#love colm wilkinson so goddamned much

[shitpostingfromthebarricade]

The long-awaited and much-anticipated Drunk Les Mis summary

(This is the second time I've had to restart because people just really want to talk with me on WhatsApp immediately Right Now)

(dem horns holy shit, How dare Davies intentionally deny this score????)

We have Everyman in prison (his name is literally the blandest name Huge-hoe could summon--anyway, normal dude trying to do good) for a petty crime

The Cop has a hard-on for following laws no matter how silly and minor

(so Everyman and Cop obv don't get along in the traditional sense)

(seriously this score is so fucking good, Davies Why)

So being out of prison doesn't treat Everyman so well

Colm Wilkison The Bishop is actual perfection (I've gotten this far in the FMA translation, he is as close to perfection as The Hoe could write Is2G)

Anyway Everyman tries to steal some silverware, but Bishop pulls a fast one on everyone and gives Everyman even more silver so he can get a clean start

Everyman decides to make the most of his Second Chance because Damn, Bishop is just startling Good; parole papers are torn, it's A Thing

So eight years later, Everyman is mayor of a town and owns a factory that a chick named Fantine works at

Fantine has a secret kid but won't give in to sexual harassment (not from Everyman), so she's fired

Which is real bad for her because Fantine basically gives her whole life away for this lil' baby tucked away Elsewhere (Montfermeil)

Everyman discovers this, feels bad about, it, and promises to care for Metaphor for Hope of the Future

Everyman earns his livelihood for the next Many Years by saving this dude from a carriage which simultaneously totally exposes his secret identity (Stronk Man™) to Cop--this includes consciously allowing Cop to know who he is

(in the novel he gets arrested in the process and has to break out and waits for a year before getting the kid but w/e)

But yeah, in the meantime Cop catches Everyman out, and Everyman escapes to rescue Metaphor for Hope of Future from Metaphor for Everything Bad Ever but loses his position as mayor in addition to the right for any person outside of the church to know them, I guess

So Everyman and Metaphor for Hope of the Future are living in Paris 9 years later alongside Metaphor for Everything Bad Ever and Cop

There's a lot of characters representative of Revolution (Greatest Characters Ever™) who we won't get into because they're all slated to die and I don't want you getting emotionally attached like the rest of the Les Mis community

Metaphor for Hope of Future and Metaphor for Something I can't Concisely Determine fall in love. W/e, heteros

There's multiple songs dedicated to revolution and Greatest Characters Ever™, but plotwise technically they're not all that significant unless you look at historical content and symbolism and whatnot (sorry Baes, I still love you)

So Greatest Characters Ever™ die but Metaphor for for Something I Can't Concisely Determine survives by Everyman's hand (also Spirit of the Revolution and Symbol of The People die hand-in-hand) despite that Cop tries to stand in the way of All Of This

(no really, Greatest Characters Ever™ have more symbolic importance, but I don't have nearly the bulletpoints to get into those nuances) (also drunk)

Cop starts questioning everything he stands for in the face of Greatest Characters Ever™'s cause/sacrifice and Everyman having the opportunity to kill Cop but not

(holy shit the score is so good???) (Why would anyone brag about abandoning this excellence??????)

PARISIAN SEWERS

Cop has the ultimate chance to finally take Everyman in/kill him but finds that he cannot, so he handles his emotions like anyone would and literally kills himself

(excessive bonecracking sound effects are included so you know there's no sequel where he somehow survived and comes back)

Everyman doesn't know this though and is worried about Metaphor for Hope of the Future, so he tells Metaphor for Something I Can't Concisely Determine that he's leaving and not to follow him or tell MftHotF

MfSICCD obv caves immediately, and after he discovers that Everyman saved him at the barricade he and MftHotF track Everyman down to where he's trying to die in peace in a church

So MftHotF and MfSICCD are the only survivors, but everyone else (including Cop because he had a change of heart and we like him now--this is my HC, leave me alone) is at The Big Barricade in the Sky and living peacefully and waving flags

THE END.

[cosmicangst]

some thoughts after finally watching the les mis staged concert (2019)

bradley jaden as enjolras w his fuckboy manbun is so hot and for what. wish i could see his take on javert. i have a feeling he’d kill it

michael ball truly trying his all but missing every target so he’s just giving nothing lmao net zero javert

alfie boe has always been a good but generally unmemorable valjean for me. idk why they couldn’t give this opportunity to another actor when alfie already had his in the 2010 concert.

which is doubly tragic for me bc javert and valjean are so lukewarm together here they make up the least interesting part of the show. during the confrontation they do have chemistry but it’s the chemistry of like a guy fighting w an irs agent over the phone. like where’s the repressed mania, wheres the mythic gravitas, where’s the years long psychosexual obsession

speaking of homoeroticism i like bradley’s take of touching grantaire’s arm and shoulder during his drink w me solo. sometimes enjolras actors will just frown in concern but keep their distance which may be more in character but i like this more intimate take bc it shows that enjolras does feel affectionate over his friends

also somewhat related remember when george blagden read the brick and immediately picked up on grantaire’s feelings for enjolras and aaron tveit was more focused on the friendship between enjolras and marius? and the sec he tried to talk to aaron about the exr subtext they were interrupted and george kept his silence and formed his whole performance around that idea? i think about that every goddamn day of my life

alfie sings bring him home beautifully but every time i watch it performed i think of that obsessed video seth rudetsky did with adam jacobs where they measured each valjean actor on how much saliva they inadvertently spit on him while singing that song

the edited shots of the barricade boys getting killed is so funny bc it’s slowed down and interspersed with this awful windows movie maker white flash and maybe in person it’s more organic as they walk down to the “afterlife” w the actual stage lighting but this recording makes it so goofy it absolutely kills the vibe

rob houchen gives the best overall marius performance that ive seen. but i’ve watched this show live in three separate productions and none of them (nor rob) has yet to top eddie redmayne for empty chairs and empty tables

all the female performances were lovely. usually neutral to chf as an actor but her i dreamed a dream was moving. she also has one of those eternally youthful faces where it’s hard to pin down her age (maybe bc i just heavily associate her with veronica) so that added a tragic undertone to it

anyway 1995 is still the best recorded concert even though i don’t like colm wilkinson anymore but i will tolerate his presence simply for philip quast. this was a passable concert but definitely not the cast album i would suggest to someone who’s never listened before