#healthy cookies brands

[itzabouthealth]

Healthy Cookies Ideas

1. Oatmeal Cookies

Instead of butter, these nutritious oatmeal cookies are made with fiber-rich oats, coconut sugar, coconut oil, and applesauce. They are simple to prepare, naturally dairy-free, gluten-free, and paleo-friendly.

2. Lemon Cookies

Lemon biscuits are incredibly tasty and airy. They rank among my all-time favourite things.

Made from cassava flour, these.

They are dairy-, grain-, and gluten-free in addition to being vegan.

You may eat them plain or create a small fruit pizza by adding icing and fruit on top.

No matter how you like them, these cookies will undoubtedly become new favorites.

3. Peanut Butter Oatmeal Banana Cookies

For those who enjoy peanuts or peanut butter, these are the ideal cookies! Bananas, peanut butter, and oats are just a few of the straightforward, healthy ingredients that Food Faith Fitness demonstrates how to make cookies with. To add a wonderful, mellow flavor and sweetness, use organic coconut sugar.

4. Flourless Strawberry Shortcake Cookies

These soft, tasty, and incredibly simple strawberry oatmeal cookies are made with healthy ingredients. Oats, almond flour, coconut sugar, eggs, vanilla, and strawberries will be used to make the base. After baking, add extra strawberries and a lovely cream cheese icing to the top. To ensure that the strawberry cookies stay fresh, store them in the refrigerator. These cookies are the ideal dessert or snack during strawberry season since they are delightfully sweet and refreshing. They take 20 minutes to prepare and have 8 cookies with 130 calories each.

5. Almond Flour Shortbread Cookies

These cookies give you something to rejoice over throughout the holiday with less than 2 g of net carbohydrates per serving. Again, using almond flour for refined flour reduces the amount of overall carbohydrates in the dish while increasing its protein and fibre content. While these cookies are a better alternative for blood sugar management, it’s important to remember that low-carb doesn’t always equate to low-calorie. All-purpose flour has 400 calories per cup, but almond flour has 640 calories per cup. As we all should, try to be mindful of your portion sizes when eating any holiday cookies.

6. Healthy Chocolate Chip Cookies

The traditional chocolate chip cookie has been given a delectable twist in these healthy gluten-free chocolate chip cookies.

They feature dairy-free chocolate chips, chickpea flour, coconut sugar, and coconut oil.

They are therefore free of both dairy and gluten.

7. Avocado Chocolate Cookies

How luxurious do these Smoothie Lover cookies appear to be? Despite this, they are quite healthy because they contain components like avocado. This recipe calls for dark cocoa powder, but if you believe the dark one would be too bitter for children, you can use a milder variety.

8. Healthy No-Bake Chocolate Cookies

These tasty, simple no-bake healthy cookies call for peanut or almond butter, dark chocolate, coarsely chopped almonds, oats, and coconut oil. These are one of my favourite chocolate treats and keep nicely in the refrigerator. It’s also quite flexible; you can add any nuts or seeds you prefer, as well as puffed rice or quinoa, or anything else your heart desires. The cookie recipe yields 16 cookies and takes 8 minutes to prepare. Each cookie has 116 calories.

9. Sugar-Free Chocolate Chip Cookies

Sometimes it’s impossible to resist a traditional chocolate chip cookie. However, the traditional alternative can have a significant impact on blood sugar levels given that one large cookie contains at least 29 grammes (g) of carbohydrates. You can eat them again without experiencing any unwanted side effects thanks to this sugar-free recipe. In this recipe, which uses the sugar alcohol erythritol in place of added sugar and lower-carb almond flour, there are just 4 grammes of net carbohydrates per serving. (Take note that erythritol may cause stomach pain if you eat too much of it; limit yourself to one cookie.)

10. Gluten-Free Coconut Flour Sugar Cookies

The coconut flour used to make these sugar cookies is grain- and gluten-free. They offer the ideal texture for crafting cut-out cookies and a delightful, buttery flavour!

[shallowrambles]

The 21st century obsession with perfect words + the one true way to express an apology

So, a big problem IMHO in modern therapy circles is the emphasis on words as the only way of communicating your emotions.

That is, unless you REPENT with verbal platitudes, or wax poetica in long rambling sessions that showcase your deep understanding of your own psychology, it's never going to be good enough.

Like, sure, words are important. Verbal apologies can be important.

I've been disowned six times. Twice, a more nonverbal-leaning, stoic family member of mine apologized with a gift. Before you scream, "But you can't just buy happiness and forgiveness!" consider this: WHY can't a gift can't function as verbal apology? Why can't it "count" as communication in some instances? For some people, it's a much safer-feeling way to communicate with you, and when you reject it, that can be just as powerful as rejecting a verbalized apology.

Often, we are too wrapped up in being owed that perfect, straightforward, eloquent apology. But people aren't machines--and rigidly expecting perfect verbal apologies can rob you of equally legitimate, loving connections. Deficits in expressing emotion don't mean that people feel no remorse. (I get it. Some neuroatypical people can't read body language or tone or parse the context of a thing. There is even some evidence that hyper-systemizing predisposes to toxic, emotional scorekeeping of wrongdoings. However, that doesn't mean we get to assume the worst of people, just as neurotypical people shouldn't assume the worst of a poorly-communicating neuroatypical person.)

Sometimes, it really IS about HOW someone says something, or even the nonverbal actions they take to express their remorse. If a someone "reads" remorse in tone and body language, is that somehow less deserving or legitimate than having the perfect words?

In a world that teaches AMABs in particular not to verbalize their emotions, sometimes accepting the nonverbal apology can be good. Maybe putting your boot on their neck and demanding they apologize in the "right" way isn't super helpful in a lot of instances.

[alternative-ffa]

Being with the same person for decades creates a sense of security. At this point, you're both partners in life and all effort goes into helping the other.

Jacob liked to message his wife Bethany when she was outside having a smoke or on the phone with friends. He would tease her with with his requests, hoping they would be inciting and arousing enough for her to come back in the house and play with him and his fat body. It was 8am and Bethany had sneaked out of bed, not to wake him. He took up over half of the king sized bed, using body pillows as dams for his obese body. He loved being fat.

This particular morning, he was messaging her to create a grocery order, daring her to get the most fattening items she could find - knowing that she would be insistent that he finished everything before it went bad. Her strategy was to get all perishable items, like cakes from the bakery instead of brand name cookies. It forced him to consume everything quicker.

Life over the last decade had thrown them curveballs. Having met on a fat fetish website, everyone looked forward to their updates, as they were quite active in the community. They were sure that Jacob was going to be impossibly huge, given his discovery of a female feeder at his disposal so early in life, and his sincere sexual desire to become too fat to move.

But life with the fetish isn't always the perfect fantasy. Jacob had to deal with the usual stress of life and would put his gaining on the back burner. His girlfriend (at the time) and feeder, Bethany, would always defer to what he wanted. If life became too stressful, and becoming fatter was the last thing on his mind, she never pushed it.

Life went back and forth. It was either, "feed me until I scream for help" or "I don't want to think about it".

She adapted to his mood throughout the years.

At this point life had taken a turn again. He worked from home and his gluttony began to take over. Bethany loved this. He found joy in getting groceries delivered. But he enjoyed it way more when she made the shopping list. She would order pastries and cakes and heavy cream on top of the usual order. He always had the last say, but would almost order her to create a grocery list of all the items she wanted him to consume.

