#its all ao long and HORRIBLE and boring

[silveredsticks]

x

[screpdoodle]

Duality - Chapter One (The Diabolical Ways of the Deciduous Demon Outside my Window)

"KAOS!! Get down here! We're going to be late!!"

Early morning sunlight dappled through the smudged windowpane, the chirping of birds mingling with the songs of the warm autumn wind working its way through the cracks. All things given, it seemed like a perfect morning. That assumption, though, was a misplaced one. At least to the young boy in the bed. He opened one eye, took one look at his window, and pulled the blankets over his head with a groan. The light stung his eyes, making him crave for the sweet embrace of dreams once more. Maybe if he just closed his eyes, it would all just fade away-

Tap tap tap

He flinched, then peered out from beneath his covers, pulling them down just to the bridge of his nose. Tap tap tap. It was back. The warm autumn breeze brought with it that no good tree branch, the warm toned leaves swaying with every tap against the glass. The boy squinted, then laid back down, pulling the blankets tighter around his head. If he just ignored it, the tree wouldn't notice he was there. It would go away, realizing it was a futile attempt to gain his attention. Whatever the tree wanted, he wasn't curious enough to risk finding out.

Tap tap tap. Tick tick tick.

He covered his ears, he wasn't listening. He didn't have time to deal with the tree and the ticking. There wasn't enough time in the world to deal with both. And yet, here they both were. That itching at the back of his mind, and that incessant tapping against the glass.

Tap tick tick. Tap tick tick.

Every moment of silence he could have been relishing was filled with those Ancients awful noises. How long has passed? A minute? A moment? He couldn't tell. All he could focus on was that stupid tree.

Tick tap tick tap tick tap.

In one movement, the boy sat up, throwing his blankets to the ground as forcefully as he could muster, facing the source of his problems.

"For the Ancients' sake, would you shut the f-"

"Kaos!!" The boy screamed as the door was flung open, nearly causing him to fall from his loft, grabbing the pillow in self defense. "Ancients, what is taking you so long?! Mother took Mey to school already, and at this rate you're going to miss the bus! Get dressed and get downstairs!!"

The door was slammed shut just as quickly as it opened, leaving the boy alone in his room. A small room, with walls lined with papers, a soot stained carpet and a desk set beneath the window. The sun bathed everything in a warm light, leaving the still burning candle on its surface obsolete for the time being. Still in shock, clutching his pillow like a weapon, Kaos slowly gathered himself, then climbed down the ladder, still clutching the pillow in his off hand in case he needed to use it. Which he most likely wouldn't. But it never hurt to be prepared. With a huff, he eyed the tree branch one last time, its pesky attempts to grab his attention finally coming to an end. It sat there, perfectly still - aside from the dancing leaves that yearned to be carried away with the fall winds. Oh, how he wished he could join them. For good measure, Kaos threw his pillow at the window, making sure the tree knew who was boss, before venturing over to his closet. His closet was a box. Of course, he had a real closet, set into the wall across from his loft, but he had never bothered to store his clothes in there. No, that was for storing other things. The box did quite nicely for the minimal amount of outfits he owned. Most of which were piled under his loft, waiting to be washed. Kaos half the time forgot they were there, along with some of Mey's clothes that he had borrowed; and some of his brother's that he had… Liberated from languishing beneath his bed with old socks and unfinished homework from grades passed. It was a mystery how Dyskord had ever managed to graduate, Kaos thought as he fished through the unfolded clothes stored within his closet box. Finally, he settled on the same things he always wore, which were sitting to the side of the box. He stumbled back as he pulled on his black sweats, wriggled into his tunic, slipped on his canvas shoes and grabbed a miscellaneous hairbrush he was pretty sure didn't actually belong to him. Kaos pulled the comb through his hair as he scrambled down the stairs, mumbling to himself as he chucked it to the side (Mother or Dyskord would pick it up eventually), grabbed his long coat off its hook, then careened into the kitchen as he put it on. The coat was far too big for him, swallowing his wiry frame whole like some beast made of shadows. Kaos hoped he would someday grow into it, but he had owned it for years now and no such luck had befallen him. Kaos climbed up onto the kitchen counter, eyeing his prize. The cookie tin, his ceremonial breakfast whenever Mother was out of the house. He pulled the lid off, then peered inside - only a few left. Just as Kaos reached his little hand down into the metal tin, Dyskord walked through the back door, tracking mud onto the scuffed tile flooring.

"What do you think you're doing," he spoke, kicking his boots off, never once taking his eyes off Kaos.

"Oh, please. Like you'd tell Mother," Kaos rolled his eyes, sliding the cookie jar back into place, his bounty in hand.

"Maybe I will."

"Then maybe I'll have to tell her who really passed your final exams for you, brother."

The two locked death glares, the only noise being that of the leaky faucet and the occasion chirp of the birds outside. Kaos cracked a smile, Dyskord following.

"Just grab me one too, short stack. Then we've gotta go."

Kaos shoved the cookie into his mouth, then grabbed the tin once more. His face reflected back at him on the polished sides. Big eyes the color of copper, a piggish upturned nose, his cheeks puffed out like an chipsquirrel's, gathering food for the winter. Cookie crumbs mingled with the imperfections that littered his skin, freckles, blemishes, and his birthmarks - mirrored patches of darker skin that clustered around his eyes. They had gotten lighter with age, but they still bugged him sometimes. One little snaggletooth stuck out from the corner of his mouth - an issue that could have been fixed with braces. If he hasn't broken them nearly the day after he got them. He may not have been the 'peak of perfection', but Kaos didn't mind. It made him unique. It made him… special. Though, that paired with his lackluster height usually ended up with him being at the receiving end of a bullying entourage.

"You got everything you need, baby brother?"

Kaos nodded, then hopped down from the counter. "Yes, mother. I have everything."

Dyskord rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. "Backpack?"

"At the front door."

"Lunch?"

"Won't be there long enough to need one."

"Catalyst?"

"Harvested it last night."

"Well, aren't you prepared," Dyskord chuckled. "Specimen?"

"That’s your job, remember?" Kaos smirked. "I have it all thought out, Dyskord. Don't worry."

"Well then, what's your plan for when Mother finds out?"

"Who said she'll find out? The only way she would is if someone rats me out." Kaos took a bite from his second cookie, handing the extra to Dyskord as he pushed past into the main hall. The high ceilings and towering walls making him seem even smaller; like an ant in a dollhouse.

"If I'm this deep in, why would I rat you out and risk getting in trouble myself?"

Kaos shrugged, walking backwards so that he could watch Dyskord's movements. "I don't know, brother, but the only variable that could possibly go wrong is you. So as long as you play along, everything should be absolutely peachy~" He grinned, then shoved the rest of the cookie into his mouth. It tasted a little old, probably a month or two, but a stale cookie was better than no cookie. And at least Kaos knew that batch hadn't been poisoned.

Dyskord chuckled dryly, placing the cookie in the little leather satchel that hung at his hip. Kaos knew he'd probably eat it later. Dyskord could never resist a cookie. "Alright, alright, tiny genius. I'll trust you on this. But don't blame me when this plan fails too."

"It won't. Trust me."

Kaos grabbed his backpack off its hook, unzipping it just to triple check its contents. It never hurt to be certain.

"Communicator?"

"Yep."

"You got your diary~?"

Kaos whipped around, glaring. "It's not a diary! It's my journal of doom!!"

Dyskord patted Kaos on the head, ruffling his umber hair, a condescending smile on his lips. "Sure it is, baby brother."

Kaos grumbled under his breath, turning back to his backpack. He shrugged Dyskord off, trying to focus. Sure enough it was all there. Homework, lunchbox, communicator, his 'journal' - everything important was there and accounted for. As Kaos struggled to zip up his backpack once more, his gaze drifted to the portrait that hung above the door. His family, painted in exquisite detail, framed by an intricate wooden frame. Dyskord, with his old ashy blonde hair (Kaos had suggested he dye it neon green since it was a similar level of horrible against his skin tone, but Dyskord had insisted on vibrant silver.) Mey sat on Mother's lap, creasing the dress she had spent all of the previous day ironing to get it absolutely pristine, because she wouldn't sit still. Mother bore her usual scoul, contrasted by Mey's wide grin. If their expressions weren't so different, Mey might have been mistaken for a younger Mother. Father stood to the side of her, behind Dyskord, wearing a similar expression to his wife. Kaos had been surprised he hadn't been absent for that too. Looking down to where he was immortalized in paint, Kaos stood the front - where the painter had instructed him to stand; wearing a matching suit and tie like the rest of his siblings - though he at least still had his scarf. Black and grey striped knit that was as long as he was tall, coiled around his neck and draped over his shoulder. Kaos never went anywhere without his scarf, and even though he heard Hel from Father afterwards, it was worth it. As Kaos slung his backpack over his shoulder, he trailed his hand to his neck, reaching to feel the soft warmth of his scarf. Instead, his hand only met skin.

"C'mon Kaos, we gotta get going. We don't want you being late for-"

"My scarf!!" Kaos shouted. "Where's my scarf!?"

"Kaos, it's not even that cold out. You don't need your- oooor you can go get it. That's fine too, I guess." Dyskord watched as Kaos chucked his overstuffed backpack to the side, the contents spilling across the floorboards as he raced upstairs to his room. He swore, Kaos would be the death of him one of these days, but at least his life was interesting with him around. Dyskord just wished he wasn't so, well, chaotic. But he supposed that came with the name.

Kaos threw the door to his room open, his breath catching in his throat. He had been wearing it when he fell asleep, where could it have gotten off to!? Had he taken it off when he got dressed? No, it wasn't by his closet box. Was it in his loft? No, no. Maybe it was in the blanket pile he had created that morning. Or maybe it was- Kaos froze, slowly turning towards the window, the familiar tap tap tapping of the tree branch against the grimy glass greeting him.

"You," he glowered at the tree branch, carefully approaching the window. "What did you do with it!?"

The tree branch just continued its endless rapping against the window pane, mocking him, oblivious to the enemy it had made. Kaos stormed forward, climbing up onto his desk, kicking the papers that covered it onto the ground.

"Give it back now!!" He pressed his face against the glass. "Or so help me, you will meet your untimely demise!!"

He was given no response. Not that Kaos expected one. The trees were always conniving, this one especially. They seemed innocent, but beneath that bark was a dastardly deciduous demon, lulling him into a false sense of security, laying in wait. But Kaos knew. Kaos knew the truth about these creatures. And he wouldn't let them get the upper hand. Never once taking his eyes from the branch, Kaos slid open his window slowly, then peered out. There it was, as he had assumed, his scarf. In the patchy grass, between the gnarled roots of the beast. He shot the tree one last glare, muttering to himself, then stepped out onto the small ledge right outside his window. At least that was a perk of being small, he could fit into spaces others couldn't. Kaos stood up, balancing himself against the wall, holding onto one of the few bricks that jutted out from the flush surface. He had done this many a time, but every time he felt butterflies congregating within his stomach, a few fluttering into his throat. The wind in his hair, the view of the forest beyond- painted in autumnal colors of deep purples and dry oranges, the grounds below in desperate need of tending. All of it flooding his senses, paired with the impending damage he would receive at one wrong move. It was all… magnificent. But admiring the view wasn't what he was here to do, no. Kaos shook his head, reaching out to grab the closest branch, hoisting himself into it. The tree may have been a conniving, callous creature, but at least it served a purpose. That being a way for Kaos to get to the ground without completely shattering all of his fragile little bones.

