#he's such a lil shit is2g

[celenawrites]

fake marriage with Ghost on my mind rn...... 'marrying' Simon for a mission or maybe for protection, going undercover with him as you pretend to be his wife and he pretends to be madly in love with you....the domesticity that follows, the way he has his hands on your back as a protective gesture....the way he lends you a jacket when he notices you're cold in your flimsy little dress.....the way he's never had as much fun as he had with you, in a fake marriage of all things.....he cannot help but imagine what it'd be like if he actually was your husband....the fact that you make him wish, yearn to be yours......

[zantedeschia-praesul]

"Hi yourself, babe~"

Saseki doesn't stop his little ministrations, even going as far as kissing up his jaw and finally leaning close enough to kiss him full on the lips. He lets it linger just a little longer before gently pulling back with a sigh.

His own hands go up to wrap around Yuichi (or at least trying to in his position), nuzzling his neck the same way Yuichi would every so often. "Mmm I know you're cozy, but we gotta get up soon…or at least I gotta…"

Unless...

"...wonder what it takes to wake my clingy boyfriend up, hmm?" And he starts kissing his neck and collarbone again, this time sneaking a few harmless nips here and there.

As there was no further indication that Saseki might leave the bed, Yuichi had already started to laze back into slumber. So when he feels Saseki's lips along his neck, the groan he lets out is clearly barely awake.

He struggles to open his eyes, but even so his increasing consciousness is evident by Yuichi's arms tightening some around him, before one hand moves up his back, just reacting to the sensation. The almost-ticklish feeling of the kiss to his collarbone elicits a little shiver from him, and he finally gets his eyes open juuust a little.

"Mmm... Hello..."

[robotsrawesome64]

heyy!! I just found your acc and you look pretty cool and i’m lowkey interested in your cod matchup!!

some stuff :

i’m 5”6, I have shoulder length curly brown hair, i’m midsize girlie (thick thighs save lives my friends)

I crochet, I love reading but i’m in a reading slump rn so it’s not it

i’m quite sarcastic when I can be, I do like to think i’m nice?! but I can be a cunt so you know take that as you will.

i’m english! midlands girlie so my accent is shite

and I have a leopard gecko called hercules after the disney film <3

LMAOO of course pookums, thank you so much Everyone here is so nice is2g /pos

I matched you with….

SOAP!!!!!!! SOOOAPPPPP!!!!!!!!!! or gaz but for this purpose SOOOOOOAPPPPP 🧼💧🌊💙

W: all implied/off-screen consent, manhandling(carried), (implied flirting in a) drinking environment, soap drinks a lil implication, dog kill shelter mention/ euthanasia waiting list (the dog was ok they were just on the list before), childhood (late/died happy of old age) doggy conversation, slight domestic intimidation (playful, but jealousy+ is man), in order but vague/gaps

The first time he saw you across the room his stare lingered before his mate patted him out of it. Oh- yeah, right. He was a little nervous, but he thought this would be fun.

And when you talked with others, he'd glance to poke his head over at your social vitality.

Greeted you like he would anyone else on the team. Respectfully, heartily offered a hand out to dap you up with a nod, a smiley glint in his eye.

Thank fuck, someone else with a normal accent. All these Horrible Histories-ass team members. When you got misunderstood once Soap just bumped your shoulder in camaraderie. "Hah! See Ghost, ye eejit. Ye can't even recognize yer own- it's not just me, yer just due hearing aids at yer big age."

Would 'casually' invite you out to hit a pub with a group on downtime in case you weren't invited already.

He'd exhale and shrug his shoulders seeing you across the room, trying to psyche himself up to approach you. Be normal, MacTavish.

You both worked under the Allegiance, your unit a flexible help/home-base support to use for specialist brigades like Task Force 141.

Soap had always kept an eye out when he walked past your worksite. One day, he noticed you working late, swamped with gun repairs that'd fallen hard off cargo transport.

"Wanna bet I can fix that?" He pointed to (for him) an intimidatingly complex mess of parts. "If I win, I can take you out. Or- I can just have your gratitude. Ladies choice." He nodded his chin up as he spoke to pretend he wasn't shitting himself internally.

If you agreed he relievedly sat down next to you, double-taking at some tools he didn't know how to use before just using his hands for the most-part. He studiously re-assembled (?) the parts- with some definite back and forth- with surprising swiftness. Any of your teasing just made him playfully curse back at you and work harder.

He...made..something? It looked like it worked, but definitely not OSHA certified. Would definitely have to take this verdict to the judges.

Makes the highest pitch noise you've heard him make as he leant towards you to look at your phone. Holy shit: lizard. Uh- gecko, right.

"Ah, handsome fucker isnae." He peered with focused breath.

Aye, Hercules? Suits him. Oh-! No fucking way. He put his finger up, urging you to wait as he whips out his phone to focusedly scroll for something, swaying as he stood. Waaait. Waittt..

Here. He leant down close over your shoulder. A picture of a Shetland sheepdog (that glam long-hair orange, white, black short-medium herding dog).

"Ariel." Uh-huh. He leant on his hand now on your seat behind you in-between scrolling to more pictures of her. "Designer adult dog in the shelter 'caus her last owner couldn't hack her. Lively, good eye, biter: perfect. Was on the kill list. I begged me mam for her." He swiped to a picture of kid him beaming, hugging her. "She kept me in shape better than any Sarg. I was gonna call her Shit Nugget or something, but mam wouldn't let me, so I settled for my favourite princess instead." ("Mermaids are fuckin cool.")

Soap rubbed your shoulder. "Ahh, c'mon. I'm sure the little guy'll survive without its mam for a bit."

"Tough seeing them grow up, huh?" He offered, tilting his head playfully before he searched your face, trying to think of something: "-Besides, you got a hercules right here." He joked, making a show of backing up to pat his scarred bicep.

"No? Yer breaking my back, lass.. Hmm.." He decided to stand and tried to cross his eyes to impersonate a gecko, I guess (??). So embarrassing. "Whats the difference. Thas right, indistinguishable."

Uses your shoulders as an arm-rest when standing in public in front of your team, pretending to be oblivious to your protest.

Would absolutely throw you over his shoulder for shits and giggles, or if you got too smart with him. Easy. Would obviously pretend to wobble and cackle, before adjusting your weight over his shoulder again and casually pretending to go about his business (to prove a point of just how much of a non-issue it was for him).

In-between deployments he'd lay back on your cot behind you, leaning on his elbow to try and precisely comb out/untangle any knots while your hair was still damp. He'd faux curse under his breath to himself and sit up, adjusting and getting you to sit 'properly' in front of him so he can do a better job. To attention please; this was a matter of pride /j.

When he comes back from work sore and groaning exasperatedly, he insists on cuddles whilst you're focused on crocheting. He climbs onto your bed situation and lays with a huff hugging your waist.

Remarks and looks over each crotchet project wholly whether it's half done or finished. " Waa!! Look at this wee fucker." -Shows it off to everyone.

"Ah yeh, my girlfriend, she can make all sortsa shit. She's like a lego character from those wee lego games."

Rolls his eyes to himself when he sees you staring at the others, sneaking up on you and leaning down to hug you over your shoulders.

His head lowered next to yours: "What're we looking at?" He'd question faux-softly.

"Uh-huh?" He follows your eyes to Ghost. "No. Be real lassie, thassa grim Christmas."

After he was finally reassured by a sufficient back and forth with a threateningly teasing tone he lets up, lulling his head to the side. "Yeah? Aye, that's what I thought. Atta girl." He kissed you on the cheek and released you.

He'd weaseled his way into your life, and you weren't too mad about it. He was your..weasel?

~divider by v6que (tumbr)

~soap:3 by JimMiIton (pinterest)

[flaringgoosebumps]

The fact that romantic dates are always foreshadowing something sad

Mike asks El to the snowball? She died (she came back tho❤️)

At the lil snowball dates?? Mind flayer be watching

Make out date? Then movie date? Same episode? Bruh shit finna go down

Billy and Karen ((puke vomit puke)) boy gets possessed instead

Hopper asks Joyce for date?? Bitchboy is stealing people and turning them into monster turds

ALEXAI IS KILLED ON HIS DATE WITH MURRAY #rude #homophobic

Joyce asks Hopper on a date? He fucking "dies" too (still lives #zombiedad)

El and Mike's lil roller rink date?? Death of their relationship annnnd shit went down with it too.

Lucas and Max plan date? She "dies" (better fucking bring her back is2g)

Anyway👀 why they do this

[queer-quester]

Spoiler Warning for like almost all of the second episode of Starstruck Odyssey

OKAY SO I have no one I know who watches/cares about this and the first episode was hard enough but I've gotten to a certain point where I need to express my fucking bullshit internal monologue at all this nonsense so I'm sending it into the Tumblr void, starting with:

IS HIS REAL CHARACTER THE FUCKING PARASITE IM GONNA SCREAM

Rip anyone who was really attached to the Skipper lmao

I can't believe everyone was like wow, Zac is getting to unleash his inner cunt, just like with Lapin, he's breaking the mold from his usual character type- NO! xD we get that for one episode then back to lovely, slightly off but very amicable characters, Zac cannot play just a straight asshole for an entire campaign it's physically impossible the universe won't allow it

God they know, they KNOW the skipper has been body-jacked or some shit and they do not give a single fuck coz by god that funky lil parasite is so much nicer xD

The value of kindness my dudes lmao

"Can we have *insert ridiculous and/or dangerous thing here*?"

