#he’s a depressed fuck what can I say?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I just think that Jason should have civilian friends that the other Bats straight up know nothing about.
He’s casually hanging out mask less with a group of seven or so women who worked the curbs since he was six and he all calls “auntie”. He has monthly meetups where he checks up with some of the other guys from Ma’s school. An ephemeral ex-Queen who used to live in his building. An abuleta who used to pay him to help her distribute food. Other street kids who somehow manage to crawl their way to adulthood and just about every restaurant owner within the bounds of the Alley and they all know who he is, but Hell would freeze over before a one of them would rat because God knows this guy’s got enough problems as is and like Hell are they loosing him again. And it’s easy for Jason to forget that these people legitimately care about him and value his presence but he knows that it makes it all seem so much more bearable seeing first hand that his work’s going towards something good.
Crime Alley loves Red Hood, but they love Jason Todd too
#jason todd#batman#red hood#jason deserves better#and I wish we saw more of him interacting with the community just as himself#he protects what he loves#and what he loves protects him right back#that’s the core of it to me#he can’t just sit back and watch the Alley like Batman watches Gotham#Jason has absolutely no idea he has friends#legitimately none#he’s a depressed fuck what can I say?#the upside of this is that the other bats have no idea he has a social life#because you know what they say? no lie as perfect as the (perceived) truth
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think it’s so ironic that the Pony Express escapes a lot if not all blame in discussion. I can’t even say I am excused from it but it’s just how hard people circle back to the characters alone without considering the environment they were made to be in.
Why would they design a ship where only two of the rooms lock? Not the bathroom? Not the sleeping quarters? We assume that all the companies in the universe are this shallow and careless to their workers but we explicitly know the Pony Express in extra vile. They are fed processed slop pack they can’t even really cook and the ration of those pack is meager at best. They hired and made people with a plethora of conflicting demeanors and beliefs work together on a mission where cohesion is important if not an outright necessity and punish them for not being happy about it. There’s no social protocols, not chain of command other than Captain’s word/choice and the only way to enforce that is with a literal firearm. They don’t allow them to celebrate freely and even took away leisure activities that would make them less stir crazy. They are only allowed a few hours of sleep despite their being no other real responsibilities or work on the ship, no matter the position or its importance. With any crew, with any level of synergy, this was a powder keg waiting for a spark.
I’m not saying characters that made mistakes didn’t make huge ones, but I think part of the horror is that at least for some (this is targeting Jimathan) those mistakes are partly made by a force of the hand. There’s a running theme of lack of choice and being forced into something and the very nature of how The Pony Express expected them to function plays a big part.
#like even I forget that all actions taken in the game were people trying to remain in protocol outside of Jimmy#Anya couldn’t have jus stolen the scanner and got the gun cause she’s a sensible person and knows she’d be in legal trouble#or get everyone’s credits docked or just hoping that there’s some chain of command for this sort of thing#Daisuke only really acted in accordance to his direct superiors because he’s an intern he wouldn’t know the first thing about protocol or#what to do in any situation. like this is essentially implied to be his first real job#Curly may be the captain but he still has to follow rules and procedures and we see with the letter the Pony Express likely has very shady#and shitty ones. he gives the best not depressing or totalitarian options he can otherwise everything is just his word which aren’t even his#or like him just asserting his position with the gun which he wouldn’t do#Swansea follows the book begrudgingly because he’s trying to stay right and not fall back into who he once was#I feel like it’s not incorporated nearly enough that the environment they were dropped into heavily affected their actions#say there was a single person higher than Curly or a plan of action when a crew member is considered a danger to himself or others#I think it’s fascinating how people will stick to protocol and break when they get scared or to their limit#cause the game shows how normalcy deteriorates and I think discounting what the characters where put through by the company takes a way a#real and scary aspect of what happened to Anya because as a friend Curly didn’t do enough for her at all his comfort was there and he#appreciated but it was a distracted sort of care but as a Captain he didn’t protect her but he’s was a Captain of the Pony Express like what#if they told him to wait to? he still should’ve done something because Anya was actively suffering and Jimmy should’ve been reprimanded but#he’s a captain with orders like the Tulpar isn’t his ship in the same way like#god I wanna explain this in a way that makes sense but the Tulpar is like designed to breed animosity and work on the bare requirements one#needs to get things done that’s not how people work and if anyone deviates or interrupts that it literally has nothing to handle it#it becomes clear that if any social unrest happens why they just say fuck it and give the Captain the gun because if something happens the#blame can easily be placed on the person they put in charge despite what they put them#in charge of like this is just like work place harassment irl because often the perpetrators are not punished but the supervisors for not#stopping them with meetings or cuts or whatever but the environment the company fostered is rarely fixed or blamed#like why was this allowed to occur? and honestly that is because Jimmy did what he did#ask me about this if this is confusing cause I worded it crazy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#the pony express
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
so sirius and james trusted each other more than anyone else, was described as inseparable and 'never saw one without the other'. they were the closest in their little group, they had the mirrors to stay in contact at any time, just for themselves. sirius ran away to james. godfather, best man, loved james more than anyone else and was dedicated to him for the rest of his life. and you fools prefer to ship him with ..*checks notes* that other guy?? the one he suspected was a spy?? the one that thought the same of him and let him rot in prison?? the fuck?
