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Chateau Lobby #4 - S. Reid x Reader
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Whilst trying to navigate romantic relationships after prison, Spencer finds himself in love and caught in an all-too-serious non-relationship with reader. Wanting to break this streak, he asks to spend Valentine's Day properly with a real date. Afterward, they find themselves desperate with trying to express their love for each other.
pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader genre: Smut (18+ pls pls), fluff, and maybe a bit of angst at the start tags: switch!Spencer, blowjob, fingering, a bit of munch!Spencer, pinv sex, age gap (not explicit, but I was foaming at the mouth thinking about it while writing), praise, riding, creampie, lots of teasing and love… all that jazz. wc: 6.9k ;-) a/n: Happy Valentine's Day! I had to name this one after essentially the best love song ever. I kiss all of you!
Work is grueling as usual, couples flooded the diner you work at for their pre- Valentine’s Day festivities with flowers in hand and shit eating grins plastered to stay.
Yet, you’re off soon and you can taste your freedom just like the stale coffee you’ve been throwing back all day as the bell to the front door jingles with more fervor than usual,
“I want to take you out. Properly. Friday. It’ll be a good, proper, date. Yeah.”
You blink in bewilderment, apron tied around your waist as Spencer proposes your first actual date at the kitschy restaurant you work at.
After Spencer got out of prison, his perceptions around a genuine connection in a relationship seemed to be as distant a reality as the person who he was before prison. Upon meeting you, a small radiant glow around you at all times as you poured him his coffee during his lunch breaks beckoned him into this altercation he’s in now with you.
The dull incessant nagging on his shoulder at all times whispering his new inadequacies in relationships has steered him into a solitude state he has never experienced before. You couldn’t possibly stoop so low to fall for an ex-convict? Would he even call himself that? Would you?
Most importantly, he had no idea how to steer a relationship before this complete 180 in his life, and now he’s even more lost to the tenderness he’s craving so deeply it hurts to even give himself a taste of optimism within the relationship he’s developed with you.
Spencer has somehow held himself back from you in all these months in such a critical way that it has resulted in a bond which the concept of he’s priorly abhorred. You only have sex.
Well, that’s kind of impossible for him. Only sex. But every time he’s seen you, been with you alone, it has led to sweat mingling and his dry whining. You two can’t help but to talk about your lives, your passions, can’t help but give each other sickening support and kindness that makes him nervously chew the skin of his thumbnail.
Despite how much he thinks about something genuine between you two, in reality, he just gets scared. Simply put. He has seen and been through unimaginable horrors, it scares him to bare that to another person, to someone who brings aid to him. Pushing you away in any sort is not something he can handle, so instead he’s managed to come up with a only slightly agonizing set up for the both of you.
It’s better than confessing completely and inevitably driving you away with his damages.
Except, this clearly hasn’t worked out. It’s February, he’s been seeing you every weekend for months and Spencer cannot bear the thought of taking all of your time like this and you getting nothing on Valentine’s Day. It sickens him, it strikes him one night. If you told him that some other guy you were seeing had put you in the exact situation he’s put you in, and you’re not even receiving flowers and an all expenses paid dinner on Valentine’s Day, he’d personally show up to his apartment and kill him.
So he’s finally stepped up.
A sweep of bravery flooded his senses on his lunch break, and he was up on his feet walking to where he knows you are at this time without even thinking.
Your manager, however, was not as excited about this distracting public confession, and grumbled out a prompt for you to leave early before causing a further hindrance, and now you two are sitting next to each other on the curb outside.
Spencer is staring holes into the side of your smiling face as you pick a loose string from your jeans.
“I can’t believe you asked me out at work,” you giggle and shift your gaze at him for a split second “didn’t really know if you even liked me.”
“What? Of course I like you, you’re the only person I spend time with.”
“Hm. Yeah, it’s just confusing sometimes. I really like you, but usually when guys like you back they want to take you out, ha.”
You end your sentence with a dry laugh that explains to Spencer how you’ve been feeling throughout the time you’ve been sleeping together.
“I’m so sorry. I just- I thought it would be easier on you. Than for you to actually be with me. Why didn’t you mention anything?”
You sniff, like knowing that what you’re about to say is probably a bit too mean to say to someone who just asked you to be his valentine.
“Why should it be on me to say something, you don’t tell me anything. Nothing about how you feel about me, apparently. I never said anything because I was going to put up with whatever until you dropped me because I care about seeing you too much.”
That makes Spencer shift his gaze to his own knees in front of him.
“Yeah, I’m unfair. I guess I just assumed that because you’re more confrontational than I am.”
“Am I though?”
Spencer sighs, with how many times you’ve dogged on him for certain things he’s said or done, yes. But you’ve never really mentioned how the relationship was impacting you, it’s easier for you to bring up menial topics to him, he guesses.
“No, you’re not.” He finalizes.
You huff out a laugh and place a kiss on his blazer-clad shoulder– a peace offering. Grabbing his arm, you pull his jacket sleeve up to check the time.
“I’m gonna drive home before you have to go back to work. I’m sorry I was mean. I’m really excited to go on a date with you friday. I’ve never had a Valentine’s Day date.”
Standing up, you brush off your concrete imprinted palms on the back of your jeans before tilting up Spencer’s chin (he’s remains utterly still sitting on the curb) to meet your gaze. He looks away slightly to your shoes and rests his forehead against your stomach, a wordless apology as he nods against you.
Again, you place your palms to his cheeks to look at you, he’s always had a problem with maintaining eye contact for long periods of time.
“And…you mr. gentleman, are you excited to wine and dine me?”
Spencer’s kicked-puppy look dissipates as his love-struck smile takes its place.
“Yes. I actually think it’s going to be the best night I’ve had since… maybe since I’ve met you.”
Smiling, you’re satisfied.
“That’s right. Okay, Spencer. Thank you. I’ll see you Friday.”
You try to suppress your grin as you spin away on your heels, but Spencer catches it before you turn and it heats his frigid body from sitting outside for so long. How has he been so dumb all this time? Somehow it being easy with you, painfully easy to be treated tenderly by you, since the beginning has slipped his mind. Of course, an actual relationship with you would come as naturally as it has since you started.
He’s never been so sure of it.
✵
Spencers looking at himself in the bathroom mirror as the bouquet he picked up for you and the personally annotated book he’s giving you sit on his kitchen table, awaiting his arrival to put their still existence into motion.
He knows you well, he’s intently stored away every single piece of information you have given him. He knows everything you’ve been through, the best day of your life, what turns you on so much you get embarrassed… so on and so forth. Yet, he’s staring at his pre-date reflection right now seeing how his face has drained of all color.
The restaurant he picked has been mentioned by Rossi a few times as a favorite. Fancy, Italian, expensive, and Spencer was able to get a reservation by the skin of his teeth for Valentine’s Day because he (regrettably) had to pull a “I know David Rossi, yeah..” on the phone a few days ago.
So he should be rather prepared, he knows where you’re going, he’s been on a date before, sure. Yet…
Spencer flicks off the light in his bathroom to force himself away from the mirror, agonizing over his face isn’t productive in the least. You already know what he looks like.
He drives in complete silence to your apartment, he’s already anxious as ever and he has to be behind the wheel, which is not his forte. But the thought of seeing you in the passenger seat glowing after a fancy meal appeals to him so greatly his stomach swirls.
Spencer’s early, of course. He couldn’t not be. He was probably ready for the date 3 hours before the time he said he would pick you up at. With this day off he’s been able to sit and pace and freak out for hours. Great.
When he knocks with the fist holding the book for you he hears frantic scrambling for thirty seconds or so before you swing the door open–
“Spencer!” You gasp belatedly when you see the flowers, “oh my god! Come in, I need to put my shoes on and I’m good to go.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day, so pretty…” Spencer mumbles against the top of your head when you pull him into a greeting hug.
“Mmm. Happy Valentine’s Day. You smell good.”
You can’t help yourself, wrapping your arms around Spencer’s neck and pulling him into a kiss immediately. All too easy, you’re used to your mouths working furiously together. It's like another language for you.
But Spencer is pulling away slightly, speaking against your lips, “I'm trying to take you on a date first.”
Groaning lightly you start kissing him again, resulting in his hands placed on your waist slowly peeling you off him. Spencer's hands and lips have a mind of their own though, his hands are firmly pushing you off as his lips chase yours as you separate.
Laughing, you tilt your head to one side to inspect him, “So after the date you’ll get me home by 8:00 and give me a chaste kiss goodnight?”
Spencer chuckles and shakes his head at your toying.
“If you’ll let me, I’ll fuck you after the date. But, sure I’ll also give you a chaste goodnight kiss, though it’s 7:30 so you can rule out being home by 8:00. Sorry.” He pulls in his lips and raises his eyebrows as if to say, that’s that.
“If I’ll let you?”
“Right.”
“Mmkay.”
“And… if you like it I can do that again and again,” he chuckles and rubs his forehead with his palm, “and then I’ll take you on a second date.”
You avert your eyes to hide the tell tale signs of you flustered, hating whenever he gets the upper hand in flirting because you can not take it as well as Spencer can when you dish it out.
“Whatever-” whipping your head around trying to locate your shoes Spencer giggles under his breath, your presence has totally eased his nerves. He watches you pick up your heeled boots and he kneels slowly in front of you to place them on your feet.
“You’re sweet,” at your words Spencer smiles to himself and zips up the sides of your boots. “I’m so excited for the rest of the night if this is gonna be my treatment.”
“What? Princess treatment? You should be excited, I’m going to be cutting your food and feeding it to you.”
“Ooh. Waving me with a big leaf and feeding me grapes?”
“Something like that. Yeah.” He smiles and stands up, grasping your hands to help you up. “Very pretty. You look beautiful.”
“You look beautiful too,” you poke his side, “I love this maroon tie. I wish you would let me kiss you.”
Spencer sighs at your dramatics and cups your face for a soft kiss. You sigh into it and he kisses your neck once in finality.
