#headmate appreciation post

[uncannylesbianism]

Guys I Love My Co-Host So Much She's Super Pretty And Amazing And Literally The Best WTF This What Is The Loveliest Ever 💕💕

[speedysoda]

Faceclaim for Me, a Rewrite fictive! Very happy with how it turned out.

Btw- yes this post is edited. Yes this used to be tagged as a kinsona. But then syscovery happened and we figured out that I’m a whole ass separate person. So we’re correcting this now.

[kingxgarm]

King Magnifico stimboard with a glitter theme

🔵 - 🔵 - 🔵

🔵 - 🟩 - 🔵

🔵 - 🔵 - 🔵

[snowglobe-system]

Shout out to plural allies. Like. Genuinely. We love y'all. It's so rare for a singlet to really Get It, and oftentimes even after we come out it feels like we're still in the closet. So shout out to singlets who listen and who do their best to understand and who make the effort to treat us like individual people. We love you. We appreciate your efforts a lot more than you probably know.

[carnage-cathedral]

no but Homelander is right my headmates are cool and awesome and you should follow them if you follow me because they are cool and my friends and also :3

[sureuncertainty]

we've been fixating on TMTOU even more lately due to the stress of being home which means Emma's been around a LOT more, she's kinda become our go-to member for just. popping in to make sure we're doing okay and taking care of ourselves and i love her and appreciate her so dearly for that <3

[secretsinthevoid]

Can’t do something cause anxiety and the urge to cry, spouse willing to do it no problem 🥰. Active headmates immediately jumping into action to help before it could become a problem 🥰. So thankful to have the support that we do.

-Elara

[thepatchworksys]

actually you know what . appreciation post bc as a traumagenic system who splits involuntarily, frequently, and with a lot of less developed alters, i look up tulpamancy and willogenic practices and it helps US !!! it helps those nondeveloped headmates to feel more like people!!! so!!!!! thank you for that!!!

NO SYSCOURSE ON THIS POST ILL KILLLL YOUUUU

[a-sip-of-milo]

Need a reason to live?

Recently, I made four polls with eleven reasons to live in each. Most of those reasons were given to me by people who have also been suicidal in the past, and I decided to compile them into one long list (plus some) for anyone who needs it to come back to when they're out of reasons to keep going.

⚠️ Disclaimer: Please do not turn this into one of those "ALWAYS REBLOG IF YOU SEE" posts. Thank you. ⚠️

Relationships

Your furry companion(s) (this means pets and friends who are furries <3)

Your friends

Your family

Those who look up to you

To reconnect with someone you haven't seen in a while

Your headmates (specific to those who are apart of systems)

There's someone who isn't around anymore who would want you to keep going

To eventually be a mentor to someone

To make sure your animals never have to sleep alone

To fall in love

Your partner

To meet your online friends/mutuals

To tell your mentor/the people who raised you with kindness that you made it

To see someone close to you through their final days

To make it big enough to eventually provide for those you care about

Your FP (personality disorder specific)

Group photos with your (found) family and friends

To help your friends do the same

The friends you've yet to meet

A promise you made to someone special

Acts of kindness

To be there when someone needs you

To see someone smile because of you

To make a stranger's day a little brighter

To hand out compliments to those who need it

To make the world a little bit better before you go

To treat the people around you the way you wish you'd been treated

To be the one person in someone's life who is there unconditionally.

To help someone you love to quit an addiction

To do charitable deeds

Affection

Hugs from someone you trust

Kisses from a partner, close friend or pet

Cuddles when it's cold/lonely

To laugh until your stomach hurts

Forehead touches

To hold someone so tight that they're wheezing

Doting on people when they're feeling down

To make the people around you laugh

Interests

That new game/movie/show/book/album/etc. that you’ve been waiting for

Telling everyone and anyone who will listen about your special interest/hyperfixations

To share creations that aren't appreciated enough

To save up for something that would make life more bearable

To finally complete a collection

Projects would be left unfinished

To travel

To complete a project you've been working on for a long period of time

Projects you've yet to come up with

To start participating in special interests you've had to put on hold

To laugh at the creations you made when you were younger and less experienced

Those who consume your work would never get to see another creation of yours

Spite (because I think spite deserves Its own section:))

To stick it to your abusers

To prove your younger self wrong

To prove the people around you wrong

To prove your younger self right

To prove the people around you right

To spit on the grave of someone who hurt you

As a big 'fuck you' to the world and everyone in it who tried to silence you

To outlive your enemies

To do something that you've never been allowed to do (get a piercing, tattoo, cut or dye your hair, etc.)