explain pls, cause i dont get it
#but james died i hear you say. and they are the only two left?? and yet you ship them at hogwarts??? how on earth?#and also them as adults is just depressing..how could they ever have a realtionship with that kind of baggage#you dont even have to ship james and sirius but pairing him with lupin is just odd#how can he love james the most and still date that other guy??? no fucking way#i love prongsfoot both a platonic pairing and a romantic one because it fits with what we are given#wolfstar is just a huge reach and needs some serious canon bending in order to work#anti wolfstar#yes welcome to my blog i hate that shit as you know#prongsfoot#my beloved
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3
#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#bsd 120.5#please laugh i know i made myself laugh.... if only to keep from crying lol#the oocification of Fukuzawa will be studied in the history books for years to come#that's not my fukuzawa...... that's his discount twin fucksack#because his dick is so far up the ass of his dead pathetic dumbass crusty ex boyfriend it's not even funny#he is dickriding that fucker HARD#and here i thought the FANDOM woobified fukuchi out the wazoo. but oh my god no fukuzawa himself has them all beat this chapter#man is coco for cocopuffs and babying that grown-ass man like he's 5#it's truly pathetic and depressing to see i'm just beyond words#'you deceived him by keeping quiet the issues that would plague a union of mankind' NO??? LITERALLY ANYONE WITH A BRAIN WOULD KNOW#THAT THAT WOULD NEVER FUCKING WORK???? THAT IT'S THE STUPIDEST MOST NAIVE PLAN AND VIEW OF THE WORLD IMAGINABLE????#WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS A TODDLER INSTEAD OF A GROWN-ASS SOLDIER WITH YEARS OF MILITARY EXPERIENCE#Fyodor feels like the only one at this point that hasn't truly lost the plot in all this...... the only one with a goddamn brain#I HATE THAT I HAVE TO AGREE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! I HATE THAT IT FELT SO CATHARTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i hate even more that the series clearly doesn't want us to agree with him and instead believe that fukuzawa is still right#even though he was spouting the most naive braindead bullshit imaginable that early series Fukuzawa would NEVER SAY#WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN BRO??? WHY DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT DEFENDING THE HONOR OF THAT CRUSTY MF THAN#THE SAFETY OF YOUR KIDS????#WHERE DID ALL YOUR INTELLIGENCE GO#i fucking hated the writing ever since fukuchi's plan/motives were first revealed and it was played completely straight (and gay lol)#but to hear fukuzawa actually come out and defend that ridiculous bs is just.......... again i have no words#it's insane. what happened. what happened to you fukuzawa. all i can do is laugh it's so sad it's so stupid. I WAS CRINGING SO BAD.#and was so glad when he finally died so he finally SHUT THE FUCK UP. i hate it here. i miss when BSD was good so bad man 😭😭😭#it would be one thing if it felt like he's so deep in grief that he's completely deluded himself that fukuchi was right and had pure motive#and wasn't an idiotic piece of shit himself just like fyodor#but nah again it just feels like we're supposed to side with him lmao even though fyodor was exactly right in everything he said#when your villain sounds more intelligent/correct than your hero and that's not an intentional writing choice..... that's not good bros!!!#anyway may your stupidity be purified in the soul of your dead bf fukuzawa 🙏 and we get the true you back
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
Why is Erik taking a shower and is fully prepared to fight naked in that panel 😭
my man turning into a baby is a typical tuesday activity but the second he wanna little naked shower fight NOW its suspicious 🤨
#snap chats#cant a man be a lil hostile and naked in his home ... 'his' home ... w/e ...#this is the part where i reward tag readers CONTEXT TIME#i mean. it's not crazy context but anyway#erik went for a swim and As You Do went to shower off once he was done. cant have chlorine in the hair.... gon damage his beautiful locks..#he was shavin in the shower when he hears someone come in so Naturally he assumes the worst as this is Xavier's School For Gifted Youngster#never a moment of peace not even to shower and shave ..#'whyd he go for a swim' I Dont Know he really just decides on that. maybe it was a complex way to give him a weapon#maybe they just wanted to draw him naked and in a speedo I Dont Know 2x sounds like something id do frankly#the context is pretty much isolated from the story- like it's more of a scene starter and reintroduces tom and sharon into the plot#CONTEXT: tom and sharon are Effectively erik's coworkers at the school who caught one of emma's students- empath- acting a fool on site#empath- as it may be assumed- has the ability to mess with people's emotions and so. how we say.#'had tom and sharon distract each other' for a few hours while he fucked around the mansion and more specifically#fucked with erik's emotions to make him depressed enough to give up the new mutants to emma#Hence the mansion was virtually empty bar danielle and warlock which probably didnt help make erik Less paranoid of sudden noises#hence .... razorblade combat time ... but yeah once he realizes its just tom and sharon he's like Oh Fuck The Hell Happened#and then he gets super pissed once he realizes empath kinda tricked him into giving up his kids 🥰#god i love this issue i really do .. cant wait til next month where i can read what happens next ..#'snap you have the internet' OK AND I LIKE MY PHYSICAL MEDIA. plus i like this arc so far i want a physical of it ...#but yeah thats why eriks naked and prepared to cut someone with a razor. you can learn more in The New Mutants number 39 :]
