#he's not really evil btw just. confused and stressed all the time

[circus-k]

if grim!danny has no fans i'm DEAD

[indigos-stardust]

I'm super curious about the fruit bat vampire WIP.

Sorry I took like bajillion years- I was going chronological order, and then some stuff happened irl :') and I might've made an artworks for it

HOWEVER, you chose a very nice (and extremely self indulgent) WIP even though its.. underdeveloped to say the least

Basically there was a dangerous witch/poe causing shenanigans and the colors were sent out to deal with it. The Poe or whatever definitely was setting up curses, although they don't know what the curses were intended to be.

During their battle with him, he ended up shooting Vio, even though Vio swung it back with the four swords (I mean it is a light magic sword). After the battle though, Vio just... didn't seem cursed at all. He was fine, so they all assumed that the curse didn't hit Vio at all.

But then the side effects started. Around the same time there were investigations on what the poe had actually been up to. Which was starting to look like some sort of evil transformation ritual. (the poe was probably trying to convert life force to magic, but they don't know that.)

Meanwhile, Vios become "ill" and he's sent to the castle infirmary, unable to eat foods (not even bread??), constant headaches from sounds and smells, looking pale, has a horrendous sleeping schedule, and- tiny claws and teeth. Confusion and... loss of speech? They realize this isn't a normal illness. There's a tainted magic in his blood. Slowly, yet surely infecting and warping him.

He's starving.

They put some dots together and well- Yeah he's like just becoming a straight up vampire isn't he?

And then let's just say within the next 24 hours not only has vio hissed and scratched a guard in the face, but he's also escaped and become. :) let us just say it like it is, "freaky as hell"

Unfortunately I do not have a more detailed artworks of that, the best I have is this:

but I feel like it gives the vibes off appropriately.

hes just acting feral, hiding in the rafters n etc 💀 Yeah its kinda hard to hide the fact that your brother is cursed as hell and might want to eat people when he's just climbing the walls and acting feral.

its ok that he's a lil ugly, he's still cute, like bats are yk?

they tried to "reason" with him and get him to follow them so they could try to undo the magic but the conversation went something like:

"heyyyy viooooooooo"

"..."

"wooowwww you.. made a freaky nest up there! thats- thats cool- um, but I'm SURE YOUD LOVE SOME BLANKETS AND SMALL ANIMALS (and not people) TO EAT RIGHT??"

"..."

*waves blood packet of animal blood from the kitchen*

"psst psst psst"

vio: *screeching and scampering, tries to 'lunge' on them but then falls down a flight of stairs and disappears*

"well. that didn't go to plan . - . o- o y-y"

XD, anyways some knights up finding THE FERAL VAMPIRE??? and they're like we're gonna kill it!!! and then the colors have to explain that they cant because THATS VIO

and well, to say they get some... divided responses... he might jump red at one point but well...

the truth of everything is that the poe was cursing people into animals, as a way to feast off of their misery. He was trying to turn vio into a bat (the bat being a fruit bat btw) but it only really hit him half way. So now he's taken on physical and mental traits of a bat without a full transformation.

theres a point where he jumps red who, earlier in the day, had spilled juice on himself (lil guy COULD NOT reach the highest shelf and it spilled on his head lol, he was in the kitchen stress baking because they forced him to rest)

They do eventually manage to figure it out (or Zelda does, she realizes that his behaviours are just like Jeremy's... If your'e confused, everyone else was too, she had to explain that when she was trapped under Vaati and Ganon and just fighting for her sanity because of the dark magic n etc, she became friends with a bat that lived there... and named him Jeremy. She is so sane and not effected by her time there, she was totally not shown horribly images of her kingdom falling and being manipulated and etc....)

Anyways there's also a thin where he experienced torpor (mini hibernation) once things chill the hell down lol, but the colors think he dead 0-0, this has spent too long in my drafts so I'm just gonna post it sorry for being 7 decades late

[roseate-felidae]

"Cats eat their dead owners"...

Maybe, but your dog is statistically more likely than your cat!

Just watched Beetlejuice Beetlejuice in cinemas (loved it btw) and saw a joke on "Cats eat their owners" in there. In the after life waiting room, a lady was eaten by her cats with said cats still chowing down.

Aforementioned cat lady that is eaten by cats in the film Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice 2).

That phrase is usually used by cat haters to justify their belief that cats are "inferior" pets to dogs or "evil". The idea that they are so unloyal as to see you as food, instead of family, given the first opportunity.

This phrase has some truth in it. Not the idea of cats not loving owners. But that most species of carnivore (and some documentation of a bird and a hamster) have the potential to eat/chew their deceased owners in desperation or confusion. This is not cat exclusive.

But statistics on real life cases of cadavers found chewed on by their pets actually show dogs do this far more often than cats. It's suspected not to be due to starvation either (some having access to their regular food) but stress at the owners passing in both animals.

Here is one article on this topic:

Sadly this is a premium link.

I used 12ft.IO to see it for free.

Mine had a text overlay mistake that I fixed by copy and pasting the text into a word processor.

Some interesting quotes from the article:

Joseph Prahlow, a medical examiner in Michigan, sees evidence of pet predation during an autopsy “at least a couple times a year,” he said, and usually dogs—not cats—are the culprits.

- Joseph Prahlow, medical examiner, quoted in the National Geographic, "Would your dog eat you if you died? Get the facts." Article By Erika Engelhaupt

When it does happen, cats generally don’t cause as much damage as dogs do. They tend to go for the face, especially soft parts such as the nose and lips, says forensic anthropologist Carolyn Rando of University College London.

“It doesn’t surprise me, as a cat owner,” she says. “If you’re sleeping, they tend to swat your face to wake you up.” So a cat might start out trying to “wake up” a dead owner, and then begin to bite when that doesn’t work.

Instead, most documented scavenging of human remains involves dogs.

- from the National Geographic, "Would your dog eat you if you died? Get the facts." Article By Erika Engelhaupt

One possible explanation for such behavior is that a pet will try to help an unconscious owner first by licking or nudging,” Rothschild writes in his report, “but when this fails to produce any results, the behavior of the animal can become more frantic and in a state of panic, can lead to biting.”

From biting, it’s an easy jump to eating, Rando says. “So it’s not necessarily that the dog wants to eat, but eating gets stimulated when they taste blood.”

- Markus Rothschild, forensic examiner, and answered by forensic anthropologist Carolyn Rando of University College London. Both quoted in the National Geographic, "Would your dog eat you if you died? Get the facts." Article By Erika Engelhaupt

Overall, the film gag was just that, a gag. But many people do believe cats would eat them when they die. And using that as a "gotcha" "Cats are inferior to dogs" against cat lovers.

Cats aren't for everybody, but treating them like their some unfeeling psychos who don't care about their owners is unreasonable. They are animals incapable of morality for a start and have been documented to actually care about their owners many times. My cat Zoe, is purring in my lap for her petting as I type this.

You never really hear someone say it about dogs (despite the higher likelihood). So why mention cats?

Ironically, it's almost always pure dog who act like cats are "evil" or "inferior". Many cat owners don't think to that degree of negatively about dogs (if at all).

Bonus shitty picture of Zoe in my lap as I type this on my phone.

[sxftkxssxs]

How do you think the main 6 would react if MC was related to one of the courtiers (sibling or child of) and they still had a relatively good relationship with them, like hanging out over tea or freindly bickering ect. Bonus if its valdemar cause they're probably the scariest out of all of them xx

//I love your HCs BTW xx

I just went ahead and used Vlademar! If you do want versions with the others then I'll gladly do that! I'm glad you like my writing <3

M6 with a Mc who’s a sibling of one of the courtiers

Asra

...You're actually related???

Wonderful, amazing, love of his life, related to Vlademar??

He's filled with a mix of disgust, surprise, and confusion.

Why that one? Out of all of them he despises Vlademar the most.

He does try to not fight or be salty towards him at least, which is only slightly successful.

If Asra runs in on you two catching up over tea he'll be absolutely flabbergasted. Vlademar?? Crazy experiment doctor chatting over tea?

He'll always come with you when you go to see your sibling, and in doing that he learns a lot about the both of you and your relationship.

Julian

downright terrified 

you’re?? The sibling of Vlademar?? 

he’s spiraling, and there’s a 80% chance he will faint 

he’s always been intimidated by Vlademar even before he met you, and now it’s even worse

Julian will be sweating buckets around them. No questions asked.

It’s very weird seeing you banter with them, though. He never thought he’d see the Vlademar so relaxed and having a good relationship with someone.

Vlademar has threatened Julian more than once just for existing around you, and then tries to act like he was joking when you come around.

Nadia

You have to be kidding.

You're related to the craziest of the courtiers? Why couldn't it have been Vulta!?

She's stressing, growing metaphorical (and possibly literal) gray hairs.

As long as you both won't be a thorn in her side, (and you don't turn up in a ditch somewhere), she doesn't mind you two having time together in the palace.

She finds it incredibly awkward when she runs in on you two having some friendly bickering. This is still the same Vlademar right? You didn't replace him with someone on the streets of Vesuvia?

Nadia will try to spend some time with the both of you together, but she usually sits out on your little get togethers.

Muriel

He's not very pleased with this information

Vlademar was literally a follower of the devil??? And now you're fighting them over if a pastry tastes good??

Muriel would definitely hold some resentment. If you really do want them to get along he'll try his best.

Inanna in turn, also despises Vlademar. She'll never stay in a room alone with them.

He doesn't really like spending time with your sibling, they unnerve him.

Inanna will accompany you if she has to, especially if it'll ease Muriel's worry.

Portia

She's shocked

Portia is more easily introduced to them as your sibling, but she definitely holds a grudge against how her brother was treated during the plague and how cruel Vlademar can be

She doesn’t often hang out with the two of you together, but if you ask her to she will!

She learned how to fake pleasantries from working at the palace, and she puts them to use here

Pepi sits in your lap, making you look like an evil villain.

Lucio

again, why that one?

He never really liked Vlademar (or any of the courtiers)

You just had to be related to one of his past (Demonic?) "friends" didn't you?

He doesn't like being near Vlademar at all. Lucio will completely leave you two to be by yourselves.

Melchior likes to stay with you though, and will definitely growl if you two start bickering too harshly

Mercedes is with Lucio, screw hanging out with Vlademar!

[chippedaxe]

yessss for karl?! omg yess please pleas please can you write a dom step sis! reader ruining innocent stepbro! karl!!

like she teases him and he just isn’t experienced at all and she just fucking destroys him, wanking him until the sensitive little bunny is crying and begging to stop from overstimulation

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Title: Silly Boy

Warnings: !TW: STEPCEST!, NSFW (Minors DNI), cursing, corruption ig, blackmail, degrading, teasing, humiliation, penis degrading, small penis, overstimulation

Pronouns: She/her Afab

Synopsis: The reader dominates Karl and knocks him down a peg.

Word count: 2k

Note: If this type of content offends you in any way then please just ignore it, I have tons of other content on my page that isn't stepcest content and you're able to blockout any stepcest content by blocking the 'tw sepcest' or 'stepcest cw' tag <3

- This prolly isn't what u wanted but I thought of this and wanted to write it! also this hasn't been proofread and it hasn't been edited at all!

*Btw Veruca Salt is a spoiled kid that gets everything she wants, from Charlie and the chocolate factory.

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Your eyes glared down at the younger boy, towering over him to show dominance "S-sis, what're you doing?" Karl asked "Trying to scare you, is it working?" you leaned down and kept eye contact with the stammering boy "u-um not really.." he stuttered out "then why're you stuttering over your words? You're obviously intimidated." you placed your hands on your hips.

"Well why're you trying to intimidate me? I'm just trying to read this book!" he groaned "Because someone has to knock you down a peg, you think just because you're younger that you can get everything you want? Well not if I can help it!" you were furious by the boy.

"What're you on about? What've I done to you?" Karl asked worriedly "You've been asking for a whole lot this week, veruca salt!" you threw your arms in the air and started pacing around him and his chair "What? Like what?" Karl was utterly confused "You've been asking for non-stop rides to your friends houses, and you've been leaving your laundry around for mother to do!" you cross your arms.

"You're overreacting!" Karl complained "Oh I'm not done! You've also been taking money from mom's purse!" you called him out "What- how did you know about that??" Karl immediately became tense "Oh you look so stressed dear brother, just relax- don't worry... I'm not gonna tell her-" Karl sighed in relief "Oh thank god" and got cut off by you finishing your sentence "-If you promise to be a good brother and listen to what your stepsister says!" you finished.

"WHAT? No way! I'm telling mom and dad!" He began to stand up but you pushed him back down "Oh no no no, you're gonna tell them what? That you stole the $200 that mom presumed was stolen by a thief? You gonna explain that to her after she already called authorities and had someone sent to jail?" you spat venom at him.

"You're evil!" Karl shouted "Me? Evil? I'm not the thief here" you grinned mischievously "Although I could be- if you don't wanna have to do everything I say then just give me something precious you own" you held your hand out expectantly "What am I supposed to give you? My soul?" Karl questioned "If you can bare to part with it then yes" you gave a mean smile in response to his sarcasm.

"I have literally nothing!" Karl exclaimed "You have your phone" you suggested "Dad would kill me if he found out I'd given it away!" He shouted "he'd kill you if he found out about that money too" you reminded him "I- I could give you... I'll let you date one of my friends!" Karl smiled nervously as he hoped you'd agree "What friends? You're a nerd, no one would want to be friends with you" snickered.

"S-Sapnap! He's strong, he loves animals, he has big muscles!" Karl said "The brute with dark hair? He's cute but not my type" you yawned "U-m.. Quackity?" a bead of sweat dropped down his face "He's super cool, really funny!" Karl was starting to worry as he was already running out of friends to pair you with "No.. My type is nerdy boys that I can dominate, ones that get nervous a lot and stutter over their sentences" you hinted.

"Oh- like Wilbur? I'm not really his friend but I can try something!!" Karl wasn't getting the hint "No, I was thinking more specifically towards someone like you." you finally told him "M-me? But I'm your brother!" Karl was in disbelief "Step-brother. And I don't really like you, I just think that you're pitiful and if you're gonna be selling someone's body to me in exchange to keep your secrets safe than it may as well be yours." you explained.

"But- Well- I've never done that before!" he put his hands up defensively "Well obviously, who would want to touch a greasy nerd like you?" you sighed. "Well- No, that's wrong!" he shook his head "Well I'm not gonna make you, just give me something else then and I'll be on my way" you told him. Karl looked down at his feet for a moment as he mulled over what was happening and what decision he was gonna make.

Karl lifted his head and made eye contact with you "Okay." he replied "Okay what? Okay you're gonna give me something?" you asked "No- I mean- okay I'm gonna give you my body" he mumbled quietly "Gonna need to speak up, can't hear you over the sound of our parents crying over having such a disappointing child" you ridiculed him.

"I'll give you my body, damnit!" he yelled "hey- quiet down, our parents are only just down stairs!" you made him shut up. "Whatever" he leaned back in his chair and slumped down "Karl. You need to give me your full consent, you can't just go 'yea whatever' and expect me to be fine with that!" you furrowed your eyebrows "Why?? What- do you need me to beg you for it?!" he was getting aggravated.

"Actually yes, I do" you decided to torment him a little bit "Big sis, please please please fuck this desperate loser" he put his hands together to make a praying gesture as he mocked you "That's more like it, runt." you grabbed his chin and forced him to face you "We can stop at any time, if you choose not to speak up then that'll be your fault" you made sure he was fully aware that he had a say even though he wasn't in control.

"Thanks. Now- how do we?" Karl was now confused on what you were gonna do, and he was having some type of delusion that he was gonna be the one in charge dominating you. "I think I'm just gonna have some fun by jerking you off, is that okay bunny?" you teased "W-what do you mean you're gonna jerk me off?" Karl asked nervously "I'm gonna stroke your dick, never done that before?" you bullied him.

"N-no, never even thought about it.." his face became red and flushed, you slowly slid onto his lap and straddled his leg "No? You haven't? Are you lying to your big sister? That's not very nice you know, Mom always told me that you shouldn't lie (Unless it's to your dad) " Karl glanced away from you and tried to hide his face "Aw you can tell me the truth, I'm a good listener after all!" you encouraged him "I haven't.." he persisted.

"Well then let me introduce you to the pleasure that is being jerked off, slide your pants down" you instructed "What? Do I have to.." he was clearly embarrassed "No. I guess I could just palm you through your pants" you shrugged. Karl sighed in relief and let out a small breath, tilting his head back in the chair and waiting for you to do what you wanted.

Your hand dipped between his legs, your palm rubbing his growing bulge "H-Hey that feels weird" he told you "So what? You want me to stop?" he shut his mouth, encouraging you to keep palming him. "This would feel a lot better if you let your cock free, instead your trapping it in your tight pants and strangling it.." you frowned "F-fine.." Karl blushed as he slowly pulled his pants down.

You watched in delight as he released his penis "Oh is this what you were worried about?" you stared down at it "O-Oh god-" Karl felt humiliated and went to put it away but you stopped him "It's cute.. I wouldn't expect a nerd's penis to be big anyways" you told him. Karl's little cock twitched at your words, moving slightly on its own "oh. my. god. You LIKE when I'm mean to you! That's why you never argue back! It all makes sense now.." Karl looked down to avert eye contact.

"That's perfect Karl, you love when I'm mean to you- and I love to make fun of you! Win Win!" you felt a small rush of excitement. Your hand wrapped around his cock which forced a choked out moan from him, his hands moving to cover his face "you're acting quite rude Karl. Look at your big sister when she's talking to you!" you ordered.

Karl slowly revealed his face, revealing how much pleasure he was having. "F-Feel's weird, let go!" he ushered you to let go of his penis, even though his body disagreed; his hips bucking up into your hand to help finish him off "Trust your big sister." you said as you continued to pump your hand around his cock. "Fuck! Fuck you!" Karl's whole body shuddered as he was having an orgasm, his penis twitching in your hand.

"Wow Karl, that was rude." you huffed and narrowed your eyes, your hand still lingering on his crotch "A-are you done now?" Karl panted as he was trying to catch his breath "Done? I've barely even started!" you laughed maniacally as you began to slowly stroke him again "Ah- no no no, that's too much!" Karl whined. "You want me to stop?" you asked him "Yes!" he exclaimed so you let go and pulled away "What?" Karl was confused and a bit upset "Hm? What is it?" you asked "You're just.. done?" he looked saddened.

"You told me to stop!" you explained "yeah but.. I didn't really mean it.." Karl's cheeks were dusted red "Well come back here then" you grabbed his hips and forced him back down onto his chair. Karl was already eager and bucking his hips up against you, your hand grabbed him again and started to jerk him off "Ah!- Ah-" Karl tried to keep quiet but couldn't help the escaped noises that came out.

You placed your free hand over his mouth to try and muffle his moans, his voice vibrating against your hand "You can never be quiet! Always have something to say, don't you?" you rolled your eyes at him. Karl clenched his eyes shut and tapped the chair repeatedly with his hand to let you know he was ready to cum again, you let him release his load yet again but you didn't remove your hand.

"A-Again?? I can only take so much.." Karl whimpered and whined "You're feeling this way already? But I've only just started!" You frowned "Well I guess I can give you a break now but there won't be any breaks later on when our parents go out to dinner." you stood up and got off him. "T-Thanks.." Karl huffed "For what?" you asked "Thanks for um- pleasuring me?" you scoffed and walked back to your room, ready to return at night time when you had Karl all to yourself.

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*guys lemme know if u want a part 2 bc I could certainly make one of the reader x karl at night time after their parents have left.

[redrobin-detective]

Idk why but dp and bb crossovers are so funny to me like imagine just being a ghost kid trying to do your job and this smug demon won't leave you alone because he knows you aren't completely human and just wants to reveal your secret for fun

Danny and Seb lowkey get into a competition to out inhuman the other as an intimidation tactic until they're complete monsters at this point and Ciel is in the middle just so goddamn exhausted. He just wants to find the people who murdered his family and die in peace.

I've gotten enough asks that I now have a plan for this au haha: Danny accidentally goes through a time portal in the Zone into BB Victorian London and can't get back through it before it closes. He's trying to find a portal when he runs into some other supernatural beings in London which also leads him to Ciel and Seb. They initially peg him as a reaper but he's pretty obviously Something Else. So they do the same thing they do when they find a talented, powerful, stupid and lost being capable of causing massive harm; they take him back to the manor and give him a job.

Danny doesn't really get a choice in this, Ciel basically strong arms him with a deal: he will use his abilities (of which Danny doesnt really tell them what he can and can't do, he doesn't trust them as he shouldn't) to help Ciel's mission and Ciel will provide Danny with sanctuary as well as search for a way home for him. It's a stalemate but get the following delightful situations.

- Danny has to admit he's from the far future and, to excuse his powers, pretends everyone in the future has supernatural abilities. The things he tries to bullshit are hilarious.

