#he's also bi but that's not really relevant to the plot here

[ymdslf]

nonbinary steve who reads about being trans in a random zine in a tiny queer bookshop robin dragged him into and now he's having a full on gender identity crisis, because he's a boy, right? obviously he is. he's not a girl. when he asks robin how she knows she's a girl she just shrugs and tells him "i dunno dude, i just do" which really isn't helping, so now he's just reading every. single. thing he can about the topic.

and when he takes robin to a gay club, to get her a girl already because he can't take one more day of her lesbian yearning, he loves her but one more "her eyes were like the moon, steve. like the moon!", he will jump out of a moving car. and there, nursing a beer at bar, he meets someone; this super hot dude. or girl? a very attractive person. and they ask him his pronouns, and he tells them "just the regular boy ones" and they laugh and tell him theirs, and that's the first genderqueer person he conciously meets. and they're talking, and drinking, and then steve is slightly tipsy and then he's asking "how'd y'know?" and then the person has that same soft look, the same soft spoken "oh" that he had when robin came out to him. and they tell him, and now steve's crying and this stranger is holding them, because wow. there it is. this something that just feels right.

and a week later, they just breaks down on a bathroom floor, in the cubicle next to robin. and they're sobbing, and in tears they tells her, because they can't not tell her, but also they're terrified of her rejecting them. but she crawls over the wall separating the two of them, falling down and somehow managing to land on her feet. and she hugs them, and tells them that it's alright. she'll always be there for them. she'll punch everyone who's an asshole about it. she asks if steve still wants to be called he and they tell her they have no idea, but maybe she could say they instead? and she says that she'll absolutely do that, and now they're both crying and hugging, sitting on a dirty bathroom floor.

[adinfernumadinfinitum]

Welcome to my silly little fan theory @emmg:

How Raphael is the ‘Mastermind’ behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3…

…or how I give him more importance than I should.

DISCLAIMER:

In this ‘dissertation,’ I present my take on things based on Dungeons and Dragons 5e lore from the Forgotten Realms universe, along with fandom theories and headcanons where they suit me. This is NOT an in-depth analysis of anything, so I won’t be reciting specific quotes, etc.

I repeat, this is just MY take on things. If a similar theory already exists, feel free to reach out, and I’ll gladly tag the material!

Oh, and there are a lot of spoilers about, well, everything, so read at your own risk ⚠️

I thank the lovely @bitethedevil for allowing me to tag their posts, making it easier on me so I don’t have to write everything out! I also want to take this moment to appreciate their work and contributions to this fandom! ☺️

Introduction

Baldur’s Gate 3 is a brilliant, complex, multi-layered game filled with multiple villains, heroic figures, and a plot that weaves players in seamlessly. That’s why we love this game—at least, that’s why I do—the gripping storyline and its faceted characters.

The game is set in the Forgotten Realms with DnD lore and rules, while still adding and maintaining its own unique features and twists.

But what if we entirely take a look at it from DnD lore perspective?

Section 1: Raphael as the core character in Baldur’s Gate 3

Fans of the Emperor might argue with me here, but oh man, have you seen how many pies Raphael has his fingers in?

This narcissistic little shit of a cambion plotted his grand design to take the Crown of Karsus for over 2,000 years, planning everything with terrifying precision and putting in a staggering amount of effort—all to manipulate Tav or Durge into giving him the crown.

To understand just how far back his scheming goes, we have to start with the fall of Netheril. As Raphael himself tells us, this is where it all began, and when his father seized the crown, it became impossible for Raphael to obtain it himself.

Baator—the Nine Layers of Hell—has its own system and rules. The plane is aligned as lawful evil, and by its laws, anyone who breaks them is punished; in other words, theft is a crime (don’t try this at home edition).

Am I going to explain the system and rules of the Nine Hells? Hell no, or I’ll be sitting here until next Halloween. Sorry, maybe in a separate post sometime (or not) 😭

So Raphael had to get creative if he wanted to get his greedy claws on the crown.

You can read about how much Raphael’s involvement is actually found in the game Baldur’s Gate 3 here.

What’s relevant for this ‘dissertation’ are the following points, which all show how he orchestrates the plot:

1. Raphael, Vlaakith, and the Astral Prism —

Raphael even plots to capture Orpheus. Not personally, of course, but with the knowledge that it could benefit him and would even serve its purpose in the future. This is a crucial detail.

However, I don’t believe Raphael would craft or have someone craft an item like the Astral Prism, as well as the bindings of Orpheus (the mask, chains, and binding crystals) and the Orphic Hammer. It’s more likely these objects already existed in the Hells, with Raphael profiting by dealing with them.

Sadly there is no official information on that, I really find that interesting.

As for why the Orphic Hammer is called Orphic Hammer - why is Orpheus called Orpheus? He’s a liberator for his people, having inherited the power of Mother Gith, who freed the Gith from mind flayer enslavement. The character of Orpheus draws heavily from Orpheus in Greek mythology, a symbol of liberation, love, and the attempt to rescue a soul from the bonds of death. The term “Orphic” reflects this sense of breaking free from constraints or seeking transformation (of course, it has other meanings, too, but this one feels like what the developers were aiming for).

So the hammer’s name has both symbolic depth and a bit of pun, as it’s intended to free the character Orpheus from his chains.

ANYWAY

2. Raphael, Moonrise Towers, and the Gauntlet of Shar —

The amount of interwoven contracts Raphael has made in the Shadow Cursed Lands is suspicious, and each and every one of them is too , an important point.

Isn’t it just a bit too convenient that Ketheric’s misery plays right into Raphael’s hands? The Shadow-Cursed Lands—Reithwin, once ruled by Ketheric, formerly full of Selunite worshippers but ruined by schemes of the Dark Lady who turned a grieving worshipper of her sister into a Shar follower and leader of an army of Dark Justiciars—is a whole breeding ground for contracts and a stage for Raphael’s play.

Hold on, I’m not implying that I believe Raphael had a hand in Shar’s mischief here, but I do think Raphael handpicked Ketheric, a grieving and obsessed madman (a truly tragic character, honestly), to be an unwitting pawn in his schemes, without directly involving himself. To do this, he contracted with desperate beings like the Architect, Yurgir, and the last Dark Justiciar.

To understand why Raphael would even need Ketheric, we have to look a step further.

3. Raphael and my beloved raccoon boy, Gortash —

Raphael buying Gortash from his parents was a calculated move and the final piece in the Netherbrain plot scheme.

I believe Raphael specifically chose Enver Gortash, a boy with potential, for his plans to get the Crown of Karsus.

Look, Gortash is anything but dumb; in fact, he’s the exact opposite. He learned the ropes in Hell, literally imprisoned in Raphael’s House of Hope. All jokes aside about pot-scrubbing duty and overhearing Raphael and Haarlep getting it on, Gortash is a quick learner.

Raphael just had to watch as Gortash escaped the House of Hope with vital information about the crown. With this, Raphael set up an ambitious, cunning man with the drive to steal the crown.

And this is where Ketheric returns to the picture. Ketheric, the chosen of Myrkul; Gortash, the chosen of Bane; and Durge, the chosen of Bhaal.

As for how Raphael might have gotten his hands on Durge? I’ll leave that as the theory’s plot hole.

I could fill it with headcanons—like Gortash and Durge knowing each other even before Gortash was sold—but that feels a bit far-fetched.

Actually, all of this is a bit far-fetched, but hey, it’s my silly little theory.

But hey again, we’re slowly coming to a conclusion how Raphael is the mastermind behind BG3, do you see my vision?

All Raphael needed was patience. The chosen ones, Gortash and Durge, set the stage by planning the Netherbrain coup and, in stealing the crown, executed Raphael’s plan. All they needed was the third chosen, Ketheric, to carry out the rest of the plot: building the Absolute’s army, etc., the rest we know...

So, what was left? Just someone desperate enough to make a deal with Raphael and actually hand over the Crown of Karsus. And how would he pull that off?

✨The Tadpole Gang✨

Every single one of them fits the bill. Especially if the player chooses Durge.

The next question is: how could he manipulate the group if they were under the Absolute’s influence? Well, that’s where the Emperor comes onto the stage.

Because, hear me out one more time: isn’t it convenient that the Emperor, of all people, finds the Astral Prism? A figure obsessed with freedom and manipulation, ambitious and clever, who would serve perfectly as a kind of protection shield from the Elder Brain’s influence for the gang? And to that even a disposable figure as it is a mind flayer who would not be trusted in the end.

(Naturally, in the game the player is the ultimate executional force, making any kind of higher plan or scheme either perfect or useless)

Nevertheless, this is as far as I will dive into this specific pond.

I just think it adds up nicely.

But Björni, if you have a Section 1, what about a Section 2? you might ask. Well, here it comes…

… how this ‘dissertation’ is actually about Mephistopheles being the ‘Mastermind’ behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Section 2: Raphael as the Scapegoat

DnD’s lore about fiends—and, specifically, cambions—teaches us that they’re doomed to fail from birth. While they may think they’re in control of their schemes, they’re actually playing into the hands of their fiendish parent.

Ever wondered why Mephistopheles would even bother devouring Raphael if we defeat him? Sure, cambion sons are nourishing (yum yum), but given Mephistopheles’ personality, I’d guess he does it to humiliate his son, even in death, for being a failure—a failure to retrieve the crown for his father.

