of the constriction around your chest getting tighter didn't seem very pleasant.

"Actually..." You began, and you felt bad for taking his attention again, but when he turned back to you, you could tell that he doesn't mind. Hobie was always the person who didn't seem to mind helping people, and you tried to keep that in mind while you talked to him.

"I want to, y'know, do what we came here to do, swim, but I'm kinda... binding." You continued, and you could see that the second the words left your mouth, he was already thinking of a solution.

After a second of him thinking, you were about to tell him to drop it, but he began to speak, "You could always jus' wear my shirt, if ya want, not really scared 'bout gettin' wet. Should be big on ya, if you're worried about tha' sorta thing."

You couldnt help but smile again, and you nodded your head. "Yeah! Yeah. That'd be great." You said, nodding your head again. He smiled back at you and he turned to go fetch you his shirt.

[theholmwoodfoundation]

THE HOLMWOOD FOUNDATION PILOT EPISODE CAST/CREW - PART ONE

REBECCA ROOT - MADDIE TOWNSEND/MINA HARKER

Rebecca trained at Mountview Academy of Theatre Arts. Theatre credits include A Midsummer Night’s Dream at Shakespeare’s Globe, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time for the National Theatre (UK and Ireland tour); Rathmines Road for Fishamble at the Abbey Theatre, Dublin; Trans Scripts at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and American Repertory Theater in Cambridge, Massachusetts; The Bear / The Proposal at the Young Vic; and Hamlet at the Gielgud Theatre and Athens International Festival. TV, Film and Video Game credits include Monsieur Spade, This Is Christmas, Irvine Welsh’s Crime, Hogwarts Legacy, Horizon Forbidden West, Heartstopper, Annika, The Rising, Sex Education, The Gallery, The Queen’s Gambit, Finding Alice, Creation Stories, Last Christmas, The Sisters Brothers, Colette, The Danish Girl, Flack, The Romanoffs, Moominvalley, Hank Zipzer, Boy Meets Girl, Doctors, Casualty, The Detectives, and Keeping Up Appearances.  Radio credits include Clare In The Community, Life Lines, The Hotel, and 1977 for BBC Radio 4. Guest appearances include Woman’s Hour, Front Row, Loose Ends, Saturday Live, and A Good Read.  She plays Tania Bell in the award-winning Doctor Who: Stranded audio dramas. Rebecca has also recorded numerous documentary narrations, audiobooks, and voice-overs. Rebecca is also a voice and speech coach, holding the MA in Voice Studies from Royal Central School of Speech and Drama.

SEAN CARLSEN - JEREMY LARKIN/ JONATHAN HARKER

Born in South Wales, Seán trained at the Royal Welsh College of Music & Drama. He has worked extensively in audio drama, television, theatre and film.  Seán is perhaps best known to Doctor Who fans as Narvin in the Doctor Who audio series Gallifrey and has appeared on TV in Doctor Who - The Christmas Invasion and Torchwood. Recent TV credits include Mudtown (BBCiplayer/S4C), Dal y Mellt (Netflix), His Dark Materials (BBC1), All Creatures Great and Small (Channel 5), A Mother's Love (Channel 4) and Series 5 of Stella (Sky1).  Films include supporting leads in Boudica - Rise of the Warrior Queen, cult horror The Cleansing,  the lead in Forgotten Journeys and John Sheedy’s forthcoming film ‘Never Never Never’