To show off your success to the people who doubted you

To make sure whoever hurt you doesn't win

Milestones

You've got a milestone of some kind that you'd like to reach before you go

To see your (future) children reach a milestone of their own

To see a birthday you never thought you'd make it to

To graduate from school

To see your wounds from self-harm heal

To experience old age

To get married

To recover from your eating disorder

To experience independence

To start/complete your transition

To go on your first date

To get your first job

To adopt a child and give them the life that they deserve

To rescue a pet and give them a home

To purchase your first car

To rent/purchase your first house/apartment

To have your first child

To lose your virginity

To experience the joy of knowing you escaped/got through a bad situation

To eventually publish your own book/art piece/etc.

Miscellaneous

To finally get diagnosed with something important

So if nothing else, you can still say you survived

You have a bucket list you'd like to complete

To live because you want to, not because others want you to

Comfort drinks with someone you love

You wrote a letter to yourself that you can't open until a certain date/birthday

Those rare and valuable pieces of media with good representation of a minority/marginalised group.

To read through past conversations with people and cringe/laugh/cry.

All the different foods you've yet to try

To see the world become more accommodating to those who need it

To watch the seasons change

To celebrate the holidays

For those days where you do feel okay, perhaps even good

To eventually replace the stuff in your closet with things that represent who you are now

To read back on journals and diaries you made when you were younger

If you are not in a place where any of these help, that's more than okay as well. It will be here if and when you ever need it. Being suicidal can be extremely lonely and scary and we all deal with it in different ways.

If you have your own reason and you feel comfortable sharing it with me, let me know via asks or DM and it will be added as soon as I can 💞

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

Hey, I read your post about the harmful impact of saying "going nonverbal" and the like. As a low-needs autistic person who has speech loss episodes, it was really helpful in educating me on circumstances that I never considered, and I really appreciate that!

I have a bit of a question, and if you feel uncomfortable answering for whatever reason, feel free to delete this ask. I also apologize in advance if I say anything disrespectful, and if you can correct me on those things I will be glad to hear it so I can learn to be better.

I have DID and therefore am part of a system. We are all autistic, though we each showcase symptoms differently. Some of our alters showcase symptoms more severely than others, in that they cannot speak and cannot communicate their needs because of various reasons (severe dissociation with body, trauma response, etc). Since I now know nonverbal isn't an appropriate term for us, I'm wondering if you have any thoughts on how we can describe those headmates. I'm not sure if they fully fit saying that they have "speech loss episodes", because they are fully unable to communicate at all times (even with the rest of us), though they are not always "in the driver's seat" of the body, so to speak. What do you think would be an appropriate term for them? (I know this might be a bit out-of-bounds of your experience as it's more about dissociative disorders than autism, but if you have any insight, that would be great! I definitely don't want to be using the wrong terminology.)

Again, apologies if this is in any way disrespectful. I see now what you mentioned in your post about how true nonverbal folks are drowned out by folks with speech loss episodes, so I figured it would be best to ask you directly, but if you are unable to answer for whatever reason, feel free to delete this ask! No worries.

We hope you're having a nice day!

no worries, not out of bounds for own experience

yep, you exactly right that alter / headmate / system member / etc who can’t mouth speak in system that can mouth speak, is not nonverbal. even if feel like or is own separate person, even if don’t have so called body verbality because so blendy. — just like how alter who can’t hear in hearing system not Deaf, how darker alter in white skin system not Black or Brown or Asian etc. (though these also continue be issue in system community) — n really glad you noticed (genuine)

personally find best n clearest say “[alter] cannot speak”.

have heard people try coin new adjective identity words for this experience. can look those up if want, but for me they 1) too many n confusing n new n thus inaccessible to keep up so don’t, 2) niche micro label which have its purpose n you may or may not find useful, but in situation of limited communication n time, give unheard of term you then have to define take more time n effort than just quick “can’t speak”, 3) some of them suspiciously way too close to “nonverbal” “nonspeaking”

thank you for question!