He was obvious with his hints. An Amazon package arrived one day with a huge funnel and tube. She opened the box and raised her eyebrow as she asked, "planning on having a beer chugging party?"

He put his hands on his belly and chuckled as he said, "... not beer..."

As mentioned previously, he was obvious with his hints. Given the funnel and tube he ordered, she knew to add heavy cream... and given the holiday season, eggnog, to the list.

She secretly loved him working from home. He ate constantly. She wanted to see him get as big as possible, so she knew the tricks. He'd ask what food there was in the house. She'd give him a basic answer and deny his request for take out. He would grunt annoyingly as he created some kind of gigantic meal from the leftovers in the house. Then, once he finished his meal, she would order food. He didn't pick up on the strategy, but since he enjoyed it, he didn't care to. Time passing was a thing he didn't seem to notice, especially when it came to his appetite. She'd order food right after he finished a feast. He would stuff himself thoroughly with the order, then be confused why he was so full. She'd have to remind him, "well, you did finish a big meal before take out arrived."

He always looked surprised... "you mean, that wasn't hours ago? I... I'm still hungry."

She would smile and say, "you want something sweet now, don't you?"

He'd lick his fat lips and burp loudly, then say, "yes, ice cream. Sprinkle cinnamon on top, it's healthy."

Bethany would laugh with that statement. A full bowl of vanilla and chocolate ice cream, spilling over the edges, and yet... adding cinnamon would make it healthy? She didn't care. If he wanted to believe that, he could. She just wanted him to get fatter.

She placed a grocery order... enough for a family of five - knowing it was going into a belly of one. Since he fluctuated in his gaining desire over the last decade, she knew this was the open window to make him huge. But she had to do it quickly... given his speedy change in mindset over the years.

At over 350lbs, Jacob was big in the scheme of things. But it wasn't nearly big enough. His whole life he had the desire to become too fat to move. Even as a child, he played games where he was too big to leave the plastic play house during recess. It was just a hint of his adult desire to become immobilized with fat.

She played with him mentally; making sure he ate so much that he was surprised it even happened. He'd eat a full meal and forget so easily that she could trick him into eating a second or third lunch. Daylight savings time helped. It got dark so much earlier that even though he had eaten a full, multiple plate, dinner... darkness fell and she could convince him that it was hours ago, as she presented him with another couple plates of food.

She didn't feed him, because she didn't need to. He would eat himself into a coma without her help. Feeding him was a treat... and he had to be laid on his back, belching loudly to make room, before she even considered it. She wanted him to beg. Him, laying on his recliner, stuffed like a hog, burping every few minutes, rubbing his belly... lifting it with his fat hands to drop it, just watching it jiggle down, teasing his fatpad which surrounded his dick.

She'd watch from the couch. If he ate this well without needing to be fed, then she'd wait until he couldn't eat any longer before she stepped in.

This was one of those nights. The funnel he had ordered sat on a chair in the living room, not being used. Bethany was waiting for the perfect moment. On this particular night, Jacob had consumed so much food that he was lapsing in and out of consciousness in his recliner. She looked over at him and smiled. She knew this was her chance to sneak into the kitchen and make a quick weight gain shake to surprise him. She wanted him to wake up with the tube in his mouth, helpless to stop the fattening fluid as it filled his already stuffed belly. While she combined the heavy cream, weight gain powder, ice cream, and milk in the blender; she realized a surprise was impossible with the inevitable noise. She shrugged her shoulders and thought, "well, I'm sure hearing the blender and noticing the funnel is no longer on the chair will be surprise enough for him."

When she turned it on to mix up his 5000 calorie shake, she heard him snort in the living room - obviously waking up suddenly. But he stayed silent.

She poured the shake into the funnel, being sure to block the tube with her thumb once it was filled. A little bit spilled in the sink, but given that this was her first time filling up a feeding funnel, she wasn't too bothered by it. Balancing the shake in the funnel, she tip toed back into the living room. His eyes met hers immediately. He looked greedy, and ready to go above and beyond to chug it down. When they made eye contact, neither had to say anything.

Bethany had already taken her arms out of her bathrobe so she could hold the tube and funnel, so it was easy as she dropped her bathrobe to reveal a dark navy blue, baby-doll style lingerie set. His hungry eyes sparked with a sexual hunger on top of his permanent gluttonous hunger, and they darted back and forth from her to the funnel she held.

She approached him and placed her hand on his belly. It was still hard and bloated from what he had eaten throughout the day. She was about to place the tube into his excited mouth, but instead asked, "You're still very full. Are you sure you can fit this?"

There was a hint of teasing in her voice, almost daring him.

His fat hand reached up and grabbed the tube from her. He wasn't quick enough to get it into his mouth and a little bit of the shake fell onto his breasts, but he didn't care. He closed his eyes and drank as fast as he could as she held the funnel up above him. It only took a few minutes until the funnel was half empty. He reached for the tube, placing his thumb on the end of it to save what was left. A loud wet belch escaped his lips. He groaned. His free hand reached down to his swollen belly and he pressed it, forcing more air out with every burp. Bethany could only watch as she held the funnel up above him. She wanted to stand between his legs, hovering over his huge body - leaning over him, kissing and rubbing his fat as she teased the sensitive flesh deep between his rolls. She almost decided to put the funnel back in the kitchen, balancing it on something to keep the other half of the shake in it. But Jacob grabbed it again before she could make the decision. He swallowed as quickly as he could. Luckily the funnel itself was transparent - he would look up at it every few seconds to see how much was left. As the fattening fluid disappeared down the funnel, he seemed to get more greedy, gulping it down faster and faster.

Finally he couldn't take it anymore. There was still a little bit of the shake in the tube, but he could feel the fullness in his belly and the pain of being so gluttonous that he could barely breathe. He had to stop. The small amount left fell down his chins and he dropped the tube. Luckily Bethany still held the funnel, and she caught it before the droplets fell on the floor.

Holding it in one hand, she leaned down towards Jacob. He continued to belch and she quickly rubbed what she could of his belly as she said teasingly, "You out-did yourself. I'll be right back fat boy."

He moaned. He loved when she called him fat. The more derogatory, the better. He wanted to be called a pig, a glutton, a fat fuck - and every time she indulged his enjoyment of humiliation, he found himself pulsing with pleasure.

She came back into the room with a wet paper towel and gently began to clean off the cream that fell from the tube. It dribbled down his lips, flowing down his chins. Bits of it were in-between his fat hairy breasts. She was erotic with her cleaning - teasing his nipples as she seductively told him what a messy fat hog he was. She had cleaned him thoroughly, but he was, yet again, floating in and out of a food coma. He sensed her walking away and jolted awake. She held up the dirty paper towel and assured him, "I'm just throwing this out, I'll be right back."

She heard the slight squeek of the recliner as he laid his head back down again.

She threw out the paper towel in the kitchen, then momentarily reflected on the last hour. She was lucky. The desire to be with such a gigantic man was rare - nevermind finding a man who would do anything to become as fat as he could. She had fattened men up before, when she had first discovered her unusual desire. But they didn't enjoy it. They did it for her attention, and not because they wanted it as well. As a result, they didn't gain nearly the amount she was attracted to, and the relationships never lasted. She smiled, knowing she chose the right man over a decade and a half ago. He was right there, laying in their living room, burping and moaning. She knew he was rubbing his belly without even needing to look into the room.

Another thought crossed her mind in this short reverie... his dreams. She was a light sleeper, and many times over the years she'd hear him groan in his sleep and whisper, "I'm so fat. More... more..."