"Kaos, come on!!" He heard Dyskord call from inside. "I have other stuff I need to do today, if you don't hurry up you'll have to take the school ship!!"

Kaos rolled his eyes, carefully stepping down onto the next branch. Dyskord was so impatient. He'd get down, grab his scarf, and they'd be on their way before his older brother could utter another idiotic sentence. Kaos slid onto another branch, this one bending slightly under his weight. He shot the tree a glare, as if daring it to try something, before stepping onto the next one. This one, unluckily, wasn't so forgiving. Before Kaos knew what was happening, the branch had buckled beneath him, sending him crashing to the ground - the branches he fell past slicing at his skin. At least the damp earth was there to soften his fall. Kaos propped himself up on his arms, spitting out a chunk of dirt as he silently cursed himself out for letting down his guard. At least he has his scarf. Kaos stood up, brushing the dirt from his clothes best he could before assessing the damage. A few cuts here and there, his coat would definitely need some stitches, but at least nothing was broken. Kaos scooped his scarf up, wrapped it loosely around his neck, then froze. He heard the sound of an engine revving up, the realization hitting him all too late.

"WAIT!!" Kaos shouted, making a mad dash for the front door. "Dyskord, I'M COMING!!"

As Kaos rounded the corner, three things crossed his mind. His backpack laying on the path that lead up to the door, the idiocracy of his older brother; and the boat that belonged to the very same, the one that was usually docked at the edge of the island, now whirring off into the horizon without him.

"YOU IDIOT!!" Kaos shouted, skidding to a stop. He swore he heard his brother laughing over the sound of the motor, which was quickly fading away. "I'M TELLING MOTHER!!"

Of course he wouldn't. Telling Mother had become an empty threat within the family, no longer holding any weight after countless empty promises of "Mother'll hear about this" and "I'm telling mom" (the latter usually used by Mey) had been thrown around for years. But it was the only comeback he could dream up in the moment. He had other problems than coming up with a witty response that Dyskord couldn't even hear. He'd get him back later. After he was done with his current plan. Then he'd have all the time in the world to get back at Dyskord for being a complete ignoramus and putting a petty act of defiance over the welfare of the plan. That's what Kaos got for letting him in on it, he supposed, kicking a loose pathing tile out of frustration. His kick barely dislodged it, but it was at least something. Kaos grabbed his bag up off of the ground, finally noticing the note taped to it. Have fun taking the school ship. Of course. Kaos crumpled the note up as he swung the backpack over his shoulder, muttering to himself all the while. He looked around, starting to head in the direction the school ship usually docked. It was quite a ways away, so the sooner he left, the better chances he had of catching it. Why it didn't dock closer to his home was beyond him, and despite the complaints he had lodged with the school board and his mother, no changes had been made. Rolling fields of splotchy, yellowing grass were laid out before Kaos, broken up by the occasional stone pathway. Cracking with age and broken up like a checkerboard. The wound through the dirt haphazardly, interrupted by the occasional tree (which Kaos did his best to keep his distance from) or the start of a rickety bridge that connected the nearby islands. On his usual walks, Kaos would have stopped on the bridges, kneeling down and seeing how far down he could reach into the abyss below, waiting for something to float by that he could possibly add to his collections. Today, he had no time for that. Today, he actually had somewhere to be. Kaos counted his steps, glancing over his shoulder occasionally to watch as his home got smaller and smaller. From here, it looked normal. Simple even. But the imposing aura it cast still lingered in the air. The tall spires piercing the wispy clouds themselves, high stone walls and arched windows covered in moss and ivy. An overbearing, ancient labyrinth of a castle Kaos called home. Sometimes Kaos was convinced the place was still standing because of the grime it was caked in, which was the excuse he gave himself whenever it came to cleaning. If he did a good job, he might not have a home to go back to. It was an excuse Mother was never fond of. Kaos remembered one year he had been put on ivy duty during their yearly cleaning. He had encountered a particularly dastardly tangle of vines on the west side, one that had kept him trapped for the majority of the day. Mother had found him deep asleep in their verdant web after the sun had set, and Kaos hadn't been allowed near that part of the castle for a good while afterwards. Kaos sighed, a smile creeping its way onto his face at the memory, his home now simply a silhouette against the backdrop of the endless sky. He looked ahead, finally making out his target. The old barge that served as the school ship. Badly, at that. It was only a few islands away, where the grass was more lush and the terrain less harsh. Kaos picked up his speed, going from a light jog to a sprint, barely feeling his feet touch the ground. He was gonna make it. He could still see students boarding, he still had time, he could still make it.

"WAIT! WAIT!!" He shouted, causing a few heads to turn, but only for a brief moment.

Kaos forced himself through the crowd, nearly doubling over as he struggled to catch his breath, one hand on the strap of his backpack and the other on his scarf, just making sure it was still there. He ignored the dirty looks he was getting as the line began moving again, following the students ahead of him up the ramp. Even from his low vantage point he could tell the state of the ship. Noisy and overcrowded, with just a sprinkle of staff trying desperately to keep order. The chatter of students loud enough to make the patchwork steel hull of the ship vibrate. Kaos found his mind wandering as he and the rest of the students were herded onto the ship like animals, personal space a thing of the past. Everyone around him was at least double Kaos' height, leaving him lost in a forest of legs and torsos shuffling him forward. It would have been humiliating if he wasn't used to it. Ever since he was little, (well, littler) he had been the runt of the litter. Mother had wanted to hold him back because of it, even though she admitted he was smart enough to be a grade ahead. But here he was, stuck in a sea of people all taller than him, even at a grade lower than he should have been. At least that meant he excelled compared to everyone else - when he actually applied himself, that is. It was so hard to apply himself when everything was so easy. Kaos wanted a challenge, he needed one, he-

BANG!

Kaos stumbled back, bumping into the person behind him. He clutched his hands over his ears, the world vibrating around him. He faintly heard the person behind him mutter something as they pushed past, pulling him back to reality. What in the Ancients' names was that?! Kaos looked around, stepping off of the ramp and onto the deck of the ship, feeling the engine start to whir to life. He frowned. It must've just been a misfire of the engine. The ship was old and broken, misfires were bound to happen. But even then, Kaos couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Kaos peered over the edge of the ship, watching as the island below them slowly began drifting away. The smell of engine fuel and strong perfume filling the air. Kaos gripped the rusting side rail, then looked back to the deck of the ship. The talking had only grown louder, everyone trying to be heard over the roar of the engine and of course one another. It was an idiotic sight, people huddled into groups. Elves and Ents playing a quick game of Skystones, a group of Mabu discussing the best way to prepare beetroots for their cooking class - even the Gillmen were chatting it away, all in their own little worlds. Everyone seemed to have a group. Everyone, but Kaos. It wasn't a bother to him, though, not at all. Why would it have been? He had himself, and that was all Kaos needed. Kaos began making his way through the crowds of kids, hands in his pockets and eyes trained on the floor. He slid his backpack off once he got to his usual corner, plopping himself down. He looked up at the sky, watching the clouds drift by, the chatter around him becoming nothing but white noise. He closed his eyes, letting himself drift off, running the plan through his head once more. It would be perfect. He just needed to make it through the day.

***

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[avenger-hawk]

i just read one of your asks about your future fics. have you considered writing about sasukes interactions with karin?? not sasukarin (but sasukarin is still a good ship!!) but i really like your karin meta and would love to see her in your fics, even if she isnt part of a ship!!

wow Anon I just realized in the last nice ask I received about my writing I forgot to mention a suisasu oneshot I started writing as a drabble here…I haven’t thought about writing something centered on Sasuke and Karin, usually I wrote about Team Taka as a team, as in my Team Taka headcanons here, here and in bits of In Power (ff.net/ ao3) and What He Wanted (ff.net/ ao3).

I know what you mean when you love a character like Karin and you want to see her more, even in a not shippy context. And I totally agree that SasuKarin really IS a good ship, the only worthy Sasuke ship with a girl, tbh. (I think Sasuino would be ok too but I’m not interested in it all all as I find it boring, and I prefer Saiino anyway).

(needless to say: SS shippers, don’t read, this is not for you. And since it’s properly tagged as anti, don’t bitch)

It’s only a matter of personal taste, I’m usually more interested in rarer pairings, and because when I think of Team Taka ships I’m more intrigued by suisasu and juusasu that in my opinion have room for both ‘healthy’ dynamics and darker ones. But if I weren’t so slow and full of future writing projects as you read, I’d totally like to write them. In fact, I’m gonna leave some random headcanons here cause I’m sorry I’m not able to write all the things I have in mind and you guys mention, AND because I’m so late replying to this ask that I feel guilty xD

My favourite things to read and write isn’t romance but dark stuff and hurt/comfort, so I would love some hurt/comfort between them, and there is a lot of possibility for this, just thinking about canon. I actually see SK hurt/comfort as canon behind the screen so you may have an idea already, both for shippy and non-shippy stuff.

For example, there’s nothing about Sasuke’s years at Otogakure but we know he was always with Orochimaru, not only training or taking poisons/drugs to get stronger, but also visiting other hideouts and assisting to his horrible experiments as well as seeing/meeting Suigetsu and Karin, mostly, as she was not a prisoner but a subordinate, kinda like Kabuto. She saw more about Sasuke than the others in Team Taka, and this may mean a lot of things. For example like in this fanart, inspired by that Karin-centric filler episode (I think 331) where she witnesses Orochimaru taking Sasuke in a dark room which seems quite creepy and may be interpreted as…eh, you get it. And there’s also Kabuto telling her that Sasuke sought Orochimaru, that he came her by his own choice…that, in this dark context, that he is ok with things being done to him (it’s the price for power). 

So it’s interesting to imagine Karin being more and more intrigued by this person, who saved her in the past, when they were genin, and who now came to her creepy leader that she knows very well, and ‘lets’ him do all sorts of things to him. Some random headcanons coming, more or less connected

-(tw: pain) Otogakure: she’s doing some work and she overhears someone moaning in pain, and she sees Sasuke shirtless, strapped to a table/bed and kind of squirming, as he’s been injected poison for his training and he’s clearly suffering.

(She takes his hand and tries to comfort him. She thinks he was in too much pain to remember but some time later he tells her ‘thank you. For being beside me that day’)

-(tw: r*pe) Orochimaru leaves the creepy room and tells her to heal Sasuke. When she enters she sees him battered bruised and bloodied everywhere, looking in pain and lost, defeated, and it’s easy to understand what happened, and that it’s neither a first nor a last time, but when he sees her he puts up a tough face, cause he doesn’t know her and he doesn’t know if he can trust her as maybe she’s like Kabuto. He can’t imagine that she (like in my Team Taka headcanons part 2) was r*ped too by Orochimaru, that most of his ‘most interesting subjects’ have been at least once. He’s the most special which means Oro always comes to him ‘to toughen him up’ and ‘train’ him or ‘just’ to be repayed for making him stronger, and he’s constantly manipulated by him (that he’s not as strong as Itachi, that he needs him to be stronger and defeat his brother, and so on) and she knows this. She, too, is wary of him cause he might be so manipulated that he supports him and if she says something wrong he might tell Oro who might punish her and she is ok with him now, he leaves her be without molesting her, so she wants to keep the peace. So she’s discreet and heals him, not in the impersonal way Kabuto does though. Sasuke appreciates silently.

