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probably-writing-x · 3 months

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All The Firsts (Part 3)

Summary: So, could you write something about the reader being in her first relationship with spider (hbh) and her being worried about how she’s new at this?

Warnings: Drinking, mentions of drugs, cursing, some sexual references and hints but no actual smut (UNLESS THIS IS SOMETHING WE WANT IN PART 4????), mentions of anxiety

Word Count: 7.9k

Author’s Note: Okay I LOVE writing this series and I love the love i’m getting on it!! I’m already setting up for part 4 - please let me know what y’all want to see in that part and whether we’re wanting smut or not <3

“Alright, well, we’re going to leave before this gets any more awkward than it is,” Amerie grimaces, reaching for Harper and dragging her by the wrist to get out of the room.

Missy scoffs and mutters something incoherent under her breath before standing up from the bed and following the girls out of the door. Her eyes linger on Spider as she walks past and you feel your stomach turn.

He pushes into the room and the door shuts swiftly behind him, Spencer taking a spot on the bed opposite you where Missy had just been sat.

“What’s going on? Why are you upset?” He frowns, reaching out for your hands just as you draw them into you, folding your arms over your torso. His hands fall just in front of his lap, like he’s not sure where they should be if they’re not holding yours.

“I-“ You clear your throat, trying to stop the emotion from taking over.

This was Spencer. You could be annoyed at him. You’d done it before.

“What did you say to Missy about me when you two were dating?”

“Wh-“ He exhales, scanning your face as if wishing you would tell him more, “What do you mean? I probably said a lot of things I-“

“About me,” You say abruptly, “What did you say to her about me?”

He visibly shifts at the change in your tone, like this is no longer him trying to comfort you and instead him trying to fix whatever damage he’d done.

“I said a lot of stuff about you, in fact, she got annoyed about me talking about you so much,” He half-laughs like he hopes it will brighten your spirits, “We argued about it, actually. About how I spoke about you too much.”

“And in that argument you told her that you felt sorry for me,” You bite through the words, feeling the same bubbling sickness rise through you, “You told her you’d never see me like that. And then you told her you feel fucking sorry for me. So is that what this is Spencer? Is this you just feeling fucking sorry for me?”

You stand up from the bed and try to fight back the tears brewing in your eyes, taking a deep breath to try to suppress any spilling emotion. Your back is to him now and it feels easier to deal with when you weren’t looking at those eyes.

“Sorry for you?” He breathes out, “Do you think that’s what I’m doing? That me kissing you was just some sort of pity party?”

You bite your lip to stop it from shaking, feeling the looming presence of him stood just two feet behind you.

“You think that when I kissed you, when I told you how long I’ve been waiting to do that, when I told you I want to be with you,” He steps forward, “You think all of that was just some fucked up version of charity?”

You glance upwards into the mirror over the sink in the bedroom and watch as he steps closer to you once more. His hand reaches forward and pulls down one of your arms, gently, letting your arm fall to the side before lacing his fingers with yours.

“(Y/n) you shouldn’t ever think that,” He clenches his jaw and unclenches it like he too is trying to stop himself from getting emotional.

“Then what did you say to her?” You half-whisper the words, letting out a shaky breath alongside them.

He guides you around to face him, his hand only momentarily leaving yours, “I told her that I wished you spent more time with us. I kept telling her how everyone would love you and nobody got to see it because you never came out with us, never came to parties, nothing. And when she asked me why I cared about you so much I just told her it was because I’d known you the longest. And when she got jealous I told her I’d never seen you like that. Not that I never would. And, in fact, I think that’s one of the few things I lied to her about. I’m not sure when I’d first seen you like this (Y/n) but it sure as hell wasn’t just last weekend, I just needed that weekend to wake me up to it, that’s all.”

You smile just a little and then look down from him like you’re ashamed to admit to it.

Spencer moves his hand to tilt your chin up to his, smiling down at you until his expression reflects on your own features, “It’s you, (Y/n). Nobody comes close.”

With that, he cups your cheeks into his hands and kisses you with the most gentle, sincere touch that he can muster. It’s sweet and soft and yet reminds you in his contact that he really meant the words, like a seal of approval.

“Please don’t let Missy upset you like that, okay?” Spencer sighs as he pulls away from you, “She’s just…”

“I know,” You say, leaning forward to rest your forehead on his chest, “I know.”

The pounding in your head seems to settle then, slowing against the beat of his heart. And you do believe him, of course you do. But part of you wanted to forget that anything with him and Missy had ever happened. You wanted to forget that they’d ever been together, that she ever knew the parts of him that you knew. You wanted to forget it all.

