#he's actually talking to the realms
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📂 📂 📂 for Shilo!
@fatestouch | Random Headcanons | Accepting!
📂 - On an average day, he'll sleep about 10-15 hours total, usually with one longer stretch of sleep, and then a few naps. This is usually when he visits his Dreamers in their dreamscapes, and finalizes any "orders" for their bodies to follow, so he doesn't have to actively control everyone all the time (which is actually somewhat rare for him to do).
It's also because he runs out of energy pretty quickly if he doesn't have a large amount of Dreamers. Partially because he's always giving portions of his out to realms, his Dreamers to ensure they're taken care of and safe, people he comes across that need help, etc. He's really just a big, sleepy buddy at all times.
📂- If someone touches his hair, it feels wet, but when they pull their hand away, it'll be completely dry. Kind of an odd sensation, I'm sure.
📂- He loves animals, and animals tend to love him too (it's partly because a lot of them can sense his connection to the realm they're in, and feel relaxed around him because of it). He'll fall asleep in the middle of some forest and wake up with the "dangerous" animals all curled around him, asleep. It doesn't help that he'll feed them if they decide to come around when he's awake, too.
#[Shilo -headcanons-]#(Extra one in the tags because I thought it was funny#but people tend to think that he just talks to himself a lot#he's actually talking to the realms#and a lot of the realms like to mess with him because he's literally like that weird little nephew that follows you around everywhere#and wants to help with everything#endearing but also easy to mess with#He can't set foot in Alfheim without the realm immediately doing the equivalent of '>:3'#Same thing with Carpathia#You'll just hear lots of frustrated eel clicky noises and Shilo going 'Why do you always have to bully me when I visit...! I'm behaving!')
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there is a difference between being born to a throne, maliciously vying for a throne, stealing a throne, and having a throne thrust upon you when you are already in the midst of an identity crisis. And I fear Loki's place in the line of succession has people unable to differentiate between any of these
#you can't really argue he planned the extent of Thor's downfall#that was all Odin#Loki didn't force Thor to invade Jotunheim he isn't even the one who gave Thor the idea -- Thor did that all on his own!#that he was doing waswasa @ thor didn't help but wasn't really crime worthy on its own#Thor himself took time convincing the other warriors to be okay with the trip despite the treason and danger involved#like. what. Thor can't differentiate good advice from bad and is emotionally volatile and reckless and that's Loki's fault?#THOR was the one who got them past Heimdall too#the entire ordeal inadvertently showed off the favouritism Thor was receiving in comparison to Loki#even though Loki was the one supposedly so easily influencing Thor to such an extent#call Thor a puppet the way he--wait. no. that sounds weird. uhhhhh#you get the point#people will claim Loki was all up in there rearranging Thor's mental processes to cause his downfall#when really it was Loki doing the bare minimum instigation and watching things only devolve from there#because Thor WAS reckless and immature ?? and he WAS quick to anger and enjoyed exerting his power with violence ??#Loki didn't STEAL THE THRONE FROM THOR he literally just is implied to undermine the coronation#that's not even confirmed but we assume it's true that he let the frost giants in near the casket etc.#Loki has his own actual crimes that he did against Thor and hugging his bro's arm and saying 'you're soooooo strong and correct' was not on#even if you manage to argue Loki was cheering Thor on for the invasion (he wasn't) it was clearly to dob Thor in with Odin#which he did when he had some guard inform Odin#that Odin's chosen punishment was for Thor's disobedience aside stop blaming Loki for the damage ODIN inflicted on him#focus on Loki making up lies to Thor about how Odin died instead like at least Loki DID SOMETHING for that#you can even ascribe as evil a motive as you want there bc Loki was slipping fr#twirling his hair and telling Thor he's smarter about the realm's safety than the king was on the normal scale#you want to talk morals go look at how eager Thor was to invade mass destroy and massacre in the other realm#and expected Odin to 'finish them off! together!' bc he was power high on whatever bloodlust pheromones battle apparently imitates for him#sigh. this is why you can't have nice things Thor. no Loki you're barely any better. sit down. have a cookie.
