#healthy relationship dynamic

[frankustein]

FAV TROPE IN ONE GIF

[lazylittledragon]

nomad boyfriend comes back for a visit

obviously there are some extras for the patr0ns <3

[thenightshadowqueen]

I think one of the things I will always love most about Merthur is that I adore loyalty taken to the extreme. I love someone abandoning all their morals and reframing their entire belief system around one person. I love someone willing to do absolutely anything for someone, no matter how horrendous it is. I love someone who would let their love kill them if they wanted to.

I adore loyalty taken to the extreme, and Merthur, specifically from Merlin’s perspective, is exactly that.

[aardvaark]

i love that leverage sets up nate "marriage is a contract" ford x sophie "all relationships are about manipulation" devereaux as its main love story. (and that it turns out to be an excellent love story).

[femininedating]

POV: You married a generous, gentle, provider man

[redsea8me]

Shoutout to this fucking sg Soundchet comic I made eons ago 😭 no matter what universe they can’t escape me…

[hadesoftheladies]

it's a little funny, because the endpoint of femininity is being the perfect partner to a man. that's literally what femininity is for. that's why it exists. the beauty industry's entire focus is catering to male desire. you aren't taught from day one to be demure just for the sake. it's because you're supposed to be the wife of some man. yet on this site, we can criticize and be sceptical about heels and plastic surgery, but not the end-goal of that career: romantic partnerships with men.

[hazbinbossbrainrot]

I have two types of ships:

Healthy:

Dysfunctional:

[iamhereonlytobeanunstableshipper]

No cause nowadays fandom culture is sooo sensitive like i just saw someone asking why huskerdust from hazbin hotel is such a famous ship if they're a drug addict and an alcoholic so it doesnt seem very healthy...... BABES back in my day if a ship wasnt between a minor and a 30+ year old it was considered a win

[shorlinesorrows]

okay, a couple things on alien stage/ivantill that I think some folks maybe need to consider and internalize.

Till does not "need" to return Ivan's feelings in the slightest if he doesn't feel that way. It's heart wrenching to see Ivan love him and have those feelings unreturned, but please remember that no one is required to return romantic feelings for someone else. You can't make yourself love someone, and you shouldn't. Especially out of guilt or obligation. That's Unhealthy 101, and would only set a relationship up for failure. (I do think Till cared about Ivan, and that he's going to have a Guilt Complex based on the fact that he didn't fully notice Ivan's feelings/care toward him until the guy died, but I've seen a couple of people tear into Till for not noticing/reciprocating Ivan's feelings??? Don't do that??? their situation is shitty, the fact that they didn't get to talk is shitty, but please don't blame Till for things he Can't Control.)

The kiss was not consensual. It wasn't meant to be portrayed as such. It wasn't even really romantic, it was a desperate, selfish act that Ivan used to get Till's attention (in more ways than one) and to give himself some sense of closure before he died. It was him saying everything that he felt at once, with no chance for Till to reciprocate or deny the affection. In a perfect world, they could have talked instead of this, maybe kissed knowing both wanted it, or given Till a chance to refuse. But they're both in the middle of an essential death tournament and one of them is going to be murdered sometime in the next few minutes. Neither of them really wants to live, but Ivan feels he has unfinished business before his sacrifice, so he finishes it. Their situation sucks. That doesn't mean the kiss was consensual. (especially considering the theory/implication that Till was/is being sexually assaulted by aliens, I wouldn't be surprised if this affects him badly in the future, for multiple reasons. Everyone should always get the chance to say "no" and have that fully respected. This also extends to the fact that Ivan died for Till without giving him a chance to stop it, which is probably going to mess with Till's head a lot. Then again, Ivan likely didn't think it would affect Till much because as far as he/we know, the feelings aren't reciprocated in this moment in canon, or are extremely repressed. Ivan might believe that Till simply hates him, or the kiss/subsequent "choking" may have been a way of trying to make Till hate him so that his death wouldn't hurt as much. Of course that thinking is flawed, because it would hurt Till no matter what, but still, it makes me sad)

Ivan... is kinda messed up. I adore him, but we've got to acknowledge that he has little to no emotional and relationship maturity due to the fact that he was quite literally raised as a pet and learned at a young age to do whatever his masters said to keep himself safe and pain-free. His fascination with Till appears to largely stem from Till's sense of rebellion. Ivan's examples of relationship dynamics and what constitutes as "love" is dangerously unbalanced, and he does not know how to build a healthy relationship. (Neither of them do.) This is also built onto the fact that the person he became dependent on only paid attention to him when they were fighting or Ivan was annoying him. Ivan cares about Till desperately, but he is also dangerously reliant on him to the point of self-detriment. Again, in an ideal world, they would be able to get out of this situation and gradually make a healthy relationship/friendship (depending on Till's feelings) over time while starting to undo the dangerous relationship patterns that they fell into when they didn't have any way to know better. But they're in a terrible situation, and Ivan really just doesn't get the chance to grow as a person and realize that his sense of possessiveness and reliance on Till's attention isn't healthy.

Basically, their situation makes me want to sob and its heart wrenching. Their circumstances have set them up for failure. Both of them are in the midst of attempting to survive an abusive situation and massive amounts of dehumanization. I beg, please try not to sanitize their complicated relationship or blame either of them for the pain the other is going through. I've seen some of that going around, and it's making me sad :(

[greghatecrimes]

It drives me insane that they're looking at each other like that, because you can tell that when it was good, it was so good.