- The servants a d o r e him, he's barely older than their young master but has also bene through some shit while also remaining a sweetie. They would die for him even though he could probably take them all, except Finny, out. Danny has no idea he just got new uncles and an aunt. They try and teach him Victorian England stuff, Danny is working on teaching Finny to skateboard. It's great fun.

- Danny finds himself strangely relaxed in this foreign land and time to be more of himself? Especially around Seb, like yeah he's devious and evil and manipulative but that's just Vlad only more polite. When the humans aren't around they let out their more inhuman traits until even Ciel is getting disturbed. The servants are desensitized by now and think it's great fun.

- Danny actually running into reapers and being like 'hi what the FUCK are you doing with a 21st century lawnmower/chainsaw' and they're like 'hi what the FUCK is a ghost hybrid from 200 years from now doing here?' everyone is confused and there's lots of yelling.

- They get so much sneaky shit done with Danny around who is very much stressed out. He is 14 and committing actual treason in another country in the past and he's upset. His parents won't be born for centuries and he just knows they'll find out somehow.

- Danny is given the role as a page boy because he's too young to be anything else and it's hilarious. Ciel delights in giving him menial assignments and Danny delights in being a contrary pain in the ass. They're both snarky, depressed, overwhelmed with their black, bleak outlook and sense of humor. They get on very well actually. Sometimes, he asks Danny very quietly when Seb is far away what it's like to die.

- Speaking of which, if Danny gets a whiff of the contract btw Ciel and Seb he is going after that demon with his claws bared. That is his LITTLE BROTHER that he just adopted just now and you are not going to purposely make him miserable only to eat his soul. It is fucking on.

- This is a very fun, ridiculous yet strangely heartwarming au about finding comfort in shared oddness in different circumstances. London proper doesn't even know what to make of the newest Phantomhive servant because that house is weird af.

[hiimbloblos]

I'll get you later

5.8k words || death tw || blood tw || things may get a bit more graphic than intended

Bloop! Special thanks to @12u3ie and @mleemwyvern on HCHC discord (btw you should totally join because there are so many talented and supportive people) for beta-reading! Fume was inspired by this Tango/EvilXisuma Fusion designed by @homeskllet

All my works are here 💜✨

Headcanons/ideas used:

Tango has mechanical eyes, which are powered by redstone and his sight worsens if not powered for long enough. Not plot-relevant, I just think it's cool

Evil X can't respawn by himself. He is not a normal player, but an-evil-clone-who-turned-out-to-be-good-in-the-end-etc. It's just harder for him to get pulled out of the death void.

Also yes in case of death you are sent to the void and you are given an energy boost so you can rush back alive. The atmosphere is dead and cold in there, so hermits don't really stay for a long time. It's easy for players to get out the void, as if you simply press a button ;).

In-game chat = communicators

Hermits still can skip the night via 'Multiplayer sleep'. But only the ones who were in bed during that time get a full rest, while hermits who weren't in bed get only half the energy, which is enough to get to bed next night. '*hermit_name* went to sleep.' messages still show up.

Offline = not connected to in-game chat; online = connected to in-game chat.

There are SO MANY POSSIBILITIES for this fusion trope!! You can have it all! Angsty bits with Tango realising that EX is not, in fact, okay after being banned by Xisuma???? YOU CAN HAVE THAT. Derpy and hilarious bits because it's Tango and EX we're talking about?????? WHY NOT!!? This one is a more of a comedic fic, so I hope u like

Upd a few days later: no nope it's the first one it's angsty bits oh god oh fuck-- Also I got carried away and it's not a Fume-exclusive story. Whoops :p

— You gotta be kidding me. Tell me you're kidding me. — EX looked away from the madman, fixing his helmet in its place.

— I am no-o-ot! — Tango swung his hand in the air, mocking EX with his voice changer, — 'Oh look, I am Evil X, I am an evil human, I am doing evil things, but too scared to help Tango with his evil killificators, aargh!'

— FINE, fine! You should be grateful that I'm good now, — EX jokingly pushed Tango's shoulder, making him giggle with excitement. This was... Promising and concerning at the same time. Who knows what's going on in the brain of that red-eyed madman.

— Behold! A fusing and unfusing (I hope) machine, my uh... Fusionificator! — Tango grabbed EX's shoulder and waited, as the confused man cautiously looked over the whole mechanism, where gears stopped in place and liquids calmly bubbled in flasks and tubes. The color was mainly... Red.

— Is that blood? — EX pointed at the tubes and was met with a jokingly judging glare of mechanical eyes.

— No, I'm not that crazy, — he exhaled in amusement, — That's potions and stuff, I learned a few tricks and bits from Stress, that's it. But come to think of it, blood would look cool, — Tango laughed at how even the helmet couldn't hide EX's shocked face.

— You are not making it any better, you know that, you mad scientist? — EX brushed off the hand from his shoulder and crossed his arms, — Why do you need my help anyway? Want me to become a test subject? You should've asked one of your pals, they would be perfect for it, — it's not like EX didn't already agree to help, but he couldn't help but add a few prickly comments.

— You were closer AND online, — Tango shrugged, but then pointed at the armoured chestplate with a cheeky grin, — Also you are not considered to be an entity of its own, aren't you? Quite an interesting bud!

— What makes me so--

— Just get in already! — EX got pushed into the big tube. Tango got on the other side and pushed a few buttons, audibly voicing each push with 'beep's and 'boop's. Then, he menacingly grabbed the big lever, which probably shouldn't have been this oversized, — You ready?

— Probably not?!--

— Too bad! — Tango swiftly pushed the lever and jumped inside the other tube. Flasks started bubbling more aggressively and gears started to creak in movement.

— Is it too late to tell you that I'm concerned about the fact that you called this machine a 'Killificator' earlier? — EX shouted over the sound of whirling mechanisms and liquids.

— Yes! But you can just respawn if something goes wrong, can't you?!

— I will not be able to respawn, Tango! — a shaking voice with a panicky tone reached blonde's ears, — You know I'm not like--

— You what--?!

Lots of memories flooded the mind. They were both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. The whole body was a bit tingly, a feeling of uncertainty crawling through.

A man has stepped out of the tube in the middle, tripping on his own legs and almost falling on the floor. He looked at himself. Black-red costume, massive boots. Everything looked a lot... Shorter. Was he taller or was it the boots?..

— I... I think it worked. I'm not... Not dead, — he looked around and didn't find anyone in the other two tubes. As well, he didn't find any reflective surface to look at his appearance. Tango lived near an ocean, didn't he? That still doesn't excuse him from not having a proper mirror...

— Well would you look at that! — the reflection in the water showed a long-haired human with a very expressive LED helmet. It didn't change his voice, though, so it wasn't as intimidating. An attempt to take the helmet off resulted in discovery of long red nails. There wasn't anything special about them... Except for the fact that they were much, much tougher than simple human nails. The hair had a beautiful gradient from almost white to dark yellow with hair tips burnt a bit. The helmet was off and the man could finally look at himself, — I'm so fabulous... I'm so fabulous!! Look at these golden locks and these tough stylish armoured boots! You can kick someone into another universe with boots like that! Spikes! — he touched the tips to check if they were sharp, — Ouch! Stabby things! Do you see that, Tango?-- I mean EX-- I mean... — a lost stare scratched around the surroundings, looking for... something. Maybe an answer, maybe-- — We are now... I am now someone new...

— Let's see... — Fusion put the helmet back on and looked back at the shaky reflection in the water. Red LEDs took a second to turn on. The helmet looked at itself through the reflection. Blinked a few times. Brows appeared and wiggled a bit, then suddenly disappeared, — It's fantastic... Sad?.. — red tears showed up on the screen, falling under the mask, — Angry! — red eyes broke into fire, burning wildly, — Happy! — Fusion giggled and helmet showed excited eyes with black stars in them, — Very happy! — Hair started smouldering and fumes rose up to the skies, — What the!?-- — Fusion panicked, took off the helmet and, following the very first thought that came to mind, dumped his head in the water. That seemed to put off the smoking hair. What was that with all those... Fumes? Was it because he got too excited? Fumes, huh...

— Fume! — the answer came really quick, — Our-- My name is now Fume! — he stood up and looked back at Toon Towers. His hair was a wet mess, got burnt a bit, but he was pretty happy with the discovery of his new awesome name. Fume reflexively took out the communicator and checked the chat.

<Tango> X, can I grab EX from you?

<EvilXisuma> You can ask me directly, I'm not dependent on that derpball

<Xisuma> yeah sure

<Xisuma> he wasn't helpful anyways

<EvilXisuma> Speak for yourself

<Tango> meet me at the shopping district then

MumboJumbo went to bed. Sweet dreams

<Keralis1> Where's Bubbles when you need him?

<BDoubleO100> I'd let you know that beds don't work in the Nether!

Tango was killed by [Unintentional World Design]

EvilXisuma was killed by [Unintentional World Design]

<Xisuma> what are you doing!

<Xisuma> don't do that!

<cubfan135> UNintentional?? you can do that??

<MumboJumbo> I'm surprised that death message wasn't from Scar

<GoodTimeWithScar> hey!

BDoubleO100 left the chat

BDoubleO100 joined the chat

Xisuma whispers to you: Tango you at your base? is EX okay?

Fume was amused by those chat messages. Unintentional World Design sounded hilarious. Did Tango really push this world's code to its limits? But why is there a death message in the first place? Probably because communicators couldn't detect their owners… Fume started tapping on the communicator.

<EvilXisuma> yep

<Tango> yep

That was interesting. Why are the messages doubled? Wait a minute… Fuse checked his pockets, but didn't find another communicator. Did these communicators fuse? If so, why do they not detect Fume as a separate being? Is it because he wasn't registered?

<Xisuma> need any help?

<EvilXisuma> nope

<Tango> nope

<EvilXisuma> But you gotta see this!

<Tango> But you gotta see this!

<Xisuma> why are you writing the same messages...

<EvilXisuma> Keralis can I come to your base?

<Tango> Keralis can I come to your base?

<Keralis1> just don't destroy anything

<EvilXisuma> No promises!

<Tango> No promises!

Fume dropped the communicator inside one of the pockets and swaggered back to Toon Towers. He couldn't believe it worked. Will he be able to unfuse?... He didn't want to think about it right now.

— A bit dusty and forgotten, buut... — a blanket, covering something big, got gracefully thrown onto the concrete floor. The reveal was grand: a speedy motorcycle with shiny stickers and a few scratches was carefully laid onto its left side. Tango made it before creating Decked Out, mainly because he didn't know what else to do. He didn't really show or tell anyone about it, because there weren't any roads to roam around. But now, with Keralis's city almost built up, it would serve as a wonderful opportunity for Fume to introduce himself to the hermits, right?

— I can't see anyone, — Keralis was standing on one of the buildings, looking up at the skies, trying to find two flying figures. But there weren't any. In fact, there wasn't even a single distant sound of a rocket going off.

— Me too, — Xisuma sighed and checked his communicator. Nothing. He walked to the edge of the building, hands behind his back, steps strict and straight. He yawned and looked down to the streets. After HCCBS happened, Cleo has been filling an empty city with armour stands, which made it look really nice and lively. You could tell that it was Cleo's work: the overall view looked lively and calm, but mini armour stands were falling and getting eaten here and there.

A sudden loud noise took off-guard people on the roof. It wasn't nearly as close to the sound of a rocket. It was more... rough; more violent.

— What was that? — Keralis asked, hoping Xisuma would know. Bee armour just shrugged and started to search the roads.

— There! — he pointed down to a roaming motorcycle, which slowed down to find someone except... creepy armour stands. Xisuma sent off a rocket to show his location and in a few moments the motorcycle stopped under the building. A person jumped off the vehicle and, with a cracking sound of rockets, flew up from the ground.

— Hi! — the person swiftly jumped on top of the roof and waved his hand, unsure of what to say, — It's uhh... Me, Fume! Tango built a machine that can fuse stuff together and decided to test it with EX!

— Wot?! — Xisuma's accent somehow became more British, showing his astonishment.

— We fused! — Fume cheerfully raised his hands in the sky.

— So THAT was the unintentional world design?! — Xisuma opened the communicator on his left forearm to check something.

— I mean If you put it that way, then yes, it wasn't intended, — Fume caught Xisuma's concerned look and backed off, — But everything went fine, didn't it? Nobody died in the process! I don't think those death messages in the chat were... Actual deaths, you know?

— Well I can't see anyone in the void either, so... I guess that's fine? — X realised what he said and shook his head, – Wh- no, it's experimenting on humans, that's NOT fine! Tango what have you done?!

– First of all, my name is Fume, – he bowed down in a sort of joking clownish style to present himself. Xisuma sighed tiredly, but hearing how Keralis giggled a bit, he tried not to take this situation as serious anymore. Tango, despite being a bit crazy with his inventions, still knew what consequences may occur. Most of the time. Xisuma was hoping it was one of those times, – Second of all, I think Tango himself would explain the whole thing better, because my memories are a jumbled mess of bits and sticks from their brains, – Fusion stood still for a moment, actively searching for info in his head. His face lit up and Xisuma knew that he 'remembered' something, – Despite that, I feel like I know a little bit. Tango was experimenting with fusing things around his base. But then two bees somehow ended up in the fusion machine and Tango... and he... Hm, give me a minute to remember... there was one big bee and... ack!.. – Fume took off the helmet, put a hand on his head and rubbed his forehead, – Whatever he did makes my brain hurt. This feeling is... familiar, for some reason... Did Tango or EX have sudden headaches?

– I think neither of them did... – Keralis scratched his head, – Although Tango did complain that he had massive headaches, but those were the result of him not taking a break from his projects for a long time. He was just exhausted. I can't say anything about EX though... Shishwammy?

– I... – he stuttered for a second, as if debating whether he should or shouldn't tell them everything, – I uh... Yes, EX did, in fact, have sudden headaches, but I didn't ask him about them. Mainly because he probably wouldn't tell me the reason behind them, that stubborn rapscallion.

– I am still here and I can hear you just fine, X, – Fume crossed his arms on his chest and scoffed. That definitely hurt his feelings, even though he wasn't EX himself, – Maybe he would tell you if he could believe you after you-- ack!-- – he grabbed his head and tried to squeeze out the sudden pain. Xisuma flinched to offer help, but Fusion stopped him, – Don't-- Let's just change the subject so my brain won't hurt, shall we?

– I don't know if I can think of anything after that, – Keralis gently grabbed Fume's shoulder, noticing how he began to panic and his hair started to smoulder, – Are you sure you're okay? Y-your hair is--

– Yes-yep-totallyfine – Fusion flinched away from Keralis and tripped over the edge of the building, falling on his back.

– Uh- wait!-- – Keralis rushed to the edge, followed by Xisuma. A loud splat on the ground was followed by a double ding of communicators, – He'll respawn, right?

– Tango? Most definitely. Fume? No idea. EX? I'll have to grab him out of the death void manually, – Xisuma looked down and noticed a lost figure in a pool of quickly disappearing blood, – Is that Tango?

– It sure looks like it is... – Keralis looked at the forgotten helmet, then at Xisuma and they nodded to each other. They glided down one after another and were met by seriously confused Tango.

He was sitting on the ground, mind switching between flashing thoughts and blank spaces. When hermits landed near him, he couldn't hear them at first, white noise blocking any sounds. He tried to focus his eyes on something-- anything, but it felt like he forgot how his own eyes work.

– ...ango! – he could finally hear how Keralis called his name and sighed in relief as white noise was leaving his ears.

– I'm not deaf, don't scream at me, jeez! – Tango teased. While Keralis relaxed at the thought that his friend was his usual self, Xisuma kept fidgeting with Fume's helmet, worry leaking through dense bee armour. Tango looked around, – Where's EX?

– Tango, when you encountered fused bees, what did you do to them? – Xisuma looked at his communicator and started to frantically type something on the screen.

– Their buzzing was driving me insane, so my only logical solution was to-- ouch! – a phantom pain striked through his brain, but it wasn't as rough as when Tango was... Fume, if that makes sense, – I killed that giant buzzing bee and was about to continue working on the machine, but... Not only did the buzz not stop, it doubled! There were two bees buzzing around the machine, as if they had a beehi-- – Tango stopped himself. You could basically hear how his brain was connecting the dots to reveal the whole picture, – Remind me to kill Etho later.

– Will do! – cheerfully said Keralis, while Xisuma was still busy with his communicator, – But what happened next?

– Nothing much, I just killed the remaining bees. I uh... Sorry for killing bees? – Tango looked at the man in the bee armour, who just waved a 'That's fine, I don't really care right now', – About EX...

– What about him? – Xisuma was unusually quick to react. He used to wait and choose his words, but this reaction took off-guard even himself, so he cleared his throat as if nothing happened and continued typing, – I need to take him out of the void now, so if you have something to say, go ahead.

– Did you argue about anything before he left to the shopping district today? – Tango finally gained control of his mechanical eyes and focused them on Keralis, who took Fume's helmet from Xisuma so he could type on his communicator. Builder just shrugged and now two hermits were looking at the man in the bee armour.

– Maybe... – his voice was giving away his concern and worry, – What did he tell you?

– Nothing, really. It was just... When we were Fume, something about our-- uhh-- 'feelings' towards you was off. I know that he tried to destroy the server a couple of times, but in the end he turned out to be fine and you became buddies, didn't you? Yes, he's still a bit stubborn and you have some reason to dislike each other due to his past actions, although--

– Tango, why do you think he was absent for such a long time? – Xisuma tiredly sighed, – I... I didn't want to tell anyone about this, but I banished him into the void. I killed him and did not come back for him. He can't respawn by himself, he simply doesn't have enough, I don't know, 'force' like others do. Clones like EX and Helsknight can't respawn by themselves. I don't know why it functions like that, and, frankly, I was too much of a coward to try and change anything about it, – he rubbed his neck and looked away from hermits. It was... Quite a reveal, to say the least, – And yes, we did argue before you asked me to borrow him. He refused to sleep at night and it led to him being more annoying and... Argh! – he helplessly gestured around, – I just wanted to make his life better than what was the void... To make up for what I've done... I... – Xisuma looked back at two hermits, who had... complicated feelings towards his friend. He clenched his fists and forced a shaky sigh, – I hope that answers your question, Tango.

– And you said that I was a wrongen for experimenting with the fusion machine... – redstoner remembered the "I will not be able to respawn, Tango!", cried out with a shaking panic in his voice. He shuddered at the thought. That's why it hurt the brain to even think about dying. That's why EX was concerned about the 'Killificator' name and potions looking bloody red.

– You told us all that EX just decided to 'take a holiday'! That he 'wanted to take a break from destroying worlds'! Shishwammy, I don't think you have the right idea of a holiday! – Keralis held the helmet closer to himself, as if someone was trying to take it away from him. Xisuma wanted to say something, but got interrupted, – What are you waiting for?! Go and get him out of there! I can't believe you abandoned EX like that!

Void

Empty

Crippling

Doubting

Quiet

Well, too quiet

So quiet that you can hear your thoughts

It's terrifying

They are terrifying

EX knew that feeling far too well. At first, void gives a massive energy boost to help respawn, so the person would be fully ready to create and fight, or to retrieve lost items. That's how void worked for hermits. Not for clones like EX. It gave him energy, but seeing as he can't respawn and nobody is coming to get him, void started consuming his whole body with its vines, breaking the armour and slowly draining all the energy he had. It's slow, it's quiet, it's scary and it's not pleasant in the slightest. When there was no energy left, void just tossed him away, empty and emotionless. He could see dead hermits appear and respawn and no matter how hard he wanted to scream for help, he couldn't even whisper. His voice was completely gone and that made him feel even worse. A perfect victim for hungry depressing thoughts. They tore his soul apart as his tears streamed down his face, drowning him in his own helmet and leaking through the broken vizor.

That's how X retrieved him. Broken, empty, emotionless. Armour - cracked, reactions - none. EX remembers how he woke up one morning, whole body aching at the smallest of movements. Tired. Alone. He called, "X… Xisuma?", but only heard the sound of a closing door. There are blank spaces instead of memories of what happened before or after that.

He really wanted to help Xisuma with farms and buildings. It's not his fault that the latest farms are all about getting heads from creatures by beheading them. Every time a creature is killed, there's a chance its body won't disappear. That's when... Well, it's quite obvious what happens next, isn't it?

Vines grabbed EXs body, ready to steal his energy. He didn't resist, it was pointless. Soon it will cover him from head to toe, making him unable to move.

EX wasn't sure how much time had passed when he got banished for the first time, but it felt like an eternity. It... gave him some time to think. He remembered the day of his banishment as if it was just a few days ago, simply because that was his last memory of reality and... Xisuma.