“Better?”
Smiling bashfully, you nod.
✵
The looks of the restaurant struck you immediately, and there is a nervous prickling at your spine that happens when you’re in fancier places than you think you deserve– a feeling of being a persona non grata.
To hide your insecurity, you grasp Spencer’s hand as he tells the hostess the reservation name and whistle lowly below your breath at the long draping lace curtains around the room and the barely-there candlelight illuminating the entirety of the restaurant.
Sitting down, you immediately start the date with a joke that falls flat, “So, do you take all your ladies here on the first date?”
Either Spencer thought the joke was distasteful or he didn’t get it, either way he furrowed his brows and shifted his eyes to the side for a moment like he’s looking around for a translation from a bystander.
“No?”
“I’m just- yeah, I’m kidding. Sorry. I’m nervous.”
“I was really nervous before getting you tonight, my hair… I don’t know.”
“Ha, seriously?” Unbelievable you think, his hair is slightly wind ruffled and his curls look ringlet-y, you never could wrap your head around the tales of the plain mean teasing over his looks he’s lived through. “You’re extremely handsome, I tell you that.”
“You do. I wanted to impress you.”
“You do.”
The whole dinner fills your stomach with butterflies that mixes extraordinarily well with whatever red wine Spencer ordered for the two of you. It has you leaning forward when you laugh, has you running your foot up and down the inside of his calf, causing his voice to spike up two octaves whenever you trail up slowly.
Spencer halts your movements quickly though, grabbing lightly at your ankle to stop its ministrations, making you hum around your fork and him roll his eyes light heartedly.
The night was going very well once your romantic jitters melted away into a comfortability you felt you could only possess when around Spencer, something nobody else has given you before.
It was utterly ridiculous, feeling so lovey dovey, you can see how the holiday has some emotional merit to it and isn’t just a capitalist money grab to drain the pockets of couples and make single women feel unworthy. Though maybe you’re just feeling that because you’re not on the victims end of the money grab, regardless…
On the other side of the booth, Spencer has been spiralling into a clusterfuck of thoughts around how much more deeply invested he is in you than he thought. You’re here though, you didn’t turn down his proposal and you kept mentioning how excited you are.
Still, every exhale out of his lungs is a shudder in fear of a looming rejection of an inquisition he’s not even sure he’s going to ask, or if it’s already set in place. Are you dating?
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Um, ahh, um, are we dating?’
What an idiot!
You burst out laughing. Jesus, he must’ve been sick mulling over the aftermath of the date going back to your former dynamic of who even knows what. You couldn’t possibly live with the idea either, but are probably more keen on living in the moment than Spencer.
“You wanna date me? Be my boyfriend?” Your laughter is trailing off, but you have a smile as you say it from giddiness rather than mocking.
A gust of air then, “More than anything.”
The chilly air outside that was previously cooling both of your anxieties upon entering the restaurant meets the same warm cheeks for an opposing reason now. Hand in hand, you walk with full bellies back to Spencer’s car.
Filled with the first secure sense of trust and vulnerability in your life, hand in hand you swing your arms together like a lovesick teenager.
All hesitation around what you could do or say to drive Spencer away flies out into the abrasive February air and off with the wind, so you ask,
“When, if you know, did you first realize that you.. like-liked me?”
“Like-like huh? Haven’t heard that one in a while.” Spencer opens the passenger side door for you and guides you in with a palm on your lower back. He watches you buckle yourself in and leans his arms against the top of the car, looking down at where you’re seated he contemplates his answer seriously.
“I knew I like-liked you once I first saw you brushing your teeth in my bathroom the first night you stayed over. Hm. Yeah, I was watching from the doorway in awe, and seeing you do something so… banal, and it tearing me open. I wanted to see it every night.” He shuts the door and walks to his side as you sit staring out the window where he once was.
Spencer turns his car key, putting on your seat warmer before his own, and rubs your cheek with his thumb. “I really enjoyed myself tonight.”
“I first knew I loved you when you picked me up from work when it was raining. I’m not even sure what, but seeing your wet hair and maybe that getting your suit wet didn’t matter at all to you… I just felt so… I went home and stared at my hands all wet for like an hour. Then I woke up the next day with a cold, ha. I’m… so, yeah.”
You know what you said, you’re not shocked it came out and you didn’t want to really avoid it anymore with frivolous watered-down terms.
Spencer laughs and places his forehead against the wheel at a stoplight. “You’re perfect. I can’t believe it, I’m so lucky and you’re so perfect and I realized I love you now in the same way I realized I did when you were in my bathroom. It feels the same.”
✵
Now you’re back at Spencer’s apartment. Head tilted up and pressed against his front door as he’s fumbling with taking off your coat while simultaneously kissing away your lipstick, it rubbing on his chin in a smudged crimson streak.
Your thumbs are looped through the belt hoops in his trousers as you’re pulling his hips against your own.
Spencer always has a way of kissing you that feels all consuming, and you think you cannot possibly kiss anyone else in your life without implementing everything you’ve learned about kissing Spencer. Every kiss in your future would be executed to roll Spencer Reid’s eyes back, you can’t possibly kiss anyone ever again.
Sucking on your top lip, he flings your coat to the ground and wraps his greedy arms around your waist as he pulls you impossibly closer to him.
It’s almost a grounding exercise within itself to make out with Spencer, you can’t possibly hear, feel, see or taste anything other than him when he’s this way. The universe exists solely between your lips and the way your overactive brains become a fuzzy-soft blend of peace when you’re passing your tongues between mouths is placating.
Still puppeteering Spencer through his belt hoops, you move him towards his worn leather couch you’ve associated his scent with. Spencer is sat with his legs spread open in a lazy manspread as you stand and look down at him.
“Should I sit?” You poke teasingly, knowing by the dick print shining through his trousers that he could beg for it pretty easily. Spencer nods slowly, pulling his hands from his sides to grab onto your hips to pull you down.
You stop him though, arm placed firmly on his shoulder, halting yourself from falling onto him. You would like to hear how badly he wants it.
“Woah, tiger. I think I asked you something, no?” you’re laughing plainly at the grovelling face he makes that you know he doesn’t realize he’s making. Ever the overreaction.
“Yes. You should sit.” He grumbles.
“Why?”
“Because I know how much you like to feel yourself against me when you’re needy like this, and…I want to do everything for you. Because if I don’t have you against me soon I’m going to fall apart.”
Sounds good enough.
Humming happily you straddle Spencer’s lap and reattach your lips onto his, welcoming the inevitable swollen look with no complaint. Without hesitation, you wiggle your hips contentedly against his crotch. Spencer's sharp inhale of pleasure never gets old.
Cupping your jaw into his warm hands he whispers against your lips, “This a good enough reason, or should I give you one more?”
Gasping lightly against the friction you’re creating you respond, “Sounds like you want to give me another reason anyway.”
“I can always feel the way you tighten your legs around my hips. It happens almost instantly every time… like you have to brace yourself to feel me against you. I can always tell how badly you want it.”
He’s mumbling against your neck as he says it, partly because he can feel your pulse race against his lips and partly to hide how red he gets when he feels brave enough to talk this dirty to you.
Once he starts sucking a mark onto the sensitive part of your neck, every nerve in your body is on high alert to each move he makes and you need to part, if only briefly, to regain your composure, you’re all too frazzled, a live wire.
“Spence, can I suck you off?”
The pained half-groan half-laugh Spencer lets out is exactly what you expected to hear as you crawl down on the floor between his legs, rubbing his thighs up and down with open palms.
“Y-yeah. Um. Why should you, I mean, why should I let you?”
He’s failing miserably at trying to make a call back to your prior teasing, too impacted by the visual of you between his thighs to make a coherent, taunting remark.
“Because I’m supposed to be getting the princess treatment.” You unzip his pants slowly while looking into his half-lidded eyes.
Your heart always flutters at this part. Before you find your usual rhythm you always assume that you’re going to forget everything you’ve learned about sucking dick and ruin the atmosphere, the pressure of caring is almost always crushing.
Still, you find yourself eagerly pulling his dick out of his underwear, and shuffling towards him more till your arms are overtop his upper thighs and the top of your head is brushing his lower stomach, which curls inward when you place kisses up his length.
“Woah-” Spencer whispers out as you continue to kiss him lightly. Instead of crudely grabbing your hair or face, his hands find themselves behind his head as he lengthens his body out like a cat sunbathing.
Running the tip of your tongue across his frenulum, Spencer twists his hips to the side, trying to run away from the pleasure and as a result his cock wipes against your cheek. You grab the base now, keeping it steady so it’s not like you’re working on a moving canvas and take the tip into your mouth.
You place your tongue out, covering your bottom teeth enough so you’re comforted in knowing you’re not going to scrape him, and suck lightly while moving your tongue that's against the bottom of his tip in circles.
“That’s! That’s enough, okay. Jesus.” Spencer says a bit too loud and jolts your system, which was just falling into a methodological pace.
Pulling back, you lick your lips and pull them into your mouth, tasting him even when he’s not in your mouth anymore and look at him expectedly.
“S-sorry. I didn’t mean that. I was going to cum. You can keep going… only if you want.” He tries to save his little oversensitive outburst from mere seconds ago.
Wordless, you move back to what you were doing. You want to listen to him a bit though, as a treat, so you take more of him into your mouth instead of focusing all of your energy on the most sensitive part of him. Spencer hums in content and his head falls back against the couch.
A small trickle of your spit is slipping out and running down his cock, you always feel so embarrassed when it gets messy, you don’t know why, you don’t feel awkward at all when Spencer is going down on you so enthusiastically that you can feel his saliva running down your inner legs.
Now you’re thinking about how good it feels when he’s going down on you. You whine softly around him and put a hand that was resting on his thigh to rub over your tights and underwear from where you reach under your dress.
Spencer was already close earlier, watching you try to touch yourself as you give him head is simply too much again.
