#he’s been fucking the fascist since the guy’s first appearance like come on now
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itsjaywalkers · 2 years ago
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wait wait WAIT are u telling me that ppl are mad at roman?? and they feel betrayed??? bc he turned out to be a fascist??? i’m sorry haven’t we all been watching the same fucking show🤨
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mxtantrights · 3 years ago
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The magic-spy and the bird
the best friends brother trope is in my top 5 tropes. but I've also got a thing for angst. So here we areeeee. enjoy! <3
dick Grayson x f!reader
Jason Todd had asked you specifically to ask his brother out. And he did use the word brother, which you made a point to bring up. He shot it down but still decided to push his message towards you. You should ask Dick out. It wasn’t that simple.
“Jay I don’t think you’ve thought this through.” you said.
He chuckled, “Of course I did. I wouldn’t say it out loud if it wasn’t a well-cooked plan.” 
You made a face at him.
“Okay look, all I'm saying is you’ve got nothing to lose. If anything you're way out of his league.” he said and then gulped down the rest of his beer.
You didn’t like beer and so you worked on a Pina colada. You had done the whole beer thing for years now. As a trained spy it was your go-to for missions at bars. Safe to say you were sick of ales, craft beers and everything in between.
“Ah yes, the magic using spy.” you nodded your head.
Jason nodded along with you. 
“Exactly. Bird brains would eat that up.” he said.
“And when would I tell him that I knew about his secret identity? Before I tell him about mine or after?” you asked. 
Jason sighed and raised his hand for another beer. You rolled your eyes at this. Once he had a thought it was very hard for him to let it go. Especially when it included a thought about people he cared for- no matter how much he claimed the opposite. 
“All Im saying is, you never know until you try.” 
“What are you a fortune cookie?” 
“Fuck off. I’m being serious and I do give great advice you can ask Duke.” 
2 DAYS LATER 
You look at Caliban with bated breath. He had just gotten info on a magic-based rebellion. Work was tight when you rolled with the good guys for too long of a time. You blame that on two men on your life, Jason and Constantine. 
“I’ll put in a good word for you.” he says.
“Thank you, I really appreciate it. And any-”
Before you can finish telling Caliban that he can call in a favor from you at anytime your surroundings change. In a flash you go from one of the underworld crime bars to a room you’ve never been in before.
You look around and sure enough you see the culprit. Constantine.
“There she is!” he smiles.
Not only did he summon you, he did so in front of an audience. Circled around him is Gotham’s crime fighting family. All of them except Jason, Cass and Duke. All of which know about your secret identity and would’ve stopped Constantine from summoning you. The rest of the family are all looking at you liked you’ve grown a second head.
You look down at what you’re wearing. The long sleeve off the shoulder skin tight black dress was the perfect choice for the club you were supposed to be in. Maybe not so much for a meeting with the Bats and his birds.
You look right ahead at Constantine, “I don’t like being summoned.” 
“Ah, but you’re the best person I know for this job. I had to get you over here.” he says.
You take a quick look at all the other people in the room. Then at the screen behind them. Your information is plastered on it. Well, the information that you’ve decided to let the government think was yours. Your codename was at the top of the screen.
“Constantine says that you’re the best way into the underworld.” Batman says.
You’re confused to say the least. Constantine was Constantine, why would he call you in order to get them into the underworld when he can do it himself? It defeats the purpose of having to call him.
“I’m sorry,” you direct to Batman and then look at your friend, “I need you to state specifically what I’m needed for.” 
Constantine moved from the family over to you. As he did you watched as Nightwing followed him with his own eyes. Now Dick knows you’re not just Jason’s friend from around Gotham. Great.
“Bats got intel that something it going down with this magic group, the-” he starts. “hex mutiny.” you finish.
“You already know about them?” Nightwing says.
“I was just getting someone to put in a good word for me with them before you summoned me here. You’ve got great timing you know that?” you say to Constantine.
He smiles, “Well then it seems like you can be of great service, spygames.”
“And what exactly would I be doing, if I can even get a spot with them?” you throw out the question to the family.
Red Robin crosses his arms, “We need someone on the inside to tell us what they are planning for Gotham.”
“I doubt they’d let a newbie in on their plans.”
“Good thing you won’t be a newbie.” Batman says.
Constantine conjures an amulet in his hand. You want to hit him over the head. He could really be a pain in the ass. You grab it from him.
“With this, you’ll be in the perfect position to get in and get out. Easy.” he says.
You shake your head, “Every time you say that I get a new scar.” 
“I promise sweetheart. No scars this time.” 
“Yeah yeah, you owe me for this.”
EXACTLY ONE WEEK LATER
You knew you would end up wounded. Typically with Constantine it was nothing deadly, or nothing your own magic couldn’t fix. But you knew that your luck had to run out some day. And it wasn't his fault.
After finding out what the group was really up to you couldn’t just let them operate. They weren’t really rebels. No they used that name to paint a narrative. They were fascists.
You held the wound to your waist to stop the bleeding. This would have to be the farthest you could go. There was no way you could run out of this. Not with the blood seeping through the cracks of your fingers.
At least you brunt the members down to the ash. It took a lot out of you. And that’s why you weren’t prepared for a hit that tore right through you. 
“Why aren’t you moving?” Jason, or Redhood, said through the comms.
You leaned against the hallway wall.
At least you’d die someplace pretty. When you first came in you didn't notice how clean and meticulous everything was. There were painting of famous magicians on the walls. Along with some stolen art, a Van Gogh or two. 
You ripped the amulet off your neck and felt the illusion fade. The necklace fell to the floor and you let out a pained breath.
“I think,” you coughed and on the clean wall was not splatters of blood, “this is it.”
You could hear Jason shouting on the other end. He was calling out your name, calling out for Constantine to come and help you. Duke was calling for you too. And you could’ve sworn you heard Cass say your name once. 
With your only free hand you tried to open a portal out of the base. You knew it would be useless as you had a mortal wound and portal magic works best under no stress and panic, or blood loss. The usual light from your hands glowed faintly until it didn’t.
“Constantine can’t summon you?” Dick asked.
At that you let your body drag down the wall until you reached the floor. When you did sit down more blood came out. So you decided to lay down horizontally. 
“Hey hey- I told you I wasn’t gonna let anything happen to you.” you hear Constantine through the comms.
You want to laugh, but it ends out more of a chocked gargle.
“I screwed up the mission. I deserve it.” you said.
“You did good. Better than any of us.” Batman said.
“Constantine you need to call in whatever favors you have to get her out of there. Now!” Jason shouted.
“Dont,” you started.
“No. We’re getting you out of there-”
“Jason, I’m not a saint. I never would’ve imagined going out like this.” you said.
Once you were born you were thrusted in this world. All you knew was to use magic as a weapon. To get ahead, to get power, to get the glory. And that lasted you until you turned 19. 
Then Constantine crossed paths with you. He was the one to show you that magic has other uses. Such as helping and healing. You learned the best stuff from him.  And you took what you learned and began to help in ways you could.
You didn’t go on the straight and narrow. Never did you consider yourself a morally correct person. Sometimes the lines were blurred, or they need to be blurred. And so you took down seedy organizations, went on recon missions all over the world.
It wasn’t justice. But it was close enough that you could sleep at night or the odd hours of the morning for more than four hours.
“Sweetheart I don’t break my promises.” Constantine said finally.
You were just beginning to feel your eyes grow heavy. The pain was starting to be comfortably numb. Then above you appeared someone you weren’t expecting in the slightest. 
“Caliban?” you asked.
“You owe me double.”
4 DAYS LATER
When you woke up you felt battered and weak You weren’t used to these feelings and you weren’t used to being so close to death. Everyday was a new experience when you’re the Priestess of Espionage.
You cracked open one eye to find a couple of deviants at your side. Jason, Duke and Cass. The youngest took the chair next to you while Duke and Jason seemed to take the floor. Since they weren’t in their gear you guessed that you were out for longer than a couple of hours.
“Not my version of hell but I’ll allow it.” you say in a raspy voice.
It wakes everyone up.
Jason and Duke bolt to your bedside.
“Why’d you almost die on me?” and “Are you feeling okay?” come from them both, respectively. It makes you want to laugh but when you feel the ache in your waist you stop yourself.
“I’m alive, so there’s that. Positives.” you answer.
Jason shoots his younger siblings a look and they scurry out the room. You try to sit up to ask what it was for but he puts his hands up for you to stop any movement. So you lay back down.
“He would kill me if you tore your stitches.” 
You shut your eyes, “Jason I don’t think Constantine would kill you per say.”
You hear the door opening so you decide to open your eyes. And sure enough you see Jason leaving the room and someone coming in. Dick Grayson, out of his suit as well. 
As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t read his face. Besides the clear betrayal that was there. He definitely knew that you knew he’s Nightwing.
“Hi.” you say.
His face softens, “Hi.”
“I just want to say that I would’ve told you about who I am. Sooner that you think actually but this mission kinda derailed all of that.” you say.
With his arm crossed over his chest he nods, “How long did you know I was Nightwing?”
You wince.
“For about two years now. Once Jason told me he was Red it was hard to not notice the similarities of the Wayne family and the Bat one.” 
He laughs at that and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. It must be going good if he wants to laugh. 
“And when did he tell you that I like you?” he asks.
“He didn’t explicitly say that.” 
There’s a beat of silence. You’re looking at him and he’s looking at you. But he’s the one who seems to be holding his breath this time. You try to hide the smirk you feel forming on your lips.
“What?” he asks.
“Jason had told me that I should ask you out. He didn’t say anything about you liking me.” you answer him.
The red tint that covered Dick Grayson was absolutely adorable.
He nods his head to himself. Twice.
“I- I’m gonna get Jason for you.” he moved to the door.  And you don’t really know what to say. All your words get jumbled in your brain and you can’t put them together in a way that is smooth enough so you deicide to just try your best.
“If you were to ask me out, I would say yes.” you say.
He looks directly at you. Then his signature smirk appears.
“I’ll bring back some food for later.” he says.
“it’s a date.” you answer.
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captnjacksparrow · 4 years ago
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if you had to rank your fav naruto characters how would it go? love your blog btw!!
Hmmm... Complicated ask, anon.😂
[My personal life would be splashed here and there. Please bear with me]
Before 5 months, if you asked me about Naruto, my response would be ‘What the fuck is that?’. I absolutely had no idea such a treasure existed. For me, it started out like a blockbuster movie for the sheer variety of fights and the resulting emotions it brought within me. 
However, there was a point I stopped and thought, ‘Wait a fucking second. This resembles my family dynamics. This person is speaking the exact same lines I spoke to my parents few years ago. This person’s situation resembles mine. Did this creator a time traveler?’. Naruto is the only piece of media that gave me such feel. Am not even exaggerating, believe me. 
I really liked so many characters very much but am going to try my best to list just 10. 
The only characters I hate in this series are Danzo, Sakura and Hinata in no particular order. Meaning, I absolutely cannot see any positives in them. They are crassy, cringey and completely detestable.
FAVOURITE NARUTO CHARACTERS
10. Killer Bee
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HaHaHa :-) Just seeing this character makes me smile and light-hearted.
It’s a pity that he is the only character who don’t belong to Konoha in my Top 10 rankings who was developed well apart from Gaara.
I loved him from Frame 1 onwards and I sincerely wished Team Taka should be packed up with their ass beaten up mercilessly. And that’s what happened.
Despite being a Jinchurikki, he never bothered to mind his surroundings and filled his heart with love from his over protective Brother alone was nice to watch.
He makes a great Tag Partner with Naruto next to Sasuke. No doubt.
The way Killer Bee treated Team Taka like some annoying flies and his cool and don’t care attitude was top notch. It’s not just with Sasuke, Bee treated Naruto with the same IDGAF attitude at first.
Best Moments:
Lariat punch to Sasuke (TBH, Sasuke deserved it. LOL)
Blasted off every member of Team Taka like a doll
His entire conversation and fight sequence with Kisame (Their banters and exchanges are way too hilarious)
His dynamics with his Elder Brother (God!!!! Whenever Raikage gives him an Iron Claw.... What a hilarious duo!!!!)
9. Hatake Kakashi
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Kakashi was my most favourite character when I started the series for simply being ultra-cool with the way he conducted the Bell-Test and taught a valuable lesson for those bratty kids in Team 7 called ‘Team Work’. 
Best Moments:
Kakashi vs Obito Hand-to-Hand Combat (the best in the series)
Kakashi in the Gaara retrieval arc (His fight with Itachi & Deidara gave a good start to the shippuden series. His Mangekyou reveal was surprising).
Kakashi & Guy teaming up with Naruto to reveal Obito in a twisty and tragic way. (Kakashi couldn’t handle the truth at all and neither did I)
Kakashi vs Zabuza (That’s when I realized that the series was getting real serious)
8. Jiraiya
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Jiraiya was my next favourite to Kakashi during my Part 1 days. His open perversion and his entire dynamics with Naruto was one of the best things during the Chunin Exams arc. Taught Naruto about Chakra Control and about the way of a shinobi by just enduring. Naruto follows this even today.
Best Moments: 
Kuchiyose No Jutsu training (Man, I never expected him to push Naruto off the cliff)
Rasengan Training (One of the best arcs in part 1 and it was soo satisfying to see Naruto punching his first Rasengan on Kabuto, He also acted like a quasi parent to Naruto... heartwarming)
Jiraiya Vs Six paths of Pain ( 6 vs 1 was always doomed but still he had the guts of a shinobi and plunged ahead)
7. Uchiha Madara
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Geez. What is there to not like him?? 
Everything he did was absolutely wrong ever since he broke up with Hashirama in a romantic way much similar to how couples break up in my country.
I am an Uchiha. You are a Senju. I wish it had been different.
This roughly translates to how 75% of lovers break up and marry someone else from their own clan in my state. (Duh!!!)
I am from XXX clan, you are from XXX clan. So we can’t love each other and my parents won’t accept this relationship. So let’s break up.
Alright, my first shipping couple in this series is HashiMada for this exact reason. (I started shipping SNS only after episode 478). 
Just like Hashirama, Madara had an extensive build up right from episode 1 where Kurama compares Sasuke with Madara. And flashbacks from Itachi and Tobi spiked my curiosity and I wanted to see his face so badly ever since.
But the moment he landed gracefully like a diva in episode 321.... Woaahhhh!!!! He literally danced in the battlefield and ate up 100′s of guys with just a fucking Sharingan. 
Best Moments:
Going Shirtless before 1000′s of people with Hashirama’s face, no less (Well, I literally went heart-eyed for 5 minutes. Sorry Sasuke, your ancester was way much sexier than you in the Orochimaru hideout and beats you by a million points).
Screaming Hashirama’s name like a cockatoo for 300 times even till the very end (Sorry Naruto, your obsession towards Sasuke for about 6 arcs is pale in comparison to Madara’s obsession which was established in just 6 or 7 episodes.)
I have 25 clones now. Do you want me to put Susanoo or not? You can’t answer. The answer is yes. (Man, his I don’t give a fuck attitude is just an alien level thing)
Openly admitting Only Hashirama Can Beat Me (Say what you will about Sasuke, Madara has no qualms about accepting his inferiority in terms of power. An absolute Straight Forward diva-queen)
Awakening Sharingan for breaking up with his ‘friend’ rather than for his 3 dead brothers. (Geez, Poor Soul. He is the forefather of a Romantic Uchiha. That romantic blood still flows in Sasuke)
6. Senju Hashirama
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Man, I would have placed him somewhere in top 5 if only he was introduced early or had more scenes. I started watching Naruto only because of this very name. There is a local podcaster in my state who goes under the alias of Senju Hashirama and in his podcasts, he hinted about this character and how he was inspired by his ideals. I just googled and saw that this character belonged to Naruto series and I considered watching it. Here I am, making analysis on that very series.
There was this excellent build up for him right when we got introduced to Captain Yamato. He was constantly referred in flashbacks from Itachi and Tobi especially.
But the moment he was reanimated again..... Geez..... It was an hilarious ride all throughout. Out of all the flashbacks we got from this series, Founders Era flashback was my absolute favourite.
From where I come from, we are still under the stupid influence of Clan infrastructure and are not growing up in many aspects like people in western countries do. For me, I hope, one day, someone like Senju Hashirama appears in our state and change our lives for better by uniting all clans as one and treats everyone equally without the shitty favouritism for their own children, friends, parents, siblings.
That’s why this dialogue struck a thunder in my heart
“Be they a friend.... Be they a sibling.... Be it even my own child. I will not forgive anyone who threatens the village.”
Because the clan leaders in our place are absolutely selfish, trash bastards who serves their own needs with no regards for other people from other clans. For a person like me, Hashirama is not just a fictional hero, he is someone who many aspires to become. No wonder that podcaster chose this name as his alias.
He rightfully deserved the title ‘God of Shinobi’. And no one can surpass him, not even Naruto.
Best Moments:
Wood Style vs Eternal Mangekyou sharingan + Kurama powered Madara (He just beats Madara’s ass by a wide margin. This shows he was a whole fucking different level than Naruto + Sasuke combined. In terms of strength, nobody surpassed him YET. Sorry Naruto and Sasuke, you guys are no match even now with your Rinnegan and Kurama lost forever).
His entire banters with Madara (ROFLLLL. Without him, it would have been just another lifeless arc.)
5. Senju Tobirama
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Hmmm, let me tell you something about him.
First off, he is not a racist or fascist as many hardcore Sasuke fanatics claims. He is one of the best hokages according to me. He is abso-fucking-lutely practical, rational, logical and holds no grudge. And Sasuke resembles Tobirama with all these characteristics as compared to soft and naive Naruto. If only he had more screen time, he would be easily in my top 3. 
Just because he didn’t lick the boots of Uchiha (many people’s favorite clan or may I say the only clan that was given any shit about in this series), it doesn’t make him a racist or fascist.
No, he never persecuted the Uchihas. Danzo, the crass bastard, driven off the Uchihas only after the Kyuubi incident. It was explicitly mentioned in the databook and was clearly explained in the series. 
He literally gave the highest position in the village for the entire clan. That is, a military power inside a military village. ‘Shinobi who can cause crimes can only be stopped by shinobi who are even better’. In my state, if a powerful clan decided to persecute another clan, they simply start by cutting off basic amenities like Water and Electricity. Compared to what I’ve seen, Tobirama did nothing but given the Uchihas, the highest position in their village. 
Orochimaru only said giving such a power made them conceited (arrogant). Tobirama had a trusted subordinate called Kagami, an Uchiha in his team. He suggested Kabuto to help Sasuke and even teleported him on his request. He even spited Madara for killing Sasuke, an Uchiha. He openly claimed Uchiha clan exceeds Senju in terms of Love. He openly appreciated Itachi and Kagami as someone who sees beyond their clan. In what world, would a racist or fascist do all this for a clan he hates??? 
Yes, he was cautious of Sasuke at first because he saw him with Orochimaru and even went full-on battle mode because of Sasuke’s carefree threat to destroy the village. But once he decided to go to the battlefield to fight Madara, he simply forgot everything that happened before and started to work with him as a comrade, and even helped him twice. In which world, a racist or fascist behave this way?
Believe me, a person like me who was grown with these clan politics surely can say who is a fascist. He was not. He was just cautious of them because of their ability to attain superpowers with just emotions alone. Let me ask you all this, ‘Would you be okay with people getting crazy powers whenever they are depressed?’. Being cautious is not racism. It really disrespects people who faced real oppression under fascism.
What Madara and Danzo did was a classical example of fascism. 
And No, Izuna didn’t die only because of Tobirama. He died because Madara was too arrogant to instigate war with Senju clan. And this was way before forming Konoha. If Tobirama killed Izuna after the alliance between Uchiha and Senju, I would agree that he was a racist. Izuna lost his life just like any other Uchiha and Senju soldiers in that battlefield. 
Just because he shitted your beloved ‘Sasuke-Kun’ doesn’t mean he is a racist too. Tobirama saw Sasuke along with that scoundrel Orochimaru who once used this very two hokages to destroy the very village they strived hard to create and protect. What will you do, if you were in his place?? Please don’t lie and say ‘I wouldn’t be judgemental’. 
And Imagine you are Tobirama, Sasuke is threatening to commit genocide against the entire village who had no idea about this coup detat instead of going against those old hags. Will you sit quiet as a Hokage?? 
He was the first person to suggest his brother, Itama, that Revenge against Uchihas are futile. All we need is an agreement to make truce. That gave the idea for Hashirama to pursue his dream. And Tobirama was happy to follow that dream and very supportive. 
