#he’d have wanted you to go home!’
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a conversation with simon’s ghost before ralph leaves the island
(ralph has survivors guilt)
#basically a long winded version of ‘Simon wouldn’t have wanted you to stay on the island#he’d have wanted you to go home!’#kinda proud of this#also kinda not#lotf fandom#lotf#lotf fanart#lord of the flies#lotf ralph#lotf au#lotf ralmon#ralmon#ralmon lotf#ralph lotf#lotf simon#simon lotf#I don’t actually ship ralmon guys I’m sorry#idk about their age gap
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ok but can we talk how in Legendary, Antinous asked a question. he’s being as rude as possible but “when’s your tramp of a mother going to chose a new husband” is a question. a question that Telemachus does not want to answer. and yeah, the immediate follow up of “why don’t you open her room so we can have fun with her” makes it seem rhetorical, but rhetorical or not, it’s definitely a question. and I’ve always wondered why Telemachus is offended by ‘tramp’ when the ‘why don’t you open her room’ thing is a million times worse.
But what if Telemachus wasn’t offended that Antinous called Penelope a tramp? The suitors have probably been saying stuff like that for ten years, he’s used to it. What if, more than anything else, Telemachus wanted to make them forget about the question they asked? What if he was just trying to distract them?
#“And it’s not much longer WE can stall” WE!!!!! WE!!!!! HE IS HELPING PENELOPE STALL!!!! HE IS DOING THE STALLING!!!#more evidence for my ’Telemachus is just as smart as his parents’ theory#also the ‘I got into a fight and i didn't die :D’ line actually supports this. he thought he was going to get beaten up.#he thought he was going to be pathetic. he thought he’d be lucky to leave the situation without a concussion#he knew he didn’t have a chance. He did it anyways. he had to have a reason#i do NOT think that reason was “I wish I was more like my father.” evidence? “and I would fight them all if I was half as strong as you”#he’s not as strong as his father!! he knows that!!! he can’t fight!!! if he could he would fight them!!#he knows there’s no point!!! he’s doing it anyway!!! he’s using the Ithacan Royal Family special: deception✨✨#*grabs you by the shoulders* do you understand? do you understand that Telemachus is an active part of his mother’s deception?#that he wants Ody home as much as everyone else? that he’ll keep stalling for his mother even if his father’s dead??#do you understand? do you?????#little wolf#epic telemachus#the wisdom saga#the wisdom saga spoilers#epic the wisdom saga spoilers#nuclear war speaks
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My post about Anya is making like a little ruckus on Twitter and I think it’s crazy how many people like have a problem with it.
Like you don’t have to agree with how I characterize Anya and her actions but it’s more like, why are you focused on only one aspect of her character? Why are you removing nuance from the situation? I don’t see it as giving Curly the benefit of the doubt when it comes to doing better for Anya, but as exploring his character and hers relationship with a the very little authentic facts we get about them. In truth, there’s a lot more I wish Curly did, even if it wasn’t pragmatic but I realize the issue there.
The first psychological horror game in a while that’s real intricate in its storytelling and makes you need to really need to address the morality of intentions and its already getting torn asunder smh 😔
#I don’t know if it’s the case of people who hate curly and think he should’ve just killed Jimmy won’t accept anything else#but I really am trying to get the idea that they were stuck for over a year in space together on a ship barely kept together with wildly#different and conflicting personalities who also got more hostile because they know they are going home to unemployment#it sounds heartless to say and he should have prioritized her more but in his head that’s not the only thing he has to manage and he has to#fit the necessary actions to take in his head with all that including his perception of them as a friend vs as a boss#idk I just don’t believe Curly was comforting Jimmy with the intent of helping him get rid of Anya. he wanted to help both of them he went#about it horribly like the game is literally about realizing how misguided you can be and that responsibility#and how to be responsible look different even if there are better options like it’s just weird just block my ass dawg#also I think the argument of how could the situation be worse if he stopped Jimmy is stupid cause it’s under the guise that Curly would#assume someone he trusted would just try and commit murder suicide or he’d get degloved and all his crew directly#or indirectly killed by that friend like sorry if that’s a reach statement like adding#your supplementary thoughts is how analysis is born but adding facts about events we don’t know happened and treating them like character#truths is lame is a cop out from actually engaging with parts of the story that adds grey areas to characters you wants to see in black#this is just a stupid like thing to me but it makes me sad cause I don’t even hate seeing depictions of Curly as more aware and#accommodating to Jimmy purposely but I need you to understand he thought he was doing the right thing for both his friends and his closest#friend but the key point is he thought he was doing right for both of them like what game were we both watching???#mouthwashing#like just block me pls like Anya would not share ur mindset or hold ur hand like do more than just pity her if you like her so much
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obsessed with the idea of the doctor and the master standing together in opposition to gallifrey post-end of time. less in it being the reality of the situation, and more in it being what the master perceives it to be in the immediate aftermath of being. well. told he was going to be disposed of. the combination of that rejection with the doctor choosing him, the way that sets them up with a common enemy. but where that enemy for the master becomes gallifrey in the abstract with the council as the face of it, the doctor never sees it that way, never thinks of it as the two of them against their own world. the doctor, crucially, kept count of the children. when he saves gallifrey, it isn’t about the master at all, not to anyone but the master themself. because how are they supposed to take the doctor choosing gallifrey over them as anything other than a betrayal.