“Angel, d-done, I’m…okay-”
You pull off of him with a pop and the trail of saliva connecting your bottom lip to his dick stretches and breaks as you talk.
“Can we go to your bedroom please?” it's hoarse and rough but you can’t bring yourself to care.
“Come ‘ere.” Spencer stretches out his hands to you so he can pull you up from his carpet. Tucking himself back into his underwear for some semblance of modesty, you two walk the short trip to his bedroom as you hold onto his arm.
Like it's your own, you jump and land on your back onto his comforter which all but swallows you whole as you relax against it, excitement thrumming through your veins as if your cells are chanting “my turn, my turn!”
Spencer lithely crawls on top of you, sitting on his knees as his thighs cage yours in.
“You looked so pretty tonight, I’m almost mourning having to take all this off.”
“Almost, though.”
“Yeah, I know I’ll probably cheer up pretty quickly when I do, huh?”
You laugh and cover your face with your hands, it’s so stupid but he always makes you feel like you're melting all over when he’s being corny.
Soon enough, Spencer is peeling your tights down with your underwear, and you’re squirming along with him while trying to help and shimmy out of your dress and bra. For a small second, Spencer pulls away to take off his blazer and roll up the sleeves of his dress shirt.
Leaning down on one forearm by your head, he begins kissing you again. Your mouths work together as his other hand trails his fingertips incredibly light against your inner thigh. Biting down softly on his bottom lip, a plea. Spencer uses his middle and ring finger to gather your wetness up to your clit.
The circles he’s rubbing against you leave you moaning and whining against his open mouth as he kisses you through it, maybe throwing in a few “aw’s” or hums in approval as he continues to work his fingers against you.
You both know exactly where this is leading to, and he always has to thoroughly prep you so that you can painlessly take all of him. Those same fingers move against your opening now, Spencer places the middle finger against you and is met with little resistence, so he begins fucking you slowly with it.
Back arching up so your chests brush against each other, Spencer take’s your opportunity of bliss to slip in another finger, scissoring you open as wet sounds emanate between your thighs.
With two of his fingers in you now, his efforts to kiss your lips have become harder than ever as you become more and more nonverbal and increasingly whiny.
“Where’d all your teasing go? What happened to calling the shots?” Murmured at your chin as your jaw opens with a whimper. You shake your head, you can’t entertain this, he’s kicking you while you’re down and it’s not right!
Looking down, Spencer see’s your toes curling in and slowly pulls his fingers out of you, a loud suction-y noise following his absence. You blink your eyes open blearily, trying to refocus yourself and reorient yourself into this living plane.
Spencer has stealthily moved down to where your legs are spread open and he’s looking at you exposed with so much adoration in his eyes that even though you’re blinking away tears, you can see it clearly. He’s in love with you.
“Oh, please.” You gasp out, trying to cut to the chase before Spencer asks if he can eat you out. He smiles, and asks anyway to frustrate you good naturedly.
“Do you want me to return the favor, my valentine?” he swoons.
“Yeah, uhhuh, please.”
“I saw you touching yourself when you were using your mouth on me earlier,” he moves his head between its rightful home in between your thighs, “were you thinking about how good it feels to be in that position?”
“Mm. Yeah.”
“Lucky you then, huh?”
“M-mhm!”
He’s tired of hearing himself talking now, he just wants to be nestled into your pussy and let his tongue work you up in a more productive way than pitiful teasing.
With the palm of his hand flat against your very lower belly, Spencer simultaneously pushes down and up, exposing more of your clit to him and adding pressure to your stomach. He kisses your clit and pokes his tongue out as you lightly circle it as your hips squirm.
Intermittently, Spencer suctions your clit, pulls away completely, and goes back in to repeat the pattern. You’re smeared over his lips and chin and half convinced that he keeps pulling back to see your strings of come stick to his lips.
He changes methods, using his tongue to lick and suck at the source of your slick, nose prodding at your clit. You take it into your own hands to increase the stimulation on your clit as you rock your hips against his nose, Spencer muffles a moan into you.
Recognizing this, Spencer pulls back up to attach his lips back to your needy clit. Through his lips he’s running his tongue against you and the pleasure is unrelenting and intense. The exact stuff that makes you come.
“P-please stay there.” You manage to whimper out, the thought of him changing positions or rhythm is too scary for you to stay silent when you’re this close to finishing. You can feel him smile against you as he stays where you want him to.
Your hands reach for his hair as you thread it between your fingers, the silky stands grounding you to the bed before you prepare to come and fly out to wherever in the space-time-continuum Spencer takes you whenever he goes down on you.
Eventually, the pleasure gets to be too much for you to stifle and savor off much longer, you’re too greedy to ask him to edge you too. You don’t have enough willpower to put this off, you can ask him to eat you out for hours and hours some other day.
With one last suction, stars dance behind your eyelids as Spencer holds your hips down to suck off every last bit of come you have for him, trying his best to lick you clean when you finish all over his face.
There’s nothing to do but take a slow deep breath in and a long deep breath out as you put the pieces of your brain back together. Once you do, Spencer is up by your face again as he was earlier while fingering you, and he’s palming himself over his underwear.
“Okay?” He asks through pleasure filled furrowed brows.
Nodding, you laugh, you can still feel yourself throbbing for Christ’s sake. Spencer nuzzles his nose against your cheek and kisses your jaw. You let your eyes close again, the feeling of his lips against your skin calming down your racing heart.
It’s a completely silent and peaceful atmosphere of Spencer kissing where he can as you come down until you feel his curious fingers swipe at your clit again. Immediately, your eyes snap open.
“I can’t- I can’t.” You bargain like your life is on the line.
Spencer pulls his fingers away for a moment, looking into your eyes and rubbing it once more as you gasp so hard a strand of hair in Spencer’s face blows to the side, he leaves you alone then.
You cannot fathom how Spencer is almost fully clothed right now. With shaky, malleable limbs, you pull him a bit closer to you and slowly pop each button of his top open. He’s watching your fingers work against his shirt as he continues to rub himself over his underwear gently.
Laying flat beside you know, Spencer lifts his hips up to pull his underwear down finally. Like a moth to a flame, you sit up and take him into your hand again, missing the feel of him hard against you, you note that you want to ride him more than anything.
“Spencer, darling, can I ride you?”
For a moment he has an unreadable face, but you know that gears are turning in his head at such a rate that he can’t compute them into a response yet.
“Tonight was supposed to be about you.”
You roll your eyes.
“Spencer, darling, can I ride you for a bit?”
“Yes.”
He responds just as you finish your sentence, eagerly pulling your wrist so you can straddle him again for the second time tonight.
Sitting right below where is cock is hard, you wrap your hands around him and place him up to your stomach, displaying how deep he’s going to be inside of you once you’re fully settled on him, at his dazed face you tease, “deep, huh?”
Spencer shuts his eyes in embarrassment, but his dick twitches and you smile down at it like it’s giving you Spencer’s insider secrets that he can’t say out loud.
Lifting yourself up, you shakily rub him over your entrance a few times before sitting down slowly on his head. You both whine as you start, Spencer's hand on your hip rubbing circles while his eyes are still closed.
You want him to watch so badly. You sink down further, almost all the way with a small squeal that has Spencer’s eyes opening and his stomach tightening, checking to see if you’re in any pain.
“M’ okay. Fucking big, can’t get used to it.” You trail off.
A light pink blush appears on his cheeks like your compliment had come from a sweeter, more innocent place in your heart. You place your palms on his chest as you take a deep breath in and sink down all the way.
“Fuck- perfect. You okay?” Spencer speaks through his teeth at your whining as you accommodate him.
Again you laugh to take the fiery attention completely off of you, “So much dick.”
“Stopp.” Spencer whines. He feels so much like a dude when you compliment him like this, his ego doesn’t even know what to do with these extremely filthy compliments. He assumes you feel the same way when he’s fingering you and won’t shut up about how you feel and sound.
Starting with small circles, it feels like Spencer is churning you as deliciously as humanly possible. The more small movements you give the deeper the need to actually ride him is, you stop holding back and start picking up your hips against his as your nails dig indents into his chest.
Spencer’s singing out soft uh’s with each pass of your hips and you’re (unfortunately) not able to match his sweet pleads as you’re holding back full and embodied moans that slip out when you angle him perfectly inside you.
You want to swindle it so that Spencer forgets about your prior compromise and lets you ride him till he’s coming inside of you, but when your hips stutter briefly with exhaustion, he notices immediately.
“Flip over.”
Pretending to be mad, you roll your eyes and lay flat on your back, the stretch of removing yourself from him making you suck in air between your teeth.
“Felt so good, did so good for me, please let me do that for you.” Spencer whispers into your ear as he positions you onto your side.
One of his arms from behind you is holding up your thigh closest to him, inadvertently spreading you open for him to be inside you once again. With one of his hands on your thigh and the other propping himself up for a good angle, you take matters into your own hands, lining him up with yourself again.
As easy as ever, Spencer pushes his hips slowly as he enters you from the side and your head falls to the pillow, allowing Spencer access to your ear and side of your neck.
When he finds his rhythm, he gets more confident, gaining his voice to mutter praises and filth into your ear as he fucks you.
“What’d I say? Told you I was gonna fuck you, jus’ had to be patient. Jesus, always so patient for me, with me. I’m sorry…”
You can tell he’s not exactly referring to his act of fucking you right now, moreso the push and pull he’s put you through for months. But it feels good to hear, Spencer's emotions are spilling out since he’s put out everything he’s felt for you on the table.
“Mmf. Would wa-wait forever-” You’re trying to be comforting, you’re getting your brains fucked out. The angle on your side has Spencer’s cock dragging along the front of your vagina, every single toe-curling spot is being rubbed relentlessly.
“Perfect. Perfect.”
The open mouthed kisses Spencer’s leaving on your cheek are wet and sloppy, but wholeheartedly welcome. With his face so close to yours his stubble is rubbing against you, making you whine.