– Thinkin' about destroying the wooorld~ – EX cheerfully joked for the eighth time of that day. Xisuma held his breath and clenched the axe in his hands. They went chopping trees, and EX wasn't being very cooperative. More of an annoyance that just so happened to offer his help. There was no denying that he was, in fact, helpful, because Xisuma alone probably wouldn't get as much wood this fast, but the annoying attitude of his evil self was getting on his nerves. Lack of sleep and only half the energy didn't help either, X was just more derpy, less focused and easily annoyed. Bdubs appeared online a few days ago, so Xisuma left his bed at home to have space for an additional stack of wood.

– Would you please stop it with your annoyance, – Xisuma tried to keep his cool, but was failing miserably, hands clenching on a sturdy wooden handle. He forced his eyes shut and slowly exhaled. It felt like if you touch him, he'd chop someone's head off instead of a tree. When he opened his eyes, EX was right in front of him, looking directly through the vizors.

– Nope! I'm bored, – EX straightened and yawned, – Destroying the world seems like a much more fun activity than chopping down the same tree over and over, – he reached to grab Xisuma's hand with the communicator on it to write a few commands, – I'll just play a bit and then we can continue--

EX got interrupted by a sudden push, forcing him to fall on his back. He looked up and saw Xisuma standing on top, hands holding an axe with a dead-hard grip.

– Go and play without me, I'll get you later, – EX froze in terror for a moment as Xisuma swiftly raised the axe up, gaining force. A loud scream tore apart the silence of the forest, followed by a sloppy sound of an axe breaking a skull.

– What's wrong, X? – Tango was still sitting on the ground, looking at the lost man in the bee armour, – If you want, I can get EX myself, – he took out his communicator.

– Don't!-- – Xisuma flinched away from his thoughts and started frantically placing his items into a shulkerbox, misplacing them out of nervousness, – I should be the one to free him, I should be--

– He will forgive you, – Keralis spoke up, still holding the helmet close to himself, – I know you feel like a traitor, but I'm sure he would just be happy to respawn and live.

Xisuma waited a bit and finally nodded. Keralis was probably right. Probably. X couldn't be sure. He placed the final item in the shulker, closed it and put it in the enderchest. He was still debating on what to say to EX, but was overall ready to spend some time in the cold void. X once again opened his communicator and wrote a /kill command.

– I uh… Thank you. I promise I won't be long. I'll probably respawn at my base and I can't take that helmet with me, so… Would you mind? – he pointed at the helmet and hermits nodded. Xisuma quickly exhaled and proceeded with the command. Sudden pain rushed through his body, killing him instantly.

– You think they'll be alright? – Tango finally stood up, leaning on the leftover shulkerbox. Keralis nodded a quick "I'm sure", helping his fellow hermit, who was somewhat surprised by something, – Aww man! I'm short again! Fume was a lot taller, and he had those massive shin-kicking boots and…

Xisuma was met by a freezing cold emptiness and was instantly given an energy boost. He searched around and, to no surprise, found what-- who he was looking for. A floating body, alone in the endless darkness of void, in the grasp of its life-draining vines. This view was… new to X. Last time he found his evil self, he was just floating mindlessly, not reacting to anything…

– EX! – Xisuma flew closer and waved his arm in front of the broken vizor, trying to get attention. Zero reaction genuinely scared him, – Noo, don't tell me you died here and I'll have to find you in a voider void. Please, react! – he took off the helmet and a few big blobs of tears floated up. He quickly grabbed EXs shoulders and checked his breath. A faint exhale sent shivers down his spine and he himself exhaled in relief.

He lifted up EX and rushed back alive, hoping it would work. It did: EX suddenly became heavier as gravity returned and X almost fell on his respawn bed. It was placed in a freshly built room inside the leaning sword tower. He laid down the human from his arms onto the said bed and checked the chat. EX still wasn't connected, good. That meant nobody would bother with unnecessary questions. Xisuma looked at the time: it was almost night. As much as it might've sped up the process, he decided that EX simply wouldn't be able to handle the wonders of this world's energy spreading. So, he did what he thought was the best choice: he disabled the whole thing.

<Xisuma> we may have a problem with sleeping this week

<Tango> only this week? sounds unreal

<Xisuma> nights can't be skipped and we will not be able to get the usual rest

<Keralis1> So you're saying that Bubbles is useless now?

<BDoubleO100> Very freakin funny!

<Tango> When is the competition for The Worst Sleeping Schedule? I want to know when to collect the main prize

Xisuma closed the communicator and looked back at the now sleeping human on the bed. He won't be able to walk for a while. And emote. And function as a normal person, in general. Time in the death void is slowed down just by a half, but in the long run it makes a huge difference. A second turns into two seconds, a day turns into two days, two years turn into four years. As if it wasn't enough already, EX was probably scared of Xisuma. Probably.

Almost two weeks later EX was still sleeping, sometimes mumbling something under his breath, and X decided to give him a little push. He turned on the nightskip and surprised a few hermits who were online. Not really caring about their reactions, as he can read them later, he sat down near EX's bed and placed his hands on the edge of the mattress, hoping for a change. Clock striked 6 AM sharp once someone went to sleep and the face of a sleeping man twitched in pain. He finally started moving, arms searching for something to grab, body squirming in place. X hesitantly offered his hand and got harshly grabbed by a pale palm, which instantly calmed down EX at the realization that it was a human hand and not something harmful. He stopped moving and relaxed, holding the hand tight and breathing without proper rhythm.

Xisuma gave this moment a good minute or two before carefully tucking out his hand. He didn't deserve this. Not after what he'd done. He… he needs to take good care of his… old pal. He was the reason why EX was absent. He was the reason why EX was stuck in the death void. "Not anymore. Never again." Xisuma took the bowl of slowly cooling cream-soup from the counter and walked up to the door, opening the door to leave.

– X… Xisuma? – shivers ran down his spine. He closed the door and looked back at the laying human. EX looked painfully upset with something. Maybe it was the lack of an answer, so Xisuma returned the soup to its place and sat down beside the bed.

– Yes, I'm here. Are you hungry?..

– Have you come to watch me suffer? – EX still had the energy to sting X with his prickly words, even though he was half-covered by vines and his limbs started to give out from soreness, – What was the point of reviving me?.. Doesn't matter. Leave me like you did back then.

– Back then, I wanted to get you out of here a few days later, just to teach you a lesson not to even think about destroying the world for once, but... days turned into months, Demise happened, new world happened and I--

– You forgot about me, didn't you, you derpball? – EX looked at his, in theory, 'less evil' self and rolled his eyes, – Just admit that you forgot about me and we'll move on.

– Not even for a second, – EX gulped. "Oh really now?" – I was afraid I'd kill you again. I just... I snapped at you for no reason other than being annoyed, and that is not how I should've reacted. Man, that's such a dumb excuse, but-- The more time passed, the more awful I felt about not getting you out and-- I-I didn't even know how to apologise and-- – Xisuma stopped himself from saying even more nonsense with a shaky inhale. Collected all the courage he had left, and... – I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart. There is no deed in the world that would make the whole situation better, and I just hope you-- we can at least try and return to being... pals?

– ...you can't even imagine the things I was ready to do to anyone who would free me from this prison. I was ready for everything, and yet this... This is not what I was expecting from you, of all people. For the past... Eternity, I guess, all I could think of is the rage in your eyes right before you... you know... – void spreaded its vines further on EX's armour, covering his head.

Xisuma couldn't look at this anymore. He floated closer and offered his hand. EX just slowly blinked in agreement, unable to move his hands.

– I can't feel my legs. I'll fall on the ground, as a complete embarrassment that I am… – EX chuckled.

– And I am here to prevent that, – Xisuma hugged EX and closed his eyes, feeling how vines started to try and consume him, – Are you ready?

– I am.

– Just breathe. I'm here, – Xisuma held EX tight, not letting him fall. These were much better conditions than last time: EX was conscious and actually cooperated. X sat him down on the respawn bed, getting and placing a few wool blocks behind the bed for him to lean on, – How are you feeling?

– A lot better than what void was, – EX tried to move and lifted his shaking hand up to move the hair away from his face. Wait… – Where is my helmet?

– I think you left it on top of one of Keralis' buildings while you were Fume, – Xisuma opened his enderchest and placed a few shulkerboxes on the ground, getting his items back, – Which reminds me…

<Xisuma> Keralis, Tango, where are you?

<Tango> on our way! had to take the motorcycle out of the way ;)

<Zedaph> You have a motorcycle?!

<Tango> Made it out of boredom…

<Zedaph> What about the saddle I gifted you?!

<Tango> I would never use that saddle

<Zedaph> You don't appreciate my gifts, Tango :'(

<Xisuma> We await patiently!

– You know, now that we're here… I remember that I wanted to tell you something. I uh, I forgive you, – EX spoke up as an attempt to distract himself from leftover depressing thoughts. He caught Xisuma's grateful look and returned to trying to fiddle some sensitivity into his shaking arms, slightly smiling, – Say, how long was I out the first time you got me out of the void?

– Oh, at least two weeks. But it's because I turned off the nightskip so it wouldn't rush your awakening. But when I turned it on, you finally started moving and the first thing you did was to grab my hand in search of comfort. After that I fed you soup and basically took care of you…

– That's embarrassing.

– Not in the slightest! Any hermit would try to do the same thing, and I don't think that you are an exception.

– My memory of these moments is a total mess if I'm honest. Would you mind telling me what happened then?

– Of course! You mostly just slept. And I fed you sometimes. Mushroom stew. And rabbit stew. Whatever I was working with at the time. Oh, and your first attempts at walking were a bit wonky, but you had the spirit!

– Yeah, I think I regained proper consciousness after falling out of the bed… – EX scratched the back of his forehead and both of them chuckled. They still had a lot of things to address, but this day… They would remember this day as a new start.

~text rips off dramatically because… ~

Because I actually finished! Hurray! Thanks for reading! :D

If you have any thoughts, my askbox is always open with both anon/non-anon options! I would love to see feedback, it makes my day a 100% better :>

And, as always, Reblogs are better than Likes, but both are appreciated ^v^

[rev-1832]

please for the love of all fuck explain mcyt to me

Omg I've been waiting for this

So mcyt means minecraft youtube, but usually also includes Twitch streamers. It's like a in general thing, and not pointing to anything specific

But since you sound so confused, I'm gonna explain to you the Dream SMP lore 'cause why not

TL;DR: Chaos and war, basically also like a hamilton, heathers, and les mis crossover (but i mean if you want to understand everything you should read.)

If theres spelling mistakes, sorry

Note: Everyone on the smp has three canon lives, and when you loose all three you're canonically dead (except philza minecraft. he has one canon life bc hes known as the hardcore guy bc he had a minecraft hardcore series for 6 years until he was killed by a spider while trying to fight a baby zombie lmaoooooo)

IMPORTANT: THIS IS ALL RP. IRL THEY’RE ALL FRIENDS. THERES A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE PLAYER AND THE CHARACTER. THE RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T ACTUALLY TOGETHER IRL. ITS ALL THEIR CHARACTERS THAT THEY MADE UP. (obviously the best friends stuff are irl)

In the beginning there were 8: The Dream Team (Dream, Georgenotfound [the guy in my pfp btw :)] , Sapnap), Badboyhalo, Awesamdude, Ponk, Callahan, and Alyssa. Around this time, nothing much happened since it was all brand new, uhh yeah (this was around may-july of this year)

Then around late july new members joined: Tommyinnit, Tubbo, Wilbur Soot, Eret, Skeppy, Fundy, Punz, Purpled, and Schlatt. This part is very important to the lore, because the lore kinda started off with the british (so tommy, tubbo, wilbur, eret) Schlatt was banned, cause Sapnap was the one who invited him and Dream didn't know who he was. He'll come up later.

So Wilbur and Tommy decided to create a new nation called "L'Manberg". Also around this time (i think) Nihachu and Jack Manifold joined. They also were part of L'Manberg. There was this huge revolution between Dream Smp and L'Manberg. Very historical period on this smp. In the end, (i think it was?) L'Manberg who won (if memory serves).

After that, L'Manberg had started growing bigger, with a lot more buildings added and stuff, notably Church Prime, which where they created a religion for Twitch Prime, which is how you can sub to your favorite twitch streamer for free if you link your amazon prime account. I'm pretty sure around this time, Quackity, Karl Jacobs (if you watch Mr. Beast; yes, that karl jacobs), HBomb, Technoblade, and Antfrost joined. And then the railway war started. It happened when Tommy accidentally ran over Dream with a Minecart and then took his stuff. This is how the disc war started (once again, if memory serves). The two discs Tommy owns are his prized possesions, and Dream took them. Also around this time the Pet War started, with Sapnap killing someones(i forgot oops) pet. And then more pet killing. Annnnd then even more.

Then there was the L'Manberg eletion. There was POG2020, who was Wilbur and Tommy, SWAG2020, Quackity and George, Coconut2020, Fundy and Nihachu, and Schlatt2020 which was Schlatt. Oh yeah and he got unbanned btw

SWAG2020 and Schlatt2020 decided to combine their votes, thus Shclatt became president and Quackity his vp. Oh and ever since the election Quackity has this grudge against George bc he slept through the election. Schlatt renamed L'Manberg to Manberg, and exiled Tommy and Wilbur from it.

Schlatt is a evil dictator who likes power. He and Quackity started fighting, and so Quackity became part of Tommy and Wilbur's side. Around this time was The Battle of the Lake and The Burning Eiffel Tower, both part of the pet war. (It seems like a innocent war but its actually brutal lmao) Also (irl) Mr. Beast had a $10,000 Taco Bell gift card hunt. Eret won. It was at the cords 6969,420, because haha funny number haha weed number. This has nothing to do with the lore but yeah. Eret also became King of the SMP 

Then there was the Manberg festival. It was to celebrate democracy, but Tubbo puts it as "i decorated my own execution" bc he helped decorate it, but he was murdered there. At the festival was the Manberg Massicare, where Technoblade was forced to shoot tubbo, but he released a firework rocket kiling Tubbo, Schlatt, Quackity, and a few others. Many people lost one of their canon lives. Wilbur went all J.D like and planted 11 stacks of TNT underneath Manberg, and wanted to blow it up.

Pogtopia was formed, which is a ravine which i think is underneath? manberg? Which included basically everybody who wasn't neutral or with schlatt. On November 16 was the Manberg VS Pogtopia war, but the Badlands were also there. The Badlands is a nation of four people: Bbh, Skeppy, Awesamdude, and Antfrost. They faught with the loosing side, so the chaos could continue. Eret disobeyed Dream and got stripped of his royalty, and gave it to George. Oh and during this time, George had no idea there was a war and was building a cottagecore mushroom house with callahan and was very confused with all the death messages in the chat. Schlatt died canonically of a heart attack or stroke (no one knows tbh). Tommy became president, passed it to wilbur bc he still has unfinished buissness with dream (the discs), and wilbur passed it to Tubbo, who made Tommy his vp. Technoblade then argued about how government is bad, and they're just repeating history. Philza Minecraft joined the server, but no one could find him, until Wilbur blew up L'Manberg (they rechanged the name also). Wilbur then made Philza kill him, so Wilbur also became canonically dead. Then Techno, still mad at L'Manberg and governments, summoned two withers and made it attack the others. The Geogre decided to check out what was happening and helped fight. After the chaos, Captain Puffy and ConnorEatsPants joined the smp. About one to two weeks later Vikkstar and LazarBeam joined, then about three months after that Ranboo joined.

They rebuilt L'Manberg on stilts, and there water where the explosion was, but now with coral and stuff to make it all pretty. Tommy and Ranboo decided to go steal from Georges mushroom house, but then also griefed it and burnt it, and Dream, being a George simp, built obsidian walls around L'Manberg. They took Tommy to court, and was put on probation. Then Tommy got exiled (again) but this time by his own best friend. This made Quackity vp and Fundy secutary of state. Dream also took Georges king thing and gave it back to Eret because Eret has a good relationship with everybody, whereas George being King just caused chaos cause hes close to Dream. Quackity and Karl made Mexican L'Manberg, and George and Sapnap joined in also. War against Dream SMP, it was a negotiation and it got renamed into El Rapids (reference to Chilling in Cedar Rapids, which Hilary Clinton once said, and Quackity referenced it, got it trending #1 one twitter (well i mean dsmp gets things trending like everyday but), and got DONALD TRUMP TO SUBTWEET HIM. (This happened irl)

In his exile, Ghostbur (wilbur as ghost) and Tommy made Logstedshire, and Dream was often there to watch him. Dream then blew it up, and now Tommy is living with Techno in his arctic place. Currently, Quackity made a thing called The Butcher Army, so they could execute Techno. Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy, and I also think Ranboo? are trying to get another festival, and yes its a secret execution plan, but for them to kill Dream, who they realized is who they need to kill first. The disc war is still not over. Tommy has one of his discs, but Skeppy is in possesion of the other one.

Unluckily for Tommy (reguarding the discs), something happened in the Badlands. Bbh was digging out his underground statue room (he plans to make a statue of everyone of the server) and found this crimson egg. He, Antfrost, and Captain Puffy kinda got possesed. Also since Skeppy didn't really hang out on the server at night, but bbh does (OF FUCK I FORGOT TO MENTION HE AND BBH ARE BEST FRIENDS) Captain Puffy created Discount Skeppy, which is her in a Skeppy skin. Skeppy found out, had a little conflict with her during her stream, but it was resolved, and at one point in the stream, he asked bbh to choose between him and the egg, and when bbh didn't answer, he went to the egg, put himself inside it, and logged off. Couple days later, bbh and puffy got him out, hes now possed by the crimson, called Technoblade his "best friend" infront of bbh, and is now living in a grass hut. Bad is convinced theres still some skeppt left, but yeah. Skeppy also wanted to burn the disc.

End of lore for now, bc its like if you miss ONE STREAM YOU MISS LIKE A REALLY IMPORTANT EVENT AND ITS STRESSFUL

Not much part of lore but Nihachu and Captain Puffy once went on a date. They’re both bi irl and Puffy was on Nihachu’s Love or Host (twitch dating show. its really entertaining) Captain Puffy was a contestant, and chose love. (LoH is also how Nihachu and Wilbur met.) 

Funfact: Theres 5 irl lgbtq+ ppl on the server (people who came out, anyways cause you never know, ya know?) Antfrost is gay, Eret, Nihachu, Captain Puffy are all bi, and Karl Jacobs is ace spec 

Family stuff: Philza Minecraft (he'll come up later) had two twins with a Samsung Smart Refrigerator in the 70's. The two twins being Wilbur and Technoblade (he'll come up later also) and also had another son, Tommy. They also adopted Tubbo, who they found in a box on the side of the road. When he grew up, Wilbur met Sally the Salmon, and they had a fox together (dont ask just go with it), which was Fundy. (The character) Fundy is trans, and yeah . Bbh is a dad to sapnap and yeah

Oh and a new member is coming on today on Quackity’s stream (twitch.tv/quackityhq at 5pm CST if you want to watch) 

I left out some parts, sorry, but theres always the wiki...

Wilbur Soot is also a musician! He wrote I’m In Love With an Egirl, The Internet Ruined Me, and Your New Boyfriend. (did you know the last one beat taylor swift for #1 trending on youtube? idk why but im really proud of him for that) They’re all catJam’s. Go listen!

[dnvrsmedia]

Coming out

Carol Danvers x Barnes! Reader

Bucky Barnes x Reader (father/child)

warnings: mention of torture (Hydra) but nothing explicit or in depth, anxiety.

summary: you have been dating Carol Danvers for a while & decide it’s finally time to come out to your dad, Bucky Barnes.

AN: HAPPY NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY! i’m proud of anyone who is out or isn’t out. your sexuality & gender is 100000% valid. i love each & every one of you!! more october themed fics will be coming your way :))

y/s = your sexuality btw

You sat on the shared couch in the compounds living room twiddling with the fabric of your cardigan. A look of contemplation and anxiety washes over your face. You’ve been secretly dating your wonderful girlfriend, Carol for about three months now. Every second you two had together was nothing less than fantastic. You never felt so strongly connected with someone in your life before. Just thinking about her calms you down a bit.You want to tell everyone how you feel about her, but you’re terrified to come out to your dad.

You just found out the news of Bucky being your dad about a couple years before you met Carol. All your life you thought your parents didn’t want you. They used Bucky’s blood samples and a plethora of evil scientific doctor shit to make you. You were kept in a Hydra facility until you were 16. You and Bucky rarely ever interacted due to fear that somehow the two of you would find out. One night, you were on the brink of giving up. You started to act out in hopes that they’d do something about you instead of forcing you to train. They wanted to teach you a lesson, so instead they decided on throwing you into Bucky’s cell for the night.

They tried to instill fear into you and the other soldiers. Whispers of rumors surrounding your dad tried to make it seem like he killed anyone in his path. At the moment you didn’t understand why you didn’t fear him. You felt safe with Bucky and he surprisingly protected you. That whole night, Bucky looked after you. He let you sleep on his bed and use his pathetic excuse of a blanket that they gave everyone. Bucky didn’t sleep a wink. He felt it in him to make sure that he protected you no matter what.