-(tw: random violence and blood) Inspired by this amazing fanart by @lisimba-art. Sasuke is trained to use his curse mark, but it’s hard to completely control his powers in that form, with those weird wings and everything. So it’s exhausting for his body but also for his mind, he can’t even think straight at some point, and he can’t control his emotions either, even though he tries hard cause he can’t be weak. Orochimaru makes him fight against other ‘test subjects’ with the curse mark or with other powers he developed on them, and Sasuke kills them…he hates killing, as there is only one person he wants to kill. He feels his body move and he can’t avoid it, he feels his nails slashing another human and can’t avoid it, it’s horrible, it’s like being trapped in a nightmare. 

Karin stumbles on the fighting ground and sees him. They know each other by then, she is worried about him, many in Oto bet on how long he will last, if he will last, when Orochimaru will ‘devour’ him, if the curse mark will ‘devour’ him first. When she sees him Orochimaru, who was observing him with Kabuto, left already. Sasuke is standing alone, a few corpses around him. She approaches him, talking slowly and calmly, to check his wounds. Nothing too serious, the most worrying thing is his mental/emotional state, cause he looks around without actually seeing things, he seems lost, troubled. 

It takes a few minutes for him to see the one who’s speaking to him, and when he does he’s not in his usual state anyway, Karin can tell not just from his chakra but from his body language. He’s standing so, so close to her, his shoulders are hunched and his eyes are empty, or somewhere else still. Or maybe they want to be somewhere else, she can’t tell. She should feel the heat radiating from his toned body -she dreamt of a moment like this- but the tanned version of what is normally pale is so cold..maybe he got so close because she’s warm instead.   

“Sasuke…bite me, you’ll get some chakra back and you won’t feel cold anymore,“ she tells him, but he just hovers over her, silent as a hawk watching its prey, but unlike it, just staring at her. 

“I killed all of them” Sasuke’s voice is low and raspy, but he’s back, she’s glad but also sad because he’s clearly upset by what happened and she knows why. Everyone does. 

- (tw: mentions of blood/violence/r*pe) This works both for Otogakure and for Hebi/Taka travelling. Night time, Karin hears some low pained sounds and she realizes it’s Sasuke having a nightmare, about either the above mentioned moment where he was forced to kill random people, or about some abuse Orochimaru inflicted on him, either directly or through someone else like Kabuto. He suddenly wakes up and realizes Karin was there. She tries comforting him by saying that she knows what he felt back then cause she was done similar things, and also Suigetsu and Kabuto and others, even though she doesn’t minimize his experience (as Oro’s favourite he took more than others of whom he soon got tired). It’s a hurt/comfort moment where they share intimate traumatic experiences and bond.

Bonus dark points if the experience Sasuke had a nightmare of, involved the aforementioned indirect abuse inflicted by Orochimaru but indirectly, through his current comrades Suigetsu and Juugo, ofc hypnotized/drugged/in some trance. Karin connects with the way he sometimes looks at them when he’s more tired and vulnerable, almost imperceptibly but she can see chakra shifts. They talk, he doesn’t say anything but the things he said in his sleep were obvious so she tries to make him admit and he does, as he’s honest. He doesn’t blame them, he knows they were under Orochimaru’s power just like he was during his curse mark mode when he wasn’t able to control it.

He thinks that Suigetsu and Juugo don’t even remember that experience but they do, exactly like he does with his killing random people in curse mode form. 

More bonus dark points if Karin assisted to the traumatic thing cause she was Oro’s assistant too, sort of.

Related to my Akatsuki AU that is mostly in my mind for now (how unexpected lol) and it’s Itachi/Sasuke centric but there’s also a lot of Sasuke interactions (like, with Deidara a lot, I just like the idea) and lots of Team Taka that exists in this context first as Orochimaru’s subordinates along with Kabuto, then as Sasuke’s comrades, cause while Itachi is a full fledged Akatsuki, like Orochimaru (he never left Akatsuki in my AU), Sasuke is not, and like Orochimaru has subordinates affiliates to the Akatsuki, Itachi has Sasuke. Unlike Akatsuki wearing cloaks with red clouds, Akatsuki ‘lesser’ members wear black cloaks like Sasuke and Team Taka wore in canon. They are given missions too, they’re younger and less experienced that the others and their interactions and dynamics are similar to canon ones.

Uh Anon why did you make me think of more interesting scenarios tho, I had too many already lol

[travllingbunny]

Thanks for the tag, @weareagentsofnothing

Rules: Answer 30 questions. Tag 10 blogs you want to get to know better whoever you want, if you want

Nickname(s): I don’t really have any nicknames, at least not once that stuck. Most people call me by my first name, Ivana. Back in high school, people used to call me “Cveta” because that’s shortened from my last name - because that’s what we used to do in high school, especially when there were multiple people with the same first name in the class, and even when there weren’t. Fortunately, no one has ever called me that since.

Gender: female

Sign: Taurus

Height: 163 cm (for those who don’t know the metric system, hat’s a little above 5′4″).

Time: CET

Fave band(s): where do I begin? Depeche Mode, Joy Division, The Smiths, Florence + the Machine, Massive Attack, Portishead, 

Fave solo artist(s): the late and great Leonard Cohen. I also like many jazz singers such as Billie Holiday, Sarah Vaughan, Diana Krall...

Song stuck in my head: For the last few days, I had a really annoying popular song stuck in my head - I don’t know what it is, one of those they just can’t stop playing everywhere. But for some reason, it seems to have disappeared, and right now I have “Ship to Wreck” by Florence and the Machine in my head. I don’t know how it happened - I don’t think I’ve heard it in the last few days, and it’s not even one of my favorites by Florence, but it’s certainly very welcome.

Last movie I saw: Deadpool 2

Last show I watched: Sharp Objects, the first episode

When did I create my blog: I don’t remember, but I think it was 9 or 10 years ago, because I got a notification about an anniversary recently. It was definitely while Lost was still on, and not along after after the season 4 finale, when I started using “Time Travelling Bunny” (because it was a line from the finale and a nick that I found funny) for some of my accounts (my YouTube/Google account still has my BSG nick, FrakkinToasterLuvva, which I created earlier, during/after season 3 of BSG - yes, it also comes from a line of dialogue). But I wasn’t as active for the first few years as I’m now.

What do I post: looking through my tags makes it clear (not that I didn’t know that before) that most of my posts are about: A Song of Ice and Fire; rants against Game of Thrones and its showrunners, the way they choose to not adapt the series, and everything they stand for; then behind that, there’s a lot of AoS and Buffy related stuff (I’ve been mostly posting a lot of AoS-related stuff lately), then there’s Jessica Jones, MCU movies and other MCU shows, The Hunger Games book series, history-related stuff (especially Wars of the Roses), general topics... There are a ton of my favorite shows, however, that I haven’t written about - I hope to make some top lists about The Americans and BoJack Horseman soon. I also have, in my anti tags, aside from GoT, The Walking Dead (which I used to really like), Big Bang Theory (which I never liked) and the YouTube channel Cinema Sins (which is just annoying).

Last thing I googled: France-Croatia. I was walking my dogs when the match had already started, and wanted to see the resul.

Do I have any other blogs: Not on Tumblr. I used to have an active blog on Livejournal, when it was still a thing (too bad what happened to it - the format was more suitable for discussions than Tumblr), and Dreamweaver (just to post stuff on Livejournal when it used to malfunction). I had many Buffy episode reviews there. Actually, they’re still there and the blog exists - it’s just that, well you know, no one uses LJ anymore.

Do I get asks: I’ve gotten a few

Why did I choose my url: See above, under when I chose my url (Time Travelling Bunny turned out to be too long).

Following: 409+

Followed by: 233+ I think I’ve blocked all the porn accounts, so they aren’t among those.

Average hours of sleep: I don’t know, I never fall asleep immediately, and my sleeping habits are incredibly uneven (it comes with the job - I’m a translator who works at home and has no working hours, but has deadlines)

Lucky number: I don’t think I have one.

Instruments: piano/keyboards

What I am wearing: err. this is going to sound weird, but I’m washing my hair (I’m about to wash out the hair mask), so, not much, because I don’t want my clothes to get wet.

Dream job: This one is pretty good, but dream job.. probably a writer? 

Dream trip: I dunno, maybe Rome or Paris or New York? Or even LA? 

Fave food: breaded cheese, falafel, grilled cheese, pizza, etc. Something salty, tasty, not spicy, and without any meat, since I’m a vegetarian.

Nationality: Serbian, but I prefer to think of myself as a citizen of the world.

Fave song: I can’t even pick one band, you expect me to pick one song?! No idea, there are too many of them. 

Last book I read: The Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula LeGuin. It took me a while, because I just couldn’t get into it.

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: Most of the fictional universes I enjoy watching/reading about are horrible worlds where I would never want to live in. Star Trek and MCU are the only ones that are OK. In Trek, I guess the 24th century Earth would be the obvious choice, since it’s supposed to be a ‘paradise’, but I would probably be bored out of my mind, and prefer to go and work on the post-war Deep Space Nine, with working trips to Bajor and post-Dominion Cardassia. MCU would be nice if I get a cool superpower. As for the rest... I guess Buffyverse is OK, as long as you don’t live in Sunnydale or Cleveland or any other place that’s on a Hellmouth. Alternatively, if I had to live in the world of ASOAIF, I could only endure Braavos or Dorne (book Dorne! Not show Dorne - yuk!) Tagging... @jaehaerys1 @misskittyspuffy @miraculousagentsofkrypton @kateofthecanals @ladyofthefrostfangs @eyesofmist @maddalenamackelena @maidenoftheforestlight @annedey @irritatinglyboring and anyone else who wants to do it.

[kiritokun]

2017 Anime in Review

So, it is that time of the year again, the end is neigh, and it has snuck up on me yet again. With the end of the fall season for me only 3 days away, I thought I should get to writing and compiling this list, which, compared to other years feels dauntingly short. With a total of only 33 anime/movies I saw this year, I feel like either I’ve gotten pickier, shows have gotten worse, or there were too many sequels that I didn’t wanna rush through previous seasons to watch the new season. Regardless, keeping up with tradition, here I am for my fifth annual anime review. As always, the top 12 are in alphabetical order and then the rest are discussed in alphabetical order as well since, as you may have noticed, I was lazy this year and didn’t do any quarterly reviews. So, you’ll get my full rambling here this year! Let’s get this party started!

Ao no Exorcist: Kyoto Fujouou-hen

The long awaited sequel to Ao no Exorcist, the Kyoto arc is where the action finally ramps it into high gear. The stakes get higher and the action gets real fucking rad. I’m so glad the Ao no Exorcist got its second season finally, it’s, in my opinion, somewhat underrated as an anime and doesn’t get the respect it deserves. Here’s hoping that the second season garnered enough attention for another season, because with stunning visuals, great story, and music to boot, it be a shame not to continue seeing more of this series.