But wait, Mephistopheles already had the crown—why would he bother plotting all of this just to get it back? Isn’t that a bit over-the-top, Björni?

Bear with me: it’s not officially written anywhere, but it’s more or less canon based on what we know of the Archdevils Asmodeus and Mephistopheles.

Asmodeus rules the Hells, while Mephistopheles, as the Archduke of the 8th layer, Cania, is arguably the second most powerful being in Baator. Mephistopheles has never stopped dreaming of overthrowing Asmodeus, even after repeatedly failing miserably. But if he openly tried to use the crown against Asmodeus, it would be a direct affront, and Asmodeus would have shut it down from the start.

Mephistopheles has other children besides Raphael, and Raphael isn’t exactly useless, he’s actually the complete opposite. Strategically, it wouldn’t make sense to discard such a puppet (call him son)—unless Raphael had done something atrocious. And for someone as mighty as Mephistopheles, controlling his little cambion son would be child’s play. So, then why does Raphael hate his father so much, and why is Raphael ‘residing’ in Avernus?

As we know, Avernus is the armpit of Baator, a plane for exiles and outcasts.

I think Mephistopheles intentionally filled his relationship with Raphael with hatred, so Raphael’s ambition to overthrow his father would ignite and one day serve him. When Mephistopheles got the Crown of Karsus, unable to wield it himself, he set the stage for his son’s scheme—by casting Raphael aside, Mephistopheles set him on the path to steal the crown, with Mephistopheles only indirectly involved in overthrowing Asmodeus. Raphael would do the dirty work—taking over the other layers—before ultimately facing his father, who could then just snatch the crown from him. And yes, I do believe Mephistopheles is arrogant enough to think he’d still be more powerful than his son, even with a god-like artifact. He has that bloated of an ego.

BUT (Nr. 36,252), what about Asmodeus? Wouldn’t he step in and crush the plan?

Here’s the thing: Asmodeus generally doesn’t mind if his archdukes fight for control of their layers, as long as it doesn’t threaten his supreme authority or destabilize Hell’s hierarchy. In fact, he encourages a bit of rivalry and ambition among his archdevils, as infighting serves his purposes.

And can you imagine THE Asmodeus being worried about an over-ambitious cambion?

However, this leads to the TRUE instigator and the true subject of this ‘dissertation’…

… how Asmodeus is actually the ‘Mastermind’ behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Section 3: Asmodeus doing things, just because

Joke’s on you—it’s been about Asmodeus all along, because even if he’d lose (not that he ever would—he’s just that powerful), he’d claim at the last minute that it was his plan all along. Losing trusted allies? What a bunch of traitors—perfect excuse to clean house. Losing Baator? Finally, he was sick of the job.

All jokes aside, Asmodeus being the cunning bastard he is, would likely pull off everything mentioned above.

To understand why he’d even bother, let’s take a quick (really quick, this is already getting too long) dive into his background and shenanigans in DnD.

Throughout DnD’s development from 1e to 5e, Asmodeus has gone through quite the evolution, eventually becoming a Greater Deity, the Embodiment of Evil, and one of the mightiest beings in existence, rivaled only by Ao.

While 5e keeps things vague to allow player interpretation, Asmodeus has consistently been the most powerful entity in the Hells—a schemer, strategist, and supreme manipulator.

(Here’s the only quote I’ll reference:) “[…] His sinister machinations could take centuries, if not millennia, to come to fruition, and his master plans extended across the entire multiverse. His labyrinthine, insidious intrigues could seem inexplicable to most outside observers, for Asmodeus let even his own servants stew in fear of his next move. With all the planes as his board, the Lord of Lies maneuvered the forces of evil like chess pieces in his grand designs, slowly and subtly manipulating everyone from deities to, when needed, lowly mortals.”

He’s described as being a thousand steps ahead of everyone. And while most of his plans serve greater purposes beyond even godly comprehension, some things he does just because—just for fun.

CONCLUSION

Of course Asmodeus knew Mephistopheles had the crown. Of course he knew Mephistopheles would never use it openly against him. And of course he knew Mephistopheles would keep scheming to use it indirectly, bringing his cambion son Raphael into the game.

Why would Asmodeus let all this happen, and why am I saying he’s the real mastermind?

Like already mentioned, Asmodeus often (indirectly) encourages and manipulates his archdukes to scheme and fight among themselves as a means to reinforce his dominance, foster survival of the fittest, and test loyalty within the infernal hierarchy. However, he maintains strict boundaries, and any conflict that risks his supreme authority, disrupts Hell’s role in the multiverse, or leads to excessive chaos would be swiftly and ruthlessly quashed. In Asmodeus’s mind, such rivalries are a useful tool—as long as they remain safely under his control.

In my view, the Crown of Karsus was never a real threat to him; this whole plot served his entertainment, tested loyalties, or helped him gauge his chess pieces.

And that’s how Asmodeus is the real mastermind behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Thanks for reading this mass of nonsense ❤️

Why I even bothered with all this shit? It’s one of the key plot points in my longfic, Ah, You Devil!

[lemotmo]

I am confused by people on the daily but sending it to you because I loved her response. She has to be exhausted by her inbox 😭. I don't know how you all handle this.

Q. I need a few things explained to me. I will say upfront I am camp Tommy. The article did not seem pro Tommy and Buck to me, but plenty of my Tommy peers were thrilled with it, but so were Buddie fans so there is a disconnect in someone's interpretation. It was unnecessary for Tim to have brought up Eddie there. They weren't talking about Eddie, it was inappropriate. It doesn't matter that Lou and Oliver never did a chemistry test, they're fine together. Why do people care? Lastly Oliver clearly has an agenda. It would not have killed him to hold that picture of Ryan for another day. He could have let us have our confirmation that Tommy is indeed back and maybe shared a pic of him instead of Ryan. Lou can have BTS stuff too.

A. The article speaks for itself. It doesn't require interpretation. Tim mentioned Eddie because they're all part of the same storyline. Period. People can choose to ignore that fact if they want but it won't change the storyline. Eddie is the point. Eddie has been the point. That theme is carrying over into this season. Buck's relationship with Tommy is going to play some part in whatever Eddie's self discovery is going to be. Tim wouldn't have mentioned Eddie in relation to the pair otherwise. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think TV shows do chemistry reads unless it's a long term thing. If it is just for a particular plot or storyline they will cast the actor that best fits the plot purpose. The chemistry is secondary to the overall plot so I'm not at all surprised that they didn't do a chemistry read. Their chemistry isn't the point. The storyline he was cast for is the point. In this case the plot purpose is Buck and Eddie. Eddie told Buck him being bi wouldn't change anything between the two of them when in reality everything is going to change. That is the point. Oliver's chemistry with Lou isn't relevant in any way.

I would not look too hard for him in any BTS. And I know you won't believe this but I think that is for your benefit. Why give you anything that may lead you to believe he's anything other than a plot point? They shouldn't include him. It's not realistic. And feeds into something that has already been taken way out of context. Lastly, Oliver does have an agenda. He always has. He always offers counter programming to the canon. It will not change unless the canon becomes Buddie. He has been this way from the beginning. And he doesn't owe anyone an apology for that.

Thank you so much Nonny. As always, much appreciated.

*sigh*

I really feel like everyone should just give Ali a break here. She has explained this over a 1000 times already. How many times does she need to repeat it?

I agree with all of this.

Also, that article was blunt and in your face. Tim brought up Eddie when talking about BT, which is something the show has done since day one by the way. Eddie has ALWAYS been involved in this storyline and he will continue to become even more important in this storyline, because the whole purpose of BT was always Buddie.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[ranbling]

Hi i had a couple of thoughts about BTs and their shipping, which i posted on my own blog a while ago, but I'd like to throw out here for your thoughts -

BTs and T stans' love for BT seems to be based on a LOT of assumptions and unfounded headcanons, the primary one being that T's racism and sexism and his entire unpleasant personality is not really him, it's all a facade, a self-defence mechanism he developed in response to the discrimination and repression he's suffered, but now that sunshine Evan is in his life, he's going to learn to open up and love again and be vulnerable and transform back into his true self, a sweet kind gentle warm affectionate compassionate loving man who's perfect for Buck - basically they think he'll turn into Eddie (and they're already writing fics like that).

(and some of them think s8 Eddie will turn into T - a lackey and Yes Man for Gerrard)

I feel like the other misconception/assumption that BTs make, which leads them to imagine and root for endgame BT, is that caring about and validating and accommodating buck's feelings and reassuring him and affirming him when he's insecure and showing an interest in and enthusiasm for things he's excited about (you know, like Eddie does)-

Doing all that is actually infantilising him and is bad for him! and what he REALLY needs is someone who doesn't particularly go out of their way to make him feel safe and comfortable and heard and understood. It's time for buck to grow up and mature and get over himself! and T in all his cynical snide casually dismissive condescension is the perfect partner to do that!! This is an ADULT relationship (with lots of sex), as BTs like to say ad nauseum

Hi!

I think the reason why the perception to Tommy's character is so divided is due to multiple things. First is Buck is bi! This is a great thing to be confirmed and a lots of people got so happy about it that they didn't really cared about Tommy (who is quite literally a plot device during that moment. Any male character could have replaced him and the scene would have stayed the same).