SAM CLEMENS - ARTHUR JONES

Samuel Clemens trained at the Drama Centre London and is an award-winning director with over twenty years’ experience. Samuel has recently written and directed his debut feature film ‘The Waterhouse’ with Take The Shot Films & Featuristic Films and represented by Raven Banner Entertainment, which is due for release this coming year.  In addition, he has directed fourteen short films, winning awards all over the world including shorts ‘Surgery (multi-award winning), A Bad Day To Propose (Straight 8 winner 2021), Say No & Dress Rehearsal’. Samuel also directs critically acclaimed number one UK stage tours and fringe shows (Rose Theatre Kingston, Swansea Grand, Eastbourne, Yvonne Arnaud, Waterloo East Theatre) and commercials include clients JD Sports, Shell and Space NK. Samuel is also a regular producer and director for Big Finish Productions & Anderson Entertainment. He has cast, directed, produced and post supervised numerous productions of ‘Doctor Who – (BBC), The Avengers (Studio Canal), Thunderbirds, Stingray (Anderson Entertainment), Callan, Missy, Gallifrey’& Shilling & Sixpence Investigate’ and many more. Samuel has directed world class talent such as, Sir Roger Moore, Ben Miles, Tom Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Alex Kingston, Frank Skinner, Rita Ora, Rosie Huntingdon-Whiteley, Rufus Hound, David Warner, Celia Imrie, Samuel West, Youssef Kerkour, Sophie Aldred, Ian McNiece, Colin Baker, Olivia Poulet, Stephen Wight, Jade Anouka, Mimi Ndwendi, Michelle Gomez, Peter Davidson, Paul O’Grady and many more. Samuel is one of the founding members and directors at Take The Shot Films Ltd and is Head of Artistic Creation and Direction. Lastly, Samuel is a regular tutor at The London Film Academy, The Giles Foreman Centre for Acting & The Rose Youth Theatre and is a member of The Directors Guild UK. As for upcoming projects, Sam is currently in pre-production on his next feature film “On The Edge of Darkness”, which is based on his dad’s stage play “Strictly Murder”.

ATTILA PUSKAS - DRACULA

Attila Puskás is a native Hungarian Voice Actor born in Transylvania – Romania, so Romanian is in his bag of tricks too, but most of his work is done in English, in a Transatlantic Eastern European Accent, but is quite capable of Hungarian, Romanian and International Eastern European accents, plus Standard American. His voice range is Adult to Middle Aged (30-40+) due to his deep voice. Vocal styles can range from authoritive, brooding to calming and reassuring and much more. He’s most experienced in character work, like Animations and Games, but his skills encompass Commercials to Narration as well. He’s received training through classes and workshops, pushing him to the next level to achieve higher standards. Now on a journey to perfect these skills and put them to good use!

PART TWO: HERE

PART THREE: HERE

[phantomspiderr]

Admiring the Art

Pairing: Marc Spector x reader

Word Count: 700+

Summary: spending an afternoon admiring art with Marc

Warnings/tags: fluff, little tiny 🤏🏻 smidge of insecure!marc

a/n: yes this was inspired by one of the new heartstopper episodes

“How am I supposed to admire all this art when you’re the most beautiful thing here?” Your head whips around to the sound of Marc’s voice, a giant grin forming as his words sink in. He’s stood just an arm's length away looking at you with a slight tilt of his head. 

“Shush,” you reach your hand out to him which he takes and he steps up next to you. Marc smiles down at you, his eyes taking a moment to look over your face. You scrunch your nose and that makes a quiet chuckle escape him. Turning back to the painting you’d been admiring, you lean your head on his shoulder, wrapping your free arm around his while your hands stay intertwined. For a few minutes, you both just stay like that observing the art and trying to look like you know what you’re doing.

“It’s beautiful,” you comment quietly.

“You’re beautiful.”

“Stoooppp,” your cheeks grow hot at the compliment.

“It’s just the truth.” Marc’s hand squeezes yours before his thumb starts comfortingly brushing back and forth. 

Happily, you both move around the gallery’s exhibits hand in hand. Each time you stop Marc lets you lean your head on his shoulder and he continues to move his thumb against your hand. It’s a perfectly quiet way to spend your afternoon.

“Are you having fun?” Marc whispers and when you crane your neck back to glance at him you see he’s already looking down at you.

“Of course,” you smile casually before looking back to the art. There’s a beat of silence before Marc speaks again.

“I-I mean,” when you look up at him again his face has a more serious look to it and it makes you stand up a bit straighter, “are you having a good time… with me?”

“Yes, of course!” You pull your hand from his so you can wrap your arms around his waist, and instinctively Marc’s arm hooks around your shoulders. His eyes won’t meet yours and your heart aches at the thought he’d ever doubt you were having a good time with him. “I am having the best time with you. You are perfect, Marc Spector.”

You smile when you see him playfully roll his eyes but he can’t hide the way his lips curve upwards. 

“I’m serious, this whole trip has been perfect and getting to spend time with each of you has been really important to me.”

