#he’s terrified of deep water and will never go on a boat

[llamagoddessofficial]

llama i must know

do you have any thoughts about siren bad sanses? 👉👈(//ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠//)

do i

Horror: Now, Skull is a cecaelia. But I think Horror would be a little different. A big frightening toothed whale - particularly, a Risso's dolphin. Risso's dolphins have a cool effect where any time they get an injury, their scars lose pigment and remain white forever. Horror is slowly turning whiter and whiter as time goes on.

Just like usual, he used to be normal sized, but his injury kickstarted a bizarre growth spurt and he's become far larger than he ever should've. He enjoys targeting boats - since he's so big he can easily sink small ships, his favourite 'game' is ramming vessels and seeing who survives after the ship rolls over. He eats anyone who drowns.

I can imagine him falling in love with you from the water, and rocking your boat purely to get your attention. If you ignore him he slams into the hull in frustration. He'd never sink your boat, of course... not unless you were really, REALLY ignoring him, and he lost his temper.

Dust: An oceanic whitetip shark. The beautiful dark colouring. The 'dusty' white edges of the fins and tail. A solitary, wandering creature that's probably responsible for many of the open-water shark attacks attributed to other species... IMO, it's absolutely perfect.

Before joining Nightmare, he travelled long distances in isolation, avoiding large vessels or groups but hunting down and killing anyone (or anything) he caught alone. He'll follow prey for weeks; he often waits for people on boats to go stir crazy before he attacks.

He's a distant admirer. He'll stalk from afar, but come closer at night, when it's hard to distinguish his dark shape against the moonlit sea. He thinks you'll be a very pretty siren.

Killer: @aka-indulgence suggested Killer is a bull shark and she's absolutely right. Killer is hyperactive and murderous, but incredibly loyal to those he cares about (even if he won't admit he cares). Bull sharks are fast, notoriously aggressive, yet surprisingly social.

Killer just enjoys... well, killing. He sometimes plays with his prey, but the games are never as forgiving as Horror's, or as patient as Dust's. He likes to bite the limbs off of his targets and watch them struggle to get away.

He's extremely friendly to you. Worryingly so. He lacks any subtlety, he'll come right up to your boat and put his arms over the edge when he wants your attention, flirting like you didn't just watch him murder another siren in cold blood. A swift strike with an oar is usually enough to ward him off - but unfortunately, it never seems to chase him away permanently.

Nightmare: He isn't any one species. He's much, much older. He was something else before his corruption... but times change, don't they? If you don't know what to call him, he certainly doesn't mind the ego stroke of being called a kraken.

Obviously it would be ridiculous of me to make Nightmare anything other than a cecaelia. He's large, scary, black as midnight sea, beautifully bioluminescent when he wants to be. He has attributes of lots of different deep-sea creatures; retractable hooks in his tentacles, a toxic bite, terrifying teeth, incredible vision. He's not the kind of thing you want to encounter underwater. Ever.

The other sirens would be very reluctant to let Nightmare know you exist. But when all three of his underlings are chasing the same prey... well. You'll catch his eye sooner or later.

[alicerosejensen]

Mistake

Warning: death of the reader; indirect mention of Leon's infidelity.

This is a re-posting since my account was blocked on the same day I posted this.

It was a mistake to let you go alone. It was a mistake to believe that a stupid trip would end well and you would return to his house unharmed. And that was his mistake.

Leon holds you in his arms and the noble ladies from the old portraits look disapprovingly at the one he dared to save. You can feel his firm grip on your hip and under your armpit as he carries you to the evacuation site with a pale, cold-blooded face down which tears are flowing. What should he feel besides the searing pain in his chest from just your bloody appearance? Through the veil you hear his strangled wheeze and quiet orders not to dare to die. His fingers dig deeper into your once tender skin when you feel the cool breeze blowing under your dirty white shirt, the only thing left for you besides underwear. The hair was tangled because of blood and dirt, but for Leon it was all so unimportant. He kept carrying you to save you, promising himself that you wouldn't die.

Not having the strength to scream, you would like to regret your last stupid quarrel because of which you left him because of the influx of stupid jealousy. But you just didn't have the strength to go back to your sad life anymore. Leon's jacket still warmed your body, but the stopped heart suggested that you left this world plunging into a dark space, black as the night itself, thickened in the sky where there is no longer any heat, heat, pain or abyss.

It's a nice strange feeling when death enchants you.

And now you are like a fallen petal of a rare flower, floating between the seasons. If either of you understood each other well, you and Leon would never have parted. But when Leon, after a few shouts of your name, squeezes you in his arms, he realizes that you have gone limp… his heart stops.

You left him alone. Sad and lonely.

"Don't you dare die!" Leon is screaming out of breath, trying to get your heart to beat again. As if, having heard him somewhere from the outside, you felt such pity for him. He put so much effort into finding and saving you. All the last few months of imprisonment were like a requiem before a fateful finale without a happy ending. Leon hugs you to his chest, trying to share his warmth; kisses your thin wrists and dirty face to return to your embrace and kind love. This feeling of hopelessness in his chest was never like what he experienced when Simmons attacked Ada.

He realized that he had lost you.

"Sweetheart" Leon tucked his blood-soaked hair behind his ear. Your hand is in his. Sticky and cold where the wrist does not feel the pulse. "forgive me..."

It was your ticket to hell. With all these terrifying bloody rides for a stupid girl who knows how to hold a gun, just because at the beginning of the relationship Leon took the liberty of taking you to the shooting range. No physical or psychological training. Even if you hadn't died, your brain would have turned into a recurring nightmare for the rest of your life. Fortunately, like any attraction, everything tends to end, and the road to hell led you to the gates of paradise with a white ocean, cool water and complete silence where a small flimsy boat was ready to take you to the other shore.

To your personal paradise. In which there are no mutated monsters, no blood, no pain from wounds, no deaths, no Leon Scott Kennedy, who previously broke your heart.

You've seen enough to make the desire to live leave you, but Leon kept trying to make your heart beat with useless indirect heart massage. You went to the deep bottom, as if she had never been with him and did not love him. Leon's tears are dripping on your cheeks, laying clean paths, washing away dirt and blood from you. The human brain lives for about five minutes after death and your precious seconds are almost running out. This man tore you into a thousand pieces and now he's holding you to him, but it should have been done before. The eternal scarlet sunset would never have caught up with you if the day before your trip and on the day of the quarrel Leon grabbed you in his arms, chaining you to him with hot hugs without letting you go anywhere.

This horror could have been prevented.

But when you were thrown like a mangy puppy, he cherished his love for Ada Wong. No one knows what happens in those last moments when the soul leaves the body, but that very last second of your life without hearing or seeing him, you wanted him to be as hurt as you were when you found out the truth.

One single second before your feet dipped into the water and you got into the boat, and your wish was fulfilled…

You died in the middle of the night, despite the fact that you loved him very much anyway. Every creature has a mate but you don't have anything else. Let anyone but you be Leon's mate from now on. Before that ill-fated quarrel, you could even die for him, only Leon would quickly move away from your unnecessary sacrifice.

How monsters surrounded you from all sides and the light of your soul was extinguished forever. Then why did you continue to love his light half-smile and the expensive suit in which you first met him until the end? It is always cold outside, but inside of which sabantuy is raging. Leon is a man who often contradicted himself and you're just unlucky that he didn't dare to push you away.

There was no point in saving you anymore, but Leon continued to carry your body, pressing it closer to him, as if you were just unconscious and his legs were failing him, as if you were an unbearable burden, although before he always carried you lightly in his arms. He won't have a chance at redemption and he'll always live with the guilt of your death. But if you were alive, Leon thinks that you would be sarcastic to him right now, like Ada would be able to comfort him. And Leon is angry even though he knows it's stupid. You're silent in his arms.

He doesn't care how dirty you are. He kisses your face, squeezing your wrists tightly and for some reason trying to warm you up. His lips will imprint a kiss between eyes, temples, cheeks and lips themselves, leaving him a salty taste of blood. Leon catches you comfortably so that his jacket does not fly off you. your face is pressed against his shoulder, but he's not looking anymore. He thinks that maybe there will be a first aid kit in the helicopter from which there will be no sense. And even when they're taken away, Leon doesn't give you to anyone. He strokes your hair, begging the medic in his team to do something, but she looks at him with an indifferent look and then at the gaping wound on your chest and is silent, realizing that their captain has in fact already brought a corpse.

But in the end, you still end up in a corpse bag where they put you right away, taking you out of Leon's hands. No matter how he tried to take you back, he was not allowed. You didn't have time to see the sunlight and Leon feels like he let you down. Did not save. Shouted at the doctors, shouted at those who without regret stuffed you into this black cloth with a lock hiding from him like those scoundrels who ruined you. And then when everyone cooled down, he was simply confronted with the fact.

If dead, then the body belongs to forced sterilization.

But Leon won't even get your ashes... as if you kept torturing him while he drowned his pain in a bottle, breaking all the glasses. He kept your chiffon scarf close to him on purpose so he could smell you. His weakness... he just wanted you around again.

And all because of one damn mistake he made.

[faerunnn]

Reminiscing

(gif found here!)

Tav x Astarion (GN reader)

Word count: 2136

Note: I changed the way the events of the story go a little in this, it just made more sense to me this way. Just a quick heads up! I really hope whomever reads this can find the comfort in the sadness. I know i certainly do. Sending a big hug either way <3 (also thanks again so much for the love on ''Pain'', i really liked reading the notes and reblog comments <3)

The cool autumn breeze flew through your hair, strands flowing with the ever changing directions of the wind. Closing your eyes for just a brief moment, taking a deep breath, a small smile forms on your lips. Somehow this moment felt more peaceful than the last few months have been. A rare moment in an orbit of continued chaos that has become your life. You open your eyes, looking over the bustling streets, sinking paths that lead to other taverns, other houses, other lives. There were a few boats in the harbor of Baldur’s gate, a few more lingering in the lagoon. The sun set a while ago, but the faint oranges and purples are still visible at the edge of the water. Folding your arms over each other you lean more into the railing of the top roof of the tavern. Somehow a moment of peace and quiet whilst the lost voices of people talking, sounds of tankards clinking and music being played slowly fades. You let your thoughts drift off. Only for a moment.

It has only been a few weeks since the city was freed of mind flayers, the absolute and all the destruction it brought with it. Only 8 weeks since you tried to rebuild your life in the only town you could somewhat call home. The process of even remotely taking all the events in has been painfully slow. Slower than you expected. Slower than you wanted to admit. 

When you got abducted by the nautiloid, life moved at a fast pace. You were gone for months, fighting your way back to Baldur's gate. The desperation grew heavier and heavier with each step you and your companions took. You all grew so close in such a short period of time. But that was a given, being together 24/7. It somehow feels like a blur now. You went from not trusting a single soul, ready to fight and kill everyone who even dared to take a step in your direction, to making the best of friends you never had. 

But there was something more. You fell in love. A pale elf, white curly hair and deep red eyes. You could never forget his face. No matter how hard you try. The way he managed to break down the walls you had built and maintained for years so easily. He took a place in your heart, one reserved for him. Like he was meant to reside there. You fell first, but he fell harder. You were there for each other. For the first time in both of your lives you were not alone anymore. Surrounded by people who you cared for and loved you. A terrifying thought, yet the comfort you felt knowing you didn't have to fight your battles alone anymore was far greater than the fear. 

After the big battle there was only one thing left to do. You all had planned this for almost the entire adventure. Cazador was to die. Astarion was to finally be free. The last thing left to do. Stop the ritual, kill Cazador and live free. All he had ever wanted was to be free. So when he decided to ascent himself against your better judgements, you were shocked to say the least. Only wanting him to finally have the control and happiness in his life that he deserved, you supported him. But the outcome was much different than you had ever anticipated. The sweet, soft Astarion you came to grow and love was gone. The nights you spend looking at the stars, talking about everything and anything. It faded faster than snow before the sun. You couldn't recognise him anymore. His desire for more power, to become even greater than anyone the city or even Faerun has ever seen became the number one priority for him. He didn't want to settle down anymore, did not want to live a quiet and civil life in the city, or any place for that matter, anymore. All of it was gone. And there was nothing you could do. You tried staying with him after. Not wanting to give up the bond you had built. But you quickly realized that whatever it was that you were trying to mend, was not there anymore. How could you fix something that doesn't exist? So one night,whilst he was away, you wrote him a letter; left it on the bed and left the palace grounds quietly and quickly. Not even once looking back at the love you had lost. 

For the past 6 weeks you have been staying with Karlach. Finding comfort in talking about everything with her. Shadowheart has been stopping by when she could too. All speaking of the struggles of finding comfort in a quiet life. The battleground and struggles had been the comfort of your lives for so long that everything about this life felt alien, unfamiliar. But it was so nice to not be alone in all of this. Astarion had made no efforts in mending things with you. He knew you couldn't be far. This city was all you had left. Yet he has not once made the effort to find you. 

Slowly you had been trying to get back out there. Doing odd jobs for elder neighbors, taking small walks by the water, reading in the park. Trying to find new hobbies, what you seek comfort in. things that made you truly happy. It had been a tough road. But slowly you were getting there. Rediscovering your interests, igniting old, dull flames of joy within your heart. 

Tonight was one of the first times that you had properly been out of the house without Karlach or Shadowheart. Meeting up with friends from the past had been on your to do list for a while, but the fear of reaching out had been greater than the idea of experiencing the joy of reuniting. But when you ran into Elda while stopping by a local market you had no reason to turn her invitation down. Just a casual night in the tavern you used to go to when times were easier, years ago. 

You snapped out of your memories when you heard someone clear their throats behind you. You stopped slouching over the railing and turned around, expecting a drunk sailor to ask you to move. But you were met with familiar burgundy eyes. Shock washed over your face as you held your breath, not really knowing what to say. 

‘’Hello, pet.’’ He said. A light smirk on his face. You hated how much you loved that smirk. The way it would make you feel inside. You knew that he knew this as well. The amount of times you told him all the things you loved about him. You exhaled and swallowed a big gulp of tears. Not wanting to break down. This was not the time. 

‘’Astarion.’’ You said with a somewhat shaky breath, but still trying to sound as polite as possible. There was no reason for drama. No reason for causing a scene. That was the last thing you needed. 

He smiled oh so slightly when he heard you speak his name. You caught it, but how fast it appeared, it faded as well. A much colder and composed face reappeared again. The one you grew familiar with after the ascension. You gave him a tight smile, almost laughing at how fitting that little interaction just now was. 

‘’I had been wondering where you went.’’ he looked around the area. ‘’I expected a little more class from you, darling.’’

‘’Don't call me that, please.’’ It almost came out as a plea. Which truth be told, it was. The feelings had felt so fresh still. You looked at the ground, not even wanting to make eye contact anymore. It was all too much. The feelings and emotions that you had been trying to push away and bury all floating back to the surface. You turn back to face the railing again, trying to compose your thoughts and now staring at the crescent moon grazing the night sky. 

You hear soft footsteps coming closer and from the corner of your eye you see him leaning down next to you. He is wearing much nicer clothes now. Looking all polished and untouchable. You don't dare to look his way. Not being able to speak a single word. You stand there, recollecting your thoughts in a somewhat comfortable silence. 

‘’It doesn't have to be this way, you know.’’ he states after a while. You notice him glancing your way but still refuse to meet his gaze. ‘’I thought you wanted forever. I wanted to give you forever.’’ 

A lump forms in your throat as you hear him speak. Tasting emotion in his tone. A softer voice, pauses between sentences. He is struggling. Whether it is on the same level as you, you don't know. 

‘’You went down a path i can’t follow, Astarion.’’ You finally manage to get out, trying your best not to let the emotions take over your entire demeanor. You look up at him with glassy eyes. A shaky breath escapes your lips while you try to look for the emotion in his face. Even if it was a trace, ever so small. A trace of the old him. The Astarion you fell to love so dearly. But you see nothing. There will forever be a small amount of hope residing in you that he changes his ways. That he will snap out of it and come back to you. That you will pick up where things left off, making the dreams you created true. Together. You would wait for him. Give him the space he needed. But looking at him now, in front of you. He is not there anymore. His face is cold and unmoving. Not a single emotion or reaction in response to seeing you in this state, speaking these words to him. 

‘’I wanted forever with you. The rest of my life, for however long that may be. Free. From anyone or anything. No more pacts, no more devils.’’ You start. ‘’No more, anything. Just you and me. A small house, here in the city. Or far away. I didn't care, as long as you would be by my side. But you chose a different future for yourself. More power. More status. More pacts, one with the devil. We had different versions of freedom created in our future. I never wanted to be your pet. Your spawn. I wanted an equal, a partner.’’ Tears ran down your cheeks.hot and warm, in a way they haven't in a while. A feeling you've been trying to suppress and move on from for a while now. You look back at the harbor while you wipe some tears off your face with the back of your hand. You take a deep breath before you continue. 

‘’You broke my heart, Astarion. The way you treated me the weeks before I left. I felt like I had lost everything I fought so hard for. You broke me. I let you in, we let each other in.’’ You emphasize the last part of the sentence in frustration. ‘’I gave you all of me.’’ 

He stands in silence as he takes in everything you’re saying. Again, for a split second you can detect some sort of emotion in his eyes. Sadness. But just like before it fades even quicker than it appeared. He has not changed. The little flicker of hope in your heart, dimming. Maybe you needed this encounter. Maybe this was somehow the universe telling you that it is time to let it go, for good. No looking back anymore. No more waiting around for a small miracle. He gave his soul away. He would never be able to get that back, not from the pact he made.  

You take in his silence, and look back at him, one last time. Taking in his features. He still looks as handsome as you remembered. And you will never not remember him this way. You take one deep breath and just let all the tears settle for a second. 

‘’I honestly and truly hope you are happy now. That you feel and experience the freedom you longed for. You out of all of us maybe deserved it the most.’’ You say and you give him a soft but genuine smile before you turn around completely, ready to walk away. 

‘’Goodbye, Astarion.’’ You say and you walk back into the tavern, not looking back while a single tear escapes your eye once more. You feel his gaze burning into your back but you cannot turn back anymore. This was it. He found his happiness, or so you hoped. And now it is time you find yours.

[333creolelady]

Lady Of The Blue Bakunawa Ch.8

Roman Reigns (Pirate) X Black Afab! OC

Warnings: Mentions of su*c*dal ideation, use of the word Su*c*de, Death of animal, Gore, Cursing, Water accidents, Scary creatures, Angst (with fluff). Paranoia. This is a lengthy one guys.

Official Story Playlist link Here

Alternative Playlist link Here

Chapter 7 <-

Next chapter : TBA ->

Official story PL songs this chapter: Igloo, Will you help me, Going in, The sixth station, Too close, The Legend of Ashitaka

Alternative songs this chapter: Slow life, St Jude, Nothing but trouble, Time, Nice Dream, Motion picture soundtrack, Suzanne

Cover by: @joannasteez

Tags for those who asked about new chapter: @2-muchsauce @sortudademais @joannasteez

Roman POV

Roman sat on the Cabin floor watching Jane sleep in his arms while wearing her soaking wet clothes. His fingers brushed the sides of her face as he recalls the day he met her. It was much like this but in somewhat different circumstances. He could only describe this place as the feeling of being in a dream. Disconnected from his body, perhaps floating above it but still present. Tunnel visioned.

He remembers the feel of her heart racing against his flesh as they stared at the Dragon head on. Facing one’s own mortality was a humbling experience. He was as terrified as she was. He found no point in trying to avoid what would happen. All he could do was accept their ending. At least he would meet his end holding the woman he loved. Had he been alone, he wasn’t so sure if he would have accepted his fate so easily.But to have death graze his flesh and beckon him forward? To feel his soul bend, twist,and tear from his flesh. To feel the crash of the boat, the frigid water, the splintered wood. To feel the terror and the despair. It was simply unimaginable.

Through it all, he blanketed himself around her the best way he could. Reality bent around them. Screams of terror echoed in the gut of the beast. Her fingers clung to him and his to hers. They flipped, spinned, whirled, and were ultimately swallowed and submerged. And then…they were spat out into what could only be described as uncharted land.

It would seem as though this place was not of the world. It was foreign, alien, different. From what he could see out of the window, even the sand was a different color from what he was used to.

Some of his comrades woke up laying outside of the ship on the sand bed, others were still inside of the splintered ship. Jane and Himself ended up on the cabin floor, him at the door and her in the back of the room. He crawled towards her, ignoring the calls for him in the distance. He hadn’t moved a muscle and wouldn’t until he saw the light come back into her eyes again.

As she slept peacefully, her key was warm and glowing. He suspected that the dragon spared them because of that key. However, as long as she wore it, her life would be in danger. Her body was littered with bleeding scratches and deep purple bruises. His skin suffered the same fate. It felt like the boat itself had been ripped apart and then miraculously put back together.

An unrecognizable sense of gratitude washed over him when he saw her in their room, banged up but unscathed. To know that she had been spared. To know that he will feel his mouth on hers again, he will hear her voice, see her smile, feel her skin. Gratitude…sheer gratitude to be alive. Grateful to feel the heart beating in his chest, to hear waves crashing, to feel the dampness of his clothes. Grateful to be alive. Grateful to know the story didn’t end here. That they still had time. Yet, he was fearful of something that he could not place.

He could only surmise it as the fear of God. The same fear of God that many people around him possessed that he didn't quite understand before.. He never feared death. He didn’t have a particular God that he believed in or a religion he subscribed to. But some force…be it the Dragon, Universe, or something else entirely…spared him. He was spared and it was riveting and terrifying. Terrifying to be acquainted with the Black, quiet, stillness of Death and to be pulled out of it in an instant — reborn like a child.

Jane woke with a gasp calling his name, “ Roman…Roman ”, she rasped. The salt had burned her throat. His name was the first word she spoke after such a horrific thing. Almost as if her thoughts of him hadn’t stopped in her slumber.

“ You’re alive. We’re alive Jane”, he whispered in the crook of her neck.

“ Are you…are you sure ?”, she sniffled. He hummed against her cheek, pressing soft kisses to it.

Roman shrugs.“ The universe knew I promised you that ice cream ”, he chuckled. A cautious smile spread over her face as she finally opened her eyes. She cracked them open, blinking slowly to adjust to the light of the room. Her brown orbs looked around the cabin and then finally they focused on him, her pupils dilating in size when she saw his face. She smiled sweetly at him and him at her.

He could see that same gratitude on her face as well. “ I’m happy to be alive”, she whispered softly, closing her eyes again. And knowing what he knew now about Jane, that wasn’t always the case. He grateful for it.

“ I’m happy to be alive with you”, he said quietly. He pulls him to her with ease, and places her in his lap. They embrace in a comfortable silence. She pulled away holding his face..“ What will we do? Where are we? How will we get out of here ?”

“ I’m not sure.I don’t know. We still have a map. The compass is spinning on itself constantly. I don’t know if we’re actually anywhere …?”, said Roman. His face mirrored the same confusion as her own.

“ What do you mean ?”

“ I mean…I don’t think we’re in a place that’s to be considered…Worldly. ”

“ Worldy..”, she tried the words on her lips.

“ Yes…do you remember what happened ?”

“ I remember feeling like I was falling and now I'm here.”

“ The Dragon…?”, he hinted. Her eyes widened in terror thinking back to that fateful night on the boat. He adds, “ I don’t think we’re in some distant ocean anymore Jane. I think we’re inside the Dragon.”

A peculiar questioning look danced on her face as if she was not entirely convinced. She went to stand and Roman followed suit. She looked around the drenched cabin, looking at the ruined items.

“ If we get out of here, what I buy for you will pale in comparison to what you own now. Don’t worry, Dove.”

“ It’s not just my things Roman…yours too. All of it. All our belongings. Things that cannot be replaced.”

He looks at his soaked booked collection with pages ripped out. The room resembled the aftermath of a poltergeist “ Were alive…it’s all that matters. We will have more memories to make.”

“Not if we can’t leave this place”, she warned.

A voice calls out in the distance. “ Is she awake ??!”

The two walk out of the cabin to see Caden standing outside with a worried look. He rushes to inspect her. “ Are you alright ?? You were the last to wake up.”

“ I’m okay. No worries”, she urged, squeezing his hand in reassurance. Other voices call to for Roman’s attention.

“ Cap!!!!!’ “

“ Captain! “

“ Cap’n!”

Jane POV

Jane looked at him knowingly, not minding that he was clearly needed by his crew. He looks at her hesitantly.. a look that says “are you sure you’re okay?”. She smiles knowingly and nudges his arm in approval. He kisses her temple and heads back down to the sand to assist his men.

“ How long has it been?”, she asks Caden.

“ We’ve been here since the Sun was the highest. We are a couple hours from sunset I believe.”

“ That’s no good. It will get cold fast”, she warned

“ A couple of the men are in the tree line trying to find some dry wood to burn. We’ve found a few pieces.”

“ Was any food salvaged?”

“ Half of the jarred items. We don’t have enough food to last us on the way back. Maybe 2-3 months if we spread out the meals.”

“ We’ll have to live off the sea if it comes to it. Do we have any fresh water left ?”

“ No, it was lost to the sea. We’ve found a tree bearing fruit with water however”

“ Coconut. It will hold us over here but it won’t last if find a way to journey back. Rainwater will have to do but don’t drink it fresh– lest it turn your stomach. Boil it first”

“ Aye”, Caden leaves her to spread the word to the other members of the ship.

Worry fills her gut. Even if they live off the land and survive here for a few months, they won’t be able to survive the journey back without clean water. Their only hope was Roman—who’s descended from people who lived off the land for centuries. She overheard him explaining which plants were poisonous and which weren’t. He’d already known which fish were the best to eat ..which was helpful. However his memory failed him at times because of how long he’d been removed from his home. Two months without food was difficult but survivable. Without water however? Impending Death. The ship needed repairs that could take months to actually finish. This situation was impossible. Was the treasure really worth it if they wouldn’t live long enough to see use it ?

Instead of mentally spiraling she decides to start collecting personal items and mementos from the shore, sorting them into a large pile. She sees Roman in the distance talking with such conviction and frustration. Everybody looked so tired. Perhaps being reunited with their photos and personal belongings would bring them back some cheer.

She focused on her task until nightfall. Some of the men were able to find some dried wood behind the tree line and made a sizable bonfire. Everybody gathered around it. She walked through the crowd trying to find her love. Roman was on the opposite side, adding more wood to the flame. The heaviness of his eyes subsided when he saw her. She rushed over to his side, gluing herself to it like a second skin. She could feel his muscles relax as he wrapped his free hand around her waist. Things were bad but with him near…it was all manageable. She’d never felt that way about anyone before. “ Hungry?” He asks her. She nods.

One thing about living on the sea, every man had experience with fishing. Tonight they found a plethora of sea creatures to eat. Fish, crabs, muscles, a few lobsters, and even a baby squid. They pushed everything on sticks and broiled it over the fire before tearing it away with their teeth. Everyone was so hungry that barely anyone spoke but a few words during dinner. Too sun drunk and hungry to care about anything.

Roman fed her pieces of raw fish…the safe ones of course. She only really agreed to it because it was an excuse to feel his fingers in her mouth. She bit him playfully during the bigger bites which made him twitch away before his eyes darkened.

“ Oh how lucky you are that we have no room to ourselves”, he warned quietly. She chuckled quietly.Coming so close to death and being stranded had changed her feelings about many things. She smiled knowingly. If they made it out of this…the things she would let him do…

Her mind turned back to their current issue at hand. Food. Water. Fire. Boat. Treasure— in no order.

“ Do we have a plan?”, Caleb asked out loud. The men chewed in deep thought.

“ I’ve heard stories that the pirate who finds the treasure gets three wishes. Maybe if we find that treasure we can find a way to get out of here sooner and put an end to all of this ?”, said Cortez.

“ But there’s no way to know for sure. What if we make it there and there is no wish?”, asked Adhar.

“ What do we have left to lose at this point? We’ve already lost everything?”, Said Rory.

“ We have the coconuts and we’ll collect the rainwater. Everybody here can miss a meal… we’ll be okay but we must have the water. The seafood is plentiful..we can eat that along with our rations that we salvaged. I know a few plants that are edible. We can keep searching the forest for fruit”, Roman suggested.

“ What if it doesn’t rain and we run out of coconuts ? And what about the boat?”, said Jane.

“ We can rebuild a boat using the scraps we find. There is plenty of plank wood here from other ship wrecks. If it comes to it we’ll try to start this from scratch”, Said Roman.

Jane winced. “ I don’t know…that could take months.”

“ The time will pass anyway. Everyone is stable for now. We’ve got food and water. All that’s left to do is find that treasure and figure out how to use it to our advantage”, Roman urged.

“ Captain is right. We don’t have much else to lose”, Caden agreed.

Adhar spoke up. “ So when do we go?”,

“ Dawn. We all need rest first”, said Roman.

“ I volunteer my services Cap’n”, Said Rory.

“ As do I”, said William

“ And me.. Obviously ”, says Adhar.

“ And I”, Jane squeezes Roman’s hand reassuringly. She can already see the protest etching itself across Roman’s face. “ Remember..what you promised me.”

Roman sighs in frustration. “ I know…but this is more dangerous Jane. We don’t know what could come from this. There could be dangerous animals…poisonous insects. We don’t know what we’re up against.”

“ You feel it..I feel it. Remember ? We do this together. Besides, I have the key. The creature said I can’t take it off unless I open the treasure. I was meant to be by your side for this”, Jane pleads.

Roman looks at her in deep thought, “ I just want to protect you…”, he whispers quietly to her.

“ I know you do. You’ve done the best you can. I can’t ask for a better…”, the words fall short of her lips.

Roman’s brows furrow playfully. “A …Better ?”, he chuckled, wondering what she would say. She didn’t squirm or shy away from his teasing.

“ A better…. Match”, she muttered softly looking down at her half empty coconut.

“ That most certainly works”, he smiled, pouring the rest of his coconut water into her shell.

The rest of the night was filled with strategizing, the occasional chuckle thanks to Rory, and more eating. Rest followed and it came swiftly.

Roman POV

He was up before the sun, stomping out the weak flames left from the bonfire. He checks his map once, twice, thrice. His stomach was turning with an unexplainable anxiousness. This treasure would determine if everything was worth it.

If he was a better man he would say that finding Jane was the real treasure and to some degree it was. She came into his life and filled it with unimaginable joy. However, now the goal post has moved. It was his duty to make sure that the rest of Jane’s life was spent in comfort. Those riches were no longer his the moment his eyes laid on her and deep down he knew that. She was his greatest weakness and rarest Jewel now. It's said that pirates do not have a weakness for women. The sea was their betrothed, rum was their mistress, a good woman was a small vacation. Jane became an all encompassing paradise even at a time like this.

William awakened next, helping him sharpen blades and swords. Crossbows were prepared, Meat rations organized, Coconut water collected. Extra pairs of shoes and clothes were salvaged. After a brief meeting on the terms and conditions of this journey with his men, he was ready. Roman wakes Jane last and she’s quick to come to her senses, readying herself and her hair for the long journey ahead. He laces her boots for her when she’s done. Her fingers comb through his hair as he takes care of her. He noticed he enjoyed being in servitude to her above all else.

As the sun broke the horizon they headed off into the bushes. Roman was first in line and Jane was immediately behind him. He swatted their path with a machete, sinking deeper into an alien jungle with sounds they’ve never quite heard before.

In all the books he’s read about pirates and treasure, they never seem to emphasize just how much the walk winds you before anything else. 5 miles in heat with patches of sunlight peeking through at just the right moments to singe the skin. Biting gnats, snakes, loud fucking birds screeching every moment of the goddamned day. Breathing feels like being under a blanket. The humidity is dizzying. This part may very well be worse than the boat wreck.

“ Break… please for the love of god”, William groaned.

“ Alright. We’ll stop here until the sun gives some reprieve—Jane”, Roman beckons her to him and hands her some coconut water that he collected in a canister. She takes it gratefully.

“ Not to sound like a wuss but this might as well be soup”, Adhar sighed.

“ Better than nothing”, Jane laughed.

“ I’ll drink to that”, William chuckled

The group set down their bags and supplies to take a much needed rest. Roman checked his compass and it continued spinning just like it had on the boat. He looked at it questionably and put it back into his pocket. Jane caught his expression, sharing the same worried look.

“This was certainly not how I pictured it. Nothing like the rumors I’ve heard”, Rory spoke up.

“And what have you heard ?”, says Jane.

“Myth says that the place that holds the treasure is full of diversions and tricks of the eye”, said Rory.

“Ay… they say that entire crews slaughtered themselves from sheer paranoia”, Cortez warns.

“ Umm, you didn’t think that would have been a helpful piece of information to mention before we’re miles into the jungle”, Jane scoffed.

“ You all forget that many of the rumors that we’ve heard have not been true. Few have held up to their gossip. There is no need to worry yet”, Roman interjects.

“ And if it is?”, says Jane.

Roman’s tone is flippant now. “I’ll cut any tongue that rises against you”.

Jane’s brow raises in suspicion. “Even your own?”

“Especially my own”, Roman smirked.

A mischievous look appears on Jane’s face. “Spare it for me. I’ve grown fond of it.”

Noises of gagging and disgust roll across the group like school children. Jane laughs.

“ Alright you love birds. What we really need to be worried about is what god forsaken creatures lurk in the night “, Adhar warns.

“ Indeed. I’ve heard noises out of nightmares seep from the tree line when we were on the beach. They sound rather large”, says Cortez.

Roman scoffs “ We have enough knives and gunpowder in our inventory to turn whatever that is into beef tartar as far as i'm concerned. Instead of worrying about what’s to come, why don’t you all shut your mouths and preserve your breath. You’re going to need it”, Roman dismissed the crew. Jane playfully saluted him with an “Aye Aye Captain” gesture which he secretly found amusing.

And they indeed needed it. When the sun hid behind the trees they set foot towards the center of the island. The descent was hilly and rocky, requiring core muscles and quick recovery. And then suddenly the terrain changed from a vast jungle to damp, humid, and muddy. Adhar fell on his bottom and the others followed suit eventually. Roman was lucky enough to stay upright, which tickled Jane. She found it peculiar how a man so large seemed to have the balance and agility of a cat.

The night ended cold. They started a fire and put 1 person on guard at a time. Camp was set up and tents were rolled out before everyone had a quick bite to eat. The morning came stiff. Jane pulled herself to her feet, stretching to relieve the ache in her joints. She looked around at the crew. They were all sweaty, dirty, and flushed from the exhaustion and the heat.

Roman holds up a large jar. “I Have pickled eggs if anyone wants breakfast.”

“Yes”, said Jane.

“Thank fuck. I’m starving”, said Adhar.

“Is it your goal to make us shit ourselves in the middle of the damned jungle with so much as a leaf to wipe our asses ?”Rory asked seriously.

“Beggars can’t be choosers”, Cortez shrugged with a smirk.

Roman shook his head. “ Look, It’s either that or beans”, Roman declared.

The entire group groaned at the word beans.

After a painfully humble breakfast, the journey continued for another day. More hot terrins, more mud, more mosquitoes, more sweat. As if the universe finally decided to give the group a break, it started raining again. At first it was welcomed as they all sat in a circle cooling off from such a difficult day of walking. Twenty minutes pass and it’s still pouring hard, so hard that the rain pellets begin to sting. The greenery was sparse in this part of the island which meant there was nowhere to hide. Jane looked to the sky wondering how many more days of this could she endure? Her joints were aching, her hair was dry and brittle, she even had a sun rash. She grew up running barefoot on beaches as a small child, knowing her skin absorbed every bit of the heat that shined down on her. Now her skin was tight and raw like the skin on her lips.

“This was a mistake..” she whispered quietly, head hanging between her crouched knees as she sat on the sparse wet grass.

Maybe life on the boat was treasure enough. Maybe a new found love was the treasure. Maybe a handsome man with generous pockets was the treasure–not this. NOT this.

Roman turned to Jane, just as dried out as her. He didn't look tired like her, strangely enough. He assessed his crew. They were dirty, tired, and sizzling out of the motivation from the reduction of food.

“ Dove.. we are close. Another day or two and we should be there “, He mused.

“ I know, I know. I underestimated this journey is all”, she confessed.

“ We are on the right track… trust. Everything on this map has come to pass”, Roma explains.

Jane turned her defeated eyes to his compass and then back to him warily. She inspected the caked dirt under her nails. Maybe she should have stayed behind but she couldn't rest knowing that he might be in danger. She would be just as miserable back at the beach as she was now. However, she had the key. It would not have mattered anyway.. A deep chuckle tickled her ears and a sneer paused just behind her teeth. She was days shy of her period and incredibly irritable.

“What's so funny?” she snapped at Roman.

He looked at her quizzically. “ I didn't say anything love”, He frowned.

“ I heard you fucking laughing. You think this is funny?”, Jane grew increasingly angry. The laughter played in her head over and over again. Strange inquisitive eyes looked back at her. Did they all think she was a joke for coming on this trip? Better yet, did they find her to be a burden? Someone they always had to look after? Undoubtedly weaker. She could feel her composure cracking. She stood up, gathering her pack and started walking away. Roman was on her heels, calling out to her.

He grabs her forearm and spins her around. Her face is pulled back in a tight annoyance that he’s never seen before. If the circumstances were lighter he would chuckle at the cuteness of it. A slow smile spreads across his face thinking of all the times he would provoke her to annoyance on the boat just to tease her.

“And you have the nerve to do it again?”, she scoffs at that sly smirk. She would melt underneath it had she not been so upset.

“This place is playing tricks on your mind, on your heart and soon your desires I'm sure. Stay focused Jane….there is no time to crack under the pressure”, he reasons.

Her face dropped in confusion and embarrassment. He smiled softly at her, smoothing her hair back under the slick of the rain.

“ It’s not just you.. Adhar believes something is following us. William isn't sleeping. Cortez is talking to himself. Rory is paranoid. As for myself, recurring nightmares that are even worse than when I was on the ship. It’s not just you who’s feeling the pressure. Remember why you’re here. Remember why we did this Jane”, he spoke carefully and firmly in that soft and disarming tone that always unraveled her defenses. She looked behind him at the group. They looked just as defeated. How hasn't she seen it before? How was this place already crumbling their composure? Nothing has happened yet?

“ I- I’m sorry”, She muttered.

“ S’okay. Come. Let’s take a nap. You are over tired and clearly very cranky”, he coaxed.

It pained her to admit to herself that she was indeed tired. She woke up warm and damp from the sun's feeble attempt to dry everything the sky had drenched. Her mood had not lightened. The boys collected rain water and boiled it, bottling it in the leather flasks they brought with them. The hike continued and continued with no breaks in between. Roman was growing increasingly restless and the lack of sleep had not helped. Cortez looked like a zombie and William was silently losing it by the hour. Adhar had gone blank hours ago. Rory was having full conversations with himself. Jane’s paranoia was etched across her face and she wasn't hiding it all that well.

Roman POV

That night they set up camp in a drier terrain and everyone became increasingly withdrawn. Roman sat by the fire with some large insect skewered onto a makeshift shank that he cut from his knife. He twirled it over the fire watching its hairs singe and trickle into the flames. In his peripheral he can see Jane sharpening her knife while looking over her shoulder. She was becoming increasingly hostile and anti-social despite his attempts to settle her. Adhar was rocking back and forth in front of him, staring into the fire. Williams looked anxious, looking over at Jane as if she herself was anywhere near his equal in size and height. Rory was walking in circles angrily, torching large flies that circled the camp. Cortez's eyes darted to him and then Jane's in a worried manner.

Roman began to worry that this journey would end in the bloodshed of one another. In just a few days the crew had become shells of themselves, personifying their worst fears or habits. Was it this island? Was it the hunger? Was it the heat? His thoughts ponder the stories he’d heard in Pubs and Taverns. There were talks trips that ended in bloody murder with crews turning on each other. Other stories said crews went mad and ate each other. It all started to come back to him and soon he realized that he should not have let Jane come.

Suddenly Williams stormed over to Jane and she stood defensively, knife in hand at the ready.

“Give me back my fucking flask”, William sneered at her.

“ I don't have your flask you ignorant Ogre”, Jane snapped.

“ I saw you hide it in your fucking boot. I won't ask again. Give me my flask or so help me I will fucking –”,

Roman shouted, “ Hey ! Cut it out!”

“ Stay away from me. I’ll gut you like a fish if you get any closer!”, Jane warned.

“ That’s it!” William took a step forward pulling Jane's arm which prompted her to slice her blade across his arm drawing blood. Roman sprung into action, tackling William to the ground in a blind rage. He begins to hit him repeatedly. Cortez and Adhar rush to pull him off but his brute strength makes it a task. Jane snaps out of her haze and screams.

“ Roman, stop it!”, she cries. Tears fill her eyes watching William’s bloody face curl in confusion and anger. He wraps his pinned leg around Romans calf and flips him over. Now William is wailing against him but not for long, as Roman pulls William’s face towards his mouth and bites him.

A long, groaning, agonizing, high pitched screech floats through the thick night air. The sound is so distinct that it freezes everybody in place. They all quiet down to inspect– to see if what they just heard was real. Jane’s tearful face is pulled back in fear as she looks at Cortez. Cortez’s eyes are scarily wide, like saucers. He looks past her, staring at something in the distance. She slowly turns her head to look behind her. At first her eyes didn't catch the figure because it was pitched black outside the boundary of light that the fire provided.

However, once her eyes adjusted to the contrast, she could make out the shape of what she assumed was a man. Her eyes started at the feet first. The soles of the black boots were missing, exposing the gray withered feet underneath them. What little clothes were left on the body hung off in shreds which allowed the rotting flesh to peak through underneath them. It was a person, or rather, it once was a person. What once held two healthy eyes were now clouded with blue and gray tones. There was no iris in sight. The skin on the face was pulled tight, exposing the angles of the skull in a harsh light. The nose was half eaten by decay and the top part of its lip was missing, showing rotten upper teeth. The jaw jutted from its skull as it drooled a thick black substance. A gaping hole where its heart should be, mirrored the plants and trees that it stood in front of.

“ C…C”, Jane fought to get a word out. She was paralyzed, jaw slack and frozen with fear.

Before any sudden movement could be made the creature made another shrieking ear piercing cry and darted straight for Jane, knocking her flat on her butt with a thump. It began to claw at her as Jane held her hands out protectively. The men were on it in seconds.

There was no question that 5 men on 1 man would be an easy win. Yet, no matter how many times Roman or William sheathed their knives into the creature, it would continue snarling, roaring, and snapping at the group completely unfazed by the injury. Roman looked just as disturbed as Jane who still sat on the damp ground in shock. In utter disbelief, Roman pulled out his pistol and pressed the barrel against the forehead of the creature. Roman experimentally pulls the trigger and it bursts rotten brain fragments everywhere.

In a quiet shaky voice Cortez whispers “ Amalanhig.”

“ On a scale of 1-10 how fucked are we ?”, Rory groans. He studies the headless corpse on the ground. Another snarl in the distance jolts everyone on their feet. A second scream pushes everyone to grab their packs. A third screech sends multiple bodies of the undead barreling towards them, revealing themselves from behind the treeline.

“ Royally… Run!”, Adhar yells.

Roman hauls over his shoulder. There would be no room for mistakes, tripping, or falling behind. Jane didn’t protest at all, and he could tell by the fear in her face that she would completely disappear from this situation if she could.

Jane POV

What she did not expect was for these creatures to be so fast? They were agile on their feet, snarling and convulsing as they ran after the group. Jane counted 10 and then 20….30 or more? She slipped the gun from Romans holster on his waist and began to shoot with the ammunition he left inside. It was difficult to get a good shot because of the bouncing. Head shots were the only thing that got the creatures to stop. Eventually she was able to take out two of the creatures. Williams pulled his musket from its case and briefly stopped every few meters to shoot. Jane tried to help him as best she could but after a few minutes the men were getting winded and the undead started to gain on them.

“ FUCK!”, Roman snarled angrily.

Cortez called out in a worried winded tone as he sprinted alongside the men, “ If anybody has an idea..now would be a good time to say something!”

Before Roman could say anything Jane shouted, “Trees!”

“ And if they don't disperse!?” Rory shouted over the noise.

“ I smell water. I think there may be a clearing up ahead !”, said Roman

The last 2 minutes to the lake felt like ages. William nearly got bit and Jane ran out of gunpowder. Guns were to be used sparingly.

“ I see it! just up ahead guys!”, Adhar yells. Jane turns her neck to look behind her. A paddle boat can be seen in the distance. Jane could feel a scream rising in her throat thinking of all the things that could go wrong in these next pivotal moments. She whimpered, “ The boat isn’t big enough!”

“ I’ll push and you all paddle. You stay in that boat. Do you hear me?!”, Roman scolded. He could see the wheels turning in her head. He needed to ensure her safety.

The group descended into the water like a life raft. Roman harshly shoved Jane into the boat, in fear that she would protest or try to help him. Only 5 people could fit inside the paddle boat. Roman pushed the boat deeper into the water as quickly as he could. The creatures descended into the shallow shore, heavy on his tail. Rory and Adhar picked up the oars and began to row to add to the momentum. Just before Jane could let out a breath of relief, Roman is pulled under the water by the dozens of creatures that had sunken to the bottom. A blood curdling scream spills from Jane’s mouth,“ ROMAN NO!! NOO!!!!”. She lunges for the water but William holds her back.

“ LET GO OF ME! FUCKING LET GO!!”, She screeches as she tries to throw her legs over the side of the boat. She is no match for William’s strength.

William’s face hardens, “Captain's orders, nothing is to happen to you”, he explains.

“ You won’t have a Captain to take orders from if you do nothing!!”, She cries.

