#this took me no joke 11 hours to do it was like 3 for writing and the rest was making gifs with a dinner break in between

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Happy Birthday David Dastmalchian 🎂🎉🎁🎈

To celebrate, I'm stealing borrowing from my friend's @polkadotjohnson amazing idea of making a Top 10 Loved/Hottest roles of his, with an honourable mention for both~ Here's 30 of my most adored characters of his with little snippets for each, it's a looooong read, and if anyone else wants to make their own, here's a tierlist I made for this exact purpose 💗💗💗

10.

💘 Love of my Life - Dr Fearless

My cringefail boyfriend, I love every single headcanon I hear about him. He was so damn cute even before I fell in love, and now every time I see him I start giggling and kicking my feet lol 😚 I adore how much fun DD has with him, and honestly I’m gunna dress as a vampire for Halloween this year /)w(\ been like 20+ years but I really really wanna do it!

🔥 Hottest Role - Whistling Marauder (Bird Box)

Mother of mercy. We rewatched the whole movie just for him, so naturally he shows up near the end and then died ;w; but that outfit, holy hell. Oh my god. I’m such a sucker for bad boys and this guy is going around forcing people to stare at this eldrich being that’ll destroy you or drive you mad. And he looks goddamn great while doing it. Gunna attach myself to the chain on his jeans. Okay I’m normal again, what a way to start off the list lmao

❣️ Honourable Mention - Luke (Singled Out)

Douchebag. Shitty brother who’s also great if only to save his own ass. Thief. Pure idiot. Irresistible. I knew the moment I saw the clips on youtube that he would so be my type, and seeing the full pilot only proved that. Dude picked a burger over getting his sister, he would treat me so wrong half the time, but then he’d make me waffles and it’d be all better 😊

9.

💘 Love of my Life - The Writer (Making Love)

This one breaks my heart so much. I’ve been in a relationship like this before, and I really want to save him from his. He’s beautiful, he’s talented, his outfit is hot as hell with all the rings and bracelets and necklaces, not to mention the undone shirt buttons, he’s got the emo bangs, he is the complete package for me. The only reason he isn’t higher is because I fell for many others first. I almost never watched this one because my brain was going haywire trying to imagine what kinda scenes I’d find in something with a title like that, and sure enough my face was so red the entire time since I watched with headphones and it starts with him whispering right in my ear, like him asking, ‘Do you love me?’ nearly made me cry, I love him so much. If I could bring specifically him to life I would love the hell outta him until he stopped needing such a painful, self-destructive fake love with the Woman QwQ

❣️ Honourable Mention - Nick (Love is an Elevator)

This one is just a silly little guy /)w(\ right from the start he’s so adorable, I would melt if anything even close to his interaction happened to me, and him just swooning and saying she was beautiful before bailing in tears is so me-coded TwT I would love to go out on a date with him!

🔥 Hottest Role - Abra Kadabra (The Flash)

Abra was so tricky to place because I love him, but as soon as I remembered his buckle outfit from his second episode I knew he had to go under Hot. Like, again, I’m so weak. I love his attitude, I love how he just wants that applause for his showmanship, his ‘powers’ are cool as hell, and DD has the wand in his home now and I think that’s so damn cool 😊 The reveal with him wanting to bring back his alternate timeline family was so sweet I almost cried, and he definitely didn’t deserve to be killed out so instantly right after his redemption. Not even a fan/watcher of the show, but in my head I’m having Flash warn him about it since he’s from the future, so he’s fine now 😌

8.

💘 Love of my Life - James Lewis (Teacher)

James was also incredibly difficult to place because I love him so much ;w; The entire movie I was rooting for him, guy did nothing wrong in the face of what was going on around him, and granted he did take things too far, but… villains are hot 😳 so I won through that entire movie. And he lived! And kept getting to teach! I remember I pointed at the screen when he was putting books away cause that’s my job lol I felt truly close to him in that short moment 😂 Anyway, Arabella didn’t deserve him, like she wasn't into it from the moment they met, every single time he talked she would do this 😬 guy was going through hell and was very clearly in a bad place all around, I can’t fault him for drunkenly saying the wrong thing if it were me, even if it did really hurt me. Gunna give him a new wedding ring to put on when he gets outta prison.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Hector (Premature)

He’s so cute!!! I may be weak for villains, but I adore his sweeter roles as well, I’m so glad I got to see him. If I moved to a new city and he was my neighbour I’d know I’d be okay, because honestly he needs to be my roommate like yesterday. A chef who’s afraid to cook because of OCD, I’m sure he’d be able to help me with my own cooking from a safe distance, and I already have some practice as my sibling has OCD and is very strict about how her food is handled, so I’ll have come full circle. I just need to make him more okay with cuddles first…

🔥 Hottest Role - Denham (A Killer of Men)

Denham was another one that was hard to place, because that axe twirls makes me insane, but with what little screentime he gets it all evens out. Another great villain, he’s just senseless violence in a bloody wedding dress and he works it. Love the look, love the vibe, if the world ended and the whole gang was coming at me I’d be honoured if he was the one who got me (I swear I’m not that deranged lmao just thirsty)

7.

💘 Love of my Life - Simon Lynch (Almost Human)

Even now I feel like Simon should be higher, especially since I’ve written my fic about him as well as my deep dive. I’ve said it before but my heart really went out to him, the deep dive says way more than I can fit it here, which probably means he should be higher lol so give that (and maybe the fic too 👉👈😌) a read if you haven’t already, all my love for him went into both.

❣️ Honourable Mention - James Harris (The Employer)

Another adorable character, the bar flashbacks had me blushing every time. We all knew it’d be him, but I’m so glad he pulled through at the end. I want this one to be happy, especially after everything he went through. Absolutely cutiepie, gunna be the one to pay for his dinner after he gets home 😊

🔥 Hottest Role - Dwight Pollard (Gotham)

Since I go into all of his roles blind, I had no idea what to expect for this one, but from the start I was hooked. Having him be a crazed cult leader with the biggest, most feral smile and laugh ever stole my heart the things I would let this man do to me sakndskjds I liveblogged his eps to a friend of mine who’s seen Gotham and has been trying to get me to watch it for ages cause I love DC, so she was thrilled as I sat here screaming about everything leading up to his ending :’D I’ve gotten some encouragement to write him, so when I do it’s gunna be so insane I’ll have to tag the hell outta it lmao (btw making these gifs nearly killed me oh my god I need him)

6.

💘 Love of my Life - Joshua Whitmore (Cass)

All the pain I went through trying to get this movie was worth it because it all led to him. I love him, I adore him, I’m so incredibly glad that so many others got to see him and love him too thanks to my trials and tribulations. DD’s only artist role, I got to connect with him on a personal level not shared with the others, and my desire to make sure he’s safe and taken care of is so strong that I wrote 26k about him, they’re two of my most favourite things I’ve ever written. I’ve thrown the ending of the movie out and completely placed it with my own, which can be found in my fics, and until Hugh Schulze DMs me personally and tells me what his vision was, that’s what I’m sticking with forever. So rest easy, he’s free from New York and buyers and dealers and the street and he’s safe and happy and painting again ;w;

❣️ Honourable Mention - Thomas Schiff (The Dark Knight)

The OG, a lot of people’s first roles of his, including mine. I remember seeing this movie in theaters when it came out so that means I saw him up there, on the big screen, and something about him stuck around in my brain until I finally realized my love QwQ Even if he isn’t as fleshed out in my mind to make the actual list, I still needed to include him in some way, I hope he got placed somewhere that wasn't Arkham after Batman stepped in.

🔥 Hottest Role - Cam (Relaxer)

I will never watch Relaxer again. Couldn’t even do it while I was making his scenepack cause so many horrible things happen to Abbie I couldn’t take it. But Cam, oh my god, I need this man. Someday I wanna write this huge fic about the reader trying to date him, and there’s no redemption. He’s still terrible at the end. But that’s what we all love about him, how shitty he is and how the potential is there for him to make us all worse. He sucks, but in the best way, and I kinda need him to maybe bully me please 😳 (making that first gif nearly made me blackout why is he doing pushups)

5.

💘 Love of my Life - Bob Taylor (Prisoners)

When I started adding names to my list of men I loved, Bob wasn't even on it at first I think, despite liking him in the movie. Then I saw more with him and added him to crushes. Now I’m fully in love with him, and he breaks my heart every single day. He was hurting for so long, even when we were watching I couldn’t place the blame on him while the rest of my family were convinced just like Loki that he was the one, but no matter what I couldn’t. The second I saw his sweet smile I told them there was no way it was him, and sure enough I was right. Another character who didn’t deserve what happened to him, I’ve been slowly helping him with my headcanons, but in my personal queue I have a fic planned for him and he will have no more sad days when I do 😭 I also have a bunny plush I’d had for years, my dad bought it for me and it’s been sitting on my bed ever since, and when I’m sad I hold it and pretend Bob gave it to me, it’s honestly got me through some much needed therapy because if he could go about his day with that kind of trauma then I could be brave and call about my own mental health :’)

❣️ Honourable Mention - Lonny Crane (The Belko Experiment)

This one’s a bit of a double whammy, cause I love him, but the switch to violence had me staring 👀 Either way, he didn’t deserve his death, but since it is a killing game type movie he was doomed from the start, at least his seemed instant 🥺 Someday I’ll write a fixit for him too, it was just too much for him back to back to back, he really didn’t deserve his final moments to have him as a villain even though I would really love to be lifted up like that aklskjdskds okay I’m normal again

🔥 Hottest Role - Ray Watkins (The Rookie)

Have you seen this man? No really, have you seen him? The twirl, the shirt lifting on his hips, the cold but also fun villainy, the nonchalance to mask the cruelness underneath. I need him. This one is not a Want, he is a Need and I need him. I hope that he gets to come back in the future to fully wrap up his plot along with the cop’s plot, pleasepleaseplease, otherwise I will die unsatisfied.

4.

💘 Love of my Life - Kurt Goreshter (Ant-Man 1-2)

I believe he might’ve been the second role I’d ever seen, but only after I really got into the MCU after Endgame. I skipped Ant-Man in my original watches, since I was mostly just into the Avengers and Cap (mainly Bucky lol) in general, but when I finally did a full marathon I really enjoyed the first movie. Cannot remember my feelings for him now since it’s been about 4 years, but I do know when I went back to rewatch in March I fell the second I saw him 🥰 the hair, the accent, the outfit AGAIN, and those hand tattoos, this is another Perfect Man. My crush on him is incredibly strong, it told me that yeah I was really starting to fall for DD (at that point I’d just seen Demeter a few times, and then Oppenheimer on accident) and it officially kicked off my marathon that eventually led me to my collection I have today. 

❣️ Honourable Mention - Lester Billings (The Boogeyman)

My family actually watched this without me way before my crush began, so when I saw he was in it I just had to finally sit down and watch it myself. Cue me hurriedly typing to my sibling when he showed up lol this man is SAD! He’s so beautiful and sad, I just wanna make a new family with him (I would be a parent for him, that’s the extent of my love) so he can be happy again. I love the backstory I made up for him way more than the original story, sorry Stephen King but you made him awful and I don’t want that one. I’m gunna save this man and he WILL smile again, that’s a Ray Guarantee.

🔥 Hottest Role - The Vampire (Cora)

Now, to start, this one falls prey to Very Bad Writing Choices. I will not deny that. Like, even with the allegory of the whole thing (that I did not see cause I just saw a short vampire story honestly) it's very much Not Good. But that’s why I’m removing him from the short and keeping him. In fact, go read polkadotjohnson’s fics on him, they’re fantastic and I adore how she wrote him. I someday wish to do my own, because otherwise everyone who can’t look past the Very Bad Writing Choices are getting straight up robbed of this one. Those double fangs need to introduce themselves to my neck pronto, you see what I’m saying? He’s so goddamn hot, DD needs to play a very serious vampire role again so everyone can see the Vision, he wants to do it, I need to win the lottery so I can fund this movie myself, that’s my new life’s goal.

3.

💘 Love of my Life - Jack Delroy (Late Night With the Devil)

The first movie I saw in theaters after my crush began! My friend saw him in a tweet about it and linked me to it so I thought it was already out, but I ended up having to wait two weeks and it nearly killed me ;w; I went in completely blind, which is good cause the trailer spoils so many great shots unfortunately, and the entire time I was swooning. Like, I usually whisper to my sibling during movies if we have comments, we’re very talkative at home when we watch stuff, but this time I was just sitting there staring with hearts in my eyes without pause. I’m in love with this man, plain and simple, I’m so glad I was able to get to see it since it didn’t come to the theater closest, we had to drive an hour away and when dad joked about me paying for the tickets since I was the one who wanted to see it, I did in a heartbeat. I wanted to see it again, but it was only there a couple weeks, so by the time I was able to go it was gone and I’m still upset about it. I’d sell my soul for this man, I love writing for him so much, I’m so glad my crush on Wojchek bloomed just in time for me to see this.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Hank (Virgin Alexander)

I avoided this one at first because the trailer was making me cringe and I was going crazy over what kinda sexy awkward role he’d have in it, but I was pleasantly surprised in the end. I think the movie is actually cute, despite some stuff still making me cringe, and Hank is literally the most perfect boyfriend. If he showed up randomly in my life I would date him in a second, hands down. He’s so shaped like a friend, I know I’d always have fun with him even when we’re not Having Fun, and that’s all you can ever ask for in a relationship 😊

🔥 Hottest Role - Breck Montanari (Double Black)

Okay first of all I gave him that last name. Second of all, I wrote 70k about this man and I am so in love with him that I own him now. I’ve taken him from Sara Woomer, he’s mine now. He has a full past, gave him a future and a partner, there’s no way I couldn’t have fallen in love with him. Unfortunately that fic will never be shared as it’s private, but know that, again, until Sara Woomer DMs me personally and shares everything else about this world, this is my new canon for him. And the cult. And the entire area where he lives. And several of the members. And the new Double Black who was such a chill dude that I made my bff love him too. This is my secret legacy. He only lost out to my #2 because there’s no way he couldn’t be my #2.