Picking up on the way Spencer’s breathing becomes more shallow, you assume he’s pretty close. All night he’s been starving himself of this and you almost get excited for him, you’re too in deep.
Realizing he’s close after you have realized it, Spencer moves his hand from your inner thigh and starts rubbing your tender clit with his fingers again. Moaning loudly through a closed mouth, you let him this time.
You have to trust him to put you back together to your normal self after this though, you’re expecting a hard second orgasm and after how much the first one took you out, you have to brace yourself as you feel it brewing in the bottom of your belly.
Noticing how you’ve buried your face a bit more into the pillow and are trying to work on steadying your breathing, Spencer picks up quickly how you’re feeling.
“I got you, you’re okay, you’re okay. I know…” He kisses along your cheek and with a squeak that makes Spencer’s own orgasm arrive, you throb around him and twitch in his arms as you come.
He’s pressing his body into you as though he’s a weighted blanket, soothing the aftershocks that are thrumming through your entire body with his own. Spencer places his hand against your heart to gauge how you’re doing and begins peppering your skin with kisses.
“Do you feel good?” Spencer’s begun massaging your side and back softly, preventing any sore muscles from developing there before tomorrow hits you.
You come to yourself, before you had panicked, not sure how to trust Spencer completely with the vulnerability you were about to experience, but you’re fine. You’re happy. Coming harder than you have before is not scary because that’s exactly what Spencer wanted from you.
“Yes. I could cry.”
“Baby…”
Slowly you flip over to face him, a little teary but nothing streaming down your face as you plant a kiss on his lips. And then again.
There’s still a small lipstick stain on his jaw from when you were sitting above him on the couch earlier. You trace over it with your finger.
“You’re going to be finding hidden lipstick marks all over your body for weeks…” you smile and close your eyes.
“I hope,” he replies softly and earnestly, “I really like them. I really like you.”
✵
You’re both clean now. Showered and fresh as a daisy, you smell like all the products in Spencer’s shower and you’re standing behind him, arms wrapped around his waist as he dries off his hair in front of the mirror.
You can see his skin is tinged pink from the hot water, creating a sweet blush over his back and shoulders where you press your cheek against. With your skin soft and warm now, you think about the small snow flurries falling outside, how they mean nothing to the warmth coming off you and from inside you.
Spencer moves away from the mirror, allowing you your turn to get fully ready for bed. Taking out the “spare” toothbrush he has that’s essentially yours, you begin brushing your teeth. Feeling eyes looking at you from your side you turn to where Spencer is leaning against the wall and watching you.
Suddenly, you remember what he said earlier in the car, how he realized he loved you. You slow your brushing down and meet his gaze, sure that if someone else were in here to describe your looks it would be a cheesy “eyes shaped like hearts” moment.
Your heart fills, the toothbrush clatters in his sink as you drop it and run over into his arms, placing kisses all over his lips and face, leaving small streaks of toothpaste behind.
Through similar frantic kisses Spencer speaks in giggles,
“I still want to see this every night. I need to.”
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#smut
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genuinely can i ask why you're so against people viewing eddie through a woman coded lense and finding it interesting to compare his own experiences traits and storylines with other female chracters? seeing as you yourself speak frequently about your headcanon for how much "buck diaz" wants to be eddie's submissive housewife who grows a magic womb and gives him tons of miracle babies or whatever and a lot of people use buck liking cooking/ wanting children/being emotional as evidence for this (which what the hell, sure) id thought you'd be open to the feminization of eddie the same way so many people for years have been feminizing buck. the only difference between the two is i see buck feminized more with sexual connotations while eddie's feminization comes from a more societal and familial analysis i think which don't get me wrong both have their heteronormative moments (single parent (which like it or not is most often applied to female characters)/eldest "daughter" parentification/denying himself what he wants etc are the arguments i most see for eddie) not trying to start a fight i just am curious about why you feel one's ok and not the other cause gotta be honest your vehement reaction to this kinda gave me a bad taste in my mouth considering how passionate you are about your headcanon of eddie being this macho dom top which im sure some people also feel is a gross mischaracterization as strongly as you feel about this like,, long story short i guess im just saying let people enjoy things! lol
i think woman coded is stupid as an actual character/tv analysis 😭😭 if someone said buck was woman coded id fucking laugh too because it’s not actually a useful way to analyze his character whatsoever and genuinely have you ever seen me make this claim in earnest for buck? because i don’t do that, ESPECIALLY not citing the reasons you included here, and i also don’t write him as a submissive housewife in my serious creative work.
as you pointed out yourself for eddie it comes from “societal”/“family” which to me feels obnoxious because the ENTIRE point of eddie’s character and specifically his relationship to fatherhood is that he is a man who’s raising his son in a way that he wasn’t allowed from his own father. people yell so much about eddie’s toxic masculinity or his relationship to masculinity or whatever but in the face of choices he makes/ways he behaves that are in active opposition to those kinds of ideals the response is “ok so this means he’s being coded as a woman” … not to mention the flip side of this seems to be a way of looking at SHANNON that’s patently ridiculous considering that her entire story (what we have been allowed of it) is specifically tied up in motherhood, her feelings of failing as a mother, etc. viewing these canon storylines in this way and making claims about these characters like that is patently different from a widespread half-joke about how getting struck by lightning made buck impregnable… i’m sure you see that?
and suggesting that i think eddie is a macho dom top is like actually kind of hilarious considering literally the one thing i’m always talking about is how he ISNT macho 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 at every turn i am on this blog arguing about how this man is emotional and vulnerable and goofy while the fandom at large insists that he’s not. i’m sorry like. hello?? i also outright said i don’t care about being progressive, i didn’t say anything was problematic, i just think this is an obnoxious and hilarious way to intellectually look at things (and deeply transparent but i digress).
#asks#have i been making posts about how buck cant even cook for nothing or what#me at every single turn: They are literally both guys can we just be normal#ppl: Well actually you said—
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Does anyone actually say that Ladybug and Adrien are fake somehow?
Yeah, people absolutely have that take. It's what spawned the original post. One too many fics and shipping poles that treated Marinette and Chat Noir as somehow wrong for their crushes. (I apparently read fast. My ML fic's read count is in the thousands at this point. It's enough to let me notice trends that bug me whereas one fic would just be a shrug and move on thing.) On the Adreinette side you get, "Chat Noir is the true Adrien! Civilian Adrien is just a mask! Marinette only loves the fake Adrien so she doesn't deserve him!"
Chat Noir gets less flak, but I've seen it enough to know it's very much a thing. There's a reason Marichat wins out over Ladynoir in almost every poll. If you ever see one, read the comments for the logic and you'll see what I mean. People with this view seem to think things like, "Chat Noir doesn't really love Marinette because Ladybug isn't stuttery and awkward around him! He has to love her when she's a mess!"
This kind of thing is so popular that I had to stop reading fics that paired Marinette with other people because the "Marinette is the true version" thing showed up all the freaking time. So many of these fics felt less like shipping stories and more like Adrien bashing where he was punished for liking Ladybug and not Marinette. It was draining. Even my favorite one has a scene to make sure Adrien feels bad for missing what he could have had and it's a freaking no powers AU!
I actually had a really lovely conversation about this topic when the blog was young because this is one that gets under my skin whenever I come across it and I occasionally need to vent a bit. The kind person who indulged my annoyance straight up said that they used to think that the square "have to fall in love as Marichat bc that's when they can be real with each other." Which was not a stance that was unique to them by any means. They were just validating my first-hand observations of the way SOME people view the ship/characters.
There is a version of the true selves stuff that's genuinely sweet though. It's the version you basically summed up where it's less about these two being the "true" versions and more about Marichat letting the two get to know each other without the pressure of the crushes complicating things. After all, the canon square is only a few hours removed from love at first sight which certainly adds pressure that Marichat removes. The existence of this version that means I don't hate Marichat or even the words "true self", I'm just warry when I see them as I never know what I'm about to see.
While I get why canon's near insta love and subsequent writing issues would draw a person to Marichat, I'll also once again argue that the issue at hand isn't the various ship dynamics, it's canon's writing as the awkward Marichat arc shows. Even though the crushes only flipped after four whole season, canon Marichat doesn't feel any deeper than canon Adrienette or canon Ladynoir. It's played incredibly superficial and doesn't even bother to acknowledge that Chat Noir and Marinette have a functional friendship as established in episodes like Evillustrator, Glaciator, and Glaciator 2. Elation writes Marichat as if they've never interacted before and Chat Noir is just going on a date with a fan he's never officially met. Passion writes Ladynoir as awkwardly as Adrienette always was. Ladybug's months of platonic partnership did nothing to change how she acts when she has a crush or how successful she is at confessing.
In a better show, canon's Marichat arc would be used to set up Adrienette as a more solid couple. Marichat would allow Adrien to see that Marinette loves him even when he's being goofy, but they'd agree to not date because a hero and a civilian dating is too risky. Then Adrienette would happen and, oh look, Adrien can occasionally crack jokes and be silly because he knows Marinette can love him even when he's at his most Chat Noir in addition to being his most Adrien. Marinette is a little surprised, but fine with it. Canon doesn't go there though. As far as the show is concerned, Marichat essentially never happened. It was a one-off fever dream both characters completely forgot. Canon Adrienette has Adrien playing the perfect flawless boyfriend who never annoys Marinette with his jokes.
In summary, that post wasn't about saying that Marichat is bad or unhealthy or that there's no version of the true selves thing that's cute. It was me venting a bit after seeing one too many instances of people acting like Ladrien, Ladynoir, and Adrienette could never be healthy because friends to lovers is some sort of golden standard when it's absolutely not. It's a neutral preference. Each side is fine. What matters is how you write it.