"OkAy" *shrugs*

"Roll an insight and deception check against yourself"

Ally: 'do a hotness roll?'

Brennan: *does a hotness roll, winces*

Brennan: 'shes stunning'

'im not gonna brush my teeth tonight just to feel something'

'i psychic dump ✨the feeling of being myself✨ onto you'

'i want to be able to want something without needing someone else to want it too and without thinking of a practical reason'

Cool welp I'm gonna go cry in a corner but everything is fine, Emily how dare you.

Take a shot everytime Brennan says 'want' if you want to die of alcohol poisoning

'gunnie doesn't really own anything because anything he owns is taken by the people he owes money to' LOU IS2G MAN

Do you think like the D20 team were seeing all that love for Skipper after the first ep and just 👀😅 because they knew the second episode was basically just gonna be 'yeah so actually he's a dick, fuck that guy'

(Like I ain't mad at it personally tbh, I think loveable assholes should be loveable in the context of the universe they preside, not just from an outside perspective and like I get it was only one episode but he wasn't seeming too loveable tbh with the way things were going)

Parasite!Skip just saying 'youre important' to Margaret?

IM SOBBING, I love him

You gotta love the like classic 'abstract alien perception' thingie Brendan and Zac have going like, "there is a build up of some internal secretion in your lower appendages" Brennan, my dude, my guy, what the FUCK does that mean xD

Brennan: "You can see your eyes are getting kinda bloodshot"

Zac: "Oh am I forgetting to blink?"

Brennan (who definitely meant he's getting tired): 👀😈 "give me a check to find out"

THE SECRETION IS LACTIC ACID IN HIS QUADS COZ THE DUMB BITCH HASNT SAT THE FUCK DOWN

I love this, truly a crew full of dumbasses and Margret who is I think getting dumber by association, yes, this is how it should be

YES SID! ENJOY YOUR EXPLOSIONS BABY I LOVE YOU!

Right on!!!

I could listen to Mr Mulligan describe fantasy planets all day man, yes please tell me more about the blood red gas giant with swirling diamond dust I'm utterly enamored with this good good visual imagery caressing my brain

(channels Zelda) YES 👏 SID 👏 FEEEEL 👏 IIIIIITTTT!!!! 👏

I would fucking die for Sundry Sidney my poor baby (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Margret's Reddit account:

One post of really important whistleblower documents totally exposing her company and calling for a revolution

Another post (only a day after the first one) that is just a neck down nude selfie

*Guy selling sandwiches asking if Riva has a mouth and a butthole*

The cast: oh no it's a sex thing!

*Guy coming to the conclusion that Riva can eat a sandwich*

The cast: oh, it's a… sandwich thing?

Someone teach Riva about lying please, the poor babey

Put your tongue AWAY sir (can't believe I was saying that to Lou and not Brennan xD)

(Not that Brennan kept his tongue in this this episode, I think I'm just desensitized at this point)

Gunnie on a high is a delight

THE 'MY FARTS SMELL AWESOME' CLIP FROM THE TRAILER WAS HIM COVERING FOR AN (EXPENSIVE) PERFUME BOMB THAT SID UNLEASHED!?

'we didn't take names coz we didn't ask them'

The commitment to them all making it so much worse. I've never seen a group of people collect so many disadvantages on their rolls by just being unapologetically ridiculous

The sudden fucking SWITCH between them all cry laughing at the table and then Brennan saying that one thing about the Barrys and Murph's face just drops, all signs of joy VANISHED

Okay I know we've never met this Princeps Zorch but I think Margret should date them

OH!? Lucienne is nearby? 👀

JUST THE THREE OF THEM CLOBBERING A GUY THAT HASNT EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO STAND UP

He managed to make one (1) dramatic threat then they all fuckin beat the shit out of him xD

Episode ends and their ship is still utterly fucked, beautiful

If I sounded insane this whole time i blaming it on the fact that the episodes released at midnight for me

[igbylicious]

AKSDJASKJD ISAK Σ>―(〃°ω°〃)♡→ i will follow you into any battle, fight on any hill, i will peel oranges and catch any spiders in your home for you uwu

for real it’s SO FUN to see the fic and this Woosan through your eyes!!! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) ♡ these types of reactions really are like a lil window into someone else’s experience reading the story, and i am really really soft at the view you give me ;; (and also giggling and smiling nonstop asdkjdajkdsa)

ahhhh i’m gonna pluck out a few reactions where i had Coherent Thoughts; for the others pls know i am keysmashing and giggling making heart-eyes at you asdkjadsjk!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘BLESS you for giving Wooyoung red hair that’s the good shit!!!!!’ halazia era Woo changed smth in me is2g lol

‘LET HIM CUM!!!!!!!’ reader really laid the orgasm denial on poor San right from the get-go, huh? (｡╯︵╰｡)

‘i love that he’s so direct and just Goes for it, absolute legend.’ lol Wooyoung saw a window of opportunity and dove right through! i like to think he had a feeling that San would never ever have the guts to talk to reader abt anything sex related ever again if she walked out that door askdjasdjk

‘he only has himself to be accountable for here, and it’s a delight to see him be so free :’)’ Isak this made me so dang soft ;; and a lil bittersweet too haha, sometimes it’s a complicated feeling stanning the guys — but yes this take on Woo is living his best unapologetic free life!!! askjdasdjk i just love that lil menace of a sweetheart guy a whole bunch (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

whichever way [woosan x reader] pt 1

pairing: woosan x f reader

rating: 18+

genre: smut, fluff-ish, neighbours au, friends with benefits

summary: You accidentally walk in on your neighbour having sex with his boyfriend. The boyfriend has an interesting suggestion.

wc: 2.4k

ch. warnings: accidental voyeurism, exhibitionism, dom San, sub Wooyoung, established Woosan, m x m, anal sex, finger sucking, degradation, cumming untouched

a/n: features a soft-bodied, aromantic reader who uses she/her pronouns

masterlist. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Choi San is the best neighbour you’ve ever had.

He is always kind and polite, he lets you hang out with his cat Byeol whenever you like, hell, he even accepts your packages when you’re not home (and doesn’t steal them). One time he even got you groceries when you were sick, going as far as to make you some soup and check in the next day.

And, the most telling fact of what a considerate neighbour San is; despite the paper-thin walls of your apartment, you have little noise complaints, other than the rare moment when he gets too caught up in his online games in the middle of the night.

Well. No. No, you have to scratch that last one, actually.

The lack of noise was only until he got together with his current boyfriend. After that, everything changed.

San first met Jung Wooyoung a few months ago, and the two have been all over each other ever since. You’ve only seen Wooyoung a few times, but that is enough to know that his personality is as loud and lively as his bright red hair, and clearly that translates into the bedroom.

But the thing is, you can tell that they are trying to keep it down, and you like San too much to rain on his parade. Especially with how well things are going between them, and Wooyoung is never anything but friendly to you.

So; noise-cancelling headphones it is.

(Honestly, your biggest complaint is that you wish they didn’t sound so hot doing it. It’s making you feel like a bit of a voyeur even though you don’t mean to listen in, every muffled moan testing your self-control to not just grab a vibrator instead of your headphones and rub one out in tune with their sounds.)

(It is one part decency that holds you back, and one part the fact that paper-thin walls go two ways, and you don’t know how you’d ever face San again if he heard you in turn, enjoying yourself to the show he obliviously puts on with Wooyoung.)

But you live in blissful silence this week, since San is out for a trip with Wooyoung. Visiting family in his home town, and it was adorable how excited San was about the trip when he told you. Things are going fast between him and Wooyoung, but it seems to work for them. He also asked you to take care of Byeol while he was gone, a task you were all too happy to take on.

This is what brings you to San’s apartment today.

He and Wooyoung are set to return tomorrow, so it is your last evening of feeding the cat. Keys jingle in your hand, and the apartment is quiet as you step inside. San keeps his place tidy, fairly minimalist with plenty of black and white — but there is enough decoration to keep it from feeling bare. A large collage of photographs hangs on a wall in the hallway; pictures of his hometown and of holidays, friends and family, even one of the taekwondo school where he works. On the photo he is huddled together with a group of young students, all wearing big smiles, San’s the biggest and proudest of all.

You can spy more signs of Wooyoung’s increased presence in the living room; the amount of games and controllers by the TV has doubled, and there’s a bottle of soju tucked away in a cabinet, along with a bomber jacket strewn over the couch. (Huh. Was that there earlier this week? You must’ve missed it.)

You hear a muffled thump.

“Byeol?”

The noise repeats itself and you frown, trying to locate the source. It seems to come from the bedroom — did the cat get herself locked in there?

Concerned that Byeol has somehow gotten herself stuck, you head over to the door. Your hand is already on the handle, pushing down, when a small meow pipes up from behind. You turn your head, only to see Byeol stare at you with her big blue eyes.

…Huh. Hang on… If Byeol is over here…then what is…?

But that thought has no chance of reaching its logical conclusion before the door is already opening, and what you see in the bedroom almost has you drop the keys to the floor.

Wooyoung and San.

On the bed.

Where San is fucking the living daylights out of Wooyoung.

You freeze at the sight; Wooyoung is completely naked, but San is behind him with only his jeans unzipped and jerked down far enough for access. San has Wooyoung pulled up against his chest, burrowing his face in Wooyoung’s neck to bite and muffle his groans.