Dungeon ni Deai wo Motomeru no wa Machigatteiru Darou ka Gaiden: Sword Oratoria

And here we have it, the spin of to DanMachi that focuses on the Loki Familia. At first I was skeptical that they decided to do this instead of another season of DanMachi, but to quell my concerns I read into the manga and fell in love. The motivations you see for Aiz in the story help make sense of why she puts up with Bell, why she is the strongest and overall just a lot of fleshing out of her character. But luckily it doesn’t just center around Aiz, but the whole of the front line of the Loki familia, letting us see how a strong dungeon clearing familia does business, and boy does they show us the business in the season finale.

Eromanga-sensei

What is this train wreck? Another imouto series? Yes, I’m sorry. I can’t stop myself, I’m a sucker for comedy. Eromanga-sensei is great, because unlike its predecessors (OreImo) it doesn’t try to make the viewers stomach that blood relations hell. With an adorable cast, great punchlines, and reasonable visuals, it’s well worth a watch if you need a laugh.

Gamers!

What is this, another train wreck? Yep, sorry not sorry. At least it’s a unique train wreck, with our 5 main characters in a horrible love pentagon from hell. Amano likes Tendou and vice versa, Aguri likes Uehara and vice versa, and Chiaki likes Amano. Seems simple enough, just a love triangle you say, NOPE. Because its all a clusterfuck of people thinking the person they like likes someone else. EVEN THOUGH AGURI AND UEHARA ARE DATING. God help me why did I like this again. Wait the great lolz. That’s why, grade A lolz.

Imouto sae Ireba Ii.

Yes, it says Imouto in the title. But I swear, its not OreImo again. My boy Itsuki here is a light novel author… with an obsession for little sisters. See that’s new. This anime is a slice of life that revolves around the light novel publishing business and we see most of it through the perspective of Itsuki, but Nayu and Haruto have been in the spotlight, showing us their process to writing their novels or anime adaptations. But the cake for me has to go to Itsuki’s college friend Miyako, who is best girl of the year for me. Lord have mercy that girl is adorable. Also this bastard of an anime has the best ending song of the year for me, freaking great song.

Isekai wa Smartphone to Tomo ni.

The premise here was interesting, our protagonist meets an early end in his world, but God having pity on him allows him to reincarnate in a new world, taking one thing with him. He chooses to keep his smartphone and there by gains a interesting advantage in a world of magic, where he is able to access all the old information from his home world (Assumingly an anime Earth), but also gains amazing power in this world. Because God felt the phone was a bit of a cheap gimme, he enhances all hit attributes including his affinity for magic, allowing him to be incredibly fucking broken and OP in this world in combat. So don’t go in to this for a fair fight, but for comedy, bullshit fights, and a interesting take on how a medieval magic world would benefit from someone from our time period came and started just dropping knowledge. (ICE CREAAAM)

Koi to Uso

A society that has a system that will match you to your perfect soulmate, seems ideal doesn’t it? But what if you find yourself fallen in love for years and come your 16th birthday you are matched with someone whom you have no feelings for. That’s the premise of Koi to Uso, and man it’s a doozy. I wish this had gotten more episodes because I feel like the premise was great, even if the protagonist was a bit spineless. Unfortunately I doubt it did well enough to get another season, so I’ll have to read the manga for some closure, but it got my interest. It also had a fantastic opening song, catchy as all hell.

Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku wo! 2

If you read my reviews in the past, you should NOT be surprised that KonoSuba2 made it into this list. The laughs were still there, the bullshit success story of Kazuma never ends. God what else can I say about one of the best action comedies I’ve seen? Go watch it? Season 1 first though, it does actually continue story wise so you need to see it in order. ERIS IS TRUE LIFE, AQUA LIES!

Rewrite 2nd Season

Man, I can already feel how controversial this pick is. A lot, and I mean a lot, of people did not like Rewrite, nor Rewrite season 2. I am one of the few that thought it was alright. I have also not played the visual novel its based on so I’m more forgiving to its faults than most. But I have researched into the series post watching the anime, and can see very well why people were so… triggered. Overall the second season I feel was stronger than the first, elaborating on back story a lot more and giving viewers more to understand what the actual fuck is going on. And you gotta admit the season started off with a bang with that huge battle in episode 16. After which the series I feel took a darker and more realistic turn, which I thought was a step in the right direction.

Rokudenashi Majutsu Koushi to Akashic Records

Yes, another magic world school series. What was unique about this one? The main character is older for one, isn’t trying to fall in love for another, and lastly, isn’t purposefully gimped of his power. He tends a lazier route but is able to be bring forth his abilities to full blast when necessary. I will say the uniforms are kinda bullshit, like how are they practical lol.

Saenai Heroine no Sodatekata 

Why oh why did we not get just a bit more of this series? I’m glad they announced a movie to hopefully finish the story since its so close to the end of the light novels. But this ends up being more of the same, with Aki trying to pursue his game creation dream further with more trials and tribulations along the way. But none of that matters, what matters is we got more Megumi in our lives and man oh man is she still as great as ever. Best heroine, no boring heroine here!

Tsurezure Children

Considering how much I love the manga series, it is no surprise that I loved the anime. They stayed true to the manga and made it a snippet of short stories for all the characters. I only wished it had been 24 episodes so we could have developed everyone more and introduced more people as well. But, its okay, we introduced the best characters anyway with BROTOYAMA being introduced and of course, everyone’s favorite LOVE MASTER! He gets even better, just you wait.

Honorable Mentions

ChäoS;Child

This was just a big disappointment to me, I had hoped it would fall back on Chaos;Head a bit and explain some more, give us an epilogue if you will of what happen to those people, but we just got a new story full force. While the story of Chaos;Child isn’t bad, it wasn’t what I wanted, though man, the movie was something else. Sadly it wasn’t what I was looking for.

Clockwork Planet

Iffy animation, story all over the place, main dude kinda nuts and annoying. I couldn’t actually find something I liked about Clockwork planet. It’s a shame because I thought I’d love it based on the poster art, but, it wasn’t meant to be apparently.

Code:Realize: Sousei no Himegimi

I have a very love hate relationship with Code:Realize. I don't actually enjoy it that much, but its interesting enough that I was not able to bring myself to drop the series. Week after week I watched with half attention because I wanted to see a resolution to the series, but it wasn't very good to watch it. I don’t know what drew me to it, but it brought me back for more every week so I guess it had to be somewhat good if I can't find something I hated either.

Fate/Apocrypha

Man, Fate Apocrypha is an example of why ufotable should be the only people that are allowed to handle the Fate series. While the story is pretty interesting war wise, the character development felt slopy, the fights were poorly animated (til episode 22-23 those were pretty rad), and overall just felt bad. It’s a shame ufotable doesn’t have exclusive rights to fate adaptations, but oh well, it was okay. Hopefully Shaft does better with Fate Extra, but I doubt it.

Gin no Guardian

Normally if a series gets a second season announced and I watched the first season, I watch the new season. Like I watched Samurai Girls, then tried to watch Samurai Bride and realized it was god awful. Well with Gin no Guardian, I watched the first season and will not be giving its second season a watch because it was very boring, slow paced, and scattered about. I don’t see how it got a second season, but I guess some people might have liked it, or maybe since its shorter episodes it was worth finishing up another season? I don’t understand really.

Hajimete no Gal

The boobs in this series were fucking absurd. Who was the character designer for this and the manga? They need to go look at some real women to understand how boobs function. Holy shit was that a problem in this series. Unless the designers only watched porn with very fake breasts, they should have realized something was awry with their boob design. Holy fuck have I been waiting to complain about that for a while. Besides the boobs, pretty good anime, I laughed pretty hard actually, when the boobs were functioning like human boobs.

Hand Shakers

Now, the art style alone was a bit of a departure for me, but it also caught me attention so I gave it a shot. Hand Shakers story was rocky at best, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t actually bad. The concept of not being able to let go of her hand got real old fast, like come on that’s a horrible life flaw to force on someone, even anime wise. But oh well, I didn’t hate the anime, I found it enjoyable at least.

Juuni Taisen

Some people really loved Juuni Taisen, I was not one of those people. Don't get me wrong, it was actually pretty interesting; I enjoy that battle royal genre a lot. But I just couldn’t get behind the predictable episode structure and most unlikable characters. I was glad when I started to like people, but then they’d die off and make me feel like I wasted my joy. So, that was rough going, even if it was predictable in the end it was a fun watch.

Kino no Tabi: The Beautiful World - The Animated Series

Oh my god, Kino is a wonderful anime, but I couldn't make myself drop one of the other 12 down. So no don't think I didn't love this anime, I did, I adored it. The visuals were beautiful, the music was great, and each individual story was amazing. Episode 11 was incredible in my opinion, and a satisfying watch to realize how Kino came to be.

Konohana Kitan

I might be a bit slow, but I did NOT realize that the hotel was a kind of limbo til very late in the series. Did I miss some key dialogue? Maybe, someone let me know. But holy hell has this been an amusing watch. Its been beautifully animated, and on top of that the stories are all heartwarming.

Kuzu no Honkai

This fucking anime, holy shit this anime. I had some issues here. First of all, our two protagonists, like fuck, why didn't you end up together? Like, are you that childish that you can’t accept that you’ve made mistakes but are essentially good for each other? Also; Ecchan; can really go fuck off, her attitude drove me up a wall the entire series. What a horrible personality. God, I think I only made it through this because I was hoping for a happier ending and man did I not get that.

Little Witch Academia (TV)

Very unpopular opinion incoming. This should have stayed a movie. There, I said it. I didn't think it needed to be adapted into a full length anime. It felt like every episode dragged on and on and only felt like it reached a proper pacing structure towards the end when everything started to go down. Had the series been condensed to 12 episodes I get a feeling I may have been fonder of it.

Masamune-kun no Revenge

Masamune really needs his revenge; he went from tubby to abs in a few years. He needs to get vengeance for starving and working out to be healthy. Wait that sounds wrong, shouldn't he be thanking her for making him realize that he needed to get healthy and that she was kind of a bitch? That would be the logical outcome, but no, we get led into a lengthy hell. The manga has started to move towards the conclusion, which I think might satisfy me more than the anime did, but we'll see what happens.

New Game!!

More of the same and that's okay with me! Watching the game development process is fascinating! And the characters are all adorable and relatable! And so well drawn and animated. I really do love this series so much, even though it broke my heart with the last episodes. Oh well, I trust the writers!

Princess Principal

I really liked the series. But, I felt like I was watching the episodes out of order a lot of the time. That really threw the pacing through a loop in my opinion. I thought it was a lot more mature than I initially gave it credit for though, so that was good overall. I'm glad I watched it.

Re:Creators

This on the other hand, I regret bothering with. But I was so many episodes in by the time I regretted it that I couldn't just stop anymore. Man, this was not a good anime.

Shingeki no Kyojin Season 2

If you'e watched season 1, you know what season 2 is all about. Death, glory, fighting, WOO! While we do make some plot progress in season 2, we haven’t gotten to the real meat of the plot just yet, so hopefully another season and we'll get to the nice dark conspiracies!

Sword Art Online Movie: Ordinal Scale

I loved the Ordinal Scale movie. I was able to go see it in theaters and it was fantastic. While original content, it fit so well with the world that Sword Art Online has built. And the magnificent tease at the end. We will see Alicization soon enough boys!