2.

💘 Love of my Life - Wojchek (The Last Voyage of the Demeter)

The reason I finally learned his name QwQ I went into this movie blind, dad really wanted to see it and I love horror so I went with him, and the second I saw him I said, ‘Oh that guy! I know that guy!’ since by then I’d seen Kurt and Abner a few years earlier and vaguely remembered him. I spent the whole movie then dreading his end thanks to the opening lines, and I’m pretty sure I quietly yelled at the screen when he fell and then got got after praying he’d be okay TwT After Abner, he’s the first DD role I ever shipped with, and when my crush officially restarted I ended up writing my entire plot for him and Addy that night before bed. I love him so much, he’s my jolly sailor bold who stole my heart by crying over the thought of having to lose his home. He’ll forever own a special place in my heart because of all this, I can’t imagine anyone else taking this spot.

🔥 Hottest Role - Murdoc (MacGyver 2016)

Murdoc was the first TV role of his I checked out after I saw as many movies as I could that interested me (mostly all the ones on Prime sans a couple, my collection was very very small by then) and the moment I saw him be mentioned I was ready to go. The Alice in Wonderland vague text, running and then getting shocked before falling two floors, showing up with that hair, I was not prepared for everything else they were about to throw at me. Murdoc is one of my most favourite characters now, he’s so much fun, I adore everything about him, I’ve only edited with him twice and written him once, but I need to do both so much more! This one is hot as fuck, he’s adorable, he loves his son, he’s got tools, he’s utterly sadistic, he’s a silly little guy. This is another Perfect Man, I cannot wait to decide on his plot with Addy because there’s too many fun possibilities I honestly might just make multiple.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Willy Cunningham (The Domestics)

Now… you might all be thinking… why the hell is this guy a #2 honourable mention in the face of all the others… and the answer is… I’m a freak 😀 I’ll never say, but my eyes were opened to him, and my god, I will literally never be the same. I just need him and that insanely feral energy okay, lemme have this.

1.

💘 Love of my Life - Abner Krill (The Suicide Squad)

The love that started it all, I think I fell for him the moment he walked outta his cell and got teased. The love I feel for him goes so deep, it only compares to one other, and whenever I work on my plot for him and Addy I always get choked up. The ultimate one who didn’t deserve what he got, I actually refused to watch the movie again after he died, straight up did not watch until my marathon started, and as soon as I saw him in that cell it all came back. I instantly fell back in love with him, and thus his Addy plot has the most love put into it to make sure he’s happy and safe. I thought that maybe there’d be another to win my heart as my marathon grew, but nope he’s still there sharing it with my other #1, and seeing him can instantly bring a smile to my face no matter how I’m feeling. 

After the movie I read the trivia again and my crush on DD himself began, so it’s all thanks to him and Wojchek that I’ve met the people I know today and have created so many things in such a short time. When I hit my lowest low in years I just sat at my desk and held the funko I have of him and just cried it all out, and it honestly helped me get out of that spiral. Thanks to him I now have a Polka-Dot Man collection (still missing one figure and maybe a signed print and poster 👉👈🥰) and if I could get a plushie of him to join the ton I already have I’d buy him in a second. Maybe someday, if I have any courage, I’ll bring my funko or something to a con where DD is attending and get it signed, either him or my other #1, and I’ll cherish it forever.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Jude (Animals)

Like all the others, I went into this movie completely blind. I didn’t know DD wrote it or its significance to him until after it was over and the credits rolled. So the entire time I was watching I was falling in love with him, he was so incredibly my type in the moments he was actually happy that it’s insane, I spent the whole movie just saying how much I would date him in better circumstances. We were sadly betting which one of them was going to die as things just got worse, me and my sibling were watching so miserably, and then we were rewarded with a happy ending despite the bittersweetness. And then the credits rolled, after me repeatedly wondering why he’d accept a role like this after knowing at least about his addiction and it all fell into place. I haven’t been able to watch again so far now that I know a lot of what happened to Jude also happened to him, it breaks my heart too much, but I still love him deep down and I hope he was also able to heal after the credits rolled.

🔥 Hottest Role - Johnson (Reprisal)

Tied for first with Abner as the ultimate love of my life and claiming this one all to himself, Johnson is the Most Perfect Man. Literally, no other DD role can top him in my heart aside from Abner. I honestly almost skipped Reprisal entirely because the promo image on his imdb didn’t grab me (I’m such a fake fan I’m so ashamed of myself), but when I was done with everything else and wanted to see more, I downloaded it without ep9 since he wasn't in it, and started watching. What followed next was me falling so in love with the show that I spent forever trying to get that missing episode back from near dead torrents cause I needed to watch it even though he wasn't in it. Reprisal is my Roman Empire, I am constantly thinking about it and him and Matty, not just for my fic but just because I love it all so fucking much. 

Johnson himself is so fascinating, I’m incredibly in love with him and everything about him, he’s unlike any other role DD has played that there’s a complete disconnect in my mind, he’s just Johnson. He’s so goddamn hot I missed out on literally everything the first round because I was watching him so hard, Matty and Ethan were nonexistent to me and I’m madly in love with Matty now so let that sink in, and when I rewatched it immediately after with my parents it was like I was watching for the first time. I’m loving writing for him (and Matty and Ethan of course) so much that my thoughts go back to him daily, and it almost always includes me being on the verge of tears because of how insanely good this script is and how these boys bring me so much joy while also shattering my heart. 

Making the gif below no joke did make me cry like this show is my greatest weakness right now you guys don't even understand how much it and Johnson mean to me.

I need to edit more for him and them and the show in general, if I had endless money and all the confidence in the world I would truly fund this show single handedly so it can finish the way it was supposed to. I’m so mad at Hulu for giving me the greatest love(s) of my life before taking him away years before I’d ever know him, with no physical media or merch to at least collect to numb the pain. At some point I need to get some promo pics printed out as actual posters, I need this show on my wall so I can always see him.

[sunshine-theseus]

Fools | Kyra Cooney-Cross x ND!Reader

Words: 4.3k

Summary: no one understood your mind, until you met Kyra.

Notes: Guys I have no knowledge of how Emirates is laid out, how meeting players off the pitch works etc, so I’m completely making this shit up I’m sorry. also sorry for the super long introduction, and the shit writing, I haven’t written in months.

Warnings: mentions of abuse - not proofread. i'm so sorry if this is so shit i genuinely haven't written in months. i wanted this one to be good so bad but i just don't think it is

the person who requested this has since deactivated so i actually feel so bad that i didn't get this out while they were on here. i'm genuinely so sorry for the past like 6 months.

I always struggled with social interactions. I didn’t understand it for a long time, why I always had to smile and hug people, why I had to lie about certain things like how I thought my aunt’s bright green hat looked, why I couldn’t ramble about Star Wars or the new penguin facts I just learned.

Then there were the sounds, and lights and the way things felt. Everything had to be specific, or I couldn’t focus. Sometimes if it was bad enough that I would have a breakdown, unable to do anything. My parents tried to scold it out of me when as a kid I couldn’t eat certain foods or wear the clothes they wanted. Sometimes if they deemed it worthy, I’d be met with the flesh of a palm against my cheek or bottom.

-

When I was 12, I presented the idea that maybe I was autistic to my parents. I’d researched it at school for a social emotional learning class we had to take, and I couldn’t help but notice the similarities I found within myself. If I think about it hard enough, I can feel every burning outline of the dark red hand marks that bloomed on my skin hours after the interaction, and the burning of my eyes as my stomach rumbled, drowned out by the music rumbling through my headphones.

-

At 17 I emancipated from my parents and moved to North Watford, renting out a small studio apartment above a record shop. I completed my final year of high school, working part time in the store, building a much-desired routine. The man that owned the shop and my apartment, and his young daughter, were migrants from Cuba, and more than happy to accommodate to my needs. They even chipped in to help me pay for my autism screening after I graduated high school.

I think they were the first people I willingly hugged ever.

I stopped masking when I moved, so the daughter, Elena; 5, took a few months to understand why I didn’t like touch or loud noises and why I didn’t understand some of the jokes she said that others usually laughed at. Not that I’d had the diagnosis at that time, but she was happy to just spend time with me. Every afternoon when I came back from school and started my shift, she’d beg me for more penguin facts, asking which was my favourite penguin. In return she’d spend the 2-hour shift drawing me something, usually a penguin, to pin on my corkboard at home.

I’d then help with her homework while Camilo closed shop and posted any online orders. It was a routine I cherished deeply.

-

Now, 3 and a bit years later at 21 years old, they managed to drag me to a football game. Equipped with headphones and a couple small sensory toys, as well as a hoodie under the “Miedema” jersey, the material of which originally had me tugging and prying the shirt away from my skin.

Elena and Camilo had been big fans of Arsenal for as long as I’d known them, going to every home game, begging me to join them every week without fail. I finally caved during a break in my uni courses, with nothing to do and Elena’s birthday falling on the day of a game, there was no other choice.

The newly 9-year-old basically imploded when she saw my printed ticket stub, tucked tightly into her birthday card. I gently ruffled her hair, which had become my version of hugging her, and showed her the 3 matching red and white #11 jerseys I purchased not long ago. She’d talked a lot about this Vivianne Miedema and how she wanted to be just like her when she grew up, but she’d never gotten a jersey, or seats on the bottom tier. Today was the day.

~

“Come ooonnn I want to get to our seats!” the pinky of her left hand links with my right one as her other hand is holding her dad’s, and she’s dragging us down the lane toward the entrance.

“Slow down Pollito! We have 20 more minutes until we need to be seated.” My special schedule for the day runs through my head as I check my watch. Plenty of time as long as the crowd keeps flowing.

“I wish you didn’t learn Spanish. It’s such a silly nickname.”

“But you’re my little chicken.” I send a joking frown her way and she replies with a toothless grin.

With the abrupt end to the conversation, we arrive at the gate. Showing the stewardess our tickets to be scanned, we then head toward our seats. As Camilo and I take our seats at the very front, instead of make way to their usual seats a tier up, Elena stops and looks back and forth between us.

“There’s no way you got us these seats.” Without a word I pull the girl in between us and she begins to ramble about how excited she is to be able to see the game so close, still able to be clearly heard through my headphones I manage to slip over my ears.

~

The game is drawn 1-1 just after half time, but Arsenal is close to having the upper hand. From across the pitch, Elena spots the tall and lanky number 11, Vivianne Miedema, pulling off her fluoro yellow bib and warm up shirt and lining up next to number 32 behind the fourth official who is prepping her sign. With a couple of whacks to my arm and an aggressive point of her finger, Elena makes me and Camilo very aware of the impending entrance of her favourite player, and another really attractive girl who is very obviously wearing her socks on the wrong feet. The thought makes me squirm but a shot on goal quickly manages to take my focus.

“Who’s the one coming on with Viv? You’ve never told me about number 32.” It’s hard to take my eyes off the girl as she jumps from one foot to the other, anticipating her entrance.

“Oh that’s Kyra Cooney-Cross! She’s Australian, she transferred at the start of the season. Jonas should play her more.” I acknowledge her words with a hum and a nod before we join in cheering Viv and Kyra on.

My eyes are glued to Kyra the rest of the game. Without any knowledge of how football works, I’m left to assume she’s good with the way she dances around players and passes the ball. It was weird, but her movement was so free flowing it would not be atrocious to confuse her with a ballerina. Elegant and calculated, no hesitation.

~

“Where are we going?” my pinky is once again linked with Elena’s as I drag her and Camilo through Emirates.

“Papa where is she going? The exit is that way.”

“I have no clue chica, but I suppose we should trust her aye?” with that, the father-daughter duo track behind me.

Eventually I stop just where the opening of the tunnel leads out on to the pitch and show a lady the pass I’d been carrying around all day. She smiles and begins walking down the tunnel, waving behind her as a sign for us to follow.

“What’s going on?” Elena asks once again, but I just follow the lady onto the pitch, where multiple members of the Arsenal squad are now loitering around, obviously waiting for something, or someone. At the front of the group is Viv, and when she spots the small girl behind me her eyes light up.

“Hi! You must be Elena. We’ve heard a lot about you!” she sends the girl a smile, but Elena doesn’t make any move to continue the conversation. My head whips to her and I nearly have to laugh from how adorable she is. Her jaw has dropped open and her eyes are welling up with tears, so I ruffle her hair and bend down to her height, removing my headphones.

“What’s up buttercup?” I lightly tap her head.

“That’s really her.” she whispers to me, her eyes not leaving the Dutch woman, who lets out a chuckle.

“Yes it is.”

“How?” I tap the side of my nose at her question indicating it’s to be left a secret.

“Can I have a hug?” Viv kneels on one knee and opens her arms and Elena suddenly breaks lose from her trance and runs up to her hero.

“It’s nice to meet you liefje, I hear you’ve been a fan for a long time. And today’s your birthday. How old are you turning?”

“Nine!”

“Oh wow, you’re growing up!”