“ We swore to Roman to protect you and that’s just what we’ll do”, says Rory. His eyes were filled with tears as he continued to push the oar in sync with Cortez.

Jane looked around in disbelief. It would seem that she was out of the loop on this agreement. She kept checking the water for signs of him. Signs that he would spring back up. Unfortunately there was a heavy fog that persisted across the entirety of the lake and the shore had disappeared behind it.

After five minutes there was no sign of him as the night fell quiet and the groans of the creatures were distant and far away. The group was completely silent, all looking ahead with solemn expressions. All she heard was the oars hitting the water and the sound of her heartbeat in her ears. An unimaginable wail spilled from her mouth so violently that she had to brace her hands on her knees. The panic and grief washed over her in unrelenting waves as she looked around in disbelief. She could not catch her breath. She could not hold in the pain and the betrayal of his sacrifice.

“ He– this cant... I can’t. —”, she hiccuped. She began to feel dizzy. William pressed both of his hands on her shoulders. Adhar looked at her with a worried expression.

“ Breath Jane…. ”

Williams' attempts at calming Jane were useless. It was a second. She was in his arms moments before this and now he was gone? She blinked and he was gone? She was trembling now. There was nothing she could do. There was nothing that would change this. She sobbed despite the kind words that the group tried to pacify her with. What followed was a numbing silence.

She had no interest in finding the treasure now. She never really cared about the treasure. She came along with Roman because she had fallen in love with him. This was Roman’s dream. This was Roman’s story and she was happily a supporting character in it. What could any of this mean? What was the point of her falling for this man all those months ago, just for fate to rip them apart? Why would life give her this sweetness to take it away? She knew this was too good to be true. She knew it was only a matter of time before everything that she had was ripped from underneath her.

For the next hour, she stared at the boots she wore. He bought them for her at a small port where they only spoke Spanish. He dazzled her with his fluency when he purchased them. He laced her shoes for her a few mornings ago before they left. She counted the laces over and over again. One by one. She decided that she must never take the shoes off especially when it was the last thing he had done for her. Within 20 minutes, they reached the other side of the island. She physically had to be removed from the boat. Adhar grabbed onto her protectively, guiding her to sit on a beached log just a few meters from the water.

The men began to set up camp. This is where they would sleep for the night. Rory made a Bonfire. William heated up some of the jarred food items. Cortez loaded the pistols. That night she sat in front of the bonfire thinking. Rory had taken her weapons. He explained that Roman had told him to do it in the event that he passed. The thought earned a bitter chuckle out of her.

She woke up before everyone else. She was all vinegar, nothing but bitterness wafted from her. Another day in this inescapable hell. She thought the rest of the men would be lucky if they got out of this place. The boat rocked against the pebbled shore causing a scraping sound that got her attention. The very least she could do was look for him. She couldn’t let his body stay here, she wouldn’t stand for that.

She took the paddle boat out before anyone could stop her. The fog was thick, too thick to see that far in front of her. It didn’t stop her from calling his name. She didn’t know why she called for him knowing she saw him go under and never come up. Somewhere in her heart she wanted to be wrong. She could not fully accept the truth. There was not a single sign of life in the water, it felt just as dead as the corpses that still snapped and growled along the other side of the shore. She watched them in disdain, wondering how she could torture something that was already long gone.

She eventually turned the boat around, deciding to make a full perimeter of the Lake instead of cutting directly across. There could be no inch unchecked or disregarded. She knew that if she returned to the shore without his body she would not make it through the night.

It began to rain heavily which made it harder to see or hear. She screamed his name into the rain, wondering how much the downpour drowned out her voice.

Nothing…just stillness and rain. She began to cry again as her eyes scanned the water. She gave up the boat to the movement of the current. The tears wracked her as if it had happened all over again. A large thud pulled her out of her hysteria because the force of it knocked her forward onto her knees. She scrambled onto her feet to see a Giant piece of driftwood. She steadied herself and carefully walked to the edge of the boat. She assessed the boat for any damage and just over the edge she saw swirls of raven colored hair. Then she saw light skin, a nose, a mouth, ears, a face. She dove into the water without question.

She felt cold skin, hard muscles, hair, lips. She grabbed his limp body into her arms and positioned her body underneath his.. She mustered up as much strength as she could, a strength that she didn't even know was physically possible for her own body. She pushed him onto the boat gradually, screaming against the boat with each push forward. Eventually, she got his legs over the boat and climbed into it. With trembling hands, she placed her palms on either side of him and really looked at him. His full lips were blue and he practically had no color left to his skin. There weren’t any scratches on him or bites. He succumbed to the current. She bit her lip to hold in another cry. She placed her hands on his neck and she stilled in surprise. A light pulse….just a single flutter every few seconds. She scrambled to open his mouth and slotted hers against his. She blew hard, pushing her air into his lungs before she pressed on his chest. She pushed as hard as she could and gave him another hard gust of her air.

“ Pllleeasseee”, she cried. She continued with chest compressions. Thirty seconds rolled onto a minute. Another 30 seconds passed and then two minutes. At five minutes she began to panic, moving frantically to hold his nose and force more air. Two more hard pumps to his chest and he begins to sputter water from his mouth. A gust of relief floods her and she begins to sob.

“Baby….my baby…”, she whimpered. She could barely recognize the tone of her own voice. His eyes fluttered open as he began to cough up water. She sat him up, patting his back harshly to help him push out the fluid. The coughing went on for a good minute as he weakly slouched into his own lap. She grabbed his face and pressed it to her own. His bloodshot eyes remained closed as he took in big gulps of air, almost as if they were his very first.

“ You were gone ...I lost you”, she wailed against his weak form. A fragile hand pressed itself to her cheek.

“I-I’m here–”, he choked before choking for more air. She rested her forehead on his watching the comforting rise and fall of his chest. A chest she slept on every night.

“ Don’t you ever… EVER do that again. Do you understand me?! ”, she spat. She grabbed his face, forcing him to focus his eyes on hers.

“ Do you hear me!?”, she cried frantically

“ Okay… Okay”, He whispered delicately. He lost his voice and it was barely audible but his nod confirmed it. He was shivering and soon the cold would take him if she couldn’t get him warm. She picked up the oars and began paddling as quickly as she could back to the shore.

“ Adhar !”, she called out as they closed into the pebble bank.

“ Rory! I need your help!”,She yelled.

The men come flying out of the tent followed by Cortez and William.

“What the fuck!?”,Adhar rushed for the pair, dropping his sword on the ground.

“ I came just in time. Please we have to get him warm. Start a fire in front of the tent. He’s very weak”, she stepped out of the boat and three of the men picked him up infirmary style and placed him inside of Jane’s tent. She sprung into action, peeling off his clothes.

“ What happened ?”, said Adhar.

“ I went looking for him. I went to find his body. I wouldn't leave him in this place dead or alive. The boat mashed into driftwood and I found him floating in front of it –sinking to the bottom. I think he overexerted himself and the current pulled him under”, Jane’s tone was rushed as she pulled off his boots, throwing them behind her. Next came his shirt, weapon belt, and pants.

Roman’s teeth began to chatter, “ Jane…” he groaned.

“ I’m here… I’m here honey we just have to get you dry or you’ll get worse”, she assured in a panicked tone.

A tinge of embarrassment crossed Adhars face as he made prolonged eye contact with Roman’s bloodshot eyes, “ I’ll step out, give the man some dignity.”

Jane peeled off Roman’s underwear and placed his wet clothes in a pile at the front of the tent. She found a cotton blanket and began to rub his body with it vigorously, turning him over to dry his back and limbs. She then wrapped him in all the blankets she could possibly find . She reopened the tent to let the heat from the fire waft inside. Roman sits up now, though still very weak, he looks more alert now. William hands Jane a broth made from the animal bones that they cooked the night before. She places the mug under Roman’s lips and periodically feeds him the soup base. He takes it willingly and quietly.

On the other side of the fire Rory, Adhar, Cortez, and William sat patiently until Roman was ready to speak. Roman, still slow reacting and fairly tired, finally cleared his horse throat.

“ I….appreciate you all for taking care of my Jane while I was …gone”, he says quietly.

“ Cap’n’s orders, remember. We wouldn’t have let anything harm Jane. She’s one of us”, Saiid Rory. Jane smiles sadly knowing what she was planning to do.

“ How did you survive ?”, asked Cortez.

“ Those things pulled me down. I was able to get away but it was so dark that I could barely see. I was swimming in circles all night. I’d completely lost my sense of direction. I kept hearing things. I suppose I succumbed to my own exhaustion. There was nothing to hold onto so that I could rest. There were times I had to tread water just to catch my breath. Eventually I was able to make out a large piece of wood that was floating a couple feet away. I assume there was a current in that space or at least a light current. HadI not been so exhausted, I would have probably been able to swim through it but it swallowed me. A couple mouthfuls of water and I was …comatose. Dead to the world as far I knew,” Roman looked at Jane. She was still very upset at the whole ordeal but was holding back the tears.

“ You are very fortunate. Amalanhig are vicious creatures and they are relentless. I have never seen one before. If they are here, it means they were murdered here. If they would have dragged you to the bottom they would have likely eaten on your flesh for days”, Cortez warns.

Jane speaks up. “ He had a light pulse…I was doing compressions on him for ages. I can’t believe he even survived ”.

“ Well…what matters now is that we are all together. We’re finishing this journey how it was meant to be finished—as a group. Roman is here to guide us once more –after a few days of rest I suppose?”, says William.

Jane nodded, leaning into his side, “ No question about it. He’s too fragile for travel and now he’s at risk for infection. I’ll have to nurse him for a few days”, She sighed.

Roman snorted with humor, “ I’d protest but you’re fortunate I like you as my nurse.” He wrapped a protective arm around her.

The group said their goodnights individually, all heading off to bed. They grabbed the blankets that Jane borrowed to keep Roman warm. Rory went last, walking around the campfire. He crouched down and placed a firm hand on Roman’s shoulder. Roman looked up at him comically, just waiting for Rory to say something absurd and funny as always. A necessity at a time like this.

“ Glad to have you back. Just wanted to say…You’re lucky I respect you so much, otherwise I’d be royally pissed about you getting your ball sweat on my

Blanket Cap’n. No offense”, Rory smirked. Roman wheezes out a hearty, crackly, raspy laugh and Rory follows with an even crispier one. Jane shakes her headand rolls her eyes at their boyish humor. Rory takes his leave for the night.

Then it was just the two of them sitting in front of the fire. Roman flexed his muscles stiffly, clearly still in pain from moving them for so long. “Are you ready to go to sleep?”

Roman grunts in agreement, scooting himself further into the tent. Jane closes the tent and pulls off her boots. Roman watches her from a lying position, enjoying the view of her after such a horrible night. She turns to him and notices that he’s pulled off his blanket and was stark naked now that they had privacy. She decides to strip down to her undergarments. The fire had made it warm now, maybe too warm. When she was ready he pulled her onto his chest.

“ Are you okay?”, she asks quietly in the dark.

“ I’m okay. Are you okay?”, he says.

“ Not until we’re safe”, she sighs. He doesn’t respond but instead squeezes her hand reassuringly.

Jane nuzzled her face into his neck. “ I wish we were back on the ship…Or at some port where we could get ale and really greasy food. The simple things are what I miss the most. I don’t want to be here anymore”.

“ I know”, he says gently.

A beat of silence passes. Jane becomes distracted at the feel of his strong heart beat. A rhythm that she memorized a while ago. She remembers how weak it felt just a few hours ago.“ Why did you tell them to go on without you?”

“ I just wanted you safe. They can’t do that if they’re worried about rescuing me. I can take care of myself. I have for a very long time”, he sighs. She can hear the exhaustion settling in but she couldn’t help but protest. She didn’t want to argue.

“ Do you understand how close I was to joining you this morning in the lake ? I agreed to be a part of this crew because I fell in love with you. As much as I care for all our friends—the loss of you–I– I ”, she became flustered. He was unflinching.

“ If you follow me in death then I have failed you Jane.”

She inhales sharply. She doesn’t argue now. She let the words marinate and bounce around her head.

“ I would have hoped that if nothing else, I have shown you why life is a gift. Not something you waste behind anybody. Or any man for that matter”, he speaks softly and disarmingly. That tone. That tone he always takes with her in disagreements. Gentle, stern, vulnerable. He even presses his mouth to the top of her hair.

“ You knew what I would do…”, she said.

“ I did. That’s why I asked them to take your weapons just in case. Looking ahead you’re set up to live without me. You’ve got a home, a job waiting for you. You’ve even got an admirer in Adhar if you're willing. He would be more than happy to protect you in my absence. He already has as far as I’m concerned. You are so much more than just me Jane…”, rubs the side of her cheek with his finger lovingly. He can feel the wetness on her face and swipes it away.

Her tone turns wobbly. “ The way you’re speaking right now…as if this was a suicide mission.”

“ It wasn’t…but there is always a backup plan. Yet, fate has decided that we have more to do together. I found you…you found me. Clever how the tables turn. I should be thanking you.”

Jane said nothing. She just sniffles, trying to stop her nose from running. She cried enough today.

“ I’m sorry that I scared you. I’m sorry it even happened Jane. Allow me to make it up—-

“ I don’t want you to make it up. I don’t want anything else. I just need to feel you…I-I need to make sure you’re really here”, she sighs. She presses her face against his and he wraps his arms around her waist firmly.

The two of them fell asleep in an embrace. She woke up in the same position, face pressed into his neck and his arms still holding her. In fact, the next two days were spent mostly inside of the tent. Roman needed sleep and rest. The ambush with the undead called for a new strategy. The day time was reserved for sleeping and the night time would be reserved for traveling.

They packed up camp and rolled up their tents at sunset and restarted their journey. Roman’s accident was a hard reset on just how mind bending the island was. There was no more paranoia or anger. The only thing that mattered now was survival which outweighed the need for the treasure.

That same night of travel they evaluated Roman’s map. They had a full day of travel left which would be broken up in two nights. They would walk until dawn. Jane held onto Roman’s arm, happy with being the last two in the end of the line. She couldn't help but to keep glancing at him periodically to see if he was still himself. He was moving slower than usual and she knew that she was not completely healed from the event. On the fourth glance he caught her and smiled, placing his hand over her own.

“ Listen up you Ingrates”, he called out in a joking manner.

The group paused, giving him their full attention. He held up the map in his hand.

“ This map has an illustration on it suggesting that we are approaching the territory of hostile animals. All weapons should be loaded and ready for fire”, he warned

A slew of curses rolls throughout the group.

“ What Kind of animal ?”, Asks cortez.

“ I am not sure. It’s just an illustration of animal teeth with large canines. My bet is on some kind of large cat with how tropical the area is. It is imperative that all guns are loaded now. Be ready to run if need be. Jane you’re in the middle”, he speaks with an authoritative tone. Jane’s face drops in disappointment.

Jane rolls her eyes. “ You are playing the martyr again?”

“ Jane…. Please”, Roman sighs tiredly.

“ This is bullshit”, she scoffs.

“ Jane, you forget your necklace makes you a hot commodity. These creatures will likely go for you first. Why not make it harder for them?”, says Adhar.

She says nothing as she walks to the middle of the line. She tucks her necklace into her shirt and folds her arms. “ Alright, Let’s get this over with”.

The terrain turned into a dense, wet, thick jungle. Cortez had to cut through it with a machete. The landscape is slanted uphill and much more slippery. The sounds of birds chirping and squawking during the night was alarming, as this was usually an early morning to mid day occurrence. Large snakes slithered up trees in bright colors. Jane was not a fan of this as she was incredibly fearful of them. Spiders and scorpions darted out of the group's path. She frequently jumped from the feeling of plants touching her arms.

After 30 minutes of walking something cries out similar to the sound of a weeping man. The group stops, looking around in pure shock. Was someone stranded here? A Moorner perhaps? Another voice speaks Mandarin Chinese and a third speaks Portuguese. Women call out for help and screams yell out in agony. The panicked voices close in but they cannot be seen. Guns rise in the defense. The group forms a circle around Jane, looking for the threat.

“ HELPPPP MEEEE!!!”, A Woman screams.. The sound is so close it causes Jane to flinch and cover her head. She looks up and she can finally see it. Elongated canines the length of her hands, grey fur, stark yellow eyes, a muscular body measuring around 4 - 5 feet. It was a baboon dangling from a vine, but not just any baboon. This was the largest primate that shes ever seen. She didn’t know that baboons could even become so large. The animals stare at her, puffing thick clouds of foggy air into her face threateningly. A low rumble vibrated deep within its chest.

“ Jane…..do not…..move…. A muscle”, William says quietly.

“ We’re gonna take this niceeeee and slow…”, Roman walks up behind Jane, joining her in the circle. William is stationed behind the beast, pointing his gun for a headshot.

The creature begins to howl and hoot, getting progressively louder and louder directly in her face. Cortez, Rory, and Adhar covered the front, back, and side.

The primate opens it’s mouth. “ SHOOT THEM!!!”, a sound falls from the monkey's mouth like a puppet. It frightened her hearing what seemingly was the last words of someone who died by it’s hands.

The monkey drew closer “, NOOO!!”, it hissed. Jane flinched and the baboon dove for her. William opened fire into the back of its head. Roman pulled Jane backwards. Gunpowder flies as Jane dropped down and covered her head. Groups of Baboons screamed from the trees as sets of them set out to attack the group. Roman is back to back with jane as they shoot for the vital organs. With a swipe and tug of her left leg, Jane is knocked off her feet. She falls on her stomach dropping her weapon along the way.

“ AHHH!!”, Jane claws at the ground trying to gain leverage. Teeth poke the bottom of her ankle and she tenses waiting for the pain. Roman dives for the beast and begins to stomp it with the bottom of his shoe, before kicking it directly in the face. It stumbles back and Roman shoots it dead. Adhar screams in the distance as one of the creatures clamps onto his arm. William takes the back of his gun and slams it into the temple of the beast.

“ We have to make a run for it. We’re running out of ammunition!”, Cortez yelled over the noise. Jane grabs Adhar and rips a piece of his shirt off to wrap around his forearm.

“ Everybody run to higher ground!”,Roman bellowed over the sound of his gun.

The group took off uphill. The creatures were tailing them but the gunshots disrupted them enough to scare some of them off. Jane became worried for Adhar who was bleeding profusely and running made it worse. In the distance they saw the opening to what they assumed held the treasure. It was carved into the side of a rocky black mountain with an opening similar to a giant mouth. The entrance was lit up with torches of fire and that gave the crew an extra push for the last hundred meters. Cortez quickly grabbed two of the torches, throwing one to Roman and waving it towards the screaming primates. The fire was the only thing that pushed them back. After another five minutes of Cortez and Roman on defense, the monkeys finally fall back and return to the trees.

The cave was dark, damp, rocky, and unwelcoming. Droplets of water and the sound of shuffling feet reverberated all around them. Adhar was in pain and his hisses of discomfort popped and echoed against the walls.

“ Break”, Adhar called out. There was a much needed regroup after such a violent encounter. He slid down the wall and sat on his bum. Jane unwrapped his coverings and poured some of her water over the deep puncture wounds.

“ He will need stitches. It could begin to fester well before we reach the shore again ”, Jane stressed.

“ I know some herbs that will help”, Said Roman.

“ A poultice ?”, she confirms.

Roman nods. “ Ay”

“ I’ll be okay ”, Adhar reassured. Jane wasn’t convinced but the sooner they got to the treasure the better.

Everyone drank water and did a recount on their supplies. Cortez stayed behind with Adhar near the cave entrance. Roman, Jane, William, and Rory decided to keep going.

“ I hope this isn’t some trick or some dead end”, Jane sighed.

“ I don’t think so, look “, Rory pointed to the walls lit up by the fire. The walls of the cave were glittering with speckles of something. Jane stepped closer and her eyes widened. Gold ?

From the floor to the ceiling the deeper they walked, the more intense the specks of gold, silver, blue, greens, red, oranges and pinks became. Gemstones and Gold were etched in silver. A vibration on her chest made her clutch her key that was now glowing and warm.

They jogged down the entrance now, winded and anxious. Pretty soon the sounds of their feet touching the ground was interrupted by the crunch of them walking on rubies, diamonds, gold, silver. Minutes later they were knee deep in their riches. Every part of the cave was covered. Gold cups, necklaces, whole diamonds like the size of a clenched fist. And to think she imagined this reveal being more dramatic. Now the silence seemed louder than words. Pure shock. Pure disbelief. And then their shock came to a head. There it sat in all its glory. The treasure room that could put the British empire to shame. In the middle of the room sat a large chest. Jane’s key nearly floated off her neck.

“ This is it….I can’t believe it”, Jane scoffed. She glanced at Roman and he looked beside himself. She holds her hand out to him and he walks up beside her.

He chuckled. “ Well, it’s your key. Open it”, he urged.

Jane bit her lip in anticipation and stepped forward, positioning her key right over the keyhole.

“ Well this was not what I was expecting”, A deep, thunderous, incredibly raspy, feminine voice called out. Jane jumped back from the chest. The men stood with their weapons ready. Was this an ambush? A trap? What would it be this time?

“ And here I thought our introduction would be warmer. After all,you’re standing in my horde. Where are your manners? ”, The voice chuckled.

“ What is this place?!’, said Jane.

“ Your final test of course Don’t tell me you thought I would make it easy for you all? No, no. I had to truly be sure.”

“ This place. This island “, Jane emphasized.

“ This place is where all men go to die. The unworthy ones at least –which happens to be all”.

Fear grew and prickled along Jane’s skin. “ Will you let us have this treasure ?”

“ Not before your final test….”, the beast hissed.

Jane looked around cautiously. “ Okay…..”

“ Open the chest …”, the beast taunted.

Jane bent down slowly to her knees and grabbed her key. Carefully, she pushed the key into the lock and twisted it until she heard a click. Placing her hands on either side of the trunk, she lifted the lid to reveal a large crystal. It was red with an iridescent glow of several other colors that fragmented and twinkled under the light of the torches. It was shiny, glowing, and one of the most beautiful stones she’d ever seen. She cupped her hands and held it In her palms. With a closer view she could see a fleshy material on the inside that was beating like a heart.

“ And now your final test. The treasure from my horde and two wishes or…”, The beast trailed off . A pregnant pause fills the room.

Blackness fills her vision and suddenly she’s in front of two palm trees and sand is pooling between each of her toes. She looks out on the horizon and a woman in a long skirt, cotton shirt, and no shoes runs behind a toddler. Her hair is covered by a scarf that almost sits like a crown around the perimeter of her head. In the distance the child runs to a tall and lanky man who’s dipping his toes in the water. He’s wearing long cotton shorts that he rolled up to his calf and no shirt. His hair is cut short to his head. He picks up the toddler running to him and throws her in the air before catching her again. The woman joins them both and they kiss the toddler on either side of her face before heading towards Jane. They walk past her to the tiny houses that littered the shore. This woman was Jane’s mother and beside her was her Father.

“ M-Mom”, she calls out. The woman looks back curiously but her eyes never meet her daughters.

“ Mom”, she calls out in disbelief. The woman turns around and continues walking with her small family.

Jane follows them inside of their home. To her left sits an older man in his late 40’s smoking a pipe and drinking tea. He’s holding the toddler now, who’s tugging on his chin hair. He smiles fondly at the little girl with a heart aching reverence and adoration. The woman–her mother, begins to cook and her husband sits next to the older man. Jane’s grandfather who taught her how to read.

Then suddenly all four of them disappear and Jane’s mother reappears, gracefully older with her hair longer. Tiny streaks of gray peak through her hairline. It’s coily and long like her own and she can see herself in her mother more than ever before.

“ Mother, I’m heading out now”, A young teenage Jane walks out of her room and kisses her mother on her cheek.

“ Okay, enjoy yourself. Be back here by sunset. Tell your friend he’s welcome to join for dinner”, Her mother calls out. Young Jane looks like every possibility, every hope, every daydream, every unbroken thing. She is better…she’s happier. The young Jane joins a young man out on the porch and they walk to the market to meet friends.

“ Jane Ramlal. I offer you a life apart from the one you’ve come to know. A life without the pain, the loss, the fear, the suffering. I offer you parents and grandparents who never succumb to disease. A family intact. A young love that comes easy. I offer you friends who you grow old with. I offer you an ancestral home that is strong and standing. I offer you comfortability. Not a rich comfortability but just enough to be satisfied. I offer you a life outside of England.”

“ And if I accept?”, she asks carefully.

“ Roman is still a pirate on the Black pearl. You never meet. You never make it to this place. All for the small price of the life you were supposed to live. No harm comes to your friends but it is a life apart”, the dragon speaks in a conniving tone.

She goes back to the house and sees her mother sitting on the porch with her father and grandfather. They talk freely, cursing to the wind without a care. They all look so beautiful. She would be crazy not to accept this offer. She reaches her hand out to her mothers cheek and for a moment she can almost feel the heat of it. Her grandfather blows Tobacco in the air. Now she remembers why she liked the smell of Roman’s smoke. It reminded her of him.

With a long sigh she pulls away “ I…decline”, says Jane.

There is a long pause and for a moment she believes she’s trapped in this reality. Invisible.

“ May I ask…why”, the beats asked in a curious tone.

“ I wouldn't change who I am. I’m proud..of who I am. Without the pain of my life…I could not savor the sweetness that I know now. And I can’t…leave him. No matter how much I want this. I want him…more”, she whispers.

And with those words the facade falls away into Gold. Tears rim her eyes and she looks for Roman in a panic. Almost as if those minutes away from him would cause him to disappear forever. She sighs in relief when their eyes meet.

“ Clever girl. There are many men who would fall victim to their deepest desire. You’ve surprised me and that is difficult to do. I am in a good mood. For this I grant you four wishes and as much gold you all can carry”, The dragon chuckles. The stone turns to coins in her hands.

The room rumbles in laughter and cheer as bodies swarm Jane. Rory lifts onto his shoulders. Cortez and Adhar race further into the cave with shocked faces. They cheer for her. Roman is beside himself. This was it. It was over….it was finally over. They were rich. But most importantly they were alive. They could go home..or find home..

“ Rory put me down”, Jane laughed. He set her down on her feet and placed a fat wet kiss on the back of her hand.

Roman rolls his eyes “Watch it”, he hissed. Rory blows him a kiss and dives into coins like a warm summer lake. Roman pulls Jane into his chest and she wraps her arms around him. His mouth meets hers and she sighs from his touch.

“ What did you see?”, he whispers.

“ I’ll tell you later”, she says with another peck against his lips. He kisses her forehead, cradling her head against his hand.

“ Dragon… errr–miss”, Jane called out.

“ Yes”, the creature sighed with annoyance.

“ Can I cash in my wishes at any time ?”

“ If you must”, the creature said flippantly. Jane smiled at that.

“ My first wish. I wish for an elixir that cures any illness or affliction that refills itself every time it’s empty”, said Jane.

“ At once”, says the dragon. A bottle appears in her hand filled with a brown liquid and a dropper.

“ Adhar”, she calls over to him. He obliged her.

“ You- you didn’t have to waste your wish on me. Really. I would have been fine”, he stutters. There’s a flustered urgency in his tone.

“ We have to look out for each other. No matter what. It would be a shame if you got sick and died before you could go and spend your money “, she smirked. Jane places a few drops of the liquid onto his wound before wrapping it again. “ Better ?”

“ Ay…though it’s a bit itchy”, he says.

“ Means it’s healing”, Said Roman.

“ For my second wish, I wish for a device that will repel any evil creature or entity, land or sea, away from myself and the Entire crew in this cave which includes every member of the ship on the beach to ensure our safe travels”, she commands.

“ ……….Done”, says the Dragon. A talisman appears in her palm, a gray stone that’s tumbled smooth. It has some sort of protective marking on it. She closed it around her fist and put it into her pocket.

“ Why don’t we all collect what we can. We can talk about the last two wishes with the group?”, she says to the men. They all agree and begin dumping handfuls of the treasure into the chest that held the dragon stone.

Not only did they fill the chest, they filled other containers. Flasks. Buckets, their own chests, whatever they could find. By the time they left the cave the sun was shining over the trees.

They were expecting a long journey back to the beach but once they passed the treeline, they stepped out onto the sand. Dazed and confused, Jane looks back to see that they’d only traveled a couple hundred feet in the last 4 days.

“ I won’t even question it. Not the worst shit we’ve been through these past few days”, said Adhar. Everyone agreed.

A celebration that commenced the minute the rest of the pirates took notice of the six of them. That night a bonfire was made as Rory retold the dramatic and mind bending story of their journey. Jane sat in Roman’s lap laughing along with Rory’s impression of the Baboon that tackled him. Tonight there was a comfortable breeze. The perfect weather to sleep under the stars. Jane feels eyes on her and she lets them simmer onto her skin.

Roman leaned forward and kissed the side of her neck to get her attention . “ Are you going to tell me what you saw now ?”, he asks quietly. With everyone so distracted there was no better time.

Jane sighed and pressed her forehead to his. “ I was given the choice to go back to Trinidad and essentially live a fairytale. No one ever dies, I never go to London. Everyone would be happy. The catch was that we would never meet. You’d be a pirate and I’d be..far far away.”

“ Why didn’t you choose it?”, he asks curiously. He knew the answer but Roman felt that there could be more to her reasoning. It was hard to believe it was just himself.

She shrugs. “ Besides not wanting to leave you. Who says my life isn’t a fairytale ? And if it’s not already..why can’t it become one..one day?”, she asks him.

“ If I was a better man I would say that you should have chosen the story that would leave you unscathed. The story where life would have been easier.”

“ I am only looking forward now. There’s no need to look back anymore.”

A group vote determined what the third wish would be. The crew was most agreeable considering that everyone had their own treasure. Therefore, the third wish would be a large comfortable ship that was fully stocked with enough food and water to last them the entire journey back to the West.

The next day they set sail black to Europe. The crew celebrated that night and everyone was in good spirits with the promise of a good future ahead of them all. Pete the parrot was even in his cage as he had been before. Many talked about reuniting with loved ones, settling down, investing, marrying. Adhar had plans to go back to India at the end of the year and win back his lost love and give back to his community. Rory was a pirate through and through and wanted to continue sailing and seeing the world. Cortez wanted to visit his family but his heart belonged to the sea. William planned on figuring out the next steps with his wife and investing in her regardless of her decision to stay or go. Caden wanted to be a pirate and someday ..a Captain.

Jane and Roman sat on the wind deck away from the festivities. They talked for hours about all the exciting things that some of the other members wanted to do with their new freedom.

“ Everybody has this elaborate plan on what they’ll do and who they’ll become now. What will you do next ?”, she asked curiously.

Roman smirks. “ I of course would love to keep traveling and seeing the world. There’s much to be seen, wouldn’t you agree ?”, he asks.

Jane shrugged, “ Much indeed. Will you be keeping the ship?”

“ I’m not sure. I think…I may be ready for a break.”

“ A- A break?”, she stuttered.

“ Yes…this journey allowed room for introspection. Being a pirate is not always pretty. In fact, I only just recently allowed in the beautiful parts of life since I’ve met you.”

“ What are you saying Roman”, Jane grinned.

Roman chuckled. “ I think that you and I deserve a vacation. We also deserve to take that vacation for however long we so choose. Or it can be permanent. I am unmoved with either option.”

“ You wish to be on land for a while ?”, Jane’s brows raise in suspicion.

“ I do…the land of Paris to be exact. There is someone that I would like you to meet.”

“ Who ?”, she asked.

“ Someone a lot like me. I think Paris will be good for the senses.”

“ The senses you say? What aren’t you saying”, Jane squinted.

“ Just trust me”, Roman took another playful swig of ale.

“ Okay…well if you think this will be good. And if you think it is safe then I have no reason to protest. My only worry is my warrant.”

“ I will get that squared away with the courts as soon as we enter Europe.”

“ Fine… there is one other thing however”, Jane perked up. Roman looked back at her with his full attention.

“ What will I do with the last wish? I should let the crew decide, right?”

Roman pulled her back into his chest and rested his head on top of hers, engulfing her in his embrace. He bends down and presses his mouth just above her ear.

“ You spend that wish on whatever your heart desires. It is yours alone..”

End of chapter.

————

Authors note :

What do you think Jane’s final wish should be ?

[transingthoseformers]

Frick it, Merformers au idea

Optimus is a new mer researcher, and recently he saw reports of a particularly large mer seen swimming far out in the ocean and he overhears some poachers planning to capture it, and in good conscience he can't let it happen.

So he sneaks aboard their ship to try to sabatoge them, but at night when out in sea he's caught, and he brought to his knees front the leader on the deck for him to decide what happens to him. Then in the icy water, they see a red biolumincient pattern glow, the poachers ready their nets and harpoons, the leader tells one fo them to just kill Optimus, one them ready his gun, Optimus shuts his eyes and waits for the shot, but it never comes, he open his eyes to the Mer, with his teeth deep in the poachers throat. the poacher loosen his grip on the gun and the Mer let's go of throat, then the poacher falls to the ground, dead.

Then hell breaks loose.

Optimus scoots away as the great Mer tears into the poachers, blood splatters everywhere as heads and limbs get rip and torn, the leader is the last one standing he tries to shoot the Mer, but the Mer plunges his hand deep into his chest out the other side, the just as fast pulls it out as the leader also falls dead.

Optimus is terrified at this point and is frozen in place, what could he do? This Mer just tore through all the poacher, and he's on a boat in the middle of the ocean there's no where to run. The Mer moves slowly toward him, getting infornt of his face, and just stares into his eyes. Optimus gets a good look at him, his face luminated be the glowing red patterns on his face, his eyes are the same color of red. then the Mer leans to Optimus ear and whispers something, then Optimus blacks out.

When he wakes up he's in the hospital, doctors swarm him, doing tests and asking questions, but he doesn't pay attention to them as he thinks, at night looks up at the ceiling as thinks about what the Mer whispered to him.

Megatron.

Megatron, it must be his name, what else could it be?

He turns to the side and closes his eyes, he is still new to the field, and there's alot he doesn't know, but he knows one thing.

The Mer, Megatron, saved his life.

Bloody but YES

Win Megatron

This supposed to be Megop? I hope it is

Optimus survived something not many would

[maiiuelle]

ok ok i have an idea so jj x mermaid reader but they've met on many strange occasions. so the first time that jj meets mermaid reader is when he almost drowns, and she saves him from the gators. the second time?? it's up to you <3

ohh i love this!! mermaid!reader is super curious, so i can totally imagine her going off on her own to explore the marsh. the gators would probably lead her to where jj is floating in the weeds, but luckily she’s able to coax them away with a few hand-caught fish so she can drag the boy to safety.

she’d never seen a human up close before, so she’s understandably a little terrified. she checks his teeth and stays alert, worried for once that maybe the stories you’d been told were true. unfortunately, their time together is fleeting, he starts to wake up as the rumble of a boat draws closer, and the sound of people shouting in the distance leaves only enough time for a moment of eye contact before she slinks back into the water, leaving the blonde where he’s laying in the cattails. his friends find him no problem, and he has no recollection of how he ended up there.

i think they officially meet when the pogues begin their search for the royal merchant out in the deep ocean. maybe she shows up on their underwater camera? or maybe she only reveals herself to jj, feeling safer with him after seeing for herself that at least he’s not dangerous. i love the idea of them accidentally meeting a few times before that though, and i reaaally want to dedicate a whole fic to them meeting for the first time <3

[alloftheimaginesblog]

almost lost you {s.h}

Plot: You're Steve Harrington's best friend so of course you're going to follow him into the depths of the lake and into the Upside Down. He's pissed that you've risked your life for him but when he sees that you're injured, your relationship shifts.

Character: Steve Harrington x Plus Size Female Reader

Warnings; MDNI, 18+, SMUT, NSFW, blood, wounds, gore, sex, soft sex

Word count: 11.6k

this is my favourite thing i've ever written

Of course you'd followed him down here, of course you weren't just going to leave your best friend to drown and/or be taken to the Upside Down and be killed. You were never a strong swimmer but you'd be damned if you weren't going to save that stupid boy. Reacting on blind adrenaline, you abandon your jacket in the boat, grab an oar and then you dive into the lake.

The water is freezing, prickling your skin like needles, but you barely register it. You have to get to him. It's a lot deeper than you expected and by the time you reach the red, glowing gate your lungs burn for sweet oxygen. Grimacing, your hand reaches out, pushing through the fleshy gate before you push your entire self through and all you can think in that moment is that you hope there's no more swimming involved.

Your back hits cold hard ground as you lay there gasping for air, thankfully no more water. You'd landed on concrete. It doesn't take long before you jump up, dripping wet and undeniably in the Upside Down, and start hitting everything in sight. They were like bats with big wings and long tails and they swarm you. You whack them with everything you have before they break away and then you see Steve a few metres away. He's being choked, strangled by one of the bat's tails, arms and legs flailing to find something to get it off of him. You spring into action, barrelling over to the bat and hitting with all of the strength you could muster. Bats swarm and attack you with teeth like razors slicing into your skin but you couldn't care about that now. You have to help Steve. With a final thwack! the bat that had been strangling him dropped down, releasing Steve's neck. It lay on the ground, twitching and making a faint screeching noise so you whack it a few more times making sure it's finally dead before dropping to Steve, "Are you okay?!"

"I told you not to follow me!" His voice is a croaky yell as he pants hard, "You shouldn't be in here! Not you!"

"You think I'm not going to follow you into the depths of hell? Oh, Harrington, we're too far into this friendship for that. I'd follow you to Mordor." He rolls his eyes at your Lord of the Rings reference, far too used to you and your nerdy comments.

"It's too dangerous-" he cuts himself off, realising that blood dribbles from various cuts on your arms, "You're bleeding."

"I'm fine," you tell him strongly and honestly you do feel fine. The adrenaline is coursing around your body and right now, you don't feel any of the wounds, "I'm fine. They're just scratches." He accepts this, leaning back to take deep breaths as the rest of your friends appear each more horrified than the last (Eddie's last to come and judging by his scream of 'what the fucking shit is this?!' you can tell he's pretty freaked), "Can you stand?"

He nods and with your outstretched hand, you help him up. Once he's up, he looks around, "You all came down?"

Eddie runs his hands through his wild curls, "Dude, they all came down and I didn't want to be the only one not here."

The five of you look around. It's terrifying down here. The whole place looks familiar but it just feels off; uncanny valley or whatever they call it. It looks like Hawkins but an evil version of it. The sky crackles above you, lightning and thunder casting an eerie red glow over the Upside Down town. You look to the ground and see that the tendrils, the long fleshy veins, are everywhere.

"Be careful where you step," Nancy says, "it's a hivemind so it's all connected. You step on it, it knows we're here." Everyone knows it's more so pointed at Robin who can never seem to keep her balance even when standing perfectly still.

Robin nods, "I can do that," she murmurs to herself as the five of you begin to walk in the direction of the Creel House. You don't know who she's trying to convince more; the four of you or herself.

There's an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Steve's shoulder brushes yours and you immediately feel the dread die down for a moment. You breathe in a deep breath and puff out your chest as you continue walking.

As the lot of you tread through the Upside Down, you begin to feel slightly hazy, just around the edges at first as though you've just woken up and you're trying to shake off the tired and then it wrapped you up all at once. One minute you're beside him and the next, you've dropped to the floor, eyes rolling. Steve yells out, alerting his friends, as he falls beside you, hands on your cheeks. He's shouting your name, shaking you when he realises that your jeans at the thigh are dark and wet... you're bleeding. He pulls back the fabric and sees a large bite wound. He'd known you'd gotten scratched but you'd told him it was fine, not sore and not deep. He mentally curses you.

"I can help," Nancy says quickly as she rips her shirt, pulling a thick part of fabric off, "Move out the way and I'll bandage her leg."

Steve shakes his head, "I have to do it." He can't lose you; he has to be the one who saves you. He has to be the one to do it. He keeps talking to you, asking if you can hear him but you're not waking up. Panic surges inside of him, heart beating quicker as he stares down at you. Why aren't you waking up?

His hands are clumsy and shaking as Nancy hands him the piece of fabric from her now ripped shirt. Four years into this and they'd still never thought to bring a first aid kit wherever they went. The ripped cloth of the t-shirt would have to do and once tied tight, it would at least apply pressure and hopefully stop the bleeding. Steve's eyes dart to your face, scanning your face to see if you're awake. He's talking to you the whole time, panicked and adrenaline fuelled sentences that he doesn't remember.

"You gotta open your eyes, (y/n). Show me those pretty eyes."

"You think I'm really worth all this fuss?"

"You just had to follow me in here, didn't you?"

"I need you to open your eyes and speak to me, (y/n). I need to know that you're okay. Please."

"Please don't leave me."

You can hear him but it's all fuzzy. It sounds like you're underwater, he sounds far away. It feels peaceful but you fight and you fight hard. It takes every bit of strength you have to open your eyelids which feel like they're weighted down, it's brief but it's good enough. He breathes a sigh of relief as he sees your eyes fluttering, you're alive but you're slipping in and out of consciousness, world feeling hazy as you lay on the ground.

"Hey," he says, voice loud enough to wake you up but quiet enough that the rest of the group wouldn't hear, "you gotta keep those pretty eyes open for me, (y/n)."

You blink up at him, wiggling your fingers as the sensations of your body flood back to you, the pain floods back hitting hard and making you groan out. Steve asks if you're okay and all you can respond with is, "M'awake."

"Keep it that way." He holds up the makeshift bandage, "This is gonna hurt."

You're all banged up, covered in cuts scrapes and bites but the bite on your leg is the worst. Between the two of you, you're able to peel back the ripped jeans on your thigh to expose the bleeding wound. Steve grimaces, "That good, huh?" He doesn't respond and instead pulls the fabric around your leg tightly. You wince, hissing out in pain but you let him continue as he tries his hardest to be gentle by wrapping it tightly around your thigh before tying it tight. The pain from your wound is forcing you to be awake and conscious, sending streams of curse words out of your mouth. It hurts and it hurts bad, it burns and stings with every movement. Your whole body wants to sleep but the wound pulsing under the bandage won't let you and you're thankful for it. One of his hands is on your arm, never wanting to part with you, and all he can do is watch as you breathe hard, teeth grit, as you manage to sit up.

"Motherfucker," you hiss, "that hurts worse than that time I catapulted off the wall up behind Benny's and landed on that rock."

Despite everything, he manages a small smile and a breath of laughter, "Your mom never forgave me for that one even though it was your idea." He glances down at your leg, looking at the bloodied cloth, "That should hopefully stop the bleeding."

Nancy glances into the sky and realises that the bats are coming back and there are hoards of them this time, "Uh, guys?" She asks, voice tense.

Steve looks over at her and then follows her gaze upwards. Fuck. You do it too and you know that there's no time. You have to move. All you want to do right now is curl into a ball in bed - in Steve's bed - like that one time when you drunk and you fell asleep wrapped up together cause that's just what friends do, right?

"I'm okay," you tell him nodding and just like Robin not long ago, you don't know who you're trying to convince more, "just... help me up will you?"

Steve's strong hands pull you up and immediately wrap you in a tight hug, "Don't ever do that to me again," he huffs breath tickling your neck, "I thought I was about to lose you."

"You can't get rid of me that easy, Harrington." You thought that joking would help the situation but no, if anything it made him worse. He's shaking; absolutely terrified from the ordeal of thinking he'd lost you. He pulled back, heart hammering in his chest, as he stares down at his hands that are smeared with your blood. His eyes are glassy and he looks like he's about to cry. You take a breath, taking his hands in yours, "Hey," you whisper, forcing his attention away from his hands and to you instead, "I'm here, okay? I'm alright; bruised and bloodied but I'm alive, Steve, okay?"

"I can't lose you." It's an admission of some sort, not a full blown 'I love you' but it's pretty damn close. It makes your heart race and all you can do is hug him again, pulling him in tight. For a moment, just a moment, everything faded away around the two of you and you could close your eyes and pretend that everything's okay.

The moment's over all too soon when Nancy clears her throat from up ahead. You look over to her and she gives you an apologetic smile. It's time to go.

"Out of the frying pan," you say, taking Steve's hand tightly.

"And into the fire."

Walking isn't an easy task, you're slow and unsteady and with every step, you want to yell out in pain. Steve stays at your side, supporting you as much as he can, "I could carry you, you know... At the very least just a piggy back ride." You're holding everyone up and there's not enough time to let you go at your own pace, you have to move quicker but each time you try, the pain burns stronger.

Quickly, you shake your head, "Over my dead body."

"Yeah, well it might have to be if you're walking this damn slow," he snaps half serious, "Seriously, (y/n), let me lift you."

You push back from him. It's been years since someone picked you up, last time someone did they commented on how heavy you were and how you should think about losing some weight. You were humiliated that day so never again. You had a complicated relationship with your body, in some things you really liked the way your body filled out clothes, in other aspects you hated it. It wasn't a secret that you were fat, people had eyes and they could see it obviously, but it's like when your friend has a very obvious massive red spot on their face - you see it but you just don't speak about it. You don't voice things that could very well be an insecurity for some people.

"Steve, I- I'm too heavy." You feel pathetic as you say it and you can't look at him. You hate that you still have these worries and insecurities but after years of society telling you how you should look of course it had an impact on you.

Steve stops.

He ducks his head to look at you with sad eyes. He hates that you're ashamed of yourself in this way when in his eyes you're absolutely perfect. "Let me help you, (y/n), please," he says quietly so the others don't hear, "You won't hurt me, you're not too heavy, I'm strong and I can get us there faster... It'll help your leg, it'll let you rest it even for a while."

"You're not going to... to laugh at me for how heavy I am?"