“Yeah, okay.” His hand rubs the top of your arm and he keeps his eyes looking forward. You know Marc would do anything to stop any conversation where he’s the one getting complimented but you also know he craves the validation that he’s good enough.

“You really are perfect, you know that right?” Your arms squeeze around his torso to make sure you’ve got his attention, “the most perfect.” You raise yourself up onto your tiptoes to plant a delicate kiss on his jaw and that’s the thing that makes him finally look at you.

“Stop.” He’s not serious at all, the smile on his face gives that much away.

“It’s just the truth, Marc.” You shrug your shoulders as a cheeky grin makes its way onto your face. Marc catches the way you repeat his own words back to him and he just shakes his head at you. 

“You know,” quietly you whisper jokingly looking around to make sure there’s no one close by, “don’t tell the other two but you’re my favourite.” Marc instantly chuckles and the sound only causes your smile to stretch.

“I know that you say that to all of us.” It’s your turn to giggle now and Marc can’t help the overwhelming urge to just kiss you. One quick peck turns into two and the third is a little longer then neither of you pull away, happy to stay close enough to almost kiss for just a second. Marc quickly shifts to plant a kiss on your cheek before pulling you into a tight hug. You instantly return the hug, arms squeezing tightly around him while he sways you side to side. You feel his lips press against the top of your head, his grip on you loosening in sync with yours.

“Come on, Steven’s bugging me about an exhibit he wants to see.”

summer break series

[kleinblue52]

I'm on my fifth rewatch of Heartstopper in preparation for the new season, and I found a detail in one of the first episodes that really struck me as one of the saddest of the whole first season.

I'm sure others have picked this up before, but it only struck me on this rewatch: when Charlie writes the "break up" text to Ben, he deletes two rather assertive, even aggressive texts and finally settles for "i don't want to meet up anymore" which sounds SO MUCH like something a victim of abuse would say. Like someone who was coerced into a toxic, maybe even dangerous situation and finally wants to break free, but still doesn't have enough strength to take a stand and the next best option is trying to cling on to the hope that the abuser will show enough decency that they will just stop, finally understanding that the other person is in distress. "I don't want to do this anymore", "I don't like this anymore"... how many people have that kind of reaction when they realize that a situation is or has always been one sided and unsafe? And how many times, just like with Ben, the hope of common human decency is crushed by a much bleaker reality?

I find the whole scene incredibly sad and that one single text breaks my heart. After going through bullying and degradation, Charlie is still so afraid of the world and uncertain about his own value as a person that he cannot bring himself to be direct and tough with someone who is manipulating him, all he can do is sheepishly try to distance himself from Ben with a text that reads like a feeble whisper.

My poor poor Charlie, I love him so much. And I love that when he finds Nick he doesn't only find a knight in shining armor that will save him, he finds someone who will give him enough strength to save himself, all on his own (as shown in his subsequent confrontations with Ben).

[stopper-my-heart]

How are you doing

What’s your favorite episode of Heartstopper

Hey Anon!

I'm doing alright, though I wish I weren't constantly dizzy these recent times. Thanks for checking on me. I hope you're doing okay!

As I mentioned in my reply to the last ask, my favourites related to Heartstopper change all the time, so here's the snapshot answer:

My in-this-moment favourite episode of Heartstopper is the very first one, S1E1: Meet.

The Ben parts of the episode are always hard, but I absolutely adore watching Nick's nervousness and his crush on Charlie developing. (Honestly, at this point I think I could teach a Masterclass on Interpreting Nick Nelson -- in general, but especially in episode 1.) I also love watching Charlie's infatuation-at-first-sight progress and change as his friendship with Nick develops.

---------------

Have some giant gifs of cuteness from S1E1 (I worked very hard to restrain myself):

(The file name of this gif ⬇️ is "Nick being a little besotted")

---------------

For an overall summary of my "my favourite episode of Heartstopper" thoughts, see Joe's answer to a very similar question (and Kit's response to it) here.

Thanks for asking, Anon!

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

I just finished the first episode of Heartstopper, so here are some of my thoughts in no particular order.

The opening song is cool (will probably look up the shows soundtrack like I did with XO, Kitty).

Why did the camera focus so much on Charlie's bag & Elle's drink? Is it product placement?

