#he will often be very real with a person even if it deeply hurts them
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rietveild · 2 years ago
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————      𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛   𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎.
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𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋   𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄   :   kaz brekker ( prev. rietveld )
𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄(𝐒)   dirtyhands, demjin ( by matthias ), some people take the great risk of calling him any version of "kazzie" and suffer dearly for it
╳   𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐖𝐒.
moody  |  short-tempered  |  emotionally unstable  |  whiny  |  controlling  |  conceited  | possessive  | paranoid  |  liar  |  impatient  |  cowardly  |  bitter  |  selfish  |  power-hungry  |  greedy  |  lazy  |  judgmental  |  forgetful  |  impulsive |  spiteful  |  stubborn |  sadistic  |  petty  |  unlucky  |  absent-minded |  abusive  |  addict  |  aggressive  |  childish  |  callous  |  clingy  |  delusional  |  cocky  |  competitive  |  corrupt  |  cynical |  cruel  |  depressed  |  deranged  | egotistical |  envious |  insecure  |  insensitive  |  lustful  |  delinquent  |  guilt complex | reclusive  |  reckless  |  nervous  |  oversensitive
♔   𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐇𝐒.
honest*  |  trustworthy  | thoughtful  |  caring  |  brave  |  patient  |  selfless  |  ambitious  | tolerant  |  lucky  |  intelligent  |  confident   | focused  |  humble  |  generous  |  merciful  | observant |  wise  | clever |  charming  |  cheerful  |  optimistic |  decisive  |   adaptive | calm  |  protective  |  proud  |  diligent | considerate  |  compassionate  |  good sportsmanship | friendly  |  empathetic  |  passionate | reliable  |  resourceful |  sensible  |  sincere |  witty  | funny
🖌 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐒 & 𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒.
art  |  acting  |  astronomy  |  animals |  archery  |  sports  |  belly dancing |  bird watching  |  blacksmithing  |  boating  |  calligraphy  |  camping  |  candle making  |  casino gambling  |  ceramics  |  racing  |  chess  | music   |  cooking  |  crochet  |  weaving  |  exercise  | swordplay |  fishing  |  gardening  | ghost hunting  |  ice skating  |  magic  | engineering  |  building  |  inventing  |  leather-working  |  martial arts  |  meditation  |  origami  |  parkour  | people watching |  swimming  |  puppetry  |  pyrotechnics  |  quilting  |  reading |  collecting  |  shopping  |  socializing  |   storytelling  |  writing |  traveling  |  exotic dancing  |  singing
tagged by: @democrow tysm đŸ„ș 💕 tagging: @vicioushope, @pistolslinger, @wraythic, @likcthestar, @appleyed, @b1uesergent, @solesoldier, @tsareviich, @kcrclrezni, and you reading this !!
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fiendishfables · 8 months ago
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Camillo Carmine x Reader
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General Headcanons (SFW + NSFW)
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warnings: nsfw, mentions of blood, mentions of biting, cursing
words: 1.4k+
a/n: this was a highly requested work, so enjoy and have fun with the little bonus at the end! This is not really an x reader, but it could be read as such, so oh well. Let me know your thoughts on Camillo's character, and/or if you'd like to see more of him in the near future <3
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SFW
✧˚ · . Camillo is basically like a big cat
✧˚ · . Tall motherfucker, standing at approximately 8,2
✧˚ · . The guy is very calm, silent, and sneaky all at once. If anything, he would make an excellent spy and has been offered positions before in that line of work
✧˚ · . Very independent; wont work for anybody but himself and is beyond stubborn
✧˚ · . He is a hardass, but underneath his tough, strong front, is an individual who is a giant kid at heart, who is so deeply loyal and giving that it hurts, and who takes all relationships he makes very seriously, as in he would gladly put his life on the line for someone he cares about; questioning his loyalty is the worst you can do
✧˚ · . Favorite colors consist of greys and purples of any shade; it always struck him as having more of an elegant, dancer sort of vibe, and the display of the colors usually help him to relax in times of distress. His whole bedroom is centered around that color palette and it hasn't been changed since he and Camilla have inherited the mansion
✧˚ · . On the subject of Camilla, he likes to annoy her. His real personality can start to be seen the more time he spends around his sister; they behave just like any normal pair of siblings would. The two have had a love hate relationship growing up and it still is that way, even if just a bit more watered down now. The two like to joke and hang around together every now and again when they aren't off busy with their own lives
✧˚ · . What a Carmine lacks in affection, they make up for in loyalty
✧˚ · . If you wanna talk about dancers, he is one. He loves dancing in his spare time and even uses the Carmine manor as a spot to host dancing lessons amongst sinners willing/wanting to learn
✧˚ · . His silvery pointed dancing shoes are like his literal children, and he always goes into a slight panic whenever he can't find them. They provide him with that sense of security, as dancing is a huge part of his life and he could never stand to be without it; they were also a gift from his mother
✧˚ · . Never likes to ask anyone for anything, especially not help. He likes to cover up his needs with smart-ass comments and handsome smirks that most can't stay mad at for too long
✧˚ · . Has been told he has a very punchable face
✧˚ · . His fangs make for a great, sarcastic smile; his face either consists of a frown or that signature smirk. He uses his fangs for a lot of things, including biting people when they get on his nerves
✧˚ · . Can totally play the piano; claims its a very calming and dignified instrument. He doesn't play it often but when he does, its a gift to anyone around to hear
✧˚ · . On the asexuality spectrum, identifying as demisexual and biromantic. It takes him a little longer than the average sinner to develop feelings for someone, let alone sexual feelings
✧˚ · . As stated before, his relationships are one of the most important things in his life and he handles them with great seriousness
✧˚ · . The epitome of that one secretive, mysterious, tall and mysterious stranger everyone wants to be friends with, but are too afraid to approach directly to ask
NSFW
✧˚ · . It's very difficult to get anything verbal out of this man when he's in the process of being intimate with someone, even if they're his s/o
✧˚ · . The most you can expect is some pleasured grunts, maybe some low groans if you're lucky
✧˚ · . It's not that he isn't enjoying whatever is being brought upon him, he is just one to closely guard his feelings and never really express them too vividly; yes that ends up following him into his sex life
✧˚ · . 9 times out of 10 he prefers to give pleasure rather than receive it
✧˚ · . Loves to degrade and use pet names with his partner; sweetheart, doll, slut, and whore tending to be some of his personal favorites to use
✧˚ · . Big on consent. If you are ever not comfortable with anything he proposes or is in the middle of doing to you, then he will stop instantly and get you anything you need. He may seem like an asshat sometimes, but he is a decent person (if that comes as such a shock)
✧˚ · . Into some form of pet play/leashes, no negotiation
✧˚ · . He always likes to be in control and rarely ever is the submissive one during intimacy.
✧˚ · . Will speak Spanish in bed, usually doing so in order to fluster his partner; it often gets him a positive response
✧˚ · . Being blindfolded is a big kink of his. As a dancer, he is used to having to be accustomed to other senses, so when they are heightened after his sight is temporarily taken from him, he will have a ball of a time
✧˚ · . One of his top favorite things is watching his partner ride him. Just the sight of his cock being sheathed inside your body over and over again as he watches you get off on his lap all on your own
✧˚ · . Dirty dancing is something he is much too fond of. The act of getting all worked up from dancing with one another, teasing each other all the while, then getting to fuck his partner into the ground, whispering praises to them about how well they danced with/for him; he is all too eager to teach you more of what he knows about the dancing world
✧˚ · . The little shit is one of the biggest teases you will ever meet. He honestly has a sex drive that's more so on the lower side and does not need sex as often as most sinners seem to
✧˚ · . But, be prepared when he does have the energy to pleasure you, for he is astounding at it.
✧˚ · . Kissing, biting, steamy makeout sessions, eating you out, fucking you raw; he can do it all and excel in the process
✧˚ · . His fangs usually come into play a lot during sex; a huge fan of biting and leaving marks on his partner to let others know that they have already been claimed
✧˚ · . Camillo is one of those demons you'd be lucky to have sex with. It's not even an egotistical thing, he's just not very sex-coded when it comes to relationships or really anything in general. He believes in a true connection with someone first before engaging in any sorts of those activities, hence his sexuality
✧˚ · . Sex with Camillo is always very serious and passionate. He never allows himself to be as vulnerable as he would be right now, so better to cherish it whilst it lasts
✧˚ · . It's almost like he picks one mate for life, then he's done looking, like some species do
✧˚ · . Thinking of it, when he really gets into action and the rare times he wants to have sex, he fucks like a wild animal. He does have his vanilla, gentle side where he will care for you nothing short of a husband, but if he has the chance or some pent up anger to release, you better prepare to go for multiple rounds of very rough sex
✧˚ · . To top things off, he does have a praise kink. It may be hard to pick up on at first, but if you praise him, let him know how good he's making you feel, he's a mess (at least internally). Nothing really gets him going more than knowing he is fulfilling his job as a partner; making you feel good in every aspect that he can. It gives him purpose and that's really all he needs when he's with his s/o
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BONUS~
✧˚ · . One of Camillo's wildest fantasies is to have his lover cockwarming him whilst he plays a song for them on his piano. He can imagine struggling to not fumble over the keys, not let his fingers slip, as he feels you clench around him, biting his lip or your shoulder hard enough to draw blood in order to stifle any noises that may find their way past his lips. That vulnerability is something he knowingly holds sacred; you could potentially be the one to coax it out of him.
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lou-0111 · 3 months ago
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What if I hurt you
Clarisse La Rue x Reader
Clarisse loves y/n, more thant anything, which is why one day when she almost gets hurt, clarisse knows that she might not be best for y/n
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Y/n had never been one to attract much attention. She was the kind of person who liked to blend into the background, not causing too much fuss. That’s part of why she loved Clarisse La Rue so much; the daughter of Ares was the complete opposite. Bold, brash, and fiercely protective, Clarisse made Y/n feel like she could conquer anything, even if Y/n preferred to do so quietly. Their relationship had blossomed over the past year, surprising both of them with how deeply they had come to care for each other.
But lately, things hadn’t been so perfect. Y/n was being harassed by a guy named Trey, a son of Hermes who had been relentless in his pursuit of her. It had started off innocently enough, just a few flirtatious comments here and there. Y/n had brushed them off, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. She figured Trey would lose interest eventually, especially if she didn’t encourage him.
But she was wrong.
It began with small things, like Trey showing up wherever Y/n happened to be. At first, it was just a coincidence—he’d be at the training grounds when she was practicing archery, or at the dining pavilion when she was grabbing a quick bite. But soon it became clear that Trey was intentionally seeking her out. He’d “accidentally” bump into her and make some remark about how fate was bringing them together. Y/n would laugh it off, trying to stay polite, but inside she was growing more uncomfortable by the day.
One day, Y/n was in the library, enjoying the quiet solitude that allowed her to immerse herself in a book. But just as she was getting lost in the pages, Trey appeared at her table, sliding into the chair across from her with a wide grin.
“Hey, Y/n,” he said, leaning in a little too close. “What are you reading? Something romantic, I bet.”
Y/n suppressed a sigh, keeping her voice even. “Just a history book. You know, nothing special.”
“Oh, I bet you’d like something more exciting,” Trey replied, winking at her. “Maybe I could take you out sometime? Show you a real good time.”
Y/n’s stomach twisted with discomfort, but she forced a polite smile. “Thanks, Trey, but I’m not interested. I’m with Clarisse, remember?”
Trey’s smile didn’t waver. “Yeah, I know. But come on, you can do better than her. I mean, you’re so sweet and gentle, and she’s
 well, you know. Rough around the edges.”
Y/n’s polite façade cracked a little, her voice sharpening. “Clarisse is amazing, and I’m very happy with her. Please stop.”
But Trey didn’t stop. He showed up at her cabin, offering to “walk her to dinner.” He’d corner her after training, complimenting her on how she was “way too cute” for someone like Clarisse. Y/n tried everything—ignoring him, being direct, even getting other campers to tell him to back off. Nothing worked. And through it all, Y/n didn’t tell Clarisse.
Why didn’t she? Part of it was pride—Y/n didn’t want to seem weak, like she couldn’t handle things on her own. But a bigger part of it was fear. She knew how Clarisse could be, especially when someone threatened someone she loved. Clarisse’s temper was legendary, and Y/n didn’t want to see her girlfriend get into trouble because of some jerk who didn’t know how to take a hint.
