#hearfelt

[maelstrom-of-emotions]

Under The Same Sky

@padfootastic

Sirius after James's death—(I know, I'm sorry. They're both alive in my heart as well)—he's at the funeral and this is the speech he's giving. 

In this AU, Peter was charged and arrested.

This is written in first POV; basically, Sirius talking to James’ grave. Because I need closure. 

Cool? Cool. Let's begin.

────────── ⋅❉⋅ ──────────

No one walks in to be killed with a smile.

Nobody, I suppose, but you, James.

Your smile could kill people, with its beauty, James. The way your hazel eyes would light up whenever you were pleased as though they had captured the molten gold rays of the sun.

Your smile was beautiful. It was a work of art, truly. The eighth wonder of the world. A wonder that the world, and I were permitted to see. A wonder that shall never be seen again.

Your smile will forever live in the letters you've written, and the photos I've taken, but they will never live on you now, will they?

You died with a smile, literally. When I walked into the room, you had a smile of utmost peace. What were you thinking about in your last moments James?

I wish I could ask, just like the old times. Just like yesterday, before you were murdered.

I can still ask.

But, this time, Jamie, you can't answer.

To me, our friendship was magic, James, pure and simple. To a child who has spent his life repenting for the actions of those beyond the grave, it had been a new way of looking at the world.

They say that the world’s most beautiful piece of magic is the very first Hogwarts Letter.

I disagree.

Those crimson-written, perfectly bow-tied letters that you'll never write again were different.

A stern woman with a tight smile did not write them instead, they were written by a boy whose soul seemed to be a gentle blend of light and dark. One so young and old, of harmony and discord, and somehow home to a spirit so young.

I wish I could have run my hand through your hair one last time once more you. Wish I could've smiled at you one last time. I wish I could have told you that I loved you before you...died.

Before you smiled your last smile.

Before you took your last breath.

Before you left us, left me.

Before, before. Isn't it amusing, Jamie, that whenever we look back, we see time frozen and still? We capture it in little words and phrases: before, back then, back in my days, those days, remember the times— as if the only way to let a moment stay is to label and distill it. Capsulize, crystallize, and classify it all. And it stays there all organized on the timeline in preciseness. Like a bookshelf.

Like your bookshelf.

I remember the first time I saw your family tree. I remember being stunned by the fact that it was a real tree, a tree that bloomed fruits.

The gold fruits were for those in your family who are among us, who live, breathe, and laugh because they're Potters'. And that's what Potters' do. That's what we do.

Or what we used to do.

I remember the tsunami of sorrow that had crashed into you, into me, into us, the day we found out that your parents died. We both felt disbelief when we found that their fruits had turned silver.

You touched the crystal apple and cherry with such tenderness that day as if you were afraid that one small touch would break it. I was afraid that you would break.

I'm afraid to go see the tree, because I know I'll see that silver mango hanging from that tree. And I'm afraid that when I do, I'll snap. Because that would mean, that you're really gone James, and I just can't accept that.

'Denial is not a good look on you, Padfoot,' that's what you would say if you were here. But, that's the problem, isn't it? You're not here when you're supposed to be.

Because you're dead.

You were my blue crayon, the one I never had enough of, the one I use to color my sky.

The one that's not in my crayon box anymore.

[cartoonoracle]

A Thought

I Feel a deep longing to free me from myself.

[saexy]

I HATEEE MY MOVIE CHOICEs

[itstimeforstarwars]

Calling to talk to someone only for the secretary to say they're not in is both a relief and kinda hilarious. Sir I had this extremely heartfelt statement that I memorized to make to you but I know Deborah is writing my message on a post it note. I'm just giving her the straight facts in my clearest diction. Thanks.

[hearts401]

Tttb!Gregory chewing out Michael before immediately deciding to bully him for having a crush is so real me too Greg

[mariafraniayu]

A Heartfelt Andante

Webtoon: A Heartfelt AndantePenulis: Na YoonheeEpisode: 70 Cukup menantang untuk menemukan cerita yang dapat menyebabkan hati hangat dan terus terngiang-ngiang dengan setiap scene dan dialog yang ditunjukkan dalam cerita di Webtoon. Juga, sebuah keberuntungan untuk menemukan cerita “A Heartfelt Andante” ini. Mengambil cerita yang terinspirasi dari musik, alur cerita yang disuguhkan oleh penulis…

[granonine]

Blessings on the Righteous

Psalm 112:4-7. Unto the upright there ariseth light in the darkness: he is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous. A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with discretion. Surely he shall not be moved for ever: the righteous shall be in everlasting remembrance. He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD. It is…

[zooophagous]

There is no form of fan art so hearfelt and so beautiful as that of a parent or grandparent creating bootleg designs or toys of their children's most beloved characters because the licensed official things could not be afforded

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Bobby is just so. Stressed tm. He just wants to retire and be a farmer. Why is that what he can't get.

emps: roboute, my beloved son

rowboat: 🥺 yes father?

emps: i have a grave duty for you

rowboat: 🥹 yes father!

emps: recent events have caused me to revise our…stance on xenos

rowboat: ah.

rowboat: of course i understand, father

rowboat: i confess i had my doubts, but against all odds the benefits of our alliance with the szarekh dynasty far outweigh the costs

rowboat: and if I may…sanguinius has more than earned his current happiness. he carried one of the heaviest burdens during the civil war and rose to the challenge

emps: yes, exactly, that’s why you’re going to marry a representative from each craftworld

rowboat:

rowboat: i’m what—

SUMMER SEASON 30024: THE LONG AWAITED ADAPTATION OF THE BELOVED LIGHT NOVEL SERIES!!!