———

Later that night, Spencer tells you that everyone’s meeting outside for a bonfire. The teachers weren’t going to be there and Ant and some of the other boys had managed to get enough beers for everyone. You still didn’t feel one hundred percent after what had happened with Missy but the worst thing you could do would be to sit in the room knowing that she and everyone else was out. You wouldn’t be able to get the thought of the two of them out of your head.

Spencer holds your hand as you walk through to the clearing in the forest, everyone already mingling around the space. Your friends are sat huddled together on one side of your view - evidently uninterested in making small talk with everyone else there. They look over at you and down to where Spencer’s hand is in yours as if it’s the strangest thing they’ve seen. As if it still didn’t make sense. On the far side of the fire is all of Spencer’s friends, all of them loud and shouting at each other as one of them is downing a drink from a can. And on the other side, Harper, Amerie, Darren, Cash and Quinn. They’re chatting amongst themselves, all laughing at something Cash had just said.

“Come on, let’s get a drink,” Spencer encourages, squeezing your hand gently.

“Um, can I catch up with you in a minute? You can go see the boys,” You smile up at him, squeezing his hand back.

“Yeah, sure,” Spencer nods, letting your hand go as he goes to walk over to the guys.

He glances back, expecting to see you walking towards your friends but frowning a little when he sees you instead walk over to Harper’s group.

“Hey!”

You don’t even have to speak before they all part ways to let you into the group, Amerie and Harper smiling at you brightly as Harper greets you.

“You all know (Y/n), right?” Amerie looks at the rest of them, “She’s in our dorm this week.”

“Yeah we’ve got chemistry together, I think,” Cash mentions, “You’re the one that knows all the answers.”

You laugh, crossing your arms in front of you as if trying to shrink away from the overwhelming attention.

“I love your jacket, (Y/n), how opposed are you to sharing clothes with people you’ve just spoken to?” Darren smiles, taking a sip of their drink.

“Only a little opposed, maybe get a few drinks in me and ask me again,” You joke, trying to relax into their company.

“Okay, I’m only going to ask once,” Amerie squeezes your arm, “Is everything okay with you and Spider?”

You let out a deep breath, “Yeah, yeah I think so.”

You glance over your shoulder, over to where Spencer is stood chatting with his friends. He glances over at you too and his face seems to light up in the flicker of the bonfire flame when he sees your eyes on his. He frowns a little at the sight of the group you were stood with but you shrug a little and he smiles. You’re the one that looks away first.

“(Y/n) they’re getting a drink, do you want one too?” Quinn speaks up to ask you, smiling brightly.

You turn back to the group and smile, feeling a little more yourself around them.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see your old friends. It was just that something felt a little restricted with them now that they knew you were with Spencer. They weren’t outwardly judging you but you could tell there were conversations going on behind your back. Like they saw you as someone new now. Like you weren’t the person they’d known. And it worried you that they weren’t just happy to see you happy. Instead, they were watching on as if waiting for it to go wrong. Like this would all be something that they could laugh at you for in a years time. Do you remember that weird time when you started dating Spider?

“Come on (Y/n), what’s your drink of choice?” Amerie links her arm with yours and you feel yourself relax even more into the company of the group.

———

A little while later, the groups seem to be combining more so and you end up blended with the boys’ group as Ant comes to find Harper. Everyone settles onto makeshift log seats around the bonfire and you watch Spencer walk over to seek you out amongst the group.

“Do you mind if I sit here, Darren?” Spider asks, smiling awkwardly in a way you rarely saw from him.

Darren looks up and scrunches their face in disgust, “Why are you being like … polite?”

The boys laugh and all yell incoherent mumblings about Spider being a changed man. You look up at him and try to fight back the smile on your face, laughing a little at his evident discomfort.

“Look, if (Y/n)’s going to be a good influence, please god make the most of it,” Darren rolls their eyes at you, “But just warning you she’s way too good for you.”

Spencer scoffs and sits down beside you on the log, “Yeah, I’m well aware.”

You nudge at his side just gently as if ensuring that he knew that wasn’t true and Spencer rests an arm over your thigh, drawing you close to him.

“How’s your night been?” He asks you quietly, like he wants to preserve the conversation for only your ears.

“Good,” You smile softly, “I’ve had maybe… one too many drinks.”

He chuckles, brushing a lock of hair away from your face, “Are you cold?”

You shake your head, “Beer blanket.”

“Ahh,” Spider nods knowingly, “Well tell me when that wears off.”

You tap your cup against his in a cheers and avert your attention back to the group, everyone bustling in separate conversations as the last few stragglers join the circle. Your friends had already left, you hadn’t seen them go.

