#he was a guy the other marauders would have died for

[astralee]

marauders x reader

your friends are jealous you’ve decided to make other friends

“well, well, well.” sirius spoke with mock surprise as you walked through the portrait hole. “look who’s finally decided to join us.”

you rolled your eyes at his dramatic performance and dropped yourself down onto the couch next to peter. “you’re acting like i’ve been missing all week.”

“you have.” sirius was quick to retort. “right prongs?” james was even quicker to agree and so sirius turned to remus next who only shrugged.

“i’ve been around. i see you everyday. right pete?” you quipped back nudging the boy next to you.

peter shrunk further into the couch under the hard stares of sirius and james. “i guess.” he muttered just loud enough for you all to hear. “can you guys stop looking at me like that!”

“you’re supposed to be on our side!” sirius pointed at him in betrayal. “you can’t just agree with her when she’s trying to replace us.”

you barked a laugh and the four boys were quick to turn to you. “it’s not funny.” james huffed. “does our friendship mean nothing to you?”

your laughing had died down when you realised they were deadly serious about this. you go make a few friends of your own and all of sudden they think you’re replacing them. “you can’t be serious.”

“we are serious.”

“even you moony?”

remus shrugged again and then decided to open his mouth for the first time during the whole conversation. “i would hope not.”

“and that’d be right.” you spoke incredulously. “i’d be terribly sad if i didn’t have you annoying gits as my best friends.”

they seemingly perked up as you expressed your friendship with them and soon enough sirius was pretending to wipe his imaginary tears. “i love you guys.” he declared. “we should all get married and stay together forever.”

pin drop silence.

“ah. well y’see that’s just a bit too far.”

“what the fuck y/n.”

[alwaysanundertone]

Why Try | poly! marauders x fem! reader

tag list: @staarflowerr @lonely-nerd-sodaholic @hcqwxrtss123 @call-me-mishi @sxmnc

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

You were late, as always. This time, though, the reason behind it made you smile like a fool: last night you stayed up late with the guys, laughing and cuddling each other.

So, now you were rushing through the halls, barely making it in time for your Transfiguration class. You rushed to the door, which was already close, and opened it abruptly

“Mrs. L/N, you’re late.” McGonagall stared you down. “And I won’t comment on that strange looking mark on your neck. Take a seat”

Everybody looked at you, snickering, while Sirius blowed you a kiss, indicating the vacant seat next to you.

“Why is everybody laughing? And what strange mark was she referring to?”

“Love, didn’t you look in the mirror this morning?” You shook your head. “Let’s say that now everybody knows you’re ours”

You widened your eyes, pulling out of your bag a little mirror: the three hickeys adorned your neck.

“This is a mess, you know that? What would everybody think? And-“ He put a finger in your lips.

You played with the hem of the Gryffindor jersey, a little smile playing on your cheeks. James and Sirius had a quidditch match against Ravenclaw in about forty minutes, you were waiting for Remus to pick you up to go watch it together.

Hearing three knocks on your dorm room, you ran to open: there stood Remus, a bouquet of tulips in one hand.

“Love, you look amazing in our colours” You smiled up at him. “May I have a kiss?”

Your heart fluttered, somehow him asking for consent made you even more hot and bothered. Not giving him a verbal response, you just got on your tippy toes and kissed him softly, while his free arm wrapped around your waist.

“You don’t even know how happy it makes me that I can just kiss you whenever I want” He showered you in sweet kisses all over your face, making you giggle. “My sweet, sweet girl”

At this point, your ears were burning and you were pretty sure that if he kept kissing you, you would have miss the match. “Okay loverboy, we should really get going”

He laughed, patting your bum, heading with you to the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw game. Technically you should have cheered for your house, but you didn’t have that many friends on the Ravenclaw team, and you just wanted to make your boyfriends feel appreciated.

Once on the Quidditch pitch, Remus brought you to the Gryffindor’s lockers.

“James! Sirius! Look I have a surprise!”

You heard what sounded like someone being slammed on the lockers, then they came into view.

Sirius stared at you, a grin slowly making his way on his face. “Look what we have here, wearing our colours”

You nodded. “This is technically James’ jersey, but I wrote your name under his name, so I’m technically cheering for the both of you”

James picked you up, spinning you around, while you giggled furiously. “Our girl, always so considerate. We love you, you know that, right?”

Sirius picked you from James’ arms, kissing you softly on your lips, making you melt, while Remus was watching the scene unfold from behind you, a grin plastered on his face.

“We have to go now” Sirius pecked your lips. “After the game we’ll shower and then we’ll go on a date together”

“And if I don’t want to?”

James smirked. “You’ll still be there, either if you want to or not. You’re stuck with us love, that’s a shame isn’t it?”

“Not really” You mumbled, suppressing a smile, and they cooed at you. Once the players kissed you, they took off for the pitch, while you went back to your seats with Remus.

Gryffindor won, and you couldn’t have been more happy. As you rushed down the bleachers, your excitement died down, seeing Aurora dangerously close to James, her hand on his pec.

“… We could share a drink, you know? We’d have such a great time together” Your first instinct was to run, but you refrained: you had learned your lesson, plus now you were in officially dating, everyone knew about this, you had every right to lash out.

Swallowing down your nervousness, you came behind up behind her, tapping her shoulder, James smirked at you. “Excuse me, are you asking out my boyfriend?” They both widened your eyes, Remus smiling proudly at you and fist bumping James.

“What… He’s not-“

James hugged you from behind, his head nestling in your shoulder juncture. “I am, thank you very much. Claimed and everything, so I’d take a step back if I were you. Plus, I wanted to tell you that I actually don’t give a shit about her brother being a shit to her, I pity him, not understanding how lucky he is to have such an incredible sister. Now, I would really like for you to go away, so I can spend time with my girlfriend, thank you very much”. He turned you around, ignoring your protests, making out with you right in front of her.

You tried to keep up with him, but you couldn’t help but feel guilty about the white lie you told them. Once you stopped kissing, Remus and Sirius were by your side, too. You were about to start talking, but they preceded you. “Love, she talked a lot of shit about you, but if you didn’t want to tell us about your brother we understand. The only thing is, why did you want to keep our relationship a secret, then?” Sirius was looking kind of hurt, and your heart wept.

“It’s not you I’m ashamed of, I can assure you. I was ashamed of myself, as I told you I didn’t understand how could you choose me, of all the pretty girls there are here at Hogwarts, I didn’t want to be made fun of, you know?”

Remus hugged you tighly as you were about to start crying. “Sht, love, we understand, don’t go wasting your tears on this, please. Everything’s alright, we’re not mad, we’re glad you talked to us about it.”

As you allowed them to cuddle you, you smiled: being honest wasn’t that bad, after all.

this is rushed and not proofread, but I had to finish this serie and so that's it <3 hope you enjoyed it, sending you lots of kisses

[friendly-neighborhood-boricua]

[4] Liam and James Make You A Birthday Gift

Summary: Inspired by his birthday party at school, Liam goes to James for help with your birthday present.

Notes: Marauders modern elementary school AU, kindergarten teacher!James Potter x nurse!reader, mom!reader x son!OC (Liam). Sorta weirdly angsty? Idk how that happened. Vague mention of parental death, grieving.

A/N (27/6/24): Guys just don't believe me when I say I'll update regularly lmao it's never gonna happen. Tried to upload this last night but I literally fell asleep lmao so this is semi edited

Previous Part: Career Fair Next Part: James Takes Liam to School Series Masterlist here

Look.

We all know that James is the best kindergarten teacher at his school.

His students’ test scores always improve through the year

Their standardized test results are exactly where they should be for the grade level, if not higher

And the kids themselves love him

But in order to keep his kids happy and engaged and eager to learn, he sometimes has to … shall we say bend the rules …

Just a teensy weensy bit

A little bit

A tiiiiiiny bit

At the beginning of the year, James told the class that if they were well-behaved by the time that each of their birthdays came around, he would throw a small birthday party for each of them

And let me tell you

The kids were thrilled

James quickly set a few ground rules for the kids (because the admin at his school is stupid and ScHOoL pArTiEs cAnT bE hELd wiThOUt adMiNiStrATivE pErMiSSiOn so he had to be kinda careful)

NUMBER ONE (more for him than them)

James checked each of his students’ allergy records in the school database to figure out what treats he could bring to school 

You know, without sending anyone into anaphylactic shock and probably getting sued in the process

and NUMBER TWO

Everyone must thank Mr. Black at the front desk on the day of each party

(Sirius would help James smuggle treats into his room for these parties, so James figured it’d be nice to have them say thank you)

Honestly, James enjoyed these parties just as much as the kids

Even the planning part was fun for him

About a week before a kid’s birthday, he’d ask them what treat they wanted for their party

Some kids *cough* draco *cough* want a bunch of super-sugary Halloween-type candy

(James gets them reduced sugar and sugar-free knock-off brands for Draco's birthday because he doesn’t think he can handle nineteen sugar-high kids all at once)

Others want to have a pizza party or order from a nearby restaurant

Sweet little Dean just wanted Fig Newtons lmaooo

(James bought an extra pack for her to take home)

But each and every time, no matter what they want, James makes it happen

Liam’s birthday is on January 2nd, which is over winter break

Which is a shame because James was really excited to celebrate it on the day of

Usually with kids who have birthdays in the summer, he celebrates their half-birthday

But that won’t work for Liam obviously bc his half-birthday is in the summer

So James just decides to celebrate Liam’s birthday when they get back from winter break

Before winter break, however, James asks Liam what treat he wants for his party

And Liam

Sweet summer child

Liam says he’d really like some home-made oatmeal raisin cookies

Like

What.

What the fuck kind of answer is that??

For a sIX YEAR OLD

WHAT.

This fucking child is somehow like ninety years old and six at the same fucking time

James’ utter bafflement must have been visible on his face because Liam explains himself pretty quick

And James’ heart breaks when Liam tells him that his grandma died when he was really young but his mom tells him all the time that her mom’s oatmeal raisin cookies were the best thing ever

Apparently every time you try to recreate them for Liam, some disaster happens and you’re unable to finish 

(i.e. you’re called into work and have to take the cookies out of the oven half-baked so the house doesn’t burn down, you and Liam take a nap while the cookies are baking and almost actually burn the house down, Liam accidentally gave you the salt rather than the sugar, etc.)

And Liam just really wants to try good oatmeal raisin cookies

He’s had them from a box from the grocery store before, and they’re not bad (it kinda surprises James that he liked them at all, but then he remembers who exactly he’s talking to lol), but Liam wants to try some good home-made oatmeal raisin cookies

And maybe bring one home for his mom

And FURTHERMORE, Liam is plenty aware that no child in a million years besides him actually enjoys oatmeal raisin cookies

So he asks for chocolate chip for the rest of the class so they get something they’ll actually enjoy

James is just kinda speechless at first

Like you can hear him just blinking down at this sweet, kind, selfless little six-year-old

And slowly he nods, and the bell rings to signify the end of the day (and semester since it’s the last day of school before winter break)

Poor James is practically catatonic as he gets his kids on their busses and in cars home, then packs his own things and finally makes his way to the library to get Remus and Sirius

And they both know something’s up immediately

After some gentle prodding (and Sirius outright refusing to leave the school library until James tells them what was wrong), James tells them what happened

(Remus and Sirius aren’t quite sure what the big deal is until James explains further)

James’ parents died during his second year at university, and he was horribly torn up about it for years after

Still is, sometimes

He was always terribly close with his parents, and they would always do anything—anything—for their James

(Including practically adopt Sirius during high school)

And now, thinking about Liam’s grandmother dying when he was young, all James could think about was you

James couldn’t imagine you’re any older than him, and he’s twenty-four, which means you had Liam young

And if Liam’s grandmother—your mother—had died when Liam was young, that meant you were left to take care of a baby all on your own at—what, twenty years old? Nineteen? All while going to university to become a nurse, and then actually becoming a nurse after that, long shifts and heavy workloads and all

The thought made James’ heart ache terribly in his chest

That night, James spends nearly two hours searching for different oatmeal raisin cookie recipes

He plans to do trials 

A competition of sorts with Sirius and Remus serving as judges

Because James is DETERMINED to bake the best homemade oatmeal raisin cookie Liam will ever have

(He’s sort of nervous for you to eat one, but he figures even if it isn’t as good as your mother’s, it hopefully won’t be awful)

James, Sirius, and Remus’ holiday celebrations only really extend to sleeping over on Christmas Eve at Remus’ mother’s house, which is only a couple blocks away

So James spends every day of winter break baking a new cookie recipe and shoving cookies down Remus’ and Sirius’ throats

But by the beginning of second semester, James has crafted the perfect oatmeal raisin cookie recipe

(It was rather simple, actually, and the “secret ingredient” was more of a secret process than anything; James used only brown sugar rather than a mix of brown and granulated, added some cinnamon, and put the balls of dough in the freezer for twenty minutes before baking so they would be nice and chewy)

James decides to hold Liam’s party at the end of the first week back at school

(Just to make sure the kids know they’ve got to go back to learning)

And Liam’s party goes swimmingly!! (ofc)

James brought chocolate chips, as promised

But he was terribly proud of his oatmeal raisin cookies, so he brought enough for the whole class as well

And holy shit

James never thought it could be done

But EVERY SINGLE KID in that classroom was eating oatmeal raisin cookies like there was no tomorrow

Like

James tried to make sure there was a cookie left at the end for Liam to take home to you

But he couldn’t keep them out of these kids’ grubby little paws and they ended up eating them all :(((((((((

James is really sad when he notices

He hadn’t quite realized just how much he wanted you to try his cookies but now he’s really disappointed

And poor Liam :((((((

Poor baby Liam is also pretty put out by it, James can tell

James apologizes to Liam about it

Liam says it’s fine, but James sees right through it

He gives Liam a big hug at the end of the day as well as another apology

(And a lollipop, but secretly so the other kids don’t ask for one too)

A month passes, and everything’s pretty normal

Until one weekend in early February, James hears knocking on his apartment door

He’d been grading, and Remus and Sirius were over to hang about and chat

James wasn’t expecting anyone else to arrive so he’s pretty confused

But he answers anyway

(Let's be honest here people, James would be the first to be killed in a horror movie)

Thankfully Jason doesn’t murder James on his doorstep

Instead (and very surprisingly) it’s Liam who’s standing anxiously at James’ front door

Immediately, James thinks the worst

Did something happen to Liam? Are you home? Did something happen to you?