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I love how everyone’s reaction to this guy is like “omg look it’s that mysterious drow ranger Drizzt Do’Urden….. he’s so cool……..” meanwhile he only has his hood down like that because he can’t see shit in the sunlight
#drizzt do'urden#legend of drizzt#dnd#forgotten realms#fanart#digital#my partner and I have been reading these books like every night for weeks and we’re almost done with the prequel trilogy#we read the first icewind dale and then went. hold on we gotta read the prequels first actually#ALSO I’m thinking about when I said to my partner ‘who tf is this drizzt guy everyone keeps talking about’ and they walked over#to MY bookshelf#and pulled the icewind dale trilogy book off my shelf#and said ‘this is literally the book about him have you not read this’#I had not. I was gifted it in high school and never got into it#what a FOOL I was smfh#anyway I love him a lot he’s my little guy
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The new CG has me in a mood (and the mood is punk goes pop) ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ🤘
#hello im back fromt he shadowban realm#back with a vengeance#I know the CG is supposed to be Ray dressed as Unknown.. but#I cant stop thinking about Unknown rocking out all his pent up emotions with music#and he just looks SO COOL#SO PUNK ROCK#I must admit my elder emo came thru a little with this one#I just adore him so much#This was my excuse to do a character study#I stared at so many stock images of dudes with guitars to do this and idk if i learned anything lol#Anyways i would be in the front row begging him for the sweaty shirt right off his back#thinkin bout how hed react if someone threw their bra on stage LOL#also lets not talk about how i got lazy & stopped drawing his jacket & pretend that actually he just got hot & had to take it off#the brainrot is still going strong#saeran choi#mysme saeran#mystic messenger#mysme#mystic messenger unknown#mysmeunknown#my art
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They're soulmates in every single universe and I miss them at the most random times.
#my characters#haha funny thing is that venus doesnt even exist in base plot she is ONLY for AUs#in base plot ego the ginger guy is a prince and serenity the navy haired guy is an energy alien#and serenity takes on the form of a human to be fake engaged to ego and its never meant to actually end up with them married#but serenity falls in love with the prince and feels immense guilt when they meet up#and then ego is like HAHA YEAH my life is the greatest cause i get to marry my best friend but technically youre best friend by default#since i have zero other friends because i cannot leave the castle which kinda sucks but whatever#and serenity can give his life force to others to keep them healthy and usually stops by to heal egos younger brother#so he looks tired a lot bc he is depleting his own life to help others#and and in au versions hes just chronically tired and very much in love with ego who is completely oblivious#and half the time they (bc theyre mine) are pining mutually thinking ahaha theres no WAY hed like me#or in egos case a lot of the time in the au its what if he only likes me cause i spoil him rotten bc im super wealthy and i love gifting#and serenity ! in base plot since he is an alien from like... space.... basically... another realm#he resides with another royal family in a different kingdom and the king there treats him like a son#which plays into the au versions where serenity is adopted and he just really loves his dad a lot#like really admires the man who adopted him and raised him as a single father who almost always has a connection to egos dad since#in base theyre just two kings being buddies and trying to get good relations between their kingdoms#but anyway ego is one of the few ocs i have that will actively say#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH : D very openly and i love that for him??#not a lot of my ocs will be that open about their feelings but ego is very good at communication and talking and stuff#compared to serenity who is an alien who doesnt even have to talk where he originated bc the aliens are just blue energy blobs#and they sense each other and communicate silently#so making him take a human form is like MMMM not sure how to interact like a normal human tbh#i owe art to one person then i am able to get back to indulgent stuff for me and reqs and stuff#this was just so i had something to post today since idk if the art i owe someone will be cool to post or not
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Maybe Bluster kept trying to eat Troy's shirt because he sensed something sinister was going on with him
#'oh he was trying to pick him up!!' well maybe he was covering his ass#or maybe he was picking him up to throw him#idk this is not an actual theory but it's also within the realm of being possible#maybe Troy isn't even being sinister. maybe he's just a silly little guy#idk man I'm talking about a horse eating a guy's shirt this isn't Serious Theory time#woe.begone#w.bg#w.bg spoilers#<- i mean kinda this is definitely inspired by the finale
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Also @ my it takes Sharena to break free from the "Gustav was a good man/Father" Askr family unreliable narrator hivemind. That the Main Reason she can't/doesn't is because it's the One Thing that's protecting her. That's stopping her from having a catastrophic world/life fucking breakdown about it. Heavily influenced by her brother and mother's feelings about it.