Wow, no hate to the actor, but Charlie's eyebrows are THICK!!!!

Tori is beautiful but also kind of looks like a ghost (I think she’d be great for the role of  Violet Baudelaire from A Series Of Unfortunate Events) & why was she so pushy about the "dream guy" thing? Like let the poor boy breathe.

Is Nick's actor that much taller than Charlie's? I hadn't noticed.

I’m sorry, but knees are so weird to me lol. Also obligatory, 🎵 she's a runner she's a track star🎵.

Wait, is that PE teacher that will later interrupt the team theorising about Nick & Charlie's relationship? It's crazy how they’ve found actors who look so much like the characters in the graphic novels (other casting directors should take notes).

Ok fair enough about wanting your team to be good & wondering if the quiet, skinny, nerdy, boy is even into sports but the shit about him being gay is so stupid (bet it was Harry that said that).

Glad Charlie didn't get injured learning rugby, lol.

Nick's shorts seem a lot smaller than Charlie's ones do, but maybe that's the costume designer's way of helping Charlie’s actor look more skinny?

Omg Stephen Fry, what are you doing here lol?

Wow, people weren't kidding. Olivia Colman really did show up just to say one line. What a legend, lol.

Ben, did you really make Charlie walk all that way for such a lame ass kiss? Also, let him talk about his Christmas, you jerk!

I don't think that Form tutor is very good at his job (while Nick thankfully turned out to be nice) it’s usually not a great idea to put the skinny, gay, nerd that has already been bullied with the bigger, popular, seemingly straight, athlete, especially at an all boys school!

Ben, you dick. Like I get wanting to keep your relationship secret, but you did not need to pull the 'who the hell are you!' card. All you had to do was say hi in a confused/uninterested tone (then apologise later). If anything, your reaction came off more weird than what Charlie did.

I'm sorry, but I don't get the leaf animation. I mean, I GET it, just why leaves? Why not flowers or hearts or something? It just doesn’t seem that impactful to me, but maybe they have a deeper meaning that I'm just not grasping yet? If so, please let me know.

Ok, so I'm torn over the gay teacher. Like artistic? That's cool. Those glasses? Cute. Him giving Charlie a safe space to eat lunch? Great. Him being worried over Charlie potentially being bullied again? Awesome (take notes, Form guy), but his advice to Charlie seemed slightly lacking. Obviously, honesty & communication are important in relationships, but I'm a little surprised that possible safety concerns weren't addressed at all, especially from a fellow gay guy. Like I get that he doesn’t know the kind of guy Charlie's "dating" & that just because someone doesn't want to come out yet doesn’t mean they should be labelled as dangerous but internalised homophobia can make some people lash out & after everything Charlie's been through his clearly more likely to be vulnerable to situations like that.

Nick is a golden retriever in human form, they're 100% correct 😊.

Isaac? What happened to Aled? I hope he still shows up. He may be quiet, but he was so cute during Charlie's 15th birthday in the graphic novel.

Interesting to get to see Elle's time at Higg's (fuck that transphobic teacher & whoever was throwing sandwiches at her). Sad she doesn’t have any friends but I'm sure that'll change when she meets Tara & Darcy. Wow, is it strict over there, though, like you can't even be on your phone at lunchtime? Damn! Surprised they did it this way, though, as I was assuming they'd just make Truham co-ed so all the characters could be in the same place.

Tao, my guy, the drink thing is sweet but that hair is.....certainly.....a choice 😅.

The shots of Charlie looking at food, without eating, make me ☹️.

I gotta be honest, the montage of Nick & Charlie saying hi to each other was a little cringy to me compared to how it came across in the graphic novel, but they're meant to be teens, so I'll let it slide. It's also an effective way to highlight how differently Charlie's "boyfriend" treats him compared to an acquaintance.

Ben's hand covering up Nick's smiley face got me like ☹️/😠. They're not even together yet & I already felt like telling him to get off Charlie, like that boy is not for you! It’s ridiculous, lol.

Ben what you did was fucked up but it's hard to be scared of someone who looks so much like a meerkat in a wig (no hate to the actor) also did it seem like he just....skidded away when Nick pulled him off Charlie? Like, was the actor wearing Heelys lol? Or had someone just mopped the floor without telling anyone? Also, it's lame to wear a coat when you're cold? What in the toxic masculinity are you fucking on about Ben?