Trinity Seven Movie: Eternity Library to Alchemic Girl

A shame I didn't get to see this in theaters, but man it was good. While not canon to the manga's story it held its own with a very interesting take on the series. I enjoyed it quite a lot.

UQ Holder!: Mahou Sensei Negima! 2

Oh god what a fucking train wreck. Why can't they make a good Negima anime? Is it really that hard to get it right? It was so fucking bad. Why can't you stick to the source material? Why must you skip so much? God fucking damn it.

Youkoso Jitsuryoku Shijou Shugi no Kyoushitsu e (TV)

At least we end on a high note. This was one hell of a trip. The concept was cool and the animation was decent. They had some issues with slow pacing to start, but once the politics and drama began it just kept rolling. I wish it had had more episodes to give us more plot because with how it ended, you really are left wondering what the intentions of the main character are and where the story is leading. Oh well, hopefully it gets another season or if not I'll have to read the light novel.

And with that we come to a close, yet another year of anime. While I watched significantly less this year, it was still a lot I think. I hope this helps you if you are on the edge about some of these, if not, well, sorry I like to ramble. I';m always open to discussion, so if you have opinions that clash, let us have a duel of words. Til next time!

Edit: Apparently my formatting freaked out a bit and I had to fix it, hopefully I got everything, if not let em know!

[doggonneit]

In a Flash of Blue

Fandom: Dramatical Murder

Characters: Aoba, Mizuki, Mink, Virus, Trip, OCs

Rating: M for Mature

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Smoking, Sibling Soulmates

Words: 7,368

A.N. This was originally for DMMD Bigbang 2017 but things happened and I didn’t upload in time :/

Summary:

"Legends and myths tell us humans used to live as individual souls in individual bodies, but they were fragile in that state. Left alone, humans were too volatile and ended up self-destructing. They needed another soul to make up for the imperfections, so humans became two souls in one body that lived harmoniously together and in society."

Usui is the key.

She can lead Aoba to the soulmate that he never knew.

But she disappeared.

Maybe she's never coming back.

[Read on AO3]

They called it an arena but it was just a patch of dirt surrounded by a chain-link fence, hardly anything worthy of a game that used to garner so much attention.

Rhyme used to be one hell of a spectacle, organised battles raging in lit stadiums and televised to the entire nation of Midorijima. Now they were just alley games played for pocket money.

Sometimes Aoba thought back to those matches and craved the surge of adrenaline that came with Usui’s deep, booming voice and the audience’s frenzied screams. It had been a while since he heard either of those.

He ground his boots into the dirt, eyeing his opponents and their avian Allmate. He’d seen the brothers around, always dressed in thick leather and heavy chains that clanked with every step. They were highly regarded in the arena but he’d never had the opportunity to fight them before today.

The brothers strolled the perimeter, rolling their shoulders to show off their tightly coiled muscles and goading the audience into jeering at Aoba. What a useless effort to intimidate—Rhyme was rarely physical between players and this one-sided pissing contest was just a show for an audience who didn’t give a rat’s ass about anything.

This game had really gone to shit.

“On the red side looking all done up in fetish gear, yeah, that’s right, fetish gear, we have the brothers Daisuke-Hideo and their birdy Allmate… Wingo!”

Aoba barely suppressed a snort. Wingo? Lame.

“And over on the blue side in a blue jacket, I see what you did there, bud, pal, mate, love the matching outfit, we have Ao—uhh… it’s just Aoba? Where’s the other name?”

“Get on with it!” Aoba shouted at the commentator. This one didn’t know when the hell to keep his mouth shut.

“All right, all right, calm your tits, man. Sorry folks, looks like we don’t get to meet the brother today. So you lot are going to have to settle for Aoba and his doggy Allmate… Ren!”

Cheers and whoops rose and died as the digital field rose like a tsunami and caged them in an endless ocean of blue, taking all the noise of the outside world away. A shudder jolted down Aoba’s body as his every instinct screamed home.

A moment of reprieve and then the Allmates appeared in their digital forms, barely humanoid and their eyes covered by some sort of accessory. Wingo emerged just as finely decorated as his owners and he stretched his grotesquely elongated arms out and let out a bloodcurdling shriek that resonated throughout the field.

Aoba flinched, but took comfort in Ren’s presence. Ren was a solid and steady form in a signature navy shawl who didn’t bother with theatrics; he preferred not to make a fool of himself and watched impassively as Wingo continued to scream.

Aoba took the chance to cast his gaze around. A field of blue and green grids that stretched as far as his eye could see, and yet none of it showed him what he wanted to see most.

Where did you go?

“Aoba,” Ren said in his deep timbre.

Hope dimmed but still flickered in Aoba’s chest.

Maybe next time.

“Ren.” Seconds before the battle began, Aoba let his fangs shine though with an animalistic grin. “Get ’em, boy.”

 .

 The digital field dissolved back into the crappy dirt and fence arena, and all the sounds of the real world rushed in and bombarded Aoba’s ears. Laughs, cheers, curses.

The standard fare.

Aoba scooped Ren up into his shoulder bag and ignored the screams of pain, physical and mental, coming from the brothers and their broken Allmate. They could heal the wounds on their body but that Allmate was fried to its core. Aoba took no pleasure in destruction, not like he used to, but now he did it because it was easier than letting his opponents come back stronger.

This was the way of Rhyme now, where anything that happened in the digital world impacted the physical world. Ever since the Glitch, as it was known, the rules of Rhyme had been twisted into something fierce and violent. It wasn’t about fame and glory anymore; it was about fame and glory and blood.

All the better for Aoba—blood brought money.

“That should tide us over for the next week,” Aoba absentmindedly said as he brushed past onlookers milling around the arena. There were a few familiar faces who gave lukewarm greetings and he returned them with casual nods.

“It is more likely to last us the next four days,” Ren said, resting his muzzle on the outside of the bag and letting his little tongue loll out. “My body sustained minor damage that will cost us in repairs.”

Aoba pursed his lips. He relied heavily on the money from these matches because they paid for his ailing grandmother’s medicine, and to have such a large portion of it rerouted elsewhere was rather inconvenient.

Ren was an older model of Allmate and his parts had to be specially ordered and delivered from overseas. The cost of maintaining him was becoming unfeasible, especially since he had to keep participating in Rhyme just to bring the money in to repair him. There would come a day when Aoba would have to admit it was endless cycle going nowhere, but for now he curled his fingers into Ren’s soft fur and told himself there was still time.

“Aoba?” Ren asked.

“We’ll be fine,” Aoba said. “We’ll make the money stretch the week.”

“You cannot continue brushing off your own medicines to pay for Tae’s,” Ren said. “It is having a negative impact on your health and I do not wish to see it deteriorate into a larger issue.”

“It won’t,” Aoba insisted, wondering about the number of times he’d thrown his prescriptions into the bin just to scrounge up a few extra bills. No doubt Ren could tell him and give the exact dates and times to boot.

There was another match coming up and from the chatter in the crowd, promising to be a good one. Aoba wasn’t particularly interested in matches outside of his own, and weaved through the throng of bodies, scanning for one face in particular. He found them on the fringe of the crowd, lazily holding a cigarette between their fingers and observing the growing commotion.

Every individual had their peculiarities despite sharing a body and these two were no different, no matter how similarly they tried to present themselves. It was all too easy to see through them when Aoba had known them for so long.

“Virus, Trip.” Aoba elbowed them in their ribs, making them choke on the inhale. “Thought you guys were trying to quit?”

“We were, but Trip was insistent.”

Names weren’t necessary to know which of them was speaking. Virus always stood with relaxed shoulders and head tilted sideways in the perfect picture of patronising curiosity. Trip, on the other hand, always stood back hunched and spoke in a bored drawl like he couldn’t give two shits about conversation.

The only thing they shared in common was their pride in their horrible fashion sense. They liked wearing high-end clothes and they sported a gaudy suit as usual, today a checkered pink and blue. Aoba secretly thought they were colourblind and had no clue how hideous their combinations were, but he’d never been able to prove it.

“Trip, you should be more considerate of your health,” Aoba admonished. “It’s not just your body, you know.”

Heat smouldered in his chest; maybe it was jealousy, and it burned too close to destruction. Aoba took a second to calm himself, sweeping his fringe to the side. It grated on his nerves how others took their soulmates for granted—if only they knew what it was like to live without their most precious person in the world.

But he kept his mouth shut.

“Trip’s of the opinion that we ride and die together,” Virus dryly said. “He’s always been the more melodramatic of us. But we’re not here to talk about Trip’s more abominable qualities—we’re here to talk about your money. I’ve already transferred your winnings to your account. It could’ve been more, you know, if you’d let the match last longer than one minute.”

“Whatever. Sign me up for more.”

“Don’t push yourself, Aoba.”

“I don’t need you to mother me.”

“It comes from a place of concern,” Virus said. “That’s not something to be ashamed of. We all need someone to take of us, don’t we?”

Aoba glared, knowing exactly what Virus was referring to, but not getting into it. Virus had a tongue that could cut through glass and engaging with it would only end in humiliation. He changed the subject instead. “What have you heard about Usui?”

Virus dropped the cigarette onto the ground and snuffed it out with the sole of their polished leather shoe. “There hasn’t been anything new,” he said. “We’ve asked around the different sectors but everyone’s story is the same. All matches running at the time glitched out. When the technicians got the fields up again, Usui was gone and she hasn’t been seen since.”

Aoba let out a frustrated huff. He’d hoped that Virus and Trip, with their yakuza contacts, would have more information surrounding the mystery of the Glitch but apparently this was beyond them too.

“No-one’s seen Sly Blue either,” Virus pointed out. “Why do you keep refusing to enter using both names? You would see a far greater profit considering people love a bloodbath, and we all remember how bloodthirsty Sly Blue could get.”

“He’s not real,” Aoba said. “He never was.”

He didn’t elaborate anymore on that point—all Virus and Trip needed to know was that he didn’t share his body with another soul. Maybe even that was too much information. There were times he caught their pitying stares and he didn’t want to know what they’d look like if they knew he’d created another voice in his head to pretend he wasn’t broken.

“If that’s all, I’ll catch you guys later.”

Aoba turned on his heel and began walking off, but not before one last person chipped in with a lazy drawl.

“Give your grandmothers our best.”

Aoba flipped them the finger without looking back. He only had one grandmother and those bastards knew it.

 .

 Rhyme had always been one of those things Aoba could lose himself in for hours. It was so easy to step into a field and let himself get swept into the tide and forget about everything in the outside world. Rhyme was safe, and it was home.

The only thing Aoba disliked about the game was how it left pains shooting through his head and down to the tips of his hair. It cascaded down in waves, and only hospital-grade painkillers could take it away. It didn’t help that Virus and Trip chose to be jerks today, because it meant they chose to cut him open and sprinkle salt in his wounds.

Aoba found himself traipsing to Black Needle, a bar and parlour hybrid that his long-time friends Mizuki and Chino ran. The three of them had known each other since their early troublemaking teen years and somehow always stayed close.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t our favourite Rhymer finally dropping in for a visit.”