There's something else, I think Sharena is specifically protecting herself from too. She was Triandra's sister, too.
#feh#IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO TRIANDRA. FOR ME. FOR SOME REASON.#ALSO. ALSO. when it comes to 'comparing' what 'is/isn't' abuse. something logically ik you can't/shouldn't do#but like. tri/peony's father's ye olde fairytale villain levels of abuse vs gustav's abuse. which is.#so so. like. like i feel like i could meet someone and they could tell me yeah my dad was [insert every gustav trait here]#like. that's not to say the level of abuse tri/peony endured is impossible or realistic. like. it's just a rarer more horrifying case#that reads like an evil stepparent story ala cinderella.#like sliding scale/ends of a spectrum we have gustav (bad dad you can find anywhere dime a dozen)#to triandra's dad (cinderella stepmom levels of abuse but not entirely out of the realm of reality unfortunately just a rare case)#to sombron (literally actual cartoon levels of evil. which also isn't to dismiss anything but like.#he had a bunch of kids and then forced them to kill each other. and then did whatever he did to veyle. who was Lucky#she was too young to participate in the sibling battle royale to the death brawl.)#idk idk. it's like#back when i used to exist i had friends/peers who would talk about their family situations and#it was like. a frame of reference. that's horrible and outright abusive and i'm so sorry you have to go through that.#meanwhile. my own situation. i always describe it as 'stupid and complicated'.#idk idk. i just think sharena's feelings about gustav are more Loadbearing. than anything else.#and she's also like. she loves her brother so much. looks up to him and is inclined to trust/agree w whatever he says#like sharena obvs still has her own feelings/thoughts. but like. alfonse is also just so important to her.#and then there's henriette. who sharena does actively strive to be like. ect ect#idk idk. this is something other than breadcrumbs intsys gives me moldy bread cuts off the mold and tells me#it's safe to eat and that the mold was never there actually. but i remember. i remember the mold.#sharena#fe triandra
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wait why does the voiceless narrator/Mickey at the start of kh1 tell Sora he’s the one who will open the door, but then Riku is the one who opens the door and lets the darkness in that destroys Destiny Islands and stuff
#ig mickey could be talking about another door but what tf other door#kingdom hearts#this also implies the realm of the heart stations is closely related or connected to the realm of darkness#(which does make sense)#bc mickey’s able to communicate w sora here the way he’s able to communicate w riku when riku loses his body and ends up in the rod#but honestly this all just makes me feel like it’s supposed to be riku in sora’s place#like riku’s supposed to be having the awakening or something#or like the voice/mickey is not talking to sora#and since riku is the one who actually possesses the keyblade/the key to the door at this point in time…#hmm#idk it’s weird#was there a good way to open the door that wouldn’t result in everything being destroyed
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brb, i have to go and. make strangled noises at nothing real quick; it just hit me over the head how Wyll's use of the metaphor of dancing as a stand-in for romance and intimacy really just. accompanies him all throughout his story, and how perfect it is
I guess I should have expected a character like him, that's both deeply poetic in his speech and courtly in his upbringing, would come to idealize a chivalric romance a bit, and translate his feelings on/of love to an element of courting that's as ritualistic and processional as ballroom dancing, but sometimes just realizing the obvious can really knock you off your feet for a second
like. just like how there is almost a blueprint to a perfect storybook romance in both stories and -consequently- in his head (I think romance might even be one of the literary genres with the highest number of unwritten rules that need to be fulfilled for a work to count as a romance), there is also a fairly strict method to a court dance. There is a series of well-known and practiced steps that was laid out in advance, and one is to perform them in succession, and in sync with one's partner. If one of the parties doesn't know or doesn't want to follow the rules/steps, it gets... tangled, messy, and you both stumble. The dance and the relationship both fall apart. The happy ending of a tale is not reached without all the steps in-between being followed, and he so dearly wants his fairytale ending, his happy, fulfilled love, I just---
it's such a perfect metaphor, and what makes it even more perfect is that Wyll is ostensibly aware of it, and he chose it, purposefully, and i don't want to watch the Act 3 commitment scene because I've not yet done it myself and don't want to spoil it, but I would be so surprised if he a.) made no mention of storybook romances, or b.) didn't just straight up propose y'know