Omg the bathroom scene was so adorable, but I wanna know what kind of pen Nick was using because being covered in that amount of ink is crazy 😆.

Overall, it's very cute. I like Nick & Charlie. It’ll probably take a bit longer for me to really care about the other characters. Ben can catch these hands! And I’m looking forward to watching the Narlie relationship develop.

So while not overly ground breaking (though obviously important for LGBTQ+ rep) it's definitely enjoyable in a comforting sort of way which (considering medias fascination with marginalised suffering) is obviously important for queer youth but also must be quite healing for queer elders. Because you deserve wholesome, cheesy, romance just as much as anyone else.

[ani-bunnie13]

scene-to-scene #2

because i feel like episode one is so full of heartstopper comic moments, i think that the first 3 s-t-s are literally going to be the first episode lol

scene-to-scene #2: ink explosion scene, chapter one Meet, episode one Meet

i did have a hard time finding the exact scene from the netflix series in the best resolution but, with a little searching i found a really good series of images that have the comic's dialogue shown!

this scene is really important.

it shows how much nick and charlie's relationship grew from their friendship and how much it changed their lives. during the scene, charlie explains that they've talked and have grown closer than just being desk mates in form. i really love how whimsical the whole thing feels and how pure it seems that they are growing as closer friends.

thank you so much for all the support on this series! i promise im trying my best to post as much content as i can and im truly sorry for the delays!!

last thing before i go, APOFO is soon returning for its final post!

i love and appreciate you.

xx ani-bunnie

[bidisasterevankinard]

I never meant to come across as defending someone who hates Buck. I swear! 😭

I think it's normal to be angry about a character's actions, especially when you can't fully relate to them. I think if Buck and Tommy got back together, there would be a lot of things to discuss, including Buck being mad at Tommy for kinda using Buck's queer experience as an excuse to break up when Tommy's insecurities seem to be the real and stronger reason. The problem is that the writers seems to think that Tommy was right (Tim saying that he is older and wiser and saw the risk) and, unless something changes, they won't explore it from his point of view any further.

I like characters to be flawed, so I don't mind criticism of Tommy or Buck. I think what really makes people mad at Buck in this arc ending, as 8x6 portrayed him (is like it wasn't entirely their Buck - but you can disagree of course), is that Buck is passive about his own experience and in that, things like, why didn't Tommy show him the Kinsley scale? It would put Tommy back in the role of queer guide at a point where Buck doesn't seem to have any autonomy when we know he does. He's always researched things because he wanted to. So please, this isn't a criticism of Buck per se, but how the episode made him seem, and then putting the responsibility for discovering his own identity on Tommy once more would not be a good trope (and speaking as a bisexual) is also not a good approach to bisexuality on media. Look at Heartstopper (which can be criticize too): a different situation but even more blatant because they're teenagers, Nick realizes his attraction to Charlie (who is out) but we see Nick questioning himself, going after what that means, realizing his crushes from before and currently including movies stars/characters, then asking Tara about their experiences while "dating" and hers in particular as a lesbian. But 911, even with Hen and Karen and Josh, also deprived Buck of this, of this agency. So we can criticize Tommy, especially for "this is new and exciting and I'm your first and not your last - you don't know what you want yet", but I don't think the way to do it is to criticize him for not guiding Buck more, as if Buck were helpless, had no means of research and much less queer people who have been in his life longer.  If we do this, we justify the bad writing choices for the character and in the future he may suffer more because of it. I don't know?

And sorry for anything, I do hope you can take your sleep and I'm sorry you have to see people hating on Buck.