“I know, but Y/N still calls me Pollito. I’m not a little chicken.” Everyone looking on bursts out laughing as Elena frowns, and while I join them, the loud sound simply reminds me of the lack of protection on my ears.

~

Elena gets whisked off to talk and play around with Viv and some of the other girls, who seem to all have taken a genuine liking to the young girl, Camilo following to watch over them. I stand firmly on the sidelines, fidgeting with an infinity cube and trying to forget the sudden scratching of my hoodie’s tag on the back of my neck and the tightness of my socks, when a now familiar face pops in front of me.

I don’t notice her at first, my eyes are closed and I’m trying breathing patterns in hopes that the overstimulating sensations with dissipate. It’s only when I open my eyes to check on Elena that I get the shock of my life. Number 32 is just standing in front of me, staring, waiting for me to notice her. no less than a minute ago she’d been spinning Elena around and laughing with her, which I’d found alarmingly adorable, how’d she get here so fast?

She doesn’t say anything, she just smiles and waves, and I realise she must think I can’t hear her with my headphones on, which many people tend to ignore. Wow she’s much prettier up close.

“Hi, I’m Y/N” I return her smile, but don’t make any move to remove the headphones.

“I’m Kyra.” Her voice is muffled but her accent is incredible and like music to my ears.

“You played really well today.” Is she blushing? Red creeps up her neck and finds home on her round cheeks as she smiles brightly.

“Ah thanks, I try to give it my all. Hoping to prove I deserve more game time.”

“You don’t get played often?” another chuckle passes her lips and I feel my stomach tighten.

“Uh no. I take it you’re not a big football fan?”

“What gives you that idea.”

“Well rocking up to an Arsenal game with blue nails for a start.” I cock my head to the side and give her a confused look. I did a lot of research for today, there was no room for me to mess up.

“Chelsea, our biggest rivals, their colour is blue. It’s basically forbidden for an arsenal fan to wear blue to a game. Trust me, I learnt the hard way.”

I’m quick to hide my hands in the pocket at the front of my hoodie, fidgeting with my nails. How did I manage to fuck that up?

“You don’t really have to worry, just maybe keep it in mind if you ever come to another game. I hope you do by the way.” She flashes me a smile that makes me feel warm and I can’t help myself.

“You’re very pretty.” She’s about to reply when I glance down and notice her socks are still wrong.

“And I’m not sure if you know but your socks are on the wrong feet.” It’s quiet for a moment and I’m not sure if my common candour has once again overstepped. I can’t even open my mouth to apologise before she giggles.

“I knew there was something wrong. I keep doing it but no one tells me until after the game… and you’re quite beautiful yourself. If you don’t mind me saying.” My eyes continue to avoid her face as I bounce on the balls of my feet and try to refrain from shaking my hands, my most common stim.

“Thank you.”

We’re silent for a minute or so, which I don’t mind now that I’m more familiar with her. I continue to watch Elena and Camilo, who are now playing in a 5v5, Viv carrying the girl halfway down their makeshift pitch before helping her kick the ball. When her laughs echo through the stadium, joy breaking through her screams and from the yells of her dad who is playing a rather poor referee, I’m reminded of how much I love this family. I can’t help the smile on my face.

“Your sister is very adorable.” I glance to my side where Kyra now resides and contemplate telling her she isn’t my sister, but the words get stuck in my throat. If I were to say they weren’t my family after all they’ve done for me, then I’d be lying.

“Yeah. She’s basically my whole life.”

“Hey can I ask about the headphones? I mean you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want but-“

“I’m autistic. Struggle really bad with sound and other stimulants. I wear headphones to dampen sounds, especially in public. And stadiums are full of sounds.” My palms sweat a little and my breath is laboured for a moment. This is usually the part where people decide I’m a freak and never talk to me again.

“Oh cool. I totally get that, the sound thing.” That warm feeling returns. She doesn’t question anything, she just agrees.

~

Eventually the meet and greet had to end, but I manage to get a few of the girl’s numbers, including number 32’s. Something I hadn’t expected was that the team would love Elena so much that they wanted to organise season tickets and some more passes to meet up after home games. I couldn’t help but be a little proud of myself as the young girl rambled about how amazing it was to get to hang out with her idols, and the prospect of seeing them again.

~

Uni starts back up the following week, so I don’t join the two for a game for quite a while. Despite that, I find myself texting Kyra most days, a good morning and goodnight routine quickly being established. We ask each other questions about each other. ‘What did you want to be if football didn’t work out?’ ‘What made you want to study your course?’ ‘what’s your favourite thing about Australia?’.

She liked to ask me about parts of my autism every now and then. She wanted to know what things to avoid, what topics made me ramble for ages, safe foods. The only other people who had ever cared this much were Elena and Camilo. The two of which had definitely taken note of how happy I’d grown since the game.

“Who are you talking to Angelito? You haven’t smiled this big in a long time.” Camilo takes a seat beside me behind the desk of the store

There is no need to hide the blossoming relationship from him, so I turn my screen to show the messages between Kyra and I, a bold ‘No. 32’ under a very weird but unmistakable picture of the girl. He hums and smiles, lightly nudging our shoulders together.

“She likes you.”

“Pft no she doesn’t.”

“‘you’re so cute.’ ‘I really like you.’ ‘I’ll save that for when I take you on a date.’ With a winky face emoji. She literally admits she likes you. Twice.”

“I thought that was that flirty thing people do with their friends.”

“I know when people like each other.”

“How Milo?”

“I have a gift.”

“A gift hmm?” he just smiles widely down at me before taking my phone again. He begins to type something.

“What are you writing Milo? Milo!” I glance over his shoulder.

‘I really like you and would like to go on a date if you’re free.’ I’m about to scold him but three dots appear as Kyra begins typing.

“If this works you owe me an extra hour this week.”

“You are an evil schemer Camilo.” I say before squeezing his shoulder, a common sign of affection we’d developed.

‘I’d really like that. Tomorrow’s our day off if that works.’

I can’t help the squeal I let out as Camilo writes a response in confirmation.

“I’m going on a date.”

“You deserve this kiddo.”

~

Kyra and I agree on a dinner date at a restaurant I’d mentioned really enjoying a few months ago, that I hadn’t had a chance to visit since. I’d made the reservation, asking for the specific table I’d sat at the last time I came, and I’d already decided on what I was getting before I even hoped in the car to drive there.

I’d planned everything perfectly. The place, my outfit, what time I had to leave to arrive there 10 minutes before our agreed upon time. I hadn’t taken into account the car speeding through a red light and crashing into the car in the right lane beside me. Or the fact that due to the momentum I’d get caught between the 2 cars and the building on the corner of the street I was just about to turn down. No more than 15 metres from the restaurant but I’m trapped and the seatbelt is too tight and my head hurts. I’m crushed between my door and the centre console and all the sirens and ambulance lights approaching are too much and all I can do it cry.

If I could just reach my bag in the footwell of the passenger seat I could get my headphones to relieve some of the stimulation, but I can’t bend that way without my ribs screaming and whatever is poking my hip in my back making itself known.

I pray to every god I can name that I pass out, but no one hears as the jaws of life pry open my door. When were the other cars moved?

“Ma’am we have to cut you out. my colleague here is going to hold you up. Is that okay?” I don’t have any energy to say no, so I nod, waiting for some scissors to snip away at the seatbelt. Instead, I hear an electric saw whir to life.

“W- what’s the saw for?” my words are barely recognisable as they slur together.

“Ma’am everything is okay, just stay still for us okay?”

The sawing is over quicker than it begun, and the paramedics make an effort to move me as carefully as they can onto the stretcher, then into the ambulance. I make no move to complain about how the neck brace is itchy and feels suffocating.

A minute passes and through the newly developed ringing in my ears, I hear someone calling my name. they sound so far away but when I open my eyes again, Kyra is standing above me, next to the paramedic who’s hooking me up to monitors,

“Do you know this lady ma’am?” she asks me as I stare up at the girl I was meant to be on a date with.

“Yeah she’s my girlfriend.” A voice in the back of my head is worried that maybe that will freak Kyra out, but I know they won’t let her ride with me if we don’t have some close connection and for some reason friend does not cross my mind.

They allow her to take the extra seat beside me and she loops her pinky with mine. She keeps glancing down toward my stomach and taking deep breaths as we make our way down the streets of London. I try to see what she’s looking at but the brace doesn’t allow me to look that far down.

“You’re going to be okay.” She whispers as they roll me out of the ambulance, and she manages to quickly kiss me before I’m gone from view.

~

I don’t know how long I’m out for, but when I wake up there is a sterile white light beaming down on me and I have to instantly close my eyes. I’m quick to take note of the horrible feeling of the hospital gown I definitely wasn’t in when I’d gone under.

“Papa! She’s awake!” I let out a groan at the yell but and quick to smile once the voice registers in my head.

“Pollito.” My voice is no more than a whisper, hoarse and dry.

“Hey Angelito. How are you feeling.”

“Horrible. The light’s too bright and the gown is so itchy.” Neither Elena nor Camilo leave my side, but the light is off within seconds.

“I more meant physically. You were hit pretty hard.” The screeching of tyres, the smell of burnt rubber, the flashing lights, all rush back to me. So does the pain.

“Now that you mention it. What’s the damage?” it’s meant as a joke but I’m trying not to cry.

“3 broken ribs, 2 fractured, a torn vastus lateralis in your thigh, a lot of muscle damage in your back. It’s going to be a lot of physical therapy kiddo.” The thought has bile rising in my throat.

“Fuck me.”

“It’s okay, we’re going to be here the whole way. All of us.” By now I could know the voice in a crowd of people.

I turn my head and there she is. Kyra is sat in one of the uncomfortable hospital seats with her hand on top of mine.

“If it’s okay with you, Camilo, me and some of the arsenal girls are going to sort out a schedule to take turns helping you with PT. Viv was really hoping she could give some tips considering how long she spent doing PT.”

“That sounds perfect. But please tell me one of you has my pyjamas. I need to get out of this gown.”

~

There was no lie in how difficult rehab was. I had an hour appointment at the hospital every day and additional work at home that Milo, Kyra and some of the arsenal girls happily helped with. The hardest hurdle was amount of physical touch that was required. My physical therapist, Jordan, always made sure I knew when she needed to touch my leg or something, but that did very little to sooth the feeling that crawled beneath my skin. She was able to dim the fluorescent white lights and allowed me to wear my headphone which did help a small amount.

Kyra basically moved into my room above the shop. Milo insisted he could do all the work of getting me around the house and the shop, but we knew he couldn’t while maintaining the shop and looking after Elena. Elena tried her best to help by making me breakfast. She gathered pre-made versions of my safe breakfast food and carefully place them separately on a plate, with a glass of orange juice every morning. After the first week she realised I’d be in a wheelchair and struggling to move around much for much longer than she thought, so she quickly gave up on that idea and began making me penguin drawings at school.

I’d adapted to having Kyra around much quicker than I expected to. When I moved in at 17, it took me months to get used to the layout and the fact that I was alone, despite Camilo and Elena living in the house across the road. I adapted to Kyra’s presence within weeks.

After the second week we’d decided it was easier to share the bed rather than her sleeping on the couch, which had been the biggest change. I struggled with it the first few nights. I had a sleep routine that was already disrupted by the injuries, now I had to take another person into account. But she was so warm, and I felt so safe in her arms. Whenever I woke up from a nightmare about the crash, she grabbed me an iced tea and my headphones and would ramble about whatever interests she had recently developed or whatever was happening at training.

It was in the second month things took a more serious turn. Well serious for our relationship. I was sitting at the table chopping the vegetables for dinner while she begins cooking, when I took a minute to just look at her. The warm lighting softened her features, her quiet humming to whatever song was playing carried throughout the room, the smile that seemed to never leave her face sat perfectly on her lips as she listened to me ramble about the newly discovered yellow king penguin. She was so radiant and attentive, and she was never annoyed at me when I was overstimulated or wanted to infodump. She was seemingly unaffected by my rehab and most importantly unaffected by my autism. After a life full of negative interactions and losing people because of one thing I couldn’t control, I’d found a family and a partner who embraced me.

I didn’t realise I was crying until she turned and asked me what was wrong.

“I’m just grateful.”

“For what?”

“You, Milo, Elena. I love you all so much.” I didn’t realise I’d said it really. I was just being candid, as I always was.

“You love me?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation even as it dawned on me.

“Well, I love you too.” There is a split second between the end of her sentence and the meeting of our lips in a kiss.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” I ask as we pull away.

“Wait- I thought- when you called me your girlfriend on the ambulance I kind of took that as you asking me to be your girlfriend.” She begins laughing.

“What? This whole time I’ve been nervous about actually asking you and you already thought I had?” I can’t help but join her laugh.

“We’re such fools.” She whispers, and we kiss again.

I'll always be a fool for her.

[throneofsapphics]

old faces, part 11

Rowaelin x f!Reader

Summary: you and Rowan meet again after seven years, and deal with the fall-out of a secret. 

Warnings: mentions of violence

Word Count: 3159

A/N: I know it's been 6 months, but I'm just getting back to a place where I'm able to write this story! I'm sorry this took so long <3 thank you to @whisperingmidnights for your help with this part

series masterlist

“Your plan is to piss them off?” Fenrys looked at you like he prayed you were joking. 

“It’s not my whole plan.” 

“But it’s part of it?” 

“Figure out how desperate they are, and I can get a good gauge on how dangerous or useful the object is.” 

“Don’t underestimate their intelligence,” Fenrys cautioned. 