After you got saved by S.H.I.E.L.D, you didn’t hear or see him until you turned 23. This occurred when Steve was on the hunt for his best friend. You followed him to where your dad stayed in Bucharest, Romania. You were incessant that you wanted to see the man who protected you from the horrid behavior or Hydra. Steve was reluctant, but that didn’t stop you. Of course when you later found out that Bucky was your father and Steve knew all along you were absolutely livid. 

With all of this craziness and all of the stress, you and your dad managed to create a beautiful relationship. You guys practically do everything together to make up for lost time. When Carol started to come into the scene, you could tell that Bucky noticed a shift in how you acted and how often you two hung out. I mean he is a trained spy and assassin for god sales of course he noticed.

You love your dad with all of your heart, but you’re absolutely terrified that this might ruin your relationship. You grew up having no one, so you’re stuck wondering if this is truly worth the risk. Carol is hopefully the last relationship you’re going to have. You want to grow old with her and nothing anyone can say will sway the way you feel. Carol thinks it’s silly for you to even think that Bucky wouldn’t accept you just because he was born in a different time. She loves to make jokes that he isn’t even straight himself! You let out a shaky sigh and head into the kitchen where everyone is at.

“Oh come on! You’re telling me that you could bench press the Statue of Liberty? I don’t believe it!,” Everyonr groans. “I just can’t believe it, Carol i’m sorry!” Tony teases as he takes a swig of his coffee.

You walk into the kitchen and lock eyes with Carol. She winks at you and you automatically blush. You walk towards her and grab a coffee mug.

“Hey beautiful, are you alright?” Carol asks you while everyone else is submerged in their own conversations. You nod your head, but she doesn’t buy it. She places a had over your shaky one and looks at you in the eyes.

“I’m gonna tell him today.” You exhale. She gives you a caring smile and rubs her thumb back and forth on your arm. She always knows how to calm you down. With that, Bucky enters the kitchen with a loud yawn. You and Carol quickly move hands and separate.

“Do you want me to stay?” Carol asks you and you nod once more.

“Good morning y/n.” You dad says groggily. You giggle at his disheveled appearance.He must have quite literally just woken up. You walk up to him and give him a hug.

“Morning. Um Carol and I wanna talk to you after you get your breakfast if that’s alright?” You shakily say as he looks down at you with a face full of concern.

“Of course. Is everything okay?” He asks and looks up at Carol. She nods quickly.

“Yeah everything is fine don’t worry.” You pat him on the back. “We were gonna eat outside if you want to come with us.” You add on. God you can feel your nerves creeping up every inch of your body.

“Sounds good, darling. I’ll be out there soon.” He opens the fridge and starts making himself breakfast.

You take carols hand in your free hand and walk outside the compound. Your nerves are basically pouring out of you at this point. You can’t believe that you’re this nervous. You dad has been nothing but generous to you, but you can’t help but to stress. Carol takes your and and kisses your palm.

“Baby, you’re going to be okay. I’m proud of you no matter what happens although I know he is going to do nothing but support you and support us. I’m here every step of the way.” She caresses your cheek and gives you a soft kiss.

“Thank you, Carol. I don’t know what id do without you.” You sigh.

“I don’t know either I mean i’m pretty important.” She cockily smirks. You let out a giggle and smack her arm.

Your dad soon interrupts your playful time with Carol “I brought out waters for everyone since you mentioned that you need to start hydrating more. What did I miss?”

You take a deep breath and carol squeezes your hand.

“Dad, I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while now, but I was scared that i’d fuck up our relationship, but I really care about Carol and I think it’s time you know. Uh i’m y/s and I’ve been dating Carol for three months.” You blurt the last part out.

The table was silent for a few seconds until Bucky starts laughing. You and Carol are both very confused and stare at Bucky.

“You think- BAHAH- you think I didn’t know!” Bucky finally spits out.

“Huh?” Both you and Carol say.

“I mean I know i’m old but jesus christ i’m not THAT old.” He chuckles.

“Actually, you are THAT old.” Carol jokes. You giggle and smack her arm.

“Watch it Danvers.” Bucky playfully rolls his eyes.

“Honey,” Your dad takes your hand. “I don’t care who you date. As long as they make you happy. I couldn’t give a single fuck about if you’re straight or not. I mean come on I’ve had a few not so straight lovers in my past.”

You and Carol blurt out “Dad!” and “I told you!” at the same time. Bucky starts laughing once more.

“Watch it, Danvers.” Your dad says once more.

“Oh and Carol?” Your dad calls out.

“Yes sir?” Carol answers.

“If you ever think of hurting y/n-”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sir.”

[nikkoliferous]

Phase One: Thor

Since I was looking up my past live-blog of the novel and realising how annoying and repetitive reading through it all is because of my having structured it as a bunch of reblogs, I’ve decided to organize it all into one long-ass post instead. In case anyone else wants to read it in the future. Or in case I decide to re-read it. Because I’m hilarious. 😅

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO

My Hilarious Yet Wrathful Overview Of Phase One: Thor, Redux

—

If your son who’s to become king requires a babysitter to not screw it all up and also the idea of him being king is stressful enough to put you into a coma, maybe, uh… reconsider doing that? Just a thought.

But you see here why Odin was so deadset on Thor becoming king, despite him being ill-suited for the role. It’s not about what’s best for Asgard; it’s about personal legacy. Thor is Odin’s mini me, and Loki is very much not. There are places within the text where Odin laments Thor “lacking his father’s wisdom” (he’s definitely inherited your humility, though, Odin!), but he hopes for Thor to grow into a “wise king” like himself. Whereas he holds no such illusions (lol, pun) that Loki will ever take after him.

now with tag commentary! #this scene is in the script and both novelizations #(though in reading this novel seems to just be a more complete version of the junior novel? #idk i'm confused because they're supposedly written by different authors but so far the text is identical) #and it drives me insane each time i read it

“Haha, I’m a warmongering piece of shit, isn’t it funny?”

I know, I know. I try to cut Asgard some slack for being such a militaristic culture because social changes happen slowly and when you live for thousands of years per generation, it makes sense that your views on things like war would be regressive. The text says Odin has ruled Asgard for tens of thousands of years (so much for taking Loki’s “give or take 5,000 years” line literally; sure, the Odinsleep would have extended Odin’s lifespan, but by that much? Idk).

Still, fuck Odin. Especially since he’ll eventually try to shame Loki for doing the same thing he’s fucking boasting about here. And on a much smaller scale too.

…is it, though?

I actually think Loki’s relationship with being the centre of attention is really interesting in its complexity and we don’t discuss it enough. I’ve said this before, but he strikes me as the sort of person who craves attention but also wouldn’t really know what to do with it if he had it. He craves it as a result of neglect, because he’s never been shown recognition or validation. This is why he seems to revel in it in Stuttgart, even in (or maybe especially in?) his brainwashed state. But he also frequently comes across as pretty introverted and has horrible self-esteem, so I think on another level, sustained, genuine attention would make him feel kind of uncomfortable. Loki seems to believe that in order to be loved or respected, he has to literally be Thor, though. And Thor has always been the centre of attention, so for Loki, attention is synonymous with respect.

I find Loki’s relationship with wanting attention especially fascinating because I too both crave and fear it. As a borderline, I need it. When no one is paying attention to me, I lose my sense of identity. I feel as though I literally cease to exist. It’s excruciatingly painful. And yet, I have no authentic sense of self; I’m just a chameleon, and the closer people get to me, the more likely it is they’ll see behind my mask. They’ll realise it’s all a show and that I’m actually no one. And then they’ll leave. I can’t help wondering if that’s how Loki feels sometimes too.

Wait, what? You mean goat. His horns are shaped like a goat’s. This is a ram: 

This is a goat:

This is Loki:

Do you see now? They’re like a goat. Not a ram. Not a cow. A GOAT.

This book was written before Ragnarok was a thing, so it may be unfair to connect the two, but it still seems worth noting that it was Thor who reduced Loki to being no more than a trickster to begin with. “You could be more,” my ass. Loki’s problem has never been that he was one-dimensional; it was always that the people in his life, including Thor, refused to see any other dimensions to him. Which makes those words particularly cruel—as if they aren’t cruel enough already, what with the physical torture and all. 

Always happy to have cause to point out that

Loki was on Thor clean-up duty their whole lives; he certainly was not trying to kill Thor.

People like to point to Loki’s attempted genocide of the Jötnar and attempted(-ish? lol) conquest of Earth as proof that he’s some kind of violent maniac. But in a little place I like to call reality, Loki was historically far less aggressive and bloodthirsty than his peers.

Question: why is one conqueror evil and the other is righteously entitled to ruling over the Nine Realms?

Asgardian exceptionalism FTW

I can’t even begin to imagine what would lead you to expect such a thing, Odin. 😂

Uh, ‘cause it is?? And also their planet is MELTING without it??

This is all only within the first two chapters, btw. Lmao

—

—

—

“Looking for answers,” my foot.

YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU??

#i mean unless you knew heimdall #he only commits treason on days that end in y

—

—

What’d I say? Thor clean-up dutyyyyy 

Just wanna remind everyone that this 

is why he’s smiling during this scene 

because it makes me laugh every time. 😂 

—

My heart breaks every time I remember that second excerpt because literally ALL OF IT happened to him when he survived falling through the wormhole. My poor boy. 😭

But also of note… Loki gets cold (and also does not like being cold). This interests me because 1) as many are aware, the prevalent headcanon that Loki has a low body temperature irritates me and 2) it possibly(?) lends weight to the theory that he may not be fully Jötun, whether by virtue of his birth or Odin’s spell.

Haha, look at this Feminist Icon™ trying to take credit for his female friend’s accomplishments! Truly inspiring. 

#for some reason the ragnarok lovers have somehow decided that thor is both a feminist and lesbian icon #whatever that means 🤷‍♀️ #and i'm still trying very hard to figure out why #is it literally just because he *says* he respects women or whatever in that dumb rambly conversation with valkyrie?

Ooh… you were so close to getting the point, Volstagg. So close. Take your tongue off Odin’s boot for just a couple minutes longer.

Also, the author just forgot the name of the Casket. How did this book get published? 😂

JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS, HUH?

Because fuck Loki, amirite? He, uh… he’s a prince too, you know.

Also… Fandral, you dweeb 😂

…am I reading too much into this, or did Odin just literally forget that Loki exists?

On the other hand, the author also seemed to forget Loki existed for most of this chapter, so who knows. 🤷‍♀️

lmao @ Jane immediately trying to convince herself she’s too rational to be attracted to a stranger 

Honestly, though, big mood. 

Just your periodic reminder that Thor’s sycophantic friends KNEW Loki was right and decided to throw him under the bus anyway. 

Just as I’ve always said: That was it. That was their ENTIRE rationale. That Loki *could* have done it, therefore he must have. Please tell me these people have nothing to do with Asgard’s justice system.

…lol, jk, Asgard has no justice system.

Ok, first of all, no.

Second: thank you, Fandral. You’re a self-absorbed cad, but also evidently Thor’s least stupid friend.

Thirdly, how…? First, it was, “Loki arranged all this because he’s jealous of Thor.” Now they’ve suddenly jumped all the way to, “All of Asgard is in danger.” What exactly does Sif think Loki is planning? He’s gonna, what… assassinate Odin and then sell Asgard to the Jötnar?

—

Please stop hurting me.

Just so there’s no confusion: this one sentence explains everything Loki did for the rest of the movie. It explains how a person who has been historically non-aggressive suddenly transforms into a warmonger. To prove himself a real Asgardian, like his brother and father and grandfather. 

—

…why did Odin fall into the Odinsleep in two completely different scenes in this book? I’m super confused.

Also, we really need to talk about how cruel it is of Marvel to keep forcing Loki to prove his loyalty again and again and again when he’s been doing so almost literally since we met him. And by “we need to talk about it”, I mean I need to tie Kevin Feige and co. to a chair and spend a minimum of five hours lecturing them on how poorly they understand their own fucking character.

Let’s just be clear here: they’re talking about Loki. They’re saying Loki, their LEGITIMATE king, is an enemy of Asgard, based on evidence so paper-thin it’s practically invisible. Just… please, let that sink in. Take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked up that is. 

I’m sorry (not really), but Thor was so much funnier before Ragnarok.

This scene has always kind of bugged me. If Odin removed Thor’s powers, how come he can still control the weather? Confusing.

So what exactly was Thor’s plan anyway, before he realised he couldn’t lift Mjölnir? He was just gonna call on Heimdall to help him commit treason AGAIN, show up on Asgard against the expressed command of his king, and… Odin would just shrug and be like, “You got me, son! I guess I can’t keep you down. Welcome home!”?

…I mean, I guess that more or less is what happened in the end, but it’s hard to imagine it would have still gone down that way without all the stuff that happened with Loki. Idk.  

#look what i'm saying is... thor is not exactly a thinking person #no one on asgard is a thinking person #except loki but he's crazy now so he's also thinking somewhat poorly lol

Cool, Thor. Now imagine feeling that way for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and develop a little fucking empathy for your brother.

But you won’t.

You’ll brush off his feelings of worthlessness as “imagined slights”. 😒

Nice that somebody knows how the royal line of succession works, I guess… 

That sound you hear? Yeah, that’s just my heart breaking. NBD. 

First, they mislabelled it the Casket of Eternal Winters. Now it’s the Cask of Ancient Winters. Author must have been thirsty when they wrote this. Lol 

Look, not to nitpick, but this is not the recommended procedure when you see a storm that you don’t believe is of supernatural origin coming. I’m just saying. Lol 

Uh… ‘cause he is?? And your pals are committing treason AGAIN, Thor, so it technically is responding to a threat to Asgard. Just FYI.

Anyways, this is an important point that doesn’t get made often enough. People want to act like Loki illegally usurped the throne somehow, but even without the deleted scene that explicitly shows Frigga passing rulership to him (a scene which is, for some reason, entirely skipped over in this book, but whatever), understand this: Loki could not have controlled the Destroyer unless he was legitimately King of Asgard. The fact that he’s able to do so is irrefutable proof that his rulership is valid.

lmao you little shit

So… here’s my issue with this scene (and with Thor as a character): He always assumes that Loki’s acting out specifically to hurt him. That Loki’s entire life and thought process revolves around Thor. He does it in this scene, he does it in The Avengers… it’s just a chronic thing with Thor. Everything is viewed through the lens of Loki inexplicably hating him.

But that’s… just not accurate. Yes, Loki harbours a lot of jealousy towards Thor. But that’s not what’s happening in this scene. Loki is not trying to kill Thor here because he wants him dead; he’s doing it because Thor (and his friends) are getting in the way of Loki completing his ultimate goal. Loki tried to solve this problem non-violently, by lying about Odin being dead. It’s Thor’s friends who all but forced his hand by going behind his back and trying to bring Thor back to Asgard against Loki’s (and Odin’s!) direct orders.

For all the humility he’s learned in the past few days, this entire speech is still really all about Thor. About assuming that Loki’s doing this for personal reasons, because he holds a grudge against Thor for some unknown reason. This is implicit in his request to “take [my life] and end this.” It never even occurs to him that his friends are traitors to the Crown and Loki, as King of Asgard, is perhaps justified in pursuing them.

It also needs to be acknowledged that Thor’s apology here is hollow, even if it’s ultimately coming from his heart, because he has no idea what he’s apologising for. “Whatever I have done to wrong you” is not an apology. An apology addresses specific hurtful actions taken and commits to not repeating those mistakes in the future. Thor cannot commit to not repeating the hurtful things he’s done, because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Despite his best intentions, what Thor is doing here is actually kind of manipulative. He’s not addressing any substantive issue between the two of them; he’s just trying to talk Loki down. And it ultimately fails not because Loki doesn’t care or because he wants Thor dead, but because it doesn’t actually change anything.

Finally and only semi-relatedly, we should maybe at some point talk about the fact that Loki, who is stated to be a master tactician, has displayed a weird pattern of hardly ever being as lethal as he could be. He freezes Heimdall in place instead of killing him outright; he backhands Thor with the Destroyer instead of incinerating him; he, well… *gestures vaguely at almost the entirety of the first Avengers movie* Anytime the violence is even a little bit personal, he seems to hedge. Odd behaviour for somebody who’s supposedly super evil.

I’m sorry, I know I’ve pointed it out at least a hundred times before, but I just can’t encounter this scene in any form without taking a moment to appreciate how underrated and hilarious it is.

I also genuinely wonder how many Ragnarok stans who have accused me of having no sense of humour, have failed to laugh at moments like this one. Kinda feel like if you need to have the comedy spoonfed to you in the form of ass jokes, maybe you’re the one whose sense of humour is lacking. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s be super clear: this is not what happened. Loki did not betray Odin; he was betrayed by Odin. He did not open Asgard to its enemies; he attempted, misguidedly, to destroy Asgard’s enemies. And he most certainly did not commit suicide out of a sense of guilt.

I’m not saying Loki did nothing wrong, nor am I saying he feels no regret for the lives he has taken. What I’m saying is there’s no indication that he believes he betrayed Odin or Asgard in the process. Which makes perfect sense, because he didn’t. Everything he tried to do was for Odin and Asgard. It was misguided and horrible, yes, but it can hardly be classified as a betrayal.

The insurmountable burden on Loki is not that he did terrible things, but that no matter what he does or how hard he tries, Odin will never look at him with anything but contempt. Consider once more these passages from the very beginning of the book, at Thor’s coronation:

—

Consider that this book goes to great pains to point out that Odin favours Thor because Thor is a warrior like him. And yet even when Loki embraces that, even when he acts more war-like than ever before, Odin rejects him— just as he always has.

There is a reason why this moment is the last time Loki will ever call Odin his father. Because he realises once and for all that, no, nothing he tries will ever be good enough; no, Odin won’t ever look at him with pride. That is Loki’s burden. That is why he lets go.

The epilogue is really just two pages of making me want to vomit. 

There’s your party where Thor and a certain subset of the fandom insist that Loki was mourned. There’s barely an indication here that anyone even perceives his demise as a negative thing.

“[Sif] could see Frigga thought [Loki was dead] as well” also contradicts the tie-in comic for TDW, so I don’t know what the author is on about there. Unlike the majority of Marvel comics, the tie-in comics are canon to the MCU, so it’s a bizarre statement to make.

COULD YOU SMEAR THE DEAD* ABUSE VICTIM A LITTLE HARDER, PLEASE? Fucking hell.

No matter how many times I encounter this scene, in whatever format, I still fail to become desensitized to how disgusting it is. I realise there’s a good chance that whatever version of events Thor has been told was twisted at best; but how you can look at a man whose son has just committed suicide under any circumstances and say there will never be a better father than that guy, is utterly beyond my capacity to understand.

And Odin’s “you’ve already made me proud” line just feels like extra salt in the wound because, again, Loki let go because he realized Odin would never say those words to him. And yet they come so damn easily when it’s Thor.

Fuck this entire family so much. I think I hate them more than Loki does. Sometimes I wonder what he would think about that. How he would react to knowing that not only is he actually loved, but that he’s so loved that people are genuinely furious at the way he’s been mistreated. That there are people who regularly devolve into full-on rants because they just can’t contain how much anger they have towards the people who hurt him. I think he’d have a hard time wrapping his head around that concept, tbh.

Anyways, to end on a not-completely-depressing note, I’m still waiting for someone at Marvel to explain how Loki knew what Thor said in this scene after plummeting into a wormhole. ‘Cause he references this conversation as Fauxdin at the end of TDW. So like… ?? Did he steal Odin’s memories before he erased them? Because that would be… kind of neat, actually. And very clever. Not entirely ethical, of course, but it’s Odin, so fuck ethics.

WELP, THAT’S IT. Thanks for following along with my dumbassery, hope you enjoyed yourselves. Lol

[vaguely-concerned]

R-r-r-rewatch thoughts for The Mandalorian S2 Ep2

(or Chapter 10 as they seem resolved to call it)

- can I just express my joy for a moment that in one episode we get peli, the answer to my pleas for female representation in the ‘sketchy middle aged car mechanic’ niche, and a female alien designed with no consideration towards sexiness. (I mean I’m sure there’s someone. There is always someone somewhere on the Internet, is the bitter truth history has shown to us. but it’s not the intention behind the design haha)  

- they do take great pains to deliberately show you boba’s armour several times both in the recap and in the episode itself, so never despair he is very likely still on his way onto our screens once more

- this dude holding the baby hostage wanting specifically the jetpack in exchange is the one (1) break this whole episode gave din lol 

also the Patented Mando Finger Curl of Stress while he talked softly and calmly to not promp this asshole to make a sudden move... the most endearing character tic, I love my space cowboy dad so much 

- fun continuity detail: din is all out of whistling birds now, and you can see it here!