But it all came to a head one afternoon when Y/n and Clarisse were hanging out by the lake. It was a rare moment of peace for them—Clarisse was always so busy with her duties as a senior camper, and Y/n cherished the times when they could just be together. They sat on a blanket, Clarisse’s arm slung casually around Y/n’s shoulders as they watched the sun glitter on the water.
“This is nice,” Y/n murmured, leaning into Clarisse’s side. “I wish we could do this more often.”
“Me too,” Clarisse agreed, her voice softer than usual. “It’s just—”
Before Clarisse could finish her sentence, one of the Ares campers came jogging over, looking a little frantic. “Clarisse! Wylan won’t give me my sword back, tell him he has to. It’s my lucky one!”
Clarisse groaned, clearly irritated at being interrupted, but she was duty-bound. She kissed Y/n’s temple. “I’ll be right back, babe. Don’t move a muscle, okay?”
Y/n smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’ll be here.”
As Clarisse jogged off, Y/n sighed and pulled out her book, trying to enjoy the peace and quiet. But of course, it didn’t last long.
“Hey, Y/n!” Trey’s voice cut through the serene atmosphere like a knife. Y/n looked up, her heart sinking as she saw him striding towards her, that same smirk plastered on his face.
“Trey,” she said, her voice resigned. “Please, not now.”
“Aw, come on,” Trey replied, plopping down on the blanket beside her without an invitation. “You always say that. Why not now? It’s a beautiful day, and I’m here with a beautiful girl.”
Y/n scooted away from him, feeling her patience wearing dangerously thin. “Trey, I’m serious. You need to stop this. I’m with Clarisse, and I’m not interested in you.”
Trey leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a low, sleazy whisper. “But why not, Y/n? I could treat you so much better than she does. She’s all about fighting and yelling, but me? I’d be gentle. I’d take care of you.” His hand travels upwards, starting to play with her hair.
Y/n’s heart raced with a mix of fear and anger. Pushing his hands off and scotting back further, she opened her mouth to tell him off, to really let him have it this time, but before she could get a word out, a voice boomed from behind them.
“WHAT IN THE HADES IS GOING ON HERE?”
Y/n whipped her head around to see Clarisse standing a few feet away, her eyes blazing with fury. She had returned much faster than Y/n expected, and the look on her face sent a chill down Y/n’s spine.
“Clarisse,” Y/n started, but she didn’t get far.
Clarisse marched over, her fists clenched. “Trey, what the hell are you doing?”
Trey had the nerve to grin, though there was a flicker of fear in his eyes. “Just talking to Y/n, that’s all.”
Clarisse’s expression darkened, and she stepped closer, looming over Trey. “Talking to her? It sure as hell looked like you were harassing her.”
“Harassing? Come on, Clarisse, don’t be so dramatic,” Trey said, trying to play it off. “I was just—”
“Shut up,” Clarisse snarled. “You think I didn’t hear what you just said? You think Y/n would be better off with you?” She grabbed Trey by the front of his shirt, yanking him to his feet. “She’s with me. And if you ever try to get between us again, I’ll make sure you regret it.”
Trey’s bravado finally cracked. “Whoa, hey, Clarisse, chill. I didn’t mean any harm—”
“Didn’t mean any harm?” Clarisse interrupted, her voice dangerously low. “You’ve been following her around, making her uncomfortable, and you think I’m just going to let that slide?”
“Clarisse,” Y/n said softly, reaching out to touch her arm. “It’s okay, I can handle it.”
But Clarisse was beyond reasoning. She shoved Trey back, causing him to stumble. “You don't lay a finger on her. Not now, not ever.”
Trey, clearly not as smart as he thought he was, decided to push back. “Maybe Y/n doesn’t want to be with someone like you. Maybe she needs someone who’s not so
 rough.”
That did it. Clarisse’s fist connected with Trey’s jaw before Y/n could even blink. Trey yelped in pain, staggering backward, but Clarisse didn’t stop. She grabbed him by the collar, ready to hit him again.
“Clarisse, stop!” Y/n cried, trying to pull her back. “Please, stop!”
But Clarisse was lost in her rage. Her fist swung again, this time landing squarely on Trey’s gut, knocking the wind out of him. Trey crumpled to the ground, gasping for air, but Clarisse wasn’t done. She raised her fist again, but before she could strike, Y/n stepped in, grabbing her arm.
“Clarisse, stop! You’re going to kill him!”
Clarisse froze, her fist still poised in the air. Moving to hit again, she turned to look at Y/n, her eyes wild with anger. But when she saw the fear in Y/n’s eyes, something inside her snapped back to reality. She lowered her fist, breathing heavily, and Trey took the opportunity to scramble to his feet, clutching his stomach.
“You’re crazy!” Trey spat, backing away. “This isn’t over, La Rue.”
“Get out of here before I finish what I started,” Clarisse growled, but her voice lacked the same venom as before.
Trey didn’t need to be told twice. He turned and ran, disappearing into the trees. For a moment, there was only the sound of Clarisse’s heavy breathing and Y/n’s pounding heart.
Then, Clarisse turned to Y/n, her face paling as she realized what had just happened. “Y/n, I—”
But before she could finish, Y/n wrapped her arms around her, burying her face in Clarisse’s chest. “I was so scared,” Y/n whispered, her voice trembling.
Clarisse’s arms went around her automatically, but there was a stiffness to her embrace, a hesitation that Y/n hadn’t felt before. “I’m sorry,” Clarisse said, her voice thick with guilt. “I should’ve— I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Y/n shook her head, clinging to Clarisse. “I don’t care about that. I just didn’t want you to get hurt.”
Clarisse pulled back slightly, looking down at Y/n with pained eyes. “But I did hurt you, didn’t I? Not physically, but
 Y/n, I’m so sorry.”
Y/n looked up at her, confused. “What are you talking about? You didn’t hurt me.”
Clarisse’s gaze dropped to the ground. “I almost lost control, Y/n. I could’ve hurt you by accident. I could’ve—”
“But you didn’t,” Y/n interrupted, tightening her grip on Clarisse. “You stopped. And even if you hadn’t, I know you would never hurt me on purpose.”
Clarisse’s hands trembled as she cupped Y/n’s face. “I never want to hurt you. Ever. But
 but what if I do? What if I can’t control it next time?”
“There won’t be a next time,” Y/n said firmly. “You’re not a monster, Clarisse. You’re my hero. You protected me.”
Clarisse shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Yes, you do,” Y/n insisted, standing on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Clarisse’s lips. “I love you, Clarisse. All of you. Even the parts that scare you.”
Clarisse’s breath hitched, and she kissed Y/n back, a desperate, tender kiss that spoke of all the fear and love tangled inside her. When they finally pulled apart, Clarisse rested her forehead against Y/n’s. “I love you too. So much.”
They stood there for a long time, holding each other as the sun set behind them. Eventually, Clarisse pulled away, her eyes still haunted by what had happened. “I think
 I think I need some time alone.”
Y/n’s heart sank, but she nodded. “Okay. But promise me you’ll come back?”
Clarisse managed a small, sad smile. “I promise.”
As Clarisse walked away, Y/n watched her go, a knot of worry tightening in her chest. She knew Clarisse was struggling with her anger, with the fear that she might one day lose control. But Y/n also knew that their love was stronger than any fear.
For the next few days, Clarisse avoided Y/n. She threw herself into training, into her duties, into anything that kept her away from the person she loved most. Y/n tried to reach out, but Clarisse always found an excuse to keep her distance. It was agonizing, but Y/n refused to give up. She knew that Clarisse was trying to protect her, but what Clarisse didn’t realize was that by pulling away, she was hurting Y/n even more.
Finally, after almost a week of silence, Y/n decided she’d had enough. She marched over to the Ares cabin, ignoring the wary looks from the other campers, and knocked on the door.
Clarisse opened it, and the moment she saw Y/n standing there, she looked like she might close it again. But Y/n quickly stepped inside, blocking her from shutting the door.
“Clarisse, we need to talk,” Y/n said, her voice firm.
Clarisse sighed, running a hand through her messy hair. “Y/n, I—”
“No,” Y/n interrupted, her eyes flashing with determination. “You don’t get to push me away like this. I know you’re scared, but you don’t have to be. I’m not going anywhere.”
Clarisse looked at her, the walls she’d built around herself starting to crumble. “But what if I hurt you?”
“You won’t,” Y/n said, taking Clarisse’s hands in hers. “And even if you did, I’d still love you. You’re not your dad, Clarisse. You’re not Ares. You’re you, and that’s who I fell in love with.”
Clarisse’s shoulders slumped, and she pulled Y/n into a tight embrace, burying her face in Y/n’s hair. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. “I’m so sorry for everything.”
Y/n hugged her back just as tightly. “It’s okay. We’ll get through this together.”
Clarisse nodded, holding Y/n like she was afraid to let go. And in that moment, Y/n knew that they were going to be okay. Their love was strong enough to withstand anything, even the darkest parts of themselves.
And from that day forward, Clarisse vowed to never let her fear drive a wedge between them again. She worked on her anger, on her need to protect Y/n without pushing her away. It wasn’t easy, but Y/n was always there, her unwavering support giving Clarisse the strength to keep going.
Together, they were unstoppable.
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sepublic · 5 months ago
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Given Luz’s arc in the Boiling Isles was about expecting fantasy only to encounter reality underneath, I find it fitting her villain follows a similar trajectory. We are introduced to the enigmatic Emperor Belos, a strange and mysterious villain wielding arcane magic. Many of us understandably speculated that he was some sort of lich or other type of demon, and in the end

He’s just some guy; Just another bigoted human. Even with his human persona Philip Wittebane, he attempts to frame himself as some tragic character unfairly hurt by society

But again, there’s the simpler truth; He’s just an immature jerk. That’s why he’s disliked. And it’s interesting, how instead of the romanticized, sympathetic, larger than life villain, we have one closer to reality, and accurate to the actual people in power that Belos is based off of; Entitled (wo)manchildren with delusions of grandeur. It’s fittingly mundane and literally what Luz struggled with back home.
Belos is every conservative politician who thinks he’s been deeply wronged by minorities, and blames them for “taking away” a loved one who clearly made their own choice and was happier for it, because self-perceived victimization provides a handy excuse for their banal actions. They say they’re maintaining the sanctity of society but really they just want to control their perfect little worlds, and have more than enough devil’s advocates. Think of guys like Elon Musk; Some mediocre white dude who thinks of himself as particularly exceptional and self-made, when really he just stood on the shoulders of others and stole, and throws a tantrum whenever he doesn’t get his way.
He’s the suburban middle-class white dude who’s bored and thinks shooting lions in Africa makes him a big man. He’s the sweet little brother who started watching a misogynistic streamer and is now a raging bigot who refuses to grow out of it, worshipping other mediocre white men. He’s a mundane bully among Luz’s peers with no greater reason than that it’s easier to hurt others and put them down to make himself feel taller by comparison; Not so much because he’s been hurt (if at all), but because he doesn’t care.
He’s the bully who cheers for Dumbo because he lacks the self-awareness to realize he’s the villain onscreen. And people like that often don’t accept help, and sometimes they never needed it to begin with because their issues don’t come from a lack of compassion from others. You should try to understand others, but sometimes all you’ll find in some is banality. Belos isn’t some type of made up creature, at his core he’s the exact kind of person you’ll encounter in real life, hence his mundane parallel in Jacob Hopkins; He’s the jerk online who wants to debate.
And this is all very fitting for Luz’s arc; Luz went to the Boiling Isles expecting some form of escapism, but in the end, the exact same problems she encountered at home followed her there. The same type of person that contributed to Luz being deemed deviant in the U.S. also plays a role in Luz feeling unwelcome in the Demon Realm; A Puritan white man, one of the progenitors for the founding fathers of America, and its evangelical culture. And just like the jerks online who want to debate, Luz realized the only response to give was silence.
The friends Luz meets, and the people she resolves conflicts with (some of whom do fulfill the sympathetic antagonist niche), are just like you and I. There’s no real difference between witches/demons and humans. What Luz learns in the Boiling Isles still applies to her human life; She didn’t succeed in running away, but actually unwittingly grew to handle it and meeting new people. She developed the self-awareness needed to avoid becoming like those who originally hurt her, and after helping so many others was allowed to realize she was also entitled to setting boundaries and prioritizing her own health.
Luz finding the isles is fundamentally no different than a person in real life moving somewhere else, and/or finding a community of other humans like them, with the presence of kids like Masha and their friends displaying how that applies in real life. Luz still learned how to deal with reality, she had it in herself all along. She didn’t ignore her problems in the Boiling Isles, she faced them there with support. The Demon Realm and Luz’s problems there aren’t all that different from her ‘real’ life, they’re just as real and that’s why they still matter and are good for Luz. It’s all one big metaphor in the sense that it’s equivalent and applicable, and Luz figured that out like the audience did; Her ‘escapism’ was just her life back home but with a different coat of paint, and that’s good.
