#i wanna sit and tell him that hes the most beautiful thing ive ever seen

[lavendermunson]

enchanted IV | knight!eddie munson x princess!reader

summary Eddie tried to do the right thing but his heart can’t stop hurting. It’s time for the knight to drop his duties and come for the thing he loves the most.

tags +18, afab!reader, this chapter doesn’t have warnings at all but if you need me to mark something please let me know.

a/n read the note at the end!

wc 2.9k

moodboard | previous chapter | masterlist

After talking to Wayne about the safety of the princess, Eddie returns to his room and looks at himself in the mirror. He feels his hands too light, feeling he is missing something. He is definitely missing something.

He wonders if this is the end. It is, maybe it is. He has to let go of the fire that ignites the chimney on the coldest week of winter and stay at home with the ray of sun that has lightened his face every day in the morning.

It would be stupid to run and see you, it would be so stupidly wrong. But for a moment he thinks, and thinks. There’s a possibility of you running away with him. He can’t predict the future, god, he wishes he could and right now the only thing left is giving up.

He sits in his bed, taking a notebook from under his pillow. The first page has a drawing of his mom, he tugs it close to his heart and as soon as he rests his head in the pillow, a tiny piece of paper peeks from under the leather.

“I wanna be defined by the things that I love. Not the things I hate. Not the things that I'm afraid of. Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night. I just think that you are what you love.”

He closes his eyes, letting all his feelings flutter inside his body. He misses his mom. He misses being happy. Being, feeling free.

It is time for things to change, he thinks.

It is time I change things.

—

With shaky hands and a pale face, terror conquers Eddie’s body at the sight of your parents. The king and queen.

“It's okay, you got this” he hears Wayne’s voice from their conversation before. Eddie got out of his room, told Wayne everything he felt, every little thing that was on his mind.

It was hard for Wayne to accept that the living reminder of his sister was telling him he was going to leave. He wanted to be mad, but he couldn't. It's what Eddie's mom would've wanted. It's what Eddie should do, fight for love.

Wayne was in love once, he understood completely. He hugged his nephew, he kissed his forehead. He wishes the best to him.

“So… what do you have for us? News?” The king, your father, speaks.

“I… i need to tell you something” Eddie's hands are no longer shaking. “I don't want to be your knight anymore, but don’t get me wrong it was an honor”

The kings, your parents, look at each other and for a moment they know. They know why, they know what’s coming, they've prayed for this.

“It is, it’s fine Eddie. But tell me, why the sudden change of mind?” your mother speaks, her voice is gentle. It surprises Eddie.

“I'm not– I'm not asking for permission. You can stop me, you can try to stop me. I need to go away, I need to get out of here. But I'm not doing it alone, I'm not going out empty handed.

For the first time in my life, I felt seen, I felt loved. Your daughter, I've been obsessed with her my whole life. She never treated me differently, no, how could she? She is the angel of my dreams, she is all I need. Her kindness. Her bravery. Her, she… she has a beautiful way of describing things, of seeing life.

I swallowed my heart for the sake of my kingdom but this is not what I want. I want her. She brought me back to life, I spent less than a lifetime with her and I need her. I need her like lungs need air. She fills me up, she… she makes me feel safe.

So I'm telling you… not asking. I need to go away, she needs to get out of here. I'm getting her out, to give her a happy, free and safe life. Im getting her away from you, and them, and this. To love her, to take care of her, and to make her the happiest girl that’s ever going to exist on this planet.”

His chest hurts, his throat is swollen. He is wondering why they aren’t throwing him in some dungeon.

The queen gets to him, away from her throne. The king follows her.

“Eddie. We are not going to stop you, you’d be doing us a favor” she says, taking Eddie’s hands in hers.

“We can’t stop this, but you can. Get away. Go away. Take care of our little girl” The king speaks, his eyes looking soft.

“We are not going to stop you, but we can’t help you either. You must have a plan by now, you are a smart boy” your mom speaks again, tears filling up her eyes.

“You can go now. Good luck, and thank you for caring about her” your dad speaks, Eddie nods.

This is the last time he is going to see them. He takes a deep breath and walks out.

—

It’s been a dreadful week, a nightmare of a lifetime. Jason’s mom keeps coming into your room, you’ve tried on thirty-seven dresses and still none of them is the right one. How could any dress be the right one, when the husband-to-be isn’t the one you love?

Every minute you spend in that castle, away from your family and waiting for Jason to come and talk to you when you know he is away with a girl somewhere. It feels like that’s all you are going to be. Always a girl trapped in some room, away from the wonders, the adventures.

From the moment Eddie let the other knights take you, your heart has been feeling heavy. The feeling of waking up to an empty bed after the best night of your life was something you couldn’t describe. It was painful.

Someone who is in love with you doesn’t betray you, he doesn’t get to do that to you. And you think, maybe this is what you deserve. To be here. Alone.

–

After getting some food for dinner you go back to your room. A room that’s too empty for your taste. There are no books lying around. No comfortable silk pillowcases. The sheets are rough, the blankets are too cold.

You look out, the tiny window in the room is enough for you to see a part of the woods. The sun is going down, it will disappear in an hour, maybe less.

“Since you don’t want any dress, I will have to give you my own” the queen enters the room, making you jump.

“I can’t. No i can’t take that from you” you shake your head.

“It is settled” she lets the modiste come in to fix the dress, it’s the less you can now.

“I have this. It’s for you… but please don’t tell anyone i gave it to you”

On her hands rest a letter, with a pink wax seal that you would recognize everywhere. Your mom’s.

“My dear, our tulip.

We have been thinking, we have been convinced. This life is not for you, it never was.

Since you were born, we have been the happiest pair. My little girl.

It is time for you to be your own person. To make your own choices. To make good things. To make mistakes.

He is going to take care of you. He is going to do what we couldn’t�� He is going to make you happy.

Me, dad. We love you, cherry pie. We will miss you. You are our thoughts.

Love you. Mom.”

Tears pool on your eyes, and you blink twice and look at the paper. Hope gets over you, you spin in your feet with a smile on your face.

Him? Eddie? All of this is too good to be true.

“How did you get this?” you ask the modiste.

“Princess, i'm not a modiste. I'm some sort of a… messenger? Tonight at midnight you need to go down the stairs, through the kitchen and wait on the opposite side of the barn. You know what’s waiting, I won't tell you.”

“Midnight. Got it, thank you” you say.

“Have a safe travel, it was an honor to meet you”

—

A wave of happiness hits you. You rest in bed and tug the letter close to your chest.

The moment you’ve been dreaming for is finally here. Freedom. Love. Him.

You wonder why this couldn’t come sooner, but maybe this was the right time. The right time to be anything you want to be, to start again in a new place. Meet people. Travel. Learn.

And most importantly… be with him. Kiss him. Hug him. You miss his touch. His smell. His fingers over and inside you.

The door opens in a rush, you hide the letter under your pillow. It’s Jason, drunk, filthy, dumb Jason.

“Hello future wife, i am exhausted from just… kissing so many girls” he closes the door and gets in bed with you, pulling you to him. You try to fight back but he doesn’t let you. His arms are heavy on you. “Fuck-fuck night gowns and fuck-fuck-fuck me” he falls asleep quickly, like some sort of miracle.

You look at him, it’s the most peaceful you’ve ever seen him. You wonder why a sweet kid like him could grow up to be a nightmare of a person.

Is this what happens? When greed, money, fame and a high status gets over your head? And you wonder. Is he going to look for you? With violent knights and hundreds of weapons. If he is selfish, dumb and evil. Would you ever be safe?

The clock hits midnight. It’s time to go.

You press your fingers on his arm, delicately breaking free of his grip so he won’t wake up. His arm fell hard on the mattress, your fingers slipped but he didn’t wake up.

He is lost. Dozing.

You run to the door, quietly. Once it’s been open you close it and run towards the kitchen.

A loud sneeze comes from the hallway, you hide in a closet next to the back door. You take a peek from what it looks like to be a keyhole and realize it’s the queen. Jason’s mom.

She makes herself tea. Surprisingly, she is making a tea by herself. The clock above her head marks five minutes past midnight, you cross your fingers hoping she doesn’t take too much time.

–

Eddie’s plan has been working perfectly. Since packing his stuff, some of your stuff he got back from the cabin in the woods. He got a horse ready, fruit and bread for the ride. A map.

He gets close to the back of the barn, leaving the horse a few minutes back so he won’t get caught.

Eddie hears steps coming to the barn. The king, Jason’s dad. He is pacing around looking at the animals, maybe he can’t sleep.

After a few minutes the queen joins the king, Jason’s parents look like villains out of a book. They look old, tired and their faces always have a frown on it.

Eddie starts to play with the rings in his hands. He is anxious. They won’t go away and if you come out the door and find them they will catch you and lock you forever. He has to stop you from coming out.

His steps are fast, but quiet. He looks for another entrance to the castle and runs through the hallway. He looks at the wedding decorations.

The wedding was supposed to happen today, in the morning.

He runs through the castle, hoping no one will see him and after catching a glimpse of your figure he runs towards you. You managed to escape the queen a few seconds ago, making your way to find another exit.

The place looks like a labyrinth, everything is dark. Eddie feels himself running in circles, getting to the same place over and over. He stops to ease his breath, trying to get rid of the fog that clouds his eyes. A body bumps into him, he opens his eyes and takes in your face.

The softness of your lips. The pretty tip of your nose. And when he finally locks his gaze with yours he allows himself to breathe again.

“It’s you” you say, quiet.

“Hi, i’m here to rescue you,” he says, with a grin on his lips.

“That is… very accurate. I was going to make fun of you for that”

“What can I say? call me knight charming”

You push your body towards him, his hands fit right in your waist and pull you to his chest. Your lips met his in a short kiss, it lasts seconds but it takes you to heaven.

“I’m sorry. I have so many things I need to say to you but we have to go. Now” you nod, taking his words in, his hand reaches yours and together you run to find an exit.

–

After what felt like hours of running, you finally make it to Eddie’s horse. He gets “Peanut” ready to leave but panics as he hears footsteps, not too close so you can escape in time but close enough to make him anxious.

“Hurry” he says to you.

“I see them, c’mon!” A drunk Jason walks slowly to you. He is still far away, his steps are clumsy and it’s taking him years to reach you.

“Let’s go, sweetheart” Eddie’s voice sounds muffled, a ring in your ears starts to increase its pitch.

Your heart is beating in your heart so fast, your body is completely frozen.

“I can’t” you look at Eddie, his lips trembling.

“What?”

“I- I didn't say goodbye to my parents. I didn’t hug them one last time i-” you pause, tears run down your cheeks “This, this kingdom. The people, they need me Eddie”

“No! no they don’t. Your mom is, she is going to take care of them. Your dad said they are going to think about you all the time… sweetheart, please. It’s time to go” he reaches for your hands, taking them with a soft touch and squeezing them.

“And the cabin, I need my stuff. My books and my clothes” you look at him, he is worried but he knows you are scared.

“I have some stuff, I have the clothes and blankets you made. The mug and plates you made. Your box of jewelry” he drops your hands by your sides, his soft palms travel to your cheeks and he takes a deep breath. “There’s books everywhere, we can buy more and we can look in every place for them. Please…” he kisses your forehead, hoping it would ground you and assuring you it’s going to be okay. “Please come with me”

You nod, you take his hands away from your face and your heart skips a beat. You get on the horse with him, hugging him from behind and squeezing his body as tears fall down your cheeks again.

As you get far away from the kingdoms, the castles slowly start to disappear. Eddie manages to lose the ones that were following you and starts to focus on the road.

It was hard. Sad.

The two of you were heartbroken.

Leaving people you loved. The place you grew up in. All the memories you’ve left behind.

Eddie told you he managed to sell the cabin to a couple in the kingdom that were tired of the stupid rules and wanted to be free. It was enough to get a tiny house, your jewelry was going to help.

You were going to find jobs and live a happy life. Together.

–

After traveling around for months, you finally found a place to stay. It was a big town, without a kingdom.

There was a mayor, a woman with a strong character but she looked nice.

A sheriff, he looked serious and he was strong.

The two of them welcomed you after buying your house. It was much better than the cabin, nicer than Eddie’s house. You loved it, it was tiny and felt cozy. It felt like a home.

Hours after settling, showering together and sharing some kisses. Your now boyfriend and you walked through town, at the very center of it there was a market.

You bought books, fruit, and some ingredients to cook. Pieces of fabric, silk, old drapes.

In the corner some kids close to a carpet full of miscellaneous stuff.

“How much for the guitar?” Eddie says, taking the guitar in his hands and starting to play a melody. You watch him, his smile looks so good and his eyes are less puffy.

“I will give you a good deal if you teach us how to play the new one we got” A boy with curly hair speaks, as the others watch your boyfriend.

“Deal” Eddie reaches for the boy’s hand and he takes it smiling. “I’m Eddie, this is my princess Y/N”

“I’m Dustin” he shakes his hand “These are my friends, Mike, Lucas, Will, Max and El”

“Nice to meet to guys” you smile, they all look so friendly.

“Are you really a princess?” Max says, getting close to you with El by her side.

“Let’s say… we all are princesses” you smile at them “Right?”

“I love that!” El says, smiling.

You watch the kids laugh and dance as Eddie plays a song on the guitar and sings. Your heart flutters.

You look at each other, words aren’t needed when you know you feel the same. Finally you are free, happy. In a place where you feel like you belong. In a place when you can make your own choices and as your mom said, your own mistakes. But by Eddie’s side it will always be great, things will always be great.

hey! what a ride. this was my first time doing a long fic. i have to apologize for the ending, i tried to wrap up everything and i still feel like i missed some things but i will write them in the future, separately from this long story but in the same universe.

i dropped this story for a long time and i had a lot of plans, unfortunately i didn’t have time to do it and i just keep being unmotivated by the whole thing but i tried my best to come up with an ending instead of abandoning it.

thank you to everyone for your support 🩷 if you want to see more of them or my work tell me!!

tag list + special thanks to: @stephanie-nicks76 @mylovelycrazyworld @enam3l @punkwitchcosplay @eddiesprincess86 @nojamsonmytoast @lunar-corgimon @secretdryrose @findmeincorneliastreet @duncanhillscoffeecups @sagedbelladonna @cherry-pop3547

[trag3dija]

By the pool//leeknow x fem!reader

Warnings:flirting, thigh humping, riding, smut. MDNI!!!

I was sitting on a lounge chair, beside the pool. It was a hit summer day, so why not? My mom and dad were on a trip, which meant i was alone, i had my huge house all to myself. Oh and btw im a millionare 😜. (Goofy) I obviously couldve had a party, but im tired of those, it's getting boring. So I decided to relax. I put on a blue bikini and some lotion, also some sunglasses. I sat for about 2 hours when I heard the gate open. Who could it be, when my parents are away? I looked at the gate, not moving my head. It was the most attractive man ive ever seen in my life. He walked over to me. I took of my glasses and looked at him.

"Hey, your parents, as I assume, hired me to clean the pool, so uhh, yeah, I'll be here for like about an hour and a half. "

"Okay, what's your name? " I asked the man.

"Oh im minho, what about you? Im also 23."

"Im y/n, and we're about the same age. "

"Pretty name, ok so umm, just don't mind me cleaning here. "

"It's completely fine! Also if you want to, I can treat you a little bit. If you want to ofc. "

"Sure maybe later, princess" minho said as he winked.

I put my glasses back on, while blushing. He literally just flirted with me. A man. Who is so attractive, flirted with me. OMFG. He wore a white sleeveless shirt, with some red shorts. He looked like a life guard. But so attractive. He started cleaning and he probably thought that I was asleep while I looked at him through those glasses. Since he thought I was asleep, (just like I said) he took of his shirt, revealing such a beautiful view. His toned abs and chest. His muscular arms. I just noticed, but his thighs. He looked so attractive that everyone could faint when they see him.

"Hey, minho, I'll be right back okay? "

"Sure princess. "

I went in. I poured in some expensive wine into 2 beautiful glasses. I went outside and handed him one of the glasses.

" that's my treat, enjoy. " I said while smiling at him.

"It's expensive. Im gonna have to repay you somehow."

" oh it's no need to. We have a lot of wine. And money. " i said while giggling. The pool was almost clean. I sat on the edge of the pool sticking my feet in.

"So, tell me, do you have a girlfriend? "

"Uh no, ive never had one, but I know how to treat one. " he said winking at me.

"And what about you? Do you have a boyfriend? " he asked.

"No, but I can see someone in front of me, who looks like my future boyfriend ".

" well do you know what I see in front of me? "

"No, tell me. " I said.

"I see someone in front of me, who is amazed by my looks. "

" and I see someone in front of me, who clearly needs a helping hand" I said pointing at his below. He obviously had a boner.

"And i see someone in front of me who is willing to help me" he said looking at me. It was a little late. It started to get a bit dark. In the moonlight I could see his beautiful features, that looked even more attractive. The pool has finally been cleaned. I turned on the pools LED's and went in, setting my wine on the edge of the pool. I swam around as he looked at me.

"Wanna join me? " I asked.

He immediately went in. We swam around, and laughed, and it was time to get out of the pool since it was almost night. As we got out, I still saw his boner. Now he definetly needed it. He sat on the lounge chair. And I sat on his thigh, looking at me. I took him by surprise.

"You wanna ride it? " he asked me as he looked at his thigh.  I started moving, and I immediatly started moaning. It was music to his ears. He felt me clenching my walls around his thigh. The only thing that separated me and his thigh was my bikini, so he could definetly feel me clenching. He put his hands on my hips,gripping on them,moving me back and fort. I felt the knot in my stomach unravel. I started to see stars in my eyes as I came on his thigh. My cum dropping down his thigh and my bikini.

"You clearly enjoyed it. How about you ride something else? Hm? "

He slowly pulled down his trucks down, just enough for his dick to spring out. It was pretty big. I stared at him In shock, and he definetly was proud of it. I took off my bottom part and sat on his lap. Still not putting him in me. Just riding on his dick. He groaned. I knew that he liked it, but needed more. I slowly put him inside me.

"A-ah fuck. It's so big ! " I moaned out.

"You're so tigth! Gosh! You feel so g-good! "

He slammed me up and down on his cock. He put one of his hands behind me, and suddenly I felt my top part fell. He immediately went to my buds, sucking on them. He kissed and licked,sucked all over my body.

"You like that? My pretty slut."

I felt like he was fucking my brain out!

"Fuck m-minho! Im gonna-"

"Me too baby"

We both came, feeling his warm liquid spill into me.

"That was amazing. " I said.

" we should do it more often, princess" he said as he winked.

________________

Hey guys!!! How are you? I hope y'all are doing good! Tell me some ideas if you have some. Anyways, have a good day/night!!!

[beepbeepmfkr]

.

[luminnara]

It’s Been a Long, Long Time | Ch 6

Summary:  When HYDRA had their prized asset, the Winter Soldier, they did something no one ever thought was possible: they gave super soldier serum to an omega. With the sole purpose of tending to him during his ruts, she spends decades living in HYDRA facilities, denied her humanity and her life. Now, years later, Bucky Barnes has his mind and his own life back...and the last thing he ever expects is to see a familiar omega again. Bucky/OC, a little angsty but mostly smutty/fluffy/romantic!

Part One | ... | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Tags:  @kyrah-williams @oceanmermaidwitch @shawnie--jo @super-cape @ferxaniti @namjoonwatcheshentai @fandomsstolemylife00 @youngblood199456 @nightlygiggless @darlingely @ bluemoon-icecream @kaz11283 @jenjen8675309 @dollfacev8 @witchinpractice @mystical-b3ar @sukeraa

Bucky refused to leave the omega’s side while she stayed in the lab. Bruce had to stop him from trying to crawl onto the bed with her, and after about the third time, he convinced the super soldier to just pull up a chair like a civilized person and hold her hand while she drifted off to sleep again. Now that she was with her alpha, she had settled down for another nap, more interested in resting than answering any more questions so long as Bucky stayed and kept an eye on her. 

Steve had to admit, it was endearing. He had never seen his friend so absolutely enraptured like this. Whenever the omega, or Ten, as Bruce was still calling her, shifted in her sleep, Bucky’s eyes were snapping over to make sure that she was okay. Whenever she let out a little whimper, he was purring and stroking her hair. Whenever she seemed like she might wake up again, his attention was completely on her.

“So...sure you don’t remember her?” Steve asked, pulling up a chair. He had left for a few hours to work out, and after a lack of updates from FRIDAY, he headed back down to check on everything. They were exactly as he had left them, which was a good sign. At least nothing was getting out of hand. 

Yet.

Bucky shrugged, rubbing the back of the omega’s hand with his thumb. “I dunno. It’s...foggy.”

“Well, it seems to me like you’ve either got a history together, or she’s mistaking you for someone else.” Steve said. “Quite frankly, it’s hard to do the latter.”

“I’ve dreamt of her.” Bucky said quietly. 

“...what?”

“It’s not much, but...I’ve seen her face.” Bucky looked down at her. “I think that no matter how many times HYDRA wiped my memory, she’s always been in there. Kinda like the one constant that was always around, the one thing I could always count on being in the base with me.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Steve asked.

“Never knew if she was real or not.” Bucky sighed. “I thought...maybe she was just something my mind made up to fill some of the gaps. But she smells exactly like I remember.”

Steve sat back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched his friend. Bucky wasn’t snarling anymore, most of his attention trained on the omega while she slept. Now that he was close to her, he had calmed down significantly, though he still wouldn’t let Steve within five feet of her bed. 

“Just got off the phone with Tony,” Bruce announced, walking in. “He and Pepper will be back tonight. Pepper’s having some clothes and personal items delivered for our new omega friend here. They also asked about renovating a more permanent room for her, but I, uh...told them I wasn’t exactly sure what the situation would be.”

“She’s staying with me,” Bucky said immediately. 

“Now hang on, hang on,” Steve leaned forward. 

“Steve,” Bucky growled. “I want her with me.”

“Buck, you don’t even know her—“

Bucky interrupted him with a loud snarl, the omega in question whining and squirming in her sleep at the sound of it. 

He immediately shut up, brushing a thumb over her cheek and shushing her until she was sleeping soundly again. Fuck, he felt so stupid. What was wrong with him? She could have woken up, or been scared, or upset, all because he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut. She needed her rest, and he needed to stay quiet. 

Steve almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

“Oh, Buck,” he shook his head. “You’re in deep.”

—

Amoretta woke feeling well rested, and it wasn’t until she tried to stretch and felt the tug of her IV drip that she remembered where she was. Opening her eyes revealed the bright lights of the lab, and as she started to sit up, a few faces came into view.

“Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty,” Bruce said. “How are you feelin’?”

She licked her lips. “Juice box. Now.”

“Way ahead of you. Had this one waiting as soon as you started waking up.” He tossed one to her and was pleased when her hand shot up to catch it. “Reflexes look good. Vitals are all reading normal. I’ll have to run another test to see what’s going on with those suppressants, but I’m willing to bet you’re metabolizing them fairly quickly now. How are you feeling?”

She pulled the little straw off the back of the carton and jammed it into the top. “Nauseous. Like usual.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Side effect of the suppressants?”

“Always has been. Other than that...I feel great, actually.”

“Well, as soon as these wear off, we can figure out something nicer and more modern for you. If you want to use them, I mean.” Bruce shrugged. “Your choice.”

She smiled. “Choice. I like that.”

“Hey, we’re all about independence here,” Steve said happily. He was glad to see she was awake, even though Bucky wasn’t.

The other alpha was still at her side, but, as of about half an hour ago, he was napping. Steve made a mental note to never let him forget the way he slept straight through the one moment he had been waiting for all day. 

“What time is it?” She asked. “There’s no windows in this damn place.”

“Just after dinner,” Bruce chuckled. “You slept most of the day. Bucky hasn’t left your side.”

She looked over to her soldier, smiling warmly at the sight of him sleeping. He was even snoring softly. “I haven’t gotten to see this in forty years.”

“Did you two, uh…” Steve cleared his throat. “Spend a lot of time together?”

The omega laughed. “You always this awkward around girls?”

“That’s not—“

“Relax, I’m just giving you a hard time.” She sucked on her straw. “But...yeah, we did.”

“So...you were just kept for his ruts, or…” Steve was so awkward it was almost endearing. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I think.”

“It’s okay. I know my lot in life.” She kept her eyes trained on Bucky as she spoke. “But if I’m going to answer more questions, I want to get out of this bed. And I want real clothes. Then I’ll talk.”

And so, only several minutes later, Bruce was handing her a sweater and some shorts he had grabbed from a little stash of extra clothing, and Bucky was startled awake by Ten stepping past him. She was finally free from all the tubes and cords that had been sticking out of her during her little hospital stay, and she was all too eager now to explore the tower.

She stood on wobbly legs, almost falling onto him when she tried to take a step. Bucky was up in a flash, ready to catch her, and as she fell against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her. Despite just waking up, he felt fully alert, completely ready to tend to his omega’s every need. 

His omega...he liked that train of thought. 

“We can head up to the common area. It should still be quiet.” Steve said, leading the way out. 

Bucky kept an arm around his omega’s waist as they followed, Bruce bringing up the rear. He wanted to be touching her at all times, constantly in contact so that he couldn’t lose track of her. His instincts were roaring to life, demanding that he do everything in his power to make sure that she was safe and in his line of sight. The elevator ride was tense and full of possessive growling, Bucky constantly shoving Ten behind him to keep her in the corner and as far away from Steve as possible, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief when the doors slid open and they could step out of the cramped space again. 

The common area was empty, thankfully, FRIDAY informing them that the other Avengers were all either working out or in their private quarters. 

“Good,” Steve said, heading towards the couches. “No interruptions. Got it, FRIDAY?”

“Understood, Captain Rogers.”

“C’mere,” Bucky mumbled, pulling his omega down to sit on one of the couches with him. Part of him was feeling a little sheepish and self conscious of his behavior...but the rest of him didn’t give a shit. The others could stare and shake their heads all they wanted, but he’d be damned if he let Ten slip through his fingers again. 

Or whatever her name was. 