I wonder if he could still use the same mechanism with different ‘ammo’, it’s just not as effective? from the way the armorer spoke whistling birds seem quite rare and it would be an inefficient use of beskar if that’s the only thing it can be loaded with

 - I love how after the last episode, a 50 min epic with a bunch of original trilogy significance and impressive technical achievements and exciting character reveals, I was like ‘yeah okay I suppose that is quite interesting’, and this mess/comedy of inconveniences is the thing that fully makes my brain tip into the obsessive ‘BABY AND DAD SHOW!! BABY AND DAD SHOW!!!!!’ mind state lol

- ah the traditional ‘mando trudging slowly but steadily through the desert’ montage we all love to see (I hope this is going to be a Thing for the second episode of every season from now on) 

Also I assume his suit has some sort of temperature regulation built in and that’s how he didn’t, y’know. die under the blazing desert sun

-

CAT FIGHT CAT FIGHT man I love the jawa. also mando doesn’t even glance over at them, really emphasizing how he’s like. done with this entire day (and it’s all barely even getting started din! i’m sorry)

 yodito’s look in this scene tho... he’s like ‘we’ve Seen some shit lady’ (actually I think he’s staring at ‘dr mandible’ like O___o. it’s been a long day for a lil boy) 

you get to see dr mandible’s cards a few times, so I assume anyone who knows the rules of... sabacc? probably? could figure out beforehand that he was in a bad spot. (the star wars fanbase is one of those where I KNOW the rules exist somewhere, and I know people who know those rules exist too)  

- that sound the baby keeps making -- the ‘boo-a’, sometimes with a p-sound at the end -- if that’s the precursor to him saying any variation whatsoever of ‘dad’ or ‘papa’ or ‘baba’ or even ‘buir’ or anything, I will die. I will sink to the ground in a heap and never get up (the way he keeps seeking out gaze contact with the helmet and seems perfectly satisfied with it too... fasdhfaskdjhl my FEELINGS)

- it seems confirmed in this ep that the mandos who died on nevarro did so while holding off the enemy so the rest(probably especially the children) could get away; some of them appear to have escaped. which I guess is a small relief

- 

frog lady stepping out of the shadows and into our hearts

I like that her firm nod after Peli translates ‘her husband has seen them’ lets us know she understands... basic? is that the common tongue thing in star wars there’s just so many to remember across fandoms lol? perfectly well, even if she can’t speak it. 

- mando might be running low on ammo for the pulse rifle, if the fact that he hasn’t replaced the missing cartridge on his... bandolier belt thingy is any indication

ETA: actually ignore me this has been a thing since the literal first episode of the show my brain just had a hiccup lol

- so baby seems to use a little bit of the force to pull the eggs towards him -- I wonder how often he ‘taps into it’ or if it’s always ‘on’ in the background for him. if so I guess there’s no wonder he’s so hungry (but also... kid you can’t end this lady’s entire family line like that one cat who singlehandedly made extinct a whole species of bird! D:)

- din so rarely gets openly angry, he just gets passive aggressive and grumpy. and that’s probably not the healthiest way to deal with things but I love him

- frog lady reacts so strongly to when din sends the ping when nothing else woke her up, I wonder if she can hear more frequencies than a human

- 

hello darkness my old frieeennnddd

- 

proof nr 1508 that din does not starve this baby you guys, he even has his own little tray just the right size for him! as it happens the baby simply seems to prefer eating things that are... still alive in some capacity. which, uh. maybe they can invest in some form of non-sentient crickets or something for him to hunt down and.... oh dear

- 

Look how they massacred my boy

By the way I finally managed to put into words why the Razor Crest -- and particularly the way it keeps getting beaten to hell and back and patched up again --  is so symbolically important and meaningful to me in this show in this post over here! it’s always a great relief to me when I can finally understand what the hell I’ve been going on about all this time and this was one of those lol

-  honestly if it weren’t for frog lady and (more importantly) the baby I think there’s a slight chance din would’ve gone ‘well I had a good-ish run of it for a while there’ and just let the ice claim him haha   

- “Why don’t you come over here and give me a hand. Make yourself useful” This is the one time in the episode I think he crosses the line into just being a dick for a moment (but noticeably the baby isn’t just a little hurt at this reaction, he’s clearly surprised and confused, which means this really does not happen often. after the time mando’s been having recently I guess a moment’s snappishness is understandable haha. he does follow up right after with being much more responsive and attentive when the baby toddles away from him, so it feels like it’s going to be okay)

also the ‘boo-ap’ sound is there again when he’s trying to get din’s attention. just sayin’ 

when din comes over to see the footprints baby makes a declarative little meep like ‘see??? I did tell you!’ haha

- it is very funny that mando is using all his technology meant to track down dangerous bounties in the grungy depths of the criminal underworld... to find a naked lady just chillin’ in a hot spring 

- 

cue the ‘father is evil?’ memes fsadfda. actually the funniest thing about this moment (apart from the fabulous finger acting) is that din actually snatches a few eggs out of the baby’s reach more subtly right before, and that baby only whines for ALL OF ONE SECOND before he goes to sniff around for other food possibilities fkadfhjkds. from my experience with human children he’s a lot less prone to tantrums. yodito doesn’t get mad, he gets even 

- baby running towards din through the hatching spiderlings like ‘DAD I FUCKED UUUUUUP’, din’s little strangled ‘ngh’ sound as he picks the baby up and watches all the creepy crawlies come out... *chef kiss* impeccable 

(that little ‘ngh’ and the soft shocked ‘ah ah AH!’s from when he goes flying at the beginning of the episode... pedro pascal and his voice work for this character gives me so much life. in some ways din has this sort of dignity and grace and in other ways he uh extremely doesn’t. he gets to be cool but also vulnerable in ways a lot of male main characters don’t and it’s probably why I love him so much) 

btw here is that moment when din moves to hold the baby tightly against him with both hands as the big spider appears, because it gets me right in the heart... it such an instinctive thing of holding on to the dearest thing you’ve got before something bad is about to happen

fdsafhsdakjlfhsdkjlhfsdajhf oh my god the baby is clutching din’s finger with his little hand during the chase!!!! 😭😭😭

this FUCKING SHOW has just WEAPONIZED putting in small details everywhere to convey the love and tenderness and attachment felt by a little muppet doll even where only weirdos like me will frame by frame their way through the video to see it I am so MAD

- frog lady going ‘fuck this’ and bounding along is  e v e r y t h i n g 

- din is an amazing shot, though, he doesn’t seem to miss a single one in this whole scene (then again there’s something to shoot at basically everywhere one can take aim so lol)

-

baby hiding behind/half hugging din’s boot as he tries to get the doors closed hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can’t breathhhhheeeee 

honestly every single one of the baby’s proximity seeking behaviours in this ep has me on my knees 

- it’s very unfair to play the heroic happy mando music like everything is going to be fine and then have a huge fuck-off spider drop down from the ceiling and break it off mid-tune, the mandalorian, you have trained me in certain ways and now do you betray me??? how can I trust again

- the camera work in the scene with the new republic guys gives such a good sense of the discomfort of being judged from on high by someone or something you can’t really see -- the glare of the lights blocking out everything in the shots from din’s pov makes it feel like a tense interrogation (the new republic dude who is actually dave filoni has such a look of fondness as he watches din tho it’s kind of sweet)

- ...oh no I think baby was actually considering munching on that dismembered spider leg YODITO NO JUST EAT YOUR KRAYT DRAGON BABY

- hngh this is a weird filler episode and it has my entire heart. I suspect we might get some episodes of a more stationary baby between active ones like this -- you can tell a little bit in this episode that especially having him running around fast is quite difficult to have look natural, they likely save that effort up for when it best serves the narrative  

[sanjuno]

You're doing NaNo?! Can you tell us anything about what you'll be doing???

SPOILERS FOR SANJUNO’S NANO 2020 PROJECT

No Evil Abolishing Resentment System

Transmigrator!Madara meets Reincarnator!Tobirama (… 55 times in a row.)

For NaNoWriMo 2020 – How Many AUs Can I Fit In One Fic?

·      0 Tails Interlude

o   Meet Sanzan-han

o   Introduction to System driven Quick-Transmigration isekai plot

o   “The seeds of evil are as follows, to hear of evil and take no action against it, to see evil and take no action against it, to speak of evil and take no action against it.”

o   “To do nothing in the face of evil is not a neutral act.”

o   “The only thing required for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing.”

·      1st World:

o   Crystal Nuclei Zombie Apocalypse with Ability Users and levelling up AU

o   Politician!Madara ended up being shoved into a zombie tide by people who thought he was too strong/disliked him before the apocalypse

o   Scientist!Tobirama really regrets not preventing that when Zombie Emperor Madara breaks through the city walls and kills everyone in Konoha Base

o   Reborn!Tobirama is determined to complete the vaccine he was working on in his first life – also keep Madara alive so he can’t become a super zombie

§  Tobirama would like to say he is surprised by Madara’s competency in zombie annihilation but he remembers how terrifying Zombie King Madara was so he really isn’t shocked that Empowered Human Madara is just as much the living embodiment of Nightmare Fuel

o   Madara as evolved Zombie catnip with a mouthy pet fish

§  Madara is absolutely disgusted by the Z-poc Virus undead they are gross, rotting, and go squelchwhen he hits them.

§  Some zombie bits get stuck in Madara’s hair. He has a screaming tantrum and promptly sets the entire horde on fire.

§  Pro-tip: Career politicians should avoid indulging in a crying fit over getting their precious beautiful hair dirty during a fight if they want to be taken seriously by their military escort even if they areso hilariously OP they can indulge in whiny hysterics and not die horribly as a result

o   The Zombies are Zetsu

o   Oh look Madara’s blood has the key component to creating the zombie vaccine who would have thought

o   There is so much angry sex for stress relief, just… so much

o    

·      1 Tail Interlude

o   Madara is pissed off that he accidently ended up in a relationship with Tobirama

o   Madara wants a refund on this System

o   Sanzan-han explains the fine print of “No Evils Abolishing Resentment System” – the Target must have resentment both towards Madara and from Madara

o   Madara’s first world was intended to lock his target

o   Switching targets will result in a full reset of his karma to level 1 – no cheating by using his previous incarnations accumulated points to get a head start any more

o   Madara’s only other valid targets approaching Tobirama’s stats were Hashirama and Mito

o   Madara could target someone else but without the heavy accumulation of karma like the Senju-Uchiha bloodfeud situation it would take thousands of lifetimes to accrue 10 tails

o   Madara is so mad ^_^

·      2nd World

o   Japanese Classic Fable AU

o   Crane Wife!Madara being Tsundere with his husband

o   Madara is accused of theft and Scholar!Tobirama is convinced to spy on his wife’s weaving

o   Madara gets caught ripping out feathers to weave into silks that are sold to pay for Tobirama’s exams

o   Madara flies away and is shot down by hunters

o   Reborn!Tobirama who is more than a little obsessed with making sure his wife doesn’t have a reason to fly off again

o   Madara doesn’t really understand why Tobirama is trying to prevent him from doing anything productive this is weird

o   Zetsu is a corrupted monk trying to capture Madara for his feathers/demon core

·      3rd World

o   Galactic Empire Mecha Pilots with psychic powers and enhanced bodies versus the Zerg Horde

o   Arranged Marriages for the noble class occur based on genetic advantages rather than affection

o   Ace Pilot/Mecha Engineer!Tobirama pays less than zero attention to his nominal spouse and heir in favour of developing weapons to fight against the Zerg

o   SSS Ace Pilot!Madara resigned to being ignored by spouse, makes friends with in-laws for sheer spite

o   Madara framed for sabotage – dies holding off a Zerg swarm

o   Science child!Kagami killed by kidnappers

o   Reborn!Tobirama pays better attention to his spouse and child while fighting to end the Zerg threat

o   The Zerg are Zetsu

o   Madara rolls his eyes and sets the Zerg Queen (Kaguya) on fire – Tobirama confused and aroused by his spouse

·      2 Tails Interlude

o   Madara wants to know if he’s going to be required to save the world every single time he’s due to earn a new tail

o   Sanzan-han: Sources say “probably”

o   Madara would question the heavy-handed implication that Zetsu was just using him but he’s still super pissed off about being trapped in a cave for 50 years and then possessed by a demon goddess thing so he’s more than willing the blame Zetsu for all the horrible things that happened

·      4th World

o   Japanese Mythical Creature AU

o   Kitsune!Madara saves the life of War General/Prince!Tobirama from Yin poisoning

o   There’s a snowstorm and Madara has to warm Tobirama up

o   Madara is a Calamitous Beauty and killed by cultists who wanted his demon core

o   Reborn!Tobirama is doing his best to take responsibility

o   Zetsu is the cultists who poisoned Tobirama and killed Madara

o   Madara is super pissed off but the shrine and the garden Tobirama builds for him are really nice so maybe he won’t claw the pasty bastard’s face off

·      5th World

o   Super Heroes and Villains in a Megamind AU

o   Pyromaniacal Villain!Madara “Moon Eye” is obviously an alien and the arch nemesis of the city’s most beloved Hero, Treeman

o   Aquatic Hero “Flying Thunder”!Tobirama’s civilian-marine biologist ID keeps getting kidnapped

o   Reborn!Tobirama needs to keep Madara sane and honestly that’s easier than it sounds because Madara gets adorably flustered when given sincere compliments and is hilariously easy to distract with questions about his obviously-also-alien pet fish

o   #I accidently started dating my brother’s arch nemesis #what do I do? #waiting online for answers

o   Sanzan-han is Minion and really likes the exo-suit

o   Zetsu is an evil shadow organization trying to take control of the heroes for world domination reasons

o   Madara has an invisible Susanoo and as ridiculous as this world can be he’s having fun in it

o   “PRESENTATION!”

·      6th World

o   Immortal Cultivators AU

o   Borderline-demonic/Unorthodox Sect Leader!Madara is getting chased around by Righteous Sect Inner Disciple!Tobirama because Madara keeps nabbing all the good secret treasures that Tobirama needs to prevent the demon realm from breaking free and invading

o   Reborn!Tobirama realizes in hindsight that Original Goods!Madara was also trying to prevent the Demon Realm invasion because the Righteous Sects didn’t listen to his initial warnings

o   Tobirama eventually pins Madara down as his Dao companion to get access to the booty loot Madara has collected/protect Madara from being targeted by unscrupulous treasure hunters

o   The demons/demonic spirits are Zetsu

o   Madara is playing whack-a-Zetsu and doesn’t have time for Tobirama’s nonsense

·      3 Tails Interlude

o   Sanzan-han praises Madara for his top-notch seduction skillz

o   Madara is So Done with this stupid godsdamned fish

o   Sanzan-han mentions but doesn’t explain that the accumulation of “affection points” will start having a notable effect on Tobirama soon – so gambatte, Mada-sama!

o   Madara tries to ignore the constant hooking up in favour of plotting new ways to kill Zetsu – seeing as the creature is the only thing he can kill in the Other-Worlds without losing the “ExP” that will allow his return home

·      7th World

o   Geode Betting Modern AU

o   Carver!Madara is a picky spoiled artiste who got blamed for ruining Tobirama’s family

o   Reborn-with-Treasure-Senses Appraiser!Tobirama is determined to “get revenge in advance” on Madara only to realize what a dork Madara is

o   Tobirama frantically backs off on his face-slapping plot only to overcompensate his way into dating a crazy artist

o   #oops

o   Zetsu are the yakuza involved in rigging the Geode betting

o   Madara is confused by the lack of open warfare but thinks this is a nice vacation

·      8th World

o   Greek Monsters AU

o   Gorgon!Madara has the strongest stone-gaze in History

o   Heroic Demigod!Tobirama arrives to take off Madara’s head for prophecy reasons

o   Tobirama’s Quest ends in tragedy – turns out ghosts/guardians of the Underworld don’t turn to stone so Tobirama can’t bring his little brothers out using Madara’s decapitated head

o   Madara is hiding from Reborn!Tobirama because he wants to keep in head on his neck, fuckdammit and accidently interrupts the murder of Kawarama and Itama via even more accidental kidnapping

o   Tobirama just wants to apologize for overreacting to a very ambiguously worded prophecy that he self-fulfilled – Tobirama is really, really very sorry, really – also wtf give him back his baby brothers

o   Zetsu is the Oracle of Kaguya who killed Tobirama’s little brothers and wanted Tobirama/Madara cursed/dead

·      9th World

o   Sentinels and Guides are Known AU

o   SSS Guide!Madara is 100% going to cut a bitch if these special fucking snowflake godsdamned Sentinels don’t piss off and leave him alone

o   6-sense Alpha Sentinel Prime!Tobirama does not want a Guide who will only slow him down with their coddling nature

o   Tobirama rejects Madara/doesn’t acknowledge their nascent connection

o   Reborn!Tobirama wakes up out of a zone – wakes up after pulling the Guide he recognized far too late as his own out of the depths of the bay – and promptly terrifies his entire family by going hyper-focused and borderline feral as he takes off to hunt down his Guide

o   Tobirama’s Guide – his Guide who is still alive – still alive and not drowned

o   Reborn!Tobirama has some lingering trauma to work through btw

o   Madara terrifies so many people when he starts inducing hallucinations as a defense mechanism

o   Zetsu are dark Sentinel cult masquerading as a shady government organization

·      10th World

o   Classic D&D AU

o   Harpy Queen!Madara is being plotted against

o   Necromancer!Tobirama regrets killing Madara and keeping his soul in a jar when he finds out the truth

o   Tobirama let’s Izuna “mete justice” – protip: Uchiha Harpies are actually Furies

o   Reborn!Tobirama decides he quite enjoys being Madara’s concubine

o   Madara lays an egg

o   The Demon Gods trying to break loose and destroy all life get kicked back into the Underworld – insert Zetsu smiting here

o   Hashirama is traumatized by his little brother’s loincloth

·      4 Tails Interlude

o   Madara throws an epic tantrum over the egg-laying thing

o   Sanzan-han doesn’t understand his deal but obligingly flees screaming in terror anyway

·      11th World

o   Imperial Court AU

o   Fire Priest!Madara is given as a “bride” to Imperial Prince Tobirama to remove Tobirama from the line of succession

o   Tobirama considered a “holy child” by the Fire devotees due to his red eyes

o   Tobirama realizes too late that his opinion of his “wife” was manipulated so that he wouldn’t be able to gather his full strength to compete with his enemies

o   Reborn!Tobirama has goals to 1. Be gay, and; 2. Commit Treason

o   Zetsu as the scheming Minister who is actually the bastard child of Empress Dowager Kaguya

o   Madara turns the court upside down and shakes because he’s bored and vindictive

·      12th World

o   Beastmen in Space AU

o   The Tribes are even more stupidly competitive than shinobi Clans but have more space (lol) to spread out so they aren’t at full war with each other

o   Snow Leopard!Madara has a female beast form as most Uchiha males do – Uchiha females tend to have male Beast Forms

o   Uchiha Do Not switch forms in Public/on the Battlefield and also the Uchiha don’t gender the way the other Tribes do

o   White Tiger!Tobirama only discovers this after the Uchiha are destroyed by hostile invasion of Borg-type enemies

o   Zetsu are the Borg knockoffs

o   Reborn!Tobirama starts courting Madara because rowr and peace happens because kittens – yay!

o   Madara uses his carving skills to create power stones that allow High Level Beasts to control themselves

·      13th World

o   Castlevania-esque Vampire AU

o   Vampires and Humans share a world but live in different realities thanks to magic sub-dimensions

o   Vampire Prince!Madara is lazy and hedonistic

o   Vampire Prince!Tobirama is disdainful of Madara’s magpie brain

o   Zetsu is the Religious extremist Vampire cult that realizes that Madara is the key to tearing down the veil and bleeds him dry to shatter the barrier separating the worlds and free the first vampire Kaguya

o   Reborn!Tobirama absolutely refuses to allow the Veil to get torn down again so he gets stupidly “devoted and jealous” over his previously despised betrothed

o   Madara is rather offended that the blood drinking is sexy and also that Tobirama is a tasty snack

·      14th World

o   Merfolk AU

o   Devil Firefish Mer!Madara always knew that the merfolk from the deeper waters would only visit the Volcanic Reef to mate and leave, especially the sharks – but he had still wanted to hope for something more…

o   Great White Mer!Tobirama only ever left the Kelp Forest to guard his more hormone driven kin when the pod headed to shallower waters to spawn and let the fry gather strength in the protection of the cove before heading back home

o   Tangling with the pretty, poisonous leader of the Uchiha pod was a mistake that could be entirely blamed on his brother’s tendency to overindulge in urchin-spines and share his vices with every mer in the vicinity

o   Someone (see: Zetsu) fucks up and pisses off the Ocean

o   Seaquakes and the resulting tsunami’s drive all the mer to the deepest-water cities to wait out the disasters

o   Madara gets eaten by a giant kraken while defending the fry – Tobirama arrives just in time to see Madara and their son get torn in half

o   Reborn!Tobirama courts Madara properly and the Uchiha pod moves into the sea-caves because the coral as too fragile for Tobirama’s peace of mind

o   Zetsu are creepy seaweed/anglerfish things

·      15th World

o   Virtual Reality Game AU

o   Code-writer!Tobirama develops Kenjutsu Mania Online in an attempt to revive his comatose little brothers

o   Overworked Detective!Madara gets suckered into the VR game with his little brothers

o   Crazy Person (Kaguya) traps all the players in a death game – as you do

o   Tobirama gets exposed as a game designer and PK’d

o   Reborn!Tobirama parties with Madara and gets married for the ExP bonus

o   Zetsu are a computer virus AI like Agent Smith

o   Madara uses IRL weapon skills to break the game and his character build before he smashes the Crazy Person open like an overripe melon

o   All the little brothers wake up

·      5 Tails Interlude

o   Sanzan-han is very proud! Mada-sama is halfway there!

o   Madara is throwing a huge fit over giving birth in 2 out of 5 worlds

o   But Mada-sama, the massive amount of affection points!

o   Fuck your affection points!

o   That’s the spirit, Mada-sama!