[genderqueerdykes]

extremely fascinating that I'm seeing folks posting, disappointed that you "turned out to be" pro endo, when your pro endo posts go back to 2022???? this isn't a new development????

sorry that other folks are incapable of being normal about people with opinions that don't match theirs, please picture a ridiculous video of a cat on a skateboard as compensation

i guess not every person has been following me since then and i do understand that i only speak up on it sporadically when it occurs to me, but yes, correct! i've been pro endo since the very start of this blog! i'm glad you acknowledge that LOL

this is not a new development in the slightest- i am here to support all plurals. i've been friends with endogenic systems my entire adult life. why would i be here to spit in their faces? like i guess i haven't mentioned it all that much but i've been friends with a TON of different endogenic systems over the course of my time in the otherkin and online plural communities. why would i attack my friends?

idk why people think that dissociative plurals and other plurals can't get along or be friends, but i've literally been friends with more endogenic, natural and spiritual systems than i have other dissociative systems. not intentionally, but it's how the cards fell. like idk why people would assume that because i have DID, it means that i could never, ever support or be friends with other kinds of plurals, but it's dead wrong

that's why i'm not holding back on discussing my stance on the matter. treating non-dissociative systems like shit simply for existing is perpetuating the cycle of abuse. i don't *care* that you have trauma, it's not an excuse to attack someone else. you can't let yourself take someone else's identity personally like that. someone just sitting there being themselves doesn't deserve death threats. dissociative plurals and endogenic plurals are holding hands and learning each others' headmates names and eating pastries and watching the sunrise together. we are on the same team- we are friends, siblings, family, and lovers.

thank you for this message, i appreciate it! take care of yourself!

[speedysoda]

Ehhh so hey!! Faceclaim for me, your local Curse fictive. This is what I look like in headspace!

Btw- yes this post is edited. Yes this used to be tagged as a kinsona. But then syscovery happened and we figured out that I’m a whole ass separate person. So we’re correcting this now.

+ some FNF sprite edits below the cut

[jrwi-eldritchstrings-event]

Eldritchstrings Event Sign-Ups Open!!

Hi! Are you looking for some Apothy fun in these trying times of no new Apothesosis episodes? Wanna get together with other toxic yuri fans to make something swag? This post is to let you know that sign-ups are now open for the Eldritchstrings Event - an event centered on Exandroth and Rumi!!

This event is solely being run by @burning-sol (me) and @exandr0th-0f-viscera (my headmate). It probably won't be that large-scale, and we'll be kind of loose with management as we get an idea of what the members involved want from the event in terms of development and a final product. Our biggest rules are to HAVE FUN and TRY YOUR BEST!! If you don't feel like you're having fun, then this event is officially so joever.

If you're interested, please read through everything after the cut, the Sign-Up Form's link is at the end!! Sign-ups close November 16th.

Who can join?

If I've blocked you that's probably a bad sign... Obviously. But other than that, no limitations we can think of! Just know that Xander and I are pro-endo and pro-mspec lesbians; so if that gives you the impression you wouldn't gel well with the group, it's best to steer clear. All we ask of our participants is that they'll...!

Communicate clearly, and consciously try to take others in good faith.

At the least tolerate their cohorts if they can't outright get along with them.

AND, most importantly, they'll reach out to us if there are any issues!! It is no bother and it's actively better for the collective if you're open about anything that may have come up :3

What's the estimated time frame?

Sign-Ups close November 16th! ..however, the time frame for development and publishing will be up to participants to decide - with that process of consultation concluding before 2025.

At the LATEST the deadline for the works themselves will be July 31st, which will leave time for the editors to finesse the final product and publish it August 27th... (the anniversary of the first Eldritchstrings post!) So if you think you could make something by July 31st, even if you're initially busy, join the sign-ups!

If you miss it you will NOT be let into the event late, unfortunately. But no worries, because if the event goes well then there's a high probability another will be held in the future! :D

What contributions are we looking for?

Firstly, anyone who can help with visual design, editing, accessibility and publishing otherwise would be appreciated! There's also room for people who have general experience overseeing events and/or those who would like to help with promotion.

There will also (potentially) be groups, so if all you wanna do is hang around in case a pinch-hitter is needed, you can do that!

In terms of those submitting work to the event, ANY form of art goes! You may want to submit something like...

Fan-fiction, poetry, essays..

Illustrations, comics…

Banners, blinkies, icons…

Moodboards, stimboards, webweaves..

Textiles, cosplay, photography…

Edits, animations, PMVs, AMVs…

Original music, playlists…

Coding, games, 3D works…

Or whatever other weird and unique things you can think of…!

Romantic, platonic, situationship... Angst, comedy, abstract works, complete bullshit… Canon, non-canon, post-canon, somewhere in between… All is welcome so long at it centers on Exandroth and Rumi!!

Our ONLY limitations are that we will NOT be allowing any erotica, and no portrayal of genitalia in terms of artistic nudity! If you are otherwise unsure your work would be allowed, feel free to ask about it!

Also! Works that are exclusive to the event would be super cool, but you can submit older art or continue to work on something from your already existing WIPs if you'd like! The only catch is that you wouldn't be able to resubmit those to any future events... So if you're okay with that, go on ahead!

..and that's about it!