Second: many bt stans started to watch the show after the kiss and refused to go back and watch the rest of the show. Or they went back, but somehow missed the whole point of the Hen and Chimney Begins episodes. If you look into the tag for those episodes, it's filled with gifs about Tommy, raving about how good he looks and don't mention the fact that he was an asshole. There is also a mandela -effect happening and people are trying to make it seem like Tommy was actually in the background and did nothing wrong, when he was the most vocal in the whole group. Chimney Begins shows that Tommy was the one to start the racist comments. They're literally saying that Sal DeLuca (a guy who wasn't even in Chimney Begins and looked annoyed through the whole Hen Begins) was the one who acted like Tommy did in canon.

Third: Lou and his cameos. Not really talking about the fact that he kept raising the price to exploit the fans (though what were we expecting from a nepo baby, who posted pictures of himself lusting after women's asses to insta. Absolutely disgusting). He was the one who set the precedent when he called Tommy's behaviour teasing. He's the one who keeps coming up with tragic backstories to Tommy to excuse his behaviour. He was the one who lied multiple times on his cameos to make his character more relevant. He was the one who decided to fuel all the headcanons by confirming them as long as someone payed him 150+ dollars for a few minutes long video.

Also, I find the whole self-defense mechanism stupid. Tommy was a grown white man during Chimney and Hen Begins (he had to be 28 at the youngest during Chimney Begins for his military backstory to make sense). He could have protected himself by just staying in the background and not participating in the racism. He shown no sign of being uncomfortable with Gerrard's behaviour and the only time he looked annoyed was when Hen was giving her speech. It makes more sense that he just stopped saying bigoted things out loud because the captains after Gerrard were not tolerating it. There is a reason neither Hen or Chimney kept in touch with him after he left the 118. Chimney calling him once for assistance was for work reasons, and in s3 they both make very clear they don't keep in touch with anyone from the old 118.

All of their characterization of Tommy is only fanon. They totally disregard canon. In canon Tommy couldn't care less about Buck's feelings. He left Buck standing on the curb after he annoyed him (and I 100% believe Buck did nothing wrong, that was his first time on the date while being out) and somehow put the blame on Buck for it (which he tends to do a lot. He also blames the enviroment and Gerrard for his racism). Then he totally ignored Buck's planning of the bachelor party (how you show an interest in someone when you couldn't do the fucking minimum), made condescending comments (the henley comment). Being on call is not an excuse, he had to change anyways. Yes, he was in the hospital, but he probably was going there anyways.

I'm not gonna touch the last paragraph with a ten feet pole, because I hate that part and I fear I wouldn't be able to stay civili if I started to talk about that, however if you say things like "fuck the sad out of him" when Buck's dad is in the hospital and how concerned about Tommy is about him, I think it's pretty clear you're only fetishizing them

[catboygirljoker]

fun writing tip: you can justify making your blorbos as good at sex as you want if you also make it depressing

i will try not to be too graphic or horny and keep it mostly to character study analysis themes core motivations plot conflicts etc type discussion. still, id really prefer that folks under 18 do not interact with me on this post or about this topic in general, thanks!

for obvious reasons this post is gonna have a cut

UNLIKE HIS DIIIIICK [EXTREMELY LOUD AIRHORNS]

. sorry i just feel like hed appreciate that joke. uh anyway

Brief discussions of: BDSM, including sadomasochism; edgeplay; derealization/dysphoria; self-destructive recklessness in a sexual context.

ok. so there's this fictional guy. and i kiiiiiiind of have a crush on him. and i'm a basic bitch, so, like, obviously, when i think about him hornystyle, i want to imagine him being good at sex.

the thing is, "good at sex" is not always a particularly interesting trait to give a character! it can often be an eyerolling power fantasy trait. like "this is my oc Chuck Dongburger he has a ten pound cock and can make a babe cum just by lookin at her" yknow. it's a trait that, handled incorrectly, is more likely to flatten conflict than create it—more likely to make stories more boring than to make them more interesting.

also, "being good at sex" isnt a magical blessing that descends upon someone by chance. it is a quality that stems from a set of experiences and traits. it is a skill that one develops, or fails to develop.

so the question is, how do i justify him being good at sex? how do i make it feel believable and interesting?

the answer is simple! make it depressing! (that is, relate it directly to the character's central themes and conflicts, and therefore make it a natural part of/inclusion in their story)

in canon, xigbar has had multiple bodies, lost his heart multiple times, allowed himself to be a vessel for darkness on multiple occasions. he has endured all of this to carry out the will of his masters. every social role we've ever seen him take has been subservient to someone else, even if it has usually also involved social power over others, too.

here are the sex/relationship headcanons i have that expand on this:

related to: gender/sexuality

bisexual. for starters. obviously. his transness i have Deep Headcanons about, but his bisexuality is just "idk im bi so hes bi hee hee"

luxu is a binary trans man who experienced severe dysphoria in his original body and never felt like that body really belonged to him in the first place. to the best of his ability he has only chosen cis male vessels, including braig. in those cases he feels extreme disconnect from his body but not [very noticeable] gender dysphoria. the only thing connecting him to his cis male bodies is his sexual characteristics. theres this great art piece that has never left my brain that conveys the idea im going for. his face his hair his bones none of those are his, none of thise feel real, none of those feel right. but what does feel right is his dick.

related to: him being Good at Sex™

he is Very Experienced. he's tried a lot of shit and had a lot of bodies and largely had nothing better to do than be a horndog and kill time suckin and fuckin. he is down for just about anything with just about anybody. he knows how bodies work and knows how to deal with the exceptions and roll with awkwardness and uncomfortableness.

he is pretty good at reading people—it's a skill he has had to develop over his lifetime. he is sometimes wrong, but usually right, and reading people, understanding them, lets him feel like he has some kind of control or power over them. this is relevant because this is part of what makes him Good at Sex. he is shockingly responsive and attentive; not completely unselfish as a lover, but he won't blindly exert his will onto the other person and expect them to respond just because he has a big dick or is going faster or harder or whatever.

related to: his backstory as luxu

sex for him is a means of exerting control over the world, proving his own competence and worth to himself and another person, gaining some simulacrum of human connection, distracting himself from his derealization, grounding himself in his body, expressing and claiming his masculinity. all things, i headcanon, he also achieves (or seeks/has sought to achieve) from keyblade mastery.

he views his bodies as disposable, and knowing that he can just jump ship if he totals a body means that he processes pain differently than most people. not in a "all pain makes him horny" way*—it's more that pain doesn't make his self-preservation kick in the same way it does for other people. in bdsm/kink settings he is a masochist [as well as a sadist] and more reckless with edgeplay (when it comes to himself) than he really ought to be.

obviously i have specific personal motivation for wanting to headcanon this (he and his body are both Significantly Older Than Me) but i don't think he's too bothered by an age gap. some people it makes sense to me to imagine that they'd really want to date within their age and maturity range, but i think xigbar's chill as long as the person he's dating is a self-posessed adult. considering how long he's been alive, he's gonna have a significant gap in experience with ANYBODY; there isn't that much of a difference between him dating a 25 year old vs a 45 or 85 year old.

he has told close romantic partners about his Whole Deal before. it has never gone well. ("what do you mean youve been moving into random people's bodies in order to stay alive long enough to bring back a guy who intentionally manipulated his students into killing all of their students via senseless war??") they never understand and he doesn't know why they don't understand (i also headcanon him having severe cognitive dissonance vis a vis the MoM but that's a different post). his instinct is to put up a wall and go "well theyre just naive and stupid and haven't seen what i've seen, theyre too sentimental to understand this". he still keeps trying (if with less frequency) because he is desperate for someone to understand.

*i want to make this crystal clear: i do not headcanon xigbar as being automatically turned on by receiving or causing pain in every context, because he is a boss in a video game franchise where he fights teenagers. i am not comfortable sexualizing those fights!

(i do however think there are contexts where he might indulge in some "battle sadomasochism" when fighting another adult—maybe he makes it weird for them on purpose to fuck with them, maybe they're both into it and it's all foreplay, etc)

related to: him being subservient

youd think that when i talked about him being subservient to others, i was building up to a headcanon about him being a sub. however it feels most correct [and fun] to me to imagine him being a dom-leaning switch vers (doesnt get dysphoria from bottoming because. prostate). social role and personal dynamics dont necessarily correspond to sexual dynamics!

the headcanon i was actually building up to was that he craves affirmation in specific ways from specific people. he is desperate for someone else to give him worth. he wants to do a good job serving an authority he deems worthy of respect. he wants to be useful, he wants to serve a purpose and have a role. he hates feeling like he needs something from someone else, and feels much more comfortable if they need something from him.

he doesn't have a praise kink in a traditional sense, but he does really get his rocks off from being Good At Sex and from his lovers clearly and obviously enjoying themselves. he doesn't wanna be told hes done a good job, he wants to know, to tell from experience that he's blown someone's mind.

furthermore, in romance, he becomes a massive simp. if he likes someone enough to fall for them then they hang the fucking moon for him. he is outside in the rain crying throwing up begging for a sniff. absolutely pathetic. its not a total transformation of personality, i think he'd really hide it and really want to hide it. but i think in most situations it'd be subtle but observable. every joke he makes is directed to them and checked against their reaction; he stands at a middle distance outside of conversation kinda watching them, observing every move, memorizing their gestures and tics and quirks. he feels i love you before the first date but won't say it until five years into the relationship.

related to: i couldnt put it in the other sections and i really only made these section headers so it wasnt just big walls of text oops

he's a low empathy emotionally constipated bitch at the best of times, so he substitutes emotional intimacy with physical intimacy. picking up people at bars or dances or what have you for one night stands, satisfying them thoroughly, and then immediately dropping out of their lives.

he actively avoids romance (and any emotional closeness, including the completely platonic kind). but he hasn't always been this way. i think Dark Road was the most recent in a long long string of experiences where he lost people he was close to. he's tired of hurting people and getting hurt.