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somedaylazysomeday · 10 months ago
Text
Noisy - Part Three
Viktor is going to be busy in the lab for the next week. He comes over to tell you personally.
Viktor x fem!reader
Rating: Explicit. Minors DNI
Word Count: 5,200
Warnings: Arguments, misunderstandings, Viktor has a chip on his shoulder, fingering, unprotected piv sex, discussions of sex with disabilities, creampie
Previous | Next | Masterlist
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The knock on your door was a surprise. 
Not that you didn’t have friends, but very few of them worked or studied at the Academy of Science, Technology, and Innovation in Piltover. Of that small group, even fewer of them would come visit you at your apartment unannounced.
Which meant it was probably one of your neighbors. Your downstairs neighbor was a rather bubbly girl attempting to become a professional musician. She studied under a cellist who taught at the Academy - though you had never quite managed to figure out why a school of science and engineering had a concert orchestra. In any case, she helped conduct the orchestra when she wasn’t working with the professor and gave lessons to students in her off hours. 
But given that you hadn’t heard any music coming from her apartment that day, she was probably preparing for the holiday concert that the orchestra was putting on next week. 
That left Viktor - scientist, assistant to the Academy’s Dean, and your upstairs neighbor.
He was also the man you had shared a brief sexual encounter with a few weeks prior. In your defense, you had been trying to force him to go to sleep so he would stop making so much noise late at night. It didn’t hurt that Viktor was devastatingly attractive, but you had really been more focused on the sleep. 
Another knock shook you from your reverie. It was softer, almost hesitant, and you hurried to open the door. 
Sure enough, Viktor stood on the other side. You took a moment to congratulate yourself for your deductive reasoning, then smiled at him. “Hey Viktor. What’s up?” 
He smiled back, but it looked sickly. You watched his thumb strum nervously along the handle of his cane. “I wanted to let you know that I spoke to Heimerdinger and got permission to work late in the lab next week.” 
You nodded thoughtfully. “I know that curfew has been the bane of your existence for a while now. Do you have a specific project you’re working on or is he just tired of you trying to break in?” 
Viktor’s uncomfortable smile turned to a scowl and you fought back a chuckle. Stiffly, he told you, “I do not try to break in, I-” 
A hand lifted between the two of you interrupted whatever he intended to say next. With your most serious expression, you said, “Viktor! I don’t want to be a party to your crimes!” 
He gave a deep sigh. “You are a menace.” 
You finally broke, and your laughter made him smile. It was a real one and you reached out to pat his arm. “There you are. I needed to see you happy, not fake happy. You’re a terrible actor.” 
Viktor rolled his eyes, though he was still smiling. “And to think I was trying to be a considerate neighbor
”
“Go ahead,” you told him. He raised an eyebrow and you laughed despite yourself. “I’m serious! I’m done. Please say what you came here to say.” 
Though he still looked deeply skeptical, Viktor relented. “I received permission to conduct experiments outside of the lab curfew. I will be working late at the lab for much of the next week. I wanted to tell you myself.” 
A realization was tingling at the back of your mind, but like any good scientist, you needed to test it. You kept your face blankly serene as you nodded. “Thank you for letting me know, Viktor. I hope your experiments go well.” 
He looked mildly disappointed. “Thank you. And I hope your week is pleasant. You will not have me around to make noise over your head.” 
“That will take some getting used to,” you teased. 
“And you likely will not see me very often,” Viktor added, ducking his head at your joke. “When I am home, I will be sleeping. And we work in such different sections of the campus
”
You nodded slowly, your hypothesis all but proven. “That’s good to know. I would have wondered if you were avoiding me.” 
“Never,” he denied instantly. 
That made you feel warm, as did the way Viktor stood in the hall, nervously shifting his weight back and forth as his thumb tapped frantically at the handle beneath his fingers. Despite his clear unease, Viktor glanced at you every few seconds, eyes bright and hopeful in a way that you found both amusing and sweet. 
“I suppose I should leave you,” Viktor admitted, slumping slightly. 
“You know,” you started, pausing the half-pace Viktor had taken in the opposite direction. “If you want to sleep together, all you have to do is ask. If that’s in any way what you were-”
“Can we sleep together?”
The immediacy of the question made you laugh aloud even as you nodded and stepped back. “Well, I was in the middle of grading some papers, but it can wait.” 
“I can wait, if you prefer?” Viktor said, in the middle of crossing the threshold into your apartment. 
“No, you’re going to be gone for the next week,” you reminded. “Besides, this sounds much better than slogging through another essay on population ecology. Come on inside.” 
Viktor seemed almost sprightly as he stepped into your apartment, the tip of his cane hardly touching the ground. He looked around eagerly, studying the interior of your living room with such intensity that you were forcibly reminded that he had never seen it before. With that in mind, you did your best to look around with a fresh perspective. 
The furniture was well-worn - all of it was, in this particular housing unit - but you had done what you could. You'd used an assortment of soft blankets to cover stains or tears while comfortable pillows that shielded your back from spots where the padding beneath the upholstery had all but disappeared. The small table in front of the couch bore stacks of textbooks, reference guides, and the aforementioned papers you had been grading. 
The apartment’s small kitchen was visible from where Viktor was standing, a wine bottle and an old dish sitting in plain sight on the countertop. But you were far too wary of pests to allow any kind of mess in the kitchen, so you didn’t have much to be embarrassed of in there. 
Overall, it was a little messy - especially compared to the stark desolation of Viktor’s apartment - but the most notable feature of your living room wasn’t found in the furniture or in the traces of your work that were scattered around. 
You had installed a collection of corkboards and dry-erase boards around the apartment. The corkboards held the results of your latest experiments while the dry-erase boards held scrawled collections of notes and ideas about relationships between criteria. Your goal was to go around and gather those musings once per week so you could erase the boards, but it had been a while and they were cluttered with your handwriting. 
Anyone else might have made some bland comment about your apartment, but Viktor cut directly to what interested him. After moving to study one of the dry-erase boards more closely, he gestured to it and asked, “What are you attempting to calculate?” 
“Well, each board is set up to have its own focus,” you explained. “On that one in particular, I’m trying to figure out why the toxicity in the Sump level of the Undercity is as high as it is.” 
Viktor’s shoulders tightened, but his voice was bland as he said, “Perhaps it has something to do with the large levels of industrial waste and chemical byproduct that moves through or is stored in the area.” 
He was here to fuck, not fight, you reminded yourself. And yet, even after you had taken a breath and bitten back your immediate harsh response, you couldn’t let the implied insult to your scholarly skills go unchallenged. 
You marched to a corkboard on the other side of the doorway, tapping it sharply with your forefinger. “Yes, I realize that, but look at the particular levels of these toxins. They don’t match up with those you would expect to see from anything produced by the plants in Factorywood.”
“No Undercity industries admit to what they are truly producing,” Viktor said, eyes still roaming over your hastily written notes. They lingered on where you had written ‘Silco?’ beneath a particularly strong toxin found in some products from Priggs Industries. 
“”Of course they don’t,” you agreed easily. “But the toxic by-products still generally match up with what everyone knows the factories are producing. From these numbers, someone on the Sump level is creating chemical products in a quantity that threatens the existence of the entire city, not to mention the serious health risks linked to living in the Gray.”
Viktor sighed, his dark eyes meeting yours. There was a deep sadness in their depths, and it made your heart ache to see it. “It is a noble thing to work on a problem like the Undercity’s health. But you will not get far with it. Piltover has more to gain from looking to the future rather than fixing the problems of the present or the past.” 
“You’re from the Undercity, right?” you asked, needlessly. You knew where Viktor was from. Everyone did - it was one of the reasons he struggled to be respected despite his incredible intellect. 
“You think I do not care for where I am from?” he asked, a sharpness in his voice. “You think I would not keep others from enduring what I endured?” 
The sharp thump of his cane against the floor was loud in your living room, but you kept from wincing. With your steady gaze fixed on him, you slowly shook your head. “I don’t think that at all, Viktor. But I also think Piltover will care about these findings, even if it’s just for self-preservation purposes.” 
“You realize they are more likely to clear the Undercity than make meaningful changes?”
That was something you hadn’t truly considered, though you should have. Anyone with a brain knew that Piltover’s treatment of the Undercity had been reckless and unhelpful. 
Still, you lifted your chin. “I will keep that in mind moving forward, but I have to believe I can do something meaningful to help the people who have no choice but to live there.”
Viktor was quiet then, his gaze fixed blankly on the dry-erase board in front of him as his thoughts consumed him. Eventually, he tilted his head to give you a sidelong look. “Why are the boards next to doorways?” 
You smiled despite yourself. “Sometimes, I get flashes of inspiration if I only catch a glimpse of a problem. Something about seeing the information as I walk into and out of a room when I’m doing another task makes me think differently about a problem. That’s why the boards are everywhere, too - so I can write down what I’ve thought of before it has a chance to get away.” 
“It is a good idea,” Viktor admitted. 
“The Academy has plenty more boards and you definitely have the space for them,” you teased. 
The ghost of a smile flitted over Viktor’s face and the odd tension disappeared. "Perhaps I should look into having some installed. They certainly seem to be helping you." 
You made a face at him, but there was no real antagonism in it. “I have to admit, I’m surprised you’re so interested in the boards. I thought you were here for other things.” 
Viktor’s gaze sharpened as he turned to face you, but his tone was light as he retorted, “Talking about your research findings doesn’t put you in the correct frame of mind? I would have thought better of such a respected scientist.” 
The unexpected teasing brought a delighted laugh to your lips as you gave a shallow bow. “I don’t think anyone thinks of me as a respected scientist, but I appreciate the sentiment.”
“I happen to have a great deal of respect for you,” Viktor said, the effort ruined somewhat by the way he was focused on your lips. “Can I kiss you?” 
“So much for respect,” you said, leaning eagerly toward him. Viktor was smirking when his soft lips pressed against yours. 
The first time you had kissed, Viktor had been hesitant. When he had gotten over his own discomfort, the depth of his need became apparent, but not before that. This time, his intensity was immediate. After a split second of softness, Viktor’s lips firmed and he used them to part yours so his tongue could slip into the space between them. 
Viktor tried to pull back at the surprised noise you made, but you weren’t having it. Your hands fisted in the front of his vest, keeping him close as you responded to his explorations with some of your own. Viktor was exceedingly sensitive, and you teased as many reactions from him as you could manage before you parted for air, both of you panting. 
“There is such a reaction when we kiss,” Viktor mused, almost to himself. “It cannot be simple chemistry.” 
“I don’t think there’s anything simple about it,” you countered wryly. “Besides, why can’t it be chemistry? Everything else is. Every smell or taste or touch
 Chemistry is how we understand and interact with the world around us. Why should kissing be any different?” 
“You are being deliberately obtuse,” Viktor muttered, mouthing butterfly kisses over your jaw and down the side of your neck. You were swaying into the sensation when his lips parted to deliver a sharp nip to the tender skin. You groaned, but didn’t move away. 
“See?” Viktor asked. “Why should that feel pleasant? Simply because of chemistry?” 
“Dopamine, serotonin, and oxycontin,” you informed him. “They’re a strong combination.”
He rolled his eyes, but leaned in again, working his way back up until he could meet you in a furious kiss once more. It managed to be more intense than the first, though both of your attention was split. Viktor was ruching your shirt upward while you were doing your best to unbutton his vest. 
“Your skin is so soft
” he murmured, and you felt like you were on fire. 
Perhaps that was why you forgot yourself, giving his vest a sharp yank. Buttons scattered across the floor and Viktor gave a disbelieving laugh. You offered an apologetic look. “This would be much easier if you didn’t insist on wearing fourteen layers at all times.”
“You are right; that was my fault,” he agreed. You smiled, though it turned to a startled laugh when his fingers tickled up your ribcage. You probably would have protested more vocally if you hadn’t been so relieved at his pulling the shirt over your head. 
“No,” you said decisively, pushing his hands away. Viktor immediately withdrew, looking apologetic, horrified, and confused. “You don’t get the easy job. I’ll take off my own clothes and you deal with all of the buttons.”