She would always awake suddenly, but smiled. How lucky to have a man who really dreamed of being obese; who had no limit to how fat he wanted to get.

It had only been a few seconds, but in her brain, she thought she was standing in the kitchen dreaming for at least a couple minutes. Him moaning in the other room brought her out of her daydream and reminded her that he deserved a belly rub. She withheld it when he didn't eat enough. A slight dominance within her made sure that his reward of physical and sexual pleasure had to be earned.

She walked back into the living room and stood at his feet. He was reclined as much as he could be. His thick fat hands were already engaged in vigorously massaging his impossibly full stomach. His eyes were closed and she watched. He was so full that he wasn't exactly conscious. It reminded her of his dreams... and she wanted to say, "Yes, you are fat. And you're getting so much fatter."

She couldn't resist. Tip toeing over to his side she whispered this into his ear. He smirked and opened his eyes. She was leaning over him and he looked at her pert breasts almost spilling out of the lingerie. He reached with his fat hand and grabbed one. Moaning he said, "come closer."

She stepped away from his side and moved between his legs. Being reclined blocked her, so he grabbed the remote and lowered the foot rest. She moved closer, her hands on his thighs. He reached down and lifted his belly. The fat of his groin hid most of him, but she saw the head of his dick, hard and pulsing, almost trying to escape the fat that encased it. She got on her knees... and his eyes were wide with excitement.

[sp00kcanwrite]

Hear me out- i'm cooking here some idea! Like- what if Sun wukong, Macaque (separatedly) met an Reader who is an Goddess of the Moon, like, not like Chang'e but mostly THE Protector! One of the elements, like, they met her when she was humming a tune while sitting on a little moon shape floaty thing (The Design might be inspired of Moonlight Cookie From Cookie run Ovenbreak/Kingdom! So you get an idea of how to do it <33) Some Headcanons??? I'll gladly love to read it! It can be Some fluff or something about them both having a crush on The Reader (bro's gonna go wild if they found out Reader is lesbi-) (jk,jk, just an nerd joke from the moonlight x sea fairy story)

Just an fan of Moonlight Cookie here! Love your fics <33

Stay healthy and keep yourself all good

-This dumb nerd

I LOVE COOKIE RUN TO!

This is my first,and (probably will always be) my favorite request ♡♡♡

MACAQUE X MOON GODDESS! READER

Maybe a bit OOC

_____________________

MEETING!

Macaque never thought he'd stumble into a moon goddess but here he is!

After a fight with wukong, in wich macaque barely got away, he fled to a usually empty lake surrounded by woods .

He didn't expect the isolated area to be occupied by a women with almost glowing skin and a ethereal dress to be sitting elegantly on a Cresent moon like platform that floated 5 inches away from the water of the lake and gave off a white glow.

The woman hummed a soft tune that would put thousands of children to sleep. Though it was very quiet macaque would've been able to hear it from a mile away, he almost fell asleep as he felt the insomnia he's been plagued with for years slip away.

His black claws gripped onto the bark of a tree as he watched the lady for, he doesn't even know how long at this point.

Maybe his grip was to strong as the wood eventually let out a booming Crack and fell forward, right into the lake. The water splashed over the woman sitting in a Cresent moon.

HEADCANONS!!

I won't lie that man fled as soon as the wood gave out, faster then sonic i swear. Yet he found himself coming back to the same lake, to hear the same humming tune that you sung.

After awhile, I'd say 4 weeks, you'd finally introduce yourself. And boy did that shock the raven haired monkey as he thought he was being rather sneaky.

It takes a while for him to warm up to you but patience is perfection! And trust me eventually he did, and soon that friendship blossomed into something else.

He thought of you every night, everything about you intoxicated the guy. Your humming, your face, your eyes, and even how quiet you spoke.

He knew he had it bad but couldn't convince himself to confess, so what does he do? He ghosts you

For a pretty long times (cough 8 days) until you finally take actiona and burst into his dojo, your moon staff in hand, and demanded a explanation on why he was avoiding you.

After a long while of bickering he accidentally slips out a confession, you paused completely when you heard the words come out your mouth.

Oddly enough..you didn't mind it

MEETING!

Ya'll know how in the books he was described to be a light weight drinker? Yeah it was true. And he's a man of bad luck to run into the same moon goddess that he treated so rudely in the past.

He was stumbling threw a forest, god knows how he got there, and ran into a glowing woman that sat sleepily on a Cresent moon. And when I say ran in I mean it, he ran full force into you by accident of course.

By the time you got up and held him by his collar the man was knocked out, he wanted to smack him over the skull buttt that wouldn't be very "elegant" for you (definitely not because you knew he was THE sun wukong)

So you dragged him to FFF mountain, all the way into the shame shack and threw him on his bed. But sadly this powerful demon had, in his sleep, gripped onto your flowing gown and pulled you onto the bed with him.

No matter how hard you wiggled or squirmed you were stuck being wukongs brand new stuffed toy for the night.

______________

He was out like a rock, you had to summon your staff and hit him a couple of times before he even opened a eye.

But oh boy when he did you screamed louder then any siren could in all 7 seas. Not from fear, but from hangover shock.

You scoffed at his girlish scream and turned your nose up to his lazy apology. As you went to the door the great sage folded over on the ground, and started breathing heavy? Was he gagging? Why- OH CRAP

I don't think I need to say what happened next, it ended with him bent over a toilet and you helping him up. You don't know how or why but you stayed for a good 6 hours just listening to the obviously touch deprived monkey, you could tell by how he clinged on your arm, ramble on and laugh at his antics in the past. Tha antics that caused alot of trouble to the moon you protected.

Turns out the great sage has some overpowering charm as you found yourself showing up to his house again

And again

And again

Until you memorized flower fruit mountain like it was the back of your hand.

The lonely great sage found himself growing fonder and fonder of you each day, he wondered why his heart beat so much, why his palm went sweaty or why he felt hot around you.

Until it hit him the day you cooked him a peach pie.

He had hearts in his eyes as he held your wrist, catching the steaming pie with his tail he looked you in the eye and said with much confidence.

"I love you!"

"I like woman-"

(JK)

(JK)

You stared with shock as the monkey man confessed his feelings, and as hard as a asteroid hitting the moon your lips crashed with his.

[niuniente]

how... how did you find 190 different icecream flavors? Like you go for the signature name they are given(like one brand call vanilla vanilla but another one calls it cream paradise)? they're manufactured, home made? from those gourmet shops? those you find in supermarkets? You travel for them? or is all that around where you live and places you have passed by? you only consider milk based or also water based(tho those usually have another name)? does popsicles and things like icecream sandwich counts as flavors? have you ever gone on a trip specifically to try a region's typical ice cream? i'm sorry i am just honestly curious how you do your icecream flavors curatorship. and what is your top five out of 190 flavors.

I find ice-creams the following ways:

Cafes (we have many cafes selling their own gelato with unusual flavors, like cinnamonroll and avocado)

Traveling (Japan is a very good place for ice-creams! Although last time there I didn't find anything new.)

Finland consumes the most ice-cream per capita in the Europe. Because we're an ice-cream nation, every summer we get limited edition ice-cream flavors for all stores and kiosks. For example, this summer's new limited edition flavors are marshmallow-Biscotti cookie, and caramel-macadamia.

Manufacturers are supposed to come up with new ice-creams and also import new flavors and brands.

International stores quite often have ice-creams and sometimes I discover new flavors from their selection.

I know how to make ice-cream but only 1 flavor from the list is self-made.

To other questions!