My Father Turned My Life Into A Harem Anime And I Hate Every Second Of It!

[karlachismylife]

Don't You Forget About Me

Since @killerpancakeburger already had the most perfect Soap idea with this prompt, I decided to sit and think: what would be the situation where Soap actually didn't wanna kiss? Mission imposible?

Well, I might've found the solution.

CW: reader is Soap's mother (literally), so (potentially bad) Scottish yelling and scolding, very silly and unserious, not even pretending to be realistic.

(Title fom a song by Simple Minds)

You were going to give him a piece of your mind alright. He had always been a troublemaker, the sole source of white and grey peppered in your respectable hairbun, but the bare minumum you expected from your eejit of a son was to take your words seriously when you asked not to go to that mission. That one mission, mind you, out of every crazy and dangerous endeavour your Johnny got up to since before he could walk properly (although he skipped the phase entirely, immediately opting to run) - you always supported him and tried to be understanding.

You flicked his nose when he came home dirty after playing football in the rain and prepared warm dinner while he cleaned himself and washed his own clothes like a good boy. You sighed and ruffled what was left of his hair the day he returned with that moronic haircut, beaming like the sun itself. You slapped upside his head and scolded him before pulling out his favourite out of the oven after he was kicked out from whatever military base he tried to sneak into to be like his cousin.

Johnny could call you strict, scary and warn all his mates of you with a shit-eating grin all he wanted, but you were sure you had never given him a reason to believe you would worry over nothing.

"Dinnae fash yersel, Mam," was all you got after a hearfelt and arguemented plea to stay away from trouble this time, along with a kiss on a cheek, and there he went.

Not so fast, John MacTavish.

Of course he got his stubborness and determination to get whatever he wanted from you. The amount of times he ran off before he was of age just to try his luck and get enlisted? The clenching of his proud Scottish jaw as he pushed himself to do better, lift heavier, shoot sharper, run faster? Once Johnny was set on something, he went all-in. Too bad sitting still and quiet in school never got to be one of his priorities even for a week. But that's how you raised him, and if anyone could match him, it was you.

You were suprised how easy it was to bully and bribe your way into the base. Just an unthreatening older woman with some home-cooked pie, already sliced up for the sweet, sweet boys at the entrance.

Och, yer Ma' usually bakes these too? 'N' wi' some carrot? Ye should ask her fur a recipe, leannan, Ah will lea' ye mines sae we can exchange. Ah actually hae mah laddie right there oan th' base, he's a sergeant, aye, mah muckle laddie. Ah wanted tae surprise him wi' his fave', bit didnae ken tis sae secreteve 'ere… Mibbie ye could pass it tae him? Och but it'll get cauld 'n' nasty… Och, ye will let me in fur a few minutes? Well aren't ye th' sweetest wee jimmies. Yer Mams must be proud o' ye, Ah ken Ah'm, knowing such mighty lads are protecting us.

Breaching the first line of defence was a piece of cake - well, pie. The second went even smoother, no one paying attention to you as you simply floated along the perimeter, avoiding miscellaneous looks from busy officers and privates bustling about their day. Hiding in plane sight, not even trying to blend in - you minced in your old trusty shoes up to the big area with several aircrafts scattered around.

Aha. That's your goal. You adjusted your purse on your shoulder and moved to continue your way, when someone finally noticed your unwanted presence.

"Is that a... who the hell let a civilian in the landing zone? Oi! M'am! M'am, stop! M'am, you're not supposed to be here!"

Hearing someone's heavy steps picking up behind your back, you kept your steady stride for a few more moments, eyes scanning the vast plane of the zone, determined to find at least someone you knew - and they you hit jackpot. Loud thumping of helicopter blades, distant at first, grew rapidly, almost deafening at the point when someone's heavy hand grabbed your elbow.

"M'am, are you lost? It's dangerous here! DAN-GE-ROUS!" The officer yelled into your ear, probably both hoping to overpower the landing helicopter and thinking you were old, frail and deaf.

Such a naive lad.

That metal bird barely stopped chirping before you wriggled out of the officer's grasp and sprinted towards several tall figures unloading from the helo. Your target stood straight, big headphones denting his ruffled mohawk, already up for a trimming. He definitely heard the officer's loud yelling, turned around, curious as ever, and locked eyes with you - all laughter wiped off his face immediately, baby blues he inherited from you round and popping out of their sockets.

