#he was traumatized and betrayed by his brother ofc he’s not going to come out okay

[valewritessss]

[ephemeralgalaxies]

Loki Ep4 Spoilers (again)

TL;DR Mobius is a jealous loner desperate for a connection to heal his own broken self, but for all the crap he gives Loki about not being able to trust others and putting up walls, he's just as terrified of being known and then left behind.

Would just like to take note once again on Mobius refusing to listen to Loki, for once not being able to tell apart (on the surface) what are lies and what's the truth because Loki has done the impossible-- learned to love himself (kinda). For once, this is a part of Loki's life that Mobius doesn't get to witness, and it breaks him. He can't spend weeks analyzing each little tell, it's all right there in the moment. It's a different Loki than he's ever known. Before, in ep1, Mobius knew exactly what to say to get answers out of Loki-- he's studied this. But now? Now Loki is a regular, real person (in a sense... TVA is kinda weird in their "is this technically a part of reality") that went through another traumatic event without Mobius watching alongside. He's scared and doesn't trust himself. He's jumping to conclusions, he's pushing down all his typical questions, coming off harsher, less patience.

And then when he realizes that Loki has learned to care for/love Sylvie (in whatever way that is, this Loki has never truly loved anyone before-- always holding back in fear), it throws out everything he's ever known about Loki out the window. He is changing, not just into someone the TVA can use, but rather into a person of his own. And Mobius doesn't know how to process that immediately, instead resorting to trying to embarrass Loki about his "crush" on Sylvie, lashing out on idea of them forming a romantic relationship because Loki couldn't even form a proper friendship with him (in his mind, especially after Loki leaves the Supermarket with Sylvie in ep2).

He's getting jealous, defensive, angry. The only other time we've seen him remotely this "not-calm" was earlier in ep2 when Hunter B-15 instructs Loki to come with her instead. (my god, he really is just so jealous) (to be fair, though, his closest friend is a lying back-stabber who gives the order to prune him, so... not like this version of Mobius is really in the healthiest environment to begin with...)

And the fact that he just won't let go with that, freaking "I don't need you anymore... or as you might say, 'our interests are no longer aligned.'" Like, I'm sorry but that is a sure petty jab at Loki for choosing Sylvie and this "variant life" over staying and helping him at the TVA (as he's still refusing to believe that they are all variants like Loki/Sylvie say). Especially adding "Yeah, I guess you don't do partners. Unless, of course, it benefits you and you intend to betray them at some point," and "Why? Cause I lied about your 'girlfriend'?"

LIKE SIR. IM TRYING TO MAKE THIS A SERIOUS POST AND IM CRYING WHILE WATCHING BUT I JUST KEEP LAUGHING AT HIS RESPONSES BECAUSE THEY'RE KILLING ME JUST HOW HURT HE IS BECAUSE LOKI FINALLY LEARNED TO LOVE SOMEONE AND HE WASN'T A PART OF IT. BECAUSE LOKI LEFT HIM IN ORDER TO BE "HAPPY", THIS WHOLE JOURNEY FOR MOBIUS-- PROBABLLY HIS BIGGEST CASE --JUST BURNT OUT, ENDING LIKE THAT. ALL HOPES OF "SAVING THE BROKEN THINGS", THAT "SCARED LITTLE BOY SHIVERING IN THE COLD" GONE BECAUSE HE NEVER REALLY NEEDED MOBIUS. BECAUSE LOKI (EVEN SYLVIE) COULD BE HAPPY ON THEIR OWN. THEY DIDN'T NEED TO BE THE VILLAIN, TO CAUSE PAIN AND DESTRUCTION AND DEATH. THEY COULD MAKE THEIR OWN LIVES.

And if they could do that... then how good is the TVA, truly?

So instead, he has to twist this, find some way to be repulsed by Loki's development-- "this kind of sick, twisted romantic relationship" because how dare Mobius, even for a second, think that maybe there is more to this relationship between Loki and Sylvie than an "incredible seismic narcissist" only ever being able to fall in love with himself? To look in the reflection and see beauty-- not in the dagger and what it's bond, it's craft, it's story means, but rather in the image mirrored back through that love. The person loving, not the existence of love itself. That's why it stabs you in the back, that's why the metaphor failed, because at the time, Loki didn't understand real love, romantic, familial, platonic, or self. He cared for his mother, but he failed her-- he lost her. He always pushed her away enough to keep himself safe, never truly feeling it all. But with Sylvie? it's different. Sylvie understands him. Sylvie, in some ways, is him. Of course he has to learn to love her, to appreciate all she has accomplished despite her struggles. He has to love her so that he can understand that he, too, deserves love. If Sylvie, with the same childhood and parents as him, with trauma and blood on her hands like him, that same desperate attempt to be alone in order to save themselves from being abandoned... if he knows she is worthy of love and happiness, then why can't he be as well? Why does he always have to be alone?

And then when Mobius tells him that Sylvie's been pruned, it destroys him-- he's alone again. Because he can never return to his timeline, never have that Ragnarok bond with his brother, be a true Odinson, avenge his mother. Sylvie is dead-- the one person that could possibly love him because she was him and he's a narcissist (in his own words). Mobius no longer believes him, can no longer see through the lies, too blinded by his own rage and fear and pain. Loki, once again, has no one (the fact that you can pinpoint the exact moment he realizes all this too, ep4 23:06, while Mobius continues to brush his warnings aside and rant on Loki and Sylvie).

"Well, I'm gonna have to close this case now, 'cause I don't need you anymore."

And so, he takes one last jab at Mobius--

"Out of all the liars in this place, and there are a great many, you are the biggest."

M: "Why? 'Cause I lied about your girlfriend?" Because I told you she was dead, because you were terrified, because you don't know how to go on without her?

L: "Oh, no. That I can respect." Ofc you would, that's your job, get information out of me. Manipulate me into thinking I can trust you because you don't trust me enough to let me tell you on my own. Because everything I do is out of my own interest. Of course you would lie about that, so would I. "I mean the lies you tell yourself."

You refuse to believe me now, to think that I could care for you as well, that I am capable of more than loving myself or a version of me. That maybe, for once, I'm not just trying to look out for myself. That maybe knowing that you're trapped here after believing you actually had free will, to learn that no one in this universe-- this sick, twisted timeline --actually has free will. Please believe me, please let me help. I didn't give up on Sylvie, I won't give up on you if you just give me time.

Anyways, this episode absolutely destroyed me

[guymaito]

For the ask thing :3:

Top 5 animals? Top 5 fav/comfort movies? Top 5 fav cartoons/shows?

I’m honestly glad to know theres other people including you who actually like Pakku and his character :3 Yes he was a completely asshole at the start but he did change, it’s just that it was so subtle that not everyone saw it

Also random song associations with characters:

Fighter by Jack Stauber reminds me very well of Piandao, Pakku, and Jeong Jeong as their younger selves during the war.

Why do I associate Grace by Lewis Capaldi with Bumi? (the music video tho would give more context to why it might make sense)

Oh Klahoma by Jack Stauber reminds me of Piandao and his overall anxieties for his partners.

Consider some of these songs as sorta song recs? Idk but still :3

1. Giraffes!! the reason why their tongues look like That is cause of extra melanin and to prevent sunburn!!

2. Seals!! there are 33 different kinds of pinnipeds and there over 50 extinct pinnipeds

3. Dogs!! they can only see in shades of blue and yellow, so bright red roses look yellowish brown and lively green grass look dehydrated and dead

4. Crows!! a group of them are called a murder

5. Cows!! they’re actually colorblind, they can’t see red specifically, so male cows, bulls aren’t getting mad at the color, they’re getting angry at the movement

1. The Losers movie from 2010, it’s a action mystery movie about Clay and his team that are a part of an elite US Special Forces Unit and are approached by a mysterious woman to exact revenge on their handler, Max, who betrayed them and just,,,the characters, CHRIS EVANS, jake jensen and all of his kinda weird glory, THE ELEVATOR SCENE, also cougar!!