James is immediately crouched in front of Liam, eye level, asking him what he needs

And Liam anxiously stutters out that he needs help

With what? you may ask

Well, my dear reader

Liam needs help making homemade oatmeal raisin cookies

For his mom

For her birthday

LIAM ISTG—ASDKFJHLWN

YOUR SON IS SUCH A SWEETHEART

AND JAMES CANNOT GET OVER IT

(He’s also super relieved bc he was real scared for a second that something terrible had happened)

So Liam and James and Remus and Sirius (who Liam knows as Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black from school) all get to work making homemade oatmeal raisin cookies for you for your birthday

Liam explains that you’re working a twelve-hour shift and a couple hours of overtime on top of that, so you set him up with Ms. Hope (Remus’ mom, who watches him often)

Apparently Liam asked her if he could go to James’ apartment to ask if he could bake oatmeal raisin cookies for his mom, and Ms. Hope said yes

(Remus quickly calls his mother to reassure her that Liam arrived safe and sound and is currently baking with them, just so she doesn’t worry herself)

Liam also informs James, Remus, and Sirius that he’s supposed to be staying at Ms. Hope’s house until tomorrow morning, when you’ll pick him up

Ms. Hope insisted that you leave Liam with her and not worry about him, if just for the night

The four boys have a blast for the next three hours or so, baking far too many batches of cookies and then finding a nice gift bag to put them in

James also gets some stray craft supplies (he keeps it around in case he runs out at school) and everyone makes their own birthday cards for you

Harry goes back to Ms. Hope’s just in time for dinner, which James, Sirius, and Remus join them for, much to Ms. Hope’s excitement

The evening is just terribly fun for all of them

Fast forward to the next day and you’re rushing to look semi-presentable to go get Liam from Ms. Hope’s house

The doorbell rings, and you’re cursing internally because you’re already fifteen minutes late

You got home so late at night that it was actually early in the morning, and you’d overslept

And now there’s another thing to deal with at the door

James’ eyebrows raise slightly at the force with which you wrench open the door, and he’s a little concerned that you’ll be displeased at what he’s done

But you realize who it is (Liam) and who he’s with (James) and all the tension in your shoulders melts back

Liam is immediately all over you, wishing you a happy birthday with a big hug and a wet kiss to your cheek and resting his head on your shoulder when you pick him up

You’re completely thrilled to see him

(If immensely confused about why your son's teacher is also on your doorstep with a rather large gift bag)

James smiles sheepishly, but he’s reassured by your smile as you say good morning

So he explains the whoooooole story with you pitching in here and there

Until finally he gets to the fact that he and Liam (and Remus and Sirius ofc) have made you oatmeal raisin cookies

At this point, James is pretty certain that you can’t do much to endear him further to you

But you’ve got the most lovely way of proving him wrong when he begins to think like that because the way your eyes light up at the mention of oatmeal raisin cookies makes James want to keep repeating the words over and over so the look never fades from your face

He hands over the gift bag (with another small explanation about the two extra cards and who exactly Sirius and Remus are), wishes you a happy birthday, and politely excuses himself

As much as James loves to be around you and Liam, he knows his place

At the end of the day, he’s still Liam’s kindergarten teacher, and Liam is still your son

So he leaves you and Liam to celebrate your birthday between the two of you

When he gets back to his flat and locks the door behind him, James feels a strange sort of ache settle over his shoulders and seep deep into the cavity of his chest. He swallows around the strange feeling in his throat and takes a deep breath. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. 

Next Part: James Takes Liam to School

[inkybinkyboink]

"all the marauders died", "they all got murdered", "but peter betrayed everyone", "they're straight anyways"

SHUT UP.

BEACH EPISODE HEADCANONS

i've no doubt in my mind that this has already been written somewhere just in a different font but im high off of river water and algae right now so call me freddy mercury the lead singer of hit 70's band Queen because Don't Stop Me Now.

james is the one that organized it and man like lobbied for this okay

he waited MONTHS for everyone to have a day off at the same time and he took it and RAN

and lucky for him, it's the perfect day. it's a sunny, hot day in the middle of august, the clouds are simply beautiful, but it's still nice and sunny like i mean perfect

don't ask how, i don't know, but i think it would be really funny if james drove a minivan. mom drives a minivan and he picks everyone up

peter has to be shotgun because he gets mad carsick

james also tries so fucking hard to bring snacks for everyone but he forgets that sirius is allergic to nuts and half of the food he brings has nuts in it

just hear me out okay i think it would be really funny if big bad sirius black was allergic to peanuts

sirius would also be the one to dress the most unconventional for the beach and then whine about being uncomfortable the entire time.

remus and peter are certified Staying on the Beach™ boys. peter because he's scared of the sea and remus because he's still got cuts that are healing and he'd really rather not literally put salt on an open wound

sirius also burns like paper and is too stubborn to put on sunscreen

remus likes finding stones to skip, though

"i'll stay here and guard the snacks" -peter pettigrew

if there's a dock or something james is jumping off of it without hesitation

he gets into a diving competition with sirius to see who can make the biggest splash which ends when they jump into each other while diving into the water

finding seashells 🤝 remus lupin

peter would fall asleep in the sun and they would all absolutely bury him up to his neck in sand

they pester remus for bringing a fucking book to the beach

i mean this so sincerely and honestly with the most love and adoration in mind but the way james potter turns into a fucking 5 year old boy at the beach is insane

"guys watch me do a flip", "look, i can do a hand-stand in the water", "dude that wave was totally a shark fin", "do you think if i drank an entire redbull i could swim across the atlantic?", "i can totally see the coast of canada from here

james and sirius definitely have yet another competition to see who can hold their breath for longer.

on at least one occasion remus has to drag sirius out of the water because he might as well be fucking drowning and remus is the only one who has first aid training

the drive home is silent because everyone's asleep except for james who now realized it would have been way easier to just use magic transport and is now suffering the consequences of his own actions

prize for most sunburnt goes to sirius

prize for best sandcastle goes to peter

prize for most seaworthy goes to james

prize for best seashell collector goes to remus

[bluetimeombre]

: ̗̀➛ Imagine being in a secret relationship with Regulus Black...

Let's imagine you're best friends with the marauders (cliche, i know, but gold!)

You basically have four older brothers and Sirius had always been so good to you, James saw you as a sister, Peter idolised you and Remus, he'd give the world for you (i love Remus, sorry not sorry),

And let's imagine you're also from a powerful pure blood family who fell out with the dark ways all other families were turning. You and your family made sure to distance yourself away from the dark arts, essentially turning your back on what you had known,

But then, you end up at one of those pure-blood parties and outside, looking miserable and lonely is Regulus himself,

You go out and join him cause the party is lame,

You'd seen each other around school, the Slytherin prince and Gryffindor princess,

You guys end up talking about anything, except your friends- one of which being his brother- it would ruin the whole mood,

You guys ditched the party and ran around London in his fine suit and your rich clothes,

You walked the deserted streets and when the air turned cold, Regulus draped his jacket over your shoulders,

It smelt of him,

The two of you knew you need to get back, you'd told yourself to go several times, yet neither of you could pull yourselves out of the moment, hidden between two buildings as you leaned against the wall,

Slowly he starts to lean down, till his curls brushed the top of your head and you were stretching out to nudge your nose with his and then his lips were on yours,

Probably went something like:

'We should go.'

'Definitely.'

He's leaning in. 'We'd probably be in a lot of trouble if anyone found out about this.'

'Grounded for sure.'

'And it's dark.'

'Yes.'

His curls are brushing you and he's so close you can feel his breath. 'Do you want to go?'

'Do you want to go?'

Then he kisses you. And his lips are like some forbidden paradise that you knew had to be kept from you. But his lips are soft and his hands hold on your cheeks as he pulls away for breath, but you followed his lips and chased them with your own,

If this was your sin, you'd go down burning,

His fists curled in his own jacket draped around you, drawing you into his chest,

BOY you could've died then and there,

Eventually you part and both of your lips are red and swollen so you guys have to calm down and you make your way back in silence,

Boy would've gone to bed that night caressing his lips at the thought of you,

Then you're back at school and you have to act like nothing happened,

But you're seeing each other around the castle more and more, in corridors alone and quickly turning away from each other and finding another way around so you don't have to walk past each other (because if you walked past each other there's no telling which one of you would push the other against the wall and finish what was started)

You guys catch each others eyes at breakfasts and dinners and keep looking up at the same time in class,

You're just lucky the boys can't see this,

Then one night you're in the library when technically you shouldn't be (because it was just a full moon and you're trying to bring a book to cheer Remus up)

There he is. Regulus Black, lingering in the very isle you want to be in,

You guys exchange pleasantries, though it's BRIMMED with sexual tension,

You move into the isle, looking around the bookshelf for the book you need,

At some point Regulus crept behind you, his entire front pressed into your back. You guys just fit together, perfect!

And then you've forgotten about the book and you're turning around and your lips are crashing into each other's before you can draw a breath,

It spoke of the weeks of un-said things, leaving the kiss unfinished the last time, longing that existed in your souls long before you knew what it was,

Your lips were moulding together, sharing breath, his hands fisting your shirt (and maybe your skirt. he's a gentleman but he's also a teenage boy) and you're pulling at his tie and he's pushing you against the table and running his tongue into your mouth and you're nipping his bottom lip,

Good LORD,

Then you hear the shuffling of feet and the two of you are torn apart, looking at different shelves and acting as if your skins not on fire and you weren't just trying to claw your way into each other,

It was Evan and he was telling Regulus to hurry up,

Regulus asked for a minute alone and finally once his friend has gone, he's turning back and whispering to you,

'I haven't stopped thinking about you, torturing me. Please, meet me again. Down at the Black lake, tomorrow.'

You try to argue-

'Please,' he said and what could you do when he's pleading and his breath is hot in your ear. 'Let's not care about everyone else, not right now, please.'

So that's where it began. The two of you and clandestine meetings kept away from everyone else. It was sweet and scandalous,

You and Regulus would be in the library at the same time, coincidently studying for the same subjects. You had to share books, so you may as well study together and you may as well sit next to year other and he may as well rest his hand where it's most comfortable: on your thigh,

And it started in passion. Kisses and fumbling hands but soon it's talking. About the stresses and reputations to up-hold, you were the only one Regulus could speak to about it to,

So your passion turns to love,

Smirks across the hall and classes becomes smiles and shimmering eyes,

When you guys pass in corridors, if you're both on your way somewhere, you'll brush hands, holding on for a moment before carrying on your day,

But I imagine Regulus having this move:

Let's say you walk past him and give him the look (and you look irresistible in your uniform that he can never say no to you, no matter what you want) so he pretends to realise he's going the wrong way and will check nobody's watching before he follows you while keeping a distance,

Your guys pain meeting places are the astronomy tower, the black lake and the library,

I imagine, once you guys make it official between you, there isn't a night you don't spend together. Nothing has to happen, it's just a fact Regulus sleeps better with you in his arms,

Whether you each sneak into the dorm and pull the curtains around it and making several charms to keep quiet and everyone away or if you guys have the room of requirement,

And it would be hard to be around your friends when they pick on Regulus or his friends, so you try not to be apart of it,

(I think Remus would probably be the first to catch on but let's save that for later)

I just think a forbidden romance between Regulus and you is top tier shit!!!

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"So how well did you do in the exam, Sev?"Lily asks excitedly.

Severus makes a dramatic pause, but is hiding a smile, then he shows her his paper: "An easy A+"

Lily, who didn't sleep to study all night, blushes. But she still shows her friend her own exam.

"An A - . But just barely. Physics is not my strongest subject"

It is the most difficult subject for everyone. Because their professor gives them the most horrible examinations. Everyone is torn up after it has ended. Lily knows some of her classmates even cried.

Severus touches her shoulder "You did great, Lily. It was a general difficult exam. You know how Frumentar is"

He doesn't sound like he made much effort. While Lily is exhausted for cracking her head up during the exam. She feels like a fool for trying so hard when others make it look so easy.

It should have been an A+. Lily feels like a failure.

That's when she hears them. The Marauders.

Peter sounds very stressed "I can't believe you got an A+. An A+!! It was the most difficult exam I've ever done"

"Easy peacy, I tell you" James grins.

"But you didn't even study!" Peter protests "We stayed until late with Remus revising it all"

James shrugs "The exam had everything Frumentar gave us in class. Nothing out of this world"

Peter groans, reflecting Lily's annoyance. How dares he? James Potter is Lily's number one enemy for a reason.

"How did you guys do?" James is asking to his friends.

Peter hides his paper. Sirius and Remus look at each other.

"C+" Remus sighs "I knew I could do better"

Lily would have died if she got a C+. She had never been lower than a B+.

"Same" Sirius hits Remus's palm. He doesn't look perturbed like him though "I don't worry. Grades are stupid. School sucks. It's all about the great things you do in life" he winks "Like Steve Jobs, for example. Did you know he left school?"