Aoba stepped through onto shiny black and grey tiles, and squinted to shield his eyes from the flashing neon lights. Those obnoxious things were going to do his head in, though it spoke volumes that Mizuki hurried to turn them off and gesture for him to take a seat at the bar.

“Thanks,” Aoba said, sitting on a stool and setting his bag on the next one. “The match today was a breeze, but damn if it wasn’t a pain in ass too.”

“I still can’t believe you gave up Rib.” Mizuki clucked his tongue and gave a sad shake of his head that didn’t fool anybody. Sure, Rib had been great—the physical nature of it was addictive like a drug but it could never compare to the familiarity Aoba soaked in when he fought in Rhyme.

“There’s no money in Rib,” Aoba reminded. “It’s all about territory and that’s not the life for me.”

“Money isn’t everything, you dumb fuck.”

Aoba resisted the urge to roll his eyes and gave a wry smile instead. “Hello, Chino.”

Where Mizuki exuded an aura of warmth and friendliness, his brother was the complete opposite. Chino stood with hunched shoulders and a perpetual sneer that warned people away, but there were times he liked to invade people’s personal space and make them piss their pants.

It happened once, with a salaryman who refused to stop hitting on Aoba because he believed in all of his drunken glory that Aoba was a siren. He’d spouted awful lines about Aoba leading him to water and how he’d willingly drown for a chance to spend a night with him.

It was only funny when Chino lost his patience and told the salaryman to fuck off or he’d drown the dumbass himself.

Chino leaned over the bar and into Aoba’s space, so close they were almost nose to nose. “Rib’s got family and that’s where the shit is. Come back and join Dry Juice—Mizuki’ll suck your dick for free.”

“He’d do that anyway,” Aoba shot back.

Chino gave a sharp bark of laughter and in his moment of surprise, Mizuki wrested control of their body again.

“Shut up!” Mizuki snapped, olive skin tinted a telling shade of pink. “I would not!”

“Of course not.” Aoba appeased him, trying not to let his amusement show but he could feel the corners of his lips twitching. Chino had long informed him about Mizuki’s crush and it was impossible not to poke fun sometimes. “Chino would do it for you anyway.”

Mizuki’s face went up in flames and that let Chino take control again. Sometimes it felt like whiplash with how often and how quickly these two switched places, but it was nice to have the chance to talk to them both equally.

Aoba envied them that.

“I’d take one for the team and blow you,” Chino solemnly said, all traces of scorn and mockery gone. “Fellas aren’t my type but you look so much like a girl sometimes I don’t think it’d make much of a difference.”

“Fuck you,” Aoba said. He’d heard enough jokes about his sex to last a lifetime.

“Yeah, yeah, fuck you too. What’d you crawl into this hole for anyway? Don’t suppose you’re finally reconsidering my offer to tattoo your ass?”

Aoba burst out laughing. He remembered that night with great fondness, mainly because Mizuki and Chino had been completely sloshed and ended up revealing each other’s dirtiest secrets in a nasty cycle of revenge. That was how Aoba came to learn about Mizuki’s crush and Chino’s desire to tattoo a heart on him. At least Chino owned up to it and proclaimed the tattoo would be free of charge. Mizuki though? Still in denial anything ever happened.

“Nah, I just wanted to catch up and have a drink.”

“Sure you should be drinking with that headache of yours?” Chino clearly didn’t care either way, having already brought out two ice-cold beers, and slid one over to Aoba.

It was probably a bad idea but the pain already hurt so much a little more wouldn’t make much of a difference. It would eventually disappear anyway, he’d just need time.

Aoba grabbed the bottle, delighting in the sensation of the cold glass numbing the tips of his fingers, and clanked the neck against Chino’s bottle before taking a sip.

“So let’s drop the whole I’m fucking dandy pretence and do the whole weary customer spewing their troubles to the weary bartender thing. We all know you don’t come here just to say hello anymore.” Chino produced a rag and pretended to polish the counter. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

It’d be all too easy to punch Chino in the face, but Aoba knew with all the certainty in the world that they’d end up in an all-out brawl that would cost heaps in property damage.

Instead, Aoba gave a vague wave of his hand. It was slightly insulting how easily Chino saw through him but it was the truth. Aoba rarely came by Black Needle anymore, unable to find his place amongst members of a Rib gang when Rhyme was his life. Nowadays, he only visited when he needed a drink and a place to think.

He did regret that.

“It’s the Glitch,” Aoba said. The incident had been mysterious and the consequences following it dire. Even the oldest citizens who knew nothing about Rhyme were aware of its downfall and its current pitiful state. “I’m still trying to glean information where I can but it’s frustrating. Everything so far has led to dead ends and it’s getting to the point I’m afraid there’s nowhere else to look.”

“Sounds like your yakuza boys and hacker boys are doing jack shit,” Chino commented, grabbing his beer and taking a heavy gulp.

“They’re doing their best,” Aoba defended them, knowing they were a fickle lot but would put in their best effort anyway. No-one on this island could do what they did. “That being said, I’m screwed so badly I might as well be a cork.”

Chino snorted, almost spraying the counter he’d just pretended to clean. “Tell you what,” he coughed, setting his bottle down with a clunk, “I might be able to point you to someone who can lend a hand.”

Chino, dropping the asshole façade and being actually being helpful?

Hell’s freezing over, Aoba thought.

“What’s the catch?” he said out loud. “I’m still not letting you tattoo my ass.”

“There goes that idea.” Chino gave an easy shrug. “But no, that’s not the catch. There’s no real catch, not the way you’re thinking.”

“So…” Aoba hedged.

“How much do you believe in the whole mystic bullshit deal?”

Aoba narrowed his eyes, trying to see if a smirk lay hidden behind sharp eyes and even sharper teeth. He wouldn’t put it past his friend. “Are you taking the piss?”

“At you? Nah, never. So come on, you believe or not?”

“Not particularly,” Aoba answered. The only experiences he’d had with this kind of thing were psychic weirdos calling him up and coaxing him to pay top dollar to find out when he’d meet the love of his life. Once was funny, twice was amusing, and every time after that was plain annoying. “Don’t tell me you do. That seems more like Mizuki’s kinda thing.”

“Yeah.” Chino gave a strangely affectionate nod. “He’s into all of that mystic magic crap, but I figure it’s more convincing coming from me because you know I don’t give a rat’s ass about any of those cheap tricks.”

If Aoba didn’t know any better, he’d accuse Chino of having him on. Chino was the world’s biggest sceptic and didn’t believe in anything he couldn’t verify with his own two eyes. Whatever he was talking about now had to be really unbelievable, yet promising, if he was forced to acknowledge its existence.

“Does that mean you believe in psychics now?” Aoba asked.

“I believe in Mink,” Chino corrected. “He’s some oldass felon running some oldass shop in some oldass part of town. Word on the street is that he’s got magic in his blood, and sees into the spirit world or talks with them or some other weird and otherworldly crap. Point is, Mink’s been in a couple of times and we exchanged ink for readings. The bastard’s freakishly accurate.”

“Are you sure you didn’t get completely hammered around him and started spilling all of your secrets again?” Aoba teased. Chino had a nasty habit of doing that and oftentimes Mizuki was powerless to stop him. No-one could get between Chino and alcohol on a good day and there was no point trying on a bad day.

Chino ignored the jab and raised one hand to the teardrop tattoo on their cheek. Slowly, he said, “Mink knew things only Mizuki and I should know.”

That stopped Aoba in his tracks. The teardrop tattoo? Aoba had pestered them about that since day one and never received an answer to allay his curiosity, not even when they were drunk to the point of unconsciousness. Neither brother ever broke their silence over the significance of the tattoo, and it remained one of the biggest mysteries in Aoba’s life. The idea that a stranger was aware of its meaning was unsettling and astonishing at the same time.

“You’re sure this Mink is legitimate?” Aoba doubtfully asked.

“I’d bet my soul on it,” Chino said. “The shop name’s Scratch. Go talk to him, tell him I sent you. He can do his weird magic and help you out but I’m telling you now, you’ll have to pay one hell of a price.”

That wasn’t much of a deterrent at all. Money was not an issue, not when Usui was involved.

“How much does he charge?”

“Not that kinda price.” Chino pulled a face and waved his gloved hands about. “He takes whatever shit he fancies. Calls it sentimental equivalency, whatever the hell that means.”

This pricing system was a foreign concept but it did not wane Aoba’s curiosity. If anything, he had been properly baited and hooked onto this strange man called Mink and the strange powers he possessed. Aoba had his doubts, certainly, but at this point he stood to gain more than he stood to lose.

What was the harm in trying?

“I’ll check them out,” Aoba decided. “What’s his brother’s name?”

Chino shrugged. “Beats me, guy’s never mentioned it. Keeps it under wraps from everyone, and he won’t say why. He’s just Mink, like you’re just Aoba.”

“You don’t think…” Aoba trailed off. What were the chances that there was someone out there who was just like him?

“He doesn’t have a soulmate either? I don’t know. You can ask him if you’re brave enough.” With a snigger, Chino’s good cheer returned to full force.

A quick glance out the window told Aoba there were still a few hours left of daylight, so he picked up his bag and hefted it over one shoulder, careful not to jostle Ren who was slumbering. “I’ll see if the shop’s still open then.”

“Aoba.”

Aoba tilted his head in response to his name, and blinked at the softer features that meant it was Mizuki reaching out.

“He’ll take anything, so beware.”

 .

 Aoba hadn’t thought much of what Mink could take from him, not until Mizuki saw fit to warn him. What could he possibly give Mink that had the same value as the information he wanted?

The worries that nipped at him didn’t stop him seeking Scratch out. It was a dinky little thing hidden in the corner of a lonely street. The surrounding buildings blocked off the sound of traffic and pedestrians from the main road. It was a narrow and muted space that soothed his senses and allowed his nerves to ease.

Aoba gingerly pushed the wooden sliding door to the side, careful not to put too much pressure on it because it felt worn and fragile under his fingertips. It opened up to the interior that gave off the same weary feeling as its exterior, dim with minimal lighting filtering through the roof slats and aged furniture warm with quilts and cushions.

What could be seen as entirely in place or entirely out of place were strange trinkets that littered the shelves and hung from the ceiling beams, chains so fine they looked like they would snap with the slightest tug and pendants with strange designs he’d never seen the likes of before. They winked prettily with the soft lighting and emitted warm welcomes.

Aoba cast his gaze around; it didn’t look like there was anyone else in the shop. “Hello?” he called, wandering through the shelves and brushing past the trinkets. “I’m looking for Mink. Is he here right now?”

No response.

Aoba began thinking he had come at a bad time, but then the floorboards creaked with heavy footsteps and a door behind the counter opened up and revealed one of the biggest men Aoba had ever seen. He stood tall and sure, and every action held careful intent behind it. His golden eyes swung and settled on Aoba.

“You’re looking for me?”

When Chino said Mink said otherworldly abilities, Aoba created a vague image of oversized glasses and thick lenses, wrinkled hands that made themselves at home waving over crystal balls and an unearthly voice that wailed prophecies. But the man that stood in front of him could not have been further from that stereotype; his large frame radiated calmness and protection, and Aoba knew he could trust this man.

“Chino sent me. From Black Needle.”

Mink dipped his head in acknowledgement, brown dreadlocks swaying around his square face, and made his way around the counter to take a seat at one of the couches. He motioned for Aoba to do the same.