Make sure you've read over this and any relevant posts on this blog thoroughly. Participants will gather in a Discord server, the invites of which will be distributed via Tumblr PMs from this blog. If you're chill with everything stated above, here's the sign-up form!!

-> SIGN UP HERE <-

Note: We will not be personally promoting this event to other social medias, but you have our permission to share this sign-up with Twitter, Instagram, Tiktok, etc!!

[cddboxes]

[Text ID: This alter/part/headmate/system/collective is scared of the dark]

Feel free to use it with or without credit, but reblogs and likes if used are very appreciated!!

[Please read pinned post before interacting]

[prose-among-the-trees]

Begging screaming crying shitting pissing pleading for the internet to understand that DID is not an “alter disorder,” it’s a complex dissociative disorder.

My parts are a result of the trauma I went through and the dissociative behaviors I got in the habit of subconsciously to cope with trauma and abuse.

I am parts of one whole. Unless you and I have some sort of understanding or are quite close, you will not see me inform you about a switch or another part being out and about. This is for my safety.

I still have a CDD if I cannot participate in build a headmate (good god) posts, fictive appreciation posts, source calls (which I find particularly insidious anyways), and system anonymous ask games.

I am in therapy to cope with the trauma and the dissociation. I am not in active communication with every one of my parts, and the communication I am in with a few is not nearly as extensive as the community describes alter relationships as. I don’t know how to be “buddy buddy” with every piece of myself.

I really wish the internet never got a hold on CDDs, which is hypocritical since it’s the only reason I’m diagnosed and in treatment, but hear me out.

Did has become an online game. Medical professionals are publishing papers on the rise of sociogenic illness. I’ve known multiple people in my online and real life who have seen my did and decided to fake it as some way to fit in and be Cool and Fun and Interesting. I have known people to actively use the idea of splitting introjects as a manipulation tactic to keep others in their lives. This is disgusting behavior that all stems from the social currency of being ill online.

I’m so sick of it. My disorder is not fun and games. It’s not a joke, it’s not a way to use people. It’s debilitating for me.

For all the people who might reblog this and talk about “oh well maybe it’s agony for you but I like it!!” Cool. Keep it to yourself please. I’m glad you’re doing well enough to be in that spot; this post is not for you.

If it’s not glaringly obvious I’m anti endo so if endos wanna come and give me their two cents I’m not going to care. Call me a hater I don’t give a fuck.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for headmates who are trying their best to fulfill their roles!

Roles are a very common occurrence in many systems. Roles and jobs allow different headmates to serve a purpose and help their collective function overall! But having a role is definitely not always easy. So if you’re a headmate who’s been struggling to fulfill your role, this post is for you!

🏵 Shoutout to headmates who are new to their roles or new to life in general and are still figuring things out!

🌷 Shoutout to headmates who feel that their role doesn’t suit them so they cannot perform it as well as they’d like!

✨ Shoutout to headmates who struggle to fulfill their roles due to disability or neurodiversity!

☁️ Shoutout to headmates who dedicate themselves to performing their roles to the best of their abilities, even when it’s hard!

🏵 Shoutout to headmates who love and embrace their roles, even if they don’t come easily!

🌷 Shoutout to headmates who have lived with their role for most of their lives but still have difficulties fulfilling them!

✨ Shoutout to headmates who have opted to cast aside role labels and frameworks for their own benefit and the benefit of their whole system!

☁️ Shoutout to headmates who struggle with consistently fulfilling their roles, or find the duties that come with their role easier some days than others!

🏵 Shoutout to headmates whose roles are just hard - the conflict managers, symptom, pain, or trauma holders, gatekeepers, or any other headmate with a role that is difficult no matter how you slice it!

🌷 Shoutout to headmates who are struggling to fill in a certain role in order to help out another system member!

✨ Shoutout to the disorganized managers, forgetful memory holders, exhausted hosts, clumsy caretakers, and other headmates with traits that make their roles more challenging!

If you’re a headmate who often struggles to complete duties that come with your role, please know that you’re not alone! It’s okay to struggle and to find things challenging, and that doesn’t reflect poorly on you at all as a member of your system or as a headmate with that particular role! It’s okay if you sometimes need help with your role from someone inside or outside your system! You still deserve to be uplifted and cherished as you are, even if you don’t meet others’ expectations regarding your job within your own system.

With practice and time, your role may come easier to you… but even if it doesn’t, remember that you should be loved and accepted just the way you are! Your efforts are seen and so appreciated, and your life has value and inherent worth even outside of your role, job, or tasks you perform. Please try to take it easy today, treat yourself with a bit of gentleness and compassion, and have a wonderful day!