Now you understand why you didn’t hear them; Wooyoung’s mouth is stuffed with three of San’s fingers, drool escaping from the corner of his lips. Reduced to little hiccuping moans instead of his usual noisy whimpers. His body is jostled in time with San’s hard thrusts and his hard cock is fully on display, flushed and leaking. The sheer desperation on his face is lewd, tears gleaming in his eyes and drool trailing down his chin, his bright red hair sweaty and — oh god, is that a new eyebrow piercing?

San is so lost in his goal to litter Wooyoung’s neck with lovebites that he does not even notice you, roughly fucking into his boyfriend with no idea of you standing right there — but Wooyoung’s tearful eyes widen when they catch yours.

You can’t help a choked moan at the moment of contact, the view too much for your frazzled brain to process, but your noise is drowned out by Wooyoung’s desperate whine, garbled around the fingers stuffed in his mouth. It pushes him over the edge, convulsing in San’s hold as his cock twitches, spilling long, messy ropes of cum on the bedspread.

You are vaguely aware of the fact that your mouth has fallen open, but your body refuses to move, refuses to do anything but stare while San chuckles, holding up Wooyoung’s trembling body in his strong arms.

“That desperate, huh? Look at you, I never even touched your cock at all. Is that all it takes to break you, a week without getting dicked down?” San says — your sweet, polite neighbour San — his voice tight from the effort of snapping his hips, betraying how close he is himself. “What a needy mess you are, all fucked up from just my cock.” His fingers slip out of Wooyoung’s mouth, coating his boyfriend’s face with saliva as he goes in for a rough kiss.

Wooyoung shakes his head before their lips can meet, croaking out a weak, “Sannie…” and nudges his chin at the doorway. At you, still frozen in place.

San turns his head, eyes finally landing on you.

“Shit!” he exclaims, nearly dropping Wooyoung onto the bed. Somehow he manages to catch his boyfriend and pulls out, covering Wooyoung with a blanket. Then he quickly tucks his cock away in his pants, ears glowing with a furious shade of crimson.

It’s very difficult to ignore the fact that San is still hard, but you try your best. Not that that amounts to much. Finally the pornographic audio that plagued you for weeks is paired with a visual, and you were not prepared.

To see their bodies so intimately entangled, San’s muscular frame wrapped around Wooyoung, his nakedness leaving nothing to the imagination. Lean body, thick thighs, San’s hand splayed across his stomach, fingers brushing close to Wooyoung’s flushed, pretty— nononono don’t think about that. Don’t get distracted don’t get distracted—

San clumsily shuffles off the bed, and finally you jolt back into action just as he does. Both of you stammer awkward apologies at each other, not giving each other a chance to finish.

“Shit, I totally forgot to text you—”

“I should have realised you were back when I saw the jacket—”

Wooyoung, who is slowly recovering from his orgasm and making himself comfortable on the bed, looks far less thrown by this turn of events than either you or his boyfriend. He has his head tilted to the side, listening to your frantic exchange with the amused interest of someone following the back-and-forth of a tennis match. (A clumsy, comically amateurish tennis match, where both players keep fumbling the ball.)

“I am so sorry about all this—”

“No, I’m sorry! Usually I can hear when—”

Oh fuck. You throw your hands in front of your mouth, forcibly cutting yourself off from the words “when you two are having sex,” but it is too late.

San’s eyebrows shoot all the way up into his hairline, eyes wide with shock as realisation hits that they haven’t been as discreet as he’d assumed. Dammit, of all the days for them to finally get a lock on volume control!

An awkward silence lands in the room.

San grimaces, running a hand through his sweaty hair, while you find yourself contemplating the pros and cons of just turning around, leave the apartment and find a sea to walk into until you can no longer see the shore. Pointedly avoiding eye-contact with both of the men, you notice a half-unpacked suitcase in the corner, and it reminds you of why you’re in San’s apartment in the first place.

“So. Uh. How was your trip?” you blurt out. (What? Who in the world asks that, right now? Why do you keep saying things!)

Yet somehow you appear to have stumbled into the right move; San is so caught off-guard by the casual inquiry that he just goes along with it, running on full auto-pilot. “Oh. Yeah. Good, it was good,” he rambles, while Wooyoung quietly snorts a laugh in the background. “Bit too much rain, that’s why we left early. How’d it go over here? Did Byeol behave?”

“She’s had a rough time of it, honestly. One of her favourite mice got trapped behind the fridge. It was a tragedy,” you say, pinching the bridge of your nose with a dramatic shake of your head. “She was inconsolable until I managed to fish it out.”

San relaxes at your goof, testing a smile on his lips. “Woah, you’re a bona fide hero!” he teases.

“Damn straight! Iron Man’s got nothing on me,” you say, pulling out a reference you know San will appreciate.

He does; his smile is still abashed but a telling dimple pokes in his cheek while he leads you out of the bedroom. The breaking of tension floods you with relief; things will be okay between you. You don’t have to move to a different country to escape the sheer embarrassment of what just happened. Maybe it will be awkward in the hallways for a few weeks, but then everyone will (pretend to) forget all about it and you will be fine.

“Hey,” Wooyoung chimes in, just as you’re crossing the doorway to the living room. “Did you like the view?”

Instantly, you freeze all over again.

Wooyoung is lying on his stomach, resting his chin on crossed arms. Bare legs stick out from underneath the blanket, bent at the knees as his feet swing back and forth in the air; he looks at you with the deceptively wide-eyed innocence of a coquettish femme fatale.

“Well? Did you like it?” he presses when you utterly fail to answer.

“Woo…” San says, a warning in his voice.

“What?! I’m just asking cause it seemed to me she liked it!” Wooyoung protests. “I liked it. We can be honest adults about this, right?”

“How are you being adult about—?”

Someone interrupts San. To your surprise, it’s you.

“…I did like it.”

Maybe Wooyoung’s boldness is contagious. Maybe your brain just isn’t working right anymore. But honestly, what’s the point in denying it? You’ve already dug a hole this deep for yourself; might as well lie in it.

“Oh god,” San groans, hiding his face in his hand. “Is this really happening right now? Why is this happening?”

“San, we’ve literally talked about this!”

“Yes, we talked! In private!”

Hang on, what? They…they talked about this? What does ‘this’ mean? The someone watching them have sex part? The you part??

“So? The next step is talking to her, right?” Wooyoung says, his face going stubborn. “She likes the view, we like the audience, what’s the issue?”

…Oh. It is both parts.

You blink numbly; you are still trying to process the scene that you’d walked into, and now you’re immediately forced to process the next twist of the day.

It’s not that you’re completely shocked by an interest from San of any kind; you did catch him checking out your ass with enough admiration to know he’s not a full six on the Kinsey Scale — or at the very least an equal opportunist when it comes to the appreciation of a fine-looking ass. (Not that he ever was creepy about it; no more than a discreet, appreciative glance.)

Of course, he never acted on any attraction that he may or may not have had towards you, before he and Wooyoung got together. And neither had you, since you aren’t exactly the ‘dinner and a movie’ type of person — and you didn’t want to be too forward about other less romantic activities; why risk ruining a good thing when a helpful, friendly neighbour like San is so hard to find?

But now, with all this new information on the table, a very clear answer to the question of ‘why ruin a good thing’ presents itself, and the answer is quite compelling indeed.

San takes a deep breath, sighs out, and composes himself. “Alright, alright, Wooyoung. You have a point.” He turns to you. “Um—”

“Hey.” This time, Wooyoung is the one who interrupts San; he looks straight at you with the serious expression of someone who is about to impart an absolutely crucial piece of information. “You know, San thinks you have a great ass.”

“Oh. Yeah, I know he does,” you blurt out, running a self-conscious hand over the curve of your rear. All mental filters have abandoned the conversation, apparently.

San begins to stammer again, but his words are completely overpowered by Wooyoung’s loud, cackling laugh. “Cheer up, Sannie!” he says, still half-laughing and absolutely delighted with every turn of event that has happened within the last ten minutes. “I think this will work out just fine.”

You catch San’s eyes, trying to estimate just how on-board he is with it all. The burn of his embarrassment does not exactly fade away; instead, its heat gradually morphs into something else, a darkening smoulder in his gaze as he looks you over. His eyes linger on your hand, still resting on your ass.

Wooyoung is right. This will work out just fine.

[jackrrabbit]

🤍 Haikyuu WIP excerpts

preview post for hq because recently i showed sara a list of my works in progress and she laughed at me and then made a dn joke like this is 2015 or something. we got:

🤍 communal property /// ushijima x f!reader x tendou 🤍 sunshower /// atsumu x f!reader x osamu 🤍 corporate ethics /// kuroo x f!reader

anyway these are all terrible first drafts and i'm not sorry. however i am very very into these pieces and if you're interested in seeing them finished, you should tell me fr fr

🤍 communal property /// Ushijima x f!Reader x Tendou

Summary: Tendou shares everything with Ushijima—his food, his dorm room, even the AVs he likes. Why not his girlfriend, too?

Tags/warnings: poly relationship in progress (only you and Tendou are dating at this point), mild suggestiveness ??, s*ze k*nk

Status: 10k words written (holy fuck lol) out of ~11k total? this bitch better get finished is2g

After the match, your voice is hoarse from screaming but you still manage to yell congratulations for your boyfriend when you meet him and Ushijima outside the locker room in the stadium. You’re pumped on the adrenaline of the game, so you don’t even protest like you usually would when Tendou picks you up in the middle of your hug and lifts you off the ground effortlessly. “How was I? Awesome, right? I told you we would beat them!”