2. Captain America and The Winter Soldier movie, it’s a action movie, which makes me realize that a lot of my faves are prolly gonna be action something, but anyways, it’s about Steve Rogers, who now lives in the nation's capital as he tries to adjust to modern times. An attack on a S.H.I.E.L.D. colleague throws Rogers into a web of intrigue that places the whole world at risk. Joining forces with the Black Widow, Natasha Romanov, and a new ally, Sam Wilson, Steve struggles to expose an ever-widening conspiracy, but he and his team soon come up against an unexpected enemy. oh my god,,,just,,,the fight scenes, the running scene at the beginning of the movie, steve meeting sam that way, just everything!! this was also my introduction to marvel so in my mind no other marvel movie can live up to this (other than spiderman away from home)

3. Spiderman Far from Home, again, it’s a action movie, i’m not gonna explain this cause the post is getting long, but!! mj and peter!! just,,,all of their scenes!! also jake gyllenhaal!! the fight scenes!! the soundtrack!! everything about it is amazing!!

4. Thunderforce, again, i’m not gonna explain, it’s an action adventure and comedy movie (ofc it is look at the other 3 🙄 /s), the relationship between lydia and emily!! the relationship between lydia and emily’s daughter!! the humor!! the fight scenes!! the soundtrack!!,,,,just everything about is good despite the bad ratings

that’s more like a top 4 than a top 5 but that’s like,,,,all the movies i genuinely like and will rewatch if given the chance and for that where’s a honorable mention: Hamilton (the movie version on disney+ that came out i think nearly a year ago), the soundtrack is amazing, the characters are better, got some funny moments and is mostly historically accurate, like yeah angelica did forget her name cause at the time of her meeting alex ham, she was married to a man named john church (or something church idk) so her last name was church but she introduced herself to alexander as angelica schuyler, not angelica church, so in satisfied she was telling the truth about forgetting her own name, but in the same song she said that her father had no sons even though the real angelica had 3 brothers.

1. Avatar the last Airbender, ofc or else i would have a blog (mostly) centered around it and it’s sequel /s but fr though?? it’s such a good show!! zuko’s redemption arc, iroh’s redemption arc (even though his more subtle than zuko’s) , aang!! love him and his character so much, especially when he gets to be a sassy little shit, sokka and his shit humor and brains, katara, toph, hakoda and HIS shit humor, the fight scene with hakoda (he fights kinda like a waterbender, using his opponent’s momentum against them), bato and his lovely, lovely voice, piandao, aang going ‘how about he get on YOUR back and you can fly us to the south pole’ or something like that to sokka after he complained about appa not flying higher, the boiling rock episodes, hakoda apparently being a good dad but a shitty prison riot starter (love that for him), just!! atla is such a good ass show, im not changing my mind. also!! i like the way they introduced ozai, not showing his face but still presenting him as not only a shit dad, but a shit person as well, like up until book three, we only saw him like, the neck down and in like, a flashback or two (i don’t really remember how many flashbacks ozai was in actually cause it’s nearly been a full year since i last watched it) and that’s it, so it made seeing his face for the first time all the more better cause you was already like ‘what the hell does this shitbag look like’ and then you see him and now ur like ‘oh!! THATS what he looks like!!’

2. The Legend of Korra, again, ofc or else i wouldn’t have a blog (mostly) centered around it and it’s prequel, just,,,,korra’s arc from being hot headed to calm is fantastic but also sad considering the way she went from that to this, korra’s book 1 character!! for whatever reason i really like b1 korra, just,,her design, her hair style (even though she had it for nearly the entire series) just!!! book 1 korra <3, also the entirety of book 1!! just amon posing as a anti bender nonbender despite being a waterbender himself, the scene where tenzin and his kids nearly lost their bending, which would’ve meant that, if tenzin did lose his bending but his kids didn’t, that would’ve meant the strongest airbender would’ve been his 11 year old daughter, the gruesome way to end the season finale episode by doing a murder suicide which was dark as fuck for what?? a kids show??, also the villains in this show!! their good as hell!! the backstory of the red lotus and how and why they were created?? amon and his anti bending?? kuvira and her plan to basically rule the earth kingdom (idk i haven’t finished book 4), unalaq and his spiritual stuff and wanting to become a dark avatar and fusing with vaatu?? also!! the other disturbing scene of korra basically getting tortured near the end of book 3, i mean?? it deadass left her hella traumatized and unable to walk, again hella dark for a fucking kids show

3. The Walking Dead, even though i haven’t finished it or watched in like, 4-5 months, i just,,,the way the presented negan!! practically foreshadowing him the entirety of season 6!! him appearing at the very end of the season 6 finale and pretty much having an entire episode dedicated to him in the very beginning of season 7 (which is why some fans argue he was introduced in s7 not s6 cause of the fact that he didn’t show up until the very end of the s6 finale but had an entire episode with him in it in s7, while others say vice versa cause the very the first time we see him was in s6 not s7), the fact that the walking dead logo was getting progressively more and more decayed as the series go on?? the fact that the WALKERS (the zombies) are getting more and more decayed as the series go on?? dale’s death scene?? shane’s death scene?? negan’s relationship with rick’s daughter?? the fact that this show also has what?? 11, 12 seasons?? which reminds me that i’m still on season 9 of twd

4. Sabrina the Teenage Witch, just,,,salem and his sarcasm?? sabrina’s aunts?? sabrina herself?? just!! everyone is just so fucking funny in this show it’s unreal, specially salem!! a lot of my favorite scenes have salem in them, the ‘are you on a women’s chat room again?’ (or something like that) and salem saying ‘i like the attention’ in response, that one harvey and salem scene that i don’t know how to describe without turning this into a giant paragraph like the ones before this one

5. blue’s clues, it was my favorite childhood show and i love the reboot of it so much!! especially p for pride moment in that song i don’t remember the name of, blue themself!! steve leaving which was sad but getting an equally amazing host in the process?? amazing!! the scene where salt and pepper introduced their baby, paprika?? just,,,it’s such good show and i loved it when i was younger and i still love it now!!

[holylulusworld]

Devil’s Bargain - Part 11 - Fix you or break you even more

Summary: Getting the job as Jared Padalecki’s assistant was a dream coming true until you woke up in a living nightmare. He’s angry, selfish and possessive. The worst of all - his anger is focused on you. Quitting your job was your only way out - only it wasn’t the end of your nightmare...

Pairing: Jared Padalecki x Reader, OFC’s Mark, Brad & Caleb (reader’s brothers), Jensen Ackles 

Warnings: angst, language, injured reader, comforting, mentions of miscarriage/sexual assault/physical abuse (not Jared and nothing graphic), protective brothers, violence, blood, mentions of mental health problems (I am not a therapist so bear with me)

PLEASE BE AWARE THIS IS A FANFIC. For the sake of the fic he’s single and an asshole. I still love him, but this fic came to my mind months ago...

Devil’s Bargain Masterlist

The moment Jared is outside of the hospital he feels Mark’s fist collide with his face. Pain shoots through his skull be he doesn’t fight back.

“Fight back, asshole. Are you such a coward? Only able to hurt vulnerable women but you don’t stand a chance against a man. Raise your fists, Padalecki.” Mark growls as Caleb and Brad circle Jared.

“I deserve everything you throw at me. You are right, Y/N is right. I…I am a monster and I hurt her beyond repair. She said…” Sniffling Jared feels Mark’s fist hit his chin, causing him to stumble backward only for Caleb to push him back toward Mark.

“I was in the army, bastard. I know how to kill a man with my hands for sure.” Mark lies. Truth is he was a doctor helping injured soldiers during his military time, but Jared doesn’t need to know. “I will rip you apart.”

“Y/N… She said that I hurt her that much she’s as broke as …” Another punch hits Jared and he spits blood to the ground. “After Scott…” Now Caleb sees red and balls his hands into fists to hit Jared’s back.

“You will never use her name again. Stay away from my sister, lunatic!” Caleb lunges forward, tries to hit Jared but Jensen calls his name and he stops in his tracks.

Blood is dripping down Jared’s face, but he doesn’t care about the blood or pain. All he has on his mind are your words.

“Y/N asked me to stop you, guys. Your sister doesn’t want you to get arrested. I know you are mad, and I understand you want to hurt Jared some more, but you better stop now.” Jensen tries to interfere but Caleb lands one last punch to Jared’s eye.

“Now I am done, Ackles. Make sure that piece of shit stays away from our sister or I can’t guarantee he will survive.” Brad warns before he stops his brother.

“Enough, Cal, enough Mark. We are going to clean your fists and go back to Y/N’s room and never even mentioned this man.”

“How do you feel, baby sis? Are you ready to leave this shitty hospital and go home?” While Mark picks you up to carefully help you into the wheelchair Brad and Caleb grab your bags. 

“Jensen couldn’t be here, but he and Danny will visit you as soon as he’s able to get a day off. I made sure we got all your belongings from your apartment and checked on your car.” Explaining your car got totaled Brad tries to distract you from asking questions about Jared’s whereabouts.