It’s because of all these reasons I placed him above Senju Hashirama.
Best Moments:
Amazing power display against Sasuke & Co with just an index finger (It was a pleasure to see everyone’s face trembling with mild sweat including Sasuke).
Acted as a decoy to save his young subordinates. (The way he sacrificed his life saying young wills of fire must be protected is just Woow!! I wish his subordinates listened to his words and passed the mantle to the younger ones rather than playing game at such an old age and screwed up many lives. Pfft!!!)
Any time he says ‘Shut Up’ to Hashirama (ROFL)
His absolute ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude to Naruto, Sasuke, Hashirama, Minato and Madara (He trolled them all mercilessly and I love it)
4. Senju Tsunade
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It hurts me to say that Tsunade is the only female character in my list because every other female characters were written in a much more piss poorly way. Only Konan came close to Tsunade but her role was very short. 
Despite her character’s purpose revolved around another male character (Dan) and a blatant objectification of her breasts, I liked everything about her other than those mentioned above. 
She is the Second Best Hokage who took Konoha right after the destruction made by Orochimaru, excellently handled the aftermath by making friendly relations with Suna (Sand village), provided her best medical support to Konoha in the Pain Arc and successfully handled the fourth Shinobi world war. 
She is such a badass who developed her own original jutsu called Byakugou no Jutsu, which can heal herself. 
She is just way too amazing and it’s a pity that we got very less scenes in Shippuden.
Best Moments:
Took 25+ stabs from Madara’s Susanoo like a piece of cake (Man, I simply couldn’t describe that scene. All the other Kages were shocked and even Madara too)
Lifted her advisors like a cabbage sack (Those fucking old hags deserved it. Those shits should’ve died)
Her index finger flick assault on Naruto (Aww, Naruto was definitely bratty in his first meeting and Tsunade didn’t hold back at all)
Played Orochimaru like a basketball (In that same arc, she fought Orochimaru mercilessly like a devil left and right. Someone who claimed to have surpassed Tsunade never even dared to fight Orochimaru’s student and crying for his attention after just receiving one stab from Madara. Just saying)
3. Uzumaki Naruto
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Naruto is the titular character and your emotions evolve along with him. He surely deserves a spot in Top 3. The only reason I didn’t place Naruto even more higher is because he didn’t experience something very important which many characters in this list faced. That is, Losing a loved one before his eyes. Every villain in this series became what they are because they lost someone important before their eyes like Nagato, Obito. (Nope, I don’t count Neji as his loved one). I think this tests the mettle of any character and Naruto failed to experience this. The only person he ever lost was Jiraiya and that too from off-screen. That’s why I felt his journey to his dreams seemed little easier compared to the rest of the characters.
His best block of episodes will always be the part 1 Episode 1, 2, 3. Episode 1 is the character defining episode for Naruto and what he learned there will be applied everywhere till the very end of the series. He learned 3 things
Forgiveness, Empathy and Acceptance
Talk-No-Jutsu
Kage Bunshin no Jutsu
From then on, this boy wins many friends to his side, not only from Konoha but from other villages too and even made them to acknowledge his strength only through his sheer hard work. 
However, there is this person, whose acknowledgement he wants the most.  That person is his most important bond along with Iruka Sensei. He is none other than Sasuke. One day, Sasuke left him alone for some unavoidable reason at the end of part 1 which left a huge scar in him and he vows to bring him back to the place where he belongs. That becomes his ultimate goal rather than becoming an Hokage.
The way he goes to any extent to protect the people he cares about is just simply entertaining to watch.
Every time he makes an heroic entry to save the day was never boring, not once. 
Best Moments:
Sobbing from his heart after hearing Iruka Sensei acknowledging him (It just makes me feel heavy for no reason. The anime team did an awesome job to capture his emotions convincingly)
Awakening Kyuubi Mode for the first time after seeing Sasuke die in his arms (Man, out of all the collective hatred he got from the villagers, this moment affected him a lot speaks volumes)
Punching Neji from the underground to win the Chunin exams (God, I honestly believed Naruto lost but he just surprised us heavily from nowhere. And that failure speech was just pure bliss to watch even today)
Pain Vs Naruto (One of the best arc for Naruto. Because unlike other arcs, where Naruto fought with a team, this arc he was all alone fighting a person with Rinnegan. Be it the exuberant landing from the frogs with a dramatic kabuki music, creating multi-step attacks, coming up with novel solution in that difficult situation, finally ending the conflict without killing the enemy, becoming an hero. Superb journey. The only thing I didn’t like in that arc is some shitty selfish proposal. PUKE!!)
Bearing the burdens of his most important person and die along with him (This boy always shouts he will never die until he becomes an Hokage. But for Sasuke, he was ready to die along with him in order to not leave him alone proves how much he loves him. This shows his emotional maturity rather than shouting at Sasuke like he always did before which never reached his ears. This time it did)
Final Good Bye to Minato (Honestly, I was bawling just like Naruto in that scene no matter how many times I watch it. It started out slow but as he speaks more and more, he simply couldn’t hold back and wept a sea of tears 😭😭😭)
2. Uchiha Sasuke
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One of the well written characters in this series, with all the flaws and positive stuffs which makes him more of an Anti-Hero. He always subverts my preformed opinions and never ceased to surprise me.
Despite being aloof and cold, his warmer side will always be exposed towards Naruto. This is evident by many things he had done for Naruto which he don’t have to or no reason to. Starting right from roasting Sakura, offering lunch, asking for tips, enquiring about breakfast, protecting him many times and dying for Naruto. 
Why I placed him above Naruto is because of his unavoidable decision to tread in a complicated dark path primarily due to the trauma he carried and was stirred up again by collective factors such as Orochimaru’s cursed seal, Itachi’s arrival and Naruto’s growth. Compared to Sasuke, Naruto had an easier path because he never saw anyone die before his eyes and hence he don’t carry any trauma which can divert his path.
Even after watching his entire clan and family members murdered before his eyes at an age 8, he managed to pull himself and never snapped out like many other good characters does. But the moment when he found out that Itachi was good all along, he simply couldn’t tolerate the truth and gave himself to Vengeance. Because, he loved his brother more than he hated him all these years. This shows he loved his brother more than his parents. His resolve to destroy Konoha was perfectly understandable. But is it good? Nope. He can kill Danzo and those old hags but killing other people was never justifiable.
But still, his resolve to have his vengeance was diverted by Naruto and weakened by Itachi, at some point. So, he decided to know the truth and when he heard it, he understood the Hokages also sacrificed many precious things to protect this village just like his Brother Itachi. He understood the mistakes of his clan and decided to protect the village which he swore to destroy. [Many Sasuke fanatics think that he succumbed to the Government and Kishi wrote Sasuke to bootlick them. Their idea was to tackle genocide with another genocide. What a stupid idea!!!!]
And No, I don’t consider him trying to kill Sakura, Karin and Kakashi as his bad moments (though I feel bad for Karin). For the simple reason being, he became a monster by losing himself in the darkness who lost the rationality to differentiate friends from foes. Much similar to how Naruto lost himself to Kyuubi’s hatred against Orochimaru and in Pain Arc. It’s so hypocritical to ignore Naruto and accuse Sasuke here. Plus, Sakura had no business to be there otherwise Sasuke would not have tried to kill her. 
But does it mean Sasuke did nothing wrong???
Nope.
He definitely shouldn’t have joined Akatsuki and hunted Killer Bee like an animal. Because, he knew that Tobi was the one who helped Itachi massacre the clan. When fighting Itachi he specifically vowed to kill Madara (Tobi). On top of that, Itachi passed on Amaterasu in his eyes specifically to stay away from Tobi. Why did he ally with him? Plus, Sasuke was one of the few characters who was exposed to the name ‘Akatsuki’ in part 1 itself. He clearly knew that this organization targets Naruto, his closest bond. Why did he join there? This is where the stupid part of Sasuke came out. I was grunting... ‘Oii Where did that clever Sasuke, who faced 1000 soldiers without killing any of them, went??’. 
And his plan for Revolution???? I thought it would be reasonable. But his vision was eerily similar to Danzo’s vision. Grrr..... Danzo also wanted to create his ideal village by destroying the current Hokage. He wanted to unite the Five Village and put himself on top of everyone as evident from the Kage Summit arc. 
I appreciate him that he finally adopted the Will of Fire, by wanting to protect the village at all costs just like Itachi and Hashirama did. But his methods are not very democratic. Plus, he wanted to do it alone. I was screaming at him... ‘Grrr, Sasuke, did you listen to Itachi at all???. He failed because he did everything alone. Why can’t you understand????’ This is also another instance, Sasuke’s stupidity glanced out.
I am happy Naruto knocked some sense into him by telling him not to do it alone but together.
Many fanatics also ask, ‘What did Sasuke do wrong to atone for his sins at the end?’.
I was like ‘Reallly????’
He joined Akatsuki, an organization which terrorized all the 5 villages and he hunted someone like an international criminal.
He spoiled the Kage Summit and attacked Raikage who lost his arm because of him. I know what happened over there is not Sasuke’s fault. But these are the kages who was loved by many people in their own villages. How can the world forget it and simply let him go?
It’s exactly because of all those lovely stuffs he did in Part 1 and all these mistakes he did in Part 2 but willing to correct his mistakes by sharing the burdens of his other half in the end made him more interesting, complicated and exciting and that’s why I love this character.
I also have a personal bias to love this character sooo much because of the character on top of my list.
Best Moments:
Defending Naruto before Sakura (Awww!!! Such a good boy he was. Eventhough I thought he was a typical arrogant K-Drama hero, he just subverted my opinion in that one scene. I always have a thing for people who stands up for someone even though they don’t have to. This is where I started to like Sasuke)
My body moved on its own. (Is there anything that trumps this scene in terms of emotions and love in this series?. This moment is where I understood the depth of Sasuke’s emotions towards Naruto).
What is a Clan? What is a Village? What is a Shinobi? (I was really hoping for Sasuke to question himself something similar to this. Because he was so self-absorbed in his hatred and failed to look outside him ever since he left the village. It was so gratifying that he did that)
Killing Orochimaru (I always thought Sasuke will kill him only after he tries to take over the body. Never imagined that he will strike the snake first)
Killing Danzo (Man, what an amazing battle!!!. It was so gratifying to see such a crass bastard die many times over and over).
His dramatic confession through his monologue (After the mystery of Who is this Tobi, Sasuke’s obsession towards Naruto remained a mystery for me. Why did he listen to Naruto under the bridge? Why did he protected Naruto in the War? I got the answer only after this confession. It was so heartwarming to see this mellow side of Sasuke)
1. Uchiha Itachi
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I could write pages about him. The foremost reason I like Itachi and earns the top spot in my rankings is because he shockingly resembled me in many ways. As I already said, I come from a place where clan politics plays a major role and when I see Sasuke’s flashback in part 1, I was simply dumbstruck by such a detailed similarities.
Elder child of the family - ✅
Have an adorable younger sister who loves me more than my parents - ✅
Same age gap (5 years) with my sister as Itachi and Sasuke - ✅
Parents paying total attention on me while ignoring my sister completely - ✅
Parents constantly comparing my achievements with my sister - ✅
A sister who bear hugged me every time I entered the home after returning from my school - ✅
Despite my mom being a teacher, my sister always prefers me to teach her stuffs as she considers me to be way too better than my mom -  ✅
Love my sister more than my parents - ✅
Clan-Obsessed parents - ✅
Used me as a tool for the benefit of the clan - ✅
Sending another person from my clan to spy on me - ✅
Strained relationship with my parents - ✅
Disgusted with my clan - ✅
Most importantly, this dialogue from part 1 episode 129,
Clan? Clan?
Obsessed with the organization, Obsessed with the clan, Obsessed with the name, that’s merely the detestable action that restrict yourself.
I have given up all hope in this worthless clan
Because, people obsess themselves to their clan, a thing so petty, they lose sight of the things that are truly important.
A real change cannot occur under restraints and controls
I confronted my parents with the exact same dialogue (almost 98% similar) in my own native language some years ago. 
I didn’t even know the existence of Naruto series at that time. I was simply shell-shocked by all these similarities with this character. 
And Yes, The moment I heard these dialogues, I knew Itachi, was a good guy, who had a very strong reason for his actions and I instantly knew Sasuke’s revenge will not bear him any happiness. 
It is exactly because of all these striking similarities of myself with Itachi, and my lil’l sister with Sasuke, my family dynamics with the Uchiha family.... I could understand the magnitude of Sasuke’s love towards Itachi. 
And precisely because of that, I could understand Sasuke’s love towards Naruto is not fucking ‘brotherly’ one but something that leans towards Attraction. 
No wonder, Itachi left Sasuke in Naruto’s care. 
Anyways to speak objectively, 
Itachi is an extremely self-sacrificial person whose life is full of pain and miseries but never blames it on the world unlike other Uchiha members like Madara, Obito and Sasuke to an extent.
He did things considering the bigger picture which never benefitted himself in anyway and was willing to go to any extent even at the expense of his own family and his brother’s happiness. That is, Uchiha Clan Massacre and Joining Akatsuki. None of this benefitted him in anyways but he did it anyway, for the village of Konoha. 
His ideals are shockingly similar to Hashirama, Which Sasuke pointed this out and Hashirama acknowledged that Itachi was a better shinobi than he was. ❤️❤️❤️
Now, does this means I support Uchiha clan massacre?
No way. Even Itachi didn’t.
This massacre happened because of the huge clusterfuck from Hiruzen’s incompetence, Danzo’s paranoid arrogance, Uchiha clan’s devious plan to over throw the government by force rather than approaching it in a peaceful way, say, a peace talk or a protest. 
All these people acted on their own self-interest. Itachi and Shisui caught in their whirlpool, bear their burdens and paid for it with their life. Sasuke suffered for it.
But, it’s not the only reason I love this character. It’s because, the moment he decided to massacre everyone, he marked his own death by the hands of his beloved brother. I love people who owns up their mistakes and face the consequences rather than making excuses (even though it’s not entirely his mistake).
Itachi is also the only character in this series who realized his failures on his own without anyone’s interference or Naruto’s Talk-No-Jutsu. 
And he apologized for everything he did to Sasuke.
Again, some hardcore Sasuke fanatics criticize/hate him for torturing their poor ‘Sasuke-Kun’ with his Tsukuyomi. I was like ‘Hmmm...What?’. 
First off, Itachi apologized to Sasuke for not thinking out from his point of view and also for not telling him the truth earlier.
Second off, Sasuke never even blamed Itachi for anything (even he didn’t hold him for killing their parents). If Sasuke himself, forgiven Itachi... Why are his fans being so rabid?
Third off, for all of his supposed ‘crimes’, he paid for it by dying as a disgraceful Madman rather than a Hero who really saved the village. He is someone who should be celebrated like Naruto but instead died proudly as a Traitor of Konoha.
All in all, One of the wonderfully written character I have ever seen in the media. 
Best Moments:
Itachi vs Sasuke (That battle was a pure brilliance and highly emotional especially after knowing the truth. When Sasuke released his Kirin, Itachi showed off his ultimate armour Susanoo like a badass. Seeing Susanoo for the first time gave me chills. No, Sasuke didn’t kill him. Itachi died on his own)
Itachi vs Orochimaru (Man, Itachi may look mellow but when it comes to Orochimaru he is a pure Sass. He screwed that snake up both the times by a wide margin. It seems Uchiha brothers like to fuck up Orochimaru, LOL)
Talk-No-Jutsu’ing Naruto (Geez, Naruto was being completely bratty and was full of saviour complex like he was going to bear everyone’s hatred by himself. I was almost annoyed. Thanks to Itachi, he realised. Probably he is the only character to shut Naruto using his own jutsu)
Izanami’ing Kabuto (Other than Naruto, he is the only character to go out of his way to empathize with a villain and put extreme effort to change him. I think this is why Sasuke loves Naruto, for seeing these similarities??? ).
Goodbye to Sasuke (The first time when he said ‘Forgive me, Sasuke. This is the last’ by poking his forehead and finally closing the distance by butting with Sasuke’s head softly saying ‘I will love you always’.... It always evokes uncontrollable tears in me, no matter how many times I watch it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)
HONOURABLE MENTION
Uchiha Obito
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God, Am such a sucker for Uchiha guys individually, though collectively as a clan they fucked up big time. I simply couldn’t find the place for him in the top 10. He is a classic example of What Naruto will be like if he becomes a villain?
However, all those horrible stuffs he did just for a girl whom he had a crush on which was never reciprocated seems childish. That’s why I couldn’t put him in Top 10.
And his understandable but weird obsession on Naruto was always enjoyable to watch. 
One cute thing I liked about him was, whatever criminal stuffs he may have done, he was never a cheapskate though. He had every chance to take back Kakashi’s Sharingan to activate his own Susanoo. But he never even thought of such an idea. He was a bad guy. But a good friend, no matter what. 
Pure Baby!!! But lost his way!!!
Best Moments:
Importance of Team Work (’In the ninja world, Those who break the rules are  scum. But those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum’. This very legacy he left to Kakashi came to defeat him later. And Naruto follows this motto even today)
Sacrificing his Sharingan (’I am giving you my Sharingan. No matter what the villagers say, you are a great Jonin. Please take it’. Awww!!! Obito. He left his Sharingan which helped Kakashi to complete a jutsu called ‘Chidori’, which is a go-to jutsu of Sasuke)
Thanks for the ask, anon. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. ❤️
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thankskenpenders · 4 years ago
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Enerjak Reborn intermission: Who the hell is Enerjak?
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Before we move on to the second half of the fun, thrilling, and exciting Enerjak Reborn arc, I think it’s a good idea to pause and take a look back at where we came from. Reading this arc, you may be asking yourself: where’d this Enerjak guy come from? It’s been over six years since I covered the comics featuring the original Enerjak, after all (and I tended to skim over stuff a lot more back then)
So here’s a crash course in Archie’s original nemesis for Knuckles. The big question today is... did the original Enerjak ever DO anything?
As has been established, the original Enerjak was a powered up form Dimitri took on. Even if you’re not following all this too closely, you’ll probably recognize Dimitri as the floating cyborg echidna head. He’s pretty memorable in that form
In his youth, though, Dimitri was a normal echidna scientist working alongside his brother Edmund on Angel Island. Together, the two of them found the legendary Zoot Chute
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This, of course, led them to the chamber of the twelve Chaos Emeralds (yes, twelve--the lore was different back then) that were holding Angel Island up in the air. It had been generations since the echidnas had Brexited their capital city into the sky to dodge the White Comet, and they figured, hey, maybe we should land this thing. And so Edmund and Dimitri set out to slowly syphon away the power of the Emeralds to do just that, gently lowering the floating landmass back into the crater it had left behind. A reasonable idea!
Except then their proposal to land Angel Island was denied, so Dimitri got pissed and stole the Chaos Syphon to do it anyway. But then the machine went HAYWIRE and he absorbed the energy himself and it flipped his morality switch from good to EVIL!!!
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Boy, that was sudden!
From there Dimitri’s plan was to enslave everyone on Angel Island and make them turn the whole island into one big airship, from which Dimitri would subjugate the surface world
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(No, the pirate motif isn’t an artist taking liberties with the script--Ken drew these lore dump backup stories himself)
Boy, this guy sure does have big plans! And he’s got the power to back it up, too, since he absorbed eleven whole Chaos Emer--oh, whoops, the fire ants chewed through the base of his spooky tower and he was immediately crushed by rocks before he could do literally anything else with his new power
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From here, Edmund and his allies “renounced technology” and “destroyed their city” (not really, but that’s how the story goes). His descendants would become the Brotherhood of Guardians, eventually including Locke and Knuckles. This part of the lore dump gave me some of my favorite panels. Meanwhile, Dimitri’s side of the family sought revenge and went full techno-fascist, forming the Dark Legion
Fast forward a few hundred years to the events of the three-issue Knuckles miniseries, and Dimitri's HP finally recharges and he manages to escape from the rubble, ready for his first face-off with Knuckles! Except he’s no longer just Dimitri... he’s apparently now Enerjak!