"Mam?! Wha' are ye doin'-" - "JOHN MACTAVISH! Dinnae "mam" me, ye reckless bampot! Ah didnae raise ye tae be a sleekit potatoe waving yer own mother off!"

You jumped away from the officer who almost caught up with you and used your purse to shield yourself from him, never losing pale and positively terrified and dumbfounded Johnny out of sight.

"Get awa' from me, ye eejit, that's mah son 'n' Ah'm talking tae him! Look at me, Johnny!" You finally reached him and tilted your stern face up, glaring at yout sheepish son. His eyes stopped darting around and snapped directly at you. Still a good boy, after all. "Dae ye hae any idea how worried Ah was? Come 'ere now or Ah will drag ye by yer scruff, Ah swear. Come 'ere!"

You reached up to cup hus face, noticing a fresh bruise and a split brow, your motherly heart aching, but still proud that your wee boy came back from a dangerous operation alive. With teary eyes, you tried to pull him in for a big forgiving smooch, but he finally unfroze and pulled back, slowly starting to go red in his cheeks - so his ears must have been burning for some time already. Still, you looked at him, outraged, and huffed, propping one hand on your hip.

"What? Ah wanntae kiss mah laddie!" You could see Johnny's face flush brighter, mortified expression cut into his pleading eyebrows. He shouldn't have been doing that, that nasty scar was bleeding hardeer, your poor wee boy.

"''ere?! Richt naew?!" Before you could even start scolding him for denying his own mother such a simple thing, someone else's rich voice cut in through barely suppressed laughter.

"Come on, Johnny, tha's no way to talk to your mother. Be a good boy 'n' give 'er a big kiss." Recognizing Ghost from your laddie's tales wasn't hard at all - you met his dark, hooded eyes and gave him a firm, grateful nod, which he reciprocated with a gruff chuckle.

Defeated, Johnny leaned down, sliding his headphones down to his neck, and didn't even hiss as you yanked him by his ear lower to give him a loud, loving smooch on his cheek.

On the way out they sourced four big lads to escort you. As if the whole army would be able to stop you if you decided to give your son a proper whooping.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Sydney is the person this season who receives multiple apologies from Carmy, just like last season when he introduced the sorry sign. He says sorry so easily to Sydney but doesn't give the right apology she deserves.

There are long pauses during moments when he wants to apologize for the poor communication between them. He wants to apologize for being inconsiderate, pushy, and not being a good partner. He knows he needs to apologize for making her feel mentally and emotionally behind him, and for dismissing and undermining her skills.

An episode titled "Apologies" he realized that pushing her away is affecting their relationship. Running away is hurting Sydney. This apology that Carmy knows Sydney needs is the push that makes him want to find closure with Claire and face his regrets about Mikey's death and face how hes been affected during his time at aelventh Madison Park. It makes him want to be honest with himself, honest enough to admit he's running away.

This is what Carmy means when he says Sydney makes him better at this – she makes him a better man, better than Chef David. When he sees how he affects her confidence , he understands that he needs to move forward and be better than Chef David and Donna and give her the real apology for them to move forward.

That hearfelt apology to Sydney is going to be a pivotal moment between them.

[smallvictorianchildwhofoundwifi]

AAHHHHHHHH OMG

Vlad held tightly on Monoma's hand as he whispered his apologies for failing him as a teacher when Monoma revived. WHO SAID THAT-

Also:

I CAN'T NOT WRITE ABOUT THIS (I probably should've cropped to only the students part oops)

Kendo was always a straightforward person who managed to be compassionate and headstrong at the same time, and Yayorozu looked up to Kendo for this reason. She had never seen the fighter so... anxious before. All over the place, incessantly cleaning and shaking like a pile or bones about to fall over. Worst part is she wasn't the only one, most of her classmates of Class B were just as bad.

"Uhm... Kendo?" Yayorozu spoke, hands up like she was trying to calm a dog, "I understand you are anxious for Monoma's return, but I don't think he would appreciate seeing his friends so frazzled because of him." She put her hands atop Kendo's shoulders, attempting to still her in place.

"He- I appreciate your concern Yayorozu, thank you- I do. It's just,, he gets out today and we want to make the place look nice, make him feel comfortable- I don't know." Kendo rattled the words out of her mouth.

"Kendo hun, you can't even speak a proper sentence, you need to sit down a relax- you all do." Yayorozu looked around at the classmates nearby.

"Yeah man!" Kirishima interjected, "I'm sure Monoma would like it MUCH more if you guys were all looking okay when he got back!"

Honenuki looked at the loud man in their common area from where he stood in the kitchen. Kirishima had originally come because of Testsutetsu, but he had left for a bit and told Kirishima to stay down here. It was kind of the man to care about the rest of the class, despite not being close.

"I guess." Honenuki slowed his hands. "But we're mostly doing this because that nerd's a neat freak. Hates when there's dishes in the sink-" he disappeared from sight as he squatted down to grab something from the cabinet "hates when the table starts getting messy from us putting our crap on there-" he rose with a pot in his hand and gestured for Yayorozu to grab some tea, he's heard from Kendo how she loves her tea. "I mean you should see his room! Cleanest one out of all of us."