“You did, you so did—“ Even though your throat hurts, you can’t help gushing about every rally, every soul-crushing block, every impossible spike. “—and then the guy on the left thought he was clear to shoot it but you just—“ You throw your arms in the air and mime hitting the ball down like a blocker. “Wha-bam!—and the look on his face! I thought he was going to punch you!”

Tendou laughs and lays a sloppy kiss on your cheek, just as thrilled as you are by the win. “You really liked it that much? I thought you weren’t into sports.”

“I loved it! You were so cool! I can’t believe I’m dating someone so cool!” You wrap your legs around his back and hug his face close to yours, reveling in the fact that this weirdo belongs to you wholly and entirely, that you get to have him to yourself (well, other than his roommate). “And I’m not into sports, I’m into you.”

Tendou smiles in a way that makes the sides of his eyes crinkle up and little red patches bloom over his cheeks, a look that says, I like you so much (Y/N), I like you I like you I like you, except he’s probably trying not to be mushy like that since Ushijima is standing off to the side.

You feel a little bad for ignoring him (no one likes being the third wheel, even if he never shows signs of caring) so when Tendou sets you down you turn to Ushijima. “And you! Holy shit, Tendou said you were good, but I didn’t know you were that good. The ball when you hit it was super loud—honestly, how are your hands okay? If I hit it that hard I’d probably break something.”

“My hands are fine…this is normal for me.”

But just because you’ve got them here in front of you and you’re still pumped from the exhilaration of the win, you can’t help grabbing Ushijima’s hand and flipping it palm-up to inspect. True to his word, there’s no redness, just the calluses he’s built up on his long fingers. “Wow.”

“You don’t need to worry about Wakatoshi,” Tendou tells you, grinning and then making a face. “He’s a monster, he can handle it.”

“No kidding. You’re both monsters.” You put the base of your palm up against Ushijima’s to gauge the size of his hand against yours, and without prompting Tendou grabs your other hand to press against his own. Tendou’s fingers are a bit longer, but Ushijima’s are…thicker, more solid. Your hands look like a little kid’s in comparison. “Can I be honest? Half the time I was thinking I actually feel bad for the other team. If I had to take on both of you at the same time, I’d probably cry.”

You’re (mostly) joking, but it’s still a complete shock when you see the side of Ushijima’s mouth curl up a tiny bit. You’ve known each other for months at this point, but you’ve never seen him smile until now. Half of you is wondering if this is some kind of optical illusion caused by the atmosphere and the dim light of the stadium cutting through the evening, but the other half of you enjoys it. You made Ushijima smile. You did that.

“Don’t sell yourself short, (Y/N).” Ushijima says, tipping his head to the side.

“Yeah!” Tendou chimes in, resting his chin on top of your head and folding his arms around your neck from his place behind you. “I’m sure you could take both of us. Right, Wakatoshi?”

So that’s probably a sign.

🤍 sunshower /// Atsumu x f!Reader x Osamu

Summary: [Kitsune AU] You find an old Ō-Inari shrine in the woods that may not be as abandoned as it looks.

Tags/warnings: Shinto religion, this preview is biased toward tsumu oops, yearning/soft vibes

Status: 3.9k words written out of 5–6k? total

Atsumu was the one who found you.

That’s how he likes to talk about it, that he found you, like you’d still be wandering around lost in the woods if it weren’t for him. Osamu thinks you would have found your way back home eventually but Atsumu likes it better this way, this framing that makes it seem like they saved you.

It’s hard for him to tell time linearly the way humans do but you mention once that you’ve known them for a year and that seems to fit. It’s spring now, almost barely tipping into summer, and it was spring when Atsumu found you. He remembers because of the way it was raining: light and tender, a summer rain early in the season, each little drop tapping off a leaf and then rolling into the forest bed to be eaten up by the grass and the soil.

Atsumu likes the rain, likes the sweet earthy smell it makes and the way the plants look so lush and green and alive, like they’d bleed if he sunk his teeth into them. He was out in the woods because of the rain ('Samu was in the shrine, as usual, attempting to set buckets under the millions of holes in the roof so the rainwater wouldn’t pool and rot through the wood underneath). But Atsumu was half asleep in a tree when he heard you crashing through the undergrowth, tripping over ferns and snapping every twig in your path (thought ya might be a bear, he tells you later, that’s how loud ya were) but he wouldn’t really have woken up if he hadn’t heard you singing.

(The odd thing is, you weren’t actually singing. You remember that day as vividly as they do: the warm, humid air making your skin feel sticky under your yellow raincoat; the tiny raindrops filtering through the canopy and kissing your cheeks; the ink feathering out on the damp xerox of the old map you found in your great-aunt’s attic so you could barely make out the “X” that was supposed to mark the location of the lost Inari shrine… You were cursing how stupid you’d been to go on a wild goose chase into the mountains with no cell service and no marked trail to look for a shrine that no one had seen in decades. You definitely weren’t singing.)

But Atsumu remembers it differently. No matter how many times you explain that you were just talking to yourself, when he replays the sound of your voice back then (reaching and lilting and falling, the way the birds talk to each other in the early morning, except the music of it was poured into syllables and words), it sounds like you’re singing. He wasn’t sure at first, hadn’t heard a voice that wasn’t Osamu’s in so many years that he gets tired counting them, but then he saw you push into view from between two bushes and he thought, a human!

A girl, too—it was hard to say at first because you were wearing that weird, slick jacket of yours, so bright yellow it was like an oversized flower blooming out of the grass, but then you tilted your head up to feel the rain on your face and the hood fell down and he knew. Not just a human, a girl! Atsumu wanted to yell for Osamu, make him come and confirm that there was a person wandering around not a mile from the shrine. A real person! Singing and smiling and wiping the rain off her cheeks (does that mean you like the rain, just like he does? did you come out to feel it too?) But he also wanted to surprise Osamu so he hid his tails and his ears and came down from the tree and asked if you had lost your way in the forest, since you were so far from any path…

When you think back on this yourself you’re amazed that you just went with him: a strange boy (man?) wearing a fox mask and traditional Shinto priest robes, which were somehow pristine white and red despite him having appeared from nowhere in the middle of a dense forest, who told you he had no idea what direction the village was but he could take you to the Inari shrine you’d been searching for…well. Maybe you were too surprised to be wary, or maybe you were just exhausted and lost. But you like to think you had a sense of it even then, the irrational belief that the boy in the woods was not just a boy in the woods.

Atsumu thinks you knew. Humans always understand, even when they try not to… He remembers, he took your hand that day in the forest and you saw that the claws on his fingers were too long to be human, and you said nothing because on some level you already felt it. Your skin was cool then, smooth and damp from the rain; he wanted to stop, run his hands up your arms, touch the places on your face where your mouth had been turned up at the corners and press his fingers into your cheeks.

🤍 corporate ethics /// Kuroo x f!Reader

Summary: [Office AU] The new junior marketing associate just happens to be Kuroo’s favorite camgirl, and he’s having trouble keeping his hands to himself.

Tags/Warnings: boss/employee, businessman!Kuroo as a reformed player, camgirl reader, this excerpt has a lil bit of 18+ content 👀

Status: 1.2k words written out of 4k? words total

Kuroo doesn’t watch porn.

It’s not, like, a moral principle or something. He has nothing against pornography. As far as he knows, it’s perfectly normal for single men. He just doesn’t like it…unless it’s you.

When he was in school it was easy. Being a teenager meant being so flooded with hormones that a warm breeze could get him up, and the adrenaline rush of winning a game was better than any big-titted porn actress faking moans into a shit-quality boom mic. Sure, he watched porn back then (what teenage boy didn’t?), but it was more out of curiosity than necessity. It was all kind of a mystery at that point, the way it can only be when you’re a clueless virgin and you and all your friends are too busy practicing for the next game to get girls.

Somehow Bokuto was the first one in their friend group to lose his virginity, and the memory of the dumbass self-consciously describing the experience has been lodged in Kuroo’s brain for the 10+ years since. “It was…I don’t know. She smelled good. You know how girls always smell good?” Bokuto’s hands twitched and his face was pink. “It’s just really…soft.”

Soft was right, Kuroo would reflect when he got laid for the first time a few months later. Soft, warm, wet. Sex was awkward at first, but before he knew it it was more natural than breathing.

It didn’t change much after high school, either. He didn’t get into volleyball for the groupies, but they didn’t hurt. There were girls when he played for his college team, more girls when he joined a business frat, so many girls he couldn’t keep track…they blurred together after a while. It didn’t take effort. You don’t need game when you’re 6’2 and you’re in the gym 40 hours a week, and you definitely don’t need porn.

So he never got into it. Now that he’s promoting volleyball instead of playing, things are more complicated. Kuroo’s never been the type who expects things to fall in his lap, but there are so many rules when it comes to dating in the real world. Good morning texts, anniversaries, flowers, parents. It’s exhausting. One time—seriously, just one time—Kuroo misses his girlfriend’s birthday to go watch a Jackals game, and the next time he sees her she throws her drink on him in public and keys his car. After that, Kuroo decides that until he’s ready to settle down there will be no more girlfriends. Which means no more reliable sex. Which means resorting to porn.