Rowan wanted to snarl at the male, he might as well have agreed this was the best plan. It was a good plan, he could admit that, there was only one pitfall - a very big one. It puts you in harm's way. No, it makes you even more of a target than you already are.

“What if it backfires?” Aelin asked, and Rowan both admired and was incensed by how calm she seemed. “What if others become suspicious, start asking around, and end up wanting the same thing they do?” 

“There’s always a risk,” you chewed on your bottom lip. He was about to open his mouth, to say ‘exactly’ or, ‘it’s too great of a risk,’ when you turned your gaze on Fenrys, then Aelin, then him. 

“From a strategic standpoint … if it weren’t me -” 

“It is you,” Aelin interrupted, but you continued as if she hadn’t said a word. 

“What would you say? What if the potential knowledge we’d gain is of great risk to Terrasen? Aren’t we better off knowing?” 

“It’s not much of a question if you put it like that,” Fenrys muttered. He didn’t look particularly happy about it, but Rowan knew he agreed. 

He turned to Aelin. ‘What do you think?’ his eyes asked.

“She’s right.”

Gods. He knew he would, if it wasn’t you, if it was nearly anyone else he’d task them with figuring it out. 

“We know a few Akkadian males are searching for some kind of artifact or weapon,” Fenrys started, ticking things off on his fingers, “and that it’s possible they are working independently, that they want to keep this secret. We know they have … dangerous knowledge of your past, and they’re connected with some kind of underworld.” 

There’s no real other way they’d know Andal - a male he’d like to kill one day, if only for the fear and pain in your eyes when his name was said. 

Aelin pinched the bridge of her nose. “We see if it draws some kind of reaction, see if anyone else is surprised, if he’s really acting personally or if he’s a scapegoat.” 

He prepared himself to protest, but your past words ‘don’t coddle me,’ echoed in his mind. With your characteristic stubborn tenacity, you’d already set your mind to this. At least you were letting him help, at least he could do something to help keep you safe. Rowan latched onto that mentally, onto the small consolation he got. 

“We need to ensure your safety,”  he emphasized, sending you a challenging look. Rowan knew this wouldn't be as desired if they didn’t all go in on it together. Sure, you could do something similar on your own, but he knew you well enough to tell when you didn’t quite want to. When you wanted help, even if your stubborn pride kept you from agreeing to or asking for it. “You won’t -,” Rowan paused and correctly himself, “don’t need to do this alone. Anymore.” 

You agreed, and the planning began. 

-

After two long hours of hashing out every detail, reviewing and reciting them until Rowan was satisfied, Fenrys and Aelin looked ready to explode. You found some comfort in it, but even you were tiring. 

When Rowan and Aelin locked in on one of their silent conversations, you turned to Fenrys, angled so they couldn’t see your face, and mouthed “leave.” 

He winked, and made a poor excuse for a departure, but they didn’t seem to care. 

There was an impending sense of doom, perhaps your mind playing tricks on you, but you couldn’t help feeling like something - maybe everything - would go wrong, no matter how much planning you put into it. 

The Queen and King stood as well, murmuring ‘goodnights,’ before you could say anything. Fuck. 

Your ill-thought out plan had not included that. 

Aelin stopped at the door, hand on the brass knob, Rowan a few steps outside, paused as well. Golden hair fell like a curtain over her shoulder, her head turning  as you slowly stood, teeth digging into your bottom lip. 

Time slowed, her eyes tracked the movement, darkening when they reached your mouth, teeth digging into soft flesh, perhaps imagining them digging in somewhere else. You certainly where. Step by step, you crossed the room towards her. Your footsteps sounded obnoxiously loud, thundering almost as loud as your heart. She turned fully to face you, hand letting go of the door. 

Less than a foot away, you stopped. Eyes glimmering, she tilted her head - daring you. 

This time, you didn’t back down. Hands reached, cupping her palms - still she waited. You could see how the patience cost her, a small curve of your lips and she nearly snarled, but you cut off the words forming, pushing forward to close the gap. 

Soft lips, slow movements, hands wandering, grazing over shoulder, down sides, settling on hips - moving all over as if you couldn’t wait to memorize. 

A low whistle from the hallway - who, you didn’t care, but heard Rowan’s snarl as a response. Aelin’s arm wound around your waist, drawing you closer, shifting your attention back to her. 

You felt Ceri’s magic, likely just down the hall, and stumbled back. 

Hurt flashed over Aelin’s face, through her eyes, mouth parting in dismay. 

“Ceri,” you hissed, “and company,” you added as an afterthought.

The hurt faded, replaced by a smile and a knowing nod as she stepped out of the doorway. 

“Tomorrow,” she said, the word a promise and a plea. You nodded, but couldn’t shake the sense that tomorrow might not come. You cursed yourself for thinking so negatively, for winding yourself up into a state of gloom. Things would work. They had too. There was too much at stake, and too much to lose. 

Four sets of shuffling footsteps - Ceri accompanied by the little … gang, to say the least. The three E’s, Edde, Edie and Elias.

Ceri burst through the door, her friends trailing more cautiously behind her. 

“They can spend the night, right?” 

“I don’t think that’s how you ask a question,” Rowan said dryly. 

You fixed her with a sharp look before she could roll her eyes. 

“We- we can go,” Elias said, voice barely carrying. He’d always been the most cautious of the three 

You opened your mouth, already ready to agree, seeing the sharp look Rowan fixed her with out of your peripheral, but Ceri cut in first - 

“Please, can we spend the night here?”

“Yes,” you laughed and waved them back towards their rooms, shooting a kind smile towards her three friends. In all honesty, you were surprised she asked, but figured she only did it because Rowan and Aelin were also present. 

-

“You might as well adopt the three of them,” Aelin commented. She’d meant it half as a joke, but saw how your eyes brightened. 

“Maybe when this is all over.” There was a distant look in your eyes, accompanied by the slightest upward tilt of your lips. Not the distant gaze of someone in pain, but someone thinking forward, thinking of the future. 

‘Maybe’ might as well be a yes, considering your expression - and if the three of them agreed, of course, but she couldn’t see them declining it.

Aelin didn’t know how anyone could turn you down, not with your pretty eyes or -

Rowan coughed next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Not pleased with looking away from you, she managed to turn her attention to him. 

“Going to stare all night?” He asked silently. 

Aelin didn’t dignify that with a response, instead let her eyes flash briefly to your lips, before murmuring goodnight’s to all of the room’s occupants, noticing the flush on your cheeks as you tracked her gaze. 

Aelin was out the door as Rowan gave his own goodnight’s, and she already knew that once they were back in their rooms he’d gripe that she happened to be the one closer to you. 

Two fingers touched her lips, her back pressed against the stone, mind wandering - wondering when she’d get to kiss you again -

You appeared in the open doorway, eyes wide with panic, head snapping back and forth - had your magic told you something? 

Aelin realized she trusted you implicitly as you tugged her back inside, slamming the door behind her. 

“Aelin and Rowan decided to stay a little longer,” you yelled - a course of acknowledgements coming from further down the hall, already in one of the rooms. 

“He’s - they’re both down a hall or so,” you were blinking rapidly, your breaths obviously intentional. And you didn’t need to clarify who ‘he’ was. For your sake, Aelin forced a tight, tight lid on her anger - and saw Rowan do the same. 

She felt Rowan’s wind sweep past her - buffering against your shield, she felt it as a small crack opened for him - letting his wind slide into the hallway, likely clearing all traces of their scents, along with Ceri and her little gang’s away. When had she become so attuned to your magic?

She heard him as he crossed closer - pausing a few feet away from the door - before continuing on, making it to the end of the hall before he backtracked. 

“I redirected our scents, not erased them,” Rowan murmured quietly - although your magic would block any noise from escaping.

“So he knows where,” you said aloud, arms wrapping around yourself. 

Rowan moved quicker than she could, his arms laid gently over your shoulders, almost hesitantly. When you didn’t flinch, when you leaned into him instead, he tugged you closer, brought your chest to rest against his, other arm wrapping around, fingers running through your hair. 

Aelin saw when you let your beautiful mind stop running, your face tilting, cheek pressed against him, arms coming around his waist. The moment when you relaxed, and let Rowan give you comfort like a lover would. 

-

Another familiar, but friendly scent tricked through the door. Fenrys. He was both grateful and annoyed with his timing. 

“You can let him in,” you sighed. Rowan tightened his arms around you, afraid the moment might leave before he truly got the chance to enjoy it. “And you can let me go,” you whispered. Aelin was by the door now, her hand perched right above the knob. 

“I’d rather not,” he muttered, but stepped back anyway. 

Maybe the day had been too long, and likely he was reading into things but he saw a flash of disappointment on your face. 

Regardless, he’d stepped back just in time - the door swung open, revealing Fenrys - looking unusually grave. 

“I didn’t interact,” his tone indicated he would’ve liked to, very much so, and the words proved Rowan’s inkling from earlier - the wolf hadn’t gone far at all, and having known the male for decades, he wouldn’t for the rest of the night. 

-

Laying back in bed, staring at a ceiling he’d memorized hours ago, Rowan rifled through his memories. 

Maeve had a vague interest in acquiring the types of objects made by your family, but the makers were, as far as she knew, always in Antica. Unattainable. To Maeve, the individual objects wouldn’t have been worth hunting down, not when she could acquire a source. He wondered if one day, if Aelin hadn’t come in and drastically changed his - all of their lives, he or one of the others would’ve received an order to find you or a member of your family. 

Somehow, thankfully, she had no idea your mother made her way into Wendlyn. He figured yours or her magic must’ve kept you hidden, that made him wonder how they’d found you.

It was obvious, he realized with the barest tinge of guilt. Your position in Aelin’s court would undeniably bring attention to you. Expose your abilities and bloodline in a way you’d avoided for so long. That brought the question of why you had accepted, considering it’s you, you knew the risks - hence why he felt the barest tinge of guilt. Maybe, after so long, you were sick of hiding. It wasn’t any use debating, rash decisions were uncommon for you, and rarely did you tell him exactly why you made the choices you did. A bit like Aelin, but not in a good way, but unlike Aelin if he asked you he’d usually get a straight answer. Usually. 

Nothing from his past campaigns with the Akkadians, past experience with the two Fae currently stirring too much trouble, gave guidance on how tomorrow could play out. 

The plan. One he’d made them go over countless times until everyone in the room looked like they wanted to kill him, that’s when he knew to call it quits, if you stuck to it then maybe things would work out. Too big of a maybe for him, but there was no other choice at this point. 

“Try to sleep,” Aelin murmured sleepily, he heard sheets rustling and felt her head rest on his chest, hand sliding over his stomach to rest just below his ribs. 

“We’ll see,” he kept his voice low, and traced circles into her back, the bare skin warm and smooth under his calloused fingers. Her breaths were even, and she’d already fallen back asleep. 

Rowan closed his eyes, and figured he could at least try and follow his Queen’s suggestion. 

-

Fenrys tried for his usual jovial manner in the morning, but it was obvious he was on edge over breakfast. You waited to call him out until after Ceri and her friends had left, accompanied by guards.

“At least pretend everything is normal,” you pushed your food around on your plate, “or you’ll tip them off and ruin our big plan.” 

The second half was laced with some sarcasm, in hopes to placate both you and him. He snorted, but none of the tension left his body, if anything it seemed to increase. That was a failure. Hopefully the rest of the plan would work out - even with the sense of doom still hovering over you like a storm cloud.

Finally letting the spoon clatter to the plate, your hand went up to trace your scar, thumb running over the still raised skin. It shot back down as you saw Fenrys tracking the movement. Most days, you hardly noticed it, but the habit reemerged once in a while. 

You glanced at the clock. Another part of the plan. Maybe you should’ve come up with a more interesting name for it. You brought it up to Fenrys. 

He let out an edged chuckle, “operation don’t cause another international incident?”

“Technically,” you tapped one finger against the table. “They started the incident.”

The statement did feel a tad childish, but in a good way, a way that lightened some of the invisible pressure pushing your shoulders down. 

“So you admit there already is one,” some of the tension had actually left his shoulder and a small sense of accomplishment filled you, but you just shrugged. 

“Operation mitigating international incident.” 

“OMII isn’t a worthy enough acronym.” 

Fenrys’s eyes lit up at the last word. Acronym. 

After taking the time to come up with your name, the two of you were nearly late - having to cut through a secret passage to make it on time. 

O.S.H.I.T. 

Successfully hinder international tactless-assholes. Hyphenated because according to the two of you, “O.S.H.I.T.A” doesn’t have the same ring. You’d also agreed to only inform their Majesties of the moniker if the plan was successful. 

“Why do I feel like you two were up to no good?” Aelin leaned over, no more than a queen consulting one of her advisors, whispering to you. 

“We would never intend to cause trouble, your majesty.” 

A very un-royal like curse came from her lips, thankfully just loud enough for you to hear, and you fought back a smile. Fenrys winked at you from across the room. 

-

Sun warmed your skin, the temperature absolutely perfect for an early summer mid-morning. They’d requested you stay in the castle until all parties had departed. But, there was no reason you couldn’t wander around some of the gardens. Fresh air was good for you, and you felt like you’d spent far too much time in a stuffy castle recently. You ached to get back to your home, considering everything went fine, hopefully that would be sooner rather than later. Not that you need permission, you reminded yourself. 

You had to fight to keep a big grin off your face. All of the worrying, all of the stress and pressure felt worth it now that you were on the other side. 