Tsurabura and Shiozaki stared at Honenuki. As one of Monoma's closest friends, he took the news about Monoma especially hard and has barely spoken the last several weeks, even with the news that Monoma was alive and recovering. They didn't know whether to be surprised or not that the first time he spoke today, it was to call Monoma a nerd and a neat freak.

"Uuh, I could go for some tea!" Tsurabura raised his hand and walked over to the kitchen with Shiozaki behind him.

"Man I didn't know Monoma was so clean! Didn't seem like the type- NOT THat he seems dirty or messy or anything, just that- he-" Kirshima quickly backtracked.

Kendo saved him from continuing, "It surprised all of us too when we moved into the dorms." She didn't care for having any tea but the two of them might stay longer if she didn't. None of Class B really wanted the two there when their classmate arrived, for multiple reasons.

The main reason wasn't that Monoma wouldn't want it- though that was definitely a reason- but actually because no one in class A knew that Monoma had died and came back to life. As far as they were aware, he was in bad condition and had to stay in the hospital a while. No one had the heart or the emotional stability to talk about it, so their Class A friends were left unaware- and when Monoma returned, there was a chance it would be brought up or something that would clue Yaoyorozu and Kirishima in on what had actually happened on the battlefield- and that would be a whole can of worms they didn't want to deal with.

So they made tea, and Kirishima and Yaoyarozu convinced most of the class to have some and calm down, though it didn't help much with their nerves. If anything, being all together in the common area made them more nervous, together but no Monoma. Monoma who died. Monoma who is only coming home today because of sheer chance.

"Thank you so much for the tea Yaoyarozu," Kendo set down her cup "and for being with us this whole time, the two of you. But you really don't need to stay. We'll be fine now."

"Are you sure?" Yaoyarozu put her hand on top of Kendo's and gave a quick glance to the others.

The Class B president gave her friend a smile and put her other hand on Yaoyarozu's.

"Yes."

Sometime after Yaoyarozu and Kirishima left the Class B dorms, saying their goodbyes, everyone was startled at the sound of their dorm doors opening again. Everyone turned their heads to see their homeroom teacher come through the door and stop when he noticed all the stares. A moment passed before the doors opened a bit more and the blond copier walked through them, saying nothing but staring back at all of them.

One moment passed. Then two. Then Tsunotori suddenly got up, leaped over the couch and ran over over to Monoma and hugged him with such force they almost fell over.

The two kneeled down to the ground and stayed there, Tsunotori crying so loudly it could be heard from the floor upstairs. The others ran over as well, letting the tears fall as they finally, finally got confirmation that their friend and classmate was okay. He was alive, is alive.

Okay so I haven't read the manga so I don't know jack, but IMAGINE with me

Monoma died in the war. Not like forever, but like how Bakugo and Uraraka (she died right? Or was close) died. How he came back to life I don't know but IMAGINE

i love this idea, and it is also ruining my life. thank you.

SPOILER WARNING

i legitimately worried that Hori may have killed Monoma off because of how long he was gone. like i heard that he got a statue, and before i saw the actual panels, i thought it was because he had straight up been killed and it was something built for him in memoriam.

that said, i love this concept (and also OUCH).

i image that, in a Monoma death au, he would have been stabbed while being taken down by the twice clones - knife straight through the lung. Monoma would die, and Aizawa would sit there knowing that he dragged two (TWO) children students straight to their deaths. it would be terrible and traumatic and great. it would probably be Copy that brought him back; his own quirk, desperately latching onto another to drag the breath into his lungs.

he wouldn't remember it, not properly. but when Monoma slept, he'd dream about choking on his own blood.

[dgoldhunter]

I'm so done...

Don't get me wrong, I loved many things about apology tour (mainly Verosika) but I was hoping this to be the break from the drama of Stolitz instead of a continuation of it. And thought I loved Verosika and her final interactions with Blitz... it felt a little... I dunno.. not logical? (not her interactions, but most of the episode)

Stolas and Blitz relationship is a whole can of worms on its own, but I'm on the team that Stolas was forcing Blitz, like I mean in the pilot of HB it showed how uncomfortable Blitz was with him, and in the very first episode how he was forced to it since he was in a very dire situation (and Stolas knew about it, since he is seeing it developing in real time throught his bubbles)... (and I mean, the pilot face says it all)

But back on track...

So my questions, how Verosika knew about their break up? All of it happened between Stolas home, not even in public, and I don't think Stolas posted it on social media... also Why is she treating him so nicely and touchy? I mean on Ozzies, the bouncer showed reverence when he saw Stolas and let him in alongside Blitz.