Something bubbles up inside him in that moment and all he wants to do is wrap you up and keep you away from all the bad things in life. My god, he wants to kiss those insecurities away, make you realise that you're the prettiest goddamn girl in the world. No one comes close. He shakes his head, strands of his perfect hair falling out of place, and he takes one of your hands, "I'd never do that. You're not going to be heavy for me just let me help you."

If it had to be someone, you would've picked Steve so with a sigh, you relent and he crouches so that you can jump onto his back. You almost forget about the pain in your leg as the nerves burn hard in the pit of your stomach. He lifts you with a surprising amount of ease, jumping to readjust you so that his hand isn't anywhere near your injured leg, "Comfy?" He asks as he starts walking.

"If I'm too heavy you can just put me down, it's okay. I'll walk faster, you don't have to-"

"(y/n)," he cuts over your rambling, "I've got you, don't worry. Just take a breath and chill out for a bit." He begins to walk and catches up with the group on their path to the Creel House. Nancy and Robin glance at you both before catching the other's eye and giving the other a knowing smile.

You bury your head in the crook of Steve's neck, breathing long and deep. Steve can't think straight. All he can focus on is the way your breath is hot against his cool skin and the way your lips gently graze his neck with every step. The feelings that he thought he'd buried down long ago burn violently under the surface. Dustin would be screaming 'I told you so' if he was here right now. For years Dustin had been trying to get Steve to realise the true nature of his feelings for you and finally, fucking finally, it was happening. He shakes his head, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart when your lips graze his skin, and instead he tries to focus on the task at hand.

Everything's over, it's done... at least for now.

You manage to get back to Steve's house in one piece, the five of you traumatised and dirty. Steve's house was empty as usual, his parents both working out of state, so the five of you crowded in Steve's car, Steve driving and you in the passenger seat with his hand in yours. The five of you cram into Steve's car, bloodied and bruised and knackered but you're all alive. Steve drives through Hawkins but his focus is entirely on you. Since your injuries, he hadn't stopped touching you; holding your hand, arms wrapped around you... He had to keep touching you, had to keep reminding himself that you were okay. Every now and then, his thumb brushes over the bloodied skin of your hand. Dustin, Lucas and Max had radioed a while back to say that they got home okay, they'd nearly been caught by police but managed to escape so it was just a straight drive to Steve's. It felt strange being back in Hawkins. You hadn't been away for too long in the Upside Down but returning as though life was normal was a weird one. Things weren't normal; things were pretty fucking strange.

As the five of you enter Steve's house, Nancy darts off to the phone. She'll be trying to get a hold of Jonathan. Eddie asks if Steve's got any beer, Steve points him in the direction of the kitchen and Robin follows in search for food.

It's just you and Steve standing in the hallway.

"How's your leg?" He asks you.

"Fucking killer," you frown, looking down at the bloodied state of your jeans. You hadn't realised just how much you'd bled with being in the tinted red Upside Down since it was kind of hard to see but now it was a stark contrast against your light blue jeans even in the darkness of the night.

"You wanna go shower first?"

You nod quickly. The thought of a shower appeals to you, being able to wash off the dirt, grime and blood and getting to properly clean your wound, oh it sounds like bliss. The only thing that halts you - as you attempt to very slowly climb the stairs - is that Steve obviously won't be in there with you. For the entirety of the night, since jumping into the lake and heading into the Upside Down, Steve had been by your side, constantly touching you in some way, and now... you weren't ready for that to stop. Things had changed, things that you weren't sure you could keep a secret for much longer, and you weren't ready to be apart from him, not yet; not ever.

You glance back at him and he seems to know what you're thinking. He can tell by the panicked look in your eye and he quickly nods and says, "I'll be right outside the door, I promise."

He helps you as much as he can upstairs, holding you up while you hiss and curse in agony as pains shoot up your leg, and helps you into his bedroom. He raids his closet and finds an old jersey of his, it's big and baggy and it'll definitely fit you, before he grabs a pair of stretchy gym shorts from his closet, "Here," he says as he hands you it, "change into these and we'll wash your clothes. We'll get everyone's stuff washed actually."

You're quiet as you nod and pad slowly back to the bathroom, Steve behind you. He slides down the wall, sitting on the floor just to the left of the bathroom door, "I'll wait here, take as long as you need." You're hesitant to leave him but you know that there's no way around this so you thank him and close the door behind you. As soon as you're in the bathroom, you want to turn back and find comfort in his arms but you force yourself to move forwards towards the shower. You have no other choice but to shower, you need to get cleaned up and you'd already prolonged that for long enough.

Stripping off your clothes is harder than you thought it was going to be, they're stuck to you, stuck to your skin from dampness, sweat and blood. You manage to peel your t-shirt off before chucking it to the floor. You take a breath as your hands work gently to untie the makeshift bandage around your leg. You curse loudly and Steve's calling out after you, asking if you're alright.

"Fine," your voice is tense as you try and breathe the pain away, "just getting these stupid jeans off. Leg's agony."

"Once you're cleaned I'll get the first aid kit and patch you up, give you painkillers too." He wishes that he could do more, that it could've been him instead of you that got badly hurt but there's nothing he can do now. All he can do is try and help you be comfortable.

"Can you talk to me about something? I need a distraction so I can pull these jeans off."

Immediately, he straightens and starts talking to you about the time in sixth grade when William Denver got a pencil lodged in his ear after a dare gone wrong. It was the distraction you needed as you managed to pull your jeans down with some ease and some pain. You stay standing for a minute just listening to him talking, it's nice; he's nice. You like that he didn't even question it, he just produced a memory from random and started rambling about it. He never made you feel silly or like you were asking for too much, he just did whatever you needed him to.

"Steve?" You say after a minute .

"Yeah?"

"You can stop talking, I did it."

"How does the wound look?"

"Gonna be honest, Harrington, I'm not fucking looking at it." It was the truth. You don't want to look at the wound, not yet. You'll wait until it was clean to do that. If you look now, you'd freak out so instead, you climb into the shower and almost instantly, you feel a million times better.

As Steve sat outside, scraping blood from under his nails, he couldn't get something that Eddie had said to him out of his head.

"It was (y/n), dude. As soon as you were pulled under, she was off like a shot. I've never seen anyone move that fast. She didn't even think about it, just dove in straight after you... You've got a good one there, dude. Can tell she really loves you."

Was that true? Did you love him? The questions whirred around Steve's mind and it was all he could focus on, nothing else except you. Things had changed and it was obvious, even to the two of you.

The water is hot but not too hot that it hurts. You stand in the shower just letting the water rush over you for what feels like forever, you're just enjoying avoiding looking at the bottom of the bathtub. When you finally look, it shocks you that it's still red, that there's still so much blood and grime on your skin that it's still turning the running water red. It makes your stomach flip and makes your eyes fill with tears. You'd hoped that by the time you opened your eyes, the only reminder about what happened that night would be the bite on your leg but when you open your eyes, the reminder is still all over you. You're still caked with dirt and blood, sticking to each and every crevice of you. With outstretched hands, you steady yourself against the wall as the reality of the whole situation hits you. It hits you hard from Steve choking to you passing out to the piggy back to the events in the Creel house... it all hits you like a train and you can't hold back the sobs that wrack your body. All you want to do is curl up and cry and sleep and pretend everything was normal.

It's too much. It's all too much. Steve was used to this life but you weren't, he'd always kept you safe from this world and now here you were, standing in the shower covered in blood; your blood, your friends blood and strange creature's blood. Bile rose in your throat as you desperately try and calm down. Your whole body is shaking as reality hits you, the adrenaline from diving into the lake to save your best friend stayed in the Upside Down, it didn't come back. You don't feel brave anymore but instead weak and scared.

Steve hears you. He can hear the sobs that come from you though drowned out by the shower but he hears and it breaks his heart. He looks at his hands which have dried blood coating them; your blood. He knows the feeling that's crashing over you, he knows how intense and overwhelming those moments are so he does the only thing he can do. He begins to talk loudly so that you can hear him over the noise of the shower, he doesn't know what he's talking about, he's just talking. He needs to fill the space, needs you to concentrate on something other than the panic and dread that's nestled and made its home so very deep inside of you.

You frown as you try and control your crying to listen. He's rambling about the time in eighth grade when he decided to skateboard off of the top of his garage and he ended up with a broken ankle. Rambling about how freaked out he was seeing the blood and the bone and how calm you were, about how you calmed him down told him that he'd be okay. You were the one who calmed him down with jokes in the ambulance ride to hospital and when they told him he'd need surgery, it was you who made him feel better by saying he'd have such a cool scar. It was you who waited hours on him coming out even despite your mom not being happy since it was a school night. It was you who visited first. It was you who signed his cast first.

"You've always been the strong one, (y/n). Always been the one to help me out... Always been you."

You'd been so focused on listening that your body worked in autopilot, scrubbing your skin hard of all of the grime and blood and when he was finished, you realised that you were almost done too. You catch a glance or two at your thigh, the wound is angry and red and it's deep but it's not as bad as it once looked. You scrub your nails furiously, trying to get the blood that's jammed under them out, before turning the water off.

You can hear him talking to someone outside the door, it sounds like Robin. You dry yourself off, careful not to irritate your thigh too much, before pulling on his jersey and shorts. They fit and they fit baggy which surprises you. They must've been huge on Steve. You wipe the steamed up mirror to look at the blurry vision of you. You like it, you like wearing his clothes. They smell like him, a mixture of cologne, pine and vanilla. You love that smell.

It's not much longer before he's knocking on the door, "You alright?"

You don't reply and instead just open the door. He almost can't function as you stand there in his clothes. It's an old jersey and shorts but oh my god, you make them look incredible. Something within him stirs, something possessive and feral inside of him but it's forgotten about after a second when you ask him if he's alright, "You're just staring at me, you good?" You feel self-conscious under his gaze because he's never looked at you like that before, at least not that you've been aware of. You shift in his jersey, self-consciously tugging at the hem to pull it down so it wasn't clinging to your stomach.

"I, uh, yeah. I'm fine." He nods quickly, "Robin came up a couple minutes ago. Her and Nancy are gonna use the downstairs shower so pointed them in the direction of my mom's closet for clothes. Eddie's just showered and is wandering about in his boxers so just don't look." You manage a small smile, "She says that Nancy's making some food if you wanted to go down-" He sees the absolute look of terror in your eyes, "Or you can wait here for me coming out the shower?" You nod quickly, "Okay, that's fine. I'll try to not take too long." He smiles knowing that you don't want to be away from him, he doesn't want to be away from you either. He grabs himself a clean towel and something to change into before disappearing into the hot and steamy bathroom.

You awkwardly manage to slide down the wall without irritating your leg too much as you wait for him to finish. You try and shut your mind off, not wanting to be alone with your thoughts for any longer than necessary, so you distract yourself with any means necessary.

You think back to when you and Steve were twelve and had thrown a party for the two of you in your basement. You'd stolen your dad's old records as the two of you danced around, wired to the moon on sugar and candy. A song had come on, Life On Mars - David Bowie, and the two of you were in total amazement. It swiftly became 'your song' as Steve dubbed it. It wasn't romantic like most couples songs were but it was a song that the two of you would dance around the room and sing loudly in the car to. You began to hum it quietly to yourself trying to stay focused in the memory of that silly party the two of you threw.

He doesn't take too long but it's been long enough when it hits the fifteen minute mark. You feel on edge. You know that he's just on the other side of the door but you don't feel right knowing that he's not there beside you. Your hands fidget nervously with the hem of the jersey as you breathe in his scent from it to keep calm. You long abandoned humming David Bowie as after five minutes, you were driving yourself insane, and instead spent the last ten minutes with your eyes squeezed shut head pressed back against the wall as you try and calm the rising panic.

The door swings open a few minutes later and there he is, standing there freshly cleaned and washed with his sopping wet hair still looking perfect and a clean t-shirt and shorts on. You reach out for him to help you up and when he does, you throw your arms around him tightly. You need to feel him, need to know he's okay and he's safe. He seems to need this embrace as much as you do as he responds by tightly pulling you against him, bodies flush against the other, warm and damp. His hands grip onto the fabric of your material as he buries his head in the crook of your neck, "I almost lost you," he breathes out. His voice is thick and you can tell that he's close to tears. He can't get over how close he came to losing you. It put everything into perspective for him then, made him realise that life was too short to continue pretending that there wasn't obviously something between the two of you.

"I almost lost you," you murmur as tears build in your eyes, lips once again grazing over the skin of his neck, "I saw you go under and I just- I didn't even think I just jumped in after you." Steve closed his eyes briefly, so what Eddie had told him was true.

It almost doesn't feel real what happened tonight. The whole thing, even this standing in the safe arms of Steve Harrington, it feels like you could blink and be back in the Upside Down so you cling to him and he clings back just as hard. Neither of you cry but the fact that you both welled up over nearly losing the other proved the point regardless.

It's not until you hear someone padding upstairs that the two of you break apart, though his hand holds yours, it's Nancy. She's wearing pyjamas that belonged to Steve's mom, loose and baggy on her, "Food's ready," her voice is quiet and her smile is apologetic knowing that she's just walked into something that she shouldn't be seeing.

Steve nods before he gathers yours and his clothes and then he leads you slowly downstairs to go and eat. Steve tells you that you'll eat then he'll patch your leg up. The smell hits you when you walk into the kitchen; pizza, chicken nuggets and fries. Nancy had raided the freezer and put on a feast for everyone. You didn't think you were hungry until you got there and saw the food. Steve bundles together everyone's clothes and chucks them into the washing machine, pouring a healthy amount of detergent in before turning it on. It's only then as the five of you crowd round the table, chairs squeaking as you pull them in, that you feel the hunger. You all eat in silence the only noise that can be heard is chewing and the grumble of the washing machine. Usually you didn't like eating in front of people, you got worried about what they'd think about your portion size or made a comment but right now you didn't care. With Steve's hand on your knee, you couldn't care about anything else right now. It doesn't take long before the food's finished and you're all guzzling on the water bottles that Nancy had placed on the table.

It's then that you look around the table, looking at everyone. Everyone's clean, smelling of vanilla body wash and coconut shampoo, with clean clothes that are a little loose and baggy (aside from Eddie who only wears boxers but he's wrapped the throw from the couch around himself) but the angry red scrapes, scratches and cuts that litter everyone's limbs are hard to hide. Nancy's managed to shower, change, cook dinner and even managed to treat hers, Robin's and Eddie's scrapes and cuts in the time it took you and Steve to shower. Impressive.

Once the food's finished, everyone scatters. No one really talks aside from their 'thank you's to Nancy. Steve gathers the plates up and puts them in the sink. You wait. He'll wash them in the morning he decides before moving to the counter where Nancy had left the first aid box. He grabs it and wiggles it in his hand, "You ready?"

You nod, "Let's get it over with."

He kneels down in front of you as you sit in the chair, "Can I?" He asks as he nods to the shorts you're wearing. You nod. Robin walks into the kitchen and quickly backs away, the scene unfolding far too intimate for anyone else to see. She warns Nancy and Eddie to stay away. Steve hands are gentle as he rolls your shorts upwards to get to your mid thigh. It's then you both get a good look at your wound. It's angry and raw but it looks better. The bleeding stopped a while ago so that's a good sign. Still hurts like hell though.

He rummages through the first aid box, finding a wipe and a large plaster, "It's gonna hurt." He tells you as he tears open the antiseptic wipe. You nod quickly and with a tender hand, he cleans it. It stings and burns but you aren't focusing on the cut, you're looking at Steve. You're looking at the way his hair falls into his vision and he blows it away with an upwards puff of air. You're watching the way his brow furrows in concentration as he gnaws on his lower lip making sure to not cause any further harm to you.

He grabs stuff to dress it with, glancing up at you, doing a double take when he realises that you're staring at him, "I'm not hurting you am I?"

You shake your head, "No, you're fine."

He goes back to gently dressing your wound and before you know it, he's finished. You go to pull away but Steve reaches out, "You forgot the most crucial part of patching up a wound," he chides, that playful tone once again back where it belongs. You frown but before you can ask what he means, his head ducks low and his lips graze the skin above the dressing. It's so soft and gentle that you wouldn't have known he'd done it had you not been staring at him with wide eyes. Where he kisses feels hot but not from the wound rather from him. Your heart beats fast in your chest and your cheeks feel like they're on fire, "There." His breath tickles over your skin. He lingers for a few seconds, too long for a friend, before he pulls back and stands up leaving you sitting there absolutely stunned.

He smirks as he turns away from you, discarding the empty wrappers in the bin, he knows what he's doing to you. Hope burns strong inside him, hope that maybe this is it; this is his chance, your chance. When he turns around you tell him to sit down, "Mine are fine," he says with a shake of the head, "not as bad as yours."

"So?" You ask with a raised brow, "Sit."

He complies.

You grab some plasters that were at the bottom of the box which happen to be some yellow and red plasters with various wild animals on them. Steve laughs slightly, "Seriously?" He asks as you grab a wipe to clean him.

"It's the only plasters you've got, not my fault Harrington."

He rolls his eyes but humours you and lets you dab his cuts carefully before sticking down the plasters. You only plaster the ones that are deeper so he ends up with some on his arms and one on his left temple. He goes to stand up, "Wait," you tell him fighting off a smirk, "you forgot the most crucial part of patching up a wound." His eyes widen slightly and his Adam's apple bobs in his throat. Two can play at your game, Harrington. Slowly, you duck your head to press gentle kisses to the cuts on his arms, lips lingering just as his did. Steve swallows hard. It's taking everything to control himself right now and even then, he's barely controlling himself. He can't stop thinking about the way your lips feel, soft and warm on his skin, and he can't stop thinking about how they'd feel against his own.

Your heart is beating harder but you don't let it show as you lean in close to him. Steve's eyes are trained on you, never wavering, entirely focused on your next move. You press a gentle kiss to his temple, your hand rests on his knee for leverage. Steve swallows hard again and you secretly smile knowing that you're having some form of effect on him. He can smell you, smell the shampoo in your hair that he uses, he can smell his jersey on you and he loves that he can smell himself on you. Again, that primal urge rises in him but he pushes it away as you lean back and sit back down in your chair.

"Uh... thanks," he says as he clears his throat. You like seeing him like this, flustered and flushed, "How's it feel?" He asks referring to your wound.

"Better." Your cheeks feel hot as you replay the moment of him kissing your thigh over and over in your head. He stands up and takes your hand before slowly leading you out of the kitchen and into the living room. You like the way his hand feels in yours, warm and large.

Eddie's set up camp for the night there, laying on the couch under a blanket with a cushion shoved under his head. Robin's curled in the armchair almost half asleep but Steve taps her leg and tells her to go to the guest room, Nancy too who was coming downstairs carrying blankets. Without a word, the two girls nod and head upstairs.

You and Steve aren't far behind them, following them up after he locks the door. There's no question of where you're sleeping, not an utterance of a word about it, instead it's just quiet acceptance. He makes sure that Nancy and Robin are comfortable before leading you into his bedroom and quietly closing the door behind him.

Nerves bubble in your stomach. It's different. You've been in Steve's room hundreds of times over the years of being friends. You'd slept in this room plenty before too on duvets on the floor and once in his bed curled up with him after a drunken party. This time though... it feels different. It doesn't feel like sleeping over with a friend because well, he's not a friend anymore. You aren't sure how he feels about you but you know that this isn't how friends treat each other. You don't want to get your hopes up just in case but they're there, niggling under the surface of your skin.

It's only when you're in his room with the door closed, you're unsure what to do next. Steve's not shy and he knows exactly where you're going to be. He walks to his side of the bed and lifts the duvet to get in, "Well?" He asks, "Hurry up and get in here."

He doesn't need to tell you twice.

Your heart beats fast as you climb into bed beside him. The bed smells like him, it smells like home. Steve watches you the whole time, the words he wants to say are right there on the tip of his tongue, locked behind his teeth but he's not feeling brave anymore so he stays silent. There's a certain tension in the air that you both feel as you lie on your sides, facing each other. Your heart hammers in your chest as your mind whirs with the possibilities of what might be.

The moon seems to be right outside of Steve's open windows, shining in bright so that you can see him, he's a duller and darker version in this light but he's still Steve; your Steve. You look up at him from behind long lashes and you find his eyes boring into yours, roaming and searching, looking for an answer to the question that he hasn't asked. It seems to click then, to both of you, that this was something more than what is once was or maybe this is way it always had been but it was only now you were realising it. He shifts closer and you do too as his eyes switch from your lips to your eyes. The burning desire to kiss someone has never been this strong before.

All you can hear is the beat of your heart in your ears like a drum, faster and faster, as you inch closer to him. He finds one of your hands lost under the sheets and takes it, clasping your fingers together tightly. It's then when you look up and realise that you're almost pressed together. Steve swallows, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat, as his breath tickles over your face.

It happens.

You're not sure who moved in first, it was more like a joint effort to meet in the middle. Your eyes flutter shut as Steve closes the gap between your lips, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. It's a small kiss, gentle and it doesn't last long but in that moment, everything slots together and you feel like everything's right again. He's testing the waters with this kiss, keeps it short and sweet before he pulls back a few centimetres, eyes scanning your face for some kind of regret or negativity but he doesn't find it.

Your mind reels from the fact that you and Steve just kissed. Your stomach is a jumble of nerves overlapping each other and writhing deep in the pit of your stomach. That few seconds where you're just staring at each other, eyes searching for confirmation, seemed to solidify something for the two of you, a silent agreement, consent and before you knew it, it was a push and a pull of bodies. Your free hand tangles in his shirt, pulling him close as his pulls you in at the waist.

No other kiss has ever felt like this one. It's fast and hard, smashing of lips and clashing tongues. It's hungry and passionate, it's a 'finally' moment, a breath of fresh air, a breath of relief. You've never been kissed like this before; never been kissed with such intensity and passion behind it. He kisses you like it means something because to him, it does; it means everything.

With a swift kick, he shoves the sheets to the floor where they gather in a pile. He rolls you onto your back and shifts without breaking the kiss so that he's over you, hands on either side of your head as you kiss. His knee moves between your legs, parting them, and pushing upwards. You gasp, breaking the kiss, at the sudden friction between your legs.

He snaps back.

His eyes roam your face again as your brow furrows. He worries that he's gone too far, moved too fast, but you grab a handful of his cotton shirt and pull him back down to kiss you. There's a new found confidence within you, allowing you to grab him and kiss him which you wouldn't have done before, you kiss him hard and he seems to get the hint that you want this, that you want him.

You almost feel like you need to be pinched, like at any moment you're going to open your eyes and you'll be somewhere else; that this is all a dream. For years, you'd had a crush on him but you thought it would always just be a secret and never be reciprocated but here he is, kissing you as though his goddamn life depends on it. You. He's kissing you. If 14 year old you could see you now. Well maybe not the scenes that would unfold in the next few minutes but my god, it would be the biggest confidence boost knowing that you, despite your weight and despite your size, would have Steve Harrington fawning over you. It felt good to be wanted, it felt right.

Soon the kiss turns needy and desperate as heat pools between your legs. Your hips push downwards into his knee trying to feel the friction through the cotton shorts that you wear. Steve's lips pull away from yours, extracting an audible whine from you, as he moves to your cheek, your jaw, your neck, your shoulder. He kisses everywhere, peppering small kisses on the soft skin before finding the spot on your neck that makes your gasp and makes your back arch. His hands are on your sides, dancing the hem of the jersey you wear up, and it's then it kicks in. Your hand darts out to catch his, stopping it in its place.

He stops.

"Am I going too fast- dammit, shit, sorry, sweetheart. I-I got carried away-"

You shush his worries and cut off his rambling before you answer him softly, "Self-conscious." Your voice is a mere whisper and Steve's face immediately softens. You'd never really had anyone touch you like this, with so much care and love and it makes you so aware of all of your imperfections. The worry that sits in the back of your mind, too, is that you know Steve's dating history; tiny, petite and pretty girls... Not you. Not fat and curvy and lumpy. Steve's eyes bore into yours and he can see your worries, sitting so openly and plainly in front of him.

"Baby," he murmurs, hand trailing fire over your cheek as he caresses it, "I think you're perfect." You look in his eyes and you know that there's a decade of trust there, a decade of friendship and loyalty, a decade of love, "You don't have to hide from me." You're still not quite there so Steve continues, "Your body, your smile, your laugh; you are perfect to me, (y/n). Beautiful. Your weight and size doesn't make you any less so... I want you, (y/n). Why do you think I only gave you my clothes to wear? I only want you, no one else." You hadn't thought about why you were the only one wearing Steve's clothes. It hadn't really clicked to be honest. He'd sent Robin and Nancy to his mom's closet, Eddie chose to be half naked, and you were the only one wearing Steve's clothes. It was such an honest, sweet, possessive action that it made the heat burn between your legs.

He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to the side of your jaw, then another and another before he pulls back, "You want me to stop?"

You shake your head.

"Speak up, babygirl."

"Don't stop," you whisper, "I want you... Fuck, Steve, I need you." Hearing you say it makes his cock twitch in his shorts. It doesn't take much until he's rock hard, pressing against your thigh as he kisses you again, hot and heavy.

His hands resume sliding under your shirt, over the lumps and bumps and curves of your stomach and sides until they find your bare breast, heading straight for your hard nipple. His thumb grazes over it, extracting a soft moan from your parted lips. Steve moans into your neck at the sound of you, "God," he groans, "you even sound so fucking pretty."

Your whole body feels hot, feels like you're burning a fever but in the best way possible, "Take it off," you get a moment of bravery as you push him back and pull off of the jersey, throwing it across the room where it bundles in a pile at the wardrobe. You hoist your lower half up and rather ungracefully tear off your shorts and throw them over to where the jersey resides on the floor. Thankfully Steve was to preoccupied with taking his shirt off to see.

It was when he looked back down at you, ready to move in to kiss your breast, that he stopped.

"Holy fuck, baby."

He looks at you like you're the only thing of importance in the world. The way he stares at you, drinking in your body, your curves, your stretchmarks, it makes you shift and wriggle awkwardly. The way that he looks at you, you've never had anyone look at you like that before. His gaze is so awe-filled and you never want him to stop. He follows every line, every bump, every freckle, every blemish on your body until it leads back to your face and your eyes, "So goddamn pretty."

He bends his head, taking your nipple in his mouth tongue swirling around the sensitive bud, as his fingers press into your hips. The moans that he was pulling from you were like music to his ears, every moan and mewl making his cock twitch with anticipation. Every time you moan, he hums against your nipple. God he doesn't think he'll ever get tired of hearing you or making you feel good. Your back arches and his hand slips over your stomach, groping the curve of it. You shiver and squirm but not because you're uncomfortable. His touch sends tingles down your spine and all across your soft, sensitive skin.

"Steve," you whisper out, back arching as his fingers push apart your thick thighs, "I- I- need you."

Steve growls against your skin, "Never thought I'd hear you say that, baby," he says against your skin before taking your nipple back in his mouth, tongue swirling and circling around it as his fingers trail down your thick thighs to your aching hot sex.

You've never had anyone touch you like this, your hand brushes against his and he stills, raising his head to look at you, "I've never... you know..." You're a virgin. He already knows it, just like you know that he's not and he's not been for a long time.

Steve nods, "I'll be gentle, babygirl," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the side of your mouth, "if it hurts or you want me to stop-"

"I'll tell you."

Steve grins, that half grin you love so much, before he attacks your neck again as his fingers continue their agonisingly slow dance down your thighs, "God," he moans into your neck as he hears the way your breath hitches in your throat, "you sound too fucking pretty. I want to hear you moan for me..." His fingers graze over your slick cunt and my god, you're soaked, "God, I want to do this right; I want to take my time with you but- I don't know how much longer I can go." His fingers part you and circle your sex until they brush over your clit.

Your eyes roll backwards as your back arches to a level you never knew possible and Steve grins at your reaction. He presses harder on your clit, pressing and circling lazy circles. Your body twists and convulses, overwhelmed by the new sensations that he's causing, your words are a jumble of moans and curse words crumbling beneath him and he's never witnessed anything so beautiful.

"J-Jesus, Steve-"

His hips involuntarily buck forwards, colliding with your thigh and his head falls as he groans, "Baby, you can't say my name like that," he hisses, "you'll make me- Jesus- I've never had that before- never had this. I'm so- so desperate for you and just hearing you, just seeing you like this is enough to make me- fuck." You love having that effect on him but he doesn't let you enjoy it for too long before a finger is pushing at your entrance. He searches your eyes and you nod as he coats it in your slick heat before slowly, his finger is being pushed inside of you.

You kiss him. Lips open and tongues swirling as he pushes inside of you, you moan against his mouth and he seems to understand what you want. He shifts and slowly pushes another finger into you and it isn't long until your hands are tugging at the sheets, his hair, nails digging into strong shoulders as you come undone beneath him. Your mind is a jumble of everything Steve. All those moments with Steve. The innocent laughter of kids, the secrets of teenagers, the awkwardness of young adults. The inside jokes, the teasing jibes, the playful roll of the eyes, the secret glances when you think he isn't look, his lovesick whenever you laugh.

Steve feels like he could finish right here, right now. Not even inside you and barely started. This moment had been in the works for years and now it was here, years of tension built up into a few lustful, passionate moments. He slips his fingers from you and immediately takes them in his mouth, tasting your natural tang on his tongue. He moans against them as he licks your wetness from them, "Fucking delicious, babygirl." He tugs his shorts down and looks down at you, "Shit, condom-"

"I'm on the pill, Steve," you pant, "we don't need it."

"Are you sure? We can stop-"

"Steve," you cut him off, leaning up on your elbows to give him a quick peck, "I'm sure."

He lines himself up and readies you for him to push into you. You gasp at his size and he gives you a few seconds to adjust before he checks if you're alright and want to continue. It's not sore, it's an unfamiliar sensation but it feels good. You nod to let Steve know you're ready to continue. His finger trails lazily down your thigh, avoiding your wounds, as he looks at you with teasing eyes.

"Words, please."

"More- God, more."

He complies, his pace slow and steady. It takes everything in his to not implode then and there in your slick warmth. It's all a bit of a blur, it feels like you're high or drunk, fuzzy around the edges and tingly. Steve's groaning into your neck, sounds that drive you crazy because my god how does he sound so fucking pretty too? Your legs are tight around him as he kisses you hard, pace quickening with every thrust. It doesn't feel like anything you'd experienced before. It's deep and makes your body squirm and shake, it makes noises you didn't know you could make escape from your throat; it makes you go wild.

"You feel so-" he groans, "so fucking good, babygirl."

The way he speaks to you, voice dark and dripping with lust, could easily tip you over the edge once more but you hang on, wanting to stretch it out just a little longer. Your eyes meet Steve's. You'd always wondered that if you and Steve did ever get together, would it be awkward? Would it be uncomfortable at first? You had your answer. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't uncomfortable. It felt like how it should; it felt right. Like two pieces of a puzzle slotting together perfectly.

"Cum for me," Steve pants, peppering kisses all over your face, your neck, your shoulder. Your body involuntarily convulses, gasping at his words, "Cum for me, babygirl."

You couldn't stop yourself even if you tried. One second you're staring into Steve's eyes, the next you're tumbling into the blissful vortex of an orgasm, writhing and wriggling beneath him. The sensations overwhelm you; so much pleasure, so much build up and now you're unravelling at the seams for him; for Steve. Your eyes squeeze shut as your hands go between pulling at his hair to gripping his flesh with your nails, probably adding new cuts to his already bruised and battered body. The moans that come from you, jesus, he barely contains himself. The knowledge that he's the one making you feel this good, he's the one inside you, the one who's making you moan like that... he could explode inside you right now.

"Fucking hell, babygirl," he groans into your neck, "too fucking good, too fucking tight and pretty."

His thrusts slow as you come down from your high, allowing you some time to calm your racing heart and tingly limbs. Your breathing is erratic and you can't seem to form a single word or even a single thought but only Steve. Just Steve. Always Steve.

"I can't hold it, baby," he whispers, "you're too much; perfect but so- so fucking good." He means that you're too much in the highest of compliments. He could've came with just the sight of your naked body, hell just kissing you could've made him explode, the sound of you could've made it happen so the fact he's here, listening to you, touching you, kissing you, inside of you... it's so much; too much but he never wants it to stop. He wants it forever - wants you forever.

Slowly regaining some strength back, your hips rock into his. You're unsure of how to exactly do it but you know you're doing something right when he's cursing and gasping into your ear. The more he reacts, the more confidence you gain.

"Cum for me," you whisper in his ear just as he had done to you.

His moans make you shudder with excitement and it's not long before he's cursing and groaning loudly into your neck and the pillow you lay on, fist clenched around your hand. His thrusts grow quick and sloppy and you continue to talk him through it until he stills and shudders.

Pants fill the humid air as the two of you recover and fall down from your highs. It's a moment later when Steve slowly slides out of your warmth and slides off of you, falling onto the bed next to you. He doesn't give you any time to miss his touch because as soon as he's off of you, he's pulling you in at the waist and pressing soft kisses to your forehead.

You don't know what it is, the rushing tsunami of emotions, the reality hitting you or just the whole day's overwhelming nature but you feel vulnerable in those few moments afterwards and instinctively, your hands scrabble for the sheet, pulling it half over yourself.

"Hey," Steve murmurs, one eye open, "you never have to hide from me again."

You curl into him, "I know... It's just... weird getting used to it." It doesn't feel awkward or uncomfortable or even weird. The only weird thing about it is how normal it feels. You settle into Steve's arms as you feel a question bubbling up inside of you. "How... How was it?" It's a question that you're unsure you want the answer to because what if he hated it? What if it was just okay? It's too late now anyway, the deed has been done and the question has been asked.

Steve pulls a long breath out, "I seriously mean this, babygirl... the best, most intense, most mindblowingly awesome sex I've ever had in my life. No joke. Seriously like-"

You find yourself laughing, cheeks burning and heart racing at the compliments he continued to pour out, "Okay, okay, stop, I get it! I'm the best sex you've ever had in your life and you'll never find anyone like me ever again-"

"I don't want anyone ever again." His mood turns serious, a snap of the fingers and all laughter is gone, "I only want you, (y/n)... This isn't a one-time thing for me." You look up at him and you see that expression back once again, sad and scared, "I almost lost you, (y/n). I'm never letting you go again."

Your heart skips a beat, "So what does that mean for us?"

"it means that I-" the words are right there, locked behind teeth but he doesn't feel brave anymore, "I can't lose you."

"I can't lose you either." It's as good as an admission goes. You know how he feels just like he knows how you feel for him but the two of you have been too brave for today and neither has any intrepidness left in you so you leave it at that. You'll tell him the true nature of your feelings at some point but not right now, not yet. So for now, it's enough and it isn't long before the darkness wraps its arms around you and pulls you to sleep.

Steve settles with you wrapped up around him. He's warm, almost too warm, but he's not letting go of you. He can't. With a deep breath, he does his best to block today's events in the Upside Down out of his mind and focuses on the sound of your breathing to help lull him to sleep.

The lot of you don't get up until well into the afternoon, bodies and minds equally as exhausted. Your body is sorer in the morning, achier and just plain tired, Steve thinks it's his fault and he keeps apologising profusely but kisses work wonders to soothe his worries.

"I'm just bruised and battered. Not from you, Steve. You can't ever hurt me."

When you and Steve finally emerge from downstairs, Nancy's on the phone to Jonathan, Robin's watching TV and Eddie's surprisingly making breakfast. He's quiet and his smile doesn't quite hit his eyes but he tries his best to lift spirits. When the two of you pass Robin, she gives you a warm smile - a knowing smile but not a teasing one. After the events of yesterday, there's no teasing, no jokes; it's a 'life is fucking short so get with the one you love immediately'.

Once more, you crowd around the breakfast table, a little livelier than last night but the bruises, cuts and dark circles under everyone's eyes tells a different story. Everyone's eyes have a darkness to them; a hollow emptiness after the trauma of last night. Eddie fills in the conversation where he can but even he isn't feeling up to it so the sound of silence is something that you've grown to be used to. Steve's hand doesn't leave your hand all morning, he still doesn't want to be away from you.

After breakfast, the five of you glance around at each other and there's a question that you all think but don't say. Steve finds himself answering, "You can all stay as long as you need. My parents won't be home for a week and-"

There's a group sigh of relief.

"Maybe just one more night," Nancy says, "until we can get a proper good night's sleep." She's always been so strong, so fearless but the fact that there's a slight tremor of fear in her voice is oddly comforting to you.

"Thank god because I wasn't going anywhere." Robin says as she finishes the last of her apple juice.

"Me either," Eddie says, "maybe we could extend the invite to Henderson and the rest of the little buddies."

As the rest of the group break off, with Eddie going to call Dustin and Nancy and Robin cleaning up, you and Steve move outside to sit by the pool. Steve's arm is tight around your shoulders, pulling you into his embrace, "I love you." He's not feeling very brave today but he says it anyway. Life's too short, he learned that last night. So even despite his worries and fears, he had to tell you. Why not?

You press a kiss to his neck, smiling. See? Like two puzzle pieces slotting together. His confession makes you feel brave and makes you feel like you could tell him. Last night was a night of firsts; first time into the Upside Down, first time getting wounded, first time having sex so what's wrong with another first? First time telling someone that you love them; first time telling Steve. The boy who you thought was so far out of your league. Years ago you'd accepted your fate of just being friends but now? Now you were here, in his arms, so why the fuck would you let your fears stop you from taking the leap of faith?

"I love you, too." He presses a kiss to your forehead, smiling.

The two of you stay there, curled up together and smiling, until Dustin and crew get there and until Dustin yells at the top of his lungs, "I fucking knew it! Fifty bucks Harrington!"

[cherienymphe]

The Less I Know The Better IX (JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron)

Warnings: eventual NON-CON, eventual DUB-CON, jealousy, manipulation, DUI, mentions of blood, underage drinking, drug use, mild unhealthy relationship, eventual violence, one sided kiara x jj, non canon ages, pogue!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies​ | divider by @firefly-graphics​

➥ series masterlist

summary:  When you start dating Rafe Cameron, no one is more surprised than you when your best friend JJ takes it really well. However, no one is more surprised than JJ when he’s forced to see his once frumpy BFF in an entirely new light, suddenly terrified of losing what he never knew he had to the person he hates most.

~

It was hard to keep your eyes open, lashes fluttering and nails scraping along the railing. Rafe’s hands were tight on your waist, pulling you back against him to meet his thrusts. Your breath was shaky, moans and whimpers interrupting your breathing. Your legs were trembling, and you were sure that the only thing that kept you standing was Rafe.

He pressed his chest to your back, hovering over you and nipping at your ear. It was dark, the only light coming from that of the half moon in the sky. It was Rafe’s idea to spend a night on his dad’s boat, taking it out during the evening and having a sleepover on the water. You hadn’t hesitated to agree, and your boyfriend was taking full advantage of your seclusion. This was the second time you’d had sex today, your cunt greedily gripping Rafe and desperate for more.

“Louder, baby,” he groaned in your ear. “Louder. I want to hear you…”

As if to force your hand, he fucked you harder, making you gasp, breath hitching. Rafe’s name tumbled from your lips, and you reached back, nails pressing into his skin. You could feel how wet you were, feel it dripping down your legs. Your bathing suit was wherever, thrown haphazardly over Rafe’s shoulder the minute he got it off of you.

You could feel your stomach burning, skin blazing as he fucked you towards your climax. Rafe could feel it too, pulling you closer and backing up. He kept you against him as he sat down, fucking himself up into you with one hand sliding up your chest and circling your throat. Your fingers pressed into his thighs as you steadied yourself, moans climbing out of your throat.

He forced you up and down his cock, a groan leaving him as he stretched you out. Your thighs were shaking, and your breath grew choppy, and the only thing that kept your head upright was Rafe’s hand on your neck.

“Rafe,” you mumbled. “Rafe, I’m-.”

You cut yourself off, coming around him with a gasp, falling against him. Rafe was more than happy to hold you in place, pushing his cock into you and fucking you through it. You felt yourself shudder again when he spilled into you, one of his hands sliding over your stomach. Now, that you were on birth control, Rafe didn’t always use a condom, but your pregnancy scare didn’t allow you to let him make a habit of it.

When you fell to the side, Rafe slipping out of you, he reached for the blanket he’d brought. He wrapped it around you and pulled you against him, mindful of how cold you could get. You leaned your head on his shoulder, still fighting to catch your breath.

“Ward doesn’t mind about the boat?”

“Your birth control is fighting off my sperm as we speak, and you want to talk about my dad?”

You made a face, and Rafe chuckled. He leaned in to press a kiss to the side of your head, taking a deep breath.

“I didn’t really ask, but…as long as she’s back as perfect as she always is, he doesn’t care.”

“She?” you questioned. “What is with you guys and constantly comparing your favorite objects to women? You, John B., JJ.”

You laughed to yourself, but Rafe didn’t join you.

“Just a guy thing, I guess,” he murmured, and you shifted.

Your eyes met his, concerned.

“You okay…?”

Rafe slowly blinked at you, gaze unreadable and hair going every which way.

“Peachy. How is JJ, by the way?”

You knew what he was referring to, and it made you smile. He didn’t like JJ, that was no secret, but you were glad he asked about him because he knew how much you cared about him.

“Good,” you said with a nod, pausing. “Well, as good as he can be.”

You shook your head.

“Him and his dad… I don’t even know how to describe it.”

Your gaze lowered.

“I beg him and I beg him to get out, but JJ is one of those people where family is family,” you scoffed. “He’s going to stick by him no matter what, and I hate it.”

You had similar thoughts about Rafe, but you kept that to yourself. Sometimes it scared you just how alike he and JJ were, just how much they had in common. You both heard and felt Rafe sigh, and you wondered if his mind had gone to the same place that yours had.

“You’re a good friend,” Rafe murmured, and you looked at him just as he brushed a finger down your face. “I like that about you.”

You gave him a soft smile.

“I try to be.”

Sometimes you doubted yourself. Especially when it came to JJ. You often wondered if you were wrong to put your history with Rafe behind you. It wasn’t like you had talked to any of them besides Sarah about it first. Someone somewhere would probably argue that you didn’t need to, but you weren’t so sure.

It wasn’t like Rafe had only been mean to you. He had an ugly history with all of you, JJ especially, and while the morals behind it were subjective, you were sure almost anyone could agree that it was insensitive at best. It was like JJ announcing that he was seeing some girl who’d made your life hell at one point, and you suddenly had a better perspective on his side of things.

You were pulled from your thoughts when Rafe stood. You watched him pull on his pants before reaching into the pocket. You straightened, curious as he pulled out a small box.

“I know fancy jewelry isn’t your thing,” he started, sitting back down. “…and this reminded me of you, anyway.”

Rafe opened it, pulling out a simple gold necklace with a pink seashell attached. On instinct, you turned around, and he brought it over your head. His fingers brushed over your skin as he clasped it, hands resting on your shoulders as you played with it.

“You like it, right?”

Your eyes met his over your shoulder, and you brushed your lips over his, reassuring him.

“Of course, I do.”

He nodded, a crooked smile on his lips. His fingers ghosted over your hand, and Rafe exhaled.

“I don’t want you to think I’m trying to buy you or anything like that,” he quietly told you. “…but all I want to do is buy you everything I see.”

He chuckled, and you joined him.

“I’m not used to it, that’s all. That’s the only reason it makes me a little uncomfortable, but I don’t think that. Besides,” you said, kissing him. “I can’t be bought anyway.”

“You sure you don’t want a snow cone?” Kie asked again as she brought John B. his, happy with her own.

“I’m good. They can get messy anyway.”

“That’s half the fun,” Pope spoke up, leaning back in his seat.

Kie took her seat too, excited for the movie to start.

It was warm outside, but not too warm to the point of being uncomfortable. You could hear some parents shushing their kids, the projector turning on as the sun made its descent. You felt like it had been a minute since all of you hung out like you used to, no tension or unspoken words hovering around. JJ’s arm brushed against yours as he shifted in his seat, and you smiled at him.

After he had apologized, things felt more like what they used to be than they had in a while. You didn’t know if it was because JJ had snapped, letting out everything he’d been keeping inside for months and making you aware of just how much he’d been struggling with this… Or because everything being out and in the open now had relieved him, had been the first necessary step to actually trying now.

“Rafe didn’t want to come?”

JJ’s voice was low, but you heard him all the same. You resisted the urge to sigh, remembering the disappointment on your face when Rafe had to decline.

“Family thing,” was your only explanation.

Neither of you commented on the fact that Sarah was here, clearly not held to the same obligations that Rafe was. Ward wasn’t even your dad, and you swore he pissed you off almost as much as he did Rafe. Sometimes you wanted to talk about it, but Rafe wasn’t known for expressing his emotions in a healthy way, and that hadn’t changed just because he was dating you. You would’ve loved to at least talk to Sarah about it, wanting some help on what you could do, but that…

That didn’t seem like a good idea.

You loved Sarah, like a sister, but you doubted that she’d ever admit to Ward’s favoritism. Sure, Rafe didn’t help the situation, but Sarah would probably never accept that it had been happening since she was born. She’d take it the wrong way, would feel like you were saying she had some blame, and you only just got one friendship back on steady ground. You didn’t want to shake the table on another.

JJ could probably relate to Rafe the most, but considering how much abuse JJ had to put up with, you didn’t know if he’d appreciate you coming to him about Rafe. JJ wouldn’t think the two situations were comparable. He’d probably laugh in your face if you tried to make him feel bad for Rafe Cameron, the guy who seemingly had everything. You could practically see how that would go.

“His dad gives him a hard time here and there and suddenly he’s like me? Tell me more about him confiding in you while lounging on his daddy’s yacht,” he’d say.