"I bet Steve Jobs didn't have a mother that would kill him" Peter whines.

"What did you get, Wormy?" Sirius asks putting an arms around him.

"I'm not sharing my grade" Peter blushes.

"It's okay, boys" James exclaims "Not everyone can be a genius like me"

Lily's blood boils. She really hates him. How come he is great at everything without moving a stupid finger? Some people are great academically but suck at sports. Like Severus. Others are great at Gymnastics but aren't that good at school. Like Marlene.

Although James Potter is good at both. And Lily hates him for that.

James Potter, Severus and her are always competing to be the top of their class. And it might be stupid. But Lily wants to win. All the time.

"I bet he has the teachers bought, Lily. Don't worry" Severus says, sensing Lily's anger.

"Let's just go, Sev"

Lily is so so angry and frustrated that when she passes by and James says "Hey, Evans" in the cheeky way he always does, she groans openly.

"How did you do in the exam?"

"Fuck off!!"

[wolveria]

My Tech-genda

I haven't written meta in a long time, but I just have so much to say about Infiltration and Extraction:

I'm sure there will be a ton of these, but my two cents as to how X is actually Tech (or Tex, as @nightfall-1409 calls him).

The POV of the show relied heavily on this new assassin, and that means he's a Special boy. Not like the assassin we saw in the trailer who died this episode arc. This is the boy we see on Pabu. That other assassin was a throwaway, maybe to get us off the scent.

And this is the big one for me, Tex fought like each of the OG Batch, including himself. Detonations, hacking, sniper rifle, vibroblade. His hobby of recording everything makes me think he either has eidetic memory, or he's an excellent copycat of what he's observed, especially something he would see on a daily basis.

Tex breaking out old tools. The pad on his arm almost like his old comm device/datapad. The grappling hook down the shaft. An evil little baby Marauder.

Falling and surviving (again). Maybe re-broke or simply re-injured that old broken femur. Conveniently, Tex hunches over a little so we can’t see how tall he is compared to other clones like Wolffe (they probably use the same model for all the Clone X assassins so this might be delusional on my part, but I think it would be a nice touch).

Also, the lighting this season is supposed to be a Big Deal, right.

This pulled back shot after Tex comes out of the hideout, he’s limping and injured, and there’s darkness all around him. He’s walking through this shaft of light, like a spotlight or a beacon, and I’m just like. Wow. Why such emotional shots for a random bad guy huh.

That was my same issue with the big season 3 trailer. When we get a shot of Clone X on Pabu, the music swells in an emotional, dramatic arc. You wouldn't waste that on some random guy. At least, I wouldn't.

Last but not least, Tex's reaction to drowning Crosshair, and Crosshair gently grabbing at his shoulder before he falls unconscious. He pulls back a little and pants heavily. I genuinely can't tell if Tex is reacting to the touch, Crosshair fading away, or both.

I also don't need to go into the imagery of Crosshair and Tech being mirrors of each other through the water, and that Tex is the Imperial agent that Crosshair failed to be. We've seen two methods of the Empire's control: reconditioning and the inhibitor chip. Seems the Empire is learning from its mistakes when it comes to the failing chips.

Note: There is much more I could go into, like despite the fact his voice is heavily modulated, Tex sounds exactly like his old self when he's grunting/panting. There's still so much to uncover, but I thought this was a nice start.

Sources: I write and have music/video editing experience, and these are things that make sense to me.

Addendum: Folks saying this is "bad writing" (an opinion, not a fact) are missing the point.

The question is not: Is it bad writing? The question is, can I masturbate to it? The answer, in this case, is yes.

Anyway that’s my Tech-genda thanks for listening.

[laventadorn]

I am madly in love with the way you described Dumbledore in TNER. It's one of my favorite characters, but I know so few works where he really resembles the book version. You've done it perfectly. And I'm curious, what do you generally think of such a controversial personality?

aw, thank you! :3

dumbledore is super polarizing (or do most people hate him these days? i'm always reading pro-snape stories and Dumbledore is persona non grata in those akgjaj not sure how he shakes down in other parts of fandom).

to me, characters are either boring or interesting. within these designations, you can have different shades: "aggressively uninterested" or "just don't think about them at all," vs. "their psychology intrigues me" to "i must hereafter shape my identity around my new blorbo" (e.g. snape!)

dumbledore is my "his psychology intrigues me" type. he fascinates me. what the heck is his deal. he lets harry run around doing the most insane things with monsters and bodily harm, lets snape run around doing the most insane things to his students egos; lets the marauders do whatever the heck was going on there; hires a dude wearing voldemort as an accessory, and gilderoy lockheart -- the list is endless. but then! he's genuinely kind to house-elves. he's completely free of werewolf prejudice, and other prejudices besides (apart from the Youthful World Domination phase in which he hated muggles and stuff). he does seem to be genuinely kind and caring. he's also idolized by the narrative, talked up pretty much at every turn.

there's a kind of cognitive dissonance to the guy.

the narrative for six books: omg dumbledore is THE most amazing. the kindest, the most enlightened, the most trustworthy, the one harry trusts without reserve, the one who gives everyone strength, the only one voldemort fears, defeater of grindelwald, also he loves candy! proof he's the best.

the Secret Backstory dropped in the last book: uhm ACTUALLY

the narrative again: NO HE'S STILL THE BEST. ignore harry dying. THE BEST. ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER. SEE?

to be clear, none of this bothers or annoys me. i just don't think of it that way. what i do think is that JKR was trying to finagle something she didn't quite have the subtlety to pull off.

once we get his full backstory, we have a guy who 1) went through a world domination phase with the man he loved 2) accidentally murdered his own sister 3) realized the path he was on would lead to widespread destruction 4) isolated himself from the world because he couldn't be trusted, either with power or with love.

this is my favorite thing about dumbledore: he locks himself up in a tower because he believes, or understands, himself to be an incredible danger to life and liberty. he cannot be trusted. he proves this over and over: first with the safety of his siblings; then the safety of the larger world; and finally, tragically, the safety of harry. he doesn't even trust himself, although he continues to act as if his judgments are without fault or flaw. he tells harry that because his intellect is greater than most people's, his errors tend to be correspondingly huger -- a line that leads harry to believe dumbledore made the wrong judgement about snape, of course, but which is actually about dumbledore's own youth. but the fact that dumbledore turned down an official position of power (minster for magic) and sequestered himself in hogwarts from a young age, that's him not trusting himself, and knowing it, and removing himself from the temptation of widespread influence and public control.

his past wrong judgements become more impactful when we understand he was in love with grindelwald and probably still harbors some tangled knot of feelings. HP is a series about love -- voldemort never understood it, was conceived in violation of it; harry was protected by an act of love from lily, who died for him, and an act of love from snape, who lived for her. harry's patronus, the purest expression of joy that magic is capable of manifesting, is borne of his own love for his father. harry's enduring love for the family he never knew protects him not only from voldemort's touch but from his influence -- he declares he'll never Join the Dark Side because voldemort killed his parents. "you are protected," says dumbledore, "by your ability to love." this was not true for dumbledore.

harry's love purifies his intent and gives him courage. snape's love (again, see his vow, his patronus) turns him off a path of evil to one of self-sacrifice. dumbledore's love, by contrast, killed his sister, destroyed his relationship with his brother, allowed a villain to rise to power. i just think, damn. what must dumbledore feel when he looks at it that way?

i love the inherent destructiveness of loving something monstrous; loving something when you don't want to. there's a notion that we are what we love, or that our love is some reflection of ourselves. if we look at it like that, then dumbledore loving someone evil says a lot about him. but he was frightened by it, so he locked himself away.

he also combines what appears to be a great capacity for compassion with an equal capacity to sacrifice anything necessary in order to achieve a goal he's constructed as worthy.

this makes sense, too: in a way, he sacrificed himself all those years ago -- his plans, his future, his love, because the price was too high. dumbledore in his youth thought that he could Save the World by controlling people. then he realized that control has only ever doomed the world, but he never quite let go of saving the world. when voldemort rises, dumbledore takes a different tack of becoming a private general, or perhaps a military advisor: still largely removed from the thick of war but directing others, who are relieved and grateful to have his plans of attack. he also deeply inspires people, harry being one of the most powerful examples. harry places his absolute trust in dumbledore, believing that this person loves him (which he does) and will always protect him (which he can't) -- and dumbledore betrays this trust by openly acknowledging that, for the freedom of the world, harry needs to die.

it hurts dumbledore to realize that harry has to die in order for the world to be saved; it hurts him so badly he (as i see it) pawns off the truth-telling to snape. he can't look snape in the eye when he tells him; he can't look at anything. he shuts his eyes as if blindness will make it easier.

dumbledore could face the truth, the necessity. he doesn't say "we'll find another way," he says "harry must die." but he couldn't face harry. his desire to save the world once again places him in a position where he has to hurt someone he loves. and he does it. in a way, he keeps playing himself.

i LOVE that.

.....i wrote a lot more than i thought i would akgajgkahjh well, he's one of your favorites, so hopefully you didn't mind!

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Hi, please free to ignore( huge fan of your metas btw)

What are your thoughts on Peter pettigrew? In swm we saw him fanboying over james to being responsible for his death. Just because he was afraid or he never really loved his friends. Many people say James and Sirius treated him shitty thats why he betrayed. Some even say he was just a tag along. Please share your thoughts.

First of all, thank you!

(also, unless they are rude, I don't ignore any questions, it might just take me two years to answer)

Peter Pettigrew

My very controversial opinion on Peter is that I love him (as a character).

To me, Peter is one of those characters who represent how Rowling's clear lack of self-awareness as a person translates in her work into her being unable to recognize her strengths as a writer. The majority of the most interesting things she comes up with are not the ones she focuses on.

And that's the case for Peter Pettigrew, who might be the Marauder with the most interesting story.

It's way too easy to reduce him to a coward as the author seems to want you to believe. And even claiming he didn't love his friends is a flattening of his character.

You can have a tendency to be influenced by peer pressure all you want but you don't become an unregistered animagus to help someone if you don't love the friend you are doing that for and you don't have a bit of courage (especially considering how long the whole thing was and that he wasn't particularly talented). He risked extremely severe consequences on his body due to the possibility of the process going wrong and he risked Azkaban for being unregistered.

That's fundamentally the opposite behavior of the one he later has with the Potters.

I also think it's important to point out how Remus is not a close relative (father, son, brother) and how the help Peter provides is not essential to Remus' survival, it's emotional comfort. The lack of necessity of the animagus matter and the easily cancellable bond with Remus increase the braveness and love of Peter's act (in contrast for example with something like what Narcissa does with her son by lying to Voldemort).

I think Peter's story is the one of someone who lost his courage, not the one of a person who never had it.

Doesn't this also make it so much more delicious how his downfall is caused by the return of a glimpse of honor?

I do agree with the fact that in SWM, James and Sirius don't treat him particularly well, especially Sirius, but I don't think they are that aware of it, especially James. They are a bit crude, and they are arrogant. They are two bright posh 16yo guys in a boarding school in the 70s. I don't expect from them a particularly high level of sensitivity in how they talk to people, especially to someone they take for granted knows to be their friend. Sirius is probably more aware of it, but I believe James to be quite unaware of himself at this point in the timeline. This is before his maturation really kicks in, his whole interaction with Lily shows a lack of self-awareness in how he talks to people (we know Lily turns him into a bit of an idiot, the problem is that he doesn't seem to be aware of it). Sirius on the other hand seems a lot more self-aware than James. A lot of people are not going to like what I'm about to say but: James is canonically a better person than Sirius.

And yet, it is abundantly clear that both James and Sirius love Peter.

James gives into Peter's hands his own life and the ones of his wife and son. Sirius gives in Peter's hands the lives of the family he chose.

In the Shrieking Shack, under all the pain Sirius has for the death of James and Lily, it is evident that there's also the pain that comes from the betrayal of a friend.

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Black. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!" - Chapter 19, Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban

Lily herself is very attached to Peter, in her letter to Sirius, she calls him Wormy (how cute is that?). And, let's remember that she too puts her life and the ones of her husband and son in Peter's hands.

It's too easy to say Peter was just a tagalong, that they didn't love him. It incredibly diminishes the pain of his act.

I also would like to point out that Peter isn't stupid. He was a double agent, he managed to frame Sirius by using in his favor people’s low opinion of his skills (and Remus and Sirius' rocky relationship). James, Sirius, and Remus might have thought of themselves as smarter than Peter but I don't think they actually believed him to be stupid. Considering who the Marauders are, their knowing how good of a liar, and how cunning Peter could be, would be a perfect explanation of why they became friends in the first place.

Does this mean they all loved Peter but Peter only loved Remus out of his friends?

We can't really be sure of his feelings for Sirius, but the admiration he shows for James and the sense of guilt we know he has for his double agent activities don't really align with that image.

I think Peter's fear for his own life ended up winning over the love for his friends.

But why at this point? Why not at Hogwarts?

Something quite interesting is how Peter's father is the only parent of the Marauders who is never mentioned, not in the books, not in any additional material. Doesn't that align just so well with Peter always putting himself at the service of the most important male figure around? First James, and then after school, with the war going on, Voldemort.

Isn't it such a fitting image, Peter growing up without a father, with a too-cuddling mother whom he ends up resenting, faulting her for the absence of the father? It's so natural to paint him as a young man crushed by a sense of inadequacy towards an image of masculinity he idealizes but can't fulfill, supported by a society filled with a very toxic sense of masculinity and an absent father he can sew on any fantasy he wants.