. im not gonna get into it because im trying not to be like too too horny in this post but hes So fucking brat tamer coded to me. i think you will understand at least the surface level reasons for this. i guess if i wanted to relate it to Themes i'd say something like "there is a specific romantic and sexual fantasy in being an asshole and even hurting someone and them still wanting you and trusting you and loving you and even enjoying it" but. well we dont need to go there do we

these are just the Depressing / Character-Related / Themes-y headcanons. some of my headcanons are just like "i think this would be funny and/or in character and/or hot" but you see how long this list is anyway. if i started in on all of that then we'd be here forever.

also, these are just headcanons! they're informed by analysis but shaped heavily by what appeals to me personally, what i find hot, what i find compelling about his character. if your headcanons for him differ from mine in any way, i don't think you're Wrong, because we're talking about the sexuality of a guy who comes from a video game franchise where characters are barely allowed to hold hands. this is all just toys and playing

anyway thank you for reading this post lmao its so long

JUST LIKE HIS DIIIIIIIIIIII—

[stagefoureddiediaz]

I still think Tommy won’t be shown much at all. There really is no need. Eddie can express his jealously with little bitchy comments and facial expressions.

I’m not sure. I don’t think we’ll get a huge amount of Tommy but I do think we’ll see him fairly often - for a couple of reasons - yes you can do a fair amount of the work via exposition (such as buck telling Eddie he’s not free because he has a date with Tommy etc etc) but you do also need to establish things visually.

We need to be shown Tommy visually present to heighten the distance - to show him coming between buck and Eddie and interrupting their dynamic. You can’t build drama and tension if you don’t show it. It’s far more powerful if we’re shown Eddie alone while buck is with Tommy rather than it just being talked about.

The other aspect of this is the fact Tommy is Eddie lite and the viewer needs to be shown more of that - it was a key part of the bi buck storyline - his confused feelings - buck misunderstanding the assignment. Showing Tommy with buck allows the viewer to also be shown Eddie and buck which allows the differences in their dynamics to be made explicit.

The show spent all of s7 putting buck front and centre in Eddie and Christopher’s life - paralleling him with Shannon and baking it perfectly clear the three of them have a family dynamic going on. S7 also spent a lot of time putting Eddie into the middle of the buck and Tommy narrative - he’s literally always there even when he’s not. Showing buck and Tommy interacting allows that second aspect especially to be developed further - Eddie always being there even when he’s not is something you can’t establish if Tommy isn’t seen with buck. And that creates tension in the relationship that you can only achieve by giving him some screen time.

Personally I think there are lots of red flags that the show has deliberately had Tommy waving around and I expect those to be developed further. I think he’s manipulative and controlling and I think we’ll see that coercive control explored a bit because it is in part something Gerrard does as well and Tommy was under Gerrards captaincy for a good period of time. Buck struggling under Gerrard as captain plays into this as well and the show likes to use mirrors and juxtapositions - buck has become the buck he is today under the guiding influence of bobby - his captain (and dad) and paralleling Tommy becoming who he is today because he was under Gerrard makes sense and established the ultimate incompatibility of buck and Tommy - because Buck struggling with Gerrard and the way he behaves and treats people means he will struggle with Tommy too because those behaviours are also in Tommy. There’s a reason why we’ve had next to zero accountability from Tommy for his past behaviours - which would’ve been super easy to do without taking up much screen time. It’s because it’s still relevant and important to Tommys arc as a plot device. This arc for buck is seemingly about nature v nurture and how nurture is more important than nature. buck is who he is because of Maddie and then bobby (and hen and Chim and Eddie as well but they’re not his main influences) and they’re nurturing of him, not because of nature - of his parents (this is a very nuanced thing and broad stroking it here). Tommy has stated he had a less than stellar father and was then nurtured by Gerrard and that has made him who he is. Whilst being under bobby for a bit and whomever he’s been captained by since will have in theory developed him further and lessened those influences of G and his father (and likely his superior officers in the military as well who were probably of the Gerrard ilk), it’s not going to have undone it completely.

I’m not saying we’ll be seeing him every episode in 8a or anything, but I do expect him to get several minutes of screen time over multiple scenes when he is in episodes because it’s important for bucks storyline and development - and that is what we have to remember and prepare for.

I did not mean to end up with an essay about Tommy and his red flags but here we are!! Hope it makes sense and is interesting

[nicosraf]

Hi sorry if this is incredibly weird and feel free to ignore me… but what is between Lucifer’s legs? Because I am imagining a kind of plant anatomy akin to Vash the Stampede’s fanon plussy, based on the interlude in ABM where it says something like “petals here.” And simply I think that would be very cool for an Angel to have— specifically Lucifer with all his flower imagery.

Would you be willing to shed some light on the subject?

Not a weird question! And the short answer is that he has whatever you want him to. All the angels have whatever you want.

I get this ask in different variations a lot, basically since I first published abm. I know Lucifer says "cock and cunt" but I never actually describe what he means when he says that, and as per A&M, u can see that angels understand "he" differently, so there's a huge possibility that they understand those words to mean different things than they would on a human.

There's a lot of intentional ambiguity because 1. i think angel gender/sex is fun to leave completely incomprehensible to the reader, 2. i ascribe to angels not having one gender over the other (this being the answer for the dual creation of gender in genesis, rather than the Lilith answer, which I mentioned recently), 3. Milton made them bi-gender with the use of he/him and I like to follow him, and 4. it created room for it to be a broader "queer retelling" rather than just a gay or sapphic or trans one. (And there are many more reasons).

SO! I like considering that the angels might have genitals that are extremely alien. Sometimes I consider them having normal "male" genitals (and that having no attachment of gender to them). Sometimes I give them varying genitals in my head. It's purposefully inconsistent and contradictory to allow room for the reader and me to imagine whatever. (And not in a lazy "leave it up to interpretation" way, but very intentionally and with relevance to the plot. I mean, would the Watchers be so freaked out about gender if they had regular genitals? The story changes a little depending on the answer.)

I've never seen Vash the Stampede but that sounds pretty cool tbh, and you're free to consider it canon to ABM in the way that imagining Lucifer with a penis or a vulva or both or neither is also canon. Also I really like the use of the flower imagery that way. I always thought that if ABM was in a visual media then a lot of genitals would be covered with flowers to provide the same room for interpretation that the book does.

[garaks-huge-naturals]

the frustrating aromantic representation of chuck tingle's "bury your gays"

i feel like i should preface this by saying that i'm a huge chuck tingle fan and, representation aside, i greatly enjoyed his book. so this is not like, a hate take down. this will contain spoilers for bury your gays, you are warned.

the parts i have issues with will be more towards the end and are marked.

a quick synopsis: misha is a queer horror writer who is told to either kill off his gay characters after getting them together, or let them live and be straight (for the algorithm, ratings, etc). while he is reeling from this he begins being stalked by the monsters/villains of his past works. plot happens and these monsters are really nanobot contractions from his studio's fx company. misha survives these attempts on his life (and his boyfriend's and best friend's), eventually giving a heartfelt award speech about the need for a shift towards queer joy. when he comes back to work the entire studio is like decked out in pride flags and the now stereotypically gay management tells him that queer is IN! even better, it's profitable (according to the algorithm). but these nanobots are still out there. so they go to the fx studio to insert a virus that takes them down, the best friend, tara, being an unprecedented aroace that the algorithm has no information on due to a lack of content, is able to circumvent the nanobots and take them down!! happy ending!! yippee!!

i'll be going in order of the book, touching on the times where tara's identity is relevant

tara's aspecness is established almost immediately when she says "you know i don't swing that way...i don't swing any way, baby." classic aspec joke, i have no issue with this.

its first explicit mention is on page 42, "tara is aromantic and asexual, which has always made me appreciate her take on relationship advice." ok this part is so real. we are so good at that.

ok now we get into the main stuff. Tara says, "do you realize how hard it is to tell your parents you're asexual?" this part is true, and in comparison to misha coming out as gay. and i really appreciate it highlights the strange societal position aspecs are in!! it's hard to affirm an identity defined by a lack. and even harder for baby wanting parents to accept an identity that is largely incompatible with the nuclear family model. as this is in reference to like sex -> having a child, mentioning just the asexuality makes sense. but it is still weird to not mention how hard explaining aromanticism would be considering aces can more easily have straight passing relationships. let's begin a tally: ace mentions: 2, aro mentions: 1.