Which means you.

You, batting your eyelashes at the camera and biting the side of your lip. You, purring and mewing like a kitten. You, lying back on your pretty pink bedsheets in your pretty pink lingerie, sliding your hands between your legs. It takes Kuroo a full month to decide to pay for access to your website (Kenma’s unsolicited recommendation) but it takes less than five minutes for him to upgrade access to premium. You look like a wet dream—no, you look like the centerfold of every dirty magazine Kuroo managed to get his hands on when he was younger. Pristine and alluring and so deliciously out of reach.

And you make it so simple. No delicate emotional games with rules Kuroo never bothered to learn. No pretending to care how your day was. You untie the little bows on the side of your panties and lick your fingers and Kuroo just has to take his dick out and watch you. Getting off hasn’t been this easy for him since college. You’re a camgirl, you exist on his computer screen, and that’s how he likes it.

Which makes it a lot more awkward when Kuroo finds out that the only woman he’s gotten off to in the past…year, maybe?…somehow just got hired in JVA’s sports promotion department as his junior associate.

Your prim work blouse is buttoned up to the collar and your makeup is different, but he knows it’s you. You have to tell him your name twice because he’s too stunned to respond the first time, and even then he can’t summon up more of a response than a curt nod because his mouth tastes like dirt.

You smile a little awkwardly at his cool reception, and the hand you’d extended out to shake swings back down to your side. “Um, the guy at HR said he sent up my info yesterday…I’ll be working directly underneath you?”

Directly underneath me. Kuroo is taking a sip of his coffee when you say this. He doesn’t spit it out, but it’s close.

[beepbeepmfkr]

.

[thetypingpup]

idk there's something about yangyang bouncing around and being a lil shit that makes him MORE squishable. some catty little remark and i wanna pull him over and ask him to try saying it again fjdjsjsn he's such a little imp sometimes is2g

(so in conclusion? yangyang pinchable. with consent ofc)

Yangyang extremely pinchable. Honestly impish is a pretty accurate way to describe him 😅. His bouncy energy and witty words just make him so adorable I love him. Just wanna snuggle and kiss him and make him giggle is that so much to ask 🥺

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 10 - Tywin Lannister called, he wants the Rains of Castamere back & once again, Foxglove cheers when someone gets shanked

Hiiiii! Welcome to episode 10 commentary! I’m doing this one right after episode 9 because for once in my life I started on this early enough in the day I can get more than one single episode in. Hope you enjoy!

Before I descend into several “wtf is wrong with this guy” rants, let me point a funny to y’all. The corpse that WWX checks for pupillary changes is not only breathing, you can see his carotid pulse jumping on his neck.

Ok done.

WHAT THE FUCK THAT’S A LITTLE GIRL WHAT THE FUCK.

Fuck this creeper oh my god. I know he’s supposed to have a tragic past and be cute and charismatic but I just want to shush him every time he opens his mouth.

(XXC truly looks like an elven prince doesn’t he)

Aaaaaand WWX gives zero fucks about your dramatic exit stage right.

He also gives zero fucks about the fight to the death happening right in front of him, I mean, why would he when he can flirt with LWJ instead?

Speaking of said fight, I really hope they sped up the footage of them spinning through the air, because if whatever machine and harnesses they used truly spun them so fast I feel for the actors/body doubles.

Hey XXC that’s your boyfriend right there!

Today is really not XY’s day is it.

(That disgusted face WWX makes is pretty much a visual representation of what I feel when XY tries to be cute. Seriously)

SHUT UP XY MY BOY IS HAVING A FANBOY MOMENT.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but he’s got a point. Not in this case, because these five are actually good people but the rich and powerful are indeed a bunch of hypocrites. *Softly plays Eat the Rich*

LWJ is a hairsbreadth away from slapping XY out of his faux-innocent act and I can’t say I fault him tbh. And WWX is fucking smug because he is the king of being a little shit and this amateur got nothing on him.

Is Zhu Zanjin wearing eyeliner or are his eyelashes actually that incredible?

I’m making pained noises because I keep wondering what would’ve happened if WWX had asked XXC for help after people mounted a witch hunt against him and why do I keep doing this to myself?

WWX: *talks about his boyfriend*

JC: *eyeroll*

Oh my god this bit is so painful. You can see how starved WWX is about finding the smallest connection with his mum and my soul hurts.

And LWJ’s face watching them go. He’s probably just realised this was a dream you could have, and there it is, walking away. I’m gonna go make myself some tea and eat some cake or something, I deserve it after all this emotional turmoil.

(Aaaaaaand there goes XY being a fucking creep again)

LOOK AT MY TWO LIL CUPCAKES BEING FUCKING ADORABLE WHEN THEY GET PRAISED. LOOK AT THEM.

We’ve already established that I have the survival instincts of a concussed lemming but NMJ is a dude I want to get into a shouting match with. I don’t dislike him or anything and he’s badass, but watching this is obvious a five year old with an attitude can push his buttons. And he’s both a political leader and has a whole baby brother to take care off, you can’t allow yourself to get so angry you contemplate murder in your living room my dude. Furthermore, I know his way of cultivation makes him even more unstable and prone to Qi deviation; but instead of finding a way to work around that this idiot is ok with dying young and leaving everyone who loves him fucking devastated. Because why? It’s the way of his clan? It’s traditional? It’s honourable? Fuck that, no wonder NHS dislikes sword fighting so much if that’s going to eventually kill his big brother.

NMJ: I am a just and frank man, I fear nothing in presence of sinners like you.

Me, with a megaphone: HUBRIS IS A BITCH

The One Braincell Trio being MY fanboys gives me life *insert another million canon-divergences in which they befriend MY and everything is less Lannister red as a result*

THIS ASSHOLE IS2G SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THAT ABOUT MY MUM AND NO ONE WILL FIND THE BODY.

Ok, NMJ called Lan Yi “the great talented leader of the Lan”, I want to pick a less violent fight with him now.

Wei “let me be damn sexy while drinking” Wuxian back at it again.

WUJI IS ON! MOONLIGHT! ROOFTOPS!

WWX: Lan Zhan I’ll sleep on your roof tonight

LWJ: Wei Ying I have to go

WWX: Lan Zhan I’ll sleep on your roof tonight

LWJ: Wei Ying, there’s room in my bed if we snuggle.

There, I fixed it. (Here I come again, joking to hide the pain. Parting is such sweet sorrow and all that)

... oh hey I’d never noticed how big Wang YiBo’s hands are and now I’m in trouble. Which is funny, cause LWJ is v much not my type, but Wang YiBo apparently is now? I mean, I’ve reblogged stuff about him because he’s ridiculously beautiful but...

*falls down a google images rabbit hole*

...

Yeah I can safely say I’m into Wang YiBo’s badboy-prettyboy-coolboy-gremlinboy attitude.

Anyway back to the show:

That was a fucking great sword throw and I love the little smirk MY’s wearing.

... what did I just see?

I don’t know how to describe it, but when WZL sticks the tip of his sword into the flat of NMJ’s sabre and drives him back and you see then go through the frame in front of WC? That’s like the most ridiculous anthropomorphic version of a train dragging a car along the tracks. All that’s missing is the “nyooooom” sound.

Speaking of WZL that’s one coolheaded dude.

Ok, I’m going to go down a Meng Yao rabbit hole again. Brace yoselves.

At risk of sounding like NHS I really don’t know why MY would’ve set XY free. I mean, if he gets XY and the Yin Iron back to WRH he’s got the chief cultivator’s favour... but everyone and their mum wants WRH out of the scene, including as far as he knows Daddy Dearest. He’s clever enough to realise there’s going to be a war, so he might’ve though that if he put himself up as a spy this soon it would’ve benefited the, yet nonexistent, SunShot Campaign. In the book he also murders his bully of a superior right before “defecting” and becoming a spy, and much like in here, NMJ catches him and stabbing happens. Do I think he, like the Jins, was playing both sides during the war? Yeah, but in this instance if I were him I wouldn’t trust in the benevolence of a man who makes puppets out humans for funsies, especially seeing how much he gets bullied.

Now if we go the other direction, of wrong place wrong time, MY doesn’t seem displeased with the Nies. I mean, NMJ and NHS like and respect him as far we’ve seen, NMJ even follows his advise. Why would he want to risk his fucking neck against NMJ just to get a potential in (that again depends on WRH liking him) to spy in a potential war? Call me a hufflepuff, but I’d stay put. Right before NMJ finds MY murdering someone we hear the voice of he asshole captain who loves to mess with MY, same captain that wasn’t present when confronting WC and that was really fucking drunk last night. I’m not saying this man works for the Wens, but hangovers make you sluggish and tired, who’s to say XY didn’t actually break tf out if this yahoo was the one guarding him (back again to the bit when MY asked the captain to post extra guards and the captain told him where to stick it, we don’t know if he actually doubled the guard) and MY walked in on it. Now this asshole has the perfect scapegoat! The *insert his preferred MY slur* did it! He saw it! And MY either panics or snaps and gets stabby.

Listen, it’s murder either way, and I won’t pretend MY doesn’t have a whole alphabet of plans for every situation, but damn I cheered.

Shut the fuck up WC.

My one track mind is shrieking because MY has a stab wound in his chest and he’s just... chilling? (Like a villain lol)

Did y’all see the fan smacking the hand bit? Now that I’ve seen the whole thing is evident, but that’s pretty much the same exact show as at the beginning with the “mysterious man”. Ooooohhhh I love the hints!