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While the echidna lore dump stories published literally immediately before this miniseries that Ken drew himself depicted Dimitri as simply turning all green and glowy in his powered up state, the art in the recap pages of this miniseries seems to retcon the story and say that he had actually turned into Enerjak. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t just use Enerjak in the original stories to set the persona up more instead of just having Dimitri turn green. Here Archimedes also refers to Enerjak as “the great evil of legend” even though no one is supposed to know about Dimitri’s Enerjak persona yet. Actually, this little point of confusion was expanded upon by Ian, which is why in his version of the canon Enerjak is an entity that multiple people can become, rather than just a supervillain persona for Dimitri. Anyway!
In this first confrontation, Enerjak displayed a few of the signature moves Knuckles has been using in the Enerjak Reborn arc. He’s able to unleash blasts of Chaos energy, freeze his opponents in place, and teleport them elsewhere. He uses this to make short work of the Chaotix and teleport Knuckles and Archimedes out to die in the desert of Sandopolis Zone
From there, Enerjak made a new evil citadel (guy just LOVES making evil citadels), this time made to resemble Echidnaopolis... except evil. He christened it “Nekronopolis.” He also, like... made some robots for Knuckles to fight, apparently based on robots they used to have in Echidnaopolis? Okay
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In their final confrontation of the miniseries, Enerjak mind controls the Chaotix to make them fight Knuckles. He then starts going on and on about his unlimited power while struggling to kill a teenager, only to be undone when--surprise!--the fire ants show up and sabotage his fortress again. This time, though, they launch him into space with help from Locke instead of just making the citadel collapse on top of him. Oh, and then his evil fortress disappears. He leaves no mark on the status quo of the series in his first appearance aside from adding one more guy to the list of characters Knuckles has fought
Later, in issue #7 of the full Knuckles series, Enerjak is summoned back to Angel Island and meets the Dark Legion. Since he’s their beloved Dimitri, he immediately becomes their new leader. And so Enerjak gets his rematch with Knuckles. This time he uses new tricks like making himself giant and teleporting himself and Knuckles to various inhospitable locations like the moon. (Admittedly, the moon thing is cool.)
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Eventually he gets bored toying with Knuckles, though, and he decides to just disintegrate him
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BUT Knuckles is immediately saved by God the Ancient Walkers, who won’t allow one of their Chosen Ones to die so easily. So he comes back right away
Enerjak then leads the Dark Legion on an all-out assault on Echidnaopolis. He doesn’t really do much even though he could probably singlehandedly disintegrate the entire Echidnaopolis defense force with the snap of his fingers
And then Mammoth fucking Mogul shows up and drains him of all his power with the Sword of Acorns and turns him into a prune
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No, Knuckles wasn’t even the one who beat his supposed nemesis in either fight
And that’s it for Enerjak! No, really! He appears in two story arcs for a total of six issues, and that’s it. He’s just regular old Dimitri from this point forward, eventually becoming a cyborg and then a head. He has no powers and is just a fascist
As with just about every other element of Ken’s Knuckles comics, Enerjak was all hype and no substance. Dimitri is an important figure in The Lore, but as Enerjak he doesn’t actually do anything with his unlimited power that has any lasting impact on the story whatsoever. He just taunts Knuckles and then gets his power slurped out by a mid-tier villain. It’s clear that Ken wanted to paint this as Dimitri repeatedly suffering for his hubris, but it sure would’ve been nice if he actually did anything before he loses each time. Like, honestly? If you took the Enerjak persona out of the story entirely and instead just had the Dark Legion bring back regular old Dimitri with their technology, very little about the overarching story would change. He also has absolutely zero nuance as a character, going from a well-intentioned if headstrong scientist to a world-conquering tyrant demigod to the leader of the techno-fascists at the drop of a hat when the story requires it
Needless to say, it is VERY SATISFYING to have Knuckles become a version of Enerjak with way more nuance and to see him actually do stuff with that power in Ian’s run. Not just cool fighting moves (although he has those!), but also stuff that will have a lasting impact on the series
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asgardian--angels · 4 years ago
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Recommend some good folk metal music please
:D i never thought i’d see the day when someone actually wants to know more about the music i listen to *cracks knuckles* my time has come
I apologize in advance for this novel. Feel free to skip to the recommended tracks lol.
Most folk metal comes out of northern Europe (Finland, heavily) though you can find it all over the world (Hu Band comes to mind but I mean, it’s on every continent). I am one of those people with like, a small handful of favorite bands that I listen to mercilessly so I am sure that I am only representing a miniscule percentage of what’s available out there. What’s great is that folk metal is much more versatile than many other genres in its sound; the essence of folk metal is simply to 1) utilize traditional (or rather, in the sense of a metal band, non-traditional) instruments such as violin, accordion, brass ensemble, bagpipes, what have you, and 2) have lyrical themes which revolve around regional folklore, mythology, cultural heritage, or place (what I particularly like is a frequent reverence and respect for nature). Other genres of metal (death, black) have the second element but not the first, and tend to incorporate darker overall tones and consistently harsher or lo-fi vocal styles and sounds. Folk metal can be a gateway genre into metal and can often be quite hopepunk (if you will). Because of these criteria, the actual sound of folk metal can range from sea shanties to ‘spooky walk in the midnight woods’ to scathing social commentary to SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SH
Basically you can find a range of styles within the genre that fit what you’re looking for, from those that have an orchestral, ballad feel, to things that border on death metal but have a hurdy-gurdy in there. There’s also a much higher percentage of female-led folk metal bands than other metal genres.
I’ll go through my top picks.
Turisas. These motherfuckers. My boys.
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Turisas is based in Finland, but sing primarily in English (with occasional Finnish, a smidge of Greek and Swedish too). Four albums out to date, fifth in progress. Sound is absolutely fucking bonkers god tier shit, if I may say so myself. Every single song sounds like you’ve been transported into an Iliad metal musical. Heavy use of a full orchestra and choir, along with sick violin and accordion solos. Their lyrical themes focus heavily on ancient Greco-Roman and Viking military history - but before you raise any red flags, rest assured they’re liberal as fuck and trust me the tea is scalding when Mathias feels like making a Point about Then and Now. No seriously, I don’t know how to express the beauty and depth of his songwriting - Mathias Nygård is an incredibly talented composer, musician, and songwriter (nay, POET), and an extremely intelligent and down to earth guy. There are plenty of bands that are happy to write Viking songs about pillaging and glorious death in battle and all that (Alestorm comes to mind), those are a dime a dozen. Turisas makes history come to life in a way that transports you back in time and thrusts you into the living breathing world of the past. They deal with the horrors and tragedy of war from both sides, consequences and motivations, fears and pride and loss, home and family, despair and hope. They write songs about people, big and small, and their role in weaving the great tapestry of history. And the best part is that it’s informed - Mathias does his damn research and the tales he tells are rooted in fact. He brings them to life so we can experience what it must have been like for those real living people, with the goal of forcing us to confront our own selves in them. He’s a modern Homer, I shit you not. 
Did I mention there’s a song about pirates that’s actually really complex and nuanced, about how the hypocrisy and vile colonialist deeds of emperors makes them no different than the criminals they persecute?
Or that they do a badass cover of Rasputin?? yeah?????
Anyway enough gushing. Their second and third albums (The Varangian Way, Stand Up And Fight) are consecutive concept albums that follow the story of the Varangian Guard (the legendary Viking battalion that defended Alexander the Great) so the songs are actually chronologically linked to tell this epic tale. It’s a fucking listen, lads. The Varangian Way is probably my favorite album. But all their albums are top notch. 
My favorite songs: End of An Empire (this one comes for 2020 hard), Piece by Piece (AKA die fascists 2k20), Cursed Be Iron, Among Ancestors, Greek Fire, Miklagard Overture (you gotta earn this song tho, it’s the finale)
Good first listen picks/hits: Battle Metal, To Holmgard and Beyond, March of the Varangian Guard, Ten More Miles, One More
Finntroll. These other motherfuckers. My other boys.
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Another big name in the Finnish folk metal scene. As you can see, their band revolves both aesthetically and musically around Scandinavian troll folklore. Yall weird elf-fuckers who like the really big ears? Here you go. Look at those ears. They’re good friends with Turisas. Both love their facepaint.
Musical style leans much more towards black and death metal influenced, with a heavier, fuller sound and growling vocals. But it’s an incredibly rich and creative aural tapestry, with layers of masterfully executed sound that’s a real delight to lose yourself in. Use of fiddle, brass, keyboard, accordion, and banjo, and strong folk melodies make their sound unmistakable and unique. They are known for their ‘black humppa’ beat, which basically gives the effect of feeling the primal need to stomp around loudly to their music. It’s great cardio. They also utilize orchestra in some great intro tracks. They know their stuff.
The majority of their songs are sung in Swedish (they do some English cover songs which are FANTASTIC holy SHIT), but don’t let that stop you. The mood and power and emotion of their music transcend language, and you can be sure the lyrics are about either trolls, witches, the dark woods, spirits, or something of that ilk. I think Swedish as a language works very well with this kind of music, and honestly having it in English would lose something. 
They have been around a long time and so have many albums, but I personally have only listened to the last three which feature their current singer, Mathias Lillmåns, whom I adore. Those albums are Nifelvind, Blodsvept, and their recent release Vredesvävd (that i’ve had on repeat since I got it three weeks ago). I’m sure their other ones are great too, I just can’t make a personal recommendation since I haven’t heard them. 
My favorite songs: Galgasång, Tiden Utan Tid, Ylaren, Skogsdotter, Två Ormar, Ett Norrskensdåd, Skövlarens Död
Good first listen picks/hits: Forsen, Under Bergets Rot, Häxbrygd, Trollhammaren (older song), Solsagan
I’ll go through these other ones a little faster, I haven’t heard quite as much from them but I do love them.
Korpiklaani. 
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Great, full folk sound, utilizes a lot of folk instruments including some less commonly seen ones like hurdy gurdy. Songs are mostly in Finnish but plenty in English too. Jonne Järvelä has a really unique voice that grows on you, but it’s not for everyone. The band started as Sami folk, and Jonne is trained in Sami yoik singing, which makes an appearance in a few songs. I prefer the Finnish tracks, as a lot of the English ones are drinking songs lmao. But again, really well-executed music with layers of sound that keeps you hooked. I haven’t heard enough of their discography to really recommend enough to cover everything. 
Song picks: Minä Näin Vedessä Neidon, Metsälle, Ämmänhauta, Lempo
Moonsorrow.
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Definitely a darker, black-folk band. Probably not a great pick if you aren’t accustomed to black metal - very long tracks (8-15 mins is standard), growling/shrieking vocals, a ‘thinner’ but encompassing wall of sound usual of black metal, but with the benefit of wonderfully entrancing dark folk elements and chants. It’s done really really well. Sung almost entirely in Finnish (apart from cover tracks). Lyrically, focuses on themes of Norse mythology, man vs nature and similar elements. Definitely one of those bands whose music gets you into a zone. I can lose serious time just putting a whole album on and letting my mind wander elsewhere. My favorite album is Jumalten Aika. 
Song picks: Ruttolehto Sis. Päivättömän Päivän Kansa (my fucking FAVORITE), Suden Tunti (well known hit), and also uhh check out their cover of Non Serviam cause it’s a fucking banger
Other bands that I like what I’ve heard but really can’t say much about them, whoops - Tyr (from the Faroe Islands, great stuff, Faroese is a baller language), Ensiferum, Nightwish (female-led).... I’m open to suggestions. Like I said, there are folk metal bands all over the world, and each is intrinsically linked to a sense of place and cultural identity that makes them unique. I’d love to hear about more tbh. 
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saltfics · 4 years ago
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Villains AU: Hot Chocolate
For the RWRB Winterfest 2020. Day 2: Hot Chocolate.
Based on Playing His Game, a Hero/Villain AU. 
Nothing quite says truce like sharing hot chocolate and trying to distract the crowd from the fact that one of the cups is floating. 
(Full text below the cut)
AO3 link
He never realized how uncomfortable he is wearing his suit in public for no reason. Clearly, there’s a reason why he’s not the kind of over-glorified hero who participates in public appearances, aside from the fact that this city is not the kind to sanctify its heroes, or that Alex isn’t the most moral role model to begin with.  Even with the mask on his face, he feels like they can all see through him, and even though this spandex-looking fabric is the socially acceptable hero costume, he still feels super dumb wearing it.
And yet, after the hundredth post he saw of people hoping they would get to see some of the superheroes in the Christmas Market like they were a couple of fucking Santa Claus’ elves, and the thirty additional times Portal told him she wanted to go, Alex had caved to the request. Kid, however, wasn’t coming. As it turns out he always goes back to England for Christmas, so at least Alex has that going for him.
He lost Portal in the crowd within an hour. She keeps blinking in and out of places to make the kids whoop and laugh, so Alex has spent the past forty-something minutes strolling around by himself, nursing a cup of hot chocolate that’s barely even warm at this point. The Christmas Market is perfectly charming, all little wooden houses decorated with fake snow and tinsel and an absurd amount of fairy lights. The air smells of melted sugar and wine, and it makes him want to overspend on sickly sweet things he’s going to regret later. But as beautiful as it is, he would much rather spend an afternoon here with June and Nora, instead of wandering alone, and he can’t do that while he’s in costume even if he knows they’re somewhere there in the crowd.
He has just downed the last of his chocolate when a voice comes up behind him.
“Hello there.”
Alex yelps, earning confused glances and more than a few chuckles from people passing by. He turns around to find nothing but air and snow and a grinning old vendor in his booth too far away from him to have been the one talking. Frowning, Alex carefully stretches his hand out in front of him until his fingers brush against fabric.
“Take me out to dinner first,” the voice whispers, tangled in a soft laugh.
“I know that’s your stomach, you ass,” Alex scoffs, his own words just as quiet, speaking from the corner of his mouth so people don’t realize he’s talking. He turns back around so he can pretend to watch the people walking around the market but he keeps their shoulders close together to make sure the other is still there. “What are you doing here? I doubt they invited you.”
“I can’t enjoy some holiday cheer?”
“I guess,” he shrugs. “You’re not going to steal the gifts, are you?”
“Is that how you think of me? As a Grinch?”
Alex sighs. “Not really. If anything you’d be the kind of person who’d rob a toy multi-corporate that like, secretly donates to fascist organizations, and then just dump the toys here.” Figures it would be Alex to have an arch-nemesis too nice to actually stop so they can both play hopscotch with line of right and wrong like schoolchildren. “Was that your plan?”
Mirage chuckles, the sound sending a chill down Alex’s spine. “Not this year.”
“That’s almost a threat. Please tell me I won’t need to fight you during the holidays, Invisiboy. Come on, give me a break.” He’s joking for the most part but it would also be really fucking nice if his secret job could leave him alone for the season so he can feel like a normal person for once. Plus hiding his extracurriculars from his family is always draining in all the worst ways. As much as June helps, she cannot take away the worry in his mom’s eyes since that has burrowed there from the day they almost lost him, or rather the one they got him back, or the way she acts when Alex is being weird like she wonders if somehow he returned wrong.
He’s thought of showing her more than once. But he thinks she already knows. She’s seen the news segments, the time-line matches and Ellen Claremont is no fool. So as long as Alex withholds that confirmation from her, she can sleep a bit better, not knowing for certain what her son is doing after dark. Alex loses enough sleep for the both of them.
Mirage shifts against him, breaking him out of his thoughts. Alex could swear he’s moving closer. “Are you…?” He snorts. “Are you snuggling closer to me?”
“You’re like a human radiator—are those your powers?”
“Might be. Never thought about it. Honestly, I just thought I was warm because of the chocolate.”
“Oh, that would do the trick.”
Alex must have spent too much time with him if he can grasp the slight longing in his tone.
“If you’re that cold why don’t you just get some for yourself instead of cuddling with the guy who might try to kill you?” he asks, raising his brows towards what he hopes is Mirage’s general direction.
“You wouldn’t,” Mirage says but he does move away from him, and okay, thanks, he feels like an ass now. “I think people just might notice if there’s a cup of hot chocolate floating around. And like you said, I wasn’t invited. Heroes only.”
Alex could argue about this both in his favor and against it but the last thing he needs is to tell Mirage he’s nice to his face, more than he already does by not dragging his invisible ass to jail every time they meet. Instead he decides to do something that will work for both of them. “Tell you what. You tell me what you’re planning for the holiday season, and I’ll help you drink your chocolate.”
“Truly?”
“Scout’s honor.”
Mirage is quiet for a moment. His shoulders brushes against Alex’s again. “All right. You weren’t far off. Just… not here. The children’s hospital.”
Alex’s heart clenches. “Where are you taking them from?”
“Spitfire, why don’t you go on vacation next week?”
He tries to look at him again, squinting his eyes at the emptiness where his voice is coming from like he could catch a glimpse, a shadow of his figure. He has to be wearing his costume to be invisible in it but is his face bare? Would he finally see a hint of his features if Mirage let him? There’s nothing but fairy lights next to him but if he focuses enough he can just pick up the barest puff of a warm breath in the cold air.
Alex smiles despite himself. “I think I might.”
Mirage bumps their shoulders together in response.
“Okay, time for my end of the deal I guess. Wait here.”
He buys another cup of hot chocolate, insisting that he pays for it after the vendor gave him the first one free of charge ‘for his service’. If he’s going to be feeding super-villains he should do that out of his own pocket.
The hole in his plan reveals itself when he returns and he… can’t see where Mirage is. Of course he can’t. Fuck. There’s a couple taking photos in the spot where they were and even if he had perfect eyesight he would not be able to spot a little cloud of a breath with all these people around.
“This is what I get for being nice to you,” he mutters under his breath, as he goes to take a sip from the chocolate he’s apparently going to drink himself. Oh, yay, more sugar.
He jumps when someone steps lightly on his foot but as he looks around, no one is close enough to have hurt him.
There’s an extra pair of footsteps on the snow in front of him.
Alex fights back a laugh. “Hey, is snow your mortal enemy? When it snows do you have a little white pile floating around on the top of your head?”
“Did it truly take you three seconds to give up on me and try to steal my chocolate?”
“You should be the last person to lecture me about stealing. And I paid for it!” Alex can’t stop the grin from spreading on his face as Mirage laughs nearby. “Okay, are you ready? Wait for my cue.”
“What are you—”
 Ignoring him, he walks over to where most of the children have gathered. “Hey, kids! Do you want to see a magic trick?”
He thinks he hears Mirage groan somewhere behind him.
All the kids and a number of adults turn to him at his exclamation. He sees the recognition on their faces and he tries to focus only on those who seem happy to see him and not on the ones who would have him arrested if they could—he can see the distaste on their faces, so stark against the holiday cheer the surrounds this place. Once they realize he’s messing around, most of them turn back to their business but a couple of kids break off the mold and approach him, waiting with their big, curious eyes to see what he’ll do.
“Don’t get too excited now but I know one trick and I know it really well. You ready? I, Spitfire, hero extraordinaire, will make this cup”—he shows off the hot chocolate with the flair of a magician presenting his empty hat— “float in the air.”
Some children giggle in front of him. If Mirage bails on him now, Alex is going to kill him. “In three… two…” He feels Mirage’s fingers against his own around the cup. “… One!”
Alex lets it slip from his hands and though Mirage fumbles with it for a second, it looks like it’s floating. It stays in the air on its own then gets lifted towards what he can assume is Mirage’s mouth as Alex points at it with exaggerated movements.
He’s surprised Mirage doesn’t dump the whole thing on his head for the unnecessary drama.
With the kids still gathered, he decides to play some fire tricks as well, crudely-shaped birds born of flames like phoenixes flying around them, swirls and storms and whirlwinds in his hands, if only to redirect the attention from Mirage who must be trying to finish his drink in peace. Relative peace.
The combination of both ‘tricks’ leads to some confusion in the audience as the two spectacles  neither match in powers nor are they at all coordinated. The headlines in the morning might be more accusatory than usual if somebody notices the second pair of footsteps next to his. But he can hear Mirage laughing and he can see the children staring with open mouths and wide eyes in front of him, and maybe it’s fine if the media questions him once more.
He’ll even let Mirage do his thing next week too, if he wants to. Alex can always kick his ass after the holidays. Even supervillains deserve a gift after all, if they’re as nice as he is.
 @rwrb-fests 
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ambistep · 5 years ago
Text
We Can Make It Work
~4.2k words, stupid long, gratuitous gang plans, a real somft ending, i promise
Tags: retribution spoilers. cw - killing, guns, Argentstep, the gang!! not sure
Mina has session with Dr. Finch - it goes well this time. In fact, many things are going well lately! Also I wanted to write about the gang, and i always want to have argent stuff
---------
“You seem well - more confident. Happier?” Finch is smiling. Mina is smiling. This is good. “I wish I could take some credit but it’s been awhile since our last session. I thought you might not be coming back.”