You were so deep in thought, the movie just a blur to you now, that you almost missed the vibration in your pocket. Your phone was on silent, but not off, and you slipped it out of your pocket with a frown. It deepened at the sight of Rafe’s name. You could feel eyes on you when you stood, slipping away to answer it without disturbing anyone.

“Hey…”

Your tone was inquiring. Rafe knew that you were at movie night with your friends, so you gathered that he wouldn’t have called you if it wasn’t important. You were right.

“Hey…uh…” you heard him sniff, and you stiffened. “You still at that movie thing?”

“Yeah,” you glanced over your shoulder at your friends. “Rafe, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he hurried to say. “I just uh…I really need to see you.”

He was lying.

You could tell that something was wrong. It was evident in the way his voice shook, in the way he slurred his words a bit, and you remembered that he’d been with Ward tonight. You wondered what happened, what the other man had sad, and your hand tightened on your phone.

“Um,” you breathed, looking around. “I can come by-.”

“No, no, no, I can come get you,” he interrupted, and you could hear him starting his truck. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll come get you.”

He hung up before you could say anything else, and while you felt bad about leaving your friends, your concern outweighed that. They were curiously looking at you when you returned, watching you grab your stuff.

“Everything okay?” Sarah wondered.

“I don’t know,” you honestly answered. “Rafe is getting me. Something’s wrong.”

Sarah looked worried, and you shook your head, calming her down.

“No one’s hurt or anything…I don’t think,” you added. “He…he sounded off. Something’s wrong.”

Her shoulders fell at that, and they all looked disappointed that you were leaving. JJ’s expression was unreadable when you looked at him.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized to all of them. “He knows I’m here with you, so he wouldn’t call if it wasn’t serious-.”

“Y/N, it’s okay. There’ll be other movie nights.”

John B.’s words made you feel better, and you waved them all goodbye. You were barely in the parking lot for a minute when Rafe’s truck pulled in. He was quick to park, hopping out and helping you put your stuff in the back seat. You eyed him, taking in his taut expression, jaw clenched.

He didn’t say anything when he helped you inside, leaving you to stare at the door when he closed it. Your eyes were on him again when he hopped in, his own cold gaze focused on the road as he pulled off. You wanted to give him a minute, a chance maybe to get his mind together, but it became clear that he wasn’t going to tell you what was wrong.

So, you asked.

“Did something happen?”

Rafe blinked at that, pulling his lips between his teeth. His skin stretched over his knuckles as he tightened his hand on the wheel, briefly looking out the window.

“Rafe…”

You were getting worried. He was so quiet, and that unnerved you. You reached for him when you noticed his lips trembling.

“I don’t know what he wants from me,” he slowly said.

You sighed, disappointment and anger filling you as you realized what and who this was about.

“He’s not happy when I fuck up…a-and he’s not happy when I do something right…”

“Rafe-.”

“I mean…I’m starting to think that he’s just not happy with me…at all. As in, what am I even doing here?”

“Don’t-.”

“…because it’s becoming pretty clear to me that he doesn’t want me around, at all.”

“Rafe, please don’t say that,” you whispered. “That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?” he bit out, teeth clenched. “What else am I supposed to think when me simply existing seems to upset him. What else could that possibly mean?”

He looked at you then, and that was when you noticed it. Rafe took notice of your gaze, and his face fell just as your heart did, reaching up to wipe his nose as he turned his face back towards the road.

“Are you high?”

Rafe didn’t answer, opening and closing his mouth, but his silence was confirmation enough. You heaved a sigh, more disappointed than anything else.

“Rafe, pull over.”

He didn’t listen to you, hands tightening on the wheel, mind more than likely going a mile a minute.

“You know Sarah didn’t even have to come tonight? Nah, of course, you knew because she was with you, right?”

“She was,” you quietly confirmed, just focused on trying to get him to calm down.

Your boyfriend laughed at that, but it lacked humor, filled with bitterness instead.

“He’s already decided that she’ll turn out better than me. Already made his choice,” he forced out, and your chest tightened at the tears in his eyes. “I almost wish he’d just wash his hands of me and be done with it.”

“No-.”

“That’d be better than whatever this is,” he choked out. “At least I’d know where I stand.”

The trees were flying past you when you looked out of the window, and you swallowed.

“That’s because he hasn’t given up on you,” you tried to placate him, but you were also speaking your mind.

“Bullshit,” he sneered, shaking his head.

“Rafe, you need to slow down,” you told him, hand on his arm.

“He’s taking her to the Bahamas with him,” he choked out, ignoring your words. “Sarah. He’s taking her to talk about the company, but not me? His oldest? His only son?”

His eyes were on you, one hand grazing his chest, and you fought with him to keep his eyes on the road.

“Rafe…”

He was rambling, pupils blown and mind moving too fast for his lips to keep up with. Your heart raced when you glanced at the speedometer, and again, you tried to get him to pull over or at least slow down. You wiped his face, but it was like he didn’t fully register your presence, talking to you but not really seeing or hearing you.

“You’re the only one who’s on my side,” he tearfully told you, looking at you.

“Okay, okay, but Rafe, I need you to look at-.”

“The only one who actually cares about me and what I want.”

“I know,” you whispered, nodding with him. “…but I really need you to keep your eyes on the road.”

He glanced at the road, but that didn’t last long, his gaze returning to you.

“…and I don’t know what I would do without you, because you actually listen to me…and you see how he treats me…and you’re always there…”

His words became background noise when you glanced at the road again, watching as his truck drifted into the other lane again. You almost pulled your eyes away when headlights caught your attention. Your eyes widened, hands tightening on him as you let out a gasp.

“Rafe!”

Your scream had him following your gaze, and he was quick to swerve back into his lane, but between the coke and the panic, he overcorrected.

You braced your hands against the glove compartment as the truck dipped down off of the road, the speed at which Rafe was driving causing it to flip completely. You squeezed your eyes shut just as the sound of breaking glass reached your ears, and you could feel Rafe’s arm pressing against your chest.

A scream was stuck in your throat, stomach flipping in time with the vehicle. One of your hands was clinging to Rafe’s arm, the other to your seatbelt, now. You were gritting your teeth so hard it was a wonder they didn’t break, and as the truck rolled again, your head hit the inside of the passenger door. Even with your eyes closed, stars clouded your vision.

His truck came to an abrupt stop when the tail end of it hit a tree, a startled gasp escaping you. The ringing in your ears was loud, and your eyes were still closed, not quite remembering how to open them. Adrenaline was coursing through you, and you knew that once it disappeared, everything was going to hit your body at once.

When you peeled your eyes open, the first thing you noticed was that your vision swam. You could hear Rafe stumbling out of the truck, and you could barely keep everything from swaying. You blinked, reaching up to touch your head just as Rafe opened your door. He was saying something to you, but you couldn’t quite make it out.

He reached over you, undoing your seatbelt and practically carrying you out.

“Does anything hurt? Y/N?” he called your name when you didn’t answer.

“I don’t…I don’t know,” you honestly answered as he set you on your feet.

You brought your hand up, noticing the blood on it, and your mind didn’t register how alarming that was. Rafe’s hands were on your face, forcing you to look at him.

“Look at me,” he whispered, lightly tapping your face when your lashes fluttered. “Baby, look at me.”

The world was tilting again, and he caught you when your knees buckled. You could hear his heart racing in his chest, hear him swallow as he held you to him.

“Okay, okay,” he breathed. “We’re going to get you to the hospital. I’m calling Topper.”

“You can’t…you can’t come,” you slowly exhaled.

Rafe paused with the phone in his hand, frowning at you. He helped you stand up straight, leaning you against his truck. He looked at you like you were crazy, some blood on his cheek from where some glass got him.

“What are you…?”

“You’re high,” his voice trailed off when you spoke, pointing out the obvious to him.

You watched his face fall, the realization hitting him, and he licked his lips. Rafe glanced away, expression troubled before shaking his head.

“I don’t care-.”

“Rafe,” your voice held more conviction, now. “You crashed your truck. You almost caused a really bad accident…and you’re high.”

He opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the words to argue with you.

“Please… You can’t come with me,” you struggled to say. “Let Topper take me, and I’ll just meet you back at your house.”

Rafe ran one hand through his hair, a deep frown on his face.

“I can’t just leave you-.”

“I will meet you back at your house,” you tried to stand on your own, but swayed again, and his arms wrapped around your waist. “Call Sarah. Just tell her…I got into an accident, and I’ll come back with her.”

Rafe looked like he wanted to argue so badly, lips pressed together and tears in his eyes, but he knew you were right. They would ask him all kinds of questions, check him out too, and you didn’t want to think about what would happen, what Ward would say. He leaned you against him while he called Topper, routinely shaking you to keep you awake.

“Oh my God,” Sarah cried, pulling you into a hug.

You had paperwork in your hand as you hugged her back. Her arms were tight around you, and when you visibly flinched, she was quick to let you go. You hated hospitals, and you were relieved that you could finally go.

“When Rafe said you got into an accident, we all thought the worst,” she said.

You were pulling away from John B. now when Pope pulled you into a hug next.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Kie whispered, hands on your face. “What happened? They wouldn’t tell us anything.”

You sighed, licking your lips and avoiding their eyes.

“I was driving Rafe’s truck…when this car just came out of nowhere.”

It hurt to shrug, and your eyes met JJ’s then. He was frowning at you, studying your face, but he pulled you into a hug anyway. He deeply inhaled, breathing you in, and you didn’t want to think about how worried they’d all been. Especially JJ who struggled to let you go.

“You were driving Rafe’s truck by yourself?” John B. wondered, and you pulled away from JJ.

You hesitated, but Pope spoke before you could think about what you were going to say.

“You’re fine though, right?”

“Yeah,” you were quick to answer. “They said I have a slight concussion, but they gave me something for it and said that someone will need to monitor me for the next 12-24 hours. Watch me sleep. Wake me up every few hours and ask me questions, stuff like that.”

JJ was still frowning at you when you glanced at him again, and you quickly looked away.

“Of course,” Sarah said, taking your hand and guiding you out of the hospital. “Even if Rafe wasn’t frantic about you, you’d still be staying at my place, tonight.”

“Yeah, why wasn’t Rafe with you? And why didn’t he come to the hospital?”

You struggled to answer Kie’s question as you slid into the passenger seat of her jeep. The rest piled into the back seat, Sarah on John B.’s lap, but the Camerons’ house wasn’t far, so it wasn’t a big deal.

“Ward,” was all you could come up with, a lie.

It was a lie that was easy enough to believe, you supposed. However, when you looked in the mirror, your gaze meeting JJ’s, that frown was still on his face.

“Ward wouldn’t let Rafe come and see his girlfriend at the hospital after she crashed his car?”

You could tell by JJ’s tone that he didn’t believe you, and you looked out of the window.

“I guess not…”

You had only lost consciousness once during the hours that you’d spent at the hospital, waking up an hour later and waiting on an update on how you were. You had texted Rafe as soon as you knew, promising him that you would see him later. Even after Topper had arrived, you had spent a good fifteen minutes in Rafe’s yard convincing him to stay.

What had happened was an accident, a genuine accident, and Rafe felt bad enough without getting into serious trouble for driving under the influence. You felt sick to your stomach for lying to your friends about something so serious, but you knew how they would react. You knew that they would make it into something bigger.

Rafe’s truck was totaled, and you had to go to the hospital. There was no doubt in your mind that Rafe knew how badly he messed up. He didn’t need to hear it from them too.

They said their goodbyes when you and Sarah hopped out of Kie’s car, but they were cut short when JJ hopped out too. You thought that maybe he was getting in the front, taking your spot, but you frowned when he walked towards you. His blue eyes raked over you, taking in the cut on the side of your head and the slight bruising under your eye.

A sinking feeling grew in your gut.

“Rafe picked you up from movie night…”

You blinked, fighting to hold his gaze.

“So, how did you end up in his truck alone?”

“JJ,” you heard Kie sigh, frustration and disappointment coloring her tone.

“We all know what Rafe is like. Ward’s not gonna stop him from doing what he wants to do…” your heart sank. “So, why wasn’t he at the hospital with you? Why didn’t he at least meet you there? Hmm?”

You swallowed, unsure if it was the concussion or medicine or combination of both that kept you from coming up with an answer. JJ stared at you, and you stared at him, almost pleadingly as you silently begged him to let it go. JJ swiped his tongue along his lips, eyes dimming as he dropped his head, nodding to himself.

When he lifted his gaze to meet yours again, there was a small smile on his pink lips, but it lacked humor.

“Rafe was driving…wasn’t he?”

You didn’t answer, and your silence caused Sarah to look at you. You avoided her gaze, keeping your own on JJ as he did the same to you.

“Wait…what?” you heard Kie say.

She hurriedly got out of her car, followed by Pope and John B. now.

“Wait, wait,” Sarah finally spoke, hands up. “No. If Rafe was driving, he would’ve been at the hospital. He wouldn’t just leave her.”

“No, I don’t think he would,” JJ seemed reluctant to admit. “Unless someone made him.”

“JJ, that doesn’t make any sense,” John B. told him.

“It does if she’s protecting him,” he said with a shrug.

You rolled your eyes towards the sky at that, feeling angry even though you knew you had no right to be. It’s not like JJ was wrong, and it’s not like he was doing anything wrong by pointing out what you’d tried to hide. He was just being a good friend…but you hated him for it.

“JJ…”

“Let me guess…drunk…?”

“No,” Sarah quietly mumbled, in disbelief.

You crossed your arms over your chest, avoiding your friends’ eyes.

“No, wait, this is Rafe we’re talking about. So…high, right?”

When your tearful eyes met his again, the blond nodded, both satisfied and disappointed. The silence was loud, and you didn’t know what to say. You could feel all of them staring at you, and you licked your lips. Pope called your name, and you blinked, a few tears escaping as you looked at him.

“It was an accident,” you whispered to him, looking between all of them as they reacted. “It was an accident.”

“Are you kidding me?” Kie cried. “Look at you!”

“You act like he got behind the wheel with the intention of crashing his truck,” you argued. “He didn’t mean to!”

“He didn’t mean to? That’s the best you’ve got?”

Your head was hurting, and you didn’t pop enough pills to deal with this. You made your way towards the house, but you could hear footsteps right behind you. It should’ve come as no surprise that it was JJ.

“I am trying,” was the first thing he said when he forced you to face him. “I promised that I would be better, and I am trying, but you have to meet me halfway.”

You opened your mouth, but he continued.

“What am I supposed to say—do when you wind up in the hospital with bruises and a concussion because your boyfriend snorted a few lines of coke and thought it was a good idea to drive? Tell me how I’m supposed to react to that.”

You were at a loss for words…because he was right. JJ had every right to be angry, and that’s what you hated the most. You opened and closed your mouth, unsure of what to say when his attention was drawn elsewhere. You heard the door open, and you turned to Rafe, blinking at the cut on his cheek and bruising on his forehead.

“See?”

You turned around, watching as JJ gestured to Rafe, looking between him and your friends. Sarah’s expression was the only one you could focus on, the disappointment and anger in her eyes evident as she glared at her brother.

“JJ-.”

“What is wrong with you?” he interrupted, gaze focused on Rafe. “Aside from the obvious-.”

“JJ!”

He wasn’t paying you any attention, all of it reserved for your boyfriend. You both heard and felt Rafe come closer, his chest grazing your back.

“This isn’t any of your business,” Rafe quietly told him, his hand on your arm.

“You put my best friend in the hospital, and I’m not allowed to say anything?”

“JJ, please…”

John B. and Pope were near him now, worriedly looking between him and Rafe.

“Look at you,” he snapped, his gaze meeting yours now. “When Topper called Sarah, he said you could barely walk.”

You blinked, unaware that Topper had called Sarah too.

“Why are you defending him? Is it the concussion? Is that it?”

You blanched, pressing yourself against Rafe as he attempted to move closer.

“Do not talk to her like that,” your boyfriend threatened, tone icy.

“As opposed to what? Driving her into a tree?”

Rafe was silent when JJ looked at him, and you exhaled.

“JJ, it was an accident,” you reiterated.

“He could’ve killed you.”

He wasn’t looking at you as he said this, but at Rafe, and you glanced over your shoulder when he didn’t say anything. Rafe’s jaw was clenched, eyes softening some at JJ’s words. Your heart sank because you could tell that they got to him, Rafe unable to say anything back…because it was true. And he agreed. You watched him swallow, tearfully looking away before gently rubbing your back.

“I’ll be inside,” he quietly told you.

You stared after him, fighting back tears before facing JJ again.

“You don’t think he feels bad enough?”

“He should,” JJ sneered. “You could’ve died! Do you get that?”

“Yes, I do!” you screamed, and Sarah was beside you now, pulling you back some. “…but you’re acting like he did this on purpose. He didn’t mean to.”

JJ stared at you for what felt like too long, an expression you couldn’t place taking over his features.

“You know who you sound like?” he finally asked, voice low. “Me.”

“JJ,” John B. warned, and you frowned in confusion.

Your brows knitted together, unsure of what he meant as he just…looked at you.

“You sound just like me…making excuse after excuse…when I show up on your doorstep…”

Your eyes widened, understanding washing over you, and JJ’s head snapped to the side when you struck him. Sarah was pulling you back, and you were so in shock that she did it with ease. Your hand stung, and your mouth fell open as you stared at the blond. Kie looked just as shocked as you felt as Pope held JJ back.

“Rafe is nothing like your dad,” you slowly sneered. “If you even knew…”

You trailed off, taking a deep breath and swallowing. Your chest hurt so much, disgusted that JJ would even think such a thing.

“You wouldn’t even make that comparison.”

“…and yet here we are, fighting because I dared to point out that your boyfriend did a shitty thing…and almost killed you in the process.”

You blinked, more tears falling as JJ shrugged at you. John B. urged him away, begging him to ‘come on’. Kie and Pope threw you apologetic looks, and you barely registered the sound of Sarah’s voice as she pulled you inside. You couldn’t stop crying, no matter how much you tried, and she gave you a paper towel once you got inside.

She rubbed your back, staring at you as you repeatedly wiped your face.

“Sarah,” you choked out. “I’m not…I’m not stupid…am I?”

You looked at her, and she frowned at you.

“No, of course not,” she said with a shake of her head.

“It was an accident…”

Her face fell at that, lips pressing together. She took a deep breath, glancing away.

“Yeah…it-it was…”

You eyed her, carefully watching her expression.

“…but…?”

She held your gaze, her own expression very serious.

“Rafe could’ve killed you.”

Your lips trembled again at that, and you looked away.

“I’m sorry, but I’m on JJ’s side with this one,” she admitted, making more tears fall. “No, I don’t agree with him comparing Rafe to his dad. That… He shouldn’t have done that, but Rafe got high…he let you get into his truck…and he almost killed you both.”

You swallowed.

“That’s not good,” she whispered. “…and I know it was an accident. I know that, because Rafe would never go out of his way to hurt you, but…”

She gave a humorless chuckle.

“That doesn’t make it better.”

You stumbled back, falling onto the couch and pressing your hands to your eyes.

“He didn’t mean to,” you repeated, shaking your head.

You felt Sarah sit down beside you, rubbing your back and arms.

“I know,” she sighed. “I know.”

You rested your head on her shoulder, squeezing your eyes shut as she held you.

When you got out of Rafe’s shower, he was nowhere to be found. You had stolen one of his shirts, skin still damp as you peeked into the hall for any sign of him. You didn’t see him, but you did hear his voice coming from downstairs. It was only when you made it to the stairs that you realized he wasn’t alone.

Sarah’s voice was clear.

“You know, I rarely agree with JJ on anything…”

You sat down on a step, defeated as you realized what they were talking about.

“…but he was right…and you know it.”

“I don’t need shit from you, okay?” Rafe drawled.

They were in the kitchen, out of sight, but their voices made it sound like they were right next to you.

“You could’ve killed her.”

You looked down at Sarah’s words, swallowing as your gaze focused on your feet.

“…and I know that you’ve been hearing that all night, but you’re going to hear it a few more times.”

Sarah’s voice was thick, choked up with emotion, and you felt tears kiss your eyes.

“When I gave her my blessing to date you, I did it because I trusted you with her,” she harshly whispered. “…I thought you’d be different…better.”

“I am!”

“You’re still doing the same shit you always do, Rafe! Only this time, you’re taking her with you,” Sarah argued. “You wanna snort coke until your whole nose is gone? Fine. You want to drink yourself into an early grave? Whatever, but leave her out of it.”

You brought your knees to your chest.

“I saw the truck. I went with dad when he had it collected,” she whispered. “You both were extremely lucky.”

You heard Rafe sniff, and you fought the urge to go in there and wrap your arms around him.

“I fucked up. I know that, okay?” Rafe mumbled. “You don’t think I knew that when I had to basically pull her out of my truck? When she kept falling? When I didn’t want her to close her eyes because I didn’t know if she’d open them again?”

You slowly stood, feeling like you shouldn’t be listening to this.

“I’m going to do better,” he shakily whispered to Sarah. “I promise, I am.”

“You better,” Sarah bit out. “…because if anything happens to my best friend, JJ will be the least of your problems.”

“Trust me, JJ doesn’t need a reason to start fights with me…”

“…and yet you just gave him the perfect reason,” Sarah scoffed. “He’s never going to let this go…”

Sarah’s words faded as you got up and went back to Rafe’s room.

She was right, they all were right, and you hated it. What Rafe had done was serious, you knew that, and you knew that no matter how many times you repeated that it was an accident, it wouldn’t change anything. Rafe hadn’t gotten high just to get high, and you wished they could understand the effect Ward had on him.

It wasn’t an excuse, just a reason.

You still thought about the hurt and shock you’d felt when JJ compared Rafe to his dad. It wasn’t even remotely the same, and the memory made your chest clench painfully. Aside from that though, you knew that JJ had every right to be as angry as he was, and you hated more than anything that he had another reason to hate Rafe.

When Rafe came back to his room, he found you sitting cross-legged on his bed. You perked up at the sight of him, smiling, and he weakly returned it. He swallowed when you held your hand out, and reluctantly, he took it, allowing you to pull him closer.

“You didn’t mean to…”

Rafe gave a bitter laugh.

“That’s what scares me.”

You frowned, taking a deep breath.

“Things happen, Rafe…and it was an accident.”

“An accident that almost killed you.”

You pulled him down beside you, brushing your lips against the corner of his mouth. You wrapped yourself around him, holding him close.

“Rafe…please, please, please don’t beat yourself up over this…please,” you choked out.

There were tears in your eyes when he refused to look at you, dirty blond strands hanging into his face.

“I’m not good enough for you.”

His voice was barely a whisper, and you took his chin, forcing him to meet your gaze. You hated the troubled look in his eyes.

“That’s not for you to decide.”

He didn’t respond to that, only nodding in defeat, not putting up a fight when you pulled him to lay down with you. When you kissed him, he seemed hesitant to kiss you back, your hands on his as you guided them over your skin. At some point, he didn’t need your help, fully being hit with the knowledge that things could’ve gone so wrong. Rafe was afraid to let you go, and even after you came around him for the third time, he still refused to let you go.

[saigethearies]

saige’s terrortober presents…

break

a heartbreaking betrayal leads you to seek comfort from the very person that plunged you into this nightmare.

serial killer!keiji akaashi x fem!reader

contents/warnings: murder and extremely dubious consent, reader goes through a trauma and starts making questionable decisions, angst, oral (m!receiving), pussyjob, unprotected vaginal sex, slight bondage, praise, reader’s ankle gets a lil hurt but she’s okay, blood, slight yandere(?)

wc: 2.9k

18+ MINORS DNI

it was supposed to be the best weekend of the year.

you, your boyfriend, and all of your shared friends had been planning this getaway since last year. everyone ensured to get the time off, saved up to get the nicer rental, even splurged on a pontoon boat to be able to piddle around on the water. this lake trip was supposed to be one for the books.

you supposed it still technically would be.

you just didn’t think it would be something straight out of a horror novel.

slowly, you made your way through the hall, grateful for the homeowner’s decision to carpet the upstairs so that your footsteps could be muffled- even though much of said carpet was now stained red. you kept your eyes trained straight ahead, refusing to look into the bathroom on the left even though you could still see the limp body of one of your friends in your peripheral.

you had to save all your tears for later. if you broke down too soon, there’s a big chance you wouldn’t be getting back up. he’d make sure of that.

the wine cellar is how he must have snuck in. your group had read about in the list of amenities, but no one bothered to notice that it had a door that led outside. it was the only entrance to the house that wouldn’t have been locked. one small act of negligence and now your vacation home had been turned into a hunting ground.

you weren't sure how many of your friends were still alive. out of your original group of eight, you’d passed three bodies so far. it was out of pure luck that you managed to escape his onslaught of the second floor. you hid the second you heard your friend’s bloodcurdling scream after she’d left to go shower. dashing into one of the vacant bedrooms and yanking the window open, you’d perched yourself on the roof outside while listening to his heavy footsteps explore the room. you’d never felt so terrified in your entire life. the term ‘frozen in fear’ didn’t do it justice. it felt as if liquid nitrogen was circulating through your veins.

as soon as the coast felt clear, you quietly slid through the window and padded into the hall, bringing you to your current whereabouts.

a pained yell pierced the stillness that had blanketed the house, sounding off from somewhere near the kitchen downstairs. you paused near the top of the stairs, huddling up against the wall to stay out of view in case he happened to pass by. you couldn’t help but wonder which of your friends was the one getting butchered this time, morbid curiosity bringing a cloudiness to your frantic eyes.

you squeezed them shut. crying comes later, remember?

you couldn’t hear the shouting from below anymore, and you took a deep breath to gather your wits. you needed to find your boyfriend. you cared deeply for everyone here, but the love of your life needed to come first. this is the man you were discussing spending forever with, starting a family with, growing old together with.

even if you did make it out alive, you wouldn’t truly survive unless he did too.

there was only one clear escape route. he had already slashed everyone’s tires, so the cars weren’t an option. however, the pontoon boat was out of view, hidden within the boathouse out back. there’s a possibility he didn’t know it was there, meaning that a water getaway was your best chance at the moment.

which also meant that to get to the backyard, you needed to go downstairs. where the killer was.

every muscle in your body was trying to lock up, refusing to carry your legs down into imminent danger. your brain knew better, however. you needed to move.

wobbly legs took you down the first few steps, stopping for a second to try and tame the shakes wracking you. it was during that pause that you saw movement in one of the living room windows that gave you a view into the backyard.

it was your boyfriend.

he was creeping through the patio with his roommate, one of them monitoring the inside of the house while the other kept his eyes on the boathouse. they must share the idea that you have about an escape. you couldn’t help the smile that came onto your face. your lover was always on the same page as you. even when facing disaster, you proved you were perfect for each other.

you were prompted to move forward again now that you saw fellow survivors, this time moving swiftly. not seeing him in the surrounding area at the bottom of the staircase, you dashed to the backdoor, opening it as fast as you could without making too much noise.

“babe!” you called softly, stepping onto the patio.

your boyfriend turned to look at you, an expression in your eyes that you couldn’t quite grasp. he frantically beckoned you forward, his roommate having an impatient look on his face. you didn’t take it personally. everyone was petrified right now.

you ran towards them, joining them in the middle of the yard. the boathouse was just down the gentle slope of the yard. you could easily reach it in under a minute, especially with how fast everyone seemed to be moving. safety wasn’t too far away.

that glimmer of hope crashed along with the bloodied body that was sent careening into your group. the three of you scattered, your eyes tearing up at the wounded, torn version of your former classmate laying crumpled on the ground before you.

another thump sounded off to the right of you, and you turned to see him now standing directly behind your boyfriend. he had jumped down from the second-story balcony, when he’d gotten there, you had no clue. what you did have a clue about was that your lover was in serious trouble, because your attacker was raising his ax.

“oh, fuck!” your boyfriend’s roommate screamed. “behind you!”

he turned around just in time to see his assailant swinging his ax down, blade aimed straight for your boyfriend’s neck.

your brain hadn’t even registered your movements, deep ingrained need to protect your loved one leading you to grip one of the folding lawn chairs in your hand. you ran towards him, not even caring for the fact he could overpower you easily, and flung the chair against him with all of your might. you watched his steely blue eyes widen in surprise, clearly not used to having someone fight back, his balance breaking as he stumbling backwards, ax now lodging into the ground near your boyfriend’s feet.

a victorious grin broke out on your face. you did it! you saved your man!

the three of you took off towards the boathouse, wind whipping your hair as you ran faster than you ever had in your life. your group had a headstart of a few seconds, the killer having to unstick his ax from the grass. he was able to gain on you shortly after, though, and you figured this man had to have some sort of athletic background. no average man could pull off the feats you’d seen him do with ease.

you could see the pontoon boat, the two men a few steps ahead of you already within reach of it.

almost th-

crack!

your foot must’ve landed on a dry-rotted piece of wood, a panel of the boathouse dock breaking and sending your foot below the floor, stuck.

hearing the sound of something breaking, your boyfriend turned to see your predicament. you saw him pause, turning towards you slightly.

“help me!” you cried, eyes locked on his.

he began to take a step towards you, about to come rescue you like you had him not too long ago, until his roommate’s voice yelled out to him.

“dude, we have to fucking go now! there’s no time, leave her.”

when the words reached you, your heart dropped.

and then, when you saw the guilt come onto your boyfriend’s face as he turned and clambered onto the boat with his friend, your heart broke.

the sound of an engine whirring sent your ears ringing, watching the two of them speed away from the hell they’d willingly left you in.

your chest tightened, breathing becoming jagged as the reality of your situation tightened around you like a python squeezing its prey to death.

he left you.

the man you were supposed to marry, to have children with, to sit on front porch rocking chairs with years from now, left you to get picked off so that he could escape. after you’d risked your own life to rush at a murderer to save his.

the burning started at the corners of your eyes, spreading through your lashline before it became so unbearable that you shut your eyes, face scrunching as the drops began their descent down your cheeks.

you saw so much death, so much bloodshed, yet held it all in for the sake of being reunited with your love amidst the chaos.

for the first time that dreadful night, you allowed yourself to cry.

the sobs that wracked your body left your whole frame weak, body slumping towards the dock as you fell onto your knees, not even bothering with your foot still trapped under the wood. it wouldn’t make a difference, anyway. your biggest motivation to survive just cut you deeper than he ever could. there was no fight left in you.

god, you just hoped he’d make it quick. yet, after you threw a fucking chair at him earlier, you figured that wouldn’t be the case. damn, why did the events have to unfold like this?

you wondered what you did to deserve this?

apparently, someone else seemed to be having a similar thought.

“what a selfish bastard,” the voice, cold and cutting said from behind you. if you weren’t so numb, you probably would have flinched when you felt his hand come onto the top of your head. “you poor thing, you didn’t deserve that.”

his tone took on a sort of sympathetic note, confusion forming in your jumbled mind. was he trying to mock you? add insult to injury before he hacks into you over and over again?

the feeling of this thumb gently stroking the top of your forehead brought you to, blinking your tears away as he kneeled down beside you. his other hand then dropped his ax, fingers coming to grip your chin so gently that you almost were sent into denial that these were the same appendages shredding your friends earlier.

you hated how the word “beautiful” came to mind when you saw his stormy eyes, blood streaked all over an admittedly handsome face. the softness that had come across his features had you even more puzzled. he was trying to mock you, right?

“you’re such a sweet thing,” he said, crimson coated hands continuing to delicately hold your head, as if he knew you were fragile right now. you could feel the warm stickiness from his fingers getting onto your face.

“not many people have the courage to face me,” he said with a small chuckle as if he was taking a quick stroll down memory lane, reminiscing on all the people he’d hunted before. “but you did, because you were trying to help someone. i’ve seen so many people show their true colors while facing death, and none of them have been as good-natured as yours. you should be proud of yourself.”

your stomach started to sink.

his rambling sounded genuine. he wasn’t mocking you, he actually felt bad for you. the fucking murderer felt sorry for you, that’s how screwed over you just got.

and worst of all, his words were actually comforting you.

his palms moved to cup your tear-stained cheeks, you leaning one of them into his touch absentmindedly. so warm.

“he-” you hiccupped on another sob. “he left me. for dead.”

a frown came onto his face as he began to shush your cries, thumbs wiping your tears away, painting your cheeks scarlet. “not for dead, sweetheart. you’re good. i don’t kill good girls.”

you blinked, swallowing slowly as you replayed his words over and over again. “you…you don’t?”

“mhm,” he hummed. “like i said, true colors, angel. a lot of the people i’ve taken out were just as shitty as me. i just can’t be bothered to hide it anymore.”

maybe it was the care he was treating you with, or the nice words, or the fact that he was honestly gorgeous, but whatever it was made his words start to make sense in your scattered mind.

his attention turned to your stuck foot, moving to lift it out from under the wood. he examined your ankle closely. “it might be sprained, but i don’t think it’s broken. try not to put any pressure on it, yeah?”

he scooped you up with ease, holding you in his arms as if you were something precious to him. the two of you looked at the purple and pink hues of the sunset, spotting the departed pontoon boat that was now a mere speck on the horizon of the water.

“some people are so cruel,” he said with distaste, as if the onslaught he’d unleashed upon your friends earlier had been anything other than cruel itself. you should have made a note of the irony, but instead you leaned your head against his chest.

you found yourself gently laid down on one of the deck chairs near the boathouse, the man remaining standing as he came to your side, your face level with his waist.

“you were so good earlier,” he said, tipping your head back with his fingers to look up at him. “be good for me one more time and i’ll reward you, yeah?”

he began to undo his belt, and you should have screamed. cried. felt disgusted at his implications. but instead, you nodded your head, staring up at him like he had designed the constellations himself. he had been so kind to you, so comforting, during your lowest point. how could you deny him?

he took the leather belt he just removed and wrapped it around your wrists, keeping them tied in front of you. he chuckled. “just a precaution, sweetheart. you did hit me with a chair earlier.”

you watched on in awe as he pushed his pants and briefs down enough to free his cock, which was as pretty as the rest of him with a flushed pink tip.

“open up, sweetheart.”

you did as you were told, accepting his hard length into your mouth and sucking. he kept a grip on your chin, moving your head up and down his dick the way he wanted. you kept running your tongue along the underside as you were bobbed, drinking in the pleased sighs you heard above you.

“so good,” he breathed out. “so good, such a good girl.”

he started to move you faster, cock slipping in and out of your mouth rapidly as his high neared. he suddenly stilled, removing himself from between your lips.

“did great, sweetheart,” the praise sent tingles down your spine. “but i only like to cum in a pussy, so it’s time for your reward.”

removing his pants the rest of the way, he pulled your own little shorts off.

“sir-”

“keiji,” he corrected. “you can call me keiji.”

“o-okay,” you said. “keiji, are you gonna…you know…”

“what is it, sweetheart? don’t be shy, you can ask.”

“are you gonna prep me?”

he gave you a small smile. “of course i can get your pussy a little wet first, angel.”

he peeled your panties off, bringing his hard cock between your folds and starting to rub between them. the sensation was new to you, little moans leaving your lips. he held your hips in place, bloody fingerprints marring your skin as he continued to slide between your labia.

his cockhead started to hit your clit, increasing the volume of your sounds as the pleasure started to build in your gut.

feeling all the slick gathering on his dick, akaashi figured you were ready for him. ceasing his movements, he positioned himself at your entrance. “alright, pretty girl. deep breath.”

he felt so good filling you up, giving your walls a delectable stretch as he bottomed out in your soaked cunt. you watched him take a deep breath.

“never felt a pussy this good. you truly are special, aren’t you?”

he set a pace that was deep and steady, cradling your head against his chest as he speared you repeatedly. pants and mewls left you, his cock feeling so amazing, the nirvava it provided being the perfect distraction from your heartbreak. the calm after the horrific storm you experienced earlier, brain too weary to care that the very person providing the satisfaction was the hailstorm himself.

it didn’t matter.

nothing you thought you knew mattered anymore.

all that mattered was how good keiji made you feel, a particularly hard thrust leaving you shaking and cumming around him.

you didn’t even realize you were crying until he was cooing at you, rubbing his hand against your back almost lovingly. you weren’t sure if it was your tears or your orgasm that pushed him over his own edge.

“you’ll be okay, sweetheart. i’ll make sure of it.”

_____

saige’s terrortober masterlist

[thepublishingpress]

the fire burns so bright (until i cannot hide)

Sokka always feels like he has something to prove.

From being a worthy son, a strong warrior, to a wise leader.

But there is something else that he yearns to prove, in his heart of hearts, buried deep.

He wants to prove that he isn’t a monster.

He’s not like them.

His father tells him, again and again, I know you are not like them, I know you would never do that, never betray us.

I know, I know, I know.

But it all feels fake.

It always feels fake.

Sokka knows that in the elders’ hearts, in some of the mens’ hearts, maybe even in his parents’ hearts, they fear him.

They are terrified of what he can do.

And beside him, beside his flame that he can push to the surface and burn this place to the ground, is a blue-faced figure, standing tall, silent and watchful.

But Katara doesn’t know this.

He didn’t know this, for a time.

No one knows this, except for the elders, his parents, and some of the men.

And he was fine with that, he was fine with his powers.

Until they took his mother away.

After, he always felt stares, crawling up his body, 

The judgement, the renewed suspicion.

And so, is it really any surprise that one night, feeling alone, and bitter, and isolated, he cries?

He tries not to cry too loud, to avoid waking Katara or Gran-gran or even Dad and causing them to fly into a panic, muffling his sobs with his parka.

He stops, though, when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

He flinches, and opens his mouth, prepared to shoo away Katara or maybe even Dad, but stops, freezing when he sees its face.

A blue face, marked with intimidating snow-white fangs.

His mother had always told him he was blessed by a spirit, but Sokka had never bought it. After all, the spirits and the Avatar abandoned the world, so why should they care about him? A fire child, an ashmaker.

But here one of them was, crouching next to him.

“Who are you?” Sokka whispers, because he would really like some answers.

The spirit tilts its– his? –head and says, “I do not know. I do not remember. All know is that I am is your protector.”

“I’ll give you your name,” Sokka decides, “The Blue Spirit.” He chooses to call him.

“I like that name,” He tells Sokka, “But now, will you tell me about your pain, child of the flame?”

Sokka blinks. That subject change was very fast. But he supposed Blue was like that. Quick, to the point. Sokka scooches closer to his supposed guardian. “It’s just that I’m Water Tribe,” Sokka confesses, and spirits does it feel good to let this out. “We’re all about, um, watery stuff you know? And I’m, well, like you said, a ‘child of the flame.’”

Blue seems very thoughtful, placing his hand under his chin. “You are Water Tribe by birth, but fire flows through your veins,” He muses to himself. “Agni certainly loves to play such games.”

“I just wish Agni hadn’t picked me.” Sokka complains.

Blue chuckles, only for a bit. “No one, not even most spirits, would like to get caught it Agni’s web of odd games.” He agrees.

Sokka grins at him. “At least I have you now.”

And that was the beginning.

~

When the Fire Princess came, Sokka was terrified. 

He felt ready to run and to hide, but he felt and cold hand on his shoulder, and resolve filled him once more. 

He put on the face paint.

And was instantly knocked down.

Sokka tumbled through the snow, and there was his presence again. He’s taking this guardian role very seriously, Sokka thinks in the back of his head as Katara rushes towards him.

Then the tiny 12-year old boy came, and sacrificed himself to keep their village safe.

Katara tells him they have to find him, and that she doesn’t care if he doesn’t want to, because she’ll go anyway.

(But Sokka, being the genius he is, had the forethought to get a boat before Katara even opened her mouth.)

~

When Sokka had tried to show-off to the Kyoshi Girls, he did have his reasons.

They were dumb reasons, but reasons nonetheless. 

He was also definitely not expecting to be humiliated, the girls laughing at him, and the hot burn of shame scalding him like heated water as he leaves.

But he remains curious as to how they fought, the fluid motions interesting him.

So, later, he approaches the leader– at least, the person he assumes to be the leader– and asks her to teach him.

He humbly kneels down and says, “I’m sorry for what I said,” He apologizes. “I would be honored to be taught by you.”

Suki raises an eyebrow. “Really?” She asks, skepticism dripping off her voice. “You be willing to be taught by a girl?”

Sokka bobs his head. “Of course.”

She smirks. “And you swear to follow all of our traditions?”

“Yes.” Sokka agrees.

Her smirk grows wider, which, honestly, should have put up some red flags for Sokka. “Just so you know, I do mean all of them.”

Sokka didn’t understand until he put on the dress.

Sokka grimaced as he twirled around a little. “It’s a dress,” He complains. “I can’t fight in a dress!”

“It’s not a dress,” Suki says patiently. “It’s our armor.” When the slight pout was still on his face, she says, “Hey, listen. That silk is for bravery, and gold for honor. Wear that with pride.”

Sokka pauses. Those things were good. Maybe it wasn’t so ba—

“Hey, Sokka! Nice dress!” Aang says cheerily, and Sokka knows it’s probably meant as a good thing, but spirits does he want to strangle Aang.

Sokka pulled a face. “Let’s just get this over with,” He says glumly.

He ends up getting knocked down again and again, over and over. He gets frustrated, throwing his fan into the wooden pillar.

Suki sighs. “Sokka, you don’t use brute force in this style of fighting,” She explains. “You use the enemy’s strength against them. Now,” She tugs the fan from the pillar and hands it over. “Try again.”

-

The peace Sokka was feeling was quickly disrupted, for Fire Princess Azula arrived.

She and her crew started attacking the Kyoshi Warriors. Azula was perhaps the most vicious in her methods, flipping Kyoshi Warriors, sending them flying. Sokka felt his heart beat, faster and faster. He flew into action, jumping forward, fighting with his fans, albeit a little clumsily.

But Azula sadly is able to knock him over as well. 

“You seem to be getting better,” She says mockingly. “For a peasant, I suppose.” She raises her fist to deal the finishing blow, but an invisible presence, and Sokka knows it’s Blue, drags him faster than any normal human could.

“Sokka!” Katara cries, rushing forward. “Come on! We have to leave.”

“But–” Sokka tries to say, but then Suki is there.

“You have to leave, Sokka” Suki tells him, and maybe his heart cracks a little here.

“Wait!” Sokka says, “I just wanted to say, I’m sorry for treating you like a girl when I should’ve treated you like a warrior.”

Suki smiles. “I may be a warrior,” She says softly, leaning forward and pecking him on the cheek, “But I’m a girl too.”

He blinks, but he can’t say anything in reply because Blue has started dragging him again.

Later, Aang confirms Sokka’s theory that the bald kid is absolutely insane because he rides the Unagi, that crazy serpent thing, and extinguishes all the fire.

He tries to talk with Blue about it later, but the spirit just huffs, and like a child, crosses his arms and looks away whenever Kyoshi Island is mentioned.

~

The first time Aang meet Blue, they tell him later, is when Sokka is kidnapped by Hei Bai.

Aang finds Blue in a panic, frantically searching for his chosen. The moment he sees Aang, Blue grips his shoulders and begs him to find Sokka.

As they search, Blue explains. “When the spirit kidnapped Sokka, they somehow separated me from him. I can’t– I can’t find him in here, the spirit is hiding him somewhere, I can’t–”

Aang places a comforting hand on Blue’s shoulder. “We’ll find him, don’t worry,” He promises, and Blue relaxes.

Meanwhile, Sokka is screaming as Hei Bai drags him away, kicking and struggling.

Hei Bai seems to quickly tire of this, tossing him away into the fog. 

Sokka hits the ground a bit too hard, and passes out.

-

Blue shakes him awake. When Sokka opens his eyes, Blue sighs with relief and hugs him tightly. 

“You’re alive,” Blue murmurs, his voice muffled by Sokka’s shirt. “I thought I failed and that– that you were gone forever–”

“But I’m not,” Sokka says gently, “I’m still here and sarcastic and incredibly as strong and manly as ever, Blue.”

Blue huffs. “Sure you are.”

(Things don't stay all chummy for long. Aang has a time limit, the comet, and then...)

~

When Sokka heard the screams of his little sister, he ran. 

She was crying, and crying hard as she ran away. Aang stood a few feet away, looking horrified. 

Sokka felt anger rising in his chest, breaths puffing out quicker. 

“What happened?!” Sokka screamed. “Who did this to my sister?”

“I did!” Aang said, voice cracking. “I'm sorry, I was practising firebending and it got out of control–”

And Sokka’s brain stopped. The words circled around in his head. 

Practising firebending, got out of control, practising firebending–

It got out of control. 

Sokka’s breathing quickened as he remembered the day he tried to firebend and Blue’s face had been burnt and Sokka had cried and cried and begged for forgiveness until Blue told him he was a spirit and he was fine and now this had happened to his sister. 

“Get out,” Sokka said, voice shaking. “Get. Out!”

And Aang obliges, running away. Sokka packs up Appa, rambling to Blue. 

His hands tremble as he places all their stuff. “I could have done that to Katara, Blue. I could have done that to anyone. I already did it to you!”

Blue sighs. “Let me do the packing, Sokka.” Blue says gently. 

“Why?! I'm fine! Completely fine! Totally focused.” Sokka exclaims. 

“Sokka, you're completely rattled. You're even tying up Momo.” Blue points out. 

Sokka realized this was quite true, and begrudgingly obliged. 

~

Sokka’s heart is quaking, because he has to hurry fast. 

He has to save these people.

He’s not what Jet said he was, he’s not an ashmaker, he’s not like those people that took his mom and Jet’s parents from them!

He’s good, and he repeats that to himself over and over.

(Somehow, it feels like a lie.)

But Blue is there, and it makes him feel good.

(But only a little.)

“Please!” He begs the town, “I’m not a spy! I’m serious! The dam will break, and your town will be flooded!”