HOLY FUCK NMJ IS CRYING (my 3zun ship is sailing y’all can’t stop me).

Speaking of 3zun if y’all could point me to nice fics where everything doesn’t go up in flames for these three idiots I’d appreciate it.

And that’s all for this episode. Thanks for reading.

[a-manes]

Pls rank the taejin fights from most to least insane: 1. Choreo spring day fight 2. Rj vs Tata bt21 creation fight 3. Batshit fake GO THE FUCK HOME fight + 90 second apology hug thanks

AS U WELL KNOW i’m drunk

but here is my defintiive answer

LEAST INSANE

SPRING DAY FIGHT CHOREO

the story: BACK IN YE YONDER DAYS jin has to run at tae during the performance of spring day idk and one then they turn around and jin has to run back to the group while tae follows him

one day fucking 15 mins before the performance tae is like jin u old bitch u don’t run fast enough and i’m gonna trip over u

and jin is like lol ok

and tae is like hold on no don’t laugh at my struggle

and then they get into a FULL BLOWN FIGHT even though they’re literally about to go on stage bc tae doesn’t feel like jin is listening to his concerns and jin is like bitch what

they literally fight and then namjoon has to be like BITCHES WE ARE ON IN FIVE CHILL IT

And then they walk to the stage but tae literally breaks down crying about it and namjoon has to give him a lil hug and it’s all v fraught

and then they have to call a whole ass fucking team meeting about it where they’re like TALK ABOUT UR SHIT AND HUG IT OUT and tae and jin absolutely do not hug it out but tae does give jin a lil back stroke when everyone else has left and honestly angst left right and centre

and this is literally about choreo and it’s insane but it’s the least insane of all three taejin arguments purely bc the other two are fucking batshit

NEXT UP

BT21 MEETING

SO the lads are creating horrifying little characters to represent them and TAE

i can’t even talk about it ART HO KIM TAEHYUNG IS LIKE YES IM GOING TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO CREATE THE GREATEST ART KNOWN TO MAN and he says this with his WHOLE CHEST

AND THEN HE SETS HIS PEN TO PAPER AND DRAWS A FUCKING HEART WITH LEGS SEVEN TIMES IN A ROW AND THEN CLAIMS ITS A LOVE ALIEN BORNE FROM THE DEPTHS OF HIS OWN CREATIVITY AND UNIQUENESS BC FRANKLY TAE IS THE WEIRDEST FUCKING BOY IN ALL THE WORLD

THE CONFIDENCE HE HAS

WHILST DRAWING A LITERAL HEART WITH TWO LEGS THAT LOOKS FRANKLY TERRIFYING

jin meanwhile is drawing this cute ass lil alpaca called rj and he’s like yes the people will connect to the cuteness

AND THEN TAE STANDS THE FUCK UP AND IS LIKE

JIN YOU BITCH YOUR GARBAGE DRAWING MIGHT BE CUTE BUT ITS ALL SHOW NO FLOW ALL LOOKS NO MEANING

AND OUR F A N S PROBABLY WANT SOMETHING WITH DEPTH AND INNER BEAUTY AND MEANING LIKE MY FUCKING HEART WITH TWO LEGS

SO WE WILL JUST SEE WHOSE CREATURE IS MORE SUCCESSFUL BUT BASICALLY IT WILL BE MINE BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE ALPACA IS A SHALLOW PIECE OF SHIT AND YOU WOULDNT KNOW REAL ART IF YOU STEPPED IN A PUDDLE OF IT AND RUINED YOUR WHOLE ASS GUCCI FUCKING OUTFIT YOU UNINSPIRED TURD

and jin is just sitting there like i literally just drew a cute alpaca

and tae is standing up and ready to deck a bitch over the artistic integrity of this literal sponsored joint venture of creating cartoon characters even though he’s literally just drawn a heart with legs

have the confidence in life of tae creating his bt21 character is2g the #inspo

if jin has decked him right there and then on a table full of professional designers no one would have questioned it

i can’t express the LEVELS of passion tae expressed in the bt21 meetings no one has ever cared about something more

he’s like literally there muttering nonsense and drawinf 7 heart leg beasts frantically in the space of 30 seconds it was both horrifying to watch and all i ever needed in my life

AND FINALLY

MOST STUPID TAEJIN FIGHT

THE BAG INCIDENT

SO ONE TIME BTS ARE FILMING THEIR TRAVEL SERIES ANd theY HAVE TO GET ON A TRAIN AND I GUESS

TAE MISPLACES HIS WHOLE ASS BAG BUT ASSUMES ONE OF THEIR CREW HAS IT AND SO GETS ON THE TRAIN BEFORE IT LEAVES

and the crew absolutely has tae’s bag with his passport in and shit

but they’re like

l o l

and they tell namjoon to play a prank on tae and pretend the bag has been lost so namjoon needs to call an embassy of some kind and make sure tae can still continue this trip

so tae is naturally like OH FUCKING GOD WHERE IS MY SHIT and namjoon is like u stupid fuck i’m calling the embassy so how do i spell hyung

and all the other members are at this point in on the joke

including jin

and tae is like aaahhh so JIN

JIN WHO KNOWS THAT TAE DID NOT ACTUALLY LOSE HIS BAG

JUST STARTS A FIGHT WITH TAE

AND IS LIKE YOU FAILURE ASS BITCH HOW COULD YOU LOSE YOUR BAG

AND TAE IS LIKE WAIT THIS ISNT MY FAULT

AND JIN IS LIKE BITCH YES IT IS FUCK OFF BACK HOME

AND TAE IS LIKE FINE ILL FUCKING LEAVE THEN

AND JIN IS LIKE GOOD FUCK OFF WHO CARES

anyway plot twist turns out tae knew immediatley that his bag was not missing because all of bts are fucking awful actors and the only person who wasn’t acting suspicious was hobi and that’s just because stared ahead and didn’t move

THE ONLY ONE WHO ISNT ACTING WEIRDLY IS HOBI AND THATS BECAUSE HE LITERALLY HASNT MOVED A MUSCLE

so tae knows

that jin knows

that tae didn’t lose his bag

and that jin is faking this argument for the lols

so when jin is like YOU KNOW WHAT BITCH JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE THE COUNTRY

tae FULLY AGRESSIVELY ARGUES BACK WITH HIM

EVEN THOUGH TAE KNOWS ITS ALL A FUCKING PRANK

and then TAE PRETENDS TO STORM OFF AFTER THIS FIGHT

BUT COMES BACK, BAG IN TOW

AND JIN

LITERAL PSYCHOPATH KIM SEOKJIN

LEANS BACK IN HIS CHAIR AND JUST SAYS

“congratulations”

and then tae sits back down and they’re all like

lol

sorry for making u think u lost ur passport

except jin absolutely does not say sorry

despite the fact that in jin’s mind

tae thought that fight was real

TAE DOUBLE CROSSED ALL THOSE BITCHES BECAUSE HE IS A REAL ASS ACTOR AND APPARENTLY NOT THICK AS TWO PLANKS

AND JIN WAS JUST LIKE

lol rmr when i told u to leave the fucking country x

literally if i was tae jin would be a pile of bones in the dirt by now what the actual fuck

[shitpostingfromthebarricade]

The long-awaited and much-anticipated Drunk Les Mis summary

(This is the second time I've had to restart because people just really want to talk with me on WhatsApp immediately Right Now)

(dem horns holy shit, How dare Davies intentionally deny this score????)

We have Everyman in prison (his name is literally the blandest name Huge-hoe could summon--anyway, normal dude trying to do good) for a petty crime

The Cop has a hard-on for following laws no matter how silly and minor

(so Everyman and Cop obv don't get along in the traditional sense)

(seriously this score is so fucking good, Davies Why)

So being out of prison doesn't treat Everyman so well

Colm Wilkison The Bishop is actual perfection (I've gotten this far in the FMA translation, he is as close to perfection as The Hoe could write Is2G)

Anyway Everyman tries to steal some silverware, but Bishop pulls a fast one on everyone and gives Everyman even more silver so he can get a clean start

Everyman decides to make the most of his Second Chance because Damn, Bishop is just startling Good; parole papers are torn, it's A Thing

So eight years later, Everyman is mayor of a town and owns a factory that a chick named Fantine works at

Fantine has a secret kid but won't give in to sexual harassment (not from Everyman), so she's fired

Which is real bad for her because Fantine basically gives her whole life away for this lil' baby tucked away Elsewhere (Montfermeil)

Everyman discovers this, feels bad about, it, and promises to care for Metaphor for Hope of the Future

Everyman earns his livelihood for the next Many Years by saving this dude from a carriage which simultaneously totally exposes his secret identity (Stronk Man™) to Cop--this includes consciously allowing Cop to know who he is

(in the novel he gets arrested in the process and has to break out and waits for a year before getting the kid but w/e)

But yeah, in the meantime Cop catches Everyman out, and Everyman escapes to rescue Metaphor for Hope of Future from Metaphor for Everything Bad Ever but loses his position as mayor in addition to the right for any person outside of the church to know them, I guess

So Everyman and Metaphor for Hope of the Future are living in Paris 9 years later alongside Metaphor for Everything Bad Ever and Cop

There's a lot of characters representative of Revolution (Greatest Characters Ever™) who we won't get into because they're all slated to die and I don't want you getting emotionally attached like the rest of the Les Mis community

Metaphor for Hope of Future and Metaphor for Something I can't Concisely Determine fall in love. W/e, heteros

There's multiple songs dedicated to revolution and Greatest Characters Ever™, but plotwise technically they're not all that significant unless you look at historical content and symbolism and whatnot (sorry Baes, I still love you)

So Greatest Characters Ever™ die but Metaphor for for Something I Can't Concisely Determine survives by Everyman's hand (also Spirit of the Revolution and Symbol of The People die hand-in-hand) despite that Cop tries to stand in the way of All Of This

(no really, Greatest Characters Ever™ have more symbolic importance, but I don't have nearly the bulletpoints to get into those nuances) (also drunk)

Cop starts questioning everything he stands for in the face of Greatest Characters Ever™'s cause/sacrifice and Everyman having the opportunity to kill Cop but not

(holy shit the score is so good???) (Why would anyone brag about abandoning this excellence??????)