Viktor’s eyebrows arched so sharply that they approached his hairline, but he obediently began to undress himself. You made short work of your own outfit and took a comfortable seat on the couch. The soft texture of a blanket teased at your buttocks and the backs of your bare thighs and you luxuriated in the feeling. Perhaps you should lounge around your apartment in the nude more often

Then Viktor was approaching. He was completely bare and your breath caught at the beauty of him. He was pale, all long-limbs and angular joints. Dark freckles and moles dotted his skin, almost artistic in their placement. Instead of looking small and frail, Viktor put you in mind of a sculpture. He looked like a piece of ancient artwork, perfectly formed to capture a human emotion you recognized, but couldn’t quite verbalize.
The thatch of hair at his pubic bone was dark, eye-catching surrounded by the stretches of pale skin. His cock rose from that darkness, proud and erect, the slightest hint of an upward curve that promised to do delicious things inside of you. 
Before Viktor could come too close to the couch, you stood and motioned for him to turn around. “Let’s go to my room. I want us to be comfortable.” 
When he nodded, you led the way to your room. It was plain compared to the rest of your apartment. You tried to keep the most chaotic parts of your work away. Bedrooms were for sleeping, not thinking, and you did your best to keep the two from being combined in your mind. 
But there were still touches of your personality spread around. You had specifically requested a bed that was larger than average. There were pillows scattered at the head, each one a slightly different softness so you could use whatever pillow you needed for each specific day. They were matched by different blankets across the lower part of the bed. Each one was made of different fabrics, but all of them felt like heaven against your skin. 
You stepped toward the bed, but froze when Viktor let out a soft chuckle behind you. “What?”
Viktor gestured toward the bed with his free hand. “It seems they have allocated my returned bed to you.” 
It took a moment for that to sink in, but then you belted out a laugh. “Thank you for your sacrifice, then. I hope to give you a glimpse of what you gave up.”
“It has a better life here than I could ever give it with me.” When you looked at him, Viktor was studying your body with obvious admiration. 
Before you could tell him how utterly cheesy that was - no matter how charming you found it as well - he stepped into kissing range. Well, you had always heard it was better to show than to tell

This kiss was no less demanding than the last had been. In fact, each touch seemed to increase in urgency, building toward a precipice. It was exactly what you wanted from someone you were about to sleep with, and you started to get impatient with the teasing touches. 
“Any-” kiss “Any preference?” kiss “For position, I mean.” 
Viktor looked dazed, drunk on your lips, but a concerning thought jarred you from your self-satisfaction. “Wait, this isn’t your- Is this the first time you’ve done this?” 
He frowned at you, color rising high on his cheekbones. “Did you not ask this the last time?”
“Did I?” Honestly, as much as you had thought about that night in the time since it happened, very few of your thoughts had centered on the conversation you’d shared before your focus shifted to other things. “And what was the answer?”
“No, believe it or not,” he grumbled. “I have managed to find at least one partner before you.” 
“Oh, good.” 
Viktor’s eyebrows shot upward at that. “Not quite the reaction I had expected.”
“Sorry,” you offered instantly, hoping you hadn’t hurt his pride. Viktor seemed a little sensitive about his self-image. “I just meant that I’m glad you found someone you wanted to share this with in the past.” 
“How magnanimous,” he said dryly. “But I would prefer if you wanted to share this with me now instead of asking if I am virginal.”
“Virginal?” you asked, nose wrinkling. “Am I an 18th century lord? I don’t care if you’re- ah!”
With a well-placed push, Viktor had sent you sprawling across the bed. The sheer number of blankets over the mattress meant that the impact was so minimal that you hardly noticed it, but you still took a moment to blink up at Viktor in surprise. 
For his part, Viktor looked so self-satisfied that his expression verged on smug. He stepped up to the edge of the bed and stooped to lean over you when you remembered your original point. 
“Wait, I was asking for a reason,” you protested. 
A look of genuine irritation crossed Viktor’s handsome face. “No, you are not my first.”
“Not-” You took a second to give a silent laugh. “Not that. I meant about positions. Do you have a preference?” 
“Not in the slightest,” he assured you. “Now, if you were to ask for my preferences on when we get together, I have several strong opinions-”
“And your leg will be okay?” you asked softly. Viktor paused. “I don’t want this to hurt you.”
“I am not so delicate,” he said. “Any further objections?” 
“Only that you’re not already inside of me.” 
The stunned look on Viktor’s face at your tongue-in-cheek answer was a glorious sight to see. But it was fleeting; only a moment later, his jaw firmed with determination and he crawled onto the bed. Most of his weight was supported on his arms, planted firmly on either side of you, and the weight that remained on his legs didn’t seem to bother Viktor in the slightest. 
So you didn’t feel bad for losing yourself in the sensations. 
Perhaps, given the nature of your first hookup, you shouldn’t have been shocked that Viktor would want to explore. He sucked a mark over your collarbone, and you could feel his smile at the noises it pulled from you. When his clever fingers dropped to your breast, you froze under his touch. Viktor finally pulled away from the tender place on your skin, but only so he could study every microexpression that crossed your face at the feeling of his fingers on the sensitive peak. 
When he finally pulled away, you arched into his retreating touch. Viktor managed to soothe you into lying against the bed once more. That made it far easier for him to lower himself onto top of you, his hips pressing squarely between your thighs. Suddenly, losing his hand on your breast felt like a fair trade. 
When those talented fingers drifted down to your core, you wriggled impatiently. “I’m ready, I promise. Please, Viktor
”
He looked conflicted. “I know. I will give both of us what we want in a moment. But I- I need to feel you.”
Any further arguments you might have made faded away with the feeling of his long finger sinking into you. Your body accepted him easily, so easily that you might have been embarrassed by it if you weren’t so relieved by the feeling of something to grip with your desperate muscles. 
Viktor withdrew his finger far too soon. You groaned when he studied it for a moment before putting it in his mouth. Then you were groaning together and your core clenched so sharply that it took your breath away. 
“Viktor-”
He gave a decisive nod, lined the head of himself up with your entrance, and began pushing inside of you. As if your body was angry at having lost your previous stimulation so soon, the muscles of your channel contracted around his length. In fact, they spasmed so hard that Viktor paused. 
“Am I hurting you?” 
The real concern in his voice was sweet, but you were nearing desperation. “Only because you’re going so slow. Please, Viktor
”
He gave a stuttered half-thrust into you, clearly trying to stop himself before he drove too hard into you. With a crooked smile, he said, “Have I ever mentioned that I enjoy hearing you say my name?” 
“No, but I can do better than that,” you offered. “Start moving now and I’ll scream it for you.” 
Viktor’s eyes widened and he started a series of pulsing thrusts, each one driving himself a little further inside of you. When he was - at last - as deep as he could be, you both paused to soak in the sensations of it. His hips were flush against your ass and one of you was throbbing. You were too close to know which of you it was. 
Most of your focus was on the realization that you had been right: that slight curve of Viktor’s length was in exactly the right place to press against your g-spot. The delicious pressure of it made your toes curl and you lifted your hips in an effort to urge him deeper. 
When you remembered that your eyes worked, you smiled a little to see the intense concentration on Viktor’s face. Your hands smoothed down his back and when they were as low as you could reach, you pulled him closer, urging him into motion.
For someone who had a tendency to be oblivious, Viktor took the hint beautifully. With an audible sound from where you were joined, he pulled out. His motions were achingly slow, but he thrust back in before his head could leave you entirely. This push of his hips was made up of more mini-thrusts. The next only had a few. Then he was driving full-force into you at a pace that took your breath away. 
And his. 
Getting a little winded during sex wasn’t exactly uncommon, especially when things were as heated as they were with Viktor, but it worried you. The legs you had wrapped around his waist - though you couldn’t remember exactly when you had done that - could feel tremors wracking the right side of his body. They seemed to stem from his weaker leg, and it was quickly growing more severe. He was frowning, and while it seemed to be mostly concentration, there was more than a hint of genuine pain buried in the wrinkles of his forehead.
“Viktor,” you started, cutting off with a low cry when he slammed into you. “Viktor, wait.” 
It took another half thrust for your request to filter through the fog of good sex. When it did hit him, Viktor slowed, though you could see the strain of it in his muscles. “What is it?” 
“Roll over,” you said. “I can tell you’re hurting.” 
An expression of displeasure crossed his face. “I told you: I am fine.” 
“You aren’t,” you argued, watching his face turn incredulous. “Viktor, I can see it. It’s not a bad thing. I like being on top.” 
“I don’t need you to pretend you know what’s best for me!” he snapped. 
Arguing with someone who was currently buried inside of you was a new experience. From the stubbornness in Viktor’s eyes and the set of his jaw, he wasn’t going to let you win. You would bash yourself to pieces against the stone of Viktor’s personality. But maybe you could try a different tactic

“Please, Viktor,” you murmured. “I promise, I’ll still make things feel good for both of us. Just let me do this. Let me take care of both of us, even if you don’t need me to.”
You watched him think that over. A direct and combative approach wouldn’t get anywhere with Viktor, he had spent too much of his life fighting. But the one-two punch of logic and emotion helped you get through the walls he had built around himself. 
He didn’t agree verbally - that would be too much like admitting defeat. But he carefully withdrew from you and settled onto the bed beside you. When you realized what was happening, you scrambled upright and straddled his thighs as soon as he was fully horizontal. 
The brief pause had done strange things to your libido, but it came roaring back as soon as you saw Viktor lying beneath you, his body still hard and eager and shining with remnants of you. 
You sank down onto him so quickly that it pulled a startled noise from both of you. And then you were moving, surging up and down so quickly that the muscles of your legs started aching almost immediately. That wasn’t enough to stop you, not nearly, especially when you saw the stunned pleasure on Viktor’s face. 
You rested your hands gently on his chest, using him more for balance than a true counterpoint, but Viktor thrust his hips sharply. The force of it knocked you off balance, pushing you forward until you were braced against him. 
His hands covered yours, keeping them planted over his heart. You glanced up at him, unsurprised to see Viktor’s intense gaze fixed on you. “I will not break.” 
You nodded, taking the low promise as truth. With the additional weight resting on your hands, your legs lifted you far more easily, working up and down on his shaft. Pressing your hips backward let you brush your clit against the thatch of coarse hair at Viktor’s base, but it also pressed that slight curve against your g-spot. Your inner muscles tightened so hard and fast that Viktor made a shocked noise and you started having trouble keeping your rhythm. 
“Are you close?” he asked, chest rising and falling more rapidly under your hands. 
You didn’t quite trust your voice, so you nodded again. He nodded with you. “Me too. Where-?”
“Inside,” you interrupted. You used birth control for several reasons, but sex actually wasn’t one of them. Having someone come inside of you wasn’t a sensation you particularly enjoyed, but you were close and pulling out was always tricky when you were on top. And Viktor felt so good

His eyes widened. “Are you-?”
Before he could ask if you were sure, you had fallen over the edge. You fingers curled against Viktor’s skin, legs tingling so badly that you almost stopped moving on him. But as if your body was willing to circumvent your brain to keep the stimulation going, your legs and hips and torso kept going. You were moving up and down and forward and back all in an effort to chase the incredible pleasure that wracked your body and made your movements stutter.
Somewhere in the middle of your orgasm, Viktor reached his as well. He stiffened under your hands and between your legs, thrusting into you to drive you both higher. You felt his length twitch and pulse inside of you, along with a general sense of warmth as he spilled. 
When the incredible flood of endorphins began to fade, you collapsed like a puppet with cut strings. You slumped forward onto Viktor’s chest with him still buried deep inside of you. His hand came to rest on your back, stroking your overheated flesh. You stayed like that for a long while, your ear pressed to the reassuring sound of his gradually slowing pulse. 
“That was incredible,” he said eventually. His voice was low, but the awe in it was unmistakable. 
“It was pretty good,” you agreed. 
A displeased noise escaped him and you lifted your head to look at him, wincing at the way your sweaty skin had stuck to his. “What’s wrong?” 
“There is a considerable difference between ‘incredible’ and ‘pretty good’,” he told you, the disgust clear in his voice. 
You were already smiling at the way ‘pretty good’ sounded in his accent. “Sorry, I meant it was the single most mind-blowing experience of my entire life. Is that better?” 
Viktor hummed, but his amber eyes sparkled down at you. “That seems like a lie. But it is fine. We can work up to incredible.” 
You chuckled at that, and Viktor pressed a kiss to the back of your hand as you settled back against him.
---
Author's Note - You'll note that this isn't a two-part fic, but there will be another Viktor fic this Fanfic February because I had two ideas that I liked.
Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought!