If it made out of milk or a milk substitute, it's an ice-cream. Popsicle, sherbet etc. are not counted as ice-creams but ice-cream sandwiches are.

We have no regional specialties that much, although I know in Porvoo city there's an ice-cream factory with really wonderful flavors. Some of their flavors are available in stores but to get to taste them all I should travel to Porvoo. Without a car it's a day's worth of trip and I'm too sick to travel just to get certain ice-creams.

Having said that, I've had some regional ice-creams in Berlin, Germany!

Someday when I'm rich and healthy, I can travel somewhere just to go to try out their ice-creams.

TOP 5 (really hard to choose, so many that I like!)

Matcha

Royal Milk Tea

Spruce

German Spekulatius Christmas Cookie

Milk

But honestly speaking? If I didn't live in the country which eats ice-cream like maniacs, I wouldn't be able to get new flavors on my list that easy. Just in the past week I gained 4 new flavors (Rom-Brittle; Quark-strawberry; Marshmallow - Biscotti cookie; Vanilla-honey)

Just in these 7 months I've found 20 new flavors, all in Finland.

My ice-cream list, which updates as I find new flavors, is here.

[theunaestheticstudyblr]

Some of my favorite easy and fast foods/snacks for $5 or less that aren't ramen and spaghetti:

Couscous. You can get boxed couscous for like $3 and it's enough for 2-3 side dishes at least and takes literally 5 minutes and no extra ingredients. You can get large containers of it for like $5 at Walmart too so you can season however you want. A nice grain that's easy to digest and pairs well with almost anything.

Popcorn. Everyone's favorite healthy junk food that can satisfy most cravings. You can usually get a box for like $4 or a jar of kernels for like $6.

Oats. Whole oats. Extremely versatile. Put them in smoothies, make cookies, granola, snack bars/balls, brownies, oatmeal, etc. Truly the best bland fiber and filler out there. You can even easily make your own oatmilk for super cheap by blending them with water and straining!

Frozen veggies. Last for months in the freezer and usually under $2 a bag. Not great if you prefer raw veggies, but if you are fond of sautéed or roasted ones, save some money and just get them frozen.

Chocolate chips. Cheaper than chocolate bars and you get a lot more chocolate. Perfect for those cravings!

Powdered potatoes. I know I know but if you ignore the package directions and put some butter and milk and seasonings in it, you can't tell. Ready in like 2 minutes and you get a shit ton of mashed potatoes for like $2.

Vegan Mac and cheese. I'm lactose intolerant and so I will forever be thankful for the vegan movement of the early 2010s for making nondairy products easier to find and more affordable. Vegan Mac and cheese literally tastes the exact same and bakes so well. Annie's so far has been my favorite brand and they have other pastas with sauces too like squash which is so good.

Crepes. You can make your own batter for cheap but who likes all them dishes? You can find pre-made crepes for like $3 for 10.

Apples. You can find 2lb bags of these for $3 at a lot of places. I never knew they were so cheap and I go through phases where I'll eat like 4 a day.

Lunch meat. Packs of turkey cost like $4. I use turkey on so much. Bagels, omelets, salads, sandwiches, wraps, croissants, etc.

Ready to bake pastries. I'm not a big bread person but croissants ready to bake have my whole heart and cinnamon rolls can really help make a bad day a little better.

Pretzels. I'm an absolute whore for Pretzels and eat so many of these things. They're so easy to pack for snacks for class or anything really. I can't go two weeks without them.

Rice crisps. Rice cakes are great but they're big and crumbly and get stale if you don't close the bag JUST right. But little Rice crisps??? Elite. They come in so many flavors and are super crunchy and they're just super cute too and they're bogo a lot at publix.

Frozen potstickers. You can get them for so cheap and I have a giant bag of them in my freezer right now that I got for like $7. I usually get smaller portions for $4 or so though but decided to splurge and get 3lbs of them cus why not.

Frozen shrimp. A bag of extra small Frozen shrimp is about $5 at Walmart. Eat them thawed and cold or put them in pastas or rice or Soups. They're a staple in my house.

These are just a few I could think of off the top of my head. Please add to the list!

[lexithevalkyrie]

Wieght gain tip number 2: what should i eat 🤷‍♀️

Now that we talked about the best nutritional intakes to gain weight, both healthy and unhealthy, next next question to ask yourself is: what do I eat?

Now, let's start with you unhealthy piggies first. Good news for yall! You get to have all the fatty and delicious food you want 😋. Now, what is a good meal plan that will last you a week and won't hurt your wallet 🤔

Well any American knows the magnificent super store called Walmart 😌. Now what if I told you this bad boy can get you so fucking fat with only 40-50$ a week?

At 35-50$ a week: you can get around 3k calories per day for 1 whole week

Let's get the fun stuff out of the way. For your morning snack should be light compared to your afternoon snack, I recommend getting fritters. You can scarf down 720 calories with 2 fritters. A whole box of 6 fritters is merely 4 dollars, sooooo you should pick up 1-2 boxes. Your breakfast should be your lightest of your meals. If you want to go the extra mile and be lazy, I highly recommend Jimmy Dean Sausage, Egg & Cheese Croissant Sandwiches, each sandwich is 400 calories and one box has 4 sandwiches in it, so once more get 1-2 boxes for the week at this point you've spent between $10-$20 and eaten around 700-1.2k calories so far. It's not bad for a start, but im sure that tummy is still very hungry 😋. So let's move on to some lunch, and I know just the meal that will fill that gut! Starting off with your sides, you should pick up some Great Value Seasoned French Fries. 11 servings per bag with 140 calories per serving and only $3.75. As always, I recommend getting 1-2 bags like usual, of course, the more the merrier 😁. For your main meal, I recommend eating some nice and healthy American made burgers 😋, so grab some patties (recommend 20% fat 80% lean). The All Natural brand sells 12 patties per pack at $10! And if course you can eat a burger without buns, sooooo let's grab some big carb filled buns 😌. Great Value Jumbo Hamburger Buns should be the cheapest and most carb heavy buns you can get at only $2 (although you have to pick up 2 for all 12 patties). So let's have the final snack before bedtime, I think something light like walmart's famous Freshness Guaranteed Frosted Sugar Cookies should do, hehe 😉

In total, this should set you around 2.7-3k calories worth of food, which is more than enough to fatten up anyone under 200lbs

(The second part of this post will be about healthy gain, which I will post later today)

[pixelyssa]

Hiiiii! I just wanted to ask if you could share your favorite healthy food swaps? ps I love your blog sm!

hi bb 🩷 and thank you 💕

idk if the term would be “healthy swaps” because my mind is clouded with d1sordered mentality.. so dont cancel me if this isnt helpful 🩷🩷

-instead of sour/gummy candy, i take gummy vitamins. C,D,B12, Calcium, Womens Multi… ik a lot of people hate gummy vitamins because of the c4ls.. but even pills have c4ls. even vapes have c4ls. so im fine with it because at the end of the day when i want some candy, its like a sweet treat. (ofc you cant just snack on them like theyre real candy… you can only have usually 2 per day🩷)

-the brand Drizzilicious makes mini rice cakes. the smores is my fav, tastes like marshmallows and has chocolate drizzle. 25 pieces is 100 c4l. its my current fav snack. theres not much nutritional value so its not “healthy” but its pribably better than 25 real cookies? (they also make cinnamon swirl flavor yummmm)

-while on the topic of nutritional value. its tiny swaps that count. if youre gonna eat pasta, just make it protein pasta. if youre gonna eat a salad, have spinach in there, a healthy lettuce unlike iceberg lettuce which is just 0 nutritional value. lettuce wrap sandwiches vs buns or other high c4l breads. thats what i do atleast.