Steve and Bruce sat across from them, making sure that they left as much space as possible between themselves and the new omega. Neither of them had ever seen Bucky behaving quite like this--he was on guard, hyper aware of everything around him. He made sure that she was pressed up against his side, an arm draped possessively over the back of the couch so that it was unmistakable that she was with him.

Christ, what had gotten into him? He couldn’t remember ever acting this way about an omega before. 

“So…” Steve cleared his throat, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees.

Bucky didn’t really like the way his posture made him lean forward towards his omega, but he could deal with it for now. “So.”

“What do you wanna know?” Ten asked, plucking at Bucky’s shirt. She seemed to be even clingier with him than he was with her, perfectly happy to be hanging off him or tucked up against his side. “You met my demands. I guess I’m an open book now.”

“I don’t want to overstep my bounds,” Steve said. “We just need to know as much as you’re willing to share.”

“Then ask a question.”

“...Alright.” he cleared his throat again. “You said HYDRA used you to help with Bucky’s ruts?”

Ten nodded, her expression remaining even and cool. 

“Could you tell us more about that?” Steve glanced at Bucky. “Were there ever any other omegas, or anyone we should know about?”

“There were omegas before me.” she answered. “When I first got to the compound, there were a lot of us. They kept us all in big cells, so everyone talked. People said things about how HYDRA was grabbing omegas off the street for their super soldiers, and how the one at our base was the biggest and scariest.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow at her tone. He wasn’t exactly sure what he expected her to sound like while she regaled them with her life story, but he definitely thought there would be a tad bit more apprehension in her voice. She seemed proud of herself, and more matter-of-fact than a lot of omegas would be while talking about their alpha’s previous partners. Or...whatever you called prisoners whose only purpose was to help during ruts.

“And I bet he was,” she sighed, leaning her cheek on Bucky’s chest and looking up at him adoringly. 

“Well, I don’t know about that…” Bucky said, an almost shy smile on his lips. And...was he actually blushing?

Steve was going to lose his mind. 

“You said the other omegas couldn’t handle it? That’s why you were given the serum?” he prompted, trying to keep them on track before he drowned in the sticky sweetness of her happy pheromones. 

“Right.” she turned her attention back to Steve and Bucky let out a quiet huff. “HYDRA didn’t really like to take care of us. And the soldier--I mean, Bucky--would wear them out. So...HYDRA would just kind of let them go. Or put them down, maybe. I never saw it.”

Bucky’s expression dropped. His blush was gone, and he almost looked like he was going to be sick as he listened to her talk.

“But it wasn’t his fault,” she said quickly, glancing between him and Steve. “I don’t think it was ever on purpose, you were just...demanding.”

He gave a groan, leaning his head back against the couch. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it, doll. I’d rather know what I did, at this point.”

She offered a small shrug. “I don’t really remember it being that bad, but I don’t think I ever met you before they gave me the serum.”

“That’s something, at least.” he mumbled, dragging a hand down his face. 

“Why you?” Steve asked. “Did you have any prior military experience, any ties to something the others didn’t?”

“No.” she laughed. “I never even got in fights before HYDRA.”

“Then why’d they use such an important resource on you, specifically? Not trying to take a dig at you, it’s just...well, omegas don’t usually…”

“I know,” she said. “Omegas aren’t supposed to be tough, right? That’s why they only ever let alphas become super soldiers.”

“That’s not what I…” Steve trailed off and then sighed. “Sorry.”

“I told you, they gave me the serum so that I would be strong enough to hold my own. It also ensured I would always be around, no matter how many years passed.” Her fingers found Bucky’s free hand and she took it, absentmindedly playing with the smooth vibranium knuckles. “Having me as a constant meant they could stop spending so much time and effort on always having a new omega around for him. Plus…well, I wasn’t really there, but I heard something about it once…”

“What?” Bucky asked. 

“They let you choose who was going to become your omega.” She said, looking up at him. “They gave you a bunch of scents, and you chose mine. I guess it was the only reason they didn’t, uh...humanely euthanize me.”

His eyes were wide. The thought of HYDRA killing his omega brought a low growl to his throat, his chest rumbling with the vibrations of it. “No.”

“Well, clearly they didn’t!” She said brightly. “My file said I was a kicker.”

“So they gave you, an already aggressive omega, the serum, but never gave you any trigger words or fished around in your brain?” Bruce shook his head. “Surprisingly sloppy, considering who they are.”

“It’s not like they ever sent me out into the world. I stayed in my cell all day, unless I was needed for a rut. Then I went and stayed in a different cell.” She sighed. “And if they ever needed to, they could just use the alpha to grab me.”

Bucky clearly didn’t like the thought of that. He made a frustrated sound, leaning his head back again. “Great.”

“It was never bad.” She let go of his hand, moving her fingers to cup his jaw. “You never hurt me. You wouldn’t. Sometimes, when I acted up, they would make you go retrieve me, because they knew you were the only one who could do it. If they didn’t send you, they would just knock me out.”

“So...that was it?” Steve asked. “Ruts, serum, cryo?”

“For thirty years!” She chirped. “The last time they froze me, they were freezing him, too. They always tried to keep us in cryo at the same time so that I could be thawed out and ready when he needed me. But...I guess they just...left me there?” She frowned. 

“See, that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.” Steve said. “I didn’t see any signs of a struggle at that base. I’d say they left in an orderly fashion, but the fact that they didn’t take you along makes me think they were in more of a hurry than they made it seem.”

“Natasha might have a better idea,” Bruce suggested. “We can talk to her, try to figure out—“

“FRIDAY, open the damn door or so help me God I will rewrite your entire personality.” A voice interrupted from the other side of the door. 

“I’m sorry, Tony, but Captain Rogers asked me not to.” The AI said. 

“Well, is it an emergency?” The man scoffed.

“No emergency measures have been executed. No security breaches have been identified.”

“Then I’m sorry, but Captain Rogers does not outrank me when it comes to my own robots. Open the door, beautiful.”

She seemed to sigh. “Very well, Mr. Stark.”

Ten perked up, leaning forward slightly. She was watching the door curiously, tilting her head a little when she heard it slide open. Bucky rolled his eyes, grumbling to himself quietly and pulling her up against his side as another alpha strode in. 

“Really? Having a party without me?” the man asked, a smooth, casual air about him as he walked in and looked at everyone on the couches. When his eyes landed on the omega cuddled up next to Bucky, he stopped. “Ah, is this our new guest?”

“Go away, Stark.” Bucky growled. He didn’t like how long the other man’s gaze was lingering on his omega, not when there weren’t any scars on her neck to show who she belonged to.

“Always such a charmer, Barnes.” Tony said, flopping down next to Steve. “Lovely to see you, too. Care to introduce me to your friend? ….No, you’d rather just snarl and forget your words? I knew you were old, but I didn’t realize you were actually a caveman.”

“Tony,” Bruce groaned. “Don’t aggravate him. Please.”

“Why not?” Tony leaned back against the cushions, completely at ease and totally happy to be pressing every one of Bucky’s buttons. 

“Are you Tony Stark?” Ten asked, wiggling out of Bucky’s grip to sit on the edge of their couch. 

Bucky caught her around the waist before she could get very far, though, and dragged her onto his lap. He loomed over her, sneering dangerously at Tony as the other alpha flashed a smile. 

“Bingo.” he said. 

“I never thought I’d meet a Stark,” she admitted. “I always heard about Stark Industries, but I lived too far away from any big cities to ever get to see any of his exhibitions.”

“Ah. You’re from my father’s time. Of course.” Tony shot a pointed glare in Bucky’s direction. “Seems like Bruce left out a few teensy weensy important details on the phone today.”

“Well, it’s been, uh...an ongoing learning experience.” Bruce said sheepishly. 

“Lots of developments, huh?” Tony raised an eyebrow. 

“You could say that.” Steve said under his breath. “We came up here so Ten could be more comfortable while we talk.”

“Oh yeah? What’re we talkin’ about?” Tony asked. 

“They were asking about my time with HYDRA,” she answered, cutting in before anyone else could. “And with...Bucky.”

Saying his name felt odd. Her tongue wasn’t used to it, and her mind wanted to call him alpha, or Winter Soldier. Bucky just seemed so…casual, such a strange thing to call a deadly super soldier. When she heard herself, though, she decided that she definitely didn’t hate it. 

Bucky’s heart gave a little leap at the sound of his name falling from her lips. He wanted her to say it over and over again, in whispers and in screams, for nobody else’s ears but his. 

“...Buck?” Steve asked, pulling him away from his thoughts. “You, uh, kinda zoned out there.”

It wasn’t until Bucky looked at Steve that he realized his eyes had been trained on the omega in his lap. “Yeah?”

“...Is this seriously how you’ve spent the past day and a half?” Tony asked. “Steve, I’m sorry, and I’m sure you’re just trying to be as helpful as you can be, like always, but I think you should let these two get a room.”

Steve looked at him incredulously. “Tony, really? I’m trying to get to the bottom of why exactly HYDRA would abandon the omega they pumped full of super soldier serum. They can get a room later—“

“Yeah, uh, wonder boy? I don’t think your pal is gonna last much longer before he tries to rip our heads off.” Tony nodded towards a very disgruntled Bucky. “You can resume your interrogation tomorrow, Cap.”

Steve looked to Bruce for help, but he only offered a small shrug and stood, heading towards the door. “He’s right, Steve. They deserve some alone time.”

“But—hey!” Steve protested as Bucky picked his omega up, striding past the two alphas sitting on the opposite couch. 

“Thanks for everything, Steve.” Bucky said over his shoulder. 

Ten squirmed, peeking around Bucky’s arm as she was carried away. “Bye, Mr. Stark!”

“Don’t look at him,” Bucky growled as they walked out the door. 

“Did his father really make hoverboards? I heard once that Howard was promising hoverboards—“

“No.” He said flatly. 

“...oh.” She huffed, slumping against him. “Where are we going?”

“My apartment.” Bucky stepped into the elevator, his grip still tight around her. 

The omega perked up. “You have a whole apartment?”

He puffed his chest out a little. “Course I do. Gotta have a nice place for you, don’t I?”

“So I can stay?” Her eyes were bright and happy. “I can stay there, with you, all the time? Not just when you rut?”

He felt a sad little pang in his heart. When he spoke again, his voice was low and soft. “Of course, sweetheart.”

Then, his eyes widened as he realized what he was saying. “I mean, uh...i-if you want to, that is. I know it’s fast and all, and maybe...would you rather have your own room? Or I can stay on the couch—“

“Bucky,” she cut him off with a laugh, a soft hand cupping his jaw. “You’ve been my alpha for seventy years. I’d say we’re actually moving pretty slow.”

His expression relaxed again, lips stretching into a small smile. “Right. Yeah. You’re right.”

They spent the rest of the elevator ride in comfortable silence, Bucky rubbing his scent glands all over her hair. He wanted to make sure that the next time they encountered anyone else, she smelled exactly like him.

Like her alpha.

When the elevator came to a gentle stop at Bucky’s floor, the doors opened, and he stepped out in front of his apartment door. It opened for him, having already scanned his biometrics, revealing a small, but cozy, living room. 

He set his omega down on her feet, watching anxiously as she stepped into his quarters. Did she like it? Fuck, was it too small? It was too small. She probably hated it. Fuck, fuck, fuck...he had to salvage this somehow. 

“Well, uh…” shit, he sounded too nervous. He wanted her to think he was a strong, capable alpha. 

He cleared his throat for another start. “Welcome home, Omega.” 

Wait. That wasn’t right. Should he be calling her that? No, probably not, it sounded too possessive, too uncaring. He wished he just knew her fucking name, or something. 

“I mean…Ten?”

Shit, he sounded so stupid. He wanted to impress her, not...do whatever this was.

She just laughed, though, turning and looking at him with those eyes that sparkled like starlight. “Amoretta. My name is Amoretta.”

[infinitegalahad]

GENERATION KILL: COMFORTING THERE PARTNER

"This is just me formally submitting a request for that gk boys offering their own forms of comfort fic/ headcanon/ thoughts wtevr. Lol just as a reminder. 😀"@theboardwalkbody

Gif Credit: @ymagor

A/N: You're wish is my command, homes❣️ Here's a little change of pace! @theboardwalkbody inspired this post (and asked it!), so thanks for the Inspo friend! 🤩 I'm doing this for BoB and TP because I'm going through a slight writer's block and instead of thinking about long descriptions, I just wanna so head canons that get a little out of hand. I hope this isn't too ooc😔 Reader has *inserted mental illness* btw, it's up for interpretation! ALSO GN! READER! Enjoy!

Taglist: @theboardwalkbody @contrabandhothead

Masterlist

NATE FICK-

Nate's a calculated person. He can see the patterns in people, things, etc. Like how his father's eyebrows wrinkle when he's excited, or when his mother likes to prep a meal from vegetables to the main course. So when you're happy, sad, whatever-he knows it, and you don't even have to tell him.

He'll come home and see you. He knows that you've heard him calling you're name, but you don't move. He looks all over the house and finds you inside of your tub, just sitting there with no response. The water is running, and your clothes and hair are soaked.

So in an attempt to not disrupt your peace, Nate climbs in and sits next to you. You look over and he's stares at you. Just as your about to speak, he beats you to it.

"I'll get you a towel and some clothes."

And then, he just leaves. You hear the door quietly shut, and you blink for a few seconds. What the hell just happened? It snapped you out of your depressive trance. Now instead of feeling sad-you just were confused.

So you hear the door lightly open again and then close. After a few more minutes of soaking, you get out and see a towel and a set of clothes that are most certainly not yours. It's Nate's Dartmouth Lacrosse sweater and a pair of underwear-he knows you too well.

So you exit the bathroom and you see Nate, putting two cups down of you're favorite tea

And he's got that face. You know the face were he's like ☹️

"Hey, c'mere."

The two of you climb into bed with eachtoher. He throws one of those ugg blankets over you. You rest his head in his chest and he pats your head. There's a silence, until Nate says, "Do you wanna walk about it."

Normally, you'd say no and he'd read you a book you're reading or hold you as you cry, but this time, it's different.

"Yeah, I do. You won't judge, right?"

Nate tilts you chin up, and he's got a tired smile on his face.

"Why would I?"

BRAD COLBERT-

Brad may appear horrible with emotions and reading the room...in which he isn’t

Okay, scratch that. He tries to understand them, it’s just hard for him to give advice and use words to comfort you. He feels like he’s walking on glass, But sometimes, you just need him psychically more then anything.

When you storm out of a room when Chaffin makes a comment on your weight, Brad takes a few minutes to think what he should do.

Normally, he’d just leave you be, but he’s gotta do something. Getting up, he follows you down the hallway. You’re not far, and he’s calling you’re name.

You stop in the hallway, wiping the tears coming down toye face. Brad turns you around with his hands on your shoulder. He’s got a blank face on as he looks at you, seeing your red face and the tears.

While you sob and stutter, he fixes the collar of your shirt, tucks your hair behind your ear, which is normal. He likes to neaten you up to make you feel better.

But he starts to use his thumb, wiping the tears coming down your face. You shocked as he cups your face, making you look into those icy cold eyes. He looks like the Iceman, cold and emotionless, but what he says very Brad.

“You’re beautiful.”

Then he pulls you into a tight grasp. He’s a whole foot taller then you, and you like the way he snakes his hands around his waist and slightly lifts off you your feet. His sheer presence is intimating, but for you; comforting. 

RAY PERSON-

THIS MAN. although a hick with a big mouth, he does know when to shut up and can read you’re emotions like the back of his hand.

He can just see the sadness swelling in your eyes and the way you pick at the foot at your plate and avoid all of needs for cuddles in bed. Heck, it’s making Ray sad.

So he does what he does best-not shutting up, well-about things he likes about you.

“Man! Look at my hot girlfriend/wife! There reading books by the liberal media, total smartie here! Oh! And they have a degree from-“

Ray will also beg for to your attention and follows you around like a puppy. Like you’ll be sitting on the couch and he’ll come rest his head on your lap. You ignore him, but he starts to twist and quote random movies so you finally give in.

Is Ray annoying? Yes. But did he make you smile? Also yes.

Also Ray is a cook, and knows all of your favorite meals. Of course, he sets the table, lights a few Mantown candles (yes there real google them), and comes to serve your meal with two plates.

“The most beautiful man/woman I have ever seen, the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the Avril to my Bizzy D-you’re hot pockets.”

It makes you laugh, which makes Ray happy. He feeds off of that attention. You sit in Ray’s lap, eating hot pockets, and watching The Best Damn Tour. You lean on Ray’s shoulder, and he leans right back.

POKE ESPERA-

Alexa play Whatta Man’ by Salt-N-Peppa BECAUSE! WHAT! A! MAN!

Poke is one tough mofo. He embodies the meme of “Good morning to my beautiful wife/husband and child everybody else get fucked”.

But like every baddie; baddie’s gotta have soft spots for there bitches. He has two; you and his daughter. And oh god he’s love the two of more then anything in the world.

Poke knows you and his daughter well enough. His daughter first notices that your not as enthusiastic and bubbly, and then she tells Poke. But Poke already knows because he’s observant and very in touch with his emotions.

So when he’s a work; he thinks and does a lot of self reflection. He wonders why you’re upset. Did he cause it? What can he do to make it better? He asks all the guys for advice, and even his own daughter.

An idea strikes! Poke’s got a lot of anger, so his therapist told him to express his emotions by journalling. But Poke learns that it helps him get everything out of system, so he’s a secret writer. Heck, he even likes poetry; and would kill anyone if they’d find out.

While off at work, small letters start to appear across you’re house. Some are long, some are short, but there sweet and make you’re day.

“I held the stars in my arms wen I held you”

“I can’t wait to kiss you.”

“Your eyes stole all of my words away”

And the covers of the notes are done by Poke’s daughter, covered in glitter and Lisa Frank stickers.

You confront Poke about this “mysterious pen pal” and Poke is like “I mean, your lips do sound tempting”

You know it’s Poke, and he knows it, but there’s something about the mystery that is very romantic.

WALT HASSER-

Here comes our favourie country pumpkin

Now let me say. This man LOVES you more then anything the world

Doesn’t wanna show you off (but he does)

So when you’re the slightest bit sad, Walt is even sadder then you are

Walt is someone that lives to receive attention, and also he’s someone that likes to give it. Especially to the love of his life!

Walt gives you things you actually need, and nothing that is materialistic. Growing up, his parents had a healthy relationship, and the apple clearly doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Waits on you hand and foot. A back massage? Done. A fuzzy blanket? Right on it! A specific burger from a joint that is thirty minutes away at three in the morning? Walt’s driving like a manic just for you. You have the man’s undivided attention.

“Walt?”

He stops whatever he’s doing and runs over, getting on his knees, “Yeah, what’s up baby?”

“Can you sing the song? Y’know, our song?”

Walt nods his head, now an eager puppy, and gets his gutair to play the song he wrote especially for you. And this is making me realize how painfully single I am oh my

RUDY REYES-

Rudy has an iv of respect woman/men juice. He always understands the assignment-and desires extra credit.

So whenever you’re down in the dumps, Rudy will drop everything and drag you into the car to go walk on his favorite trail. It’s ten miles long, but Rudy is a fitness freak.

First, you hate doing it. But the more you talk these long walks, the more you begin to enjoy it.

Sometimes there silence. Rudy won’t speak force you to talk. Talking is stressful, and Rudy will wait until you’re ready. The two of you holds hands, and Rudy has such a calming presence. It’s really hard to get angry at him.

You finally speak and tell Rudy you’re problems, and he listens and doesn’t interrupt. He’s got a hand on you’re lower back, or on your thigh. He’s basically you’re emotional support teddy bear and will always be a lending ear, or a total cuddle monster.

Rudy has the best advice as well. It’s always some yoga shit, but damn, those breathing  exercises do actually help.

EVAN “Q-TIP” STAFFORD-

Oh Q-Tip. My feral goblin son😭

I love him, but sometimes-things can fly over his head.

But when you start to ignore him and hide away from him, he begins to notice. And he HATES IT.

Like Christianson will ask him if he’s okay and he’ll literally quote a 2pac song and be like,

“I would drop all my girls for you, Walk barefoot 'round the world for you, Fly around like the birds for you, Thats why I wrote these words for you..”

Lilley is like “Brah we gotta help a homie out”

So the three stooges create Lovegate. The mission? to make Q-Tip’s partner happier.

Q-Tip is very artistically inclined. So with Christenson’s editing skills and Lilley’s camera, Q-Tip writes you a song and does a whole music video.

The man rents out a movie theatre venue just to show you. Of course, you’re blown away. It’s horrible and you can taste the autotone, BUT IT’S THE EFFORT THAT COUNTS. and q-tip has that smile on. you know what i’m talking about!

Doc Bryan walks in on the two of you making out and is pissed since all he wanted to do was see the re-screening of Bridemaids but NO, Q-Tip just had to rent out a theatre to show his partner a music video about them and then make out.

He see’s Lilley, who’s recording and asks to interview what Doc’s opinion on the music video, and this is what he’s says.

“I think my ears bled, but thank fuck those two aren’t acting like emo’s.”

DOC BRYAN-

The gif has a purpose. Trust me. SPEAKING OF THE MAN OF THE HOUR

Bryan, like Poke, is a very observant guy. He’s an angry motherfucker, and even a little insensitive, but ever since dating you; he’s tried to change.

He hates the world. People are shitty, and it makes him feel shitty that you’re sad because when you feel shitty, he’s in a shitter mood then he’s usually in

Knowing that his words might sound a little harsh, Byran knows how to distract you. Without words. After all, he didn’t work out for nothing.

Long hugs are you’re thing. The two of you will run into eachother, find a private place, and he’ll just wrap his arms around you. His big arms are protective, and he’s warm, and you just sink into him.

Sometimes, you’ll fall asleep. Byran sometimes will fall asleep with you, other times he’ll gently lay you down and put a blanket with a gentle forehead kiss.

When you cry in his arms, he’ll wipe the tears away. He can feel them against his arm, and he doesn’t know what to do. Crying girls/guys are not his speciality.

But when you squeeze his arm back, to let you know what your there and that you love him, Byran will freeze. He has no idea what to next with words. He’ll put his hand over yours, and turns out; it works well.

After this is all over, he’ll check up on you and ask you simply if you’re okay. You respond with a smile. Byran isn’t one for smiles, but for you, he shows a subtle smile back. Just to let you know.

[rogue-durin-16]

THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part VI/VII)

"the downfall"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst mostly

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

Things never go as planned: @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @sunshineandshadows @missmulti @accioweaslcy @andreaareynoso @georgeweasley16 @dianarte @skarlettmikaelson

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality

Warnings: language, allusions to sex

A/N: my apologies for keeping y'all waiting for this one darlings, but here comes the next part YAYY! Enjoy <3

Prologue: the aftermath

Part I: sleepless nights

Part II: candy floss

Part III: shock therapy

Part IV: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VII: apart

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

He had left me in the room that morning, alone, with regret and guilt straining my chest, with embarrassment and panic heaving over me, my only company being a terrible headache and a sore body.

I was still waiting for him to come back. Of course, he still lived in the apartment, but the day after, he slept at Shell Cottage because Bill needed help with the chores, and the next night at the Burrow because Molly had asked to keep an eye on 'the kids' —the kids being Ginny, Harry, Ron and Hermione— while she and Arthur were off to visit Andromeda, and at Lee's because Angelina was away and they were going to have a boys' weekend; in summary, he managed to avoid stepping into the flat while I was in there for an entire week.

I would be lying if I said the idea of moving out hadn't crossed my mind, but I knew I was being dramatic— we were being dramatic; we were adults, even if we forgot about it more often than not, and adults talk things out, so I decided to confront him at the only place I would manage to corner him; the shop.

When I descended from the office on the second floor, I spotted the ginger turning the 'CLOSED' to face the glass door. "Oi!" His head snapped to me as I climbed downstairs and he instantly walked to the shelves on the opposite side. "Can I have a word?" I requested, following him, only for George to move on to another shelf.

"Right now I'm quite busy." He replied, seemingly absent-minded as he pretended to check the products in front of him.

"This is important." I insisted, moving to stand besides him.

Not fast enough, though, because he was off to yet another part of the shop as soon as I got close. "I'm sure it can wait."

"You know it can't," I assured intently, stalking after him, only for him to speed up his own pace, moving from product to product without stopping too long in front of him. "George I'm- Oi, stop! We need to talk about this!"

"Well maybe I don't wanna talk about this!" He exclaimed, taking big steps under one of the stairs in order to shamelessly dodge the hand with which I had reached out to stop him.

"George Weasley don't run away from me!"

"I'm not running away from you!"

"You're literally RUNNING AWAY!"

He stopped circling the counter and stood across from me, slamming his palms over the till. "ALRIGHT, LOVE!" for the first time, I didn't like the way the name dripped off his tongue. "Let's talk about how we accidentally FUCKED! That's what you want so badly, isn't it?!" Flush crept up his neck and ears, and I couldn't tell if it was from anger or from timidness. "Go on, darling, lead the bloody way!"

I felt my own cheeks going red, partly because of his straightforward statement but also because I genuinely had never heard George raise his voice like he had just done.

"Cat's got your tongue now?!" My stuttering seemed to fuel his anger more. "C'mon, Y/n, talk! You wanted to talk!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, GEORGE!" He clenched his jaw as his freckles drowned in a sea of pinkish red. "Yeah I want to talk! 'Cause that's what grown-ups do! We don't know how to act around each other so we just don't spend time together anymore— Fuck, I've barely seen you! AND WE. LIVE. TOGETHER!" I emphasised each word with stomps. "We can either pretend it didn't happen or talk it out to make sure we're on the same page, you choose but for Merlin's sake, don't avoid me!"

"OKAY!" His eyes widened, surprised at his own tone, and then he repeated in a softer, self-conscious one, "Okay." He breathed deeply and then added. "We're on the same page, right?" His eyebrows raised as he looked into my eyes. "It was... A mistake."

I should have noticed the uncertainty and hope in his voice, but I panicked and was too quick to respond, "Yeah! A massive mistake." My words stung my heart and, to my dismay, his own just as much. "Can we go back to being friends? Because I'm going crazy without you." I blamed our watery eyes to the argument we had had, and not to the fact that it had been a mistake.