I could see her treating him with more respect, or asking him if its alright to hug him or something because of his royal status, or at least refer to him as "your highness" (and in Stolas fashion he would be like "Oh don't need to be so formal but eh... anyway). Sure, they are in a more casual and comfortable environment, but even then, there are some manners expected when approaching a royal. If you are going to disregard his status, then why have a ladder with the different races and their social hierarchy? I get it was to show how sweet Verosika was really, but there could be a ton of approaches to this (and it wasn't hard to tell, since she was only mean to Blitz and has been speculated since her first appearance she is really nice and lovely once you get to know her).

And talking about approaches, this episode could be PERFECT to explore more about Blitz and Verosika. Yes, they talked at the end and we get to hear that the shitshow Blitz pulled on Verosika was after she told him she loved him (and she admitted she was embarrassed since it was the first time she felt that way). Put Stolas on the sidelines for a little while, and focus on these two. Maybe not a hearfelt talk for the whole episode, but making Blitz realize that before he could apologize to Stolas, he needed to work on himself first and foremost(because his apology to him was very forced as well). I think their talk came too quickly, and even then, why talk? Why Blitz would ask Stolas for forgiveness? In his eyes on Full Moon, Stolas was using him and he ended their contract, so he snapped (rightfully so, he first forced him and now is tossing him aside).

Or hell, make it about Blitzo and his past relationships including her, how he fucked up every single one of them, knowing about more about how he meet them, how he fucked up in every single one of them, make him feel remorse since the beginning, not to just feel remorse at the end just because he couldn't get the uwu bird back. (In one episode of "The mentalist" TLDR: Doc Dungan, a football star, is told to the media to be dead when in fact he is alive. He gets to watch what people really think of him, including his ex wife, and gradually this was the wake up call he needed to stop being a self-centered asshole, more things of the episode of course, but i liked this take, now that Blitz was in a somewhat similar situation of him not being dead but having the opportunity to see and hear his exs opinions, honest opinions, about him, not just the hate part).

And... putting all this behind, WTF with Verosika's psycho break with the cake? Her voice completly changed and it feel... odd. Sure, she is not fan of Blitz, and everytime he showed up, she showed the contempt and the bitterness towards him. So this change of personality of hers stabbing the cake with so much malicious intent felt really odd coming from her. Like, following HB logic (ugh, and there isn't much), this outburst is more like how Stella would react to a Stolas cake, seeing her cartoonish hate towards him and how she treats him. Verosika never had that type of "hate" towards Blitzo. In Spring Broken aside from the fight on the parking lot, she was ignoring him, until he came to challenge her. And in Ozzies was a coincidence both of them were there at the same time, and she took the opportunity when it presented to diss on him.

So her acting like a maniac vengeful ex who wants him dead seems a non logical change (and if she wanted him dead, like the scene implied, she has the resources to ask for a hitman). I get the cake was there as pettiness symbol. But still pettiness is different from hate. And then revert that change that on was during 2/4 of the episode (the manical laughter also set me off).

At the end it was showed that she still cares for him in a way (showed in the lasts bits of the episode)... so? I would also expect that kind of murderous rage from people with absolute hate and bitterness (again, like how they are depicting Stella, damn, Stella acted the same way when discussing Stolas death if I recall and in other situations when Stolas was almost hurt).

I don't think she was acting to make him feel welcome (because Stolas looked uncomfortable when she started to act that way, and I get many exes would have those feelings towards him, but... ) and she definitely wasn't drunk, even if she have been drinking since the start of the party, it think at this point, she has a very high tolerance, so she would need a lot more to get drunk.

So yea, I loved Verosika and her return, but I expected an episode centered around her (like spring broken was) instead of shifting the focus again to stolas and blitz, who have been the main focus since the beginning of season 2. If Verosika knew about the whole shit Stolas pulled, I don't think she would have invited him to the party, since the exes part means a consesual relationship, something that Blitz and Stolas thing wasn't. Hell, I think if she could, she would have called him out (again, yes, she hates Blitz, but she still cares, I don't think she would have liked to know how his ex was raped repeatedly) since now its shown that his royal status is bleh.

So yeah, the episode felt like a excuse to comfort Stolas, still make Blitz the bad guy, give Stolas the thumbs up and comfort while Blitz rots in self hate. Verosika being the tool to comfort the poor uwu bird.

Uf, this was a long rant, and even if you don't agree, that's fine. I'm just a guy who loves Verosika Mayday... but is already tired of the writing that pushes this couple at the center of all of it.