#the master and his stupid warped sense of importance to both the doctor’s choices and the universe as a whole#which is. well. i mean he’s not alone in that. the doctor has the same ideas about himself in relation to the master. and the universe.#only the universe obviously sometimes validates him because this is a story. about him.#but my point is. the master wanting gallifrey to burn post-end of time. setting up the hybrid prophecy as missy. makes sense to me. it does.#i just wish there was more. conflict to it. more to lash out at the doctor with because the master is choosing him so *why* isn’t he#choosing the master back. why is he trying to stop the hybrid plans. this is what they’re meant to *do*. this is what being on the same side#*means*. that there must be an opposition and that opposition must be gallifrey as a whole. because in that most crucial moment the master#got hurt. and time echoed back because of what the council did to make it so he’d been hurting his entire life. just so they could use him.#you get it? you get it. my fucked up raccoon of a man she has so many issues.#it’s just such a fascinating concept to me because that is still *gallifrey*. that’s still his home. the master is not heartless.#when he tries to connect with the doctor he does it to references to gallifrey’s physical features. this is a place he mourned you know?#in his way. so. you know. how do you look at your home and want it to burn right? how far do things have to escalate that you’d rather it be#ash than a place to go back to. and how do you deal with pushing forward with this plan. when you thought you wouldn’t have to push it alone#like for one minute there they were really truly on the same side. their own side. and then they weren’t. and no one told the master that#they weren’t anymore until she got punched in the head by that knowledge. you know?#rambling again im so sorry#doctor who#thoschei#the doctor#the master
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#okay i actually want to rant a bit 😭 - not advised to read this because then you might get brain damage#because oh my god??????? weird#(was going to write an entire diary but nvm here’s the gist of it)#basically i was coming home from this chem thing right#i used the train as i always do when it comes to this. and because the new station just got a shiny renovation it is now connected to the#new mall in front of it (we have two now it’s an addition to the first one). and guess what 😭#i had to go in and get to the first mall because my dad said he’d just pick me up at the lobby instead of the bus stop in front of#the station entrance right.#and when i was on the elevator going up on a call with my mom about food orders 😭#the guy i used to have a very very VERY heavy crush on in middle grade got to the elevator leading down just as i was on the landing 😭😭#and i had to make sure i wasn’t hallucinating so as he was descending and his back turned to me i examined the back of his head and i’m#pretty sure it was him. curiosity killed the cat i should’ve remembered that shit because you know what my stupid ass did??#i was already walking away on my way to cross to the first mall but then that curiosity got the better off me and i steppedonto the elevato#leading down 😭 and followed him out into (apparently) the fucking bus stop#oh my goddd I JUST REALIZED this is my the one moment help#except i don’t think he recognized me because i was never even friends with him lmao. wrote tons of poetry about him ✅#actually had one proper conversation with him ❌#i was delusional and kept alone with my thoughts living in my head do not judge me#but seriously even though i don’t really care about him anymore this would’ve been (unfortunately) SUPER important to middle grade me#she would’ve taken it as a sign or something and write like five pages about it#and i just keep thinking about that#funny how things change because IF YOU KNEW how many credits and exaggerated compliments i gave him in my old journal#oh you would’ve laugheddd#like i used to SPEND SO MUCH TIME pondering over him it’s so 😭#i used to have an oc and i think i based it on my idea of him and then i think that idea of him was even the reason i started to TRY to#write poetically. and i used to relate every taylor swift love songs to him (esp the ones in debut lover and rep and fearless) IT WAS SO#FUNNY LOOKING BACK AT IT NOW#i think he did see me though. i put on this act as if i was searching for someone confused and then (my go to) pretended someone called me#and then i whisked off as if to find that someone#i’d like to think i look pretty cool though. not because of anything (def not my looks because i was SO TIRED from that extra chem lessons
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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Me at work: *Talks on the phone constantly, every day, Monday to Friday, no problem*