“Alright, truth or dare?” Ant suggests, cracking open another beer can and pouring half of it into his cup and half into Harper’s, “Unless anyone has any other suggestions?”

“How about never have i ever?” Missy cocks a brow, her attention seemingly focused completely on you as she speaks, though her eyes scan over everyone as if seeking out a reaction.

“Yeah, why not?” Spencer clears his throat, his arm still on your thigh, his fingertips brushing the bare skin of your legs.

You glance at him and he smiles at you, so strangely innocent compared to the venom that he seemed to inject into those words. You lean into him just a little more and he relaxes into your touch.

“Okay, never have I ever…” Sasha begins slowly, eyes scanning the circle, “Done shrooms.”

At least half of the circle all drink, Spencer taking a sip from his cup too. He rolls his eyes at the question. You remember him mentioning after the last school trip here that they’d all taken something. He’d told you all about it the week after.

“Never have I ever…” Ant begins this time, “Got with two people in the same night.”

You watch as a few people around the circle drink. Spencer doesn’t, instead just swirling the liquid around his cup in his free hand.

“Really?” You speak quietly, looking up at him with raised brows.

He laughs as he looks at you, “Yeah, you surprised?”

“No, no,” You shake your head, “Well, a little.”

“Not for lack of trying, right Spider?” Missy speaks up from over the circle, tilting her head as if examining the two of you.

“Cut it out, Missy,” Spider returns, taking another swig of his drink.

“Hey, (Y/n), you haven’t drank yet,” Missy points out, frowning exaggeratedly as if wanting to remind you that she meant it mockingly, “Let’s give you an easy one - Never have I ever… lost my virginity.”

You could easily lie. Take a sip of your drink and roll your eyes at her like it was nothing. But you think about it for a second too long. And, before you know it, it feels like everyone’s eyes are on you - waiting for you to take a sip.

“No drink? You can’t-“ Missy stops her words to laugh outwardly, “You’re not a virgin are you?”

“She doesn’t have to play your shitty little game,” Spider speaks up, his voice raised in the way he knew would make people listen, “How about you cut the bullshit, yeah?”

“Is there something your precious little girlfriend needs to tell us, Spider?” Missy pouts, “Or am I still the only girl you can get it up for?”

The group seems to wince in chorus, all murmuring under their breath words that you couldn’t hear. You don’t look at any of them, not sure where to place your eyes that wouldn’t make you instantly embarrassed. More so than you already felt.

“Stop being such a bitch Missy, seriously,” Amerie speaks up to defend you, “(Y/n) doesn’t need to get caught in the crossfire of whatever unresolved shit you and Spider have.”

“I’ll leave it if he answers the question,” Missy shrugs, “What will it be, Spider?”

It’s like the conversation is happening to you, like you’re powerless to respond, just watching it unfold. This was all too much. How had it got to this already?

“Go fuck yourself Missy,” Spencer spits the words at her, his jaw clenching, his arm unmoving from your thighs, “How about you worry about yourself rather than trying to ruin my relations-“

You stand up from the log quickly, the blood rushing to your head as you do, your heart pounding to keep up with your instinctive thoughts. You couldn’t hear this any longer. You couldn’t do this another minute. You had to get away. And your feet are hurrying you away before your mind has a chance to catch up.

There are the sounds of feet chasing after you and part of you wishes it won’t be Spider. You couldn’t deal with him just yet. He’d be angry and annoyed and he’d be talking about Missy. And he’d be trying to make you feel better by making her sound worse.

“(Y/n)!”

It’s Amerie that calls out to you and you stop in your tracks to turn around. Her and Harper were the ones following after you, smiling reassuringly when your eyes meet theirs.

“Good shit walking away,” Amerie grins, linking her arm with one of yours as Harper does the same on the other side of you, “I’d have swung for her.”

“Yeah don’t listen to Missy, trust me, she’s just trying to find shit to mess up,” Harper encourages, “Like seriously, she should’ve stopped talking before she’d even started.”

You laugh a little and continue the walk with them towards your cabin. The tension in your body seems to have relaxed walking alongside them, feeling like you had at least two people that were on your side. Two people that were rooting for you.

They walk with you all the way back to the room and then the three of you flop down onto your mattress on the bottom bunk, all leaning back against the wall in the squashed space.

“God, I’m starting to wish I’d never gone tonight,” You groan, resting your head back against the wall, closing your eyes to try to ease the drilling headache that hadn’t subsided.

“No, you know what? It’s good you went,” Amerie encourages, “Missy was going to be saying shit whether you were there or not and at least her seeing you with Spider should prove to her that he’s not hers to claim anymore.”

You nod, “Yeah, maybe. I’d just rather not be there when she’s saying all that shit about me.”