(!) time skip we are now towards the end. misha is giving his heartfelt speech, "i call on all of you to usher in a new era of stories where the gay, or bi, or lesbian, or asexual, or pansexual, or trans character lives happily ever after. buy those stories. make those stories profitable." we are now entering the territory here i begin to get a little angry. fandoms and drama in shows are so closely tied with romance. they are profitable. they are like, the lifeblood of ao3, etc. people also have this notion that you need a partner to be happy, and that this is a universal goal. so characters and story arcs that stray away from this tend to be, y'know, less profitable. and since this is extremely relevant to aromanticism as an identity and important to debunk, the lack of a mention of aromanticism is frankly stunning. our stories are not wanted, we have no characters to live happily ever after. because we are not profitable. we don't get that joy. so where are we? this is a nitpick but i find it strange that misha would forget to mention like, entirely half of his friend's identity. ace mentions: 3, aro mentions: 1

(!!!) this is the most egregious part to me. when i read this part i was genuinely so stunned that i started crying. ok so i've established that aros have very little representation. it is a fact that there is less aro representation than ace representation. especially in regards to non-ace aros. "there's a hero clad in pink, purple, and blue, the bi one...this continues on and on until every aspect of the community has been covered...tara steps up next to me, her eyes locked on the poster. "there' no asexual hero...they've got everyone up there besides an ace character...every fucking time." ok. so. a lack of representation for aspecs is like a Thing That We All Know. as also established, aros are not algorithm friendly, so i just see no plausible way that there is aro representation but not ace representation. and there's just this like, poetic irony to this. that aros are so forgotten, so uncared for, that the author of the fucking book forgot to even mention them. because there are three ways this shakes out here. either there is an aro in the line up and dr. tingle deprived us of the validation we need to justify our anger for a lack of representation (which effects us all but aros more). or he just straight up forgot to include us. or he's grossly conflating the two identities. there's no good option. anyway. ace mentions: 5, aro mentions: 1

here we have yet another mention of tara being ace, yet not aro, "my name's tara. i'm the asexual in the corner everyone's been ignoring." would be funny if aromanticism hadn't been grossly ignored once again. ace mentions: 6, aro mentions: 1

(!!!) time for tara to save the day (girlboss). "just pull up all the information you have on asexual and aromantic heroes...oh wait, that's gonna be pretty fucking difficult because there are almost no human asexual heroes represented in popular media, are there." like actually like the fuck. what the fuck. there are so little aro heroes that the author forgot about the one he had!! there are so little aro heroes that the author fucking forgot to mention how few there are. incredible. ace mentions: 10, aro mentions: 2 (ace mentions not quoted here but part of the rant)

so. thats the end of the book. it seems to me that dr. tingle might be a little confused. he's been a great supporter in the past of the aspec community. but there is a pattern of aro erasure in this book that frankly, pisses me off! but wait, there is more!

dr. tingle. babygirl. bestie. what the fuck is this? op explicitly said aroace character. and what do you do? you reblog with only an ace flag. do you not remember your character's own identity? or do you not acknowledge aros outside or aces? let's look at some more quotes from this post.

wow thanks for the solidarity dr. tingle (like, actually)!

what is this? whoopty fucking doo! aros totally dropped after their initial mention? again! but there is simply no precedent for this!!

i'd like to end this with a quote by dr. tingle.

glad you remembered the aces. maybe next time, remember the marginalized people you leave behind.

[williamaltman]

Ok so I've finally finished "Aristotle & Dante Dive into the Waters of the World" (a few days ago now).

I'm gonna start with: I got so fucking scared towards the end when they "broke up" and Dante didn't talk to him for weeks and left. God I think not many stories have ever made me feel like that. I think I actually have a bit of a trauma with one in particular that went like that and, actually followed up on not giving me a happy ending.

I was tired but I wasn't sure how I was gonna sleep with that in my mind, until Ari said he was going to Paris and so I knew I could have some hope.

Tbh I had a few more issues with this one than the first. I talked about it before but I didn't really like how it sort of pushed the idea that you HAD to come out to your friends even if you don't feel ready. I also felt like sometimes there wasn't enough Dante? I like Ari's friends and all, but these books are called Aristotle AND DANTE.

I also feel like, in a way, all the characters are a bit too articulate? Maybe too mature even? In the first book I didn't mind it as much cause it was just Ari and Dante themselves, plus their moms I guess, but here Gina and Susie are more relevant and there's Cassandra and Ari's father talks a lot more and there's more stuff like his mom arguing with other people, and it was just like... Well I guess it would be nice if most people were like that in real life, but they're really not...

That aside though, it was obviously still amazing. One thing I liked was Ari actually being gay and that term being used throughout? I usually don't mind when certain characters are mlm without their specific sexuality being stated, and ofc bi/gay couples are nice too, but I feel like sometimes in fiction it ends up being a bit more rare to have couples with two gay guys even though that's what's more common in real life.

I also love how fucking horny he was at the beginning lol. Like this actually felt realistic, and even though there's no smut or anything, it's not something that's just ignored or pushed aside.

I felt like Dante felt a bit more realistic in this book. He's moody so many times and I think his flaws are more visible and so it feel less like he's just there to be Ari's perfect manic pixie dream girl (though I'll say he's still one, affectionately).

Something I thought when I finished the first book was how cool it would probably be to see their parents reacting to their relationship. And that was indeed really cute. I think Dante's mom is my favorite of them all. And on the topic of the parents, Ari's dad's death? That was a complete shock to me. I wasn't expecting it at all. It came out of nowhere but it was honestly really interesting to have Ari and his mom deal with that grief, and that whole section is probably, in a weird way, one of my favorite parts of the book.

Another interesting thing was how much the AIDS crisis in the backdrop affected the book. I remembered when they flashed to that in the movie and I was confused at how random it seemed, but now I can kinda get why. I thought it was the best they could do by making it matter to the characters even though they probably wouldn't and shouldn't be actually affected. It's kinda funny to me how I decided to read this sometime close to when I watched Fellow Travelers that also featured that into the story, cause it's honestly not something I've thought about as much before.

Something that was really important was the closure between Ari and his brother. I'm not gonna say it bothered me exactly, because it was understandable, but it was just always kind of an ick for me that Ari cared so much about him knowing he was there because he killed someone in a hate crime. So the way their reunion went down was actually perfect for me and gave me a much needed relief just like it did for Ari. I feel like the writer probably felt the need to address it too because of the stuff people were saying about the first book due to this plot point, but even if that was why I still felt like the way things were handled felt natural. Their parents had already given up on him, he was never gonna accept Ari and I didn't want for Ari to stay caring about him by just not telling him or something.

I know the ending is a bit vague and doesn't like reeally explain every little thing, but the message felt clear enough to me, in that it was meant to tell us that things will be alright and that they're not just gonna let their love slip through their fingers or run away from it. Ari coming in with the wedding and honeymoon talk? Got me.

It still feels kinda weird that it's really over because it had honestly become so much of a habit to read these almost every day in bed. These books were probably the easiest thing for me to read and just flowed so naturally. I know people have already said that, but they really do feel like a way to celebrate life despite all the hardships in it and you can feel that love through the pages.

[cienie-isengardu]

Some MK1 thoughts

Since Mortal Kombat 1 cutscenes are now available on YouTube (and me watching it up to 4 a.m.), here some thoughts under cut:

This is the most pro-Mileena game and I’m glad for the girl to finally have supportive family and friends. Generally I’m very touched how much the Edenian female cast was bonded with each other, that Li Mei and Sindel turned out to be the best friends, Tanya and Mileena were in happy relationship (as much as it could be due to Umgadi laws), Mileena and Kitana for once did not need to fight for throne. Good stuff.

However, the game that advertises itself with “Fight through a brand new story featuring your favorite Mortal Kombat characters like you’ve never seen them before” can’t apparently give us a storyline in which Bi-Han & Kuai Liang are from start to (bitter) end brothers in every sense of the word. I guess, it is my own fault for hoping too much but the frustrating disappointment stings double so, because Mileena and Kitana got their happy family. And look, I don’t mind Bi-Han being so done with everyone and everything and wanting to combat / challenge authority of others while not caring much for Liu Kang’s godly status and all, but is that really so much to ask for having at least one game he is on brother’s side to the bitter end? I’m not even asking for a story to keep Bi-Han relevant to the final chapter, just him being (sort of) a good brother. 

I know I was foolish, but the plot twist of Lin Kuei only playing the thugs to test Kung Lao and Raiden from first chapter raised my hopes - supported a bit by the fact that Bi-Han was jerk to Smoke only to few scenes later asking both Kuai Liang and Tomas are they unharmed after he defeated Nitara. Because the Sub-Zero chapter (Band of Brothers!) was the best for another plot twist. We could have Bi-Han playing the role of a traitor so he and Kuai Liang could learn more about enemy’s true goal / weapon and if game creators didn’t want keep Bi-Han in the story (or couldn’t give him anything relevant to do in later chapters) they could kill him and I’m glad they didn’t or capture him or whatever. Like I said, I don’t need heroic Bi-Han per se, just him and Kuai Liang having the brotherhood we hear about since the original series. It is about damn time!

On another note, Sektor being loyal to Bi-Han and being shown in the Sub-Zero ending was such a nice addition. Though I’m still mad, that brothers are divided into Kuai Liang & Tomas vs Bi-Han & Sektor/Lin Kuei. The Lin Kuei storyline did not impress me at all.