“He’s gone, Y/N. After we had a serious conversation Jared left and didn’t come back. I warned the security and the nurses. They promised to make sure he says away from your room, or rather the hospital.”

“Be honest, Caleb. You threatened the hospital to sue them if they let Jared Padalecki enter the hospital ever again.” Mark laughs as you fist your shirt, not wanting to hear anything about your former boss.

“I just wanted to make sure this is over…” Caleb hands your phone, but you toss it into the bag, not wanting to check on any message or call now. “Let’s get out of here, baby sis.”

Mark is pushing the wheelchair, looking around to find any trace of Jared. While you simply nod as Brad tells you about your prepared room and your shut-down website.

“Thanks for shutting it down. I don’t feel like helping anyone right now. Maybe I’ll never be able to do so again. I will take Brad’s advice and open a practice again.” Defeated you wipe a few tears away. “I failed, boys. My feelings made me blind to see the truth.”

“The truth, Y/N?” Mark stops the wheelchair, kneeling next to you to take your hand in his. “Truth is Jared is a selfish bastard.”

“Truth is, Mark.” Taking a deep breath, you squeeze his hand. “Jared would’ve needed professional help.”

While your brother tries to protest you place one finger onto his lips to silence Mark.

“There’s fear manifested deep inside of him and I brought it out without thinking about consequences. Jared got hurt, just like me. The person he loved and trusted the most betrayed, even blackmailed him.”

“Y/N, he’s still an ass…” Caleb finds his voice faster than Mark and kneels on the other side of your wheelchair. “He had no right to do what he did, baby sis.”

“I know you are right, all of you but Jared is like a wounded wild animal. Instead of stitching the wound up and let it heal he place a band-aid onto an infected wound and let it suppurate without changing the band-aid.”

“Do not defend that man! He’s a monster, not worth your compassion or anything.” Brad steps in, shaking his head furiously.

“Brad, you are all experts for the physical treatment of a patient, I am the one knowing how to help on an emotional and psychological base. What he did…” Trailing off you need to swallow the lump in your throat.

“That night, Jared escalated as I pushed him too far. I allowed him to get close to me, Brad. I crossed the line between being professional and involving feelings. What Jared did is awful but a good therapist wouldn’t have pushed him; a good therapist would’ve offered a ‘regular’ therapy.”

“You are smart and helped over fifty people with your unorthodox methods, Y/N. You let him get close, you feel in love…? Fuck it!” Caleb exclaims as he looks at his brother. “No man has the right to hurt you like that only as he’s damaged goods.”

“Caleb is right, baby sis. You got hurt, no beyond hurt by a man and still, you gave Jared a chance to win your heart. He is too blind to see you are a wonderful person. His loss, not yours…”

Watching your brother help you get out of the wheelchair Jared hides in his car. With shaking fingers, he holds a shirt you forgot in his hands.

Over the last days, he searched your apartment, his house, and his trailer to find anything you left.

“I need to give it back…” Jared whispers as you let Mark pick you up to place you into the backseat. “I need to…”

Six weeks later…

Standing in front of your childhood home Jared twists your shirt in his hands. He knows he will cross another line but the last weeks made him see he can’t imagine a life without you.

“Are you fucking kidding me!” Mark is the first one storming out of the house to grab Jared's shirt, fisting it roughly to glare at the tall actor. “I told you to stay away. Do you want me to call the cops and let them arrest you?”

“I came to her to bring the shirt back. Can I not talk to her for five minutes? I have to tell her I am sorry and that…” Glaring at Jared Caleb and Brad join his brother, ready to give him another taste of their fists.

“What does he want here, Mark?”

“I…I am doing therapy again. Over the last weeks, I told my new therapist everything I did, and he suggested to apologize again without holding anything back.” Sniffling Jared gets a piece of paper out, but Mark won’t have it.

Grabbing the letter Mark crumples the paper, dropping it to the ground. “I will tell you one last time to stay away from Y/N. You did enough. She doubts her whole concept for therapy thanks to you sick bastard.”

“I know that I have problems. Months ago, I refused to admit my fears, my uncertainty and that I am not able to trust people. Please tell Y/N she made me see I am a …” Sniffling Jared looks at the piece of paper on the ground.

“She’s brilliant and no one is a better therapist. I wouldn’t be here, doing therapy without her.”

“Great for you, asshole. Y/N has a traumatic past too. Unlike you, she gave people a chance without using her past to judge you right away.” Brad spats. “Do you have the slightest idea what Scott did to her…huh?”

“No.” Choking the words out Jared feels a cold river run down his spine. “I know he attacked and abused her…”

“That’s not all.” This time Caleb steps closer, looking at Jared with angry eyes. “For two years he hurt her. Y/N tried to hide the bruises, cuts and all. She’s a good person, a great therapist and tried to help Scott, even tho he hurt her.”

“One day, he pushed her too far and Y/N waited for him to leave for work. My sister, she called me, and I picked her up, drove her to the hospital.”

Wiping a single tear away Brad gets an ultrasound picture out to show it Jared. “That day, she told him about the baby and still, he slapped her face, even punched her nose.”

“That’s…” Gasping Jared nods as Mark glares at him, asking for silence till your brothers are done. “Awful…”

“Yes, it is, Padalecki.” Mark spats as Brad composes himself.

“Y/N told me about the baby and my brothers, and I helped her find an apartment. A few weeks passed and we all believed Scott is gone for good.” Placing the ultrasound picture back into his wallet Brad sniffles silently.

“Brad and I were out of town at that time. We weren’t around and…” Caleb’s voice cracks and Mark must take the lead as so often.

“She was alone at home, had a day off. Someone knocked at her door and she believed it’s me as we wanted to have lunch. I was late and…” Mark’s hands start shaking and he let go of Jared’s shirt. “I came half an hour too late and I will hate myself for it for the rest of my life.” 

“Mark, that wasn’t your fault back then. If not that day, he would’ve tried any other day. No one could’ve known Scott would go after Y/N or do such a thing.” Caleb tries to calm his brother, soothe him but Mark feels guilty and this will never change.

“I opened the door and heard someone whimper. When I entered the bedroom, I found Y/N on the floor. Her face was swollen, her wrists black and blue. She was lying on the floor, naked and there was so much blood running down her legs.” Mark’s voice trembles as he meets Jared’s eyes.

“God…I am so sorry…” 

“I don’t care if you are sorry or not, Jared. That man entered her apartment, or rather forced entrance and hit my sister. She begged him to go, to not hurt his baby but Scott had other things planned. That monster violated my sister to remind her he’s the only man allowed to touch her but he didn’t stop there. He hit her hard enough to cause a miscarriage.”

“Still, she tried to help me only for her to get hurt once again. I know this means nothing to you or your sister, but I see now that I have problems.” Jared picks the piece of paper up, glancing at the door as you slowly walk out of the house.

“Boys, give me two minutes.” Voice self-confident you look at your brothers and they reluctantly walk into the house, glaring at Jared before closing the door.

“Y/N, I am so sorry. What I did is unforgivable, I know that, but I wanted to tell you that I am doing therapy now and that you made me see I need to stop hurting people to feel better. Please believe me that I am terribly sorry for hurting you.” Placing the piece of paper into your hand Jared sniffles silently. “Can we not…”

“No, Jared. You are in the middle of a therapy and we both know you are no good for me, and I am no good for you. I know you believe coming here to tell me how you feel will help me…but it doesn’t.” Stuffing the piece of paper into your pocket you look up at Jared.

“Please, at least tell me I can see you again, even if it’s only one day…” Jared’s eyes fill with tears as you give him a cracked smile.

“You hurt me, Jared. Not with your words and the things you did while you believed I am your assistant. I am used to my patients to treat me like that but…”

Blinking a few tears away you clear your throat. “You made me believe you like me, and I let you touch me. You were the first man after what Scott did…”

“OH…Y/N.” Jared tries to cup your cheek, but you take a step back, shaking your head. “Sorry…I shouldn’t have…”

“Yeah, Jared. You shouldn’t have done this to me. I hate you, and I love you and that makes me hate you even more. You can’t come here and believe the world is spinning again only as you are sorry. I want you to leave now…please…”

“I love you too and I promise to become a better man, to be myself again one day.” Jared squeezes your shirt tightly, looking at you one last time. “Can I call you one day?”