Harper laughs, “She’d talk shit about anyone Spider liked, you’re just getting caught in the crossfire between those two.”

“Yeah, right? What the hell is that?” You groan, “I feel like a spare part or something.”

“Those two hate each other these days,” Harper explains, “Ever since they broke up, maybe even before they broke up. Trouble is, I think part of Missy just hoped that would change. You being with Spider has just made her realise that might not be so possible anymore.”

“I never meant to get in the middle of anything like that,” You shake your head, “As far as I was aware they were fully over. Spencer didn’t tell me he was seeing anyone, that he liked anyone, nothing.”

“They are over,” Amerie reminds you, “Missy’s just going to do whatever she can to make this hell for you.”

“I’m starting to wish Spencer was still just the boy that drove me to school every morning,” You mumble the words like you don’t want to admit that they’re true, “It was so much easier when we were just friends, when I was invisible.”

“You like him, right?” Harper nudges your side and waits for you to nod in agreement, “Then that’s all you need to know.”

You go back to resting your head against the wall and the two girls lean in to rest their heads on your shoulders, trying to inject some of their confidence and reassurance into your uncertain nerves.

“Speaking of which…” You can practically feel Amerie’s face curl into a smile, “We’ve been dying to know the story with you two! Because, no offence girl, but you seriously surprised us all with that one. Spencer White?! How did it happen?”

You laugh and it feels like the first time you’ve spoken all day without feeling like something was restricting your throat. It’s the first time you’ve been able to talk about Spider without feeling like you were being judged for everything you said. The girls made you feel welcome, made you feel heard and seen and like you weren’t just an accessory on Spencer’s arm. They gasp when you tell them how he kissed you, and they joke that you must be thinking of a different guy when you tell them how sweet he is. Your heart swells when you talk about Spencer and your headache eases, relaxing into the idea that you could be with him and he could be with you and nothing else needed to matter.

It was a nicer feeling.

———

Missy didn’t sleep in your dorm last night. You assumed she’d gone to stay in one of the other girls’ rooms. Maybe with Sasha. Although your stomach churned when the nightmare scenario entered your mind that she had instead stayed with Spencer. You ignore it. He would never.

There was a text on your phone from him when you woke up.

Morning x Hope you slept okay <3

You smile and stuff your phone into the pocket of your cargos, wearing one of Spencer’s baggy t-shirts over the top that seemed to drown out your figure. It still smelt like him.

The girls walk down to breakfast with you and the canteen is already full of everyone getting their food. Some eyes fall on you as you walk into the room but it’s less judging this time - more sympathetic. Some of them even smile at you, like they’re trying to tell you they didn’t agree with what had happened last night. But none of them had stood up for you - like only now were they realising they probably should have.

You join the queue to get your food and drag the tray across the countertop, stopping every so often to pick up something else.

“Hey, the others are over there,” Harper points out to you as her and Amerie walk over to the table where Darren, Cash and Quinn were sat.

“Be there now,” You smile, pouring yourself a cup of water from a heavy plastic jug.

“(Y/n),” Its Spencer that comes up behind you, not reaching out to touch you but close enough that it seemed he wanted to.

“Morning,” You smile, “Sleep well?”

“Uh-“ He scratches the back of his neck, “Yeah, I did, did you?”

“Not bad,” You shrug, “I’m going to sit with Harper and Amerie, catch you after breakfast?”

“Wh-“ Spencer half laughs like he’s not sure what to do with himself, “Don’t you want to talk about last night? I mean, you seemed pretty mad when you walked off and I think I should at least explain myself and we-“

You lean up onto your tiptoes and press a quick kiss to his lips, the tray of your food bumping against both of you in the restricted space, “I’m starving, and we can chat later, yeah?”

Spencer looks at you and then looks over at the group waiting for you to sit down, “(Y/n) are you sure you’re okay?”

“Of course,” You smile, “See you in a bit.”

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to speak to Spencer. Maybe part of you just hoped that all of this would be forgotten if you just moved on from it. You wouldn’t have to feel that sickness in your stomach that came when you spoke about Missy. You wouldn’t have to admit how embarrassed you were to be caught in the middle of all of that. You wouldn’t have to tell him that you were worried he wasn’t over her. You could just be his girlfriend again. You two could go back to how you were and Missy wouldn’t be so much as a mention in your conversations. That felt easier. Maybe it wasn’t the best way of dealing with things, but it’s what felt right for now.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Darren asks as you sit down with a bright smile as if reassuring you.

“I’m okay,” You nod, “Kind of ready for this trip to be over if I’m honest.”

“You and me both,” Cash laughs.