At least, in the final fight between good and evil timelines, there is plenty version of Bi-Han and the fact that game allows the player to choose the character on their own (including Sub-Zero) warmed my heart so much ❤

I’m surprised in a good way by Johnny Cage, he was witty and great, but I’m truly touched how helpful and nice he was to some characters (and is it me, or did this Johnny felt so much like Johnny from MK movie 1995?). Him and Kenshi was pretty funny interaction but also him inviting Syzoth and Ashrah to come with them to Earthrealm AND THEN STAYING WITH THEM WHEN THE REST OF TEAM ALREADY WENT TO REST TO PROPERLY INTRODUCE THOSE TWO TO LIU KANG that is, this is the best of Johnny and I love they keep showing him like that ❤

And of course, Shang Tsung ❤ Though I do not understand why Shao Kahn was allowed to be Outworld general while Shang Tsung was given such a pitiful life? Sure, he is dangerous and all, but I would argue who was the worst person in previous lifes. Anyway, every time Shang Tsung works for the good guys, it is frankly my favorite thing. 

In general, the game looks gorgeous, the characters are cool, though I would love for some to have more screen time and some, like Bi-Han, to actually have a proper, meaningless relationship and part in the story. But I guess, Bi-Han is just fated to doom since the first game…. nothing new.

[huasahyo]

I have read Qiang Jin Jiu and honestly think I'll never recover

(Spoilers ahead!)

Oh god, where to start this? Maybe I should start with the very begging: I didn't understood shit. I just saw a kid being tortured and lots of information. When I felt it was too much, I went after the translated map and OMG that was so helpful! Bless the translators for that. After looking carefully at the map, things started to make sense.

As the story went, before the end of book one I was not very familiar with all the characters. I kept mistaking Hai Liangyi for Hua Siqian lol. But during my reading I started to take some notes and was never confused again. The thing is, this book has A LOT of characters and some of them are introduced early but only become major players later (Yao Wenyu, Hua Xiangyi...)

Even though this huge ensemble would make characters easy to forget, this doesn't happen. The author managed to create likeable and rememberable characters pretty easily??? I fell in love with many of them at first read, even if they didn't show up a lot. And there were characters that got me completely off guard, I wasn't expecting them to be so cool and relevant, BUT THEY WERE (Fei Sheng, Kong Liu)! And the antagonists were also brilliant, I love a good story where everyone has a point and no one is actually evil: People from Biansha had their truths and in a war there are no right sides, Xue Xiuzhuo wanted the best for Dazhou (even though I can't forgive what the did to my baby Yuanzhuo), and Li Jianting??? WHAT A LEGEND! Also, Feng Quan plot twist left me speechless, what an interesting character. Every character was very human (in the good and bad way), everyone had their own goals and beliefs. I actually might do a second post screaming about every character because I have a lot to say about them. (hello hasen my love)

The Plot??? Perfectly done. AND WELL EXPLAINED! I was always a little afraid of reading novels with a lot of politics, but I really dug this one. The problems with grains, provisions, registry, army and BRO THERE WAS EVEN SOME AGRARIAN REFORM SHIT

The way this author write the MOST well written battles I have read, without using any magic... it's just... I never thought I would be so enthusiastic about cannons, rocks and GRAINS.

The conflicts in Zhongbo could be all repetitive, but they weren't at all. Each prefecture that Lanzhou took back had a interesting story.

The war with Biansha was also brilliantly written. The way Amu'er was attacking Dazhou from the inside out and the scorpions with those hammers??? My man was a genius. Sadly, he could never have predicted Bai Cha and her son.

Talking about that, the family relationships are a great point in this. Seeing flashbacks about Lanzhou, Ji Mu, Ji Gang and Hua Pinging made me CRY! They were so happy... And seeing Xiao Chiye with his brother and HIS DAD LIKE... Xiao Fangxu and Ji Gang best daddies. Fei Sheng and Yin Chang too, what a beautiful chapter the one that they talk after Fei Sheng has a fight with Qiao Tianya.

Talking about Qiao Tianya, it was refreshing to see a novel with more LGBT characters. The secondary pairings were great, they didn't steal the spotlight from cezhou, but were very enjoyable (even though THAT happened between Songyu). I just wished we could have seen more Qihua moments and OH GOD KONG LIU AND LUO MU??? That got me truly off guard, wasn't expecting at all. Also, I found really interesting how Lanzhou basically got a LGBT parade following him at the end, that was truly the gayest empire ever. I have so many headcanons here, let me scream them: Xue Xiuzhuo is AroAce, Li Jianting is a non-binary legend and Huo Lingyun a Bi King. Also, Fei Sheng is not straight. Said it.

The little animals in this??? I WAS TERRIFIED WHEN LANG TAO XUE JIN FELL IN THAT HOLE YALL I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA DIE. But luckily he didn't. Meng, Hunu, Feng Shuang Ta Yi were all the cutest, I need more novels with cats.

THE CHILDREN - Ding Tao, Li Xiong, Xiao Xun and Jiran. They served chaos, humor and cuteness. I really liked whenever they showed up.

THE LADIESSS - If you have read my other posts you know I love some powerful women. This story did not disappoint me in that sense. Hua Hewei had some despicable acts, but she really got everyone on her hands despite never leaving the inner palace, good for her. Hua Xiangyi is a way better version of her aunt, my girl was smart and cared for the people, an amazing woman. QI ZHUYINNN owns my life, I really adored the fact that she was a badass and that she never hated the fact she was born a girl, slay. Bai Cha was really out there helping women that were sold and their children, that is some real sorority there. Lu Yizhi was so kind, loved seeing her interactions with Lanzhou. Li Jianting was everything, her story was one of the saddest and yet she was doing her best to become a ruler. Duo Er'lan was amazingly brave, even more than Hasen, mad respect for her.

And last, but definitely not least, there is cezhou. I have no words to explain how much I adored these two. The way both of them got their own development and had their own private goals and went after them, so good. They are so well written that I wanna scream. The chapters that are focused on Lanzhou's feelings are not big in number, even when he is the main character, his feelings are shown in discreet ways (the handkerchief!) and most of the time we don't know what he is plotting or thinking. But when we take a peek at what's going inside of his heart, it's... astonishing. And I love seeing how he actually cared for the side characters, even though he doesn't show a lot.

And Ce'an kind of caught me off guard, I thought he was going to be a totally different character but he went and delivered

Xiao Chiye was a perfect fit for Lanzhou and Lanzhou was a perfect fit for Xiao Chiye: they were both in similar situations where only them could understand each other's suffering, and after they leave Qudu we see how much of a match made in heaven they are (not just romantically, but strategically).

THE SEXUAL TENSION AT THE BEGINNING YALL... They were scheming/fighting and flirting at the same time. Iconic.

Read this, you won't regret it!

By the way, I started reading the story in December and finished by March, but I completely forgot to post this! College has been frying my brain these days.

Hopefully I will resume my Sha Po Lang reading and come back here to tell my opinions on the book. (Not sure when though.)

See ya!

[eddiegettingshot]

the speedrunning of certain arcs this season is certainly an issue (and I'm willing to give benefit of the doubt on this one based on strikes, shortened seasons and the cruise plot taking up like 40% of their resources probably). but I dont necessarily mind them "speedrunning" the bi buck story like the set up was poor for sure but I dont mind the approach of "btw he likes boys too" especially in the context of an ensemble show with so few episodes and also I certainly prefer it to a story that would have made buck a more central focus of this season. I think the issue here is more they speedran bucktommy to the point where Im just like ?? how am I supposed to feel about separate from bi buck. the set up for the first kiss was poor and since then theyve been dating for a month maybe but also he was buck's date to his sisters wedding but also the narrative suggests tommy and buck probably wont last so ??? and really I just want buck to have a bit of romantic development past "im not dating people from calls" (which they didnt even flesh out why dating people from calls is problematic and i think it would be really fun for them to explore how meeting someone on a call can lead to them developing a hero complex about you and sets unfair expectations on a relationship) and "im bi" but to this point they've failed to develop bucktommy to a point where I feel like buck will learn anything from it besides that. I'm willing to wait until the end of the season to see where that ends up but as far as I'm concerned now the only reason tommy is more interesting than marisol is because of how theyre constantly framing the bucktommy narrative around eddie and lou is actually a semi likeable person 😂 also even if this season clearly isnt thoroughly planned out, if it is to get the characters to a starting point for s8 I'm willing to be optimistic then because I think tim has shown with proper planning he can execute really thorough character arcs with satisfying conclusions (maddie and eddie in s2, buck in s4, a lot of the s1 arcs)

(okay now that Ive all typed that Im actually thinking how a really interesting angle for them to take on bucktommy would be to focus on the idealized version of tommy that buck had a crush on (hes so cool / flew them into a hurricane to save their family) and how that + first guy hes dated probably set unfair expectations on their relationship that arent met in reality (and then coming to the conclusion they should break up). basically Im asking 911 to please have buck reflect on his romanticization of his own relationships/love interests. also sorry to buck tommy spec in your inbox Im just waiting for this relationship to be a tiny bit relevant lmaoo)

ok so actually yeah you're so right about how speedrunning bi buck is fine - i think for me it's that in my head the bi buck thing and the bucktommy thing are like, completely entwined in my head so i'm kind of having a hard time separating the speedrun of buck realizing he likes men from buck falling into a relationship with a man. so yes i don't think the realization necessarily needed more but (as always lol) it comes back down to me expecting more out of buck and tommy specifically especially considering the emphasis on how tommy's going to help him like... disentangle his New Identity. which is clearly not happening lmao.

but yes i actually 100% agree with your bucktommy spec actually and as much as i resent buck's cycle of self-improving through various relationships i do think that would be VERY interesting for buck to start thinking about. well. all the things he needs to think about

[forabeatofadrum]

Hello! I may have missed Wet Rat Wednesday, but I have returned for another Out of Touch Thrusday. Thank you @blackberrysummerblog for the tag!

