#he’s bisexual eat hot chip and lie

[hillbroski]

My dnd sillies and that one tweet

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

TFA Bumblebee

[fae-morrigan]

hilarious being a Jon Kent fan and seeing people who don't like him have takes I 100% agree with.

[johnconstantinesdick]

I’m thinking about my Big Three kid swap au (Nico is the prophecy child, Percy is a willow tree, and Thalia is caught in the Lotus Casino) again and specifically Percy is so funny to me. Turns into a tree when he has a found family daughter and almost-boyfriend and wakes up as a a single mother divorcee.

Percy is consistently bringing unhinged domestic spat energy to every confrontation. It’s a full on soap opera. The gods love it. Luke’s troops keep losing respect for him.

Percy kept aging while he was a tree (since we can’t have him join the Hunt) and everyone agrees he’s not the Prophecy Child because he’s fully twenty-something already. So he has no other obligations except conspiring with Annabeth to drag Luke kicking and screaming back home.

Percy keeps referring obliquely to “the divorce” which is very funny but confuses everyone around him. Multiple times he distracts monsters or Titan army demigods by complaining about his “failing marriage” and how “taking care of a kid alone is so hard, you know? I’m not even getting child support!”. Everyone comes out of the conversation sympathetic to the poor guy. Every once in a while Percy adds new lore to see the way Luke’s eye twitches. Luke is not coping well with the judgmental looks, side-eyes, and earnest advice about how to save a marriage. Annabeth keeps getting kidnapped by Luke’s cronies because they very earnestly believe she should get to spend some more time with her other dad.

Every Saturday there’s a truce where all three of them tensely eat cookies in Sally Jackson’s living room. No one has the guts to tell her they’re on opposite sides of a war. Luke tries to turn the tables one (1) time and ask her how she would feel about Percy getting married. Sally’s answer is so heartfelt and genuinely happy that Luke cries alone in his golden sarcophagus later and he never brings it up again. Percy’s smug look goes entirely unnoticed except by Annabeth.

[vvenuspng]

what even is loona doing on her phone all the time. i bet she’s like. level 10,000 on candy crush or some shit

[cherrymoonvol6]

not only is luz the only member in the hexquad that flapjack allowed to make use of his magic, but the one time he did was to literally have luz run into hunter’s arms to try to hug him out of his mind/body control..............

[spamtoon]

Low effort pride icons of characters i enjoy I made in like 2 seconds. Free to use but other than seet toof who??? would???

Alt Elmo and Joke Flags beneath the cut

Spam drawn by the lovely @.Frostbite-The-Bat, ipad kid flag (mark's second flag) by @.dragoncarrion

[ebbarights]

justin kirk really appeared in zoey's extraordinary playlist to be introduced with jesus christ superstar while carried in the shape of the cross and have people polish the floor for him and then dipped

[hirakiyois]

buck and his avoidant tendencies have charmed me, body and soul

- signed, a bisexual with avoidant tendencies

[nofacednerd]

Hughie in season 1 does 4 things at any given moment and those are: being sad and pathetic (like a wet cat), eating the hell out of some mediocre looking food while on a date with Annie, 2 seconds away from a panic attack, and looking at his phone (sadly)

[pochapal-pokespe]

all galactic grunts know is linger around stalk people stare out into space and have no free will

[fruitflavor]

made a ref for these two >_o

[mduhgverbzlih]

any jared born in 1995 can’t cook… all he knows is mcdonald’s , charge he phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie /copypasta

[ozymoron]

is this episode sam centered yes lets fucking goooo

[radioactivegummyworm]

all he does is be bisexual eat hot chip and lie

[multiheadcanons]

REQUEST: TF2 MERCS AND FOOD

scout: okay, we’re gonna breeze past all scout knowing is twerk be bisexual eat hot chip and lie. we’re gonna hold that space, and now we’re gonna move on. scout can cook a bird like a son of a bitch. he can roast a turkey like nobody’s business. he cannot cook anything else. he has successfully made a turducken. heavy handed with the pepper. master spatchcocker. he puts like no effort into it and the bird just snaps. he’ll cook when he’s pissed at medic so he can cut up bird carcasses and tell him his doves are next. really, he’ll eat anything. except sushi. he hates the texture of raw fish.

soldier: he keeps an emergency stash of MREs in his room. normally not allowed in the kitchen. is allowed on the grill. he will use a thermometer when he cooks meat. no american is above salmonella. he is kind of picky, but doesn’t complain since he’s normally not cooking. he doesn’t like soups. doesn’t like anything too soft, really. he would like to work for his calories.

pyro: NOT ALLOWED IN THE KITCHEN. NOT ALLOWED WITHIN TEN FEET OF THE GRILL. CHASE THEM OFF IF SEEN IN THOSE LOCATIONS. pyro has not been, is not, and will never be willingly allowed near the cooking areas since the base fire of ‘74. nobody likes to talk about it. it was a bad day for everyone involved. if pyro begs, they might get to mash garlic. pyro genuinely only knows twerk be bisexual eat hot chip and lie. pyro LOVES spice. the hotter the better. willingly eats ghost peppers raw. and, contrary to popular belief, pyro hates sweets. doesn’t like the taste of sweet and how it coats their mouth. a sweet treat is very rare for them. they like a good pumpkin pie, or a nice sweet potato if they absolutely need something sweet. even fruit sometimes is too much. they like kiwis and pineapples because they sting a little. allergic to carrots

demo: demo is a master of meat. butchering, trimming, dressing, marinating, seasoning, roasting, frying, baking, pan searing. any way in which meat could be cooked demo can and has cooked it that way. once tried to cook a pork roast with a bomb. came back with soldier and tried to cook another one with a rocket. he is a scientist, and he likes to play with his food too. hates sour stuff. he can feel it in his eye socket. otherwise not picky about food. loves blueberries. hates raspberries. tries weird food combinations for his ratatouille moment. will physically fight anyone for the last piece of pizza.