Why the "True Selves" Theory is Insulting
Image for a second that you have a friend who's a bit of a ditz. She's also fun, creative, and sweet. You enjoy being around her, but you've never seen her as more than a friend. Then, one day, a fire breaks out at an event that you and your friend are attending. Your lives are suddenly in mortal peril and the same goes for everyone around you because you can't find the exit. You think that you're going to die.
Then, suddenly, your friend transforms. Not in a magical way, it's just a personality shift, but it might as well be magical because it's like nothing you've ever seen! The ditziness is gone, replaced by laser focus and a take-charge attitude that has everyone following your friend without question. When all is said and done, everyone lives because of you friend. As it turns out, her tendency to get easily distracted means that she's a fantastic in-the-moment problem solver.
Going through that completely changes how you see this girl. You no longer just like her, no, you're now deeply in love with her. You tell a mutual friend about this and they laugh at you, then say, "Don't be silly, that wasn't really her! Her true self isn't that brave girl who saved your life! That was special circumstances that don't count. All that counts is the way she acts when there isn't a crisis going on. It doesn't matter that you've always liked her and enjoyed her company, if you didn't fall in love with based solely on her ditzy self, then you don't really love her."
Most people would call this mutual friend insane because of course going through crazy experiences changes the way we view people! Imagine if you had an allergic reaction and your significant other's reaction was to panic and run away, leaving you to die. You only live because you manage to grab your phone and call '911.' That would understandably lead many people to reassess if this is the person they want to spend their life with just like the opposite experience might make you see a person as a good life partner.
Marinette is Ladybug. She gets full credit for everything she's done in the suit and it's perfectly fine for Adrien to become attracted to her after he sees her in action. It doesn't mean that he only values her Ladybug side. He quite clearly cares for Marinette, he just hasn't seen her in the right light for him to fall in love. (And, if we're being frank, Marinette acts like Ladybug all the time when he's not around or when he is around, but a crisis is going on. She's really not that different from her alter ego.)
Along similar lines, Marinette isn't wrong for being drawn to Adrien's sweeter side more than his over-the-top jokey side. There's a reason why Glaciator ended with her blushing. Compare the end of Glaciator to the end of Origins and, yeah, same energy because - in that moment - Chat Noir was letting his Adrien side out by being more sincere and vulnerable, which are the things that Marinette values most in a romance and the things that he rarely shows while in the mask. It doesn't mean that she hates his jokey side, it's just not going to win her heart when Adrien's right there being sweet and sincere while Chat Noir hides his feelings behind a smile and a laugh.
In fact, it's pretty insulting to Adrien to say that someone shouldn't be attracted to his more vulnerable side. That his sincerity is worth less than his jokes. Almost as insulting as telling Marinette that her Ladybug side doesn't count and she should get no credit for being brave as that's not really her. Loving her only counts if a person falls in love while she's behaving in her most over-the-top, cringe, embarrassing way.
I don't know about you, but I would never want someone to hold me to that standard nor would I hold my significant other to that standard! It's perfectly normal to have things that you don't love about your significant other. In fact, I'd argue that part of the magic of a real, lasting romance is having someone who loves you even though you're not perfect. If you are looking for a partner who never annoys you or does something wrong, then you will never find happiness because that person does not exist.
Now that I've said all of that, I want to add that I do think that marichat, "love both sides" stories can be cute. It's just not One True Path to Real Love. It's totally fine if the square starts dating based on the things that they find attractive about each other and then just continue to be in love as they learn about the other side. If anything, that's normal. Learning about a person is what dating is all about! A good relationship is no different than a good friendship, you just get some bonus perks if you're into that kind of thing.
I'll also note that I'm not criticizing stories where Marinette feels like she's the "real" version and Ladybug is the fake because that's a really understandable thing to be nervous about. Tikki saying that shit? Hard no. Terrible mentoring.
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NOT GOOD WITH WORDS : VIKTOR X M!READER
synopsis : viktor's always been a reserved guy, but you make him feel things he's never felt before. he's cried during sad movies, laughed with jayce, but never has he felt like how he does when he's with you. will he finally do something about it?
warnings / tw : you, viktor, and jayce are academy students , viktor is clueless about love , socially awkward vitkor , grammarly is my beta
pairing : viktor x male reader | m/m (could be m/gn)
author's notes : hiya! okay so the letter written in this fic is actually one i wrote 2 years ago that i legitimately have no recollection of and just found.. i didn't read it through fully and kinda just copy pasted it so hopefully its not dogshit but oh well... valentine's day has always been lonely for me, so i hope this can bring comfort to anyone who's spending val's day alone this year─ but you're not alone. anyways as always have a good read and an amazing day/night! xo, kai
Viktor's only been at the academy for one year, but he's found his place pretty quickly. He and Jayce are thick as thieves, and you've been hanging out with them too, as of late. He tries to hide it, but Viktor has a huge crush on you. At this point, Jayce can't even tell if Viktor has figured it out yet. He knows Viktor hasn't ever been in a relationship, but he has no clue if he's ever had a crush before. Scratch that, he knows he hasn't, the way Viktor acts around you.
Viktor's never been good with talking, but you've read some of his writing, and your jaw dropped. The way he writes, you'd never be able to tell it was Viktor who wrote it. The way he words things so eloquently, how the letters seem to flow from his pen like it's second nature.
Valentine's Day is either the best or worst day of the year for a lot of people. You've collectively decided to just stay in and try not to think about the fact that it's Valentine's Day. You don't expect to get anything, you never have, so your expectations are basically as low as they can be.
So when you open your locker at the end of the day and there's a sealed envelope sitting there on top of your books, you're a little confused. You look around, thinking at first that it's a prank or something. But when you open the letter and start reading it, your heart swells.
· ─ ─ < ⟨ ৻ꪆ ⟩ > ─ ─ ·
Dearest,
I'm not good with words, but for you, I tried. You're the best thing that's happened to me. I sit here with pen in hand, my heart brimming with emotions that have long been confined within the depths of my being. Today, I gather the courage to express the feelings that have blossomed within me, unfurling like a delicate flower under the warmth of the sun. Please bear with me as I pour my heart out onto this page. From the moment our eyes first met, a spark ignited within me, illuminating a path that led straight to you. You may not have noticed, but in those stolen glances and fleeting moments, my heart began to whisper your name.
With every encounter, my admiration for you grew, and soon, admiration blossomed into something deeper and more profound. Your presence in my life is a symphony of joy and wonder. Your smile, so radiant, has the power to dissolve any worries that burden my soul. Your laughter, like a melody, dances in the air and brings warmth to the coldest of days. Your kindness, a beacon of light in a world sometimes dark and unforgiving, has touched my heart in ways I struggle to put into words. In your company, I feel a sense of belonging, a feeling that I have found my missing puzzle piece. Your words, so genuine and filled with wisdom, captivate my mind and nourish my spirit. Your mere presence electrifies the air around us, creating a magnetic force that draws me closer to you, igniting a fire within my soul.
I am enamored by the intricacies that make you who you are—the way your eyes light up when you speak about your passions, the way your voice carries a quelling melody, and the way your touch lingers on my skin long after you're gone. Every facet of your being, every nuance, has etched itself deeply into my heart. It is true that love can be a tumultuous journey, filled with uncertainties and vulnerabilities. Yet, in the face of these uncertainties, I am willing to take the leap, for the thought of a life without your presence feels incomplete and devoid of color. The thought of never having the opportunity to explore the depths of our connection fills me with an ache that reverberates through my very being.
I am not asking for an immediate answer, nor am I expecting you to reciprocate these feelings. Instead, I write this letter as an offering, a testament to the authenticity of my emotions. My intention is to lay bare the truth of my heart, to let you know that you have become an indelible part of my thoughts, my dreams, and my aspirations. Should you ever find it in your heart to explore the possibility of us, I would be honored to embark on this journey of love with you. But if the feelings I express today do not find a place in your own heart, I will still cherish the moments we've shared, and I will forever hold you in the deepest recesses of my soul.
Thank you for inspiring me to open my heart and embrace the vulnerability that accompanies love. You have given me the gift of experiencing a love so profound and beautiful that it has forever changed me. I love you,
~ V ৻ꪆ
· ─ ─ < ⟨ ৻ꪆ ⟩ > ─ ─ ·
Your jaw hangs open, staring at the cursive V at the bottom of the page. Every sentence left your heart a little heavier, small tears welling in your eyes, but you sniffle and wipe them away. You're in shock as you stare at the page, dumbfounded. Your heart rate picks up, and your brain finally registers that you read. Oh, my gods. Oh my gods, what just happened? I need to find Vik─ wait, oh my. I can't do that, I gotta find... wait, no. I need to find Vik.
You gently put the letter back into the envelope and into your bag. You run around the academy, bumping into a few people along the way, but don't stop to apologize. You finally find him after a full 15 minutes, walking out of the academy, books in hand. "Viktor!" you yell, desperately trying to get his attention. He turns, and his face immediately turns bright red. You run towards him, clutching your bag. You run into him, wrapping your arms around his body, and his cane clatters to the ground. "V- Vik.." You gasp, trying to catch your breath.
"I- I'm sorry. I know I ruined everything and I─" he tries to apologize, but he's interrupted by you. You grab his face, making him look at you. You attempt to search his eyes but fail, your eyes too blurry from the tears you tried to hold back. Tears stream down your face, and you try to blink them away so you can see him.
"V, I- oh my gods, Vik. Please don't apologize, please. You didn't ruin anything. I love you too, V. I love you so so so much, Viktor," you pant. Before he even tries to speak again, your lips collide, and you pull him flush against you. The sensations of your body against his makes his whole body react, going tense. After a few moments, he melts into you, his brain finally recognizing that you actually kissed him. Moments pass, and you pull away to breathe.
"Gods, I love you," he says, in between gasps and sobs, tears flowing from his eyes too. He's still sort of in shock, clearly not expecting this sort of reaction or response from you. He presses his forehead to yours, and you hold his hands.
"Happy Valentine's Day, my love."