·      16th World

o   Modern Wizards AU

o   Dragon Keeper!Madara trips over poachers/dark wizards who kidnapped Ancient Runes Master!Tobirama for evil-ritual-sacrifice purposes

o   They accidently end up in a Marriage Bond

o   Tobirama suspects Madara of being a Dark Wizard

o   Madara is framed and executed – only for the real culprit to be exposed a few months later

o   The real culprit is Kaguya and Zetsu natch

o   Tobirama explodes a Time Turner

o   Reborn!Tobirama drags his new spouse Dark Wizard hunting

o   Couple Therapy for dumb Wizards go

·      17th World

o   ID Porn in a Miraculous AU

o   Masked Hero Phoenix is consistently pursued and wooed by his partner in crime fighting, Dragon

o   PoliSci TA!Madara has a raging brain crush on Bio-Chem Doctorate Student!Tobirama

o   An ill-advised insult/rejection causes Phoenix to darken and self-destruct

o   A grief-stricken Dragon “teleports” his mind back in time

o   Madara is so confused by Tobirama and his new stalker tendencies

o   Kaguya is RabbitMoth and Zetsu are the Akuma

·      18th World

o   Really Cheap Silmarillion Knockoff AU

o   Spell-Singer!Madara is driven mad by an Oath that was forced on him by a Messenger done Dark

o   Kaguya as the evil god and Zetsu as her evil Messenger

o   Forger!Tobirama doesn’t pay attention to extenuating circumstances until it’s too late and the bodies are buried

o   The World goes to shit for 3 ages because Tobirama’s shinies are the shiniest

o   Reborn!Tobirama devotes himself to fucking over Zetsu’s evil schemes and making pretty baubles for Madara

o   The fact that Madara’s new hairpin can level a mountain range is incidental and has nothing to do with Tobirama’s paranoia

o   An ancient mystery re. parentage is solved when Madara sings Kagami into being right on schedule – Tobirama is delighted to assist this time

·      19th World

o   Steampunk AU a la FF flavour

o   Enemy Nation!Madara is the Prince/General who goes crazy due to infection from alien viral lifeform

o   HoL Companion!Tobirama as a Prince of the protag Nation who are prophesized to save the world from Calamity

o   World goes to shit

o   Zetsu is the Scourge and Kaguya is Jenova/the Accursed

o   Tobirama is too impatient to wait out the “time-skip”

o   Reborn!Tobirama sneaks into the enemy stronghold – finds pre-infection!Madara imprisoned with tiny clone-child Kagami and steals them both

o   Cue roadtrip shenanigans as both sides try to track them down

o   Madara gets to one-man-army the forces of evil – Tobirama is very impressed

·      20th World

o   Demon Hunter AU

o   Incubus!Madara has a “food allergy” and has been stuck at the physical age of 13 being fed energy by his family members for the last 200 years

o   Functionally Ace Demon Hunter!Tobirama pegs Madara for a sex demon on sight because the lust whammy is legit the most distracting thing to ever happen to him and that incubus looks like a child ew

o   Tobirama sets a trap for Madara and is mean about it because he doesn’t appreciate the second-hand bad-touch feelings – trigger warning: allusions to non-con gangbang

o   Madara kills the “bait” and Tobirama bursts into the room

o   Tobirama sees adult!Madara in the aftermath of the carnage and is horrified to recognize his soulmate

o   Madara proceeds to vomit blood and dies at Tobirama’s feet – the allergy is no joke

o   Tobirama learns about Madara’s “allergy” from revenge rampage Izuna – recognizes that Izuna is Touka’s soulmate and doesn’t fight back

o   Tobirama regrets so hard he magics his soul back in time to the day he first saw Madara

o   The most awkward dating adventure begins

o   Zetsu are the actually evil demons who eat people for real – and not in the fun way Uchiha do

·      21st World

o   Gods AU

o   Ocean Kami!Tobirama realizes too late that he loved Volcano!Kami Madara and was unable to rescue him from the Underworld – that trick never works

o   Reborn!Tobirama starts bringing Madara tributes, averts the Twilight of the Gods via shameless debauchery, and accidently builds a tropical island honeymoon palace to spoil Madara in

o   Zetsu are the evil servants of the “god-eating Titan” Kaguya

·      6 Tails Interlude

o   Lots of Madara screaming about how the Powers That Be are far too fucking obsessed with seeing Madara get railed

o   Sanzan-han goes no-duh, most lifeforms devote about 99% of their spare life energy towards reproductive efforts

o   Madara is very grumpy about being a SSS Class Ninja Nightmare reduced to pillow-book wish-fulfillment fantasy fodder

·      22nd World

o   Noodle Dragon AU

o   Dragon King of the Northern Ocean!Tobirama and Quetzalcoatl!Madara courting shenanigans

o   OTL!Tobirama fucked up and led Hunters (Zetsu) to OTL!Madara’s nest and they stole his heart for black magic doomsday ritual

o   Madara ended up a stone statue curled around the shattered remains of his first egg

o   Reborn!Tobirama is determined to be a properly attentive mate

o   Madara is resigned to laying eggs again

·      23rd World

o   GoT-knockoff Medieval AU

o   Madara gets burned at the stake as a witch, doesn’t die, and then gets torn apart by a terrified mob

o   Northern Lord!Tobirama realizes that he done fucked up and needs Madara to beat the evil ice zombies

o   Reborn!Tobirama starts wooing an extremely cranky pyro-prince while trying to give the Uchiha Crown Prince more positive PR with the peasantry to avoid another riot

o   Zetsu are the Others, Kaguya as the Night Queen

·      24th World

o   ‘Taur AU – Tribal Setting

o   Leopard-Taur!Madara lives high up in the Mountains

o   Tiger-Taur!Tobirama is poisoned and delirious during a fated encounter – he doesn’t learn what happened or who saved him until after both prides are mostly destroyed

o   Reborn!Tobirama manages to avoid delirium induced amnesia and starts stalking Madara with the intent to make love not war

o   Zetsu are corrupted from using radioactive/poisonous Power Stones to boost strength, Kaguya is actually parasite queen

·      25th World

o   Exorcists and Ghosts AU

o   Cursed Ghost!Madara lingers in the courtyard he called home while he was alive

o   Kagami wanders in during the ghost hour and Madara shoves him into a cabinet to protect him

o   Exorcist!Tobirama finds out that Madara was still protecting Kagami from the devil spirits – not haunting him – only after the devils grow stronger and get free after ghost!Madara is destroyed

o   Reborn!Tobirama needs to figure out a way to woo his past incarnation’s very justifiably angry murdered consort before Madara denies Tobirama visitation rights

o   Zetsu are devil spirits who cursed Madara to death, Kaguya wants to consume Kagami for power

·      26th World

o   Midsummer Night’s Dream AU

o   Fairy Prince!Tobirama gets dosed with love potion

o   Meets Dark Forest King!Madara

o   Falls in potion induced love – which gets Tobirama invested enough to forget his previous prejudices and fall in True Love

o   Then Madara dies

o   Reborn!Tobirama is now immune to Love Potions because he is in True Love with Madara – fuck you, cheating bastard traitors to the Fairy Crown

o   Tobirama runs off into the Dark Forest to snag himself a Goblin King (and break Hashirama out of Love Potion induced insanity, natch)

o   Zetsu as the dirtbag fiancée, Kaguya as the dark fairy trying to take over both kingdoms

·      27th World

o   Naga AU

o   Banded Sea Kriat!Tobirama tangles with in-heat Black Hooded Tiger Snake!Madara and doesn’t realize until later that the whole situation was a bloodmage trap

o   Zetsu are the bloodmages

o   Tobirama finds Madara’s still bleeding skinned body a few weeks after they tangle – manages to get Madara’s skin and their still-curing egg back from the hunting team

o   Tobirama tries to save their egg and fails – it was taken from Madara too soon

o   Tobirama hunts down the bloodmage and dies in killing them

o   Reborn!Tobirama gives Madara proper aftercare – notes the bloody wound from the unwanted heat inducing potion – and hauls Madara back to his den for proper nesting

·      28th World

o   Magical Knight AU

o   Storm Knight!Tobirama damages Evil General!Madara’s control seal during the battle of the week

o   Tobirama then runs into amnesiac in civilian ID Madara after the fight and goes on a date

o   Tobirama still end up killing Madara when the brainwashing is reapplied – prolonged death scene reveals that Madara was mind-controlled not committing betrayal

o   Reborn!Tobirama puts significantly more effort into ensuring that the control seal is completely removed from “General Indra”

o   Madara helps defeat the Ancient Evil while wearing leather booty shorts

o   Kaguya as Mettalia, Zetsu as the Youma

·      7 Tails Interlude

o   Forget about the indignity of being Tobirama’s go-to baby incubator – Madara is absolutely flipping his shit over the booty shorts

o   Sanzan-han thought they were quite flattering on you, Mada-sama!

·      29th World

o   Blood Magic AU

o   Demon Lord!Madara gets honeytrapped by Blood Mage!Tobirama and stabbed from behind by Hashirama

o   Tobirama turns Madara’s body into a scrying gem to steal his powers and secrets

o   Snooping through Madara’s memories of their courtship lets Tobirama discover that Madara’s “evil plot” was a baby Kagami now cold in his cradle

o   Reborn!Tobirama is doing everything in his power to keep his family from finding out about Madara because the Senju’s whole “thing” is demon hunting and stealing their magic

o   Kaguya as the creepy Ancestor of the Senju clan who started the demon killing habit, Zetsu as the twisted remains of Senju elders who cursed themselves due to magic addiction

·      30th World

o   Phantom Thief AU

o   Kaito!Tobirama has to watch as his dear Detective!Madara gets gunned down by the Black Organization

o   Reborn!Tobirama first tries to send Madara away for his own safety – has a control freak panic attack when he can’t see Madara

o   Tobirama proceeds to go full disclosure overcompensation trying to keep Madara safe

o   Madara is a Sigh and steals all nine bijuu tama while Tobirama is sorting himself out

o   … Tobirama would like to know when his dear Detective learned to pick locks but before that there is a very serious problem that has arisen in Tobirama’s pants that needs to be dealt with because that was the smoothest heist Tobirama has ever borne witness to holy shit

o   Zetsu as the Black Organization looking for the magic gem Kaguya

·      31st World

o   Transformers AU

o   Decepticon!Madara is Sunspot and Autobot!Tobirama is Whitespace

o   The Great War happens – Kaguya-as-Unicron wakes up and eats most of the planet and population

o   “That’s no moon.”

o   Whitespace yeets his spark back in time and attempts to if not stop then at least delay the start of the Great War

o   Reborn!Whitespace ends up pair-bonding with Sunspot to rob the Decepticons of their Air Commander

o   A 3rd faction forms separate from the High Council versus Violent Terrorist Extremists options

·      32nd World

o   Beauty and the Beast meets Hanahaki Tragedy AU

o   Imprisoned Guest!Tobirama heads home for The Visit and stays away too long – not longer than he promised, but Beast!Madara was days away from suffocation

o   Tobirama comes back to a silent castle and finds Madara on his bed surrounded by blood and the flowers that had burst out from under his skin

o   Reborn!Tobirama is determined to break the curse – Madara is just really tired and in pain

o   What kind of fucking sadist curses a kid with roses growing inside their body – Madara was 13 when this shit started and his body knows it

o   True Loves Kiss ensues (and also Itama and Kawarama beat the shit out of Zetsu for cursing their new brother in law)

·      33rd World

o   ABO ElfQuest-ish AU

o   Alpha!Tobirama thinks he was tricked into marriage hunting Omega!Madara as part of a plot against the Senju Kingdom – everyone knows that you can’t trust Dark Elves

o   Tobirama finds out too late that there are evil forces on the loose that only the Uchiha are aware of – that’s why the Dark Elves are called Dark Elves, because they hunt evil in the dark

o   Madara is caught and left mutilated for Tobirama to come across just as he made up his mind to treat his mate better

o   Reborn!Tobirama misses his cue from the original setup – but he still finds Madara hiding in a waterfall cave because fuck no, no more fucking fucking

o   Spoiler: Madara gets fucked good and hard

o   Tobirama and Madara go demon hunting together

o   Zetsu are the Madkin demons created by Kaguya’s twisted flesh-shaping

·      34th World

o   Wonderland AU

o   Evil Dictatorship ruling family Uchiha Clan are actually held captive by their Palace – it’s a seal keeping a demon asleep and powered by the Uchiha who live inside the castle – the Uchiha don’t actually do much ruling, the Council of Elders is where the majority of the corruption is

o   Revolutionary!Tobirama kidnaps Crown Prince of Hearts!Madara during the siege to “free” Wonderland which lets the demon loose so Tobirama is forced to marry Madara and have kids quick due to being responsible for the plan that killed off 99% of the Uchiha

o   Also people born with red eyes get married to the Uchiha in the Kingdom of Hearts – those with red eyes have hearts that cannot be fooled or controlled (meaning they’re able to see through the demon’s tricks)

o   Reborn!Tobirama has just enough time to alter his plan for the attack on the Palace of Hearts – then he walks in on the turncoat guards who gave the Revolution entry to the Palace making comments about sexually assaulting Madara

o   Tobirama bursts in before Madara can break their skulls and “saves” his future husband

o   Most of the Uchiha survive this time – only the Elders get killed

o   Tobirama marries Madara again and gets to work on revamping the bad laws

o   Zetsu is the Jabberwocky

·      35th World

o   Werewolf Fighting Ring AU

o   Alpha Werewolf!Tobirama was unwillingly mated to Alpha Werewolf!Madara when he was caught and held prisoner by slave traffickers

o   Tobirama rejects Madara once they’re free of the arena but makes sure to “payback” Madara for his “humiliation” first

o   Madara had been given heat drugs the entire time and didn’t remember what Tobirama resented him for

o   Madara ends up dying from mate-loss

o   Tobirama is focused on bringing down the slavery ring and doesn’t know Madara died – until Hashirama sends him a letter about how his mate “didn’t make it through the birth” and asking him to get back for the funeral

o   Tobirama finally slows down – reads the file on Madara he has been ignoring since he found it – and breaks

o   Reborn!Tobirama is focused on treating Madara as a proper mate while also getting revenge on the Slavers

o   Madara is going to rip out so many throats out over being pregnant again

o   Zetsu as the warlocks running the slave rings to feed Kaguya power

·      36th World

o   Star Wars AU

o   By-the-Code Jedi!Tobirama tends to bisect all the “darksiders” he runs into – kills Izuna during a mission

o   Madara does full dark-side rage and Empress Kaguya takes over

o   Zetsu as the Darkside clone army

o   Reborn!Tobirama is a lot less saber-happy and has learned that the Uchiha are not dark – more wild/grey

o   Ends up Force Bonded to Madara to bring Balance

·      8 Tails Interlude

o   Madara has a screaming breakdown to the tune of “why fucking Tobirama?!?!?!”

o   Sanzan-han is like “He resented you the most? Duh? No Evil Abolishing Resentment System?”

o   Madara tries his best to fry the stupid gods-be-damned-twice fish

·      37th World

o   Sex Slave Soulmate AU

o   War-Mage!Tobirama uses borderline-forbidden magic to make Kagami – shatters his soulmate link to do so, which is what makes the magic unpopular but not illegal as nobody is actually “harmed” by the spell

o   Note: Kagami is now the living embodiment of the link

o   Kagami finds Courtesan!Madara in a high-end brothel that is a front for nobles to buy magically bound sex-slaves – this is actually super forbidden magic, btw

o   Tobirama saves Madara and the other enslaved thralls while rescuing Kagami

o   Madara had enough magic to fight against the enchantment and managed to get Kagami out of the brothel – that’s how Tobirama knew where to attack

o   No follow through after the rescue – Madara and the others are left under the enslavement seals

o   Madara ends up assaulted/dead/silenced by the nobles who used to patronize the brothel and slave market

o   Reborn!Tobirama moves faster and has already figured out how to break the enslavement curse – gets to the brothel before Madara manages to get Kagami out again

o   Mexican standoff ensues – Tobirama rescues his soulmate and kid

o   Madara gets freed from the curse

o   Courting ensues when their soulmark repairs when they touch after the curse is broken

o   Kaguya as the evil mage who was using the brothels as a power source, Zetsu as her simulacrum servants

·      38th World

o   Mythos AU

o   Dragon!Tobirama is married to Phoenix!Madara and resents it

o   Madara has bad PR and Tobirama listens to rumours so he ignores Madara as much as he can

o   Civil War erupts – Madara hides Kagami when their Palace is attacked and is a distraction

o   Tobirama finds his spouse ritually violated to steal his “fire”

o   Reborn!Tobirama is a much more enthusiastic spouse and realizes that Madara is a fluffy sap

o   Zetsu as the invading horde of magic thieves

·      39th World

o   Angels AU

o   Angel!Tobirama is “tempted” by Fallen!Madara

o   Tobirama kills Madara and kicks off a new War In Heaven

o   Regret hits when Tobirama finds Kagami’s body after Danzo kills him… in an exact mirror of how Tobirama tricked Madara

o   Reborn!Tobirama decides to “prove” that Madara is “evil” before killing him this time to keep the War from happening again

o   Tobirama gets his nose rubbed in Madara’s ability to love his family

o   Zetsu as actual demons who are trying to kill off both Angels and Fallen

·      40th World

o   Fae Marriage Hunt AU

o   Winter Fae!Tobirama was a petty bastard and resisted his betrothal to the point a Marriage Hunt was the only option

o   Skinchanger!Madara wins the Hunt

o   The peace between the High Court and the Wild Hunt collapses after Madara is killed during a diplomatic meeting

o   Reborn!Tobirama decides to play along/use his “marriage” to make the peace permanent

o   Tobirama gets his misconceptions challenged when Madara rides his cooperative “willing” bride into the ground

o   Kaguya as an evil Fairy Queen with Zetsu as her Greymalkin

·      41st World

o   The Mummy AU

o   Archeologist!Tobirama accidently triggers mummy!Madara’s awakening and the crazy demon cultists take advantage

o   Madara lets Tobirama kill him rather than let the cultists sacrifice Tobirama

o   Tobirama gets an info dump on Madara’s trauma

o   Reborn!Tobirama uses the evil cult to resurrect Madara properly and woos the ancient shogun like a boss

o   Kaguya as even more ancient evil Mummy and Zetsu as obsessed cultists

·      42nd World

o   Labyrinth AU

o   Adventurer!Tobirama keeps meeting a mysterious “king” in his dreams – King of the Labyrinth!Madara keeps a veil over his head and his hands covered by extra-long fluttery sleeves

o   Tobirama has to beat the Labyrinth to rescue his little brothers

o   Paranoid Tobirama gets tricked into betraying Madara by goblin Zetsu – the Labyrinth collapses

o   Tobirama’s little brothers are killed along with all the other kidnapped children – the energy from their deaths and the destruction of the Labyrinth is used to fuel the resurrection of a Demon God Kaguya

o   Tobirama dies taking his revenge after learning the full story

o   Reborn!Tobirama is much more willing to “dance” with Madara now that he knows Madara is as much or more a prisoner than the stolen children

o   Madara was used as a lure – his fingers bound in wire and his eyes sewn shut – but they miscalculated because Madara was still the King and wouldn’t let anyone who can’t complete his Labyrinth reach the children

o   Tobirama completes the Labyrinth… after he frees Madara

o   Yay romantic dance sequences

·      43rd World

o   Four Kings AU

o   Byakko!Tobirama gets trapped in a blood-and-wine seal

o   Suzaku!Madara runs afoul of Tobirama’s enemies, kills them all in a rage, and trips into Tobirama’s trap with him

o   Violent coitus ensues

o   Madara breaks the seal once the trap’s power has been exhausted and runs away

o   Tobirama wakes up with a blank memory as a result of the seal

o   Madara lays an egg – Kagami hatches

o   Zetsu as Minions of the God-Eater Kaguya catch Madara while he’s weak and sacrifice him thinking he still contains the combined essence of Byakko and Suzaku

o   Hey but actually Madara’s power was at a low ebb because he spent it all on Kagami so no resurrections for you, stupid doomsday cult

o   Tobirama rescues Kagami – baby bird begs the tiger to save his mama – is too late

o   Reborn!Tobirama gets to watch his past!self deflower the avatar of Suzaku and oh shit that means Kagami is my son? Tobirama is a scream

o   Time to gather the Four Kings and destroy a Demon Cult! Mito is Seiryuu and Hashirama is Genbu.