“Wiping a few tears away you give Jared a cracked smile. “Maybe one day I do not hate you anymore but not yet, Jared…”

“Not yet…” Jared whispers as you walk toward the house, not looking back. “Maybe one day I can fix you instead of breaking you even more...”

SPN Forever Tags

@donnaintx​, @screechingartisancashbailiff​, @fallen-wolf22​, @sister-winchesters99​, @mogaruke​, @the-is13​, @helloitsmeamie203​, @sandlee44​ @strayrosesbloom​, @notyourtypicalrose​, @thewinchesterco​, @marvelfansworld​, @hobby27​, @gh0stgurl​, @flamencodiva​, @jay-and-dean​, @voltage-my2dlove, @spnhollis​, @chonisberonica​, @wittysunflower​, @supernaturalenchanted​, @shikshinkwon​, @yolobloggers​, @hhiggs, @laxe-from-outer-space​, @ilovefanfic86​, @linki-locks11​, @eggingamazinglove​, @trumpettay​, @fandom-imagines1​, @thenamelesschibi​, @waywardbaby​, @straycuties9​, @drakelover78​, @stuckys-whore​, @zxph-yr​, @i-love-superhero​, @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt​, @deepmuffinspymaker​, @katpatrova17​, @heyitscam99​, @fandom-princess-forevermore​, @neii3n​, @exo-nova​, @cocklesbelli​, @echoesofpassion​, @lauravic​, @shatteredabby​, @deanmonandnegansbitch​, @sea040561​, @lemondropirwin​, @lonewolf471​, @wronglanemendes​, @juniorhuntersam​, @helpmeluci​, @goodgodimaweirdperson​, @shadowkat-83​, @alltimesamantha​, @officialmarvelwhore​, @meganywinchester​, @miraclesoflove​, @lu-sullivan​, @maniacproffesor​, @hollymac79​, @kayla-2000​, @gracefultrenchcoat494​, @babygirls-fav​, @spnwoman​, @amiquette​, @alexoloughlinlover32​ @geekofmanyforms​, @jessica-marsh09​, @spnficgirl​, @shut-themoonscone​, @thequeenreaders​, @countrygal17a​, @atomicfandombomb​, @kteelou​, @soryuwifeyxx​, @kricketc28​, @defenderrosetyler​, @shortwinchester​, @maybesomedaygayyyy​, @tmiships4life​, @sabascio​, @that-place-called-middle-earth​​, @the-broken-angel-13​​, @bunnybaby89​​, @pandabiiissh​​, @maddiedott​​, @lilulo-12​​, @theoneandonlymelol​​, @mblaqgi​​, @clawsandshotguns​​ @justsomedreaming​​, @cassiopeia-barrow​​, @its-the-timey-wimey-winchesters​​, @mscarter213​​, @jo-like-josette​​, @mep6811​​, @prettydeaneyes​, @rvgrsbrns​, @deanwanddamons​, @certaindeanwinchesterforcastiel​

Sam/Jared Forever Tags

@moosekateer13​​​, @thevelvetseries​​, @train-wrecc​

Devils Bargain

@bitchwhytho​, @babygirls-fav​, @the-soulofdevil​, @albinotigerpython​​, @squirrelnotsam​​, @i-am-a-mes​​, @aubageddon91​​, @jessiejunebug​, @thebooksoverthemovies​​, @rebeq88-samw​ 

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Going through The AU ListTM again, and idk why but I completely skipped over the fact that you have a point break au. How I missed this, I will never know, but point is I noticed it now. Who’s Johnny and who’s Tyler?(Those are the names, right? Haven’t watched it in awhile lol)

Ahhh yeah I fkn love Point Break; although this one is actually for the new movie, not the old Keanu Reeves one! I’ve only seen little pieces of that movie xD

I actually have two or three AUs, but the one in question is my Stitch AU ofc (the others were Sterek) 

Stiles used to be an adrenaline junky, and he made his living through extreme sports sponsorships. One day while out doing something particularly reckless with dirt bikes and best friend Scott, something goes wrong. Scott was feeling a little unsure but Stiles told him it was fine, said to follow him, and off they went. Stiles makes it to the end of the line, but Scott isn’t behind him. It’s a traumatic experience and Stiles quits extreme sports all together, and decides to get a real job: he goes back to college and eventually gets into the FBI. 

Five years later, Stiles is the new agent being assigned to a case of adrenaline junkies committing high stakes heists. As their resident adrenaline junkie, Stiles is sent in undercover, where he meets Mitch.*

They hit it off, Mitch seems to be the leader’s (Ronnie) second in command of sorts. He’s different from the others in that he’s a lot more reserved, and doesn’t seem to care about all the wild partying. That doesn’t stop them from hooking up, though. 

They do all the challenges together, and for a little while Stiles gets swept up in their momentum. It’s fun, and he missed this. But then they start killing people, they intend to blow up a mine, and Stiles can’t allow that. It’s one thing when they’re stowing away on planes and jumping out the back with pallets of money, cutting it open to let it rain down on the poor villages below. That, Stiles could almost tell himself is a good thing. But killing people? Yes, the mining operation is unethical, but the workers themselves are innocent, just trying to get by. 

Stiles starts planning to sabotage the mission without getting caught. Unbeknownst to him, Mitch is already doing the same thing. Maybe Stiles catches him tampering with the charges, or maybe Stiles notices after that Mitch isn’t as disappointed as the others when they don’t go off and pulls him aside to talk about it. However it happens, that’s when Mitch realizes there’s something up with Stiles, and he starts digging. 

Mitch is familiar with Stiles’ works. He knows his particular brand of sport was MTB and dirt bikes, very grounded, so what is he doing with them going skydiving and snowboarding? The night they met was at a party out on the ocean, catching waves that no one in their right mind would attempt; and Stiles completely wiped out. Got caught up in the wave, tumbled under water, and cracked his head on the rocks. He probably would have drowned if Mitch hadn’t been there to pull him out. And then it’s also strange that Stiles dropped off the radar for five years, and is suddenly back, not just doing sports, but breaking international law along with them. 

Mitch is Intimidating and Stiles is forced to come clean that he’s with the FBI, expecting for Mitch to tell the others and to end up dead in a ditch by morning. Instead, Mitch surprises him by laughing because of fucking course. Of course he’s FBI, why not? 

Stiles doesn’t get why that’s so funny - and still thinks he’s going to be killed because Mitch is laughing but it’s not a happy laugh, it’s a ‘what the fuck, this is a disaster’ kind of laugh - and then Mitch tells Stiles he’s CIA. 

Of. Fucking. Course. 

It’s a whole ass disaster, the FBI meddling in a CIA operation is never good, but Stiles is in too deep now. 

In the end, everyone in the group gets picked off one by one; until it’s just Mitch, Stiles, and Ronnie left. Ronnie gets away for almost a year, waiting for the perfect moment to do the final challenge, waiting for a wave big enough. When the time finally comes Mitch goes after him; it’s an ocean storm, a perfect setting for disaster, and that’s exactly what happens. 

Ronnie’s going to die, and he knows it. The person who’s footsteps he’s following died during this same challenge, but he’s determined to see it through. Mitch tries to stop him, but when he sees there’s no getting through to Ronnie, he says fuck it, let him drown. And sue him, but he was with Ronnie for over a year, and he hates the guy, but he also kind of respects him/has some fondness towards him. It’s complicated and Mitch doesn’t like feelings, but he knows how much this means to Ronnie. So when it comes down to risking his own life to arrest Ronnie, vs. letting Ronnie get his dying wish, he chooses the latter. Tells the helicopter pilot to get them out of there before the storm causes them to crash, watches the giant wave destroy his boat, and tells himself he doesn’t care. He’s always been good at lying to himself. 

There’s never any body to be recovered, but there’s no doubt he’s dead, died at sea like he always wanted, doing what he loved. The FBI is probably pissed, they wanted him to stand trial, but Mitch doesn’t care; he’s not around to cause problems anymore, everybody wins. Stiles is the only one he ever tells what really happened, and Stiles gets it. He got caught up in it too, after all. And once upon a time they were all friends. 

*originally Mitch and Stiles were brothers, and Mitch told Stiles he’d been traveling for work, meanwhile the whole time he was up to No Good. When Stiles first meets the group and sees Mitch, he’s pissed and feels betrayed about being lied to. Mitch pretends they’ve never met for Stiles’ own safety, and it’s just a whole disaster. Later they have a fight, Mitch tries to explain what he’s doing here, says it’s not what it looks like. But the group is on an official terrorist list, the FBI, InterPol, and several other agencies are after them, and Stiles can’t believe Mitch is really here willingly. He’s got to be brainwashed or radicalized or something.