Me at home: *Makes a phone call and end up sweating profusely*
#no but I’ve always hated talking on the phone#and then I ended up working as a temp#and I have to take calls and make calls every day and I was surprised that I was fine doing it#and now I had to make a phonecall because I’m planning on buying a cat for my brother#and I was honestly sweating when I hung up#I’ve never been as much of an adult as I was in that moment when I called the person with the cat#to set up a time to go see it#great scott my life is heavy#also kind of funny but I went downstairs to ask my mum if she wants to come with me#to look and my dad was like to look at what??#and I was like 😬 I think you know haha#he said that after our last cat passed away in 2021 at the age of 18 that there would be no more cats#yeah… he said that before we got her too#we already had a cat then and I came home like there’s a classmate that has kittens and we need to get one!#and my dad was like nope and my mum went to pick one out#and he loved her he’s a softie and honestly he’d never say no to getting a pet#he’s just being a dad about it
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sleepy bc I accidentally stayed up late monologuing to myself about how free! really should have ended for the nth time 🥴
#imagine haru saying what he said to rin at the end of fs1 right. the ‘you always run away’ or w/e#and he’s angry but also upset w himself for saying it when he doesn’t REALLY mean it#and now he’s afraid he’s going to hurt his other friends so he secluded himself and throws himself into swimming#but his body is still shutting down! and albert is the one to say something#he says how he admired haru’s swimming. how the water favored him. but now something’s different. something’s wrong#and he says something that gets haru to listen. maybe haru’s a little stubborn and is like ‘stay out of this’ but it still gets#under his skin. so either he just goes to iwatobi or azuma tells him to#and he wanders around reliving memories. but they’re sort of staled now. he feels like he has no emotions. it’s like the start of s1 again#then he goes to their time capsule. and he digs it up. and inside are all their letters and the footage we saw of all his friends at the#beginning of fs1 on a dvd or thumb drive or smthn#he takes it home to his empty iwatobi house and plays it#at this point he is thinking about quitting. but then HE would be the one running away. and that fight with rin stings even more#and he doesn’t want to let his friends down. not when almost all of them are swimming Because of him#he’s so scared they’ll hate him or br angry. he wants to quit but he feels like he can’t bc who is he without swimming?#but then he watches the videos. and it mentions swimming sure. but he realizes all of his friends love him for HIM#and he can go back to tokyo and tell them everything he’s been thinking. about how he’s gonna quit. bc he just can’t do it#and of course they all support it. makoto does right out the gate. as does nagisa. rei cries a little bit he’d rather haru be happy#very similar to his choice in s1. he’s sad he can’t swim with haru. but he understood that the friendship comes first#and rin is maybe pissed. but you know he can’t be pissed for long. and he apologizes for putting haru on a pedestal#and then haru’s like well… I have to swim one final relay. so they sneak in and explain to the teammates at the last second and swap places#(none of that talking to the coach shit. I want them to commit crimes like they did in s1)#and they don’t care about winning they don’t care what the results are. they just want to see one final sight. share one final swim together#and it makes haru strong. but he’s accepted that competitive swimming isn’t for him. and he quits happily#maybe becomes a coach of sorts alongside makoto#anyway. stayed up late thinking abt it and now I’m in bed late writing it out#I did Not mean to do it it just Possesses me#i say things
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I just hate men god they’re literally scaring me and i have no idea how am i supposed to end up marring a man because i just CANT trust them. I just can’t see myself believing a man who says “i love you”. They’re just TERRIFY me. I used to love the idea of being in love and romance and all that but as i grew older it’s just scary to love someone and just give yourself to them when I hear all those stories about men that just proves me that I shouldn’t trust them
Sorry i just read what you wrote and i had to get it out of me😭😭
Literally me. LITERALLY me!!! Like… the absolute horror cheating stories you read about on tiktok!! It’s insane! But I keep reminding myself that not every man is like that, and we only hear about the handful of bad stories bc the stories of the good men aren’t newsworthy etc.