The soldiers growl, coming closer at them with their very pointy spears. “Just look at your clothes!” One of them says in disgust. “Some other nation scum, I’ll wager. The Water Tribes certainly must be weak if they sent you.”

The others grumble in agreement.

Sokka might’ve been drowned with them, trying to convince them to listen, but someone steps forward.

“Listen to the boy!” An old man says, voice shaking from age. Sokka realizes it's the elderly man Jet tried to attack. “A crazed young man tried to attack me just because I was Fire Nation, even if I did no wrong against him! I certainly wouldn’t put it past him to blow this town to smithereens if given half the chance.”

The town evacuates almost immediately.

-

When he finds Katara and Aang, Katara is beating the living daylights out of Jet, tears forming at the corner of her eyes.

Sokka tells them all of the village’s survival. 

“You’re a traitor, Sokka!” Jet screams at him, “A traitor! You’re no better than the Fire Nation! You are an ashmaker!”

Katara looks murderous, but Sokka cuts in before she could say anything.

“No, Jet.” Sokka says calmly, though inside the words sting, “You became the traitor when you stopped protecting innocent people.”

-

“Sokka,” Katara says carefully as they leave, “Why did Jet call you an ‘ashmaker?’”

And now, he cannot hide anymore. He just opens his palms, and small flame flickers.

Katara gasps. “Sokka, you–”

“I know,” Sokka says shakily, “I know. I’m an– an ashmaker.”

“Sokka,” Katara whispers, “Don’t say that.”

And Katara hugs him, and so does Aang, and then Momo joins in and Appa lets out a little roar.

And, as always, there’s Blue. And even if Sokka can’t see his face, he thinks he’s smiling.

~

The Northern Water Tribe is disgusted by him.

Really, he should’ve expected it.

More awful and hateful words are thrown at him, especially by Hahn. They push him into the snow. 

Yue is the only one who doesn’t care.

She is nice to him, and finds his fire fascinating.

“Why?” Sokka asks. “Why do you like it?”

Yue pauses. “I am a non-bender,” She says softly. “And being a firebender is always better than being a non-bender. At least people take you seriously and they respect you. Even if in their heads they think you a monster.”

Sokka thought about that a while after, and realized it was true.

He and Yue talk a little more, and he realizes he’s falling for her, fast.

(He doesn’t see the angry aura radiating off Blue in massive waves when he figures this out.)

-

Sokka cries after the Siege.

He hates this, so much.

He hates Zhao, he hates the Sun Spirit, he hates–

He hates his firebending!

The hot tears of shame and hatred and grief rush out of his eyes.

And then there’s whispering sounds, going faster and faster until it suddenly stops and Blue appears.

Blue crouches in front of him, and grabs his chin.

Sokka stares into the seemingly soulless eyes.

(But Sokka knows there’s humanity in Blue. He knows how Blue reacted when Sokka got kidnapped.)

Blue carefully wipes Sokka’s tears away with his thumb.

“I know now,” Blue says. “I am not only your guardian. I am also to be your friend.”

Sokka cups Blue’s hand, which is now resting on his cheek.

“Thank you,” He whispers, and Sokka means it. “You give me more warmth than any burning flame.”

&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&

A/N: uhhh yeah it took a while- i decided to split this into the books bc i realized how lengthy some of the episodes would get (like the boiling rock for one. theres a reason its split into multiple parts.)

(also to see if anyone would like this lmao)

@ultfreakme as promised, it is here!

[adsosfraser]

always

everlark; post mockingjay; jealous katniss

The roof is leaking. 

The tin bucket rings with the tap tap tap of the evenly spaced droplets. 

The deluge of rain hit hard last night and it has me humming happily, excitement in my chest. 

I’ve always loved thunder. The way it rolls deep within my chest and echoes in the deep old bones of the mountains around us. I would squeal with each clap and reach up to catch it in our Seam home as my daddy smiled from his chipped armchair. We’d play a game of hopping from spot to spot on the floor at each rumble and though his eyes hung in deep dark circles from his shifts in the mines, my father never tired. Then, Prim was born and she was terrified of thunderstorms for a time. 

It’s just one leak in our shiny and spiffy Capitol made home that’s been standing for almost a century now though. Thom and his builders have much more important things on their minds than a tiny leak in our roof. 

Some people still don’t even have roofs. The make-shift canvas of the sturdy tents lining the district hardly constitute roofs. 

When the war began, the Capitol wasn’t quite as invested in the architecture in their dear sweet Victors’ homes. They couldn’t keep up their perfect veneer in District 12 when they obliterated it into the ground. The poor things. 

And besides, a little water didn’t hurt that much. In my father’s home, we had at least ten designated containers to catch the drip of rainfall. 

When I step outside into the morning, the sun is bright and clear in the sky. No trace of the ominous grey and green puffs above remains. The grass is wet and smells of rain. A small trickle of a stream has formed on the gravelly road, opposite our home. At least the geese have been subdued into some semblance of peace because of the storm. 

Peeta had left this morning before the sun even stretched out into the sky. Usually I would already be out in the woods too, or by his side watching him knead dough or wipe sweat off his brow. 

But, I couldn’t settle last night. Even in Peeta’s arms I was restless. And when my eyes finally drooped shut, a nightmare had found me. The giant crash of thunder that split the sky in two in the middle of the night woke me up. In my dreams all I heard were bombs and gunfire. It had reminded me of-

Peeta let me rest in this morning when he heard my grumpy grunt as I shoved my face under the pillows to hide from the sunlight. Not that he let me do anything. But he had gently tucked me back in and left a muffin on my nightstand for when I was ready. 

Part of me wanted to pull him back in by the shirt of his buttoned collar and waste away the day. But even my arms wouldn’t listen to my demands. The bed was so nice and I fell deep into the mattress covered in one of the sheets as Peeta left the fan to run for me. The cinnamon and dill buried deep within the fabric of his side made me feel like I was rocking on a boat, in a lake with gentle rolling waves in my head. 

Besides, we haven't even kissed since he returned to me almost four months ago. At first the chaos of finishing the important parts of the bakery and going through the final touches to get it up and running had us distracted. Now I’m not so sure he wants to kiss me. 

I kick the loose rocks littering my path to the bakery. They skip and hop and fling themselves in the air. One hits another rock and angles itself to launch at someone passing me clear across the street but their back is turned and they don’t even feel it ping off the heel of their boot. I mumble an apology to myself though, and feel the heat of shame caving in on me from every inch of air around me. 

Before I know it, I’m in front of the bakery. It was one of the first buildings up in Twelve. Everytime I see it my heart swells with pride for Peeta. Even though it’s just the bare bones now, I can see its future clear across every brick. The sign hangs proudly over the front. The ‘s’ in Mellark’s is slightly crooked and splotchy because of my shaky hands, but when Peeta began painting it with such excited and reverent hands, he insisted I contribute to at least one part of it. 

Normally, I never enter through the front door of the bakery. The back door has always been home to me in a way. The first time I ever came to the back doorstep, I was sitting tall on my father’s shoulders and happily babbling along to a tune he was singing. He and Mr. Mellark quickly exchanged two squirrels with a respectful nod and I mimicked them which put the trace of a laugh onto the baker’s weathered face.  

Now, I want to surprise Peeta as one of his customers. The bell of the door jingles as I walk through the door. No one mans the front counter so he must be in the back. 

“I’ll be with you shortly.” 

His voice carries through the opening to the room with the ovens and prep tables and my shoulders relax at his calm but steady voice. The way the bakery was built and rebuilt, it’s easy for him to call out to customers without having to yell. My lip twitches up into a soft smile and I pull out one of the chairs dotting the tables around the room. 

His clomping footsteps and another ring of the bell clash together in my mind. I look up to see the new customer, expecting someone from Thom’s crew but I instantly tense up at the sight. 

Her hair is coiled perfectly into ringlets around her face and a big fur coat rests on her shoulders. Her chest is unnaturally large and her bottom even more so. But she’s perfect, right down to her nails. Not a blemish in sight and her blonde hair shines with health and lustre. 

She’s big and pretty.

“Artementia!” 

Peeta’s shout pulls me from my scrutiny of the clearly Capitol woman. His steps are quick as he approaches her and wipes the flour off of his hands onto his apron. 

My head jerks back when he reaches for her across the counter and they embrace. His smile is brilliant and he doesn’t even notice me lurking in the corner. 

“Oh my dear.” They pull back from their hug and that woman kisses both of his cheeks, dangerously close to the corner of his mouth. “It’s been far too long.” 

“It really has Artie.” He squeezes her hand. “How have things been for you?” 

“Well why don’t we go and have lunch together? I’m sure you’ll be having your break soon anyway.” 

“It’s just me today, I’m not sure I can just close up shop for my lunch break.” 

“They can survive without you for an hour I’m sure. Just flip your little sign over and we can go to the opening of that restaurant down the street.” 

Peeta’s head turns to the back, searching a long moment for something. When he turns around, it seems he’s already made up his mind. He lets out a sigh before plastering his smile back on for the woman. 

“Well alright,” His hands work swiftly to unknot the apron around his waist and place it on the counter. “Sure wouldn’t want anyone else to give you the grand tour of our pristine district.” 

She places a hand over her chest and lets out a soft laugh and Peeta’s chest rumbles with a short chuckle. 

They walk over to the door, not even glancing my way as Peeta flips the sign on the door over to ‘closed’ and locks the door. Before the door smacks shut behind them, I shove it open and storm past them in the opposite direction. To the woods. 

The rock in my hand scatters to the ground. 

It was pretty and I thought Peeta would’ve enjoyed its smooth surface and swirling brown rings. 

But maybe now it’s not enough to preoccupy his mind with the pretty blood and flesh woman beside him. 

His head whips back to the loud sound of the slamming door and ping of the rock and I quickly turn my face away from his line of vision. 

“Katniss?” His hopeful voice calls out. But I’m already pushing to round the corner of the rebuilt merchant businesses. “Katniss!” 

He can have fun with his gorgeous Capitol woman on his arm. I don’t care. 

I save the grumbling for later though, my mind focuses on the ground below me as my legs carry me in a spring towards the fence. I duck under my spot in the chain-link and snatch up my bow and arrows. 

After the fifth poor squirrel participates in my very important exercise of letting my feeling’s flow for the day, I climb up a strong and tall tree. I lean into the familiarity of pulling myself up its sprawling branches and swinging my body up and up. Reaching for the sky just as its leaves are. 

Have I really lost my dandelion in the spring already? 

Did the hungry storms of last night, and the contrast of the harsh summer sun this morning already wilt it?

He so easily welcomed that woman’s touch. Someone from the Capitol no less. And he’s barely touched me in months. Save our desperate grip on each other as the terrors of the night take over. 

I will not be sharing a town with the woman Peeta so readily shares himself with. 

Instead of rough bark behind my back, I feel the hard arm of a rocking chair digging into my spine. The room is cosy and safe, like Peeta. I feel the sway of my body with the branches of the tree and hug my knees tight to my chest. 

“This baby takes nothing from you Kitty, my heart just has to grow some more. Like my tummy. That’s all.” 

I relax into her arms, feeling the steady beat of her heart where my head lays. Her stomach is fat, nice and cushy. As fat as anyone in the Seam could ever get. She smells pretty. Like the dirt and plants Daddy lets me dig my grubby little fingers into. I feel the song rattle through my chest as she hums to me. My head gets droopy and I curl further into her. Her hands run through my hair and as she rocks our bodies together on the chair, my head clouds with dreams that I can’t touch yet. But I know they’re there. Happy and warm. 

“I’ll always be right here with you baby.” 

Shivering in the downpour I’ve been caught in, I hum the same tune she soothed me to. Without thinking, my body rocks back and forth on the soaked moss and lichen on the limb closest to the ground. If I let my hand hang limp from my side I could probably brush the tops of the chives sticking out near the base with my fingertips. I don’t remember my journey down from the top of the tree, but it must’ve happened somehow. 

I could be crying. I don’t know. The fat raindrops on my face disguise any that may come. 

But it would be hard to disguise the snot squirming its way out of me. I rub my bare forearm under my nose. 

I do what I do best. 

I run. I hide away. And I sulk. 

It doesn’t matter. 

They all leave. 

Even if they don’t want to, they always do. My father and Prim's choice was made for them. I don’t know what’s worse. To have Peeta’s choice made for him or for him to actively choose that I no longer fit into his life. 

Either way, it’s all unbearable to think about. I gasp in sharp breaths and my chest is tight with the pain and fatigue of it all. I feel like I’ve just run the worst marathon of my life, and I’ve never even gone over five miles when training for the Quell put a stick up Peeta’s ass. 

His clomping footsteps alert me to his presence long before I can see his form through the sheets of rain obscuring my vision. Maybe if I tuck further into myself he won’t notice me sitting on the lowest branch of the tree. 

I was never a lucky person though. 

He approaches me slowly, like I would a skittish animal. I tuck my chin into the safety of my knees. Surely he’ll go away if I ignore him hard enough. 

I feel the air move around me as he swings a leg up and over and brings his body to rest on the same branch as me. It’s not without difficulty though, I know his leg still bothers him and can be cumbersome at times. After a quiet moment of him gathering his balance again, he lifts my chin up with his finger. 

I can feel the tear tracks, dry and crusty against my cheeks and I know I look like a drowned rat, or rather a drowned Buttercup from my little pity party under the torrential rain. 

“Oh, Katniss.” Warmth floods through me, all-consuming and relieving as his thumb traces the skin under my eye. “What’s wrong baby?”

My nose stings again as a fresh wave of fat tears fall from my eyes at the nickname. My lip wobbles and I can’t breathe. I try to answer, but everything comes out as a choked sob. Peeta reaches around to wrap his arm around me, rubbing my back in comforting circles. When I finally get the words out, they’re incomprehensible with my stuttering breath, throat full of tears, and snot muffling everything. To anyone but Peeta, who knows me so well, past the need for language. 

“Why doesn’t she want me anymore?” 

“What brought all of this on sweet girl?” 

“You’re leaving me.” 

“Not real.” 

“Maybe not your arms. But you are. Your heart.” 

“Never Katniss.” 

Fat rain drops fall from his delicate eyelashes, leaving behind them a darker shade of blond from the moisture. 

“You’re right here Katniss.” His steady and warm hands take my hand that’s shivering from the cold. He guides it straight over his chest and the comforting thump of his heart beneath warms me more than his coat he wrapped tightly around me does. I blink at his motions, my mind puzzling and patching them together into an attempt at coherency. 

His other hand reaches towards me and he watches me closely for any sign of apprehension in my eyes. I can’t manage any to bubble up in me at the moment. Tentatively, he presses the pads of his fingers against my own chest, speeding up the beat of my own heart along with his under the firm press the palm of my hand has against it. His fingers straighten until the heel of his own hand is flush against my heart. The soaked fabric of my shirt clings to us both from the water of the rain. 

“And I’m right here.” The pitch of his voice sounds at the edge of a question and a statement. 

It’s not fair to him to be stuck with me though, just because he knows I wouldn’t be able to handle it. He deserves someone good and beautiful. Just like him. 

Not a girl scarred from the fire she wore for pageantry and glory. 

“I’m not pretty enough for you. I’m not big enough.” 

“Sweetheart.” 

“I wasn’t enough.” 

“Katniss.” My name breaks on his tongue; he physically can’t even force the muscles to move again, as if the ache in his chest is agonisingly painful from the blow of my words. I understand now. His heart is broken. Like I shot an arrow through him instead of the truth. Maybe I did, the day I sang to the birds in kindergarten and we’re forever tethered now from the invisible line of bow string to arrowhead. 

“I love you.” 

His beautifully made eyes well with tears, glossing the blue over with his pain. My eyes begin to water again, even after I’ve exhausted myself of the hydration required to sustain them. It’s not hard to feel what a man like Peeta feels for yourself, deep in your bones. 

“I came back for you. Back to twelve. Back to myself.”

“It kills me that you think you’re not enough. I’m so sorry I said those words in 13 to you. I know I’ll never be able to take them back. Or the-” He stares at my throat, where his hands once wove together into a nest of fear and pure hatred and I swallow under his gaze. “But I promise Katniss. I will remind you how beautiful and smart and brave and loving you are every single day. You are perfect for me.” 

“But you don’t want me.” 

“I’ve wanted you that way ever since I’ve understood what it meant.” 

But that doesn’t make sense. His constant distance and the sincerity behind his words clash within my mind. My brow furrows and my face deepens into a scowl.  

“Show me.” 

His eyes drag from their connection with mine, down to my lips. He looks back to me and his eyes widen with an emotion I’m all too familiar with. 

“I’m afraid.” 

“What?” 

“I’m afraid I won’t stop Katniss. They changed me. I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“So don’t stop. You’re my Peeta. No matter what.” 

The kiss is gentle and sweet and I pull my body back against the rough bark, forcing him to lean into me even more. I cradle him between my thighs and smile against his lips. They taste like a fresh burst of blueberries on my tongue and my smile widens at the thought of him sneaking his own fresh muffin from the bakery’s supplies. The way his lips slide against mine, slick with the torrent of rain that assaults us is new and exciting. To consume the very rain itself off of his lip makes my chest flutter at the fact that not even the rain will get the chance to touch him that way so long as I remain in this embrace. 

He shifts slightly against me and I immediately panic at the feel of him in that way. My body stiffens straight under him and he pulls back from my lips with a sheepish grin. 

There’s an apology in his clear eyes but I won’t have that. I speak before his mouth can form the words.  

I blurt out in a pant. “I like kissing you.” 

I tuck my head into his shoulder to hide the blush that crosses my cheeks. But it’s too late. He’s already seen it if the dopey smile on his face is any indication. 

“I like kissing you too.” His lips find the small space of skin by my hairline that isn’t hidden. 

I scoot closer to him and burrow into his chest. 

And that motion was a big mistake. Or maybe the best mistake I’ve made today.

We both carreen down into the cushion of soft grass below us when I push Peeta off-balance. A giggle bursts from my mouth unbidden as I land mostly on top of him. His body bears the brunt of the fall but he seems completely fine and a goofy grin crosses his face. He leans up to me and my heart flutters when he pulls me in for another short, sweet kiss. I nestle my knees around his hips and pull back from him with a smile. 

I reach my hand to his ear and tuck a wisp of blond back behind his ear. The kisses and our proximity have made me bolder. Bold enough to interrogate him. “What is your little blonde girlfriend going to think about this?” 

He sits up to bring his upper body off the damp ground and my body follows him. 

“Who?” 

I roll my eyes at him. I hold a hand to my chest and bat my eyelashes at him. “Oh Peeta it’s been far too long.” 

“So that’s what this was all about. You were jealous?” 

“No.” I scowl, crossing my arms tight over my chest. 

“Katniss, she’s old enough to be our mother. Maybe even our grandmother.”

“Hmm.” My eyebrow twitches. “Maybe you’re into that sort of thing.” 

He wraps his arms tighter around my waist, deliberately lower than where they were last time. He looks into my eyes for any sign that he’s gone too far but I won’t give him any. With a light pressure, he squeezes my backside tentatively with a wolfish grin, as if he’s just gotten away with stealing the last cookie from the cookie jar. 

“What I’m into is what I have my hands full of right now.” 

“But seriously Katniss, she saved us from the bombing in the Capitol after I tried to drag you away. She visited us both but I was the only one awake when she did.” His eyes are tender as he brushes a sopping wet piece of hair off of my collarbone. “It’s only ever been you my darling girl.” 

“And it only ever will be?” 

“Always.”

[mostmouse]

Glistening Scales and Sea Glass

You've known Cove since you were both children, and him being a mermaid never bothered you. Now, years down the line, you're ready to go all the way with your inhuman lover - though there are a few surprises.

(mermaid!Cove x f!reader, explicit, 7,700 words, oviposition)

Dark, deep waters surrounded Cove as he made his way through the depths, searching for the perfect shells and sea glass to gift to you on your date tonight. It was going to be a special night, he was ready to go all the way with you. The two of you had gotten handsy before, and neither of you cared about the different anatomy than would have been expected of the other.

He smiled as he grabbed a few more bits from the ocean floor, swimming his way to the surface in no particular rush. You would meet in the tide pool caves at sundown, and currently the sun was still high in the sky. He would be there early, of course, just to spend one more second with you.

The two of you had met purely by chance almost ten years ago. You had been walking on the beach as a young child, and he had snuck away from his dad to see the stars. Unfortunately, the tide had been stronger than expected and he had been swept to the shore. He was terrified at first, never having been so potentially close to humans, not since he had touched a boat and the propeller had scored his arm badly.

But there you were, kneeling next to him and babbling in your human language. You were so concerned for him, he could see it on your face. It was all he could do to not blush and try to swim away. His dad had come close to the shore as well, entirely prepared to fight any human with ill intentions towards his pride and joy.

However, when he had found the two of you, his dad said there was something special about the human who found you. His dad knew some human language, and had said you were asking him if he was okay, or if he could breathe without being in the water. Once his dad had collected him, you were star struck, but still managed to tell them that you’d never tell a soul and they could trust you.

Cove had sought you out after that, he didn’t get along with the other kids his age, and none of them had ever looked at him with such a warm and concerned gaze. When you had said goodbye to him that first time, your smile was just like starlight, and suddenly he found himself seeking you out instead of the stars.

It wasn’t hard to get away from his dad, he was always careful to leave after he went to sleep and arrive before he awoke. He and his dad were mostly solitary in the beginning of his life, he didn’t get along with anyone and had no interest in spending time with his dad. As he got older, spent more time with you, learned human language, and came out of his shell, he forged stronger connections with those around him as well as his dad.

He had confessed to sneaking out and associating with you, even though he was a mermaid and you were human. To his utmost surprise, his dad wasn’t surprised at all. In fact, he had told him, he could hear him practicing human language in the daytime, and noticed early on that he was sneaking away to go to the shore. Especially considering how sad and apathetic he was in the winter months when they migrated away from the cool waters, and how he was right as rain once they returned.

In fact, his dad remarked, he had followed Cove many times before and had watched you two interact. Once he was sure the path Cove took was safe, you had kept your promise of not telling anyone, and that there was no harm in the meetings - he had overlooked the entire situation.

Cove smiled at the memories, floating atop the waves and allowing the sun to warm him, his scales catching the sunlight. His tail was magnificent, almost twice the length of his torso - which was already taller than average. He was proud of their sheen, how they caught the light and glistened. The scar on his arm was almost nonexistent, having healed and grown with him. He wasn’t over his fear of boats however, and refused to go near them.

Sharp teeth caught the sunshine as he grinned, splaying his muscled arms on either side of him, floating happily. The wide fins on either side of his head allowed him to listen to the fish and dolphins swimming around him, their almost inaudible sounds calling out to him. His scales trailed up to his cheeks and around his torso and his gills that curled around his ribs, the teal outshining the other beachy colors.

Letting himself sink into the water, his slitted eyes sought out a small snack of fish. Keeping the small knapsack close to his waist where it was tied, a gift from you from years earlier, he expertly swam and caught a small fish. Humming happily to himself, he tore into it, breaking the bones easily as his slightly rough tongue scraped the meat from them.

Rising back up to the surface, he threw the uneaten pieces out away from him, letting other ocean feeders eat the leftover portions. Swimming back down, he surveyed the coastline. Crystal clear vision seeking out any treasures to gift to you. He managed to find a few pristine shells, as well as more sea glass. Lighting up, he dove down, careful not to scatter the sand as he plucked a shark tooth from the sediment.

Humming in delight, he added it to his haul, tossing out the now undesirable pieces in exchange for the prettier treasures. He combed the floor and sands for more bits and bobs until he noticed the sun sinking. Sharp teeth shone in the sunlight once more, an unintentional threat for other sentient creatures that weren’t you, and made his way to the tide pool caves.

Avoiding the jagged rocks and ridges of the pools, he made his way deeper inside. Finding the spot the two of you had made into your hideout, he hauled himself up, resting his chest on the sandbank and letting his tail splash idly in the shallow waters.

Every now and then, he’d flick his tail up and splash himself with water, basking in the cool air and the setting sun. His fins perked up as he heard footsteps approaching, a rythmic knocking on the stone alerting him it was you before the steps resumed once more. Suddenly, nervousness rose in his chest. What if you rejected his advances? What if between the last time you were somewhat intimate, you had decided you wanted someone more… human?

He knew you had other friends, other humans. He had seen them on the beach before when he visited without warning, and you had told him all about them - even showing him pictures on your phone. He tried to stamp down the anxiety, you had told him you loved him, that he was the only one for you, and every time he doubted that, he doubted you.

Releasing a heavy breath, he slipped onto his side, the position more awkward than when you did so considering he didn’t necessarily have a pelvic bone like you. However, he adored your hips, how they were so grabbable and so easy to manhandle you by. Perhaps tonight, he could sink his claws into you, bucking his cock inside of you.

He shuddered, covering his face with his hands, willing the heat and throbbing sensation within his vent to quiet down. Swallowing thickly, he eagerly watched the mouth of the small cave, grinning and brightening when he saw you. Calling out your name, he lifted himself up more, the curve of his spine transitioning into his tail accentuating his muscled abdomen.

Your eyes found him easily, his scales and eyes glistening in the setting sun. “Cove! You’re early!” You laughed joyously, hopping around the tide pools nimbly after so long of meeting here. He tried to not eye your bouncing breasts, or your exposed legs in the dress you were wearing.

Clearing his throat nervously, he smiled at you. “Hey! I haven’t been waiting long, it's okay.” You smiled softly, coming to rest beside him and kissing him softly on the lips. You sighed against him, moving to pull away before his hands came up to hold your cheeks.

You eagerly kissed back, your hands moving to brace the both of you considering he couldn’t exactly sit straight with his skeletal structure. Though, you were hopelessly in love with every bit of him, including every inhuman aspect of him. Breaking away, he peppered kisses all across your face, nuzzling your neck and inhaling your scent.

Lifting one hand, you pet his wet hair, kissing his exposed shoulders and scales scattered around him. “I missed you so much… I love you.” You could feel his lips still on your shoulders before a sudden warmth joined the sensation. “You’re so cute when you blush, my little fish.” Your shoulders shook under his lips as you giggled.

Huffing against you, “You can’t even see me!” As that did nothing to stop your laughter, unsurprisingly, he bit you instead, careful not to bite too hard with his sharp teeth. He was surprised, however, to hear such a wanton moan fall from your lips.

In his pause, he felt you stiffen, covering your mouth with your hand and trying to push him away. However, he was pure solid muscle from his life in the ocean and constantly moving against the gravity of the waves. You knew it was pointless, but you couldn’t help the embarrassment swelling inside you.

“S-Sorry! We haven’t even had a proper conversation and I’m-” You groaned, choosing to not finish the sentence and instead press your face into his hair next to you. Cove swallowed, mind working overtime at how you could’ve finished that sentence. Were you embarrassed because you were as needy and desperate as he was? Could you tell what his big plans were tonight, how he planned to share your first time together?

Pulling away from you, he chose to not comment on it, “It’s okay, here, I brought you something.” Untying the small woven waist bag, he loosened the top, motioning for your hands. You sighed, relieved that he chose to not pursue your wording.

“Aw, Cove… I didn’t bring you anything.” Your dejected tone didn’t stop your eager hands from receiving the gift he brought.

Smiling softly, he kissed your nose, “I don’t bring you things because I want something too, this is just because I love you. I didn’t even have to look that hard.” It was his second lie of the night, and the both of you knew it. He was always early to see you, and never gave you halfassed treasures from the deep. He prided himself on everything he could find, and only gave the most perfect specimens for you to keep.

You hummed thoughtfully, cooing at the cute shells, aww-ing at the perfectly clear sea glass, and squealing as he showed you the shark tooth. “This is so cool! Oh my gosh, look how big it is! That’s insane!” You turned it over in your hands repeatedly, dragging your fingers against it lightly. “I… Well, I sort of lied earlier. I do have something for you… I hope you like it!”

You blushed as you reached for the bag you had tossed aside, and Cove found himself getting excited again. Peering over your shoulder, he tilted his head at the sight of a thick blanket. You had stopped bringing blankets years ago, used to the feel of the sand by now. He blushed as he thought of why you might’ve brought it. Shaking his head, he backed off as you grabbed something and cupped it in your hands.

“Now, remember… If you turn this down, I’ll cry, okay?” Despite the warning that had him balking for a second, your face remained lovingly bashful. “I searched for the perfect beads, and finally got the thread to be the right texture and tightness I wanted. There’s no way this’ll break.”

Uncurling your hands, Cove stared delightedly at your gift. It was the orange shell you had shown him years and years ago. It was his favorite out of your collection, but had always refused when you offered it to him. Here it was now, wrapped in gold wire and connected to a threaded necklace, other shells and beads complimenting the orange swirls of the shell.

His mouth dried up as his eyes watered. Looking at you with shining eyes, he held your hands in his. “T-Thank you, I- I don’t even know what to say. I love it, it's perfect. Thank you so much.” He let you tie it around his neck, tightening it so it wouldn’t fly off of him. Once you finished, he grabbed you around the waist, pulling you in close and hugging you to his bare chest.

“I love you. Oh my god, do I love you.” You smiled softly as he cried into your hair. Rubbing his back, you felt him slowly descend, pulling you down with him so your legs were to one side of his magnificent tail and you rested on his scaled chest, his gills flaring with what he was about to say.

“I- I love you. So much.” He pet your hair, fins flickering as his shining ocean eyes searched yours for something. Tentatively, his hands drifted down your side as your breathing hitched. “I want you.” The both of you watched each others’ eyes, waiting only a moment before you grinned, a warm blush covering your face as a bright red one scattered across his cheeks.

You kissed him, tongue pushing past his lips and sharp teeth as he moaned at your boldness. Petting his tongue, you licked inside his mouth before breaking away, panting slightly. “I want you too, please. I’m ready for us to go… All the way.” You grinned suddenly, squealing as you hid your face in his chest. He laughed loudly, petting your hair and nuzzling you, his tail splashing happily in the water.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He accentuated each declaration with a gradually suffocating embrace, kissing the crown of your head. You laughed breathlessly, tapping his chest in a call for mercy.

“I love you, too, Cove!” Wiggling free of the vice grip of his arms, you leaned forward and kissed his collarbone and the underside of his jaw. Sighing happily under you, his hands grabbed and groped your body, anywhere he could reach - which was most of you considering how big he was.

You flushed at the thought, wondering how big he actually was, he was easily over ten feet in length, his tail being most of it, but you couldn’t help but wonder where exactly his equipment was. You had been handsy with each other before, but that was mostly you being in various states of undress, you hadn’t had a chance to play with or see Cove.

His hand grabbed one of your thighs, moving it so you were straddling his tail just beneath where it fully began from his tummy. He looked up at you, hands holding your cheeks. Blushing, you nuzzled his palm before kissing him there. He whined adorably, the fins on either side of his face pulling in and covering his rosy cheeks.

You giggled softly, letting his hands go just to curl your own palms around the back of his head and scatter kisses across his face and chest. “You’re so cute!~” You couldn’t help but gush, letting his arms wind around your waist and pull you close, face resting on your chest. Whimpering helplessly, he squeezed you tighter to him.

“I- Would it be okay if you, uhm, if you-” He peered up at you from his hiding place, iridescent blue eyes practically hypnotizing you if you weren’t already madly in love with him, “If you uh, s-sat on my face, again?”

His heavy blush spread down his neck as you grinned at him. Pulling him away from where he hid his face in your chest, you kissed him slowly. Breaking away just to nibble on his lower lip, you smiled sweetly, “Of course! I’d love nothing more, baby.” He blushed at the pet name, leaning back on his forearms while he watched you strip off your dress and bra.

Licking his lips, he shamelessly raked his eyes over your body. He loved you so much, your perfectly soft body complimenting his hard cold one. It always seemed that no matter how much he basked in the sun’s rays, you were always burning him with your heat. Not that he was complaining, he loved how your skin felt against his.

Once you were done tugging off your panties, you hovered over his chest for a minute. Cove moaned at the feeling of your heat radiating on him, gills flaring as he scented your arousal in the air. You wore a coy smile, hands petting over his chest and drifting over his gills. A loud moan stuttered from his mouth, his gills being particularly sensitive. He brought his hands up to your thighs, cupping the backs of them and gently pulling you.

You smirked at the nonverbal plea, how he desperately wanted you to get closer so he could taste you. Laughing softly, you ran your fingers through his seafoam hair, the color complimenting the skin tone of your hands. “Hmmm? What is it, sweetness? I’m not a mind reader, you gotta use your big boy words.”

Your precious mermaid lover whimpered beneath you, eyes shyly meeting yours before he looked away. You smiled, petting his hair before moving down and tracing the edges of the fins on either side of his head. Usually you had infinite patience and could make him downright beg for you, but the anticipation of him being inside you tonight had you a bit more heated than usual.

Licking your lips, you slowly slid closer to him, listening to him moan as he readjusted his arms, curling them under your thick thighs. “P-Please, I want you. I wanna taste you, please let me, please.” His words were quick, not taking a breath between them as he dragged you closer slowly.

You admired his self restraint, you knew he was impossibly stronger than you, his rippling muscles taunting you with their strength. You grinned, biting your lip before you caressed his face, petting the scales that were scattered about. “If you want me, you’re gonna have to take me, Cove.”

His slitted eyes watched your expression carefully, not seeing any hesitation or apprehension, he grinned. Nails biting into you slightly, you cried out as he easily lifted you and dragged you so you were over his face, your hot wet cunt surrounding him with your scent. Moaning loudly at just the smell of you, he leaned his jaw up while pulling you down, kissing your plump lips and moaning at the wetness that clung to you.

Crying out at the touch, you rested your hands in his hair, bucking your hips slightly. “C-Cove!” He basked in your voice calling his name, his cheeks flushing as he pushed his long, rough tongue inside you before dragging it up your slit. Your thighs jumped at the sensation, his expert mouth finding your sensitive spots.

Nipping and licking you all over, he finally slipped his tongue between your slit, licking your clit gently, not pressing too hard with his rough tongue. You shuddered at the feeling, pulling his hair as your back arched, pressing your cunt tighter to his face.

You were so thankful his gills were on his ribs as he shoved his face tight against you, tongue dipping inside you before teasing your clit once more. He didn’t need to breathe while he was between your legs, which sometimes was a curse, considering he never really wanted to stop. Moaning softly, you sat back a bit, hands over his as they rested on your thighs and rode his face in a slow, lazy rhythm.

“Mmm~ Cove, fuck, your mouth feels so good, baby.” Panting, you rocked your hips. His tongue pressed inside you deeply, moaning as your taste flooded his mouth. “Fuck! Cove~ G-Good boy, eating me out, such a good boy.” Cooing at him, you squeezed his hands, feeling his grip tighten as he tilted his head up more, jaw pressing into you as his tongue lapped at your clit.

Crying out, you curled forward slightly, hearing your lover growl lowly, moving up to grip your hips and readjust you to where he wanted you. You moaned wantonly, his manhandling and mouth making you hotter. “C-Cove! Touch me, please, I need you!”

You grabbed at his hair and the sand behind his head, trying to anchor yourself as one of his hands slid under and between your legs. Spreading them further apart, you almost felt embarrassed at how you were likely spread wide open, rubbing your wet cunt across his entire face.

However, it was easier to be shameless and let him pleasure you, two fingers slipping inside you as he wrapped his lips around your clit. Crying out, you straightened back up, arching your back and resting your palms on his tummy behind you. “Cove! Fuck! J-Just like that, baby, ahh!”

His digits tapped against your gspot, feeling it swell against the pads of his fingertips. Your clit pulsed on his tongue as he sucked tightly, petting it at an even pace. Unable to contain your pleasure, you cried out, rolling your hips and fucking his face. “Cove!~” Panting hotly, you felt him press another finger inside you, his sharp nails careful to not cut you.

“Ahh! Fuck!” Your own nails bit into his skin, and you whimpered as he moaned around your clit. His fingers pressed harder and faster, your orgasm approaching quickly. “Ahh! I-I’m gonna cum, fuck! Cove- Cove!” Your thighs seized up, your climax washing over you as you felt yourself squirt across his face.

Whining and whimpering, you felt his digits leave your wet cunt just for his tongue to slip deep inside you. Moaning wantonly, you felt your legs spread wider as your weight sunk into your knees. Cove’s tongue slipped deep inside you, petting your sweet spot and drinking in all your cum. You could feel him moaning against your cunt, his hands keeping your legs spread wide and supporting your weight.

Your knees jerked in his hold, his tongue overstimulating you, and you tapped one of his hands. “N-No, please! Fuck! Cove~ It’s so much!” However, you didn’t tug your hips away, instead rocking them and humping his face. “Ahh~ Cove~” Your voice was music to his ears, his cock hard inside his vent. He focused on pleasuring you, trying to keep himself contained for the time being. He didn’t want to break the spell he had you under.

He was a bit surprised you finished so fast, and squirted so easily. However, it had been a while since he was able to touch you like this - did you not pleasure yourself at home? The thought of you not being able to get off without him puffed up his ego. Thrusting his tongue inside you, he curled one hand around to pet your clit.

Basking in your wanton moans and cries, he felt you tighten around his rough tongue. Moaning as your thighs squeezed his head, tight enough to where he could hear your blood pumping, he pressed his lips tighter against your plump cunt. His arm wound tightly around your thigh, his free hand teasing your clit softly, not wanting to make you sore before he had a chance to sink his cock inside you.

You cried out again, your voice dripping with pleasure as you fought against his hold, “Cove! Ahh!~ F-Fuck! Please, please, I’m gonna cum! Wanna cum for you, please!” He whimpered, your voice muffled from your thighs wrapped around his head, but still clear enough to have him drooling.

Your cum spilled into his mouth, moaning at the taste and how your cunt wrapped tight around his tongue. Loosening his grip on your legs, he pulled away from your clit. Kissing your slit, he moved his head side to side as you shakily rose up, kissing your inner thighs and nipping in some places.

Squealing, you slid back down his chest, resting your heated cheek against his cooler chest. Your eyes were closed, panting as you stayed on his heaving chest. You could feel one hand resting on your head, the other covering his mouth as he moaned and whispered in his own language.

You had asked him once what he was saying, the gutteral sounds of mermaid speak being too difficult to pick up as easily as he had learned human language, but he had told you with a blush once that it was mostly him whispering how he couldn’t believe what just happened had just happened. You found it insanely cute. He blushed all the while, but you loved to hear him have a little episode about how euphoric he was at getting to please you.

Cracking your eyes open, you pawed for your bag, trying to grab the blanket you had brought. Cove, peering at your hands and what was next to him, smiled softly. Reaching his much longer arms out, he grabbed the blanket, spreading it out the best he could, and laying it directly next to him. He would always opt for the sandbar, being comfortable in the grains. Though he understood how it could become irritating for your own soft skin.

You hummed softly, whispering your thanks as you made no move to get off of him. You took the quiet recovery time to think about how it would work out between the two of you. He didn’t have knees to kneel on, or hips really to thrust against you. How exactly would this play out then?

Blinking up at your lover, you smiled at the blissful look on his face. He was just as happy to please you than anything else. You asked once if you could return the favor but he had been a bit skittish at the prospect, and so you backed off. You knew he would let you when he was ready.

Stroking his chest, you wiggled up a bit higher, kissing his scales and licking him. “Cove~” Your voice brought him out of his thoughts and he jumped slightly. Leaning up a bit, he rested on one forearm.

“Are you okay? You seemed a little out of it.” His bashful tone had you grinning in disbelief.

“You say that as though you weren’t solely responsible, Cove Holden. You just ate me until I thought I’d pass out!” Your teasing voice had him blushing, but soon you felt the heat on your face as he licked his lips, eyes flicking down to your chest that was pressed against his belly.

“You finished so fast. Has it been a while since you last got off?” You balked at the bold question, his now wide eyes watching you carefully. You could feel the tense mood in your chest, and you couldn’t contain the excitement.

Blushing, you lifted yourself higher, crawling up his body until your breasts were in his face, his gaze half lidded as he moved forward to take one of your nipples in his mouth. Sighing at the feeling, you let one arm cradle the back of his head as you held him to you.

“Maybe… It’s just not fair when I’m home and all I can do is think of you. I can’t make myself feel as good as you make me feel. You’ve ruined me for anything else! I always need you.” You felt him whimper against you, hands moving to grip your hips and squeezing them tightly. You moaned at the contact, rolling your hips against his tummy.

“I want you, Cove, please let me feel you.” Your needy tone had him writhing slightly. Popping off your flushed peak, his shining eyes looked up and met your gaze. You moaned at his expression, lips rouged, eyes lustful and half lidded.

“I- Can I be inside you, please?” You moaned once more at his question, nodding vigorously with flushed cheeks. “Let me know if it’s too much or if I’m too big, okay?” You whimpered, wiggling your hips in his hands and he couldn’t help but laugh softly. “So excited… Have you been fantasizing about this like I have?”

You nodded, leaning higher up so he could adjust himself under you. Your eyes flicked down towards his waist, scales glittering in the moonlight that shone into the small cave. “I- uhm, I’ve been really curious, too. To see what you look like. No matter what parts you have, I know I’ll love it!”

You smiled as he blushed. Leaning up to you, he kissed you softly. Using one hand that was still on your hip, the other propping himself up on his palm, he scooted you back a bit. Blushing, he pet your thigh, looking at you timidly. “Please don’t be scared. I know it’s not what some humans have, really, but-” You cut him off with another kiss, moving to kiss his cheeks, nose, and forehead.

“I’m ready, Cove. I want to make love to you, no matter what you look like.” Swallowing at your words, he let himself relax, blushing heavily as his prehensile, inhuman cock began to slip free from his vent. You squeaked as you watched, his eyes watching your face.

Your eyes got wider and wider as he slipped free, resting against his tummy. His cock was gradient in color, from a deep blue - almost violet - base, to a tapered aqua tip. He looked to be relatively squishy, thick at the base and thinning out as he went higher. You swallowed thickly, eyes taking him in. He had some sort of ridges along the underside, and the edges of his vent were a deeper emerald as compared to the teal, blues, and greens of his scales.

He watched you as you looked at him, the blush on his cheeks darkening as he watched you slowly lick your lips, eyes raking over him lustfully. “Y-You can touch me, it’s okay.” His words seemed to snap you out of your reverie, looking up at him quickly.

“Sorry! I’m not staring ‘cause I don’t like it, I think you’re very beautiful!” Your passionate declaration had him balking slightly, speechless. “I just- it’s obviously different, but I’m very excited!”

Your unwavering eye contact had his cheeks rosy red, hiding his face with his fins again. Giggling bashfully, you ran your hands over his chest, “Sorry, that kind of came out wrong. I’m just excited!” Laughing as he blushed harder, he moved one fin and peered at you.

“You really like it? It’s okay?” Squeaking as you grinned wolfishly, he jolted as you leaned forward. Kissing him while maintaining eye contact, he moaned against your mouth before letting his eyes slip closed.

“I like it a lot, I’d even say I love it. I love every part of you. Let me know if I hurt you, okay?” Feeling you pull all the way back, your weight comfortable on his tail, he nodded quickly. Opening one eye, he watched as you lovingly reached out for him.

One finger traced his shaft, pressing gently into the soft, slick skin. He moaned at the gentle exploration, reminded of how he had taken his time getting to know your most intimate parts as well.

Circling his tip, you drifted back down to his base before tracing the edge of his vent. Moaning loudly, Cove tipped his head back, body shuddering. You licked your lips excitedly, shimmying down his tail and running your tongue along the edge instead. A hand clapped over his mouth as he cried out. His voice was muffled as he spoke beneath his palm, eyes watching you closely.

Whimpering as you saw his cock stand up, curling in on itself slightly, you focused on licking his base and vent edge, listening to him as he gasped and panted for you, hand fisting in your loose hair. “F-Fuck…” His hazy gaze watched you as your tongue lavished him. Panting, his fist tightened in your hair, pulling slightly before loosening up again. “Tighter, fuck, please! Your m-mouth, fuck!”

You smiled, humming happily and opening your mouth and tilting your head sideways and sucking the base of his cock. Licking his smooth skin, you moved lower, tongue flicking out and licking his vent. “Ahh~ Ah!” Panting hard, Cove pushed you tighter, the soft squishy skin pressed against your tongue. Moaning, you blushed as you felt the underside ridges get harder, the rest of his cock staying mostly pliable.

Pulling away, you left your mouth open, tongue out, as you moved towards his tip. Body shaking, his hand held the base of your head as his cock unfurled and slipped past your lips. Moaning as he easily filled your mouth, you pressed your tongue against the hardening ridges. You whimpered as he pressed deeper, hand on the back of your neck holding you still.

Panting and moaning, Cove let his head fall back once more, cock pulsing in your mouth and gagged as he pressed deeper down your throat. You choked slightly, hands wrapping around his base and playing with his vent. His moans and cries drowned out your gagging, his cock fucking your throat.

He pulled you closer by your neck, shuddering as he cried out. “Fuck! F-Feels amazing, ahh!” Your eyes watered, hands remaining gentle even as he got rougher with you. “Take my cock, ahh! S-Such a good girl, sucking me off- fuck!” His shaft swelled in your mouth, muffling your whimpers as tears fell from your eyes, breath coming in quick puffs from your nose as he fucked your throat.

“I-I’m, fuck! Gonna cum- ahh~ C-Can I please finish in- ahh! Y-Your mouth, fuck, please!” He heard and felt you moan around his cock, and took that as your assent. Gasping and moaning, his cock thrust faster inside your mouth, stretching you out further as it swelled with cum. Crying out at the discomfort, you felt him release down your throat, eyes fluttering shut as you felt his cum fill your belly.