But tbh I’m going through to see what AUs don’t need to have the brother aspect, and this is one of those where it’s not all that necessary, so I’m taking it out for the sake of palatability. 

[janiedean]

Hey, lately I've seen a lot of people hate on book!Tyrion and talk about what a terrible person he is and wanted to hear your take on that, because I don't really get it. I think that he is a really interesting character in the books, more so than in the second half of the show, if you ask me.

(sorry for replying this late I needed time to get to it and stuff happened haha)

soooo... tldr: I think *tumblr* has a shitload of issues with tyrion that are 90% rooted in the fact that this website thinks hating men is cool/that men are the worst always *and* also only cries ableism when it’s convenient or to call ableist things that are not in fact such (ie ‘omg if you use stupid is ableist’ which... automatically implies that anyone with a disability is *stupid* and the likes), and in tyrion’s case there’s.... an overlap of those specific issues added to the fact that since he’s a general fan favorite regardless of any fault of his then it’s fine to trash on him. going in depth on it:

now, there’s admittedly a difference in between book and show tyrion in the sense that the show version is a lot less gray and has cut on a lot of material in that sense, but like...... it’s d&d who after they decided to chunk the book storyline couldn’t write him properly so I’m not touching that topic because it’s not *his* issue, it’s theirs, and as you said... well obv. he’s more interesting in the books, because he has a lot more layers and he actually does something post-asos instead of rehashing the same three jokes that aren’t even on par with *his* book humor because he’s too smart for d&d to pull off correctly (I mean from S6 to S8 they managed to give him good lines in... the finale? PROBABLY? but they can’t write him, it’s their problem);

when it comes to book!tyrion, he obviously has faults same as 99,9% of the characters in these books, but all of those faults are... absolutely understandable given his background? I mean, so he hates his father and his sister, has fairly unhealthy coping methods and that got worse after asos, but... he comes from a lifetime of parental/familial abuse that crowned with tywin forcing him to rape his then-wife who actually did love him and convincing him he was unlovable, cersei was molesting him in the cradle and the only person who cared about him outside the uncles brigade which wasn’t around all the time was jaime who went off to get traumatized for himself at thirteen, and that just because of how he looks and for his disability, do we ask him to be a perfectly adjusted person? not really, and actually the fact that he tries to be better than 99% of his family all the time and that he actually has a lot of empathy for disadvantaged people and empathy in general says a lot about how he’s a pretty damn decent person, not a terrible one;

now, I think that this fandom on tumblr has ten problems with him because in order, the fact that he’s a man already puts him on a disadvantaged level but that’s common to most guys in this fandom like on tumblr in this fandom if a female character fucks up and a male character fucks up, the latter will be called out upon it way more than than the female character. also, abused male characters don’t get recognition for that 99% of the time. but that also means that his disability gets brushed off/ignored because since **according to tumblr standards** it’s not stopping him from doing most of what he’d like and no one takes it into account, his abuse gets brushed off/ignored because WELL HE’S NOT THE ONLY ONE, the fact that he’s a man means he has male privilege and whatever the fuck else and since he’s technically (in the book at least) Not Standard Attractive then he doesn’t even get the shitload of excuses hot people get in virtue of being hot;

also, there’s a certain attitude I really don’t like at all whatsoever to describe the fact that in his POVs he always goes about how much he hates his father/cersei or WHERE DO THE WHORES GO in adwd as whining/being unable to get over it/dying of self-pity but like.......... that’s..... how he copes with knowing he’s been treated like shit? like, thing is: in a literary genius foil with his brother who has no idea of the crap he was unjustly subjected to if not very subconsciously and whose coping method is *going away* and/or forgetting about things and/or not thinking about them, tyrion’s coping method is never letting himself forget it and honestly.... so he thinks shit about his father and sister all the time? tough luck, they’re his abusers, ofc he does. he can’t get over thinking no one will love him because of his looks? tough luck, he was told that all his life and when he found someone he thought did tywin organized that rouse so he’d think she was with him for money and he forced him to rape her which is also called rape by proxy so he’s also a rape victim and he was thirteen? wow, if I were him ie someone whose first advice to a main character in these books was ‘never forget about your weaknesses and make them your armor so people can’t hurt you with them’ then I also would be thinking about that all the time. he’s an abuse victim and he’s not away from his abusers until the end of asos, what are we expecting, that he’d get over it? actually it’s a way healthier method than jaime’s because at least he knows he’s been wronged all along and he can see both c. and his father for the assholes they are but at least he knows that and he harbors no illusions about them even if he still kind of wants them to love him same as most people would, but like... that’s not whining? that’s stuff that it’s absolutely normal he should be thinking? also, the where do the whores go thing in adwd is....... basically he just learned that his biggest trauma was not what he believed it was and he has to reconcile himself with the fact that a) tysha never not loved him, b) jaime was in on it even if he subconsciously knows that he also was a victim in that ploy (when he dreams about killing him in adwd he’s crying, sooooo) and he has to know because jaime told him out of *guilt* and he damn well knows it, like he’s re-elaborating the entire thing, obviously he’s fixated on it??? I mean the moment I figured out a specific thing that I hadn’t realized about an unhealthy relationship I had with someone I spent a month thinking about it every other moment for a month and it was nowhere near that same level of terrible, and I’m surprised that he thinks about that for all of adwd? like, I find those justifications very iffy and incredibly dismissive of a) his trauma b) his abuse victim status;

also there’s the whole HE KILLED TYWIN thing but..... I honestly am baffled it’s even a thing fandom thinks he should pay for or anything. like, the problem is that he killed *shae* in that context, and that was also out of feeling betrayed after just learning of how it really went with tysha, and that’s why he’s on the downward spiral/his lowest point in adwd, but.... tywin? really? like tywin is an asshole period, he abused him all his life, he traumatized the shit out of him for his entire life and made him grow up thinking he was unlovable and outright told him he wanted to drown him, and not even counting what tywin did to *him*, we’re talking about someone who went and calmly planned the red wedding the moment he realized there was no way he could take out robb without treachery and didn’t feel particularly bothered by it on a moral level, and we’re sad that he died or think that tyrion has to pay for it because he killed his abuser who also never really was a father to him in any sense of the word? like what the fuck does tyrion owe tywin? literally nothing and tbqh it’s tywin narratively reaping the seeds of what he’s sown if tyrion goes and offs him. like, a lot of people re fixed on this thing about OH HE KILLED HIS FATHER HE DOESN’T DESERVE REDEMPTION but the narrative doesn’t ask it of him. he has to make peace and find his own redemption for killing shae at that point, not tywin. tywin had it coming since the moment he showed up. like, saying he’s a horrible person for offing someone who only ever abused the shit out of him doesn’t really fly as far as I’m concerned;

at this point we get to ‘okay but in adwd he does a lot of questionable things’, but..... a) he’s supposed to be at his lowest narrative point and a lot of people have done a lot of questionable things at their lowest narrative point in these books, I mean if I think theon can have a nice life and get better after his WF stint I can think that tyrion can have a nice life and get better after his adwd stint, b) it’s nothing he’ll be proud of when he pulls his shit together (and he already had started by the end of adwd) but I mean... it’s nothing worse than most people who have to pull their shit together in these books have done lately, like honestly writing him off as a horrible person because of his adwd stint reaaaaally reeks to me of double standard which is based on the fact that no one around here wants to recognize that he’s an abuse victim and his reactions are valid and that yes his disability singles him out and is the reason people target him and not his merits or demerits. I mean he even spells it out, he’s been on trial for being a dwarf all his life/everyone already judged him for that regardless of his actual faults, and that’s not him being delusional, it’s the truth. he’s a person who certainly has faults same as anyone else but guess what a lot of people around fandom do what tywin does and exacerbate them if you ask my opinion;