164 notes · View notes
changbinsboobs · 3 months ago
Note
tbh I noticed that a lot with several idols, one minute they could be severly desperate for relationship then in other readings someone hurt them or they just dont give a fuck about it. so my question is if skz members would be more into hook ups or temporary relationships or are there members who want something more long term and romantic? or as romantic as they can get with their schedules lmao
SKZ Long-term relationships or Flings?
Hi:) i hope you enjoy the reading💗 i used the 3rd Eye Tarot Deck
*For entertainment purposes only!
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Chan - Temperance, 4 of Cups
With him i see that he wants to keep his own peace and not get into relationships, but he gets crushes easily, sometimes more than one at a time and that confuses him, causing him to lose his peace over that anyway so he thinks then "whats the harm in a little fun?" and then dips his toes here, then dips his toes there, most of the time i feel it doesn't go very buttery which again strengthens his conviction of having to keep his peace and keep away from distractions like that, but oh my are women distracting...especially when naked 👀
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Lee Know - 6 of Swords
He seems very serious when it comes to relationships and his ultimate goal is marriage. He has left a lot of unserious people once he realizes they mean only fun and games and aren't ready for the real, serious stuff. He seeks this "the one" feeling and looks for that person and i believe gets into serious relationships only when he thinks he has a chance for that with that person.
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Changbin - King of Cups
Short and clear - a one woman man! I don't think he even sees other women when he is in love. Mind you i didn't say relationship👀 i believe being in a relationship and being in love mean 2 different things for him as i think he might have tried (forced himself) into (short lived) relationships where he wasn't really in love but hoped to develop feelings over time because the match just seemed to make sense, or because friends and family nudged him into finding someone. But i don't think he's a supporter of that method and i think his experience has strengthened a conviction in him to only date and begin a relationship if he has a crush or feelings for the person already. If HE is the pursuer and not the pursued. So yeah i think he is kind of in a waiting period maybe, where he is very exclusively monogamous and also believes in "the one" or in soulmates and patiently waits for them to meet. Once that happens i believe he would be pretty quick to escalate the relationship. I see him with time getting eager to settle down with someone and he would probably make an offer to his person very quickly. An offer to get together, an offer to introduce her to his family and friends, an offer to move in together, an offer for marriage, an offer for kids etc.
He always gets so phylosophical in his readings💗 he has lots of strong opinions about many many things that i feel like he can't share very well with others cuz he just doesn't have much or any people around him he can talk that deeply about stuff with.
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Hyunjin - 2 of Swords
He's a long term relationship guy but he can't make up his mind. Like he can't make up his mind if he should or should not get into a relationship, if he does or does not have real feelings for that person. If he likes this person more than the other. I feel like he might be between two or more people quite often and not be able to choose which one he actually likes because he is so quick to judge and react and i believe he holds a grudge too, so if he has interest in person A, but they disappoint him in some way (even with something small and insignificant) he starts doubting this persons genuinity and his feelings for them, and his interest gets sparked elsewhere - with person B. Then they disappoint him too and he's like "Person A was so much better, lemme try there again" and he goes back to Person A and it goes on and on like that. Poor guy wants love and commitment and seeks stability but he's so unstable himself he can't get that for himself, no matter what person stands in front of him.
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Han - 9 of Swords, Judgement, 7 of Cups
Ehmm...i think he gets very intense and only has eyes for one person. Bit sadly very short lived. He fights that tho and wants to become more consistent but as much as his eyes are only focused on that specific person and see nothing else - his focus doesn't last that long and something new redirects him pretty quickly so i don't think he's someone to have serious long term relationships. He craves that tho. Maybe he has to grow up a bit and then he can focus on one person better.
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Felix - Death, 2 of Cups
Almost the same for Felix. But with the difference that he doesn't go move on to another crush quickly. With is that he meets someone, has a great time with them, everything's nice - and then all of a sudden the spark dies. Even if he stays with them a little longer its not the same anymore so he gets bored and with his busy schedual i don't think he's in the mood for driving on something that doesn't excite him in any way. So i think he's kind of in the middle? He doesn't jump from person to person like chan or han, or even hyunjin, but he isn't very long-term oriented like changbin and lee know either.
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Seungmin - Queen of Cups
That man's looking for a wife! Tbh i don't know what else to put to that😅 he says theres no need to overcomplicate it, its as simple as that - "i want a wife."
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I.N - 6 of Pentacles, 6 of Cups
He likes investing and nurturing and building - all long term things. So i believe he is also long term relationship oriented, but im not really getting it as such a strong sense as the other members. Maybe he wants a long term relationship but not right now, and so he puts his (or invests) his energy and resources elsewhere, so later on he can properly focus on nurturing and building the relationship. Omg yes of course i get it. Thats what the investments abut. So right now he's investing in his future by building security in his finances etc. so that later on when he mets the right person and decides to build a life with them he can do that with a peace of mind and provide accordingly for his partner. Very lovely💗
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comicgeekery · 6 months ago
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Sherlock and Co.
So I just listened to the latest episode, the conclusion of A Case of Identity. I have to say, it was deeply disappointing. For the most part I've been really enjoying Sherlock and Co. It's been fun and engaging. The actors are great. It's a solid new take on "Sherlock Holmes but in the 21st century". I love that they're going through all the stories of the original canon and giving them modern updates. So many Sherlock Holmes adaptations seem to have the basic trappings of the characters and premise without any interest in the original mysteries. This show is clearly being made with love and deep attention to detail. Also, on a personal note, my heart melts every time it explicitly (and even casually!) confirms that Sherlock is autistic and that that is a DISABILITY for him. He gets overstimulated. It gives him an often restricted diet. He hurts people's feelings from not picking up social cues and feels bad about it! There's also a lot of hints that Sherlock used to struggle to interact with others FAR worse than he currently does, to the point where he has never graduated from any school he attended. And John is kind and supportive, understanding the situation as a friend and a doctor, while also having his own understandable limitations. He gets annoyed with Sherlock sometimes and they need to hash things out. It's not perfect between them, but I can see how they're growing closer as they come to understand each other. John Watson is also handled very interestingly in this podcast. He's clearly got some issues of his own he's going through. There's some obvious PTSD from his time in Afghanistan, but also more mundane issues. He feels unappreciated by his mother and still grieves the father that died when he was ten. He's clearly massively insecure, as he constantly expresses jealousy of other people's wealth, good looks, and success. He seems to perk up every time he hears of an idea that could, in theory, make him rich or successful. He constantly second-guesses himself in any social situation because he's so afraid of looking foolish. I even think the reason that he himself decided to call their detective/podcasting business Sherlock and Co. (rather than Sherlock and Watson or something more evenly balanced) is because of his profound insecurity. He doesn't think anyone would care about the role he plays in the business. Clearly Sherlock is the only interesting person there.
But for all of that, I think this is the most competent, helpful, and good Watson I've ever seen. (ACD's Watson is excellent, but the stories almost always really downplayed his role in the crime-solving.) He is shown, again and again, to be an excellent doctor and more than that, one who is very calm and capable under extreme pressure. (Which makes perfect sense with his history as an army doctor.) If someone gets shot at your wedding, Dr. John Watson is the one who will have the skill and the presence of mind to use an expired condom as a tool to save their life. And he's also a good co-detective. He regularly helps Sherlock see connections that Sherlock might have missed. Things relating to pop culture, to social norms, to anything medical, not to mention all the support and encouragement John offers. And Sherlock genuinely appreciates it! These two are an actual, real team! It's excellent! (I have a soft spot in my heart for Nigel Bruce's Watson, but I can't deny that he inspired a real line of idiotic, totally a sidekick, why-are-you-even-here Watson portrayals. Granted, we've gotten away from that in most modern portrayals; Liu, Freeman, and Law were also very capable, though I think Liu was easily the smartest. It's just refreshing to have a Watson I can respect.) But all of that is a pretty roundabout way of getting to my point of what disappointed me with A Case of Identity. So, in the original Case of Identity story, a woman comes to Sherlock and Watson saying that her fiancee has disappeared. The eventual solution is that everything about this fiancee was a lie. He was actually her evil stepfather in disguise "wooing" her with the intention of disappearing mysteriously and leaving her too heartbroken and loyal to think of marrying anyone else (and thus depriving her stepfather of her fortune). The Sherlock and Co. adaptation has a solid update to the story. It's now about a rich, though insecure, man who's being cat-fished. He loves "Angel", even wants to marry her, and has given her tons of money for two years now. He's only going to Sherlock at all because he has a friend who thinks the situation is sketchy. In a parallel to the original story, it turns out that "Angel" is actually Des, the client's stepfather. It started off as a scheme from Des and the mother, Clara, to keep Miles from dating women they didn't approve of. Then Des went behind Clara's back to keep the charade going and get more and more money, consequently getting more and more intimate with his stepson the whole time. I was already a bit nervous at that point, because Des was coming dangerously close to playing out a transphobic stereotype. Being a man who pretended to be a woman for personal gain, and willing to completely betray and deceive the people closest to him. It also didn't help that John had made a point of saying that there was nothing wrong with being a Tory mere minutes before. (Which to me read as more of his insecurity and need to not alienate the in-universe listeners but certainly wasn't interrogated.) But I tried to be optimistic and kept listening. Unfortunately...it was even worse than I'd feared. Des turned out to not only being grifting his stepson through a semi-incestuous cat-fishing scheme, but he had a split personality. Angel had become real through Des having a mental health crisis. And she could spontaneously take over, which she did in order to grab Clara and hold a knife to her throat when the truth came out. Finally, Angel/Des tries to kill themself, which is something the show has the audacity to make a joke about before the audience knows if Des lived or died.
Sooooo, yeah. That's incredibly offensive on so many levels. Angel, while not quite a trans character (I think?) plays into transphobic rhetoric beat-for-beat. It's also an incredibly cliche representation of split personality disorder that plays into extremely tired representations of people with mental illnesses being violent dangers to society. And that's especially disappointing because of the attention Sherlock and Co. usually pays to portraying mental health issues with sensitivity. What the fuck, Sherlock and Co.? Did you get a new writer for this one? Did they time travel directly from the 1950s? This is cheap drama that hurts. It hurts trans women. It hurts people with mental illnesses. And it hurts the wider queer and disabled communities. Which, if you're trying to get popular with the most vocal Sherlock Holmes fans today, are largely the exact people you most want to like you.
Cards on the table, I've been really hoping this show would finally be the adaptation where John and Sherlock would become an actual, explicit couple. It's something fans have longed for for literal generations and now that all of Sherlock Holmes is in the public domain it can finally definitely happen. I felt like Sherlock and John had good chemistry and were maybe even flirting in previous episodes, but I'll save those theories for now. My point is that this is a show where I believed that could happen. I trusted Sherlock and Co. to be respectful and thoughtful. And I'm not saying that all my goodwill is gone now. But it has taken a hit. Sherlock and Co. has been overwhelmingly clever and interesting, finding creative ways to recast the classic stories while still keeping their hearts. I love the acting, I love the action and mysteries, and I haven't even come close to expressing how much thought I've put into what overarching plot threads might be getting established in each episode.
But I won't be able to continue to enjoy those parts if I come to spend my time listening more concerned about if a plot twist is going to leave me feeling attacked. I don't know who writes for this show and I don't know if you read any reviews on Tumblr, but I hope you do. And I hope you do better in the future. An apology and some good trans representation in the future would be nice. Please, I really want to be able to obsess about your show peacefully!
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gloomwitchwrites · 5 months ago
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Hi! Can I please request an Aragorn SFW alphabet for the 1k follow event? <3
You absolutely can request that! Thank you for participating in the 1k Follower Event! I really appreciate each and every one of you.
Content & Warnings: just fluff
Word Count: 1.1k
A/N: Thank you to all who have submitted requests from the 1k follower event. A reminder that requests for that event are closed.
SFW Alphabet Template
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // 1k follower event masterlist
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A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Deeply affectionate in both the platonic and romantic sense. He cares deeply about those closest to him, and the ways he shows affection will vary from person to person. It all depends on the relationship he has with them. Romantic partners will see a lot more physical affection. Platonic relationships might involve more verbal forms.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Aragorn is an amazing best friend. He is steadfast, loyal, honest, and noble. He comes to his friends’ defense and will always consider them family. Some of Aragorn’s strongest friendships were built on incredible hardship.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Prefers cuddles over snuggles. An arm over your shoulder or around your back while you’re tucked against him, and your head resting against his shoulder or chest is a guilty pleasure for him.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Does want to settle down as long as he knows there will be stability. Times of unrest make it hard for Aragorn to see the end, but he does want to finally find peace in his life. He could certainly cook and clean without putting up a fuss, but let’s be real—he’s the king of Gondor. Other people are doing that for him.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Gently. He isn’t there to hurt feelings or cause bitterness. He will be honest and upfront.
