#he's literally him bro

[someone7619]

Now that I think about it, Goddard is literally just playing that "No Russian" mission from Call Of Duty like it's nothing. He is literally a menace to society like he would be the type of person to rub their hands together when thinking about a mischievous idea.

No wonder why the scythedom collapsed when they let that blue shithead go running around trying to be the next Vladimir Makarov with little to no consequences. Can't trust these new order scythes, man.

[prlssprfctn]

Give me Bruce and Jason, who are not on the war path anymore, but they are still awkward and absolutely clueless on how to make things up, so they pretend that they need something from each other in order to spend some time together. Even if these things are absolutely simple, and both of them could handle it themselves, if they wanted to.

Bruce, calling Jason in the random Friday night: So, Alfred left for a week. And I promised kids to do a homemade cake for them. And you know how useless I am in the kitchen. So.

Jason, who knows that Bruce is, in fact, not useless in the kitchen, but low-key misses cooking with him, because the last time they did it, it was Alfred's birthday before his death, and they did the cake together: Theoretically, I agree.

Bruce, sighing in relief: Theoretically, I will need you in Manor tomorrow in the morning. And I theoretically will pay for that.

Jason: Theoretically, see you tomorrow.

Bruce: Theoretically, thank you.

Jason, dealing Bruce in the middle of the night: Old man. Bail me out of the prison. I am in CGDP's building.

Bruce, knowing well that Jason wouldn't be caught in the first place, if he didn't want all of this to happen, and even if he did, he would easily escape without him, getting involved, but also knowing that today is anniversary of the day Bruce adopted Jason, and it is his way to spend time together: ...Okay. May I ask what did you do?

Jason: ...Stole Gordon's tires.

Bruce, stifling his laughter: I see. I will be here in a few minutes.

[fanaticalthings]

next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄

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[noodles-and-tea]

also what about an inverse twins in time au where ford went back to the 60's and stan stayed in the 80's?

Oh this is super interesting

[vinestaff]

sighs. another guy in my brain i guess

[baepsays]

Gojo Satoru sees you for the first time at a mutual friend's party—and immediately his eyes get stuck on you. the entire time he's watching you drink leisurely at the end of the couch, and roll your eyes at the dude bros attempting to flirt with you, while you ignored them.

after 40 mins of staring, he comes up to you and shoves the guy —pathetically trying to get you to sleep with him— off the armrest of the couch you're sitting on. Satoru just ignores the guy shouting at him and and throwing a fit on the floor. he takes a seat on the armrest instead and looks you dead in the eyes, and goes;

"you look like someone who thinks men ain't shit and would probably make a face that alone would make me cry."

you raise one of your eyebrows at him just a bit amused. confused whether he was trying to pick a fight or what else was he trying at. he goes on and continues what he was saying;

"so please fuck me."

.

.

a/n: divider by @/enchanthings-a. to access more of my works-click here.

[lotus-pear]

i love you royal trio (minus akechi)

[dykespirk]

10/10 funniest Spock moment is when he accidentally tells everyone he went blind bc he forgot he has an extra set of eyelids.

he ACTUALLY thought that HE, himself, was permanently blinded before going, 20 minutes later, “OH FUCK! I can see again”

normally that’s something Spock would do just to fuck with everyone but this time he also had his ass handed to him because he couldn’t remember HIS OWN NUMBER OF EYELIDS

best Vulcan ever. I know Starfleet is still telling stories about him to this day

[humbuns]

oomf said malleus would dress like morticia addams and they're right

[whirlpool-blogs]

Jack pulling in Luke to sit on the couch + Luke pretending to look put-upon but immediately leaning back to tuck himself FURTHER under Jack’s arm and looking extremely snug as a bug

[reverentwormpriest]

bitches mad he can experience childhood whimsy and delight. CEO of moisturized and in my lane. "my gf is mad at me I hope I die" personified

[outromoony]

I just love that part in fics when Remus realizes he's in love with Sirius, and instead of being bashful or cute, his internal monologue is just, 'FUCK, I'm in love with Sirius Black.'

[curiousstrawberry]

I love Tarquin so much. He's such a fucking bitch about everything and then you learn he works in administration and it's like yeah, no i get this he's like me fr

[eyeballs-in-my-head]

Please give me spicy noodles :(

(either the ship or actually draw spicy noodles)

Surprise me !!

NOODLES!!!!!!☝️❤️

Here's an alt version of the speech bubbles bc I'm silly and goofy

Didn't turn out fully how I wanted but.... it's something🥲

[gurggggleburgle]

personally, I think for moshang baby trapping I don't even think they had sex for the baby trapping. I think mbj just walked in and said he was pregnant and told sqh the kid was his and sqh filled in the blanks with wifeplot and weird mpreg artifacts and did not think twice on it because he's sleep deprived and at this point just rolls with this shit. We're already in this deep. Sure we stood in front of the magic mpreg mirror and ate some fruit or something and now I'm a father on top of overworked; just throw more synonyms for exhaustion at me and we'll add them in. What's more.

There's already a baby in there might as well get hot sex before i die. Really though Mobei-Jun needs like one more ingredient in his mpreg plot contrivance and it's Shang Qinghua to confess his love and manages to get that before the end of his first trimester through hard work and emotional honesty and becomes magic pregnant. So Mobei-Jun completes his ass backwards plan so he can ride that dick hard enough to get a perfect A+ in pregnancy and banks on the fact that Shang Qinghua doesn't know enough about this to notice the timeline is off

[degenerateshinji]

this scene but if lu guang had upper body strength