(that also can be seen when it comes to what people think of the guy being shipped around because believe me I wish I hadn’t seen people saying he couldn’t be a good option for sansa because he’s not the beautiful gallant stainless dude she deserves, and I’m saying it as a sansan shipper first but come the fuck on) (other than that tyrion/bronn is ofc the superior ship but nvm me)

also there’s the whole thing where people decided that since tyrion is a general fandom fave in between the w.org/reddit crowd/general audience then obviously if the dudebros (ugh i can’t with that generalization anymore sure af freefolk is less puritan than tumblr from what I see) like him then he has to also incarnate the Worst Type Of Male Fan Of Asoiaf In Existence and like........ now, I don’t doubt that when it comes to the *general audience* there’s a lot of misconceptions going around plus a lot of his character faults get ignored (I mean when I went on w.org the first time the first thread I ran into was like ‘wow sansa is a bitch for not kneeling at once when they married and making him feel like shit’ I mean that’s a situation where you should feel bad for both but calling her a bitch for not wanting to kneel while marrying a guy she was forced to who also belonged to the family that killed her brother and mother and her father too is like......... come on seriously?) but that’s the same with most fandom faves in any fandom, it doesn’t mean that if some of his fans see him with rose-tinted glasses then on this side of the pond we have to decide he sucks when he doesn’t, and as I said time and time again..... do we remember the last time that in any fandom the general audience favorite character who sells the merchandise more than anyone else is a disabled abuse victim who doesn’t shut up about it and tries to be better than anyone else thinks them able to? because I don’t and while tyrion is not top five asoiaf for me I’m very glad that *he* is the general audience favorite. so they don’t get the point or see him with rose-tinted glasses? happens to fandom faves in general, but it doesn’t mean that he’s a terrible person in the text just because the dudebro crowd (if we wanna call it like that but meh) likes him. so what, he is the audience fave? good, I’m beyond fine with him being the audience fave. I honestly don’t think it’s an argument that should even be brought up because ‘that character’s fans are shit so the character is automatically shit because we judged the fans on their supposed gender’ is not an argument. *shrug*

tldr: I think people on here exaggerate his flaws (that everyone has) and are bitchy about the fact that he is the general audience favorite because how dare a guy who’s as far as we know cishet (which is already bad for tumblr standards), not standard hot (crime!!), has a disability (which gets ignored 90% of the time when discussing his privilege or lack thereof), is an abuse victim who won’t let you forget it and you can’t deny/headcanon differently (which is a thing tumblr can’t accept - I mean, men being abuse victims, and with hc differently I mean that people outright deny that idk jaime was one because he doesn’t realize he was so you have to actually read into the text to realize it, but they can decide he’s not because it requires effort to put it together - or deny sandor was one because we don’t have his pov and we only see his destructive coping methods and so on - with tyrion they can’t because he never lets you forget he was and admitting it is apparently hard, also one of his abusers is a woman and We Do Not Admit That Women Can Be Abusers On Tumblr Dot Com) and who has fucked up but not worse than most people in these books be the audience favorite? WE JUST DON’T KNOW. personally I think he’s pretty damn great and an amazingly conceived/written character (I mean in a series where all the characters weren’t so well-rounded and I didn’t have other people I latched on before that he’d have totally been top three material for me he just got unlucky to be in the one series where everyone is well-rounded and there’s people that I resonate personally more with but really he’s an amazing character all around) and I can’t wait for him to pull his shit together in the next book and possibly get the nice ending he deserves along with better dialogue than d&d gave him, but from there to say he’s a horrible person.... geez. my list of horrible persons in these books runs very long and he’s nowhere near it. ofc he has faults but no character in these books is faultless except maybe gilly, and not even people under the age of twelve are faultless in these books come on. 

[meggannn]

for that hawke companions thing: fenris and bethany!

WHOOP WHOOP sorry this is late, but as you know, fenris and bethany love is My Thing, so i wanted to be properly prepared

Fenris

Did your Hawke also hate Tevinter, like Fenris? Were they influenced by him?she didn’t hate Tevinter mostly because she never thought of it. her only knowledge of Tevinter really comes from some old knowledge maybe Malcolm mentioned when she was little, and then whatever Fenris tells her, which is obviously pretty bleak.

If his personal quest was received, did your Hawke allow him to kill his sister? Why or why not?yknow I let him kill Varania the first time, then every subsequent time after, it just…. didn’t feel right, so I always convince him to spare her now. she, like, totally and unequivocally understands why he wants to – I mean, his own family betrayed him to the man who enslaved and brutalized him for years – and she gets why Fenris feels threatened/vulnerable with Varania still out there, like maybe he believes she’d find a way to manipulate or trick him again. in the moment, Fenris is so angry and hurt, and Varania is so at a loss for where to go next after losing Danarius and desperate to make her brother pay for what she went through, that I don’t think they’re in the right place to be swayed with “don’t kill her, she’s your family!” (‘cause we all know by now that family can be shit, and tbh that always seemed almost a bit unwittingly cruel to say, since yeah… she was his family, and his family just betrayed him.) so Hawke tries to convince Fenris to let her go, bc she sees Varania as a victim too, but… also it’s his life that she threatened, so it’s his choice, but she’s relieved when he tells her to just get out.

How did your Hawke’s final decision between the mages or the templars affect their relationship with Fenris? Were they forced to kill him?well you know I always side mages haha, and Fenris always has enough approval by endgame that he joins Hawke, but the first time I played he didn’t, so I was terrified I’d have to kill him until I met up with him again and managed to convince him to join me. but anyway in my canon, yeah, I don’t think it came as a surprise to Fenris when she decided to support the mages, so he wasn’t like, vocally disappointed, and he understood why, but in his head he was kind of gathering up all these I-told-you-so’s: I told you not to trust the abomination, I told you supporting mages so openly would be trouble, I told you one day you’d get in over your head – but after the battle he doesn’t say any of it ‘cause he realizes she knows it already and that saying any of it would just rub salt in the wound. so there’s like a sort of mutual understanding on both ends that this all happened to them because of her role in the city, and it affected him because they are who they are together. and there’s definitely some guilt on her part for dragging him into it and indirectly having him flee Kirkwall with her, but after some thinking, I don’t think Fenris is the type to blame her for that.

How did your Hawke respond to the mutual resentment between Fenris and Anders? Did they intervene?act 1: there was definitely some shared shared looks with Varric at first, let’s-just-ignore-it looks, then when they kept snapping at each other, she started to hang out with them separately. also, she didn’t hang out with Fenris a lot in her first few years in Kirkwall just because she didn’t like that he called her sister a snake, and she didn’t want to expose Beth to any prejudice that made her feel MORE guilty for her magic. so her rls with Fenris is cordial, but not super close; she spends more time with Anders just out of association with the expedition and because he’s nice and they happen to see each other a bit more.act 2: after spending some time with Fenris privately I think Hawke further appreciates that his mistrust comes out of completely justified fear of power in the wrong hands, and being traumatized at the hands of mages absolutely affects how he’d interact with them. after losing her sister to the Circle, Fenris does kind of ease up out of sympathy, ‘cause while he supported the Circle, he didn’t want her to lose her family (being sensitive abt family in general is definitely a thing in their rls), and he did genuinely like Beth. Hawke still does find herself siding more with mages as things get heated up in Kirkwall, and Fenris kind of… tolerates it, and is civil in the party, but he and Anders mostly try to keep their distance.act 3: ofc when things start heating up, Fenris kinda fears that Hawke’s gonna go full-on mage rights activist like Anders, and while she does support them now more than ever (having been convinced over the past few years), it seems like she’s mostly just worried Anders isn’t in a good place right now, so he doesn’t start any fights with her. he definitely speaks his mind when he has something to say, but Fenris at this point knows Anders won’t back down; though he does see him as like, a man about to hit his breaking point, whereas Fenris trying to recover and find out who he is, so tbh he mostly just tries to ignore him. when he can’t, though, I think he and Anders can be civil enough to talk about their politics in the group, but it usually doesn’t convince either of them and someone gets irritable and it never goes anywhere, so Fenris realizes it’s not worth it. Hawke in these moments never really plays mediator, like, they are both are adults and their discussions never really get nasty. also I think by this point she’s too tired of hearing fights about it and knows too much about both of them too much to think they might ever see things the other’s way.

What motivated your Hawke to be either a friend or a rival to Fenris? Were they indifferent to him?I may’ve talked about this before but anyway act 1, Hawke responded to Fenris politely enough as you do to a mercenary you meet in Lowtown one night, took him on occasional quests and invited him to the HM and blah blah ‘cause he was funny and had a good poker face and fought well with Varric and Isabela, but again she was worried about a clash between him and Beth, and then later Merrill and Anders. so she mostly brought him as necessary for the first few months of act 1 and tried to limit his interaction w Beth. funnily enough when he did meet up with Beth again he was much politer and got on a lot better, and Beth seemed to like him too (Fenris by this point having realized that he’d offended Hawke’s sister on the first night, who Hawke had worked her entire life to protect, and wanted to make up for it). after Beth is taken, he’s genuinely sympathetic, and they’ve spent some time together one-on-one so Hawke knows his abrasiveness isn’t all that he is, and all that eventually kind of snowballs into their romance near the end of act 2.

