#hearts. it's kind of intense

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

Also I feel like seeing them fuck would have been 10 time less explicit then what you did there. The insect visual make it so much more crude and visceral.

yeah i know right? ive been thinking about this a lot this week because, like a couple other fanarts ive made (like the thoschei cannibalism fic and to a lesser degree maybe the thasmin smut) this video works entirely on the subtextual level? theres nothing to this except for the subtext. when vimeo asked me to rate it and then check the things that were in the video there were like four options like nudity, sex maybe, something else, and violence, and i couldnt really check any of them? i was like oh right theres actually nothing in here. same with youtube, i read the content policy guidelines and like, no there is probably no sexual content in this video according to them. but thats just because they specify explicit. and everything here is inherently implicit. we dont have doctor who sex scenes. it cant be explicit. but it feels explicit?

it's like when we talked about whether the intention makes something art but now im like, does the intention make something smut, or is it the interpretation, or is it some specific images?

if you follow guidelines of sites like youtube and vimeo you'd think it's a couple of specific images and words that make something sexual, but theyre not describing sex are they? theyre describing marketability. it'd be a mistake to take their descriptions of sexual content as saying anything at all about what sex is.

people say "tag your stuff" like thats not a maddeningly subjective endeavour. even just looking at my eternal feud with / or & when tagging thoschei. things like Major Character Death might be pretty descriptive and seemingly clear cut (though im sure theres fics where authors have struggled with that check mark too) but ratings are mostly vibes-based.

do we need to tag subtext? is that not the domain of the reader? is tagging stuff that youre leaving to interpretation not kinda ruining part of the experience of reading/viewing the thing? or do you need to tag that when it could be HarmfulTM? (i'll admit my brain is definitely infected with online discourse about HarmTM and theres parts of my thinking about this thats definitely irrational, like im not gonna psychologically scar someone with a spicy bug volcano video. but im trying to work around those thought pretzels bear with me) do we need to tag subtext if thats the entire work? saying this video contains frogs and spiders is helpful for the frog- and spiderphobic but it's also an incomplete truth. the frogs and spiders describe other things, theyre just the words im using. do i need to tag orgasm denial or dom 13 or sub master if people maybe dont even see that part until i just said it?

anyway this video would probably be allowed on youtube because youtubes policy guidelines specify only explicit sexual content and depiction of things and also doesnt seem to differentiate between fictional and nonfictional content which is weird to me. like i feel like those two things definitely need to be treated as different things? and it's maybe not great to blur those lines.

anyway im not asking you specifically all these questions, i dont even think theyre questions with one answer, im just thinking out loud

tldr what makes porn porn i guess. can porn be bugs crawling into holes if i try really hard

[lunarharp]

played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles

[if-you-heart]

heart doodle from last night during a convo about the guy. he reminds me of that azula scene from avatar, you know the one. i am extremely normal about this character. that and i love drawing intense expressions

[itspileofgoodthings]

I go off about Catholic/christian religious influencers of all kinds and I do so for many reasons but one of the main ones is just. the feeling they’re selling (and it is a feeling and they’re selling it, even if just for views) it doesn’t feel like that for everyone. That whole simplistic set-up of struggle struggle struggle, breakthrough, clarity, emotional peace, tears streaming down the face. That’s not real. Or at least it’s not real much of the time in MANY cases and even when it is real that isn’t the only part or the most important part of having a relationship with God. It’s probably the least important part, the feeling. and so it fills me with RAGE when the emotional part of religion is sold and packaged and paraded and presented on Instagram as “inspiration”! it distorts the whole reality of a relationship with God and puts a literal and figurative Instagram filter over the whole thing.

[firstroseofspring]

excerpts on the tradition of klingon opera from the introduction of the paq'batlh

[mickedy]

happy birthday oswald

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[clockwork-carstairs]

Remember when Tessa and Jem were in the carriage on the way back from the battle at the start of clockwork princess? And Tessa’s worrying over Jem bec he’s injured and weak, and he lightly holds her wrist and smiles and gently says your pulse is quickening and Tessa says, “I love you.” And it’s just such a tender and moving moment because they’ve both got their hearts on their SLEEVES for each other. Jessa were always so romantic.

[mallevsmaleficarum]

multiple things can be true at the same time re: Tracker did tell Kristen things she very much needed to hear and also it was shitty of her to tell it to her then and in that way

like heyy girlie kinda toxic to call your ex at 5 am to 'ask her permission' to hard launch your new gf on insta and then also tell your ex she shouldn't expect things to be easy for her after she just told you she's going through it (something you didn't have the guts to say when she had a more stable support system to tackle her latent issues from leaving her cult)

[good-beanswrites]

"Prisoner @waivyjellyfish ! Milgramblrgram has judged you guilty for your crimes! It is time to meet your judgement. As the wardens' fang, I take that responsibility upon myself!" (Muahaha -- Es angst for you 👊)

Es clutched at their head. Their fingers tore through their hair. It was the middle of the night, so they resisted the urge to shout. They didn’t want to draw any attention to themself. If they remained completely silent, though, they wouldn’t need to refrain from crying.

And so they cried.

You see, there is only one sensation worse than waking up from an awful dream: waking up from a very, very, good one. 

Es had grown accustomed to the nightmares that Milgram produced. In these dreams, Es might take the place of the prisoners. Their stomach would twist with horror at the blood on their hands. Other times, they found themselves in the victim’s shoes. They’d wake in a cold sweat, feeling hands closing around their throat, or weapons swung at their temple. 