-the brand Yasso makes greek yogurt bars. the cookie dough one is 90-100 c4ls (i forget) per bar, it tastes like normal ice cream & its got a little protein? hell yeah. same woth the brand Clio. they make choclate or vanilla covered greek yogurt bars. 60-70 c4ls each & have protein aswell. THEY ALSO TASTE SO GOOD for when you have a sweet tooth.

thats reallt all i can think of right now.. but ik i have more. let me know if you want a part two 💕

xoxo

[summitprinter]

Pokimane's Cookie Addiction

Famous streamer Imane Anys, better known as “Pokimane,” had received backlash for the announcement of her newly created snack company, Myna. Critics claimed that her snacks were too expensive for their price and weren’t as healthy as advertised. So, to combat the controversy and advertise the brand, Ms. Anys came up with a brilliant strategy: Go on a Myna sponsored cookie diet for the year. As she announced her plan to her thousands of followers, many were either confused, intrigued, or just didn’t care. None of that feedback mattered to Ms. Anys, who was more bent on proving her snack project to be a success rather than a failure. Ms. Anys should be careful however; the line between ambition and hubris is razor thin…

Much time has passed since Ms. Anys had made her decision to eat only Myna branded products and it seems it has not gone well. Turns out that the cookies she has been gorging on for a year are surprisingly addictive. Less shocking is that eating nothing but high calorie, protein filled chocolate cookies tends to have adverse effects on the body. Yes, gone is Ms. Anys’ thin waist and tight figure, now only cellulite and stretch marks can be seen.

Too wide to go through any doorway and with no hope of ever losing the weight, Ms. Anys must now rely on hired help in order to function. It seems however that her maids haven’t been doing such a good job of taking care of Ms. Anys as they have instead found much more enjoyment from feeding and teasing Ms. Anys, who due to her size, can do nothing but accept her fate as a pile of lard to be played with. Of course since Ms. Anys’ inability to earn any income from both her streaming and snack career, her maids have done the honor of making her a fetish cam model star in order to cover their paycheck.

Under the name “Piggymane,” Ms. Anys has made quite the splash in the BBW cam girl scene, with thousands of viewers tuning in to gawk, laugh, and jack off at the once pretty streamer, now nothing more but a fat disgusting blob. With a portion of each donation going towards Ms. Anys’ increasing waistline, her career shows no sign of stopping soon. Ms. Anys of course isn’t pleased about any of this, but she’s far too fat now to stop it now.

As tears roll down her bloated checks, she wonders what could have been. Her daydreams of fantasy are smashed when the sound of a donation fills the room and a large tube is shoved into her mouth; Feeding time. She begins to cry harder as gallons of liquid lard flow through the thick tube into her tired mouth; each drop only causing her to grow larger. This was her life now. Nothing but forced eating and sexual deviancy. Reduced to a filth covered pig…

Alts: Clean

Clean and Crying

Sweaty

Sweaty and Crying

Slobby

Slobby and Crying

Slobby and Farting

Slobby, Crying, and Farting

[dragon-chica]

Wednesday Preference - Chapstick Kisses

Fandom: Wednesday

For @crispinablr, and for Kent's flavor :)

Xavier Thorpe: He just used something bland like carmex or burt's bees, got a Mountain Dew one once with Ajax and would say 'gamer fuel' and kiss, lowkey disappointed when it was gone. Once you introduce him to other flavors he is hooked, to the chapstick and taste of your lips.

Wednesday Addams: One time you asked to borrow some chapstick from her and she said she actually likes the feeling of her lips splitting from aching dryness. You called bullshit because she has beautiful, healthy lips. You kiss her and swipe your tongue across her lip and glare "Funny how 'dryness' tastes like pomegranate."

Enid Sinclair: You never know what flavor Enid's kisses will be today, she had a huge collection of chapsticks, always tries out the holiday flavors (stocks up on the hot cocoa ones), lots of desert flavored ones and strawberry and cherry. You finally understand why all the songs going on about cherry chapstick.

Ajax Petropolus: His go-to is the most artificially tasting grape that even lightly tints his lips purple, you've come to love the overly sweet smell filling your nose each time you go in for a kiss.

Bianca Barclay: She wears those pretty clear lipsticks that sometimes have glitter or a little flower in them, her lips are so glossy and smell faintly of vanilla.

Kent the Siren: He likes cookie flavored ones, especially chocolate chip. Always uses good brands, he got hooked on EOS and can also entertain his boredom by tossing and catching it. Also when he can find a good strawberry shortcake one.

Divina the Siren: She prefers a lip gloss, the glittery ones that tint her lips a little bit pinker. Loves seeing how it leaves a coat on your lips after kissing, but also holding your chin and carefully applying it herself while you watch her. She's also tried some of Bianca's.

Tyler Galpin: A little vanilla off-brand tube he gets at the convenience store and he laughs and offers it to you when you ask how his lips are so soft. Lifts his hand at the last second, still within reach if you really want it, and adds "Maybe you should just kiss me more?"

Eugene Ottinger: Burt's bees :) Then he started making his own as soon as his bees were up and running.

[zentriii]

written for the march foxglove editorial, inspired by this drawing by @noenoaholi and beta'd by @fish-with-more-eyes/mac

There aren't a lot of things Atsumu likes to ignore, but Kiyoomi’s abysmal cooking skills are certainly one of them. Not a single person with working tastebuds or a functional sense of self-preservation would trust Kiyoomi in the kitchen. For the sake of his sanity, Atsumu likes to pretend Kiyoomi wasn’t ordering takeout on the regular before they moved in together.

Although if there’s one thing Kiyoomi can be trusted with, it’s baking desserts and using a blender. Atsumu has no idea why those two out of everything, but Kiyoomi’s cookies are to die for and his chocolate milkshakes are delicious. He’d brag about this if Kiyoomi didn’t have the shitty tendency to mix it up and make healthy drinks too.

They’re pungent, vile and disgusting.

They’re not even easy to make, what with a million and a half ingredients and three thousand steps. Atsumu wants to puke whenever he thinks of how much energy Kiyoomi puts into waking up early and making it for him. Sometimes there’s a lump in his throat choking him up if he thinks about it too long. He shoves the feeling down ruthlessly every time without fail: he doesn’t want to think about it.

Most days Kiyoomi can’t even be assed to get out of bed until the absolute latest he can get away with. And whenever he can, he traps Atsumu there too with his stupid long legs and stupid warm cuddles.

He’s up early this morning.

Kiyoomi’s side of their bed is empty; Atsumu finds him diligently chopping carrots in their kitchen.

“Omi-kun,” Atsumu whines, wrapping his arms around his sadist of a boyfriend and doing his best to resemble a kicked puppy, abandoned outside in the cold rain. “C’mon ya made this yesterday. Do ya gotta make it so often?”

“Drink it.” Unfortunately his boyfriend’s the most stubborn person Atsumu’s ever met. He’s ruthless and heartless. Kiyoomi shoves the glass of green yuck into his hands. “All of it.”

Atsumu sniffs haughtily and graciously pinches his nose; he chugs it all down in one. It’s bitter and foul and Atsumu wouldn’t do this for anyone else in the world.

He pauses.