He circled the counter and walked to me, hesitating before pulling me into a hug. "Can I...?" I tugged him closer, wrapping my arms around his middle. It took a moment for him to ease into my embrace, and I could tell we had fucked up our friendship for good. "It's alright, we'll make it right again." His words made me squeeze him tighter, as if he was about to vanish from my side.

And from then, we tried to make it right, we tried so hard, because it seemed so easy to make it wrong again.

Everytime we stood too close, everytime he leaned on to whisper something, everytime I helped him with his tie, our eyes would fall on each other's lips; I would sometimes drift off the conversation, staring too much at his mouth and hands, wandering if they would feel just as amazing as they had done while we were drunk.

"Y/n are you listening?"

"Uh yeah- I mean, no- sorry, what?"

I was so focused on trying to hide it that I didn't notice George was in the exact same situation, meaning that neither of us could give in, because we would go down together. In all honesty, it was doomed to happen at some point, we were just delaying the inevitable.

The moment came the last night of January, when George showed up in my room due to a really rough nightmare, and I, as always, invited him in so we could lay down together.

"Isn't this... Weird?" He murmured as we scooted closer. We had kept physical contact at bay for obvious reasons, and cuddling had been off the table since New Year.

"It doesn't have to be." I replied, my voice as quiet as his. "We've done this a thousand times."

"Right." He cleared his throat, averting his eyes from mines as we shifted in our places ever so slightly, trying to find a position where the situation turned less awkward.

And it happened, my mind got lost on the way his neck tensed, on the damp locks hanging over his forehead, sweaty due to the nightmare; on his plump lips, which he had just wetted with his tongue in the most subtle way. It was a nervous habit of him, something he would usually do, but that didn't make it any less hot.

"George..." I called his name without noticing, my heart hammering violently against my chest when his gaze landed on my eyes, quickly falling on my lips.

The next thing I knew was that he was holding my thigh over his hip, his other hand on the back of my neck while we shared a hungry kiss that, as soon as my hips involuntarily rocked against his, turned into something more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

The next morning we swore to each other that it was just another accident, that it would happen again.

And the next one too.

And the following.

The fifth time that happened, we agreed to call the situation a 'friends with benefits' kind of thing, well aware that it was an euphemism for the downfall of our friendship.

I had longed to be hers for so long, and it that moment, as I lay by her side in her bed, that wish seemed so close yet so far; I could reach out and my fingertips would touch her skin, yet I had never felt that distant towards her.

The moment my eyes were averted from her form, her gaze was laid on me. "You don't have to go."

"I know." I replied in a mumble, already sitting up and reaching for my pants. "But soon we'll have to get up, so I might as well do that and let you sleep." I didn't want to turn around, I didn't want to see her beautiful irises pleading for me to stay by her side, because I knew I would.

I saw on my peripheral vision her fingers attempting to carefully wrap around my wrist, and I was quick to stand up and walk to the door; sadly, I did not miss Y/n burying her face into the pillow, her hands fisting on the fabric ever so subtly.

She tried to hide her tears like that, and I agressively wiped mines as soon as I reached the corridor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Morning, lady!" I light-heartedly greeted Y/n without turning my back to the making of our breakfast when I heard the steps approaching the kitchen.

In the morning it was easier to pretend everything was back to normal; usually, the refreshing sunlight and the drowsiness provided by a night of sleep were enough to wash away the sad truth of our relationship.

"Good morning, sir." She responded with a yawn, rubbing her eyes as she walked to stand besides me, leaning against the counter with her arms folded. "Smells good." She commented, leaning on to take a peek at the scrambled eggs.

I was about to make a cocky, playful comment when it dawned on me what she was wearing; it was my jumper, one of the old ones that I exclusively used for pyjamas.

I knew she didn't do it intently; I had left it on the floor the previous night, and it was probably the first thing she grabbed, but it struck a nerve.

I had seen a similar scene way too many times before; a sleepy, dishevelled Y/n entering the kitchen with an ugly Weasley jumper as only clothing, ready to start the bickering with an almost identical version of me who would be making breakfast.

My head then travelled to the thought that lately crossed my mind more often than not and my heart clenched; In Y/n's eyes, I was, most likely, just a poor replacement for Fred.

"You alright?" That worried furrow appeared between her brows too often lately. We were both walking on eggshells, and it got me on my nerves.

"You don't have to ask if I'm alright every time I'm quiet." I hadn't meant it to come out harsh or curt, but it definitely did.

"You're not quiet, you're overthinking." She responded with a tinge of hostility.

"What's to overthink?" I fought the need to raise my voice.

"Dunno, you tell me." She squinted her eyes with a scrutinising gaze directed to me.

"Can we not do this?" I almost pleaded; heated arguments had become a usual thing between us —yet another sign of the unfixable problem we refused to address.

Y/n was about to reply something that would lead us into a fight when the doorbell rung. "Mister Weasley?" I took that as a cue to go open the door to Verity, already dressed on her uniform. "The Valentine's Day products arrived, should I unpack them or..." Her eyes flickered behind me and her cheeks heated up. "Y/n—" When I looked over my shoulder, I felt my own face flushing out of embarrassment. Y/n was still my employee and Fred's ex, so Verity catching a glimpse of her dressed in my jumper wasn't the best thing for any of us. "I— am I— sorry, am I interrupting?"

"You're not interrupting." I assured her with a reassuring smile. "Leave the boxes on the puking pastries section, we'll be down in ten."

"Alright, sir." Her curious gaze travelled to Y/n one last time, and with that, she was rushing back down to the shop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

The ache that had appeared on my chest the day after New Year would end up killing me, or at least it felt like that.

I had a dreadful gut feeling of knowing what caused that pain, but my mind refused to believe it was that, and kept pushing the sensation back into my heart day by day.

George had gone to relocate the puking pastries in the upper level of the shop so I could prepare the section with the Valentine's Day products.

My eyes dawned on the small packages of Amortentia. I knew it was a terrible idea but I needed to know.

I took a look around, making sure Verity wasn't near and George was up still, and brought one of the Amortentias under my nose. It didn't take long for the scents to besot me, and I had to put all my will on not to fall under the potion's spell.

The first smell to reach my nostrils was gunpowder; my heart skipped a bit when the next scent was vanilla.

Then strawberry and chocolate; candy floss cupcakes and George's cologne.

The tiny, heart-shaped bottle fell from my hands, scattering all over the shop's floor. "Shit!" I rapidly kneeled to pick the shattered glass when I realized it had echoed in the empty establishment.

"Oi! What was that?" George descended from the second floor, using the ladder. "Oh shit—" his hands took a hold on my bicep and pulled me away from the pool of pinkish pearl liquid that seemed to be attracting me. "Don't!" He warned Verity, who had attempted to jog in the potion's direction too. "Verity, can you bring me my wand?" The girl complied running up to the office.

In Verity's absence, George took the chance and cupped my cheeks, tilting my head up to check my eyes. "You alright?" I managed to give him a slow nod, my mind buzzing with the newly acquired information. "Getting the Amortentias was a bad idea, wasn't it?" I nodded again, producing a frown between his eyebrows. "No 'told you so'? Are you sure you're alright?" He chuckled nervously, his hands falling to his sides right in time for Verity to rush back to us.

"Here, Mister Weasley!"

"Thank you, darling." He politely replied, taking the wand and restoring the potion bottle in a swift movement. His eyes peeked at me again; I could see the worry growing on him. "Y/n-"

"I'm gonna go wash my face." The words hastily left my mouth before I dashed off to the restroom.

I closed the door behind me and took a look at the mirror; my pupils were blown and my cheeks pink. I ran the tab and splashed the water on my face a few times until the potion's mild effect was gone and my mind clear.

It was in that moment that it dawned on me that I was in love with George Weasley.

[clanoffetts]

someday. | paz vizsla x fem!reader

chapter iv

masterlist

synopsis: Paz Vizsla finds himself stuck on Dantooine with a broken ship and no credits. Luckily, he finds you, a mechanic that will fix his ship for passage to Hosnian Prime. Over the course of your time together, a courtship blooms.

warnings/things to note: star wars swear words; reader has hints of PTSD that show up in this chapter, mentions of night terrors/nightmares and some alluding to depression; blatant lack of knowledge of ship mechanics; altering the canon timeline a little (my blog, my canon)

word count: 5.7k

note: i ended up moving a lot of Han and Leia stuff to the next chapter, so this one is a little shorter than I originally anticipated. still, I hope you enjoy!

Travels in hyperspace got very boring very quickly. The view out the windows was the same blue light, and there was no turning or swerving or other ships passing to break up the monotony. Sure, cuddling and holodramas were nice for a while but two days in, you were restless with boredom. 

Paz, of course, was not restless. Occasionally he’d do some push-ups or pull-ups but you knew it was not the result of boredom. 

“Kebiin’ika?” he asks, sitting down in the cockpit with you. 

“Hmm?” You tear your eyes away from a book on your datapad to look at him. 

“Wanna learn how to use one of these?” He pulls his vibroblade from his belt and holds it up. It looks very different from the one he gave you, there are no intricate markings on the one he holds.

“I think I’m going to be a slow learner,” you warn.

He laughs. “I’m patient.”

“I know,” you nod, remembering how he could just sit for a long time. “Alright. When am I learning?”

He gestures his arms out. “Right now. We can move the table and the couch.”

You agree, anxious to finally have something to do. You help him with the anchors on the round table and the booth-like seat around it, moving them up towards the cockpit. Paz carries the seat with ease, leaving you behind to grunt with the heavy metal table until he finally returns to help you, sliding it across the floor with one arm.

“Show off,” you huff, but he just chuckles. 

“Go get your blade, mesh’la,” he commands. You turn and walk back towards your room, retrieving the blade from your bag where it was carefully wrapped in some fabric. You study it as you slowly walk back to the common area, taking note of the differences between yours and the one Paz had pulled from his belt earlier. The blade that was now yours had a beautiful handle made of some sort of dark stone, embellished with gold metal. The blade had intricate carvings on it as well, one you recognized from Paz’s armor as well as many you didn’t recognize. It seemed important, almost like an heirloom, why’d he give it to you?

You return back to the common area and find him just standing there, waiting. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” you reply. 

He’s holding a wooden blade in his hand now, it’s dull and chipped in some places. “Don’t want to hurt you,” he explains. “You don’t have a body of beskar.” 

“Right. But I don't want to hurt you either,” you say, though you didn’t think you could hurt him if he tried. 

He knocks his knuckles on the chestplate. “Mesh’la, beskar is one of the strongest metals there is. Resistant even to the weapon of the Jedi.” 

You were a little shocked, first at the mention of Jedi, and then that beskar could hold strong against the swords you’d heard of the Jedi carrying. You’d seen Luke Skywalker’s on his belt, but never seen it ignited. You knew Leia trained with him often and now had one of her own, but you never asked to see it. “Oh,” you say. “Then I guess I don’t have to worry about you.”

“Right,” he agreed. “Now, what do you know about fighting?”

You recalled your very brief ‘lessons’ back on the rebel base. “Shoot the guys in white.” He looked a little confused. “The stormtroopers,” you explain.

“Yeah, I picked up on that part,” he says. “That’s all they taught you?”

You nodded. “I was a mechanic, love, not a soldier.”

“Alright. Well, maybe that’s best,” he says. “No bad habits to unlearn.” You agreed with a nod. “Ok, first thing is your stance.” 

He begins moving your body around, your arms and hips and feet, positioning you for the form he thought would be best for someone your size. He was murmuring things to himself but you had no clue what they meant. You also had no clue how you were supposed to get into this exact stance in the middle of a fight, but you let him do it anyway. 

“And then you’d take the blade and jab me here,” he says, gesturing to his stomach. “Won’t work on a man in beskar, but most people won’t have beskar. Or any armor, for that matter.” 

He continued showing you moves, small self defense ways to get out of bad situations. He made you run sequences with him, but they made you feel a little useless. Yeah, if he let you win you wouldn’t learn, but, Maker, a win was needed right about now. It’d been three hours, you were sweaty and defeated.

“I have a man in beskar,” you say, defeated yet again, laying on the floor. “So do I really need to be proficient with a blade? I’m obviously not doing well.”

He cocks his head at you, sitting down against the wall next to you. “Kebiin’ika, I won’t always be there. Besides, you are doing well.”

“I’m doing awful, Paz, don’t lie. I haven’t even gotten close to winning.” 

“Because I’m a Mandalorian, mesh’la,” he tells you. “I’ve been training with a blade since I could hold one. You’ve been training with one for three hours, and I promise that you’re doing great.”

You hum out a thank you and then sit in silence for a moment. Your eyes wander back down to the blade vibrating in your hand, studying the markings. “Why’d you give me this one?” you ask. “The pretty one, I mean.”

“It was forged from some of my mother’s armor,” he says. “House Vizsla and Mandalore’s markings are on the blade. Armorer made it for me when I was fourteen, when I put my armor and helmet on for the first time.”

“Your mother’s armor?”

He nods. “They both died, my buire, when I was thirteen. Armor is passed down through families, this armor has been with us for as long as anyone can remember.” He doesn’t expand on his parents’ death, and you don’t pry. The wound still seems fresh, and you wouldn’t be surprised if that’s because he’s never had anyone to talk to. Mandos don’t seem like that type. 

“And you trust me with it?”

“Of course I do,” he says. “Weapons are a part of my religion, mesh’la. A part of who I am, especially that blade. I wasn’t just giving you a blade.” You knew it had been a show of vulnerability, but not one so great, so full of trust. 

You didn’t know what to say. What could you say? So you just leaned into him, ignoring the annoying press of his armor into your side, relieved at the coolness the metal provided. 

You’re not sure how long you sat like that, lost in thought. Paz broke the silence, “We should probably eat and rest. We’ll be in the Hosnian system in ten hours.”

It set in as you watched Paz make soup for lunch that you’ll be seeing Leia soon. You hadn’t kept up with her life in the tabloids, that’s not what she would’ve wanted nor what you wanted. You wanted to know everything, to spend days in her house on Hosnian catching up. But you didn’t want to keep Paz from his home. And yet, you didn’t want to find out what would happen when you and Paz arrived back at his tribe, how they would react to you, an outsider.

As boring as it was, if you could stay in hyperspace forever you wouldn’t need to find out. But you wouldn’t be in hyperspace forever, and you will find out, but for now you push it out of your brain and focus on Paz as he brings soup over to the recently re-anchored table. 

“Here you go, mesh’la,” he says, sitting the bowl down. “Mandalorian specialty.” 

And it was special. Full of spices, ones you would’ve never put together, and vegetables, it was hearty. You slurped it up quickly, before excusing yourself to take a shower so Paz could eat as well. 

The shower was nice after your sparring (if you could even call it that), the hot water felt great on your now sore muscles. You had a hunch that trying to move the table contributed to that just as much as the knife fighting. 

“Paz?” You called as you exited the ‘fresher, now in pajamas. You weren’t too tired, but you knew it was important to make the transition from Yavin time to Hosnian time, and once you were cozy in bed, it wouldn’t be long before the tiredness set in. 

“I’m coming!” He called back, and sure enough he appeared, holding something in his hand. “Made you this while I ate. Well, I altered it.”

He holds out a leather sheath that holds the vibroblade. It’s identical to the dark brown one that still sits on his belt, but this one has a shorter belt, and the leather fits the blade snugly. “Thank you, Paz,” your voice is breathy at the gesture. 

“If you’re gonna fight someone with it, you’ve gotta have a way to carry it,” he says. 

Before you realize it, you’re on tippy toes, placing a kiss to the cheek of his helmet. “It’s lovely, Paz, thank you.” 

He slips past you into the ‘fresher for his turn in the shower as you admire the craftsmanship. Where he shortened the belt and tapered the sheath, the stitching got uneven, but you didn’t mind. The stitches were made with care, with kindness, with love. 

As Paz stripped off his armor in the ‘fresher he felt heat rise up in his body. You’d kissed his helmet. He’d never seen anyone do that before. It was adorable and there was a small mark left on the cheek of his helmet by your lip balm. As the water heated in the shower, he stood and studied the mark of your lips. 

You were settled on the bed when Paz emerged from the ‘fresher in his sleep clothes. He always looked strange with the helmet and none of his other armor on, but it was endearing. You had the sleep mask in hand, a precaution that Paz insisted you didn’t need, but one you took anyway. “You ready to sleep, mesh’la?”

“Yeah, I think so,” you say. “C’mon.” You pat the spot on the bed next to you. The cold of hyperspace is starting to create goosebumps on your skin, and Paz Vizsla is basically a furnace. He moves wordlessly to turn off the lights, watching as you slip the mask over your eyes. The click and hiss of the helmet sounded through the room, barely audible over the hum of the ship. 

The bed dips down as he climbs in, sheets rustling as he settles himself. You lay on your side facing where he would be, but you weren’t sure how he was laying. Extending an arm, you tried to find him. 

“Need something, kebiin’ika?” He asks as your hand lands on his stomach. 

“Just looking for you,” you murmur. He gives you a little chuckle and places his hand over yours. His hand is large, and it engulfs your small one easily. “Night, Paz,” you whisper. 

“Night, mesh’la.” His voice is a low rumble in your ears, and combined with the warmth he’s brought to the bed, sleep comes easily. 

-

The chrono is cruel the next morning. You got enough sleep, sure, but it was cold when you got out of bed and stumbled into the cockpit where Paz sat. He swiveled around in his chair to look at you, still in your pajamas. “Good morning, mesh’la,” he greets. “We’ll be there in two hours. There’s some cereal in the kitchen, if you’d like it.” 

You did like it, the sugary cereal didn’t seem like something Mandalorians would keep on hand, but you were glad they did. You excused yourself back to the bedroom, going through your things and picking out jeans and a t-shirt. For a brief moment you wondered if it was nice enough to meet with Leia, but you quickly dismissed the thought. Leia didn’t expect an ornate gown, you knew that. 

You and Paz moved about the ship, preparing for the landing and preparing the ship to sit dormant in a hangar for at least a few days. Every so often, Paz’s gloved hand drifted to the side of his helmet, where your lips had pressed the night before. He watched as you folded your clothes in different ways so that they’d fit comfortably in your backpack. He watched as you bit your lip, studying the ship to make sure nothing you’d need had been left behind. The same lips that touched his helmet. The heat rose in him again, culminating in his face, making the helmet uncomfortable.

“Kebiin’ika,” Paz says to distract himself. “Where’s your vibroblade?”

“In the cockpit.” 

“C’mon,” he says, gesturing you into the cockpit behind him. “Wanna see what it looks like on you.”

You shuffled into the cockpit behind him and he threaded the belt of the sheath through the belt loops of your jeans, fastening it around your waist. He takes a step back, looking at you with your new weapon.

“Very badass,” he says and you laugh, the both of you taking your seats.

Finally, the ship jolted out of hyperspace. The stars, the planet, and all the other ships in the system were a welcome change from the monotony of hyperspace. “Ready, kebiin’ika?” 

“Born ready,” you reply, grinning at him. There’s a giddiness welling inside you, not only that you’d be seeing Leia but that you’d be in a huge city again, on a Core planet. The years spent in the Outer Rim were peaceful, but sometimes you just want to be surrounded by people.

You were cleared to land on a platform in the heart of the city, Korrie said Leia requested C-3PO be sent for you. Her way of making a joke, you figured. The workers of the hangar would take care of the ship once you’d landed, and you knew Paz was less than thrilled at handing his ship over into the hands of strangers.

“We’re guests of the princess,” you remind him before you disembark. “They won’t hurt your ship.”

“The princess doesn’t know you’ve brought a Mandalorian,” he retorts. If you could read minds you’d know he was terrified of ruining your trip to Hosnian Prime by simply being there. 

But you couldn’t read minds. Instead, you weren’t really sure why that mattered, sure you’d heard of some bad feelings towards Mandos in the Outer Rim but you couldn’t see why that would carry over into the Core. But that didn’t matter at the moment, you needed to get off the ship and into the speeder with the droid. 

You were the first to step out of the ship, the Mandalorian strangely meek behind you. Everyone in the hangar seemed to suck in a breath as the armored man stepped out behind you, all motion stopping momentarily as everyone took in the sight of a Mandalorian. It reminded you of when Paz first walked into town on Dantooine, the whole town halted for a moment.

“Miss! Miss!” A mechanical voice is calling across the hangar. 

“We’re coming, Threepio, give us a second,” you say, pushing on through the oglers towards the golden droid at the mouth of the hangar. The speeder is state of the art, blue with no top, perfect for the kind weather of Hosnian Prime. 

“I’m afraid I was only expecting one person,” C-3PO says as he ushers you two into the speeder. “Though I suppose it won’t affect anything.”

Paz looks at you, and you can only guess he’s rolling his eyes. “This is my Mandalorian friend, Threepio,” you say. “He brought me here.”

“Splendid.”

“How’s Artoo?”

The speeder pulled out of the hangar, exposing you to the breeze as you sped over the city. “Artoo is with Master Luke,” the droid began, continuing on in excruciating detail about how the astromech’s wiring is performing. 

“That’s nice, Threepio,” you say finally, cutting him off halfway through his opinion on the best replacement for R2-D2’s outdated thrusters. “I think I’d like to enjoy the scenery for now. In silence.” You heard Paz exhale in relief next to you, the Mandalorian was close to losing his practiced patience with the droid. C-3PO had that effect on some people.

“Very well then. We will be arriving at the Organa estate in fifteen minutes.” 

You looked out over what was now the less busy parts of the capital city, the further away from the new Senate building, the quieter things got. No wonder Leia liked to live so far out of the city. You found your mind drifting from the scenery to what Leia’s home may look like. Would it be in the typical, Alderaanian minimalism style? Or is she too much like you, pushing away reminders of home? But Alderaan was so much more to Leia than just home.  

The speeder stopped on the steps of a fairly small place on the far outskirts of the city. It was a sleek white on the outside, boxy in shape like most of the homes you’d seen so far on the planet. Paz drew in a breath next to you as the two of you exited the speeder, C-3PO leading the way to the door.

Once inside, you knew Leia was not, in fact, like you. It was like you’d stepped back into a home on Alderaan. The art on the walls evoked Alderaanian style, the white furniture and gray accents were the tells of an Alderaanian decorator. 

“Y/N!” Leia calls from a hallway at the back of the foyer. “And...another guest?” Leia’s hand went to her belt, you weren’t sure if she was searching for the safety of a blaster or her lightsaber, but neither was there. 

You step forward, ahead of Paz. “This is my, uh, boyfriend, Leia.” 

“Ma’am,” Paz said with a bow of his head, not sure if that was the right thing to say. 

Apparently, it wasn’t, as C-3PO stepped forward. “It is ‘Your Highness’ upon the first address of the conversation. After that it can be ma’am, princess, or senator.”

“Oh,” Paz said. “Sorry, Your Highness.” 

“No, no,” C-3PO started, but Leia cut him off. 

“Hush, Threepio, it doesn’t matter,” she says, still eyeing Paz. “Leave us, Threepio.” The droid almost seemed like he would protest, but the look in Leia’s eyes told him not to, so he shuffled out of the foyer and deeper into the house. 

Leia motioned for you to come to her, and you did, wrapping her into a hug. “I’ve missed you, you know.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” Leia said into your neck. “But why in the nine Corellian hells would you bring a bounty hunter into my home?”

You step back and look at her. “He’s not a bounty hunter-”

“Well,” Paz says from behind you. “Not right now, anyway. I only do it out of necessity for my people, ma’am.” You’re slightly taken aback, but take care not to show Leia. Not yet, anyway. It hit you that you’d never really inquired more about the work that had brought your Paz to Dantooine.

Leia looks torn. “You know what one of those Mandalorians did to Han. To me, to Luke.”

“Boba Fett?” Paz asks. He’d heard of the princess killing Jabba the Hutt. He’d known it was Fett’s work. Hell, there wasn’t anyone in the Outer Rim that didn’t know.

“You knew him?” Leia is growing hostile again and you aren’t sure what to do.

Paz shakes his head. “Fett had never even been to Mandalore. I can assure you my people are not like him.” Paz knew that was a bit of a lie, but he hated to screw up this reunion for you. “I’ll give you my weapons while I’m here, if that’s what you want.”

“No,” Leia says, her guard dropping. “I know you’re not a threat. Not to us anyway.” And then she looks at you, then back at Paz. “C’mon, I’ll show you to your room and you can put your stuff away.” 

You follow her through the house, and you aren’t sure how to feel. It feels like Alderaan, the decor, the climate, even the smell somehow, and it’s welcoming for a moment until you remember that this isn’t Alderaan, and nothing will ever be Alderaan, no matter how well curated. But you trained your eyes on Leia, her hair wrapped in braids upon her head, a comfortable white sundress fluttering about her as she walked. 

“Here you are,” she says, leading you into a brilliant room, furniture white, though some pieces tinted with blue. The bedspread is blue, the curtains are blue. All pale and deep shades, the room is calming. “Blue’s still your favorite right? Figured this would be right up your alley.”

“Yeah, blue’s still my favorite,” you smile. She’d remembered. 

“I figured as much. Considering you chose a mountain of blue to be your boyfriend,” she quips, and you roll your eyes. Paz felt his face get hot under the helmet again. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, he repeated in his head. “Oh, will you be needing a room, too?”

“No, ma’am, I don’t think so,” Paz tells her. “Unless kebiin’ika would like me too.”

You shook your head. “He’s with me,” you say as you toss your backpack onto the bed. “Paz, I’d bet you’d like some time without your helmet. Maybe Leia and I can go somewhere else to catch up?” Paz got the hint like you knew he would, and he nodded. 

“Great,” Leia smiled, taking your hand and pulling you out of the room. “Through here,” she says, walking through what you assumed was the master bedroom into a study. 

The study was cozy, full of actual paper books, and warm colored furniture as opposed to the stark white of the rest of the house. Han’s doing, you assumed. “Your home is gorgeous, Leia,” you tell her as you sit in one of the large chairs. 

Leia drapes herself on one of the couches and her dress settles around her stomach, where her hands clasp atop it. She sees you staring at her belly and smiles. “I’m pregnant,” she says. 

“Congratulations!” You exclaim, and she thanks you. “I swear that wasn’t there when I commed you a few days ago, though.”

She giggles. “My clothes are good at deception.”