heavy: soup master. cooks for twenty seven every time it’s his turn to cook. has a crazy mental catalogue of every soup known to man and can make a different soup every time. also is the one who knows exactly what is in the fridge at all times and when it will expire. resident grocery shopper with snipes. his job is to have the list prepared so all snipes has to do is take the list and not deviate. it takes them about a week of planning everything down to the budget. not very good with meats, but he can get it cooked. just may be overdone. sensitive stomach, can’t just eat garbage and be fine. there’s something about watching him read and absentmindedly eat grapes as he does so. forces pyro to eat fruit. like chases him around with an apple. his dedication from nutrition came from medic. he found the science behind it interesting, and thinks that caring for your body is one of the best things you can do for it. insane spice tolerance, but he hates spice. get this man on hot ones. his favorite spice is coriander. he likes saying it.

engineer: engie is a master at some good comfort food. he remembers his mama, god rest her soul, telling him as a young boy if he likes to eat he better like to cook. and buddy, does he love to cook. can make a sourdough starter from scratch. his favorite meal to cook and eat are chicken and dumplings. everyone fights for the chicken and dumplings. everyone begs him to make the chicken and dumplings. he’s so extra, he shapes the dumplings into hearts. like his mama used to do on his birthday. everyone eats that shit up they love engie when he’s in the kitchen. always willing to learn a recipe for someone, and the designated chef for birthdays. everyone normally wants the same thing on their birthdays, so it’s a fairly easy job. killer cornbread maker. medic once begged him to make an eggs benedict. he’d never tried before, but gave it a go. it came out pretty okay!the doctor would’ve appreciated it if everything were burned to a crisp, though. he was desperate.

medic: NOT ALLOWED IN THE KITCHEN. NOT ALLOWED WITHIN TEN FEET OF THE GRILL. KILL WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE IF FOUND IN THESE AREAS. medic should never be allowed in a kitchen. he’s messy, he’s chaotic, he enters and exits a room in whirlwinds, his hands are normally bloody. is has a basic grasp on cooking. pretty okay on the grill, but after the base fire of ‘74 he and pyro got banned. not picky at all, just has foods he likes more than others. has tried human meat in a taco. he didn’t mind it! a little too tough for him. might make a better burger. he likes to play in food too much to be given the responsibility to cook. he can help if he wants to, though. normally he brings alcohol and that’s his contribution to team dinners. a good bottle of wine or a 12 pack of beer. loves the concept of edible flowers. he and pyro will ruin a meal by demolishing that shit in edible glitter. please keep them out of the kitchen. he loves a good eggs benedict but he’s the only one who can consistently make hollandaise sauce and properly poach an egg. and he’s not allowed in the kitchen. so the days of the benedict of eggs are gone. eats sauerkraut out of the jar.

sniper: kitchen and grill bodyguard. will fire a warning shot once before headshotting the Banished. past that, you didn’t hear it from me, but snipes is a phenomenal baker. he‘s got a kiss the cook apron. he’ll only bake if he’s the only one in the base. the team will come back from whatever they’re doing to fresh pastries. warm bread. cookies baked to perfection. then he walks in and goes “oh, who did all of this” and the whole team won’t know. but as he watches them dig in, it warms his heart a little. he wishes that they would stop groaning when they ate though, he’s pretty sure they’re not that good. heavy is the only one who has intuited that it’s sniper making the pastries, but sniper doesn’t know that he knows. he keeps the secret though. resident grocery shopper with heavy. his job is to get them in and out of the store as fast as possible with no room for impulse buys. he and heavy are the only ones with enough discipline to resist going over the budget. lets heavy get the produce while he sprints for everything else. their record time is 30 minutes excluding checkout. brutal shopper. will casually move your cart, and you, to get what he needs. sometimes he will begin it with excuse me. but he’s not on the clock. he is trying to get out of there as fast as possible. has also tried human meat. not bad! he’d eat it if he had to.

spy: of course spy knows how to cook. he’s great at it. but do you think he’s actually cooking? he’s only in that kitchen when it’s fend for yourself night, and he does not show pity. yes he does make ratatouille. has a very refined palette. unless he himself is sick. then he’ll literally drink bath water if he can keep it down. once cried when eating a soup heavy made. it was the best thing he’d tasted in his life. keeps a snack basket and carafe in his room so he doesn’t have to be seen in the kitchen. loves some spice, but has a low spice tolerance. he’ll still eat a chili raw. he’ll never admit it but he loves getting to try everyone else’s cooking. it fascinates him, at least if they’re decent cooks. feels a little bad he’ll probably never get to try medic’s cooking. he’s sure the man knows his way around a bratwurst. jam and marmalade connoisseur. his favorite is orange. will literally moan over a good croissant and jam. loves his french breakfast of a croissant, a coffee and a cigarette.