Yes, their eyes had flashed with anger when you ‘responded to the inquiries,’ publicly and slid them a handful of notes, drawing curious eyes from their companions. It had been a relatively simple plan, but you’d spent hours rehearsing answers to every feasible and not-so-feasible reaction, making it feel much more complex than it should’ve. But they’d departed that same night, and with them left a weight off your chest. 

At least, that’s what you thought before the cool flat side of a blade pressed against your neck, angled so the slightest wrong movement would have you bleeding out on the floor - dead within a minute, something clamped around your wrist - iron, and your magic winked, reduced down to a mere puddle. Some, but not nearly enough to get you out of this. 

“Don’t move,” a voice snarled in your ear, breath warming your neck. You didn’t dare swallow, didn’t dare attempt to form any words. It wasn’t them. Not the two Akkadian’s who’d been haunting you for the last week. Who had they sent? How many others were involved?

Despite your efforts to clear your mind and focus on the current … situation, names kept whirling in your head, making it near impossible. 

Ceri. Rowan. Aelin. Fenrys. Edde, Edie, and Elias. Reya. Ani. Ines. 

‘Safe,’ a familiar and wise female voice murmured in your ear, ‘they are all safe.’  Your chest loosened a fraction. Your mind reeled through every defensive maneuver you knew, and none of them would guarantee to get you out of this alive.

You froze as his hand slid around your front, you couldn’t glance down to see, did you want to see? But … just the briefest pressure of something sliding into your pocket, a crinkle of paper. Why would they slip you a note? The thought fled from your mind with his next words. “Listen carefully,” he hissed, “to what happens next - your life depends on it.” 

Why now, you thought, why when I have so much to live for?

[mxqdii]

hiiii i saw ur chris fic with 'I can see you' and was wondering if u could write one for matt with the song 'you are in love'

I love ur writing so much hope u have a good dayyyy 💗

you are in love - m.s

pairings: matt sturniolo x reader

summary: after dating for awhile, the little moments make reader realize, she's in love.

warning(s): kissing, fluff.

a/n: absolutely sobbing i love this song and thinking of MATT WITH IT??? thank you for requesting this love&lt;3

not proofread

i groan, sitting up seeing the time 11:47PM

there's no use, i just can't sleep. i look over to my boyfriend matt, sleeping peacefully, making me smile.

i get up to put my shoes on but feel someone grab my wrist, looking back seeing matt, sitting up and looking at me.

one look in that dark room is all it took, matt grabbing his keys as i grab my coat.

the car ride filled with his lighthearted jokes and small talk as he pulls up to our usual coffee spot, the time now being midnight.

we order and sit down outside, admiring eachother.

i look down at his chain seeing how bright the light is reflecting off of it, confusion filling my eyes.

"look up" he says, snapping me out of my trance seeing the bright sky filled with stars and a full moon.

the drive home was filled with a silence i could feel, something felt different.

we get home to the completely dark house, giggling our way upstairs, trying to keep quiet.

we make it to matt's bedroom finally, that silence, his arms, everything overtaking me

one of those feelings being realization, i would never tell him this but i knew what it was.

i'm in true love.

the next morning comes sooner then expected, except i wake up alone, and not in matt's arms.

i smell breakfast cooking downstairs and i check my phone seeing the day sunday.

i put matts shirt on heading downstairs.

"goodmorning, you sleep well?" he says with a smile and i laugh at the catastrophe he's made in the kitchen

"is that my shirt?" he says and i ignore his question by asking him one.

"so you kept your word huh? you making breakfast every sunday?" i ask with a smile and he nods, handing me a plate

i smile at the burnt toast he hands me.

finishing breakfast, we take a walk on the sidewalk of the beach, bickering and talking, our hands interlocked the whole time.

we walk for what feels like hours, not even noticing that the sun has started to go down.

spending the day with matt being all i've ever wanted.

we continue our walk, heading to the beach instead of walking on the sidewalks.

we sit on the sand, overlooking the water together and i start to think about us, me and matt.

i think- i think i love him, but does he? is it too soon to say it?

i get snapped out of my trance by matt tackling me, us rolling on the sand together in a fit of laughter.

"matt! stop!" i say in between laughs as he hovers over me with a strange look on his face as our laughter dies down.

"what?" i ask, quietly.

"you're my best friend" he says, looking me in the eyes with pure passion.

and even though i didn't wanna get my hopes up, i knew what it was.

he is in love.

that was yesterday.

my feelings scare me, i can't put them into words, so i've been at my house avoiding it all.

checking the time, it's now midnight. i can't do this anymore, i need to tell him.

driving to matts house, the only sound being the pouring rain, the roads being completely dark, the adrenaline and need to see him and tell him

i pull into the driveway, getting out of my car and making view with matts window

i know its cheesy, but the only thing i could think of doing was throwing rocks at his window.

i grab ones small enough to make a noise, but not enough to break the window.

after a few rocks hit the window, i see him open his window looking down at me with sleepy eyes and a smile

"matt i- come down i feel like an idiot." i yell and he closes his window.

the front door opens after a minute and i run up to him hugging him.

a hug that didn't make me realize anything, a hug that confirmed everything.

the picture of me in his phone case, the midnight coffee runs, it was all so simple i've just never seen it.

i can hear it in the silence, i can feel it when he drives me home, i can see it with the lights out, i'm in love, true love.

the rain falling down my face mixed with the tears aren't much, but it said enough.

"matt i love you, and i didn't know how to put it into words but now i see how clear it is, it's you matt, it always has been, i love you, i'm in love with you." i confess.

" i know baby, i love you too, more then you'll ever know." he says, cupping my cheek and kissing me.

the kiss feeling like the first one i've ever had, a kiss i'll never forget.

i pull away, him putting our foreheads against each other.

i laugh, my tears having a different meaning then they did before, walking up to my car playing the first song i can think of

you are in love by taylor swift

i look over to him and he rolls his eyes

"really?" he says in a sarcastic tone

"cmonnn you know you want to" i tease and he laughs

we interlock hands, dancing, completely drenched at midnight, having the time of our lives.

kicking water at eachother, laughing, dancing, yelling.

this is all i'll ever needed.

we're in love.

[margoshamangolord]

FOLKS I FINISHED BEAST WARS (thoughts and spoilers under cut)

1. The timeline is absolutely unique, i love how optimus and megatron aren't even optimus and megatron and how bw relates to g1

2. The graphics will never be an issue to me, it's more than enough for the time period and it's much more than watchable. I'm in love with the slimy cgi and didn't pay much attention to the quality. All i can see is designers and animators having fun

3. I think that the designs gradually got a little fucked up but it's okay

4. I really enjoyed Blackarachnia's character, she was so interesting for me! I'm not aware of the fandom's general opinion on her but she's my special girl now

5. There was like at least 5 times more on-screen gay kissing than straight kissing

6. If you didn't understand how insane i am about dinotrap from my previous posts then now i can say it's my #1 pairing,, i rarely have a fav ship when i watch something because of The Multishipper Curse that makes me think about too much characters together but for bw specifically i have a favourite. Usually I'm a little turned away from dynamics that are built on characters insulting each other but it's a special case, because they definitely share a bond and i can ramble for hours

7. Bw optimus is my 3rd place fav after tfp and tfa respectively (because they're a classic) (even though i know it's not even him) he's very much of a Some Guy who is Hungry And Needs a Nap and i like how he's just. a person. like a leader but he's just a guy come on. probably for the same reasons i love tfa op, i like seeing him get mean and angry and worried and yelling at his team and then understanding that he was wrong. my man

8. The predacons are so chaotic it's insane. The lack of a (main character i mean) Starscream is not noticed because there's not one con trying to take over, not two, not three, but I'm pretty sure everyone in the whole goddamn team has attempted it at least one time during the show.

9. And, with lack of Starscream, Megatron took all the cuntiness for himself. He stands out insanely among other continuities (again it's not him so). That voice? Thanks David Kaye!!! He's doing the whole dramatic hot villain thing that Tumblr loves, with blood baths and everything, and it deserves to be noticed. Megop is the classic tumblr dramatic villain x tired hero stuff you see in like 2016 writing prompts and everything. Megatron is insane here

10. I really enjoyed Dinobot. I cannot say this loud enough but he is my second fav after Rattrap because he's a really interesting and conflicted character. You see him as inherently evil? He does a beautiful gesture of kindness. You see him as good? He fails to disobey his nature. It goes on and on until his last eps. The betrayal? I was sobbing. That scene when he's on his knees with a sword? It fucked me up. The episode ending had me on the FLOOR.

11. I'm conflicted on dinobot 2 because on one hand, i do appreciate how it is shown how actually fucked up megatron and his schemes are. He's insane, and he's obsessed: he doesn't try to make any super soldier or whatever, but specifically wants to bring back dinobot and make him stay. And he fails, because it *is* dinobot deep inside, and that brings him down; his real sense of honor. He won't stay. His sacrifice was insane. But on the other hand, i actually didn't want Dinobot to be actually brought back. Sounds very nice but i think his actual death was really a point to his character that made me love him more. And when i saw Dinobot 2, i was kinda hoping that he would be an empty shell, an attempt, that it would be a plan Megatron put too much hope into, and that it's *not* dinobot, just a copy without a mind. Maybe im just weird sorey

12. Transmutate is gender

13. I love rhinox but it's sad that they didn't make him stand out as a character like the other maximals. He rarely got to be a main character, and even when he got to, he was just the butt of a joke and didn't get to build relationships and resolve personal problems like his teammates did. Or maybe i just wasn't looking at the screen when he did who knows. He's my big weird man

14. I enjoyed Tigatron and his conflict about the conflict so much

15. I'm actually sometimes a little disoriented/lost when watching something so i just straight up didn't notice half the character deaths??? I was just wondering where they went and then went oh.

16. who the Vok are the Vok. I wish they weren't Just Mysterious Aliens but more than that

17. Why did they keep making all of the characters so trans it's not funny im in tears

18. Beast wars was absolutely made for goddamn freaks im sorry. i loved it

19. I think everyone at the studio was gay for megatron. Why else did they animate the scene where he's in the bath wiggling his dinosaur toes

20. WASPINATOR FUCKING HAPPY AT LAST

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapters #00-01

all | next

lets fucking do this

I'm annotating every chapter of trigun, both the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read). Literally just writing down everything I notice about details, version differences, translation notes, etc. and also being gay about the characters. happy pride month

I had other stuff to do today yesterday so I only got through a little bit but pace will pick up tomorrow today (1 volume/week is faster than i thought...)

Here are the beloved non-analysis sillies...

And there are just so many annotation images so I just put the rest under the cut <3 read my notes boy

[edit: why aren't the images not being side by side like i want them to i hate this. here's the url for my blog page with correct formatting] [edit 2: i guess it's only on desktop, not on mobile. so that's good]

First thing I noticed was the difference in the number of volumes, or the number of chapters in each volume. In my JP copy, volume 1 ends at Chapter #07: Rem, while Overhaul (and I assume every version after the first JP print) ends at #12: River of Life.

Anyways onto the actual images

21st of July - !! didn't notice [that the July incident actually happened in July] during 1st read b/c months are only numbers in Japanese 11 hours after destruction - July incident was 2am

For some reason I thought he was standing this whole time. unneccesary details georg

Estimated age: 24 - Official age for his appearance? dang he's young Appearance - "Place of origin/birth," not "what he looks like" The worst kind of outlaw, and an unrivalled killer. - Added in a later version? (not in my JP copy but the phrase is familiar)

This blank space originally had the Japanese translation for the board.

We see his serious expression already! I don't remember '98 doing so this early on so it's pretty notable to me...

Just thinking about how Vash counted each individual gunshot being fired during all that chaos... dear god.... During my first read/watch I thought it was just silly Rule of Cool protagonist moment but not really. This guy actually has Insane perception, either from being a plant or sheer practice. Or both.

Also immediately after all that, I really love the way the aftermath is shown here. The only things you can hear are the creaks of the light and the crying boy. It really brings out the tension in the atmosphere.

Finally, something other than unneccesary bits! If you look at the flooring under the toy gun, the perspective lines are pointing SW-NE. This corresponds to the flooring on Vash's right, whose right arm is also suspiciously out-of-frame... This is definitely the moment he took the toy gun. I can't express the amount of Holy Shit I felt when I realized this. The detail!!!!! man!!!!!!!!!

There's a little translation error here - it should be something like "Even if he were still alive, he wouldn't be able to move an inch!"

One of my favorite Vash moves with one of my favorite Tumblr heritage posts.

This is not really based on any drawn details, but I think this is the moment that Vash readies the toy gun, puts it in his pocket, and picks up the ketchup. Do Not trust this man when his arm is not visible. Also finger still in gun <3 doing his part blocking one bullet at a time

And here we have Vash's first COOL cool moment!!!!!! cue my homo screaming. goddddddddd im so mentally unwell about him. agh I also absolutely love when Nightow does that thing where he screen-tones a character's skin just because. It pops!! It's unique!! I love it!! I eat it up every time!!!

Here's where I realize that Vash's hair antennae are pointing straight up. I should be on the lookout for when he makes the transition to the M-shaped antennae we know and love.

Also, a little untranslatable joke from the Japanese version. In Japanese, this guy calls out at Vash like "And you, don't provoke him!" except it's written with the kanji for "Hunter" (狩人 karyūdo), with a ruby pronunciation note saying "you" (おまえも omaemo). These kanji/ruby mismatch jokes are never not funny and it's so sad that there's no way to keep them in without doing...this lol

The "I counted!" reveal never fails to get me. holy shit. I love the little boy's expression when he gets his gun back :) You helped!!! and you don't have to have the real deal to be cool as balls!!!