“Taking notes from Amidala, I see,” you joke, and she laughs. 

“I did actually ask for Rabé’s help. She was my Amidala’s wardrobe mistress,” Leia says. “But enough about me for now. Since when do you date Mandalorian bounty hunters? And why does he call you kebiin’ika? You don’t have a bounty on you-”

You laugh, cutting her off. “It’s a nickname, Leia, I promise I don’t have a bounty on my head. And, well, it’s a long story,” you say. 

You’re not sure how long you sat there, telling Leia of your time on Dantooine, all the way up until the day that Paz came into town, and when you’d landed on Yavin, and when he’d given you the blade. 

“You’re kidding! He gave you a vibroblade? Where is it?” 

You pat your hip, and unsheath the blade. You move to sit next to Leia on the sofa, holding it out for her to see. “These markings on this part of the blade are his house markings,” you say, “And these are just Mandalorian, I think.”

“So, is it like an engagement ring?”

You shook your head. “No, no, I don’t think so. But from what I gather...Mandalorian courtships usually mean marriage.”

“You’re ready for that? You’ve known him, what? A week?”

You sighed. “No, I’m not ready. But I think I could be. Someday.”

“I hope so,” she says. “He makes you happy. A lot happier than the last time I saw you.”

“Leia...I just, I don’t think I can be involved anymore,” you say, the winds of the Naboo lake country gently whipping through your hair. “Now that we’re not fighting all the time, I’m thinking a lot more. About Alderaan, about everyone we’ve lost.”

Her hand was soft on your back. “I know it’s hard,” she said. “But if you take this position in the New Republic you can help so many people. And you can build a house that feels like home. Like Alderaan, just like Sabé made her home like Naboo.”

“I can’t Leia. I can’t make a fake Alderaan and pretend it’s ok. I won’t,” you say. “I have dreams of Alderaan that break me. Dreams of Yavin that break me. Dreams of kriffing Endor that break me. You’re asking me to break myself again for a kriffing committee.” 

Leia’s cheek landed on your shoulder. The tears fell from your face now, and by the feeling of her cheek, she was crying, too. “No,” she whispers. “You can’t break. I need you, a lot of people do.”

“They’re going to have to learn to live without me for a while, I think.”

 “But, whenever you’re ready, you’ll come find me, right?”

“It’s going to be a long time, Leia.”

“But you’ll still come find me. I don’t care if it’s four weeks or forty years, you could show up at my doorstep and I’ll hug you like I always have.”

“Yeah,” you said. “I am a lot happier. I worked through some things. Some things can’t be worked through, though.”

“Alderaan,” she murmurs, leaning into you. “I know. That’s why I love this room so much. It’s so Han, so Corellian, and so not Alderaan.”

“Didn’t take this as a smuggler’s style,” you joke. 

She laughs a little, too. “He doesn’t have a style. I think this is Lando’s doing, Han just put his name on it.”

The room did seem to have Lando’s taste written all over it, though you could guess Lando would rather not have Corellian furniture in his house. Your eyes drifted back to Leia, her hand absent-mindedly stroking her stomach. “When’s the little one due?”

“Four months,” she said. “It’s a boy.”

“A boy with a name?”

“I’m thinking ‘Ben’,” she says. “After Ben Kenobi. Han was thinking ‘Bail’, but I don’t know. I like ‘Ben’.” 

You smiled. “That’s a nice name,” you say. “Besides, a Skywalker needs a Jedi name.”

“Right,” she agrees.

She sits up to face you now. “Will you train him?”

“No,” she says. “I’ll let Luke do that, when he’s ready. And when little Ben is ready. It was never my destiny to become a true Jedi. That was always Luke.”

You smile at her. “You know Mandalorian armor is invincible against a lightsaber?”

“Beskar,” she says. “Yes. It’s very strong. I saw a staff made of beskar once, back on Alderaan when I was little. In a museum, I think.” 

“That’s what Mando wears,” you catch yourself before you say his name, replacing it with the one-size-fits-all nickname. 

She laughs. “Mando isn’t his name right? That’d be awfully unoriginal.”

“No,” you reply. “But Mandalorian religion, it’s...it’s interesting territory. I know his name, though.”

“What’s he look like?” She asks with girlish intrigue, the gossipy voice usually reserved for teenagers poking through.

“I don’t know. And even if I did, I couldn’t tell you.”

Her brow furrows. “You’ve basically agreed to marry him and you don’t know what he looks like?” 

“Ok, first, I agreed to court him.”

“Same difference,” Leia interjects.

You roll your eyes playfully. “And, second, it’s against his creed to remove his helmet unless we’re married.” 

“Oh, maker, I can’t believe you’re going to marry someone for just a kiss, not even dic-”

“Leia!” You cut her off. “Your son can hear you, you know. Through the Force or whatever.”

She lightly hits your arm. “Not how the Force works, dear. And you know I’m right.”

“You aren’t right, your highness,” the nickname annoys her to no end, and that’s exactly why you employed it. “He’s sweet to me, Leia. He even taught me how to fight with this thing yesterday.” You pat the vibroblade on your hip.

“Mandalorians must be patient. I remember when you tried to learn to shoot a blaster,” she smiled with nostalgia at the ‘lessons’ from Yavin IV. The marksmen gave up quickly on teaching the mechanics how to fight.

“Ok, I wasn’t that bad,” you tell her. “And my Mando says I’m doing very well with the knife, thank you very much.”

“Oh you’re in love,” Leia said. “I can see it in your eyes. Kriff, before long you might look like me!” She gestures to her pregnant belly. “Do the Mando babies pop out with the helmet on? That might be an issue.”

You let out an embarrassingly loud laugh at the thought. “Maker, Leia, you’re getting ahead of yourself.”

“Seriously, though,” she says, putting a hand on your knee. “I’m glad you’ve found him. I think he makes you glow.”

It was well past lunch time when the two of you ventured out of the study again. You’d barely scratched the surface with Leia, but the morning’s talking had already made you tired. “Threepio, we’re hungry,” Leia said as she led you into the kitchen. “Ah, Threepio, you sure you aren’t a mind reader?” The table was set for three, some kind of elegant sandwich and soup combo awaited you. 

“Do we invite Mando? Since he can’t really eat with us?”

You nodded. “I’ll go get him, if that’s ok? Don't want him to get lonely or something.” You walked back out of the kitchen, picturing Paz sitting on the edge of the bed still as a statue. 

You knocked on the door. “Paz? It’s me. Can I come in?” It was a moment before he answered, and then you let yourself through the door. He was lounging on the floor against the bed, your datapad in hand. Not at all what you pictured. 

“Hope you don’t mind,” he says, holding up the datapad. “Wanted to catch up on that show. I’ve been a little confused.” 

You giggled a little at the thought of a big bad Mandalorian itching to watch a holodrama. “It’s alright, love. Would you want to come sit with Leia and I while we eat? I think she’d like to get to know you as much as she can.”

Paz wanted to say no. He wasn’t a social man, especially not after the tension between him and Leia from earlier, but he knew it meant something to you. So, he climbed up off the floor and followed you into the kitchen. 

“Master Mandalorian,” C-3PO greeted as Paz walked into the dining area. “Uh, su cuy’gar. Olarom at yaim Organa-Solo.”

“I can speak Basic, droid,” Paz says as he sits down. 

“What’d he say?” You and Leia asked in unison. 

“He said ‘welcome to the Organa-Solo home’ in Mando’a,” Paz translates.

Leia turns to the droid. “Where the kriff did you learn Mando’a?”

“I am fluent in over-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Leia said, and waved him off. “I don't know how I forget that.”

You took a bite of the soup, not as good as the Mandalorian dish Paz had made, but it was delicious nonetheless. 

“Mando,” Leia says between bites. “I assume you’re from Mandalore. Do you still live there?”

Paz shakes his head. “No, ma’am.” 

Leia looks at you, and then you look at Paz, silently trying to let him know that it’s ok to open up to Leia. It was ok for you, just not for him. Not yet, anyway. 

“Do you have any siblings?”

“Used to.”

“Not much of a talker,” Leia murmurs to you. “You met my friend on a job?”

He nods. “More or less. I was coming home from one. Had to stop for supplies.”

“You have a family in your Tribe?”

Paz nods. “The Tribe is my family. All of them. We care for eachother.”

The lunch went on like this, and it was a bit tiring. Leia would ask a question, she would get an answer that did not satisfy, and then ask another. You wished Paz would open up, but you understood. Maybe, with time, he would, and Leia would approve of him. You didn’t need Leia’s approval, but you wanted it. You wanted her to like him, she was very important to you, just as he was. 

Once the bowls of soup were scraped clean and sandwiches were gone from two of the three plates, C-3PO informed Leia that she was needed at the Senate building. 

“I’ll be back soon,” she said as she tied an overdress around her. “Help yourselves to anything, alright?” She kissed you on the cheek and went out the door. 

“I’m sorry I’m not good company,” Paz says as soon as Leia leaves. “It’s not in my nature.”

You shake your head. “Nonsense. She understands, even though it may not seem like it.” 

“I am trying,” he insists. “I just can’t answer those questions.”

You take his gloved hand into yours. “I know,” you say, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. “I’ll explain more about Mandalorians to her when she gets back. And who knows? Maybe someday you’ll be an open book with her. Best friends with Princess Leia of Alderaan.”

He laughs. “Yeah, maybe,” he says, voice dripping with uncertainty.

It had been a long time until Leia returned home. You’d wandered around the living room for awhile while Paz ate his late lunch, and then the two of you sat on the couch and watched a holo. Paz felt like he was intruding, and told you so many times, but C-3PO consistently reminded the both of you to make yourselves at home.

“I have prepared a dinner for the two of you, if you would like it.”

“Thank you, Threepio,” you say from your place on the couch. Paz had shed his cuirass so you could cuddle into his chest.

He released you from his arms and said, “You go eat first, mesh’la.”

“We can eat together. Take it to the room and sit back to back,” you say. “Would that be alright, Threepio?”

“You might spill it,” Threepio says. “But I suppose it would be alright. I will bring the trays to the Blue Room.”

You nodded your thanks, Paz standing behind you. He picked his cuirass up off the floor and followed you to the bedroom.

“Where we sitting, kebiin’ika?”

“Floor might be best,” you reply.

He nodded, lowering himself onto the floor and you followed suit. C-3PO appeared with the food on trays, handing them to the two of you and shutting the door on his way out.

The familiar click and hiss met your ears and you saw the helmet hit the floor in your peripheral. The food was a pasta with some vegetables. “Looks good,” you say.

“Indeed,” Paz agrees, and you hear his fork begin to twist on the plate.

As you are, your mind returned to your conversation with Leia. Her asking if you were ready for marriage. Paz told you Mandalorian courtships were short, it was a throwaway comment and you knew that, but it still hung over you.

“Paz?”

“Hmm?”

“Are...” you stop for a moment, wondering if you should continue. You decided to. “Are we going to get married?”

You couldn’t see Paz almost choke on his food, but you heard it. Once he recovered from his coughing he said, “why are you asking, mesh’la?”

“You remember when you told me Mandalorian courtships don’t last long? And that usually Mandos who court get married...”

He sighs. “That’s what it means for a lot of Mandalorians. But you, my love, are not a Mandalorian. Our courtship means what you want it to mean.”

“But we might get married?” You weren’t sure how shaky your voice sounded to him, but you hoped it wasn’t much.

“Yeah,” he replies. “Someday, I hope.”

You smile at your plate. Both of you felt the hot flame of love consuming your bodies, rising to your faces. “Someday.”

tags! @remmysbounty @ladyjenny19 @shadowsoundeffects13

[appalachianwiine]

Swim - Chapter 8 - Only Twenty Minutes to Sleep

Only 20 minutes to sleep

But you dream of some epiphany

Just one single glimpse of relief

To make some sense of what you've seen

“Epiphany” by Taylor Swift

“It hurts daddy.” Lydia whimpers, snuggling closer to his chest. It’s four in the morning and he’s been here most of the night. Lydia laid on top of him, crying and sleeping and complaining. She’d thrown up most of her meager dinner and had refused all attempts to get her to eat anything else. Even the offer of waffles had been refused, all she wanted was to be held.

“I know kiddo.” Daryl whispers, kissing her sweaty hair. She’s got a strange smell to her now, one that makes Daryl think of a hot bedroom in the back of a trailer in northern Georgia and a hacking cough that wouldn’t go away. One that means she’s sick. 

“I want to go home now.” Lydia whimpers, she’s clung to him like a monkey, she’s got to be more exhausted then he is, but she hasn’t slept much, every time she drifts off they come in to do vitals and she starts crying again. He reaches up to rub his eyes, god he wants to go home. Have a hot shower, his own bed, some real sleep. But they can’t. 

Instead he presses another kiss to her hair and says; “want something’ t’ drink?” 

“No.” She mutters. “I might throw it up.” 

“Okay.” He whispers. “Want a story?” 

“No.” 

“A song?”

“I guess…” 

“Down in the willow garden,” he beings quietly. “Where me and my love did meet.” He feels her small hand go to his elbow and start rubbing it in circles. “There we lay a’ courtin’ my true love fell asleep. I had a bottle of the burglars wine but that my love did not know…” 

It was a macabre song really, but he hadn’t really thought of that when he started singing it to her years ago. He just remembered it from his own childhood. The heavy smell of red wine on his momma’s breath as she knelt next to his bed singing the same thing. Her stroking a few dark locks from his face as he did to Lydia now. . 

“There I murdered that poor lil’ girl down on the banks below.” He supposed it should’ve been kind of obvious, but it was this or Merle Haggard - who wasn’t known for his lovely lullabies to little girls. 

From on his chest he hears her tiny voice join in “I stabbed her with my dagger, which was a bloody knife. I throwed her into the river which was a terrible sight.” 

It was even creepier coming from her. Though, if he was honest most songs were. She had that quality about her, even on the best of days, when she would sing her eyes would glaze over, and she took on an almost hypnotized look. Even ‘Row row row your boat’ was a little unnerving when she sang it. 

“My daddy always told me.” He continued, rocking gently from side to side “That money would set me free. If I would murder that poor little girl who’s name was Rose Connolly.” 

His mothers face drifts before him, a little blurry from time, but as young and beautiful as he remembered. Dark curls framing blue eyes, the ghost of a bruise across one cheek. He hummed a little and rubbed her back before starting the last verse. 

“Now he sits by his cabin door, wiping his tear stained eyes, a thinkin’ about his own dear son, upon the scaffold high. My race is run beneath the sun an-“ 

Lydia pushes back suddenly, making him start and he has just enough time to push her hair back before she starts heaving. 

Shit. 

He doesn’t have time to get her to the bathroom, bile and spit she’s able to throw up lands on his chest and the sheets surrounding them. 

“I-I’m sorry.” Lydia sobs, coughing and sputtering tears pouring from her eyes, a little vomit dribbling down her chin. 

“It’s okay.” He whispers, leaning over to push the nurses call button. “It’s okay, I can change.” 

“You ain’ mad?” She sobs. 

“‘course I ain’t.” He whispers, lifting the edge of his shirt to wipe the vomit from her chin and reaching out to wipe her tears. “Yer sick baby girl it ain’ yer fault.” 

The night nurse comes in and flicks on the light, the bright light makes him blink and squint. Fuckin’ fluorescents. 

“Everything okay?” The nurse asked. 

“Nah, I think - we probably need a sheet change.” He muttered, looking around. Most of it was on him, but the sheets and. Bedding had a few dribbles too. 

“Oh sweetie, you get sick?” The nurse asks. 

“Y-yeah.” Lydia nods. “I need new pajamas.” 

“Okay, how about daddy gets you sorted and I’ll change the sheets.” The nurse says.

“Kay.” Lydia sniffles. 

“C’mere kiddo.” Daryl says, sliding out of the bed and picking her up. She wrapped her arms around her neck and wrinkled her nose. 

“You got sick on you.” She mutters. 

“Yeah, looks like I’ll need t’ change too.” He says, carrying her into the bathroom. “You wait here, I’ll bring ya yer pajamas.” 

“Okay.” She lets him set her down on the toilet lid. Daryl shuffles out of the bathroom and over to their suitcases. He pulls out Lydia’s Aladdin night gown and a clean t-shirt and pants for himself and returns to the bathroom. 

Changing Lydia around the PICC line is a bit of an ordeal even while she’s disconnected. The long tube hangs loose and every time it moves too much she whimpers and pulls away. He’ll have to get it bound up before they got back in bed. He reaches for the hairbrush on the back of the toilet and combs through her sweaty hair, no vomit in it, which is a good (he doubts she’d tolerate a bath right now), but he braids it back just in case it happens again. 

“You wanna go on out and wait?” Daryl asks. 

“No.” She sniffles. “Carry me.” 

“Baby girl.” He sighs. “Yer clean an’ I ain’. I don’ wanna get ya dirty again.” 

“You won’t.” She protests.

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I will.” 

“You’ll come lay with me after?” Lydia pouts. 

“Yeah.” Daryl nods. “I’ll lay with ya after.” 

“Okay…” Lydia sighs, shuffling out of the bathroom. 

He figures he may as well use this opportunity to grab a much needed shower. He hadn’t showered in far too long, and he peels off his sweaty clothes aware that the vomit isn’t the only reason they smell. He doesn’t wait for the water to warm up before stepping under it. Even cold it feels damn good running over him. He reaches for the hospital issue bar of soap. He lathered his hair first, feeling the grease underneath the lather. It could really use a second wash but he doesn’t want to push it with Lydia. After giving his skin a quick scrub and rinse he steps out, drying haphazardly with the towel and pulling his clean pajamas on. He puts the dirty ones in the hamper in the corner, he’ll have to find the hospital laundry later today. 

“I don’t wanna!” Lydia is protesting, clutching the end of her PICC line tightly and scowling at the nurse. 

“What’s up baby girl.” Daryl frowns, glancing at the night nurse. 

“She needs fluids.” The nurse sighs. “She’s not keeping anything down and she’s getting dehydrated.” 

“They make me pee.” Lydia scowls. 

“You need to pee.” Daryl mutters. 

“Do not.” 

“Lydia.” He sighs, he’s bone tired, he doesn’t want to fight with her over this. 

“If they give me those and I pee they give me the medicine again!” She protests. “And that tastes bad and made me feel sick!” 

“Shhh,” Daryl says, aware that she’s shouting. “Baby girl this isn’t for the medicine.” 

“They won’t give it to me again?” Lydia scowls, not bringing her volume down any. 

“They’re gonna give it to you again.” Daryl sighs, telling her otherwise won’t do any good. “But not right now. Right now they just have to get you hydrated.” 

“No medicine ever again!” Lydia snapped

“Lydia.” He can feel a headache starting behind his eyes. “You have to get the medicine again. You’re sick baby girl we - we talked about this. But right now the IV will help you feel better, I promise.” 

“I don’t want medicine.” She whimpers. 

“I know.” He says, sitting down on the edge of her bed. “I wish you didn’t have to have any medicine. But you do, just not right now okay?”

“O-Okay.” Lydia mutters. 

“Can they give you the fluids?” Daryl asks. 

“You have to hold me.” Lydia says. 

“Of course I will.” He promises, sitting back up against her pillows and letting her crawl on his lap and pull the covers over both of them. “They need your arm baby girl.” Lydia grumbles but sticks her arm with the PICC line out of the blanket. 

“Thank you Lydia.” The nurse says, pulling the end of the line up to connect the fluids. “There, all connected. Feel free to press the button if you need anything.” 

“Go away.” Lydia mutters, pulling the blanket up over her head and her arm back into the cocoon.

“Thanks.” Daryl says, rubbing Lydia’s back. He can hear her sniffling underneath the blanket. “‘S okay t’ cry.” 

“You smell funny.” She mutters, poking her head out at him.

“What?” Daryl frowns. 

“You smell funny.” She mutters, sniffing at his shirt. “You don’t smell like daddy. You smell like… soap.” 

“Oh.” Daryl says. “I had t’ take a shower’s all. Forgot my soap.” 

“I don’t like it.” She mutters. “I like daddy smell.” 

“Sorry kiddo. I’ll get my soap as soon as I can.” He promises. He’d never given much thought to how he smelled before, but he supposed he had used the same soap for years. Hell he couldn’t even remember the scent off the top of his head, he usually just grabbed it off the shelf in the grocery store and went on his way. 

“Good.” Lydia mumbles. 

“Try to sleep okay kiddo?” Daryl whispers. 

“Okay.” 

Daryl must’ve fallen asleep at some point too, because the next thing he knows the day shift nurse is in their room and light is flooding in from the windows. Lydia whimpers on his chest and curls herself into a smaller ball, just the PICC line drifting out from under the blankets she’s pulled tightly around her. 

“Wha’ time is it?” He mutters, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand.

“A little after seven.” The nurse smiled apologetically, it’s Sasha again. The shift change has already happened. “Sorry to wake you.” 

“‘S fine.” Daryl mutters, it’s not like it’s her fault anyway. “You uh - you need her vitals?” 

“Yeah.” Sasha nods. “Dr. Rhee is going to come talk to you in a bit, but I’ll get vitals out of the way first.” 

“Biopsy results?” Daryl’s awake now. Those were supposed to come in today.

“I think so.” The nurse nods. “But it could be about the next dose of chemo too. She’s due for that today at around one.” 

“Oh.” Daryl glanced down at the lump which is Lydia, she wouldn’t be thrilled about that. He pulls at the blankets. “Lyd.” 

“No.” She moans. “No pokes.” 

“No pokes.” Sasha says. I just need your temperature and your blood pressure and your oxygen levels okay?” 

“No.” Lydia mutters. 

“What hand do you want me to put the pulse oximeter on? Your left or your right?” Sasha asks, pulling the machine over. 

“Left.” Lydia mutters, offering her right hand. Daryl has to repress a smile, she’d never been good with left and right but he was pretty sure Sasha would tell her rainbows came out of her ass if it got her to cooperate.

“Left it is.” Sasha smiles. Clipping the monitor to her finger. “And how about blood pressure?” 

“Left.” Lydia mutters, exposing a little more of her right arm for Sasha to put the cuff on. 

“Alright.” Sasha says. And do you want forehead or tongue temperature?” 

“Tongue.” Lydia mutters, poking her little pale face out from underneath the blankets and opening her mouth. 

“Thank you.” Sasha smiles, poking the thermometer under her tongue and holding it there for a moment before pulling it out. “Fever free, good job kiddo.” 

“Thanks.” Lydia mutters, letting Sasha remove the pulse oximeter and the blood pressure cuff then retreating into the cocoon of blankets again. 

“You want something to eat?” Daryl asks quietly. 

“Waffle.” Lydia mumbles. “Plain.” 

“No butter or syrup.” He repeats. “Your tummy feeling better?” 

“Kind of.” She mutters. “Still feels like I’m on a tire swing.” 

“You gonna let me out of bed to go get it?” Daryl asks. 

“Fine.” She crawls off of him and curls up in the middle of the bed. “Hurry daddy.” 

“I will.” He promises, sliding into his boots and shuffling out of the room. Across the hall Henry’s door is open, the blinds are up, and the bed empty but unmade. He wasn’t sure if that was good or bad, but he tried not to linger on it.

He gets a waffle for Lydia and a cup of black coffee for himself. He knows he should eat something but he doesn’t really have the energy or appetite to get anything down. Especially not with Lydia’s biopsy results hanging over him like this. This would mean a treatment plan, a timeline, a discharge date, a real tangible plan that could get his daughter well again. 

When Daryl returns to the room he finds Dr. Rheesitting on the end of the bed, letting Lydia hold her stethoscope to her swollen belly. 

“Daddy guess what!” Lydia says eagerly. “There’s a baby in there and I can hear him!” 

“Really?” Daryl frowns. 

“Yeah I use the listening thingy and I can hear his heart.” Lydia grins.

“Alright Lydia.” Dr. Rhee smiles. “It looks like it's time for your breakfast. How about I take that and go talk to your daddy while you eat?” 

“Okay.” Lydia frowns, handing the stethoscope back to Dr. Rhee. “He’ll be back soon?” 

“Yeah.” Dr. Rhee says. “Mr. Dixon if you’ll come with me?” 

“Oh uh, yeah sure.” Daryl nods, handing Lydia her waffles and following Dr. Rhee out of the room and down the hall. “Are we uh - going to that - that same room.” 

“Yeah.” Dr. Rhee says. “It’s a little more private.” 

“Is this about her biopsy results?” Daryl swallows, remembering what Carol had told him about that room.

“Yes.” Dr. Rhee nods. “We got them back this morning and I wanted to discuss the new treatment plan with you, we’ll be starting it today.” 

“Today.” Daryl swallows. “Isn’t she still on - on that other chemo?”

  “She is.” Dr. Rhee nods. “But we’ll be adding some new ones.” 

Ones. Plural. Daryl's stomach sinks father. 

Dr. Rhee holds the door open for him and he steps into the room, there’s a stack of papers on the table. She’s prepared this in advance. He takes a seat in the same chair he sat in the other day and takes a drink of his coffee, ignoring the burning sensation it sends down his throat. 

“So,” Dr. Rhee says, pulling some of the papers towards her and shuffling through them. “We got the results back from Lydia’s bone marrow biopsy and we were initially correct. She does have Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.” 

“Okay.” He says slowly. “Like… that’s it?” 

“No.” Dr. Rhee slides the paper over to him, the text is small, and even though she’s highlighted portions of it it sort of dances around in front of him. “Lydia has a rare mutation we don’t often see in acute leukemia. It’s called the philadelphia chromosome. Essentially what it means is that two of the genes in the Leukemia cells have switched places. It also means that Lydia’s Leukemia is very high risk and will need to be treated aggressively. We’re going to do this with three different kinds of chemotherapy and a geneblocker called Distautinab. Distautinab is a newer drug and when used in conjunction with it’s predecessor Imatinib we’ve seen cure rates go up dramatically.” 

“Dramatically what - what does that mean?” Daryl swallows. 

“Well currently we’re at about 80 percent for this particular subtype of leukemia.” Dr. Rhee says. 

“Eighty percent.” He breathes. “And this - um - this is what subtype?” 

“Ph+ ALL.” Dr. Rhee says. 