“Mizuki-Chino.” Mink’s voice rumbled, deep and gravelly like rocks crunching on a mountainside road. “The tattoo artists. They were presumptuous to send you here.”

“Presumptuous?” Aoba repeated. “You mean I shouldn’t have come?”

“Mizuki-Chino have good intentions but they have overestimated my abilities in this case. I know why you’re here. I cannot give you the information you seek.”

“What?” Aoba started. How could this be possible? He’d barely been in this shop for thirty seconds and this lead was disappearing before his very eyes. No, he was not going to let this man dismiss him so quickly. “You can’t possibly know the specifics. You can’t decide already that I’m a lost cause!”

“If Mizuki-Chino sent you, then you know what I’m capable of.” Mink sighed and reached into his jacket to pull out a case which had a wooden pipe in it. He took his time lighting it up blew a plume of smoke up into the air where it swirled with dust motes. “I can see how it danced around your body, broken and yearning. You search for your brother but I cannot help you find someone who no longer exists.”

Icy fingers gripped Aoba’s heart.

It can’t be, he wildly thought, he can’t be dead!

“He’s alive!” Aoba shouted, slamming his palms on the table before them. “I know it, I felt him!”

Mink’s penetrating eyes tracked his every move, steady and watchful, a silent observer in his upcoming breakdown. “You’ve made contact,” he said.

Aoba hadn’t meant to let that slip. He’d held it close to his heart as his own little secret—only Ren knew and that was because he had been there too.

It had been a Rhyme game, it could never be anything else, the ones back in the day when the whole island considered a sport worthy of investment.

And Usui was there.

Aoba had always noticed Usui, fascinated by the contrast between her feminine figure and masculine voice, but respected the person behind that persona and never approached them outside communicated with them beyond a Rhyme capacity.

But the match had gone wrong; Aoba let his guard down for moment and he’d been blasted off his feet and onto the other end of the field. In the moment he was suspended in the air, Aoba’s hand passed through Usui’s and he didn’t know how to describe what happened except connection and a burst of familiarity and longing for something his body once knew.

Brother.

The other soul who should have shared his body, his thoughts and his heart. It had once been his, but it had been taken from him, and he wanted answers.

“The truth,” Aoba said. “It was me. I caused the Glitch.”

Mink said nothing, just kept puffing away at his pipe, and stared down at Aoba with an indecipherable look. Maybe it was condescension, maybe it was pity.

“That’s how I know he’s still alive,” Aoba pressed on, desperate to keep the flicker of hope in his chest burning just a little while longer. “The Glitch is proof that he exists.”

Maybe Aoba’s conviction did something to crack Mink’s walls, or maybe Mink really did feel sorry for him. Whatever the reason, Aoba didn’t care, Mink pulled the pipe from his lips and handed him a lifeline.

“I cannot tell you where he is. But I can tell you how you two came to be. The price, as you know, will be steep.”

It wasn’t the information Aoba came for but it was information nonetheless. There was no hesitation and it was almost laughable how desperate he was to snatch at scraps of information about his soulmate.

He would gladly pay any price.

“Name it,” he said.

“Your brother is important to you, and his existence will grow far more so in the coming days. For this information, you will be required to pay with ten strands of your hair.”

Aoba’s hands instinctively flew over his head in a protective gesture; pulling them out would be a simple task for anyone else but to him it was different—the nerve endings in his hair would screech like writhing, tortured souls.

“That is the price,” Mink said, not even surprised at Aoba’s reaction.

It would hurt. It would hurt like severing a finger from his body and he wouldn’t be able to stop the tears from falling. But it would mean knowing the soul that should have shared a home in his body, and that alone was worth anything.

Aoba slowly let his hands fall from his head. It would stop hurting in a few hours, he convinced himself, the strands would grow back like they were never cut. The pain would be nothing compared to what he had to gain.

Mink slipped a small pocketknife from him jacket. It had a wooden hilt with a faded floral design painted onto it and a string of beads dangling at the end. Aoba took it and flicked it open, then held the blade to the roots of his hair.

Heart racing, deep breath, then—

Scream.

“It doesn’t hurt,” Aoba gasped, clutching the long blue strands in his shaking fist. He couldn’t see past the tears blurring his vision; he swiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket and blindly thrust the strands and the knife in front of him. “They’re yours.”

“You paid with more than ten strands,” Mink mildly said as the tucked the pocketknife away and gathered the strands of hair together with genteel care. He must have noticed the surprise on Aoba’s face because he added, “I know how precious your hair is, and I will treat it as reverently as you have.”

Aoba’s breath came out in stutters but the pain, which had felt like a slicing burn, was already fading to a sharp throbbing at the newly cut ends, and soon would be nothing more than the ache of a memory. The fact that Mink did not trivialise his pain helped him push it aside, and he sat up straighter.

“Will you tell the story of us?”

“Yes.” Mink began twisting the strands together like he was creating a small rope. It was an odd splash of colour on his otherwise grey appearance. “You know how soulmates first came to be, yes?”

“Balance,” Aoba said. “Legends and myths tell us humans used to live as individual souls in individual bodies, but they were fragile in that state. Left alone, humans were too volatile and ended up self-destructing. They needed another soul to make up for the imperfections, so humans became two souls in one body that lived harmoniously together and in society.”

“As our fathers and their fathers before them have told us,” Mink murmured. “They are only stories, and we could never hope to find proof of how we came to be. Yet the story resounds across every nation, so there must be a grain of truth to it. Is that what you believe?”

“I… uh…” Aoba had never put much thought into it before, not being the type to think too deeply about things in the first place. The story of how soulmates came to be? He’d always treated it as a tale that mothers told their children, with no substantial evidence to back up its claims. But now that it had been posed as a question, Aoba found he didn’t have such a concrete answer after all. “I’m not sure?” he offered. “I’ve never had the chance to think about it.”

“I’m offering you the chance to think about it now,” Mink said. “Do you think it’s possible for humans to be born with only one soul?”

“It has to be.” Without thinking, Aoba pulled on a strand of his hair and shivered at the sensation that travelled up to the roots. “I’m living proof, aren’t I?”

Mink slowly shook his head. “There is no human being on this earth that does not have someone bound to them. Your bond exists but it is frayed, meaning you were once bound but then forcibly torn apart. The bond between soulmates is sacred, and someone has caused you the greatest offence by tearing it apart.”

“So I… we… were together?” Aoba asked. “But how? You can’t take a soul out of a body, can you? It’s not… it can’t be a physical thing you can just remove.”

Mink tapped the strands of hair still in his hands, being knotted and tugged into shape. “Have you never wondered why your hair can feel? Surely even someone as dense as you realised there is something unique about that.”

“Hey!” Aoba protested, not entirely sure where that jab had come from but he couldn’t deny it to save his life. So what if he could be a bit of an airhead? His hair was just another thing he’d grown up with and never saw it as a big deal. Apparently, he was very wrong on that count. “What’s it got to do with my soulmate?”

“Your hair feels because it’s alive. It’s alive because it was the only thing linking your to your brother, the only part of your bodies that made you one.”

“Linked… by our hair?” Aoba looked at the strands in his grasp, like examining the ends could give him greater insight into this revelation. “That’s still two bodies, isn’t it? How does that even happen?”

“It was one body,” Mink said. His pipe was still burning away, and every puff sent up a plume of smoke that made the shop hazier. Or maybe Aoba’s head was spinning with all the new information too.

Two beating hearts, one living body.

It hurt so much more to know.

“I cannot tell you the circumstances that led to your separation.” Mink’s fingers worked deftly like he had done this a million times, no doubt a master of this craft. “But what I told you earlier remains the same. I cannot help you find your brother because he no longer exists in this world. He hasn’t for quite some time.”

“How?” The word felt thick in throat, a lump that he had to force out. “How did he—how was he—”

“You do not want to know,” Mink interrupted. “The truth will only cause you pain.”

Aoba shook his head doggedly. He’d come this far to find the truth, and he would listen to all of it because he needed the endless questions and sleepless night to stop. “Tell me.”

Mink regarded him for a moment, sizing him up, maybe wondering how far he could be pushed before breaking down. Aoba tilted his chin forward defiantly—it’d take more than words to push him away.

“You were violent before.”

The non-sequitur threw Aoba off. “Huh?”

“You were destructive, and needed someone to temper the rage that festered within your body. You created a persona, gave it a name and a life but it was only a paper soul.”

“Sly Blue,” Aoba murmured.

“Paper crumbles far too easily,” Mink continued. “Your brother was the same, needing a persona to keep himself sane. He created an extension of himself as you did.”

“Usui.”

That, Aoba knew without a doubt. He still remembered his hand passing through hers during the match, and the shock of familiarity that surged into him because it was home.

“She disappeared when I touched her,” Aoba said. Then he shook his head and added, “Sly Blue did as well.”

“There’s no reason for them to exist when you found each other again,” Mink said.

“That doesn’t explain why you keep saying my brother’s dead,” Aoba said. “Sly Blue’s gone, but I’m still here. Usui is gone, but my brother’s gone with her? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Think carefully,” Mink said, lowering his eyes to the growing band of blue. “What happened after you touched Usui’s hand?”

Afterwards? Aoba had been reeling from the shock to notice much of anything. He vaguely remembered a dark silhouette, a shrill scream that rang in his ears and the field around them dissolving back into reality.

Why did his soulmate scream?

“Blue light,” Aoba muttered. “There was a bright—it was Ren’s. He felt it, the shock. He thought it was an attack and he—oh god, he—”

The Glitch.

Where everything that happened in the digital world impacted the physical world.

“It was Ren,” Aoba realised. “He killed—”

“He was not to know.” Mink’s hands stilled and he brushed a calloused thumb over the knotted parts of the band. “He thought he was protecting you.”

Aoba squeezed his eyes shut, unable to look down at his bag where his Allmate was hibernating. How could he face Ren after this, knowing everything that had been in his reach had been snatched away just as fast as he had found it? How could he use Ren again in a Rhyme match knowing he was the reason he could never find joy in the thrill of the game again? How could he look Ren in the eyes knowing he was a murderer?

Aoba shot up from his seat, teetering on his heels. There was too much flying through his mind right now, a hurricane that needed time to weaken and die. He grabbed his bag, still not looking at the blue lump inside, and stumbled towards the door.

“Is that it?” Aoba asked, keeping his head low and eyes on the smoked wood flooring. “Anything else I need to know?”

“That was the information for my price.” Mink stopped knotting the hair and pulled the pipe from his lips to set it down. “You have, however, paid above that set price. You are welcome to return should there be more information you seek.”

What else could Aoba ever care to know? Today had been enough. God only knew how Mizuki and Chino handled their sessions with Mink and kept going back for more.

“There is no deadline,” Mink said. “Whenever you are ready, whenever you have questions, you are welcome in this shop.”

It was too real, too raw, to think about that now.

A small thought niggled at the back of Aoba’s mind and he blurted out the one thing that Mizuki and Chino had been needling the man about.

“Who’s your soulmate? The one you refuse to acknowledge?”

Maybe Aoba was hurting and he wanted to hurt someone too. Why else would he pry into such a private and personal matter that Mink had gone to great lengths to keep quiet?