Mina sinks back into the comfortable chair, “Sorry, I just have been really busy lately.”
~
“...I started a new project at work.”
A small sodium work lamp illuminates the workbench and the corkboard on the wall before it. Neat files of illicit records and stacks of purloined documents, a laptop aglow with… research, photos, stock news, articles. Mina’s nimble fingers spear a set of blueprints to the board.
It was a trickle at first - but with time, the board had grown very crowded indeed, a tangled rat’s nest of ties, connections and data points. The squeaking chorus nearby liked it when she thought of it as such. 
Vanderpoel had talked to Ochoa about the congressional aide who handled the senator’s dirty laundry - Mina had been monitoring Mia. The aide was careful, but simply didn’t have the security of his boss. His mind had been an oily, porous sick sort of place, riddled with compromise and low cunning - it yielded readily before Clarity. A swift crack, and all kinds of goodies spilled out, enough that sifting through it had become difficult. Now, though, now she had the names necessary to get started.
~
“I’ve been trying to be better about working as part of the team.”
 The warehouse was dusty, filled with forgotten pieces of abandoned start-ups or rarely used equipment, the space leased by a firm with little memory of it - Mina had made certain it was forgotten. A flash young gun in a slick suit is chattering about gear specs with a slightly older Modded muscle who is dutifully ignoring him while trying to unpack and assemble gear with their clawed prosthetic. Another modded fellow lounges on the sofa, pouring over a flight manual.
Across the way, an odd pair, a rough, heavily-modded soldier and a grinning young girl who seems like she might have walked off campus at UCLD are listening intently, studying floor plans. All authority in the room flows from the scarred, severe woman laying out her plan point by point.
   “...ZaZa sits tight on overwatch, Boris stays put at the helipad. Rest of us sweep the executive level, and split into pairs. Pelayo, you’re with Nehal, while Ward and -” She pauses, hearing the question form in Pelayo’s mind, “while Ward and I secure the target.”
“The kid can back you with the target, no? How much back-up you need in that suit, boss?” Pelayo brushes his knuckles over his stubble, a nervous tic.
Smoothly, softly, Mina shuts down Pelayo’s concern, “You need to cover Nehal while she makes sure we only set off the alarms we want to go off, and then you need to be there to place our parting gift. Ward will be fine with me, I’ve got their back. Are we clear?” 
Pelayo hesitates, measuring his unwillingness to separate from Ward versus testing the boss. It was a good job - Clarity pays well and on time, gives them plenty of prep time. And most importantly in this city, she seems mostly sane. Looked a little young, but she didn’t get those scars playing tennis, and the plans were solid, smart. So if she said Ward went up and he went down... “Ay, we clear.”
Clarity looks him dead on. That ‘this isn’t going to be a problem?’ look. He knows it.
Pelayo nods, “Don’t worry about it.”
Nehal, surreptitiously studying the utility plans, in utter enchantment, “I think, on some level, I always wanted to be an arsonist.” 
~
“...I’ve been going out a bit more.”
Ward didn’t quite understand how Clarity’s trick worked, but watching the grey cloud slowly eat through the vaulted security door to the executive suite was a treat. Nehal had made sure to cut off communications from the CEO’s office - and the target had predictably locked down his suite.
What they hadn’t expected was a Modded security officer waiting for them.
Clarity steps through the hole that was a steel-reinforced door, imperious dark armor and gleaming face mask emerging wreathed in the nanovores’ smoky cloud. The vocal distorters don’t conceal her amusement, “Could it be? The Grey Guardsman? No longer cutting taxes, I see.” Shielded. So that’s why she hadn’t sussed out his presence in advance.
The corporate hero draws his signature carbon-steel longsword, squaring off - making a good show of confidence, pointing his blade, “And I recognize you, villain - I may no longer serve TaxTech, but we still do a swift trade in justice here at Promethean.” 
Clarity coolly wraps an armored gauntlet around the blade. The Rat-King gleefully guides them as they chew apart the weapon, and Mina sighs behind her mask. She always really liked that sword. “Stand aside, Guardsman. This scum isn’t worth fighting for.” 
Sure, he’s a company stooge, but Charge had introduced him to Sidestep, and it hurts to admit, but… maybe some part of Mina would regret crushing him too badly. A reminder of a more innocent time. 
Enough to distract her from the fact that he’s still coming - his ambitious, ridiculous plan of punching her thwarted by Ward’s iron grip around his wrist. Clarity’s lapse in conviction is rectified - a solid blow to the head from her armored gauntlet and Ward drops him to the floor. 
She sighs, and nods her head in gratitude to Ward. That should leave only the target in the office proper. A heavy book is enough kick through the ordinary door. A portly older fellow sits still in his chair, trying to appear unafraid, trying to hold his composure. “Wh-what is it that you want? I am prepared to c-cooperate.”
A VIP, a defense contractor, someone with his security clearance would have some training to resist telepathic interrogation - enough to maybe stop Sidestep. Not so for Clarity, but still maybe enough to slow down the process, complicate things. “Ward, sedative.” The man yelps as she reaches across the desk to grab him.
“Got it, Boss.” Ward’s surprisingly deft with the needle. The suit makes pinning him to the desk a trivial thing, and the injection goes in just as easily.
“Now, then. I’m not to be disturbed.” Ward takes the order and leaves Clarity to her prey. The quivering executive yields easily, meager protections cracking like safety glass under the first real pressure. 
Clarity is rewarded - almost immediately. He knew why they were here. He knew immediately exactly which part of Promethean’s many contracts had brought Clarity here. A dry Nevada desert. Security clearances and classified paperwork. Contracts with no questions asked. A service for his country. It made him feel good to be a patriot - that is what she discovers. It makes her feel… something else entirely. Seething, black, bloody --
“Oh, shit, is he dead, boss?” Ward sneaks a look into the office. Mina recoils immediately from the man - blood runs from his nose and… not dead yet, a stroke, maybe. She can feel the trickle of his mind, faint, pooling out. Fine - better than what he deserved. She’d planned to wipe his memory and cover her intrusion but a stroke worked just as well.
“We’re leaving.” Clarity stalks out of the office, opening a channel for the rest of the team, “I have what we came for. Exit team?”
The office fills with sirens and red lights, Nehal’s voice in her helmet, “Oh, we’re good.” 
“Then we’re done.”
A whining voice cuts over the radio, “I didn’t even get to shoot anything.”
“Next time.”
~
“I feel like the job really gives me a chance to express myself.”
“And you’re getting along with your co-workers? I know you were worried about your social anxiety.”
“I think we understand each other.”
“Shh, guys!” Nehal fumbles for the remote to turning up the volume on the television. Pelayo and Ward are still stripping down and checking the gear. Boris, ZaZa, they share beers, but Clarity - unarmored - settles down to sit on the floor next to the girl.
“...Veronica Sandoval, live from downtown, where responders are still battling a two alarm fire at an office building. Now, authorities aren’t saying what caused the fire but I can tell you two that two patients were taken to city hospitals with non-life threatening injuries. The building is the headquarters of Promethean, which is described on it’s website as a medical device and biotech company, and a defense contractor. A spokesman with the fire depart…”
“Show it, show it, yes!” Nehal laughs triumphantly as the camera cuts to footage from a news helicopter, showing the fully-engulfed front face of the building lighting up the nightline of downtown Los Diablos. “Fucking fascists. Clar, look.” She grabs the boss’s shoulder then suddenly recoils.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, I jus-” The boss didn’t like to be touched.
Clarity keeps her face tight, and just nods, “It’s good, don’t worry about it.” She leans back, trying not to brush off the spot where Nehal’s hand had landed, “Glad you had fun - next job is going to be harder - but a bigger score.”
That gets everyone’s attention. Pelayo and Ward, consummate professionals, gather up. “You got the next job lined up already?”
“Almost. Preparation will take some time - I’ll be in touch. Payment will find you like usual.” 
That’s good enough for Ward and Pelayo, they’re veterans, professionals, used to this stuff. ZaZa always liked the money but hated authority almost as much, and relished any chance to shoot his guns off. Nehal liked Clarity’s politics and… had some sort of admiration for the boss. Mina makes a note to curtail that - nobody should be looking up to her, for God’s sake. Boris just liked the steady pay - everyone seemed much nicer than the Wolfpack, anyway.
~
“We talked about wearing masks last time. How they can be useful for letting us function in social or workplace environments, but they can also be used to keep people away, to isolate. How are you doing with masks, Mina?”
“Still using masks, I’ll admit. But I did take your advice about getting out of the city for a little bit.”
“Shit, it’s hot. Fucking Mojave.” He wipes his brow, wicking away the sweat.
“Focus, ZaZa.” The boss’s voice reassures him in his earpiece. For some reason, her voice always seemed to calm his nerves. Lady was creepy like that. 
ZaZa tapped at the relay device, shielding the small monitor from the sun’s glare and flicking between cameras,  “Visual on target. Right on schedule.”
A massive, heavily armored tractor trailer, unlabeled, barrels down Interstate 40. On either side, two black SUVs bearing out-of-state license plates. Clarity tried to zoom in the image on her helmet’s HUD. At the bottom of the plate, curly black text reminds her ‘HOME MEANS NEVADA.’ The thought makes her queasy. And violent. Maybe that’s good. Maybe she needs that push.
“Remember. Stick to the plan, watch out for each other. They’ll be contractors, ex-military but the kind who take it seriously. Maybe with mods. They will kill on sight. And we have to be fast.” If she is right, and she knows she must be at this point, then there would be a response - even out here in the Mojave. “Masks up. Time starts at contact.”
In the back of the van with the boss, Pelayo and Ward slip down the sleek silvery facemasks Mortum had prepared for the team - not as robust or tricked out as Clarity’s, but more on par with… well, with Sidestep’s. Up front, Nehal’s already had hers on - she’d hardly taken it off. 
The masks are important - Mina knows. It puts distance between the person and the world in front of them, lets you detach from violence, from danger, emboldens you. It lets you invent someone who can do the things you need to do, to become someone who can survive. She’d put on a mask to become Clarity. A mask to become Sidestep. ...a mask to become Mina. 
Boris’s voice crackles over the comms, “Boss… Boss. I got visual. ZaZa, don’t god damn miss.”
He sounds nervous - this is a bit more than he signed up for. Clarity eases back into her seat, reaching out, fingers in five minds, familiar minds. Nothing aggressive, no pushing - you touch too much and they might stiffen up or stop trusting their instincts. Only the lightest, caressing touches, gentle nudges. 
She has to admit, she loves this part, feels born to it. She’d learned that with the Wolfpack - nothing felt so pleasant as coaxing her crew along towards victory, allaying their fears and… coordinating. Boris’s anxiety is sweltering, Nehal has uncomfortably little anxiety - the girl is… special. Ward, too, isn’t so certain. Clarity turns to look at Ward, looking past the facemask, and then speaks to Boris, “Easy, we trained for this. Your truck is reinforced. Take cover below the dash when you make contact. We’re professionals.”
“Y-Yeah.”
“Relax, man, I don’t miss.” He’s almost as good as he thinks he is. 
Nehal guns it, pedal to the floor, gaining on the convoy in front of her, empty desert tracking past.
Boris’s tractor trailer heads down the highway westbound, staring down the convoy. He accelerates and… swerves into the oncoming lane. The lead driver reacts but not fast enough. 
The eighteen-wheeler plows into the black SUV with a tortured symphony of wailing metal, crunching glass and scraping on pavement. 
It would almost be hard for anyone to even notice the thunderous boom of the anti-material rifle punching into the engine block of the convoy’s transport. Even as it plows into the back of the SUV in front of it, the shots keep coming, again, and again, and again. 
The back of the escort pulls up alongside the convoy and brakes, scrambling, deploying, trying to find cover. And Nehal comes in ready, swinging the van sideways. Pelayo, Ward, they toss the smoke grenades and take positions behind the van. Nehal ducks down for cover in the driver’s seat, clutching her machine pistol.
And then it is the boss’s show. The van raises up as the bulk of Clarity’s armor sets foot on the highway. There is a burst and clatter of small arms fire - striking the van, some even striking her - but she simply walks into it, embracing the attention. Their thoughts are frantic, aggressive - more of them are holed up in the transport with the cargo. Someone is calling for backup, notifying command - she stops in place and squeezes this mind, even through the ratatatat plinking. Stop. Now. Squeezing. Breaking this mind.
No need for too much delicacy - this is the enemy.
The one she had been waiting to strike at for so long. Not these men and women, but… everything they serve. That should be enough - it’s still harder than she’d thought, using her powers this way. Not entirely true - it is easy, really. Frighteningly easy. But it feels hard for Mina. 
That’s why she has on Clarity’s mask.
The gunfire stops - someone… Oh someone has a plan. One of the soldiers is retrieving heavy ordinance, she can feel the thoughts, the plans. “Pelayo.” Some mental guidance, and he turns out of cover and brings down the would-be hero with deft fire from his rifle.
The Rat-Kings continue to help Clarity guide all focus towards her, all aim toward her, soaking up all this attention, though they care none too much for the noise, chittering in a right good panic. 
“Advance.” Ward comes out from cover, then Pelayo, picking off aggressors. Now and again, another boom from ZaZa in the distance when he finds a shot - sometimes even when he doesn’t. 
“Breach.” There’s still two holed up in the transport, their thoughts easy to sniff - patient, trained. Weirdly confident, that’s unnerv-
“Boss! Ward’s hit!” Clarity turns her head. How had she not noticed? Ah, Ward had barely noticed themselves. 
“I’m good, we’re good.” Ward is always good - undersells everything. Pelayo’s still worried, but a quick check and Clarity is sure Ward is telling the truth. 
“No heroics - cover our backs. Focus.” A quick nudge to keep everyone on mission. On mission - that notion… again makes Mina queasy. Her handler’s voice, she talked about… staying on mission. Clarity helps her push past the discomfort. “Breaching.” 
As Clarity prepares to ready the nanovores to crack open the transport, the tailgate volunteers itself, swinging wide. There’s no time to react to the small explosive that impacts - only strong enough to cause her to stumble, thank you once again, Mortum. 
Two gleaming, power-suited soldiers climb out of the truck, and Clarity almost has to laugh. Two hundred miles from Los Diablos, and she still finds two tin discount imitations of Marshal Steel. 
“ZaZa.” 
Another blast of thunder and one suit drops. The other starts to react, but the distraction is more than enough to open a wide hole in their thoughts - Clarity psychically punctures what light mental preparation he had and buries a shiv in his mind.
And like that, the highway is quiet. 
Pelayo checks the first escort, giving a clear. Boris chimes in with the next. Nobody else is getting up. Ward and Nehal follow Clarity to the truck and begin to unload the cargo.
Another mental nudge for the team - keep everything quick, everything snappy. Clarity runs through the plan - they don’t need the reminders, but she has to say something, keep the adrenaline up so she doesn’t think about… consequences. “Pack it up, ZaZa. Boris will pick you up. The rest of you, we’re taking it all, strip it down and clean it enroute.”
Every moment they aren’t talking, all she can hear is her heart. This is them, these are… This really is them. It is terrifying, crushingly horrifying, every part of her wants to scream, run. They will be coming, this was a mistake, how could she have been so ridiculous? Hitting them like some jewel heist, with a gang of robbers? All her thoughts are that they will find her and kill her. That there’s a team from the Special Directive in the air right now, ready to deploy. 
It could even be true.
“Clar? Clarity?”
Nehal waves a hand in front of her mask, her own silver mask tilted in concern, “Boss, time to go.” 
And so it is. 
It isn’t until they’re on the road, off the interstate, and all the cargo is clean that panic finishes bleeding through her system, that Clarity clicks and removes her helmet. Had they really done it? Had she… Could she have really drawn blood from the people who made her and lived?
“Can’t believe it, right? Imperialists, highway robbery with government spooks.” Nehal glances over to the passenger seat and holds out a candy bar, a smirk glued on her face - at least she’s taken off her mask.
Clarity peers at the young girl, graciously accepting the candy. She takes a small bite, “You’re a really weird kid, Nehal.” Looking over her shoulder to the back of the van, “How’s Ward?”
Pelayo still looks a little nervous - she’s always surprised by how worried that man can look, “They’re good.”
Ward gives a nod, “One got through on the leg, just grazed. Be healed by morning.” Clarity frowns, but seems satisfied with this.
Two hours, and well on their way to the detour in Old Fresno - when ZaZa and Boris sent their all clear… That’s when Mina can finally, fully feel satisfied that there’s no team of branded monsters - monsters like herself - stalking them, no ghostly assassins. Maybe this really was a victory - maybe they really pulled it off. Had she overestimated them? No, she had cautiously estimated them, she chides herself. She didn’t make it this far without being careful.
“How did that go, travelling?”
“Better than I expected - I was still really nervous, the whole time.”
~
“When we last met, you were telling me you had been seeing someone?”
“Did I say that?”
“You did. Getting sloppy?”
“...Must have slipped out.”
“Did you want to talk about it?”
“...Well. It’s been going well. I got her a gift the other day. While I was out of town. The perfect thing.”
“Did she like it?”
“I haven’t shown her yet. But I know she will.”
“Why’d I have to come all the way out here? Is this where you keep your smelly little lair?” Ximena wrinkles her nose, standing out in the open lot, kicking at dirt idly.
“Oh please. Like I’d take my girlfriend to my secret lair.” Mina smirks - being with her always brings out the best. Crouching down, she brushes away some dirt and pops a key into a padlock and yanks open a rusty metal cellar door.
She scoffs, “Padlock, huh.” Mina grins smugly, leading the silvery heroine further down below. 
“For the record, my lair smells like flowers.”
“Ooo. Is that a clue?” She pokes Mina in her smug little nose
“Maybe. Come on, this way.” She grabs Ximena’s hand, tugging her along, getting far too excited.
The whole place looks like nobody’s been there in years, but that’s part of the charm - Mina’d been here just this morning. A false wood panel in a support beam yields a keypad. Playfully shielding the pad from Ximena’s eyes, Mina punches in the code, allowing a false wall to slide open.
“Just for the record, I knew that was there.” Ah, right. All those neat little extra senses she had.
“Well, thank you for humoring me. I wanted to put on a little show.” Mina leans, taking both of her hands, and squeezes them, leading her slowly into the small storage vault.
“What is this?” Ximena’s voice lowers a little, eyeing the gunmetal grey case resting on a table in the middle of the room. The name ‘PROMETHEAN’ stamped on front. There’d been more boxes, with different bits of technology or equipment, rare, valuable. Some she’d given to the good doctor Mortum to play with. The rest she’d sold to Hollow Ground at a considerable discount - a show of good faith. Clarity had been all too happy to let Mr. Manalo take it all off her hands - and the payment was still more than enough to keep the crew happy. 
Now there was just this one case.
“The lock was a little tricky…” Mina is radiant, glowing with pride as she places her thumb on the fingerprint scanner. A soft ding and a green light unlocks the case. “...really, anyone can open it now that I broke the lock... My fingers don’t actually have any prints anyway.” She holds up her hands and wiggles her fingers for emphasis.
Ximena smirks, locking her left hand with Mina’s. “I like them.” She leans in and kisses a digit lightly, “Just.” A kiss. “The way.” A kiss. “They are.” And a kiss. Mina’s smile fixes in place, cheeks flushed red, her thoughts going all kinds of places then crashing, brain shutting down - until Ximena’s snorting laugh helps her recover. “So, what’s in the box?”
“A present.” 
Popping the case open slowly, there is a hiss of frosty, chilled air spilling out into the heat of the dry basement. The interior of the lid is labeled with serial numbers and barcodes - uncomfortably familiar barcodes, if Mina allowed herself to think about it. She most notably does not allow herself to think about it. Not now. She watches Ximena’s gleaming face, waiting for that moment of recognition. 
Chilled and lit by a sinister - to Mina’s reckoning - orange light, clasped in the middle of the case, three processing chips, a solid state storage device, a handful of cellulose wetware chips and the jewel, the real prize.
“How did you..?”
“Don’t ask. I told you I’d find one.” 
An innocent enough looking device. Inscrutable to almost anyone else - but not to Mina. Not to Ximena. A particular, specific protein printer, and all the pieces needed to make it work. The kind of thing that would look nestled right at home in the heart of a certain regenerator prototype. 
