#he's petty

[bet-on-me-13]

Danny has to work off his Sentence

So! Danny isn't the King of the Infinite Realms. And he is not above the Law.

Sure, he has many friends in high places, and he did defeat the King in single combat, but that doesn't mean he is above the Law in the way The King would be.

And unfortunately for him, Walkers Laws do actually have some backing.

Not all of them. Some are just laws he placed over his Lair and surrounding Territory, which he is really nitpicky about, but the Big ones he touts are the Laws of the entire Zone set by the First King. Don't Tresspass on Lairs without an official challenge, don't End a Realms Being without permission, Don't bring Humans into the Zone without permission, etc.

And Danny has broken quite a few of them, meaning Walker is entirely in his rights to put him away for a few Thousand Years. Thankfully, there is an alternative.

Since Danny wasn't wanted for any major crimes, Walker offered a different path for him. Danny was still one of the Strongest Ghosts in the Zone, and as the Portal was technically his Grave he had full authority to use it however he liked, so if he ran a couple of errands for Walker, he could consider his Sentence served.

All he has to do was round up a few of the Trouble Makers that had escaped his grasp by virtue of being in the Living Realm, and he would forgive his previous crimes.

So, Danny took him up on the offer. It was better than being constantly hounded by Walkers Guards. The fact that he could beat them easily was moot, it was extremely annoying and he wanted it to stop.

So he was given his First list of targets, and went on his way.

Ra's "The Demons Head" Al Ghul, for Tresspassing on Ghost Zone Waste Dumping Grounds

Solomon Grundy, for continued use of copyrighted poem, requested by copyright holder post mortem

Vandal Savage, for failure to notify the proper authorities about his absence on the day of his intended death

Jack "The Joker" Napier, Special Request by 1000+ Ghosts for purposes of Vengeance, Torture, and general Catharsis.

...interesting list...maybe he should have this through a bit more...

[crazydaymycrazyway]

The crown prince of Xianle Xie Lian, a literal seventeen year old, the first time he ascended: I'm learning, I'm young and I have amazing friends

Jun Wu, a 2000+ super senior citizen: *smiles*

Bai Wuxiang, internally: *in a mocking tone* I'm learning, I'm young amd I have amazing friends. WELL OBVIOUSLY THAT AIN'T GONNA BE HELPING YOU! I WAS RAISED BY WOLVES BITCH, BETRAYED BY THE PEOPLE WHO I TRUSTED, LOST MY GODHOOD, DIGNITY AND LIFE, GOT TUMORS ON MY FACE, KILLED AND STOMPED OVER THE CORPSES OF THE GODS WHO DARED BETRAY ME! I WAS BETRAYED AND I BETRAYED AND I'M WASHED ALL OVER BY SINS AND I'M STILL SURVIVING WITH MY SHIT TOGETHER ON TOP OF ALL! AND YOU THINK YOU CAN WALK AWAY UNSCATHED?! BE ALL PURE?! WATCH ME BITCH!! LETS SEE IF YOU CAN FOLLOW YOUR SHITTY "BODY IN ABYSS HEART IN PARADISE"!!!

[dimensionbled]

Did Stanford help make those holes bigger?

"NO, BUT I MADE BOTH OF YOUR MOM'S HOLES MASSIVE."

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

Macaque spent the whole season Big-Damn-Hero-ing and was NOT happy about it xD

[vamprisms]

lesbians enjoy pathetic male characters because we have an instinctive prey drive

[lazylittledragon]

at the friday panel andrew wincott said raphael and astarion should go on holiday together and i can’t stop thinking about it

[lilislegacy]

percy: *in olympus after accidentally creating a natural disaster and causing mass destruction*

zeus, glaring at poseidon: well? don’t you have something to say to your dear son, brother?

poseidon: er, right. look perseus, what you did was reckless, destructive, and incredibly melodramatic.

percy: *looks down*

poseidon: however, it was also wrong.

[egophiliac]

everyone out of the way, this is the only thing I'm going to be thinking about from now on.

(okay, there is one more thing)

[maxiemumdamage]

Alastor being all “Charlie is like a daughter to me!” when in fact their relationship is usually polite antagonism at best is so damn funny to me. Like he never even really believed in Charlie’s ambitions, he was at the Hotel for laughs, but then an opportunity falls into his lap to taunt Lucifer in emotionally damaging ways and get away with it and he ran.

[oifaaa]

Annabeth is so much stronger then me I'm just saying if my mum got pissed and punished me for something my field trip partner did after i was nothing but the perfect child for the last 5 years meanwhile the guy who actually did the thing got nothing but praise from his dad yeah no Luke wouldn't even have time to ask me if I wanted to fight against the gods I'd already be starting my own revolution

[cup-o-stars]

Happy B-Day to the Corasante!! ❤🕯🎂🕯❤

(Featuring way too many drawings)

[chiptrillino-art]

(ID in ALT text)

Something we don't consider enough in Howl!AU zukka. Is Zuko harassing the old man sokka. but he does so with young sokka as well hm...

idk how to post these but crused blond zuko and sokka aged compared to his youthful look side by side

(ID in ALT text) i tried with blond zuko, but i really can't commit to that sorry

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC "Pick Me Up"

The stream goes live on the first day of the school year. It's the usual song and dance - mad laughing, threats, poor jokes, terror, and about thirty kids huddled together in a classroom behind Joker's back. Tim recognizes it as one of the Gotham Academy classrooms. Dick can't imagine the horror those kids' parents must be feeling right now. Jason jokes about middle school traumatic experiences. Damian is feeling very justified for skipping classes today.

Bruce, all suited up in his Batman garb, is making his way to the Academy as fast as he possibly can. Those are kids.

