#he sure loves milk

[fish0009]

[laurrelise]

one of my favorite parts about that scene in season 3 episode 7 of the umbrella academy is right after the umbrellas and sparrows “contained” the keugelblitz and celebrate by opening several bottles of alcohol and partying, because in every single shot ben is in, he’s either trying to get himself or five as wasted as possible

[thegreatcrowdragon]

No heterosexual explanation for this

[fossilizedhysterics]

guess who finished tlok tonight and immediately had this come to him in a vision!!!!

[ch1zzie]

The original in the bottom

Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny

[thebiscuitlabryinth]

Cookiekind, in general, seems to hold the strange belief that Shadow Milk Cookie, as the Beast of Deceit, does not understand truth. This is because they have burnt ash for brains, and cannot comprehend that a change in superficial title does not mean that Shadow Milk Cookie is no longer the Master of Knowledge. Even if it did, a deciever can only be effective by understanding the nuance of truth, for the greatest lies are created through its flexibility.

So despite popular opinion, Shadow Milk does recognise, understand and know truth. Well, he knows everything, but especially something as fundamental as that.

Look, here's a truth, right now; Shadow Milk Cookie quite likes Pure Vanilla Cookie, in spite of everything.

Not in the soft, fluffy cotton candy way, of course. Shadow Milk likes Pure Vanilla in the same way a cat likes a mouse, or a researcher likes a test subject, or a puppeteer has a favourite puppet. He likes him because he is a source of entertainment – having such a soft, simple heart makes him fun to watch struggle with silly emotions, and easy to taunt and frazzle. That's all, really. Shadow Milk can't even say he likes him to the point of wanting to crack him open and see what makes him tick, because he doesn't need to. He already knows everything about Pure Vanilla, right down to the composition of the yeast in his body, because he has constantly kept his eyes on him since the start.

It must be said though, if we are to talk in truths, that Shadow Milk may have some biases that make him more invested in Pure Vanilla's continued existence. Namely, the fact that he holds his Soul Jam.

Now, obviously he doesn't like that this little half-cookie, this unworthy, flimsy vessel, holds half his power. On the contrary, it is nothing but an insult to watch him clumsily flaunt it around while Shadow Milk stays unjustly shackled. It is the only transgression Pure Vanilla has ever committed against him, but it is a blasphemous one.

And yet, even with his bubbling rage at the disrespectful theft of his rightful power, Shadow Milk sometimes likes to toy with the idea that he is a gift, a plea for forgiveness from the Witches that he can righteously ignore. After all, Pure Vanilla has his Soul Jam – his, not theirs – and does that not make Pure Vanilla his too?

Naturally, Shadow Milk knows that the Witches are horrible, selfish old tyrants and would not grant him that grace, but that does not change the fact that Pure Vanilla is, for all intents and purposes, his other half. There is something powerful in that knowledge, especially since he knows it would tear Pure Vanilla apart.

So Shadow Milk does like Pure Vanilla quite a lot, even with the full knowledge that he's a dirty little thief, because he is entertaining and, most importantly, he is his.

Now, here is another truth, since we're already on a roll; Shadow Milk Cookie will escape the Seal and get his Soul Jam back.

It's an inevitability, really. Even if Shadow Milk feels like he is absolutely crumbling of boredom stuck in this stupid tree, especially since the rest of the Beasts have one by one drifted into a bitterly restless slumber, they are all far too strong to be contained by a single measly seal forever. The day will come when it gives way beneath the probing of his hands, and with the cracks in the tree nearly large enough for him to stick his fingers through, he knows that day will come much, much sooner than later.

As for what comes after he escapes? Well, Shadow Milk has no concerns there.

The Faerie Cookies may have longer lifespans than average, but sadly that doesn't make them any smarter. It'll be a piece of cake to knead their doughy brains into doing what he wants them to, even with half his power missing. The Guardian is the only one who poses any real threat, and even that has a laughably easy solution, because he certainly isn't immune to crumbling.

Shadow Milk picks at the slim seam of the cracks with hands that are not his own, encouraging them to grow as he takes a moment to fantasise standing over the Guardian's pathetic crumbs.

Speaking of laughably easy solutions, Pure Vanilla is awfully kind to come to Beast-Yeast, right on the cusp of Shadow Milk's escape! Really, Shadow Milk was estatic when he overheard him discussing those travel plans. It saves him the trouble of having to track him down once he's finished freeing his friends and razing the Faeriewoods to the ground.

Even better, having Pure Vanilla around to welcome him back to the free air could prove to be useful. It would be so deliciously poetic, for Pure Vanilla to cut down the tree with his stolen power and set Shadow Milk free with his own hands, offering himself up in a syrupy spotlight to reunite the two lost halves of Knowledge to its true owner.