I see it now, and I'm really sorry about my words too 🫂

And yes, I wish Buck be angry on Tommy about his biphobic comment, but it just dreams and fics (Tim 🔪🔪🔪 when I catch you)

And yes, I agree with this point too. I just want people agree that 8x6 was really bad in portraiting Buck and I just hope they will somehow fix it. Maybe with flashbacks to Buck actually searching it all when bt were together, but still feeling like a fraud and feeling scared to admit who he was in real labels, so he decided to keep it all hidden or smt. Or maybe actually give him arc where he not just fucks around, but where he meets someone, who he doesn't sleep with, but can talk why he can't say he's bisexual. Here they can use that Tommy was talking about his experience as a gay man, not smt Buck can relate. Maddie twice basically called him gay, Eddie said "Tommy gay?", but not "wait you are ....". Basically every person we saw around Buck talking about two possible sexualities. Gay or straight. Also, except maddie in 7x5 all other times it was about Tommy's sexuality. And Hen is lesbian, also not bisexual. Josh is gay(who used biphobic show as example). No one around Buck, not even queer people, ever said "so you're bi?" or at least not went to "how can you be with Tommy and not be gay?"

Kinda feels like the situation where you can't be sure you can come out as bisexual, not gay, not "I like Tommy", but bisexual without being scared. Also it goes good with hims researching, but finding out how biphobic community is and feeling uneasy to come out to even his own boyfriend

And that's why I hope he will find a bisexual person to guide him

[dragonydreams]

No Crisis, Only Calm (Redux) - Buck & May

Title: No Crisis, Only Calm (Redux) Fandom: 9-1-1 Rating: General Audience Pairings/Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley & May Grant Tags: mentions Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard, Coming Out, TV show recs, pseudo sibling bonding Summary: May shares with Buck the magic of Heartstopper after Buck tells her about his date with Tommy. Timeline: post 7x05 Word Count: 1,633 Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over these characters. I am merely borrowing them from Reamworks, Brad Falchuk Teley-Vision, Ryan Murphy Television, and 20th Century Fox Television. Betas: Thank you to @medieshanachie for looking this over for me. Author's Note: This idea popped into my head after seeing an article about Heartstopper S3.

Author's Note 2: I wasn't satisfied with the first version of this story so I reformatted it and expanded it. I'm much happier with this now and hope you enjoy it too.

Read on AO3

Are you on shift?

The text popped up on Buck's phone and he couldn't help smiling at it. He didn't hear from May as much since she'd started college, but she has been checking in more since the lightning.

Not today, Buck responded. What's up?

His phone lit up with May's face as he was alerted that he had an incoming video call. He immediately accepted. 

"Why were you being weird Saturday night?" May asked before he could even say hello.

Buck did a wonderful impression of a fish as he stared wide-eyed at May. He nervously licked his lips before he asked, "What do you know about Saturday night?"

"Eddie texted me to ask if I knew why you were acting weird."

"Why would he ask you that?"

"That's what I said!" May exclaimed. 

"And it took you a week to follow up with me?"

May rolled her eyes. "I had classes.  And study groups. And homework. So much homework."

"Well, Eddie and I have talked since then and he now knows why I was acting weird," Buck said, hoping to end this conversation. It wasn't that he didn't want May to know about Tommy. He actually kinda wanted to shout from the roof to tell everyone about him.

"...and?" she prompted. 

Buck took a moment to decide if he wanted to tell her. He hadn't told Bobby yet, but he could trust May not to gossip. If he asked her not to, at least.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before answering. "When I saw Eddie, I was on a date. With a man. But I was caught off guard and reacted badly."

"Since when do you date men?" May asked. 

"Since Saturday," Buck said, wincing slightly.

"OMG, was he your bi-awakening?" May squealed, excitedly.

"I suppose you could call it that," Buck admitted. "He kissed me the Thursday before our date and it felt like the whole world came into focus." He could feel himself grinning like an idiot as he remembered the kiss.

"How far down the research hole did you fall after?" 

"Not very, if you can believe it."

"I'm having trouble believing that," May teased.

"I know, it's very not me. Then again, so is being into men." He paused to think about what he'd just said. "Although, I guess that is me, now."

While he'd been speaking, May was obviously looking something up on her phone. 

"In that case, go watch this," a text with a link popped up for a trailer, "and then call me back."

Buck clicked on the link after May hung up on him and watched the clip about two teenage boys in England falling for each other - one was gay and the other was bi. Apparently it was based on a graphic novel. 

As soon as Buck finished watching he called May back. "How did I not know about this?"

"Because you weren't seeking out queer YA shows?" May suggested. "But you should watch. The episodes are only like half an hour each."

"I guess I know how I'm spending the rest of my day."