Just lumping this with the previous two because it's a tall image, but another small translation error. Rather than being about doing harm, he's talking about recieving it (～～はゴメンだ is a hard-to-catch phrasing/idiom; it's already been discussed with the translator on a different instance). It should be more like "[...But] nobody likes getting hurt, right?"

THE GIRLIES YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not including the dialogue because. y'know. At least they get (accidentally) Bonked by Millie :) get their asses

Here, the order suggestion is made by somebody off-screen, but in the first edition, it was made by the cook himself. (left image annotation says "the storekeeper(cook) is so nice!")

That's it for chapters #00-01! I'm going to keep having Category 5 Autism Events every day aren't I.

It's literally 1:20am as of finishing this post because my computer won't stop crashing. Posting this first thing in the morning tomorrow <3

Also, the Japanese copy of the annotations will be in the reblogs for anyone who wants to see them. The emotions are Rawer and they're phrased way less awkwardly... if you can read them lol

[agendabymooner]

wild ! max v. x ofc (hearth sister!ofc) - tltl series

“‘cause when you look like that i’ve never ever wanted to be so bad.”

summary: sylvie came to the realization that a) she couldn't stop smiling at max's texts and b) she's in love with max. she only admitted to the latter when christian horner pointed the obvious. (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)(9)(10)(11)

content warning: extremely incomplete piece, max being thirsty, christian horner being cool for once, use of explicit language, "they're just friends" trope, simp!max and simp!ofc, textfic + written (mari's mom = ofc + mari's dad = max)

note: i need to write my essay lolololol chile anyways enjoy xx

masterlist

Being allowed to work remotely was one of the best things that could’ve happened to Sylvie. The Haute Couture Paris Fashion Week came around way too quickly yet juggling two works at once was easily managed by her. Thank god for her manager. 

As soon as she flew to France to begin her week, her hands immediately turned off her airplane mode to contact Max and Daniel about Marinara. It was saddening having to travel away from the puppy, most of Sylvie’s support system were all at the same location to rest before the Austrian GP while she was in Paris to put on her best resting bitch face while she walked down and impress the front row guests with the newest collection made by the designer. She hated being away from Marinara. Especially when she was in Netherlands with her stupid fucking father that Sylvie called Max Verstappen.

Just as she was prepping for her first show, she immediately called for her manager to ask for her wired earphones. She immediately plugged it in and answered Max’s call. 

“I’m only an hour ahead of you lots,” Sylvie deadpanned, leaving Max to screech out in laughter. 

“What do you mean? I’m just saying hi,” Max exclaimed. He was in his room, Sylvie assumed.

“Where’s my baby?” 

“Right here,” he joked, showing his full face. Sylvie raised a brow, trying to figure out whether to laugh at his face or just ask him again. She did neither and took a screenshot of their FaceTime call— most of which was just his face. Perfect blackmail material. “Just joking. Nara is… with Blue Jaye and Victoria right now. I think Blue’s more excited about the puppy than Vic was.” 

“She was just telling me how she was pumped on seeing Marinara days ago,” Sylvie replied while she had her eyes shut, her makeup artist dabbing on some foundation in the process. 

“She thought that you’re the one heading here,” Max snorted. “She got too excited with you coming; she didn’t think it’d be a mini you instead.” 

“Hadn’t meant to disappoint her that much,” Sylvie rolled her eyes, “glad to hear Jaye’s loving Nara.” 

“Oh definitely,” Max nodded, shifting around his room while his front camera showed his moving figure. “It didn’t help that you’re not here though. Can you believe that? Two of my sisters are looking for you instead of me— their own brother.”

“I’d get excited about my sisters too, to be fair,” she held the microphone of her wired earphones close to her mouth as she continued to get her face covered in cosmetics. 

“You don’t have a brother,” Max deadpanned. “Even your stepbrothers wouldn’t cut the standards you’ve had.” 

“Don’t be too sad about them getting excited about seeing me,” Sylvie snorted before she casually told him, “if it makes you feel better, I’m excited to see you in Austria.” 

“Oh real comforting,” Max mockingly sighed. Sylvie’s eyes narrowed slightly as he continued, “Sylvie’s excited to see me. Yay Max, I guess.”

“No need to be an arsehole about it, you utter twat—“ she ended the call halfway through. She wasn’t truly offended, she just felt the need to act the part. 

She then looked up at the makeup artist as the woman asked, “Calling him back, love?”

“Pft, he can wait,” Sylvie took off her earphones and waved off before she continued getting her makeup done. Hearing a ping, she peered down on her screen and grinned at the text. 

Mari’s Dad: I can’t even not laugh at your face when you get upset 😂 anyways talk to u l8r Mustang — send me best pics from miumiu whenever u can!! 

Mari’s Dad: also, I am happy to hear that ur excited to see me next weekend 😁 can’t wait to see u!!!

Mari’s Mom: I’m so mad. I literally ran barefoot to the pastry store across the Hotel Ritz before closing and they didn’t even have any strawberry macarons left wtffff

Mari’s Dad: Yikessss 😬😬 do they have any pistachio though

Mari’s Mom: I was going to play with fire if they didn’t

Mari’s Dad: Hey, don’t say that. Be grateful they even sold those pistachio macarons to you. 

Mari’s Mom: It’s not everyday they see a supermodel run across the street with no shoes on just because she’s craving for macarons. 

Mari’s Dad: Fair enough 🤷‍♀️ maybe you can ask Christian to have some in display at the hospitality? 

Mari’s Mom: Hell no 💀 I’m desperate but not that desperate

Mari’s Dad: Still holding a grudge against him? In this economy? 

Mari’s Mom: No not really. He just annoys me.

Mari’s Dad: You sound like Toto. 

Mari’s Mom: Fear me then, Max 😈😈

Mari’s Dad: I can’t do that when I literally saw you trip and eat shit back when we were six lol

Mari’s Mom: I can’t be arsed with this conversation anymore 😭 

Mari’s Dad: Finally out of argument??? 😳😳

Mari’s Mom: Stop being a dickhead and let me enjoy my treats 😭 it’s not easy for us people with anxiety these days and all we want is a tray of macarons. 

Mari’s Dad: Fly to Amsterdam then. I won’t bother you anymore.

Mari’s Mom: You won’t bother me in texts but you’d be bothering me in real life 😬 I have three more days before i deal with that.

Mari's Mom: Btw, don’t be fucking stupid with Daniel during the week alright? If I hear from either of you PR managers that you can’t sit through a recording without giving them a headache I’m literally gonna cause problems for Christian— and you do not want ME to cause problems for YOUR team principal of all people. 

Mari’s Dad: Damn 😭 why did I get a business talk and why are you telling me this??? Daniel should be the one who should get the PR/marketing talks not me

Mari’s Mom: Lederhosen. That’s all I can tell you. If I hear anything about you two ripping your trousers I’m gonna have to mathematically figure out how you’d do that to a leather piece. 

Mari’s Dad: Does this mean you’re wearing a dirndl too???

Mari’s Mom: Of course I will. It’s Austria and it’s Red Bull’s home country. Also, don't push your fucking luck, you’re not allowed to point out that I’m even wearing them.

Mari’s Dad: Yes ma’am

Max: Hey Christian. Out of curiosity, you wouldn’t mind seeing if you can request for some macarons for the Austrian GP right? Some pistachio and strawberry ones, mostly?

Christian Horner: Hello Max. That’s quite a peculiar request but why not. I don’t handle these things but I’ll see what the hospitality manager can do. 

Max: Thank you. 

Christian Horner: I wouldn’t be shocked if this was all for Sylvie. 

Max: I said THANK YOU, Christian.

Christian Horner: Yeah yeah, don’t worry about it lad.

AUSTRIAN GP

Dressed in her Austrian folk wear and a rather fitting pair of shoes for them, Sylvie ensured that the embroidered Red Bull logo remained visible from the waistline of her apron. The dirndl fitted her so well, the tea length dress just reaching her calf. The Austrian Grand Prix was on the go, and this was just her first day after returning from the fashion week. It was Thursday. Most of them had gotten here earlier this week, only waiting for her to arrive. 

Just as she stepped out of the garage, many fans had gotten a glimpse of her as they called and asked for her attention. She gracefully did so, waving her hand every once in a while before resting both of her hands behind her back. She wandered off while cameras took her picture as she made her way towards the paddock area. 

“Mustang!” Her eyes were trained on the group of people who surrounded her nephew as she made her way towards them. Tilly hadn’t worn her dirndl and it was obvious that Toto hadn’t put on his lederhosen, but Max and Daniel were dressed in folk wear. Soren Wolff was relaxed on Toto’s arms, obviously not feeling anything of discomfort from wearing the little lederhosen that Tilly had slipped on him earlier today. 

And while nobody hadn't noticed, Max's eyes were trained on her figure. Shit.

He can die a happy man.

“Oh wow,” Sylvie exclaimed, grinning at the now-bouncing baby in Toto’s arms. “Look at you, my little man. You are sooooo handsome, Soren!” 

“Thanks, that’s all me,” Toto joked, grinning at the girl as he continued, “you look very beautiful as well, Sylvie.”

“So I’ve been told by countless photographers,” Sylvie laughed, still waving at Soren as he squealed. Her fingers reached for his tummy, making the baby squirm.

“You’re too late for the party,” Daniel joked. “They’ve told me how hot I was and how willing they were to rip this off of—“

“Mother of god— Daniel,” Tilly groaned in annoyance before swatting the Red Bull driver on the chest. Daniel wheezed, trying to catch his breath as Max and Sylvie cackled. The laughter shared between the two caught the baby off-guard as his dark eyes widened, his head moving to his left and right in confusion. 

“Did Uncle Max and Auntie Sylvie surprise you, schatzi?” Toto grinned down at his son. The laughter was long gone, the Mercedes-AMG team principal looking up to see Max peering down at the skirt as Sylvie began frolicking and twirling around.

She was obviously telling Max about how perfectly the dirndl fitted her, but Max’s eyes were drawn on the legs underneath the fabric.

She was gorgeous, indeed, but Max could wash his mouth with soap if he ever mentioned that she was… hot. He wasn’t about to get smacked in the head for telling her how heavenly she looked in both dirndl and clothes she wore when she walked down the runway a few days ago. 

And when the Dutchman looked up again, he swore not to get caught by Toto ever again. The Austrian held a glare in his face that told him enough about the dangers of ogling.

Her eyes were sparkling as her mouth chewed on the strawberry macaron, grinning at the taste. She had a diet plan, sure, but eating one or five macarons wouldn’t hurt. She was on a break, after all.

“Don’t finish the whole tray, my love,” she scowled lightly before facing the man who spoke behind her. Christian grinned mischievously as he continued, “Save some for the guests.”

Did she mention she was fairly close to reaching her period days, too?

“I wish I can quit right now,” She murmured while she continued chewing on the food, making her boss laugh lightheartedly. “I’m on a break, Christian.”

“I know— I actually assumed I’d find you in front of the macaron display and look!” Christian gestured to her.

“Does your wife know you’re annoying?” Sylvie shot back. 

Christian shrugged, “It’s mostly reserved for you and Toto. I’m glad you’re liking the delicacies though— I know how rough your week went.”

Was she ever thankful to have him as a boss? She actually grew quite fond of him as months went on. Christian Horner was a prat at the very beginning, but she supposed that making him own up to his mistake at the very beginning would eventually make him more cautious and accommodating to everyone. 

Sylvie’s scowl disappeared as she swallowed the rest of her macaron and murmured, “Thank… Thanks.”

Christian waved her off, “Don’t thank me. Thank your best friend, if anything.”

“Best friend?” Sylvie repeated.

“Yeah,” Christian nodded, clapping her on the shoulder as he said, “the boy was practically on his knees when he asked to have those for the hospitality. You two have a bad habit of munching on those macarons in every race and between the two of you— Max eats the chocolate and espresso ones more than you do. The lad knows you’d kill for strawberry and pistachio— so maybe let him know you like him too?”

Sylvie pondered what he said for a second. How the fuck did Christian even know Sylvie loves Max? Wait, why was she even openly admitting that she loves him? And Max loves her?

What the hell was going on?

But the words that escaped her mouth was, “He was on his knees asking for macarons in the hospitality?”

“Oh, dear God. You two are just as oblivious as you can get.”

She liked Christian Horner, indeed, but maybe pointing out the most obvious to an oblivious woman wasn't the brightest idea he had ever done. Because now she wasn't only oblivious- she was fucking paranoid and in love.

Talk about playing with fire.

[sendhearthhome]

Zuko and Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

“The who's who of who's that? / Is poised for the attack / But my bare hands paved their paths / You don't get to tell me about sad / If you wanted me dead, you should've just said / Nothing makes me feel more alive / So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street / Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream / Who's afraid of little old me? / You should be”

This whole first chunk, to me, is Zuko confronting Ozai in Book 3 episode 11 The Day of the Black Sun Pt 2

“The scandal was contained”

Book 1 E12 The Storm, Zuko’s crew thought Zuko had been burned in a training accident, not by his own father

“The bullet had just grazed”

Within the theme of abuse, Ozai and Azula minimise the abuse Zuko endured, Ozai just 'grazed' Zuko’s face

“At all costs, keep your good name / You don't get to tell me you feel bad”

Ozai keeps his reputation, while Zuko is banished to spend over 3 years trying to get his honour back (which he never truly lost)

“Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one more joke / Then we could all just laugh until I cry / So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street / Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream / Who's afraid of little old me?”