When Peter was at Hogwarts, being friends with James, and being part of the Marauders, gave Peter a sense of security that allowed him to be brave enough to prioritize his love for his friends over himself.

Out in the real world, though, Voldemort is the dominant man and being positioned against the Dark Lord takes away the sense of security he had as a student. Both times Peter goes to Voldemort, he does it because he doesn't feel safe.

It's also abundantly clear how Peter's siding with Voldemort doesn't come from ideology. He becomes an animagus for Remus, he's a dear friend of Lily.

Peter dies because Voldemort doesn't trust him, and he is right in not trusting him. Somewhere in Peter, there's still the boy who risked his life for a friend.

Try to tell me this is not an interesting character.

He's still a coward overall, but a complex one.

Also, Peter Pettigrew is a clear victim of pretty privilege when it comes to the fandom. I'm ready to bet whatever you want that if he had been described as handsome the most popular ship with Sirius would be Sirus/Peter.

Actually, he didn't even have to be described as handsome, he just needed to not be described as ugly. Draco is described as having a pointy face and people have been lying to themselves claiming he's incredibly handsome for the last twenty-five years.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Happy Birthday David Dastmalchian 🎂🎉🎁🎈

To celebrate, I'm stealing borrowing from my friend's @polkadotjohnson amazing idea of making a Top 10 Loved/Hottest roles of his, with an honourable mention for both~ Here's 30 of my most adored characters of his with little snippets for each, it's a looooong read, and if anyone else wants to make their own, here's a tierlist I made for this exact purpose 💗💗💗

10.

💘 Love of my Life - Dr Fearless

My cringefail boyfriend, I love every single headcanon I hear about him. He was so damn cute even before I fell in love, and now every time I see him I start giggling and kicking my feet lol 😚 I adore how much fun DD has with him, and honestly I’m gunna dress as a vampire for Halloween this year /)w(\ been like 20+ years but I really really wanna do it!

🔥 Hottest Role - Whistling Marauder (Bird Box)

Mother of mercy. We rewatched the whole movie just for him, so naturally he shows up near the end and then died ;w; but that outfit, holy hell. Oh my god. I’m such a sucker for bad boys and this guy is going around forcing people to stare at this eldrich being that’ll destroy you or drive you mad. And he looks goddamn great while doing it. Gunna attach myself to the chain on his jeans. Okay I’m normal again, what a way to start off the list lmao

❣️ Honourable Mention - Luke (Singled Out)

Douchebag. Shitty brother who’s also great if only to save his own ass. Thief. Pure idiot. Irresistible. I knew the moment I saw the clips on youtube that he would so be my type, and seeing the full pilot only proved that. Dude picked a burger over getting his sister, he would treat me so wrong half the time, but then he’d make me waffles and it’d be all better 😊

9.

💘 Love of my Life - The Writer (Making Love)

This one breaks my heart so much. I’ve been in a relationship like this before, and I really want to save him from his. He’s beautiful, he’s talented, his outfit is hot as hell with all the rings and bracelets and necklaces, not to mention the undone shirt buttons, he’s got the emo bangs, he is the complete package for me. The only reason he isn’t higher is because I fell for many others first. I almost never watched this one because my brain was going haywire trying to imagine what kinda scenes I’d find in something with a title like that, and sure enough my face was so red the entire time since I watched with headphones and it starts with him whispering right in my ear, like him asking, ‘Do you love me?’ nearly made me cry, I love him so much. If I could bring specifically him to life I would love the hell outta him until he stopped needing such a painful, self-destructive fake love with the Woman QwQ

❣️ Honourable Mention - Nick (Love is an Elevator)

This one is just a silly little guy /)w(\ right from the start he’s so adorable, I would melt if anything even close to his interaction happened to me, and him just swooning and saying she was beautiful before bailing in tears is so me-coded TwT I would love to go out on a date with him!

🔥 Hottest Role - Abra Kadabra (The Flash)

Abra was so tricky to place because I love him, but as soon as I remembered his buckle outfit from his second episode I knew he had to go under Hot. Like, again, I’m so weak. I love his attitude, I love how he just wants that applause for his showmanship, his ‘powers’ are cool as hell, and DD has the wand in his home now and I think that’s so damn cool 😊 The reveal with him wanting to bring back his alternate timeline family was so sweet I almost cried, and he definitely didn’t deserve to be killed out so instantly right after his redemption. Not even a fan/watcher of the show, but in my head I’m having Flash warn him about it since he’s from the future, so he’s fine now 😌

8.

💘 Love of my Life - James Lewis (Teacher)

James was also incredibly difficult to place because I love him so much ;w; The entire movie I was rooting for him, guy did nothing wrong in the face of what was going on around him, and granted he did take things too far, but… villains are hot 😳 so I won through that entire movie. And he lived! And kept getting to teach! I remember I pointed at the screen when he was putting books away cause that’s my job lol I felt truly close to him in that short moment 😂 Anyway, Arabella didn’t deserve him, like she wasn't into it from the moment they met, every single time he talked she would do this 😬 guy was going through hell and was very clearly in a bad place all around, I can’t fault him for drunkenly saying the wrong thing if it were me, even if it did really hurt me. Gunna give him a new wedding ring to put on when he gets outta prison.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Hector (Premature)

He’s so cute!!! I may be weak for villains, but I adore his sweeter roles as well, I’m so glad I got to see him. If I moved to a new city and he was my neighbour I’d know I’d be okay, because honestly he needs to be my roommate like yesterday. A chef who’s afraid to cook because of OCD, I’m sure he’d be able to help me with my own cooking from a safe distance, and I already have some practice as my sibling has OCD and is very strict about how her food is handled, so I’ll have come full circle. I just need to make him more okay with cuddles first…

🔥 Hottest Role - Denham (A Killer of Men)

Denham was another one that was hard to place, because that axe twirls makes me insane, but with what little screentime he gets it all evens out. Another great villain, he’s just senseless violence in a bloody wedding dress and he works it. Love the look, love the vibe, if the world ended and the whole gang was coming at me I’d be honoured if he was the one who got me (I swear I’m not that deranged lmao just thirsty)

7.

💘 Love of my Life - Simon Lynch (Almost Human)

Even now I feel like Simon should be higher, especially since I’ve written my fic about him as well as my deep dive. I’ve said it before but my heart really went out to him, the deep dive says way more than I can fit it here, which probably means he should be higher lol so give that (and maybe the fic too 👉👈😌) a read if you haven’t already, all my love for him went into both.

❣️ Honourable Mention - James Harris (The Employer)

Another adorable character, the bar flashbacks had me blushing every time. We all knew it’d be him, but I’m so glad he pulled through at the end. I want this one to be happy, especially after everything he went through. Absolutely cutiepie, gunna be the one to pay for his dinner after he gets home 😊

🔥 Hottest Role - Dwight Pollard (Gotham)

Since I go into all of his roles blind, I had no idea what to expect for this one, but from the start I was hooked. Having him be a crazed cult leader with the biggest, most feral smile and laugh ever stole my heart the things I would let this man do to me sakndskjds I liveblogged his eps to a friend of mine who’s seen Gotham and has been trying to get me to watch it for ages cause I love DC, so she was thrilled as I sat here screaming about everything leading up to his ending :’D I’ve gotten some encouragement to write him, so when I do it’s gunna be so insane I’ll have to tag the hell outta it lmao (btw making these gifs nearly killed me oh my god I need him)

6.

💘 Love of my Life - Joshua Whitmore (Cass)

All the pain I went through trying to get this movie was worth it because it all led to him. I love him, I adore him, I’m so incredibly glad that so many others got to see him and love him too thanks to my trials and tribulations. DD’s only artist role, I got to connect with him on a personal level not shared with the others, and my desire to make sure he’s safe and taken care of is so strong that I wrote 26k about him, they’re two of my most favourite things I’ve ever written. I’ve thrown the ending of the movie out and completely placed it with my own, which can be found in my fics, and until Hugh Schulze DMs me personally and tells me what his vision was, that’s what I’m sticking with forever. So rest easy, he’s free from New York and buyers and dealers and the street and he’s safe and happy and painting again ;w;

❣️ Honourable Mention - Thomas Schiff (The Dark Knight)

The OG, a lot of people’s first roles of his, including mine. I remember seeing this movie in theaters when it came out so that means I saw him up there, on the big screen, and something about him stuck around in my brain until I finally realized my love QwQ Even if he isn’t as fleshed out in my mind to make the actual list, I still needed to include him in some way, I hope he got placed somewhere that wasn't Arkham after Batman stepped in.

🔥 Hottest Role - Cam (Relaxer)

I will never watch Relaxer again. Couldn’t even do it while I was making his scenepack cause so many horrible things happen to Abbie I couldn’t take it. But Cam, oh my god, I need this man. Someday I wanna write this huge fic about the reader trying to date him, and there’s no redemption. He’s still terrible at the end. But that’s what we all love about him, how shitty he is and how the potential is there for him to make us all worse. He sucks, but in the best way, and I kinda need him to maybe bully me please 😳 (making that first gif nearly made me blackout why is he doing pushups)

5.

💘 Love of my Life - Bob Taylor (Prisoners)

When I started adding names to my list of men I loved, Bob wasn't even on it at first I think, despite liking him in the movie. Then I saw more with him and added him to crushes. Now I’m fully in love with him, and he breaks my heart every single day. He was hurting for so long, even when we were watching I couldn’t place the blame on him while the rest of my family were convinced just like Loki that he was the one, but no matter what I couldn’t. The second I saw his sweet smile I told them there was no way it was him, and sure enough I was right. Another character who didn’t deserve what happened to him, I’ve been slowly helping him with my headcanons, but in my personal queue I have a fic planned for him and he will have no more sad days when I do 😭 I also have a bunny plush I’d had for years, my dad bought it for me and it’s been sitting on my bed ever since, and when I’m sad I hold it and pretend Bob gave it to me, it’s honestly got me through some much needed therapy because if he could go about his day with that kind of trauma then I could be brave and call about my own mental health :’)

❣️ Honourable Mention - Lonny Crane (The Belko Experiment)

This one’s a bit of a double whammy, cause I love him, but the switch to violence had me staring 👀 Either way, he didn’t deserve his death, but since it is a killing game type movie he was doomed from the start, at least his seemed instant 🥺 Someday I’ll write a fixit for him too, it was just too much for him back to back to back, he really didn’t deserve his final moments to have him as a villain even though I would really love to be lifted up like that aklskjdskds okay I’m normal again

🔥 Hottest Role - Ray Watkins (The Rookie)

Have you seen this man? No really, have you seen him? The twirl, the shirt lifting on his hips, the cold but also fun villainy, the nonchalance to mask the cruelness underneath. I need him. This one is not a Want, he is a Need and I need him. I hope that he gets to come back in the future to fully wrap up his plot along with the cop’s plot, pleasepleaseplease, otherwise I will die unsatisfied.

4.

💘 Love of my Life - Kurt Goreshter (Ant-Man 1-2)

I believe he might’ve been the second role I’d ever seen, but only after I really got into the MCU after Endgame. I skipped Ant-Man in my original watches, since I was mostly just into the Avengers and Cap (mainly Bucky lol) in general, but when I finally did a full marathon I really enjoyed the first movie. Cannot remember my feelings for him now since it’s been about 4 years, but I do know when I went back to rewatch in March I fell the second I saw him 🥰 the hair, the accent, the outfit AGAIN, and those hand tattoos, this is another Perfect Man. My crush on him is incredibly strong, it told me that yeah I was really starting to fall for DD (at that point I’d just seen Demeter a few times, and then Oppenheimer on accident) and it officially kicked off my marathon that eventually led me to my collection I have today. 

❣️ Honourable Mention - Lester Billings (The Boogeyman)

My family actually watched this without me way before my crush began, so when I saw he was in it I just had to finally sit down and watch it myself. Cue me hurriedly typing to my sibling when he showed up lol this man is SAD! He’s so beautiful and sad, I just wanna make a new family with him (I would be a parent for him, that’s the extent of my love) so he can be happy again. I love the backstory I made up for him way more than the original story, sorry Stephen King but you made him awful and I don’t want that one. I’m gunna save this man and he WILL smile again, that’s a Ray Guarantee.

🔥 Hottest Role - The Vampire (Cora)

Now, to start, this one falls prey to Very Bad Writing Choices. I will not deny that. Like, even with the allegory of the whole thing (that I did not see cause I just saw a short vampire story honestly) it's very much Not Good. But that’s why I’m removing him from the short and keeping him. In fact, go read polkadotjohnson’s fics on him, they’re fantastic and I adore how she wrote him. I someday wish to do my own, because otherwise everyone who can’t look past the Very Bad Writing Choices are getting straight up robbed of this one. Those double fangs need to introduce themselves to my neck pronto, you see what I’m saying? He’s so goddamn hot, DD needs to play a very serious vampire role again so everyone can see the Vision, he wants to do it, I need to win the lottery so I can fund this movie myself, that’s my new life’s goal.

3.