His mouth is filled with the most disgusting drink while the pieces click into place: he loves Kiyoomi. It’s so on brand for them, he can’t help but laugh a little. Atsumu tunes Kiyoomi’s complaints about what he finds so funny out, and gives him a little kiss over his moles.

He starts planning out the most dramatic way possible to break it to Kiyoomi in his mind. He’s a little nervous, but the urge to make Kiyoomi regret the day he ever thought dating Atsumu would be a good idea wins out. His itch for mischief drowns any fleeting feelings of apprehension easily.

Atsumu’s grateful he can still taste that nasty green drink for the first time. It makes keeping the smile threatening to break out over his face at bay. Kiyoomi calls it his plotting face. Atsumu’s more inclined to call it his moment-of-genius face. His fun face. He’d go so far as to say it’s his handsome face, but that’s just his everyday.

Kiyoomi’s never going to see his confession coming.

[interstellarsystem]

Abstract Plural Presences

You know how sometimes, certain people have a certain natural smell to them? Not necessarily unpleasant or unclean, just a thing that you smell and go "ah yes, them". Maybe you remember the brand of perfume they always use and it's forever associated with them. Maybe they use a certain shampoo. Maybe it's a food they cook so often in their house, it stays with them. Maybe it's just them. But there's a sensory thing that's strongly associated with them in some way.

We kind of have that with systemmates. Not a smell always, though. Not really anything more than a thought, or a feeling. An association with certain things, relating to people, but so raw that you feel an abstract emotion more than you really have an "association" or anything similar to a physical, tangible thing. It's just a raw feeling of the essence of your headmate.

-----

Merlin feels like the sun shining through leaves on a warm summer day, the way that the light dapples the grass below. A nice cool drink to go with it--a smoothie or something fruity.

Jayfeather brings to mind pebbles scattered amongst grass. Maybe a river ran through here once--the stones are smooth all the way around, and comfortably warm to the touch after basking in the morning light. You are resting after something stressful. The feeling of knowing what's right and fighting for it, knowing your community will have your back.

Byte feels like an old CRT TV screen. It's been sitting in the attic for a long while, but you don't want to get rid of it--there's too many fond memories. The smell of electricity mixed with blinking lights. Wires hanging from the ceiling.

Trip is the feeling of being far from home. You miss it, but you have a purpose here--wherever that may be. The colour of the sea, ever shifting and changing. An orb, glowing softly.

Vic feels like a forest--dark, and cold. The smell of wet wood that hasn't had rain for a long while. The silvery colours that moonlight seems to bathe everything in. There is no breeze, everything is eerily still. You're glancing around, making sure you can get to wherever you're going safely. The feeling of being alone at night.

Vince's presence, being a split from Vic, feels similar to his. The smell of wet wood is still there, but there's less of a forest and more of just darkness. But the darkness is watching, and it is calculating. Not necessarily malicious, but very, very focused on you. You are aware of how not alone in this darkness you are, but you can't figure out it's intentions. There is also a distinct feeling of bookshelves, bathed in soft light from a candle.

Lux feels like coming home after a long day out, and being greeted with freshly baked treats for you. The colour of amber, held up to the light. The smell of cookies.

Sil makes you think of the void, but not a typical one. It's not nothing, because the void in and of itself is a thing. Is it alive? You don't know if you're alone within it. There is a pinprick of light in the distance, and just as soon as you notice, it flickers out. The vague thought of chains hanging from a ceiling.

Silas's presence feels like the fear of being caught doing something you shouldn't be, and the rush of narrowly getting away. An echoing cavern, but you can't tell what noise is actually causing the echoing off of the walls.

Martin is like a cabin in the woods--far from anyone else, but safe and cosy. Maybe there are bookshelves lining the walls, plants healthy and alive on shelves, reaching for the dim afternoon sun through the window. The feeling of holding a warm beverage in your hands after a long day.

Exeller feels like leaves caught in a warm, spring breeze. A vague smell of mint--maybe mint tea? Small, white flowers amongst the grass. The smell of paper, and the feeling of warmth when you pick it up freshly from the printer.

Bluegaze brings to mind the golden colour of grass after it's been dry for a very long time. Sharing stories with those who were not around to witness them firsthand. The smell of dust and old wood. A barn, with a little white fence around it, slowly being worn away by time.

Crowley feels like a distant campfire in a field. You can't smell smoke, but you can see the warm glow on the horizon. It's dark, the sun has recently set, and it's getting colder. The breeze picks up just a little, but you know you'll soon be able to sit by the fire and relax. He also gives the distinct feeling of wings extending in order to take flight, every feather kept neat and clean.

Filigree is like a bladed weapon--a knife or a dagger--put on a shelf inside of a comfortable house to keep it safe. It's cleaner than it once was, and the light hits it in a certain way that makes it shimmer. It's been taken good care of to keep in good shape.

Sundown emnates darkness. A darkness lit by 100s of tiny, orange-glowing candles. You do not know how you got into this space, and you do not know how to get out. The expanse of void and candles seems to go on forever, with a faint smell of something you can only describe as electricity everywhere you go.

Mystery's presence is the feeling of being dizzy, the kind you get after spinning in circles as a kid for fun, full of laughing. Something sweet like candy, but a flavour filed amongst lost memories--you'll never remember the type of candy it was. A maze you can't quite place the shape of. A faint feeling of a sterile environment, such as a hospital--artifically clean, fake-floral smelling chemicals.

Fleety feels like a memory of panic, but long enough lost that the feelings are stale. A warm bed to curl up and sleep comfortably in. Dim lighting against a tiled floor, a rug placed over it to make it a little less cold.

Lure being around feels like a house in the middle of a desert. Just a single, lone house, amongst an infinitely flat plain of dirt and sand. The houses windows have no glass, and you can't tell if someone lives there. There are a few shrubs outside, and you have to wonder how they get enough water out here, and why they're only around the house.

-----

A lot of us give the feeling of a concept or group of concepts, one that's hard to explain without a lot of words. They're distinct and can only be described through what they bring to mind. Sometimes, the presence changes and someone might bring new associations to mind than the ones they used to, but as all people do, changes happen.

It's not something we see talked about much, if at all. We don't know if anyone else gets these feelings either, but we wanted to share anyway. We like the diversity of plural experiences, and wanted to share a little part of ours with this post.

[pretty-princess-4ever]

Low calorie vegetarian options 💕🩰

Amy’s minestrone soup: entire can/190 cal

Gardein Italian wedding soup: entire can/200 cal

Annie’s all stars pasta: entire can/210 cal

Annie’s easy mac and cheese: 220 cal

Uncrustables chocolate hazelnut sandwich: 210 cal

Sandwich bros egg and cheese pita: 170 cal

Garden chik’n sliders: 1 slider/ 190 cal

Veggieful pepperoni pizza pocket: 250 cal

Amy’s tofu scramble wrap: 280 cal

Amy’s samosa wrap: 270 cal

Morningstar breakfast sandwich: 200 cal

Veggies made great spinach egg white frittata: 1 frittata/70 cal

Annie Chun’s spicy miso ramen: 1 bowl/240 cal

Annie Chun’s udon noodle soup: 1 bowl/260 cal

Tattooed chef cauliflower pizza bowl: 1 bowl/230 cal

Birds Eye rotini and vegetables: 1 package/290 cal

Balanced breaks cheese and crackers: 1 package 160-170 cal

Stauffer’s animal crackers: 16 crackers/120 cal

Flavored pistachios: 1 package/120-130 cal

Spring roll and veggie sushi: depends on brand but usually low cal

Veggieful flavored riced cauliflower: 1 cup teriyaki/ 53 cal, 1 cup southwest/93 cal