Buck watched May look away briefly and bit her lip before meeting his eyes again. "Want some company while you watch?"

Buck blinked back the sudden moisture in his eyes. 

"Yeah, I think I'd like that."

"I can be there in an hour. With ice cream," she said.

"I'll be here."

"I'll see you soon," May said before ending the call.

Buck stared at the phone for a minute, moved by May's offer to share this show, which she obviously enjoyed, with him.

~~*~~

Buck was sitting at the kitchen table when there was a knock on the door 58 minutes after he'd hung up with May. Now that May was going to introduce him to this show about a bi-awakening, as she'd called it, he was curious about what else was out there. 

He'd found the expected "Could I be gay?" quizzes, but he already knew the answer to that question. He still loved women, but he was also definitely attracted to men. Which made him bisexual, or pan, but he thought bisexual was the right word for him.

He went to open the door and May was grinning at him as she held up the bag with ice cream in it. 

"You know, I don't think I've ever actually been here before," May said as Buck held the door open for her. "This is nice."

Buck blinked as he closed the door and realized that she was right. "Well then, it's about time. It's a loft so the tour will be quick. This is the kitchen, bathroom is over there," he pointed to a closed door next to the stairs, "bedroom is in the loft, and living room is this way." He led her through to the room in question.

May took the ice cream out of the bag and noticed that Buck had already set out a couple of spoons and glasses of water. The show was pulled up on the TV, just waiting for them.

As she made herself at home on the couch with one of the pints of ice cream, May said, "So, tell me more about this guy that turned your world upside down."

Buck felt his cheeks heating up as he settled next to her with the other pint. "Well, Tommy's a firefighter with Harbor. A pilot. He's actually the one that flew us to rescue your mom and Bobby."

"Hold up," May said, sitting up from her slouch and holding out her hand. "You don't mean Tommy Kinard?" 

"Uh, yeah," Buck confirmed. 

"Damn, Buckley. He's fine," May said. "I mean, he's old enough to be my dad, but damn."

Buck felt his face flush again as he couldn't help but agree. "Yeah, he is." 

"So how did you go from him helping to rescue Mom and Bobby to him kissing you?" May asked as she settled back.

"Well, uh, I guess both Eddie and I wanted to get to know Tommy better after he helped with the rescue. Those two started spending a lot of time together and I guess I got kinda jealous. Like Eddie was replacing me? But also because he was spending all this time with Tommy. Things got a little out of hand at this pickup basketball game and I got Eddie hurt. Later that night Tommy came over to tell me that he wasn't trying to come between me and Eddie and I told him that I just really wanted to get to know him better. That trying to get his attention was exhausting and then he kissed me." 

Buck took a big bit of ice cream after he finished word vomiting all over May. 

"Wow," she said. "That was a lot."

"Oh, and after making sure I was okay with the kiss he asked me out for Saturday."

"And you didn't spiral after that kiss?" May asked. "That seems like something that would cause you to spiral."

"Yeah, I was kinda surprised about that myself," Buck admitted. "But it was more like a puzzle piece finally turning the right way to fit in a hole in a larger puzzle. Everything just felt right. Settled in a way that I've never been in my life before." 

"That sounds wonderful," May said, in awe.

"It is. Of course then Eddie and Marisol showed up at the restaurant Tommy took us to on Saturday and I was so surprised that I went all dudebro and told Eddie we were just two guys hanging out and were gonna go pick up some hot chicks later."

"You. Did. Not."

"Oh, I did. Tommy was not amused and instead of going to a movie after dinner he got an Uber home by himself. Just left me in front of the restaurant."

"Can't say I really blame him," May said. 

"Neither could I. But I told Eddie and he convinced me to call Tommy. Luckily he agreed to meet me for coffee and I invited him to be my date at Maddie's wedding."

May's eyes widened. "You're bringing him as your date to your sister's wedding? Way to come out to everyone at once."

Buck shrugged. "This is who I am. It shouldn't matter if I want to bring a man as my date instead of a woman. I'm happy and that's all that should matter. If anyone has a problem with that, that's on them, not me."

"I am loving this attitude," May said. "And you're right. It doesn't matter."

"Just, uh, I haven't told Bobby yet, so for now can you not say anything? I'd rather he find out with everyone else."