The name triggers something in the back of his brain, he’s so exhausted that it takes him a moment to come back around to it. Carol. That’s what her daughter had. Carol’s daughter was dead. 

“Um Carol -“ 

“Yes,” Dr. Rhee says. “This is the same type of leukemia that carol’s daughter Sophia had. However Distautinab was not available for use in children at the time Sophia was treated.” 

“And Lydia.” He mutters. “What am I - what does this entail?” 

“A treatment plan of about two and a half years.” Dr. Rhee says. 

“Two and a half years.” Eh breathes. 

“Yes, though a period of that will be what is called maintenance Chemotherapy. It’s about a year of active treatment all together and a year and a half of maintenance. During active treatment she’ll have periods of chemo infusions both inpatient and outpatient, but during maintenance barring complications she’ll be at home taking daily oral chemo therapies.” 

“I - okay.” He mutters. 

“Do you need a minute?” She asks. 

“Please.” He breathes. 

“Alright, I’ll give you sometime.” Dr. Rhee stands and exits the room, Daryl fumbles for his phone in his sweatpants pocket. It’s not yet eight o’clock, the school day shouldn’t have started. He finds Carol’s number in his phone and hits the call button. 

“Daryl?” She picks up almost immediately. “Is everything okay?” 

“I - Lydia’s biopsy results.” He manages. “They’re  they’re not good.” 

“Okay.” Carol’s voice is blessedly steady. “What happened?” 

“It’s um - that chromosome thing. Lydia’s got it.” He mutters, running a hand over his hair and leaning against the table. He feels like he’s going to throw up. 

“Oh.” Her voice is almost silent on the end of the line. 

God this had been stupid of him. He shouldn’t have called and told her that. Her daughter died from that. He opens his mouth to apologize. 

“School gets out at 330.” She says, unknowingly cutting off his attempt at apology. “I can leave right after and be there by 430 okay?” 

“You don’t have t’ do that.” He says. 

“I’m going to be there by 430.” She says. “You - this is a lot to process. It’s hard. Have you gotten your treatment plan yet?” 

“No.” Daryl admits. “We-we’re about to discuss that she’s got a - a folder.” 

“Okay.” Carol says. “Look, I won’t promise you everything is going to be okay, but things have changed, three years is a long time in the world of cancer. And even if they hadn’t, you’re not alone in this Daryl.” 

“Two and a half years.” He chokes out. “She’s - she’s gonna be going through this for two and a half years.” 

“Yeah.” Carol says. “And so are you. This is your fight to Daryl, and you and Lydia aren’t alone here. I have a half an hour until class starts, are you okay?” 

“I- no.” Daryl says “She had a really rough night and now, now I’m going to go in there and condemn her to more and - and I know it’s going to save her life but she doesn’t know that. She doesn’t understand that.” 

“She understands more than you think Daryl.” Carol whispers. “She’ll be okay, she’ll get through this.” 

“We don’t know that.” Daryl whispers. 

“She has a father who’s fighting like hell for her.” Carol says. “That’s gonna make her okay. Not every kid has that. I’ll be there at 430 okay? I’ll bring dinner.” 

“Yeah.” He nods. “I uh - I should go. I need t’ - i need t’ know what’s gonna happen.” 

“Okay.” Carol says. “You want me to call at lunch?” 

“No.” He says. “I - she’s due for chemo around then, she likes me t’ hold her.”

“See, you’re all she needs.” She says. “I’ll see you tonight.” 

“Yeah.” He hangs up the phone and rests his head in his hands. 

“Ready?” Dr. Rhee steps back into the room. 

“Not really.” He sighs. “But yeah, lets do this I guess.” 

“So we’re going to start with the induction phase. That will consist of daily oral chemotherapy and steroids and weekly chemo through her PICC line.” Dr. Rhee slides a calendar sheet in front of him. “It will look something like this, though the dates will change based on her discharge date. We’re aiming for sometime next week, we just need to give her one round of inpatient chemo, check her counts and keep her fever free for 48 hours.” 

“We could be home next week?” That didn’t feel real to him, the idea that they could be home in a week. Hadn’t she just said that Lydia’s chemo was aggressive? 

“If everything goes well.” Dr. Rhee nods, tucking some of her short hair behind her ear. “We’re going to finish this round today and on saturday and then if all goes well you could be home by Wednesday. Now you’ll come back weekly for labs and chemotherapy, and if she spikes a fever above 100.4 you have to come into the ER right away.” 

“Okay.” He nods. “And that’s - that’s it? For two years?” 

“Well, no.” Dr. Rhee says. “Because of the type of leukemia that Lydia has we need to be aggressive in our treatment. This cancer likes to hide, so we’re going to do the induction phase, then we’re going to pull back on the chemo, to give her body a break and a chance to recover and then she’ll start three rounds of very aggressive chemotherapy. She’ll be inpatient for those, expect up to 30 days.” 

“30 days.” He mutters. 

“Yes. And she’s going to be a very sick little girl. But as I said the chances of a good outcome are high with this new drug.” Dr. Rhee says. “So if you’ll sign the paperwork I can get her chemo together and we can get ahead of this thing.” 

“Yeah.” Daryl nods, reaching for the papers and pen. “Jus’ - I want her t’ be a kid again.” 

“Kids are resilient.” Dr. Rhee says. 

“Yeah.” Daryl mutters. 

Can she still be resilient? 

[ellewritesathing]

Faking It  -  IV

Summary: You’d done plenty of dumb things in your life, but the dumbest had to be picking Greendale’s latest bad-boy to pretend to be your boyfriend.

Masterlist Prev. | Part 4

Word-count: 3.4k+

A/N: this gif has nothing to do with this part but i thought it was cute and couldn’t find a kitchen gif that fit. hope you enjoy the drama lmao 💕

Of all the ways you saw taking Caliban’s hand the day you met, you hadn’t anticipated the very obvious outcome: that you’d develop feelings for him. Actual, real, not fake feelings. But it’s not like it was your fault - no, you blamed the blonde asshole himself. They just didn’t make guys like him in Greendale, so he completely blindsided you by being … well, himself.  

He was intimidating enough that other guys left you alone, and - even though plenty of people found him as charming as you did - he made it very clear that he had no interest in any of them. He was infuriatingly good at everything he did and he looked good while doing it. He laughed at all your shitty jokes and actually listened to you when you spoke. How the hell were you supposed to not be attracted to someone who would sit with you while you worked on your art projects and quote poetry in an offhand effort to distract you? 

Who the hell could even quote poetry in real life? 

Not you. Not anyone that you’d ever met. 

Caliban was just different in all the ways that made your heart race. 

The fact that your friends liked him didn’t hurt either. Harvey still rolled his eyes whenever Caliban showed up or made the others laugh, but his anger must have subsided at least a little because you’d caught them joking around between practices. Theo loved Caliban; the two of them had inside jokes, knew each other’s lunch orders, and partnered up for chemistry. Roz would read a book and annotate it before handing it off to Caliban to read, and she liked that Caliban made you smile. Sabrina liked having someone to do dumb and borderline illegal stuff with. They liked him, and now you liked them. The fuckers. 

“Are you listening to a word I’m saying?” Sabrina asked, nudging you with her elbow. “You’ve been staring at the baseball field for like five minutes.”

“Of course I’m listening,” you lied. You sat up straighter and tugged your clothing back into place. “Quite frankly, I’m insulted you’d think that I wasn’t paying attention to The Great Kinkle Family Reunion.” 

Sabrina tilted her head and smiled politely, that’s how you knew trouble was coming. “Then tell me what you should do when Uncle Tristan starts talking about horses,” she said. 

“Uh …”  

“Exactly.” Sabrina laughed and looked down at the field where Harvey, Theo, Caliban, and the rest of the team were running laps. “I’ve been to every family get together since I met Harvey, and they all end horribly. Caliban’s mom was really sweet to host one, but she’s in way over her head. Have you met her, by the way?” 

“No,” you said. You couldn’t tell if that was weird or not. Were fake girlfriends supposed to meet their partner’s mothers? “But I’m kinda surprised she’s doing this given everything I’ve heard about her and the Kinkles. They weren’t exactly the most supportive of her.” 

“Yeah, I don’t know why Harvey’s such a sweetheart when the rest of the family is … It was probably Tommy, now that I think about it,” Sabrina said. She shook her head and turned to look at you before taking your hands in hers. “I just wanted to check-in and make sure you’re ready for this.” 

“Brina, I can handle this.” You squeezed her hands reassuringly. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve got a pretty mean right hook. Ask Colin Anderson. If there’s a fight, I’ll be golden.” 

Sabrina laughed and let go of your hands. “I’m trying to prevent that fight, but good to know.” 

You laughed and bumped her with your arm. “Looks like practice is letting out. You wanna head down?” 

“Nah.” Sabrina put on her brightest smile and waved down to a very tired-looking Harvey. “Let them de-stink first.” 

---

After two weeks of prep and cover stories, the day of the Great Reunion was here. You’d woken up disgustingly early in order to get yourself together and drive over to Caliban’s to help them set everything up. 

You weren’t sure what you expected their house to look like, but clashed with the black BMW parked in the garage. It was a sweet, two-story house with a wraparound porch and balloons in the front yard. The house was painted a soft sunshine shade of yellow and had rocking chairs, hanging plants, and rose beds in the front. It was the picture-perfect house for anyone other than Caliban, but it still fit. 

Different. 

Gathering up your nerve and the rest of your belongings, you made your way to the door and pressed the doorbell. The tiny pothos plant felt as awkward as you did while it sat in your hands and waited for someone to open the door. 

Thank God it was Caliban and not his mom. 

He smiled amusedly at your plant before looking up at you. “Is that for me?” 

“I know it’s a lame gift but I didn’t know if your mom was allergic to cut flowers and I’m not old enough to buy her wine,” you said in a rush. You frowned slightly and tilted your head. “Well, not legally at least.” 

Caliban laughed and reached out to take one of your hands and lead you inside. “It’s perfect. Thank you.” 

You didn’t know what else to say as Caliban led you to the kitchen. The house was as much of a surprise inside as it was outside, and it smelled like freshly baked bread. It was colorful and covered in old photos. He seemed very at home here and lighter than you’d ever seen him elsewhere. No, not lighter. Happier.

“Wait.” You stopped dead and let go of Caliban to reach out for a photo of the cutest little boy with missing front teeth and a mess of blonde curls around his dirty face. “Is this you?” You couldn’t help the laugh that came out when Caliban looked pained at your discovery. “Aw, Abercrombie, you were so cute! What’s on your face?” 

Caliban sighed and took the photo out of your hand, looking embarrassed for probably the first time in his life. “I was seven years old and I liked eating chocolate. Is that a problem?” 

“Oh, no, no, no,” a woman said as she rounded a corner and laughed. She had the most beautiful long, brown hair and kind eyes. “You didn’t just like chocolate. If you came anywhere near it, you used to eat yourself into a sugar coma. I couldn’t bake anything around you without you eating the batter before it even got into the oven.” 

She laughed and ruffled Caliban’s hair before smiling at you. You didn’t know anyone could ruffle his hair without losing a hand. 

“You must be the lovely new girlfriend I’ve heard so much about,” she said. “I’m Isobel. Is that for me?” 

Isobel pointed at your little pot plant and jolted you back to life. “Uh, yeah,” you said and held the plant out to her. Her hands were warm as she took the plant from you. “I wasn’t too sure what to bring but I didn’t want to come empty-handed.” 

“Oh, not at all. This little guy is perfect!” Isobel lifted up the plant to look at it. “I’m going to give him some water and put him in the front. Do you guys want to get settled in the kitchen so long?” 

“Of course,” Caliban said with a gentle smile. His mom gave him another playful bump and disappeared into some other part of the house while Caliban held a hand out to you. “Shall we?” 

“Who are you?” you teased with wide eyes as you took his hand in yours.

You followed him into the kitchen and took a seat at the breakfast bar. They were here for maybe a month and their house already felt like more of a home than yours ever did. How they afforded it all, you had no idea, but Caliban never spoke about his birth dad and you didn’t want to push. All you knew was he gave Caliban his blonde hair and bone structure, nothing more and nothing less.

You were snapped out of your thoughts by the sight of Caliban in a sunflower printed apron. Clearly, your efforts to contain your amusement weren’t nearly as stellar as you thought they were because Caliban raised an eyebrow at you over all the baking supplies on the counter. 

“What’s the matter?” he asked. 

“I didn’t peg you for an apron guy is all,” you said with a small shrug, doing your best to sound nonchalant and not totally, completely chalant. 

“I don’t like getting my clothes dirty,” Caliban said defensively. “Without an apron, anything can stain your shirt.” 

“I think I’ll take the risk,” you said as you tapped the counter. “I trust myself and don’t think anyone’s going to splatter batter on me.” 

“Batter, maybe not …” Caliban tilted his head to the side. “But flour?” 

“Flour?” 

Before you had the chance to ask what he meant, Caliban threw a handful of flour at you. He laughed at how shocked you were and you took that opportunity to reach across the counter and throw some flour at him. Soon enough the two of you were running around the kitchen, covered in flour, and laughing until your sides hurt. 

Caliban wrapped his arms around you and scooped you up, ignoring your pleading and cries that were cut short by laughter. You were still mid-air with Caliban’s face close to your own when Isobel came back. 

“Hey, hey, hey!” Isobel put her hands out to get your attention. “We have guests coming in an hour and the two of you are making a mess in my kitchen.” 

Caliban set you down, but the two of you were still tangled up and filthy. You didn’t know what to say to the woman you’d met fifteen minutes ago and whose kitchen you’d subsequently ruined.

Isobel laughed and shook her head. “It’s my own fault for leaving this one unsupervised,” she teased, pointing a finger at Caliban as she made her way around to start cleaning up. “Go clean yourselves up. Come back when you don’t like friendly ghosts.” 

Luckily for you, flour was relatively easy to get out because you weren’t wearing dark colors for once. It took a while to get it out of your hair and make it look presentable, but it was hard to be too mad at the mess when it was such a fun time making it. 

When you got back downstairs, you could hear people laughing and talking in the kitchen. It was still too early for guests but it was clear that it wasn’t just Caliban and his mom. 

You were right. You rounded the corner to find Caliban freshly-changed, his mom kneading some dough, and a very pretty redhead with big doe-eyes all laughing at some inside joke. It made you feel painfully other. 

“Oh, Luce,” Isobel said when she noticed you come in, waving you over. “You have to meet Caliban’s girlfriend. She’s a gem.” 

Luce ... As in Lucy? Lucy from California? Harvey’s first crush? Lucy. 

This was going to end badly. 

Lucy tilted her head as she turned to look at you. You could see the gears turning in her head as she looked you over. “Girlfriend?” she asked with a friendly (but fake) smile.

“The one and only,” you said with an over-confident smile as you walked over and interlaced your hand with Caliban’s. You wrapped your other hand around his arm, just like the first day you met. You introduced yourself with a friendly yet fake smile of your own. 

“You guys moved up here a few months ago and Caliban’s completely forgotten about me,” Lucy teased to Isobel. She moved some hair out of her face and looked over at you again. “He used to tell me everything. We were like this.” She crossed her index and middle finger over each other with a smile. 

You’d have liked to show her one of your fingers. 

But you didn’t. All you did was smile and make some polite conversation while not letting go of Caliban. You weren’t sure why you were being so defensive. It’s not like you and Caliban were actually dating, but you didn’t like Lucy. Not only did she break Harvey’s heart and cause all the damage you’d spent the better part of two months fixing, but she also just rubbed you the wrong way. 

“Okay, not to ruin all the fun,” Isobel said after a while. “But guests should be coming soon. Why don’t you kids make sure everything is set up in the back and keep an ear out for any early birds?” 

“Sure thing,” Lucy said, hopping off her seat and leading the way to the backyard. 

You started following when Caliban caught your arm and said something to his mom about getting more supplies from the garage. He didn’t say anything else as he led the way and neither did you, but that was mostly just because you were being petty. 

Caliban led you to the middle of the garage and tugged on the old light to illuminate the dusty room around you. He lifted your intertwined hands and folded them over each other as he thought about what he was going to say. 

You couldn’t wait that long. 

“So, what’s the deal with you and Lucy? And I want the truth this time.” 

Caliban laughed and shook his head as he looked up at the old light above you. He took a breath before saying, “Lucinda’s my best friend, pretty much my only friend before yours so kindly took me in. If I’d known she’d be here today, I would have said something.” 

“Wait, you were best friends with the girl who broke up your family?” you asked. 

“She apologized,” Caliban said. “And, besides, you’re friends with Harvey.” 

“Harvey’s never made out with me,” you said, untangling your hand from his so that you could cross your arms over your chest. 

Caliban narrowed his eyes slightly as he took in your newly defensive stance, and then he laughed without saying anything else. He looked amused when he met your scowling gaze again. “I can’t believe you’re jealous,” he said. “Don’t misunderstand me, it’s incredibly attractive but-” 

“I am not jealous,” you said. “I couldn’t care less.” 

“I’m sure,” Caliban said with a sarcastic smile. He rolled his eyes as he stepped closer and cupped your face before leaning down to be millimeters away from your face. “Forget about her, alright? I assure you, you’re the only fake girlfriend for me.” 

Before you had the chance to say something witty in return, the garage door flew open and the devil herself stood in the opening. 

“There you are!” Lucy said. “Cal, I need help with these streamers. I’m way too short to get them where your mom wants them.” 

“I’ll be right out,” Caliban said without taking his eyes off yours. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before taking a step back and leaving you in the dusty and dim garage. 

You shot a warning text to Harvey about Lucy before you went out to help the others. Though he never answered, he must have got it because he was surprisingly okay when he and Sabrina got there. You and Sabrina shared a look when Lucy got a bit handsy with her hello, but neither of you said anything. 

That’s how most of the get together went; you and Sabrina sharing secret, sarcastic looks and staying out of trouble. Well, mostly. You still didn’t know what to say when Uncle Tristan started talking about horses, but Caliban came to your rescue and the rest was smooth sailing. 

Until an hour went by when you couldn’t find Caliban anywhere. You asked around but no one had seen him, but his mom pointed you in the direction of his room. Isobel held onto your arm before you could leave. 

“Um, I’m sorry if this seems a bit strange but I …” Isobel smiled and looked down at her hand on your arm before letting go, clearly trying to respect whatever boundaries you may have had. “Caliban’s been a lot happier since we moved here and I think that has to do with you. I just wanted to say thank you.” 

“Oh, uh- It’s nothing. I’m just a girl and I’m sure Caliban’s brought a few of us around by now with cheekbones like that,” you said with a smile. 

“No, Caliban’s never brought anyone home before,” Isobel said, looking like she was trying to remember anything to the contrary. “Sorry, hun, I’ve gotta go. Jan’s calling me over. Good luck with the search!” 

“Thanks,” you said quietly. 

Isobel disappeared into the sea of Kinkles and you made your way to Caliban’s room. You took your time going up the stairs, looking at all the photos on the wall as you did. It was nice to see that Caliban was just as angry and angsty now as he was at  14 years old. 

It was strangely quiet upstairs compared to the rest of the house and the party in the backyard. Quite enough that you could hear someone giggling upstairs, someone decidedly not Caliban. 

Roz would have told you to face it head-on and not to sneak around like a creep. Thankfully, Roz wasn’t there to say anything. 

You tiptoed as casually as you could to Caliban’s room. The room felt more like the Caliban you knew than the rest of the house did: big windows without any blinds, a tornado of books and sketches on every surface available, and a very pretty redhead making out with him. 

“She kissed you, huh?” you asked, echoing the story of when they were younger before turning on your heel and slamming the door behind you. Your heart ached annoyingly when Caliban called out for you as he followed behind you, but your brain told it to suck it up until you were out of the house.

By sheer force of will, you made it back downstairs without turning around, but then Caliban managed to get a hold of your hand and spin you around to face him. 

“Would you please let me explain?” Caliban asked. 

“No,” you said, pulling your hand away from him. “Look, it’s not like you have anything to explain anyway, okay?” He reached out for you again and you took a step back so you wouldn’t be confused by his touch. “You and me? We were a fake relationship. Maybe this is the universe saying it’s time it came to a real end.” 

You knew what he’d say if you weren’t arguing. He’d ask you, with that annoying smile of his, when you started letting the universe tell you what to do. Or he’d make some comment about the universe being a bastard. But all he did now was set his jaw and look down at his hand. 

“What are you saying?” 

“I’m saying this is it,” you said. “Goodbye, Caliban.” 

You weren’t sure why you expected him to say something else, to fight for your fake relationship, but all that expectation just led to disappointment. Caliban flexed his hand but didn’t say anything else as you pushed past him to get your stuff from the kitchen so you could rush to your car to cry. 

Harvey was tapping on your window just before you started the car. Curse your five-minute breakdown for being long enough for him to notice you were gone. 

“What?” you asked as you rolled down the window. 

“Are you okay?” Harvey asked. “You ran out of there so fast-” 

“You were right, okay?” You put your car in reverse before looking back up at him. “Caliban’s not a good guy and you warned me. Will you just let me go so I can cry somewhere that’s not here?” 

“Hey, you know that’s not what I meant,” Harvey said softly, reaching through the window for you. “Let me come with-” 

“No. Go have fun with your family. I need to get out of here.” 

“But-” 

“Harvey, move or I will drive over your foot.” 

You didn’t think he was going to do it, but Harvey took a very reluctant step back and put his hands up in surrender. He wasn’t going to fight for you either, not that you’d given him much of a chance. Harvey was stood there, watching you drive away until he disappeared in your rearview mirror. 

Music blared in an attempt to drown out your thoughts, but there was one you couldn’t get rid of no matter how hard you tried. Sabrina was right - every Kinkle family get together ended horribly.

Tagged:  @miss--moose​  @marrypuffsstuff​  @harryscarolinaa​  @igorsbby​​  @foji2000​​  @mschfavngz​​  @artaxerxesthegreat​​  @thxmagic​​  @strawberriesandknives​​  @xealia​​  @hotmessindisguise​​  @reheated-coffee​​  @shelby-x​​  @perseny-blog​​  @millie-753​​  @luneerius​​  @shizzybarnaclee​​  @lettherebelovex​​  @throughparisallthroughrome​  @ietss​  @thebookwormlife​  @mechanicalanimalz​  @mariamermaid​  @nqbmf​  @drrramaaaqweeen​ 

[hxpemingi]

missing puzzle piece <3 s.c.b

a/n: this is my first ever lil au that ive written so please bare with me as i’m typing this as i go hehe (✿◠‿◠) sorry for any grammatical errors!!

Summary: you and changbin have been friends for years, you’ve always had a soft spot for this kid.  You have always had those lingering thoughts in the back of your mind that maybe one day this friendship could turn into something more..

word count: 2.6k 

genre/rating: oneshot!, friends to lovers!, female reader, college age, fluff, just pure fluff, angst if you squint.

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As the summer winds down and the sense of the cool breeze fills the air, i know soon enough that the fall semester is coming closer.  i dont mind school all that much, its even better that i get to spend the day with one of my closest friends changbin.  we’ve been friends for gosh knows how long and we act like brother and sister at this point. But nonetheless, theres always that feeling of “what if” in the back of my mind.... what if we did end up dating? I always feel like a puzzle with a missing piece.... I want to find someone to complete the puzzle.  As i shove those thoughts to the back of my mind i hear my phone buzzing on my bed.

-Binnie 6:30pm-

what u doing tonight? are you free??

-Y/N 6:33pm-

i have a hot date with a bowl of ice cream and the couch tonight, but i guess i can rain check. whatchu got planned?

-Binnie 6:37pm-

Wanna go to the beach with me and the boys? we plan on chilling and watching the sunset with a fire and a few drinks.  whaddya say you in?

-Y/N 6:40pm-

count me in...pick me up in 30

-Binnie 6:45pm-

shweeeeet see u then

As soon as i see that text, i put my phone down and change out of some comfy clothes and change into shorts and a cropped tee.  I should probably bring a hoodie but i know Changbin has a few in his car.  I swear that man has a whole closet in his car.  I put on a pair of slip on shoes so that way i can take them off when I’m at the beach.  As I’m putting on shoes i see Changbin’s car pull into my driveway.  After grabbing my house keys and purse I head down the driveway to get into the car where Felix and Han are in the backseat giving me the front seat.

“Glad you gave up your hot date with ice cream to hangout with us tonight” Changbin says as he heads down the road to get to the beach.

“You know i was gonna finish Avatar tonight and cry over my love for zuko but NOOOOOOO i’m gonna become a babysitter for 9 kids as they throw each other in the ocean” i say with the slightest bit of sarcasm

“Oh c’mon Y/N, the ending of avatar can wait. theres supposed to be a comet tonight!!!!” Felix chirps from the backseat

“Yeah Y/N the sky is supposed to be clear and we’ll be able to see it pass by, you wont be able to see it for another 100 years!” Han chimes in.

“They’re right Y/N, it’s a perfect night to watch it.  When will you ever be able to say you’ve seen a comet pass by in your lifetime?” Changbin adds to the conversation.

“I’m pretty sure I saw a comet that time where we were all star gazing on Minho’s roof last summer” i say to them as changbin pulls into the beach parking lot.

“Y/N i hate to break it to you, but that was an airplane.” Han says while Felix giggles.

I turn back at the giggling fools and give them a glare.

“I SHALL STAND BY THE FACT THAT IT WAS A COMET YOU TWO” i say back to the boys as Changbin puts the car into park.

We meet up with the rest of the boys who are currently setting up a makeshift fire pit and setting out some foldable chairs, thats when i realize theres 9 chairs but 10 people.  Guess I will have to sit in the sand.  I don’t worry about it too much when i see Chan currently chasing Seungmin with a dead jellyfish on a stick trying to poke him.  We haven’t been here a total of 5 minutes and there’s already chaos.

-

-

-

After an hour or two of the boys running around in the sand, throwing each other in the water, and a quite competitive game of tag, the sun starts to turn the sky the most beautiful shades of orange and red.  Chan runs to his car to grab a speaker and Hyunjin starts a fire.  Pretty soon the boys gather around the fire when Jeongin says 

“Guys theres only 9 chairs and 10 of us...”

“I’ll just sit on the sand.” I say as I get ready to sit in the sand.