Your jaw popped as he slipped his cock from your mouth, gasping for air and coughing roughly. Swiping at the wetness by your mouth, you blinked at the inky color on your fingers. Catching your breath, you looked up towards Cove, who was splayed out on his back, arm tossed over his eyes, chest heaving for hair, gills straining.

Coughing still, you moved off of him, his pulsing cock resting on his belly once more. You noticed the rosy rim of his vent was looking more like a forest green than before, and even after having your mouth fucked harder than you’d ever imagined, you felt heat pooling between your legs and your mouth watering.

Leaning over to your bag, you grabbed a small little plastic pail. Usually for kids and sand castles, you filled it up with cool salt water and dumped it on his chest, letting the water run over his muscled sides and refreshing his gills. Repeating the action a few more times, you watched as his breathing calmed down. Smiling gently, you laid down on the blanket next to him, ignoring the wet edges.

“All done?” Your voice was raspy, though you weren’t surprised. Caressing his tummy, you hummed as your lover gathered his barings.

Looking over at you, you moaned and pressed your thighs together at the dark look in his eyes. “N-Not if you aren’t. I just- I’ve never felt that good before. Thank you.” His hand cradled your cheek and you giggled. “I was- I shouldn't have been so rough, I just, uhm, got excited… I’m sorry.”

Smiling, you kissed him softly, leaning up on your arms. “Don’t be sorry, I’m glad I could make you feel so good! Next time I’ll be more prepared.” He blushed at your words, cock throbbing at the thought of next time. You bit your lip, eyes flicking down to his cock as it curled slightly, “I still wanna, you know, go all the way with you… If you want to?”

He nodded quickly, then blushed and looked away. “I- yes, please. I really want to.” You giggled, hiding your face in his chest. He laughed along with you, petting your hair. “I promise to be gentle.”

You nipped his chest, peering up at him, “Well, not too gentle, okay?” He couldn’t help but grin, leaning up and helping you sit right above him, straddling his tail once more. You anchored your palms on his firm chest, lifting yourself up slightly. Shuddering and moaning as you felt the slick tip of his cock trace your cunt, you made eye contact with Cove’s perfectly clear gaze.

Grinning at him, you leaned back, letting him watch as he slipped his cock into you, the both of you moaning at the gradual stretch as he sunk deeper inside of you. Wiggling your hips, you whimpered as you sat fully on him, hard ridges stroking you as he moved his tip inside.

His hands were covering his mouth, cheeks hot as tears rimmed his eyes. “Fuck! You- fuck!” Resting his palms above his head, he panted hard, gasping for air. You moaned at the feeling, none of your toys comparing to his texture or feel. Gasping in short breaths, you cupped his cheeks.

“Feels so good, baby~ Ahhh~ I don’t think I’ve ever been, ahh! This full before.” Your voice was strained, trying to lift yourself up to ride him. However, Cove’s hands shot down to your hips, holding you still. Half lidded eyes held your gaze captive, sharp teeth glinting in the moonlight as he panted as well.

Gritting his teeth, he held you flush against him. You were about to beg him to let you move before you cried out at the feeling of his cock thrusting inside you. Considering how flush you were with his body, you didn’t think he’d have much room, but as his cock moved inside you rapidly, constantly grinding against your already swollen gspot, it took all your strength to keep from screaming out.

Nails raked across his chest, some scales coming loose as you shuddered and bounced slightly on his cock. “C-Cove! Ahh!” You whined and moaned above him, breasts bouncing as he fucked you. Panting under you, he watched you carefully, barely blinking as pleasure washed over him in intense waves. He didn’t think it could feel this amazing, how you squeezed him so tightly, how he slipped in and fucked you so easily, even with how you clenched down on him.

His hair tangled in the sand as he threw his head back, crying your name amongst broken moans. “Fuck! Fuck, f- ahh! I- ahhh~ you feel so- ahh!” He couldn’t think, couldn’t focus on anything except how close he was to cumming again. In all his dirty fantasies, you never got him so close to the edge so fast. Your cunt was wrapped around him so tightly it felt like he’d never be able to pull free.

He writhed beneath you, tail splashing listlessly in the water, the sounds joining your cries and his moans. His nails bit into your skin, and distantly he knew he was probably drawing blood, but he couldn’t bring himself to care in the moment. Overwhelmingly, blocking out almost all his thoughts, he could feel something big building up inside him.

Crying out, he kept pounding you with his thick, ridged cock. He could feel you tightening sporadically around him, listening to you babble atop him, body quaking as you quickly approached another orgasm. With a sharp scream, he felt you squeeze him like a vice, stopping him from moving inside of you.

Your head was tilted back, loud cries and screams falling from you freely, breasts bouncing and hair messy behind you. He tried to call out to you, to get your attention but his body was seized in pleasure and euphoria. The feeling of your burning hot cunt was making his mind go blank, his cock swelling with his cum and something he had neglected to inform you of beforehand.

Tears slipped past his eyes as he moaned loudly, body jerking as he felt his eggs swell his cock inside you, your tight grip unrelenting. You moaned in a broken tone, body curling forward as your nails bit into his skin once again. “C-Cove? What’s- what’re you-”

You couldn’t finish your sentence, moaning loudly and drool falling from your open mouth as he pumped eggs inside of your tight, burning body. He whimpered as each one passed his tapered tip, stretching him out just as much as it stretched you.

“Ahhh~ F-Fuck, I can’t stop- I- ahhhhh~” His voice was thick with pleasure, cheeks rosy and eyes cloudy and dazed. You wobbled atop of him, cock so thick with eggs you couldn’t pull free if you wanted to. Finally, spent of all your stamina, you fell onto his chest. The new angle had you squeezing him tighter inside of you and the both of you moaned lasciviously.

Shuddering, you tangled your hands in his hair, whimpering his name. You bucked and rolled your hips, the only movement you could manage as he pumped you full of cum and eggs. Panting heavily, the two of you basked in each other's afterglow, moaning as you felt the eggs swell his cock before pressing deep inside you.

“C-Cove…” His name was just a whisper, but it had him shuddering all the same. “I- I can’t fit anymore, please… Please stop… I’m too full, it’s too much…” Moaning at your words, he pet your hair, fingers drawing designs on your bare back.

Swallowing thickly, his voice was rough, “Can’t- Can’t stop… ‘M sorry…” He nuzzled the top of your head, kissing you across your hair. The both of you moaned as more filled you. He could feel the tight fit, how you were squeezing him and his eggs. He could cum from the sensation alone, but he couldn’t stop filling you up.

The two of you listened to each others’ breathing, the occasional moan breaking the silence as you fit another egg inside you. Finally, after what felt like hours, you felt Cove’s cock loosen up inside you, finally giving the rim of your cunt a break from being stretched so wide open.

The both of you moaned, his cock slipping free and back into his vent. He rubbed your back, kissing the crown of your head. “There… All done… Are you okay, baby?” His words were whispers, holding you tenderly and lovingly.

Your cheeks were hot, belly swollen, and mind hazy. “Mmmmm~ Love you…” He laughed softly, head thumping back onto the sand. Keeping you close to him, he let you rest, no doubt pushing your body to the limit.

Slowly, you started moving the tips of your fingers and your toes. Whining lowly, you croaked to life on his chest. “Can you put me next to you? My belly hurts.” He winced, moving you so that you were on your side next to him. Sighing contentedly, you went limp once more, panting slightly.

Cove swallowed thickly, something sparking to life inside him as he saw your round belly, knowing he was the one who stuffed you full. He caressed your tummy, feeling possessive over you. Resting on his forearm, he admired you openly, eyes raking up and down your body, barely able to smell your natural scent. Licking his lips, he felt pride swelling in him as all he could scent was his own claim around you.

Slowly, your eyes blearily opened. Reaching towards him sluggishly, Cove brought you close to his side, tail flipping up and covering your legs slightly with his large fins. “Do you think you can push them out? Do you need more time?”

You whined lowly, raising one leg up slightly. Taking the hint, he grabbed behind your knee and tossed it over the curve of his waist. Your brows furrowed before looking up at him. “Can you help me?”

Nodding, he kissed your lips, nose, then forehead. His hand dipped down between you, pressing the top of your tummy. “Okay, I just need you to push. Can you do that for me, baby?” You blushed, nodding. As he pushed on your belly, you moaned as the first few eggs slipped out easily. He smiled, kissing you quickly, “Good girl! Okay, now a few more.”

You repeated the actions, until your belly was noticeably smaller. Panting, your face was covered in a light sheen of sweat as Cove kept coaching you through it. He littered your face with kisses, occasionally slipping his tongue into your mouth. You couldn’t deny what was happening was hot, and felt pretty good. But it was also exhausting.

“You’re doing so good for me… I’m gonna slip my fingers inside and help with the last few, okay?” You nodded, tiredness creeping into your bones. The both of you moaned as Cove’s fingers slipped inside you. Wiggling them, he managed to puncture the last couple eggs, dragging them out easily. You moaned loudly, relief flooding you as all the eggs left you.

“Thank you…” Your voice trailed off softly, sleep overtaking you. Cove watched you sleep with tired but loving eyes. Nuzzling your face, he grabbed the opposite side of your blanket, pulling it up over your spent body.

“I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Kissing you everywhere he could reach, he settled in next to you and felt himself fall asleep easier than he had in a long while, dreaming of the two of you exploring the ocean together.

[silly-writes]

Prompt: Camper (Courtney, Gwen, Heather, Sky, Cody, etc.) falls for a reader who tries their best but silently suffers from Imposter Syndrome quite a bit with said camper being the only person to realize the self doubt of the reader yet still falls in love with reader. How'd things develop?

More characters with a reader who suffer from imposter syndrome!

Hello anon! I got this request already but not all the same characters are included so Courtney, Gwen and Heather are linked here! Sky and Cody for this prompt below the cut! enjoy!

Sky

Being heavily competitive, she's not in this game for the heart to hearts.

I would imagine it would take a lot for her to notice something like this, but as she started to fall for you it would become more and more apparent to her.

Based on everything that happened to Dave I also feel like she would not really ever officially confess to you, trying to keep things relatively professional, so to speak.

It wasn't until one day when she was talking to you (or rather strategizing) that she realized how deep it really ran.

"I probably shouldn't go first," you say.

She nods "you're right, you're probably our strongest player for this next challenge. We should finish strong so you should go last."

You gave her a forced smile then explained "I know you really care about winning... maybe I should just go in the middle or something."

You were terrified of screwing things up, but even more so of screwing things up for Sky. It'd be your funeral if you messed things up for her.

Meanwhile Sky is trying to figure out how you could see it fit to hide your skill, she's upfront about what she's good at, never shy about it, and she doesn't see any reason why you shouldn't be the same.

"Well that's ridiculous. I mean if you want to throw, sure you can go in the middle. We're in it to win it though, right?" She says elbowing you playfully.

Sky tries to uplift you by letting you take the lead when you offer it, and I would imagine the two of you would become sort of the unspoken leaders of your team.

Nobody makes any decisions without discussing it with the two of you first.

Cody

Cody is absolutely stunned by everything you're amazing at, absolutely in awe of it every time.

He's even more amazed that you give him the time of day, especially since you're so cool, and skilled, and he's so- well not. (sorry cody <3)

He tries to impress you always, literally at every turn.

He ends up embarrassing himself at tasks you could've cleared in under a minute while he's struggling with it for up to ten.

But to you it is oddly endearing.

He never has any reason to believe you don't know how utterly amazing you are.

Until one day he's trying again, trying to lift up the canoe to shove it into the water.

You're watching him struggle, but it would be beyond rude to offer to do it instead, so you just sit.

He sighs sliding down against the beach floor "ugh. You had better just save me any more humiliation and help me now."

"What? I think you've got it."

He scoffed, turning towards you "just do it will you?"

He got into the boat grumpily, and you easily slid the both of you into the water and started rowing.

"Why do you let me do that when you could've easily just slid us into the water. We're so behind now."

I think maybe he takes your silence as if you're making fun of him or something.

"I didn't think I could," you shrug.

"But you're so amazing at like, everything."

You hum softly a bit instead of responding.

"You had better know that by now," he scolds a little bit, catching onto your self conscious attitude.

"Whatever you say," you say quietly.

After that he's more determined than ever to show you off, and compliment and praise you over every little thing, no matter how simple, or silly it is.

He just wants you to see yourself how he sees you.

[buckysgrace]

Fifty Five

Dancing in the Dark masterlist

CW: Mentions of abuse

1984

It was quiet as the boat rocked back and forth on the water. Billy had his fishing line casted into the water, although there were no biters yet. He didn’t mind. He liked just sitting there, soaking up the rays and listening to the way the water tapped against the side of the boat.

It was a rare occurrence that they went deep sea fishing, but he enjoyed it each time they did. Neil had a friend who owned a boat, it wasn’t actually theirs. They always cleaned it up nicely after, made it look like no one had even been there. 

Billy wasn’t completely stupid. He knew why Neil had taken him on a spontaneous trip. Neil had caught him packing, roughly shoving clothes and the little money he had into his school backpack. At the time he hadn’t cared where he ended up. He just needed out. Just like his mom had left.

He had thought a lot about her recently. He was starting to believe that’s why Neil kept his hair shaved all the time. When his hair was long and curly, he really did look like his mom. He thought that was where the similarities ended. Everything else seemed to be from Neil in his opinion. They had the same stoic features, the same anger and bitter personality. He was doomed.

Neil had caught him of course. He hadn’t said anything, just told him that they would be going fishing today. Billy wished he had been strong enough to walk away, to tell him to leave and that he was never going back. He couldn’t. Part of him was terrified of ending up alone. 

Neil was quiet like always, but Billy could tell he had something on his mind. He kept humming along to his old music on the radio, nothing that Billy had any interest in listening to. They had different music tastes, which was fine. He wouldn’t ever tell Neil that his taste in music was bad.

“What do you think?” He asked him, speaking out for the first time. Billy really wasn’t sure what he should say. There were a lot of different things going through his mind at the moment, but none of them felt right to talk about. 

“It’s nice out,” Billy replied quickly, “I like being this far out.” He shrugged his shoulders, feeling like that was simple enough. He really didn’t know what Neil wanted from him. 

“Maybe we’ll get a boat one day.” Neil suggested, making Billy raise his eyebrows in surprise. He doubted that Neil was being serious. There was no way they’d ever really be able to afford a boat. It was just a way to lure him back in. “That would be nice.” Billy agreed softly as he stared off towards the distance again. He was thankful for his sunglasses and his hat, knowing that it covered the nasty bruise on the side of his face. 

“My father had a boat.” Neil started slowly, making Billy turn towards him in confusion. Neil never talked about his parents, much less his father. He couldn’t help but want to know more. 

“Did he take you fishing often?” He asked slowly, wondering if Neil would respond to him at all. Sometimes when Billy brought things up, Neil just ignored him. He would just act like Billy hadn’t said anything at all. 

“Sometimes,” Neil said softly, “He used to make me kill all the fish.” He still remained stoic. Billy observed him, trying to get any sense of emotion from him. There was nothing. He wondered if Neil was just made of anger. If that’s all he was made of. 

“Oh,” Billy paused, unsure of how to answer, “I’m sorry.” He furrowed his eyebrows together, agreeing that killing the fish was the worst part. He had only done it once, Neil usually handed that part. Billy had been sure that Neil enjoyed it. 

“It’s what men have to do, they’re just animals,” He said as he brought his beer back up to his lips. Billy had one in his lap as well. He was always allowed one when they went out together. He savored it, but deep down he knew that he could probably drink Neil under the table if it came to it, “He wasn’t very nice though.”

Billy didn’t know what to say. He knew that Neil wasn’t very nice either, so perhaps in some twisted way Neil had deserved it. Then again, Neil probably would’ve been a lot better to Billy if his dad hadn’t been mean. It made him bitter.

“That can be hard.” Billy felt like this was some odd dream as the boat continued to rock him back and forth. He wondered if Neil could hear himself speak, if he realized just how cruel he was or if he ignored that all together. 

“It’s why my nose is so crooked,” Neil pointed out as he pressed a finger against the ridge, “On my back too. It’s just covered in scars from his belt.” He sat forward, pulling his shirt up just a bit in the back to reveal the marks he was talking about. 

Billy paused as he looked back to his fishing line, hiding the way he had turned to the scar on his thigh that was slightly revealed from how his shorts had gotten caught in the wind. It was from Neil’s belt as well. He guessed that he had been twelve when that one had happened. He had an urge to reach out and touch it, but quickly stopped himself. That would only make Neil angry. 

“That’s awful.” He agreed as he chewed on his bottom lip. He took another sip from his drink, really wishing he had a cigarette right about now. He’d started smoking them a lot more recently. It helped soothe his nerves, especially when he felt like he was walking on eggshells like he did right now. 

“I thought so at one time,” Neil mused softly, “But it’s just what a father has to do to get his boy to listen. You’ll understand that one day when you have sons.” The comment was supposed to be lighthearted, but Billy felt like it was more of a threat than anything. 

Billy was quiet again, because he didn’t think that Neil would appreciate him retorting that he was sure he never wanted kids. He didn’t want them to be fucked up like he was, nor did he think he’d ever be with someone that seriously. Love was dumb. Relationships never really lasted, at least not in a happy way. 

Even if he did accidentally knock a girl up, he didn’t want a son. He wouldn’t want anything to do with someone who could turn out like him. He slowly began to reel his line back in, fearful that he’d just fall down the same path as his father. He wondered where the line would end? With some son that he wouldn’t want? There was no way. He wouldn’t let him get close enough to anyone to hurt them like that. 

He had a million different questions about Neil’s family but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. He knew very little about both of his parents' pasts, but he felt like he should at least be aware of Neil’s history. He was the one that stuck around after all. 

“I’ve met someone,” Neil said softly, taking Billy by surprise, “Someone I think you’ll really like.” Billy sat still, thinking about how well Stacey had liked him. He gulped hard, feeling like his drink had quickly turned sour. He shook his head, reminding himself that it was no big deal. She was gone. He was grown. And Neil never found out. It was fine. 

“Yeah?” He cleared his throat as he spoke, resisting the urge to drown the rest of his drink as he suddenly felt the sun becoming too hot and the rocking of the boat a little too annoying. 

“She’s very sweet,” Neil nodded his head, “She has daughters, one close to your age so I’m expecting a lot from you.” Neil turned to face him fully then, his eyes expectant and stern as Billy felt his jaw go slack. 

“Oh,” Billy paused, “I would never-,” He started to defend himself, wondering if his dad really thought that low of him. 

“I didn’t say you would,” Neil reassured him, “But I want you to behave well. This woman and I are going to be together for a long time. We’re going to be a family.” He nodded his head, looking like it was already decided. Billy simmered in his seat, wondering why Neil couldn’t at least introduce them all first. He didn’t want to be a part of a family. 

“Okay,” Billy drew out slowly, “When are we meeting them?” He asked him instead, knowing full well that he’d only end up with a fresh bruise if he pouted about it. He stared towards the water, suddenly wondering if Neil would just toss him over the boat if he expressed his worries. 

“Soon,” Neil nodded his head softly, “She’s a lot better than your mother. I promise you that.” The mention of her made Billy’s stomach clench, his heart stop as he suddenly thought about how much she loved the water too. He felt his fingers tighten around his bottle. 

“Oh,” Billy did his best to act unbothered, although it still hurt, “That’s good.” He nodded his head, but was unsure of how anyone could be better than her. She had been a great mom, an amazing person. And she had left. Everyone always left. 

“That car you’ve been looking at,” Neil dragged out slowly before they slowly drifted into silence again, “Maybe we could look at it again?” He suggested, his lips curling into the softest smile. It was so gentle that Billy almost missed it. 

“I have half saved up,” Billy perked up a little bit and did his best to not act too excited even though he was, “It’s a nice one.” He told him, thinking of all the research he’d done on the vehicle. He wouldn’t get it without Neil’s permission. Well, that and it wasn’t like he’d have that much money anyways. 

“It is,” Neil agreed, “We can look at it tomorrow.” He took him by surprise, making him blink quickly as he nodded his head. He felt silly as he thought about the half packed bag on his bed. Things really weren’t that bad. 

“Thank you,” Billy breathed out softly, “Sir.” 

1986

“How are you feeling?” He asked, feeling awkward as he held a bouquet of daisies and a few balloons together. Kim had been adamant that they needed to get some sort of get well present for Gina. 

“Pissed.” Gina answered, her shoulders pressed tightly together as her hair laid in disarray on top of her head. She was pale, with big bags underneath her eyes. Billy glanced over at Kim, who was fiddling with the many bars of chocolate that she’d snuck in before he answered. 

“Pissed?” He questioned, feeling like that was the last thing she would feel. She snapped her gaze up to him, looking irritated before she spoke again. 

“I can’t see my fucking baby, the tore my insides out,” She started, “And they won’t take this stupid catheter out. I can pee on my own, I don’t need it.” She gestured down between her legs but Billy quickly looked away, not at all interested in knowing where a catheter went. 

“I’m sorry you’re having a rough time,” Kim added gently, “We got you breakfast.” She smiled, finally pulling out the sandwich that they had purchased earlier. Billy pulled her purse from her, frowning as he looked at the disorganized mess that was her bag. 

“Thank you,” Gina smiled gently at her, “Where’s Steve?” She asked, looking up at Billy expectantly as she bit into her food. He shrugged his shoulders, unsure if she really wanted to know the answer. 

“He went to see Jennifer,” Kim added gently, “We wanted to see how you were doing.” She said happily, cheering up the whole room as she brushed her fingers across Gina’s loose strands. 

“Oh,” Gina nodded as she blinked slowly, then took another bite from her food, “I appreciate that.” She grumbled, looking even more irritated as she munched down on her food. He glanced towards Kim, meeting her eye as they shared the same awkward expression. 

“My mom wants to know when you’ll get out of here,” Billy mumbled, “She wants to make you a meal.” He tried to lighten the mood, taking a moment as he began to sort through Kim’s bag. He pulled free old doodles, discarded lip glosses and lots of candies. He shook his head, beginning to read a slip of paper before she yanked it from his hands. He cocked an eyebrow, watching the way her face burned as she shoved it into her pocket. 

“I’d like that,” Gina sighed as she ate the rest of her sandwich, “How are you guys doing?” She looked at them curiously, seemingly relaxing as Billy continued to work on cleaning Kim’s bag up. He shook his head, unsure of how she was able to be so messy. 

“Good,” Kim nodded her head in agreement as she sat down closest to her, “She looks really cute by the way, Jennifer does.” She said with a smile. Gina perked up, tilting her head as she watched Kim. 

“Does she look more like me or Steve?” Gina questioned, making Billy feel a little bad as he realized that she wasn’t able to see her yet. He finished with Kim’s bag, tossing aside the empty lip gloss tubes. He brushed his palms on his jeans, fairly certain that they were now covered in glitter. 

“She has Steve’s hair for sure,” Kim nodded as she looked towards Billy, “Maybe you can have him come up here?” She raised her eyebrows softly, giving him a look that he quickly understood. He dropped her bag at the edge of the bed.

“I don’t want to bother him.” Gina huffed underneath her breath, looking like it was a bother. Billy shook his head softly, sure that if Kim was in her shoes he’d be attached to her side the whole time. 

“I’ll go check on him.” He said at last, feeling like he could at least remind Steve that he needed to check on the woman that delivered his kid. Then again, he didn’t think that Steve should be reminded of that. 

The hallways were long and windy, the elevators slow as he waited for the floor number to appear. Billy was slowly beginning to hate hospitals. They just seemed gloomy. He wondered if it would make people feel any better if they looked happier. 

“Gina is looking for you.” He retorted once he followed the several steps to get into the room again. He peeped down at where Jennifer was resting, her fists clenched tightly together. 

“I’ll be up there in a minute,” Steve mumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest, “I just-, I feel bad.” He said quickly, making Billy cock an eyebrow in confusion. 

“About what?” He asked him, feeling like there wasn’t much he could do in this situation. It was one of those things that was far out of their control. Sometimes things just happened. He was reminded of that as he thought of his own father once again. 

“Making her go through with that,” Steve told him honestly, “I’m grateful for our baby, but I didn’t think it would ever be this bad.” He looked stunned as he spoke, like he really couldn’t believe that it had been that bad. Billy really wasn’t sure what to tell him. He didn’t know it could be that terrible either. 

“She doesn’t look that bad,” Billy told him honestly, “She’s actually pretty mad over everything.” He told Steve seriously, thinking that his absence had a lot to do with Gina’s anger. 

“Sounds like her.” Steve chuckled underneath his breath as he tapped his fingers against the little enclosure gently. Billy looked down once again, watching the way Jennifer continued to slumber on. 

“She’s your girl,” He said again, “You should go see her.” He told her seriously, feeling like he would only make the situation worse by ignoring her. Gina could get scary. 

“I’m really afraid I’m going to end up like my dad.” Steve said suddenly, taking Billy by surprise. He blinked for a moment. 

“What?” He asked him, furrowing his eyebrows as he was sure he couldn’t have something so personal to relate to. He was almost sure that his situation was more delicate. 

“My dad was a total dick,” Steve mumbled, “Not in the way yours was. In a different way.” He confirmed Billy’s thoughts, but it also made him knit his eyebrows together tightly. He felt awkward, knowing that everyone else knew about how cruel Neil could be. 

“How so?” Billy asked him curiously, feeling like he was at a loss for one. He didn’t know much about the Harringtons. Just little rumors. He knew that Mr. Harrington was an apparent manwhore, but his wife never did anything about it. 

“He just wanted a lot from me that I wasn’t able to give,” Steve replied softly, “He’s this super genius and I just-, I’m not. But he thought I should be.” He shrugged his shoulders, looking like he’d just been kicked as he thought to himself. 

“I understand.” Billy nodded his head, knowing that Neil wanted something from him. He just never figured it out. Nothing was ever good enough for Neil. He was just used to being a failure. 

“Sometimes my words get jumbled when I read, you know. I don’t know why but they do,” Steve said slowly, “And he used to have me read these science articles with these words that I didn’t understand, like in front of his colleges. It was humiliating. But it was like a running joke for them, that someone as brilliant as him could have such a dumb kid.” Billy paused, watching the emotions that flashed through Steve’s eyes. 

“What did your mom do?” Billy asked him, feeling like his mom should’ve intervened at some point. He was sure that Rosemary would’ve done that for him. If they had that chance. 

“I never told her that he did that,” Steve said honestly, “I was too embarrassed you know, I was just a kid. I don’t know.” He shrugged his shoulders, looking like he didn’t know what else to say. Billy understood. 

“He shouldn’t have done that to you.” He told him softly, unable to stop his thoughts from wandering back to Neil. He felt sick suddenly. He wanted his own answers from Neil, but he doubted he’d ever be brave enough to ask. 

“I want to give her a better life. And Gina,” Steve sighed deeply, “But I’m still living off of his money. It's just stuck in the back of my mind. I owe him a lot, despite all of that.” He continued on, looking frustrated as he crossed his arms over his chest again.

“Parents suck,” Billy replied gently, “Mine got transferred here.” He said softly, unsure of why he was even bringing it up. Just because Neil got transferred, didn’t mean that he had to see him. He didn’t have to talk to him either. He had some answers, that was all that mattered. 

“He did?” Steve turned towards him curiously, raising an eyebrow as Billy focused on anything else. He still didn’t like being vulnerable in front of anyone. He glanced around, as if Kim would suddenly appear. 

“They think he’s losing his memories,” He started slowly, “And I still feel guilty about it, like it’s my fault.” He said, realizing just how insane it sounded as he spoke. He wondered if he should’ve just kept talking to Neil. Maybe that could’ve fixed things. 

“It’s not.” Steve told him, furrowing his eyebrows together like he knew all of the answers. Billy shook his head, deciding that he wasn’t in a mood to argue about it. 

“And you don’t owe your dad anything,” Billy pointed out, “Come on. Jennifer will be okay here. Gina needs you.” He told him seriously, taking a step back as Steve moved slowly towards the door. 

Billy left with Kim not long after. Steve seemed a little more understanding of the situation and Billy couldn’t stay long anyways. He had another drug test today. He was dreading it, even though he knew it would be clean. 

“You know,” Billy turned to face Kim, “I wouldn’t leave you alone if you were in that position.” She looked at him a little surprised, fluttering her eyelashes as she moved the strands of hair from her slightly pink cheeks. He wondered if she was beginning to get a sunburn. 

“You’ve never been in that position, so how would you know?” She teased him, her lips curling into the soft smile as she pulled her bag onto his lap. He watched her for a moment, understanding that was true but also knowing that no one would compare to Kim. If she was hurt, above all things, he’d have to be near here. 

“I don’t think I could love anyone as much as I love you.” He told her seriously. He wanted everything with her, but he would do things to make her happy. He would be spending the rest of his life with her, afterall. 

“Oh my,” She giggled as she touched her hands to her hot cheeks, “I love you more than anyone else too. You’re very sweet.” She was fully flushing now as she glanced away, looking a little radiant as the sun brushed against her skin. 

“You’re very giggly.” He observed, feeling his own set of bubbles forming in his stomach as he slowly made his way out of the parking lot. He didn’t like how close the car on the left had parked to him. They could’ve dinged his door. 

“This is your fault,” She pointed out a second later, “You make me feel all-, ah.” She furrowed her eyebrows, gesturing towards herself as she looked to be confused. He raised an eyebrow. 

“Ah?” He questioned, shaking his head as a chuckle left his lips. He sat forward, making sure both ways were good to go before he pulled out onto the street. 

“Yes,” She said slowly, “It makes sense to me, okay?” She said at last, looking quite determined in her answer as she nodded her head stiffly. He brushed his tongue against his teeth, grinning as he glanced towards her again. 

“You make me feel all ah too,” He mocked playfully, “Do you have anything planned today?” He asked her, trying to decide if he should drop her off at the house before he went in to his appointment. 

“Hm,” She tapped her finger against her chin playfully, “I was thinking about bothering this hot blonde. He’s a little grumpy, and has a smoking problem too. But he has the biggest heart I know.” She grinned teasingly at him, making him shake his head at her playful tone. 

“I have to get tested today,” Billy started slowly, “Do you want to come with me?” He asked her, wondering if she’d have any desire to do so. She was silent for a moment, leaving him confused as he glanced towards her bewildered expression. 

“You want me to watch you pee?” She asked slowly, her lips parted and her eyebrows raised high on her forehead as she squinted her eyes at him. He knitted his eyebrows together, trying to tell if she was serious or not. 

“No,” Billy said with a laugh, “Someone else watches me piss. You will sit in the waiting room and wait for me to be done.” He explained to her, watching the way her features slowly relaxed in understanding. He inhaled gently, very amused by her reaction. 

Oh,” She said slowly, her cheeks reddening, “Sure! That sounds like fun.” She laughed, leaning over to squeeze at his knee. He shook his head, knowing that it was anything but fun. He’d enjoy her presence, nonetheless. 

“Ready?” He asked once he pulled over, watching the way she began to clamber out of the car. He stared for just a moment, watching the way her sweater pulled up over her torso. He moved out after her. 

“Absolutely,” She nodded her head, “Let’s go.” She linked their arms together, smiling brightly as she walked inside with him. He suddenly wished he’d smoked a cigarette on the drive over. 

She looked around curiously, dragging her feet about as he began to slowly push her forward. Her hazel eyes flashed about, taking in everything at once as her eyebrows slowly knitted together in concentration. 

“Do you need to check in?” She asked him once she brought her attention back to him. He grinned, sure that they were standing entirely too close as he took in the freckles scattered across her face. 

“Yeah,” Billy responded as he thought about the last time he was here, “I had a 2:30 check in.” He explained as he walked forward, recognizing the check in nurse from last time. 

“Oh, okay,” She nodded as she handed him a clipboard, “Is this the girlfriend?” She asked curiously, looking a little too amused as she stared at Kim. Kim raised her eyebrows, suddenly flushed once again. 

“Um,” Billy paused, “Yes.” He said slowly, exhaling underneath his breath as he shook his head. He’d have to make Russell pay for it. 

“You told them about me?” Kim giggled a second later, once he had signed the papers and moved towards the waiting room. He exhaled as he rubbed his palms against his jeans, pausing as he wasn’t sure how to approach that subject. 

“Well,” Billy stalled again, “Russell did.” He said a second later, holding eye contact with her. She was still grinning, looking like she didn’t understand until her smile slowly began to drop. 

“Oh,” Kim stared at him for a moment until she realized what that meant, “Oh no.” She covered her mouth, looking back to the desk lady in horror as Billy wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

“Oh yes,” Billy laughed softly, “It’s exactly what you think.” He told her, enjoying the way her skin turned pink. He leaned forward, kissing the side of her exposed cheek. She shook her head as she mumbled something about Pearl getting payback. 

//////////////////////////////////////////////

“Where are we going now?” Kim asked as she finished off the rest of the fries, looking curiously at the stores that they were approaching. She pressed another few fries towards his mouth, sort of shoving them inside despite his best protests to disagree with her. 

“To get my tattoo fixed,” He replied with a mouthful, holding a hand out to keep the fries from falling from his lips, “I want you to go with me.” He told her, feeling like they’d need to practice on her feeding skills before they had kids. 

“Oh, yes,” Kim grinned from ear to ear, “I’d love to see how it’s done.” She said, looking interested as she held the empty fry box on her lap. He was at least glad that she tried to keep his car as clean as possible. 

“Do you want one?” He grinned, liking the way her eyes grew wide as he parked the car. He was glad to see it wasn’t busy. He didn’t want too many people to see his embarrassing ink. 

“No way,” She giggled in response, “It sounds like it hurts.” She smiled as she got out of the car, making him a little disappointed that he couldn’t get her door for her first. He got out, watching as she raced up the steps and threw away the trash.

“Maybe you’ll change your mind.” He teased her, reaching his hand out to her outstretched one before they walked inside. She stood close to him, clinging to his side as he peered around for Alma.

“There you are,” She said as she pushed her hair out of her face, looking a little surprised as she leaned over a sketch, “I was beginning to think you were happy with it.” She smirked, looking rather pleased with her joke.

“Right,” Billy responded as he shook his head, “You said to wait. I listened.” He mumbled, sure that he could’ve gone somewhere else and got it done in no time. It probably wouldn’t have looked as good. 

“Hi,” Alma stuck her hand out, “You must be Kim. I’ve heard so much about you.” She introduced herself with a smile, but sent a wicked smirk in Billy’s direction. He shrugged his shoulders, knowing it was true. 

“Oh,” Kim flushed as she shook Alma’s hand, “You did really well on his tattoos.” She said softly, suddenly losing her peppy demeanor. Billy held onto her, resting his chin on her shoulder as he began to gently rock them back and forth. 

“This one wasn’t mine,” Alma defended herself quickly as she pointed to it, “I don’t know what he was thinking.” Kim giggled softly, looking over her shoulder at the way Billy had begun to roll his eyes. 

“Thanks,” He mumbled, “I just want her name changed. And the flower.” He nudged Kim forward, watching the way she shyly pulled the piece of paper from her pocket. 

“I drew a flower,” Kim said softly, “And some bees around it.” She explained as she motioned towards it. Billy grinned as he hopped up on the seat, hoping that she’d break out of her shell a little easier. 

“Looks good,” Alma smiled, “I like this a lot better.” She dragged out playfully, giving Billy a knowing look before she motioned for him to pull his shirt up. He grumbled but did as she said, watching the way she inspected the tattoo once again. 

There was a little more pain than last time, but he had been fairly drunk when he’d gotten it done. He was happy with the finished product, however. She made it look a lot better. It no longer made him disappointed when he stared at it. 

“Can you create cows?” Kim questioned, resting her forearms and chin against his thigh as she watched the way Alma began to wrap the tattoo up. 

“What sort of cows?” Alma asked curiously, flicking her eyes over towards where Kim’s face was knitted up in curiosity. He raised his eyebrows as he watched her, wondering if she was considering getting one. 

“I like all cows,” Kim said thoughtfully, “Though I do like Highland cows better. They’re so fluffy and they have big soft noses.” She replied, flushing a little as she held her head back down on his flesh. Almost like she was trying to hide away. 

“You want a cow tattooed onto you?” Billy asked her as he began to thread his fingers through her pretty hair. It was growing out, just slightly past her shoulders now. He figured she’d be happy once it was long again. 

“Should I not?” She asked him, looking a little worried as to what his answer would be. He paused, wondering if he should point out what his tattoos consisted of. 

“No, no,” Billy laughed, “Not what I’m saying at all.” He smiled as he twisted some of her hair around his fingers. He tugged on it softly, watching how she seemed a little excited once again. 

“Okay,” Kim said thoughtfully, “Maybe not? How bad does it hurt?” She asked, looking like she was considering it. He chewed on his bottom lip, fairly certain that she wouldn’t be able to handle the pain. 

“Depends,” Alma answered slowly, “There’s some stinging.” She said as she wrinkled her nose up, nodding her head as she clearly knew the pain was worse than just some stinging. Kim pressed her lips together.

“Never mind,” She said a second later, “I know where to go if I change my mind though.” She said a little softer, still looking bashful as she leaned against Billy’s hand. He smiled as he pressed his thumb against his cheek.

“I’ll practice drawing cows,” Alma grinned as she handed Billy his shirt back, “Give me just a second to get it rang up.” She explained as she stood up, stretching widely as she did so.

“What do you think?” He asked Kim softly, concentrating on the way her skin felt against his flesh. She smiled as she leaned against him. “I like it,” Kim giggled softly, “My name looks very nice on your skin.” She decided, nodding her head before she pressed a gentle kiss to his thumb. He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking that she was very right. 

//////////////////////////////////////////////

“Hey,” Billy replied solemnly as he slowly adjusted himself on the stool, “How are you doing?” He felt awkward as he balanced himself on the seat. He felt even more tense as he met Neil’s blue eyes. He was still a little bruised on the left side of his face, likely from where he fell. 

“How am I doing?” Neil asked, his voice a little gruff until his lips broke out into a grin, “How are you doing?” Billy blinked slowly, not quite used to Neil smiling in such a manner. In fact, he was sure that he had never seen Neil smile like that. Not even in old photographs. 

“I’m-, I’m good,” Billy paused, taken aback by his attitude, “I’ve been fine.” He furrowed his eyebrows together, suddenly wondering if they had brought the wrong inmate out. Neil didn’t seem to be how he remembered. 

“That’s not a real answer,” Neil chuckled as he brushed his fingers across his mustache, “What have you been up to? Did you decide on college?” He rambled off a few questions, leaving Billy confused. He remembered for a moment that Neil had been confused. He probably didn’t remember talking about college with Billy. But he was still slightly stunned. Did it really work that fast?

“No,” Billy said softly, surprised by his joyful tone, “Not much. Just working and spending time with Kim.” He replied a little gentler, testing the waters. He wanted to see if this was just a front, if Neil was just trying to pass a fast one on him. 

“Kim,” Neil stalled for a moment, “Which one was that?” He looked genuinely curious, his eyebrows knitted tightly together as he repeated her name again. Billy blinked slowly. 

“You don’t remember who Kim is?” Billy questioned him, feeling like that was odd. He glanced around for a moment, wondering if he should talk to someone about how bad his memory was. He was certain that Neil should be able to remember Kim. Did he remember Susan? Max?

“I’m a little foggy.” Neil apologized, his smile sincere but regretful. Billy couldn’t help but stare at him for a moment, trying to read between the lines. He felt like this had to be some sort of lie. After what he had done to them, how could he not remember who Kim was? 

“Kimberly,” Billy replied slowly, “Susan’s daughter.” He said a little sterner, watching the way Neil’s eyes lit up in recognition. He felt sick suddenly, understanding that it wasn’t a lie. He was serious. Neil hadn’t remembered her. 

“Oh right,” Neil laughed as he touched the top of his forehead, like it was obvious, “She’s a sweet girl. You know though, I could’ve found you a nice girl that wasn’t your sister.” He laughed, his features pinching up in amusement as if it was funny. 

“I like Kim,” Billy defended himself, “I love her.” He said seriously, not liking that Neil would suggest such a thing. He didn’t want anyone but Kim. 

“I guess that’s all that matters then, isn’t it?” Neil smiled warmly, making Billy feel nauseous. He was sure that Neli had never looked at him in that manner. He almost seemed proud. Like Billy was doing something right. He didn’t understand. 

“Yeah,” Billy nodded his head slowly, “That’s all that matters.” He tried to focus on Kim instead, thinking about how she was a short distance away in the parking lot. 

“Any big plans with her? Marriage? Kids?” Neil continued to ramble off questions, like he was making up for lost time. Billy paused again, wondering if that was perhaps what was happening. 

“Kids one day,” He said softly, “I’m going to propose soon. I was thinking about Valentine's Day.” He told him gently, unsure of why he was revealing his big plans. He wouldn’t hold it against Neil to do something on that day to ruin it. He thought that Kim would like something on Valentine’s Day though, even if it was also Max’s birthday. 

“Very romantic,” Neil agreed, “Are you living with each other?” He continued to ask him questions, still smiling like he wanted to know everything. Billy shifted, trying to adjust to the change. 

“Sort of,” Billy shifted in his seat, feeling a little lighter, “It’s actually kind of funny. Her dad is married to mom too. The universe must’ve had big plans for us. Or something like that.” He shrugged his shoulders, laughing a little bit.

Neil looked at him curiously, tilting his head before his eyebrows wrinkled together tightly. The atmosphere suddenly changed, becoming icy and more intense as Billy was sure that he had said something wrong. 

“You’re living with Rosemary?” Nell asked slowly, his voice full of venom as he drew the words out. Billy paused, not even thinking about how Neil would react to that. 

“Well, yeah I mean-,” Billy started to defend himself, only to be cut off when Neil started to yell. 

“You need to leave,” Neil spoke quickly, harsh and full of panic, “She’s the devil! It’s not safe for you there.” He was shouting, his face getting red and spit flying from his mouth. Billy winced, doing his best not to jump away. He could feel his heart hammering inside of his chest as his pulse quickened. He reminded himself he wasn’t a child. He was an adult and Neil couldn’t hurt him. Not here. 

“Right,” Billy scoffed, lookin at his father in disbelief, “It’s a lot safer than-,” He had full plans of telling him just how much better it was living with Rosemary. At least she cared for him. He was mad suddenly, angry that he had bought into Neil’s lies for so long. 

“She’ll kill you!” Neil was howling now, his face now dark red and spit flying from his mouth as he slammed his free fist into the screen between them, “Do you not remember what she did? It’s not safe!” Billy was frozen on the spot, not understanding the outburst. 

Guards rushed forward, dragging Neil away as he continued to kick and scream. It took at least five of them before they got him away from the booth, leaving Billy staring the whole time. 

He looked down, holding his fingers into a tight fist as he realized how badly he’d been shaking. He took a deep inhale, looking around numbly before he found one of the nurses. He needed answers. Nothing made sense. 

“What was that about?” Billy asked, still stunned as he listened to the way Neil was still screaming. He wondered what they would do to him. Would he calm down? Would he still be angry? 

“Sometimes hard memories can trigger strong reactions,” She paused softly, “It’s hard to understand how the mind works.” She looked at him apologetically, making him shake his head softly. He didn’t like that suggestion. He wanted a real answer. 

“What hard memories?” Billy questioned seriously, “He was the one that beat my mom. Not the other way around.” He told her, feeling angry even though she hadn’t said anything wrong. She had no idea how Neil was. Many people didn’t. 

“Sometimes people can flip when they get confused,” She explained slowly, “So he may have been mean in his past, but he’s been nothing but kind and polite since he’s been here. Sometimes they forget those memories too.” She told him, making him blink slowly as he tried to comprehend it all at once. 

“He just forgot everything he did?” He asked slowly, trying to confirm that’s what she was really saying. He knitted his eyebrows tightly together, frowning as he looked over his shoulder once again. 

“Maybe?” She suggested, “I really don’t have the answers for you. It’s a complicated disease.” She shrugged her shoulders softly, looking genuine as she spoke. He knew it wasn’t her fault. 

“Yeah,” Billy nodded his head, “Um, well thank you. Sorry about him.” He said a second later, not sure about what else to add. He wondered how Neil could think that Rosemary was the guilty party. It wasn’t right. 

“No need to apologize, we’ve seen worse,” She smiled, “All he does is talk about you. You must’ve been so lucky, even if he was mean to your mom. He seemed like a great dad.” Her words were sweet, just like sugar. It made him want to vomit. She was wrong. So wrong. His dad was great? That wasn’t Neil. 

“Oh,” Billy felt his expression drop, “Yeah. Thank you again.” His tongue felt heavy in his mouth as he lied. He pretended that Neil was great. That he was good to him. He blinked slowly, suddenly overwhelmed with the atmosphere as he bid a quick goodbye. 

He walked slowly back to the car, his feet dragging as he suddenly felt as if his legs were weighted down with cement. He gulped harshly, pushing his fingers through his hair as he approached the car. Kim was resting outside, reading a book that she quickly dropped as she turned towards him. 

“Are you okay?” She asked him, sounding a little panicked as he continued to blink. He parted his lips, still feeling like everything was crashing over him. He felt like he was sinking underneath the waves, not even staying afloat. 

“Can you drive?” He asked, feeling a little numb as he handed her the keys. She took them quickly, leading him towards the car and helping him inside. He accepted the help, feeling like things were moving a lot differently suddenly. 

“What happened?” She asked him gently as she crawled into the driver’s seat. He turned towards her, feeling like he couldn’t speak. She leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his. He breathed in deeply, then exhaled in the same manner. It took him a moment to realize that Kim was doing the same thing, guiding them. 

“It was weird,” He said at last, “He was happy. Like he didn’t remember anything that happened. Anything bad.” He explained as he pulled away, feeling a little bit better as he linked their fingers together. He liked the way her flesh felt against his. 