———

Today, you had to do some sort of orientation task through the forest. The group trudged through the beaten path through the trees as your teacher rattled on about the importance of staying together and listening to the instructions clearly. You were sure everyone had stopped listening a while back.

“(Y/n), you can come with us!” Harper encourages you, “Promise to not let you get lost.”

You laugh, “Yeah, I’ll do the same. Thanks girls.”

The two of them seemed to have taken you under their wing instantly. Like they saw you were swimming out of your depth and both threw you a life jacket.

“So, you’re smart at like everything else, how are you at reading a map?” Amerie asks.

“Hate to burst your bubble girls-“ It’s Spider speaking from beside you, his head lowering to your shoulder so that his words were spoken directly next to you, “But (Y/n)’s with me.”

“Yeah, she’ll never make it out here if that’s the case,” Amerie scoffs, folding her arms over her chest.

Spencer rests an arm over your shoulders and glances down at you before looking back to the other two, “No, I wouldn’t make it out of here. She’s my only hope.”

“Surprised Missy isn’t rushing after you to team up,” Harper cocks her head, “She can’t seem to get enough of you.”

You look up at Spencer and watch as he narrows his eyes at the girls, like he’s assessing how much he can say without annoying them further.

“I hope she does get lost out here,” He states clearly, “It would do us all a favour.”

“Hmm, he almost sounds like he means it (Y/n),” Amerie smiles at you, “Just shout if you need us, we’ll rescue you if he can’t.”

With that, they leave the both of you to it and Spencer tightens his arm around you, drawing you into his chest. You groan as your head collides with him, his other arm wraps around you too.

“Ready to get lost in the forest?” He asks you, his chin resting on top of your head.

You pull away just enough that you can look up to him, “Didn’t the boys want to go with you?”

“Yeah,” Spencer shrugs, “And I wanted to go with you.”

You take the map from his hands as the other pairs seem to scatter off amongst the trees, all eyeing up different directions.

“We don’t need that,” Spencer takes it back from you, stuffing it into his back pocket, “Come on.”

“Wh-“ You stumble to keep up with him as he laces his fingers with yours, leading you through the dense trees, “Spec where are we going? We’re meant to-“

“Oh they won’t miss us, I’ll make sure we’re back by the time they notice we’re gone,” He encourages, looping your interlocked hands over your head so that his arm now sat back around your shoulders too.

For a short while, the two of you walk together. His arm stays around you, your fingers still interlocked with his. The noise of the other students starts to drown out the further away you get and it seems somewhat poetic to the bigger picture - when you and Spencer were together it still felt like nothing else mattered. Like no other stories and no other gossip could get in the way. You fell back into the reasons your heart swelled the way it did when he first kissed you.

“So, are you going to talk to me now?” Spencer nudges your side just a little.

“Wh-“ You look up at him, “What are you talking about? I’m not not talking to you.”

“You’re talking to me, but not about what we should be talking about,” Spencer points out, directing the two of you towards a rock overlooking where the trees start to dip downhill.

The two of you sit down and both of your hands return to yourselves. Like you’re somewhat shy around each other.

“There really is nothing to talk about, Spence, I don’t know what there is to say.”

“There’s plenty to say!” He half-laughs, “You’re telling me from all of last night there’s nothing you want to say?”

“I don’t-“ You stop yourself, swallowing the lump in your throat, “It hasn’t even been a week Spencer, I don’t want us to argue, okay?”

“Hey,” His voice softens, shifting so that he is looking more directly at you, “We’re not arguing. I just need you to talk to me about how you felt last night.”

“You just… you have this thing with Missy. Like you two can’t be in the same room without it being obvious. Like, okay, imagine two magnets. And they’re both North magnets so they just repel each other. They’re not joined but they’re still magnetic. So they’re repelling but there’s still something in that - something connecting them, tying them to each other. That’s how it feels seeing you and Missy. I know you two aren’t together, I know you don’t want to be with her. But there’s just this thing between you two. And I saw you last night and just thought … I’m not her, and I can’t be her. I’m not confident like she is, I’m not going to yell at you or have a screaming match with you. I don’t want any of that.”

“And you think that’s what I want?” Spencer frowns sincerely like a realisation is dawning on him, “(Y/n), there’s a reason that Missy and I aren’t together, okay? There’s a reason that relationship ended, there’s a lot of reasons. I don’t want you to be a replacement for her. In fact, that’s the exact opposite of what I want. This thing between me and Missy it’s just… it’s exes. We hate each other, that’s never really going to change.”

“But I don’t…” You feel your voice crack, your bottom lip trembling, “I don’t have any of that. I don’t know what it’s like. And I just… I��m worried I can’t be enough for you.”