💘 Love of my Life - Jack Delroy (Late Night With the Devil)

The first movie I saw in theaters after my crush began! My friend saw him in a tweet about it and linked me to it so I thought it was already out, but I ended up having to wait two weeks and it nearly killed me ;w; I went in completely blind, which is good cause the trailer spoils so many great shots unfortunately, and the entire time I was swooning. Like, I usually whisper to my sibling during movies if we have comments, we’re very talkative at home when we watch stuff, but this time I was just sitting there staring with hearts in my eyes without pause. I’m in love with this man, plain and simple, I’m so glad I was able to get to see it since it didn’t come to the theater closest, we had to drive an hour away and when dad joked about me paying for the tickets since I was the one who wanted to see it, I did in a heartbeat. I wanted to see it again, but it was only there a couple weeks, so by the time I was able to go it was gone and I’m still upset about it. I’d sell my soul for this man, I love writing for him so much, I’m so glad my crush on Wojchek bloomed just in time for me to see this.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Hank (Virgin Alexander)

I avoided this one at first because the trailer was making me cringe and I was going crazy over what kinda sexy awkward role he’d have in it, but I was pleasantly surprised in the end. I think the movie is actually cute, despite some stuff still making me cringe, and Hank is literally the most perfect boyfriend. If he showed up randomly in my life I would date him in a second, hands down. He’s so shaped like a friend, I know I’d always have fun with him even when we’re not Having Fun, and that’s all you can ever ask for in a relationship 😊

🔥 Hottest Role - Breck Montanari (Double Black)

Okay first of all I gave him that last name. Second of all, I wrote 70k about this man and I am so in love with him that I own him now. I’ve taken him from Sara Woomer, he’s mine now. He has a full past, gave him a future and a partner, there’s no way I couldn’t have fallen in love with him. Unfortunately that fic will never be shared as it’s private, but know that, again, until Sara Woomer DMs me personally and shares everything else about this world, this is my new canon for him. And the cult. And the entire area where he lives. And several of the members. And the new Double Black who was such a chill dude that I made my bff love him too. This is my secret legacy. He only lost out to my #2 because there’s no way he couldn’t be my #2.

2.

💘 Love of my Life - Wojchek (The Last Voyage of the Demeter)

The reason I finally learned his name QwQ I went into this movie blind, dad really wanted to see it and I love horror so I went with him, and the second I saw him I said, ‘Oh that guy! I know that guy!’ since by then I’d seen Kurt and Abner a few years earlier and vaguely remembered him. I spent the whole movie then dreading his end thanks to the opening lines, and I’m pretty sure I quietly yelled at the screen when he fell and then got got after praying he’d be okay TwT After Abner, he’s the first DD role I ever shipped with, and when my crush officially restarted I ended up writing my entire plot for him and Addy that night before bed. I love him so much, he’s my jolly sailor bold who stole my heart by crying over the thought of having to lose his home. He’ll forever own a special place in my heart because of all this, I can’t imagine anyone else taking this spot.

🔥 Hottest Role - Murdoc (MacGyver 2016)

Murdoc was the first TV role of his I checked out after I saw as many movies as I could that interested me (mostly all the ones on Prime sans a couple, my collection was very very small by then) and the moment I saw him be mentioned I was ready to go. The Alice in Wonderland vague text, running and then getting shocked before falling two floors, showing up with that hair, I was not prepared for everything else they were about to throw at me. Murdoc is one of my most favourite characters now, he’s so much fun, I adore everything about him, I’ve only edited with him twice and written him once, but I need to do both so much more! This one is hot as fuck, he’s adorable, he loves his son, he’s got tools, he’s utterly sadistic, he’s a silly little guy. This is another Perfect Man, I cannot wait to decide on his plot with Addy because there’s too many fun possibilities I honestly might just make multiple.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Willy Cunningham (The Domestics)

Now… you might all be thinking… why the hell is this guy a #2 honourable mention in the face of all the others… and the answer is… I’m a freak 😀 I’ll never say, but my eyes were opened to him, and my god, I will literally never be the same. I just need him and that insanely feral energy okay, lemme have this.

1.

💘 Love of my Life - Abner Krill (The Suicide Squad)

The love that started it all, I think I fell for him the moment he walked outta his cell and got teased. The love I feel for him goes so deep, it only compares to one other, and whenever I work on my plot for him and Addy I always get choked up. The ultimate one who didn’t deserve what he got, I actually refused to watch the movie again after he died, straight up did not watch until my marathon started, and as soon as I saw him in that cell it all came back. I instantly fell back in love with him, and thus his Addy plot has the most love put into it to make sure he’s happy and safe. I thought that maybe there’d be another to win my heart as my marathon grew, but nope he’s still there sharing it with my other #1, and seeing him can instantly bring a smile to my face no matter how I’m feeling. 

After the movie I read the trivia again and my crush on DD himself began, so it’s all thanks to him and Wojchek that I’ve met the people I know today and have created so many things in such a short time. When I hit my lowest low in years I just sat at my desk and held the funko I have of him and just cried it all out, and it honestly helped me get out of that spiral. Thanks to him I now have a Polka-Dot Man collection (still missing one figure and maybe a signed print and poster 👉👈🥰) and if I could get a plushie of him to join the ton I already have I’d buy him in a second. Maybe someday, if I have any courage, I’ll bring my funko or something to a con where DD is attending and get it signed, either him or my other #1, and I’ll cherish it forever.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Jude (Animals)

Like all the others, I went into this movie completely blind. I didn’t know DD wrote it or its significance to him until after it was over and the credits rolled. So the entire time I was watching I was falling in love with him, he was so incredibly my type in the moments he was actually happy that it’s insane, I spent the whole movie just saying how much I would date him in better circumstances. We were sadly betting which one of them was going to die as things just got worse, me and my sibling were watching so miserably, and then we were rewarded with a happy ending despite the bittersweetness. And then the credits rolled, after me repeatedly wondering why he’d accept a role like this after knowing at least about his addiction and it all fell into place. I haven’t been able to watch again so far now that I know a lot of what happened to Jude also happened to him, it breaks my heart too much, but I still love him deep down and I hope he was also able to heal after the credits rolled.

🔥 Hottest Role - Johnson (Reprisal)

Tied for first with Abner as the ultimate love of my life and claiming this one all to himself, Johnson is the Most Perfect Man. Literally, no other DD role can top him in my heart aside from Abner. I honestly almost skipped Reprisal entirely because the promo image on his imdb didn’t grab me (I’m such a fake fan I’m so ashamed of myself), but when I was done with everything else and wanted to see more, I downloaded it without ep9 since he wasn't in it, and started watching. What followed next was me falling so in love with the show that I spent forever trying to get that missing episode back from near dead torrents cause I needed to watch it even though he wasn't in it. Reprisal is my Roman Empire, I am constantly thinking about it and him and Matty, not just for my fic but just because I love it all so fucking much. 

Johnson himself is so fascinating, I’m incredibly in love with him and everything about him, he’s unlike any other role DD has played that there’s a complete disconnect in my mind, he’s just Johnson. He’s so goddamn hot I missed out on literally everything the first round because I was watching him so hard, Matty and Ethan were nonexistent to me and I’m madly in love with Matty now so let that sink in, and when I rewatched it immediately after with my parents it was like I was watching for the first time. I’m loving writing for him (and Matty and Ethan of course) so much that my thoughts go back to him daily, and it almost always includes me being on the verge of tears because of how insanely good this script is and how these boys bring me so much joy while also shattering my heart. 

Making the gif below no joke did make me cry like this show is my greatest weakness right now you guys don't even understand how much it and Johnson mean to me.

I need to edit more for him and them and the show in general, if I had endless money and all the confidence in the world I would truly fund this show single handedly so it can finish the way it was supposed to. I’m so mad at Hulu for giving me the greatest love(s) of my life before taking him away years before I’d ever know him, with no physical media or merch to at least collect to numb the pain. At some point I need to get some promo pics printed out as actual posters, I need this show on my wall so I can always see him.

[superfallingstars]

Hello superfallingstars - from one marauders fan to another, care to answer these too? Some will be repeated, but I want to know what you think!

- Which marauder likes a big city, and who prefers the countryside or a small town?

- Who got the most free drinks or pub snacks from Rosmerta?

- Who handled their drink the best?

- Who couldn’t handle their drink?

- Who gave the best romantic advice?

- Who learned the patronus charm first?

- Who swears the most?

- I suppose this excludes James, but we can swap him for Lily: who enjoyed watching Quidditch matches the most?

- Who had the coolest childhood bedroom? (This is very subjective, I know)

- Who’s the most likely to be a good cook?

- Who’s good at fixing things?

- Who was always getting caught and who never got caught?

- Most likely to be a vegetarian

That’s what I got for today! I hope you all don’t think I am a creep. I just like to come up with questions that dig a bit more into the personalities of my favourite characters.

Hi I would love to answer these!

Which marauder likes a big city, and who prefers the countryside or a small town?

I think James and Sirius would both prefer the big city (so much mischief to get into!), Peter would prefer the country (is overwhelmed by the city), and Remus would be somewhere in the middle. Maybe Remus would find the city more enjoyable, but he would feel safer and more at ease in the country (for obvious reasons).

Who got the most free drinks or pub snacks from Rosmerta?

James. For all his faults (of which there were MANY), I think he was probably very charming…

Who handled their drink the best?

I think Sirius. I imagine James could also drink a decent amount, but he would get sillay with it, whereas Sirius would just seem slightly less coordinated. It’s because one of them is drinking for fun and the other one is drinking to cope. Who said that. Speaking of, I think Remus would also partake in some self-destructive substance abuse post-Lily and James death

Who couldn’t handle their drink?

Boring answer but Peter. I think he would be such a lightweight, to the point that everyone thought he was faking it and that he was just trying to seem cool by acting drunker than he actually was, and everyone found it really annoying. And then like an hour into the party he would just fall asleep in the corner (and James and Sirius would write/draw profane things on his face)

Who gave the best romantic advice?

Remus but only by process of elimination. His advice was still not very good.

Who learned the patronus charm first?

I have to go with James… ugh. I think he is such a complicated character (as you may be able to tell from the fact that I write an essay every time he comes up). I have a really hard time reconciling how spoiled and nasty and cruel he was with the near-reverence with which Sirius and Remus speak of him, not to mention the fact that Lily eventually deemed him worthy of marriage, or that he died fighting honorably for the Order... He's a mess of contradictions. But because of all that, I imagine him as someone who was almost delusionally optimistic, with relentless confidence in himself to achieve the impossible (though this confidence was also kind of a cope, since I think his bullying of Snape points to some deep-seated insecurities). It takes an impressive amount of nerve to try to become an animagus at age twelve, and it takes an even more impressive amount of resolve to actually achieve it… Like, James was the type of guy to make impossible promises and then somehow manage to pull them off (at least, until he wasn’t). And I think this inability to be deterred was kind of infectious – deep down, all of the Marauders wanted to believe in themselves as much as James believed in himself (and to be fair, as much as James believed in them!) – and it was this magnetic personality that made him a such a big influence on his friends’ lives, even after his death. All that to say: I think James would be able to pull off the Patronus charm first out of sheer willpower alone

Who swears the most?

Sirius or James, I could go either way here... Sirius being super reserved and barely cursing as a result of his posh upbringing, or Sirius having a huge pottymouth because he’s rebelling against his posh upbringing... I could also see James swearing a lot, because my best explanation for his contradictory combination of awful personality + great politics is that Euphemia and Fleamont were rich old money hippies with overly lax parenting skills, and they would probably let their dearest baby boy curse up a storm at home. But I think the real answer to this question is Snape.

I suppose this excludes James, but we can swap him for Lily: who enjoyed watching Quidditch matches the most?

I think Peter. Though he would also be the most scared during Quidditch matches. Like he would be shrieking and ducking and covering his eyes and Sirius and Remus would be like “dude what’s wrong” and he’d be like “I thought James was gonna fall off his broom!” D: But his joy at Gryffindor winning, his pride in his talented Seeker friend who he looks up to (and let’s be real, likes being associated with), and perhaps most importantly, the feeling that he belongs to something larger than himself, a group of winners – yeah, he'd be into that. (Sidenote, this is why I think Remus wouldn’t really give a shit about Quidditch; he is incapable of seeing himself as someone who “belongs” to a group any larger than his close circle of friends. Not that he would never have moments of House pride, but they would most likely be brief and fleeting.) I could maybe see Sirius being into Quidditch too, if only for the competitive aspect, but I think it’s also possible that he could be rather indifferent about the whole affair. Maybe Sirius enjoyed Quidditch the most only if Gryffindor was beating the pants off of Slytherin (can I say that phrase or is it too similar to, well, you know…?). And Lily was probably just a casual Quidditch enjoyer imo, though I'm sure she enjoyed having an excuse to stare at James for a few hours when Gryffindor was playing.

Who had the coolest childhood bedroom? (This is very subjective, I know)

Honestly I don't think this is subjective at all because it's gotta be James, EASILY. Mommy and Daddy will buy him anything he asks for and they live in a gorgeous old manor. His room would have posters of famous Quidditch players flying nimbly through blue skies, hung up over ornate crimson wallpaper… a plush red and gold carpet over dark, lustrous wood floors… a huge window stretching almost to the tall ceiling, opening up to a lush garden, that he could leap out of on his broom whenever he pleased… oh my god, imagine his bedframe is gold and the headboard is like the three Quidditch hoops?! Yeah it’s James for sure

Who’s the most likely to be a good cook?

Maybe Sirius? Only because he canonically makes breakfast for the kids on Christmas morning? Hey, maybe he was cheffing it up for the Potters as a way to thank them for taking him in, who knows. I also like the idea of Lily being good at baking and bringing homemade cookies back to Hogwarts after every winter break (and of course, bringing some to Snape nearly every day of winter break).

Who’s good at fixing things?

I’m gonna go with Sirius because he’s a motorcycle guy. Idk, I could see him as someone who likes tinkering with things.

Who was always getting caught and who never got caught?

I mean, James was notorious for being a troublemaker, so I think he must have gotten caught a fair amount of times… And I think I have to say that it was Peter who never got caught, if only because it’s rather poetic.

Most likely to be a vegetarian?