Lean cuisine spinach and mushroom pizza: 360 cal

Healthy choice creamy spinach and tomato linguine: 230 cal

Lean cuisine spinach and artichoke ravioli: 280 cal

Healthy choice “beef” and veggie stir fry: 290 cal

Amy’s Moroccan vegetable tagine: 270 cal

Amy’s mushroom risotto: 230 cal

Kidfresh marinara pasta with cauliflower: 250 cal

Quorn “chicken”: 1 filet/60 cal

Owyn cookies and cream shake: 170 cal

Good karma chocolate flax milk: 100 cal

Lenny and Larry’s cookie protein bar: 160 cal

Clif builder mini protein bars: 140 cal

Morningstar pancake and sausage on a stick: 140 cal

Jimmy dean’s egg and cheese biscuit roll up: 2 roll ups/ 260 cal

[reve-de-sang]

for @vamptember, Sept. 13: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat (posting a day early bc i'll be away)

(x) A Pygmalion AU. Vampires Armand and Magnus weigh human Lestat’s potential outside a kill room. Armand has doubts. Magnus loves chaos.

--

“You’ve found another one.”

“It’s uncanny how you always know.”

“It’s your pallor,” Armand said. “They dial it back down. Tonight you look very nearly pink-cheeked. He must be a healthy one.”

Magnus’s lips flinched with a suppressed smile. “Well. I don’t mind saying,” he rasped, rearranging himself in the leather club chair, tapping his cigar in the ashtray. “I have outdone myself this time.”

“Really.”

“Honestly I can’t imagine finding better.”

“Oh, not this again.”

“No! I’m quite serious. Every box checked of course. Fit. Blond. Blue-eyed. That sort of…regal handsomeness…”

Armand sighed meaningfully and swirled his snifter of blood, warm in the palm of his hand.

“But also a combination of beauty, fight, and health that I had given up on finding. Most of all the fight. They’ll generally do anything by day two, but I’ve had this one almost a week and he hasn’t given up.”

“Pride,” Armand sighed.

Magnus frowned. “Drive.”

“Mentally unstable.”

“Well. By now.” Magnus chuckled, and Armand joined him conspiratorially.

“No,” Magnus protested. “It’s just drive, honestly. He’s so stubborn. So angry. Not in the swoon—hard to imagine anyone fighting that in the end—but every other moment. Determined to live, or go out fighting.”

Armand hummed. “I’m almost envious. Sounds fun.”

“You know you prefer yours broken.”

“Fair.” Armand lifted the crystal decanter of blood from its sleek electric warmer. “Top you off?”

Magnus offered his snifter and Armand filled it higher with fresh blood. Magnus sipped and smiled, his narrow tongue licking at his upper lip. “I’ve noticed your particular brand of kill imbues a kind of melancholy to your libations. Would it be fair to say the despondent are your favorite flavor?”

“‘You are what you eat.’ The despair pleases me somehow. And you, always seeking out those cookie cutter men, hoping they’ll fight back. Is it the sadism of crushing these hardy specimens that attracts you to this pattern? Or some twisted hope one will succeed in the fight against you, though I can’t imagine how?”

An unsettling smile stretched across Magnus’s face, revealing his toothless gums save his two fangs. “I want a champion. And Armand? This one is easily the best, no contest. I mean to turn him.”

Armand went as still as if time has stopped. “Magnus.”

“I’ve never had a companion in all these centuries. Not even the companionship of a maker, as you know.” Armand nodded. “I’ve been looking for the perfect one, and I’ve found him.”

Armand stared at him; the long silence between them would have been preternatural to any human observer.

“Magnus,” Armand began. “…You say you have finally found one you can’t break. And this is the one you will make into a companion. Against his will. Yet what you describe sounds more like…a pet. That you must lock up when unsupervised, lest he kill you. Are you looking for him to kill you?”

Magnus’s laughter rattled in his thin chest. “Although I do love the idea of danger again after all these years, no. This is about perfection: I could not have sculpted him better myself were I an artist, and were I a god to give him life.

“And who knows what he will become? The dark gift itself may win him over. It has its own alchemy. I love a challenge, and I have nothing but time.”

“Do you? The centennial is approaching. Akasha and Enkil would expect him in attendance. Do you really think they won’t send your boytoy up like a torch within seconds of meeting him? And you with him, for the insult of his making?”

“Please. Once he’s in the blood I can bring him to heel. I will present him at court and he will be a jewel that all will envy.”

Armand drummed his nail tips against the crystal of his glass, then set it aside on the table adjacent his armrest. He leaned forward slightly. “We barely care for each other, but I have grown used to you, friend. This is your reality check: I know you have a very exacting standard, and this one in particular has,” Armand waved a hand, “qualities.”

“You have no idea.”

Armand rolled his eyes. “Despite that? This is a passing fancy. Take another week, enjoy it. Then put it down and add it to your trophy pile. Otherwise after all these years you’ll be like the befuddled dog that finally caught the car; I don’t think your search is one that was meant to have an end. This will not satisfy, and you may well die for it, by his hand or the queen’s.”

Magnus set his own drink down sharply. “God but life has become boring, Armand! Do you not feel it! I think I would welcome the risk of death. To feel alive for a change.” Magnus slipped his hand into his inner coat pocket for his phone, and thumbed through his photos. “Let me show you what I mean.” An odd, soft smile bent his wizened mouth as he paused on one picture. He offered the phone to Armand. “To go out with style—that’s the dream.”

Armand slipped the phone from Magnus’s hand. Considered the photo.

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

Armand seemed infinitesimally pinker in the face than before, but it might have been a trick of the fire in the establishment’s hearth. Armand shrugged one shoulder slightly. “…Oh.”

“Yes, that was my feeling on the matter.” Magnus sucked on his cigar.

“May I?” Armand asked, thumb hovering over the screen to flip through Magnus’s gallery.

“Please do.”

He was silent for a moment as he browsed—there really were quite an array of photographs—swiping slowly, pausing occasionally. “…You really are quite perverse, Magnus.”

“I know.”

Armand pinched his fingers to zoom in, out. “Such a risk, banking on him coming to heel.”

“Well not entirely to heel, I hope.”

Armand ran a thumb over his lower lip, grazed one fang. He swiped leisurely through a few more pictures with his other hand. “…Would you like to bet on it? His passing at court?”

Magnus began to smile once more—the evening was possibly a record for smiles within the past century. “A wager. Life gets more exciting by the moment.”

“You have only three weeks until the centennial gathering. He has his charms, yes, but he will be completely green, will likely be an unruly child, and probably offensive and derisive about our culture. What is his provenance, by the way?”

If anything, Magnus’s smile increased. Unsettling. “Poor. Rural. Family was rich a generation ago, so they have pretensions to grandeur, but lost everything back in the crash like everyone else. So by our standards, and certainly Akasha’s: quite uncultured. He’s currently an actor.”

“Jesus, and you know how emphatically I say this, Christ.”

“Isn’t it delightful?”

Armand’s look was withering. He slid through a few more photos. “The terms of the bet will be—oh my.” Armand stilled on a picture. Casually crossed his legs.

Magnus glanced at the phone. “Oh you’ll like that series.”

Armand slanted his eyes to Magnus. “Are there videos?”

“Private folder. Possibly another time.”

“Hm.”

“Actually had to give him a transfusion after that. He cries so beautifully; I’d gotten a little excited. Took forever to hose the room down.”