i'm (metaphorically) crying, if it were possible to play this game on six different characters simultaneously without getting bored or confused I fucking would
#squirrel plays bg3#yet another way my Trevelyan works very well in this situation for me#oc: raymond trevelyan#back in the day i made him... actually very similar to what Wyll is now#he was a young man of noble birth who grew up idealizing the storybook heroes of legends and romances#and while he wasn't really that stuck on the 'perfect romance' bits; being not interested in the ladies at all...#the Noble Hero On A White Steed image and the Charming Knight Saving the Realms images did appeal to him immensely#he was gregarious and brave and chivalrous and overall just... trying his absolute best to be good#he wanted to be the a gallant hero and to experience a sweeping passionate love- both wooing and being wooed#which he did get! and he did eventually find his happy ending!#only... the stories rarely mention that heroes don't often live this far past the end of their own tales#when the evil is slain and the damsel is saved; the story simply... ends#the characters; they live on frozen in the perfect moment of true love's first kiss#and nobody really talks about what happens after- not until you must experience it for yourself#so now he's... a burnt-out ex-knight#a has-been hero whose usefulness ceased and his happy ending was torn from him by pointless intrigue#and I just LOVE the thought of him finding a new happy ending; of starting over with someone who'll rekindle his passions#and dance the night away with him#YAY FOR TAG NOVELS
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As much as it seems intentional to copy another facet of Kaeya Alberich, the infamous chocoholic of Mondstadt, "Kaeya"s passion for chocolate is born out of coincidence and is an integral part of defining his character.
The story behind how he came to taste chocolate for the first time upon having his old self burned away lays with Siobhan, and it's a rather simple one: as it was sitting in front of the TV of its room, motionless and without an avatar to call his yet, she brought it a bowl of chocolate ice cream. It was the first dessert it tasted after the process of becoming a being, and it loved the taste. I'm talking about the black silhouette that it was perking up so visibly after being rewired by that sweet treat that it ripped a small laughter out of Siobhan and a "that good, buddy?". This became their new bonding method, to spend time together simply watching tv dramas and shows while sitting on the couch, fishing chocolate ice cream out of a tub with a spoon each. It's how they bonded again after the sweet boy of the reverie was erased from history. They just kept sharing chocolate ice cream of many varieties while the newly born being was trying to tell her what it had learned for the day- but cocoa was the base of it.
No thing that he likes is a simple affair, each of his preferences is strongly connected to a memory- which is kind of ironic, for a being that's supposed to alter history itself.
For "Kaeya", the taste of chocolate reminds him of Siobhan, of home, of familiar company and of much simpler times. He seeks out anything with chocolate in it to find the taste again and again, hoping that it sticks this time. Hoping that the warm feeling doesn't go away some time after it melted in his mouth.
It never sticks for long, but that's to be expected. He's happy for that brief time regardless.
On a lighter note, kissing him must be a pretty sweet affair. Pun intended, as there's always the taste of sweet cocoa somewhere in the decision to smooch him. He consumes it so often that it's way more pratical for him to have adopted Kaeya Alberich's method of freezing some bits to bring with himself, consuming them on the go or offering some to his traveling partners.
#from another realm ━ (ooc)#riddle me this; is everything that you remember real and nothing but the pure truth? ━ (H:SR V.)#you no longer know me; shrouded in the fog of mystery ━ (H:SR V. Headcanons)#''sam is there something simple about hsr kae.ya'' NO. AND IM MAD ABOUT IT /j#actually this hc makes me tender bc its not complicated at all. chocolate = home. one of the simplest things i ever wrote abt him#if ur muse ever gives him smth made of chocolate/with chocolate in it hes gonna light up smiling like a little kid... im gonna wring him#and im talking abt a genuine unplanned happy grin. not his usual calm friendly smile#the one that gives him wrinkles to the edge of his eye(s)................ IM GNONA. WRING HIM.#other food items given to him are gonna make him curious but chocolate gets a visceral unmasked smile out of him ;-;#im NOT responsible for the unprompted asks this will bring to give hsr kae.ya chocolate stuff... (hypnotizing yall in sending)
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Yeah I mean I could write the last 6.5 chapters of Book 2... or I could fuck around with character designs for the antagonists who haven't shown up in 400 pages and probably won't physically appear for another 200.