Mink stared at him, seemingly calm and composed as though he’d expected the question. “The answer will not benefit you in any way,” he said. “It’s a worthless thing to waste your hair upon.”

“But it’s important to you,” Aoba pressed. “That’s balanced, isn’t it?”

Mink was silent for a moment more, then gave a slight huff either in exasperation or amusement. “Lulakan.”

“Lulakan.” Aoba rolled the name on his tongue, and tasted its foreign origins. “Why do you hide him? Are you ashamed of him?”

“Never,” Mink growled, his golden eyes flashing with indignation. “He is still a part of me.”

“Then why?”

Mink turned his head, the first show of uncertainty since Aoba walked through the shop door. “He doesn’t speak to anyone.”

“Not even you?”

“…No.”

What was it like, to have a constant companion that chose to stay away?

“Must be lonely,” Aoba said.

“You must know what that’s like.”

Maybe they both knew that special brand of loneliness that came with being the only active souls in a body, but Aoba couldn’t imagine how Mink was living day to day. Aoba’s soulmate couldn’t speak to him and Mink’s brother wouldn’t speak to him—there in that choice lay silent and deliberate harm.

“Enough with this.” Mink waved him off with a large hand. “You need time to grieve.”

Aoba clutched his fingers tighter around the strap of his bag. “Am I still welcome to return?”

“You’ll have to trade again.”

That didn’t mean much. No trade would ever hurt as much as this one.

 .

 Lying in his bed with only blinking lights outside and the dull sound of traffic to accompany him, Aoba shuffled until he was on his back and stared up at the rood.

The initial shock had worn off and there was only numbness in his heart and in his mind, like a wall that was stopping him from falling to pieces.

He couldn’t stop touching his hair, running his fingers through the strands until they came to an abrupt stop at the ends. They never should have ended, but instead flowed on and connected him to his brother.

Aoba brushed his finger against the tips, wondering who had the merciless heart to cut them apart and how the two of them must have wailed from both pain and loss. Hurting children? It wasn’t humane.

There was no getting sleep tonight—not even music could calm his racing mind. Instead, Aoba tapped on his coil and brought up a game he’d received months ago. It’d been sent to him anonymously, and there had been no way to trace the number since it had come up as various shapes and symbols. But once Ren had confirmed it was safe, Aoba had downloaded it and spent his spare time playing it. It appeared to be released in parts, and there had been no updates for quite some time. Still, he had to beat the most current level.

Aoba tapped the screen and watched as his avatar traversed pixelated lands and fought pixelated monsters to get to the princess trapped inside the castle. These retro games all had the same kind of theme, but it never got old. This one in particular never failed to bring a smile to Aoba’s face—the character designs were cute and the music was catchy.

Once his avatar was inside, it was a battle against the boss monster who had kidnapped the princess and kept her prisoner. It was a tough end battle, and Aoba always got stuck at this point, but he glared at the screen and tapped so hard his nails clacked loudly against the glass.

Ka-boom.

The boss monster opened its mouth to scream in defeat, then blew up into a pixelated mushroom cloud. The feeling of victory came and went—Aoba was far too drained to enjoy it properly and he half-wished he’d left it for a later time when he could appreciate it better.

But it was done, and all Aoba could do now was wait till the next update. He was about to close the game when the princess suddenly took off her crown and presented it to his avatar. The crown floated in the air, bobbing up and down invitingly. Aoba held his finger over it hesitantly. What was he supposed to do?

Slowly, he pressed his finger down on the crown and the screen went black. Then, one word appeared, one letter at a time.

s e i

[lia-nikiforov]

Winter 2017 Anime watchlist

Lmao this was supposed to go up last week but it takes me forever to write these things up orz.

Anyway, we’re 1/3 of the way into this barren Winter season, and thus my watchlist has shrunk significantly. I think I’m currently watching what, 10 shows? vs 23-ish last season? Anyway we’ve had a couple neat surprises this season, but it’s mostly the sequels that are keeping everything interesting. Also there’s quality hatewatch material which I hadn’t had in a while.

Because I fucked up, this time I’m going from best to worst rather than the usual opposite

Top Priority

Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju: Futatabi Sukeroku-hen

To no one’s surprise, Rakugo maintains it’s tightly written character drama in top form. The direction is still unusually creative and masterful, especially considering this is a DEEN anime, production team deserves every kudo. If season one was a tragedy, season 2 is gearing up for a story of salvation. Every week I go in completely prepared to suffer and am repeatedly surprised by how happy I feel at the end of each episode.  Scenes like Yakumo consoling a sleeping Konatsu with her father’s rakugo or his performing an old play in Sukeroku’s style for Yotaro are as heart-wrenching as they’re heartwarming. S1 was a strong contender for anime of the year 2016 (and for me it was a toss up between that and YOI) and season 2 seems ready to pick on that and go for a second run.

High-Priority

Ao no Exorcist: Kyoto saga

Honestly this one had my full devotion guaranteed when they decided to commit to those thick af Kansai accents. I am also very pleased with the budget this is getting, it looks reeeaaally nice. Kato’s designs have translated to animation greatly (not that this was a surprise since they did that pretty well on the first series too). The plot seems to be moving rather fast so I wonder if they won’t suffer to fill in the full cour (although this arc is quite long) but for the time being I’m excited to get the Kyoto otaku in me continually catered to.

Yowamushi Pedal: Next Generation

I was a Little dubious about how well they’d manage the transition of Makishima’s departure, and while killing him off was rather abrupt to the point I’d even say the guy was fridged for the sake of Onoda’s development, they did a rather good job in setting Teshima as the new role model for the 1st years (who is also very dreamy). I also laughed my ass off with how gigantic they made Ashikiba who is a rather delightful addition to the cast. Kudos to you show, you’ve got me excited in a new season even without my favorite character.

Little Witch Academia

It’s hard to find something to say about this show other than it’s energetic, lively and fun to a fault and that Sucy is still Best Girl. It’s very easy to tell how passionate the folks at TRIGGER are about this project and I’m glad they didn’t give up and continued to work on it even if it was poorly received by Japanese audiences. The show reminds me a bit of The Worst Witch, which I used to love in my early teens so there’s also that.

Kuzu no Honkai

This is such a fascinatingly disturbing show to watch. Like watching a trainwreck I guess, except that it’s not a trainwreck in the sense of Hand Shakers, but in you’re just watching all these horrible people destroy each other and self-destruct emotionally and it’s really interesting. I’m particularly invested in Hanabi’s internal struggle and self-deprecation. Could complete dispose of Moca (whose choice of nickname makes my skin crawl) but otherwise I’m constantly at the edge of my seat waiting for the next developments. I also continue to be rather fond of the vagina imagery in the ending, and I appreciate that there’s actually a show that treats female sexuality in a layered, human way, for purposes beyond otaku titillation.

All Out!! 

This show continues to grow on me with its unique approach to team dynamics. The fact that rugby teams are so big gives us an interesting opportunity of seeing many characters take the spotlight at different times, and this show’s cast continues to be funny and extremely likable to the point that even if Gion has had to sit out most of the games, and even if there isn’t as much focus on Sekizan as I’d like, they’re still engaging and fun. There have also been genuinely emotional peaks, notoriously when that one guy quite the team and it crushed Sekizan’s heart. Also kudos for how even in-show Sekizan’s amazing hair is considered cray-cray

Classicaloid

Honestly this second cour just keeps getting better? I don’t know how they did it but they managed to make me not care about whether we’ll ever get some semblance of plot or explanations, I could watch the Beethoven, Mozart, Schubert, Chopin and Liszt doing nonsense stuff show all year round. Whoever wrote the Fish!Schubert episode should get an Oscar and a Nobel Prize

Here we make a drastic leap between things I’m loving and things I’m just eh-watching

ACCA 13-ku Kansatsu-ka

Aaaahhh what should I do about you, show. Ep 1 was okay, ep 2 was great, ep 3 was kind of nothing. There’s obviously way more than meets the eye in this allegedly peaceful country and once that starts to unfold the show will start gaining momentum, hopefully, but as it is I think it suffers greatly from how inscrutable the main character is. I have no idea of Jean’s motivations beyond his love of cigarettes (and I feel they’re overdoing it, unless they plan to make the tabacco thing a  crucial part of the plot later on, they’re hammering the whole ‘tobacco is rare and this guy is weird for smoking’ thing way too hard) so we’re at this weird position of not really knowing where we’re going. I’m intrigued enough to keep watching, but I certainly hope we get some form of interesting developments sooner rather than later.

Gundam Iron-Blooded Orphans

The writing continues to be notoriously better while the story gets more and more tragic and I still don’t know how to feel about it. Seeing bad guys cheating their way to victory always upsets me a lot, and seeing people die meaninglessly only adds insult to injury. I’m in too deep to drop it at this point, but I honestly can’t forgive how they didn’t even give us that final revenge moment against the Kujan kid. Also every time Atra brings up her dream life of being part of a polyamorous marriage with Mikazuki creeps me the fuck out because obviously Mikazuki doesn’t have the emotional maturity to engage in any such relationship

Onihei

I’m very uncertain about what to do with this show. First episode was promising, with murky direction, but interesting setting. Episode two was mostly unimpressive, the final twist was rather predictable and the moral outcome wasn’t particularly satisfying. And then episode three put me to sleep. My first impression was that the dyamics between Heizo and his thief-turned-snitch subordinate would be the core of the show, but the latter seems to have been mostly sidelined in favor of focusing on the coolness of Heizo. Which isn’t a problem per say, but the execution just isn’t working and they’re completely wasting the Edo setting, with the cases turning out quite generic. I don’t know, ep 4 is already out so I guess I’ll check that out and decide from there (watched episode 4 already, fell asleep again which I guess is as good a sign as any that this isn’t working for me,but I’m too lazy to move it to the bottom. Dropped)

Hate-watching

Hand Shakers

Why is this pile of steaming garbage over the mediocre (and gross) show? Well, this one’s gross too, but exceedingly terrible is always better for ironic entertainment than plain boring stuff. At least Hand Shakers keeps me engrossed with its terribleness. Honest to good, even if I hardly remember what the previous episode was about, I’m always looking forward to the next one, I enjoy the terribleness too much.

Also, this is a little insignificant, but this is the first time I see any reference to the Japanese immigrants in Brazil (th, which was kind of a big thing back in the 1930s, in any anime I’ve ever watched, and since I had to look up into that for my thesis, it felt kinda nice to see it and understand why Brazil of all countries.

Super Lovers 2

This is so boring. Even when they try to address the issues I had with the previous season (mainly questioning the nature of Haru and Ren’s relationship), they always do it half-assedly. No drama, no tension, no resolution and certainly no semblance of any plot progression and it’s becoming increasingly tedious. The introduction of the new host guy could add at least some drama to the plot, but I’m not holding my breath. The dog continues to be cute

I dropped Marginal #4 since episode 2 and I can’t quite remember what it was about other than there was a long sequence of one of the guys desperately looking for his “lucky undies” and I’m too old for this level of juvenile “lol undies” humor. Turns out “not putting me to sleep” wasn’t that strong an asset after all.

Anyway really dead season but the scarce good stuff is really quite good, and the truly terrible stuff is so terrible it’s hilarious so overall the season doesn’t feel as terrible as it could.