#bro but like… everywhere around me I see men being assholes#btw this ask is in reference to a post I made and deleted#and you know there was ANOTHER manager there#higher up than the one I was talking about#and he was also married/had a child/was in his 30s#and he was sooo touchy with me#and kissed my cheek/forehead all the time#like???? bro you have a whole family pls chill#and he’d always want to drive me home#and I’d always say no 😭😭😭😂😂😂#like you know at least AT LEAST the other one was hot#this one wasn’t even hot#like???#bro chill#go home to your wife#anon
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I love making new dark urge playthroughs and thinking of so much story for who the guardian appears as and this whole life they’ll not remember and-
#delver had a HUSBAND#IM JUST STARTING ON SOLITUDE BUT THEY GOT THEIR BESTIE A LIL KILLED OOPSIES#NOCTIS’S GUARDIAN WAS A CLASSMATE. A HOMOEROTIC WIZARD RIVAL#DELVER HAD A HUSBAND!!! THEY GOT TATTOOS AND SCARS TOGETHER!!!! BOTH THEIR HAIR IS STAINED AT THE ENDS WITH THE SAME RED!!! HE DOESNT EVEN A#LITTLE BIT REMEMBER WHY THE RITUAL OF IT IS SO IMPORTANT BUT HE HOLDS TO IT NONETHELESS!!!!#bg3 posting#ANYMEOW somethin somethin solitude and solace both aimin 2 be clerics. and then oopsies :P durge stuffs. and ummmm. they never quite got#over the lonely feeling. I love giving my dark urges names that they choose as soon as they hop out of the pod.#damsel picked hers a ways later tho. she thought it was funny. in my heart gortash thinks it’s MUCH LESS funny. sometimes what used to be an#act is what carries through you in spite of everything. and the people you knew wonder how much of an act it really was. and neither of you#will ever have the answer.#pointy tho. that was always his name. he WAS big scary evil. but um. now big softy <3 something something claws grown and refined for#ripping flesh and tendons turning solely to use in making little oragami stars. do u see it. he’s so sillies to me and I love him. he#absolutey woke everyone up SOBBING after ****** by the way. that guy WAS built for this shit but he soooo doesn’t wanna be. he wants to go#home (please do not send him home he’d get eaten alive now just hold him soso soft)
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i thought i’d have today to myself but i was wrong and now im nonverbal at the function :’)
#to delete#my sister is forcing me to go black friday shopping w her and our brother bc he said he’d only go if i did#and my sister the type to throw a fit if i don’t do what she wants so i have to go#literally haven’t had a day alone to lay in bed and rot and recharge in several weeks#i’m probably gonna skip our friendsgiving now bc i feel like i’m gonna cry i cant be around people anymore#today was supposed to be my recharge for tomorrow but unfortunately i was gifted w a sister who only cares about herself <3#she knew i was pissed too but never once was like ‘it’s okay you don’t have to go’#when i was like ‘ugh well i guess that means i HAVE to go now right?’ she just went ‘yeah…’#if the roles were reversed though she’d be like ‘well i’m staying home’#this bitch is literally just like our mother smfh
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y’know just as soon as i start getting comfortable with the idea of being open/relying on my dad and him being more comfortable with my choices than i feared, i can essentially throw all that out the window with how vehemently he yelled at me at the thought of my getting my septum pierced (even though i never said i was yet. i said my side before i decide anything else). also making underhanded remarks of me never getting tattoos other than the one for my mom. like okay don’t ask me why i don’t tell you about anything or talk to you or anything. what the fuck.