#dmls-spoilers#talking to myself#i would (and am about to) argue tom huston is not so much an antagonist as a natural consequence#he technically had nothing to do with either the train derailment in september 1872 or the ambush in june 1873#royston killed all three of his sons + his daughter in law for what seems like no reason (tom not having insight into his kids' activities)#so his activity in book 2 is excessive but not totally beyond the realm of comprehension#powell's group are the Actual Antagonists#and 2/5 of them aren't coming back from the Bad Ending bc of Shit That Happened#so i would v much like to have a good handle on powell's group dynamics etc. before i do anything else#being as how they think of themselves as the player characters in book 1 LOL#like “ok heroes what have you been up to since sullivan fucked up your plans again”#joke: i do not currently nor have i ever had control over my plot
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why have I never seen anyone talk about the part in assassin's Fate that takes place while Fitz is alone and everyone thinks he's dead where Fitz finds the white woman (I believe her name was Capra?) who was responsible for all of the Fool's suffering and killed her. and he made sure to wake her up when he killed her so that he could say "for my Beloved and for my Bee, you die" and then look her in the eyes as he strangled her. can we talk about that. and then of course his absolute queen moment where he took the rest of her roasted chicken with him
#like i know we talk about the ''would kill for you trope'' but ive never seen the part where he actually does#im sorry but FOR MY BELOVED AND FOR MY BEE#the romance the tragedy the stone cold revenge of a heartbroken man#rote#realm of the elderlings#robin hobb#going insane!!#fitzchivalry farseer#the fool#:v
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||. finally going to bed thinking about lore - keeper asgardians . thinking about how intelligence and wisdom are one of their favored traits. thinking about how thor is the best of every asgardian ideal . thinking about how he is wise . thinking about his street - smarts . thinking about how he is also knowledgeable in legends , lore , and folktale. he is adaptable . he takes this knowledge , adapts to it , and crafts himself into something stronger. he is ever growing , and one of those ways is how he seeks out knowledge , and knows well to keep a sharp mind on the tales told by word of mouth or written on a page.
#(ik loki is book - smart and all that and good for him)#(i think it's clear that thor absolutely relies on loki to have increasingly /niche/ knowledge about things esp where magic is concerned)#(but i don't think he relies solely on loki to obtain and retain that knowledge. because thor also seeks it out.)#(in the first film /he/ is the one to educate jane - an astrophysicist - on the truth of the nine realms. he's able to TEACH HER-)#(-about the alien world she truly lives in. that was all him.)#(in TDW it's shown that heimdall taught thor about the convergence himself and that thor was very knowledgeable about how it works)#(in that same film he's shown to have a deep understanding of asgardian history - taught by odin himself in some respects.)#(he's ALSO very familiar with the hall of knowledge where the tree is and commends jane for picking it up so fast.)#(he's /also/ able to instantly deduce that what is hurting jane is foreign to earth. aka alien. aka something cosmic like HIM)#(i can't remember off the top of my head how they narrow it down to the aether but he was clearly already on its trail)#(and that's just /his movies/.)#(in avengers 1 he's instantly able to tell that there's a bigger foe at play behind loki's attempted siege of earth.)#(he's also the one to have extensive personal knowledge of the infinity stones in avengers 2)#(anyways all of this to say is that thor is INCREDIBLY intelligent and nobody gives him credit for that and it makes me mad.)#(just because he doesn't talk about it the way someone like tony stark or bruce banner do doesn't mean he's not right up there with them-)#(-and honestly probably /surpasses/ them bc he's so friggin old and literally alien.)#(but he lets them do their thing and only corrects them when they actually need it bc he LIKES to see them learn and be smart and cool)#(that's their thing!! good on them. he loves to see his human friends thriving. eveniftoasgarditsrudimentaryasallhell)#(anyways thor is smart and yes this includes book smarts and i WILL throw hands about this.)#( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .#( headcanon . ) — glory to the man who toils for his land . may it ever prosper .#(not even hc tbh it's just fact)
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Been presented with the theory that the Fool knew Fitz was in love with him by Tawny Man but that his upbringing and emotional damage combined meant that he would never be able to admit it to himself, which just adds so many extra levels of pain to the quarrel. Like it’s bad enough if he thinks that Fitz doesn’t love him in the same way and is rejecting him outright, but if he knows that he does but Fitz has too many issues for it to make a difference…