·      44th World

o   Warprize Ger AU

o   Imperial Prince!Tobirama is given as a consort to Ger Emperor Madara as part of a Senju plot

o   Tobirama is unaware that his attendants are using him to poison Madara but is super pissed at his father for giving him away as a treaty gift

o �� Madara dies birthing Kagami but reveals to Tobirama that he was glad to marry him – Kagami is worth it and Tobirama was the only man to ever give Madara flowers

o   Kagami learns that it was a Senju plot that killed his mother and hates Tobirama for his part in it

o   War erupts between the Uchiha Empire and the Senju Kingdom again and destroys both countries

o   Reborn!Tobirama decides to overturn all his father’s plan and dotes on his Imperial Spouse – so manyflowers are given

o   Madara is an amazing Emperor and newly crowned Emperor Hashirama is super thrilled to have such peaceful relations with his neighbour thanks to Tobirama’s beautiful love story

·      45th World

o   Buddy-cop StarTrek Federation AU

o   Senju-With-Tentacles, Psychic!Uchiha-With-Horns

o   PHEREMONE MARKERS~!!

o   Zetsu are the Borg

o   Kagami is a Tube Baby

·      9 Tails Interlude

o   Madara is freaking the fuck out the last set of worlds were uniquely traumatizing – especially the Labyrinth one

·      46th World

o   Loveless AU

o   Sacrifice!Madara has learned to fight on auto – the first Sacrifice to figure out how to do so, and he doesn’t stop fighting even when his Fighter shows up

o   Fighter!Tobirama never wanted a Sacrifice because he didn’t want them to get hurt and he sees Madara acting as a Fighter so he doesn’t believe that Madara is a Sacrifice

o   The name of their Bond is Devotion

o   Madara gets targeted by a swarm of Dr. Kaguya’s fake-bonded Zetsu

o   Tobirama finds Madara’s body in Kaguya’s lab and uncovers the Bond too late to save his Sacrifice

o   Reborn!Tobirama is hyper overprotective and Madara trounces his Fighter’s ass up and down the street until he feels better about living in a reality with a world-wide virginity fetish

·      47th World

o   Witch Madara and Magical Creature Tobirama

o   Tobirama is cursed into a human form

o   Tricked into thinking that he has to kill Madara/a Witch to get the curse broken?

o   It was all a lie

o   Tobirama twisting the curse to go back in time instead of dying

o   Madara is too gods-be-damned-again tired for this nonsense

o    

·      48th World

o   Stargate AU

o   Head Scientist of the Expedition Tobirama

o   Leader of the surviving “Ancients” Madara

·      49th World

o   Welcome to Nightvale AU

o   Tobirama, the Scientist

o   Madara, the Sherriff of the Secret Police

o    

·      50th World

o   BDSM AU

o   Tobirama IDS as a Switch but he’s service oriented non-dynamic instead

o   Madara thinks toys/scenes are silly – demi-romantic/grey-ace Madara rides again

o   Tobirama has cultural dissonance meeting a “Dom” who likes being the one fucked

·      51st World

o   TRON?

·      52nd World

o   Tyrant CEO/Entertainment Circle

·      53rd World

o   From another world AU

o   Tobirama drops into Fantasy Land from a Modern-ish Naruto World

o   Madara as the Villainous Noble who was “jealous” of Tobirama’s magic power

·      54th World

o   Last Unicorn AU

o   Madara is the Kirin

o   Tobirama as a Wizard who likes Science more

·      55th World

o   Dragon Raja AU

·      10 Tails Interlude

o   Sanzan-han reveals why they were helping Madara – and fade to black

·      Return to the Warring Clans Era

o   Canon is About to Be Diverted

o   Madara is back on the battlefield where Izuna died

o   Promptly summons Sanzan-han to stop this fucking bullshit – Sanzan-han has ascended and become a massive dragon so yeah the battle is definitely over now

o   Tobirama appears to be having a migraine – whoops looks like the arrival of Sanzan-han has started the data-dump of all Tobirama’s System-generated memories into canon!Tobirama

o   Peace and Konoha happen

·      Epilogue/Extras

o   Tobirama has Suspicions regarding his shiny new memories – especially because he remembers seeing that fish. Everywhere. All the time. Stupid fish.

o   Everyone is very confused by how fast Tobirama and Madara get over the war and hook up but yay peace? Also Madara and Tobirama somehow make a baby and everyone is too busy trying to figure out how that works to complain anymore.

o    

·      

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 275: YAAAAY but Also AHHHHH

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor was all “I’M FIGHTING TOMURA AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME” and set everything on fire. Unlike SOME people, however, it turns out fire is NOT Tomura’s weakness, so he basically just shrugged it off. But before things could progress any further, AFO was all “psst, go get One for All” and Tomura was all “? One for All?” and Endeavor was all “?? One for All?” and Deku and Kacchan, who were listening in on their earpieces, were all “!!!” Having thus realized that Tomura was targeting him, Deku sped off to lead him somewhere away from the civilians... accompanied by his good friend Bakugou “274 chapters of character development have all been leading up to this” Katsuki. Because like hell are you going to have an EPIC BATTLE with the FINAL VILLAIN without him, you damn nerd. Who’s he going to heroically sacrifice himself for if you’re not there?? Hahh!?

Today on BnHA: Deku and Kacchan fly off to battle Tomura after confusing Endeavor into giving them his location (which wasn’t very hard lmao). En route, Deku finally thinks to ask Kacchan why he’s tagging along, and Kacchan is all “DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT’S JUST BECAUSE I WANT REVENGE ON TOMURA, AND DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL, HOW DARE YOU, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT”, which is super convincing and didn’t make me roll my eyes at all. Anyways so then Tomura shows up and is all “EYO TIME TO KILL YOU NOW” and Deku and Kacchan are all “OH SFFKDFK”, but fortunately Gran shows up to save them in the nick of time, because BnHA is literally the only shounen manga in which grown-ups will see kids trying to lead a battle and be like “lol wtf” and actually try to stop that shit instead of being all “what are your orders, children.” The chapter then ends with the heroes doing EXACTLY WHAT THEY SHOULD BE DOING??Namely, having the guy who can TURN OFF QUIRKS battle the guy with the ultimate death quirk! I’m so proud. But also I swear to god, if Tomura so much as breathes suspiciously in his direction...!! What the fuck. HORIKOSHI.

y’all what in the fresh hell is this bs

not yet there isn’t son but if you keep trolling like this I can give your nervous system something to actually be nervous about

anyway. this was his comment from last week’s issue of Jump, and I have absolutely no idea what it’s referring to, is the fun part! did he cry because of something he was working on in a chapter that’s coming up? or is he just tired from a combination of stressful mangaka schedule + 2020 in general?? or hell, for all I know he just recently watched Titanic or some shit

(ETA: KILLING AIZAWA SHOUTA WOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE CRY OUT OF JOY, THOUGH. RIGHT?!)

anyways I guess it’s time to read and see if I feel like sadly happily crying for two hours afterward

-- oh shit I just realized there are two scanlations out for this?? one from readjump.com, and one from readheroacademia.com. lol now what. uhhh

lulzes. I guess I’ll go with RHA for now and keep checking back to RJ after each page and I’ll go with whichever translation I liked better

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR MILLENNIAL VILLAIN

or would he actually be gen z. he was already in his twenties when this manga started like six years ago, so I’m going with millennial. but on the cusp though I guess. anyway, he plays video games though is the point

and I see he’s already decided to contradict me and my inane speculations not two panels in! I GUESS I AM JUST A FOOL. that’s really interesting though. I wonder if it’s just Monoma’s quirk that doesn’t take the accumulated “save data” from the people he copies from, then? guh. how many of my AFO/OFA theory notes do I have to scrap now

and there’s a little quirk blurb about Search, which is fairly useless given that we already know how it works (actually in even greater detail than shown here), but at least it comes with a cute little picture of Ragdoll in her hero costume, to make us all sad and stuff

so anyways Tomura who are you looking at?? this was a topic of some contention last week! also why were you only seeing nine people then. Ragdoll had seen everyone in 1-A along with Aizawa and her fellow Pussycats at a minimum, so is this confirmation that Tora and Mandalay and Pixie-Bob are all really dead then, because I CAN AND WILL HUNT DOWN A MAN AND MAKE HIM CRY FOR A GOOD DEAL LONGER THAN TWO HOURS IF THAT’S REALLY THE CASE. was Kouta not traumatized enough already?? LET’S JUST ORPHAN HIM AGAIN WHY NOT THAT’S A GOOD PLAN

(ETA: I really hate that we are still up in the air regarding this? and I mean, sure, why not, we only had like a dozen lady heroes to begin with, so why not just kill off two more of them, offscreen, in one fell swoop??)

WHAT IS A SHAME. TOMURA. DAMN IT

(ETA: ??)

-- well hello there

OR MAYBE I WAS NOT A FOOL AT ALL?? lol guys. please do not tell me my hobo husband is flying his vengeful ass over to where Tomura all heedless of the danger because I really do not need that just yet. CAN MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS PLEASE FUCKING TAKE TURNS BEING IN TERRIBLE DANGER INSTEAD OF ALL AT ONCE

sob we’re cutting back to Endeavor and Deku and Kacchan. ACTUALLY THAT’S GOOD THOUGH why am I complaining. I’m just gonna have to get used to the fact that no one is going to truly be safe for the next god knows however many chapters, and make my peace with that. hahaha. yeah right

lmao Deku. “HEY WHAT’S UP, ME AND MY FELLOW CHILD HERE ARE GONNA LURE SHIGARAKI TOWARDS US, BUT WE’LL EXPLAIN OUR REASONS FOR THAT LATER. IF YOU SEE HIM MAKING ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS PLEASE INFORM US SO AS TO AID US IN THIS PLAN.” Endeavor if you just go along with this I will lose so much respect for you lmao

lol he is trying to argue a bit but then he’s suddenly cutting off. so in hindsight I don’t know why I said “lol”, really. I’M JUST NERVOUS OKAY

btw in the other translation Deku straight up asks if Endeavor can redirect Tomura towards them. “sure no problem bucko, let me just tell the walking apocalypse exactly where he can find you, my two sixteen-year-old interns whose safety I am responsible for. I was just thinking to myself that I hadn’t had my fill of crazy ill-thought-out plans with a high risk of death today”

holy --

okay I have not the SLIGHTEST clue what’s going on here, even after analyzing both scans, except that someone, probably Tomura, either just went CRONCH or just GOT cronched just now lmao. let us read on to find out who was cronched and who did the cronching

the rest of this page is not really much more helpful

but I am becoming increasingly suspicious that those were in fact Tomura’s new, improved and ridiculously thicc legs doing the cronching as he did a Marvel Superhero Landing from the most RIDICULOUS ANGLE POSSIBLE

LMAO NOW WHAT

so he just cronched onto the ground and fooshed Endeavor and then went flying off again huh

LMAO AT EVERYTHINNNNNG

THANK YOU ENJI. HE’LL LURE HIM AWAY. lols WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TELL THEM WHICH WAY HE WAS HEADED YOU BOOB

he really just fucking hung up on him afterwards too. just, “got it thanks amigo just leave everything to me, [CLICK]”

OH MY GOD

BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE CONVENIENTLY INTERFERING WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR LITTLE THROWDOWN OF DESTINY HUH. THAT WOULD JUST BE TERRIBLE

-- oh shit

that’s just. a SLIGHT change in meaning, there. silly me. thinking “get rid of them” meant “get rid of their communications as opposed to FUCKING KILLING THE ONE YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY AFTER. hmm. well that’s not good

(ETA: never have I been so happy that a translation was wrong lmao.)

so now Endeavor’s shouting at everyone else that Tomura is heading southwest and that he has “SUPER REGENARTION” (sic) and is no longer THE SAME THUG HE WAS BEFORE and yeah RHA you have officially won me over, flaws and all. listen up boyos. this ain’t your granddaddy’s Shigaraki Tomura. this one regenars

also “that damn kid...” like why the hell did my son have to go and befriend two protagonists. why is this my life now

AHAHAHAHA

“MIDORIYA IS IN DANGER...!!” STORY OF THIS MANGA. AHAHA. KACCHAN HE’S COMING. HE’S COMING, KACCHAN. for you two. someone please help me I am both terrified and thrilled beyond all recognition and my body doesn’t know how to handle the conflicting emotions. honestly crying for two hours is starting to sound more and more appealing

oh my god I forgot they didn’t know, though

fff. Kacchan especially didn’t know, because unlike Deku he doesn’t have random bits of other people’s souls going “heyyyyyyy... transcendent being at 12 o’clock.” what has this kid so bravely and stupidly gone and gotten himself into

look at them go

damn Deku can you really not float yet?? that’s going to be really inconvenient if that’s the case

(ETA: my boy really would have just straight up died. he would have died so hard.)

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU WANT TO ASK HIM LMAOOOO. well it’s because of all the character development!! if you must know

THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER BLASTY MCANGERTY

you’re not as smooth as you think you are, you know. we all know why you actually followed him. but fine, be that way

okay so now he’s giving a real-er answer though

“understand the situation”, the situation being that your best friend and his secret-trump-card-in-the-battle-against-evil quirk were being targeted by the guy who just obliterated this entire city. got it. you put it quite succinctly

and Deku is all

and Kacchan is all

love how he throws that protagonist crack in there too. because we all know that Deku absolutely is the protagonist lol, and so if that part’s obviously not true, we can make some inferences about the rest of what he’s saying too now can’t we

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap

YOU SURE DO!! and he does with you too!! :) it’s gonna be one big happy reunion! :) :) :) oh gosh golly

OH NO KATSUKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING

what are you doing to me, I should clarify. please be considerate of my feelings. you can’t just DUMP sudden Kacchan Kamino Angst on me without any warning, you have to let me know in advance so that I can buy some thank you cards

THERE’S MOREEEEE???

YOU REMEMBER TOO, DON’T YOU DEKU. HE WAS ALL CRYING AND STUFF. IT WAS A LOT. IT’S POSSIBLE THAT I HAVE NEVER PERSONALLY GOTTEN OVER IT

AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE NEVER QUITE GOT OVER IT EITHER

:’)

by the way in the other translation he says “I’ll make up for what I did that day.” so yeah. BOOM. right to the heart. shot of me collapsing to the ground in slow motion

but it’s interesting though that he still can’t admit to having selfless motives yet! even after everything he’s been through and all his character growth! he’s still all GET RID OF THE REFERENCES TO ME CARING ABOUT YOU, WE CAN’T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE HAVE FEELINGS

but even his Kamino feels are notably first and foremost about him feeling responsible for failing All Might. so yeah, buddy. where does that leave you? even your feeble excuses are still rooted in selflessness, JUST GIVE IN AND ADMIT YOU’VE BEEN SECRETLY GIVING A SHIT BEHIND EVERYONE’S BACK. and honestly he might be better off at this point if he didn’t! BUT HE DOES. and that’s that

anyways Deku I sure hope you and your big hero brain can see right through this nonsense

god. you’re both in so much danger though, do you even have any idea?! of course you fucking don’t. god

HELLO BAKUGOU NARRATION!?!

well that’s one hell of a rare sight!! all fresh and chock full of shrewd observations about his best rival’s current skillset. ah what a time we’re living in

ooooh

gonna hold off commentary until I read the next part of this lol

OOOOOH

goddamn. Horikoshi really went off this week. just a whole chapter’s worth of Stuff Makeste Really Likes, goddamn is it my birthday or what

so do you guys think he’ll be able to keep pace all the way up to 100%? I can see this part being interpreted in two totally different ways if I’m being honest. on the one hand we have the more pessimistic (some would say realistic) view that Bakugou is desperately trying to convince himself that he’s still on the same level as the rival he so desperately wants to surpass, but with the sinking feeling that he’s actually not going to be able to keep up for much longer. and then on the other side of the coin we have the more glass-half-full perspective that he actually is capable of keeping up with him right to the bitter end. that even as Deku grows stronger, he’ll continue to push himself and use that as motivation to keep getting stronger too. that Deku isn’t out of reach; that his goal isn’t out of reach

and I’m not completely sure which way this is leaning myself! I personally would like to lean more towards the second interpretation, because y’all know I love me some rivals. and also because imo one of the most commendable things about Bakugou’s development has been how he hasn’t once been envious of Deku’s strength or of his position as All Might’s chosen heir since he learned about OFA. he hasn’t once shown any kind of resentment towards him for it, or doubted whether or not he deserves it. and as minor a detail as that may seem to some people, I cherish it. and I don’t want that to change! but I guess we shall see

so now we’re getting the clearest shot we’ve had yet of the new AFO holes in Tomura’s palms as he gets ready to combine some more quirks. also! more information about the quirks he has and is using! fucking thank you, where was this last week

so “radio waves” is clearly going to be used here to disrupt the heroes’ communication, which is a shame for them, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved given the alternative! the RJ translation is clearly just a hot mess lol. but I still adore that one “I’ll make up for what I did” line though

WOW

THE DISRESPECT. LOL DID YOU JUST FUCKING KILL HIS ASS

(ETA: I just realized he’s nowhere to be found after this, though, so... did he?? or is he now lying somewhere now all wounded and waiting to be found by one, or, dare I say, two of his sons? ...)

LKDFJLSDKGHOSIDGHOISDflkwejfdfsdklggdflgnfdlgndakgalkgldfdfkwlfwiowelKLDSGKSL:DKGJL:DKFM?G?SGSDLKG?SDFSDF??LKJ@L!

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

even if you ask him nicely??! somehow I just can’t help feeling that he probably shouldn’t oblige you, though!?!?!

anyways. THAT AIN’T SAFE. and what the hell is happening in that bottom left corner ahhhhhh

AHHHHHHH

GRAN DM ME YOUR ADDRESS I WANT TO SEND YOU SOME FLOWERS AND A BASKET OF FRUIT AND CRACKERS AND SOME LITTLE CHEESES AND SAUSAGES

jesus christ it completely slipped my mind that there was one other person currently in the vicinity who knows about OFA. my good sir, maybe you would like to introduce these two dunderfucks to the concept of a “plan.” and maybe you can also find the single shared braincell they apparently dropped and lost somewhere back there in all the city rubble

oh fuck me

(ETA: does Kacchan look so rattled here because he is being lectured, or because he just saw a vision of his own death and is now having it explained to him just how close he came to being decomposed. you decide! I’ll just sit here and bask in the angst.)

fuck. main character gods were really working overtime here. anyways so how are you all doing this fine Friday afternoon. me, I’m just sitting here wrangling with the knowledge that Tomura’s quirk is even deadlier than I realized, and that my two little boys came within inches of dying horrible deaths just now. but anyways it’s not as humid today as it was yesterday so that’s really nice

anyways so now Gran is continuing to lecture the mayor of Dumb Ideas Town here, along with his friend the deputy mayor who still thinks he outranks the actual mayor

SHH NOW AND LISTEN TO YOUR GRANDPA

-- ohhhh shit son are they mounting a counterattack?? don’t tell me!!

also is Gran seriously faster than Tomura. that makes no fucking sense, and yet these two are only alive now because of it so I’M SURE NOT GONNA QUESTION IT

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

AND IS AIZAWA ON HER BACK THOUGH???

AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

AH, BUT IT AIN’T GONNA WORK THOUGH, IS IT!!! AHAHAHA YESSSSSS

excellent question sir. the short answer is “they’re idiots”, and the long answer is just a longer version of “they’re idiots” but with some more complicated BakuDeku feels mixed in. I’ll tell you all about it if you just promise me that you’ll actually live through this, all right?

“is he after the two of them?” listen boy if you don’t finally put two and two together after this I’m gonna be fucking beside myself lol. (though honestly, Deku and Kacchan have been targeted by the League so many other times already that he might just simply accept “yeah they’re after them again” without any further explanation)

my dear gentlefolk would you fucking look at how the lord has blessed us on this day

Aizawa Fucking Shouta and the motherfucking dramatic intro to end all dramatic intros. finally this man gets his moment

someone please teach me how to cast a force field. teach me how to reach into the manga and slap this man and tell him to stop talking about how everyone’s noble sacrifices to protect him and his eraser quirk have led him to this day and to this one encounter. my guy. my fucking dude. THERE HAD BETTER BE SUBSEQUENT ENCOUNTERS AFTER THIS

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

ISN’T HE THOUGH??? Tomura I love you sweetie but you better BACK THE FUCK. OFF

well FINE THEN! BE THAT WAY. it’s not like my life revolves around you and your stupid manga anyway!! it’s not like I’m obsessed with it or anything!! I have other hobbies!! well I actually do have other hobbies, so that doesn’t really work as sarcasm, so let’s see though. maybe something more like, “this isn’t by far my favorite out of all my hobbies!!” I don’t spend 80-90% of my free time on any given day either actively or passively daydreaming about this series and writing essays in my head and reading fanfic and scrolling through art on tumblr!! etc.!! whatever!! enjoy your break!! have fun living your life!!

please don’t kill Aizawa

[foxymoxynoona]

So I want to be really clear abt this and not at all confused and I dont mean to be insensitive

(warning: talk abt non con, rape)

So apart form the instances in the beginning btw jk and m which were non con, m has not been assaulted? Like did the thane stop or was she able to stop him from sexually assaulting her? Was he just physically beating her that lead to karmen being called to heal m?