F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Totally about commitment, but often doesn’t commit fully due to his lifestyle. Aragorn is a one and done sort of man, but sometimes duty calls, and commitment is difficult in times of war.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Even in times of stress, Aragorn is very good at being gentle with emotions. He is never physical with anyone unless it is warranted and there is a perceived threat.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Great hugger but doesn’t initiate unless it’s very much in the moment or he’s feeling a burst of emotion. Most of his hugs go to his partner.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Aragorn will use countless phrases to say “I love you” without actually saying the words. He’s saving the true “I love you” when he knows that the two of you can actually be together.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Rarely jealous, if ever. Aragorn is confident in where he stands with you and doesn’t see others as a potential threat to that dynamic.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
A slow, tender, and romantic kisser. They are passionate kisses but Aragorn isn’t one to rush through things. He is going to take his time when it comes to kisses. He loves kissing your fingers and hands, shoulders, and the curve of your neck.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Loves children and is very good with them. He is very fatherly. Would make a wonderful father to whatever children you have with him.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Waking up in his arms with sleepy kisses.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
The same as morning but reversed. Sleepy kisses before falling asleep in his arms.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Open but it is earned. Truly revealing pieces of himself is only for those most close to him. For example, a romantic partner will likely know far more about him than a companion he travels with.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Lots of patience with a few exceptions. In matters of life-and-death, his patience is short but he is still calm. Matters that involve discussions might be part of this exception. Aragorn will listen to all voices but even he might grow frustrated if a matter can’t be sorted.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Would remember everything. No question. Won’t even elaborate on this one.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
The first time you met. He loves retelling that story, but loves to hear it more when you retell it.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Very protective. Aragorn is deeply protective of everyone he loves and cares for (this includes romantic and platonic capacities). Regardless of the relationship, Aragorn has an infinite amount of love and compassion for those around him, and he will always do his best to ensure their safety.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Would try if he is present. If he is away from you, don’t expect anything but his silent love. When Aragorn is with you, he is more likely to remember dates and anniversaries. He will often do things for you or gift things to you just because and not because he feels obligated to.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Leaving things around. Maybe it’s a boot or a dagger in its sheath, but Aragorn tends to set things down and walk away for a bit (and you always find the item before he does).
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Hardly. None. Aragorn isn’t arrogant or vain.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Yes. Aragorn yearns but he also understands separation is often necessary. Duty is important to him, as is honor, and he will continue on as he needs to, even if that means leaving you behind. That doesn’t mean a piece of him isn’t missing.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
Enjoys a good afternoon nap under the shade of a tree.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Éowyn’s cooking (lmao I had to), putting someone down for their physical appearance, dishonesty when it’s better to simply tell the truth, having his time wasted
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
Can fall asleep anywhere and at any time. It’s a learned skill. But does not sleep deeply. Even in sleep, Aragorn is alert.
taglist:
@glassgulls @childofyuggoth @foxxy-126 @km-ffluv @firelightinferno
@glitterypirateduck @tiredmetalenthusiast @protosslady @coffeecaketornado @miaraei
@cherryofdeath @ferns-fics @ninman82 @thewulf @beebeechaos
@hantheconqueror
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velvetvexations · 2 months ago
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I don't wish to hide behind a Native friend in voicing my opinions on the matter, but I asked said friend, Trickster Kisses, for permission to quote him so I can give context for why I have the stance that I do.
Here's him explaining it to me for the first time a few years ago:
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Here's his tags on that post I reblogged yesterday:
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Here's a post he made shortly thereafter:
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And from a conversation we had last night:
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Doubtlessly some Algonquin people disagree, but I've seen multiple say the controversy is silly, and like. Yeah. Saying "wendigo" is not going to summon evil spirits to possess you and turn you into a cannibal, it was a metaphor for greed. Natives are generally aware that the world doesn't work on Beetlejuice rules. Even if a few may insist on it, others find it deeply condescending to be treated like village peasants who cross themselves and warn the smirking white protagonist about the forest being filled with goblins and ghouls, except without the part where they turn out to be right because these things aren't real.
And it's different from creating images of Mahoumed, because (a) that's about respecting the single most important figure in the Koran short of Allah Himself, not being in fear of one particular mythical creature that got it's name popular with white people, and (b) non-Muslims depicting Mahoumed is literally only ever done purely to spite Muslims.
I even feel, as my friend does, that the necessary accuracy point is debatable, as other cultural beliefs include vampires, elves, and the Greek gods, and those are often distorted far beyond what the people that did or do believe in them would recognize, but in that I'm willing to concede more than my friend and say, yeah, getting something right and not just going with the pop cultural flow is almost literally the least you can do for a still very vulnerable and hurting group that's been done repeated catastrophic damage by your own group. You should, in fact, in my white opinion, just name your deer monster something else, and in that I "disagree" (it's more like a deferring perspective) with Trickster Kisses whose stance is much more relaxed.*
And I think if it were just "name your deer monster something else, be accurate if you actually use the wendigo name" a lot more people would be on board, that was the position of the Algonquin person on that post yesterday, but white people going all "stop it Patrick you're scaring him!" about it is really weird at best.
*from having asked about engaging with the wendigo in my own writing, a sequel to a story by Algernon Blackwood which got it very wrong:
Depends honestly, if you're not worried about backlash you can honestly just be like, whatever, sometimes vampires sparkle, it'd be cool to see more from the original myths but then you have to get into 'okay but like, which tribe's myths' ngl follow your heart in that regard, I personally consider all of them solid & acceptable
my own decision was to take it in a somewhat meta direction and directly address the fact that the Blackwood story was inaccurate
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Okay, so like. This is the ask that prompted me to go to Trickster Kisses and ask him for permission to quote him, and in particular I asked if he could give a response to you specifically.
Listen. Anon. I truly did not expect him to be so angry. Like, I'm not kidding, I sincerely feel bad for you right now. This tongue-lashing is not coming from me. All I can tell you is that this is how an Algonquian person feels about it:
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@gromlyn
Trickster Kisses, again four years ago:
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txttletale · 1 year ago
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idk how to put this sorry if this comes off as rude/confrontational I'm not trying to be — when you say stories about forgiveness/reconciliation, do you mean more the type about forgiving & reconciling with family, or more generally (so like including - this isn't the best example but I can't think of any better rn - catra for example? where it's about being trapped in hurting people because of trauma and breaking out of that)? or is the thing you dislike more stories' framing of forgiveness as a moral imperative?
sorry if this doesn't make sense I'm just curious what you think bc you've raised some interesting points and would really like to see you elaborate on them
don't worry you don't come off as rude whatsoever! while i think my points apply broadly to how forgiveness is treated across media (rare actual example of cultural christianity) -- i obviously am not, like, against forgiveness or stories about forgiveness on principle. what i dislike about all the narratives about people forgiving their abusive parents is that:
like you said, it's always framed as a moral imperative. there is always an underlying assumption that forgiving the abuser is the 'right' and 'correct' thing to do, that not doing so would be wrong. this is tremendously insulting to survivors who have every right to not forgive their abusers!
in most of these narratives, the parent barely does shit to be forgiven. there's very often a narrative equivocation, in fact, between parent and child. like, sometimes the parent won't even be expected to apologize -- sometimes, even more grotesquely, both the parent and child apologize for their shared supposed 'wrongdoing'. this is also obviously insulting to survivors, who are not in any way responsible for their abuse or for having a poor relationship with their parents.
the reason why this in particular pisses me off so much is that it mirrors and in turn contributes to the cultural expectation on abuse victims in real life to maintain contact with their abusers, the constant casual pressure from everything from strangers to friends to acquaintances saying 'well, can't you just put it behind you?' or 'look, he's changed' or 'she's your mom' or 'you'll only have one chance to have a relationship with your siblings' or whatever the fuck. the sanctity of the family is a cardinal value across a lot of societies and this sanctity means a constant, neverending societal pressure to bow to sweeping abuse under the rug. i've seen many people i care about struggle deeply with feeling obligated to maintain relationships with family members who treat them like shit and make htem miserable every time they interact bc of exactly these sorts of sentiments being everpresent in their cultural environment. & these narratives always paint that sort of pressure as being well-founded and fair and ultimately for the better, which is absolutely repellent to me.
so, yeah. i am not against narratives where an abusive person actually confronts their actions and changes and repairs that relationship (that's another fucking thing, these narratives always put the onus and responsiblity on the character who was abused to forgive rather than on the abuser to earn forgiveness, just like in real life familial abuse victims are always fucking expected to be the ones to repair the relationship). i think such narratives can be powerful and compelling and explore questions of what the value of 'forgiveness' or 'redemption' even are, as well as dispel the mystique and exceptionalism often attributed to the 'abuser' as a holistic malevolent figure that can be cleanly separated from every other parent/grandparent/sibling/etc.
what i'm against is narratives where someone who is abused has their feelings delegitimized -- their rage is wrong, counterproductive, they need to let go and move on, they need to forgive their abusers and let them back int otheir lives because oh, they did something wrong too or oh, their abuser had a difficult life, or whatever the fuck. to which the answer should be a flat -- no. they don't. all the more power to people who choose to do that if that's what makes them happiest and safest but absolutely nobody has a moral obligation or need to forgive an abusive family member. obviously i am exaggerating slightly when i say every abusive parent subplot should end with the parent being killed with hammers, but i'm using the hammer murder as a synechdoche for a narrative treating an abuse victim's antipathy towards their abuser as something legitimate and justified and obviously reasonable rather than a flaw or something they need to move past.
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hellodaydream1111111111111111 · 4 months ago
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I love Hisoka and Illumi’s little dynamic because they are both so fucking dense and Hisoka puts on this emotion filled persona and he his a literal psychopath, illuminating puts on an emotionless persona but he feels so much. They point out each others flaws because the other is the embodiment of the persona that they’ve spent their lives crafting.
“Oh Hisoka isn’t dense he’s well aware of his issues!”
Yeah, that’s what he says but he is a literal psychopath that is open about lying just because he thinks it’s fun.
Hisoka is so obviously a psychopath he has all of the traits, He feels absolutely no empathy at all. The few times we see it something even close to empathy on him it’s a persona he’s putting on because contrary to popular belief he isn’t impulsive he’s so manipulative and he calculates every move he makes there isn’t a goddamn chance he loves Illumi because this mother fucker doesn’t feel anything, he’s able to feel shallow pleasure and rage but sadness, love, empathy and happiness aren’t there. I mean this emotionally of course he can’t feel happy so he substitutes it with horny. There’s only so much a person can change themselves even though Hisoka tries it’s just in his nature, Besides the horny part Hisoka’s true personality the persona Illumi puts on.
“Illumi doesn’t feel anything he’s cruel and heartless.”
Illumi is a very emotional person, he feels empathy and even gives his targets one last wish but he doesn’t recognize his emotions and he hasn’t tried because he doesn’t want to. Illumi knows that to be a good assassin he shouldn’t let his feelings get in the way so he pushes them to the side, ignores them and probably uses nen to further that.He loves Killua deeply but also hates him and is jealous of him, he just assumes that’s what love feels like. Out of the two of them Illumi is probably the more impulsive as we see in the Alluka arc (thats not what it’s called but I can’t remember) when Hisoka threatens Killua Illumi cannot help the rage he feels he’s unable to control it. He loves Hisoka but he won’t recognize that because he’s already been through this with his family he knows what it feels like to love someone and have them hurt you. Illumi doesn’t want to have emotions but Hisoka needs them to get what he wants so he plays a persona similar to Illumi’s real personality.
In conclusion they want what the other has and they keep each other around because they know they are useful to one another I see people say that Hisoka could be 100 percent normal if he tried and while that’s somewhat true he wouldn’t feel the things you need to be normal much like a clown he plays an act. Illumi is just in an awful situation and if taught he could also be somewhat normal.
It’s also so funny that Illumi says he’s “Too honest” and Hisoka says he “Hates dishonest people”
However Illumi lies to himself and Hisoka lies so often like you hate yourself? Yeah they both hate themselves and Illumi is BPD coded while Hisoka is a psychopath that uses narcissism to cover up his empty he is.
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sakurablossoms-world · 1 month ago
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Jadepeach Headcanons:
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(Art belongs to @splendentmoon)
- Wukong is aro-ace, and has very little care for relationships outside of friendship and his troop, but he’s not against a relationship if the person in question is someone he deeply cares for and admires.