#kaisen writes !#arcane fic#arcane x male reader#viktor x male reader#arcane viktor x male reader#arcane x you#arcane#fanfic#viktor x reader#happy valentine's day
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My favorite youtuber posts genuinely really good educational ELA lessons, but there’s also a gilded skull lit by red lighting on his shelf who heckles him throughout his videos. Which you get used to really fast but I Keep Forgetting to Tell That to people when I recommend his channel so a couple minutes after I send a link I’ll get a frantic text back reading something like “Who the everloving FUCK is Whispers,” and honestly, that’s on me for not warning them yeah
#It’s Writing with Andrew btw#he’s so genuinely passionate about writing#and his videos are really funny#please go check him out#Moo’s words
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As usual I read your tags always and so you said Apollo did not ask for resurrection of Asclepius and Hyacinthus so i just wanted to share this. About Asclepius death I read it on theoi.com, that earlier authors don't make him resurrect as a god but that's a later development mentioned only by Roman authors like Cicero, Hyginus and Ovid. But still Apollo has a role in Ovid's version
Ovid, Fasti 6. 735 ff (trans.Boyle) (Roman poetry C1st B.C. to C1st A.D.) : Clymenus [Haides] and Clotho resent the threads of life respun and death's royal rights diminished. Jove [Zeus] feared the precedent and aimed his thunderbolt at the man who employed excessive art. Phoebus [Apollon], you whined. He is a god; smile at your father, who, for your sake, undoes his prohibitions [i.e. when he obtains immortality for Asklepios].
So here it is actually because of Apollo the decision was taken to resurrect him as god. And with Hyacinthus, I don't think I've read about Artemis playing the primary role. I know in Sparta there was a picture of Artemis, Athena and Aphrodite carrying Hyacinthus and his sister to heaven.
This is not on theoi.com but I saw on Tumblr it's from Dionysiaca by Nonnus
Second, my lord Oiagros wove a winding lay, as the father of Orpheus who has the Muse his boon companion. Only a couple of verses he sang, a ditty of Phoibos, clearspoken in few words after some Amyclaian style: Apollo brought to life again his longhaired Hyacinthos: Staphylos will be made to live for aye by Dionysos.
So since he is singing inspired by amyclean stories it probably means in that place it was believed Apollo was the one to bring back his lover to life.
Apollo as god of order was very important so i think it shows how special these people (and admetus too) were to him that he decided to go against the order for them 🥺
ANON!! Shakes you like a bottle of ramune!! BELOVED ANON!!!!! I'm littering your face with kisses, I'm anointing you with olive oil and honey - you absolutely made my night with this because, not only did I get the pure serotonin shot of having someone interact with my tags (yippee, wahoo!!) I also got to have that wonderful feeling of "oh wow, have I misunderstood something that was integral to my understanding of this myth/figure this whole time or is this a case of interpretational differences?" which is imo vital for my aims and interests as someone who enjoys mythological content and literature.
I'll preface my response with this: Hyacinthus is by far the hardest of these to get accounts for because his revival itself, as you very astutely point out, is generally accounted for in painting/ritual format which muddies the waters on who interceded for what. I wasn't actually familiar with that passage from the Argonautica - and certainly didn't remember it so thank you very much for bringing it to my attention!
That said, what I've come to understand, both about Hyacinthus and about Asclepius is that in the accounts of their deaths, Apollo's position is startlingly clear.
For Hyacinthus, it is established time and again that Apollo would have sacrificed everything for him - his status, his power, his very own immortality and divinity. Ovid writes that Apollo would have installed him as a god if only he had the time:
(Ovid. Metamorphoses. Book X. trans. Johnston)
Many other writers too speak of how Apollo abandoned his lyre and his seat at Delphi to spend his days with Hyacinthus, but they also all agree that when it came to his death - he was powerless. Ovid gives that graphic account of Apollo's desperation as he tries all his healing arts to save him to no avail:
(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book X. Apollo me boy, methinks him dead. trans Johnston)
Bion, in one of his fragments, writes that Apollo was "dumb" upon seeing Hyacinthus' agony:
(Bion, The Bucolic Poets. Fragment XI. trans Edmonds)
Even Nonnus in the Dionysiaca speaks constantly of Apollo's helplessness in the face of Hyacinthus' fate where he writes that the god still shivers if a westward wind blows upon an iris:
and when Zephyros breathed through the flowery garden, Apollo turned a quick eye upon his young darling, his yearning never satisfied; if he saw the plant beaten by the breezes, he remembered the quoit, and trembled for fear the wind, so jealous once about the boy, might hate him even in a leaf...
(Nonnus, Dionysiaca, Book 3. trans Rouse)
And the point here is just that - Apollo, at least as far as I've read, cannot avert someone's death. He simply can't. Once they're already dead - once Fate has cut their string - all Apollo's power is gone and he can do nothing no matter how much he wants to. And this is, as far as I know, supported with the accounts of Asclepius as well!
Since you specifically brought up Ovid's account, I'll also stick only to Ovid's account but in Metamorphoses when we get Ovid's version of Coronis' demise, he writes that Apollo intensely and immediately regrets slaughtering Coronis. He regrets it so intensely that he, like he does with Hyacinthus, does his best to resuscitate her:
(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo's regret)
And like Hyacinthus, when it becomes clear that what has happened cannot be undone, Apollo wails:
(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo wept.)
Unlike his mother, Asclepius in her womb had not yet died and so, with the last of Apollo's strength, he does manage, at least, to save him.
(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo puts the 'tearing out' in Asclepius.)
But it goes further than even that because Ocyrhoe, Chiron's daughter, a prophetess who unduly gained the ability to directly proclaim the secrets of the Fates, upon seeing the baby Asclepius, immediately prophesies his glory, his inevitable death and then his fated ascension:
(Ovid. Metamorphoses, Book Two. Ocyrhoe's prophecy. trans Johnston)
Before she too succumbs to her hubris and is transformed by the Fates into a horse so she can no longer speak secrets that aren't hers to share.
These things ultimately are important because it establishes two very important things: 1) Apollo can't do anything in the face of the ultimate Fate of mortals, which is, of course, death and 2) even when Apollo is Actively Devastated, regretful, yearning, mournful, guilty or some unholy combination of all of the above, when someone is dead, he accepts that they are gone. Even if he is devastated by it, even if he'll cry all the rest of his days about it - if they're dead? Apollo lets them go. In Fasti, when Zeus brings Asclepius back, he does not say Apollo asked him to - Zeus, or well, in this case Jove, brings Asclepius back because he wants Apollo to stop being mad at him.
(Ovid, Fasti VI. Apollo please come home your father misses you. trans. A.S Kline)
Even Boyle's translation which you used above in your findings hints that Zeus made Asclepius a god because he wanted Apollo to stop grieving. (i.e 'smile at your father', 'for your sake [he] undoes his prohibitions')
And like, Apollo was deeply upset by Asclepius' death - apart from killing the Cyclops in anger, in book 4 of the Argonautica, Apollonius writes that the Celts believe the stream of Eridanus to be the tears Apollo shed over the death of Asclepius when he left for Hyperborea after being chastised by Zeus for killing his Cyclops:
But the Celts have attached this story to them, that these are the tears of Leto's son, Apollo, that are borne along by the eddies, the countless tears that he shed aforetime when he came to the sacred race of the Hyperboreans and left shining heaven at the chiding of his father, being in wrath concerning his son whom divine Coronis bare in bright Lacereia at the mouth of Amyrus.
It all paints a very clear picture to me. Apollo did not ask for either of them to be brought back. Though bringing them back certainly pleased and delighted him, they are actions of other gods who are moved by Apollo's grief and mourning and seek to mollify him. Him not asking doesn't mean he didn't want them back which I think is a very important distinction by the by, but it simply means that Apollo knows the natural order of things and, even if it hurts, he isn't going to press his luck about it.
Which, of course, brings us to Admetus. And I'm really not going to overcomplicate this, Admetus is different because, very vitally, Admetus is not dead. Apollo can't do a thing once Fate has been carried out and Death has claimed a mortal but you know what he absolutely can do? Bargain like hell with the Fates before that point of inevitability. And that's what he does, ultimately for Admetus and Alcestis. He sought to prolong Admetus' life, not revive him from death or absolve him from death altogether and even after getting the Fates drunk, he's still only able to organise a sacrifice - a life for a life - something completely contingent on whether some other mortal would be willing to die in Admetus' place and not at all controllable by Apollo's own power.
All of these things, I think come back to that point you made - that Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore these people are very special to him if it means he's willing to go against that order but, I also wish to challenge that opinion if you'd let me. Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore, I would argue, that it is even more important that it is shown that he does not break the divine order, especially for the people that mean the most to him. The original context of my comments which started this conversation were on this lovely, lovely post by @hyacinthusmemorial which contemplated upon Asclepius from the perspective of an Emergency Medical personnel and included, in their tags, the very poignant lines "there's something about Apollo letting go when Asclepius couldn't that eats my heart away" and "you do what you can, you do your best, but you don't ever reach too far" and I think that's perfectly embodied with the Apollo-Asclepius dichotomy. Apollo grieves. He wails, he cries, he does his best each and every time to save that which is precious to him but he does not curse their nature, he does not resent that they are human and ultimately, he accepts that that which is mortal must inevitably die. There is nothing that so saliently proves that those who uphold rules are also their most staunch followers - if Apollo wants to delight in his place as Fate's mouthpiece, he cannot undo Fate. And, if even the god of healing and order himself cannot undo death, what right does Asclepius, mortal as he is, talented as he is, have to disrespect it?
The beauty of these stories isn't that Apollo loved them enough to bring them back. The beauty is that Apollo loved them enough to let them go.