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Small muscle study with my girl! It's about time I get her body type right!
Also goofy little doodles~
Jean talking to others about her best friend:
Jean the minute she sees him:
#south park#south park oc#sp oc#oc art#my oc stuff#south park fanart#jean wellman#stan marsh#craig tucker#when I tell you I cackled#just some quick doodles#Jean will tell you she got buff so she can pick her friends up and hold them#physical touch is her love language#but god forbid you're Stan#she loves that guy like a brother#thus he HAS to be flipped#bullied even#first couple of doodles are when she's in her twenties.#depression can't catch you if YOU'RE BUSY LIFTING#i assure you Craig does not give a fuck what she's saying#sp growingpains
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have to speak my truth. i think timkon clone baby aus fucking suck
#rimi talks#here's the thing. you take a traumatized teenager and give them a baby. you're going to further traumatize the teen AND the baby#you take a traumatized teenager and say ''hey your bff nonconsensually cloned you while you were dead and now there's a child''........#LIKE THATS NOT GREAT. THATS NOT GREAT!#and like. if it's in-character tim is horribly depressed and grieving. kon has just successfully committed suicide via heroics and come BAC#NEITHER of them is going to be a good parent because of how they are STILL TEENAGERS THEMSELVES#and im just so fundamentally NOT interested in seeing my favs be shitty parents who unintentionally traumatize a child#.....hey wait. is that the appeal? to batman fans i mean. since. yknow. that's what batman does--#anyways ive never seen a single one of these posts that suggests the op has even heard of kon's clone rights feelings#clone baby guardian arc in sb94 you will always be fucking famous#but hey i mean why bother being in-character or anything when you can do fluff thats ooc to the point of unrecognizability i guess#this is tangentially also how i feel about people who say steph couldve kept the baby + raised it with tim. bro they were 15#but its soo much more egregious with kon because he has NO ability to consent to this. he is dead.#he forgives tim afterwards because tim already knows it was fucked up to do and he was wrong#THATS SIGNIFICANT. BECAUSE THERE *IS* SOMETHING FOR KON TO FORGIVE#frankly if kon returned from the dead and tim was like hey i cloned you and made a child. it'd destroy their relationship#he'd be sympathetic and he would be kind to the child but his ability to trust tim would be shattered by that#and again im just NOT interested in that story!!!!#and neither is anyone else who does this trope i think because no one doing this trope actually gives a shit about kon's character afaict :#OH WELL. whatever . i block and i move on and also i bitch about it in the tags on a personal post. you know how it is#now im gonna go play some more hades. ive gotta beat extreme measures 4 with every weapon
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
gn lovlies I’m gonna go dream about Umemiya getting bit in zombie apocalypse au
#mari says#when im stressed i think abt killing him multiple ways….hes my punching bag…my little stress ball….#this one lets me have much angst i think#his initial reluctance to tell you but if he DOESNT then he’ll turn and hurt you but asking you to finish him off before he turns???#oooo the look on his face when he knows ur gonna say you cant do it is so gentle and theres no blame at all#fun fact: i loooove zombies#all kinds#hmmm i could make him immune and his reaction when you push him out of the way not knowing that and getting bit yourself?#or him finding you after you’ve turned and he’s gotta put you out of your misery? Dreamy sigh#i started writing a lil bit but ive been soooooooo…bad. lately that i can barely get a sentence out#I wanna write blood and guts and sinew#sinew is one of my fav words#you may ask yourself “mari if he was gonna turn into a zombie what would you do” excellent question imaginary you#i’d probably just let him bite me#but i do have it in me to mercy kill him too ig#but then i think…people wanna fuck the resident evil zombies right? well….#nvm back to killing him#why didnt i do zombies for halloween? cliche#jk i was just in my seasonal depression funk#still am but im trying to get better ✌️