I just want to be clear and not assume and really don't want to be insensitive

hello! you’re not being insensitive! For anyone who badly needs to know what exactly we’re working with here, I’ll put a blunt explanation below. It’s spoilery but I personally care less about spoilers than reader comfort :) 

Below is a very blunt explanation of her assault and some additional comments from me on it all, though so please don’t click unless you’re prepared, I’m not sure I will ever be this explicit and blunt in the story when talking about what she went through, though I am likely going to make things less vague in future chapters, I am trying to learn the right and best way to balance vague/explicit in writing:

The Thane tries multiple times to rape her over the course of several days. The first night he tries to force a blowjob and she bites his dick so he beats her and has to go get healed.  She continues to fight him off each time he visits (which is only once a day before he only has a few of the Augur/guards in his pocket), which he gets off on (the fighting, the beating), so he does ejaculate everywhere but doesn’t get his dick inside her. He doesn’t feel the need to rush because as far as he cares he has three weeks to enjoy her. He thinks the fight is fun but then he gets impatient and tries to rape her anally. She stabs him in the shoulder with the knife. He beats her badly and gets off on it, realizes he went too far in beating her this badly, and sends for Karmen. Mishka feels like she can’t hold him off any longer, she’s lost her knife, and that attempt to her signaled he’s doing playing this game, so she wants to die before he actually fully succeeds. Up until now, she hasn’t known “how far” he is willing to go. 

I will go one step further and add: the Thane thinks he is above the gods. But there is a streak of fear in him still. *IF* the gods are real, he is aware he is doing something blatantly to defy them. *IF* she really is pregnant and the Augur realize that and then Mishka opens her mouth about what he’s been doing, the Hold would likely overthrow him, hopefully. *IF* she isn’t actually pregnant by JK but the Thane gets her pregnant, suddenly it looks like JK got her pregnant, that doesn’t help him either. He is an evil asshole but he’s not an idiot. He is always out to serve his own interests.

This is being a very instructive learning experience for me when it comes to writing about sexual assault. I felt like because this story has non-con (what some would actually classify as rape) early on in the story and consent and violence are major themes, that sexual assault later in the story would not be too big a shock. I tend to have a pretty broad definition of rape here, so I would include JK’s early non-con with her, and the things the Thane actually succeeds in doing, all in the bucket of “bad.” I’m finding it interesting to learn that many readers of this story have VERY specific acts they consider “too far,” if that makes sense. I am trying to handle this whole part of the story delicately and did my best for it not to be a surprise, but am definitely stressed to hear how many still found it to be a surprise. 

I actually debated a long time about whether it was appropriate to shift to JK in this particular moment. I think the media has a way of using sexual violence against woman as a gimmick or a plot point without actually recognizing the pain of the one actually experiencing the assault. I’m trying to walk that in this story --of being accurate to what I think happens in this story while also neither hiding/shying away from pain but also not glorifying or sensationalizing it-- but I may not get it right! I’m learning a lot from everyone who’s leaving me comments about how I handled this subject matter, and whether it even belongs in this story. 

At the end of the day, my personal feeling is that whether it “technically” passes as rape is less important than the fear and experience she went through, but I know not everyone agrees. She will have trauma to work through. She and JK cannot just pick up where they left off.  I had even debated whether the Thane succeeded or not in his attempts and had not actually planned on answering directly in the story if he “entered her” at all because I feel like the emotional and mental damage is still there either way.

[tsukidrama]

erwin is such an interesting character and him dying right before reaching his ultimate goal made his death even worse. i wish we could have seen him as the colossal titan too! i think the story would have definitely been different and levi x colossal would have been a very scary duo on the battlefield.

ooh i see! yeah annie is way more than the cold heart bitch the fandom likes to make her look like. she didn't kill those people for fun, and for almost all the warriors people tend to forget too easily that they were 12 years old and brainwashed when they were sent to paradis so of course they killed a LOT of people but it's not like they had a choice, especially since their families were still in marley. 

omg starting aot when it first aired must have been stressful, you have my total respect, i could have never survived the cliffhangers. but that was smart to notice all of these things and go past what annie did! i didnt even realise what giving up must have meant to her.

i'm pretty new to anime, aot was my third anime and i started watching it in january when season 4 just started airing. i binge watched the first three seasons and seeing all of those plot twists one after the other was a rollercoaster! but because i watched the episodes "too fast" i missed a lot of details and had to rewatch to understand some characters better (including annie). after that i started reading the manga after s4 part 1 finished airing.

annie was totally confused after coming out of that crystal and catching up with what happened in marley too must have been a LOT, she was barely out of her crystal and had to go back to war again, the boat scene seems so out of place! same, the shippers for them can be extreme i avoid them as much as i can. (i saw your tag and wtf) 

i'm not the biggest fan of her dad but it's just me projecting qkjsjsls but i understand his motives and indeed all of that training was because she's important to him. he's the dad grisha wanted to be lmao. 

do you have favourite ships btw? 😊

-j

agreed. a piece of my soul dies during episode 55 every time. erwin should have been the one to get the injection and i will die mad about it.

i honestly don't have a problem if people dislike Annie. i'm kinda like: good stay away from her. she was the first anime girl that i really got attached to so she's got a special place in my heart. she's definitely in the wrong for all the shit she did but i also think that she knows that, and she knows she can't change the past either. that's part of why i think she'd have a pretty substantial breakdown after all the fighting. she's never been in a place where she can truly reflect on and process what happened to her - and crystal jail doesn't count because it effectively put her in solitary confinement and that's just as psychologically stressful as being used as a human weapon. i also don't think any of them LIKE to kill people, they're so brainwashed that they see it as doing what they HAVE to do to be safe *but i pointedly glare at Zeke who is on thin fucking ice*

yeah it was pretty rough, but it also means that ive analyzed literally every plot point, every interaction that ever happened. there wasn't really anything else to do. i definitely recommend paying attention to small details during your rewatches, everything makes so much more sense once things have been revealed (some still don't though unfortunately). it's fun that you're getting into anime! there's a whole world out there to get into and attack on titan is a pretty good starter. a little intense maybe 💀

the boat scene bothers me a lot, ive talked about it before on here. i genuinely don't understand why people see it as a "confession" or in a romantic context at all really, when he's literally brushing her off the whole time and thinking about eren. they really aren't canon in any significant way, not compared to the other canon ships. and it's pretty hilarious how defensive and shrill the shippers will get if you point them out.

oh shit, no no no. that is NOT why i like annie's dad, not even a little bit. im a little worried that's the impression i've been giving off now so i might make a post about him later? the way he treated annie when she was a kid was definitely abuse no matter how you look at it. the fact that he adopted her for the sole purpose of using her to gain status? fucking evil. i had an abusive father myself and i know what you mean about projecting. until her backstory was revealed i hated him with everything in me, but she cares about him so much and wants to be with him again so much that in my opinion anybody that excludes her father from her narrative is in denial. she has a good relationship with him whether anybody likes it or not. i get the impression that now he has a second chance he would do absolutely anything for her to make sure that he does right by her this time. i see him as being pretty haunted by the things he's done to her but he also thinks he deserves to feel like shit so he keeps his mouth shut, it's the least he can do for her after how he made her feel/what she had to do.

[minijenn]

Random Keys/UF Crossover Ideas

Because I’m torn between both of my projects right now and I hate myself, here’s something that’ll only really appeal to the very niche audience of people who read both Universe Falls and Keys to the Kingdom. Basically its a list of somewhat spoilery (for Keys more than UF) headcanons of what it might be like if the Gravity Falls world scheduled to be in Keys was a Universe Falls world instead (in the sense that it still takes place in Gravity Falls physically but like... its set in the universe of Universe Falls (oy I’m explaining too much lemme just start rambling off the random ideas that have been popping into my head over the last several days of this hypothetical crossover of my two stupid fanfics):

For reference’s sake, on the UF end of things, this would take place somewhere around the middle of arc10ish, pretty close to Weirdmageddon as the GF world in Keys is gonna take place pretty close to Weirdmageddon too. 

For Keys, the trip to this world would still take place in the same spot the GF world does, so semi close to the end of the story, as one of the last Disney worlds of the fic (guess it wouldn’t really be a “Disney” world here but ehhhhhh) 

Guess I better give some context about what’s going on in each fic around that time; UF’s is easier to do so we’ll start with that; basically without spoiling a certain upcoming arc ender too much, during arc 10, everyone’s sorta frazzled what between all of the interdimensional travel, worries about Bill coming back and causing chaos, worries about the Diamonds possibly getting involved in stuff, shaken by the recent revelation that Rose allegedly shattered Pink Diamond and so on (basically there’s a lot going on in the leadup to UF’s ending hahaha) 

Context for Keys (again without getting too spoilery (gotta tread even more careful here) is that by this point in the story Sora is basically in nonstop Panic Mode about the whole norting thing thanks to a certain encounter with one Bald Old Fuckhead during the Aladdin world immediately before this; so Sora’s on the run from basically his entire support system cause he’s all worried about unintentionally hurting his friends (and he also just doesn’t want Riku or Kairi in particular to see what’s happening to him cause Disaster Bi). 

Cont. Context for Keys cause that last bullet point was Long: Despite all this fuckin Angst, Sora’s still out searching for the Keys on his own in the hopes of securing the final few for the guardians of light before he can be fully norted and forced into handing them over to the Organization instead 

Not to mention those freak relatively dark/light powers of his are alll outta whack cause he A. Doesn’t know how to control them At All and B. Is Emotionally Distraught so that’s only making things worse

And the entire gang is more or less out searching the worlds tryin’ to find Sora (he yeeted his Gummi Phone off a fuckin cliff or something just so nobody could get in touch with him smh what a waste of a perfectly good cell phone); among the teams that are out doing so include the one we’re gonna focus on here, Ven and Roxas  

Back to the UF end of things, I wanna talk about where each of the Mystery Kids are at this point; Steven is sorta all over the place with, again, the revelation that his mom could have been a murderer; Dipper is hella nervous about the idea of Bill getting his hands on the Rift (even moreso after RMD cause PTSD is Somethin Else kids), Mabel is in that mindset of not wanting the summer to end so they can all stay together, and Connie is basically (as usual) the only one with any brain cells as she’s trying to hold the gang together

(lowkey spoilers for the Keys GF chapters start here) So Sora arrives in Gravity Falls, suffering from all the angsts and anxieties and whatnot and just Not Having a Very Good Time Emotionally/Mentally as he starts lookin around for the Key in the woods or whatever

But lo and behold everyone’s favorite Evil Corn Chip just so happens to be spyin’ on him, and before too long Bill makes his appearance and acts all friendly to Sora, claiming that he can basically undo the whole norting thing (which he knows all about because of course he would, this is Bill Fucking Cipher we’re talking about here)

Sora’s skeptical but at the same time he’s sort of willing to do whatever he can at this point to keep his heart from being taken over by Mr. Bald Old Fuckhead and all Bill is asking for in return is for him to nab some sparkly snow globe that he claims already belongs to him but was stolen by some local family who Bill makes out to be pretty bad so hey, why not at least give it a shot? (dumb, the kid is dumb this is something we’ve established many times over by this point)

So Sora sets out to look for both the rift and the Key (while also being harangued by Xemnas who’s the Org. baddie of the GF world but errrrr i don’t have a ton of ideas about what he’s gonna do yet so we’ll just skip over that for now and focus on somethin else)

Something else being the fact that Sora happens upon a bunch of kids being attacked by a group of Nobodies, so he swoops in to save them even though the kids already look like they’re holding their own pretty well against them (two of them are out here swinging swords around, one’s really handy with that grappling hook while another one has some sort of magical shield? Its weird??? But cool imo) 

So they all team up to take the Nobodies out and following that, Sora meets and mostly hits it off with the Mystery Kids

Mabel is super hype (she kinda instantly crushes on Sora as soon as she sees him even though he’s too fuckin old for her); Steven and Sora radiate the same sort of Sweet But Sad energy so of course they’re best friends immediately 

Connie’s a lil bewildered by Sora (who the hell goes around swinging a giant key like its a sword, that’s just not practical???) but Dipper’s distrustful radar is instantly raised for a a number of reasons, but the biggest red flag he notices about Sora by far is that his eyes are yellow (btw by this point his eyes will more or less be completely yellow and his hair almost entirely white; he usually wears his hood up to try and hide that, but it got blown off during the forementioned fight) 

So the kids were out and about in the woods for mystery hunting reasons, mostly cause they were trying to cool their heads from all of the stress they’re under mentioned earlier (and cause hey, the summer’s ending soon and they gotta spend all the time they can together at this point) 

However, they quickly change gears when they learn about Sora’s quest to find some magical Key and they all eagerly decide they wanna help with that cause it sounds hella rad; Dipper would likely be the only dissenter to this plan, but he’d be lowkey about it, kinda deciding to keep a suspicious eye on Sora all the while (he doesn’t really act like he’s being possessed by Bill, but ya can never be too sure nowadays...) 

So they all set out in search of the Key (Sora decides not to tell them about Bill or the rift just yet, but even so right off the bat he’s basically decided “yes I’m adopting all four of these kids as my new little brothers and sisters and no one can stop me”)

So cut to the other end of things and we have Ven and Roxas who have basically only just met each other face to face for the first time (they’re both basically constantly doin that spiderman look alike meme); they’ve been more or less teamed up to look for Sora together tho, and they both got a massive guilt complex about the whole thing cause they used to be able to directly protect him inside his heart but now they can’t since they’re out of it so they’re determined to find him and make sure he’s OK

They also show up in Gravity Falls, arriving much closer to the Mystery Shack and the Gem Temple than Sora did; since its the closest thing nearby, the boys decide to venture over to the Mystery Shack to look first 

After some brief, confused yet fun conversation with Soos and Wendy, they bump into Stan and that initial meeting goes something like: 

Stan: Who the hell are you two supposed to be? You twins or something?

Roxas: No??? What the fuck is a twin??

Ventus, realizing that Roxas has like 0 real world experience or regard for world order at that moment right fucking there: (oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck) Ummmm YES WE ARE WE’RE TOTALLY TWINS AHAHA AREN’T WE BROTHER?

Roxas, immensely confused: What the hell is a brother??

And then Ford shows up and Roxas looks between him and Stan is just like “ooooh ok now I get what a twin is” and Ven is just like “oh my god I think Roxas managed to catch some of Sora’s stupidity after all asdkjalsdkalsd” 

Anyway after all this awkward confusion is over, Roxas and Ven bring up that they’re there looking for someone, and while neither Stan nor Ford are that invested, they do offhandedly mention maybe the Crystal Gems can help

Ironically enough, the Gems happen to burst into the shack right then and there, taking refuge from the surge of strange creatures swarming outside (Nobodies & Heartless); the Gems are rather overwhelmed by them since their weapons don’t work that great on them so they’ve come to seek Ford’s help (since he’s got all those weapons and lasers and shit he keeps stockpiled) 

In this Ven and Roxas end up meeting the Gems and both of them are just like :O (Ven’s lowkey like, “Aqua would get along great with these ladies, they’re total badasses just like her!”) and the Gems just kinda pass the boyos off like “yeah whatever there’s a fuckton of monsters outside meanwhile where are our kids?”

Stan and Ford are like *shrug* cause neither of them are very good at being Responsible when it comes to keeping an eye on these danger-prone kids and the Gems are just like *facepalm* “Morons” so they set out to find the kids and Ven and Roxas are like “well they know their way around here so why not go with them to see if we can find Sora too!” and so they all head out on a lil adventure

Then a whole bunch of stuff happens on both sides of the plot that I haven’t bothered to figure out; bunch of cute character interactions and whatever; insert possible second encounter with Xemnas in here somewhere where he basically shows up just to intimidate Sora but Sora’s like “no way jose, you touch any of these precious kiddos and you’ll Die” 

Somewhere in here, under... some circumstances, Sora and the MK make it back to the shack but like... everyone’s gone? (cause they all went out to look for them, didn’t even leave a note, fuckin rude) 

They search the house for anybody and then, on complete fuckin accident, Sora finds his way down into the basement (the portal room to be exact) and what else does he find down there but that thing Bill asked him to get (the rift)! 

Though he’s a little confused about why its there (Bill did say some awful family “stole” the rift from him, but none of the MK are awful, they a bunch of Good Kids); Sora still pockets it like a desperate dummy dumb anyway and doesn’t say a word about it to the kids because he thinks they might be too innocent and young to know anything about it anyway (he’s wrong of course because much like him these kids are Traumatized with a capital T but we’ll just ignore that for now)

Still on the search for that Key, Sora and the kids head out only to run right into Stan, Ford, and the Gems on the way out; course, Ven and Roxas are still with them and they see Sora and they’re like :D while Sora’s just like “aw fuck” and runs away from his problems like always

So he rushes off into the woods and who else would show up but that Motherfuckin Evil Corn Chip again who’s like “yo kid ya got the stuff” and Sora’s just like “brb having a panic attack rn” but then he ends up obliviously handing the rift over anyway cause again he’s incredibly desperate for any way out of his current horrible situation

Of course because I’m a sap for Drama, he happens to do so just as all four of the MK show up, having followed him into the woods and ohohohoh boy oh boy let’s just say them seeing Sora just up and giving the rift over to Bill would be a Moment (well, at least for Steven and Dipper cause they actually know what the fuckin rift is unlike Mabel and Connie who still wouldn’t at that point) 

So basically Bill is a little shit and takes the rift, but he can’t actually fuckin do anything with it cause he’s a physical object and he’s still intangible (or somethin like that idk I just don’t want Weirdmageddon to happen cause it would make things too complicated) so he’s like “fuck gotta find some stupid sap to possess so I can smash this dumb thing” and he nearly targets Sora (cause the kid was already stupid enough to help him in the first place so why not?) until Steven ends up being the one to fend him off using his shield 

Bill shrugs it off and makes off with the rift anyway (its like... hovering or something? idk I’m running out of steam) and everyone panics of course, especially Sora cause he’s just like “well shit I certainly Fucked Up didn’t i?” and the MK are both a mix of “YOU THINK?” (from Dipper and Connie mostly) and “imo not your fault Bill’s tricked just about all of us he’s an asshole” (from Steven and Mabel)

Amidst this a bunch of lil things also happen; the Stans and the Gems show up (along with Ven and Roxas), basically everyone is immensely confused (aka those who have no idea what the fucking rift is) and alarmed (those who do know what the rift is) that Bill has what he needs to more or less fuck the entire world over 

So everyone just decides to put everything aside and team up all together to track Bill down and get the rift back before he can break it (there’s a lot of heartwarming trust moments in here, mostly cause trust is like... the cornerstone theme of the GF chapters in Keys for obvious reasons) 

They eventually do find him and *insert big epic battle scene here* where everyone teams up to basically beat Bill to death or whatever (don’t ask me how they be doin that if he’s intangible, again I.... I’m tired and this post is long enough as it is) 

Yadda yadda yadda they beat him, get the rift back and effectively prevent Weirdmageddon from happening to begin with (which just does SO much wonderful fuckery for UF’s timeline moving forward but whatever, this ain’t about that) 

Oh and during that Climactic Battle Scene somewhere there’s some bit about Sora learning to better trust others/himself that leads to him getting the world’s Key? I-I I dunno its a work in progress...

Anyway after this there’s a lot of good character interactions all around, reconciliations between the UF characters and the Keys characters, particularly between Sora and the MK (again he’s adopted these kiddos and don’t you forget it)

So with the Key in hand, Sora starts to leave and Roxas and Ven almost convince him to go back with them until *insert Big Keys Spoiler here that results in the Organization getting their hands on that Key Sora just got and also results in Sora running away again cause... reasons*

And that’s the end of the chapters or whatever idk 

There’s probably more ideas I had in mind for this but I literally can’t do anymore my brain is dying 

I might possibly write this for reals someday i dunno I’m stuck in two personal hells here so I might as well combine ‘em

Yes I’m aware this post leans more heavily on Keys than UF but its set in the world of UF so fuck off 

Feel free to add on with any thoughts you might have about the idea

I’m tired

Amen