I published the 3rd chapter of Just Some Guy and my Class fic All of me loves all you this week, so YEET, writing. Have something more of Just Some Guy. Matt's friend Sam has feelings and others have opinions on those feelings:

One person who’s also glad to see Baz is Sam of all people. “What?” Sam says, “I have eyes. Baz Pitch might be an elitist arsehole, but man, he’s fine.” “Really, Sam?” Ryan asks, surprised. I scoff. I’m not gay or anything (or so I think), but I don’t think Baz Pitch is that attractive. “You could so much better,” Arnold also says, “Baz Pitch has this weird dead looking grey skin.” “And eyes that stare into your soul,” Scott adds. “And the slicked back hair makes him look like a posh git,” Luis also says, although Baz Pitch is already a push git. “Jeez, alright, guys, I get it. Baz Pitch isn’t hot,” Sam laments. “Whatever. I hear he’s into Agatha Wellbelove, like every straight guy,” Leslie says.

Here's the thing, dear readers. We know Baz is hot, but what if he isn't? I am very much on team "Baz isn't that hot, Simon is just in love and thinks everyone swoons over him, but no, it's just him" and Sam! Now, of course, Simon and Matt won't really interact, so Matt isn't aware of Simon's extreme interest in Baz, but imagine if they did and Matt would be so confused, because "Really, Simon Snow, really?"

(Johnson: For the record, I also think Baz is hot, but it isn't relevant to the plot so my friends will never know!)

And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @coffeegleek @caramelcoffeeaddict @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @cerriddwenluna @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @that-disabled-princess @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @cutestkilla ​ @wellbelesbian ​ @artsyunderstudy ​ @martsonmars ​ @facewithoutheart ​ @shrekgogurt @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites @whatevertheweather @theotherhufflepuff @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @esilher @kurtsascot @nightimedreamersghost

[taylors-fourth-cat-meow]

Its nice to see someone else immune to Mors BS, now if you dont like Amren after ACOSF there *chefs kiss*. Anyway, the reason I never cared for her is because she felt fake to me, like a girl in highschool that smiles in your face or makes comments like "ugh im so (insert flaw here) " just to get the people around her to say "no your the BEST! We all wish we were you!" for her to just smile. IDK I just was never really on the hype train with her even from MAF (bc of what she did with Cass & Az)

Hi anon!

Yeh mor does seem super fake and idk 2D??? It's like she only shows up when the plot needs it otherwise she isn't relevant to the plot. Actually she isn't needed at all?

It's just that idk maybe Sjm water Feyre to have a girl bestie? Which seems unnecessary cause Cassian cud have been her bestf too? Idk why she thought that this femmine support was necessary (tbh her character wud have been much more interesting if she was the catty sister in law cause DRAMA)

And yes she's the girl who came between two brothers GOD I hate that trope that's so fcking disgusting??? AND THIS HAS BEEN GOING OM FOT 500 YEARS?????????

DISGUSTING.

Plus the thing where she's bi but not bi? Like idk if Sjm even understands the meaning of it when she made Mor a lgbtq character. What even is her orientation? She like men and women sexually but romantically she's only interested in women (i don't remember the books well so forgive me for any mistakes)and idk doesn't like men as much and/or only likes them cause that's how it's supposed to be and sleeps with them to remind azriel she's not interested

And the way she has been stringing along Azriel for centuries??? Why? What's even th point?, If he's ur so called family why not set him free? Why hurt the one u claim to love?

Then there's her powers? she's claimed to be this legend who fought the war and idk evryone's scared by her name? BUT WHATS HER POWER? is she a lie detector like what? 'TrUtH iS mY pOweR' Idk how far that can get u as a warrior.

Also I am immensely irritated by the fact that she's blonde. I'm srry but if the illyarians are are brown? (Like so many claim the bat boys are ) how tf can she be blonde and white? ISNT SHE RHYSANDS COUSIN? I'm srry I fail to understand how people living in the same geographic region in the same country have different ethnicities and DIFFERENT RACES??? Like wtf? Illyarians and brown but everyone else in the nc is white I'm srry I just- it annoys me to no end. Okay yeh Nc is diverse I get it, so is my country, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN SEPARATE RACES? (I'm srry this deviated a bit.)

Basically, to sum it all up, I don't like Mor.

[mintdrawz]

The Impossible Stream - Futurama S8/S11 Ep1

NEW FUTURAMA TIME!!! 

Futurama is one of my special interests so I've been hyped for a while -- here are my thoughts on the new episode of the Hulu revival ^_^

I'm probably gonna do this weekly for the rest of season 8/season 11

(under cut)

okay so firstly i know a lot of ppl were wondering how theyd deal with meanwhile but they kinda just. Turned it into a non issue. Like? He just dragged bck to the moment the time button broke which i figured was the case. i feel like they rushed into the plot a bit too quickly? Like just having Fry immediately decide to start binging and not having more pushback from leela as it was a pretty dumb idea that she shouldve objected to more but i understand shes tryna be supportive which btw LEELA X FRY IS REAL!!!! no more "will they wont they" its just. They're partners now love that-- hope it gets more focus in the season 

this episode was also quite meta-- it dug a lot at streaming services and how they treat writers and the whole strike in general which makes sense because head writer for this ep was originally the leader of the WGA. im really glad they critiqued streaming services tho, they deserve it <3 i feel like they weren't too obvious abt it as well like it was visually presented not them saying "streaming service bad" which is good there was also A LOT of cameos in this episode. Like. THEY BROUGHT BACK SLURM MACKENZIE WHO SUPPOSEDLY DIED IN SEASON 1. OUTTA NOWHERE. HUH??? /pos ALSO THIS EPISODE HAD CALCULON IN IT which made me really happy tbh ^_^ he got shot out of the soul cannon it made me giggle HES ALSO CANONICALLY BISEXUAL NOW-- BI CALCULON SWEEP

It's honestly amazing how the show has stayed mostly consistent in terms of vibes and writing and humor even 10 years after Meanwhile, just that the jokes are more relevant. Also ppl are saying that the actors sound a bit off? Which I couldn't hear but I'd understand if that was the case, it has been ten years after all.

it has some pacing issues but I'd still say its a solid 6-7/10 tbh. Middle B tier It has made me VERY hopeful that the rest of the season follows suit in terms of quality

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Exploring Con O'Neill's Filmography Day #?- Murder City S01.EP4- Mr. Right (2004)

Murder City S01.EP4- Mr. Right

Warnings: Depiction of a murder, gunshots/gun violence, stalking, obsession over an adult woman(the fucking victim) from both a police officer and multiple victims, minor of the time period transphobic comments. This is Copoganda. It's not even hiding it.

This is one of Con's one-off performances for a TV show. It's a cop procedural and it runs at just about an hour. Watch his scenes, you don't really need to care about the plot. He's a side character that barely matters once the mystery is all tied together. If you're craving a cop show, just watch the Pie in the Sky episode he's in. You will have a better time.

Due to the weird pacing of this episode and scene changes, unless you've seen it you probably won't get what's going on. I've edited to add context the best I can, but you can skip to the end to see my overall thoughts.

As always, I love chatting in the comments. If you've already seen this, don't be afraid to rant!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

What the fuck is this intro? Why does it feel like a HGTV show.

Okay, lets play the game of, is Con the victim or the murderer?

HE'S THE CORPSE?

OH SHIT THAT'S NOT CON.

I'm calling it now, three-way. Guy was let in, and shot him.

I'm guessing right now Con killed them, jealous of the guy for getting the girl. Or Con's character was jealous of the woman.

Definitely Man hands holding that gun, is it Con? If so, #6 of Con's character improperly using guns. (Spoilers, supprisingly, I don't think Con's character touches a gun)

CON APPEARS

'Spencer Grieves. A catholic, a family man. A vicious bastard.' HELL YEAH! HANG ON. He's a vicious flower wholesale person, and if you don't buy from him, he fucking attacks you?!??!!? Flower better be code for drugs, or I fucking swear.

God, I love criminal/competent Con characters, he's having so much fun.

They wouldn't need literally every person in her family to come in and identify the body, this just seems cruel.

This whole purity angle for the victim is just gross. She's a fully grown adult, why the fuck are they so shocked she's fucking people.

This is why you don't let yourself be defined by a certain animal. She's stuck with ducks, and I'll forever be stuck with owls. I wonder if owls will be relevant to my murder.

(Going to the all mens prision to interogate a suspect, our female detective goes in basically alone, with the prisoners walking around their residential area) They would have put everyone in lockdown for her to come on. What the fuck?

CON. That hat is fun. From now on, he's Spencer.

WHY THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT LOVE SO MUCH IN HIS FIRST SCENE? I know for the 20 years post Blood Brothers he was cast in these types of roles. Sad and wrecked people wanting acceptance. Look at any of his work from the 90s/00s. BUT GOD. Someone needs to rip all of these 'I'm a sad, lonely, blank looking for love, etc. ' speeches into a Izzy edit.