PARISIAN SEWERS

Cop has the ultimate chance to finally take Everyman in/kill him but finds that he cannot, so he handles his emotions like anyone would and literally kills himself

(excessive bonecracking sound effects are included so you know there's no sequel where he somehow survived and comes back)

Everyman doesn't know this though and is worried about Metaphor for Hope of the Future, so he tells Metaphor for Something I Can't Concisely Determine that he's leaving and not to follow him or tell MftHotF

MfSICCD obv caves immediately, and after he discovers that Everyman saved him at the barricade he and MftHotF track Everyman down to where he's trying to die in peace in a church

So MftHotF and MfSICCD are the only survivors, but everyone else (including Cop because he had a change of heart and we like him now--this is my HC, leave me alone) is at The Big Barricade in the Sky and living peacefully and waving flags

THE END.

[anissapierce]

god i just had this thought and i hope you dont mind if i share, but if they had been planning to do this ricky/pray tell relationship from the get go that would in some ways explain why ricky was never treated as part of their family. bc blanca and pray are obviously the mother and father figures of their family unit so if ricky had truly been treated by them as one of the kids it would be clearly very creepy for this to happen.

I mean yeah but Blanca not treating Ricky as family is New like this season after Damon and Ricky broke up. Like last season tht stuff w Ricky and Lil Papi, and the way she comforted him was clearly mother behavior. Like obviously Damon was her favorite but they didn't course correct enough bc we've got a whole season of Pray Tell being a mentor figure to someone who at most is 18..and like the way tht Ricky's storyline has been this season ? No awknoweldging of the fact tht yeah cheating is wrong but like they outright stated in s1 the shit he's been thru n how desperate he is for love and acceptance.

Is2g if they bring up Pray Tells csa in this mess in any way heads Will roll

and shit just reading half of the Steven C@nals interview churned my stomach and made me let go of any Goodwill I was gonna give the show bc they way he and the interviewer were defending it like explicitly referencing "people are going to say the older one should've known better" (the interviewer said tht) n like ppl saying tht ....are right...tfou ala benadim lanalasla

[prompphoto-blog]

▼[[Because

SEND A SYMBOL FOR MY MUSE’S REACTION TO YOURS:

▼ kissing them

Well the kiss was a surprised but happily accepted, leaving Prompto with a satisfied grin on his lips. “Heh. I’m irresistible aren’t I?”

[two-tickets-to-barbie-please]

Went to the zoo yesterday and it was BALLER and honestly one of the biggest highlights was this lil 4 year old named Gunner who straight up adopted me for the entire dome exibit like we looked at all kinds of cool shit together and he got SO pumped about the snakes and the birds and the plants and like. Honestly the only reason we split up was bc his Nana was feeling all anxious about him just adopting this stranger (me) so I gave him a high five and went to a diff exhibit.

I don't blame her at all and I could tell her anxiety was more embarrassment about her grandson leading us through and her thinking he was ruining my time (it wasn't) than me being some rando (probably bc I kept us near her and kept checking in) but he was THE SWEETEST little dude is2g

And we actually ran into each other after we ate (idk where they had gone bc we went to a diff exhibit first) and he LASER FOCUSED from like across the way asking why we didn't invite him and MY HEART

I gave him another high five and I hope his day was rad bc that little dude was the BEST

[alien-origins]

                               💞 let’s start 2018 with loads of love💞

through this year i’ve gotten to know a lot of lovely people and i’ve had the chance to get to know some of them and some i hope to talk to more in 2018! you all make me so happy💞💞💞 and i’m so full love :(( thank youeveryone for brightening up my dash with your silly posts and support! 2017 was rough so let’s hope for a better 2018 now! writing ‘love’ this many times is hard for me being a aqua but my libra moon can’t stop!! i’ve written little messages to those i’ve talked to this year and i really hope i haven’t missed anyone i’d feel horrible, but i hope i get to talk to all of my lovely mutuals more in 2018 and i care about each and every one of you sooooo much!!💗💞💞 

i also want to share a few words that i learned at the start of 2017 that might be good for people to read now when things are rough and to keep in mind once 2018 starts! you can’t be happy every day, but there’s something to be happy about every day💓💗💓

                                     🎉🎊🎉 happy 2018! 🎉🎊🎉

💝@alphahailang jovi, my sweet child whom i love very much... i’m pretty sure you were on of the first people i talked to on here and i adopted you within 0.003 seconds. you’re one of the sweetest people i’ve ever come across and you care so much about other people, it’s really beautiful. i’m lucky to have you as a child friend, you really are the sweetest. every time i declare i want to protect you you always tell me you’ll protect me and you just make me feel all warm and cosy. thank you for putting up with my krisho spams and thank you for lighting up my days with your presence!

💝@1adyluck shit girl i still have a drunk ask from you in my ask box when we talked about yifan i think. and how can i forget the nasty round of would you rather we had in the beginning of the year when i sat at a café for a whole day until my ass died. you’re really kind and i always smile when i see your url and i miss talking to you but i guess i can try to do better in 2k18 with that! i hope you’ve had a good 2017 though darling!!

💝@bunmyun my fellow nordic binch whom i love... i always get so hyped when i find out that my mutuals are from up here bc we suffer in more ways than one. and i love yelling abt myeon with you and you’re so sweet and i love checking out what you’re doing on snap. we haven’t talked in a while and sjdoaish shit i’m sorry i really suck at holding conversations but ily sm my amazing gal and i can’t wait to yell abt kim junmyeon with you in 2018!

💝@crownkingzyx not to be a libra moon but ily??? you never fail to make me smile and is2g in some way all our conversations are laced with “i’m a aqua so...” and tbh a fellow aqua friend??? best thing ever. tho we can never get into an argument bc then we’ll just never talk :// aquas are so annoying ugh why are we like this? either way, we’ve talked for a while and i remember complaining about my school when we were sewing and someone changed the thread in one of the machines to talking abt kpop zodiacs and i love talking to you!

💝@bulba-suho-r :^) krisho huh, girl i promise you, i can feel it in my bones, that 2018 will be the year of krisho. we gotta get one fresh moment of them right?? this is the year! and girl, i love yelling about our boys with you :(( you’re such a nice gal that i love with my lil heart. let’s never stop yell about them and wow i hope this year has treated you good!

💝@taos-left-eyelid my child! god i’m so proud of you really :(( like you work so hard and i’m glad to watch you grow and help you when i can. you’re so sweet and adorable i’m really glad to have you as a child friend !! you’re the sweetheart and i’m just all happy when i see you on my dash, but i swear to god if you try ramen with milk i’m disowning you. your dad will have to take care of you after that :// i bet he uses milk in his rame :/// ily i hope you can take it easy in 2018!

💝@co-kai-ne askasjio like i feel like all i’ve ever done is send you weird asks and drawings and bothered you with furries since i followed you and i’d say that i’m sorry and i won’t do it in 2018 but we all know i can’t hold that promise. however!! you’re really chill and you make me laugh a whole lot! in 2018 me and myeon won’t come by at 6am to do yoga, we’ll be giving you and pcy some privacy!

💝@kai-aaah sis :(( my bunny sis as well i hope that the buns are glad and healthy and i hope that you are as well! i tbh will never get over your url, i love it so much and just like i love you sweetie! i’m lucky to have such a nice sister, when can i replace you with my real sister??? we can do a exchange program! and i can make you soup and we can talk bunnies! ily darling take care <3

💝@bbtoben ah big oh, idk we’ve barley been mutuals for a few months???? but damn do ily??? from writing in casp about how your father is a failure to planing a trip to korea! and honestly you’re so much fun to talk to and i get really happy when i see you reply to my messages, ily !! :(( you’re such a cutie and i hope things will be good for you in 2018 and that you can meet my bunnies bc they wanna meet you <3 take care now!

💝@ratbyun we haven’t been mutuals for very long but we’ve exposed so many kinks to each other i don’t think we can go back from that :// we have to stay like this now so no one can rat out the other haahah i love my attempts at jokes! it’s always nice talking nasties with you bc neither of us have any shame and that makes me feel at home and ily!

💝@saranghaeyeols sweetie you’re such a warm hug :(( the sweetest :( i’m sorry i haven’t talked to you much and tings got messy nowin the end of the year. but you’re really caring and amazing, i hope you’re taking care of yourself and get rest! all i wanna do is bake you cookies and hug you like you’re so nice it hurts me <3 ily and i hope 2018 will treat you good!