#‘i love you no matter what’ and ‘you’re an adult and as long as your choices make you happy’ out the window i guess.#are we too sober for those statements to apply all of a sudden?#and again i didn’t even say i was getting it any time soon. i said my sister wants to take me to get my first non-ear piercing.#she’s getting hers repierced & i want to get my side.#and then he started going off on me for it for no reason. and brought up the one tattoo i want to get for my mom.#and THEN made an off handed remark of a similar vein about dyed hair.#i hope he knows he’s literally the only reason i don’t have piercings or tattoos or dyed hair or like anything that lets me look how i wanna#like deadass. i know i’m your ‘baby.’ but can i please actually embrace myself. i don’t care if you don’t like alt culture. i do.#he would shun the girls i crush on fr like oh my god.#like if he knew what i really wanted to look like i think he’d disown me. won’t even have to bring up my funky relationship with gender.#literally as soon as i start thinking i can be open with this man he pulls this shit and then asks why i’m slowly getting more distant.#like wow it’s almost like i’ve been regulated and raised according to what you want and not what i want.#and you wonder why my sisters (especially my oldest who has a lot of piercings & tattoos like i want) aren’t close either? isn’t that wild?#how we never got much of a chance to explore this without reprimand until we were moved out? even as legal adults?#absolutely WILD correlation there i wonder if the causation lines up here pa. what the fuck.#anyway i’m gonna go now and not cry because my roommates are home but i’m gonna go sulk because i’m sick of this ✌️#oh wait convenient that the showdog poem went up tonight too isn’t that crazy. man calls himself out so hard lol#grace being stupid#text post#personal
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Unironically this would be a harem anime I’d watch. I just think it’d be funny for a group of women to decide that’s a project of a man and by god they’re forklift certified
#something you think is going to be trash but suddenly hits you from left field with relatability#like the guys life has spiraled out of control and he’s cut himself off from others as a form of self protection#he only works and goes home#his house is a wreck#and he’s living off of depression meals#not sure how he’d meet these girls#but he does the same thing as usual and tries to wall himself off from like a new neighbor or something#but she’s going to befriend him if he likes it or not#probably half way through the series he’d really fuck up and actually push the girls away#and he spirals#and it’s an ugly spiral#the girls kinda give up#but he realizes it was his fault and if he wants to be better he has to do better#he apologizes to each of them#I think some will end up not actually forgiving him#but the bridge fire has been put out#and he starts changing for the better instead of being pushed into it#he wants to be better!#he wants to stop wallowing in his own misery!#he just didn’t think there was anything in life worth getting better for#but he almost lost his new friends! and that scared him to be alone again#I think in the first half he’d be that horrible characture of the cool nihilist#the one all self proclaimed alpha male lone wolves gravitate towards and idealize#but he’s sad and miserable and the cool devil may care attitude is shown for what it is#a wall to try to protect yourself from others#maybe he was hurt before#we won’t talk about that it’s in the past he’s passed it#(he hasn’t he just amputated his own emotions)#maybe some iconography of a wolf nawing it’s leg off trapped in a bear trap to drive the image home#having that happen on the meet cute with the new neighbor maybe?
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This has to be an AU already right? I’ve never seen it. I’m doing it. My city now
The angst potential alone haunts me. How long do you think he waited for Ford?? When did it start to sink in that nobody was coming to save him, that nobody would miss him? Would anybody even want him back? How long did it take for his anger, his heartbreak, his grief to turn into acceptance and a belief that this was divine retribution? How long did he work, how many jobs did he take, how much wealth did he accrue, how many brushes with death did he have until he believed he’d “earned” the right to go home and see his brother?? Many such questions. I need to go deeper
#also the kids aren’t involved. Ford had to take Stanley’s name after an ‘incident’ and their parents dont want them near a convict#ooh that would be fun. imagine Ford pretending to be Stanley and seeing FIRST HAND how his parents treated him. ouch#gravity falls#gravity falls au#stanley pines#grunkle stan#stanley gets portal-ed au#stan pines#gf#reverse portal au
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 64
Chapter; Highlights
Hours later, Yrene was still shaking.
At the disaster they'd narrowly avoided, at the deaths she'd witnessed before that wave had struck, at the power of the queen on the plain. The power of the prince who had prevented the ensuing steam from boiling alive any caught in its path.
Yrene had thrown herself back into healing during the chaos since. Had left the royals and their commanders to oversee the aftermath, and had returned to the Great Hall. Healers drifted onto the battlefield, searching for those in need of help.
All of them, every single person in the keep or the skies or on the battlefield, kept glancing toward the now-empty gap between two mountain peaks. Toward the flooded, decimated city, and the demarcation line between life and death. Water and debris had destroyed most of Anielle, the former now trickling toward the Silver Lake.
A vision of what would have been left of them, were it not for Aelin Galathynius.
She'd been asked to inspect the queen when she'd been carried in to a private chamber by Prince Rowan, the two of them borne off the plain by Nesryn. Yrene hadn't been able to stop her hands from shaking as she'd hovered them over Aelin's unconscious body.
There had been no sign of harm beyond a few already-healing cuts and slices from the battle itself.
Nothing at all beyond a sleeping, tired woman.
Who held the might of a god within her veins.