“I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean”

Zuko was a gentle child, but Ozai thought he was too soft. The circus life can connect to the pageantry and brutality of the Fire Nation Empire

“Don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth”

In Book 2, when he’s a refugee, Zuko feels humiliated and powerless, having gone from a prince to a ‘nobody’, his shame critically culminates here in Ba Sing Se

“Who's afraid of little old me? / Well, you should be (you should be) / So tell me everything is not about me / But what if it is?”

“Then say they didn't do it to hurt me / But what if they did?”

Ozai burned Zuko to “teach him respect” but really, it was just abuse

“I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me / You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me”

These two lines truly encapsulate the rage of realising how fucked up your childhood was only once you’re out of it. You couldn’t see it when you were in it but you survived hell, and now that you understand that, you’re so fucking angry

“So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs / I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all say? / That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn / That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong / Putting narcotics into all of my songs / And that's why you're still singing along”

People have preconceived notions about Zuko: he’s spoiled, selfish, and volatile. While these are areas where Zuko has genuine growth in the series, it is important to remember that they’re used by adults in the Fire Nation (ex. Ozai and Zhao) to discredit and demean him

“So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street / Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream / Who's afraid of little old me? / I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean / Don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth / Who's afraid of little old me? / Well, you should be (you should be)”

“'Cause you lured me / And you hurt me / And you taught me / You caged me and then you called me crazy / I am what I am 'cause you trained me”

 Zuko’s autonomy and free will are really what led him to join the Gaang. He realises he never deserved Ozai’s abuse, never lost his honour, and his actions are his own. 

But you can’t deny the poetry of ‘you created the thing that destroyed you in the end’

“So who's afraid of me? / Who's afraid of little old me? / Who's afraid of little old me?”

I lowkey want to write a zuko-centric song fic...

Let me know what you think and if you interpret the song differently!! <3

[teiura]

My thoughts on the whole “Angels are killed by angelic weapons” thingy

Now as many have started speculating since our first introduction to Carmila Karmine (in ep 3 if i remember corectly) it seemed, since Carmilla was able to kill an angel while trying to protecte her daughters(and in that moment in time she most likely didn’t know that she will be able to succeed, thus trying to sacrifice herself) that the plot was moving to the direction of “angelic beings can only be killed by a selfless act”. This is also indicated by the lyrics of the song “Out for Love” in which Carmilla basically tells Vaggie if you want to win you have to fill your heart with love for those dear to you. This would also make sense lore wise, you can not tell me that not one single person in 10.000 years has tried to kill angels before with angelic weapons.

It feels like they changed trajectory at the half way point because the final end battle would not play out the same if we go for the “love overpowers all” since the army behind Charlie,the cannibals, are doing it for selfish reasons, aka wanting to taste angel flesh. I think they could’ve written a more compelling story had they stuck with what they hinted as originally. Subverting expectations isn't always the best route to take.Here’s my take:

The battle would commence and it would be a bloody bath, leaving our MC in a state of disbelief, regret, and blaming themselves for the deaths of so many. While Charlie is distracted, not being able to hold up defense for all the hotel members, Sir pentious spots an angel trying to stab Cherri from behind. He leaps in front of her taking the blow, while also managing to fately injure the angel. The other angels get scared at the sight of their fellow exterminator’s death and flee the scene since they have never seen it happen either and become scared of dying. Leaving only Adam and Lute behind.

From than on the story plays on like how it originally did in the actual show after they call for falling back. Seeing the deaths of so many who were lead by her, trusted her, believed in her, would definitely scar Charlie, still sticking to her morals, hopes and dreams but maturing a bit more, being less trusting, more cautious. This also revealing to everyone how sinners can defeat exorcists. It would also make Sir Pentious’s death hit harder, not like how it was made into a joke in the show.

It took me less than half an hour the come up with this. I love the show, I enjoyed it a lot, I’ve been a fan of Viv since i was 11, way before the pilot first aired on youtube, but I am deeply disappointed in the writing, it feels like a slap to the face the whole “angelic weapons work on angels, duh”.

[leejeongz]

hi! so i noticed you write for evnne <3 so if you don’t mind, could you write yunseo staying up with reader as moral support for exam studies or like yunseo quizzing reader? i have a 3 hour exam on thursday 🫶🏼🥹 i need a yunseo in my life fr

it can be a headcanon or whatever you feel like writing too! thank you in advance and i hope you have a wonderful day!! :)

🫧 “can you test me?” 🫧

pairing: boyf!evnne x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: sharing a bed, cuddling, lighthearted teasing

a/n: GOOD LUCK!!! you’re gonna do amazing, i'm sure of it 🤍🫶🏼 i am always rooting for you (yunseo is too!)

11:30, the grandfather clock in the apartment below yours chimed, startling you and making you mess up your writing. you screwed up the flashcard and threw it in the general direction of the bin. it hit the rim and bounced onto the rug. you outstretched your legs and looked up onto your bed from the floor, your eyes meeting with your boyfriend’s, who had been silently reading one of your study guides.

“is it interesting?” you asked, jokingly, taking in the cover of your psychology book.

“oh, very,” he joked along, “why do they all have the same surnames though?” you furrowed your eyebrows as he referred back to the book, “cooper et al, creese et al, marks et al,” he read.

you smiled, almost laughing but stopping yourself at the last minute, “that’s not their surnames, it means “and others,”” you explained, “it’s just used to show that there’s more people who worked on the study.”

“oh,” he looked back at the book, leaning back against your bed and donning a small but noticeable pout.

collecting all of the cards you’d just written from off of the floor, you asked yunseo “can you test me?” you wafted the flash cards above your head cutely, “pleaseee?”

sitting up again, he took them from your hands and patted the bed, beckoning you to sit opposite him to avoid any cheating. “after this, can we go to bed?”

“yes,” you hurried the boy along with the winding motion of your finger as you were pretty tired too, “you’re wasting time!”

“oh right, yeah, okay, um,” he looked at the flashcard in front of him, something completely different from what he’d just been reading. “oh i know this guy, einstein” he pointed to the card while looking at you with a huge, proud grin on his face. you did not reciprocate. “anyway, what is the photoelectric effect?” he read from the card you made a couple hours ago.

“light causing electrons to be emitted from metal?” you hesitantly answered, your voice shaking.

yunseo’s eyes scanned your lengthy written answer, “i think that’s right,” he put it into the empty space on the bed in front of you both and began reading the second one, “what is the emitted electron called as a result of this?”

“photoelectron.” the answer flew out of your mouth before you’d even had time to think. you held your hand up for a high five.

“good!” he jeered, the back of his hand holding the flash cards hit your palm. “y/n, can you tell me,” you looked him dead in the eyes, concentrating fully, raring to go, “what is a photon?”

“packet of light.”

“a what?”

“particle of light, sorry,” you tapped your closed mouth a few times, as if to punish yourself for picking up your professor's bad habits.

by the time the clock rang 12 bells, you’d managed to work through all of your “nature of light” flash cards, but you could tell yunseo was getting bored and tired of it.

“last one,” yunseo yawned, waving the card in the air sluggishly, “what’s the wave model?”

“the idea that light consists of waves,” you waited for yunseo’s sleepy nod before you cheered, “thank you so much for helping me, if i pass, i owe you.” you stood from your bed and picked up the piles of cards, placing them onto your desk instead. you’d only had your back to him for a couple of moments, but when you turned around, yunseo was already in your bed.

“come here,” as you got close enough, his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you towards him. they loosened, “you can pay me back now by turning off the light and getting into bed so we can cuddle.”

“i didn’t pass yet,” you pointed out, flicking the switch and climbing into bed with him anyway.

“i already know that you’re going to,” he placed a lazy kiss on your cheek, “i was your teacher, after all.”

you teasingly pushed yunseo away from you, laughing to yourself, but you soon regretted not being in his arms when you watched him fall fast asleep in a matter of seconds.

[dreamy-love222]

I told my psychiatrist about my rape today. And what happened at my mom’s friends house. And on the outing with her daughter and her horrid friends. The daughter is decent her friends are awful. They vape and make it their whole personality . Their vocabulary is vulgar and they curse every 2 seconds to seem cool. They used me to get food for free and ofc I let people walk all over me and they took advantage of the fact I couldn’t say no.

I hate my life.

Oh one of the boys also put his nasty vape in my mouth as a joke. Ha ha ha so funny. Ugh. I hate it.

And she tried to set me up with two of her guy friends and didn’t respect that I have a boyfriend.

“Who cares he’s in another continent. He won’t know.”

I care. I am as loyal as one can be. My heart is already taken. Also you can keep your Muslim men. I am not that religious and I read multiple religious books but I mostly believe in the sciences. My religion is physics chemistry biology and mathematics. I respect other people’s beliefs but I don’t appreciate it when religious people shove their religious beliefs down my throat. I don’t force people to believe in what I do believe in. So I believe they should do the same.

Just because someone prays and knows religious text by heart doesn’t mean they are better than someone who is confused about which religion is true and if there is a god to begin with.

It’s not fair to blame my rape on the fact I wasn’t close to god. If this is how your god punishes people for simply being confused then he is cruel and I refuse to believe in him and praise him. I was ok before the rape. Granted I was struggling with my ed but I was happy. I was writing my beloved poems and love letters and translating them in his mother tongue. I was going downtown 2 times a day on foot. I was going on long walks on the canal and admiring the beauty of nature and the diversity of the animals there. The flowers, the bees. I was wearing pretty clothes. Putting on expensive perfume. Using my luxury makeup. Buying matcha lattes for lunch.

Now I shake every time I walk alone. I wear anything that would make it harder for someone to rape me.

I hate how it broke me. And then I got the 9/20. It was absolutely heart shattering. It made me feel so bad. When I got my grade I cried for 3 hours that day. I was so depressed. And I got that grade 3 days after getting raped so I was extremely vulnerable. I couldn’t even celebrate my 20/20. Or my other two 19.10/20 and 19.50/20 that I got in Arabic and English. Or my other three +16/20. I have excellent grades over all and that 9 ruined it. Life is unfair. I wrote a letter to the academy asking for a second correction because I was sure I did well on the exam but the corrector didn’t like my dissertation :(. But I did respond accordingly to the problematic. French is my second language too. My French may not be perfect but I did 0 syntax error and there is only 2 points removed max on normal faults. How did 11 points get removed.

[welcomehomerandomness]

Welcome Home Website Update Reaction Notes (7/22/2023) Part 2 (SPOILERS)

Here's Part 2 of my Welcome Home Website Update Reaction Notes (7/22/2023)! Hope you enjoy it!

I went back to the main page but awww cute Wally sprite on the news updates :)

I clicked the Home doodle on the main page and it took me to a page called “I”

“There you are! Welcome Home! Hahaha!” Wally I don’t know whether I can be happy or concerned

I clicked the yellow flower doodle on the What’s Welcome Home page and it took me to a page called “Help”

Yes I can hear you Wally

I clicked the red flower doodle on the What’s Welcome Home page and it took me to a page called “will”

My eyes are black too lol

I clicked the blue flower doodle and it leads me to the same page lol

Every time Sally calls Julie “Juliet” in “answer”, I smile

Also poor Sally telling Julie what she’s saying is not part of the script

I’m guessing every “answer” video is based off of Wally’s POV which is why his hands are shown in like two of them

Also Wally doesn’t seem to talk in any of these videos and all these videos glitch in the end, which is sus

I clicked the yellow flower doodle on the Stickers page and it took me to a page also called “I”

At the end of the http thingy, it says “i-2”

The eyes that Wally drew are kinda creepy lol

I love Julie and Barnaby’s dynamic in “answer” lol

Barnaby fake dying from Julie’s “bad” joke is kinda hilarious

Also Julie’s joke gave me a chuckle lol

Also Barnaby fake dying and jokingly asking Wally to bury him hints on some foreshadowing??? Oh no.

Barnaby and Howdy hanging out in “answer” awww

Also how many family members does Howdy have???

*searches up how many eggs do caterpillars lay* They can lay anywhere from 100 TO 300 EGGS??

SO DOES THAT MEAN HOWDY HAS LIKE A MILLION FAMILY MEMBERS???

*welcomehomerandomness was too stunned to speak and started to have an existential crisis.

W. T. F.

Anyways I wanna eat that strawberry soda pop so bad lol

Also Barnaby mentioning his mom awww

Eddie mentioning that he played hopscotch with Julie on “answer” is so wholesome

Poor Eddie being accident prone :(

Oh god poor Eddie about to be chased by Barnaby lol

THERE ARE HIDDEN EYES ON BOTH SIDES OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD PAGE

Eddie and Howdy in the “answer” video are like co-workers lol

Eddie and Howdy = Hardworking Duo

THERE ARE HIDDEN EYES ON FEW OF THE PAGES ON THE SIDES

I clicked the blue flower doodle on the painting on Wally’s character page and it took me to a page also called “will”

Oh nothing Wally I’m just writing down notes of you and your friends :)

Awww Eddie and Julie are playing office in “answer”

Poor Eddie is so confused

Julie getting upset and destroying stuff in the background is hilarious

Awww a cute Sally and Howdy interaction in “answer”

Also potatoes. That’s it.

One of the boxes is moving!!! It’s Wally!!!