“Y/N, just sit on my lap” Changbin says quietly as you didn’t hear him walk up behind you

“Nono Binnie it’s fine I-”

“No excuses, now come on” he says as he drags me with my hand in his.

While I’m sure no one saw that encounter, I’m pretty sure they see the huge blush that has crept across my face.  Sure I’ve sat on changbins lap before, we do it when theres movie night at Woojins place.  It’s nothing new between us but my feelings for Changbin push through my mind and soon enough, I’m sitting on his lap trying to make myself comfy on his thighs.  Changbin casually snakes his hands across my waist and i suddenly freeze up.  Well thats new, he normally never does that. I try to relax my body and for some reason, it feels natural.  I suddenly feel safe in his arms. 

“Does anyone know when this whole comet thing will come??” Minho says as the music plays in the background.

“According to my phone, it says that we’ll be able to see it pass through around 10 or so.” Felix says as he looks it up on his phone.

“Well since we have time to kill, how about a friendly game of truth or dare?” Hyunjin adds to the conversation.

the group and I nod our heads in agreement as the game of truth or dare starts.

“Seungmin, Truth or dare?” Hyunjin starts off.

“Dare” Seungmin says non chalantly.

“I dare you to run into the ocean with your shoes on” hyunjin says while everyone giggles

“Really? I just bought these shoes ughhhhh” Seungmin sighs as he gets up from his chair and runs towards the water

“I hate this i hate this i hate this” he says as everyone by the fire laughs hysterically 

Once he returns back to the shore where the fire pit is, he takes off his shoes and sits down with a huff.

“alright lets see, Y/N truth or dare?” He says as his eyes direct towards me and changbin.  

I’m not one to play these games so i decided to play it safe

“Truth” i say

“BOOORRRRRINGGGGGGG” Han says from the other side of the fire

“Hmm, when was the last time you kissed a boy?” he says and the group falls silent

Shit, when was the last time i kissed someone? well besides my cat Lucifer i don’t think i’ve ever kissed anyone? Do I lie and say last week? or do I tell the truth and say no one?

“uhhh never” I say in a quiet voice as everyone eyes are glued to me still.  I can feel Changbins gaze on me as he tenses up a little bit, squeezing his arms a little tighter around me

“You really haven’t kissed anyone? Not even that kid you were seeing last semester?” Changbin whispers into my ear

“No we went on two dates and he was a total square and was really boring, he never initiated anything anyways” I say back

“Alrighty Y/N, you can ask a truth or dare or have someone else pick” Seungmin says as he waits for my response

“uhm, Changbin can pick who goes next” I say as I look down at the sand, my feet becoming more interesting

“Can I dare myself?” Changbin says as the group shares a puzzled look with eachother. It’s quiet for a moment before Chan says

“I mean it’s not a rule that you can’t do it but I guess go ahead buddy”

“Alright, I dare myself that I go on a walk with Y/N for a bit. You guys can keep playing” he says and I perk my head up and turn around facing him, giving him a puzzled look.

“Why would you wanna dare yourself to do something so casual?” I say as I get up off of his lap. My waist feeling empty as I grew used to having Changbins arms wrapped around me

“It was beginning to get boring anyways, plus my leg fell asleep from you sitting on it” he chuckles

As we two walk away from the guys who are giggling and laughing, their voices become faint as all I hear are the waves crashing along the shore. It’s peaceful, it’s quiet, and it’s just Changbin and I.

It’s silent for a few minutes before Changbin exhales and stops for a moment to look at the water and the stars up in the sky.

“How come you never told me you haven’t kissed anyone? Cmon Y/N we’ve been friends for years. We tell eachother everything” Changbin says and I look over at the water avoiding his eye contact

“I just didn’t think it was that big of a deal. How lame is it that I haven’t even had my first kiss and my younger sister has for gods sake? I sound like a loser saying it. It’s easy for you to say, I bet you boast to the boys on how many girls fling themselves at you.” I say with a hint of jealousy at the end.

“I don’t think it’s lame y/n, you’re just saving yourself for someone special. And no I do not brag to the boys about “all the girls I get” when in reality I have a different girl in mind.” He says as he goes and steps in front of me. Faces inches away from each other.

I take a few steps back to get some space between us. He’s acting different. It seems like this girl is really sweet from the sounds of it. I try not to act jealous when I start to ask about her

“Who’s this special girl in mind huh? How come you never brought this up to me? Do I approve of her?” I start to spit fire questions at Changbin before he starts talking again.

“I’ve never brought it up to you because I don’t want to ruin anything that I already have with her. I’ve been so nervous to fully confess my feelings because there’s that thought in the back of my mind that maybe she doesn’t like me back.” Changbin rambles when you cut him off

“Why don’t you man up and do it already? I mean the worst thing she could say is no right? Who knows, maybe she does like you back.” I say and Changbin blurts out

“I like you a lot y/n, like a lot a lot”

Holy shit

Seo Changbin, my best friend of 11 years

Just confessed

That he likes me????

“I- I- really? You’re kidding right? Changbin don’t play with my feelings-“ I say before he cuts me off

“Y/n I’m serious, I’ve liked you for a long time and I didn’t know how you would feel, but I know it was stupid of me to confess you know? I probably ruined everything and now our friendship is ruined and nothing will ever be the same again and I-“ before he rambles himself into oblivion i cut him off.

“The feelings mutual binnie, I’ve liked you for god knows how long” i say as he looks up at me.

“I’ve liked you since that day when I jumped off the jungle gym in 3rd grade and you helped me to the nurses office. I’ve always had those feelings for you but I always pushed them back in my head because who knows how you would feel right? So whenever you went and saw other girls it made me the slightest bit jealous. Always wondering if that could be us someday. So then I went on dates with guys but nothing lasted for more than one date. They weren’t you Changbin. It was always you” I say so fast i almost run out of breath

We look at eachother for a few moments before Changbin wraps one of his arms around my waist, taking his other and tucking a few strands of loose hair behind my ear. We look at each other for a few moments as my hands snake up around his neck, definitely a feeling I could get used too. His eyes go from my eyes, down to my lips, then back up to my eyes.

“Since you never had your first kiss, may I?” Changbin says as he’s looking at me like I’m the finest piece of art in the world. Taking in everyone of my features.

“I’d thought you’d never ask” I say with a grin.

He closes the distance between us and both of our eyes close. His lips are warm and soft. Although I’ve never kissed anyone before I start to follow his lead and mirror what he’s doing. It’s a slow and adoring kiss. Not anything fast or sensual. We take our time to see how our lips mold into one another. We break away for a few moments and Changbin puts his forehead on mine.

“You know for not kissing anyone, it seems like you knew what you were doing” he says with a childish grin

“Eh from all the rom coms I’ve watched I feel like I had a good grasp of what I was doing” I say back before he kisses me again. 

I kiss him as if he’s going to disappear from me, pretty soon he has both of his hands around my waist, squeezing my sides earning a quiet yelp from me.  We break away the kiss again and i see him look up in the sky.

“Y/n there it is!!! It’s the comet” he says as he turns me around, hugging me from behind. His chin rests gently on my shoulder as we look at the comet pass by.  

“I don’t think I’ve seen anything more jaw dropping than this before” I say as i look closely at the comet passing by.

“Oh trust me princess, this comet is pretty. but nothing will compare to you” he says as he pecks my neck with kisses.

“We should probably go back before the guys round up a search party for us.” i say while leaving his touch and grab his hand, heading back to the crazy bunch of boys.

Once we make our way back to the gang they look at us with questioning looks, we’re both smiling like idiots and our hands are intertwined.

“What took you guys so long??? You missed the comet, you should’ve seen it!” Jeongin says

“Do i even wanna know what happened?” Chan says, raising a brow at us.

“Don’t worry guys, we stopped and saw the comet too. Nothing crazy happened.” Changbin says with a sheepish grin and I start giggling 

“Did you two confess to one another yet? I’ve been waiting for this.” Hyunjin says as the boys nod their heads in agreement.

“Yeah Bin, did you finally grow a set and confess? I was getting sick of the late night texts saying “ooooo im in L word my guy” “bro she looks so good today”- UGH” Han continues to ramble while Felix elbows him in the gut. 

Changbin and I look at each other and start laughing, he leans down and pecks me on the lips. Earning a few “awws” and an “ew” from Jeongin.

“Does that answer everyones questions?”  Changbin says as we sit back down by the fire. 

We sit back down and start chatting at the fire, talking about the comet and small talk in between. For the first time in my life, I feel content with everything. Content with these 8 crazy boys I can call my friends. And Changbin, everything feels so right finally. It feels like all the puzzle pieces have been put together

Changbin was my missing puzzle piece. 

And now the puzzle is complete.

[fiction-in-my-blood]

Switching Sides: Part 13 (HLITF)

if anyone possibly wants to get on a tag list I’d be happy to make one

👉 @theshove 👈

If you wanna catch up, Part 12 is right here! Happy reading :)

Premise: Growing up in a life of crime in a Japanese mafia, Atsuko Motomori has seen enough injustice to last her a lifetime. To try and give back to the universe her family has taken so much from, she dreams of being a detective from a young age. Her twin, sharing her disgust for her father and many uncles, just wants an ordinary life away from the crime, paing and suffering. Instead, she wants to be in the spotlight with the soft notes she makes with her cello. In their escape of 2015, on their coming of age birthday, they must split ways, never to be together ever again. If one was found, they didn’t want the other dragged down with them. Atsuko, having changed her name and appearance as best she can without a scalpel, sets off to start her life of car chases and arrests.

Four years in a seemingly dead-end police station in the middle of nowhere, being passed over time after time for promotion, Atsuko finally gets a shot at her dream, having been sent to an academy for the best candidates in the country by her boss who had always kept an eye out for her. After discovering her boss may have made her bite off more than she could chew, Atsuko must become the slave of a dominating instructor!? Who so just happens to be the captain of the most famous police unit in Japan? Not to mention a total knockout! Will Atsuko finally achieve her dream? Or will her new instructor put her through the wringer?

Warnings: Language, Reference to sexual activity, Forceful nature, Abuse, Kidnapping, Torture.

~~~~~~

A week and a half had passed since I awoke in the hospital. My recovery was slow, painstakingly so, and I found my thoughts trailing back to every painful memory I had. But, no matter how scared and depressed I got, Kaga would always somehow show up, explaining he had more questions for me, and I would be able to slowly explain to him the same story I had been repeating for days at that point. It was almost comforting and with the silent stare he showed me every time I was able to complete the tale, I felt myself connecting with reality a little bit more. It showed me, reporting to him, that I had lived through it.

~~~~~~

"He's being sentenced today," Juna announced as she sat on the couch in my room, eating some noodles she had bought on the way over. We both stared out the window, the sky raining down hard pellets on the city below. It was a soothing sound to fill the silence that followed her announcement.

"What... What if he doesn't get imprisoned?" I couldn't help my imagination get the better of me. What if he was set free when all the evidence magically disappeared? What if the defence was able to create enough reasonable doubt for the jury to deem him innocent? What if he didn't get a long enough sentence?

I had filmed a video of my witness statement for the courts several days ago, and that was traumatic enough. If I had to do it again in an appeal the defence made up to weaken the case, I wouldn't be able to go up in front of the world and tell my story. I couldn't share with them all my years of weakness as I allowed myself to be abused by the man who was meant to protect me.

"He's going to be put away, Katsu. Don't even put that into the universe." A displeased expression flew over Juna's face as she turned to me, cringing even at how I could think of that happening. I knew it was irrational. The case was solid. There was no way for him to snake out of this one. But, still... I couldn't help but worry.

"Oh!" Juna suddenly gasped, placing a hand on her bursting belly. She was a matter months away from the due date, so the gasp in surprised caused fear of a miscarriage to circulate my brain. I called out, questioning her what was wrong as I lifted the sheets off my legs. She laughed, jumping up and pushing me back on the bed before I could even rest my covered feet on the cold floor. I was only allowed one assisted lap around the hospital floor a day, and I had already used that token up.

"It's fine. I'm fine. Here." She smiled, taking my hand and placing it where her's had previously been. There, I felt a pressure poking from her belly and recoiled in uneasy disgust. She laughed at my childish reaction to her baby kicking and went to sit down again.

Biting the tip of my thumb, the reality of her birthing a child of her own hit me again. At least, for this one, they might not have to worry as much as we did growing up. They would still be hidden from the world, hidden from what remained of my father's mob, but maybe they would have some freedom to be happy and childish for longer than we did.

"That smells really good." I sighed, trying to distract myself from those lingering thoughts, referring to her takeout food. It felt like years since I had swallowed something solid. My stomach felt empty most of the time, but thanks to the IVs, I never felt truly hungry. Just a little uncomfortable.

Juna laughed at me, explaining that she knew I wasn't really allowed solids yet. "I had pudding yesterday! Come on, just a noodle." I pointed one finger up to show how little I needed. My jaw almost felt weak; not using it for so long. She laughed again, picking up a strand between two fingers and dropping it into her mouth teasingly.

The more we talked and she teased me, the more relaxed I became. It was only when she left did I ever let my thoughts return. Let them consume me the way they did. As she told me what romantic thing Kanto had done this morning, a knock came to my door. We both turned and my eyes grew at who stood there.

For a moment, I saw the man that fed me when I was in captivity. He smiled, holding a bag of candies in one hand, showing it to me like it was a prize. I yelled, screaming as I jumped out of my bed and pushed myself to the back corner.

"No! Go away!" I cried out, him watching my reaction made his expression fall.

"Katsu! Katsumi, calm down! It's just Noburu." Juna ran to me from the other side of the bed and held my shoulders to try and stop my kicking. Tears streamed down my face as I begged for the man to leave. I didn't want the kindness he showed me, I was so sure it was what made me feel the true extent of the pain I felt.

Soon enough, nurses came rushing in, pushing passed the man that stayed in the doorway, face blank with shock. When they couldn't calm me down, I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and my consciousness quickly faded.

~~~~~~

"This is the worst day she's had so far." Katsumi's doctor told the man and woman that stayed in her room as she slept in the bed. After her breakdown, the surgeon was called to help explain why she had reacted so vividly and check up on her condition. Luckily, she hadn't ripped a stitch from her surgery.

"But she knew Noburu before it happened. Why would she think he was one of her captors? She hasn't seen him in weeks!" Juna fretted, sympathetic worry spreading across her face as the bartender looked at the sleeping beauty guiltily.

"I don't know, but you can't come again. Not until she's healed. She still has weeks of rehab ahead of her." The doctor turned to the young man and he nodded solemnly.

"Surely she'd learn to remember what Noburu really looks like?" Feeling sorry for the man she knew loved her sister, Juna pleaded his case.

"It's too risky when she's still in this vulnerable stage. When she can fall asleep unaided and have a peaceful night, then you can try. I'm sorry, but you need to leave." Doctor shaking his head, Noburu left, leaving the treats he knew Katsumi would have loved on the table at the end of her bed.

~~~~~~

"What's this?" Instructor Kaga asked as I laid in my bed, staring intensely out the window. When I was sleeping, I had another dream about my captors, but this one seemed so surreal, it had really shaken me up. I hadn't talked to any of the nurses and my mood, not to mention my mental stability, was completely at rock bottom.

"Juna left it for me. You can have it, I'm not allowed to eat." I groaned, shuffling onto my back and sitting up to see Kaga already sifting through it. From what I suspected, he had come to tell me the result of my father's hearing, but all he had done so far was steal my-get-well-soon presents.

Sitting in silence, I bit the tip of my thumb to distract the nerves in my stomach. Kaga seemed very content with chewing on the soft sugary treat gifted to me.

"Will you tell me already?" I called out, throwing my fists into my mattress in irritation. Kaga looked at me with a raised brow, his demeaningly concerned look replaced on his face. "My father's trial. You came to tell me what happened, right?" I asked again, needing to know. The anticipation was too much.

"I don't know yet," Kaga grumbled and returned to the squishy cake in between his fingers. I frowned, crossing my arms and turning to look out the window again. It was still raining, even though a day had passed since I was last awake.

The silence was almost too much to bear, so, with a desperate need to cover my thoughts, I grabbed the remote controller on the table beside my bed and pointed it to the radio on the counter across the room. Classical music with a leading group of strings burst from it and I closed my eyes as I tried to drown out my thoughts and every sensory memory I had of weeks prior.

Suddenly, the volume decreased significantly and my gaze shot open to see Kaga standing beside it.

"Are you 90?" He frowned, throwing the pink packaging of the cake in the trash can by the door as he returned to the couch.

"It's my sister's. She helps me calm down." I sighed, turning it up again, although keeping it lower than before as it seemed to annoy him so much. Then, Kaga sprung up again, approaching my bed.

"You won't be able to recover if you just block it out." He placed a hand on the bar above my head and the other on the guarded rail on my bed, leaning in close so all my senses were enveloped by him. His smoke and cologne scent. His face was all I could see. His words repeated over and over again in my head. The warmth of his chest emitting onto my slightly cooler body. My eyes grew wide and I felt my heart stop due to the proximity.

"You need to learn to deal with that if you want to return to the academy." His voice was low and the comment made my head jerk in surprise. He thought I was going to return to my old life? After all the trouble I caused?

"There's no chance I can get back in. My entire resume is fake, let alone my application. I thought I was going to get kicked if I didn't work for you." I frowned my brows, saddened to have to admit I would never be able to complete my dream. Looking down, I found the arm he had encompassed over me. Running my gaze down to his hand, I noticed his knuckles white with pressure.

Before Kaga could retort, a small voice came from the doorway. "Instructor, I have the files you asked for."

Watching Kaga draw back, my eyes locked with a girl I once had a close connection with. She looked tired, a little worse for wear, but most of all, she was teary-eyed.

"Naruko," I uttered under my breath, honestly shocked to see her here. She just stood there, holding onto a beige folder. Kaga stormed over, snatching it from her.

"You're late." He grumbled, taking it and reading through it. I gulped when Naruko's gaze didn't fall from mine.

"Would you come here already? I can't exactly get up." I smiled through blurry vision, trying to reconnect with the girl I left behind. Her shoulder slumped and she ran towards me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"What the hell, Atsuko! I thought you were dead! I mean, you were dead! How could you betray me?" She shouted in my ear the name she knew me by, tears flying down her face and onto my shoulder. I bit my lip guiltily.

"I'm sorry but... How did I betray you?" I laughed when she pulled back and showed me an out of character frown.

"You said we would graduate together! Why did you leave?" She frowned and my breathing stopped. The happiness I nurtured from seeing her slowly died as I was reminded once again of what I couldn't accomplish.

"He's got life." Kaga suddenly announced, drawing both of our attention towards him. He still had his gaze in the folder, but I knew what he was talking about. My father... He's going to die in prison?

"What?" I asked, feeling Naruko's confusion as she was pushed further into the unknown of my situation. Even though I had an idea of what he was on about, I wanted to make sure. I wanted to make sure I wasn't being hopeful.

"He's got 100 years in jail for ratting some of his partners. He’ll probably be dead by the time that’s up." Kaga seemed hesitant at first but still told me. I gripped the sheets by my leg and reached for my phone on the table.

"You, go back to the academy." Kaga shot a glare at Naruko and she quickly followed his order by running to the door. Before she left, she passed me a meaningful smile and closed the door behind her.

"You're going to recover and you're returning to work," Kaga announced once he was sure Naruko was gone as I stared at my phone, desperately trying to make sense of the clusters of blur in front of me. My vision still hadn't corrected, but I was growing a sense of understanding when I could see the characters. It was so frustrating, trying to see when I knew couldn't. No matter how hard I squinted or how sternly I stared at the object, I couldn't make sense of anything. I couldn't even see my sister's face when she hugged me. I couldn't see myself in the mirror. Just a blur of skin and the white of my hospital gown.  

"I can't! How am I supposed to be a detective when I can't even stop this from happening?" I shouted, suddenly enraged by how poor my eyesight had gotten, throwing my phone into the wall of my hospital room to dismiss my problems. It fell into reconnectable pieces at the force.

"I became a cop to protect us, but I failed at that. Juna got kidnapped and I put her baby in danger. All I did at the academy was make mistake after mistake. My recklessness put complete strangers in danger! A boy almost lost his mom! How can I work when whatever I do gets people hurt?" I shouted, tears spilling from my eyes when I didn't care who heard me. I was angry and sad and broken and I just wanted to cry.

Suddenly, I felt arms around me. My head was pulled against a soft, hard surface and I felt a warm breath on my hair. My eyes widened when I realised Kaga was holding me, trying to calm me down.

"You're always so damn loud." I heard him mutter as more tears spilt from my eyes. I clutched the arm around my front for support, needing to know that I wasn't in that room. I needed to know this was reality because lately, I've been having trouble differentiating.

“Just shut up for a minute and remember where you are. Forget the past. It won’t do you any good.”

At some point during my pathetic weeping, with the little sleep I had been getting, I slipped into unaided unconsciousness, something else I’d been struggling with since I was saved.

[miraculouscataclyyysm]

Part 10

link to part 9

This part is about just one episode, it’s quite important to the au wich is why Iv given it it’s own part, basically, Lila becomes the peacock miraculous holder, this all takes place after feast but before the battle of the miraculous

Lila is at the Agreste mansion getting tutored by Adrian sins she’s so behind *eye roll* she sees Nathalie faint and Gabriel take the peacock brooch  away from her, she follows Gabriel and sees him go into his secret evil villain layer 

Later she goes up to him and straight-up says “I’d make a much better Mayura than Nathalie” Gabriel is taken back by this “ don’t try denying it, Also I know Adrian isn’t the most perceptive guy but you might wanna try hiding all of this a bit better” Gabriel would be losing his shit right now if he wasn’t so impressed by the girls confidence (Gabriel she literally just called your son and idiot and your impresses? Da fuck)

Gabriel being the stupid, evil, sadistic, terrible father that he agrees to partner with Lila and gives Lila the peace miraculous whenever she will be useful (because that’s gonna end well)

The first time he calls her in to fight she takes full advantage of the situation to cause havoc for the class, she creates a sentimonster version of Adrian, Gabriel pulls Adrian out of school for the day for a modelling gig to keep him occupied, when felix asks what’s going on Nathalie just says “Gabriel has decided to focus more on adrians career, after all hes the real Agreste heir, Gabriel needs to put in some more training time with him so you’ll be driven to school alone” felix just closes his eyes for a second to proses that verbal slap across the face and says “right, I’ll be off then” he decides to walk to school and pick Marinette up his way while Lila sends senti monster Adrian to class

Sentimonster Adrian then walks into the art room where Mari and Alix are helping out marc and nath, it starts off fine, but then at lilas command senti-Adrian switches and starts calling bath and marcs work creepy and disgusting “this isn’t art it’s basically a toned-down version of stalking? Do you really think any of Paris’s heroes wanna see your creepy drawings, this is just fan fictions...neither of you are anything special” Mari is taken back by the outburst, this doesn't seem like the Adrian she's grown to know, Alix, on the other hand, is already at boiling point “like you'd now anything about art Agreste, you have as much depth as a glass of water, and for your information ladybug as seen there comic and loves it, she even asked for a signs comply when it’s complete” “then she clearly has no taste just like i already suspected” that’s when Mari sees this can’t be Adrian “Adrian I think you should leave” once he’s gone she turns to the other three and says “I don’t think that’s Adrian guys” nath-“what do you mean? That sure as hell looked a lot like Adrian to me” Mari-“when has Adrian ever said anything remotely bad about anyone? Especially ladybug?” Marc-“she has a point...we should find Alya, see if she can send lb a warning about a possible Akuma” as there talking Alix slowly backs out of the room to transform

After leaving the art room senti Adrian *being pupeted by Lila* went off to hurt as many people as possible and successfully caused juleka, Alya and max to be akumatised, the key insults *by Lila* being:

To Alya-“the fact you call yourself a real journalist is a joke, your nothing more than a half baked gossip blogger using her so-called hero for attention” to Juleka-“your pathetic, your just a scared, sad, emo princess that’s obsessed with her best friend and has no real opinions for herself *evil chuckle* or her own voice, speak juleka...just speak” to max- “you wanna know why your always alone?” Max-“but I’m not alw” “I’m speaking max! You're always alone because nobody likes a know it all, you make all your friends feel less than, you hurt everyone you love, that’s why you’ll always be alone, forever”

Once she’s transforms lb gets a call from bunnix “finally! Iv been try to get ahold of you for 2 whole minutes lb! We have a possible akuma at dupont” “have you gotten ahold of chat?” B-“radio silence” lb-“this isn’t good” B-“don’t stress red we can Handel an Akuma by ourselves” lb-“I don’t think it’s an Akuma though...I think it’s a sentimonster”

After 5 more minutes of failed calls to chat Lb tracks down Felix and tells him he needs to transform “I can’t get ahold of chat Noir and we have a big issue on our hands” “but there isn’t an Akuma” “but there will be...I BELIVE there’s a sentimonster in the school parading around as your cousin Adrian Agreste” felix just rolls his eyes “of course there is” lb-“ felix there’s no time for your broodyness, so drop the dramatics for now and transform...chop chop”

Chat shows up halfway threw the fight “I’m so sorry bugaboo, I was stuck at the other side of Paris, I couldn’t get away from my civilian duties and faster” lb-“it’s fine chat, Renard Arctique and bunnix have lady wifi, Reflekta and know it all (‘know it all’ is Max’s akumatised name, he has the ability to know everyone’s biggest insecurities and uses it against them making it the only thing they can think about) I kneed you help tracking down the sentimonster before it cases any more akuma’s” Chat-what’s the sentimonster of?” “Adrian Agreste” *chats giving lb the biggest oh shit face* they hunt down senti Adrian and after a major fight with himself (hehe) Chat and lb manage to defeat it, then they join Renard and bunnix to finish off the akumas

Yeah she was defeated but lila calls it a successful day, she managed to cause 3 akumas without really lifting a finger or damaging her own rep and proved her usefulness to Gabriel, she calls that a win in her book