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
parents are funny the way they want you to be open and honest with them, supposedly, but when you are, it leads to some fucking confrontation that didn’t need to happen, and when that happens, it leads to something you weren’t ready to say coming out, then being coaxed out into a still very much controlled held-back version of describing your lifelong experience feeling shame for existing the way you do and not being “easy” or as good as like, your little sister, academically, or as capable of masking as anyone else, and THAT carefully worded recall of just the natural fucking feelings of growing up in a frankly abusive household, resulting in.. oh, sorry, YOUR FATHER crying as if he wasnt just trying to gaslight you into thinking he didnt tell you the other day to Improve Yourself As A Person (right before the conversation about his mother entering hospice so now guess who can’t fucking mourn without associating it with that!) and that he instead was saying Improve Your Situation
and then he like catches you like visibly dissociating, comments, you try and put it in very simple words what just happened (in the same manner you have pointed out every other little thing he does to invalidate your feelings, or as he’d put it, “your feelings” yes using air quotes) and he suddenly is a fucking Psychology Scholar And Didn’t Need You To Explain What The Defense Mechanism Even Was and oh then also admitting to doing harm in the past, saying he had apologized (wonder why i dont remember), your mother(actual psychology minor) getting all “i’m sorry you feel that way” and also after a long ass tangent about there being a difference between “shamed” and “ashamed” as if you didn’t mean the word you say, a thing you did make very clear, ONCE AGAIN FUCKING CRYING ABOUT YOU BEING OPEN AND HONEST FOR ONCE AND TELLING THEM THEY HURT YOU
#its been. a wild fucking semester so far#oh and then also my fucking brother saying it’s like he doesnt have a sibling and i dont give a shit Sooo Much that i made my father cry#respectfully i fucking held the thing that would actually ruin him back.#because i did a fucking interview with his mother years ago for a class#and she talked about the way her mother treated her#when he first found out i was like. violently depressed as a teen#he drew the mental parallel of his mother getting hospitalized#for shit her fuckinf mother caused.#he cannot comprehend the pain he causes.#by all means my morher can comprehend what she does. she just. does she give a shit actually? lol#i feel for him. right now. in his grief process#but the fucking audacity to see me exercising autonomy and telling them they fucking traumatized me basically#AND COLLECTIVELY CONTINUINF TO USE THE FUCKING ABUSE TACTICS#im sure he was crying genuinely. but if i cry it is never genuine to them it feels#so.#yeah.#i havent been on tumblr i had a experiment thing for a class on social media breaks even though. lol. mental health? isolation??#but like. i think just the process of realizing wwwwhy we are the way we are#so immensely fucked up#its been a lot#its just. fucking sad i got forced into THIS conversation prematurely#but my fucking bad for trusting my mother i guess#vent#vent tw#anyway i was gonna push therapy back a week but. oooooooooweeeeee
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
damn I yap a lot
tldr; im alive, sadly im still on hiatus, other stuff is fine now I just have new [physical] problems, you'll know when I'm fully back (give it another couple months) and comfortable, I'm in a [technically well-over] 3-month long ongoing depressive episode [not tryna do trauma olympics or make anyone feel bad btw it's all chill]
so sorry if I've left you hanging [with art or smth], I'll get to it in time, I promise [I may have unwillingly forgotten, likely not but there's a chance]
Hey, I'm alive, I have been for the.. almost 6 months I've been gone. Holy shit, I didn't even realise that it's been that long. I figured I should at least say something in case anyone is worried or wondering even though everything isn't solved yet, so, here. [under the read more so it's not flooding or anything]
Also, I figure I should apologise for venting on main and just leaving it up - this is all going to stay up because I need to keep it somewhere to aid with my memory issues - but, still, must've been a little weird
Absolutely not a good time to say all this [for me bc I haven't thought this message through] but I'm kinda half-back, just on hiatus from socials due to declining physical health. Really badly declining, I need help honestly
Originally, as you know, I was gone because I had a really bad fall out with my mother, but things pertaining to that have been solved now [except me not feeling 100% safe and trusting to my mother, that will never change. She's tried hard, I just wish I could find her reliable emotionally as well]. It's just that, since then, basically, all these physical problems that I don't understand have been royally fucking me up and messing with my mental too. It's messed with everything I love. I don't know what to do anymore.