“Enough for me?” He says the words like they’re venom on his tongue, like it convulses his stomach to even think of questioning that, “(Y/n) how can I prove to you that you are?”

You shake your head as two tears spill from your eyes, trailing slowly down your cheeks.

“Okay,” Spencer takes a deep breath and reaches out to take your hand, “Yes, me and Missy dated, she’s my ex. It wasn’t the best breakup and ever since we’ve just argued any chance we got. In fact, we argued just as much when we were together. And when I dated her, I just thought that was normal. It was my first proper relationship - I just thought that’s how it went, that you had to argue to get all of the good parts too. But, I’d argue with Missy one night and then the next morning I’d be waiting in the car to drive you to school. And you’d ask me how my night was and I’d probably just dismiss it, and you’d play your songs and tell me about your weekend and you’d make me laugh and you’d listen to me. And so every time I fought with Missy I’d think, fuck, it’s so much easier to talk to you.”

You look up at him and he smiles when your eyes make contact with his, like it’s a breath of fresh air.

“I don’t need you to be her. Because… the reason I was glad that relationship ended was because I realised that she wasn’t you.”

You let out an exhale as if a thousand weights had been lifted from your shoulders, Spencer’s hand coming up to your cheek to brush the skin there as though stopping any more tears from falling.

“Thank you,” You half-whisper and he smiles, kissing you quickly as if to lock in the moment.

“Just talk to me, okay?” He whispers, kissing you again, more strong and certain this time.

You rest your head on his shoulder and he wraps an arm around you, holding onto you like you were the best thing that had ever happened to him.

———

“Well, you two look like you’ve had fun,” Harper grins when she sees you and Spencer break out into the clearing in the forest.

He’s walking alongside you, his hand in yours, laughing at something you’d said. You smile at her and she gives you a look as if double checking you’re okay, you nod quickly.

“Get lost in the forest, did ya?” Ant wiggles his brows at the two of you.

Spencer steps behind you and wraps his arms around you above your shoulders, your hands resting on his forearms underneath your chin as his chin settles on top of your hair.

“We just…” You run your fingers along the skin of his arms, “Went for a walk.”

“Yeah I bet you did,” Ant winks and it’s evident what he’s insinuating.

Maybe him thinking that was easier than you telling him about the conversation you’d just had. He could believe what he wanted to believe.

“Party in the boys cabin later?” Amerie rushes over, grinning at Spider like she’s hoping he’ll agree with her.

“No pissing, no vomit, no spilling drinks,” Spider reaches out one arm to point at her as if directing his concerns to only her.

“Deal.”

Ant goes on to talk about who would be coming and points out that there were certain people he’d rather not be there. He smiles at you as if trying to make you feel welcome, like he’s assuring you he too hated what happened last night. That he, just as much as you, didn’t want it to happen again.

———

That night, you go over to the boys room and the doors already open. The guys are all there, Quinn, Darren and Cash too, and a few others you still weren’t sure of the names of. You, Amerie and Harper walk in and Ant shuts the door behind you.

“There she is,” Spencer grins when he sees you, “I was just talking about you.”

“All good I hope,” You cock a brow at him as you walk over to where he’s speaking to Cash and Darren.

“These two were just asking me of my … intentions,” He comments, wrapping an arm around your waist, “I wasn’t aware they cared so much about your relationships.”

“Someone’s got to look out for her now she’s with you,” Darren jokes, “And we’re always watching.”

“Noted,” Spencer nods and then looks down at you and smiles again, “Want a drink?”

“Yes please.”

Everyone manages to squeeze into the condensed space as people occupy spaces on the floor, you and Spencer take a spot on his bed, sat close beside each other as three other people managed to squeeze into the space beside you. Missy wasn’t here - thankfully. And you overheard Quinn saying that she was staying in their room with Sasha tonight instead. Thankfully.

Everyone was passing round bottles of liquor and trying to think of games to play and talking over each other and you just sort of let it all happen around you. You liked this group, as much as you felt different to them. They were friendly and welcoming and they didn’t judge you like you thought they would. In fact, it seemed they were happy to see Spencer with you. Like they were looking forward to him having a good influence.

“Hey,” Spencer nudges your side, “Do you want to get out of here?”

“Wh-“ You look at him and frown, “We don’t have to, I don’t mind staying.”

“But you’d rather go,” Spencer points out and waits as if he’s making sure you don’t dispute it, “Come on.”

He takes your hand in his and both of you stand up from the bed, trying to step your way through the bodies of people sat on the floor. They start to protest about you leaving, complaining that you two were boring and that they were offended you didn’t enjoy their company. One of them makes a joke about Spider being wifed off. But Spencer opens the door, sticks a middle finger up to all of them and then closes it behind you.