“I promised I would,” Mina’s voice shakes, unsteady. A lump welling in her throat as she sees the recognition, the relief on Ximena’s face. All that this means. For either of them. For both of them. All that it could mean. Infinite things. Anything. Everything.
She pulls Mina in too hard, arms around tight, squeezing, “You think we can make it work?” It’s her turn, even her voice gets weak. 
Mina sniffs, feeling her control slipping, her mask pulled down, and a tear runs down her cheek as she buries her head into Ximena’s shoulder, leaning into the hug. She tries to speak but it is hard to put any strength in her voice, “...yeah, we can make it work.”
They hold tight, hungry for two whole lives of affection, and touch, and tenderness. Starving for intimacy that had been out of reach, once for all time. Now… Now within reach. Ximena asks it again, “We can make it work?”
Mina had told her. Told her weeks ago. About the machine. About their relationship. About their whole lives. 
The answer was the same. 
“We can make it work.” 
This time, she even believes it herself.
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jorrmungandr · 6 years ago
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Aesthetics and Evil
So, I’ve been thinking about something lately. It’s a bit hard to explain, having to do with a lot of sort of vague concepts that I am not particularly educated on. But I will endeavor to be as clear as possible.
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This has to do with how evil is presented in fiction, and in media in general. Bad guys, acts of cruelty and violence, and those who perpetrate it. The power of aesthetics to shape the way that people view the world around them. The morality of using the finely honed skills of modern artists to push an ideological agenda, and what effect that can have even, and especially, when it’s unintentional.
I think that fiction warps the way people perceive the world, and makes them reach for easy, aesthetically-oriented answers instead of actually engaging with ideas. This isn’t to say that people are lazy, but the world is complicated and loud, and they’re going to take shortcuts whenever possible. It’s only human.
But that’s a bit heavy and dense. Let’s start with something simple: The Picture of Dorian Gray.
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In this famous novel by Oscar Wilde, a young dandy has his portrait painted by a friend. He becomes obsessed with the idea of not growing old, but more importantly not having his appearance blemished by any sins he may commit in his life. And lo, a miracle happens and it comes true, the painting suffers the effects of his misdeeds, and ages in his stead.
In modern interpretations, it is often simplified into the painting aging while he remains young. But it is a big point in the original that for every horrible thing Dorian does, the painting is altered in some way. The idea being that the evil in his heart is externalized more and more as he indulges in it.
When I saw a stage version of this story at the Book-It theater last year, this really stuck out to me, because that’s not actually how it works, in real life. You can’t see a “curl of cruelty” on someone’s lip. Immorality is not necessarily externalized, and even in the modern media climate we have to learn this lesson over and over again. Bill Cosby didn’t get uglier every time he assaulted an unconscious victim. Louis CK didn’t have a shine of cruelty in his eyes even as he continued to victimize women. Evil thoughts and actions do not have an effect on appearance, actually.
Who do we have to keep learning this lesson? What is the cause of this cultural amnesia? We expect evil people to announce themselves through their aesthetics as well as their actions, because that’s the way it works in basically all fiction, everywhere.
Stories are crafted, by human hands and minds. They don’t spring fully-formed from the aether, people think about what they’re making, and the put a lot of work into it. There are all sorts of techniques of various sorts used to imply things subtly, to clue the audience in without saying it outright. The use of colors, shapes, tones, staging, camera direction, all sorts of different things, combine into what I refer to under the broad umbrella of “aesthetics”. This is what I mean when I say that “evil” is usually accompanied by appropriate aesthetics.
So, when you spend your whole life seeing this presented to you in media, that evil always warps the world around it to be presented a certain way, why, it’s only natural that you actually think that way. When you’re taught something, so universally if subtly, it can only affect the way you think!
This isn’t to say that this is universal, or absolute. I absolutely do not mean to say such a thing. It varies from person to person, and even then there’s the matter of taste, which is in fact the most dangerous and troublesome thing of all.
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You see, the intentions of artists don’t really amount to a hill of beans when it comes to interpretation by the audience. When I was a kid, watchin’ cartoons and movies, I often sympathized with the villains because they were more interesting, visually and conceptually.
Let’s use a concrete example: I love the aesthetic of the Republic of Zeon in the Universal Century series of Gundam media. They’ve got the cooler-looking giant robots. They have cool uniforms. I like the idea of a group of space colonies declaring and fighting for their independence from Earth.
Also, Zeon is fascistic and unimaginably monstrous, according to the fiction of the series. But that almost all plays out off-screen. In the lead-up to the original Mobile Suit Gundam, one third of humanity is killed in a variety of atrocities committed by Zeon. Their leaders are horrible, power-grubbing monsters who fall to infighting, but they’re characters and they’re interesting. So, despite all that, I still like them.
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Now, I happen to be aware of all this extra backstory, but there are an awful lot of fans of Zeon among the fans of Gundam, who are in it purely for the aesthetics of the robots and whatnot. There’s a lot of Zeon merchandise. There’s a lot of sympathy for these horrible fascists, who keep coming back and losing over and over again.
This kind of appreciation can start out as ironic, and morph into something more sincere with repetition and time. Or with the intervention of just the right kind of charismatic individuals. The appreciation for this kind of aesthetic is easy to co-opt, especially since it’s based on fascistic regimes in the first place!
The problem is that people will engage more with aesthetics than ideas, because media presents aesthetics as a shortcut to ideas. But it’s all open to interpretation, and people aren’t always going to take everything seriously.
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This all goes back to an idea I’ve had rattling around in my head for ages, and I’m not sure exactly where it came from. A lot of different places, I suppose. But it’s this: it’s impossible for evil people to create good art. Anything they make is ugly. All art produced by Nazi Germany, for example, is actually ugly, because it’s promoting fascism and genocide and whatnot.
But that’s just not true. That’s sticking your head in the sand, and saying that the sky is green. It’s putting ideas ahead of aesthetics, which is all well and good when you’re talking hypothetically and engaging only with ideas, but in reality it falls completely flat.
Look, I’m not comin’ out here going to bat for fascists and murderers and rapists, saying you should give their art a chance. What I’m saying is aesthetics have no inherent ideology. Using aesthetics is just a skill, like any other. You wouldn’t say that a plumber must be bad at his job because he’s a racist. The evil of great art and artists isn’t something that’s just for you, personally, to confront, but to consider in a wider, societal context.
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You can say that fascism is inherently ugly ‘til the cows come home, but I will still look at the fight between Norris Packard and the 08th MS Team and think he looks super fucking cool. If you teach people to rely on aesthetics for hints towards ideology, they will do it.
All I’m saying is... be aware of it.
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themattress · 6 years ago
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My Top 11 Least Favorite MCU Characters (Infinity Saga)
11. Pietro Maximoff - I don’t dislike Pietro, but he failed to leave much of an impact on me in the one film he had a big role in. He just didn’t click with me the same way that Wanda did. Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s Eastern European accent is laughable, he’s not as impressive as the version of the character Evan Peters plays in the X-Men movies, and his death seemed like it was there just for the sake of having a major death in the film - afterward, he isn’t really spoken of again in any of the other films, not even by Wanda or Clint! He’s just kinda lame.
10. The Ancient One - Look, I love Tilda Swinton, but changing this character from an elderly Asian man to a young white woman who is still slated to die in order to advance the male hero’s story is all kinds of sketchy. Also, she’s a major hypocrite. So I can’t say I’m a fan.
9. Valkyrie - Take away Tessa Thompson’s charismatic performance and you’re left with a nonsensical, badly-written mess of a character who sends several unfortunate implications and is so transparently a weak-ass replacement for Sif. She doesn’t even have a name!
8. Flash Thompson - OK, I commend them for trying something different from the jock bully archetype for this version of Flash...but a “mathlete”? Who calls Peter “Penis Parker”!? What’s worse, the acting and writing does him no favors: this little twerp seems more like the kind of person who’d be bullied. Peter could probably take him even without his powers!
7. W'Kabi - So T’Challa fails to bring back W’Kabi’s parents’ murderer (through no fault of his own, I might add), then Killmonger does, and that’s enough for this asshole to betray his best friend and pledge loyalty to a clearly unstable guy? How petty can you get? Fuck W’Kabi!
6. Korg - Not only is this a complete misrepresentation of the character from the comics, which is jettisoned in favor of Taika Waititi playing himself as a big golem alien, but he just keeps getting less and less funny as the movie goes on because he ruins scenes that should be dramatic, including the fucking destruction of Asgard! He’s the MCU’s Jar Jar Binks!
5. Senator Stern - I really hate these kind of political strawman characters who only exist to obstruct the heroes, and this is a particularly obnoxious example. The only saving grace was the later revelation that he was a HYDRA operative, so now you hate him for better reasons.
4. Thaddeus E. “Thunderbolt” Ross - Another political strawman type, but in this case it’s even worse because Ross was a pre-established character before taking on this role! He was never particularly likable, but why bring him back at all only to make him that much worse?
3. Odin - The Allfather’s character just degraded further and further with each passing appearance. At first, it looked like the emotional abuse he was putting his sons through was because he was being misguided and foolish, but not malicious. But then in The Dark World, he did become malicious, serving as more of a brutal antagonist to Thor than either Loki or Malekith ever could. Finally in Ragnarok, he was posthumously revealed to have been a genocidal, imperialistic madman who covered it all up, including the existence of his equally vile daughter, which obliterates any moral highground he previously tried to claim. And yet he totally gets off scot-free and is apparently still to be revered? Fuck that, and fuck Odin too!
2. Carol Danvers - This version of Captain Marvel is a boring character who is painfully shoehorned in to the end of the Infinity Saga when she clearly has no business being there. It’s a shame since Brie Larson does actually look the part, but the stiff direction she’s given does her no favors. Despite this, she is not the worst character to come out of that film...
1. The Skrulls - Why? What was Marvel thinking here? The dastardly Skrulls, who are famous in the comics for their villainous shape-shifting antics, are turned into an innocent group of intergalactic refugees who are being oppressed by those fascist Kree. Rumor has it that an adaptation of Secret Invasion still may happen in the MCU, but how is that going to make any sense given that they derailed the Skrulls’ whole characters just to score woke political points? And for that matter, the Skrulls showing up in the 90s totally retcons the point made in The Avengers that it was the Asgardians in Thor that first alerted S.H.I.E.L.D to there being powerful alien life out there. Nothing about these guys work, and I hate them for it.
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theamazingcaptdeadpool · 7 years ago
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That One Time Shit Went From Bad To Worse
Summary: The past downright sucks when it catches up.  Pairing: Silverpool (Wade Wilson x Pietro Maximoff)  Warnings: Explicit language, mentions of torture, mentions of abuse, narrowminded shithead army fuck, injuries, this might turn into a RP thing which does not ever have to be matched in length.  Word Count: 1648
Wade was heading home – he’d spent the evening at Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children. It had (eventually) been a fun night, though it took him some time to get back into his game, mainly because he missed Pietro. He’d shot some pool, thrown knives (instead of darts) and won, arm wrestled some bikers, shared some of his latest adventures and mishaps – and more importantly, caught up with Weasel. As he said bye to the guys at the door everyone seemed to be in good spirits, telling him not to forget them, come back soon, bring the Silvery guy. It made him smile; how easy it was to jump back into his old lifestyle.
Wade cut through a back alley. It was faster, besides, he wasn’t afraid that anyone would jump him. I’m friggin Deadpool after all. I can hold my own. It was dark, he could hardly see the contours of the trash bins and flattened cardboard boxes that told tales of hobos and junkies. They’d be off the street at night, though. Dark shadows moved between them. Rats or cats most likely. The street lights were like small glowing dots far up ahead – it gave him the whole “light at the end of your tunnel” feeling – though he was pretty sure there was no light at the end of his. Hell, I won’t even get to do the tunnel. I can’t die. He huffed to himself.
Somewhere someone hummed an all too familiar tune. At first he thought it came from one of the apartments above him. It floated in and out of the noises of the city, but grew more solid as he walked forward. It’s tones were in minor, sad but oddly comforting. How they moved up and down felt like being rocked back and forth, safe in someone’s embrace. Maybe because that’s what he tied to them. The melody drew him to a place he thought he’d left behind ages ago. Wade froze and listened. The hum broke into song with actual words – and it became painfully evident that it wasn’t performed by the one he expected to hear it from. Even he noticed that it was accented; not native Ukrainian. The tiny hope he had that Pietro had sought him out was ripped away from him.
“That does not belong to you,” Wade spoke to the street lights up ahead, as he glanced around. He couldn’t actually see anyone… Could he? “No? I don’t think it’s yours either.” the voice was raspy, as if they’ve had too much whiskey, which wasn’t too far from the truth. He instantly recognised the owner of it. “You’re still alive, eh? I thought you drowned yourself in a barrel of Jack.” Wade muttered, still trying to figure out where he was hidden. “Why don’t you come out and play. Did you bring your tasers this time? I love that electric tingle.” Wade went for his gun and realised far too late that he wasn’t carrying. Shit. Well, the throwing knives would have to do. Wade reached under his jacket – finding that most of them had been left in the target back at the bar. Fuck. That’s unfortunate. Fists it is, then. Ladies and gents. I give you Lieutenant Trevor Blake. A tall guy. Buzz cut. Grey eyes – to match his soul. Broad shoulders and slim waist; used to lift a lot. Intimidating. The kind of man you’re silent around. That instils fear and/or respect in people. Old Trev was a friend of my father’s. They served together. Were practically bros. When I enlisted - he was the guy to make sure I got kicked down. Not that I didn’t deserve it, but that fucker seemed to enjoy taking the crap out of me as much as my father had. Maybe he held me responsible for his death… Hell do I care. Shortly after I left the military to start my mercenary business, he got kicked out too. Unruly conduct with the soldiers, they said. Drunk at the job, too. Dealing with shit from the pasts. Screams of victims, gunshot echoes. He got what he deserved. If he wasn’t such a miserable fuck a veteran, I would have taken him out myself. For free. I thought he died. How wrong was I? After I signed up for Weapons-X he turned up like the fucking pest he is. Stryker must have pulled him clean out of AA, given him the green suit and patched the stars back on him. They probably share the same fascist mind set. I don’t want to talk to him long enough to find out. Our very last encounter had him trying to get me to pass out and giving me verbal hell at the same time – and I was mouthing off. It turned ugly. Let’s say he hit a nerve, I broke free from my restraints. Beat him raw and bloody. Got knocked out of course. Punished. I never saw him again. My guess is his pride took a hit for the worse… Or maybe I actually got him hospitalised. At least I made sure no one else would suffer him.  
Trevor chuckled darkly as he appeared from the darkness, nothing more than a silhouette in front of him. A fucking ghost from his past. He hummed some of the tune to taunt him more before he spoke; “It was a cute song you homos shared back there.” Wade’s jaw clenched. “Yeah? Are you jealous Trev? Too bad I never was into the old abusive shits huh?”   “And I never was into the scarred freaks. How you holdin’ up, boy?” The last word was condescending. It took all of Wade’s effort not to cringe, not to remember all those times he’d said it like that – with the physical upper hand. “Far better than you, lieutenant mc-drunk face.” Wade pulled out one of his knives. The streetlights betrayed him – and it glittered in the darkness. “I see your insults haven’t gotten any better.” Trevor pressed. “Tell me – what are you doing with that mutant, huh? If your father knew…” “How was it you worded it? Homo? Yeah. I’m totally gay for that guy.” Which wasn’t a lie. His chest swelled with love whenever he talked of Pietro, and he knew it stung the old man. “And my father is dead.” He added coldly, and flipped the knife before he sent it flying. Trevor was experienced, and despite his age he hadn’t slowed – so he was able to deflect it. Wade felt the knife belt. He had one more. Be careful now. “Thank god. To think of how he’d feel, knowing what you’ve become.” Trevor spat. “I don’t give a rats ass about either one of you. But hey, since you care so much about him – how about you join him?” Wade tried not to let the anger he felt colour his voice. “You’re gonna take me out, boy?” he laughed. Wade’s blood boiled. He drew a deep breath, to keep focus.
Several things happened at once, once he let go of that knife. He felt a jabbing pain to his neck. He heard Trevor grunt. Someone kicked him behind the knee and clawed at his shoulders. The next thing he knew, he was facing the smog of the city, groaning. His head was spinning. He tried to feel his neck, but someone stepped on his hand. He saw two, no… four? Eight? Figures standing over him. Hallucinating. They’ve drugged me. “That’s clever of you, but fucking weak. You know I’d take you out, old man.” Wade slurred, trying not to let whatever they have injected him with pull him under. “What do you want?” He actually feared that they’d lock him back up, torture him again - - - and keep him from Pietro. Wade attempted to trash, but it felt like he was under water. He just couldn’t move properly.
Trevor moved into view. He pulled the knife out from his side, groaning as he did so. “Amateur throw, boy. Missed my vitals.” Trevor turned the knife and jammed it into Wade’s heart with massive force, drawing an awful scream from his lips. “That’s what you want to aim for. Try to get some practise in, eh?” Trevor patted halfway slapped his cheek with bloody fingers, Wade desperately tried to turn his head away – but couldn’t. Trevor searched Wade’s pockets – found what he was looking for and sniffed as he straightened up, looming over him.
“That injection we gave you? It slows your healing for a while. Won’t stop it – but it’ll make you feel like hell for a little longer.” Trevor leered, before he whispered the last four words. “Ajax sends his regards,” Wade’s eyes widened. Fuck no – not those two together. He wanted to call Ajax out, say that he was a fucking chicken for not coming after him himself – but he never got the chance to. He saw the underside of Trevor’s boot, who stepped on his face, knocking him clean out.
Trevor tossed Wade’s cellphone over to one of his guys – getting him to unlock it. He went through his messages, not surprised to find Pietro on top of his texts. He took a photo of Wade, knocked out, with the broken jaw and nose – bleeding from the face, syringe standing out of his neck and oh – the knife in his heart, wrote “If you want him, come get him.” hit send and threw the phone on top of Wade.
“Let’s move out. The mutant freak might be here in no time.” Trevor instructed his guys – and they disappeared back into the shadows. They’d have time to leave because Trevor hadn’t revealed their location. And Wade? He was left bleeding, injured, drugged and alone – except forthe rats and cats that still lurked in the shadows. Trevor smirked as he saw the little figures moving up to the body.
@runfastgivesass
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rudolf-rokkr · 7 years ago
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fuck your ugly-ass runes
I’m frustrated with people who want “their” cultural symbols handed to them on a silver platter. They want to “reclaim” things that were never anything except Nazi symbols, like the 12-spoked black sun or the symbol of a Nazi volunteer militia, yet they can’t be bothered to figure out what runes Vikings used. Nazis say “here are the symbols of our ancestral heritage (that are a bunch of crap we made up) and you all go “give it back!” When it comes to the runes they took 1,500 years of tradition and steamrolled it. It could never have been any other way. Nationalism is the enemy of culture. They cannot coexist in harmony. Nationalism is piss on the graves of our ancestors.
I keep seeing people say that they want to reclaim the runes, but you can’t reclaim something that was never yours. And if your conception of the runes is coterminous with Nazi use of them, then it is shallow, superficial, not worth saving, the death of tradition with a few half-rotten specimens preserved pinned under glass.
I know it’s hard when you don’t know who you can trust. We wouldn’t be in this situation without wolves in sheep’s clothing sneaking lies between a handful of facts to distract you (Thorsson/Flowers). We have a lot of work to do uprooting the deceit that lies at the core of modern heathen reception of the runes. Now’s a good time to start. Since the part of the problem that’s most active on everyone’s mind regards visual perception of symbols of Norse and Germanic culture this is gonna focus on that, with lots of pictures.
~ Get excited, kids, it’s runology time ~
Nazis didn’t take “runes,” they took an aesthetic more or less from the Gallehus horn.
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This one particular object has runes that happen to appeal to their sense of aesthetics and as a result became “the” runes, and all of you people fell for it. They’re into straight lines because there were Nazi philologists who thought runes were the original writing system that the Mediterranean alphabets ripped off (echoing Johan Bure in the 16th century). The straight lines reminded of their origin in ancient rock carvings (rather than the truth, that their origin is in the (Semitic) Phoenician alphabet via something else like Latin, Greek, another Italic alphabet, or perhaps even with direct influence from a Semitic source). They were considered a symbolic mystical system first, that later achieved some utility as a writing system. The pristine geometric shapes reflect their archetypal mystical nature (specifically within the “Ariosophical” (racist) Armanen system of runes based on a “hexagonal crystal structure”). And I guess these blocky slabs are “manly” or something.