I like to imagine Remus as a vegetarian because of my headcanon that one time as a kid he escaped from whatever werewolf containment he was in (I have sooo much more to say about the logistics of Remus’s parents dealing with his lycanthropy but hoo boy that’s another post) and in his excitement unknowingly killed a rabbit, and then he came to in the middle of the woods with blood all over his face and the taste of raw meat in his mouth and now he’s disgusted by meat <3. Though idk if that headcanon actually works because it still has to be true that werewolves don’t kill animals (otherwise that defeats the whole point of becoming animagi!). Idk werewolf lore is kind of fucked anyway (why does lycanthropy make Remus weak and ill but Greyback seems to be doing just fine?), so maybe I can chalk it up to erratic behavior as a result of being cooped up unnaturally, or because he was a baby werewolf so he was maybe just killing stuff out of curiosity, or maybe I don't even need a reason… idk. If this sounds bad just pretend I said James for hippie reasons and he’s always really annoying and pretentious about it

And no omg I do not think you are a creep, in fact I was watching some of my moots get these asks and I was like… sigh… I wonder if someone will send some to me… so thank you lol. Perhaps unsurprisingly I enjoy talking about the Thing I Like, and I am always happy to do so!!! (Even though sometimes it takes me awhile to respond.) And these questions in particular were really fun!

Thank you for the ask!

[squirrelxoxo]

IT'S AUTUMN!!! 🎉🎉🎉

In honour of the changing of the season I thought I'd give each of the marauders era characters a favourite season.

Remus:

Autumn. He'd love being able to wear his jumpers (not that you can't wear jumpers all year round in the north of Scotland) and the cozy vibe around autumn. He'd also secretly love all the werewolf jokes his friends make around Halloween.

Sirius:

Winter. The cold would make him feel alive. He would hate Summer because he'd have to spend it with his parents and he'd look forward to September when school starts but after he moved in with the Potters it became his favourite because he could spend all day with his best friend.

James:

Summer. It's sunny and warm like him. He'd definitely be missing his parents while at school so he'd love getting to see them. He'd also love Christmas so Winter too.

Peter:

Not a season exactly but October to January. You've got Halloween, Christmas and New year's and he would love the buzz going on around that time and the high spirits.

Lily:

Spring. She'd like the temperate weather and the flowers and baby animals. She'd also be looking forward to exams that she'd been studying for all year.

Marlene:

Summer. She'd hate school (just the lessons part not Hogwarts) and she'd love not having to do anything during the holidays. Would definitely come back to school with the most crazy stories.

Mary:

Summer. She lives for the sun. She'd also love Spring purely because it made Lily happy. She would definitely also appreciate the pretty clothes you can wear in Spring and Summer.

Dorcas:

Winter. It's cold and dark and she loves that. Would definitely stay at Hogwarts with Barty, Evan and Regulus who were trying to escape their parents and they would all just enjoy the peace and quiet together. Something about an empty castle would allure her.

Pandora:

Spring. Prime time for lying in the grass looking at clouds. Would make a daisy crown for all her friends, Barty would wear his constantly till it dies because it makes her happy and his Dad would die if he knew his kid was walking around with flowers in his hair.

Barty:

Autumn. The guy would be obsessed with Halloween. Evan and Regulus would come in on the first of October to see pumpkins everywhere, enchanted bats flying around and Halloween music playing quietly constantly (as much as Regulus and Evan tried they could never find where it's coming from). He'd also low-key love stepping on crunchy leaves.

Evan:

Autumn. Purely because Barty gets so excited about it. Otherwise he doesn't give a shit about what season it is so long as he doesn't have to go home. He'd also appreciate Pandora's daisy crowns in Spring and would have it on his bedside table.

Regulus:

Winter. Same reasons as Dorcas, it's cold, dark and the castle is empty. He'd also like stargazing in Winter more than the other seasons because he can see his star. He'd like Winter significantly less though when Sirius moved in with James and he'd start spending Christmas at the Potters' instead of staying at the castle.

[seaskate]

Remus

We all remember that scene in All The Young Dudes when Remus walks onto the train in his combat boots, with his short hair, and muggle clothes, looking every piece the teen that parents want their children away from. And we all know that it wasnt just a look, for a few summers Remus was that teen. He broke into places with the other boys from the boys home, smoked, got drunk and into fights (he got into fights even before then). This behavior even continued, in part, when he went back to school and started selling smokes to the other students and drank with the Marauders. He was punk and a lot of it came naturally, spurred on by the wolf inside of him. He only shoved it down in fifth year and beyond for the Marauders. He became the boy that wore sweaters and was deeply, incurably, in love with his best friend.

Now imagine if he had kept the style though, if he'd dressed like a muggle punk on the weekends, because what better way than to stick it to the blood purist than to be the embodiment of some many things that they hate. If he'd leaned a bit more into the wolf inside of him during those last few years, especially after "The Prank".

Everything probably would have still played out the same, I wont deny that. The Order still would have thought him a traitor for being a werewolf, maybe even more so for acting a bit more like one. And Remus still would have been hopelessly in love with Sirius and utterly destroyed when James and Lily died and Remus thought that Sirius'd had a hand in it. He still would have fallen into alcoholism and found his way back to Grant, and would have mellowed out over the years into the sweater wearing man that we know from the books. All the fight had left him after all when everyone else did.

But could you imagine the reaction of the few survivors (like Snape and Mcgonagall) that knew him back then when they see him agian? Sirius's reaction? Because I think it would be hilarious to see their reactions when Remus went seemingly from one end of the danger scale to the other.

It would have been sad too.

Having Remus be so punk for a time only to turn out the same tired man from the books, would be heartbreaking in a whole other way.

People tend to change things about themselves after something traumatic. Women cut their long hair short and guys change their personalities into someone that wouldn't have been hurt by what had so thoroughly torn them apart before.

I love the idea of it being shown in such a blatant way that cant be brushed aside by putting away the bottles just how destroyed Remus was after everything went to hell. I love the idea of it being as undeniable as the scars on Remus's skin. Maybe that's just me though.

[techhasmjolnir]

Fill in the Blank

The Bad Batch (all members) x GN! Reader

Plot: It's not too long after you and the boys rescue Omega from Kamino, and you're trying to lie low until the heat on all of you dies down. The forest moon of Endor is your current hideaway, and you're trying to kill time one night by playing a simple game...

Author's Notes:

I apologize in advance for this, because it's exceptionally stupid, and I absolutely love it. I came up with this after having a conversation about what kinds of games the Batch might enjoy, and I casually mentioned it would be hysterical to play the classic silly party game, Mad Libs, with them. There's not much action in this story as it's heavy on dialogue, so if that's not really your thing, you might want to skip this one. If you want complete brain rot, then this is for you.

Important Notes: This can be considered a (mostly) SFW story. The NSFW content could technically constitute profanity, sexually suggestive terms, and straight up gross descriptions...you know, the way Mad Libs is supposed to be played! There's also an admixture of words from the SW universe along with common words we use on Earth. Just getting that out there before someone has to leave a comment of, “that doesn't exist in Star Wars...” Shhhh. This is my story. Be quiet.

Nobody was exactly thrilled with Tech's suggestion to seek refuge on the forest moon of Endor, but after liberating Omega from Kamino, you were left with few options for sanctuary. With credits low and rations even lower, Hunter relented, and now you've been in seclusion for nearly a galactic week while waiting to hear from a fixer you knew on Ord Mantell. Having Omega with you complicated everything, and it was a rude awakening trying to adjust to her boundless energy, enthusiasm, and curiosity. You and the guys tried to keep her occupied, but it became a struggle very quickly.

You planted the suggestion of having a bonfire one night to break the monotony of always piling back into the Marauder at nightfall, in addition to providing some type of enrichment for Omega. Omega was especially excited because she had never experienced one before, and Wrecker offered immediately to go look for kindling – with Omega in tow. You hoped this would be relaxing for everyone and at least for awhile, help take their minds off the gravity of the situation. It didn't take long for them to locate an assortment of downed branches and a few dry logs, and in minutes, Wrecker had the fire going.

“Don't get too close, 'Meg,” Wrecker cautioned. “It's real easy to burn yourself, and then you'll look like me!”

“Wrecker, don't tease her like that,” Echo chided as he slid down to the ground and leaned against a decaying tree stump. “More like, don't frighten her.”

“I'm not scared!” Omega interjected as she went to sit beside Hunter, stretching out her arms and legs, basking in the radiant heat. “I'll stay right here by Hunter, where it's safe.”

“It is safe everywhere as long as you stay close to us, Omega. For now, please try and relax,” Tech called as he emerged from theMarauder with datapad in hand, tapping on it as he sat down next to you, Crosshair on your other side.

“I see you didn't bring the spotchka with you, Tech,” you said with amusement as you nudged his shoulder. “Yes, I know all about the stash you guys have onboard. It's an unspoken rule that having a campfire means you're supposed to do at least a little imbibing. Maybe tell a few stories, dare people to do stupid things... You know, unwind and have fun.”

“Might I ask how you knew about –”

“It doesn't matter, Tech. I'll go get it. After the events of the past week, I think we could all use a drink,” Crosshair interrupted as he stood up and disappeared into the ship, and returned with not one, but several bottles cradled in his arms, and a small stack of cups balanced carefully in one hand.

Hunter glared at him disapprovingly, then looked down at Omega's small form nestled against him as if to say, “Really? In front of the kid?”

“What? One's for me and you can split the rest,” Crosshair said as he tossed a bottle to Wrecker and set the other down by you and Tech, then returned to his spot, not bothering to use a cup in favor of taking a long swig straight from the bottle.

“Well, I would say 'cheers,' but since there's not much to cheer about, how about “here's to surviving another day,” you said a little more solemnly than you intended as you raised your cup, the the rest of them following suit.

Silence reigned uncomfortably for awhile as you all started to loosen up, all the anxiety and tension leaching out with each mouthful of spotchka. You caught yourself staring across the fire at Hunter and Omega, his arm curled around her protectively. Shadows danced across her tiny face as she grew mesmerized by the way the flames licked at the firewood, and memories of you as a child sitting around fires with your friends flooded your mind. Then it dawned on you that there was a game you always used to play with them on nights like these that never failed to leave all of you exhausted from laughing.

“All right, this feels too much like a funeral, boys. This is not what having a fire is supposed to be like,” you said as you put down your cup. “I have something that should significantly lighten the mood.” You got up and everyone turned to watch you dash off to the ship, wondering what you were up to. When you returned, you held a few small books, a pen, and some water for Omega.

“Ta-da! I just remembered I had these. I keep them on hand for cheap entertainment during those long, boring hyperspace trips, when browsing the HoloNet won't suffice.”

“Hm? What do you have there?” Tech asked, adjusting his goggles as he tried to read the title of the topmost book.

“This,” you said triumphantly, “is only the greatest party game to ever exist. It's a classic on my homeworld, and I think you all might really like it. It's a word game—”

Wrecker groaned, then downed the rest of his spotchka. “A word game? That doesn't sound fun at all.”

“You didn't let me finish! This is a game for people who don't like games,” you said, purposely turning to look at Crosshair, who shrugged at you. You looked over at Wrecker and continued, “One person picks a story that has certain words omitted, and they don't tell the players what it's about. Instead, the players are asked to provide words to fill in the blank spaces in the story. When the story is finished, it's read back to the players and then they discover just how hilarious, shocking, gross, or just plain stupid their creation is. Sound like something you'd be interested in?”

“Well...when you put it like that...it doesn't sound so bad,” Wrecker replied as he poured himself another round. “Tech, you would be good at this.”

“Oh...there's just a few things you need to know before we do this,” you added. “I kind of made up my own rules with how to play, and I make it mandatory that you are to make your ideas as weird, vulgar, or...suggestive as possible. It's sort of tradition at this point.”

“Which means it's bedtime, Omega,” Hunter said. “This doesn't sound like this would be an appropriate game for you.”

“No, Hunter, please let me stay! I don't want to go to bed!” Omega protested as she stood up and brushed off her tunic, looking down at Hunter with the best pout she could muster.

“Let the kid stay, Hunter. She's been coddled enough,” Crosshair rasped after taking another long pull of spotchka. “Besides, she might come up with something better than any of us.”

“All right, fine. But if things get too out of hand, you're going to bed, Omega, and that's it,” Hunter sighed.

“That is such a dad response,” you snickered, not aware of the glare Hunter shot back at you. “All right, we're getting distracted, here. Are you guys in or out?” You started flipping through one of the books to find something that would be an easy introduction.

“I think we're in... Omega looks like she's about to launch out of excitement,” Echo chuckled.

“Good, because I've picked one out that's quite relevant. Do I need to go over the parts of speech, or is everyone set? Honestly, I think I might be more excited than Omega,” you laughed. “It's been a long time since I last played this. One thing before we begin – I don't usually ask each person individually for a word. You can all say whatever comes to mind, and I'll use the one I like best. Oh, Tech...before I forget...”

Tech turned to you with a quizzical expression on his face. “Forget what? It appears you have everything you will need, at least for the moment.”

“Remember what I said about making the stories as messed up as possible? That means I'm putting you on notice that you are going to have to offer up ideas that are completely tasteless.”

Crosshair spluttered and coughed violently, nearly choking on his spotchka. When he recovered, he started laughing so hard, you thought he was going to mess himself. “Tech speaking like a reg?! I'll believe it when I hear it! We heard him swear ONCE back when we were cadets, and we never heard him do it again.”

“I told those other cadets not to touch that droid, if you recall. It was their own fault what happened to them,” Tech replied huffily. He sighed and then looked at you. “Do I have to?” he asked, not sounding thrilled. “I do not prefer using crass language if at all possible.”

“Yes, you have to. Otherwise we are all going to goad you mercilessly all night until you do. Be a good sport, Tech. I promise it won't tarnish your reputation or insult your intelligence if you let slip a little vulgarity, okay?”