Yrene had then inspected Prince Rowan, who looked in far worse shape, a sizable gash snaking down his thigh. But he'd waved her off, claiming he'd come too near a burnout, and just needed to rest as well.
So Yrene had left them, only to tend to another.
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To Lorcan, whose injuries ... Yrene had needed to summon Hafiza to help her with some of it. To lend her power, since Yrene's had been so depleted.
The unconscious warrior, who had apparently tumbled right off Farasha as he and Elide had passed through the gates, didn't so much as stir while they worked on him.
That had been hours ago. Days ago, it felt.
Yes, she needed to rest.
But a horn, clear and bright, blared from outside.
Everyone halted-then rushed to the windows. Yrene's smile grew as she, too, found a place to peek out over the battlefield.
To where the rest of the khagan's army, Prince Kashin at its front, marched toward them.
Thank the gods. Everyone in the hall muttered similar words.
From the keep, an answering horn sang its welcome.
Not just one army had been spared here today, Yrene realized as she turned back to the water station. If that wave had reached Kashin.
…
Lucky. They had all been so, so very lucky.
Yet Yrene wondered how long that luck would last.
If it would see them through the brutal march northward, and to the walls of Orynth itself.
Lorcan let out a low groan as he surfaced from the warm, heavy embrace of darkness.
"You are one lucky bastard."
Too soon. Too damn soon after hovering near death to hear Fenrys's drawl.
Fenrys's smirk was a slash of white.
"You've been out for a day. I drew the short stick and had to look after you."
A lie. For whatever reason, Fenrys had chosen to be here.
Lorcan thumped his head back on the pillow. "Elide." Her name was a rasp on his tongue.
The last he remembered, they'd ridden through the gates, Aelin Galathynius's unholy power spent. Then oblivion had swept in.
"Helping with the healing in the Great Hall," Fenrys said, stretching out his legs before him.
Lorcan closed his eyes, something tight in his chest easing.
"Well, since you're not dead," Fenrys began, but Lorcan was already asleep.
Lorcan awoke later. Hours, days, he didn't know.
The candle was still burning on the narrow windowsill, down to its base. Hours, then.
He didn't care. Not when the dim light revealed the delicate woman lying facedown on the end of his cot, the lower half of her body still on the wooden chair where Fenrys had been. Her arms cradled her head, one outstretched toward him. Reaching for his hand, mere inches from hers.
Elide.
Her dark hair spilled across the blanket, across his shins, veiling much of her face.
Wincing at the lingering ache in his body, Lorcan stretched his arm just enough to touch her fingers. They were cold, their tips so much smaller than his. They contracted, pulling away as she sucked in a sharp, awakening breath.
Lorcan savored every feature as she grimaced at a crick in her neck. But her eyes settled on him. She went still as she found him staring at her, awake and utterly in awe of the woman who had ridden through hell to find him ...
Tired. She looked spent, yet her chin remained unbowed.
Lorcan had no words. He'd given her everything on the back of that horse anyway.
But Elide asked, "How do you feel?" Aching. Exhausted. Yet finding her sitting at his bedside... "Alive," he said, and meant it.
Her face remained unreadable, even as her eyes dipped to his body. The blanket had slid down enough to reveal most of his torso, though it still hid the scarred-over wound in his abdomen. Yet he'd never felt so keenly naked.
It was an effort to keep his breathing steady beneath her sharp-eyed gaze. "Yrene said you would have died, if they hadn't gotten to you when they did."
"I would have died," he said, voice like gravel, "if you hadn't braved hell to find me." Her gaze lifted to his. "I made you a promise."
"So you said."
Was that a hint of color stealing across her pale cheeks? But she didn't balk. "You said some interesting things, too."
Lorcan tried to sit up, but his body gave a burst of pain in protest.
Elide explained, "Yrene warned that though the wounds are healed, some soreness will linger."
Lorcan gritted his teeth around the sharp stab in his back, his stomach. He managed to get onto his elbows, and deemed that progress enough. "It's been a while since I was so gravely injured. I'd forgotten what an inconvenience it is."
A faint smile tugged on her mouth.
His heart halted. The first smile she had given him in months and months. Since that day on the ship, when he'd touched her hand as they'd swayed in their hammocks.
Her smile faded, but the color on her cheeks lingered. "Did you mean it? What you said." He held her stare. Let some inner wall within him come crumbling down. Only for her. For this sharp-eyed, cunning little liar who had slipped through every defense and ironclad rule he'd ever made for himself. He let her see that in his face. Let her see all of it, as no one had ever done before. "Yes."