Bethany

Did Bethany become a Grey Warden or die of the Taint or was she taken to the Circle? How did your Hawke react to what became of her?Circle. I was all set to bring Beth to the Deep Roads with me before Leandra made her plea to let her stay behind, and I think Hawke was swayed by that. she wanted Beth at her side ‘cause they’d been partners in crime for years in the city by now, but Carver’s death was still fresh and she knew her mom was really protective of her youngest kid, so it made sense for only one to go. Beth was hurt by it, but she understood. when Hawke comes back to hear she’s been taken to the Gallows, she’s like……. numb. I think she was waiting for something else to go wrong; Bartrand’s betrayal, hiking through the Deep Roads for weeks on end for an exit, fighting ancient rock wraiths just to survive, hiking through the wilderness BACK to Kirkwall with all their loot, and then she loses Beth to the one place she can’t rescue her. (like, things were shit before living with Gamlen and losing Malcolm and Carver and fleeing the Blight and searching for coin everywhere, but then when she FINALLY gets money, she loses her sister? this is the beginning of Hawke’s realizing 🎶 My Liife is a Fuuuucking Niiightmaaaare 🎶)

How did Leandra and/or Carver’s death affect your Hawke’s relationship with Bethany?Carver and Hawke were close in the way that he looked up to her, as another non-mage in the family, and they sparred together and she followed him to the military, but he and Beth had that twin bond Hawke couldn’t replace, you know? I think Beth was more shaken up by it than she let on, but Hawke definitely noticed, and she kind of simultaneously shoved her mourning aside but also dealt with it, in a way, by helping Beth cope with hers.

Due to Bethany being a mage, was your Hawke influenced by her when making the choice between mages and templars?by this point she’d seen so much shit going on in Kirkwall that she was far convinced that standing up for the mages would be the right thing, even without Beth standing right there. Beth was absolutely a factor in helping her grow up with that kind of mage-glasses thinking tho. like she grew up with questions like ‘Is this a safe thing to do? will this expose us? how many chantries are in this area? what are the templars’ regular patrols?’ and then when she was in her teenager years Hawke realized, ‘well, I’m living with it by association, but Beth actually lives it. we could split up, and I could stop, but Beth would still have to live with it for the rest of her life.’ so going into Kirkwall she also sees Beth’s safety as her protection, and after she kind of ‘fails’ that, she starts to see all the other ways the system fails mages, and it snowballs.

How close were your Hawke and Bethany before they fled to Kirkwall? Did they grow closer or drift farther apart once they were settled in Kirkwall?Beth and Carver both looked up to her but in different ways and at different capacities, really just because she was the oldest. when she wasn’t taking care of the kids or helping Leandra with house/farmwork, Hawke spent a lot of time on her own or with Malcolm, so Beth knew of her sister as a protector for most of her life. when Hawke was a teenager I think they got a little closer, but then after Carver’s death, they relied on each other for emotional and moral support a lot after moving to Kirkwall. then they became kind of partners in crime working for Anita, and formed their own little squad with Varric; that was like the prime of their relationship, and it kind of stings Hawke that they were happiest together only when things were so miserable in every other aspect of their lives.

Did your Hawke stay in contact with Bethany after the mage-templar decision in Kirkwall?after fear for Beth’s safety, no, not for a while. I haven’t thought about post-Inquisition. for a long time I imagine Hawke needs to run from the Chantry, then run from the Seekers, then the Inquisition, then deal with what’s going on with the Wardens with the Inquisition, and then Weisshaupt, and who knows how long that takes. she’s still on the run from several people that want her dead, whereas Bethany was never the traveling sort if she could help it. I think Beth might settle back in Kirkwall with Aveline and Varric if the Templar situation improved post-Tresspasser, or go somewhere else in the Marches with Merrill helping other mages. they share letters through Aveline and Varric whenever they can risk it.

dragon age 2 companion meme

[tellerford13]

MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 35

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. We will be posting on our Tumblr where we’ll have fun pictures from time to time as well. http://tellerford13.tumblr.com We’ll also be taking requests for one shots, preferences or imagines for all things Sons at our other Tumblr, so check it out and send your thoughts!http://tellerford13oneshots.tumblr.com/ And just for fun, we’ve decided to start a Pinterest for the story! So if you want a glimpse at our girls and see into our world, check it out! https://www.pinterest.com/tellerford/

                                                         A/N: Hey loves, I’m doing something a bit different. I didn’t want to leave everyone hanging on Jax’s thoughts, but it’s definitely time for Daddy to get some on one with his Mo’ Astor, so I’m letting the “Prince” have a wee bit of screen time before Filip comes in. Thanks to all our readers and reviewers. *points. Your feedback is everything.

For all of y’all who’ve been asking: Teller is keeping her nose to the grindstone working on her next degree and doing the teaching thing, and Telford is doing the same old writing and fam.

                                        Mo Astor Chapter 35

Jax

I peer down at the woman sleeping on my chest. This is more than I ever thought I’d have. After having my heart ripped out when I was young, I never let anyone in enough to get here. But Lee was already there.  I kiss her crown and inhale the citrus scent of her hair. Everything about her soothes me. I like the smell of my woman, a combination of the two of us together permeates the air, convincing me I’m not just dreaming. I thought about this moment a million times over the past few months. Keeping my mouth shut was pure torture, but I trusted Baby J’s incite. I’ve fucked up too many good things and held on too long to the bad in the past to tempt fate.

I pull her closer to me, kissing her crown before I close my eyes. Maybe I can make this all come together. Wendy and I are forming a new, healthier relationship. She’s backed off, and though she hasn’t said it, I think there’s another man in her life. Not that I’m complaining. She deserves her own happiness. We can wait till the kid is here to play meet the person who’ll be in our lives. Whatever helps her get to the hospital in once piece is all I’m worried about right now.

A boy. A little me. I’ll never forget the way the sex reveal changed my life. Seeing him on that tiny monitor, and hearing his heart beat made everything real. It became him, and the concept became a reality. I knew I had to do right by him. For all the people I’ve lost. My father who taught me how to be a man, Thomas, who never got to live up to his full potential. My boy is my opportunity to continue the Teller legacy. Damn sure I’m going to make my family proud. Not that my mother would let me do otherwise.

So much has happened in the past few months it’s hard to remember the way things used to be. I’m never going back. Slow and steady is the way to Lee’s heart. After all the abandonment from her father, she has to feel secure before she makes major moves. I can be patient. I’ve learned it’s true. The things worth having are worth waiting for and working toward.

Maybe it’s a good thing. With anyone else, we’d be having blowouts by now. Wendy always wanted more from me than I was willing to give, and my high school sweetheart wanted me to be someone I wasn’t. I can see that now. At the time it was too much. I’d lost Thomas, then my Father, and she came in like this ray of light ready to make everything better.

I know now what I felt was an obsession. When I focused on her, everything else moved to the background. I didn’t have to think about how much I missed my dad or the hole he left in my life. I could try to fill that emptiness with the pretty brunette who clung to me just as desperately after the death of her mother set her father to drinking.

We were two lost kids using each other as a crutch. It never would’ve worked long turn. Not when all she wanted to do was leave, and I spent my entire life waiting to Prospect. She had me fooled for a time, taking my tattoo, and saying the only thing that mattered was us being together. That changed real quick when the guidance counselor told her she needed to get her grades back up or risk forfeiting any scholarship possibilities.

I don’t have it in me to be bitter any longer. I’m letting go of my ghosts. There’s no room for that when I’m moving forward to a better future with Harley. It’s time for me to get my shit together, I’m going to be a Dad, and my son deserves the same experience I had.

***

Chibs

The only thing I want to do is head home, but I know the minute I come through that door I’ll be on Mo Astor, and she deserved a clean old man. I’m in a haze as I rush into the clubhouse to my room.

“So I’m guessing I should stay the night here unless I want to be traumatized?” Juice calls.

“Might be a good idea, yah.”

I ignore the laughter that springs up. I could give a shite less what the boys think about me and my wife. I had my fill of too much booze, easy pussy, and cold beds. It takes more than a willing body to chase away loneliness. No one here knows my story other than Gemma and Journee. There was no letting go, or relief from the guilt, worry, and pain the past caused me every day. You don’t forget that you have a child out there just out of your reach, or that your wife betrayed you.