“You’re so elaborate,” Armand sighed, actually raising his eyebrows at the next few pictures. “I don’t know where you find the energy.”

“Give that back,” Magnus smirked, holding out his hand for the phone, and Armand relinquished it.

“The terms of the bet,” Armand restated. “Now: obviously you are going to die on November 1, and will thereafter be unavailable to make good on the wager.” Magnus laughed. “So we’ll need to bet on something just before that. Ah.” Armand smiled. “The ball, of course. October 31. Akasha and Enkil won’t be in attendance, so you won’t die immediately, but you will still be a laughingstock.”

“And by what metric would we judge that?”

“True, you’ve never been popular,” Armand mused. Magnus was unoffended—he took pride in his black sheep status.

“So…Marius and Pandora. If they take a shine to him, you’ve won the bet,” Armand’s mouth twisted, sour.

“Oh, Armand.”

“Shut up. He is an insufferable gatekeeper when it comes to Akasha. This is perfect. We’ll leave it to Marius: if Marius chastises you—or worse—then you’ve lost. If he simply shuns you or is ambivalent, then you’ve lost. Your fledgling is to be a “jewel,” remember? To win it must be nothing less than endorsement.”

“Stakes?”

“Hmmm. If you lose, I think I’d like to spend the rest of that evening and that following day in the private company of your fledgling. He does have…qualities.”

“But it would’ve been our final hours together,” Magnus said with dry sarcasm. “How sad.”

“Better make the preceding days count.”

Magnus chuckled. “Fine.”

“And if you win?”

“Well, obviously I would live,” Magnus said. “And I would have the best companion of our kind. And the triumph of showing up all the pompous vampires who have unanimously looked down on me since my creation. Present company excepted, of course.” Armand gave a nod. “So I don’t know that I could want for anything more. Winning would simply be its own satisfaction.”

“How boring for me.”

“Perhaps I will call in a favor at some later date?”

Armand drummed his fingers on the tight leather of his club chair. “Nothing extravagant. But yes. If you win.”

—-

Just as the sun was rising, Armand received a text from Magnus; no words, only a photo. Magnus’s fledgling lay dazed on a bloodsoaked bed far more richly appointed than the white-tiled kill room featured in many of Magnus’s photos.

The pure blue of his fledgling’s eyes had iridesced in the vampiric change to take on an additional slight pale violet quality. He seemed to have been washed and groomed before his turning, though he had previously been beautiful even disheveled and abused. Armand knew better than to think Magnus had applied a filter; of course his fledgling’s complexion had now become luminous.

“Congratulations,” Armand texted, and lay down to sleep.

[samble-moved]

everytime i see a post criticizing pmmm charas im like...you know if they had none of these flaws you hate so much, they'd get branded as unrealistic, one dimensional mary sues, yes?

if madoka was selfless without being a "crybaby", if homura was 100% normal acting (despite her trauma), if kyoko was a nice and sweet girl from the get go, people would then complain that there's not enough personality diversity and that they're boring, or that the portrayals of trauma aren't realistic enough.

think about the logical extremes. people call madoka too emotional and a crybaby. so madoka could be selfless, but never show any serious emotion, ever, even if 99% of the time when she cries it's because of things like her friends dying. homura is creepy and cold due to trauma? let's ignore the effects that trauma has on irl people to make her act 100% like she did before all of her trauma, ignore how people irl are changed by it. sayaka is too untrusting of homura and "died for a boy" and was selfish? sayaka should accept any and all shady people as trustworthy, not feel bad that her lifelong friend was permanently unable to do his favorite thing, and never have her own desires, because having your own wants is selfish and evil. kyoko is too mean? let's erase her trauma, again, because mean little girls are clearly too much for an audience to take. mami is too prone to breakdowns and is fake? again, let's ignore her canon trauma, because people with ptsd and mental illnesses are clearly evil.

in such a show, people would then, instead of griping about the current personalities, say that 1) the characters aren't realistic for not reacting to their trauma, 2) the characters are too similar and/or one dimensional, and 3) they're really boring.

making all the characters the same good, palletable, perfectly mentally healthy (despite trauma) cookie cutter personality would be rightfully criticized as being boring! but when they...show realistic reactions to trauma and act like their canon ages (middle schoolers) with different personalities...people get mad that they act realistically. there's no real way to win for people who's hate for pmmm as a whole boils down to "madoka is a crybaby, homura is cold and creepy, kyoko is mean, etc". because if these traits were taken away, they would then say the characters are boring and unrealistic.

[raineyana]

What is your normal grocery list? I’m about to be living at a dorm and I am looking for stuff to stock up on, I can’t really keep frozen foods though

i actually dont even cook all that much so i dont keep a lot of frozen foods either. this is my regular list when i go, usually weekly.

FASTING FOODS

okay so youre probably like. raine you arent supposed to eat anything when you fast. hear me out bc this is how i consistently fast a 20-4 schedule everyday, with a lot less binges than before, AND getting all of the benefits of fasting. and yeah, i still binge from time to time, but my binges are far less because my stomach actually cannot handle being fed over 1000 calories anymore, especially not all at once.

these are my ESSENTIALS so theyre pretty much the only things i consistently buy weekly.

cucumbers

chicken broth (0cal kind)

seaweed snacks

pickled ginger

tea (any, but i like trying new flavors ! my favorite is lemon ginger because it helps digestion, and green tea because it speeds up your metabolism. also a lot healthier than diet coke with the same amount of caffeine, also less likely to spike your blood sugar and kick you out of ketosis- which will make your cravings for food much worse)

...dont get me wrong i couldnt live without diet coke. but sometimes ill go for the healthier option.

why i eat these foods while i fast

these are foods that have extremely low cals and carbs (like less than 2 grams per/serving) so they wont kick you out of ketosis (which is the major benefit to fasting, where your body burns fat at a higher rate). when youre in ketosis, your body stops sending you as many cravings, which is why sometimes it feels easier to fast 24 hours after you last ate as opposed to 3 hours.

because i spend the majority of my time fasting, (and i would never be able to do that without these foods) i go through these items pretty quick.

but otherwise i only have to buy other healthy foods on a biweekly or even monthly basis, because i wont eat them as fast ! heres some things i rotate through depending on how sick of them i am lol.

regular food

built bars - essential for me. tons of protein, less sugar than other bars, and relatively low cal.

somebody on here introduced me to these and im soo glad they did. i dont remember who but if youre seeing this ilysm.

tuna creations packets - rly good for on the go, tons of flavors, lots of protein so they're really filling for only being 70-90cals depending on the flavor

blueberries + apples - so hard to over eat these two items, plus fiber

rice cakes - self explanatory

pistachios or sunflower seeds - great for curbing hunger, but im a little sick of them rn

a low cal air popped popcorn - i forget which brand i have rn, but its pretty good and has a lot of fiber.

chobani yogurt + yogurt protein drinks (50cal) - the fact that these r 50cals amaze me for how good they taste. the yogurt drinks are my favorite bc theres actually a shit ton of protein and taste pretty good without actually having to make myself a protein shake. the cookies and cream and peaches and cream are my favorites ive tried. good for breaking a fast with.

thats all i can think of atm ! sry for the fucking essay i hope this was a little helpful at least.

typing this out manically made me realize im a little crazy. i cant say with my whole chest that you should listen to me and my d1sordered thoughts, but i think everyone on here knows that already so... uh

please be kind to yourselves. take ur vitamins (even while fasting) i genuinely love you all every one of you fucked up bitches like me.

goodnight <3