Her mouth tightened, but not in displeasure.
So Lorcan said softly, "I meant every word." His heart thundered, so wildly it was a wonder she couldn't hear it. "And I will until the day I fade into the Afterworld."
Lorcan didn't breathe as Elide gently reached out her hand. And interlaced their fingers. "I love you," she whispered.
He was glad he was lying down. The words would have knocked him to his knees. Even now, he was half inclined to bow before her, the true owner of his ancient, wicked heart.
"I have loved you," she went on, "from the moment you came to fight for me against Vernon and the ilken." The light in her eyes stole his breath. "And when I heard you were somewhere on that battlefield, the only thing I wanted was to be able to tell you that. It was the only thing that mattered."
Once, he might have scoffed. Declared that far bigger things mattered, in this war especially. And yet the hand grasping his ... He'd never known anything more precious.
Lorcan ran his thumb over the back of her hand. "I am sorry, Elide. For all of it."
"I know," she said softly, and no regret or hurt dimmed her face. Only clear, unwavering calm shone there. The face of the mighty lady she was growing into, and had already become, and who would rule Perranth with wisdom in one hand and compassion in the other.
They stared at each other for minutes. For a blessed eternity.
Then Elide untangled their hands and rose. "I should return to help Yrene."
Lorcan caught her hand again. "Stay."
She arched a dark brow. "I'm only going to the Great Hall."
Lorcan caressed his thumb over the back of her hand once more. "Stay," he breathed.
For a heartbeat, he thought she'd say no, and was prepared to be fine with it, to accept these last few minutes as more of a gift than he'd deserved.
"Say it," she whispered, fingers stilling in his hair. Lorcan opened his eyes, finding her gaze. "I love you."
"Yrene said you might always have this," she said, her hand mercifully falling away.
"Then it will be the scar I treasure most."
Fenrys would laugh until he cried to hear him speak this way, but Lorcan didn't care. To hell with the rest of them.
Another one of those small smiles curved her lips, and Lorcan's hands tightened in the sheets with the effort it took not to taste that smile, to worship it with his own mouth.
But this new, fragile thing humming between them ... He would not risk it for all the world.
Elide, thank the gods, had no such worries.
None at all, it seemed, as she lifted a hand to his cheek and ran her thumb along it. Every breath was an effort of control.
Lorcan held absolutely still as she brought her mouth to his. Brushed her lips across his own.
She pulled back. "Rest, Lorcan. I'll be here again when you wake."
Anything she asked, he'd give her.
Anything at all.
Too shaken by that soft, beautiful kiss to bother with words, he lay back down.
But until then, he wanted her here. Sleeping at his side, where he might watch over her. As she had watched over him.
Elide seemed to read that on his face, and her cheeks reddened further. "Later, then," she breathed, limping to the door.
Lorcan sent a flicker of his power to wrap around her ankle. The limp vanished.
A hand on the knob, she gave him a small, grateful nod. "I missed that."
He heard the unspoken words as she disappeared into the busy hall.
I missed you.
Lorcan allowed himself a rare smile.
#Chapter 64#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Yrene Towers#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 64 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#Elorcan#Yrene-Shaking-Queen&prince quote a pair-Blood glowing-the Line-No time for those levels-He watched her#A tired sleeping woman who held the might of good within her veins-He can heal himself but should take the help but also sweet#to want to tend each another-Carranam with hafiza? How do the healers work-a smile-another prince has arrived-not just one-luck again#GET TO ORYNTH-LorcanLIVES-Fenrys-Darkness embraces him-lol-Their fight-Chosen-Since you’re not dead?-A candle to tell time#A kindness-His hand-Utterly in awe-Through hell to find him-He’d given her every word-Aching exhausted alive&he meant it-#I made a promise-Didn’t balk-😂-Inconvenience-She smiled2-Forgiveness can you imagine🥹-Only for her-For this sharp eyed —#cunning little liar who had slipped through every defense-Let her see all of it-Many loves kindling-poor Gavriel just avoiding everything#What then?-So Lorcan said softly-Every word-And I will-I love you-I will be with you always-I have loved you-He was glad he was lying down -#-so he didn’t pass out-the light of her stole his breath-Since vernon-The only thing that mattered-Most precious-For all of it-#A mighty lady of Perranth-History repeats-I know-With wisdom in one hand and compassion in the other-A blessed eternity-Stay#ALL THESE STAY LINES-So Close-Defiant storm-All these ship making me nervous it’s going to well don’t hurt my bbs-The scar I treasure-BOTH-#Fenrys would laugh talking this way-He would not risk it for all the world-She wasn’t worried for once-Anything at all-I’ll be here#Soft beautiful lingering-Sweet who would’ve thought he’s a lil softie after all-Unbreakable-Dundundun-Watch over him#Driving eachother insane but in a hot way lol-I missed that-I missed you-The brace -Lorcan smiledAGAIN2times-No cages ever again#WELCOME HOME KASHIN YOU ARE GOOD NEWS WE NEEDED YOU#what’s the speech Fenrys?-never known anything more precious yeah that’s elide
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nerd!choso who is so unknown at school that people go, “who?” when he’s mentioned. you’re pretty sure that only five people knew who he even was.