[lucystark12]

how will, mike, and vecna's arcs chase eachother around the show

to begin

byler: the early ages (predating the show and season 1)

our very first real interaction between mike and will speaks directly to my theory of the genius of the friends to lovers trope. the very first time we see them talk it's will confessing something to mike that neither of their other two friends wanted to. it's different. there is immediately something different about will's relationship with mike compared to the other kids. call this will's honesty, but the one thing us bylers have going for us is that will is very much canonically in love with mike. this is them showing us clearly that SOMETHING. IS. DIFFERENT. i would not go so far as to say that will is in love with mike or vice versa this far back because they're literally twelve, however, that 'something different' that's seemingly been there for a very long time is important and needs to be noted. we don't know what's different, they don't know what's different, but they don't feel the same way towards each other as they do towards their other friends. this much is obvious

(flickergate mentioned!! 🔥🗣🗣🔥🔥)

now we've got our search for will. mike is totally champoining it. of course dustin and lucas are incredibly invested, but mike is our leader here. once again, this could just speak to his personality, but i think not! mike's level of investment in finding will safely causes him to act against the caring and nurturing nature of his personality which we see in the way he lashes out at el when the body is found.

to be totally real with you, i don't remember nearly as much about the first season as i do the other three and also believe that since will is missing for most of it there isn't quite as much to go off of. so now i'm going to move on to season two.

byler: season 2

once again in season two we see mike being the one who's most protective and most conscious of will and his wellbeing. i will reiterate- for both of them at this point i think this still feels like they are just two people with a deep connection. as they are literally thirteen, i don't think either of them understand the depths of what love really means.

but uh oh... here comes the paradigm shift for will...

we ALL know what i'm talking about here.

in this scene, mike is able to break will out of the weird trance thing with his monolouge, which for anybody who has forgotten, reads as such:

"Do you remember the first day that we met? It was…It was the first day of kindergarten. I knew nobody. I had no friends and… I just felt so alone and so scared, but… I saw you on the swings and you were alone, too. You were just swinging by yourself. And I just walked up to you and… I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done."

initially, i thought this monologue was just super sweet, but the implications actually run a lot deeper than this scene just being some kind of masked love confession. what are those implications?

vecna has will in a trance during this scene. vecna is the same monster who you only have a chance of surviving if something is tying you to the real world.

we see this with max and music, with el and the mike monologue.

the difference is, neither of those work because neither thing is strong enough.

what is strong enough to break will out of a vecna trance though is mike's honest, hearfelt words.

vecna is a monster who feeds on people who fundamentally don't have enough love in their life. this is why he chooses will in the first place. henry creel was a deeply troubled child who didn't have any kind of love in his life, leaving him susceptible to become vecna when taken to the upside down. will on the other hand comes from an abusive home and is bullied in school. this seems like the perfect target for somebody feeding off people lacking that kind of support in their lives. only vecna gets it wrong, because will does have that unwavering, devoted, love in his life. that is mike.

mike who refuses to give up on him even after his body is found. mike who waits with him in the hospital for days. mike who was always the first to make sure he's okay.

the hospital scene opens will's eyes to this, which is why i'm calling this the unitalized "oh" in your "oh... oh" moment. this is will realizing there's something deeper. this is his first inclination.

byler: season 3

throughout the course of early season 3 or during the gap between seasons is when i like to believe will was starting to realize what that "something deeper" for mike was. although i think objectively season four is the most important byler season to date, i think season three is when it really solidifies itself into the brains of our characters that they are in fact in love with each other.

the first scene i want to focus on when discussing season three is the infamous rain fight, in which i believe will has already realized his feelings for mike.

in my eyes, mike wasn't actively trying to be like "it's not my fault that you're gay"- i do think that he meant to say "it's not my fault you don't like girls yet" but that with the erasure of that word, the initial meaning and what mike meant to say left with it. they both know how his words sound and the implication of what they must mean.

i mean, look at will's face. this isn't even the best screenshot of it, and you can still tell how the words struck a deeper meaning in him.

his initial reaction after the fight to go and tear down castle byers also helps us a lot with the narrative and even relates back to vecna.

jonothan and will build castle byers as a save haven to escape from lonnie and his abuse. lonnie's abuse is what directly relates will to henry and his cause. by tearing down castle byers, will is actively destroying his safe haven as a way to cope with the person who showed him the vecna-defeating love not loving him the same way anymore. even though mike apologizes, they don't have a real concrete conclusion that solidifies for will that mike cares about him in the same way that he once did. they do have something though-

the moving scene. mike's paradigm shift.

when mike and el talk in this scene their conversation begins with el confronting mike with the thing that scares him- the falsehood of his love for her. mike spends the beginning of this scene playing coy, trying his hardest not to play into what she's saying until she has to be upfront about it. when they kiss, mike thinks- something is off. i can't reciprocate her feelings.

you can see it when his eyes are open, you can hear it when he pretends not to know what shes talking about. mike is uncomfortable with the notion of being in a relationship with el because he knows it's not something he will ever realistically be able to have. not really.

then in his conversation with will, we get more resolution to their fight from earlier, a real and honest conversation. i can't remember which happens first, but both make sense.

if the el conversation happens first:

mike talking to will shows his comfort level with will over el and how inevitably he will always be able to be himself with him.

if the conversation with el happens first, this goofy little face is his "oh...oh" moment in a "this feels different in a good way sense.

if the will conversation with el happens first:

mike's hostility towards el shows how negatively he sees her after being with somebody that he truly does love

if the conversation with will happens first, this is the "oh... oh" moment.

either way, this is when mike realizes that he has feelings for will that are entirely different than the platonic ones he feels for el. this is him realizing that there's a difference between strong platonic adoration and real romantic love.