Oh wait, where I was actually going with this, so
OK nvm I forgot but you'll see me around bc I've been talking to certain people trying to pretend like nothing's happened and I've made the kinda-silly decision to not fully come off hiatus or talk to other certain people before I'm okay again.
#so the post is for the practical stuff n the tags r for emotional btw [or at least I tried to do that]#[yeah just except the para starting with “originally” I'll keep that there despite being unnecessary]#-#genuinely. im so scared. im so scared all the time [most of the time not scared of anything in particular - I mean the physical problems#fuck me up by making me scared and sad and tired most of the time for no reason]#I have no energy and it's all up and down and even though I actually feel okay rn [not good but okay] after literally breaking down an hour#ago I still know this shouldn't be happening#nobody is going to believe me if I say I have high-functioning depression. who do I tell. well they will believe me but how would it help#and I'm so scared to tell anyone for no reason. I'm not scared mentally rn but no matter whether or not Im ok the emotion stops me from#taking action if that makes sense.#--#I don't understand what I did to deserve this why is this happening to me#why are these internal problems out of my control happening to me#I don't understand and it truly deeply scares me#---#I meant to out this at the start of the tags but fuck it I'm too far in and on mobile to go all the way back now#thank you if you read this far. truly thank you because I need someone to talk to and my irl's are not an option for all different reasons#if I reach out to you about smth random please talk to me as if I'm still not half-gone.#feel free to message me whenever about wtv despite the “hiatus” I need it#... if you have read this far for whatever reason please text me that my Rui loves me my brain is trying to guilt me and say he doesn't#[that just happens when I'm in a certain state even tho that's when I need Rui the most selfship mutuals u get it pls help me out]#he. he does love me right? I swear he does I just. can't seem to believe it right now#I shouldn't have pushed all that to the bottom when it was directly telling my mutuals what I need lol#I feel a little hopeless sometimes. that's not like me I'll be alright in the end. no not that. I'll be better than alright I can fix this#I can fix this. I just need help. god I need help.#at the very least I'll be alright
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
just a thought but like. if akiyama, who’s established as being a bizarrely talented investigator in y5, suspected kiryu’s death to have been faked (or at least “fishy” in his own words) basically on the fucking Spot, i feel like it just makes sense that majima would’ve been just as quick, if not quicker to see where shit wasn’t adding up and become skeptical that the whole thing was a coverup. reason being, in y5 he put shit together and figured out the grand scheme going on so damn early most people didn’t even suspect yet that there was any scheme going on. he then faked his own death well enough to get it in the papers and had masterminded himself all the way to the final boss (with some help of course) before things backfired on him. so he’s got some crazy good skills when it comes to reading people, figuring out their intentions, putting puzzle pieces together, etc– way better than he wants people knowing, generally– and he knows the hallmark signs of a faked death because he’s literally done it before. all that on top of knowing kiryu like the back of his hand and knowing damn well how hard this man is to kill, and how prone to running away from shit for the sake of the safety of people he cares about (for better or for worse) he is. he could absolutely put together that, if given the opportunity by some faction or powerful individual, kiryu would sacrifice his identity and status as a legit living person for the assured safety of others, or for yakuza tensions to diminish, or maybe even as an act of self-flagellation.
tldr: I think the reasons majima didn’t go rogue/apeshit after kiryu’s alleged death are that A) for once he has saejima around to reign him in and make it feel less like Everything has been lost, B) I think he’s legitimately known pretty much all along that kiryu didn’t die that day; nor would he believe it unless he saw it with his own eye.