Gotham is once again anxiously kept on the edge of their seats, watching as Joker decides to interview the kids on their learning experience so far. Something about leaving a good first impression on the new generation or some other bullshit. Most kids stutter over their words - it's true that Gothamites are way more composed when facing life-threatening events, but those kids are only fourteen or fifteen for the most part. They are not old enough to keep their cool in the face of a murder clown.

That is, until Joker points his camera at one of the girls. Black hair in a high ponytail, blue eyes without a trace of fear, a slightly displeased, even bored expression on her face. She looks straight into the camera, not even waiting for the laughing madman to finish his question, and deadpans:

"I don't think I like school. Pick me up, please."

Joker sputters.

"Not so scared, I see," he sneers, and, in the next moment, a comically large gun painted in purples and greens is pointed to the girl's forehead, "How about now?"

The girl scrunches her nose and makes a so-so gesture.

"It's kinda meh," she admits, "Like, yeah, points for style, but you know, size doesn't matter. It's all in the technique."

Dick snorts over the comms. It's a bad time for laughing, sure, but the phrase caught him off-guard. This is not what you'd expect to hear from a teen, and definitely not something you'd expect anyone to say to the Joker. Jason's comms are muted, but Barbara knows he also laughed a little.

"Technique, you say?" Joker hisses, pressing the gun closer to the girl's head, and she winces, leaning away from it, almost as if she is disgusted by the touch.

"Yeah, I mean, guns are not that scary anyway. What are you gonna do with them, blast my brains all over the floor? Been there, done that," the girl shrugs, "Kinda nasty, but overall, it's just like slime, only sticky." She pauses and looks to the side, seemingly lost in thought, "Huh, maybe we should have added Borax to it. Or was it baking soda?.."

"Listen here, you little brat," Joker's fingers catch the girl's chin, and his voice becomes sickeningly menacing. Bruce is almost there, just two more minutes. Tim is already grappling onto the wall.

But none of them get to finish.

"Put your dirty fingers away from my sister," a low, cold, and even in a way that speaks of barely contained fury, voice comes from out of the screen.

The camera spins, like whoever is holding it turned really fast, and everyone watching the stream sees a fairly normal guy standing by the window - a turtleneck and ripped jeans, same black hair as the girl, same blue eyes... Wait, they are not blue.

And that's not a guy.

The camera falls down to the floor, and there are a lot of panicked screams coming from the broadcast now, but none of them sound like children's voices. It's the screams of adults, of grown-ass men, and later, someone even claimed they heard Joker's scream among them, too. The picture on camera glitches a few times, and the angle is awkward, but everyone still gets to see how shadows in the room morph into eyes, wide open and green, and how the darkness grows sharp teeth, countless grinning mouths that don't belong to any faces.

Screams turn into gargling and then to quiet whispers, filling the ears of all those listening with countless words in languages they don't know.

Red Robin turns off the recording and looks to that same guy from the levestream, sitting across him on the couch. The guy - Daniel, or Danny, as he introduced himself - looks him in the eyes and raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, and?"

"How did you do it?" Tim asks for the third time this evening. Danny blinks.

"Did what?" He asks, completely incomprehending. Tim groans. He's been trying to get his answers, any answers at this point, from the guy for thirty fucking minutes already. So far, he's got nothing. Danny, whoever the fuck he is, proves to be the most annoying human being on Earth.

"Seven people in a coma, including Joker himself, with no physical injuries and none of the children remember a thing! How?!" He demands, and a girl's face peeks from around the corner:

"I remember!"

Tim snaps his head at her, "What do you remember?"

The girl pauses, blinks, and looks to Danny. Then shrugs, "My brother picked me up from school."

Tim drops his head down and breathes out in frustration. He can't force the information out of civilians, he is a vigilante, not a mafia.

"Would it make you feel better if I promise not to do it again?" Danny asks, and his voice is way too innocent for Tim to believe him. He raises his head to look the guy in his shameless, amused eyes.

"I hate you."

"Thanks," Danny grins.

[iamlostandinneedofcoffee]

Jason is just making fun of Phantom over the phone outside of a JL meeting in the watch tower. He keeps calling him out and taking the piss, saying Phantom won’t do shit cause the JL are there.

The entire League are just staring at each other and Batman silently and awkwardly and they hear Red Hood mock someone saying “shove that in your grave, oh wait you didn’t get one” and losing it.

Eventually Red Hood comes back in still crying from laughter under his hood after that 40 minute call. Just as the JL are about to restart they just hear a banging from the space window(?!)

Everyone turns to see a feral looking 14-15 years cussing up a storm so bad even Constantine flinches(how can they hear someone talking when they are in space how are they just there?!?).

Only to hear Red Hood go “Oh Shit” and dead sprint out the room as the teen phases through the window and chases after him saying something about a Creep Bat (Flash asks if he missed another Bat Kid, Batman refuses.)

[phantomrose96]

The realest part of the Barbie Movie was when Barbie was like "okay but what if this hurts his feelings? what if this makes him sad? :(" after Ken stole her house, stole her car, and stole her agency, because as a woman you still have to second guess everything you do on the assessment of whether it might hurt a man's feelings.

And then that apprehension was proven right one million times over by the entire Conservative Internet Manosphere pissing and shitting and screaming themselves hoarse over Barbie daring to hurt a man's feelings.

[ravelqueen]

Lmao OMFG Martin. He's now confirmed to have been jealous of

- (possibly lesbian?) Cop for daring to have private conversations with Jon

- literal embodiment of death Jon has only metaphorically met in a coma-dream

- lady he talked to for half an hour, once

Truly he is the "you know other people" meme