to further back myself up on this being the moment™️ for him, this is him immediately after.

this is the face of a boy who has just had his entire world rattled, the face of somebody who has just realized that he is in fact gay and in love with his best friend, and that he will never feel the same way for el (or any other girl) that he does for will.

boom, mike drop (haha)

byler: between season 3 and 4

since vecna is watching at all times, he's starting to pick up on this and realize that the all encompassing love that will needs to break free from vecna's grasps is becoming more imminent by the second. so naturally he starts to fuck with things.

first and foremost, mike not being able to call, therefore severing ties between him and will, was orchestrated by vecna. vecna can manipulate time, making it entirely feasible that will never got mike's calls to begin with.

now i bring u... lettergate!!

even though churchgate is my favorite gate, i fully believe that lettergate is real. it is absolutely canon to me. it makes perfect sense. the only other way for the two of them to communicate is via letters, and since will has been waiting for mike to reach out to him, the power is in mike's hands. however, like the writer he is, mike is really shitty at writing letters, so one never gets sent, leading to further miscommunication and cause for vecna to make will believe that he isn't loved.

byler: season 4

the first byler scene we talk about from season four is almost an extension of the in between season stuff. this scene is the airport scene, where mike's fully fledged feelings for will prevent him from hugging him back out of fear of it making things awkward, leading will to believe, once again, that mike doesn't care about him.

similarly to how mike and will make up and then get interfered with by vecna at the end of season four and the gap before season four, the two fight and then make up the next morning, making for relatively smooth sailing between the two for the rest of the roadtrip. until mike decides to confide in will, that is.

mike's intention in that scene was to get out that he thinks his charade is failing without actually outright stating that he thinks his beard isn't convincing enough. he remarks about how he doesn't think el will need him anymore just like how he needs el to cover up who he truly is.

so then will shows him the painting. confesses his love for him behind a mask, leading mike to believe that there is still a way his relationship with el could work out. he doesn't want it to, he needs it to. we know this already.

but here vecna comes, this time inadvertently. in order to thwart vecna's plans, mike is forced to give this false love confession to el (which, by the way, doesn't work). making vecna at fault for will's newfound feelings of less love from mike. will is convinced that mike is far gone, which is why vecna is able to slip into will's head once again.

vecna is back and is ready to use will for his grander purpose of making him into a mini vecna after orchestrating the greatest use of the miscommunication trope of all time. he has successfully convinced will that mike doesn't love him, which will make him an easy pawn.

so where does this leave us?

with the end all be all answer to what will happen come season five. will will need to be broken out of vecna's possession to save the world from power too strong for el to dream of taking on- double vecnas. we've seen it with will before, and we will see it again, mike's love for him will be the only thing capable of breaking him free from vecna. mike's character arc of self loathing and insecurity will culminate with him realizing how he feels about will, will's character arc of exploited insecurity will end with him getting the one thing he wants, and vecna, in his last moments, will be made to believe in the central theme of the show, that love triumphs hate.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s3 ep6: Remember

I love B'Elanna episodes, and this is one of her best. There's so much good material for B'Elanna here, and Roxann Dawson gives a fantastically nuanced and hearfelt performance, playing both her and the character of Korenna in this one.

This is probably one of the best episodes of the whole series in terms of directly, confrontationally taking on a relevant social issue, in the way that the original series did in the 60s. The absolutely terrifying thing about it is how much more revelant it's gotten since it first aired, and it just shows how important Star Trek is in terms of saying things that no other show would talk about, or would even be allowed to talk about, in today's political climate.

It starts off nice and normal, with some aliens, the Enarans, visiting Voyager and helping them make some improvements in engineering. B'Elanna is working with two of the scientists, who have been there for a few days, and who she has a good rapport with. We get a little scene with B'Elanna being Harry's wingman with the younger scientist, who likes him (B'Elanna and Harry are such cute bffs!!! I love it!!!) and then B'Elanna goes back to her quarters, where she goes to sleep and has a very racy dream, and has to be woken up from it the next morning because she missed the start of her duty shift. She then tells her other bff Chakotay all about her racy dream, and he's all like 'get it girl, I won't telll anybody you were late for work because of your sex dream, I got you fam.' (Because on Star Trek, people just tell their friends about their sex dreams, or the sexy candle ghosts they inherit, whatever. Nobody has any boundaries on a starship, I guess! lol)

But she keeps having the dreams, and in them she seems to be experiencing someone else's life. Eventually the dreams break through when she's awake, and when she collapses in the corridor, they realize their telepathic alien visitors must be behind it somehow, but they deny intentionally doing anything.