#however. I also think it would clash with his tendency to be way more cynical and nihilistic than his persona makes him seem#like I do think he’d be pretty fucking sure in his gut And with his logic that kiryu wasn’t dead#but there’d be a pesky depressive part of him that’d scold him for being too idealistic or hopeful in a world that’s so fond of#torturing him. he doesn’t think himself Lucky to say the least. but if he held out hope for saejima while he was on death row for literally#years and saejima did make it back to him in one piece eventually– he’d have some ammo to reason with himself if that makes sense#that + I feel like saejima upon hearing him spiral into supposedly ‘realistic’ nihilism would Strongly reassure him#via reminding him that HE made it back to majima in the end. and that saejima himself knows from experience what a faked death feels like#and how holding onto hope Can in fact be fruitful in the end. overall a bad time for majima after kiryu’s fake death obviously but#he’d be surprisingly stable with all that going for him. makes me think he and saejima would really be the ones keeping daigo from falling#apart. considering he doesn’t have basis for the kind of hope they’re capable of having. almost everyone important to daigo dies eventually#his dad. mine right in front of him. now kiryu. boy must have abandonment issues off the damn charts.#I also like to think he hung around shinada a bit after that incident to just have Something good and pure in his life occasionally. but#he’d be cautious and occasional about it out of fear that he’d ruin shinada’s life or cause him trouble#anyway. many thoughts about all this. they didn’t dive nearly enough into the old guard characters’ reactions to kiryu’s ‘death’ so. yeah#rambling#y6#majima#kazumaji
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
what's the ship name for Legoshi/Luois/Haru as a throuple??
#im on season 2 ep 23#atp i dont think legoshi or haru should be involved with louis cause he's pretty fucked up lol BUT#i think he has a lot of potential for growth and that the 3 of them could make it work#IF THEY JUST FUCKING COMMUNICATED#for fucks sake i love legoshi but he's so stupid like just trust that other people can handle the truth and make their own decisions#and louis needs to trust that other people actually care about him and love him and want the best for him#and he needs therapy#also i really fucking relate to haru gaddamn#youd think id relate more to the autistic wolf#i kinda do but Haru is so relatable to me as someone who also is infantilized while simultaneously ostracized and avoided#i too long for someone to treat me as an equal#and her type is me type too girl i get it#we love a big strong guy whos too stupid and kind#she also has issues like girl stop jumping to conclusions and like just say what you mean#they're all stupid in perfectly compatable ways#you see what i mean they're all perfect for each other#dumb depressed bitches who just need a hug and 20 years of therapy#beastars
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
my father telling me how scared he was when i ran away from the house but i cant express how scared i was 2 b in the house
hey, whats up w/that?
#whenever we ‘hang out’ he likes 2 make the topic as depressing as possible by always talking abiut the past#& it is the most annoying shit ever i will not lie BC I DONT WANT 2 TALK ABOUT DEATH & THE ABUSE EVERY TIME I SPEAK 2 U#yk? thag makes sense in my head#anyways he started talking abiut how terrified he was when i had ran away multiple times a couple yrs ago & when i say a couple i mean#i have no idea how long ago bc memory is a bitch#but it had 2 b like middle school - sophmore?#multiple times & like i just wanna shake him bc LITERLLY WHAT & WHO DO U THINK I WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM#GODDAMNN I H8 BING THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS HOUSE WHO CAN EXPRESS EMOTIONS & NOT LET THEM EFFECT HOW I VIEW THE OTHER#‘oh u ran in the park u ran in the park’ i didnt run in the fuckinggppaaarrkrkkkk AAAAAAAAAA I MET A NICE LADY WHO HAD A GOAT IN THE#SPARTMENTS I FRIECIENTED OFTEN WHEN I WAS YOUNGER#i cant express how safe the goddamn goat lady & her kid made me feel vs my parents who started hunting 4 me#like ive been dragged home so many times im not going through that shit again#i miss the goat the mom & the kid we were just chilling @ like midnight 4 a bit#did this turn in2 a vent? idk#i do this a lot ill prolly delete this soonish when im kore calm#bc rn i want 2 chuck bricks in my laundry machine & watch them fly out & hit whatever#im going back 2 watching anime if i have 2 talk 