Okay the videos I got so far are (4-14) Frank and Barnaby, (10-14) Sally and Julie, (11-14) Julie and Barnaby, (12-14) Howdy and Barnaby, (9-14) Frank and Poppy, (6-14) Frank and Julie, (1-14) Poppy and Howdy, (2-14) Poppy and Sally, (13-14) Eddie and Howdy, (8-14) Frank and Eddie, (7-14) Julie and Eddie, (3-14) Sally and Howdy, and (5-14) Eddie and Barnaby

I counted and there seem to be 13 “answer” videos in total since there are like 14 videos I can’t find the last one (14-14)  so please let me know if you guys find it please

I can’t believe I spent hours on this website lol

My hands are kinda tired from typing lol

[alintheshitposter]

It is currently 4am in the morning, I can't sleep, so let's do this now. (Pretty sure I've done it before but this is simply going be the updated version🤪)

15 questions + 15 friends; I was tagged by @spezialgelagerte-rokokokokotte thanking youuu <3

It got quite long, so I'll put a cut here😅

1. Are you named after anyone?

No😊 (and I say this confidently because I named myself)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Two days ago, on my birthday (I was just a little emotional), but @maxwellshimbo was there to comfort me💚

3. Do you have kids?

Not of my own, no. And it's unlikely that is ever going to happen.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I did ballet as a kid but quickly got tired of it and started playing football, which I technically STILL play (it's been 84 14 years💀) but I am falling out of love with it. I used to do archery for like a year which I absolutely loved and hope to do again sometime! I'm in a club for lifeguarding (German peeps will probably have heard of DLRG👀) so I spent quite some time at the swimming pool as well. Though I am not as active in actual training anymore. And I did ballroom dancing for a while. Like standard and latin dances. My favourite was probably Cha Cha Cha and my least favourite was definitely Quickstep😵‍💫 it was fun tho! I danced with one of my best friends and I did the leading parts which made me feel kind of gender euphoric. I also like to go for a run every now and then but overall I'd consider myself a not so sporty person. I like to relax a lot🥴

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I cannot live without. It just comes naturally.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Just the overall vibe I guess. And whether I like them or not.

7. What is your eye colour?

It says blue-grey on my ID but I've been told they're actually more green-ish and I kind of agree.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I don't like scary movies, I think they're ridiculous.

9. Any talents?

Hm. Well...my dad jokes are pretty good🤪 but apart from that...I guess I'm quite creative?🤷🏻 I speak 3 languages fluently? I can touch my tongue to my nose? Idk xD

10. Where were you born?

In some small town in northern Germany. Fellow Germans will probably know it for one (1) big tourist attraction but I'm not going to specify it here.

11. What are your hobbies?

I play theater. I play several musical instruments (bass, flute, ukulele, kalimba and some more but I'm not as good). I like taking pictures and editing them. Sometimes I write fanfic and/or poetry. And I like to relax in my bean bag🥴

12. Do you have any pets?

I have a cat but I haven't lived with her in 3 years. (Due to an allergy🤧 and me moving out of my parents' house.) I visit her from time to time tho!

13. How tall are you?

It used to be 1,68m on my ID but I recently had to renew it and now it says I'm 1,71m...I think I might actually be smaller than that though🥴

14. Favourite subject in school?

Always all the languages. Never any of the sciences. I loved music class as well. And all the school bands I played in. I miss that.

15. Dream job?

Please, that is the WORST question you could ask me right now😩 I feel a little lost. I'm currently studying to be a translator but is it what I really want? I don't know ;-; I miss working at the kindergarten lately. But I don't know if I'd wanna do that full time either. I'm so insecure and I hope I'll figure it out soon.

Phew. This took me almost an hour. Well. Let's see if I can fall asleep now. 1½ hours left until my alarm goes off. Good night😴

No pressure tags: @daughterofhecata @miaisreadytorun @bistdueinbaum

[allwaswell16]

I was tagged by @magicalrocketships thank youu! ily!

Name: Anitra

Sign: Libra

Time: 1:47

Last movie: Oof I hardly ever watch movies. I think the last one I saw was Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse. I took my kids to see it and I actually really loved it. Do documentaries count as movies? If they do, then I just watched Class Action Park a few days ago.

Last show: The last one I watched was Barry. Still midway through Season 2 of that one.

When I created this blog: 2014

Other blogs: fades into the bushes like Homer Simpson, listen I'm always doing 50 things at once, okay?

@hlficlibrary - my Louis/Harry fic rec blog

@letsdocuboutit - my newest one! for my new podcast!

@1dmonthlyficroundup - where I roundup all the current 1d fics each month!

@louisrarepairfest - for the currently posting Louis rare pair fest I run

@soulmatesabroad - for a past fic fest I ran for 3 years and might run again

@1dbreakupfest - ran this fest once and might run it again someday

@podfic-pals - member of this one where we post 1d podfics!

whispers should I talk about the other ones? lol FINE

@louli5ever - dedicated to Oli and the Louli friendship, is it fairly extensive for something that's kind of a joke? maybe.

@hotguyluke - dedicated to Louis' hot friend Luke. Is this also fairly extensive for someone we rarely see? also yes. I don't do things half way, okay?

Let's pretend there aren't any more, okay? Those were the sort of active ones.

Do I get asks/may you ask me something: Yep! Mostly I get asks about fics, but sometimes I write silly things in the tags, feeling like I'm talking to myself and then someone will send me an ask about them and I'm like oh yeah you can all see these

Average hours of sleep: Sighhhhhhhhhhh. I try to sleep from 11-7. Do I sleep from 11-7? No. I probably get to sleep closer to midnight. And since June I have had nightmares almost every single night. Yay. They wake me up multiple times and then I go back to sleep to endure more nightmares before I wake up at 7. So much fun. Yes, I've gone back to therapy.

Instruments: I wish! My son takes drum lessons so I'm living vicariously for now.

What I’m wearing: I wear Louis merch almost every single day, but you've caught me on an off day. I have a pink sweatshirt on that's from my local zoo and some navy blue pants with a white graphic pattern on them and pink Care Bear socks. I have 3 types of hoodies...Louis, Chicago Cubs, and my local zoo. I do not know why I have decided these three things are my entire personality, but oh well.

Dream job: I used to say writer. But I don't know if I want to do that professionally anymore. Or at least I don't think I want to be a fiction writer as a job. And the reason for that is that I love it too much. I love writing so much and it has always been such a huge part of who I am. Do I want to make it into something else? Do I want it to be a job that I "have" to do? Will it still be fun? Will it turn into a chore? I can't stand the thought that I could lose that joy. This is going to maybe piss some writers off lol, but I've never experienced writer's block. I've never sat down and been unable to write something. I'm always writing the exact thing that I want to write in that moment. It's one of the luckiest best things about me. What I've kind of turned to now is podcasting because it is something that I enjoy that I think I'm kind of good at and that I could potentially monetize one day. And it does involve writing because I have to write up notes and talk about something. But that's not really the same as writing a story. blah blah blah sorry this was so long.

I'll tag: @dearlou @noellehenry-original @gaycousinlarry @fallinglikethis @ohharold @joliepetitelou @statementlou and anyone else who wants to do this just say I tagged you!

[eddievansick]

No joke left behind

I had just begun to start my latest comeback. And I do TikToks and send them to Instagram too, but I try not to do anything on Facebook because of all the hackers and Facebook's constant desire NOT to do anything about hackers or cloned accounts. I have some content on YouTube too, but I have either been working way too many hours just to survive, so comedy wasn't possible for the 10 or so years. But I was doing good back in the day and with about 1000 followers I was on my way to making it. But I got hurt at work and the government had different plans for my life, basically to end it, but I'm not gonna get into that right now. Maybe later tho.

So I came up with an idea. I was gonna pool all my jokes, new and old, together, make a list, and get back out there. But money gets tight and Im struggling with a few injuries that caused my early retirement, so I decided to do albums. All the jokes about my son on one album (which I planned to do for a few years), then all my taxi jokes, complete with all the jokes about my gps girlfriend, Samantha (I still miss her. Every time a use my phones gps I think about her), and then all the "crazy" jokes, which basically covers everything.

But as I dove into my project I started to relive the past 12 years of my life, and I didn't realize that was gonna happen. Its depressing. You have no idea how depressing.

My plan was to go through a list that an old girlfriend made for me when I first started doing comedy. Then to go through both my phones for jokes I texted and sent, or didn't send, then go through all my emails. Then I was gonna go through my Facebook and all other social media sites for all those jokes. And of course all my TikTok and Instagram. But when I got to the Facebook it all hit me. I had deleted my first 3-4 Facebook sites, mainly because of all the hackers on Facebook and the silencing of political truth and their extreme far left agenda, but the last one I took screenshots of so I didn't lose the content. Some were jokes, some were memories. And not all the memories were good. Especially the last 11 years.

And i'm ocd so when I save something on the pc, or send a joke or another writing, i usually send it to more than 1 other source, and sometimes to 4 other sources. Then I move it and save it again so I don't lose it. Then I use it again and save it all over, and repeat what I see is a vicious cycle. Some things I had saved almost 2 dozen times and now I was reliving the last 12 years of my life almost 2 dozen times. And it was depressing.

So I came up with a better idea. I'll write a book. It'll start with all the jokes about my son in chronological order, then go to the taxi and work related jokes, most of which have never been written before, but yep I got them, then the rest of my life, which is basically what I write about because its good to write about things you know, and I know me better than anyone else I know. I've been me for over 60 years now and, well, nobody does it better. It's not easy being me, don't get it wrong. In fact its torture sometimes, but I gotta be me, nobody does it better. I got experience like I said. In fact, one time at one job, as we were leaving for union negotiations, a manager joked, "so who is gonna be you now Ed?" And I told her, "well Patty, you can give it it try, but I wouldn't suggest it, not for a minute. Its not easy. Its tough." When we got back from the union vote I asked her, "so how was it?' And she said she didn't last 5 minutes, so I said "i told you so" and we all laughed. Why THEY were laughing I cant tell you. Its not easy being me.

Then from the book I will have a guide for recording the albums, and put everything on TikTok and Instagram. With the book I can do the sitcom and the movie, then do other movies and shows and be rich and famous all for about 6-12 months before I get hit by a truck or die some other way, and become a household name like Heath Ledger or James Dean, and have people cry at my funeral like they ever knew me, and visit my grave and leave their panties, and on and on and on.

But now its time to get serious again about writing. If I make it great, if not oh well. Even now my great-great-great-great-great-great, great, great grandchildren have an inheritance from me. And Im already gonna be a cult classic at least because of my christmas song "Ghetto Hell" and as of this moment I have made a grand total of $14.24 through DistroKid for its distribution to YouTube and all the other social media and streaming services. My great-great-great-great-great-great, great, great grandchildren should be able to split at least $250 by that time. Most comedians never see earnings that high, so thank you to all my fan, and thank you to my family member, and my several other personalities. Had any of the OTHER different personalities checked out Ghetto Hell on YouTube, I would have already been at $15.00 by now, but THAT'S OK! Be that way. See if I care.

The book shall be called No Joke Left Behind

[lylilorden]

12 Questions for 12 Followers

thanks @dreamingthroughthenoise!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

nope! kind of the opposite, almost. ultrasound technology wasnt.... the best..... around when i was born, so my parents were expecting a boy, and then like twelve hours before i was born my mom had a funny feeling and they started shuffling through name books until they found my names. ha, jokes on them i grew up to be agender anyway

2. When was the last time you cried?

idk, probably no more than two days ago. i never used to cry, and now i cry at everything

3. Do you have kids?

i have my internet hellions @potatoesandsadness and @depressedwetnapkin, and also two baby nieces who i love a lot (but who taught me that yeah i probably dont want my own children. they are exhausting)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

mm, i guess? i try to only do it if its obviously a joke bc i have a hard time telling when other people are sometimes, and i dont want anyone to struggle to interpret what im saying

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

in person, probably height? im pretty short so its a notable feature for me. online, i guess whatever the first handful of posts i see from them have in common?

6. What's your eye color?

bluegreengrey. they shift color depending on what im wearing and sometimes with my mood

7. Any special talents?

the first time i cook something it always turns out really well, and im good at remembering numerical passcodes and passwords. it took me exactly one time seeing it used to remember the code to the mail room door at my job (and my reward for that is that my boss always sends me over now to check it lmao)

8. What are your hobbies?

i read a lot, trad pub and fanfic (my favorite novel i've read this year is 'a taste of gold and iron' by alex rowland. my ao3 history is between me, myself, and i. god is not invited to this party, not even by implication). allegedly, i also write fic. im not very good at video games but i love playing uno on discord's knock-off uno app with @quack-snail-umbrella. im taking a ceramics class again bc i really enjoy it and that's the best and easiest way to get my hands on the materials. pressing plants for my collection, and occasionally making really stupid memes in a drawing app to inflict on my discord friends about niche things. does collecting books count as a hobby?

9. What sports do you play/have played?

i did gymnastics as a kid, and ice skating. i did archery in my teens, and nothing else since, bc between those three things ive made every single one of my joints permanently angry at me

10. How tall are you?

5' 2" with a lil upwards wiggle room

11. Favorite subiects in school?

art and history in high school, all my applied botany and ecology type classes im taking currently for my AS right now

12. Dream job?

that's kind of a tough one. i guess anything that helps me make a material, positive impact on the world? im not super picky i just want to not hate my job

tagging: everyone i already tagged up in my answers, @doodle-do-wop @displayheartcode @tethysresort @dear-rat-boi @my-insanity-is-an-artform @flaim-ita @sparklecryptid @chili-the-kid @kanafinwe-makalaure and anyone who feels like doing this