[spartazia-blog]

I cannot believe we went all the way through season 3 just to end up as a fandom exactly where we were at the start.

The fandom remains incapable of accepting Penelope as being in the wrong for how she handled LW with regards to Colin and continues to make Colin out to be some kind of villain for having an emotion that isn’t “worshipping Penelope.” Your girl is a liar and she got called out for it. Colin is allowed to be angry. And say hurtful things. Especially considering his own trauma. You all excuse every cruel choice Pen makes because her family can be mean but Colin having previously been in a relationship where someone pretended to love him in order to get him to marry them can’t at all impact how he might process learning that the next woman he loves and plans to marry has *also been lying to him?* Just say you hate Colin and only ship Polin because they are canon and you think you “have to”

Oh, Penelope should have thrown the entrapment line back in his face and called off the wedding? Cool, Colin should have told her to go fuck herself when she told him to his face that she was mad that her years of friendship didn’t pay off into him wanting to fuck her. And he should absolutely accept her calling off the wedding and find someone who will love him without using cheap manipulation and guilt-trips to get out of admitting their are in the wrong.

But neither of did that. BECAUSE THAT IS NOT ACTUALLY POLIN. I don’t know who this fandom ships but it sure as shit isn’t Polin. Polin is about owning your flaws and loving each other *because* of those flaws. It’s holding space and being each other’s soft place to land. It’s not Penelope having all the power and living out your petty revenge fantasies on your high school crush who didn’t like you back.

[madelee]

How I like to imagine the ZaDr dynamic. How they sift from enemies to something more. And what I fucking love about ZaDr.

Some thoughts.

Zim and Dib, two emotionally neglected kids. Having little to no friends or any emotional support system… They became the primary attachment figures for each other: Based on them being enemies this relationship/development… it’s bound to be very complicated and messy.

There are various emotions mixed up in their dynamic. The initial hatred, frustration, and antagonism because they literally are enemies… but also the feelings of bonding, caring, appreciation, respect, and understanding. Then when getting older, also attraction, passion, and all those fuzzy feelings get mixed in.

But essentially, all the positive emotions that one develops and gets to experience with a close person like love, adoration, connection, tenderness, compassion, or simply joy… all those also get mixed up with the ‘negative’ ones.

The brain quite literally connects feelings of affection and connection with violence, aggression, cruelty, abuse, and brutality. This is trauma bonding, reward-based learning, and positive conditioning.

Them being obsessive and excessive as a fundamental part of their core personality only adds as a multiplier.

When this happens in a critical life phase (being young and in adolescence), having nearly no other positive influences in life and being neglected (emotionally especially), this connection the brain made will get so deeply internalized and won’t ever truly go away.

It could also connect to your sexuality and all that.

(There are real-life equivalencies)

What I’m getting at is, all this makes just so much sense!

This dynamic and their relationship is super complex and nuanced because of this.

Their relationship is incredibly intense and yes totally toxic but also compassionate.

Them fluctuating between high psychological distress/tension (hating, fighting, obsessing, loving, being in denial about your existence, generally trauma responses e.g., through neglect, loneliness, abandonment) and then them experiencing the sweet release through the aspects of their dynamic (connection, closeness, intimacy) as mentioned.

This stuff becomes quite simply addictive to someone.

This is why they can get crazy shit feral/hardcore with each other and also feel pleasure while doing so.

Like cutting each other up (or open), taunting, fighting, beating each other...

But because I’m a sucker for ambivalence and stark contrast, I like to imagine them being very, very cute with each other as well (occasionally even without showing the bad stuff while being cute), still toxic, still abusing and batshit crazy but absolutely meaning everything to each other and deeply caring.

Fluffy but in an obsessive and excessive way.

They will always somewhat be mean to each other and never shy to argue, even if just in a teasing and more lighthearted manner.

This is their love language after all.

This is how they show they care, and it’s what they know.

Also, this is just how they are personality-wise: thick-headed, intense people with strong opinions and even stronger egos.

And let’s not forget about stupidness, dorkyness, and comedy sprinkled in.

ZaDr is a fantastic way to deep dive into complex inner psychological human workings and I love exploring this.

(I love love love intense emotions.)

It’s even comforting in a way, if you ask me.

Hate and love are so close for a reason.

It’s the most intense we can feel.

And I mean, I guess we all (or many of us) can somehow relate to not liking or even hating a close one (even if only sometimes). But when a real deep bond is established with someone and when affection is also part of your connection (even if only sometimes), this stuff just doesn’t go away. Toxic relationships are messy and certainly not easy nor black and white. You just understand this emotion… of how complicated you can feel about someone, and what complexity this can bring with it.

Note that, this is how I like to imagine it. One can have a totally different perspective on it and this is valid as well!

Also this is romanticized, fiction and reality operate differently. Cognitive dissonance baby.

[snakesinsocks2005]

Thinking about them again

(Click for quality!)

[shannonsketches]

Do y’all ever think about how Vegeta’s only ever mad at Freeza for what happened to his planet and he’s never mad at Freeza for what happened to him because I think about that a lot

[skitskatdacat63]

"The Boy With The Thorn in His Side"(x) - The Smiths × 2023 Strollonso moments + pundits' reactions