But they weren’t prepared for a dream of absolute peace. They were happy. They were laughing. There were people nearby, smiling. It was all emotion and no detail – not a single face, place, or voice, was clear – but they knew for sure what the dream had consisted of.

Es was with their family. 

They choked out another sob. 

For the longest time, they wondered if they even had a past to remember. But that was all foolishness – Milgram was in the business of judging humans, not creating them out of thin air. They’d tried asking Jackalope, once. He turned out just as cryptic as some of the prisoners in their interrogations. Another time, they had considered using the prison’s mysterious machine on themself. There was no way to operate it alone, though. And when it came down to it, they were always alone.

They curled themself tight, dragging the bedsheets with them. Usually when they wondered about their past, mere curiosity washed over them. Now, they were flooded with an entirely new type of longing. It filled their chest. No, that wasn't it. Rather, the feeling left a wide hole through them.

If they did have a family, had Es been stolen away? Could there be someone else out there right now, crying in the middle of the night, just as hard as Es was crying for them? The thought was not comforting.

Or, like Es, had they forgotten all traces of their connection? That possibility also did more harm than good.

Es tried to reassure themself – if this family hadn’t come looking for them, maybe it meant they weren't wanted in the first place. Maybe Es had been willingly turned over to Milgram, their parents glad to be rid of them.

That thought didn't help at all.

Something clattered out in the corridor. That must have been what woke them. They rose from bed, ready to raise hell. How dare one of the prisoners rip them from such a dream. Es could never return. The offender would pay for this. 

It took only a moment to put on their uniform and wipe the tears from their cheeks. They swung the door open to find Haruka stumbling down the hall. 

“Prisoner number one, what the –” they grabbed his arm. Only then did they notice the dazed look in his eyes. His body flinched, waking from what must have been sleepwalking.

“Ah! W-warden!” He blinked, his mind still stuck somewhere else. “I’m s-sorry! What, ah… I was dreaming... She was – she was right here…”

Es took a measured breath. They steeled their expression. There would be no unleashing hell tonight. They had lost sight of their role. They had gotten distracted with childish emotions and silly dreams. They were Milgram’s warden, not some kid like Haruka who wandered around the prison late at night looking for his mama. 

Es adjusted the hat over their hair. It was good, they told themself, that they couldn't remember a thing from the dream. They didn't need any of those people. They were perfectly fine on their own. Such a distraction would not happen again.

“Let’s get you back to bed.”

“But, my p-parents, they were–”

“They’re not here. Nobody is. Back to your cell, prisoner.”

[nomattertheoceans]

I've been reading the Percy Jackson books for the first time over the past two weeks! Just finished "The Battle of the Labyrinth" last night (which btw is my favorite of the series so far!!)

I have now gained a new obsession but it might not be what you think

[ratajota]

oh i wish everyone felt the way i feel about things that i like. that's why i paint anyway, raw obsession about things is what made me a painter. to try to translate/exorcise whatever was overpowering my brain into something tangible. i used to be obsessed with Love (and the lack of it) for a few years

[wildsaltair]

Russell Crowe as Egan // The Silver Brumby (1993)

[localcryptideli]

You know sometimes I think that the reason I stopped being on the sokai ship online is that the reasons why I think the ship is nice are so separate and different from how I see most people interpreting the characters and wanting the ship to be that it just loses all appeal to me.

[torchickentacos]

[seaofreverie]

You ever finish a drawing that you really like and then you spend the next three days randomly looking at it for minutes at a time like that could make it possible for you to absorb its alluring and magnetic essence with your eyes

[strangerwheelerthings]

The Snowball Dance

Unfortunately, it took me a while before Nancy became my favorite character, but one of the most important scenes towards that jump in ranking was the Snowball Dance, when she asked Dustin to dance with her. First off, it's already kind of sweet that she was willing to be a chaperone at the dance in the first place. However, it’s that simple act of kindness that really lets her character shine.

Nancy was friends with the party, sometime before season one. She has genuine relationships with all the boys, even though insecurity and other teenager-doms have distanced them. Even though she no longer talks to them much, she still cares a lot. She notices them, and pays attention to their feelings. When Nancy caught sight of Dustin’s dejection, she didn’t just smile encouragingly, or go over to give him some sort of pep talk. She had far too much empathy for the reality of his situation for that. Nancy was a social outcast without many friends herself. She genuinely felt for him in that moment, and understood. It wasn’t pity that moved her, but compassion. 

Still, sitting and comforting him would have been an act of compassion in and of itself. Nancy asked him to dance instead. She kept in mind how it might have looked to his peers, and decided to attempt to use that in his favor instead of invoking pity; a pretty older girl wanted to dance with him. 

It's such a simple scene with no real hidden layers, which makes it hard to really dissect. But that same concept could have been handled in a hundred different ways without it being so pure and good as it was. Nancy could have come across as kind of uncomfortable with it, instead of being so focused on him. She didn’t have to be so sweet as she gently taught him on how to dance with a girl more naturally and less awkwardly. She wasn’t exactly sure what to say to make him feel better, but everything she did say was genuine. She kept it lighthearted, but I think she really believed everything she said; he was her favorite of Mike's friends, and he really would capture some girls hearts when he grew up.

She then proceeded to make sure he had a genuinely good time, laughing and joking with him.

The Heart of Nancy Wheeler Masterpost