So yeah, it relates to an actual inscription but it’s just an aesthetic. I know this because I can do this:
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These are Latin letters that “look like runes.” The only problem is, they don’t. They look like one inscription that reads “I, Hlewagastiʀ Holtijaʀ, am a huge fucking bigshot who drinks out of gold.” The non-runologist part of me is glad his shit got stolen and melted down.
Most of this goes for the other widely-visible variant -- the same thing but with thin lines (like tawido at the end above). Those are somewhat better represented in the runic corpus but it’s not because that’s what runes “are,” it’s because it’s easier and not everyone is a professional. I’m still gonna attack the idea that these are in any way prototypical. In fact I believe that for most (but not all) rune-carvers rounded runes were the prototype, and when this wasn’t adhered to it was for stylistic or utilitarian reasons.
Runes that don’t follow this aesthetic -- which is most actual runes -- will not even be recognized as runes by most people.
The rest is long and full of images so I will save your dash but the punchline is that if you want to save the runes from Nazis the first step is knowing them -- not as the Nazis conceived of them but as they exist in the wild, because then you realize that what was taken was nothing compared to what we rob ourselves of by falling for imposter “tradition.”
If runes had been used continuously they would probably be about as different from Latin letters as Greek and Cyrillic scripts -- that is, no inherent stylistic differences, just different inherited underlying shapes. I mean, look at early Latin script:
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(Lapis niger)
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(Duenos inscripion)
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(Lapis Santricanus)
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This beautiful text here is Gothic, the precious lovechild of runes and the Greek alphabet. The result of adapting to new contexts and new challenges.
The reason runes aren’t as diverse in appearance as Latin is because there just isn’t as much of them. If they were used for writing long texts they’ve probably have developed minuscules and all sorts of other variants. But even within the much more limited corpus we see that runes can be:
soft
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(Tune stone)
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(Möjbro stone)
regular and professional
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(Vadstena bracteate, this btw is typical of bracteates which by numbers are most of the elder futhark corpus)
curvy:
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(Björketorp runestone -- notice even the m (#6 on 3rd line), d (there’s a bunch of them), and k (#7 on second-to-last line) runes have curves).
minimalist
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(HS 12, staveless runes)
stylized
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(Kragehul spearshaft; we can file the Gallehus horn underst “stylized” as well, the goldsmith was trying to be fancy and fucked up so he had to squeeze the last bit in)
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(Bramham Moor ring, drawing by Georg Stephens)
chaotic
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(Ribe skull... yeah, literally a piece of skull... with what’s believed to be a charm for a headache)
tiny
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(Saltfleetby spindle whorl... an invocation of Óðinn, Heimdallr, and Þjálfi(?))
There is a huge amount of variation of each rune
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(From Texts and Contexts of the Oldest Runic Inscriptions by Tineke Looijenga)
they even borrow from other futharks
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(Stentoften stone; the circled runes are both reflexes of *jērą (at this point, *ār) but the second is an ideograph for ‘harvest’ that is not contemporary to the stone)
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(Ög 43, that’s an elder futhark d-rune in a younger futhark inscription (1st on second line); image manipulated to make it more legible)
I mean look at this badass
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(Rök stone... standard early short-twig and then BAM! Elder goð damn futhark in the 800′s (bottom and leftmost line)! I mean the carver doesn’t know how to use it properly but damn. And then that’s not enough so then the cheeky bastard breaks out MULTIPLE PATTERNS OF CIPHER RUNES (top and third line of tunes from the top. )
they can have serifs
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(Malton dress pin)
they keep up with the times
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(AM 748 I b 4to, The Third Grammatical Treatise from c. 1300-1325... an essay by Snorri’s nephew that talks about how to write in runes, by the way, I’ve been shoving this down people’s throats for years and can’t get anyone to care)
or go their own way
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(Codex Runicus, from about the same time as the previous, this doesn’t look very out of time to us now but everyone was writing like in the image immediately above at the time)
I mean, guys. And don’t not click the links, please. I’m begging you
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(Lbs 1349 4to)
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(Lbs 636 4to)
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(Huld, ÍB 383 4to)
and like not to toot my own horn or anything but
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nobody is seeing this and thinking “white nationalist.”
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ek iafnuel skrifa i litlum stǫfum sem ek bio til ek jafnvel skrifa í litlum stǫfum sem ek bjó til ‘I even write in minuscules that I invented.’ Can you tell I really love Gothic script? Would love to see what others would come up with, what would pick up and spread, what variants would coexist.
Also I mean it’s not like you even need to use runes to write in runes
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(Ciphers in AM 687 d 4to, the earliest copy of the Icelandic Rune Poem. Along the bottom are villuletur, a substitution cipher. Conveying information but preventing most people from accessing it was always an important part of runes)
shit, you don’t even have to write anything (link to instructions on how to spell using rune kennings)
Here’s the thing. Nazis are idealist essentialists, they believe in the “original” “unpolluted” archetypal proto-form of things. Runes have never been any of those things. Runes have always been artists trying to one-up each other, nerds trying to push the boundaries of weirdness, young punks scrawling graffiti, and at least later on also moms carving shopping lists so dad doesn’t forget that little Sigríðr needs new gloves. Stop holding yourself to a standard that doesn’t exist because you found it in a book by some crypto-fascist masquerading as a runologist. From the second person to carve runes on, there were no prototypical runic forms -- carvers saw a variety of related symbols standing for the same thing, formulated their own idea of their own prototype of it and how to use it, and deployed it in combination with context plus willingness to put in time and effort. The beauty of runes is -- like all writing -- is their infinite potential for creative expression.
This post makes heavy use of resources from Arild Hauges Runer, which goes uncited above because Arild mostly collects sources from elsewhere, but it would be wrong not to credit him for all his work.
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aion-rsa · 4 years ago
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How White Noise Exposes the Empty Lies of the Alt-Right
https://ift.tt/2ZPmb1K
Rabbit holes have been on Daniel Lombroso’s mind during the last four years. Perhaps they’ve been there longer since his awareness of the alt-right predates his work on the new documentary White Noise. Yet ever since a fateful day in 2016, when he pointed a camera at a band of young white American men offering up their arms in a Nazi salute, he’s thoroughly explored one of the darkest rabbit holes in 21st century Western culture—and he’s shined a light on how so many got there, only to spread more hate out of it.
A perfect example comes midway through White Noise. Using what Lombroso cites as a strong tool for any cinema vérité documentarian, the montage, he tracks how one of the movie’s primary subjects, alt-right personality Mike Cernovich, spent the final months of the 2016 presidential campaign tweeting across the internet an erroneous smear about Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton. Cernovich falsely claimed she had covered up a series of seizures, including on Sept. 11 of that year during a visit to the site of the World Trade Center attack, and was quietly suffering from Parkinson’s Disease.
“It takes off enough that a few days later it’s on Hannity, and a few days later it’s coming out of the president’s mouth,” Lombroso tells us over Zoom on a late October afternoon. “I mean, the notion that messaging from the President of the United States can begin with the conspiratorial snake oil salesman in California, and ends up in a president’s mouth, it’s just totally astounding.”
It’s also just one of the more overt ways White Noise explores the menace, as well as the shallow initial appeals, of the alt-right movement in the United States.
Produced by The Atlantic, White Noise is a documentary that’s been four years in the making for Lombroso. He’s keen to admit that he didn’t intend for the process to take the entire length of President Donald Trump’s presidential term. But then that may be serendipitous. For unlike other documentaries that study the modern far-right in American life from a distance, Lombroso’s film is the only one doing it from the inside looking out.
With remarkable access to three of the (once) most popular voices in the alt-right movement, Lombroso took a fly on the wall vantage for years as he traveled the world with Cernovich, Lauren Southern, a Canadian white supremacist on YouTube, and American neo-Nazi Richard Spencer. And over the course of White Noise’s 90 minutes, years of interviews, and silent observations, the emptiness of all three’s snake oil becomes overbearing.
Of course they would disagree; Spencer even takes umbrage any time he is called a Nazi. And yet, it was a Spencer-led event in November 2016 that brought White Noise into being. Years before he headlined at the white supremacist “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, Virginia—which led to the murder of anti-racist protestor Heather Heyer—Spencer was jubilant in the heady days following Donald Trump’s surprise electoral victory.
“I started covering the alt-right as a reporter at The Atlantic in about July of 2016, four or five months before the event,” Lombroso says. “I saw just really repulsive stuff bubbling up online, in chat forums, but also on college campuses. I only graduated a couple of years before from school, so I actually brought coverage of the alt-right to The Atlantic.” And among the filmmaker’s ideas that autumn was a profile of Spencer, whom Lombroso views as a modern day equivalent of former grand wizard of the KKK, David Duke.
Even so, the filmmaker was somewhat taken aback when he followed Spencer and a litany of believers into a Washington D.C. ballroom just days after Trump’s election. There Spencer referred to the media as Lügenpresse, the German phrase for “Press of Lies,” which was utilized by Nazi propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels. Spencer’s followers then chanted, “Hail Trump!” and “Hail our people!”
Reflects Lombroso, “At the time, alt-right was used as a fun way for them to rebrand, and it was total bullshit. I mean, they’re Nazis, they’re white supremacists, they’re fascist and that clip was really important in clarifying what they were about.” It went viral and became the launching pad of Lombroso’s first feature film—a film he believes to have crucial historical significance.
“I think seeing them on the rise and seeing how much Trump had empowered them was just completely shocking to them,” Lombroso considers. “I don’t think Trump would exist and be where he is without the alt-right, and the alt-right also wouldn’t exist without Trump. I mean, it’s a really terrifying symbiotic relationship.”
Its historical importance was also only heightened by Lombroso’s own personal background as a Jewish man who has spent a lifetime living with the dangers of far-right extremism.
“Both of my grandmothers are Holocaust survivors, and I grew up very close to them, learning their stories,” says the director. “One of them lost her entire family, except for a brother, and the other one lost her sister in the war. So those were fundamental memories and legacies that I grew up with.”
Given this personal history, it is perhaps surprising so many alt-right personalities would welcome Lombroso and his camera within their ranks. And with the exception of Spencer, it was a challenge gaining access.
“Spencer is the easiest because he’s willing to do almost anything,” Lombroso says. “[But] once he understood that this was kind of an unvarnished vérité film—I think he didn’t totally grasp that—and the more frankly embarrassing moments I caught of him, the more he tried to back off. But Cernovich was difficult, and then Lauren… was next to impossible. It took eight months to convince her to participate in the project. She doesn’t do any press.”
Nevertheless, they all wound up becoming protagonists in the film. Lombroso credits this to each thinking they could “outsmart” him, and that they were all narcissistic enough in their own way to fail to grasp how they would appear on screen. With a vérité approach, the three minor celebrities could only see plenty of floor space to hock their soundbite-deep ideology. But when captured in full context, they were each given enough proverbial rope.
Even so, the filmmaker cultivated complicated relationships with each of them, particularly Southern, whom he describes as “the key to the film.”
“I just built this really interesting kind of journalistic relationship with her where I just kept coming back and trying to convince her that I was sincere in wanting to understand her story,” Lombroso says. “She’s a little bit younger than me, but we’re around the same age and I think that helped. If I was a 60-year-old white dude director, it would have been a lot harder. But even though I find her views totally abhorrent, we had at least some references growing up and watching the same things, listening to the same things.”
And listen to Lauren, Lombrsoso did. Extensively. Over the course of several years, the documentarian traveled with her across the globe as her YouTube celebrity grew. On that video-sharing site, she posted alleged makeup tutorials where she would write the words “Fuck Islam” across her cheeks; and she’d fly to Russia in order to prove there is no “collusion” while wearing Soviet styled military caps. With several years’ reflection, she later tells Lombroso in the film that these were “trolling politics.” She sold them with a chirping smile.
That is of course the danger. As Lombroso recalls, when he followed Southern all the way to the European Parliament, Janice Atkinson, a former British member of the EU legislative branch, cooed, “She can sell it to my sons better than I can sell it.” Or, as Lombroso clarifies, “She’s young, obviously part of her package is that she’s attractive and she uses it to radicalize people.”
At the same time, during the course of making White Noise, Southern showed the most potential for change. The filmmaker caught on camera what appeared to be far-right radio host, and Proud Boys founder, Gavin McInnes sexually propositioning Lauren over the phone (McInnes is married and denied that he actually did so). And Lombroso was able to document Southern’s growing weariness with this kind of gross, leering attention.
“With Richard and Mike, no, there’s very little regret, there’s very little self-awareness,” Lombroso says. “With Lauren, dealing with a lot of the sexual harassment and abuse from men… I think there was a moment, it’s act two in the film, which was about a year and a half ago filming, when she was dealing with it so dramatically and nonstop. It was just a never ending torrent of shit from these guys that there was a chance or a hope that she might change.”
But one of the most telling things about White Noise is it’s not a reclamation story or the “Hollywood narrative,” as Lombroso shrugs.
“In pitch meetings, everyone was looking for the hallmark story of the Nazi who reformed. There’s a few amazing examples like Derek Black, but it’s so rare. The hundreds of people I interviewed and spent time with, I can count on one hand the number of people who reformed and owned up.”
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So even as Southern took a year off from the alt-right rat race, and had a child with a man who was not white, her views never changed. In fact, they hardened. Which makes her desire in White Noise to not talk about the ethnicity of her child’s father all the more striking.
“I think Lauren’s omission of her boyfriend [and] now husband is intentional,” Lombroso says. “I think she’s potentially embarrassed. She wants to minimize as much as possible how much of a blatant contradiction that is. I mean, she is the avatar for white femininity, for white baby-making, and for the preservation of the white race.” And she’s doubled down on that line of thinking, if not in the specific gender dynamics, after taking a year off.
More insidious still is how figures like Southern can trade in their YouTube hate-mongering for the prestige of establishment notoriety. After going to Paris and filming Middle Eastern refugees left to live in tents, she and alt-right filmmaker Caolan Robertson created a repugnant piece of propaganda called Borderless. It was screened for European policymakers.
“She was invited to the European Parliament,” Lombroso remarks. “She met her partner, and with the benefits of her privilege as a young white person could just wipe that stuff away. So yeah, the EU speech gave her a tremendous amount of credibility, a stunning amount. And she’s really not sorry about anything.”
As the toast of far-right European Parliament members’ staffs—with 10 percent of elected members currently belonging to the anti-immigrant and extremist Identity and Democracy group—Southern screened Borderless. The documentary pivots on a misleading montage where a series of refugees say they wish they stayed in their native countries. Out of context, Southern and Robertson present this with goofy inspirational music.
In White Noise, Lombroso provides context. In tent cities beneath highway overpasses, Southern lies and manipulates refugees to get the soundbites she desires.
“It’s terrible and terrifying,” Lombroso says. “Coming from The Atlantic, we just had the most careful, rigorous journalistic standards. Everyone had to sign a release form. Everyone knew my name and how I worked. If they asked about my background, I’d say I’m Jewish. Nothing was a lie. And in that scene, you see on camera Lauren give a fake name. She says, ‘My name is Alex.’ To give you context beyond [White Noise], she would represent herself all sorts of ways, most often as a journalist who was very favorable to refugees and wanted to hear their story and spread the word. They had no idea what they were getting themselves into.”
Yet Lombroso’s instinct to maintain the vérité approach of bearing witness to this sinister manipulation could create an ethical dilemma. These are people in the worst situation imaginable, living in tents and unable to get a job because the EU will not give them work permits no matter what they do.
Says Lombroso, “For me, it just became about exposing how horrible her treatment was and how inconsistent it was with what we saw.”
Such instances demonstrate the inherent challenge of Lombroso’s approach, but also the reason he felt compelled to present White Noise as a documentary that follows three alt-right celebrities to a bitter end. Unlike so many other political documentaries, there are no talking heads drawing direct comparisons to the 1930s, as Lombroso might do in a Zoom conversation, nor is there a voiceover narration or heavy-handed musical score, asking the viewer to feel a certain way.
Lombroso is acutely sensitive to criticism that his film would become a platform or amplifier for the subjects’ hateful rhetoric. Instead of presenting their talking points without context, Lombroso argues, he is drowning them in excessive context.
“I think our realization is that these folks have followings in the millions, and a huge amount of influence already,” Lombroso says. “So it was on me as a filmmaker and journalist to take their ideas seriously, but slowly dismantle them. I think the vérité format does that extremely well… you’re able to tie someone up in his loops, prove them wrong, expose their psychology and just how abhorrent they are in a way that’s much more revealing, I believe, than any expert at the Brookings Institution could ever do.”
Lombroso views the intimate access he had with these figures a unique opportunity and his biggest asset. By stepping back, he could capture the whole alt-right landscape in the age of Trump with a single snapshot of historic value.
“The way the alt-right recruits is by telling the story that we’re the descendants of Greeks and Romans,” says the filmmaker. “That we are strong men and that if you follow us, you’ll be happy, you’ll be confident, and you’ll feel better. And the real way to dismantle that isn’t for an expert to tell you it’s not true; it’s to really just show how empty it is.”
It’s also what the finished film conveys in 2020. Over recent months, Lombroso and The Atlantic have screened White Noise for a variety of audiences, and all of them, including conservative ones, had the same reaction of revulsion toward these people and where they end up.
By the time White Noise’s credits roll, each of the three subjects—Spencer, Cernovich, and Southern—have been left behind by their movement. Cernovich and Southern chose to step away, somewhat weary of the mess they helped create, though each has tried to circle back. In the case of Southern, it is continuing her online activism in Australia after Borderless’ warm reception among the far-right; Cernovich, meanwhile, contemplates a run for Congress after transitioning to selling skin care products and other seeming grifts.
And Spencer? At picture’s end, he is divorced and living back home in his mother’s extravagant Montana house, playing the piano and riding ski lifts alone while fantasizing about there one day being a Richard Spencer Boulevard.
Muses Lombroso, “Richard is an ideologue. Richard believes it, but even with him, he’s intoxicated by the fame. So I think it’s sort of a spectrum. Richard is a true believer. Mike believes next to nothing, but all of the motivations are mixed.”
What all three have in common, however, is an indignation at how they appear in White Noise.
“There’s a reason they despise the film,” Lombroso tells me. “They’re all very unhappy with the way it came out, because I think in their minds they’re the heroes of their own story. And now they’re looking in the mirror and seeing that for most people, it just doesn’t look that way.”
He goes on to add, “The New York Times just wrote a review and said the three must be so excited about this film. And if only the reviewer at The Times knew what my inbox looked like for the past two months in my phone. I mean, they’re furious because they know that this film just dismantles their ideology and their ability to recruit. It makes them look like fools.”
The alt-right, at least as how Cernovich, Spencer, and Southern, conceived of it, is effectively dead. But its ideology and aspirations live happily on in the mainstream every time Fox News hosts spread conspiracy theories that sound only slightly removed from the most heinous rhetoric Cernovich propagated on Twitter; and it breathes deeply each instance President Trump refuses to denounce a QAnon conspiracy theory that has morphed into the new faceless leader of far-right propaganda online.
The rabbit hole still exists, just one click away. But at least with White Noise, some younger minds might see the ugly reality such blind hate leaves in its wake.White Noise is available on VOD now.
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hellyeahheroes · 7 years ago
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Secret Empire: Top Ten DUMBEST Moments
As far as events go, Secret Empire is probably one of the worst. And considering both Civil Wars, Ultimatum, Amazons’ Attack and Countdown are events, that bar has been set pretty low. So as it finally comes to an end, seven months too late, let us showcase some of the worst decisions made during the creation of this story. They made it into such colossal trainwreck.
Honorable Mention: Dress Like a Nazi To Work Day
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Out of all moronic decisions in this event, this was the one that irks me the most because it slipped into real life. Marvel tried to get their retailers to not only dress in Hydra shirts the day the book premieres but also dress their entire store in Hydra symbols. At least one store owner told them they hire LGBTQ and Jewish people and will be dropping Marvel. Hard to blame that person. Who in their right mind tells people selling his product to dress like a Nazi?! And don’t tell me the old “Hydra isn't Nazis” crap. First of all, even if they’re not, they’re still a fascist death cult that had absolutely no moral qualms about working with the Nazis during World War II, copying from their style and being effectively taken over by remnants of Nazi Germany multiple times. At this point, it’s splitting hair. And two, Marvel, you had Steve Rogers say Hail Hydrand a whole year before. Since then you were constantly trying to tell people Hydra isn’t a Nazi organization and NOBODY BOUGHT IT! At this point, you should have looked at the “Hydra Takeover” idea and realize it might backfire. That this wasn’t recalled but went through only proves that Marvel’s head is so deep up its very ass they no longer see the reality.