Shadow Milk could push him into it, he thinks confidently as he twists his claws into the fracture, grappling at the edges to force them wider. He knows Pure Vanilla better than Pure Vanilla knows himself, he is sure. It wouldn't even be hard.

Now, let's review! Shadow Milk Cookie quite likes Pure Vanilla Cookie, that is the first truth. And he will escape the Seal and get his Soul Jam back, that is the second.

These truths coexist, and because they do, Shadow Milk has long decided he won't immediately crumble Pure Vanilla into fine dust when he takes his Soul Jam back.

Oh, he could, and so easily too. Shadow Milk has held Pure Vanilla's hunched form in his palms dozens of times, in the pit of the abyss, has felt how fragile and weak it is – not that Pure Vanilla ever notices, the silly, blind thing. He has curled his claws around his silhouette like a cage countless times, and entertained and irritated himself with how easy it would be to crush him in one fell swoop.

Yes, he could crumble him without a second thought, but that wouldn't be much fun, would it? It's not like he needs to destroy him to be able to retrieve his Soul Jam, and really, it would be a bit of a waste. He's been waiting to meet him – really, truly meet him – for oh so long, to get rid of him immediately would just be anticlimatic. Nobody likes a boring ending, least of all Shadow Milk.

There is a sudden, audible crack, and Shadow Milk's hands finally breach the containment of the bark, fingers quickly scrambling to anchor themselves on the edges of the open wound. An uncontrollable, wild grin splits across Shadow Milk's face, or whatever is currently left of it, wide and eager.

He lurches forward, all of his eyes narrowing in on the wispy traces of light outside, with the exception of the one that always follows Pure Vanilla like a curse, currently watching him settle into an airship with some teeny, insignificant Cookies. Anticipation begins to simmer the endless darkness around him, finally, finally, finally making him feel alive for the first time in far too long.

Somewhere nearby, Silent Salt is slowly beginning to rouse, and Shadow Milk's grin stretches even wider. They don't make a sound and hardly move, but Shadow Milk knew they would be the first to wake. They always are.

Finally, a third truth, to neatly complete the rule of threes; Shadow Milk Cookie is looking forward to properly introducing himself and the other Beasts to Pure Vanilla Cookie.

This one doesn't need any further explanation. After all, there is nothing more thrilling than a good reveal.

The wood groans pitifully beneath his harsh grip, the noise mingling with the distant thrum of an airship in motion, and Shadow Milk's quiet but sharp giggling.

Ah, he can't wait to see Pure Vanilla's face when he realises the true identity of his precious Light of Truth.

[mirensiart]

Youve got MY brain churning now >:D

With regards to the lu x kiznaiver au, if someone is in so much pain that they pass out, do the remaining Links get an instant reprieve? The panic that would seep thru the chain if so- especially the first time it happenssss oohohoho

Im also watching the anime with a friend next week, ty for the unintentional recommendation 😂

It's such a fun concept, the brainrot is real lol!

And ooh, I would think so! Like when u pass out cause of pain, it's because the brain wants to shield u of it, so I would assume that if one of them passes out the rest would stop feeling that link's pain 🤔

The potential hurt/comfort though... you're cooking!

I actually want to rewatch the anime now too! I've watched it twice, but the last time I did was in 2017 so it's been A While lol

It's a short but fun watch, i liked the concept a lot, and I believe there's so many ways to explore it outside of what the anime did !!

I hope u enjoy it! I do remember the cast being very lovable hehe

[dinomight]

small, fun little detail: during the second(?) assault on the mute village, xiaoge helps the elder woman get to cover first. and then like five seconds later throws a gardening tool into somebody's chest. get yourself a man who can truly do it all

[askblueandviolet]

the way i abruptly stopped reading at the notif HKAHAJ

HI 1!1!1!1 :3 gift time real

uhhdhdhdjbdbd..hows mayor holdin up !?!? (fav mayor real) I REMEMBER THEM LIKING MILK ICE..IN CHAP IDK, so heres milk ice for them ;D

as for Edgelord™. howreu doing uh huh. uh. heres. shadow puppets. idk do w them as u please??? AS FOR BAI HEEEEEEE, ilysm, u get a catplushie real

(ITS 4 AM. ur fic stilltastes gud, like. tarts. yummy tarts. mmwmsm,snms hopeur doijg well <3 u get a taco fr 💪back to reading lolol)

MASTER POST

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[starmocha]

Xavier, my sweet, deceptively destructive bunny, I can only trust you to make instant pudding from a box 😃

[ratatatastic]

if you ever wonder why our marketing and merch team love him so much its because hes an absolutely wetdream when it comes to these things like you really cant make this shit up

[jrueships]

yall thought yall were safe from my 1998 temptations movie posting, but, rest unassured, you are not . melvin is old man running toward you with his chronic rheumatoid arthritis at excruciatingly slow speeds as we speak .

he's so :3

[thegreatcrowdragon]

You gave me brainrot of Sleep Paralysis Demon!Shadow Milk

So now my brain is rotating around it

(CW: A//se)

He basically gives him nightmares, pounces on his chest (don't take that the wrong way-), shakes and slaps him around like a ragdoll, making a mockery out of him. All to make PV feel worthless & broken, like a puppet. And the worst part? He mocked "comforted" him and stroked his hair, soothing words of lies. All while PV is left crying himself to sleep...