The next day when Adrian walks into class with Felix, all eyes are on him, he try’s to apologise to the class but lila runs up to him pushing Chloe out of the way to engulf Adrian in a tight hug *chloes fully red in the face with rage* Mari leaning over to whisper to felix “this should be good”

lila- “it’s okay Adrian we know it wasn’t you! You’d never say such hurtful things to us” alix-“you weren’t even at school yesterday lie-la” lila-“that’s because that THING attacked me on my way to class, calling me all sorts of horrible things, but lucky I’m professionaly trained in yoga and was able to comtrol my emotions, I just had to run home and send ladybug a warning obviously alix” felix- “you’ve been professionaly trained to control you’re emotions yet you e been akumatizes about 5 times...what a joke” lila glares at felix

Sensing tension Adrian interjects “I’m still sorry everyone, I hate that something looking exactly like me hurts any of you, I’d never wanna case anyone of you pain” Chloe gets up and pulls Adrian out of lila’s tight hold “it’s okay adrikins we know that your the sweetest person alive anyone who believed that impostor is utterly ridiculous ” felix grones and murmurs “I’m gonna be sick” Mari smirking “want me to get you a bag”

After sitting down Nino says “don’t worry dude your friends know you, I never had a doubt about it, the second I overheard what it said to Alya I knew that wasn’t you, you wouldn’t hurt anyone” “thanks Nino” “no thanks necessary here bro, if you wanna thank someone it should be Marinette” looking shocked Mari interrupts “what? No! No no no you seriously don’t have to say anything, I was just doing what anyone else would do” Felix looked at his girlfriend and gave her a soft smile

Felix-“it’s true Adrian, she’s the one that talked Nathaniel and marc down after your evil doppelgänger verbally attacked them, then she told them it couldn’t be the real you, because you wouldn’t hurt s fly *trademark Felix eyeroll* she even got everyone to spread the word around school and got word to lb, she was a total hero” Marinette looks at Felix with a small smile and slight blush, Adrian breaks the soft AF moment by saying “I don’t know what to say Marinette, thank you, thank you for having so much faith in me” Mari-“of course I have faith in you, I know you, Adrian, you’re good person” jokingly she giggles and says “a little dens (talking about Kagami) but you have a good heart...down to your core”

After school Nino and Mari join Felix and Adrian at the mansion and chill around playing video games...okay so Felix technically  Doesn’t play any of the games he just sits next to Mari and watches as she demolishes Nino and Adrian at every single game, he can’t help thinking how beautiful she looks when her smile is wide and toothy, her face is slightly pink from yelling with excitement and her eyes are wide and bright...she’s the definition of beautiful

Link to part 11

Tags-

@lunar-wolf-warrior @bamagirl513 @persephonebutkore @charlietheepic7 @7-sage-7 @spicybelladonna @akana-sama @goggles-mcgee

Edit: link to art I made for this part

[chocojjk]

Dreaming

summary: idol minho, fan reader ??? lots of smiling and overall just soft things...nothings changed, i still suck at summaries 

words: 2.1k

a/n: not my best work and also not edited but i haven't written in so long and i kind of just forced myself to write this,, hopefully someone still enjoys it lol 

you noticed the boy ahead of you panicked as the cashier behind the counter gawked, slightly yelling out a “omg, are you lee minho???!!”

this definitely caught your attention, especially since you were a huge fan of said idol

“uh? what?” he says, as you noticed his fingers fidgeting from behind the counter

“you’re the guy from stray kids!!” she says out loud, her voice beginning to catch the attention of others

you couldn’t really tell if it was him or not as he was wearing a face mask and his bangs mostly covered what was left of him

however you scanned him up and down and noticed the little cat paw airpod case hanging on his belt, hidden behind his large sweatshirt

and so you confirmed that the person standing in front of you was indeed, the one and only, lee minho from stray kids

“n-no th-that’s not me , i-i uh…” he replied frantically, his hands quickly yet unnoticeably playing with the hem of his black sweatshirt

seeming as the boy has entered panic mode, you decided to step in and help him out

linking his hand around yours, you turn to him “babe, what’s taking so long?,” you say, smiling sweetly as your eyes gave him a stern look seeming to say ‘play along’

minho couldn’t explain it

there was just something about you that made him put his trust in you

maybe it was your smile

maybe it was because he recognized your face

or maybe it was just due to the outburst of the situation that he found himself in the middle of

whatever it was, he played along with your little act

“uh….. uhm I forgot your order, what did u want again princess?”

princess ?/!:?;??? holy fuck!?!?!? he catches along quick...u swear u could die right there but instead you playfully slapped his shoulder, “Oh cmon, I've told you like 5 times now,” you say jokingly

facing the cashier, “add a matcha frappuccino with a pump of hazelnut please,” 

“uhm yes ma’am, will that be all?”

“yeah that’s all,” you say as minho fished for his wallet, getting ready to pay

“so you’re really not the guy from stray kids???” the cashier asked again

‘gosh, when will she let that go’ you thought to yourself

“he looks like lee know huh!!!” you say enthusiastically, at this, minho seems to freeze up by your side until you continued with “I tell him that all the time and he never believes me!” you finished with a pout as you and the cashier shared a laugh

minho handed her the total of your drinks as she bid you two a goodbye with “our waiters will bring your drinks out to you once they’re ready”

you made your way over to an empty table, expecting the boy to sit with you yet he had other plans

“what are you doing???” you whispered as he sat at the table across from you

“uhm... sitting?” he replies as it’s the most obvious thing in the world

“ uhh yeah, why are you sitting all the way there??”

“am i not allowed to?”

BITCH OMGJAHDJDHSHS

“hello,, in case you haven’t noticed i’m supposed to be your girlfriend!!” you say as you quietly stomped towards him and took the chair by his side

“look, don’t worry I don't want anything, I'm just trying to get you out of this coffee shop in one piece,” you explain since you start to feel the nervousness oozing off of the boy and that was the last thing you wanted to make him feel  

“why?” he says puzzled as to why you were helping him

“because i’m a fan, and i would like it for my idol to go back home in one piece,”

“y-you know it’s me?”

“y-yeah, you’re gonna need a better disguise if you wanna go out in public and not be recognizable” you reply, giving him a soft smile

at this, his eyes turned into little moons and you realized that he was smiling behind the black face mask sat upon his face

“thank you,” he says sweetly

you stare at him, mirroring his expression when you realized “oh!, i need to pay you back!” you say as you opened your wallet, however right when you were about to grab your money, he stopped you, his hand quickly enveloping yours but leaving as soon as it came

“you don’t have to... think of the coffee as my way of saying thank you,” he says, his voice gentle and soothing

“uh, okay, thank you,” you stutter, the feeling of his hands around yours still hazing your mind, making him laugh

you couldn’t believe it, you were really sitting in front of your idol, and not just any idol,, your BIAS...having a conversation with him, making him laugh

holy fuck you really are “y/n” from all the aus written out there

you stared at him until you realize that you’ve been staring for too long

clearing your throat, you try to open up a conversation

“so what are you doing out here anyways?”

“huh?”

“you just finished a concert, shouldn’t you be at the hotel with the rest of the boys...getting some rest?” you wondered

“oh well uh- i came out to clear my mind”

“ah, okay,” you say, not wanting to ask anymore as you felt like you were crossing territories that you shouldn’t be crossing

a couple of minutes later, your orders were finally brought out to your guys’ table

“Well, i guess this is goodbye,” you say as you guys walked out of the coffee shop together, sadness taking over as you realized that you would have to part ways with him

“Actually, I was gonna ask for one last favor,” he said, breaking you out of your thoughts

“Uh-yeah sure, a-anything,” you reply, trying to hold back the smile that was forming on your lips

“I forgot the way to my hotel,” he says sheepishly, scratching the back of his head

“D-do you want me to walk with you?” you ask, slightly baffled at his confession

“If you don't mind, my hotel is [enter name of hotel in your city] and it's just, I don't know the city that well and what if something like what happened back there happens again...i just wouldn’t know what to do and-” he continued

He said this all in a matter of seconds that it was hard for you to understand so you finally cut off his rambling by stretching your hand out and grabbing his

“ok cmon boyfriend, let’s go get you back to where you belong,” you say dragging him towards the way of the hotel, earning a laugh from him

As you guys walked side by side, you expected him to drop your hand already, however it seemed like he held on to it even tighter

However, you weren’t sure if he did or if it was just a figment of your imagination and so you asked him, “are you okay with me holding your hand?”

With this he smirks at you, “well, you're supposed to be my girlfriend, right?”

You let out a small giggle, “ that was back in the coffee shop, you don’t have to keep holding my-”

“No,” he says abruptly, causing you to to turn and look at him

“I-i like it, it’s nice,” he continues, slightly nodding his head, almost like he was telling himself ‘good job for speaking up’

reader , I honestly have no idea how you're still holding on, I would have fainted already

“Besides with the life I live, it's not everyday I get to hold a pretty girl’s hand... and even have a girlfriend,” he said softly, the vibe in the air slowly changing from a lighthearted one to a more serious one

You, being the cheerful one that you are, decided to break the tension, “what do you mean! You get to hold pretty girls’ hands all the timee!!,” you exclaimed

He looked at you like ‘what the fuck do u mean’

“Stays!” you reply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world

Again he let out another laugh, this one different than before...this one more alive… I guess the mention of his fans just sparks something different in the boy 

“..yeah but that's different,”

“ how is that different? I'm a stay just like them and were holding hands,”

“They're not as pretty as you,” he says smiling, as he took a sip of his drink, acting like those words didn't just come out of his mouth

‘Oh minho, you smooth mother******,’ you thought to yourself, trying to regain your senses

“I like your necklace” you say, changing the topic to ignore the butterflies erupting in your stomach, yet you couldn't hide the smile that was begging to be shown

he doesn't reply and just continues smiling, his hand still in yours, as the two of you continued to walk side by side, the hotel getting nearer with each step you take

After a good 3 minutes of silence, you contemplated what to say until the boy beat you to it, “you look familiar,” he says aloud

“Huh?”

“I feel like ive seen you before,” he said, eyebrows furrowing as he continued to think, which honestly he’s been trying to remember where he’s seen you ever since he first laid eyes on you

You laughed out loud and he looked at you, an eyebrow raised, curious as to why you found his statement so funny

“That's because you have,” you pointed out

‘Huh??? Where ??”

“I was at the hi touch today,” you say, giving him a smile

“oh..Oh, OH!,” he replied, his hands swinging yours in large motions as realization finally kicked in, “you were the one that called me your brightest star!” he chuckled, slightly teasing you

“ohmygod,” you say laughing along with him

your guys’ laugh mixing along together in the night air, creating an almost perfect melody

“yeah that was me,” you say breathlessly after the both of you calmed down

perfect timing as well, as you stopped right in front of the hotel, “well, here you are,” you say with a soft smile

“Thank you for tonight -uh,” he was about to say your name then realized he never even did ask you

“y/n,” you say, finishing it for him

He smiles at you, “thank you for tonight, y/n,” he says softly

“anytime,” you say back, mirroring his tone

“maybe next time i get lost in this city, I’ll have you by my side again to help me find my way,” he continued as he brought his mask down

you were now seeing all of him, and damn, his pictures don't do him any justice 

this man was truly the definition of beauty

you almost forgot that he was holding on to your hand until he brought it up to his lips, giving the back of your hand a soft kiss, breaking you out of your thoughts as you watched him do the small action

the same action that got your heart doing flips all over the place yet you composed yourself

“I hope I helped clear your mind,” you whisper, having a hard time regaining your voice after what the boy did

for the umpteenth time this night, he smiled at you, “get home safely okay,” he says as he turned his back from you and disappeared into the hotel, leaving you breathless and unsure if you were dreaming or not

It wasn't until a tall man in a black shirt came up to you that you finally regained your senses

How long were you standing out there for? You honestly weren't too sure

“Are you y/n?” he asks

“Uhh y-yeah, who’s asking?”

“Thanks for getting minho back safely to us, we've been worried for hours,” he says, as you finally realized that you were talking to their manager

“Oh uhm- it was no problem! I had nothing to do anyways,” you say sheepishly

“Well, he told me to make sure you get home safe so i'm here to be your uber driver,” he replied with a laugh

“Oh no, you don't have to, I know my way around,” you say, not wanting to cause a problem

“Please, it's the least we could do,” his manager retorted

Not having the energy to argue, you nodded and accepted the request

“By the way, he asked me to give this to you,”

and there in your hands, lay the cold, shiny, silver necklace that was around the boys neck, forever reminding you of the carefree night that you two shared

‘I guess it wasn't a dream after all,’ you thought to yourself, your smile as bright as the stars in the sky

[cordoniantrash]

Verdant Heart

Soooo… here’s the jealous!Savannah fic that I’ve tried my hand at. It was originally supposed to be just three parts where it shows instances of Savannah’s jealous moments over the years but I ended up with five parts that’s mostly written stream of consciousness style. Oops. 

Apologies for the purple patches in this. Also tried to put some symbolism here and there (which in hindsight is quite on the nose). no beta we die like men

Special thanks to the anon who sent that really sweet message! Grammatical mistakes are mine and do let me know what you guys think.

Title is from a quote by Russell Page, taken a bit out of context to fit the fic. Here’s the link to the thread that inspired this.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, Pixleberry has that privilege

Pairing: Bertrand x Savannah (I’m so sorry!), mentioned Liam x MC and a hint sentence of Drake x MC

Warning: mention of death

Words: 2382

I

Her clearest early memory was this: there was a ball, and the entire Walker family was invited. Savannah saw it as her first true ball. It wasn’t like the others where she and the other children (and the princes) were allowed in the ballroom for a little while and then ushered into a sitting room while the adults stayed in the grand ballroom and enjoyed the party. Savannah was actually dressed in a gown, a pretty little thing, forest green with skirts that swished when she twirled. She remembered that their parents allowed them to stay past their bedtimes ( “Just this once,” her father said), and little Savannah was determined to make the most of it. 

When the opportunity presented itself, she wandered off from the adults and found some of her friends, children of the staff in the palace, while her brother took off to go hang out with Prince Liam. On the other side of the room, near the thrones, she could see some noble’s children in their own little circles, fashionably dressed, almost doll-like in their perfection. 

The purpose of the event was lost to little Savannah. Looking back she remembered admiring the way the light danced on the floor of the grand ballroom, the tinkling of both glass and laughter, the way the skirt of the ladies’ gowns would sway and shimmer as they moved and glided across the floor. In a child’s mind, it was as though all her favorite fairy-tales have come to life and gathered at her home. 

As she gazed across the room, she saw the queen being surrounded by noblewomen, all fawning over her dress, her hair, her emerald jewels. She saw how the king would now and then look over and gaze at his wife with something that Savannah decided was love. 

It was there and then that she became acquainted with yearning, and in the years that followed, it became her constant shadow. Her friend. 

II

She tried to fit in, become a tree amongst the forest. She would be beautiful as myrtle, beloved as apple, graceful as jasmine flowers. Savannah dreamed of being loved and adored like every noble lady in the court. She tried to talk like them, act like them, be like them. So she would go on and pour herself into mint green dresses, drape jade across her throat and wrists, weave laurel colored ribbons in her hair. All the while telling herself that this will let her become like them. She clung to the idea of nobility like ivy, while her brother had begun to try to free himself from its clutches.

Yet it wasn’t enough. Her clothes were just a season too late, her manners lacking, her posture forever slipping. Her jewels did not shine, her dress dull, her charm lacking. Faced with all these, Savannah still tried and pushed, happy to be granted even a scrap of thought.

In her quest to be accepted, she had begun to develop a crush on the second prince (or was it the other way ‘round? She couldn’t quite recall). How could she not have a crush on him? Prince Liam was handsome and smart. He embodied sophistication for Savannah, and he always knew the right thing to say. A smile from him would have her feeling butterflies in her stomach.

Her brother knew of her little crush, of course. Savannah pleaded and cajoled her brother, promising him weeks-worth of chores and her best puppy-dog eyes for him to never mention it to Prince Liam. This did not stop him from teasing her every time they see the Princes. He would smirk, nudge her and loudly whisper:

“Look who it is Sav!”

“D’you wanna say hi?”

“Look, Sav! He might be looking your way!”

The embarrassment was excruciating. That did not curb her crush. 

It was him or nothing, really. He was the closest to her age (Maxwell does not count because he’s become something like a brother). Yes, she would giggle and swoon over the Crown Prince like the other palace girls (again, how could they not? Prince Leo was temptation incarnate) but she would always take fierce pride in the fact that while her friends gossip and play coy with the older brother, she was secure in the younger. In her daydreams, Prince Liam would woo her, would never embarrass her like Drake. He would be like the Princes in the fairy tales she loved. 

Savannah had it all planned out. She would always be with them in their escapades (well, along with Lady Olivia) and one day the Prince would notice and then, like the princess and the damsels in her stories, she too would have her happily ever after. She’d be accepted then. She would be enough.

Her plans were delayed when Savannah went with her family to their ranch in Texas for the second time. There she met Chuck and her plans and daydreams were put on indefinite hold.

She came back from that summer refreshed and feeling like a new person. She had bloomed into a woman that summer (or so she told herself), and when she went back to Cordonia, she felt ready to face the world. She’s not Drake’s younger sister anymore. She won’t be. She’ll be known as Savannah Walker and she’ll make her mark upon the world.

This newfound perspective, her new world, was shattered by a late-night phone call and a bullet wound. 

III

This is how she started seeing – truly seeing – him. It was her father’s funeral, and she was standing beside her brother, both of them staring at the casket. The Princes and the Brothers Beaumont stood beside the Walkers, (who were now thrust into the spotlight) as a show of solidarity. For once in Savannah’s life, she could find pleasure in being the center of attention. She wanted to disappear, to sink into the earth and let it swallow her so she may be with her father again. She’ll gladly disappear if it meant that her Dad would return to them.

She sniffled, her head bent, silently cursing herself for appearing less than strong in front of her father. In front of her family, in front of the court. At the corner of her eye, she could see the boys. For once they were standing behind Drake, all of them appearing blurry through her tears. Someone cleared their throat behind her. She turned her head and saw a handkerchief, black and perfectly folded. She raised her head and met the eyes of one Bertrand Beaumont. 

In the months and years that followed, Savannah learned that Bertrand was nothing like the Prince. Both of them were charming. Both of them, the epitome of courtly life, but while Prince Liam was born into it, at ease with all the protocols and the tradition, Bertrand upheld it with every fiber of his being. He lived it and pushed it into new heights. He radiated glamour and Savannah was more than happy to soak in it and bask in its glow, however, reflected it may be.

He was real and somehow all that she ever needed. Throughout their whole story, she began to feel accepted. Funny, she had thought, how one person could make her feel what dozen of noble ladies could not.

Savannah then came into a realization. Prince Liam was blue; he was deep seas and untouchable skies. He would always unknowingly have her childhood’s heart, but now he was hazy. Dreamlike. Like the memories she’ll always hold dear. Bertrand, in his brown suits, his patterned sweater vests, and dry wit was the opposite. He was steady, dependable. Real. An actual shelter, a true home, and like a fool she had given him her all.

Bertrand had opened the door into the life that she had yearned for. Bertrand was also the one to close it. The closest thing she had ever come to hating the nobility was after Bertrand told her they can never be together. That he still has to marry a noblewoman. After all this time she wasn’t enough. The baby wasn’t enough. They weren’t enough.

What’s worse is that in the eyes of the court she’ll be ruined. She’ll be like any other scandal. They don’t have to know, a voice whispered in her head as she agonized over what to do, dear, sweet Maxwell found her crying on the steps of the Beaumont estate and offered to help. She had accepted it, what else can she do?

She took some lessons from Kiara, noticing the way the Lady looked at her brother and shamefully taking advantage of it. She packed her bags before anyone could talk her out of it and moved to Paris. There she stayed and gave birth; cushioned by Maxwell’s kindness (and pity, she added in her head) until her brother found her appartement with an American in tow. 

IV

Her old friend, yearning came back, this time with company. Lady Cassandra was beautiful. What’s more was that she was magnetic, even when dressed casually. Savannah had seen her pictures from the tabloids and heard Maxwell’s stories, but nothing prepared her for the force of nature that was Cassandra.

“She’s really something else,” Maxwell had said. Savannah had chuckled and changed the subject.

Now that they’re face to face, Savannah can see it. She also saw how her brother would orbit around the woman. She had already endured Maxwell’s gushing about his new bosom buddy, his new sister, and knew with a heavy heart that Cassandra was head over heels with Liam. Savannah wonders how her brother can cope with that weighing him down while also quelling the envy that reared its ugly head. She refused to look into it for too long.

But despite her efforts, she still felt jealous. She wanted to scream. They were hers first. Her family, her brothers, her childhood prince. After she meets Cassandra, she began to compare herself to the American. She’d look in a mirror and let yearning and envy consume her thoughts.

With Lady Cassandra came other surprises. Bertrand came into her life again and began to build them back together once more. Brick by brick, lovingly (and awkwardly) place one after the other.

Savannah could have stayed in Paris, raised Bartie in the City of Love, and let Cordonia go. But the call of home, of Drake and Maxwell, of family (of Bertrand, her mind supplied) grew stronger every day. Maybe she had thought, maybe it’s time to grow roots. 

She came back, and the court was somehow changed yet still the same and Savannah occupied her old role: an outsider observer looking outside in. Once in awhile, she’d look again at a mirror and think. She used to dream of fitting in, of being the princess, being Snow White: Fairest of them all. Of having and commanding the adoration of people around her and lavish parties thrown in her honor. What she got instead was isolation in an apartment in Paris, a baby (the light of her life) out of wedlock and a relationship that was barely staying afloat while a complete stranger got the chance to achieve all her dreams and fancies.

It was not as if Cassandra was cruel to her. Or indifferent. She was always looking out for them, helping Bertrand communicate with her. Savannah was grateful, immensely so, but she can’t help but listen to a tiny voice in her head saying that the American turned Duchess was doing it mainly for Bertrand.

So despite her best efforts, she would still cast subtle glances, admiring and jealous at equal measure. Comparing and aspiring, a never-ending cycle. She thought she’d be free of that once she came back. She was wrong.

Savannah tried not to let jealousy get the best of her during Cassandra’s wedding. The event hasn’t even started yet the masses are already calling it the wedding of the century. Then Bertrand and the bridal party were attacked and Savannah is too worried to dwell on the wedding itself, that is until she saw the future queen of Cordonia being given away by Bertrand. Pride and something ugly she’d rather not dwell on swelled in her chest. Of course, the modern-day Cinderella would have her fairy tale wedding while Savannah – ordinary, commoner Savannah – can’t even have a straight conversation with the father of her child and the love of her life. 

This cocktail of emotions stayed with her until the wonder of all wonders happened: Bertrand stepped up and gave Savannah her most desired fairy-tale proposal. With the new queen’s help of course (but Savannah was too ecstatic to dwell on that).

Savannah felt bad about it afterward, especially in the wake of the kidnapping, but after the dust settled those emotions came back, embraced and nurtured by her old friends: yearning and envy.  

V

Now in her family’s ranch, with a mother who was trying her best and an aunt with understanding in her eyes, Savannah’s old friends dog her steps once again, but never for the same reasons: she yearns to have what Liam and Cassandra have, that ease that they exclude around each other, so different from the look that Constantine gave Eleanor all those years ago, but no less intense. No less loving.

She wonders if Bertrand would ever be as upfront about his affections like the royal couple are with theirs.

She envies that they seem to have everything they’ll ever need while her love struggles with their finances.

So Savannah can’t help but cast her little side-eyes, speak her little quips. Shape her wedding to the image of her parents instead of the courtly one that she had been dreaming of.

Savannah admires and envies Cassandra at the same time. Here was the woman who had achieved all of Savannah’s dreams and then some. And while Savannah would not trade Bertrand and Bartie for anything, a vicious little voice in her head would always find herself lacking and Savannah is growing tired of it. 

She longs to put down roots, to be steady as oak, long-lasting as a redwood. A shelter. A part of the forest.

Savannah chases contentment with yearning and envy at her side, wondering all the while why it eludes her. 

Tagging: @thecordoniandiaries, @kingliamsbitch, @badchoicesposts, @heauxplesslydevoted, @dcbbw, @janezillow 

Its a one-shot but if you guys want to be tagged let me know 😁

[anastasiaskarsgard]

CR NEWS Bill

Maybe if I just ignore them, they’ll go away. After five minutes, I decide this probably isn’t the best plan. Especially since they can literally see me through the window.

“MOTHERFUCKERS!” I yell as I swing open the door and my PR team hustles inside, nearly knocking my drink out of my hand.

“Are you really drunk at 10am on a Tuesday?” Melissa the lead PR tyrant asks me.

“Two guesses, first one doesn’t count. And for your information .... yes.” I giggle. I keep a steady buzz on the daily.

“What happens today?” A short red head I haven’t seen before demands.

“Who the fuck are you?” I snap.

She blushes and lowers her eyes. Good.

“Be nice! This is Mandy. She’s new, and I’m sure you remember Tristain, Melissa says gesturing towards her slim British assistant.

“So why are you here? As great as it is to catch up, I was trying to be a degenerate and you’re fucking it all up with the judging.” I say as I light a cigarette and head out to the backyard.

It’s a nice day so I think I’ll swim.

“You have that interview in three hours with CR News. The guy interviewing you is really hot too.”

I strip nude and hear Mandy gasp. I turn around and wink at her before diving in the pool. When I come back up Melissa and Mandy are whisper arguing while tristain picks at his nails.

“Has she never seen a naked woman before? I’m told I’m one of the best, so you’re welcome Mandy.”

“Girl you are out of control.” Tristain chuckles.

Mandy storms outside as Melissa turns to me, hands on hips “what did I say about nudity.”

“We are not in public.”

“Let’s add on that you can’t get nude in front of anyone you just met.”

“There goes my sex life.”

“You’re impossible! We are here to make sure you’re ready, on time and sober. That last little stunt you pulled can’t happen again.”

Of course she’s referring to the award show i went to last week in a see through dress. Considering I’m a Victoria’s Secret model, I thought showing everyone my underwear was ideal, but some of the other companies I model for weren’t as enthusiastic.

“Do you seriously think I’d go on a news program in something see through?”

She raises an eyebrow at me and smirks. “We brought you some beautiful outfits to choose from and Tristain is ready to do your hair and make-up. You just need to relax and —“

“Be you’re good little Barbie.” I roll my eyes but allow them to lead me in my house and get me all ready.