“Oh.” She said softly, her hazel eyes wide in confusion. He nodded his head, knowing that she would be just as confused as him. 

“He said my mom was dangerous.” He told her, wishing he had it in him to explain the way Neil had acted. He would do so later. Not right now. It was too hard to do right now. 

“Did they say what he has?” She asked, looking like she was thinking of a plan to make for them. He shook his head. They really hadn’t told him anything new. 

“Not for sure,” He replied gently, “He’s had issues remembering things, I guess. Small things. Kim, it was like he didn’t remember hitting me. Like none of that had ever happened.” He said at last, holding his hands out as he motioned them awkwardly around. He didn’t know what he was doing. He just felt like he needed to keep moving.

“Oh, Billy,” Kim replied gently as she took his hand, “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how this must feel.” She told him truthfully as she brought his hand up to her face. She kissed his fingertips slowly. 

“I’m just confused,” He said as he sat back in his chair, “None of it makes sense.” He said honestly. That was the most frustrating thing to him. He just didn’t understand what was happening. It was all so sudden. 

“Are you going to visit him again?” She asked him gently, still brushing her lips across his fingertips as he thought about it for a moment. He felt odd. Neil had been a different person. Almost like he wasn’t his father. Not really. 

“I don’t know.” He said truthfully. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to do so or not yet. He’d have to think about it, even though he was fairly certain he would. He would feel too guilty not to. Especially if Neil thought that he was some great son now, that their relationship was perfect. 

“Billy,” She spoke softly as she held onto his arm, “It’s okay, everything is going to be okay.” She said, sounding determined as she leaned over to kiss the tip of his nose. He nodded slowly as she pulled away, wishing that Neil would’ve wanted nothing to do with him. 

[ficthots]

To Whom It May Concern

A/N: Jesus I so overdid this, but I couldn’t help myself. Love triangle. Need I explain more? Also, I know this picture is way overused, but it's basically the only one of these two together! What's up with that by the way? Anywho, as always let me know what you guys think and enjoy!

Warnings: Smut. DNI if you are under 18. 18+ only

Word Count: 18.8k+

Falling in love is a right of passage. It happens at different ages and times for everyone. As you grow, so do your infatuations. These feelings you can’t begin to describe take over your being and infiltrate your mind daily. They can happen more than once, they can happen just once, it all varies and depends on the person. Loving love is what we're taught from such a young age. Why would anyone be anything but enthralled to finally feel the deep rooted sensations that accompany love?

Because they can be unrequited. A majority of the time they are. Whomever has captured your attention and the blossoming feelings that you begin to feel deep in your soul are simply unreturned. Never showing a large interest in even thinking about expressing or returning those emotions. 

That seemed to be your only experience with love. 

On more than one occasion you admit to staring off into space as you imagined him finally admitting his feelings for you. What your life and world could be like if he was by your side for it all. Something you had been imagining and daydreaming about since you first met him when you were just a child. Not fully comprehending what those butterflies in your stomach actually were. As you grew older, you harbored those feelings for him, settling for being just friends. 

You could be the friend. Sure, those feelings wouldn’t go away, in fact it was quite the opposite. They only expanded. Spending incredulous amounts of time together over the years meant it was the only way it was going to happen. The sweetest boy turned man you had ever met in your life. Watching from the sidelines as he hopped from relationship to relationship, never looking at you the way you had so desperately wanted for years. But it didn’t matter because it was him.

Danny. 

Having grown up with the Kiszka boys, Danny joined the group in middle school. The rest was history for you. The second the tall, lanky boy entered their living room, being introduced by Sam, you felt your mouth go dry. Eyes nearly bugging out of your head at the sight of him, you didn’t know what to say when he took the spot next to you on the floor, legs going under the coffee table.

The gang was playing a round of monopoly and when his knee lightly brushed yours, you melted into the floor. “Hey,” he said with a kind, but nervous smile. Clearing your throat, you anxiously straightened the fake money piles in front of you, terrified to make eye contact with him. “Hey,” you offered back eyes darting up to him and seeing his attention already focused on the board.

Staring at your best friend across the table, Sam’s eyebrows were furrowed, shaking his head no at you. Feeling heat creep up your cheeks and neck, you had a silent conversation using only various looks with the youngest brother. A throat cleared next to you, seeing older brother Jake’s head move between you both.

With a nudge, Jake spoke up, “It’s your turn, belly,” your eyes went wide at the horrendous nickname, embarrassment pummeling you at the term being used right then. “Belly? Why belly?” His voice spoke up from next to you, but everyone burst out in laughter as Sam tried to get the explanation out.

“Be-because, we went to a lake one summer a long time ago, an-and she belly flopped off the back of the boat into the wa-water.” Tears streamed down all of their faces at the ridiculous memory, but all he did was offer a light chuckle, elbow popping out towards your arm as he leaned towards you. “It’s better than all of your nicknames coming from being the tallest kid in the class or having a huge nose,” he gave a kind smile, trying to offer a sense of relief from the others still rolling around on the floor from laughter.

You nearly choked on your words as you tried to respond to him. “I-I like your nose. I don’t think it’s big at all. And Michael Davidson is taller than you,” his smile grew at your words. You couldn’t keep eye contact a second longer after that, eyes going back to the board and rolling your dice as Sam continued cackling. 

“Shut up, Sam! Or should I say skidmark,” as Jake and twin Josh had just caught their breath, they were back to rolling around on the floor dying in laughter. Sam quieted down right away after that, face burning bright red at the jab back at him. “Whatever, I don’t want to play anymore. Come on, Danny. I’ll show you my guitar. It’s pretty cool.” 

Jake slammed his money on the table as the boys pounded up the stairs, you staring after them in awe as they moved, Jake shouting after them, “Sam, I swear to god, if you touch my guitar, I’ll kill you!” You didn’t notice you had been staring until Josh spoke up next to you. 

“Well, I guess that mean’s games over. Can you help me put it away?” You snapped back into the moment, quickly nodding in agreement as you aided Josh in putting the game away. He chatted the entire time, but you had no idea what he had said at all. Only thinking about the new boy upstairs. 

That was just the beginning. He was around nearly every single day after that. Taking over as drummer for their little band and constantly being over for practice. You were over everyday because it was just what you did. Your parents worked late, and you weren’t comfortable being home alone so late, so you went to the Kiszka house until one of your parents would come and get you.

Unrequited love. That was the definition of your entire relationship with Danny. You had been in love with the boy since the day he had walked into the room, but nothing you did or said made a difference. In Danny’s eyes, you were just another part of the group. Nothing more.

Years rolled by with no advances. As he became an adopted brother to the boys, it seemed like you became his adopted sister. It didn’t matter what you tried, it simply just didn’t matter. Realization of this dawned on you during your senior year of high school. Prom season had quickly approached. Sam had asked one of the girls in your class, and you had been asked by two different guys that you had turned down.

Sitting in your room Sam had his legs straight up against your bed, back flush with the floor, tossing a ball up into the air while your other best friend, Marcia, sat at your desk while you looked at the dress you had bought for prom. 

“Okay, what do you think?” You turned to face them both, their heads turning to you and Marcy gasped, eyes wide as she nodded fervently. “Oh my god, yes, yes, yes! That dress is everything.” Sam nodded, going back to tossing his ball. “Looks good. Who are you going with? I heard that Mason Bloomson asked you. Did you say yes?” Eyes falling downcast, you shook your head. “Oh, yeah, he did. I turned him down,” Marcy’s jaw nearly hit the floor at your words. “You said no to Mason?” You only offered a shrug, turning back towards the floor length mirror, playing with the dress, wanting to avoid the topic all together.

Sam sighed, deciding to be as blunt as possible with you. “Danny’s not asking you, belly.” You shot him a dirty look through the mirror. “I’m not waiting for Dan-” he cut you off before you could finish, “He already asked Jessica Frock. She said yes,” you tried to mask the hurt expression that plastered to your face. 

Marcy’s face fell, locking eyes with you through the mirror, an apologetic look on her own face. Trying to shake it off, Sam carefully watched your reaction from the corner of his eyes. “I’m sorry, belly flop,” your nose and lips twitched to the side as you felt the hurt pummel you. 

“I wanted to go alone. It’s more fun that way.” Was all you could offer in return, now hating the color of dress you had picked. After having seen his suit just a couple weeks prior, the silver and gold dress you had selected because you thought it would match Danny well now seemed ridiculous. 

The day of prom, you spent nearly all day getting ready with Marcy, knowing it was time to go down the street for pictures. When you appeared at the Kiszka house for photos, your eyes were immediately drawn to him. He looked amazing. The suit fit him perfectly, not making him look as skinny as he typically did, hair slicked back, boutonniere pinned to his lapel. He looked happy as he and Jessica matched perfectly.

You felt heat creep up your neck at the whistle that came from the other side of the room. “You look amazing, belly.” Josh leaned against the doorframe, eyes bright with amusement as you walked over to him. “Thanks, chompers.” The nickname you came up for him based on the sheer size of his smile and teeth. His face lightly pinked at your words. 

Looking around the room, his brows furrowed as he saw Sam with his date, Danny with Jessica, and Marcy with hers, his eyes fell back to you. “Where’s your date? Is he running late?” You shook your head, taking in a short breath as you tried to laugh it off. “Oh, no. I’m going by myself.”

A look of shock took over Josh’s face at your words, standing up straight. “What? Why?” You couldn’t help but look at him. Laughing with Sam about the picture they had just taken together. “I-I just wasn’t asked by the right person.” Josh followed your gaze, nodding with understanding but not saying anything more. 

When the parents called you over for the group photo, you begrudgingly trekked over. The picture of you, Sam, and Danny had you placed in between them. “Ah, how cute! Danny and belly girl match!” Danny’s brows furrowed at his moms words, looking down to see what you were wearing. 

Laughter escaped him as he looked back towards the camera. “Oh, look we do.” His hand came up and lightly ruffled your hair. You tried to laugh through the awkwardness that sat deep in your stomach, smoothing down the top of your hair. “Ye-yeah.” That was the last Danny said to you all night. 

You ended up sitting on the balcony for most of the evening, watching over the party goers, tears streaming down your cheeks at how incredibly stupid you felt about the entire thing. You should’ve known better. Danny didn’t see you that way. The way you looked at him like he had hung the stars and the moon just for you. Like he was the only person in the world worth a damn. 

No, to Danny you were just another part of the group. When Sam invited you to a band practice one afternoon you knew you had nothing better to do so you went. Sitting in the garage listening to the sound pounding around you, you couldn’t fight the smile that grew on your face with each passing minute.

Eyes glued to him. He moved so easily despite the burn you knew he had in his arms. Never missing a beat, it was like second nature to him. He was captivating. As the boys went in to grab a drink of water, you remained in the garage with Danny. 

“So, what do you think?” You stood from your stool, walking over to the drum set. “Eh.” His shocked laugh fell from his lips. “Eh? We just poured out hearts and souls into this and you say eh?” You both fought through laughter as he feigned hurt. 

Giving a shrug, you went to his own seat, plopping down and grabbing the sticks from his hands. “Watch the professional. You might want to take notes here,” he leaned against a tool chest, arms crossed over his chest as he watched you. 

You took in a deep breath, rolling your head in an over dramatic way, wanting to make a show of this. When you opened your eyes, you immediately just started hitting everything you could, letting your foot go wild on the pedal, nothing but horrific noise going into the room. Danny started laughing so hard, he hunched over, hands flat on the tops of his thighs as he watched from the sidelines. 

“Okay, okay! Don’t break ‘em!” He approached you as you came to stop, out of breath from the exertion. Giggles falling from you. “I mean that was pretty good, right? I feel like we sounded exactly the same. I can be your understudy anytime. Just give me a call and I’m there.” 

He came up behind you, hands enclosing over yours, looming over you as he got your hands into actual position. His leg hooked under yours, moving it to the correct spot. His head came down, cheek nearly brushing yours as he spoke. “Yeah, let’s get some more practice first. Okay, it’s one-two-two-one,” he moved your hands with his, hitting the drums as he spoke. 

“Now, when you feel my foot hit yours, hit the pedal,” your tongue darted out as you tried adjusting your body to actually try and play. Continuing with the basic motions, him guiding you still, his foot occasionally tapping yours to remind you to hit the pedal, you actually had a smooth rhythm going.

The garage door opened, the guys walking in and seeing the beaming smile on your face as you played with Danny, slowly speeding up. “Huh? Look at this! I am so your back up drummer now.” All three of their eyebrows shot up, nodding, but Jake pointed to Danny. 

“Take your hands off,” he did so and you immediately lost the smooth pace you had been playing at. Pouting at Jake, you pointed a stick at him, “You’re such an ass!” Laughter erupted from everyone as Danny tapped your shoulder, letting you know it was time to get up.

Reluctantly standing, you once again took your regular spot, but Josh approached you. “Hey, I think you’ve got amazing potential. More so than me.” He shot you a wink as you laughed, pushing him away from you. 

You were buzzing for the remainder of the week. 

Nothing ever changed. Even as you grew older, having gone off to college, their music taking off. Becoming a massive success seemingly overnight. They weren’t home near enough anymore. When you were able to get home from school, they were almost always gone and vice versa. 

Of course, you dated around, but nothing ever stuck. No massive feelings ever erupting for anyone else. Still only viewing Danny in that light. It wasn’t until Christmas break when you had gotten home that you noticed an aura shift in the house. The bouncing boy, full of energy and life, came crashing into the party. 

Something was…different. You couldn’t help but look at Josh…different. When his eyes connected with yours, you didn’t think it was possible for his smile to grow larger, eyes get brighter, but he took off in your direction, enveloping you in a massive hug. Hands cupping your cheeks as he pulled back, a different look on his face than ever before. 

“My belly girl!” He pulled you back to him. Butterflies. 

It would be another year before anything would ever come of that. But it didn’t matter because he still caught your eye. Hair longer than ever before, eyes beaming as he took you in. Still Danny. Still not the look you dreamed of. 

“I’m fucking done. Do you have any idea how bad that date was last night?” Angrily slamming a plate into the soapy water into the sink below, your two best friends laughed on the other end of the FaceTime call. “No, belly, please do tell.” 

You gave Sam the dirtiest look you could manage as his sarcastic tone rang through the speaker. “No. Just for that, I won’t. There is nobody. Literally no good guys anymore. They’re all sleazy assholes and the ones that are good either don’t like you back or are taken. It’s a goddamn lose-lose situation, here!”

Frustration had your voice going up to a pitch it typically didn’t. “Bells, you just have bad taste in men.” Setting the plate down after scrubbing it roughly, you deadpanned to the split screen, Marcy’s words not making you feel any better. 

“Thanks for the help. I appreciate you both so much.” Sam groaned, moving around the hotel he was currently in before flipping a light switch on and showcasing his entire face for the first time. “If you would just act on your feelings maybe this wouldn’t be happening. You’re too afraid of everything and that’s the problem here and you know it.” 

Eyebrows drawing in at his words, your soap covered hands rested on the counter top. “Am not.” You muttered back, but Marcy caught it. “Are too! Both Danny and Josh are prime examples of this. You’ve had a crush on Danny since forever and Josh since you were nineteen years old. You. Are. A. Chicken.” 

Rolling your eyes, you continued with your dishes. “I don’t even like them anymore. They were phases. I had no interaction with any other boys until college. Of course I would like whoever was in front of me.” 

They both protested, but before they could continue Sam had to end the call, needing to head to the venue for their last show of their tour. An amazing, globe trotting tour that had you bursting with pride at the once garage band now literal rockstars. Seeing their dreams happen right before your eyes. 

You hardly spoke to anyone for the following few days, having had an insane time at work and knowing the boys were getting back to Nashville sometime that week, you were far too busy to dwell on it. They had basically followed you to Nashville, you having gotten into school there and finding a job right after school, the gang ended up following.

Collapsing on your couch with a loud sigh and groan, having changed for the night, you were looking forward to reading and consuming an adult cocktail, but that came to an abrupt halt when a knock sounded on the other side of your front door. Debating on ignoring it, a text came through to your phone just seconds later. 

Perm-It’s me. Open the door. Please :) 

Excitement coursed through you as you jumped from your seat and opened your door with haste. Throwing yourself into his embrace, his curls tickled your cheek as he wrapped his arms around you. “Belly!” You could hear the big smile through his words.

His arms tightened around you as you rocked with him, not wanting to let go just yet, one of his hands cradling the back of your head, the other wrapped tightly around your waist. “Fro boy! When did you guys get back?” He laughed, reluctantly letting you go, hands not leaving you just yet. 

“This afternoon.” You grabbed his hand, dragging him into your apartment and going to your kitchen to make him a drink. “I want to hear everything,” he cleared his throat, your back facing him, “Belly,” continuing on and ignoring him, you animatedly kept talking. “Tell me everything, every story,” he tried again to intervene, “Bells.” Still, you carried on. “I’ve only heard some from Sam, but you always tell them so much better than him.” 

When you turned on your heel, drink made for him in hand, the glass slipped from your fingers as you saw what he held in his hands, his cheeks bright red. He immediately went to clean the broken glass that scattered around the floor. “Ho-how di-did you get that?” Your finger pointed at the envelope in his hands, unable to process what was happening. 

With Josh still crouched on the floor, paper towels in hand, mopping up the liquid and picking up the glass shards, he answered. “It was in my mail when I got home.” Your trembling hands grabbed the envelope, praying that it wasn’t opened. 

It was.

“This isn’t even your current address.” You mumbled out, seeing the decorated envelope in your hands. When Josh stood back up, his gaze fell to it. “It was in another envelope.” Nodding, you went to your couch and sat down, the item still in your hands, unable to get up to speed. 

His awkward laugh broke through the room as he appeared in your line of vision. “I think we need to talk about it.” You swallowed thickly, not having blinked once. “Mhm.” You answered back. He sat on the coffee table, merely inches from you. 

He waited for you. Didn’t pressure you. Wanted you to be ready to share with him whatever you were feeling. Whatever explanation you wanted to give. Taking a deep breath, you calmed down enough to look into the large doe eyes peering at you, giving you a comforting smile. 

“I just want to start by saying that letter is old. Very old. That's why that address isn’t right. I don’t know how or who sent it, but it wasn’t me.” Josh laughed with a shrug, hands rubbing his knees. “I figured that out when you dropped that glass.” Your eyes shut, a small laugh bubbling from your lips. 

“Sorry about that by the way. It was gonna be a really good mule.” You both laughed together, feeling the tension slowly ease. “I wrote that letter when I knew I had feelings for you.” He nodded slowly, following along with your tale. 

A shuttered breath fell from your throat. “I’m not going to lie to you. I wrote that when I was hopelessly in love with you, Josh. I was nineteen. It was on that trip back home during the Christmas break of my sophomore year.” It dawned on him right then exactly what trip it was. 

“The kickback.” He breathed out. You flipped the envelope over, pulling the pieces of paper from it, unfolding and rereading the emotions you had felt tenfold when you wrote it. Everything rushing back to you then.

Joshua Michael Kiszka,

Oh, the brightest ball of sunshine that I have ever encountered and probably ever will. Do you know how much you light up a room when you enter it? You’ve done it since we were kids. Drawn all eyes to you. Pulling all the attention in a room straight to you. I am guilty of this. Of seeing you and only you. A spotlight if you will. 

I don’t know how else to explain this. How I’m feeling. The unexplainable, unmeasurable emotions that are erupting from deep within. Taking notice of my best friend’s older brother. The twin that I’ve always felt the strongest pull towards. That can have butterflies wrestling in my stomach with such a simple look. How you take care of me. Ensuring that I am always okay. No matter how far apart we are. How blind I’ve been, Josh. My sincerest apologies for not recognizing this sooner. Being preoccupied elsewhere. But not tonight. 

You kissed me tonight. 

The entire world faded away and in that moment it was just us. I wish it could remain that way for the rest of time together. We sat together at that kickback, bonfire roaring, but that wasn’t what kept me warm tonight. It was you. Your presence, your everloving persona. After having watched the show of a lifetime by you and your brothers, I thought it was just going to be like any other night. 

How wrong was I? Maybe it was the energy you had from the evening or maybe it was how you had been feeling for a long while. I never saw the looks you gave me until tonight, but you’ve always been there, haven’t you? I was just too dumb to see it. 

I love you, Josh. Forever yours. 

Belly

You couldn’t help but smile at the lovesick girl that wrote this. So overpowered by the emotions she had felt when the older brother kissed her. He had sat next to you on a log, asking you how you thought the show went. You two sat and talked for ages. About anything and everything. It happened in the blink of an eye. It was the way he looked at you and you looked at him. Like you were truly seeing him for the first time. 

Joshua.

“Do you still feel this way, belly?” His voice was nothing but a whisper. Not wanting to frighten you off. Buying you time to respond. Not needing an answer right away. Because Josh was never rushed. Never bothered by the wait. He continued on, still speaking low. “I’ve liked you for a long time. So long I can’t even think back to when it started. I-I didn’t know you felt the same otherwise I would’ve acted on it.”

When his eyes came back up and locked on yours, you went to answer, mouth opening to let sound out, but you heard your phone ding, drawing your attention to the cushion next to you that lit up. 

Little drummer boy- Attachment: 1 Image

Little drummer boy- Think we need to talk

Your mouth was gaping like a fish, trying to catch any air you possibly could. Feeling the beginnings of an anxiety attack barreling through you, nausea surfacing, you moved back from Josh. Leaning forward, you placed your forehead against the tops of your thighs, nearly brushing against your knees, trying to will your breathing back to normal.

“Belly, what’s going on? Breathe, take a breath,” Josh’s hand caressed your back, rubbing soothing circles, trying to muster up the courage to tell him what happened. “Someone else got a letter,” you mumbled it out so quietly, he almost wasn’t sure you had spoken at all. 

He lightly chuckled, withdrawing his hand from your warm back to let you properly sit up. “What?” With your eyes still squeezed shut, you sat upright and let a shaky breath out. “Someone else got a letter,” it was choked out, opening your eyes as you finished to see his expression.

It was his turn to be surprised. Bushy brows near kissing on his face, a puzzled look adorning his handsome features. “Wait, what? There’s-there’s another letter?” Your eyes shot up to the ceiling as your head fell back. “Technically three, but only two are accounted for,” gnawing on your lip, you saw a smile starting to grace his face. 

“Wow, alright. Three, huh?” You nodded, playing with the skin on your fingernails as you dove into a word vomit of an explanation. “I’ve written a letter for every person I’ve ever been in love with. All at very different times in my life. It was the only way for me to express my feelings without actually saying something.” 

Taking in a large breath after you had finished, that signature lopsided smile, the shit eating grin that turned you into mush, adorned his lips. “Who's the others?” Rolling your eyes, you propelled up from the couch, trying to figure out how to respond to Danny’s message. Maybe don’t respond at all and you just won’t have to deal with it.

“Uh uh.” You murmured out, nearly downing your own cocktail in one swig. He followed you, hand gripping your wrist and turning you to face him. “All I’m saying is I deserve to know. Might be some competition here,” he laughed at the end, but when your head snapped up from your screen, color draining from your face, it hit you.

This was going to be bad. Not just for you, but for literally every single one of the boys. Josh was obviously showing interest in you, Danny was probably going to want to stay as far away from you as possible from now on, it was just going to be…weird. His face deadpanned, smile diminishing as he knew who got the other letter.

His eyes stared at his shoes, kicking an imaginary rock around your kitchen as he bit out the name, not sure what to do. “Danny, right?” His arms were behind his back, each hand holding the other wrist. Standing back up straight, his eyes locked with yours. 

Immediate devastation. Loss. Not even a fighting chance. 

“Josh-I. Yeah. He got one of them.” He shrugged, a knowing look taking over. “So, that’s it then, right?” You immediately shook your head, reaching a hand out for his. “No, no. I-just, this is a lot happening at once. Can-can I just have some time?” He perked back up instantly, leaning forward and placing the gentlest kiss you had ever received on your lower cheek, capturing the highest corner of your mouth.

Squeezing your hand, eyes bright. Excited. Hopeful.

“I’m here. Whenever you’re ready. I’ll always be here.” Josh left just a second after that. Your hands trembled, picking your phone back up and just staring at the message. The text bubble popped back up, disappearing, and then another message appeared. 

Little drummer boy- C’mon over belly doors unlocked

It took every ounce of courage you had to get in your car and drive over to his home. It was a short drive, only seven minutes from your apartment complex, but it felt like the longest drive you had ever experienced in your life. 

You weren’t ready to do this. To deal with the feelings you had been harboring for years. Since the day you met him. You could’ve vomited as you trudged up his front steps, hand grabbing the cool knob, opening the door as you got the sweeping comfort of his home.

A warm embrace. The smell of him lingered everywhere, the cologne you adored more than anything was on every surface. The lights were dim in the house, only some low lights on, music playing through the surround sound speakers. His back was to you as he stood in the kitchen. 

Clearing your throat, you were terrified your wavering voice would crack and break as you spoke to him. “Dan-danny?” He instantly turned and faced you, a large smile on his face as he nearly ran from the kitchen, sweeping you up in his embrace, crushing you to him.

Your laughter mixed with his, arms enclosing around his neck, the long curls covering your arms. “Belly! God I missed you,” he placed a large kiss to the side of your head, placing you back on the floor, arms not removing from you as he did. “Hey yourself,” you still were giggling at his over excitement. 

His large hands came up, cradling both sides of your jaw, eyes squinted as his smile took over his face. Smushing your cheeks together, he was reluctant to let you go, but you batted his hands away with a laugh. Your eyes immediately fell to the counter where it sat. Waiting.

Gaze following yours, his lips sucked back into his mouth, hands tucking into the tight pockets of his dark jeans.  “I’m so sorry, Danny. I-I don’t know how it got to you, who sent it, I-I just have no clue.” You were speaking quietly, eyes not being able to pull away from the torn top of the letter. 

He motioned to his living room, grabbing the letter as you both made your way to the couch. You sat far from him. Not wanting to make this any more uncomfortable then it had to be. Playing with the envelope in his hands, his eyes remained stuck on it. You weren’t even sure where to start. Not with Danny.

“I wrote that letter when I was seventeen. It was-was never supposed to be seen by anybody, especially you. That letter was the only way I could channel all of those feelings into some sort of outlet. I had-had been feeling that way for so long,” he cut you off as you spoke, “Since we first met.” His eyes cut up to yours, swallowing thickly at his intense stare.

You couldn’t speak. Wanting to deny it, but you literally couldn’t. He had the proof right there in his hands. Instead you just nodded. Danny tossed the letter onto the coffee table in front of him, hands coming up to rub harshly at his face. A frustrated sigh turned groan leaving him as he tried to gather his thoughts. 

“Belly, I didn’t-had I-I’m sorry.” You couldn’t look at him, see the pure anger. Disappointment. All of it painting his face. “No, I know you didn’t. Please don’t apologize. It-it was years ago. All in the past.” Finding the fuzz on your leggings of more interest, you picked it off, a pained laugh bubbling from your throat, trying to ease the seriousness of this. 

In the blink of an eye, Danny was sitting right next to you, shaking his head fervently at your words. “No, oh my god, belly no. I didn’t mean-I just meant I didn’t know you felt that way. I didn’t want to create some crazy idea in my head that couldn’t be lived up to, you know what I mean? You were-are so out of my league, I never thought.” He trailed off at the end, leaving you absolutely speechless. 

Not offering any more words, Danny continued on. “You’re an amazing person, belly. That’s why I never tried more with you. I don’t take rejection very well and had things not worked or you said no, it would’ve made things bad. I’m sorry.” As Danny poured his entire heart out and all the qualms he’d been facing, all your mind could think of was Josh.

How despite not noticing him in that way, seeing the pure joy that crossed his face every time he saw you, he did exactly that. Saw you. Looked at you the way you wanted. How a small portion of your stomach still flipped when you thought of his toothy grin. The same way the other half of your tummy would erupt in nerves when Danny would laugh. 

“There’s other letters.” You finally blurted out. He halted, trying to understand what you meant. “I wrote one for each person I ever fell in love with. You were one, there’s another one I’m not entirely sure if it was sent, and-” you paused, trying to muster the courage to just be honest with him, “and the other went to Josh.” Your voice was whisper quiet at the end, on the edge of your seat to see his reaction. 

Standing from his spot on the couch, your neck craned back to watch him. His hands went to his hips, beginning to think out loud. “Josh Josh?” You nodded, not wanting to speak anymore and have this spiral out of control. “You have feelings for him?”

You responded quickly, wanting to set this straight. “Had! I mean,” you took in a deep breath, somehow on your feet, but not recalling when you too had stood up, “I don’t know. There's a lot happening right now and these were written so long ago and a long time apart. Different times of my life.” 

Trying to get your point across was only further confusing the boy. “Well, now you’re here. At this point in your life. Belly, how do you feel now? You-your letter says you have always had feelings for me. What happened to where it shifted to Josh? What did I do?” His eyes were wild, not focusing on anything as his mind raced a mile a minute, hands moving around like crazy.

You scoffed at his question, seeming as though the answer was blaringly obvious. “You never showed interest in me, Danny. I moved on. I had to move on from the childhood crush that had taken over my life. I couldn’t waste any more time sitting there love sick over you.” His eyes grew glassy as he stared at you from across the room. 

Head falling downcast, he nodded his head. “It’s Josh then, right?” Babbling incoherently, you crossed your arms over your chest, observing his movements. Body rigid with nerves, waiting for your response. “No. I don’t know right now.”

He crossed the room, hands taking your elbows and pulling you towards him, removing your hands from your biceps and enclosing in his. “Give me a chance, bells. A chance to just-just make this right. Fix what I fucked up.” Your eyes were wide, feeling him peer into you. 

Seeing you.

Slowly nodding your head, his hands moved from yours, one slipping under your hair, cupping around the back of your neck, the other landing on your hip, he tilted your head down. Your hands stayed limp at your sides, not sure what to do at this moment as his lips landed softly on your forehead, then your hairline, bringing you closer to him and simply holding you. Just for a moment. 

You left Danny’s house that night and as soon as you got back to your apartment, you began wracking your brain for how those letters could have possibly been sent out. The FaceTime call dial echoed in the quiet house, both of them picking up at the same time.

“Who did it?” You immediately spoke out, anger coursing through your veins, nearly quivering. Neither responded, so you pressed again. Still not a response. “Belly, can you please clarify?” Sam finally spoke. 

Jaw setting, a small tick being heard which meant your jaw had in fact locked just momentarily, you talked through gritted teeth. “The. Letters. Who sent them?” When Sam and Marcy both snorted through the speaker, you wanted to throw your phone at the wall as though it would actually harm them in the moment. 

“We both did. You’re welcome by the way.” Marcy said through giggles. You feigned a laugh, a simple ha ha falling from you, directing your attention solely to Sam. “Oh yeah, real good idea guys. Hey, Sammy?” He hummed in response, eyes finally looking at the screen for the first time. 

You gave a sarcastic grin, obviously not entertained with this. “Do you know who those letters were for?” He shook his head, closing his eyes, and speaking. “No, of course not. I didn’t want to invade your privacy like that.” 

Nodding with a laugh to match theirs, still not sincere, you decided it was time to pop his bubble. Pull him from the high and mighty spot he held himself in. “Well, only two of the three have been noted. Both sent to your brothers. Remember Danny and Josh?” 

Watching as his smile fell from his face, a mixture of shock and anger morphed his features. “What?” You continued with the faux smile plastered on your mouth. “Yup. It gets better! Josh showed up at my apartment, told me he had strong feelings for me and at the exact moment he’s telling me that I get a notification from Danny that he got his! Head over to his place and guess what? He too has feelings for me. Now, I turn to you two. What the fuck do I do?” 

Your smile had entirely fallen at the end, shouting into the speaker at the pair who both sat in utter silence. Sam tossed his phone onto a nearby surface, a loud groan echoing through his home before he picked it up, deadpanned once more as he eyed you. 

“Decide now. Who is it?” You shake your head, not even wanting to deal with that yet. A small giggle bubbles from the back of your throat, soon collapsing into a heap of laughter. The entire absurdity of the situation smacking you across the face. 

It wasn’t long before the two others joined you, wiping tears that spilled from the corners of their eyes. “Well, belly, I don’t think you can say that there aren’t any good guys interested in you anymore. Now you have two to choose from.”

You left the phone call at that. This entire thing was absolutely ridiculous. Both of these boys whom you had admittedly fallen in love with over the course of many years who had never shown true interest in you now both vying for you. What the fuck were you supposed to do?

Ignoring texts and phone calls for the next few days only proved futile enough until Sam begged you to come to the studio and listen to their newest album. He claimed the finishing touches had been done except for one final song, but that he was finally ready for you to hear it. The ramifications of the problem didn’t hit you until you stepped foot into the studio and both of their eyes set upon you. 

Honestly, you had mainly forgotten about it to the best of your ability. Shoving it to the furthest, darkest corner of your brain only worked momentarily until you locked eyes with Josh. A large smile broke across his face, dimples sinking into his chiseled cheeks, the tiniest, miniscule of a gap showcased only when he smiled like this was out. Your heart race increased tenfold. 

Not able to maintain eye contact, your head swiveled to see the other twin pull you into a side embrace, leading you out to sit in a chair and truly take in the magic he was about to play for you. Once you sat in your designated chair, your eyes scanned the room for Sam, but almost instinctively found Danny.

Cleaning up his area of the studio, grabbing his belongings, and turning around, his laser focused gaze fell to you. Neither of you made a move to smile, breath catching in your throat, not daring to blink first, only feeling the intensity of the stare. To break it, you offered a small wave. A total dork move, but it was all you had. It did the trick. He broke out into a large grin, waving back as his cheeks tinted ever so slightly. 

Snapping your attention back to the sound board, Sam began playing it in the proposed order that he and Jake fought over for months, according to the elder brother. Sitting and listening as intently as possible, you could see how proud they truly were of this album. Their newest baby to the bunch.

A beaming smile broke across your face as the music came to an end. “It’s amazing, guys. Really, like holy shit. I’m literally buzzing. Look, my hand is shaking!” They fell into laughter and conversation about your deeper thoughts, the messages they were trying to send, if you had even gotten them to begin with. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you watched as Josh approached you, hands stuffed into his pockets, a tint creeping upon the apples of his cheeks, head downcast as his brothers all filed out of the room. “Hey, belly,” you bit back a laugh at how incredibly nervous he seemed to be by just trying to talk to you. 

“Hey, Josh.” He took the seat that his twin had just been in, leaning onto his knees and staring at you. His wide eyes glistened in the lower light of the studio. You found yourself getting lost in them, the endless swirls of deep chocolate and honey hues colliding together, solely focused on what was in front of him. You. 

He cleared his throat, nearly tripping over his words as he played with his hands, clearly nervous to even be bringing this up to you. “So-so, I was won-wondering if maybe I can take you out this week? Like dinner, activity, whatever you want,” his hopefulness seeped into every word. You chuckled at him, leaning back in your chair and made a show of thinking it over. 

“Activity, huh? What kind of activity we talking about?” He could easily tell you were poking fun at him, rolling his eyes, the tension he held in his shoulders dissipating as you spoke. His own laughter fell into his response. “Laying it all out there I was hoping to get you home and do some adult activities, but only after mini golf.” 

Your head tipped back a cackle shaking your throat, eyes closed as you tried to catch your breath. “I appreciate the honesty. How about we start with the mini golf and see where the night goes?” He feigned a scoff, acting insulted that you would shut him down so blatantly. “Well, if that’s all I’m gonna get, then I guess.” 

His hands reached forward, taking yours into his, and rubbed his thumb soothingly along the backs of your hands. Your giggles slowly subsided as his touch grounded you back down. “Friday at eight?” You said through the biggest smile you had mustered up all week. A true, genuine, heartfelt grin that only Josh could bring out. One that was only ever accompanied by the stomach aching laughter he induced. 

Eagerly nodding, he leaned ever so slightly forward, lips dusting across your cheek. You didn’t miss the quiver of his lips that he silently prayed you didn’t notice. The way his soft mustache tickled the smooth skin as it made contact. How incredibly warm his lips were as they met you, leaving a searing memory in its wake. 

Giving your hands a slight squeeze, you finally felt like you could catch your breath as he separated from you. Instantly missing the comfort his touch offered you. Friday at eight. Two days to prep. 

It wasn’t enough.

As you finished getting dressed, you stared at your reflection in the mirror, entirely flabbergasted that you were about to go out on a date. With Josh. Actually going out on an adult date with Josh. The more you dwelled on it, the more the tremor in your hands became a full fledged shake. Nearly jumping out of your skin as a knock on your door echoed through your apartment. 

Trembling hands attempting to fix the slightly smeared lipstick as you called out to him that you’d be there in a second. Rushing over to the door when deciding that your look was about as good as it was going to get, you pulled the door open. 

His cheeks had to ache, you thought to yourself. Constantly being pulled so tightly with how large of a smile was almost always on his face. It never seemed to phase or bug him at all. It was like that was where it was meant to be. How he was permanently supposed to look. 

When your actual name fell from his lips, you felt your stomach flip on itself, feeling the shake leave your hands but find home in your knees instead. “You-just yeah, wow, okay.” He couldn’t seem to settle on the correct verbage to truly describe how amazing you looked. His brain was running on hyperspeed, but his mouth could never seem to catch up. Instead, he fumbled over his words, feeling his temperature continuously rise the more he fucked up.

“I’m going to take that as a good sign,” you breathed out with a laugh. Only able to nod, curled due bobbing with him, you took his outstretched hand and let him lead you to whatever he had in store for the night. 

You had thought about this more often than you would have liked to admit. What it would be like going on a date with Josh. Sitting on your bedroom floor, mindlessly thinking about what it would even look like. It was nearly unbelievable that you were sat out at an incredibly nice restaurant with him, trying to stifle your uncontrollable howls as he told you story after story about their tour. 

Being slightly tipsy from the cocktails that never seemed to be fully empty before a new one was placed on the table, you were sure you had nearly drunk their entire drink menu. The food was some of the best you had ever had, candlelight filled the table space, the rest of the venue almost entirely dark, really playing into the romantic feel. 

Stomach aching from too many drinks to count and never ending giggles, you were on cloud nine. This was what you had been missing. What you had been craving since you were a lovesick teenager. 

Josh. 

“Well, Joshua, you have wined and dined me quite well. Is the evening coming to a close or is there something else on our agenda?” He slipped his credit card in the billfold that had been placed on the table by the waiter, not even bothering to peek at the check, eyebrows wiggling suggestively at you. “How’s that competitive streak in you feeling?”

Eyebrows raising at his question, tongue poking into your cheek, you were trying to bite back your growing smirk. “Ready to kick your ass at whatever you throw my way.” Perhaps the liquid luck you had been chugging all evening was making you bolder than normal. Maybe it was just the comfort of being with someone you had known your entire life. Either way, all you wanted to do was continue the night, not nearly ready for it to come to a close just yet.

He read your mind. In the way only Josh could. Knowing what you wanted before you even knew. It’s why he was leaned against the pinball machine as your score continuously climbed, trying to play off that he was irritated with the way you demolished his previous score. He couldn’t be annoyed with you. 

It was physically impossible in Josh’s mind. Honestly, since you had entered his life as a young child, he had never been annoyed with your presence. There was something about you that had him clinging to you. Never wanting to separate, but always terrified to try and take the next step towards something more. Josh liked to pretend he was a confident person. In truth, he wasn’t at all. You all knew this about him, it was one of the traits you adored.

That even as he grew up, morphing into this stage presence that was a force to be reckoned with, he still remained the humble and shy Josh you had known your whole life. Still scared to look in your eyes for longer than absolutely necessary. Shaky hands battling about grabbing your palm into his. Playing every scenario before it happened. 

Safety. 

Yet on nights like this, it was like it always was. Drunk at a local arcade, faces flushed, out of breath as you played every game you could to try and beat the other. Flashbacks to your time in your home town at the rundown arcade that you all frequented because there really wasn’t much else to do around there.

As you all grew older, underage drinking to make the night more fun was a right of passage. Sneaking liquor from anyone's parents' cabinets to make the evening more interesting. Now that you were well past the legal drinking age, things still hadn’t changed. 

You were still standing at the skeeball game, dexterity way off as Josh hustled to throw as many balls as he possibly could to beat you. Even as off as you were, you were still beating him by hundreds. When his eyes skirted over to glimpse at your astronomical score, he scoffed.

Snatching every ball from your hands despite your minimal effort to keep hold of them, he grabbed all of his as well, climbing up the small runway to get better access to the holes, dropping all of the balls into the highest score. 

“Cheater! Fre-freaking cheater!” Josh climbed down as one of the employees yelled across the floor for him to get down from the game, shrugging with an all knowing smirk as the tickets cascaded out from the machine, hands on his hips. “Don’t be je-jealous that you didn’t think of it first.” 

Overtly rolling your eyes, you watched as the tickets continued coming, pouting slightly. “I don’t need to cheat to beat you. I’m pure raw talent, babes.” As you spoke, his gaze never left you, entirely enamored with your aura that naturally radiated when you were full of pure joy. It was like it encompassed you and all around you, touching and grazing those surrounding you. 

His hands mindlessly touched his mala beads, trying to ground him back to reality. Blinking rapidly as your eyes fell to him, contentedness flowed from your head to your toes, instantly relaxing and feeling the rigidity of your nervous system release. 

“Would you-do you want to get out of here?” His eyes had narrowed ever so slightly, noticing the miniscule shift of his pupils widening, hands leaving his pockets and offering you one. Swallowing thickly, you nodded, never having felt so sure of a decision in your life. 

The second you were back at Josh’s house, he wasn’t in a rush. He took his time walking around his home, flicking lights on as he went. You trailed him like a lost dog, not sure where he wanted you or what was really happening. 

When he finally turned around, facing you, a lazy smirk graced his lips. “Alright, gorgeous. Come here,” you instantly traveled to him. Your hands rested on his waist, right above his pants, the warmth from his stomach sweltering against your hands. 

His hands caressed your cheeks, meeting you halfway as his plush lips pushed on yours. It was slow, sensual, deep. His hands moved further up, having your strands of hair flow between his knuckles. Yet, he didn’t tug or pull, barely offering a light massage to your scalp.

Eyes fluttering at the movement, it felt heavenly as his nails scratched along your scalp. Never breaking the kiss, your tongue explored every crevice of his parted mouth. Wanting to commit every inch of him to memory. 

Your hands bunched his shirt, hands making small fists as you did. As your breathing grew shallower, he pulled back much to your dismay. Josh removed his hands from your hair, taking your hand in his and silently leading you towards his room down the hallway.

The candles he had lit when you arrived home were burning, flickering against the darkness that drenched the room. Josh sat on his bed, hooded eyes peering up at your figure that towered over him in the moment. 

It was a silent question, asking if you wanted to continue on with this. Your hands enclosed around his, leading them to the hem of your dress. He took the invitation, removing it from you and gawking at what stood before him entirely nude.

No undergarments were worn tonight, much to the shock of Josh. His mouth was gaping like a fish, eyes blown wide. Wider than his normal astronomical size. His erection straining against the tightness of his pants.

His cold hands found the dip in your waist, tugging you towards him. Pressing gentle, featherlight kisses to your rib cage, dancing dangerously close to the underside of your breast. 

Your head fell back, hands tangling into the lush hair at the nape of his neck, his lips finally reaching where you were on the verge of begging him to get to.

Moistened lips brushed over your hardened nipples, eliciting a strong gasp from you. Desperate for anything he would give you, just wanting to be touched. With your eyes still squeezed shut, his mouth enclosed around your nipple, sucking it in between his teeth.

A choked moan echoed out into the room, fingers tightening around the hair you had in your grasp. Josh’s hand roamed your body, starting at your waist, but quickly trailing further. 

Fingertips brushed against your mound, your hips bucking at the motion. Eyes opening and giving him a pleading look, he quickly dipped his fingers between your soaked lips.

His own eyes fell shut when he felt the arousal that coated your pussy, making a sticky mess of his hand. He didn’t give a single damn, it was the sexiest thing he had ever felt in his life. 

Still suckling at your breast, every so often switching between tits, his fingers made steady work of your clit. Rubbing tight circles on the nub, your hips jerking to meet his movements. 

Your breathy moans were continuously falling from your lips, fingernails digging into the taut muscle of his shoulders. No words were uttered between you two as you reached your first finish of the evening.

Knees nearly giving out beneath you, he rode you threw it before gently leading you to the mattress. You laid flat, instantly letting your legs fall open, displaying yourself for him to admire. 

Admire he did. Awestruck at the gorgeous women, patiently waiting for his next move, whatever he wanted or needed to do. Watching every move he made, he undressed for you. Not making a show of the action, but knowing that you were intently observing him.

As his boxer briefs came down, your lips were slightly parted. You didn’t even care that you were so blatantly staring at him because all you could think about was how desperately you wanted him in you.

Josh nodded at you, his own hand wrapping around his length. “Touch yourself.” You stuck two fingers into your mouth, wetting them before trailing them down your body, setting onto your sensitive clit.

Your free hand kneaded at your breast, pinching your nipple between your fingers. Josh stroked himself, eyes wild with lust as he groaned, watching your fingers sink into your slit. 

“Josh, I ne-need,” you were stumbling over your words, not able to form an actual sentence. He encouraged you to continue, the sounds of his movements amplified. “What do you need, pretty girl? Hmm, what do you need?” 

It was genuine, him asking. Your eyes opened, taking in the godly sight of his naked frame, stroking himself, watching you in this erotic position.