💝@princeksoo aaskjdoi my sweet child! i have no idea how to convince you that i’m not cool but i’m a huge nerd that loves you :(( i like talking to you the little convos we do have here and there, you’re just so cute and happy i’m <333 wow a sweet pea :(( all i wanna do is hug you and be here to give you advice in life even if most of it has been nsfw oh god what kind of mother am i??? i’ll gladly answer any questions you have in 2018 as well and take care in the new year darling!

💝@dwlwrma we haven’t talked all that much but i still consider you a dear friend and i care about you :(( you’re really sweet and thoughtful and i hope i can talk to you more in the new year and that you take care of yourself! <3 it was really kind of you to check on me and i can tell you i’m doing much better now and i hope you’re doing well as well!

💝@snowmanguk hey darling i hope you’re doing good and taking care of yourself <3 i love you loads and i really wish i could hug you, wrap you up in a blanket and take a nap with you? you deserve the whole world and i hope that 2018 will treat you so well because you deserve it so much and if not i’ll personally fight time (tao???) for you to be happy. take care and relax okay sweetie? ily!

💝@atttaboy :(( we’ve talked a lot this year and most of it has been rather serious i think but we’ve had cutesy light hearted conversations as well! and i’m so happy to see things go well for you <33 you mean a lot to me and so does your happiness™ i really hope that 2018 will be even better for you and that you can stay happy for long and that we we can continue talking! <3 ily darling!

💝@mr-kris-wu-yi-fan binch, i legit think i cried when i realized you were a kris stan from one of the nordic countries like??? i didn’t even think they existed? but here we are!! i love crying over kris’ dick with you it’s really nice actually and i can’t believe we haven’t seen it yet :// we deserve™ to see it and sit on it honestly. i’m so happy to have found a nasty kris stan like me and some day we gonna sit on his dick girl i swear...have fun in china and try to get him! <3

💝@fxrlife i’ve exposed so much to you i can never not talk to you now ashiuhdu, i’ve been a lil off the past weeks but i’m doing better and i miss talking to you. i need to yell abt nasty stuff and exo! also like i am gonna make that mood board i just got so much to do rn it’s coming up tho you wait!! you’re a sweetheart and so much fun to talk to, i really hope 2018 will be good to you darling!

💝@deathbykaisoo god i can’t wait to move to a farm with you with loads of puppies and bunnies! we gonna have it so chill and i’ll bring all my sheet masks and we can have such a nice time petting puppies and have nice skin :(( you’re a sweetheart and the times we talk i always get happy and i hope to get more of that in 2018, take care sweetie!

💝@moutonrose first of all i can’t believe that i found a mom??? for my whole life i’ve had the mom title and wow it’s amazing?? i love yelling about all our damn aus we come up with and i can’t wait to share them with the world askhdoiash. i’m so glad that you liked the care package from japan i got and you gotta tell me once you try the candy if it was good bc i only like the chocolate in that one really! you’re amazing and such a beautiful person inside and out ily :((

💝@lofiloey we haven’t been mutuals for very long??? maybe half a year??? but you always send me pics of daddy kris that make me cry and you gotta stop this!!! ok not really it’s a lot!! you’re a nasty and as your mom i guess it’s partly my fault :// you’re a kind soul and i hope that 2018 will treat you good because you deserve it!

💝@oshzt honey :(( <3 ily a whole lot and i’t been some time since we talked but i still treasure you so so much and i’m still gonna take you to gotland to watch the sunrise from the boat and we can chill by the beach and listen to the best summer playlist ever! you’re a amazing soft person and i hope the rest of 2017 was good to you and the start of 2018 is even better <3 can’t wait to talk to you more in 2k18 and yell in caps!

💝@glitzyeol darling shit i really do suck at holding conversations but won’t stop me from loving you! i hope you’ve been doing good the last part of the year and that you’ve been able to have fun and smile <3 you’re really nice and fun to talk to :(( i’ll try be better at talking to you in 2018! you’re sunshine personified and i always smile when i see you on my dash, take care darling!

💝@suho69 honestly we haven’t talked that much but you talked about space with me and i instantly hooked on and like :// your url?? perfect. you have a lil special spot in my heart and i hope 2018 will be good to you and that you take care of yourself!

💝@sehunsbff i feel like our mutualship is me annoying you in the reply under text posts??? we don’t talk all that much but i always smile when seeing you on my dash and you tipped me that kmodboard thing??? it was real nice you thought my work was good :(( and you’re a real sweet person and maybe i can be better at talking in 2018, either way take care and i hope the new year will treat you good <3

💝@04gf bby i love u so much i hope you’re doing good!! <3 god i haven’t talked with you for ages??? i’m so sorry abt that but i guess we’ve both been bussy but i hope you’re taking care of yourself and school is nice!<3 god you’re such a beautiful gal on the inside and out you light up my lil heart! take care and i’ll try do better talking to you in 2018 and i hope the new year will be good on you!

💝@xiuminscheeks we haven’t had that much of a conversation but you’re so sweet and caring it really warms my heart and i smile whenever i see you pop up on my dash!<3 thank you for being such a sweet person and i really hope 2018 will tread you well! take care!

💝@xiukitty how are you doing darling? i hope the last months have been good and you’ve had time to smile and have fun! <3 i hope you get time to rest and relax. you’re such a sweetheart and i’m so glad to have met you and been able to talk to you wow! thank you for being so nice and amazing you deserve the best 2018, take care sweetie!

💝@bright-black-blunder my sweet child, it’s been ages? i hope you’re doing good and having a good time! i hope that the last few months have been easy on you and that you’ve taken care of yourself! you’re really sweet, like wow such a pure soul ily :(( please take care in 2018 i miss talking to you and i’ll try to be better with that in the new year, stay hydrated and remember to have fun!

💝@suhosbulge i went back to look at our messages and the last thing was literally talking about keeping nut in a jar and nut diet and idk if i should laguh or cry. you’re fun and such a nice person i really hope to talk about nut more in 2018 with you wow. i hope you get to swallow some nut and take care :(( ily!

💝@trumpsluckylady hey i really hope you’re doing good! we haven’t talked in a while but i still care loads about you and you’re so much fun to talk to sorry i suck at holding conversations omg!! :(( you’re a darling and wow such a nice and neat person :( <3 i really hope you’ll do good in 2018 and that the new year will be good!

💝@niniandnoodul my dude :(( ily sweetie i hope you’re doing well! you’re such a cutie and you are really lovely :( we haven’t talked all that much but omg i feel like we have talked forever and i always light up when i see you on my dash and i hope 2017 has been good for you and that 2018 will be even better. take care sweetie ily!

💝@localgaylad we haven’t been mutuals for all that long but i remember i got a ask from a anon saying they shipped us and i had to check you out aiusgdus i hope you’re doing well and having a good end of the year! you’re neat to talk to and really nice! thank you for lighting up my dash sweetie, take care in 2018!

💝@suhosbread bro...where do i even begin? i wrote some no homo to you on christmas but shit i really appreciate you a lot and it feels like we’ve talked for forever even if it only was about a year ago? amazing isn’t it... you’re such a soft sweet boy and wow i’m lucky to have you as my bro :(( <3 2017 has been rough but let’s make 2018 good and let’s continue complain together and can’t wait to see what work you have for 2018 and to watch you have fun :(( a lil homo but ily a whole lot, thank you for being such a wonderful person like really :((

💝@jinsflower girl, first of all i miss you but i hope you’re having some sweet ass time in korea now! it looks so amazing and god i wish i was there with y’all! you’re like such a sweetheart for real, you’re such a libra and wow :(( thank you for being such an amazing friend and let’s have so much fun in 2018 when we graduate and all! <333

💝@exogege we talked a lot in the beginning of the year and i hope the rest of the year has been good to you and you’ve had fun! you’re a whole load of nice things and i really hope 2k18 will be good to you and you can have loads of fun and do what you want to do, take care sweetie!<3

💝@chanhee

we haven’t talked in forever i’m a bad person i’m sorry :(( you’re really fun and you’re so sweet but i suck. i hope it’s been good though, and that 2018 will be good to you! and i can’t believe the last thing we talked about was how damn short i was wow, iconic?? 

                                           💗 123 - e 💗

 💞 @7deer-ofthe-dawn7💞 @baekshitbyun💞 @baekstockings💞 @bebebyun💞 @bunnyleader💞 @baekiexing💞 @bitchasschanyeol💞 @buzzcutsoo💞 @citruscake💞 @chogihuns💞 @cyberksoo💞 @chanyevol💞 @chonyeol💞 @chilyeol💞 @cuntykai💞  @daesaurus💞 @exoblesso💞 @exordiam💞 @exoistheuniverse💞

                                             💗 j - z 💗

💞@juhyeol💞 @joonmeow-ing💞@junmyeon-please💞 @junmyonenie💞 @kardsine💞@kaihunnies💞@kimjonginsmom💞@littlephoton💞 @luflute💞 @mochibobohu💞 @my1ady 💞 @sakura-gucci-panda💞 @suhocentric💞 @shinelike-hobi💞 @suh01💞 @shimmie-shimmie-kokobop💞 @taem-jinki  💞 @taegnsic💞 @wheatleyoppa💞 @xiaoluxury💞 @xingmi4life💞 @yeogibuteora💞 @yifangalaxies💞 @yeolsofly💞 @yowlie💞 @zyex💞