Meanwhile, the dreams go from being fun and romantic to more and more serious. Korenna, the woman whose life B'Elanna is experiencing, is torn between her lover, who comes from a culture outside her society's mainstream, and her father, who's part of the ruling class that oppresses her lovers people. We learn the love affair is clandestine because his people are subject to curfews, and ID checkpoints, and forced deportations. Korenna starts out sweet and innocent and sympathetic to his people, but as he tells her more of what's really going on, she doesn't want to believe that her father could be involved in something so terrible. Her father uses every manipulation tactic to justify his actions, and preys on his daughter's fears to win her over to his side. It's an absolutely devastating scene. Watching her descent into radicalization is horrifying and tragic, and all too familar a sight in our real world of alt-right conspiracy theories- chillingly, the things her father says are the same right-wing talking points we see today on the news.

B'Elanna eventually learns the memories belong to Jora Mirell, the older scientist she was working with, who regretted what she'd done, and wanted someone who would care and understand to know what her society had tried so hard to scrub from their history. When she dies, B'Elanna interupts the farewell party for the Enarans, and confronts their leader for the cover up of the genocide his people perpetrated. He denies and makes excuses, the other Enarans don't want to believe it, and the Voyager crew looks uncomfortable, and suggests that she shouldn't say it in the middle of the party. But B'Elanna's not anywhere in the vicinity of fucking around, and she says it all right there, where everyone can hear it.

Later, Captain Janeway tells B'Elanna she believes her, but that Voyager can't interfere with another society, and they must let the Enarans go, and leave them to do what they will, even if it means burying the knowledge again. B'Elanna is still distraught and outraged that no one will acknowledge what happened, and that no justice will be done. But Janeway tells her to go talk to the younger scientist she worked with before she leaves. B'Elanna does, and appeals to her to open her mind and think about what she told them. The Enaran woman agrees to telepathically link with B'Elanna so she can experience Jora Mirell's memories and see what happened for herself. The last shot is of her in the first memory, in Korenna's place, just like B'Elanna was. We're left with the hope that now that someone on their planet had the courage to look the truth in the eye, maybe their society can acknowlege it, and change for the better.

This whole story just hits so hard in light of current events. Are there Israeli parents, right now, telling their children the same things the father in this episode told his daughter, to justify their govenment's genocide against the Palestinians? Somewhere, on some news network, right now, I guarantee there's a right-wing pundit making the same speech the father makes in the town square in this episode, telling his followers how immigrants, or trans people, are dangerous, and undermining our society, and must be controlled or exterminated, for our safety. It's happened so many times in the US, and around the world, and then they say it was for the best, or that it didn't happen at all, so that when they do it again, they can claim that they would never, that it could never happen, don't be ridiculous, we're not evil, what we're doing is right, and for your own good. It makes me want to scream with rage, and I teared up watching B'Elanna march into that party full of complacent people, and speak truth to power, and force them to confront their own complicity in the evil system they benefit from. B'Elanna was and is such an important character to me, because here was a female character who was allowed to express her rage, and the audience was allowed, and even encouraged (some of the time at least), to sympathize with her. I hate when they try to write off her anger as being 'just Klingon things lol' because that is absolutely not what it is, at all. It's the anger of someone who's been marginalized, who's seen injustice, and won't fucking stand for it anymore, anywhere. Who knows everyone deserves better, and will fucking fight for it, whenever, wherever. I love that this episode lets us see that, and that in this story, her outrage is what drives the first steps for these people to start down the path to healing and change. The Enarans are telepathic, so Korenna choosing B'Elanna to relive her experiences wasn't just because she was there. She must have felt that B'Elanna was the person who would feel it the most deeply and fight hardest for what was right.

This episode makes me sad and angry, but it's supposed to. In a country where people are trying to ban teaching our history in our schools, an episode like this is more important than ever. Maybe in some state where schools aren't allowed to teach children about slavery, or the holocaust, or the genocide of Native Americans, or any queer history, maybe some kid will see this Star Trek episode, because their conservative parents think it's just a show about spaceships. And maybe this story will stick with them when their parents try to tell them that it's okay to hate one group of people or another. Maybe they'll hear their parents echoing a villain's words, and they'll start to consider that maybe their parents are wrong. And maybe they'll start to think critically enough to resist the poison of bigotry and break free one day. All it takes is one person to start questioning, and that's how things start to change.

I'm sure there's someone out there who doesn't like this episode, who could find plot holes, or something to criticize, but not me. That's not what's important to me here. This story is what Star Trek is about, at it's core. It's anti-fascist, anti-racist, it's about challenging and dismantling systems of oppression. Since 1966, it's been there to say something hopeful for all us who believe humanity can do better, and I'm profoundly grateful to have it.

Tl;dr: A hard-hitting episode that explores how easily even good people can become indoctrinated to bigoted, xenophobic ideas, and which shows us how even one person standing up and looking it in the eye can make a difference. Absolutely top notch, essential Star Trek viewing.

[dwreader]

honestly idc if louis forgiving lestat isn't earned morally like it obviously isn't but its genuinely just not earned narratively. which is the biggest issue with the finale is it wants you to feel good about the shack scene. the music, direction, performances, dialogue all suggest a hearfelt reconciliation and thats why the scene felt like i was being fed absolute bullshit. then add on all the post-season interviews where rolin's like ITS THE LESTAT SHOW NOW. like shut the fuck up.