“Fuck me. Please,” you didn’t have a millisecond to prepare because he was on you. Eyes on his cock, tip swollen and glistening with precum, he breached your entrance. Your stiffened body went lax, fully resting back on the mattress as he sank inch by inch. 

When he reached the base, his body spasmed. Feeling like you were choking on air, Josh started his pace, trying to get his bearings. You had no idea how long he had been fucking you, but at some point it came to an end.

No recollection of the finish for either of you, you could feel the remnants of your orgasm in your muscles. As Josh pulled you into his embrace, you fell asleep far too fast, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care that the sheets were near soaking wet. 

You were left shell shocked. The entire experience had rattled you to your core. It was meeting an entirely different person and version of Josh. An intimate sector that was only reserved for an incredibly select few that he deemed worthy enough of meeting. It was a being you would never tire of encountering. You wanted to remain in his embrace for as long as possible. 

Instead, your meet and greet was cut short when his phone rang. Duty calls and as you clambered out of his bed, redressed, and let him tug you into a gentle reminder of what had happened the night before, you trekked home. 

Literally walking on air. That was how you could describe the following days. A changed woman after the memorable first date with Josh. One that you would cherish for the rest of your life. Having him treat you like an absolute goddess, worshiping you like you could alter the course of the universe if you truly wanted to. 

It was empowering.

Daily texts and calls from him riddled your phone, igniting a fire in your belly whenever he would pop up on your screen. Letting you know that he was thinking of you. That you were truly all he could think about. Having hexed him in some way to not let his thoughts alter to anything other than you. It was driving him wild. He needed more. 

You wanted more. Craved more. But he would have to wait just a bit longer. Because Danny was standing in your doorway, capturing any and all breath from your lungs as you peered up at him, taking in the sheer size of the man. He entirely dwarfed the door. 

Intimidating. 

The bowl of grapes in your hand became loose, nearly letting the porcelain fall to the floor. You had no idea how long you two stood there, taking one another in before you snapped to your senses and began scuttering about. 

“Hi-hi! I’m sorry, come in come in. Let me just-” you went to set the bowl down, but turned on your heel and faced the boy, “Do you want some grapes? They’re the cotton candy ones from Trader Joes.” He was fighting a smirk, observing how flustered and nervous you were in his presence. 

Shaking his head, perfect curls moving with him, his eyes never left your figure as it waltzed around the room. Obviously avoiding close contact with him. “No, I’m good. Thank you though.” You had already put the grapes back in the fridge before he could even respond, simply trying to busy yourself. 

After organizing the stack of mail on the counter in front of you, your eyes finally met his again and beamed a nervous smile. “What can I do you for?” It was adorable how jittery you were. Watching as the slight shake in your hands was nearly masked by the continuous movement, but he caught it. 

Leaning on the counter, both of his incredibly large hands holding onto the other forearm, you could smell the coconut of his curling cream, the dizzying musk of his cologne. It had you unbelievably flustered. “I’m taking you out.” 

Only able to blink back at him, a blank expression decorating your face, you didn’t know how to respond. “Is this your way of asking me?” You finally choked out, a small laugh following. 

Nodding and standing back up to his full height, your eyes followed him. “Yes. Friday or Saturday? You get that choice.” He winked at you, clearly teasing, but it had you biting your cheek. Wanting to give a smart ass response, you swallowed it down. 

Speaking through mainly gritted teeth, your eyes met his. “Saturday night works,” he instantly turned and walked back to your front door, leaving it at that. You called out after him, jaw nearly hitting the floor as he opened your front door, halfway out.

“This could’ve been a text!” He leaned back in, not turning to face you, but looked upon you like you were certified crazy. “And miss seeing my girl? Absolutely not. Saturday at nine, I’ll pick you up.” 

My girl. 

The words sat heavy on you for the remainder of the week until the day had arrived. Keeping the facts to yourself about seemingly dating both of them at the same time, you stared at the pile of clothes on your bed. 

You had texted Danny and asked him what the attire of the night was. Honestly, you had been slightly underdressed for Josh’s evening out and you didn’t want a repeat of that. All he had responded with was casual. 

What the hell? It was so vague. Offering no sense of direction whatsoever. You knew Danny’s usual garb shifted from muscle tanks and skinny jeans to looking like he had just stepped out of a 1980’s romcom, sweater and light wash jeans adorned. 

It was a tossup. So, you went with what you knew. Casual, comfortable, what you tend to wear on a daily basis. You hit the nail on the head because when you opened the door for Danny, he stood there with a combination of his attire. 

Dark wash skin tight jeans, a sweater, vintage sneakers, and sunglasses perched atop his head despite the late hour. His hair styled absolutely perfect. A light smudge of eyeliner. A rockstar stood before you ready to take you out on a date. 

Anxious.

“C’mon pretty girl, we have a reservation to make.” He offered his arm to you which you gladly took to steady yourself on jello legs, but you grabbed on to solid muscle. Muscle that had never been there before and you weren’t expecting to be there hidden beneath the bulky contents of his sweater. 

Your widened eyes peered up at him, unable to stop the words before they left your mouth. “Since when are you so-so ripped?” His piercing gaze smoldered through your own. “All I do is work out my arms every single day for hours on end.” 

Forcing yourself to remain cool and like those simple words hadn’t nearly turned you to absolute mush, you knew your next move would set the course for the night. Shrugging, you looked away towards the elevator doors that were bound to open any second. “I liked it better when you were scrawny.” The doors opened as you finished, letting his arm go and stepping into the elevator, looking at him with a disinterested, unimpressed look. 

He shook his head as he followed you in, a shocked laugh falling from his lips as he stood directly next to you, arm brushing your own. “Oh, belly. Same snarky attitude as always, huh?”

Danny was a dirty dirty liar. This place absolutely did not need a reservation. There wasn’t even a host. It was a seat yourself establishment, if you could call it that, which left peanut shells sticking to the bottoms of your shoes as you walked towards a high top table with your date. 

Being the true gentleman he is, he pulled the metal chair out, the screech hardly being heard over the loud music bouncing off the walls. The place was jammed, you were honestly surprised there was even a table open. He handed you the menu which had already been waiting on the table, and pointed at his suggestion. 

“We’re going to get two of those. They’re the best burger you’ll ever have in your life. They make their own potato chips in house or you can get their curly fries-” he spoke so easily, eyeing the singular menu as he spoke, leaning in unbearably close to you, “Oh, Sheryl!” The older waitress rolled her eyes at the source of the yell.

She walked over to the table, slapping down her notepad and squeezing Danny’s hand. “Was wondering when I’d see this troublemaker again. Hi, honey. A pitcher and two phat jack burgers?” Danny confirmed, looking over to you and seeing the smirk forming on your lips as you side eyed him.

When she asked about the side, his eyes didn’t leave yours, eyebrows raising in question, silently asking you what you wanted. The smile continued to grow on your face as you gave a small shrug, hands coming up in silent surrender. Danny turned back to the waitress who you now knew was Sheryl and said one curly fries one chips.

As she left, he leaned back in his chair and gave a bright smile. “That way you can try both.” Your smile couldn’t leave your face as you moved closer to the table and chuckled. “Very considerate of you.”

A comfortable silence fell over you both as you took in the pub he had taken you to. It was very dim, the only lighting really came from the hundreds of Christmas lights that adorned the scaffolding and were stapled to the walls. Peanut shells littered the floor, not allowing any of the actual flooring to be visible. The walls held many posters of every genre of music you could think of, movies from each decade, photos of random strangers who would take the time to paste up their own memory. There were many tables, some high tops, others actual low tables that could seat as few as one to as many as an entourage. An actual bar sat against the middle wall that was packed with people. Music carried through the building. 

Sheryl snapped you back to the moment when she slapped down a large pitcher of beer, two chilled mugs, and a bucket of peanuts. She didn’t utter another word as she turned and went towards another table that called out for her attention. 

“Okay, what do you think?” Danny asked as he poured the honey colored liquid into the glasses, sliding one in your direction before grabbing a handful of peanuts and unshelling them. You followed his motions, trying to eye him as discreetly as you could. “It’s nice.” He rolled his eyes as he took a swig, slamming the mug onto the table.

“You gotta give me more than that! Really, what’s your first impression?” You giggled as you popped a couple peanuts in your mouth, drinking from your ice cold glass and took just a moment to truly look. 

The multicolored lights highlighted his black locks. Beaming since you had entered and taking a table so easily, you knew he frequented here often. His entire vibe was as relaxed as possible. Not feeling the need to do too much. They even knew him by name and his exact order. He almost faded into the background of the restaurant. Like this place was built for him. 

“It’s…you.” Your hands were wrapped around your mug, feeling the chill of the glass burn into your hands. His eyes didn’t part from yours for just a beat too long, cheeks tinting just lightly at your words. Knowing they were a compliment. Watching as his eyes fell down towards the table, his face contorted. 

Matching where his eyes now rested, you watched as his hand reached out and swiped the peanut shells off the table and onto the floor. “I brought you here to my place, now act like you belong for god's sake.” Your mouth fell open at his joking tone, laughter shaking your body at him. “Hey!”

He chugged from his glass, eyes glittering with something you couldn’t quite place. It remained that way the rest of the night. You haven't the faintest idea how much beer you had drunk with Danny, but it was the best beer you had ever had. When Sheryl had come back and placed down the biggest burger you had ever seen in your life, Danny nodded enthusiastically at your reaction.

Between the chortling that left your sides aching from stories shared, feeling like you were literally going to explode from the amount you had eaten, and the light buzz from the beer, it was a fantastic night. All nerves had dissipated the moment things had shifted. To where you felt like you were sitting in the garage with Danny again. Going back to the roots of your friendship. 

Danny.

“You better finish it! C’mon that’s like two more bites max. Finish it, they don’t have to-go boxes.” He was cackling between his words, mouth stuffed with food as he pointed to your plate. Groaning but following his orders, you stuffed the last of the burger into your mouth despite every urge telling you to spit it out. 

When you swallowed, with the help of another mouthful of beer, Danny cheered. His arms shot up, napkin in hand being thrown before they came back down and beat on the table in celebration, whooping and cheering. Collapsing back in your chair, your hands cradled your too full stomach. 

Sheryl came over as you giggled, Danny about to talk again, but halted his sentence as she spoke. “Well, I was going to offer a to-go box, but looks like you were able to get it all down.” She grabbed the now empty plate from in front of you as you shot daggers at your date. 

“You fucking liar!” Not able to keep your serious face, a massive grin broke out as he laughed his ass off. Music to your ears. Having been deprived of it for too long, chershing the sound as it washed over you in waves. Danny left cash on the table, hopping down from his seat, not missing a beat as he took your hand in his and quickly led you out. 

The cool evening air squashed the rising temperature your body had endured from the hot stifled air of the bar. Your eyes drifted shut, taking in a deep breath, still being dragged by the tall boy. Your fingers laced together with his, beginning to walk around the vibrant downtown night scene you had never seen before.

“Where are we?” You finally asked, looking around and trying to get your bearings. He took in a deep breath, a small smile breaking across his face. Prideful of the little piece of a haven he had scouted. “We are in a town a bit over from where we call home. I refuse to share the name because it is my spot and I don’t need you going home and blasting it around to everyone.” 

Tilting your chin down and halting in your spot, your eyes narrowed. “You know that all I have to do is check the weather on my phone and it’ll give me the exact location.” Danny scooted closer to you, bending over, coming nose to nose with you. “Ah, but I know you wouldn’t do that. Not my belly girl.” 

It took every ounce of strength you had to turn away from him, his lips having been millimeters from your own. It would’ve been so easy to just hardly lean forward and capture your own with his. Danny wanted to more than anything, but couldn’t fight off the smile that broke across his face as you quickly turned and continued walking, leaving him as still as a statue.

Turning when you realized he hadn’t moved, your face looked at him expectantly. “Well, come on! Show me around,” you rolled your eyes, a smile hidden on your lips as Danny slowly walked over to you. His arm circled around your waist, tugging you into his side as he continued walking you around the vibrant downtown. 

As the night dwindled down, Danny’s car sat in the twenty minute guest parking spot in front of your building as he walked you back to your home. Both of you tried to keep your clearly tipsy giggles on a lower volume given the incredibly late hour for the decency of your neighbors. When you stood in front of your door, your lazy smile greeted Danny as your neck lightly tipped back to truly keep eye contact. 

The hand that held yours ever so slightly squeezed your warm hand, your free one made the journey from your side to the back of Danny’s neck. Landing on the smooth skin, under the thick locks, you brought him down to meet you for the first time. The second his lips brushed against your own, you felt the air get zapped from your lungs.

A gasp emitted from you as his arms circled around your waist, pulling you towards him as the kiss grew deeper, needy. Back arching into his firm torso, both arms now wrapped around his neck, wanting him as close as possible. When you parted, both breathing heavy, pupils blown out, your hands cradled his face. Pushing the locks from his porcelain skin, features sharper than ever, the tremble in your hands was nonexistent. 

“Do you-do you wanna come in?” It was spoken so softly that it passed from your lips directly into his. Instead of a vocal response, he closed the gap between you both again. The sloppy kiss had you gasping for air as your front door flew open, Danny shoving you against the wall, lips attacking your neck.

Hardly able to catch your breath, you spoke through pants. “Dan-Danny. Ca-car. Your car,” he only hummed, bringing his mouth back to yours and effectively shut you up. “Twenty minute parking,” you mumbled against him. 

Shaking his head, his larger hands threaded through your locks, tugging your head back with a low moan emitting from you. “Let them fucking tow it,” his hands moved to land under your thighs, squeezing the supple flesh, giving you your next move. 

As you hopped, he caught you with ease. Your hands clawed at his sweater, removing it as quickly as you could. He didn’t even try to make it to your room, instead landing you on the couch. Not parting, he leaned down with you, only momentarily breaking to get you both fully undressed.

It was a mess of limbs and skin, teeth biting any flesh they could sink into, not wanting to wait another minute. He practically impaled you on his cock, knocking the wind from you. Holding onto his shoulders, he set a punishing pace.

You were on the verge of screaming into the room, not giving a damn about your neighbors. His thrusts so deep and hard that your couch was shifting with every move he made. In no time at all, your couch hit the wall, thumping into it as he continued on.

His thumb pushed down on your clit, a bead of spit falling from his lips to the nub, causing you to gutturally moan at the sight. The coil in your stomach snapped with no warning, no massive build up, it just happened.

Blinding you, you felt a rush of liquid leave your cunt, Danny almost, almost, stopping at the sight. “Holy fuck you just-,” you couldn’t even begin to form an understanding of what he was trying to say. 

He pulled out of you seconds later, releasing over your bare chest, stroking himself through his finish. Your eyes connected with his, your finger dipping into the seed and lifting it to your mouth. Danny moaned, grabbing you by the back of the neck and smashing his lips to yours in a greedy, possessive meeting. 

Catching your breath, your legs wobbled, entirely unsteady as he led you to your room. Sparing a glance back to the couch, you saw the monstrous wet spot that you left in your wake. 

He had made you squirt. You didn’t even know you could do that. His eyes followed where yours laid and tugged your arm to get your attention back to him. “Think you can do it again?” Determination set on his beautiful face. 

What is the next step in life when your dreams come true? No, really. What the hell are you actually supposed to do? Both of these men who you had fawned over, dreamed over, ached over had displayed themselves to you in ways you couldn’t even imagine. Your heart was bleeding from the amount of emotion it had taken in just a few weeks' span. At insanely different points in your life you had really dreamt of what your world and life would be like if you were involved with them. Now that you actually were, you had no idea what to do. 

Possibilities of extremely varying degrees laid before you with whatever choice you were destined to make. Right now, though, you weren’t having to make that choice. No, right now you were able to enjoy them both and see what they were going to be for you. The split road and its calling decision would come later. Just not now. 

Because right now you were tangled in Josh’s sheets that smelled like patchouli and lavender, his warm hands trailing along the bare skin that writhed beneath him after another night spent together. The calm, content smile that permanently seemed to be stitched to your face around Josh, greeted him as he finally approached you after traveling the expanse of your body. 

“Hello gorgeous,” he mumbled as he connected to your lips, facial hair tickling you as he did. Your hands left the tangled sheets, getting lost in his extremely messy hair, pulling him closer to you as you did. “Mmm, hi,” it was breathless and tired, having just woken up minutes ago. 

His rosy cheeks were full from the large grin on his face. Laying himself on top of you, it was like a weighted blanket encompassing you. Lips landed on your chest, arms, shoulder, neck, jaw, anywhere he could reach. “You’re so beautiful, you know that, belly?” Heat rose at his words, your hands cradling his jaw as his eyes bore into yours. 

“Take me to breakfast,” you murmured as you kissed his cheek. His body shook with laughter, propelling himself up from the bed, nude body on full display as he walked to the restroom. When he emerged fully dressed, hair not even slightly tamed, he watched as you dressed yourself. 

Two arms closed around you from behind, lips chillingly close to your ear as he all but moaned into it. “Or how about I go make a piece of toast, you get back into that bed, and we carry over last night's activities into today. Hmm, how does that sound, pretty mama?” You almost gave in, weighing the option given to you, but you rolled your eyes at the pet name, shrugging his arms off of you.

“Nearly had me there up until the Elvis impersonation.” His hands landed on his hips, staring at you with a puzzled look. One thumb brushed his full bottom lip, entirely too confused at your reaction. “Really? That doesn’t work for you? Typically girls are falling over themselves when I say that.”

Narrowing your eyes to slits, pointing a shoe in his direction, you spoke with a cautionary tone for him. “Watch yourself, pretty boy. Skating on thin ice,” his eyes lit up at your words, a realization dawning on him at your reaction.

Tsking, you watched his demeanor shift, waking something up deep in your lower belly. “Ah, that’s what it is,” his voice had gone down an octave, approaching you, one hand gently cupping your cheek as he peered at you, a slight pout perched on his lips. 

“Pretty girl gets jealous,” when you went to object to such a ridiculous claim, his hand firmed up, tilting your head to the side, effectively shutting you up. His lips attached to your neck, biting an already tender spot from the night before. When you gasped, his tongue pressed against the spot, doing his best to offer a remedy to the wonderful pain. 

His lips crested the shell of your ear as he spoke again, your eyes fluttering shut. “Okay baby, I’m so sorry. Let me show you that you’re my only girl, yeah?” Nodding at his words, you felt his smirk grow. One side tilted up, the cockiest motherfucker you had ever laid eyes upon stood before you. 

Josh’s hands left you, taking a step back and removing his string of mala beads. He raised his eyebrows expectantly at your hands, “Prayer formation.” Confusion etched across your face, but did as he said.

He wrapped the long thread of beads around your hands, trapping them in place. He moved swiftly, taking the easy garments off your body. As you stood bare before him, he nudged you towards the unmade bed.

Gingerly laying down, his hands trailed from your ankles to your thighs, parting your legs for him. He sighed, a near breath of relief at the vision before him. “You’re going to say my gratitude meditation script while I make you cum. The second you mess it up, you start over.” 

Eyes widening at him, he tossed his notebook over to you, page opened to the lines you needed to recite. The twelve lines appeared easy enough, able to be seen if you turned your head fully over to peer at them.

“Begin.” Josh commanded. You started, but stuttered as his tongue flattened on your mound. Pulling back, he slapped your thigh, making you look back at him. “Start over.” 

That was how you spent the remainder of your morning with him. Heaven.  

Guilt is a horrible thing to grapple with. It can consume you, take over every waking and sleep ridden thought you have. Ruining lives, really. It was what guilt did. That was its entire thing. So, why didn’t you feel even an ounce of guilt as another orgasm took over your body, contracting every muscle in your body from head to toe, brought on by another man? 

Danny’s incredibly disrupted curls brushed against the softness of your inner thigh. Another earth shattering finish had you gasping for air. When you finally had the miniscule amount of energy to let your eyes look down and meet his, they were fogged over, hooded as he observed you like his fucking prey. They were dark, so dark. Darker than you had ever seen before. 

Looking at you through his long lashes had a chill running down your spine as he pulled himself up despite wanting to live between your legs for the rest of his life. His calloused hands were rough as they went from massaging the supple flesh along your frame to enclosing around a lock of hair and pulling harshly, forcing you to sit up and meet him. 

“Open,” you immediately did as he said. Jaw falling slack, his fingers pinched the end of your tongue, pulling it out to fully extend from your mouth. His own lips parted, a string of spit departed from his mouth landing soundly on your tongue. A choked moan echoed from your throat as you tasted the mixture of your own release and him cascading down your throat. 

Roughly landing his mouth on yours, he released a groan that rumbled in his chest. “Good girl,” you preened at the words. Your limp body collapsed back onto the mattress, feeling how quickly your eyes drooped. His warmth didn’t join you right away. 

Honestly, you weren’t sure how long he had been gone, teetering on the brink of unconsciousness, but you felt your body get pulled up. A strong, firm body slid behind you, letting you rest fully against his torso. When you felt something warm at your lips, you groaned, trying to get away from it, but he wasn’t having it.

“Uh uh. Drink it,” his words vibrated his chest, pressed against your back. Giving in, you let the mystery liquid trickle into your mouth. A heavy sigh followed as the hot chocolate danced across your taste buds. “I know you’re too tired to eat, so this’ll have to do for now until I can get some food in you, baby.” 

Nodding in agreement, you downed the scalding drink far too quickly. Turning in his arms and forcing him to lay down, you rested your head on his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat grew more distant the more you fell into the grasp of sleep.

As Danny’s arms tightened around you, hands trailing across the naked skin, your thoughts were riddled with how incredibly perfect this was. Everything you had ever thought of couldn’t even begin to compare to the truth of how this was. Exceeding any and all expectations that had ever been set by you.

You just hoped this wouldn’t come crashing down too quickly. 

One thing you loved about Josh’s home was that it truly looked like it belonged in Architectural Digest. The exposed wood that covered the cabinesque style home from inside out, the nature scape that adorned the property line, the perfectly styled interior. It was almost scary to touch anything, but it yelled Josh.

Sitting on his couch that was probably worth what you made in a year, leaning into his side as you giggled about watching another Wes Anderson flick after seeing two already, Josh’s hand covered your eyes. He snickered beside you as he secretly picked the next film to watch. 

“Okay. Put in your guess now. Which one did I pick?” Thinking about the two you had already seen tonight, you thought long and hard, eyelashes fluttering against his palm, positively tickling him. “Final guess going in…Isle of Dogs.” You said it as sure as you could despite knowing the chance was slim. 

He scoffed, pulling his hand away and seeing the opening scenescape for Isle of Dogs. “Cheater! You saw,” you pinched his side, hand shifting under the blanket as you did. He giggled, ruffling your hair, tugging you to lay back down in his embrace. 

Your hand wandered aimlessly under the blanket, cupping his semi-hard cock over his sweats. His body tensed as you lightly moved your hand, wanting to wake him up. “Belly.” It was spoken as a warning. 

Not responding to it, you continued your residual movements. It didn’t take long for him to become achingly hard underneath your palm. Taking it as your invitation, your hand slipped under the band of his pants, meeting the soft skin of him.

Starting slow strokes, you just wanted to feel him in your hand. His head began leaking his arousal, your eyes finally departing the screen to see him struggling to hold his attention to the movie. He met your look and you offered an innocent smile.

You kept that up for just a few minutes more before you decided to stop teasing. Shifting to lay on your stomach, directly between his legs, his dick met your gaze.

Josh could only watch as you welcomed him into the warm, wet embrace of your mouth. Taking him quickly, his tip scraped the back of your throat. He choked on a moan, head tipping back. 

Hands grabbed at your hair, keeping it out of the way of your work. As you bobbed, hands working what your mouth couldn’t fully reach, your other cradled his balls.

They tightened, his muttering moans and pleas coming to a halt as he released in your mouth. His cock twitched in your mouth, swallowing his entire release. Popping off of him when you knew he had been milked for all he was worth, you beamed at him. 

“Bell-belly,” his words were spoken in a singular breath. Trying to catch it after a powerful orgasm, cheeks crimson red, he pulled you back up to reach him. His hungry lips devoured yours, not caring that teeth were hitting teeth, trembling hands trying to keep you as close as possible. 

Shaky intakes of breath, clouded mind, he didn’t care. He had to tell you. Right then and there. “Belly, I love you. Fuck, I’m so in love with you.” When you pulled back to see him, observing the rapid rising and falling of his chest, eyes glossy with pupils blown wide. 

“Wha-what?” Hands rubbing your cheeks and neck, shaking his head slightly, he swallowed thickly before talking again. “I love you. I’ve been in love with you for-for so long. We’re so good together, honey. We work! I need you. I want you to be mine and only mine. You-you’re perfect, belly. I have to have you. I love you.” The entirety of his speech, he sounded like he was on the verge of tears. 

Adams apple bobbing as he tried to contain his emotions. Raw and near the edge of a breakdown, you didn’t know how to respond. It wasn’t time, not yet. Your hands gripped his wrists, hands still holding your head in place, resting his forehead against yours. “Jo-Josh, you-I can-I need more time. Give me just-just a couple days to get every-everything sorted, yeah?” 

Pleading, you were begging him. He could hear it by the wavering tone in your voice. The ball lounged deep in your throat that you were fighting further down. Hands leaving his wrists, your own cupped his cheeks. Thumbs rubbing against the smooth, warm skin. “Pl-please?” Leaning in, you captured his lips. 

At first, they didn’t respond, but as you felt the sheer panic bubbling up, his pressed into your own. “Okay.” It was all he said as he broke apart, lips landing on your forehead. Your eyes squeezed shut, trying to fight the inner turmoil surfacing for the first time since this had all started. 

You left Josh’s house that night. Unsure of what you were supposed to do. When you came to the stoplight that you only needed to turn right to in order to get to your house, you veered off, turning left and continuing straight down the road.

Danny opened his front door, loungewear on, a surprised, but excited reaction greeting you. “I know I didn’t call, but-” he immediately cut you off, arm wrapping securely around your waist and bringing you to him. Moaning into his mouth, both of your hands held his cheeks as he pulled back, resting his forehead against yours.

“Don’t ever apologize for coming to see me. I missed you,” he pecked your lips again, ushering you into his home. All you needed to do was forget the events from earlier this evening. Not ready to deal with the truth of the situation at hand. It wasn’t time. 

You were tipsy, head starting to buzz with a clouded happiness as you danced around Danny’s living room. One of your favorite songs blasted through his speakers. He was resting on his sofa, tender gaze following your every movement as he admired your carefree attitude. Nursing his beer, his eyes darted down to the corner of the coffee table that you were getting too close to. 

“Bab-” as he went to warn you, it proved too late. Your shin caught right on the sharp edge, cutting into the flesh, blood instantly trickling down your leg. “Ow!” You yelped, going to grab the wound, but Danny was faster. 

His hands grabbed your calve, turning your leg to fully face him, his muscle tank discarded and in a bunch, now pressed firmly against the gushing wound. “Alright, come on you clutz,” he sighed with a chuckle, lifting you bridal style into his arms. Another yelp escaped your throat at the sudden movement. Danny walked into the kitchen, sat you on the counter, turned and grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink.

“Keep that held tight to it,” he instructed as he dug through the box. “It looks worse than it feels. Promise,” you spoke out, lifting the shirt away from the cut to observe the damage. He hummed in response, coming back to where you sat atop his counters. Danny’s features somehow seemed to grow sharper as he fell into concentration.

His curls were held back by a loose ponytail tonight, some face framing pieces that you weren’t entirely sure he meant to have out or not drew your attention. Wrapping the coil around your finger you sighed. “So, you’re a rockstar and a nurse? What can’t you do Mr. Wagner?” He chuckled, eyes quickly looking you over before he shrugged. 

“Not much. I do have a favorite thing I like to do, though,” you smiled, feeling the neosporin being spread on the cut. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” He smirked, lightly tapping your chin, kissing the tip of your nose, turning his attention back to his work. “You, baby. All time favorite activity right there.” 

Your head fell back, cackling at the cliche. “God that was so lame!” His shoulders shook as he finished up, placing a large bandaid over the cut. After discarding the trash he turned his attention fully back to you.“That was on you. You walked right into it!” His hands rested on either side of your frame, flat palmed on the counter. 

“Don’t blame that on me! I’m not the one who said the stupid line,” his eyes darkened as he held eye contact with you. His hands moved from the counter to the tops of your thighs. “Mhm. Did it work though?” 

Leaning towards you, nose brushing against yours, stealing the air from your lungs, your eyelashes fluttered. “N-no,” Danny barely nodded, lips ghosting over yours. A whimper escaped you, falling onto his waiting lips. “C’mere.” 

Arms encircling around his neck, you crushed him to you. His hands traveled up your thighs, holding firmly to your waist. It was a blur. Somehow moving from the kitchen to his bedroom. Sitting on his lap, naked sticky bodies meshing as one. Rolling your hips over his pelvis, cock rocking deep inside of you at the movement. 

Danny’s lips met every inch of skin he could. Hands splayed across your back, holding you to him, his hot tongue went across your shoulder to your neck. A slew of whimpers, moans, and panting filled the room, not even positive who they were coming from. 

When your head fell back, he took the opportunity to attack your neck. Trails of sloppy kisses across your throat and collarbones. “Oh-oh fuck. Danny, I’m-” he nodded, forehead resting against your chest, hands going to your hips and helping you pick up speed. 

“I know, baby. Come on, cum for me. All over me, cum for me,” your jaw opened, no noise coming from you as blinding heat pummeled you. As your cunt clenched and soaked him, he released in you with a groan. Both of your bodies tensed before becoming boneless against one another. Using each other as support to remain up. 

Neither of you went to move, just staying this way for a moment longer. Trying to slow your increased pulse down, let your lungs refill with any air you could get, sweat dripping down the center of your spine. You were entirely unsure where you ended and he began. 

Danny refused to let you go. His hands still held you, tight grip slowly releasing as he began rubbing at your tender flesh where his hand prints would be left the next day. Placing kiss after kiss on your lips, your trembling frame came back down. 

Staring into his eyes was basically hearing him scream at you. It was him sharing it all with you. Leaving it out in the open for you to pick up and return. Too much. You closed your eyes, feeling the warmth emanate from him. 

“Hey,” he mumbled, placing a chaste kiss on your cheek, getting your attention back to him. “Let’s go shower, okay?” You nodded, hearing him chuckle as you didn’t move to climb off of him. His leg bounced under you, forcing your eyes open, a pout taking shape on your lips.

Groaning, your body felt weak, no strength remaining. Too tired to even try and move. “Baby, for us to go shower, you gotta get off,” you went even more limp in his arms. A silent protest. His hand swept the hair from your shoulders, placing a kiss on one of them, then the other. Continuing down both of your arms, each finger. It was an offer of motivation. 

It worked. Slinking off of him, you hissed at the sensation of his softened cock slipping from you. You didn’t sleep at Danny’s that night. No, you went home after cleaning up despite the continuous fight from him. As you stood in the steaming shower with him, reality was crashing down. 

Your thoughts riddled with Josh. Of the confession and feelings he had poured out to you just hours earlier. How you ran to Danny, who still couldn’t actually tell you how he felt. Josh, who felt things so deeply and profoundly he had no choice but to share them with you. They would eat him alive if he didn’t. 

Then there was Danny. Who at the beginning had told you there were some feelings there. Feelings he hadn’t ever leaned into, but that he knew were there. How he was finally starting to see you in the light you had wanted from your first meeting. The looks that Josh showered you in every single time he saw you. 

He wasn’t a talky person. You knew that when you stared into his eyes tonight, all of the emotions and feelings he had been tamping down were shouting at you. Letting you know that although he wasn’t saying them, they were there. He just didn’t know how to tell you. Josh did.

Were you imagining those looks? Filling in the gaps of some fantasy you had created to comfort yourself in the possibility of something with him. It was entirely possible. What you did know is that you weren’t imagining them with Josh. You knew that was how he looked at you, spoke to you, shared with you. It was all too much.

In far too deep with these boys in a situation you didn’t even get yourself into. It was something your best friends had done. Did you take it further than you should have? Reaping the rewards of having two incredibly amazing men who wanted you. In one way or another, they wanted you. You weren’t used to it.

That’s why it had been over a week since you had interacted with anyone. Refusing to speak to them, wanting to sort things out on your own. Yet the longer you spent dwelling on it, the more and more upset you became. With both of them for waiting so long to do something about their feelings for you and at yourself. For getting sucked in too deep and not being able to make a decision. A decision that should’ve been easy. 

Why couldn’t you fucking decide? 

It was the twentieth text from Danny that had your blood boiling so much, you stormed over to his house. Wanting to demand that he leave you alone, give you the space you needed to figure this out. Put an end to it. 

His door swung open, eyes fiery and upset as they laid on your figure. Jaw set, he motioned for you to come in. Standing on opposite sides of the room, his hands went up, silently asking you what had happened. 

“Haven’t heard from you all week. Josh hasn’t either,” he sniffed, clearly fighting off the anger that was coursing through him. “What’s going on, belly?” You sighed, nerves overtaking your body, sitting on the very edge of his couch. 

“I-I’m having to-I have to choose,” you bit out. It should’ve been clear to him what was happening, but he wanted you to explain it to him. He nodded, acting like it was incredibly obvious that it was time. “What-why can’t you choose? We’ve both dealt with you seeing both of us. We’ve given you the space to make up your mind. We cannot continue on this way. It’s killing us,” he was speaking for them both. 

You weren’t sure what he had said that set you off, but your eyes narrowed in his direction. Speaking through gritted teeth, your hands balled into fists. “Why can’t I choose?” He remained deadly silent, knowing you were going to explode. “I have been fucking in love with you since I was a child, Danny. Literally from the moment we met. You never even looked at me!”

Voice raising with each word, you were seeing red. “I dreamed of you seeing me like how I so badly wanted. Have you seen the way Josh looks at me?” Going quiet for a beat, you continued before he had the chance to respond, not wanting to hear him talk. “He treats me like I’m his entire fucking world! He’s done that for so long I don’t even know when it started.”

Tears were welling in your eyes, threatening to spill over at the guilt and exasperation coursing through you. “But I wasted so much time on you. Watching you, praying that you would just look at me. Now, I’m in this with both of you and I don’t know what to do. You’re seeing me, but you still can’t fucking tell me how you feel!” You didn’t care how pathetic you sounded, a sob falling from you as you looked at him. You wanted him to know the hurt he had caused you over the years. Whether he had known it was happening or not, you didn’t care. 

“So, do not tell me that I need to pick. Because you won’t like the choice I make.” It was spoken with pure honesty. Danny’s eyes shut, the answer seemingly laying right in front of him. It killed him. He held something in his hand, what you weren’t sure of, but he turned from you, throwing it at the wall. 

“Fuck!” He yelled, hands landing on top of his head. “I’m sorry, belly. I was a stupid kid that just didn’t know what to do. You’re right. I didn’t treat you like you deserved and I can’t change that. I know I fucked up, I know. I just-I care about you. So much. Just ten years too late, huh?”

Your tears still fell, Danny refusing to look you in the eye as he spoke. “I don’t know.” 

You sobbed the entire way home. When you arrived at your front door, there stood a vase filled with your favorite flowers. A large pink bow wrapped around the odd shaped, obviously thrifted vase. Sniffling, you knelt down, picking them up and seeing the hand written card sticking out from the midst of the bundle.

Tears continued their stream down your swollen cheeks, hiccuping on a cry as you read the note. 

Darling girl, 

I know we’ve put you in an incredibly complicated situation, but I hope you know that it’s been worth it. You’re worth it. I’d do it ten times over if it meant I got to know you in this way that I’ve only dreamed of. I’m here when you’re ready with whatever you decide. I love you.

Forever yours,

Joshua

The note was now stained as your tears poured onto the card. The shame overtaking your body as it slammed into you how much this boy truly loved you. Adored you. Admired you. He was able to show you in ways that you weren’t sure you could ever match. 

You didn’t deserve it. He lied in his note. If there was anyone who positively did not deserve the attention and intense feelings of these two immaculate men, it was you. Playing them both, dancing between sides, too many ties pulling you back. 

As you set the flowers on your kitchen counter, you saw the decorated envelope sitting on your entryway table. Your brows furrowed, wondering when the hell that had gotten there. It was sticking out of your bag. Shaky hands grabbed it, seeing a poorly scribbled sticky note on the front. 

YOU NEEDED A REMINDER OF WHY I’M IN THE FIGHT

Daniel Robert Wagner,

Where can I even begin? You have held my heart in your grasp in ways you will never understand. It all stems from that June summer day. Sam brought you into the group and it was like you had stolen all the air from lungs, becoming the air that I needed to breathe everyday. 

I’ve seen you shape and transform into an amazing person, still remaining true to your roots despite the ever growing stardom that is falling into your lap. I can’t wait to see what wondrous things you’re going to do. I hope I’m a part of the journey. I hope you’ll let me tag along.

Every time my eyes fall to you, it’s like I’m seeing you again for the very first time. I don’t expect that to change as we grow up. I live off the chance that one day, maybe you’ll see me like that, too. But in the meantime I will always be here, your personal cheerleader, on the sidelines as your number one fan.

I'll always be your fan. I’ve loved you since I’ve known you, holding onto faith that someday you’ll love me back. 

Forever and always yours,

Belly

You jumped up from your seat on the couch and ran into your room. Throwing open the closet door, you rooted through your belongings, tossing out items that were in your way until you saw it. 

There, tucked away in the back corner of the small closet, hidden behind a rack of shoes, sat another envelope. Another one you had entirely forgotten about. Your breath held tight in your throat, unsure of what to do with the baited air. Snatching it from its spot, the decorated paper stared back at you.

You never sealed the back, flipping it up and pulling out the pristine paper. It still smelled of the vanilla scent you had sprayed on it. Your signature scent in high school that had you cringing at the memory. Josh had complimented it on more than one occasion and you had worn it every day after that. 

Pounding on the front door, a summer storm raged outside. It poured like only a midwest storm could. Where the skies had been clear for minutes leading up to the dark clouds rolling in, torrential rain drenched anything in sight. You included. 

When his door opened, not expecting a visitor, your jaw was set, not wanting to play any games. Ready to end it. “You need to get inside!” He yelled over the thunder that cracked overhead. Without a second of hesitation, your sopping wet frame stepped inside. The familiar scent washing over you.

He disappeared, coming back moments later with towels. Nearly refusing to look in your eyes, he handed them off to you, turning on his heel and taking a stance just a few paces back. His intution told him he knew where this was going. 

“Tell me when.” You gritted out. He knew what you were asking, demanding. Having to lay it all out at that moment. Stumbling over his words, you spoke again. “Tell me why you want me.” His eyes snapped up to yours, glossy irises meeting you. 

His chin trembled as his lips parted to break the utter silence you waited in. Thunder still echoing outside, lightning igniting the space. “It’s you. You’ve been there. For everything, especially when others weren’t. I knew that all I had to do was pick up a phone and you-you’d be there in a heartbeat. You want to know when?”

An intake of breath as he grew more and more passionate, seeing as the tears freefall down your face, chin still up as he spoke. “It was when you were in my goddamn garage. You would come before the band just to see me.” The last word was uttered in disbelief. His own tears threaten to start falling. 

“You didn’t see it because I didn’t want you to. I was scared. But fuck, belly, it’s you. It’s always been you.” Your hand raised from your side, extending the envelope towards him. Letting him have the insight that you swore no one ever would.

Gingerly removing it from your grasp, he pulled the paper from the envelope and sat on his sofa. You stood rooted to your spot, watching his face to see the display of emotions he was bound to reveal. 

Danny,

This isn’t a formal letter. Not like the others I’ve written. Where I’ve put my soul's bearings onto parchment and sealed them away, for no other prying eyes to ever see again. I had to get this down. 

You looked at me today. 

Sitting in your garage, you gave me an impromptu drumming lesson. I only caught it briefly, in a passing moment. When my head had turned when you weren’t expecting it and caught your eyes watching me. In a way that was different from all the others. 

I didn’t realize it until I got home tonight, having been kicked out of the garage for super secret band practice (which is totally stupid by the way), but you did. I saw it. You looked at me. Thank you. For seeing me. 

People call me dumb, that I’m just a child who doesn’t understand what love is and what it can entail. But they're wrong. Because I know that it can be a spoken word or just a look shared in secret, but it doesn’t matter because it’s love. It’s in the way you look at me when you teach me how to play drums. 

It’s you, Danny. You’ll forever own a piece of my heart. No matter what. I love you. 

Belly

His arms sagged, nearly dropping the paper to the floor, staring at you in utter disbelief. “You don’t deserve me,” you whispered out, feeling everything crash to the surface at once. Danny stood, approaching you, but still keeping a hair of distance. 

Shaking his head, his red rimmed eyes bore into yours. “No, I don’t.” He was slowly inclining his head to yours, wanting to see if the message you were putting out was what he was reading. Not wanting to believe that this was actually happening. That the choice you had made was really him. The love you had harbored for him was true, not a dream he was chasing. That he would finally be ready to return it. After everything, you chose him.

“Take me to bed before you fuck it up.” 

[blue-aconite]

There Will Be Blood - A Top Gun Maverick Mafia!AU

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x OC, Jake Seresin x OC

Summary: Ava Castello always knew she was going to end up marrying Bradley Bradshaw. She knew it from the moment she overheard her parents fighting in the kitchen at 3am when she was 10 years old. After that it had been set in stone and honestly, it wasn’t that bad. 

Bradley was easy on the eyes and despite the ruthless name he’d made from himself as Nick’s heir, he was always kind and polite whenever he and Ava were in the same shared space. She could think of cruller men to be betrothed to. 

She knew that their marriage would be a way for her family to get out of the debt the owed the Bradshaw family and she was fine with paying the price. She’d be safe and looked after as Bradley’s wife.

But after a whirlwind of a night, Ava ends up at the Seresin estate, the last place she should be at. The shared hatred between the Bradshaw’s and Serein’s is no secret and their constant fight for control over the city has taken many lives and years. 

After Jake saves her life that night, Ava knows she owes him a debt. And that debt might come with too high a price.

The Girl in the Creek - A Top Gun Maverick AU

Pairing: Jake Seresin x ?

Summary: Sheriff Manfred Johnson gets the call at 7am on a Sunday morning. A jogger has found a body in the woods, out by the creek. So much for his quiet morning.

It's no secret that the creek is a popular hangout for the town's teenagers. After interviewing several witnesses, who aren't much help, the sheriff department rules the incident as accidental drowning. To placate the distraught family, the creek is closed to the public to avoid further accidents.

The newspapers name the case "The Girl in the Creek" and it sticks.

Everyone says that his sister drowned, that she was drunk and fell into the creek and the people around her were too drunk to help. Everyone says it was an accident.

But Jake knows something else happened that night. He just knows it.

25 years after his sister's death, Jake decides to find out what really happened that night. He's a detective now, he's got more solved cases on the force than anyone else.

With the help of friends and family, Jake is determined to find out the truth. There's so many unanswered questions.  And the most intriguing one of all, what really happened to the girl in the creek?

In The Deep - A Top Gun Maverick Mermaid!AU

Pairing: Jake Seresin x reader

Summary: Everyone knew the stories. During the summers, it was all your town thrived on. The local legends brought a swarm of tourists each season, all of them searching for what you believed to be absolute bullshit. 

Vessels overturned in the middle of a calm day, sailors abandoning post and jumping into the water for unexplainable reasons. A faint song in the evening breeze, heard by only those meant to. Beautiful yet terrifying creatures roaming the deepest parts of the ocean. Sharp fangs and enchanting eyes, shimmering tails and a deadly song. 

Those were the stories your grandfather and father had fed you your entire life. But growing up in a coastal town with parents who all but worked on a boat all day long, you know better. You’ve never even seen anything remotely close to a resemblance of the creature, so you don’t understand how the legends fascinate anyone.

“Don’t stare at your reflection for too long, ma cherie. Or the creatures might lure you into the water, never to be seen again.” That was your grandfather’s warning each time you went out on the ocean. You’ve always scoffed and ignored it but this time it feels different. This time, his warning stays with you as you watch the clouds roll in and the waves grow bolder. What if there’s really something down there? And if there is, what is it?

Sharpest Blade - A Top Gun Maverick Hunger Games!AU

Pairing: Jake Seresin x reader

Summary: After winning the 79th Hunger Games, your life changed completely. The Capitol loved you. The people loved you. You’re the first tribute in years from District 1 that didn’t volunteer to enter the games. 

With the 80th games looming on the horizon, President Simpson decides that the tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors from each district. 

Thrown into a war with deadly consequences, you’re not sure who to trust. You’re paired up with victors deemed as the best of the best, forming an unlikely alliance. 

While on the outside of the arena, an uprising is brewing, your mentor doing whatever he can to make sure you make it back home. To him.

Swords and Smoke - A Top Gun Maverick Royal AU

Pairing: Jake Seresin x OC

Summary: King Nicholas II and his wife Queen Carol were blessed with not one but two strong and healthy boys born within the year from each other.

Bradley came first, a true winter child, born to follow in his father's footsteps and ascend the throne when the time was right. A true heir to his father's kingdom.

Then there was Jacob, who was happy to be second in line. None of the heavy responsibilities on his shoulder, happy to be an advisor to his older brother. He knew he one day would have to shoulder being the right hand man during his brother's rule but it never bothered him.

When their parents arrange for Bradley to wed the Princess of one of their allied kingdoms, Bradley is devastated. While he knows his duty, he's deeply in love with one of his mother's handmaidens, Natasha.

Jacob decides to help his brother out, and offers himself to take Bradley's place. He's not the heir, but being the second born of the most powerful king in the South is quite the feat. Surely it would be enough.

Jake soon realises he’s thrown into more than just an arranged marriage, suddenly caught in a deadly spiral with an outcome no one is ready for.