2 1 other person i will actually explode#like irl person not online the silly gay ppl in my phone r super cool & amazing & i love them#im srry 4 bing a dick btw#i cant explain it i mean i could but i cant im just my brain is telling me eveyr1 h8s me & MAN i h8 it when it does#so im just frightened & by golly & am i havign a cheery time yipyipyip#typing in tags is sm easier than in a post bc i dont think most ppl read tags lol#the more i think about my past the more i wonder wtf am i doing here#bc how did i even get out of the house in the 1st place & then ontop of that was able 2 hide#like what……#bc they were fucking grabbing me n shit & they have CARS like i didnt go in the park i walked the sidewalks HOW DID I MOT GET CAUGHT??#MULTIPLE TIMES??? LIKE I ‘ran away’ MULTIPLE TIMES#i didnt exactly run away tho bc i didnt want them 2 file police shit i didnt eant 2 deal w/that & also hirt the pll i stayed over w/#so i always went back. obviously blehhh#ug hj hhhh my heads hurting again this is like the 4th day in a row :((
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Help me I have problems
#seasonal depression especially but hear me out#it has been. two. days#QB has been out of town for two days.#i missed him on night 1. i hate it#i don’t like feeling dependent but everything I did felt boring in the scope of#’i wish i was talking to qb rn’#the fucked up thing is that both yesterday and today we have talked#via text#but that was while the sun was still up or up-ish.#the sun went down and I went crazy#as usual#suddenly everything is boring and my thoughts are too loud#and all I can focus on are all the ways I may have fucked up or been too passionate or annoying#too much of something or not enough of something else#finally I sent#‘at the risk of sounding weird; socially inept; or clingy. things are a lot more boring when you’re not around#WHY DO I HAVE TO ADD A DISCLAIMER TO SEND MESSAGES TO PEOPLE#so after thinking for like 10 minutes I deleted the first part and left the intention- not the warning.#bc a thought corssed my mind asking if I would find it weird if QB or some other friend said that to me#and no i would love it. 10/10 compliment.#and if he were to say ‘same’ i’d be thrilled tbh#so what kind of message am I sending (pun unintended) if I call that statement weird clingy or socially inept?#it’s unhelpful for me#sometimes harmful#and I don’t want to make my friends more anxious than they already are.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
tfw your grief is so crippling it destroys planets and stars without even caring
#tfw the most precious person in the world is gone & the world doesn't matter anymore so much that you go on a rampage just breaking it apart#i think this is pretty obvious but i gotta say this chapter is literally my roman empire and#there is no point trying to spoiler tag abt it cuz I'll be talking abt it all the time fr#and i wanna try a verse where saitama doesn't forget what happened...#how antagonistic he acted ( AND LOOKED ) in there was absolutely maddening#saitama's “THE HERO” loss & how it results in immense destruction vs garou's “THE VILLAIN” loss and how it fixes it ??????????#the moral ambiguity the /fear/ the INSANITY saitama borderlines becuz of how stronger he got becuz of ANGER. becuz of grief!!!!!!!!!#THE LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY ON SAITAMA'S PART ??? he almost destroyed all of earth ( AND ITS PPL ). he doesn't care he just wants genos back#so what if he is a possible threat to all of the universe ???? let him have nice things gdi#sorry abt rambling in the tags I DO NOT have coherent thoughts abt this I can only Scream.#fucking depressed egg man wants to feel something huh. this is what happens when he does ig#⋆ ★ 【サイタマ】 : ̗̀➛ study.
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
im 92 lbs ew im so fucking fat.
#not saying ANYONE who is thsi weight or more is fat. I love yall<3 I js hate myself^_^#I hate thanksgiving like can I never eat again ewwww#I might cvt today I rlly want to#but my thigh already hurts too much#should I post my cvts?? I kinda want to0_o#wow im js like all my top kins… basil dazai kou…. woah they’re js like me fr!!!#dazai’s js like me fr…. like genuinely I’ve never related to a character more#Basil as well. he’s my silly little son#tw sh mention#tw depressing thoughts#tw self destruction#tw self h4rm#tw sh joke#tw ed not ed sheeren#tw ed descussion#tw ed ana#tw ed implied#tw an0rexia ?? Maybe idk what ed I have… Ik I fucking hate eating and wanna gouge my guts out of my stomach when I do#tw ana bløg#anatmblr#shbler#cvtbler#cvtting#cvtting is silly#uzi vents !
2 notes
·
View notes