#this is such a long ass post oh my god#ginger answers asks#This totally got away from me but I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS AAAA#Anon beloved anon I hope you don't take this as me shutting you down or anything because that really isn't what I'm trying to do#I'm definitely going to dig more into the exactness of 'who petitioned for Hyacinthus to be revived actually?"#I always stuck to the belief that it was Artemis because of the depictions of his revival + his procession is usually devoid of Apollo#I know some renaissance paintings have him and Apollo reuniting but that's usually In The Heavens y'know#I genuinely couldn't think of any accounts that have Apollo Asking for anyone to be revived#Apollo does intercede sometimes but that's usually for immortals like Prometheus#Or even when he's left to preside over Zagreus' revival and repair in orphic tradition#Concerning Asclepius there's like a ton to talk about tbh#There's the fact that in some writings (in quite a lot actually) the reason Asclepius was killed wasn't necessarily that he brought someone#back - it was that he accepted money for it#Pindar wrote about it and Plato talks about how if Asclepius really did accept gold for a miracle then he was never a son of Apollo#It's a whole thing really#I think it's very important that it's Asclepius in his mortal folly that tests the boundaries of life and death tbh#The romanticisation of going to any length to bring back a loved one is nice and all#But sometimes the kindest and most lovely thing you can do for someone is to accept it#Just accept that they're gone - accept that there was nothing that could be done and even if the grief is heavy - keep living#Maybe we won't all get our lost loves back#But there are definitely always more people worth loving if you just live long enough to find them#apollo#asclepius#zeus#admetus#greek mythology#ovid#oh my god so much ovid#hyacinthus#coronis
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His genuine interest in what kind of performing she did played well into the man’s hands because if there was one thing Isabella loved to talk about it was her ballet career, passion rippling through every fibre of her body whenever she got the chance. “I’m a ballerina.” A proud look replacing the bored one she’d had on her face previously, smile coming to her lips. Glancing down at his hands, small nod. “Writing? Like articles, a novel, Tumblr posts…?” Bella asked as she pushed her hand through her striking red hair, smirk curling at the corners of her lips. “If it’s just a hobby then what do you really do?” As a job was the meaning of that question, wondering if he was just one of those kind of self deprecating writer who refused to admit he did it ‘properly’. He looked like he might be that kind of person. He’d love to hear them? Her eyes flicked across his features to see if she could sense any kind of mocking in the comment but no. He seemed genuine. “Well, diet is a cornerstone of life.” Nodding towards the cheesecake. “So you’ve had that, what else have you eaten today?” @arabianwrite
“ What kind of performance? ” His lips curled into a soft smile. He could see how an audience would love her and vice versa. She seemed to him a fiery redhead, intimidating but no doubt artistic. “ I was just doing some writing, ” he shared, already thinking to himself that she wouldn't be interested. He was just an aspiring writer, after all, she was already a professional performer. “ Nothing important, though, just a hobby... ” And then there was that fire again, the blood sugar comment making him smirk. She wasn't wrong, probably, but he didn't expect her to be so...observant, to say the least, and honestly so. She did seem like she knew a thing or two about staying healthy, so his curiosity was genuinely piqued. He did like learning new things. “ You seem really concerned with my diet. If you've got tips, I'd love to hear them. ”
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& well ok there's the kakashi/tobi ship and I just cannot get behind it bc I hate tobi so much like I'm not that big into kakashi/iruka but I can still appreciate it but kakashi/tobi is just like. Get that pasty bitch away from kakashi!!!!! He doesn't deserve him!!!!! And something something forgiveness and history yada yada whatever. I think kakashi deserves better.
And here's my 5 millions slides long presentation on why Gai is the best person for Kakashi [insert every picture of them loving and supporting one another and lifting each other up and playing around and being goofy and trusting each other immensely etc etc etc]
Yeah.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#tangentially related. lol.#listen im a multishipper and unless theres smth morally ugh with a ship i generally dont passionately hate any ship#but them. fuck U t/obi i hate ur ass#and like ok i havent gotten to that part in the story yet maybe my mind will be changed#but as-is it feels like smth that people largely ship bc theyre two 'attractive' characters that have a history#WHEREAS GAI. THE ONE WHO IS GENUINELY GOOD FOR KAKASHI. gets ignored by a lot of fans#bc he's goofy and kind of stupid and not angsty emo uchiha Ya Kno. ya kno.#but hes genuinely just. i could write entire essays. i feel so passionately about this#im still trying to avoid this coming up in anything related to the ship in question#bc i dont wanna poop on people's fun. so im sorry if this does show up somewhere in a search 😭😭😭#i just. need to get this off my chest hfkshfkd i just HATE HIMMMMMMMMMMM SO MUCH im sorry 😭😭😭😭😭#(him being the stupid uchiha bitch. ugh.)
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i finished watching the uglies adaptation and it was mid...... except casting for shay was so good and i appreciate the racial diversity in casting. Idk I feel like adaptations should only exist if they have a vision for interpreting the source material but i am so so biased bc i wanted a sapphic interpretation of tally and shay
#im gonna get booed off the internet bc my favorite wlw interpreted relationships are written by men#scott westerfeld just understands women they all feel real and genuine which is no small feat in a book about getting plastic surgery#an inferior writer would've made it pointless fluff... but he's so cool#he has things to say and that's what makes the book interesting#tally and shay are not a HEALTHY relationship but i think shay being driven to the brink by her hurt over tally choosing guys over her#is given more depth when it's because she loved tally specifically sapphic pain of a man being chosen over u#actually though writing it out.... idk female friendship being the focus is cool too. maybe i'm pushing the romance agenda#when i say shay is in love with tally though you must understand#i do not mean she is attracted to tally and wants to kiss her i mean she wants to be the priority in tally's life and build a life 2gether#and looks out for her and prioritizes tally...... this is very vague ok i should shut up#SOMETHING'S GOING ON BETWEEN THEM IDK HOW TO SAY IT. maybe they do want to kiss#sometimes i get passionate over a ship and then i step back and go oh well I am grey romantic so maybe i should shut up about romance#uglies#tally youngblood
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joined a poetry class this week and so far 3/4 of the poems ive written have been gay as fuck
#i mean he's the same teacher i had for ap seminar and he saw me write a huge ass paper + presentation on queer rep and why we need it#so i doubt he's surprised#but stilll its embarrassing :sob:#whatever who gives a freak#i just miss my old cinema as art teacher..... mr. t.... why did u have to retire and move to nebraska :((#i shall always associate forrest gump and a river runs through it with u#like having a teacher who's genuinely so enthusiastic about ur thoughts and opinions and work is awesome#and he was so passionate about his job and what he was teaching#and we had so much freedom . basically all we had to do was write a full page of bullet point notes of things we noticed in the movie#music themes symbols colors literally anything#and we got to share them and it was so fucking cool#god. i miss the class :( best fucking class EVER.im rambling. what#i just wish i could a taken his poetry class </3
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im still in midst of deadline (will reply to inbox soon! thank you for sending me kind n nice stuffs!!) but as a break let me have this i think i like isagi a lot because he is passionate. but there is something really interesting in how many actions could be categorized as "in character" for him. like he is being friendly—oh yeah, isagi is very capable of that. oh he is an asshole who insults you in the way that would make your ancestor spit—yeah. it's funny. like truly the embodiment of "it depends". in some way also "polite but not truly nice" also it's funny how the one he knows the most about regarding their past is probably chigiri. even bachira didn't spill the heavy stuff on him directly. chigiri and reo are the ones who got isagi pep talk other than igaguri. funny man funny. i probably need to reread to check again but hey let me have this. i can't believe he is still my comfort blorbo this soccerfucker who is a good son and a friend who wouldn't mind to hear you out even if you are not close and you just have to ask. okay yeah let's continue in the tags (and some other time I MISS HIM)
#he is fun and troublesome at the same time with that versatility#probably a me problem but sometimes i look at him and goes#this guy CAN BE a good bf who spoils you but if his ass start acting like a selfish egoist he is i too wouldn't call that farfetched#canonly very career and passion oriented. very professional.#but this isagi guy also threw in and consider how people is genuinely in the way that while yes manipulative to some degree#is what i believe is impossible if you don't have a high level of empathy. though he kinda still miss things somehow i believe#but that's what make it interesting a lot of the times tbh. seeing him improve#but his dedication is something else.#looking at him and his family relationship he really could be the bf of all bf. but he really need a very supportive so#who has their own life outside of him. like thinking about it again it truly reminds me how back when isagi brainrot was on full force#i see him as this guy that has a relationship more as a “resting place” more than anything. like a true cooling off place#where he could rest and be more honest and less closed off#...should probably write it soon. okay yeah break over back to work#babblings
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i know i write fanfiction about him, but sometimes i’ll see a little clip of eddie or an edit and i’ll be like…. oh yeah , that silly goofy guy :,) i love him
#like i genuinely forgot about how much i love him as a character#he’s so dorky and funny and passionate and so stupidly dreamy#like i post my fucking writing on the internet#that’s insane#all because this one silly little guy inspired me so much#all because he’s such a lovely little character
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YOUR WRITING IS SO PRETTY I COULD EAT IT. YOU CHARACTERIZE THE CHARACTERS SO WELL TOO!!!
thank you so much!! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ happy you think my writing is very pretty!! and also makes me happy you think my characterization was correct.
when writing for characters always take a bit of extra time to ensure they sound good? thinking about having an actual conversation with them for a minute and what they’d do! ♧ personally a big fan of viginettes since that reveals a lot of a character more than mainstory.
Σ('◉⌓◉’) mini (huge) rant within the tags of the way of my process to understand a character!!