HE ALSO HAS SHIPS ON HIS MEMORY BOARD, HELL YEAH

HE'S GAY(OR BI!!!!! Depending on if he loves his wife, yet to be seen. But given she hasn't visited him...eh)!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE'S FUCKING IN LOVE WITH SCOVI (the male victim)! I love the 'wow I didn't think this guy was gay' subversion always being Con's thing. He inadvertently makes the subversion a typecast for himself. Funny as shit.

Oh wow. A Queer Con character who devoted his life to someone, only for his lover to suddenly make a total life change, and leave him behind for a blonde. Shocker.

Okay. SPENCER IS SO MUCH FUN. He's bringing Cliff(BBC Uncle)/Angel(3 Steps to Heaven) energy here, and I'm kind of loving it.

"And my wife? She wouldn't approve." OHHH. God, he's funny as shit. Awful and morally dubious, but fun as shit.

Why would you have code names to hide the identities of the men you'd want to fuck in a personal diary.

Also, I don't like that the blonde detective seems like he'd want to fuck the dead woman.

Spencer's wife seems fun. The cop calling Spencer 'A small Alpha of a man who protects his family' is rude. I am one inch taller than he is.

Okay, obviously ACAB. Don't trust cops. But if Spencer's work is endangering her children then, yeah, probably best to gtfo.

They're all kinda sexist as shit to the blonde detective lady.

God I hate this blonde guy detective. He's such a confident idiot. In an American show, he would have been shot and learned not to be an idiot like this. Going in somewhere alone with a suspect of a murder case? Dumbass.

Also, if he got any evidence from that conversation how would he even use it in court?

EY Back at the prison. Nice. Smiling Con is the best Con.

Why would Spencer not hide contraband well?

HAHAHA I am routing for Spencer, this plan the cops had was stupid as fuck.

If I was as paranoid as this character likely is, I'd just throw out my phone.

Idiots. He clearly knows you snooped.

The editing in this is a choice.

This love triangle/circle/fucking hexagon feels like high school gossip.

Transphobic joke is not needed, and neither is the sexist comment jackasses.

I am pretty sure this isn't how phones work?

Good for him, knowing not to say shit regardless if he thinks something could be tracked. Also, Bi-con.

NVM, let's just admit guilt and a few other crimes over the phone.

Why are these innocent people just talking to cops? Giving them free information as they stalk you out of your workplace. I hate this blonde jackass.

WHAT THE FUCK. What is this editing? WHY DOES BLONDE DOUCHE WANT TO FUCK THE DEAD CHICK.

Yeah, it's a fucking diary jackass. It's going to be biased as fuck, why are you taking at as gospel. Does he have a Sherlock Holmes thing going on here? Seeing how things 'really' happened.

DON'T THEY NEED A FUCKING WARRANT TO SEE CCTV! "Enhance it" It's a fucking bald guy. You have one bald suspect. Also, enhancing things doesn't work like that.

Well, now you've probably endangered Spencer's entire family.

We are 40 minutes into this, can you fucks not argue about who gets credit for the case.

God I hate cop shows. Stop being smug bastards, someone's been killed.

YEY! Back to the prison!

Also, as a person who has done tours in my local prison (US) for our government class, it's weird to see how this prison is semi-accurate.

WHY ARE YOU GIVING A PEP TALK TO GROSS BLONDE DETECTIVE ABOUT DATING SURROUNDED BY FELONS. Spencer was a violent offender, all the people surrounding him likely have similar sentences. But no, lets openly chat about how his standards are too high? He's a fucking unlikeable worm of a man.

Just let him be single. Jesus Christ.

DID SPENCER GET A GUN TO KILL THE GUY WHO SOLD HIM OUT! (Or used bought loyalty to get the guy killed)If so, badass. And he got away with it cause he had help. Perfect.

How about we just assume anyone who was involved will be killed.

God, Spencer shouldn't be hot...What am I kidding myself, of course he's hot.

Spencer is also cheating on her. If he's catholic enough to care, he already thinks he's going to hell. Both for cheating and fucking men.

Also, cops are paid to lie to you. We as the audience know the cop is just lying, but Spencer should have assumed. How he doesn't know this as an experienced felon is bullshit.

ALSO WHY WASN'T SPENCER TIED DOWN OR HANDCUFFED! I swear to god, does having a violent record mean nothing in England? WHAT DID YOU EXPECT! The cop was riling him up.

Oh, finally someone guilty has a lawyer

That blood looked like paint. Nice red apple. How the fuck is there 20 minutes left.

Yeah, maybe if you think Spencer is guilty wait until he's out. Set something up to watch him after he leaves prison, and wait. Jesus Christ.

Why the fuck does an older blonde woman care about the younger blonde detective's sex life? This is the third scene that's like this. Like, it's sweet that she cares about work-life balance, but being a cop is one of those jobs where that shit goes out the window.

Nope. I hate this. When Sherlock does it, it works cause Sherlock isn't trying to picture sad desperate women looking for love. He treats them with respect. This jackass is just lonely and pictures victims being his friend. Weird as shit.

(He tries to kiss his imaginary ghost victim) WHAT THE FUCK. Is this supposed to be charming?

CON! THANK GOD! Rescue me, please. Look at that summer drip. I think I own that shirt. At least he's being nice about handing the phone over for evidence.

ENHANCING IMAGES DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT

A shrine? Weird. Also, I know this person is obsessed, but seriously? Who decorates like that.

Eh, that pun was awful.

Yeah, having both men be obsessed with her just points out how gross the detective guy is.

So a gross man thinking he knew what was right for a woman, wow, shocker.

Yeah, bullets go through people. Idiot.

THE DIARY SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN EVIDENCE THE ENTIRE TIME JESUS CHRIST

So what was Spencer whole deal, just gay and knew a guy at the wrong place at the wrong time?

HOT CON ALERT. Shirt half unbuttoned, chest hair exposed, sunglasses on. This is the mental wash I need after remembering how god-awful and scary it can be to date.

Why is he talking to the cop? I thought he hated him.

SHE LEFT WITH THE KIDS OH SHIT. AWWWW. Jackass cop.

Is he going to get shot? Well, now he's left with a dead lover, no wife, and no kids. Likely no place to work. He'll probably go right back into crime.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS BLOND DETECTIVE. Oh, he can see her? It's a ghost thing? Ah well. If this was actually her consciousness, it doesn't make his obsession with her any less creepy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story: 4/10. Spencer's thing was the only part I enjoyed.

The entire cop crew pissed me off, I didn't like a single character. The victim was guilty of being young and pretty. A bunch of men felt like they were owed her attention, and she gets accidentally killed out of possessive jealousy. So what do the writers do? Make our main protagonist fall for her. Dumb and gross. Even in death, she's just eye candy. Not a person. Her parents knew her as innocent, which is the first thing that interests the detective. Just gross. The other detectives were either just assholes, or uninteresting.

Con: Loved it. Honestly, I love when Con gets to play competent people. He felt lived in, and like what Angel should have been in 3 Steps to Heaven. All of this comes from Con's performance as a cautious criminal, not through the writing. More about his character and the way he holds himself. Gender and confidence envy.

Spencer Grieves: The sarcastic maybe Bisexual Catholic with a history of violence. He wasn't even directly tied into the main murder, he just fucked the wrong guy. Love destroys you, indeed. Again, the mother probably made the best choice getting the kids out of there. But I felt like Spencer genuinely cared, and loved his family. So in all likely hood, after all this good behavior and growth, he's probably going right back to jail.

It kind of feels like the writers threw in his queerness as a 'look at how awful of a parent/spouse he is'. Or maybe in a 'wow, a gay 'immoral' criminal, no one is shocked' copoganda way.

Which isn't great, but of the time period. Spencer is a fun and compelling character that doesn't deserve to be in this copaganda bullshit. Speaking of copaganda.

Bias that almost made me skip scene by scene through this: It's fucking propaganda. We're supposed to be sympathizing with the wisecracking asshole cops. Be happy when they lie, or mislead, or abuse their power. But no. Everything they said made me hate them, and want the criminals to get away with fucking murder. In Pie in the Sky, yeah they were cops, but they were still people. Solving stupid no stakes crimes, the assholes in the show were other cops and we as the audience were supposed to hate them. This show felt like every bad part of CSI, but British. No fault to Con here.

Overall: If anyone has clipped Con's scenes, then that's the best way to watch it. Even without context, Con's performance is fun. The way thay handled the victims part just felt gross. She was never a person, just an item, to everyone in her life. A victim who was taken advantage of by their want to love and be loved. Kind of like Spencer when you think about it, passionate about his family, and how he freaked out about his wife cheating on him. His world fell apart because he loved the male victim and his wife. Now both are left with nothing...No, im not giving the writers that much credit here.

Just rewatch Pie in The Sky. This is weird for me, cause Con plays a confirmed queer character here but it feels more hateful.

B-tier for Con's performance/character. The show around him ties him down sadly, fucking D for the story. I don't know how I'd scale this on a /10 scale. Just know, not high. While his other stuff was fun to watch, as soon as Con was off-screen I was uncomfortable.

As always, love to @ivegotnonameidea for the suggestions ;)