- NĂŒwa is demi-ace, she’s very open to the idea of a relationship, but it takes her a long while to develop a romantic connection to anyone.
- When they first met NĂŒwa had no idea who Sun Wukong was, something that offended Wukong in the beginning but would later come to appreciate as it meant that she would get to know the real him and he didn’t have to put up a front.
- They originally bonded via their unique shared custody situation of MK and despite the rough start they both grew to deeply admire the other which eventually led to their relationship.
- Both are very similar in terms of personality, but whereas Wukong is as bold as the sun, NĂŒwa is subdued like a star.
- NĂŒwa admires Wukong’s free spirit and he admires her down to earth nature, and both adore the other’s kindness, ambition, creativity, protectiveness, and capacity for love (when either of them gives someone their love, they love wholeheartedly with no strings attached).
- Their favorite pastime is sharing their art forms with each other, Wukong would teach NĂŒwa how to paint and fold origami, while she would teach him how to sculpt, they also love researching anything and everything together.
- They’re both simultaneously the most intelligent and most naïve person in any given room, largely due to isolation.
- Despite having the combined power to eradicate all of existence, both are terrified of papa mode Pigsy, and it doesn’t help that he usually has an issue with how they try to parent MK.
- Wukong’s nicknames for NĂŒwa are: My Jewel, Precious Sculpture, Mango, My Star, Starlight, Starbeam, Starflower, Shooting Star.
-NĂŒwa’s nicknames for Wukong are: My King, My Hero, Peaches, My Sun, Sunlight, Sunshine, Sunflower, Sunny.
- Wukong is NĂŒwa’s very first relationship, which makes her slightly insecure as she worries she’ll embarrass herself and make things awkward between her and Wukong.
- Wukong was previously in a serious committed relationship with Macaque, and with how bad that relationship ended, he often worries that he’ll end up hurting NĂŒwa in a similar manner and driving her away.
- This previous relationship is also why he doesn’t use My Queen as a nickname for NĂŒwa, as that was one of Macaque’s old nicknames, and it holds a bittersweet feeling to it.
- Luckily for both of them they managed to become a powerful couple, as even celestials and demons that detest Wukong admire and envy their love.
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fortisfilia · 7 months ago
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Promised Part 15 - Tom Riddle x reader
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Info: This is a rewrite of a story I've posted on my old account years ago. If it sounds familiar, that might be why :)
Summary: In this story, Tom didn't grow up as an orphan, but with his grandfather and uncle. Reader's sister got very sick and the Gaunts offer their help. But not without asking for something in return.
Warnings: Arranged marriage
Word count: 1.8k
Masterpost | Masterlist | Part 14 | Part 16
Part 15 - A Dagger for a Devotee
Now that all the ingredients for the antidote were gathered and added, the potion was as good as finished. It just had to simmer on for a while. If the instructions were correct, it would be finished on June 29th, the last day of school. Graduation day. One day before the wedding. 
The wedding. Tom thought about it a lot. It would happen. That, he knew. The plan was to give Elsie the antidote on their wedding day so that she would be completely healed and they could still keep a low profile towards Marvolo and Morfin. Their wish would be fulfilled then, and even if the Gaunts were going to ask for more, they wouldn’t know that Elsie wasn’t under their might anymore. Tom was sure they were going to try to pressure him by threatening to hurt Elsie someday, even when he was married. That was just in their nature. They would never be satisfied.
He wondered how long it would take them to figure out that she had been healed. Weeks, months, years? And how they would react then. Were they going to take out their anger on him? The more he thought about it, the less he cared. He had even fantasised about it if he was honest. That Marvolo would lose his temper and would attack him. Tom had waited so long enough for an excuse to pay his Grandfather back, his fingers were itching just thinking about it. Oh, the things he would like to do to him were unspeakable and the grin on his face only widened the longer he envisioned them. He would welcome the opportunity with open arms. 
Some nights, when he lay awake and couldn’t just fall asleep yet, Tom wondered if his life would have been different, if he had turned out to be another person, had he not been brought up by the Gaunts. He didn’t wish for it, like his fiancĂ©e had mentioned so often, no, but he still couldn’t help but wonder. Was there a possibility for a different Tom Riddle to exist? One that would live with parents, one that wasn’t as cold and narrow-minded, one that could crack a real good joke to his friends? A funny, warm, kind version of him? His stomach squirmed at the thought. Disgusting. 
He could have turned out like Benjamin Hilt. Merlin’s sake, what a nightmare that would be. To act like him, so loud and bothersome. Head in the clouds, mouth always open and never thinking about any consequences. Hilt had it so easy. But nevertheless, Ben’s attitude was intriguing. Annoying yes, but intriguing. Tom wouldn’t have thought Hilt would be able to keep his muggleborn mouth shut and keep the pact a secret, but he hadn’t told anyone about it yet. And he didn’t seem to keep his word out of fear, but rather out of belief. Ben wasn’t the type to have deep thoughts, by the looks of it at least, but he had his priorities set. And for that Tom respected him. Everything Ben did seemed to come so easily from within, not wasting one too many thoughts. It was something so deeply ingrained that it must have come naturally. 
He was so different compared to Tom’s friends. Or whatever word one would use for people like Avery, Lestrange and the others. They were nothing more than followers, blind and mindless. They wouldn’t just offer their help to be a good person. They always wanted something in return, even if it was just Tom’s recognition. And he knew, if someone else were to take his place, they would drop him in an instant. Their loyalty was superficial and egoistic. Just as his own. He would drop them too if someone more useful were to show up and solicit themselves. 
That was how it always had been. How he had thought friendships were meant to be. A mutual agreement, quite similar to business. Be polite, make use of a person as much as you can, make sure they’re intimidated enough to keep their knowledge to themselves and wish them well on their way out. Simple, beneficial and most importantly efficient. 
But what his fiancĂ©e, Ben and Camille had was so different. He had waited for Camille and Ben to ask for something in return. Weeks had gone by, where he had anticipated for them to come up and ask for a favour. A note from the head boy to get out of detention, a favour by putting in a good word with a teacher. But they hadn’t. They had helped to steal the Banshee tears and were still tending to the potion in the Come and Go Room every day. For nothing? He couldn’t fathom it at first, and only when he thought about it again, it came to his mind that this could be what real friendship was like. 
He didn’t like how much it churned him, how much consideration it had taken to come to this conclusion, when apparently for other people, that was the most natural thing in the world.
Tom obtained a much greater deal of wit than Ben, without a doubt, but yet, Hilt possessed so much more emotional intelligence than Tom could ever dream of. And he was jealous of him. That Ben could just walk through life, listen to his gut and trust that whatever it would tell him would be with good intent. Tom could have made real friends too then. He could have developed that trust to his gut, if he hadn’t been fed those vicious thoughts by the Gaunts his whole life. He could have even gotten to know a muggle for all he knew, if he hadn’t been told, day after day, how worthless and irrelevant they were. That’s what they had always said. But the Gaunts had lied so often, maybe they had lied about that too. He had believed them for so long that he couldn’t even tell which opinion was his own and which one had been planted in his head by someone else. 
And then came three people who acted against all his values, showing him a glimpse of what life could be like. Everything he knew, his view of the world, as well as his belief, had collapsed in a matter of months. He had learned so many new things, he wasn’t even sure if he knew himself anymore. 
Had he changed? He must have, somehow at least. It was ironic, how the Gaunts’ plan to marry him off to a pureblood witch, who they thought would bring their family safety and respect, turned out to result in the complete opposite. Nothing, not even Marvolo’s paranoia and obsession for being a step ahead had come of use. They all had turned against them in the end, and for what? The faint idea of power and reputation? What worth did those things even have when everyone who bowed down to you only did so out of fear? They would take the first chance they got to stab you in the back with the very dagger you had given them. If you can’t trust your devotees, why bother?
Trust was something he thought of a lot, too. Did someone truly trust him? His fiancĂ©e for instance. She had put her faith in his hands several times in the past, yes. But would she trust him with her life? Had he done enough to earn her deepest trust yet? Or would she let him fall too when the opportunity arrived? When the deal was sealed, her sister was free and the Gaunts were powerless. Would she leave him, or would she stay? It kept him up at night when he thought about being alone again. Not because he depended on someone to be there, he was fine on his own. But he couldn’t change the fact that he wanted her to stay. And only her. No one else would do.
No one else had ever awoken that part of him before. That part that wasn’t as selfish, as calculating and cautious. And he knew no one else could. There was something about her, that slight brush of a hand when she touched him, or that unintentional notion of a smile she wore so often that broke out a whirlwind of emotion inside of him again and again. And he still didn’t even know what it was that he felt. It was nerve-racking, this mixture of nervousness, excitement and joy. If he had been able to, he would have buried those feelings long ago, deep down somewhere where they could have never disturbed him again. But he hadn’t. And he was glad about that. No matter how irritating it was, he craved it now. 
He craved to see her as often as possible, the sound of her voice, the touch of her fingers on him. Her mind, her body and everything in between had him longing, thirsting for even more proximity. He ached for that bond so much, it had become a hassle and he needed to suppress it to prevent himself from shying her away. 
But it was hard to feign composure when all he wanted was right there before him and she was so willing to accept his bid. It took all his might not to do what he most wanted and lock her up in a golden cage, where she would remain for him alone. His secret, his very own jewel. But most importantly his.
He couldn’t do that to her, he knew, she wouldn’t allow it. And he wouldn’t dare. He would never dare to add imbalance to the fragile structure they had built over the last year. She had come back to him eventually, day by day. He just needed to remind himself of that. Wait and improve his patience. Trust that she desired him as much as he did her. And by all accounts, she must have. Why else would she treat him the way she did? The idealist in him feasted on the way she acted towards him. How fearless and comfortable she was. How her mood could swing from gentle to feisty in a second, never dreading his reaction. Her honesty, which was the easiest, as well as the hardest thing to give someone, was what he most cherished her for.
Never before had he experienced something so close to perfection. The purity of emotion, so vibrant and raw it nearly hurt. But its absence was even worse, like a bottomless hole that sucked him in and ate him up from the inside. He had become addicted to the feeling and he would do anything to keep it. 
He would marry her, yes, and willingly so. He would do anything she asked from him. But if she was to leave him then, if she would take that dagger and push it into his heart, he knew it would destroy him.
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Masterpost | Masterlist | Part 16
Tags: @ariachaos @daardyrnitta
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onwhatcaptain · 1 year ago
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Spirk Meta: Connecting Star Trek SNW & TOS
I'm going to try to connect TOS and SNW's character arcs for Kirk and Spock's relationship with one another. This is part analysis and part prediction of where the writers are headed in shaping SNW into the TOS narrative.
With the most recent SNW episode, I think it's really fascinating that Spock is coping with the consequences of his attraction to Chapel and infidelity to T'Pring, while Kirk reacts to his attraction to La'an by showing a strong sense of loyalty to Carol.
I've been discussing with friends and they believe the two situations aren't comparable. However, I believe they're not only comparable, the writers completely intended them to be compared.
Spock has always served as a foil to Kirk. If you've seen TOS, you know this is true. Spock is logical, Kirk is unpredictable, and so forth. I don't really need to go into details about this, it's been explained to death. For me, it says a lot that in SNW E9, Spock is uncertain of who he is as a person and Kirk is uncertain of who he's meant to become as a commander.
Kirk has his mind on command, hence his discussion with Una, where he concludes that he needs to connect with people. That's the point of that song. Meanwhile, Spock's takeaway from his song is that he needs to specifically stop connecting with others on a personal level because it was a mistake to do so. It's a very internal-facing narrative, as it should be. But as we know, it doesn't work out that easy. For either of them. Ultimately, Spock does connect to people and finds himself emotionally compromised, and Kirk has trouble getting close to others. But Kirk is looking outward for answers, to other people, while Spock looks inward. To me, this extends to how they cope with difficult relationships, problems, and each other.
Kirk, like Spock, is attracted to someone he's not in a relationship with in this season. He clearly feels something with La'an but explicitly chooses not to pursue it seriously because he's in a relationship (some of the time) with Carol Marcus, who is having his child. Spock, on the other hand, says he wants to feel at this time. He doesn't want to let his relationship get in the way of experiencing something new with Christine Chapel, even at the detriment of his core beliefs. The really interesting thing about this is that these two characters arrive at the same conclusion even by making different choices. They both end up incredibly lonely, a major thematic arc for both men throughout TOS.