#i’ve been trying to work on characterization with trey for example because in the main story he is relatively nice#but within his viginettes he’s a bit more than that like a slightly smug teaser than boy next door.#the characters tend to have complexity rather than one dimension traits people tend to stick by#which isn’t a bad thing but to start writing it could help kick you off but majority of the time your characters do have many emotions to#aspirations- such as vil being mean BUT that coming with subtle charm of care- he does not derive pleasure from purposefully degrading other#he firmly believes he can see the beauty in everyone if they try and he attempts to get others to apply themselves so they can be pretty#he does not go around like ew you’re ugly go away unless you have a negative attitude like leona who purposefully does not put any effort#but sometimes his pursuit for beauty can go out of hand like with epel or neige but his dorm ssr perfectly illustrates he knows what he does#he does not always explain himself with having epel do heavy lifting which only helps epel improve but he would not tell him this directly#there are other characters i can rant about the way i write. such as sebek being a malleus fanboy#but that was not a central part of his personality to warrant every fic just mentioning malleus each sentence#the best way to learn how to write for him would be looking at his viginette or his event story without tsunotarou!! he is quite a wonderful#-ly designed character but gets overlooked due to his ‘louder’ part of his personality. but he genuinely has captivated me as a character#the best examples for eng players would be during harveston- when he was extremely passionate about what he did with a soft side for his#plush!! he’s a big softie. he’s just very confused because his grandfather openly hates humans. he acknowledges marja and complimented her#he’s not hating humans for no reason but because it was taught to him. he’s trying his best to be what he is but you can tell he is not too#prideful that he would refuse to acknowledge marja just for being a human. in fact in his viginette he HELPS humans with their lumber#though that is technically due to him being confident he can do so compared to a human thanks to being a guard for Malleus but he is quite#happy to be complimented!!-. he is a character with more depth: ceremony viginette next#he tells yuu to just let him handle things since he’s stronger which shows he’s also blunt and says things without thinking about others at#times. but people are MISSING out on fics with sebek yuu and tea bonding over tsunotarou because he has no hostility to those who like#tsunotarou. he is happy to teach!! his other viginette think pe??: lilia tricks him into eating steak with yogurt iirc and he does honestly#it’s disgusting but he trusts lilia and 100% believe the old fae. THE POTENTIAL. authors need to use that?? just lilia messing with him or#how he can sometimes be so gullible you can get him to trust you mixed together with how attached he was to squirrel plush#he’s actually such a cute character.#there’s also Kalim who KNOWS there are bad people. he is not innocent as he knows there are bad people that want him gone#his least favorite food is curry because Jamil got sick for a week after taste testing his food.#Kalim just chooses. he wants to believe the kindness of the world not due to purity but due to the fact he does not want to live in constant#fear. which in itself already makes him more than one dimension. he may seem carefree but there’s room to play with when describing him??…#questions of styx.
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No thoughts only under appreciated OC Elizabeta
#actually i do have one thoght but it's not about them but i'mma ramble in the tags anyway#so i was thinking about max and his love of arachnids/spiders#and like#he probably wouldn't be able to make daniela un-afraid of them#BUT i think he could convince her that they really aren't a huge threat and that they don't have to be killed and she could probably#even hold one and it wouldn't do anything since 90% of the time she's in human form anyway#but also him being like ''I really like arachnids I think they're cute and amazing and they're so interesting let me go on a big info#info dump and tell you all about them" and just seeing him really passionate about something makes dani's heart melt#because max never does this stuff#he never rambles or goes off on huge passiionate tangents like that#it's usually HER rabling to HIM#and he's so genuinely happy while he talks about them and it's like#She's just never really seem him like that and even if spiders are a big part of it that doesn't matter#because ''holy shit he's smiling and he's talking so much and by miranda he's fucking cute''#anyway i forget what my point was but yeah i think max should ramble to daniela about arachnids cause no one else'll listen to him anyway#this tag rant would have been way more suited under a daximus post but i didn't have any art and if i didn't write it now i was gonna#gonna forget *wheeze*#if anyone takes the time to read my sleep deprived rambles about maximus n spooders thanks lmao i'm going to be now#my art#oc elizabeta#oc max#daximus#tag ramble#re 8 oc
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Hlev but he realizes the way to break out of the script is by merely taking it as a guideline rather than the absolute truth
#perceptive little crow#fucking sex in minecraft is playing as im writing this so im not exactly thinking rn#the thing here is that I've struggling for ages to come up for a reason as to why hlev would be able to live a normal and happy life#while peka just goes to hell#and i thibk i found a good reason? question msrk?#like i feel peka would be worrying wayyyy to much over GHOST BUSTER FUCK#anyways peka would worry too much about fucking everything while not really addressing said worry#he'd just try and take as much control as possible over as much situations as possible. right?#which ultimately would bring his downfall as he causes way too much damage on his way to live#while hlev is like#*well yeah i gotta do what i was meant to do. but those are very specific situations right? do they have to dictate how i feel about them?“#“do they have to dictate how i feel on this world? on everything on it?”#i feel that'd be shown as him getting more and more emotion as the game goes#from like. very absent and kinda uncaring(?) to genuinely passionate and open#like. yea there's that bit with being insane about myths. but what if he makes it a genuine passion born out of human curiosity?#what if instead of having merely passing convos with tortino and build a casual friendship-#-he instead tries to build a strong and healthy friendship with her? one born out of genuine interest. respect and love for her?#if instead of merely taking one fight with the super myths and call it a day he instead tries to understand what drove them to that point?#hell maybe even be a bit of moral support for them?#what i mean is that he slowly but surely owns up the script and makes it for *himself*. he picks the bases and uses them to grow as a person#and to finally allow himself to live and indulge in a world that will allow him to live#which is a realization peka doesn't get. instead trying to get as far from the script as possible#the thing here is that he might not realize that very astray may lead him to fall right onto it. y'know?#and there's definitely something to be said about being doomed by the narrative for peka. considering that. unlike hlev-#his intended character is not particularly nice and good?#need to think this further. but i think this is a good start
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for whom good omens is being written
Hey maggots and the rest of the fandom, it's the Good Omens Mascot here. Today I read a post about this tweet:
The accompanying video genuinely made me cry. And I've been thinking about this for a long while, as far back as February, when I saw a lot of conflicting opinions on what people wanted from the third season. It really is true that no matter what you do, some people will be dissatisfied. But what matters is that Neil is writing this for Terry.
And I was reminded of some paragraphs from the Good Omens TV Companion, which I'd read in Amazon's sample excerpt of the book. I know this is a long post, but I really truly do think you all need to read these, I've done my best to select only the most important parts. Here you go:
'His Alzheimer's started progressing harder and faster than either of us had expected,' says Neil, referring to a period in which Terry recognized that despite everything he could no longer write. 'We had been friends for over thirty years, and during that time he had never asked me for anything. Then, out of the blue, I received an email from him with a special request. It read: “Listen, I know how busy you are. I know you don't have time to do this, but I want you to write the script for Good Omens. You are the only human being on this planet who has the passion, love and understanding for the old girl that I do. You have to do this for me so that I can see it." And I thought, “OK, if you put it like that then I'll do it."
'I had adapted my own work in the past, writing scripts for Death: The High Cost of Living and Sandman, but not a lot else was seen. I'd also written two episodes of Doctor Who, and so I felt like I knew what I was doing. Usually, having written something once I'd rather start something new, but having a very sick co-author saying I had to do this?' Neil spreads his hands as if the answer is clear to see. 'I had to step up to the plate.' A pause, then: 'All this took place in autumn 2014, around the time that the BBC radio adaptation of Good Omens was happening,' he continues, referring to the production scripted and co-directed by Dirk Maggs and starring Peter Serafinowicz and Mark Heap. ‘Terry had talked me into writing the TV adaptation, and I thought OK, I have a few years. Only I didn't have a few years,' he says. 'Terry was unconscious by December and dead by March.'
He pauses again. 'His passing took all of us by surprise,' Neil remembers. 'About a week later, I started writing, and it was very sad. The moments Terry felt closest to me were the moments I would get stuck during the writing process. In the old days, when we wrote the novel, I would send him what I'd done or phone him up. And he would say, "Aahh, the problem, Grasshopper, is in the way you phrase the question," and I would reply, "Just tell me what to do!" which somehow always started a conversation. 'In writing the script, there were times I'd really want to talk to Terry, and also places where I'd figure something out and do something really clever, and I would want to share it with him. So, instead, I would text Terry's former personal assistant, Rob Wilkins, now his representative on Earth. It was the nearest thing I had.'
(...) As Neil himself recognizes, this is an adaptation built upon the confidence that comes from three decades of writing for page and screen. But for all the wisdom of experience, he found that above all one factor guided him throughout the process. 'Terry isn't here, which leaves me as the guardian of the soul of the story,' he explains. 'It's funny because sometimes I found myself defending Terry's bits harder or more passionately than I would defend my own bits. Take Agnes Nutter,' he says, referring to what has become a key scene in the adaptation in which the seventeenth-century author of the book of prophecies foretelling the coming of the Antichrist is burned at the stake. ‘It was a huge, complicated and incredibly expensive shoot, with bonfires built and primed to explode as well as huge crowds in costume. It had to feel just like an English village in the 1640s, and of course everyone asked if there was a cheap way of doing it. 'One suggestion was that we could tell the story using old-fashioned woodcuts and have the narrator take us through what happened, but I just thought, “No”. Because I had brought aspects of the story like Crowley and the baby swap along to the mix, and Terry created Agnes Nutter. So, if I had cut out Agnes then I wouldn't be doing right by the person who gave me this job. Terry would've rolled over in his grave.'
And, finally, this paragraph:
"Once again, Neil cites the absence of his co-writer as his drive to ensure that Good Omens translated to the screen and remained true to the original vision. 'Terry's last request to me was to make this something he would be proud of. And so that has been my job.'"
I think that's so heartwrenchingly beautiful, and so I wanted you all to read this, too, just in case you (like me) don't have the Good Omens TV Companion. It adds another layer of depth and emotion to this already complex and amazing story that we all know and love.
Share this post, if you can, please, so that more people can read these excerpts :")
Tagging @neil-gaiman, @fuckyeahgoodomens and @orpiknight, even if you've definitely read these before :)
#good omens#neil gaiman#sir terry pratchett#good omens show#good omens fandom#good omens mascot#weirdly specific but ok#asmi
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