"Of course. So just me and Eddie know?"

"Maddie knows, too. It was kind of an accident, but she does know. I let the pronoun slip when I was talking about my interrupted date to her."

"How'd she take the news?"

"You know Maddie, she was totally supportive. Surprised, but supportive. Eddie, too."

"And now me," May said. "Thank you for sharing this with me."

"Thank you for sharing this," he gestured to the television, "with me."

"Is that your way of telling me you're talked out?" May teased.

"Yes, but I also want to see this show," Buck said.

"Then let's watch. It's been a while since I did a re-watch," May said. 

"How many times have you seen it?" Buck asked.

"A couple," May answered. "It's a really sweet story. Lots of good queer representation."

"Is this your way of trying to tell me something?" Buck tentatively asked.

"No, I just like watching all kinds of love stories, not just heterosexual ones," May said. "But thank you for asking."

"Anytime," Buck said. 

He grabbed the remote and hit play.

Link to trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrK4xPy4ahg

[bethaven]

#22 Heartstopper

Plot: Nick and Charlie get placed together at form in school and immediately - sparks. Charlie's unsure if Nick likes him back, or even if he's non-straight. Nick on the other hand, get very confused about these new feelings. Meeting, falling in love and being out turns out to be more complicated than they could've ever imagined. But it's the love story of the century and together with supportive friends and family they can overcome anything. We also get to follow their friends and family in their own endeavours, like the relationships between Tao and Elle and Tara and Darcy as well as Isaac's ace-journey.

Years: 2022-

Seasons: 2 (season three arriving in 2024)

My story: There's so much to say here, but I'll try to keep it short. I discovered Heartstopper shortly after the first season had arrived to Netflix. It fast became one of my favourites and led to a few rewatches over the first year. But I didn't move further into the fandom just yet. When season 2 dropped I'd been longing for it all summer. I'd had a rough year with chaos at work combined with both my grandfathers passing away within two months. I'd been keeping myself distracted with travelling all summer, but then suddenly there were no distractions left. My mental health spiraled. The only thing that kept me afloat was Heartstopper. I watched all episodes everyday for about two months. I read the comics over and over. I went deep into the Osemanverse and I read books, which I normally never do. I got into tumblr. All of it kind of became my saving. And I owe it all to Alice Oseman.

Teachable moments: For me Heartstopper teaches us primarily about how love is always just love, in whichever form it comes in. Wheither it's platonic, romantic or other types of love, wheither it's the love you feel for your partner or the love you feel for friends and family - they're all valid and important.

Best character: Even though I love them all, I've always had a soft spot for Charlie. There's so many layers of him and I am really looking forward to how the rest of his journey will be portrayed on screen. He has the biggest heart and is so much stronger than he thinks.

Best episode: "Boyfriend" (S1E8). I love how this episode start at the deep end and ends on a high note. Nick's speach and their kiss in the corridor together with the beach trip just makes this perfect. A big runner up is "Truth/Dare" (S2E6), not the least for Tara and Darcy's story and growth.

Best quote: "I think there's this idea that when you're not straight you have to tell all your friends and family immediately, like you owe it to them. But you don't." (Charlie to Nick) This line has really helped me in my own journey about sexuality/attractions.

Fun fact: It'd be hard to find a fun fact that the Heartstopper fandom didn't already know (even though it might be true for all the series in this calendar). But for the not so initiated it'd be fun to know that Joe Locke, who plays Charlie, got the role through an open audition and this is his first time acting professionally. In 2024 he'll be both in a new Marvel series (which, in a parallel universe is quite funny since Charlie doesn't like Marvel) and do his Broadway debut in Sweeny Todd.

If you like this you might also like: Young Royals, Skins, Tales of the City, Skam and Atypical.

(Heartstopper is the adaptation of Alice Oseman's webcomic and books. Volume 5 was just released and volume 6 will be the last one. The webcomic is normally released three times a month, but will now be on a hiatus for about six months, until Alice have some volume 6 stuff to share. Also check out the novellas Nick and Charlie and This winter as well as Alice's novels Solitaire (where the story about Nick and Charlie started), Radio Silence, I was born for this and Loveless. She has also written and created the Netflix series.)