Enjoy the angst!

HAHA YES I SHALL INFLICT ALL WITH MY BRAINROT

I imagine in the first few dreams he was just beating the shit out of him. Then he calmed down a little bit and started mentally torturing him. But yeah if it weren’t for the fact it was a dream Pure Vanilla would have most definitely either died or been gravely injured

[mossy-rainfrog]

[ID: A page of inked traditional drawings showing the original character Blake Moreau from the chest up. Blake is a thin man with short, wavy black hair, full lips, brown eyes, and a roman nose. He wears earrings and a v-neck open shirt. He is referenced from Tom Ali and Nicky Champa. In one drawing he cocks his head with a neutral expression, in another he looks off to the side with a frustrated look, in another he laughs brightly, and in the last he looks disheveled, and glares at the viewer. The next image is a closeup of the drawing of Blake looking off to the side in frustration with a pinched brow and parted lips. Text beside him reads: "oh, there he is..." The last drawing is a small pencil sketch of Blake making a disgusted expression and looking off to the side. End ID.]

according to my calendar, today is my boy Blake's birthday. so happy national slut day everyone! make sure to thot it up in his honor 🙏

[thebyter]

i read this one uu fic where ash knows tht spoke is spoke inthe mafia episode and its lkke him giving spoke a ceremony outfit and its kinda gay with all of the caressing and shit but idk if i like them that way Id prefer to see them in a toxic platonic way but the author might make them kiss if they make a sequel but ill pretend that its a cheek kiss instead if they do

[dirtbra1n]

it’s always when I have things to be doing that this happens but it’s like. I don’t know I’ve gone so far into weird love territory and I’ve been here so long that when I go back and really look at canon it’s like it’s new to me. because like do you ever think about how hanzawa masato just sort of DECIDED that tashiro would be the next captain of the ping pong club. like it wasn’t a recommendation or anything that decision was made. and absolutely if tashiro genuinely GENUINELY didn’t want to do it nothing bad would have really happened, someone else could have done it, sure. you know? but at the end of the day tashiro, in the midst of his running away, had that thought, like. not in a thought bubble but in a b Hold on

in the narration box. like it’s not a fleeting in-the-moment thought like the whole poor shmuck thing. I’m not explaining this well. it’s just you get the impression that tashiro thinks about things a lot and also tangentially kind of thinks about his hanzawa senpai a lot and that realization of burden is so significant to tashiro that he takes on the position of captain

and he doesn’t look him in the face when he does it, and I love it. I love when things are indirect and subtle and sort of reluctant because it’s human and speaks to sincerity and tashiro’s grounded…ness that he isn’t unflinchingly happy to do it. he still doesn’t really want to do it. but he will. and he’ll do it WELL. because and this so matters hanzawa masato just sort of DECIDED that tashiro would be the next captain of the ping pong club because he knows tashiro and has been watching tashiro as a fun kouhai who he likes a lot and who makes him laugh like literally no one else in the world, and he knows that he would be a good president because he is, amongst other relevant things, a good person. the right kind of good person! he wouldn’t have forced tashiro to do it because frankly he couldn’t REALLY force tashiro to do it, tashiro has a way of getting around things (pudding head….) but he decided tashiro would be captain, because he knows tashiro, and tashiro decided to take that on, because he sees hanzawa. he decided that tashiro would be captain, and tashiro decided to accept that decision because hanzawa decided correctly.

and tashiro cares, and encourages his senpai to rest, and we get the FUCKING.

that just speaks VOLUMES. hanzawa masato who notoriously stays busy for at least one of two known reasons that sound a little contradictory but aren’t actually is resting right now. hanzawa masato who is so weird and so unknowable to his juniors is wearing a small smile that, unlike so many of his other ones (ominous as they are, usually), shows for only contentment. he’s resting right now. like the tashiro gonzaburou hanzawa masato dynamic IS so weird I’m not delusional for that. but my favorite thing that I think I do a really bad job of showing is that their exchanges go back and forth and are so much fun for the both of them, and it’s exactly like PING PONG. well matched and silly and hanzawa masato knows tashiro gonzaburou and if tashiro gonzaburou doesn’t know hanzawa masato he sure as hell sees him, and wants to know him, just a little at least, and it’s all so much. I’m resting right now. fuck. anyway