“Come on, Tech, play along and live a little,” Wrecker said as he gulped down the last of his drink, belching pleasurably and grinning at Omega, who was giggling helplessly.

“Okay, here we go. If anyone needs me to explain what a certain part of speech is, just stop me. For the first prompt, I need a plural noun.”

“Are you referring to common or proper nouns?” Tech asked. “We will require clarity before providing adequate responses.”

“Common noun, Tech. Proper nouns will be described specifically, like “a city,” or “name of person.” Stuff like that. So, guys...and Omega. What do you have? Don't be afraid to just say whatever comes to mind. That's the whole point of this game.”

It was silent for a moment until Crosshair chimed in a little too gleefully with, “street whores!”

Echo spit out his mouthful of spotchka and started coughing, while the others turned to look over at Crosshair, who had a complete shit-eating grin on his face. You, however, started laughing silently, already noting the story was destroyed with just one entry completed. Omega started giggling again and you couldn't tell if she was doing it because of Echo, or because of what Crosshair said. Your suspicions were confirmed when she leaned in and asked, “Hunter, what's a street whore?”

“I'll...tell you when you're older, kid,” he replied as he kneaded his temples, knowing by the end of the night he was going to have a massive headache, and not from the spotchka.

“Street whores, it is!” you confirmed, this time audibly laughing as you wrote it down. “For the next one, I need an adjective.” Wrecker and Omega looked at you blankly, and you added, “adjectives describe something or someone. For instance, “quiet.” As in, “Tech is being quiet.”

“Horny!” Crosshair blurted out, and this time the rest of the guys started laughing, because they finally caught on to how they were supposed to play.

“Crosshair, you're pretty good at this. Are you sure you haven't played this before?” you chuckled.

“No, but I understand the assignment better than the others, evidently. Come on, what's the next one?”

“Another plural noun. Omega, why don't you give it a shot? Don't let Crosshair have all the fun,” you encouraged.

She tapped her bottom lip and looked up at Hunter, who shook his head. You all waited patiently for her, and you saw her perk up before cheerfully offering, “pleasure droids!”

Hunter looked down wide-eyed at Omega, who was supremely proud of herself for coming up with an answer, even if she had no idea what it was she just said. He buried his face in his hands, shaking his head lightly, a muffled “what have I done” the only thing he could say.

“Pleasure...droids...” you repeated slowly, scribbling it down and inwardly laughing. “This might seem repetitive, but the next two entries are both adjectives. Are the rest of you going to play, or are Crosshair and Omega going to dominate this story?”

“Uhhhh...salacious?” Echo said with a hint of uncertainty. He looked over at Wrecker, who was deep in thought, scratching at his bald head idly.

“I have one, but...I don't know if I should say it,” Wrecker said sheepishly.

“Out with it, Wrecker. We don't have all night,” Crosshair grumbled as he peered down the neck of the bottle of spotchka, already half drained.

“Is “erotic” okay?”

You started snickering and jotted it down, trying to ignore the jeering laughter of the others over Wrecker's hesitance and inexperience. “Guys, shut the hell up, will you? At least he's trying, and for what it's worth, it works really well in the story. Now for something different, I need a regular old noun. Tech, why don't you give me something this time? You're too quiet and it's bugging me.”

“Why my silence is disconcerting to you, I do not know. I simply do not feel the need to—”

“Tech...” you warned.

He turned to look at you and it was always so evident he was plotting something because his eyes always narrowed in determination with a hint of mischievousness behind them – like right then. “While I will not indulge you with vulgarity at this moment, I will give you something that will likely surprise you, given that it is coming from me. My answer?” You watched as he cocked an eyebrow and smirked at you. “Anal probe.”

You blinked uncomprehendingly for a few moments, then came back with, “I'm sorry, but did you just say 'anal probe?'”

Everyone erupted into laughter and Tech nodded, a wry little smile on his face. “I think you will find this will be a satisfactory addition to the story, if my assumptions are correct. Please continue, for I am now most eager to hear the outcome.”

You couldn't think of a smart-ass retort as you wrote down his answer, now knowing you should never underestimate Tech's deviance ever again. Waiting to speak until everyone got themselves under control, you scanned the page and realized you're barely halfway through it and this story is fucked up. “Alright, guys, let's focus. The next one says 'person in room (last name),' but I'm the only one with a last name here, and we're not using it. So technically, I'll need the last names of two people for the next two entries.”

“This one's easy,” all eyes on Hunter as he finally spoke up. “Skywalker, and Kenobi.”

“Not bad! Not bad at all, although I wouldn't have been surprised if you had said Skywalker, and Amidala. Speaking of, didn't you guys use to have her as—”

“Uh, we don't like to bring that up. In fact, never mention this again,” Hunter cut you off, waving his hand in the universal sign of “zip it” while looking at Omega.

“Duly noted,” you replied as you penned in the next two entries. “Next up is a place, followed by another last name of a person.”

“79's!”

“Hoth!”

“The 'fresher?”

“Mos Eisley!”

“All right, everyone, enough! Omega, loved your idea about the 'fresher, but I think we're gonna go with Echo on this one, with Mos Eisley. What about the last name? You're on a roll now, so keep it going!”

A bunch of names were thrown out there, from Dooku to Chuchi, Windu to Palpatine. All of a sudden Crosshair piped up with, “Dickhead.” All chatter stopped and everyone looked over at him. “You heard me. That was what the other cadets and I always called that old sniping instructor we had. Couldn't stand that sack of sh—”

“Crosshair, enough,” Hunter said. “We'll be lucky if Omega doesn't pick up that particular habit.”

You cleared your throat loudly to get their attention, trying your hardest not to laugh. “Excellent choice, Crosshair. That fits...uh, perfectly?” You covered your face as you lost it, shaking in silent mirth, only stopping once Tech put his hand on your shoulder to see if you were all right. Wiping away tears, you gave them their next prompts. “Make these two REALLY good, okay? I need a part of the body, and a type of liquid.”

The amount of raucous laughter among the boys meant only one thing, and that it was obvious they were going to give you the most childish answers possible. When no one spoke up, you looked around and were met with sly grins. “Well? I'm waiting... I mean, if you're going the route I think you are, then I'll just write both words down right now and we'll move on,” you said, tapping your pen on the page. “All right, 'cock' it is for the body part, and cu—”

Hunter coughed loudly and you looked over to see him with his hands covering Omega's ears, although it didn't stop the girl from giggling while squirming and grabbing at Hunter's hands, trying to pry them off.

From an unlikely source came the response to your question. “Bantha piss!” Echo called out as he started laughing again, hiding his face in his hands.

“Hey, not bad, Echo! I like it! Random question – and I ask because I feel like there's probably a backstory here – but what gave you that idea?”

Crosshair sat up straight as an arrow, looking over at Echo and throwing invisible daggers at him. “Don't do it, Echo, I mean it. We agreed no one had to find out about that.”

Echo didn't have a chance to reply because Wrecker spoke up and spilled the beans. “What? You mean when we had that mission on Tatooine and you got too close to one, and then it let loose all over you? That was disgusting. You smelled for days after that!”

“Yes, thank you for reminding everyone,” Crosshair growled, returning to the bottle for a quick gulp. “Remind me to kill you later, Wrecker.”

“Children, please behave,” you teased as you turned to look at Crosshair, who was still beet red from embarrassment with a look of “if YOU fucking tell anyone else about this, I will end you” all over his face. “We're close to being done, so for the next few, I need an article of clothing, pluralized. I also need an example of a relative. As in, familial relations.” You looked over at Tech, answering the question before he could ask it.

To your surprise, Hunter provided the next piece, although he made sure he was still covering Omega's ears before he spoke. “G-strings,” he said, a crooked grin spreading over his rugged features. His hands let go of Omega and it took a moment before everyone burst out laughing again, with the poor kid looking very confused as to what was so funny.

“Okay, I'm just going to throw this out there,” you replied as you jotted down Hunter's answer. “Next chance we get, we need to find a babysitter for Omega and then get to the nearest strip joint, because you guys are dropping a LOT of hints...”

Omega tugged on Hunter's sleeve, and he dreaded what she was going to ask. “Hunter, what's a strip joint? And why couldn't I go with you?”

Hunter groaned and rolled his eyes as he reached for his cup and took a long sip. “That's another “I'll tell you when you're older” thing, Omega. “It's not something for kids.”

“Oi, what are we supposed to pick for a relative? We don't really have relatives since we're clones,” Wrecker asked, trying to get everyone on task again.

“Irrelevant, Wrecker. Just because we do not have relatives, so to speak, does not mean you cannot choose from the list of common terms for a family's hierarchy,” Tech offered. “Although...given the way this story appears to be trending, it could be quite amusing to supply a word that is not entirely accurate. Would this be acceptable?”

“Fine by me. Just give me something so we can put this baby to bed. The anticipation's starting to kill me,” you replied.

“In that case, I would like to assist. Would 'sperm donor' suffice?”

You looked over at him, your eyebrow raised in momentary confusion. “Tech, what the hell?! Did you just...?”

He chuckled and nodded only once, shooting you a knowing wink as he brought his cup to his mouth, taking a delicate sip.

“All right, I see what you did there. Quite ingenious, might I add. However, we don't need...or want any more details,” you added, waving your open hand flippantly, cutting Tech off before he had a chance to offer up any justification. “Okay, just three more, and we're finally done. By the Maker, I feel like I'm going to have crippling anxiety after all this.”

“Give it six months,” Crosshair snickered. “You haven't been with us long enough to have developed it so soon. Now, what's left? I'm low on patience...and spotchka, it appears,” he said as he swirled the near-empty bottle around.

“Uhhh, let's see. I need a piece of furniture, a verb ending in “ing,” and one last adjective.”

Thankfully, you didn't need to wait because the responses started flying.

“Couch!” “Wrecker, that's stupid. What about “inflatable bed?”

“That's not any better, Echo. Now what's stupid?!”

“TOILET!” Omega shouted as she tried to make herself heard in the growing din.

“A toilet's not a piece of furniture, kid. Where did you come up with that?” Hunter laughed incredulously.

“I have got it!” Tech exclaimed, everyone immediately shutting up, all eyes trained on him as he looked around, that devious smile of his returning. He turned to you and you knew this was going to be good. By good, you knew it would be hysterical, considering the source. “Queening chair,” he proclaimed with a smirk.

Crosshair's jaw dropped so low it was almost on the ground. This time, you had no idea what Tech was talking about, and at the moment, you really didn't want an explanation, either. “A what, Tech? Judging by that look you're giving me, it's something indecent, isn't it?”

“Extremely. You should go ask the queen of Naboo about hers,” Crosshair muttered once he collected himself.

“That rumor is entirely unfounded, Crosshair,” Tech shot back, rolling his eyes. “Unless there's something you're not telling us?”

“Not now, you two. I think we've wasted more time talking and arguing than actually trying to play this game,” Hunter shot back. He looked down at Omega, searching for any sign she was tired and needed to go to bed. Much to his chagrin, she was more wide awake than ever. “You wanna do the next one, kid? You know what a verb is, right? It's an action word, like 'run' or 'jump.' But for this one, make sure you add 'ing' at the end,” he instructed, making sure to pronounce the syllable for her instead of spelling it out.

She nodded and carefully processed that information, everyone opting to stay quiet to let her think. What came out of her next would go on to become a treasured recording in Tech's archives and the subject of nostalgic stories for years to come.

“Fucking!” she declared happily, once more completely oblivious as to what she'd just said.

For a moment you thought the guys were going to pass out, especially Hunter, whose expression was somewhere between shock and severe indigestion. “Where...where did...who taught you that?!” he said hoarsely, grabbing his cup and swallowing the last of its contents before reaching for the bottle to slop more into it.

“Crosshair did! He says it all the time,” Omega replied. “Hunter? Are you okay? You look kind of...sick.”

Hunter sighed and rubbed his eyes, his look of shock replaced with quiet resignation, followed by a menacing glare in Crosshair's direction. “Why am I not surprised? Crosshair, you know kids are like sponges! What the f—”

That's all it took to break the sniper as he dissolved into uncontrollable laughter, all of you following suit thereafter. This time, no one was able to recompose themselves. Wrecker clapped Hunter forcefully on the back, almost propelling him into the fire as tears of merriment streamed down his face. Echo was laid out flat on his back, hands over his face as he shook silently. You looked through blurry eyes over at Crosshair, who had sunk down to the ground clutching his ribs as he gasped for breath, the sight of which made you laugh even harder. Tech was doubled over, one hand on your shoulder to steady himself as another paroxysm of laughter overtook him. Omega's high-pitched shrieks of glee were by far the best thing you heard tonight, her joy and spirit exceptionally infectious.

Minutes passed before you all eventually calmed down and you were about to put pen to paper when you realized what the context of the story would be if you put in Omega's idea as is...and it was beyond inappropriate in a really bad way. Time for an immediate course correction.

“Oh, uhh...oh boy,” you said hesitantly. “Um...I normally don't do this, but I have to add another word to this so it doesn't turn into something completely morally reprehensible.”

Tech stopped cleaning his goggles, which he had taken off to wipe at his eyes. “I do not understand. What could be so—”

“Trust me, you don't want to know. You'll figure it out when I read this back.” You jotted something down and then reached down for the bottle of spotchka to drink deeply, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “Captain Adverb to the rescue, thank the Maker. This is it, guys...one last word. All I need is an adjective. You got this?”

“Bring it on!” Wrecker said boisterously, waving the spotchka bottle around, nearly clipping Hunter in the back of the head with it.