#realm of the elderlings#rote#fitzchivalry farseeer#the fool#fitzloved#it actually makes sense when you think about it#they can feel each other’s emotions because of the skill bond#at more than one point they could read each other’s minds#and fitz isn’t exactly subtle#he checks him out all the time and gets upset when he talks to women#fitz only doesn’t notice this because of the powers of denial
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*reading a thesis about the evolution of the concept of infinity in China with a large amount of tabs open with diverse articles or word combinations to further look for information, all the while seething, blood boiling* I wish Satoru Gojo would fucking cease to exist
#He's damn lab made I swear. I want to strangle him into inexistence. Brush him away from the realm of reality even in the subset of fiction#Only thing I'm not into are his looks. Like yes. He's handsome. But not my type at all. THANKFULLY#My friend keeps asking if I've kept watching. I'm still halfway through episode eight#But you see this is me enjoying this actually#I'm having a blast#A terrible one because I *am* getting attached to this character well beyond Cantor#And I vehemently don't want that#I can foresee this will be a problem as if I were both in the mess itself and moved on from it#Past and future converge in the present and I'm already there and I'm back there again all the while I'm here#Everything is at the same time and I can see what will be in what is because of the echo of what was#As if reading a reverberation of a sound into the future#I am so mad. So mad#He's lab made. I could eat him like a lollipop. I could strangle him to death.#I can't stop thinking about potentials implications and potential readings that most likely have no meaning nor place in the manga#I can't stop thinking about infinity. Again. Like years ago. And enjoying it. Again. Like years ago#Tipsy on exhilaration. Hazy because of nostalgia. Deeply frustrated by this mix. By all this#The past becoming present again and anticipating an unwanted emotiveness that could only break my ribs and leave me nothing again#Yet I can't stop thinking. I can't stop thinking about infinity and I can't stop thinking about Satoru in specific#but also the potential in the previous Gojos and the potential in Sukuna and it makes me wonder about Gojo's friend‚#wondering about the Continuum‚ wondering about the School of Names and the play on contradictions. And then Cusa#But of course. That's why I'm here. And it's so frustrating I want it all to burn#And I could sing but my blood is boiling and at the same time I want to go back in time#Every criticism I try to make to dismantle the princeling and my fondness for him I end up making work again#Perhaps if I read or watch more I'll be able to make it fail. Perhaps I won't like it as much as I could like it in my mind#Perhaps it will be worse‚ and so safe. I'm still halfway through episode eight. I keep watching on loop. I keep looking for books and papers#I could drink him like fresh water. I can foresee my drowning#Anyway...#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I guess I should make a tag for my thoughts while watching/seeing this instead of just using the general tag
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#tag talk#I feel good cause a new friend at work said something about how my boyfriend hasn't talked much to him since meeting me#And I was like uh oh I do not want to be that bitch#and I know he's been trying to organize some kind of game might and I was like rip you can't get him to play stardew valley with you#and I don't like stardew valley so I was like hey what about minecraft? because if I get them playing together on a realm then It's fixed#so anyway now I might have a new server and friend group to play with and hopefully I'll be less in the way of the preexisting friend group#because I'm really conscious of when I'm the reason stuff goes poorly so I don't wanna be a reason friends don't hang out anymore.#cause that shit sucks. jealous girlfriend type can go die I ain't about hogging people I don't feel good about it.#I just want everyone to get along and be friends#I'm putting in the work to learn bedrock mechanics. that's how committed I am to this. I hate variations on an established base.#it's the autistic in me for sure. I loathe multiple versions of songs. there can only be one true version. one right answer. all else is bad#so the slight discrepancies between bedrock and Java drive me absolutely nuts bonkers up the wall#I read a really good twilight fanfic and it rewired my brain and now I'm forever mixing up which is cannon and which is fanfic#because my brain immediately booted the version I preferred less and installed the new fanfic version as the correct right version#anyway. I'm hunting tutorials that actually explain the mechanics and taking notes so I know how to adjust the designs for aesthetics#because you need the minimum mechanical base to work before you can ad lib a building style and design onto the structural framework#I figured out the iron farm mechanics so tomorrow I think I'm gonna work on gold farm stuff. and redstone I just want to learn myself
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