nerd!choso who is most definitely the president of some club like chess or dead poets society. he saw you at the club fair and fell in love
he thinks he went to heaven when you approach his table at club rush. yuji, although not in chess, was helping choso recruit people since his poor brother was too shy to talk to anyone. you go up to your friend yuji, making small talk with him.
“i’ve never played chess, yuji”, you giggled
“my brother can teach you!”
you glanced over at choso, not even noticing him at first. he was.. pretty. not pretty as in a way your friends would giggle at you when they saw you in a new outfit, not pretty as in the comments you got under your instagram post, but he was a natural beauty.
yuji had to snap you out of it. of course he noticed though, the way you two looked at each other.
nerd!choso who teaches you how to play chess, not letting the two other members of the small club play with you.
nerd!choso who helps you study, helps you carry textbooks, and helps you with midterms and any exams you have.
nerd!choso who has a nosebleed when you give him a small peck on the cheek when he finally confesses to you after months of pining for you.
you two had been studying in his dorm, comfortable with each other as your head was leaning against his shoulder as you two relished in each other’s presence.
“i like you.”
“oh! i like you t—“
“no. i like you.”
you turn to him. a small smile creeping onto your face. you didn’t say anything, only pressing a short kiss on his cheek. he immediately freezes up, his hands turning clammy and sweaty.
“i—uh..”
then, a trickle of blood comes from his nose, dripping onto his cupid’s bow.
“oh my god, cho!”, you gasped as you jump up, running to grab a tissue from his nightstand where he also kept a picture of you two and a bottle of lotion
you leaned in, wiping his nose attentively. as you chide and nurse him while mumbling, choso can’t help but stare down to take a peep at your tank top. he could see the valley of your boobs and the top of your bra. he choked, letting out a startled gasp before his eyes rolled to the back of his head.
he knocked out cold on the spot
nerd!choso who keeps a special picture of you in his wallet. he’ll be at his chess club meetings, at lectures, out with his family, and he keeps a hand on his wallet, knowing you’re in there.
the picture was a polaroid he took with your camera, your eyes were just out of frame but he could see a portion of your fucked out face, his cum dripping from your mouth and splattered on your cheeks. you were completely naked and sprawled out on his bed in his childhood home
it was almost funny how a hot goddess of a girl was naked, covered in his cum, and sprawled out, pussy on display on his old lego ninjago bedsheets.
nerd!choso who dedicates every single one of his orgasms to you. if you were with him, he’d find a way to cum inside you. in your mouth or your pussy, he’s find a way inside. of course, he’d also opt for cumming on your tits or on your face, he wasn’t greedy. but what he really wants, is to cum inside your cute little ass! he’s too shy to ask, of course, but the day would come eventually
if you weren’t here though, he’d pull up his personal secret album for you, filled photos and videos with shots of under your skirt, through the crack of your bedroom, from your window, when you just walking around with a tank top. he loved it all.
but his favorites were videos you’d allowed him to take while he was fucking you from the back or in missionary. he loved watching them on repeat, never getting bored of them. after a while, he gained the courage to show you as well.
you checked your phone to see a notification from your boyfriend and gasped when you opened it.
it was an image of the picture he kept of you beside his bed, covered in his semen. in the corner of the photo was his hand wrapped around his throbbing cock.
‘i miss you 🖤’
#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x reader smut#choso kamo x reader smut#choso kamo smut#choso kamo x reader#choso kamo#choso x you#choso x reader#choso smut#jjk choso#jjk x you#rina thinking 📝
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