Since Omega opened the door for it, no one bothered watching their language now as they threw out all sorts of outlandish ideas, none of them quite what you felt were funny enough to close out the story. Tech had gone quiet again, and you knew he had something up his sleeve. You looked over at him and that evil little grin was back.

“You advised me earlier that I needed to provide some kind of suggestive or vulgar response, correct?”

“Out with it, Tech. I know you've got something good cooking upstairs.”

“I thought that was obvious. I deduced that answers with...creative...terms involving body parts seem to be the most entertaining for all of you. Therefore, I would like to offer my response.”

“Tech, just say it! Why do you have to be so difficult?!” Crosshair griped as he quaffed the last of his spotchka.

Tech rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, solidly ignoring Crosshair's jab. “For your consideration, I would like to give you an adjective that is most...” He paused, trying to be dramatic in his own way as he looked around, seeing everyone waiting on him. “...Rectally stimulating.”

You looked down at the story for a moment, and realizing what that did to the context of it made you drop your pen on the ground. Immediately, both hands came to your face as you broke into helpless, muffled laughter.

“Tech, you'd better not have ruined the story,” Wrecker said accusingly.

You pulled your hands away from your face and sniffled as you rubbed your eyes and shook your head. “He didn't ruin anything, Wrecker. In fact, he provided the absolute perfect finish. Now, hold onto something, because— Wrecker, you can let go of Hunter...that was a figure of speech. Anyway, may I present to you a most entertaining narrative, called 'CAMPFIRE STORIES.'”

“Are you serious? That's a little on the nose, don't you think?” Crosshair groaned.

“Of course I chose this one on purpose! Now, check this out.” You made a production out of loudly clearing your throat, taking a deep breath and exhaling forcefully.

“It is always fun to chop up some street whores and use them to build a horny campfire. Then you get all of the pleasure droids to sit around the fire and tell scary stories. You can tell about Ichabod Crane, the salacious schoolteacher of Sleepy Hollow and his erotic adventures with the headless anal probe. Or you can tell “The Fall of the House of Skywalker,” which was written by Edgar Allen Kenobi. Or you can tell about vampires from Mos Eisley, like the terrible Count Dickhead, who bit people on the cock and drank their bantha piss. By this time, many of the young campers will start shaking in their G-strings and begin yelling for their sperm donor and go hide under the queening chair. Believe me, when it comes to fucking up a bunch of kids, there's nothing like a real rectally stimulating ghost story.”

*****

As you expected, the aftermath of reading that story was nothing short of utter chaos. Crosshair ended up laughing so hard, he disappeared somewhere into the darkness to vomit as quietly as he could before stumbling back to the ship. The others excused themselves quickly, still laughing as they almost tripped over each other in their haste as they made a mad dash back to the Marauder, leaving you and Omega behind wondering what just happened.

After everyone cleared out, you started hearing noises back in the forest that almost sounded like chittering laughter. Omega heard it too, and came to sit by you, pressing herself into your side as you wrapped your arm around her. A chill ran down your spine when you were sure you heard something rustling back in the undergrowth, and you didn't even have so much as your vibroblade with you for protection.

“Guys...please hurry! I think there's something out here!” you purposely yelled, hoping if there was some kind of animal lurking around, you would scare it away.

“I don't like this,” Omega whispered, nudging herself up so close to you, it felt like she was trying to crawl under your skin. “When are my brothers coming back?”

You did your best to try and keep her calm, squeezing her tightly. “I don't know, sweetheart, but stay calm. It'll be okay. Hunter should be back any moment now.”

As if on cue, the guys came filing back in with Hunter in the lead, his blaster drawn. “I heard you yelling. Did you see anything? Are you all right?”

“We're fine, but we definitely heard something that sounded like laughing, and like something walking around dangerously close to the camp site. Scared the shit of out of Omega and me. What took you guys so long?”

Then you noticed that Hunter wasn't wearing his blacks – he was wearing his sleep clothing, and as Wrecker and the others stepped closer to the fire, you could see the same thing, in varying configurations. No one was wearing what they previously had on, and then it dawned on you what happened. This would be a memory forever burned into your mind: the night when a ridiculous story made five grown men soil themselves from laughing.

You decided to spare them the embarrassment of asking why they changed clothes, and as Tech retook his spot next to you, he leaned close and whispered, “thank you for not asking the obvious...that would be a source of embarrassment that we would not want to try to explain to Omega.”

“I'll take this to the grave with me, Tech. Not a word.” You picked up one of the books and held it aloft, shaking it lightly. “Now...do I dare ask if you guys want to do another one? Someone else can write this time, because I want to play and show you how an old pro does this.”

Omega finally loosened her death grip on you and got up, going to Wrecker who gently picked her up, letting her settle in his arms as Tech reached over and took one of the books and your pen. “I would like to pick one, if it is quite all right.” He flipped through the pages and stopped as he found a blank story. “Yes...this will do nicely. Everyone, your first entry must be a plural noun.”

You stretched out your arms and cracked your knuckles, chuckling softly. “Two words, boys. Edible thongs.”

[jamesunderwater]

1. Tell us why you like James Potter! I want a whole essay please and thank you!

"Why I Love Like James Potter" by jamesunderwater 1/27/24 

So, I think an important context for my feelings about James Potter is that (as you know) I am a fandom elder. Which means, I already had an extreme attachment to James Potter and his pals before we ever even got the Snape’s Worst Memory chapter. I just looked it up, and somehow I was only ten when OotP came out, so evidently I was massively in love with Sirius Black and obsessed with the Marauders before I hit double digits. (Jesus, no wonder they’re molded with my identity.) The point being – before he was anything else to me, James Potter was the man who bravely sacrificed himself for his family, whose core feature was defined by Sirius’s declaration that they “would have died rather than betray their friends.” He was the guy who figured out how to become an animagus just to be a supportive friend, and based on the few lines that the Marauders have through the Map in PoA, he was hilarious. And really, the fandom kinda just took that and ran with it. So by the time OotP came out and we got so much more information on him – and his dynamic with Lily (cue me sighing dreamily here) – James Potter was already a venerated figure in my mind. -- OMG I just had a buried memory pop up of the Harry Potter Trading Cards as well, which, I don’t think I had one / there was one for James, but there was one for Lily, where she was holding toadspawn?? Or something? and I was in love with her just based on her cute face and red hair and bright eyes, so obviously I’m gonna also be infatuated with the guy who got to marry her.

Okay I got a bit off the point. 

I guess reflecting on it, the way I fell in love with James as a character was very different than how I did for Sirius, and it’s in part due to Sirius being alive in the books, but also speaks to who James is, too. I fell in love with Sirius for who Sirius is, all by himself. I fell in love with James for who he is with other people. I loved the guy who would do anything for his friends. I loved the guy who had this magnetic dynamic with the fiery redhead. I loved the guy who was brilliant and loved by all, and didn’t think twice about sacrificing himself for his family. And I think that this has, for the most part, remained the core of why I love him. 

But of course, I’ve grown up a lot since then, and so have my feelings and opinions. 

– intermission to say I looked back at the ask and realized it only asks about why I like the character, which…somehow changes some of my answer, but we’re gonna try to roll them together – 

Okay, so why I both like and love James as a character now has a lot more to do with the nuances of him. I love that he isn’t perfect. He’s multi-dimensional, and I think his character is a great opportunity to investigate growing up. I think that progression is harder to see in some of the other characters (I have thoughts on why but they aren’t the point right now), but James is just this splendid example of how someone can be so fundamentally good, and also be a fucking kid. He’s messy and that doesn’t make him any less of a “hero” or a “good guy,” but not in your traditional anti-hero or villain arc kind of way. I dunno, maybe it’s in part because I relate to this feeling of not always being a “good person” growing up. I could be arrogant, and mean, and over-dramatic, and stubborn, but people still saw me as a good, likable person, and eventually I did grow out of a lot of the harsher aspects of those characteristics. I love that James gives permission for that, to inspect the dualities within people. 

And on a basic level, I think he was kind of the picture of everything I wanted to have and be. His physical looks / physique is what I’ve been drawn to in men, and eventually realized it’s what I wanted to look like myself; he has this found family that he’s built that is truly a family, this best friend who accepts him fully and he accepts fully and they’re attached at the hip; he becomes a person deserving of and complementary to a strong, independent, kind woman; and his kid is Harry Potter, who truly is one of my favorite characters of all time. So. 

I dunno, I feel like this isn’t as eloquent as I wanted it to be… I’d be very curious to hear other people’s thoughts added onto this (yours and others’!) because I know there’s so much more that I’m missing that other people would say. 

I got to nearly 850 words, though, so hopefully this essay is sufficient enough to earn me a B, at least.

[Submitting for Extra Credit: Photo of the frogspawn card from the Harry Potter Trading Card Game]

[chaoticree]

Marauders - Hunger Games AU

"Regulus Black," Lily Potter called out over the microphone. Her voice carried through the air. Regular was still as a stone beside Sirius. Sirius watched a single bead of sweat roll down his temple and closed his eyes.

He counted to ten to even out his breath. He'd already made the decision last night. If Regulus was picked, he'd volunteer himself. It was the right thing to do.

He took another deep breath and held his hand up

"A volunteer, huh? How exciting." Lily purred into the microphone. Her green eyes filled with mischief traveled over Sirius and then Regulus, who was staring at Sirius with huge eyes. Sirius didn't spend too much time picking apart the emotions in Reggies eyes. Guilt and relief being the most apparent. He wondered how long it would take for Reggie to get over this guilt if Sirius died in the games. He wanted to assure his brother it wasn't his fault and it was a decision Sirius took on his own. He wanted to calm Reggie down but there wasn't enough time. He could savor it by trying to memorize every detail of Reggies face but this guilt ridden Regulus was not what Sirius wanted to remember him as so he looked away.

"Sirius-" Regulus began but Sirius pushed his shoulder and stopped him from saying anything. No need to make this any more soppier than it already was. Though he doubted anyone gave a damn about him to even shed a single tear, but still, he had some reputation to maintain. Blacks were known for being emotionless. He'd do his parents this one last favor and not embarrass them by having a mental breakdown during the reaping. Besides, Sirius was sure everyone would shed tears of joy and be all happy that the family disappointment was finally being taken care of and that too without getting their own hands dirty.

"Look after yourself, Reggie. Don't let anyone make you miserable, okay?"

"Sirius no–" Regulus attempted to grab his arm but their time had run out, the guards were already there, dragging Sirius away and he closed his eyes. No tears. No emotions. He wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction of knowing what he was feeling. They can all assume whatever the fuck they wanted and gossip about it all they want over tea or dinner. He didn't care. Reggie was safe and that was all that mattered. He'll get to live. He'll get to do everything that Sirius wouldn't be able to and that's okay, Reggie deserved this much.

He was harshly pulled out of his thoughts when Lily cackled sharply beside him. His brain felt too big for his head to carry and felt like there was foam filled inside. She looked at him and for a second there was an emotion in her eyes before it was replaced with nothingness again. A smooth facade, fake manic smile and sharp eyes took over.

He didn't even realize someone was standing beside him. No more like towering over him. The first thing he noticed were the scars on his face, and he took a staggering step back. The guy curled inwards and started to drop the hand he held for Sirius to shake when Lily stepped forward and pushed Sirius's hand in the other boys. She smiled at them, but it was evident that the smile was a threat. 'Behave,' she said with expressions alone, and Sirius sighed.

The boy let go of his hand and went to stand on Lily's other side. Lily grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her. They stood facing the crowd as the anthem blared all around them. Sirius tried to find Regulus's familiar face in the crowd but it was too packed and he hoped in his heart that whatever expression he was wearing would be enough to ease some of Regulus's guilt.

As soon as the anthem ended, both him and the other boy were quickly ushered off the stage. Within seconds there were guards surrounding them as they sped past everyone and made a beeline towards the justice building.

A peacekeeper entered with Regulus in tow. Sirius jumped up and quickly loved towards him.

“You have 3 minutes!” The peacekeeper barked and left.

Tears pooled in Regulus's eyes. His hands shook as he tried to grab and hold onto Sirius's shirt.

Sirius just pulled him in for a hug. He knew that Regulus hated being vulnerable. Sirius didn't deserve his vulnerability. He sure as fuck didn't deserve his tears but seeing as this might be the last time they get to meet, he held his tongue and let himself get a little soppy.

“Hey,” he said, trying to keep his tone as even as possible. His heart was thudding inside his chest and he wondered if Regulus could hear it, could feel it.

“It'll be okay. Don't worry. You'll be okay. I'll be okay. Everything will be okay.”

Regulus shook his head.

“Try and win. You can win.” He said, pulling away from Sirius and looking at him. Sirius hated him for this. He hated him for expecting this from him. He hated him for feeling guilty and for being vulnerable now. But more than that, he knew he'd miss his little brother.

“Maybe,” Sirius whispered and the hope in Regulus's eyes was enough to spark something in his own heart, a small flame of conviction lighted. He tried to squash it down but it was difficult when Regulus was looking at him like that. He hated him. He loved him.

Regulus pulled out the black family heirloom and pinned it to Sirius's shirt, right above his heart. Sirius almost wanted to scoff. If his grandfather knew that his precious heirloom was being given to the sodden and ill mannered grandson of his, he'd have a stroke.

“To keep u safe,” Regulus whispered and stepped back. Sirius nodded, hoping his expression wouldn't betray him and give away everything he was feeling right now.

The peacekeeper entered again. “It's time,” he said. Regulus turned without another word and left with him. The door slammed shut behind him and Sirius took a deep breath.

With monumental effort, Sirius turned away from the door and made his way to the window. He wanted to run away. He doubted he would make it past the door.