“Come on, we can go to my cabin,” You say, your hand still interlocked with his as the two of you walk the short distance across the complex to get to your room.

It’s empty, of course. Missy was in Sasha’s room and Harper and Amerie were still with the boys. Spencer locks the door behind both of you and breathes a sigh of relief.

“Just us,” He smiles lightly, his hands reaching out for your waist.

You hum in agreement and lock your hands behind his neck, Spencer taking steps to walk you backwards towards the bed. It’s awkward and stumbling when you get there, however, as you duck down to avoid hitting your head on the bunk on top. He stumbles to stop himself from falling too, tightening his grip on your waist.

“Well that was meant to be more romantic than that,” Spencer grimaces, dropping down onto you on the mattress.

You laugh and run a hand through his hair as he pushes up onto his elbows.

“It’s better when it’s just us,” He mumbles, leaning down and kissing you again.

You hum against his lips and keep your hand in his hair as he deepens his connection against you, his body shifting to hover over you, friction increasing between you both. He moves a hand to snake around your back, pressing against the skin to draw more of you into him, lips parting yours for his tongue to dominate. You move a hand to his shoulder and grip at the material of his t-shirt and Spencer pulls away from you.

“We don’t have to-“ He swallows the lump in his throat, catching his breath, “We don’t have to do anything.”

“No,” You reply quickly, “I want to.”

“(Y/n), you don’t have to say that I-“

“I’m not just saying it,” You assure him, “I just… I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do.”

Spencer smiles softly, “Okay, we can take as long as we need. There’s no rush.”

He leans in to kiss you again, starting softly before getting to be more sure of himself, hand gripping your waist and kneading the skin there.

You weren’t anxious like you thought you would be. In fact, it was anticipation more than anything. And you felt safe knowing it was Spencer with you, in any lifetime you’d want it to be him.

———

The following morning, you wake up with Spencer’s arms still around you. The two of you are squashed in the cramped space of the single bed, his limbs folded to fit into the space, his breath hot on your neck as he wrapped around you, laying behind you. When you wake up and shift beneath him, he groans at the disruption, tightening his grip around you.

“Not yet,” He grumbles, drawing you into his chest.

“Spence,” You laugh, pushing yourself around to face him, “We need to get up and pack.”

He buries his head into the crook of your neck, sighing into the skin, “Not yet.”

Before you can speak again, there’s a knock at the door followed by a;

“Are you decent?!”

It’s Amerie’s voice.

“Come in,” You laugh, shifting underneath the covers as Spencer still buries his head into you, refusing to move.

The door opens and Harper and Amerie both walk in, still in last nights’ clothes, both of them looking like the hangover had hit.

They look down at the clothes discarded on the floor and then back up to the two of you in bed. You were wearing Spencer’s baggy t-shirt and he was in his boxers, bodies covered by the sheets over you.

“Well looks like you two had a party of your own last night,” Amerie grins, “Now I’m even more glad we stayed in the boys’ room.”

“Yeah good call,” Harper smirks, “We’ve got thirty minutes before we need to leave.”

“Oh, and Spider, I may have spilt vodka over your bag last night…” Amerie winces, “So have fun with that.”

He groans and turns into you even more, his arm draped over your stomach, “Thanks Am.”

The girls open the curtains in the room and he groans again.

“Is that necessary?” He mumbles, propping himself up onto his elbow beside you.

“You should probably go back and start getting your stuff packed,” You point out, “And get showered.”

He tilts his head down to sniff under his armpits, “Are you telling me I stink?”

You laugh and he jabs at your side to tickle you, making you squeal and writhe under his touch.

“God what did you do to this guy (Y/n)?” Amerie scoffs, “You’re a changed man these days Spider.”

He rolls his eyes and leans down to kiss you quickly, “I’ll see you in a bit.”

Spencer rolls over you on the mattress to get out of the bed, standing up and stretching his arms over him, his back muscles shifting and contorting as he does.

You lean up onto your elbows and watch him, “You’re not going out there in your pants are you?”

He turns around and grins, “Don’t worry darling, they can look but they can’t touch.”

You roll your eyes, “Goodbye.”

He grabs his other clothes from the floor and bundles them into his arms, walking out of your room with a yelled ‘goodbye darling’.

“Seriously, what did you do to that guy?” Harper laughs, “He’s like… nice now?”

You laugh, sitting up in the bed, a waft of his aftershave lingering on his top.

“Okay, leaving the party, clothes on the floor, room to yourselves,” Amerie wiggles her brows, sitting down on the mattress opposite you, “What did happen last night?”

“Oh and we want all of the boring details,” Harper grins, sitting beside her, both of them leaning forward in anticipation.