Number Ten: Captain America Walking Out Of Himself and Standing Nearby
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It is undeniable that Marvel did horrible damage to Captain America in this story, basically twisting the guy into everything he wasn’t. I was honestly afraid how, if ever, they manage to fix the character. But I was not expecting them to pull out the good, old-fashioned chickening out by having an identical copy of the character before he was ruined appear to take over. While seeing real Captain America beat the shit out of Captain Nazi is really cathartic, one cannot forget it came to be through rather...ridiculous means.
Number Nine: Tony Stark
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Okay, this one is simple. Tony Stark is in this story. Despite being in a coma. Tony Stark holographic A.I. from Brian Bendis’ Invincible Iron Man is filling in for him. Only here he parades around in Tony’s old armor all the time without anyone commenting on it, recalibrated his personality to be constantly drunk and at one point Steve Rogers tries to decapitate him, a hologram, talking some technobabble about how Hydra made it possible for Tony to die this way.
He’s just Tony Stark. He is Tony Stark because Spencer had scenes requiring Tony Stark to be there and instead of killing his darlings like a good writer, he just wrote clearly human Tony Stark and threw some half-assed explanations and lampshades. It’s silly and makes every scene with him impossible to take seriously.
Number Eight: All the Fucking Quislings!
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This one is bad. And I mean, just simply bad. Okay, it’s multiple problems, not a singular one. But it makes my very insides turn at the thought. Nick Spencer asked how can he threw some moral ambiguity IN AN EVENT ABOUT HEROES FIGHTING LITERALLY NAZIS and the best idea he had was to have some random heroes join Hydra. I’m not talking here about those who were brainwashed, like Wanda and Vision, although that is a conversation to also be had by their fans about how often this treatment occurs. Although I wonder - if they are too powerful to let them roam freely, why even HAVE them in this event? It’s not like every superhero was there, currently, heroic Victor Von Doom could probably break Hydra at day one and he was nowhere to be seen.
No, the real problem is with the fact they made some heroes join Hydra willingly. Sometimes they tried to throw flimsy reasons in. Punisher joined to get his family back...even though in previous stories he refused the same offer from less evil people. I feel it’s kinda funny they did this with Frank, considering the man who more or less defined him, Chuck Dixon, has thrown in with real-life Nazis like Milo Yiannopolus. Meanwhile, Deadpool and Thor just go along with letting Nazis rule the States because....Steve Rogers said so and Steve Rogers is always right. That’s just a plain stupidity and total lack of compassion on their side. I’m sure don’t feel like buying any book starring them ever now.
But the worst one is, by far, the Hulk. Who also comes back to life for this event, only to smash for Hydra and immediately die.But that is not the worst part. The worst part is how they build up to it. By having Hydra Steve give Bruce Banner long speech over how Avengers and everyone mistreated him over the years and with Hydra he will finally be accepted for who he is. And Banner calls him a Nazi and tells to go fuck himself. And it is a very powerful moment, Bruce Banner symbolizes everyone disfranchised by the society being offered hand by Nazis and heroically rejecting it... Nah, turns out Rogers was talking to Hulk who felt like changing his catchphrase to Sig Heil. I don’t think Spencer even realized what message he sent by this one moment. He basically said that everyone who has been screwed over by the system secretly agrees with the Nazis, but are “too PC” or “too weak” to say it out loud. It’s stupid AND extremely insulting, two for the price of one.
Number Seven: BARF!
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How to properly seed a classic Chekov’s Gunman and yet STILL make him feel like a Deus Ex Machina? Make him ridiculously fucking stupid, that’s how!
Enter Barf, a random Inhuman with the power to vomit up things he needs. He shows up in the first issue, is absent through the entire story only to reappear in Captain America #25 and vomit out a fragment of Cosmic Cube. Because why let people work for their victory and earn their happy ending when you can just have all their efforts blow in their faces and just have means of victory handled to them on a silver platter in the most blatant way possible! If Nick Spencer knew he’s going to write himself into a corner, couldn’t he simply change the plot to avoid it instead of setting up something so stupid?
Number Six: Thou Shalt Not Kill, Miles
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After Civil War II we were left with a vision of the future where Miles Morales kills Captain America. Once Secret Empire rolled around and we saw Rogers go full Alt-Right on the country, many were hoping this will actually happen. And Miles, with a handful of friends, does join Black Widow in her efforts to off Captain Nazi. And she spends most of the series training them to be more like her....then talking how she doesn’t actually want them to be more like her and how her generation screwed things up....then taking them on the assassination day anyway only to lock Miles up to kill Rogers herself and when that fails, give up her life trying to stop their fight. Which, in the classic refrigerator fashion, pushes Miles hard enough to actually do this. Only to be given one of the most hollow, lazy-written speeches about how killing is wrong. It hits all the old, tired notes. “Heroes should be better than villains”. “If you kill him, you will be just like him!” (a reminder that “you” in this situation is a Black-Latino and “him” is A FUCKING NAZI FOR CHRIST”S SAKE...). “Natasha wouldn’t want this for you.” (she showed it in the strangest way).... It’s especially bad when you have a character who has a backstory of being trained to kill but rejecting those ways, like Nadia Van Dyne, delivering this speech. Despite her background and personality none of this sounds like her words. It reads like she was going through a checklist of tired cliches.
This is why I came to hate this Aesop that superheroes shouldn’t kill. Because nine times out of ten this isn’t done to actually be a piece of a character driven narrative. It’s done to give a bunch of excuses to let villain live when he deserves to die.
Also, that entire plot point dragged since the previous event, in the end, amounted to BUG FUCKING NOTHING!
Number Five: Who Cares About the Civilians, Right?
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So okay, the day is saved, villains are defeated, Captain Nazi got his ass kicked by Steve Rogers and Kobik, a sentient cosmic cube, undoes all this damage. EXCEPT FOR FUCKING VEGAS, WHICH HYDRA LEVELED AND LEFT NOT SURVIVORS! Seriously, I don’t care about the explanations given. Someone should have asked her to do it. And no, some “leave it as a reminder” excuse doesn’t work, Kobik is mentally three years old, she isn’t some wise all-powerful being like Odin or the Stranger from whom we could buy this shit. This is pretty much done only so that Nick Spencer can claim he kept his promise to not undo everything by the cosmic cube. He didn’t undo EVERYTHING, that counts, right? It makes all the heroes look like morons and assholes. Even Z Fighters in Dragon Ball have enough decency to ask the dragon to resurrect all dead civilians when they undo everything after every arc. Marvel heroes, for all the “lessons” this even taught them, couldn’t be assed to do even that.
Number Four: Ultron the Centrist
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I’ll be honest with you, Pymltron wearing “Kiss the Overlord” apron, forcing Avengers and Hydra to sit and roasting all of them was one of the best parts of the event. But then it also comes off as paying lip service to the “both sides are as bad” mentality that we saw being used by people of today to desperately try to equate alt-right and those opposing them in real life. It’s pretty much justifying this approach in this story and it doesn’t matter one saying that is a fusion of mentally unstable man and a genocidal robot - he never gets challenged on this position because, for all his talk otherwise on twitter, Nick Spencer apparently cannot think of a compelling argument against it. I guess he secretly agrees with him...
And it doesn’t help that while Ultron ends up aiding the good guys, he does say it’s because Hydra became too strong and might pose a threat to him. Sending a message that any outside powers that show support to those opposing Nazis, in reality, wants America’s destruction...
Number Three: Nazi Pandering
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Do I really need to explain this one? The entire event does nothing but bends over to kiss Hydra, and by the extension, Nazi ass at every possible opportunity. They beat up all superheroes because the plot says so, while the narrator goes on and on about how NAZI STRONK! We’re told they were supposed to win the World War II and that Allies “cheated” by rewriting reality...but for some reason let the Holocaust in?! Their rule is shown as being the strongest, which is water to the mill of real-life Nazis as their philosophy is based on “might makes right” and they beat up pretty much everyone, even Wakanda. Every victory heroes have against them must be immediately undermined by giving Nazis another win for consolidation. And while the heroes win at the end, this comes after several issues portraying them as absolutely pathetic losers who didn’t really earn their happy ending but it was handed to them by a random inhuman and Deus Ex Machina device. Which brings us to the next point...
Number Two: Cosmic Cubes
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All the dumb shit going in this event can be tracked back to Cosmic Cube, be it as Kobik or the shards. She causes Crazy Steve to emerge, launching this story. And she fixes this mess at the end. Shards of Cosmic Cube serve as a distraction to put both good and bad guys on a wild goose chase because Spencer couldn’t think of any actually interesting plotline for this event. All dumb shit evil Steve pulls out can be explained by them. When it’s time for heroes to win, Barf vomits out a shard. And It undermines everything. A story that entirely revolves around this crap doesn’t have any time to actually show things it’s talking about. Maybe instead of running after Dragon Balls, more time should be developed to show how lack of trust and resentments between the good guys gets in the way? You know, something the narration keeps talking on and on and on but never is reflected in the book? Or show more of them acting like an actual resistance would? Worse, thanks to them heroes no longer win because they’re heroic but because they’ve been handed the I Win Button. Any easy win of the villains can be explained by them holding the Fuck You That’s Why Button. Making you wonder why even care if everybody wins only by writer’s fiat?
Number One: Bown Down To the Gary Stu
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Most of the problems in this entire story can really boil down to just this. Steve Rogers is a gary stu. He wins because Nick Spencer wants to show how cool and badass he is. His plans always go without a hitch and he never has to adapt or improvise, under him, Hydra wrecks everyone's shit, even if he loses he still wins and in the end, the only man allowed to beat him is...another Steve Rogers. All other problems in the story can be traced back to Spencer’s desperate need to make him look strong. And believe me, he tried soo damn hard. Up to have him go full Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Four Madara Uchicha with Cosmic Cube Dojustsu on everyone’s ass at the finale. I don’t think we’d see a guy being shoved down our throats so hard if Roman Reigns joined Ultramarines! This is where the book truly falls. Nick Spencer could not let go of his fanboyism over the character and it twisted everything he supposedly wanted to say into a parody of itself, often sending the exact opposite message to accommodate the need to make evil Steve Rogers look good.
So, these are ten dumbest moments in the series. As far as events go, this was one of the worst. It looks like it might have ruined Nick Spencer’s career at Marvel and maybe in general, and will probably make it very hard to look at certain characters for years to come. The only good thing you could say is that it finally ended.
Fuck this book.
- Admin
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annavolovodov · 7 years ago
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So I read Keep the Home Fires Burning Part Two and I have a few thoughts...
...and when I say a few I mean 2825 words worth. You can probably guess whose storyline most of them are on.
The thing is, the vast majority of this instalment was incredible with two character’s storylines in particular standing out as real highlights for me. Yet the fact that the quality of the rest of the book is so high makes those chapters so glaringly disappointing.
Spoilers under the cut!
Starting with the positives and one of my two favourite characters in the books so far - Pat. Her scenes have been utterly engrossing and I am so, so proud of the way she’s developed since 1x01. She may still be stuck with Bob but she sure as hell won’t let herself be trapped by him. She knows her worth and she’s biding her time.
As I predicted, Pat’s using the Mass Observation columns as an outlet to keep her sane. Since we know she has a literary background and has worked in publishing before, I am PRAYING that the observations she’s been detailing of her life will take off and the series will end with her as a hugely successful writer. Think about it: would it not be the ultimate vengeance against Bob, for her to achieve what he lacked the skill to? Of course I would love Bob to die but that  seems a tad contrived for Home Fires and forcing him to watch the woman he’s abused for years moving onto bigger and better things would be both a satisfying victory for Pat and would fit with the tone of the show.
Side note: I find Pat’s insistence to stick solely to the truth when writing to be an interesting contrast to her husband’s technique. Bob has a tendency to overdramatise aspects of his life and portray himself to be heroic and exciting when in reality, he’s the exact opposite. There’s probably a good meta in there for someone smarter than I am.
I can’t forego a mention of Pat’s quite frankly iconic dragging of Bob for almost a whole chapter. The revelation that she almost straight up murdered him a couple of years ago was unexpected but totally relatable. And some of the quotes from her writing?
“In my experience, men often like to sit around talking about doing great things, but it’s the women who get on and do them.”
“It makes me ashamed that we can be at war with fascist Germany yet exhibit the same base impulse to discriminate against people who simply don’t look like us.”
Pat is a great character.
AND THAT CLIFFHANGER. MAREK’S BEEN WRITING TO HER. HE’S ALIVE. THEY WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN. FUCK YOU BOB.
As for my other favourite? Erica has been an unexpected highlight in the novels. Of those involved in the crash, I was pretty certain she’d make it. She never quite acquired her own storyline in the show, instead largely popping in and out of others plots as needed. I already had Will marked for death since he'd be killed off sooner or later with his illness so it was a nice surprise when he made it out (after saving Vivian!!! I still cry).
Or at least I thought it was a nice surprise right up till we found out his cancer had worsened and he had mere weeks left to live. When Dr Mitchell explained to Erica and Laura that he was nearing the end? When they went home and Erica decided she had to shoulder the burden and remain strong for the girls? Erica finally breaking down whilst the women of the WI held her? I full on sobbed at every single one of those scenes.
I think a lesser series would’ve killed Will instantly when the spitfire hit the house for the sake of drama and words can’t express how grateful I am that Home Fires didn’t, instead choosing to leave us with a poignant and painfully relatable exploration of terminal illness and grief.
I did appreciate the touches of humour in the Campbell’s storyline. Will literally pulled a “Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you saw the last of me” on Erica like 70 years before the meme was invented. Incredible.
Dr Rosen is... intriguing, I guess. I don't dislike her. I think she has potential, even though I’m sceptical at the addition of yet another character when we have mains from S1 who have yet to make a significant impact in the book.
OH AND THE BATTLE OF WILLS BETWEEN HER AND MIRIAM??? The sort of content I paid 99p for. Poor Erica, getting caught in the middle of that. There were many great lines in this book, but I think this might just be my favourite:
“Erica felt a sudden rush of adrenaline, knowing Dr Rosen might get away with a comment like this with some patients, but not with Miriam Brindsley - a woman the rest of the village knew could single-handedly hold off a horde of invading Nazis with a gutting knife for a solid half-hour.”
If that doesn’t sum up Miriam as a character, I don’t know what does.
Speaking of the Brindsleys, do you know how satisfying it is to see them alive and flourishing after spending 15 months mentally preparing yourself to lose at least one of them?
I do.
I mean, they still have a huge target on their backs (Mim’s words in part one about how they’re blessed and are defo making it through the war? Yikes. An omen if ever I saw one) but considering their lack of page time I’m gonna gamble that we can quit worrying about that until Book 2 at the very least.
Moving on, I really did not go into this book expecting to care so deeply about Frances and Noah’s growing relationship yet here we are. Frances excessively calling to check on him every day was adorable. And this entire exchange with the head teacher was legendary:
"Frances didn't want to have an argument. She never wanted to have arguments with all sorts of people she eventually had arguments with; it was simply in her nature to be more challenging of other people's positions than they were used to. It put them on the defensive, and an argument would inevitably ensue. ‘I don’t wish to be confrontational –‘ There was a sudden snort at the other end of the line. Like the sound of someone choking on their tea, perhaps.”
I laughed.
However, despite the many, many positive aspects of this most recent instalment, there is one storyline in particular that singles itself out as Home Fires’ most glaring weak spot.
Of course, I’m referring to Teresa’s story and the awful place she’s currently occupying in the narrative.
Back when the whole Nick debacle began mid-S2, I figured I might as well give it a chance and see where it went. Simon Block was adamant on Twitter that Teresa’s endgame was not a man and what would be unfurling over the coming episodes was a historically accurate depiction of the trials lesbians faced during such time periods. It wasn’t ideal, nor was it what I expected for Teresa based around the promotional material released for S2, but the show hadn’t let me down yet.
And so I have waited, I have given it a chance, and based on the back half of S2 and the two instalments of KTHFB available so far, I am SO disappointed in what Simon Block has done with Teresa. Sure, things may improve in future novels, but right now I’m not sure I can adequately explain how much I hate this goddamn marriage.
Simply put, it is totally unnecessary. Every single aspect of it. Teresa’s chapters in Part Two were awful. I’m pretty sure we’ve established at this point that she is not into men. We do not need to read about her trying and failing to repress her attraction to women whilst having sex with Nick. Even if we absolutely unavoidably had to hear about Nick and Teresa’s sex life, we do not need aforementioned sex scene spread across the whole chapter.
I know this might be hard for Straight Guy Simon Block to understand, but I’m pretty sure exactly zero lesbians are going to want to read about a lesbian character who is struggling with compulsory heterosexuality having sex with a man. I’m bisexual and I found it sickening so God knows how that chapter is going to make lesbians feel. I strongly suspect that some are going to find it triggering, and if the storyline is triggering to the group it is supposed to represent you really have to ask yourself why you are even bothering to write the representation in the first place.
Teresa’s arc in the books so far has consisted of getting married, blaming herself for the crash because she feels like she isn’t taking the marriage seriously (seriously what the fuck was this???), Teresa having conflicting feelings about Annie, Teresa stuck at home worrying about her marriage, Teresa feeling awful whilst having sex with Nick, Teresa worrying about having children, Teresa having more conflicting feelings about Annie and Nick... Do we see a pattern here? Do we get any meaningful scenes of Teresa at school? Do we get any meaningful scenes of Teresa with her canonical close friends Alison and Steph, who she spent S1 and S2 building strong relationships with? Yeah, she occasionally gets a throwaway line in a group scene at a WI meeting, but what does Teresa really get to do outside of being emotionally tortured about her marriage? The change in format to the books has led to characters being isolated in their individual stories whereas the series could allow them to interact more freely, but it genuinely feels like Teresa is stuck in some sort of heterosexual hell and is allowed no reprieve.
And all of this feels completely divorced from S1 and the first half of S2??? S1!Teresa didn’t appear to have any sort of desire to marry a man in order to cover up her sexuality. From the limited screen time we had with them, the main reason the relationship between Teresa and Connie failed seemed to be due to interference from outsiders (aka the headteacher that blackmailed Teresa) and the simple fact that Connie and Teresa wanted different things. Nothing in the series suggested that Teresa was unsure or struggling with her sexuality. Nothing. When the synopsis for 2x04 came out and mentioned Teresa would be asked on a date, everyone immediately assumed it was Annie involved. The prospect of it being a man never crossed our minds because it just seemed so ridiculous.
Another aspect I’m struggling to comprehend is why Alison pushed Teresa towards Nick. There’s no logical explanation for this. Alison knew about Teresa’s sexuality. Alison was fine with it and explicitly wanted her to stay because - and I quote - she “enjoyed having her around”. So how on Earth did we get to this point, with Alison encouraging Teresa to marry a man she barely knows and can never love? The fuck did that come from? The reasoning was murky enough in the show but it’s even worse in the books. Chapter 17 is essentially Alison sitting alone in her house feeling depressed, missing Teresa, lowkey regretting telling her to go but consoling herself because “at least Teresa is in a happy marriage now” or whatever...
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In what universe does any of this make sense?
Yet another person being screwed over by this whole shitshow is Annie. Marek was also introduced in S2 as a love interest for Pat yet he’s somehow obtained significantly more screen time and development than Annie. Despite appearing in four episodes and two instalments of the book I feel like we (and Teresa) barely know her, which is absolute bullshit if they’re seriously intending for her to be Teresa’s endgame. They’ve had three conversations! Any romantic relationship between two women should get equal, if not more focus than the hetero ones especially if they’re the only f/f romance on the show. One of the central themes of Home Fires is relationships between women so I cannot understand why the ball has been so spectacularly dropped here. It’s not fair on Teresa to get all this suffering and a half-baked romantic subplot, it’s not fair on Annie to be essentially non-existent as a character beyond her possible relationship with Teresa and it’s certainly not fair on any wlw reading/watching, desperate to see themselves represented and being given scraps.