I thought I’d always love Fi. That she was my one shot at happiness, gone. Now I know she was a place holder. The thing fate put in my life to keep me alone long enough to let Journee mature. There’s nothing that can keep me from her now.

“Got a hot date, with Wifey?”

I pause in the doorway and grin. Tig already has a girl in each arm, the sly bastard.

“Aye.”

“Do her right for me.” He winks.

“I plan ta brother.” I unlock the door and strip down on my way to the bathroom. I take a prison shower scrubbing down in record time and scurrying out. I put on the dark denim she bought me along with a black t-shirt with a Celtic cross design. I know what Journee likes to see on me. I cross the room and slow as I pass the mirror. With my hair growing out and my usual scowl gone, I’m looking like the old me. The one who existed before Jimmy came in and crushed my dreams and nearly took my life. Insane that the silent girl who kept me healing and patched up has become my entire world.

I remember her back then, soft-spoken with a knack for healing, and reading people. She was one of the few I could stomach to have near me. I fly out of the club swearing my feet never even touch the ground.

***

I open the front door and chuckle at the dim lighting.

“Journee,” I call as I step inside, close the door and re-engage the alarm. Safety first, always, when it comes to my woman. I walk down the short hallway and growl when I spot her beside the table. She’s made a heart with tea candles, and in the center, she’s got two glasses of whiskey.

“Welcome home, Daddy.”

The tiny black lace panties, and the harness style bra that barely covers her breasts with the embroidered Rose pattern that twines its way up the straps has my jaw dropping and my prick rock hard. The floor-length black robe that frames her body has me thinking of silken restraints.

“You miss me, little lass?”

She pouts. “So much Daddy.”

“Come here and show me how much.”

Her full lips part as she grins and glides over to me like a siren about to bring me to my knees. She grabs a glass from the table and offers it to me. I toss it back as she runs her hands up my chest to my shoulders and begins to knead.

“I want to make my Daddy relax.”

“Lass, the last thing on my mind is relaxing.”

She giggles. I cherish the sound. I drink in the sight of her. The loose curls that tumble around her face and shoulders are too tempting. I wind a coarse spiral around my finger, and she smiles. We converse with our eyes. Neither of us feels whole without the other. Those long trips on the road aren’t as easy as they used to be.

“Come ‘er.” She steps forward, and I lean down and capture her lips. The whiskey blends with her unique flavor becoming my favorite taste. Our tongues tangle. She presses her lower body to mine, and I wrap my arm around her pulling her even closer as I tilt my head. She moans. I reach out to set the glass on the table and grab a handful of her firm ass.

We pull apart breathing heavily.

“Daddy will take it nice and slow the second time. Right now I need to fuck ye.”

“Yes, Daddy,” She gasps. I lift her up, and she winds her limbs around me as I attack her mouth, nipping at her swollen bottom lip as I massage her cheeks. I toss her onto our bed. I shed my clothes and follow her down, climbing between the legs she’s spread wide for me. I slip my hand in her panties, feeling her slick center, and she returns the favor, stroking my prick through my boxers.

I grunt as I prepare her for me. She’s still new to this, and I’ve been gone a few weeks. My biggest fear is hurting her. She lifts off the bed.

“Daddy, please.”

“You ready for me, mo astor?”

“Fuck, yes.”

The swear inflames me. I yank her panties down and remove my boxers. Lined up to her glistening lips I pause to meet her gaze before I slip inside her heat. We both cry out as I fill her.

“Ah, you feel so good wrapped around me, love.”

“Only, you, Daddy.”

“Damn straight, lass. This is my Kitty.” I pull out and push back in, shuddering as she flexes around me. “Always tempting me.” I balance myself on my forearms as we find a rhythm. “Wrap your legs around me and hold on, tight.”

I pound into her the way I’ve been dreaming of doing on the road. She arches, scratching my back as she writhes beneath me. She likes it a little rough, and I always aim to give her what she needs. I’ll never push her too far too fast. It’s a careful balance that makes me want to blow my load inside her. The feel of her pussy and the unwavering trust has me high. Sweat coats are bodies and she jerks as her walls constrict around me.

“Come for me.”

She digs her sharp little teeth into my shoulder as she comes and I let go pumping her full of me. The small act of possession has me spraying like a fire hose. I’m still hard when the stream ends.

“Oh, Daddy.” “Told you, I missed you, lass,” I whisper as I rock back inside her, slowly circling my hips.

“Show me how much,” she purrs, giving me back my own words.

I chuckle. “Aye, I will.”  I nibble my way down her neck as I slowly build her back up and re-explore her body. She’s so fucking lush. I want to eat her alive.

She gasps. “Oh, Daddy, can I come?”

“As much as you like tonight, love. No holding back.”

Her scream fills the room as I continue to thrust through her orgasm. I’m nowhere done with her.

Sated, we’re sitting in the bed with a package of short bread between us and tea. This is the part I like every bit as much as I do the loving.

“I missed you, Filip?”

“I missed you too, Journee. How’d you get along here?”

“Good. I’ve been busy at the shop, and Lee and I spent most our free time together. Gemma kept pulling us in on town projects.” She rolls her eyes.

I laugh. “Sounds like yer, Ma.”  I lean in, and she kisses me.

“What was that for?”

“Because I can, and I spent too long wanting to when I shouldn’t have.”

Her cheeks fill with blood. “Me too.”

“It all worked out in the end. That’s all that really matters, eh?”

“I agree, love.”

[nanunyah]

I'm a big believer in the quote, "if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second." So when I see j0nsa shippers claim that Jon may like Daenerys, but he loves Sansa more, I can't help but laugh a little because the quote perfectly fits. Jon would never begin to harbor fillings for another if his heart truly belonged to another and Jon of all people wouldn't sleep with someone he doesnt care for.

My sweet heart, I loved your quote!!! (Took note), but you’re using it wrong and I’m going to explain why!❤

So, we got this character jon snow, that still don’t know that he is a targaryen. And you know how the stark of house is: loyals, honorables, good family members, family is everything, etc.

You saw that people couldn’t believe that Ned could betray Carellyn with a whore and bring a bastard with him, every one was socked, because this is not what would a honorable Ned Stark do. To make my point, Honor was precisely what made cut his head out.

Back to Jon Snow, we all now that Ned was everything for jon, jon admired a lot his father, had pride on him, wanted to be like him, and all his half brothers, were like were is full brothers.

So jon, even if he was a bastard, he was part of the family, every stark treat him like a stark member.

So you think, an honorable Jon Snow, that respects family above everything, had the educacion of a good father family, that he would ever see one of her sisters like lovers partners??? That’s no jon snow. Jon snow wasn’t raised with the lannisters.

So he do love sansa!! But like a sister!!! Stark family would never acept incest between siblings on their family, they had good manners.

So when jon see finally sansa after all the stark crazyness, ofc he go full of joy, hug her, and he is happy to see her. He is his little sister!!! And he is so happy she’s not dead after all it happened.

Remember, to show my point that Jon is an honorable family member, he rather stay virgin than end up having a child with a father with no title, no marriage, no honorable. He rather get virgin, than having a child pass what he passed, the chame of being a bastard.

But Dany? He only Like her????? Thats bullshit.

He did start with a crush that he didn’t give much importance (there is no time for this), to starting really admiring that queen that fight for his people, admiration and crushing hard, but Night King waiting, to pass the final fase, which Dany rescue herself with her 3 child’s to save him.

BOOOM!! He just fell in love for real. That was the moment he went from crush to love. She is the one.

When he said she was his queen and she give back her hand, and when she tried to pull back her hand and he didn’t let: it wasn’t to have sex with her, because a jon snow was not thinking about it in a moment that his queen was grieving for her child, but it was to her understand that he love her, he really admires and likes her, and he is totally there for her. He blocked her hand and made puppies love eyes to her.

Not even for ygritte he did that, and he did love her, but he choose duty.

So that was the first time I saw the jon snow show feelings, and even, be selfish and trying do something good for him, which is, to experience love. Because he tried to ignore his feelings towards her, he tried. But with all that happened, Fook it.

That’s why your quote it’s wrong!! He never loved Sansa that way, on the first place!

And if you think, sansa is kinda traumatized with love? Loved Joffrey, sociopath, married to an dwarf, married to a rapist. Do you think she needs to had to the list an incest love between siblings? Come on. Sansa now just think about ruling, and strategys. She don’t even dream about love.