“Well… Ive never actually done that before,” You say, “But Spencer… well he seemed pretty good at it.”

They both squeal and laugh, bursting into a flurry of questions. You feel your heart swell when you talk about him.

———

Everything felt strangely in place now, for the past few weeks at least. You and Spencer had struck up a perfect balance in your relationship. To compromise not seeing each other at lunch, he would get to your house twenty minutes early and have breakfast - or stay there the night before and have breakfast in the morning. You’d go into school and stay with him and his friends until Harper and Amerie came in so you’d part ways and go with them instead. They’d welcomed you into their group without a thought. You’d go to your classes and Spencer went to his. At lunch, you sat with your old friends. They’d been a bit apprehensive about your relationship with Spencer but they could see how happy you were with him and, in fact, he’d even been making an effort to say hello to all of them at least. You’d go to your afternoon classes and then Spencer would meet you from the last one, driving you home or out to somewhere and it was rare the two of you had an evening without each other. It worked. You were happy.

You were in chemistry when the announcement sounded.

“Can the following students please make their way to the principal’s office,” The words came through the speakers, “(Y/n) (Y/l/n), Spencer White, Sasha So and Missy Beckett.”

Amerie frowns at you and you shrug, gathering your things as the teacher dismisses you from your class. Spencer walks out of his own class and meets up with you in the corridor, squeezing your shoulders as he walks behind you.

“Have I finally got you in trouble (y/l/n)?”

You roll your eyes and squeeze his hands over your shoulders, looking back at him, “It was inevitable.”

When you walk into Woodsy’s office she’s sat at her desk, Missy and Sasha stood opposite her already. They both look at you disapprovingly when you walk in.

“Good morning,” Woodsy begins, “Thank you for joining us, you two.”

You and Spencer fall into line beside the other two, everyone looking just as confused as each other.

“Well, I’ve brought you here today because I’ve got a very exciting proposition for you all,” She explains, “We’ve had interest from a local university about offering scholarship programmes to some of our students and you are the lucky four that have been shortlisted.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Sasha laughs, “What did Spider do?”

“Well, the school is considering sporting excellence as well as academic excellence,” Woodsy continues, “And Spencer is one of our talented sportsmen here.”

You look up at him and he leans down to whisper in your ear.

“Didn’t realise you were dating the top jock.”

You laugh and nudge his side, turning your attention back to Woodsy as you ask, “What do we have to do for this scholarship?”

“Well, you’ll be meeting with the scholars from the university and in a few weeks you’ll be presenting to them your ideas for how we can improve an aspect of the school. That could be trips, facilities, classes, anything. You’ll all be working individually and maybe more than one of you will get the scholarship and the opportunity to add a really good trait to your CV,” She explains, “How does that sound?”

“Can we go now?” Missy says bitterly, arms folded as she eyes you and Spencer.

“Not yet, I want the four of you working together on your initial ideas! You guys will be spending a lot of time together over the next few weeks and I want all of you to be successful.”

“Brilliant,” Missy rolls her eyes, “Can’t wait.”

The sarcasm seeps into the air but Woodsy chooses to ignore it, turning back to you and Spencer, “I am aware that you two have recently entered into a… romantic relationship. Do you feel this is going to affect your ability to do this?”

Spencer looks at you and raises his brows, looking back to Woodsy, “Was unaware you followed our personal lives, Miss.”

“Nothing is ever a secret in this school, Spencer.”

“We’ll be fine,” You interject, “We can be professional.”

“Alright, then you’re all free to go. We’ll be meeting today after school for your first session,” Woodsy nods, “I look forward to it! Let me give you these brochures and then you can be off.”

Missy and Sasha walk out first, mumbling between themselves about how it was ridiculous that they had to do this. Missy looks back at you and gives you a glare enough to slice through you. You ignore it.

“So, I think being professional means you’ve got to keep your hands off me, do you think you can manage that?” Spencer grins down at you, walking backwards out of the room as you follow him.

“No, I’m just insatiable,” You roll your eyes sarcastically, “I tell you what, I bet you’ll fold before I do.”

“That sounds like a challenge, (y/l/n).”

“Okay, you have to keep your hands off me whilst we’re in school - as soon as we’re back in these walls you’re back in the friend zone - until this whole thing is over,” You cock a brow.

“Oh it is on, darling,” He narrows his eyes at you, “And what do I get when I win?”

“Anything you want.”

You watch him swallow the thick lump in his throat, clearing it as he taps the brochure onto your forehead, “Done deal.”

Avoiding Spencer, spending all this time with Missy, trying to get this scholarship for college? The next few weeks were surely going to be hell.

———

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