How they react at these crucial moments in SNW is a representation of their priorities in relationships, in life, and how they even become with one another. Kirk is married to the idea of command, costing him his relationships to other people. Spock is so deeply internally focused that he only has a few real friends by the time TOS rolls around, and can't accept that he cares about them, always couching it in terms of duty and obligation.
Spock essentially thinks, I need to not get close to people because I'll be hurt by those people. Kirk thinks, I need to get close to people where it matters, for command, but not so close that I'll hurt them. This ends up with both of them being painfully reticent to connect with anyone, to the point where in The Final Frontier, Kirk thinks he has no family.
MCCOY: It's a mystery what draws us together. All that time in space getting on each other's nerves and what do we do when shore leave comes along? We spend it together. Other people have families.
KIRK: Other people, Bones. Not us.
He eventually changes his mind by the end of the film, but you can see that this theme of loneliness goes all the way from SNW to nearly the end of their lives. Kirk's conclusion at the end of the film is that McCoy and Spock are his family.
But we see this idea of loneliness repeat so often that Kirk has a several ex girlfriends in TOS show up, all on good terms with him except one who we won't talk about here. Spock, on the other hand, has mostly closed himself off to relationships of all kinds by TOS, even shaming himself for whatever it is he actually feels for Jim, who is his best friend at that point. And they both fight this loneliness aggressively in TOS and the films. Spock insists he feels shame for his friendship with Kirk, Kirk feels like his ship owns him and he can't have anyone in his life. This excerpt from The Naked Time, which I abridged significantly since there was a lot of interspersed discussion about physics, is revealing:
SPOCK: My mother. I could never tell her I loved her. An Earth woman, living on a planet where love, emotion, is bad taste. I respected my father, our customs. I was ashamed of my Earth blood. Jim, when I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed. Understand, Jim. I've spent a whole lifetime learning to hide my feelings. KIRK: I've got it, the disease. Love. You're better off without it, and I'm better off without mine. This vessel, I give, she takes. She won't permit me my life. I've got to live hers. I have a beautiful yeoman. Have you noticed her, Mister Spock? You're allowed to notice her. The Captain's not permitted. Now I know why it's called she. Flesh woman to touch, to hold. A beach to walk on. A few days, no braid on my shoulder.
They're both completely focused on their inability to love people. Spock is focused on talking about how he can't because of his identity, and Kirk is talking about how he can't because of his job. We even see Spock turn down an appeal from Chapel, as Chapel turns him down here. These two episodes have major parallels.
Just like in Subspace Rhapsody, Spock is thinking of himself, his faults, his issues, and Kirk is thinking about how he never stays in one place long enough to love someone. I think this sense of inability to experience deep love is actually setting up their friendship arc. Obviously, they eventually do love each other (in some way or the other). But it begins at what is clearly friendship, and notably, Kirk is eventually able to look past his marriage to command for Spock, and Spock is able to look past his reticence to relationships for Kirk (see Amok Time).
What's of interest to me is that we don't know how Spock and Kirk become close in the first place, but we will. It's clear they're very close friends by TOS, but in SNW currently, we haven't got an inkling of how that forms. My take on it is that it forms because of their respective struggles to connect with people. They're both struggling in precisely the same way: neither of them thinks they can or should get too close to people. For one another, they act as the only person they're able to completely let their guard down with. And that's possibly how they get close; that's the basis on which their relationship forms. They trust each other. Because they think they're not allowed to have or experience love, they end up more or less using one another as a stand-in for that need. In doing so, it brings us full circle. Kirk and Carol have a conversation about their relationship briefly in The Wrath of Khan.
KIRK: I did what you wanted. I stayed away. Why didn't you tell him? CAROL: How can you ask me that? Were we together? Were we going to be? You had your world and I had mine. And I wanted him in mine, not chasing through the universe with his father. Actually, he's a lot like you. In many ways. Please tell me what you're feeling. KIRK: There's a man out there I haven't seen in fifteen years who's trying to kill me. You show me a son that'd be happy to help him. My son. My life that could have been, and wasn't. And what am I feeling? Old. Worn out.
Kirk is terrified of aging. In this film, his past has come knocking, the same past SNW is exploring now. He's terrified of growing old and he's terrified he made the wrong decision when he was younger. I'd argue that that's because it's led to him feeling deeply alone, to the point where McCoy says they're treating his birthday like a funeral. Kirk not only feels like he belongs out in space because it's where he's meant to be, but because he doesn't feel so deeply alone, so much like a fish out of water, when he's out there adventuring. So he second guesses himself here: what have my choices cost me? Should I have not gone on to become who I am?
And the answer to that for him is no. This all ties together when Spock dies to save the ship at the end of this film. It's only in a few places in TOS and then finally here where Spock is able to talk openly about friendship and love:
SPOCK: I have been and always shall be your friend. Live long and prosper.
Kirk is devastated but while grieving, he can't help but feel young. And even then, feeling young isn't enough, because he can't stand not being in control, which we see in the next several films. He essentially can't handle life without command or without Spock.
SNW is attempting to bring us full circle on The Wrath of Khan and its cast. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that the character arcs we will eventually be given by the writers of SNW between Kirk and Spock is completely bookended by their feelings of loneliness, self doubt, and connection with others beginning from this episode through the TOS films. It's extremely interesting that they choose to do this on the SNW end by showing us where Kirk and Spock are both failing in their respective relationships with others and how they grow into that with one another, only to experience violent ups and downs throughout the films as they finally try to come to terms with who they really are as people, and who they really are as friends.
I'm interested to see how that will begin from season 3 onwards.
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middle-name-queer · 1 year ago
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A great thing about the good place is how all four of the main crew are actually self-centered
We commonly identify forms of self-centered behavior such as selfishness that is exemplified by Elenor. (aka "a Bad Person"), but then you have Chidi and Tehani. These two are far less classical in their self-centered behavior but are still self-centered, nevertheless.
The show makes Tehani's folly pretty clear, despite all her philanthropic acts she still centers herself in every situation. How she ended up there is actually parallel to Elenor's upbringing, the only real difference is the glitz and the glamour. They both had parents that were withholding for one reason or another, neither felt seen nor wanted and so one shut down to protect herself, the other made her entire existence a performance, either way they are deeply, deeply self-centered people.
But Chidi is my favorite, for the obvious reason that his self-centered behavior is the least obvious. Now of course it's made pretty clear to us as viewers but as a character within the world, for nearly all situations most people would judge Chidi as a good (albeit, sometimes annoying) person. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone who would out right call him self-centered... yet he is!
Chidi acts as though the world rests squarely on his shoulders, that each little choice he makes carries the weight to change the trajectory of humanity. Putting this into words pretty clearly illustrates the ridiculousness of it. It simply isn't reality, and it shows how, even though Chidi is a "good person" (vs Elenor and Jason) he is still susceptible to the very human condition of not looking past yourself. Another way to state it (as I'm sure many have before) he basically suffers from thinking he's a main character. (lol) Now, lucky for him he actually is one but translating this to real life you can see how people fall prey to this way of thinking, convoluting their lives due to the faulty belief that they, and they alone, can make or break the world around them.
This rolls around my brain like a marble because, I did this! For an embarrassingly long time in my youth, I truly felt the grief and horror that comes with thinking you, and you alone, can fix the world's problems. And I think this sort of thing isn't talked about enough because there isn't an obvious red flag of being a "bad person". Chidi is "good" and so there is a smoke screen effect hiding how poor his behavior actually is. (Can you tell I deeply identify with his character? đŸ€”)
Jason is an interesting case in his own right, because he's self-centered almost in the same way as a small child. I assume Donkey Doug was simply unequipped to help Jason develop past that stage in his upbringing, in tandem with say... other lifestyle choices, Jason's overall mental development is limited. He's an interesting example of how not all self-centered behavior is motivated by innate "selfishness". Jason is very much capable of empathy, generosity, and comradery, as shown by his relationship to Janet, lifelong friendships, and his participation and organization of a 60-person dance crew. This is in opposition to Elenor, a selfishly self-centered person who could not form meaningful or lasting relationships.
Jason Mendoza's behavior is more of a big kid who acts on impulse, this can obviously be perceived as "hurtful" and when done by a grown adult it may be judged as "he's a bad person". But when looking at his overall character it's clear that he doesn't make a single move with any ill intent or malice. You can easily reason with him in nearly all situations, even when he chooses to throw a molotov at a train, all it takes is grabbing him by the arm and telling him to knock it off. He doesn't argue or get defensive, unlike versions of Elenor who would tell you to "go fork yourself". Jason is only self-centered because he struggles to see the big picture, but when it's shown to him, more often than not he accepts it with a little guidance.
I have no end point here other than watching these characters exude self-centeredness in four distinctly different ways, only to then learn and better themselves, is a delight!
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katerinaaqu · 4 months ago
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What is your opinion about Achilles’ and Agamemnon’s personality? And about their conflict in the Iliad? I’m going to write an opinion essay about this, but first I wanted to ask you, because I’m curios about your opinion. Thank you for your answer in advance! :)
Thank you very much for honoring me with an ask and for the beautiful question! It is such a wide subject but I will try to answer it the best I can.
Ironically both kings seem to have a great deal of things in common. Both seem to desire their honor to be intact and the glory of the battlefield but also hold the laws of gods highly in regard. I should say Agamemnon is awfully much projected as the villain and Achilles as the hero but quite honestly I think this is a very blunt separation I mean is Agamemnon more of a villain for retalliating against his price woman taken away from him vs Achilles who not only refused to help literally ANY greek whatsoever but also desired their doom so that he will be honored and begged to come back? Is Achilles more of a hero for fighting for those he loves over Agamemnon that always was in the middle of the battle never cowering away and being one of the greatest heroes among them? I think not.
One main difference between the two, as funny as it sounds, is the age chasm. Like it happens to modern times, in antiquity the older generation would often clash with the younger. Agamemnon is definitely proud and powerful but he is also prudent at many cases in his approaches. Achilles is much more impulsive, much more reactive (for example his first instict was to slay Agamemnon for the dishonor instead of yelling or protesting and he is stopped by Athena) however both seem to be doing stuff in their rage that they later regret. For example Agamemnon in his rage for potential dishonor before his peer kings, he sends away and threatens the priest of Apollo, thing he later regrets even if he knows it is not a good idea deep down. Similarly Achilles regretted his rage that made him refusing to get in battle, thus sending Patroclus in his place, thus playing the fate's game and sending him to his doom.
Agamemnon's contradiction between pride and justice can be seen later how he handles the situation. He is the first to attempt a reconciliation with Achilles, the one to make the first move. However his pride prevents him from going directly so he sends the most respected among the kings including Odysseus and Phoenix as ambassadors to negotiate their relationship. It takes Achilles an entire tragedy of losing Patroclus to personally accept the gifts of Agamemnon and reconcile (another interesting dualism how Agamemnon sends an official entourage to ask for forgiveness while Achilles goes directly at him and reconciles in a "by the way" talk.)
The clash between each other was always about pride. Agamemnon felt his pride being hurt when he would lose Chriseis (and one can say he was smitten for the girl given how he says he likes her more than his wife Clytaimnystra) and he feels his authority threatened when it is Achilles of all people to oppose him. Achilles who already had a reputation being a demigod and their best fighter. In a way his clash with Achilles was more a matter of principle than a real hatred towards Achilles. Achilles for the same reason felt his pride hurt when someone else removed his price from him and he felt the injustice deeply in his flesh. He also considered himself better fighter (and he was) so his pride was double-hurt when a man he considered beneath him decided to abuse his power and bring him to shame. It was always a clash of pride and authority. In one way it was also Homer's way to show how generations clash with each other.
Their personalities clash because they share some common principles and they hold their pride very high in regards (along with most part of the Greek world of course). Agamemnon is the old man, the authority and the one that the youth would often clash with; Achilles is the youth that questions authority and speaks against the injustices of it when he sees it. Their clash also shows in Homer how wars are never about the bipolar "us vs them" but sometimes clashes happen within the same team, the same nation and how great consequences that has for the people involved.
Both Achilles and Agamemnon in the name of their prides made mistakes that costed the greek army a lot and their clash has shaped the battlefield a lot. Definitely Agamemnon shouldn't abuse his power and take away something from Achilles out of spite and Achilles shouldn't have hurt the entire greek army in the name of his grudge either. Now should we say that Agamemnon as a tad more of things to answer for given that he is not only the oldest of the two but also bears responsibility and should act accordingly? Absolutely. But I think this also shows hos master of human psychology Homer is. For sometimes humans act out of impulse even if they shouldn't.
I hope this helps! ^_^ If you want some more specific answer forgive me for not adding it and I shall try to add it more. ^_^
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