CR news is supposedly a new up and coming show. It’s mainly focused on men I think but I’m not positive. I’ve honestly never watched it. I’ve heard that the interviewer is pretty unpredictable and gorgeous which is intriguing.

We are all loaded in the limo, on our way to the studio when I realize Tristain is a liar...

“Where’s the booze? You said there was hella liquor in here, is there like a trick door or..”

“Baby girl, you’re gonna be sober for this interview. Well. Soberish.”

“I thought you were my boy blue? What happened to us? When did it fall apart?” I tease. I’m not really mad, I get it, but dammit, I really don’t have anything to take the edge off?

We pull up to the studio and my stomach is in knots. I drink for my social anxiety. Although I am supposedly one of the most beautiful women in the world, and I parade around nude like it’s nothing, it’s all overcompensating for being afraid of meeting new people. I know it’s ridiculous, but that doesn’t change how nervous I feel.

I get out and follow everyone inside, where I’m taken to a dressing room. Hair and make up people are in there waiting, but I’m already all ready so they just do a once over and tell me I have an hour till everything starts.

“This is why I’m never on time, let alone early.” I bemoan my predicament.

A cute little girl is there looking at me like I’m Jesus, so I say hi and she begins to tear up.

“Oh my god sweetie! Why are you crying?” I say as I make my way over to her and open my arms for a hug. I hate seeing people cry. “Was someone mean to you?”

“No, I just can’t believe it’s you! I am your biggest fan. I think you’re so beautiful, but all the charity work you do is so important and the media tries to make you out like this hot mess but you just don’t care what anyone thinks of you and that’s so inspiring for so many girls out there!” She says as she falls into my arms, clinging to me like a magnet.

See shit like this is why I need a drink. I can never let my fans down complaining about anxiety. When I first got in the business, one of the party girls took me under her wing and we went out, and I was so nervous I got drunk. Of course it was all captured by the paparazzi and I was forever dubbed a wild child. But somehow I am an inspiration and an expert at giving no fucks, which I do standby. so I just maintain that image, eventhough most of the time I’m terrified. Therefore I’ve been drunk pretty steady since last March. Well not drunk, buzzed. I try not to get drunk cuz then I do the dumbest shit, and a lot of it involves nudity.

“You are the cutest sweetest thing! Thank you! That seriously means a lot! Do you want some pictures or autographs?”

“Oh my gosh! Please?”

“Turn on your Instagram and we will make a story.” I mean I have an hour, might as well. The poor girl looks like she’s gonna faint. “You know what? Hair and make up, you’re here. Do her, so she looks her best and then we’ll make a cute video!”

Hair and make up shrug their shoulders and sit the girl down and get to work.

“I need a drink!” I moan.

“Water, coffee, tea, juice-“ one of the assistants starts rattling off.

“I’ll take juice if you’ve got some vodka.” I tell her, and can literally see her judging me. Yuck!

“I’m sorry but we are a smoke free, alcohol free, drug free facility. We judge sinful vices very harshly here.” She states snarkyly.

I turn around and fix my coldest glare on her, and it doesn’t take her more than a few seconds to excuse herself. Probably gonna go tell on me to my babysitters.

“My big brother probably has some.” The fangirl suggests. “He’s just two doors down on the right.”

“Ooh. Think he’ll take pity on me? What’s his name?”

She looks at me like I’m kidding, but it’s pretty clear by my clueless face, I’m serious.

“He’s Bill Skarsgard. He’s interviewing you. I’ll text him.”

She pulls her phone out and texts him, and almost immediately replies. “He says come to his room real quick.”

“Oh my God! I’m your biggest fan now.” I smile at her and quickly make my way to his door and knock. I didn’t want to be seen going in the room with him, so I wasn’t really thinking about meeting him as much as getting out of the hall. When the door opened, I rushed through and closed it, when I am sll of a sudden all too aware of the best looking motherfucker I have ever seen in my life. I’m at least six foot in these heels and he’s still a considerable amount taller than me. He smells really nice but his god damn face is almost upsetting. He’s got the greenest eyes and sharp angles from the best bone structure like he’s the damn model. His angular features are contrasted by some of the softest looking puffy lips and the cutest nose I’ve ever seen.

Before I realize what I’m doing, I reach up and boop him on the nose “boop.” OH. MY. GOD. What have I done?

He blushes and smiles and oh my fuck he’s got dimples. We just stand there smiling and staring at each other like complete assholes but my mind has been overloaded with all his fucking hotness, so I got nothing.

His phone beeps and snaps us out of our awkward staring contest. “Thank you for being so nice to Valerie. You have no clue how excited she was to meet you.”

I still got nothing. I’m looking at his hands and then back up to his face. He was big pretty hands and I wish I was in them.

“Is belvedere ok?” He asks me holding up a brand new big bottle of vodka.

I nod and watch him walk over to a little bar area and make two drinks with his beautiful big hands. They wrap around the bottle and it almost looks as though it’s not the large size bottle but it is. He puts ice in the glass and fills it half way. He walks confidently over to me, and I feel like my legs are going to give out, but I don’t show it. I’m an expert at faking self assuredness. He hands me the drink and holds it up. “Let’s make a toast to new funny beginnings. Cheers!”

I clink my glass to his and then down all the vodka in one shot. He raises his eyebrows and chuckles, taking my glass and refilling it. He hands it back to me expectantly and I take a polite sip. “Just had to take the edge off.”

“She speaks! I was getting nervous you didn’t know how to be anything but adorable.”

“That’s my job. Your job requires talking.” I want to slap myself. I sound so rude and dumb but he seems to be amused with my reply.

“Valid point. I must say though, I’m surprised. From how the media makes you out to be, I was expecting a hurricane.”

“I guess that makes you a shitty weather man then.” God damn you liquid courage, and bless you. He’s actually blushing.

“I knew it was going to be a hot one.”

“Did you now?”

“Mmhmm.” He says as he lowers his face and looks through lidded eyes at me.

Then he bites his lip and slowly releases the damn thing and for the first time in my life, I think I wanna suck a dick. Don’t get me wrong, ive done that plenty of times, but to be nice. Never have I ever thought “I wanna choke on this guys cock’ until today. I feel my face heating up as he closes the distance between us and puts his hand on my cheek locking his eyes with mine.

A little voice in the back of my head warns me that being this attracted to someone is not great but I ignore it. Fuck it.

“You are so fucking beautiful.” He breathes seductively. He sets down his drink and pulls me close, pressing his body against me. “Now we cant mess up how perfect you look or hair and make up will kill me, but when we are done with that interview, we are coming back in here and it’s gonna be really really wet.”

Gif : @billksarsgard

[lilacjaemin]

daisies

pairing: prince!jeno x gender neutral reader

genre: fluffy angst oh yes (plus lil commentaries hehe)

word count: 4.5k

summary: daisies symbolize true love – each daisy is really two flowers blended together in harmony, the center petals are one flower surrounded by the “rays” of another. they mean purity and innocence, one that swears a loyalty to love and a commitment to a shared secrecy. 

a/n: thank you to jeno for being my biggest muse!! oh also thank you to payton for helping me research flowers for this <3

·     royal prince!jeno can’t wait to rule his people and his beautiful kingdom full of flower fields and forests

·     but he can wait a little longer to get married

·     and one night the royal family throws a dinner party and a ball filled with suitors for their son

·     but jeno can’t take the stuffy atmosphere and the hundreds of girls trying to dance with him

·     so he runs off to his favorite spot in his kingdom

·     these rolling hills covered in daisies

·     it’s this pretty valley that nobody else knows about sometimes he goes there when his royal duties are too much and he needs to get away

·     but when he arrives he stumbles across you laying on the hill stargazing, engulfed in the flowers

·     he had no idea anyone else knew about this place

·     he really doesn’t wanna be around any more people tonight but in the dim moonlight he can make out the features of your face

·     he’s never seen you around the castle, and by what you’re wearing you definitely didn’t just run away from the same ball

·     so he carefully approaches and asks if he can join you

·     you sit up, freaked out that someone found this secret spot of yours

·     the figure is in a white button up and a dark blue suit jacket with gold swirls

·     he looks expensive but his eyes are kind

·     so you say okay

·     when he sits down next to you, he smells of many different expensive perfumes, which you find weird

·     you ask what he’s doing out here because by the looks of his dark suit he probably should be at some ball

·     and he says “yeah i should be.”

·     what?

·     and that’s when you notice the gold coronet resting neatly in his hair

·     ohhhhh he’s the prince

·     you’re sitting on the ground with the prince

·     the future king jeno

·     o k a y

·     suddenly jeno thinks he hears something and he’s paranoid of his parents’ royal guards finding him and this spot so he turns to you like did you hear that??

·     and before you could respond, out of nowhere he grabs you?? and dives into the flowers

·     your hands against his chest preventing you from smacking into him

·     he’s pulled you super close, his breathing rapid and eyes closed

·     you’re a little frozen, still in shock the prince just tackled you

·     he waits, realizing he probably just heard a squirrel or something

·     the ~kdrama~ moment happens where he opens his eyes and finds himself staring into yours

·     time stops for a split second, the wind ruffling the grass and daisies surrounding you two

·     and then he regains his composure and helps you up again

·     “are you okay? im so sorry! oh, that was so weird and creepy i just cant get caught out here.”

·     you blink slowly, the surprise wearing off

·     “yeah im totally fine.”

·     well maybe physically, but your heart?? about to beat out of your chest!!

·     jeno reaches his hand out and brushes a strand out of your face, smoothing out the rest of your disheveled hair

·     you swore fire ignited from his fingertips

·     you have to change the subject before you lose it

·     “so…you said you should be at a ball right now?” you clear your throat and brush yourself off

·     “ah, my family is pressing me to find a suitable partner. lately it’s just been dinner after dinner, dance after dance, i hate it.” he sighs, laying back into the hillside

·     “you hate people trying to get your attention?”

·     “i want to marry once i fall in love, not because they would be a good ruler of the kingdom.”

·     “i see.” you whisper, laying down beside him

·     “ i love my family, i love this kingdom and i can’t wait to rule but i wish that one part of my life could be normal. i tried to have the most normal childhood i could manage. i did everything i could to grow up and feel like everyone else, but nobody else has to have arranged marriages, so why do i?”

·     you stay quiet, soaking his words in, watching the moon as jeno continues to your right

·     “love seems incredible. i just wanna experience it for real. i don’t want someone ive only met a handful of times before our wedding, no matter how extravagant the whole thing is. i’ve tried so many times to explain to my parents that i can rule by myself for the time being and then ill find a partner, but they won’t let me.”

·     you listen to his worries, the whole time not realizing that your hand had made its way to rest on jeno’s arm

·     it’s something you do to comfort others, but he turns his head to look at you and you immediately pull away

·     you start apologizing, saying how it’s just a habit you have, but he stops you

·     “no no it’s okay, it feels nice to have someone really listening to me.” he smiles

·     oh his smile is beautiful, it shines brighter than the moon above

·     “i never get to hang out with other people my age and not have a bunch of royalty stuff looming over my head.”

·     you were just in awe that the prince who has it all is unhappy and you feel so bad and just wanna hug him because honestly he’s so cute

·     you listen while he rants about his duties and how stuck up some of the royal advisors are and how every suitor he meets is in it just for the wealth, they don’t really care about the him as a person

·     he asks what your take on it is and you talk about your views on love

·     you’re saying how you think it’s the most beautiful thing and that you’ve seen it in your parents and you want it so badly, but it always feels like all of the people in town don’t want a serious relationship

·     “i want to meet someone that makes every star look pale in comparison. i come out here to look at the night sky and hope that somewhere, the one i’m meant to be with is looking at it too.”

·     and jeno nods

·     he completely understands

·     “my family says i’m crazy for thinking that way. but i work in a library, im surrounded by incredible stories of romance, how can i not hope for one myself?”

·     he’s fascinated at the fact that you can date normally but don’t because you say there’s no one out there

·     jeno assures you there’s people out there, he has to meet with them constantly, he just never gets along with any of them

·     you talk about royal life into the late hours of the night

·     jeno is just so happy to have someone genuinely interested in his thoughts and feelings

·     he’s giddy, ranting about his plans for the kingdom and his goals for the future

·     you don’t know when you drift off, but you remember hearing his warm voice fade away

·     and you fall asleep on his shoulder

·     jeno doesn’t remember when he drifts off, but he remembers feeling your warmth at his side

·     when he wakes up at sunrise, jeno is like oh i‘m so dead they’re never gonna let me out of the castle ever again !!

·     but he looks at you, sleeping peacefully against him with daisies framing your face

·     he feels his heart do a backflip

·     is this how it’s supposed to feel? there’s not supposed to be a sense of dread pooling in his stomach like there is when a suitor walks in? interesting

·     gently waking you up, he tells you he has to run to get back to the castle

·     but he promises you he’ll do everything he can to come back to this spot to meet you and stargaze again

·     “i’ll be here.” you say sleepily, smiling at his messy hair

·     when he gets home his parents are like oh you are in so much trouble we threw that ball for you and you LEFT?? AND WE SEARCHED ALL OVER AND COULDNT FIND YOU?? WE THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDNAPPED??

·     and jeno is like um. oops? trying to contain his smile when he thinks of you and your soft hand on his arm

·     he gets read the riot act and is told if it happens again there will be serious consequences

·     and jeno never gets in trouble so this is big

·     but he’s willing to take the risk

·     for weeks he sneaks out and runs to the field each and every night

·     finding more reasons to love being in your company than there are stars in the sky

·     one night before dawn broke you stopped playing with the hem of your shirt

·     “i was thinking about what you told me the first night we met.” you say, eyes glued to the ground

·     “i know you’ll find somebody, and not just because you’re a prince. you will find someone who loves you for your heart, not just the riches.”

·     he stares at you, something in his eyes you couldn’t quite pin

·     jeno was glad it was dark, if not you would’ve seen the red dusting on his cheeks

·     “y-you’ll find someone too. i know it.”

·     its quiet for a minute and then very subtly, jeno grabs your hand

·     “is this okay?”

·     “of course it is. now can you tell me about the secret royal garden? i heard its incredible.”

·     you lay on your side and spend the rest of the night finding the stars in his eyes

·     another dinner is scheduled, this time with the family of a neighboring kingdom

·     this family has a daughter the same age as jeno

·     he knows in his gut that his parents want him to be with her

·     but he can’t shake the feeling of your hands in his

·     it’s where they belong

·     nevertheless, he fake smiles through the meal, tensing when she tries to reach for his arm across the table

·     after the disaster of a dinner, jeno sneaks away again

·     you can tell by the look on his face that he needs a hug

·     “i don’t want to be with her.” he breathes into your neck

·     “you’re sure you can’t talk to your parents about this?” you say, running your hand through his dark hair

·     “they don’t listen. i’ve tried, they just won’t listen.”

·     you hold him close, wracking your brain for a solution to this problem

·     but there seems to be none

·     jeno creeps back to the castle after spending the whole night wrapped in your arms

·     but the queen is waiting for him in his chamber when he opens the door

·     he’s banned from leaving the castle without supervision until he gets married

·     he’s never sent out unless it’s with a guard

·     he’s devastated and frustrated because he wants to sneak away to you but someone is always watching

·     he feels like he lost the one person who understood him the most

·     one day he goes into the castle library in an effort to get some peace

·     to his surprise, you are working in the front

·     you hear a gasp and when you look up jeno stands before you

·     “this library? you work in the castle and never told me!?”

·     “no, the town’s library is overstaffed because of the summer, so i took the job opening here. i always waited for you to come in and find out, but i guess you don’t use the library as much as i imagined.” you laugh

·     your heart is beating like crazy seeing him again

·     you bring him to your favorite little poetry corner, out of view of the entrance

·     huddled in amongst the books he takes hold of your hands

·     you can see him visibly relax when he feels your palms against his

·     “im so sorry, i tried so hard to go meet you but they have guards on me at all times. they won’t let me out of their sight.” he looks frantic

·     “jeno, i’ll wait however long it takes to be together. i still go to our spot every night, i still wait for you. i always will.” you reassure him

·     his brows unfurrow and he smiles, pulling you close to his chest

·     his heartbeat is soothing against your cheek and you realize just how much you missed him

·     “oh, i have something for you.” you reach into the last of the shelves, pulling out a thick worn book

·     he watches in confusion as you open to a page in the center

·     “here, i pressed these for you. for the nights when you can’t come visit, just know i’m there.” you show him two dry daisies, careful not to blow them away

·     his face lights up, gently taking the book from you and running a finger over their stems

·     he’s about to thank you when you hear someone call for him from the door

·     he frowns and shuts the book, tucking it under his arm

·     he presses a soft kiss to your forehead before scurrying off, leaving your skin burning and your mind dizzy

·     jeno’s parents are sure the princess from the neighboring kingdom is the one

·     and jeno can feel his stomach drop to his feet when they tell him

·     desperate to get to you, he tricks his guards into getting him something from the other side of the castle

·     he shimmies down his balcony and runs as fast as his legs can take him to the field before they can send search parties out for him

·     he grabs you by your shoulders and frantically tells you that they’re arranging his marriage

·     but it’s not what he wants, he can’t stop thinking about you

·     “jeno.” you whisper, pointing behind him

·     you see lanterns come over the hill and horses trample over the flowers

·     jeno stands in front of you to protect you but guards pull him away

·     he’s yelling at them to stop but they’re angry

·     you feel like you can’t breathe

·     one of the advisors recognizes you from the library and tells you never to come back to the castle

·     you stand and watch with teary eyes as jeno is dragged away and the candles fade into the night

·     a few weeks go by and you get word that the prince is betrothed to marry the princess and you’re absolutely heartbroken

·     you know jeno doesn’t want that

·     and even if it isn’t you that gets to be with him, you still want him to be happy

·     out of a job, you ask a family friend who works as a florist to hire you

·     “of course! we need all the help we can get for this wedding!”

·     oh no

·     your heart breaks even more but your family needs the money

·     you arrive a few days before to set up the decor and pray the the guards from that night don’t recognize you

·     and as much as it hurts, you hope you don’t run into jeno

·     but to your dismay he walks in with the princess and you feel your world collapse

·     you meet his gaze while they check on the ballroom’s set up and you can see the light behind his eyes go dim

·     suddenly he yells “NO! THIS IS ALL WRONG! WE NEED TO HAVE A MEETING TO DISCUSS THE DECOR IMMEDIATELY!”

·     he finds a way to break away from the princess just for a second and whispers to meet him at a different spot tonight

·     he says it’s under the willow tree at the edge of the forest by the stream and you nod

·     “the flower arrangements around the altar are hideous.” he goes back to frowning, trying his hardest not to steal glances at you anymore

·     you are sure there’s no way he could get away again but lo and behold you hear footsteps approaching

·     you run into jeno’s arms, worried this would be the last time you could ever hold him

·     he cups your cheeks, staring into your eyes

·     “we don’t have much time but i promise i’m not marrying her. we’ll figure something out, we’ll run away together, we’ll do something, but i promise i am not marrying her.”

·     he tries to assure you it’ll all be okay and he’s so certain it will be that you begin to believe him

·     but you hear footsteps again

·     lots of them

·     and you and jeno can hardly see because of the tears in both your eyes but you can hear the impending doom

·     there aren’t even words to say to each other, its over

·     it’s all over now

·     he kisses your forehead, then your cheek, letting his lips linger against your skin

·     jeno is ripped from your arms and both of you are taken back to the castle

·     they throw you in the dungeon and tell you that you’re going to have a meeting with the king and queen in the morning

·     you sit on the cold stone floor and cry into your palms, desperately trying to remember how jeno’s lips felt on your face

·     the next day you’re led out in shackles

·     you sit in front of the royals and the queen is furious

·     she’s yelling how dare you try and ruin her kingdom by getting in the way of her son’s relationship, how dare you still try and meet with him after everything that’s happened

·     she’s close to banishing you from the kingdom entirely when jeno runs in, “don’t you understand? im in love with them!” 

·     jeno loves you

·     “would you rather the kingdom be run by a miserable king or a happy one?” he’s crying and you want nothing more than to wipe his tears away but the shackles keep you planted to the ground

·     you’re exhausted and cold and sad and hungry and you have no fight left in you

·     the queen can’t believe what she’s hearing

·     “you would put your future people in danger for this peasant?”

·     “i would rather give up the throne entirely than marry that princess.”

·     “how could you say that? i didn’t raise you this way! i raised you to be a selfless leader!”

·     “how could you expect me to lead these people well if im unhappy?”

·     she pauses momentarily, a softness seeping into her eyes, but it quickly fades when she looks back at you

·     the queen is still fuming

·     “we’re going ahead with the arranged marriage and that’s final, jeno.”

·     she turns to you and tells you after you’re done helping with the wedding you’re never going to see jeno ever again

·     he cries out, running to kneel in front of you and taking your face in his hands

·     “jeno,” you say weakly, “its okay. i hope you can find happiness.” you try to smile for him but everything hurts

·     his mother watches the sad scene unfold in front of her with a tightlipped expression

·     “and i love you too, moonlight.” you whisper

·     he laughs bitterly, tears falling onto your heavy arms

·     he leans forward to kiss you

·     but his guards grab him and take him away before his lips reach yours

·     he yells your name all the way down the hall, kicking and thrashing to try and break free

·     you hang your head in sadness and feel a sob wrack through your body

·     its over

·     the day of the wedding arrives and you solemnly finish the bouquet for the bride

·     you fill it with orange mock flowers (they represent deceit) quickly hiding the daisies they had brought for it instead

·     you try to find someone to deliver it to her but everyone is bustling around trying to add the final touches

·     you trudge to her chamber and knock, hoping to place the flowers down and leave as soon as possible

·     but she invites you inside and you dig your nails in your palms to keep it together

·     she’s pretty, but from what jeno has told you about her the only thing she cares about is power

·     “so i heard you’re the one who tried to break us up.” she says through an unnerving smile

·     you stay silent

·     “its such a shame really. jeno is really torn up over you. he’s too sad to think straight. he sits in bed with this old poetry book, but he never turns the page. i think he’s gone crazy, he doesn’t even speak! but i won’t need him for much longer. once i’m in line for the throne i won’t even need to look at him.” she twirls her finger around the center of the bouquet

·     “and when i’m queen, you’ll be banished. it’s a win win!” she laughs, brushing past you to leave, “oh, and do stay for the wedding. i wanna make sure you see this.” you can hear the venom laced in her words

·     your hands are numb, four dark crescents in each palm

·     jeno stands at the altar in his dark blue suit, the same from the night you met him

·     he’s pale, rings of purple under his eyes, his hands in fists, a daisy in his pocket, you can tell he’s biting his cheek

·     you stand behind the tall vase at the back of the ballroom, peeking through the flowers

·     the music begins and in walks the princess, and jeno has never looked unhappier in his life

·     he’s barely holding her hands, nothing like the way he held yours

·     the priest asks if he takes this woman to be his lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as they both shall live

·     you hold your breath

·     it’s silent

·     the princess is smiling, but if looks could kill jeno would’ve been struck down immediately

·     “jeno?”

·     silence

·     a tear rolls down his face and you can see his body visibly shake

·     “no.” he says as firmly as he can

·     the crowd gasps

·     he drops her hands and begins to walk off when the king comes up next to him

·     “you better get back up there right now and finish this.”

·     “no.”

·     “what did you just say?”

·     “i said no, i’m saying no, i’ve been saying no. ever since i was little i’ve thought about what it would be like when i fell in love for the first time. i’d see the way you looked at mom and i thought i can’t wait for the day where i love someone so much i look at them the same way. and funny enough i did find that love. i fell in love in a field of flowers with someone who is more beautiful inside and out than the moon and all the stars combined. i finally found the prettiest flower of them all and i won’t stop fighting for them.”

·     he pauses and turns to look at his dad

·     “i know im going against your word, but you always told me a good king was one who finds strength in those around him, one who grows and rules to the best of his ability, and i’m the strongest when i’m with them, dad.”

·     he turns to the crowd, desperation dripping off his words

·     “i want to be a ruler you’re all proud of, but what kind of king would i be if i didn’t fight for what i want most?”

·     you didn’t realize you were crying until your tears ran down your neck

·     the queen stands up and you fear the worst for both you and jeno

·     “you really love them? you love them this much?”

·     “mother, i’ve always wanted true love. you know that. and i can’t see myself with anyone else.”

·     the princess is throwing daggers with her eyes behind them

·     the queen pauses for a moment and without turning around she says “come up here.”

·     you hesitantly walk up the aisle in your raggedy work clothes, your heartbeat pounding between your ears at all the eyes on you

·     jeno gasps “you were still here?”

·     “in no way are you ready to become royalty let alone a ruler, but i’ve never seen jeno stand up to us like this before, and i must admit it hurt my heart to not be able to give him the true love he wished for all these years. it’s not that i didn’t want him to experience it, i just wanted him to have the best partner for ruling over his people. but i think i caused more harm than good in doing so. you seem to really love him, and that’s all a mother could ever want for her child. if you promise to take all of the classes and lessons you need and work extremely hard to learn about this kingdom and what’s best for it, i’ll agree to you dating him. if you meet my husband’s and my approval, then maybe we can discuss marriage.”

·     “what!? absolutely not!” the princess stomps her foot “i’m supposed to be queen!”

·     “you never cared about my son anyway. get in your carriage and go back to your kingdom.” the king hisses

·     she throws her bouquet to the ground and storms out

·     both you and jeno are speechless, silent tears rolling down your faces

·     you thank the queen endlessly, promising to do whatever it takes

·     you cling on to him, trying not to collapse to the floor

·     “i almost lost you.” you say into the fabric of his suit

·     “never.” he mumbles into your hair

·     you walk hand in hand, fingers intertwined, back to your field

·     you lay down in the flowers and never let go of each other

·     tears wiped away with kisses

·     fingertips tracing the shape of your mouth

·     as the stars begin to poke out of the sky jeno connects your lips

·     it isn’t until the sun peeks up over the hill that he pulls away

·     and a year to the day you first met the prince in the valley, you stand in the same place, amongst the same daisies, under the same stars, reciting vows to each other’s teary eyes