Even if Teresa's marriage is over soon (which I'm not holding my breath about), I can't see how she'll get a happy ending with Annie in the village. I highly doubt Nick would be okay with her continuing to live with him whilst she was in a relationship with Annie. Getting a divorce and moving in together would arouse a ton of suspicion and defeat the purpose of Teresa’s marriage in the first place. The only way for them to be able to live as a couple would involve moving away and starting afresh... Exactly what Connie proposed in S1, only for Teresa to turn down because she’d feel much more comfortable living a quiet life in the village than going off to a strange place. Having her suddenly change her mind now after clearly explaining her decision to Connie would result in everything post-1x04 feeling utterly redundant.
I just... this whole plot was totally avoidable. It didn’t need to happen. In a more logical universe:
After the First Aid course, Steph notes Teresa’s discomfort at the casual homophobia, and when coupled with her Meaningful Look at Annie as she cycled away, Steph promptly puts two and two together (remember Steph noticing how quickly Teresa wanted to get away after that comment? Remember the close friendship Steph and Teresa have? Simon Block sure doesn’t).
Once she hears about the impending wedding, Steph gently asks Teresa if she’s sure she wants to do it. Teresa half-heartedly assures her that she loves Nick, so Steph - because she’s a good friend and this show is supposed to be about women helping each other - decides to go and speak to Annie.
Annie and Steph end up staging an intervention and in an important and touching scene, tell her she deserves better than having to hide herself in a marriage to a man.
Teresa, feeling supported and loved by her friends, calls off the wedding.
Nick fucks off and becomes irrelevant.
Steph and Annie’s intervention forces Alison to consider why she pushed Teresa away (spoiler alert: it only really makes sense if it was because she was trying to push away feelings of her own).
Teresa, Annie, Alison, Steph and later Joyce start a wlw group during which they talk about how gay they are and how straight people suck. Nothing bad happens to any of them ever.
See how easy that was? The evils of heteronormativity are depicted in a way that doesn’t cause a lesbian to suffer for months trapped in a horrible loveless marriage.
I really can’t express how disappointed I am in this storyline. Home Fires has handled numerous other sensitive topics well but this marriage plot is an absolute mess right now. I do apologise for going on such a rant about it and I hope my comments make sense. As a bisexual, I’m not as qualified to speak on this particular matter as others in the fandom may be and I hope I’ve not stepped out of turn, but I felt that something needed to be said about what’s happening with Teresa right now and I wasn’t sure if anyone else was going to say it.
Miscellaneous things I’m not going to elaborate on because this is far too long already:
I badly miss Sarah, the Farrows, the Brindsleys, Claire and Spencer, and everyone else who is currently out of rotation. Hope you’re all doing well, folks.
Also missing some of the best dynamics of S1/2. As mentioned earlier, everyone is kinda stuck in their own bubble interacting with the same people over and over again. I particularly want more Frances/Joyce, Teresa/Alison and Teresa/Steph interactions.
Of all the random secondary characters in the show, of course it’s Mrs Talbot who returns for the books. I groaned when I saw her name.
Maybe in some ways I’m glad the show got cancelled because at least I don’t have to witness the Teresa/Nick sex scenes with my own eyes. It was bad enough having to read it thank you very much.
If you’ve made it this far you deserve a medal for your stamina and, as ever, my inbox is always over if anyone else wants to discuss/theorise/rant with me.
See you all again on September 21st for what I’m sure will be another 2000+ word rant!
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clarenecessities · 8 years ago
Text
5/1/17
son i have just had the most delightful day of my got damn life. i know a daily clare post where i’m not just complaining about my life in unnecessary detail is unusual but honestly i just had a swell time
we had language class this morning & admittedly i did ask way too many questions and tell a girl she was pretty bc i have no filter when i’m tired (she is pretty, it was just a weird time to say it)  but i learned a whole bunch! sean has been good with like, maidin mhaith and such but most of it is in one ear and out the other (except conjugation, which is blessedly simple) but we have a new teacher up from teelin & she has us repeat stuff like, excessively. it’s actually pretty reassuring. icr what she was having us chant but at one point we were just going in like gregorian style.
only complaint about anna (the new teacher) is that her accent is different from sean’s so she says ‘dh’ as a [Ghy] instead of a [dJ] so simple shit like “god” and “second” is absolutely fucked. i’m hoping she’ll give us some leeway bc i learned from the Horslips if we’re being quite honest. she’s really adorable though--she taught us how to say we were tired (thank god; a sentence i can use) and she was like miming falling asleep. Ta.. tuirseach oram, i think? she didn’t spell it for us but sean said she’ll teach me on wednesday how to spell everything so i’m flying blind for a while.
we went up the cliffs to look at the napoleon-watch tower--it was pretty chill but the journey nearly killed me. between classes i went up to the store & got some deodorant and a popsicle-thing (it sucked, it was like unsweetened frozen orange juice) and the deodorant here is weird it’s all either spray on or roll-on liquid, so it feels like you’ve just put mosquito repellent on your armpits lmao. anyway yeah it was about four miles but it was a little too steep for a malnourished cripple such as myself to tackle on pepsi & popsicle alone. only fell once though, and saw a load of sheep. the girl who i inadvertently complimented taught me about flowers (i asked the name for harebell because i’d forgotten it, and then i was like “hey what’s this one! what’s this one) which made me feel better bc i’d been a bit worried i’d made her uncomfortable. she was singing a song from the last unicorn at one point & we ended up gushing about that for a bit.
up at the top, when we got to the tower, a small parade of our classmates attempted to scale the side & get up to the door (about ten feet) while our guide was distracted--he hadn’t told us not to do it, he just went back for stragglers and didn’t see. we were all sort of standing around speculating & saying it looked like reasonable holds but nobody really wanted to try after the hike, except, cue hunter, the oft-pseudo-offensive manchild i grow less fond of every day (yesterday he was saying sauron was the good guy & like while it was clearly to ‘troll’ people he was also saying some straight up fascist shit in his too-well-assembled arguments). anyway hunter got up onto the pile of rocks, reached the handholds, and immediately surrendered, saying he’d do it the day he could do two chinups. next up was ben, who was volunteered by a few of us because he’s tall and relatively strong--he also got his hands in the holds, but retired immediately on the basis of being too lazy to actually haul himself up. third was chris, who (if you ask me) saw it as a sort of challenge and just went through the effort to show off, which was what hunter was trying to do but couldn’t back up. frankly i’d have been more impressed if i wasn’t a bit leery of chris--he’s not said anything bad to me, he just has a very condescending vibe that i find Incredibly Irritating.
hmm but then we looked out over the cliffs, and our guide told us a story about a sea stack called “the devil’s dick” and we found our way back down about an hour after it was supposed to have taken. idt he was counting on so many of us being so slow, but he had about five of us lagging for various immutable reasons.
class was supposed to start up again at 7 but we’d only gotten down the mountain at about 6, so i decided to forgo the half hour line for the chipper & grab something from the shop (ultimately some pound cake, bc i’m so healthy). outside the shop, who should turn up, but the black cat i’ve been trying to impress for three days!! she was waiting outside the cafe for food (despite having already been fed) so she didn’t run away, but she wouldn’t let me pet her until ashley--one of the workers i met yesterday--came out to smoke, and sort of.. cat-vouched for me? the cat was wary but she clicked to it, and since she’s the one feeding it i think it trusts her opinion heheh. she advised me not to pet it since it was probably covered in fleas but i was like God Himself cannot stop me from petting this cat.
it was wonderful, she just laid down and rusted in the sun, and she looked so happy and peaceful. i hope this means she’ll let me pet her in the future bc i think i love her
she went off back to the shop after a while, so i headed back down the road for class & ran into kelly and matt waiting for their chipper food, and they were like “hey come hang” which i was thrilled to accept. kelly may be the only one who understands how incredible the cat situation was heheh. we decided to call her heather--kelly had been considering matilda but she’s saving that for her own black cat. chris came out the pub & joined us around then, and he and kelly have this sort of pseudo-aggressive banter going where like they’re both clearly not crazy about each other but neither is offended so much as annoyed, and they play it off like a comedic rivalry. it’s actually an interesting dynamic lmao--it’s like the ways that people cope with each other & the things we’ll do automatically you know? interesting.
ben and adrionna came up around then, i think they’d been in the pub too, and they were sweet as always. adrionna and i talked some more about the last unicorn, but were sidetracked by the arrival of: another cat. This one’s a tuxedo tom with crusty eyes and dandruff but he’s so sweet, he’s so good. he was clearly angling to get some of kelly and matt’s fish and chips, but i didn’t mind. we didn’t name him bc we weren’t sure if he was the one named tinkerbell or if it was the other black and white cat, who lives up by our cottages. 
we had to head back down bc class was supposed to start at seven, only come to find out it was seven thirty now, so we just sat out front and waited. the black and white cat who may or may not be named tinkerbell made a brief appearance, but took off down a sheep field before i could approach her. on the way down kelly and i went over our beeves w people, which is probably the oldest and fastest bonding method known to man--we agree on people for the most part, which isn’t too surprising given our mutual affinities for cats & communism
while we were sitting out front we were blessed by a visit from--get this--a fourth cat. at first i thought it was heather bc it’s also black with green eyes, but as it got nearer it was clearer it wasn’t. he’s a tom, older, bigger than her, with a square jaw and less rust in his coat but much more in his purr. we decided to call him gorse to keep up the theme. there’s some speculation that he’s heather’s father, as she’s still quite young, but i expect we’ll find out. if the crusty-eyed potential-tinkerbell isn’t in fact a tom, they may be the mother, and then heather and smaller-potential-tinkerbell would make good sense as their offspring. a black and white cat and a black cat birthing a black and white kitten and a black kitten? almost poetic, in a way.
evening class was awesome, not the least of which because i’d gotten to pet three cats by that point. we had a professor out from galway who’s co-writing a book with sean about joe heaney, and he’s an o’leary himself (well; an o laoire) so i kept joking he was my grandson (sean was the only one who laughed but it may have been pity). he talked for a long while about folklore and living traditions, and bealoideas and etymology and poetry--he recited the Planter’s Daughter, which i’d never heard before--it’s really good tbh. he also said at one point that folklore was sort of viewed as the domain of “slightly deranged maiden aunts” & i was like finally, a calling for me!
we learned the first few stanzas of a song--it was really nice because he took us through the lyrics talking first, instead of jumping right to singing like sean (yes we learn it faster, but we learn it wrong bc we don’t know what we’re saying). as i was looking over the lyrics i realized ONE of the words looked FAMILIAR--a gconra chlair. i was like hey,,,,, that can’t mean what i think it means can it, so i flipped it over and the translation was “coffin”.
heheh so i asked him about it and i was, in fact, right--it’s a coffin of boards. a wooden coffin, really, a poetic device, but there it is, folks--the etymological origin of my name put to practical use!
my first time seeing it in a sentence and it’s about a coffin. what’s better than that honestly
he also told me there’s a different pronunciation of “gconra” down in Cork (i had mentioned my people were from Cork (he laughed and said mine too--i told him they were the same people but tbqh i don’t think he heard me)), so whereas in Galway they’d say it like “groan-rah” in Cork it’d be “G-cone-ah”
so of course, me being the tremendous nerd i am, i asked him about cnudanai, which i happened o have written on the back of my notebook (see: tremendous nerd) and he taught me the cork pronunciation as a counter to sean’s donegal/connemara blend of “croo-dah-nai”. in Cork it’s “c‘noe-daw-nai” like the word canoe’s been truncated. good shit grandson. good shit.
mm and aftter that i just came on back up to the house! we got off at 9:30 so i’ve been slacking off since then tbh. i got a bit of planning done on the hike for my spooky fic, but i’ve not written it down yet. got weirdly sidetracked by fanart of inuyasha’s parents haha
but now it’s 1 am here so i’m out. pray for my muscles to heal miraculously in the night, please
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amorremanet · 8 years ago
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Arthur/moody, lucius/moody, lupin/snape?
the brutally honest ship opinions game
Arthur/Moody: ……okay, like, I have basically no positive feelings about Alastor Moody — I mean, I feel the same need to defend him from JKR’s ableist garbage that accidentally got me in too deep with Lockhart, but we are still talking about a guy who supports using Dementors on people and apparently dngaf about what someone’s done, just send ‘em all to fucking Azkaban (GOF ch. 30, the flashback of Moody we see in the first Pensieve scene)
who thinks that the best present you could give to a kid who’s lost his parents and just watched a classmate be murdered…… is going over a photo of the First War Order and telling him about how all of them died horribly and he doesn’t ever stop to think that this might not be the best idea (OOTP)
and who is legitimately less sensitive to other people’s needs and less dismissive of people who aren’t his exact model of “useful” than a literal fucking Death Eater one of the biggest points where Barty Crouch Jr. drops character in GOF is when he takes Neville to his office and gives him a pro-Herbology pep-talk, and goes, “so, hey, Longbottom, Professor Sprout said you’re super-good at this subject, why not pursue it,” because based on the actual canon about him? The real Alastor Moody would never do something like that.
Like, he might have the moment he has with Harry and Hermione, where he goes, “so, hey, both of you could be gr10 aurors if you wanted, you should think about it” because that, from Moody, would be a compliment, and Harry and Hermione more closely fit his own ideas of usefulness, but not so much the Neville moment)
—but seriously, do you hate him or something? Why else would you even dream of shipping him with Arthur Weasley? (okay, fine, I acquiesce that there is enough of a canonical basis for some people to roll with here, and I myself have made ships out of far less…… but seriously, why would you ship anybody with Arthur Weasley. Like…… wow, rude.)
Lucius/Moody: again, I’m not on the Alastor Moody fan-train or anything, but why would you even do this. Nobody deserves to be shipped with Lucius Malfoy, like? He’s not even an entertaining villain, he’s just pathetic. He’s a sad, pathetic fantasy-fascist who gets his kicks by bullying twelve-year-olds and torturing muggles who can’t defend themselves. He’s a complete waste of character space and forcing anyone to be in a ship with him is just unfathomably cruel
Lupin/Snape: meh, whatever. Like, it’s not my thing, but… *shrugs* meh?
Like, idk what you’re looking for here, nonny, but I’m guessing, based on the other two ships, that you’re looking for me to get cranky and ship-bashy and figured that Snu//pin was a good way to get there, since there are a lot of legitimate Problems with this ship in the text
But the thing is, I’m just under 900 years old (at least in fandom terms), and I remember the days back before HBP came out, when Snu//pin was the second-most popular Remus ship (after Wolfstar, to the surprise of no one), and was, in fact, so popular that it had its own private archive and got black-listed from most rarepair comms because it, “wasn’t really rare, just less popular than D//rarry, Wolfstar, Ro//mione, Dra//mione, H//inny, and J//ily”
—I mean, there was a short stretch before OOTP where I tried to make myself like it because there was a BNF whose art I loved, and she shipped Snu//pin, so I felt like I had to be missing something obvious and cool and because I was, like, twelve, I tried to make myself ship the thing. That didn’t work and I eventually just moved on, but one thing that I recall about the Snu//pin fandom that appears to still be more or less true, based on everything I’ve seen of the present-day Snu//pin fandom?
Is that they came out about the same as the Wolfstar fandom, in terms of how many shippers ignored or made excuses for #Problematic things about the ship vs. how many shippers work those things into the overall fabric of how they ship the thing, how many shippers LIKE the ship because of those Problematic parts and having the opportunity to explore them in fiction, how many shippers actively dive head-first into exploring those parts of the ships because that’s where they find the most engaging character interactions or whatever they’re into, etc.
For examples of what I mean when I say #Problematic things about the ships:
the fact that all three of them are self-loathing [human or werewolf] disasters who are often passively suicidal and either prone to acting out on those feelings (Sirius and Severus), or prone to repressing those feelings until they explode all over some innocent bystanders (Remus)
the fact that all three of them have suffered horrific abuse in their pasts — whether from their parents or other sources — and find ways to take it out on other people (Severus on his students, Sirius on Severus and Kreacher, and Remus on almost anyone who tries to get close to him, even as he makes it seem like he isn’t doing that)
Severus outing Remus as a werewolf because he’s upset and felt like punishing someone else for it, thereby leading to Remus tendering his resignation
the fact that Sirius assuming Remus had to be the spy would’ve been at least partially based on anti-werewolf prejudices, and Sirius still clearly had at least some of those prejudices on his own, because even if Peter totally manipulated them in his favor, there had to be something there for Peter to manipulate in the first place, so???
the fact that Remus doesn’t help shit anything, in any situation ever, with his habit of trying to weasel out of any Emotionally Difficult™ conversations and his tendency to mentally spin most situations so that everyone is going to leave him in the end anyway so it’s acceptable to shut down, close himself off, and pull stunts that more or less come down to, “totally up and bailing on everyone,” which is understandable, given his backstory, but dude, that doesn’t make it okay or helpful??
basically, “literally anything about the characters as individuals, or in terms of their interactions with each other — both past and present — that could potentially cause problems for either/both/any/all of them and potentially make the relationship unhealthy (or unhealthier than it already was, in the cases of Snu//pin and Snack because…… oh boy, let’s not even act like either of those — or any ship with Sev in it, for that matter — is ever going to be ‘healthy’ by any definition)”
So, like? Is Snupin #Problematic? Yes, definitely. Are some of its shippers prone to ship it in #Problematic ways? Oh, yes, absolutely (Hell, the BNF whose art I used to like even flat-out said things like, “Sirius would never be able to be there for Remus like Snape could” and… um? Even granted that this was pre-OOTP: ummm???)
But on the whole, Snu//pin shippers aren’t actually any worse about totally ignoring and/or excusing these elements of their ship than Wolfstar shippers are (and, actually, they might be doing better than a LOT of the present-day Wolfstar fandom, since I usually don’t see any more recently made Snu//pin that doesn’t grapple with at least some of the #Problematic elements of it — they don’t always do it well, but at least they’re trying, which counts for a lot, to me, because most people don’t even try — while most Wolfstar these days flat-out ignores all the #Problematic elements of Sirius and Remus as characters, and of their relationship, in the name of what often amounts to borderline-OOC caricatured fanon nonsense, so…)
(……Look, I love Wolfstar, and I have for longer than some people on this website have been alive. But I don’t love a lot of Wolfstar shippers, which has been the case since the beginning of my Wolfstar shipping
stayed the case when HBP came out and I was all, “Hey, guys? I don’t like this BS Remus/Tonks thing either, but can we NOT erase bisexuals or treat Tonks like garbage when we’re talking about it, it’s not her fault that Molly Weasley is a meddling nosy garbage buttinski who thinks it’s her job to play matchmaker to fully-grown adults who didn’t ask and don’t want her input,”
and is still the case as I’m over here, all like, “ugh, man, at least we used to have SOME people in this fandom who enjoyed reading Wolfstar angst, now it seems like nobody cares about anything unless it’s all fluff, all the time, with absolutely no room for anything else because god forbid you ever want to write about LGBTQ characters whose lives aren’t 5,000% perfect, that obviously must mean that you’re a gross fetishistic cishet and not, for example, a neurodivergent, mentally ill lesbian survivor who feels left out by the trend towards forcing every LGBTQ person to act like we’re happy, all the time, and to act like we’re only interested in fictional LGBTQ people who are perfectly 5,000% happy all the time
“and to decry any and all depictions of LGBTQ people being UNhappy as gross fetishistic straight people garbage even when they were actually created by and for LGBTQ people, only to be misappropriated by straight people, as if there’s no way you could possibly be LGBTQ and NOT feel ~used and maligned~ by depictions of LGBTQ people that are less than 5,000% perfectly happy, even when they are being created by other LGBTQ people, yeah? ……but yeah, no, clearly: the fact that I like angst obviously means that I am a straight person because no ~real~ LGBTQ person ever has any need for those ~gross negative feelings~ or fictional outlets for them, never mind how many LGBTQ people get excluded from our narratives and spaces by this bullshit bc lmao who cares amiright. ://”)
—anyway, my motto has been and remains, “It isn’t a question of WHAT you ship, it’s a question of HOW you ship it,” so hey. Snu//pin is not my thing (it’s not even as non-shippingly interesting to me as Sirius/Severus is, because I love how much those two hate each other while unwittingly being perfect foils for each other), but I don’t actually have any desire to ship-bash it and most Snu//pin shippers are okay with me because unless they’re actually doing anything that’s harmful to anyone else, it’s not my business what they ship
That said: “Snu//pin” is still one of the worst portmanteau ship names ever and it still sounds like a deadly virus or something, but *shrugs* Whatever, it’s not the shippers’ faults that their ship members’ names don’t smush up all that nicely
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