#he said sorry so i forgive him
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Watching tristamp: oh vash has mommy issues
Watching trigun 98: oh vash has MOMMY ISSUES
Reading Trimax: Actually Vash went through an extremely traumatising event at a young age and had to face the realities of humans. Rem was there, as the twins' mother figure, to represent the good. Reconciling humanity's differences is what made him how he is, and he projects that onto Rem. In this essay I will-
#trigun#vash the stampede#wolfwood#vash#trigun stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#trigun maximum#trimax#tristamp#trigun 98#tri98#i guess it still kinda counts as mommy issues if he projects#i just don't think any other media does this background justice#is so much more complicated than “Well Rem said-”#he's not human but he is a person#it's HARD to keep going after lossing faith in humanity#it's HARD to see what he did and forgive them#and goddammit it's HARD to forgive them again and again and again#and stay POSITIVE (outwardly) the whole time#sorry for this novel in the tags#trigun spoiler#trimax spoiler#i just fucking love him#okay????
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am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.
you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?
okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.
but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.
i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.
and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#she physically assaulted me and then screamed in my face#but not before sh'ing first and blaming it on me#while she was locked in my bathroom. at 1 in the morning#while i begged her to please just calm down and to try taking a deep breath and to go to sleep#and then she was like - ur just like my abuser#bc she had screamed in my face which was triggering to me and i froze like a deer in the headlights#and since i had shut down at that point evidently i was the problem child#i know she is out there telling our mutual friends i abandoned her and it makes me SO pissed off#like dude you spent so much fucking time forgiving & forgetting that your decrepit asshole of a boyfriend#pushed me down in the fucking hallway#but noooo hes <3 troubled <3 at 43 and divorced#bc according to you it's important that u don't '''see anyone as a monster''#but god forbid i not handle you SCREAMING IN MY FACE#i couldnt even get you to say sorry for crossing my original and only boundary you were like ''what did you want me to do''#babe i said 'the bf is not allowed around here he scares me and u said ur broken up with him'#that was the thing i wanted you to do: not fucking invite him to WHERE I LIVED#godddd typing this shit out and knowing it's only 2% of what actually happened makes me feel pathetic#i can't believe i let you treat me like that. you were a TERRIBLE friend.
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paper bag
#inanimate insanity#ii#inanimate insanity invitational#ii 2#ii 3#inanimate insanity pickle#pickle inanimate insanity#taco inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity taco#ii taco#taco ii#pickle ii#ii pickle#don't tag as ship please#also. this is from pickle's pov. i don't like the way the whole fandom victim blamed him because he didn't forgive taco#brian said he's literally canonically depressed thanks to her. he has been burning her letters ever since he got them.#pickle has made it very clear that he does not want to be around taco and that he's still badly hurt. it doesn't matter if taco changed#you are still allowed to not forgive those who hurted you even if they change#pickle ii i love you forever im so sorry people were horrid about your mental health#you deserve to be loved and happy and never bothered again. you moved on and i am proud of you#pickle ii ily#max does art#osc#osc art
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i just think if roles were reversed and buck was the one saying those gay ass lines to eddie, eddie wouldve proposed like four seasons ago
#like if buck had a kid and he said to eddie “theres no one in this world i trust with my kid more than you” eddie wouldve given him head#if buck had written him into his will and said “because eddie (cuz im sorry but buck loves eddies name too much to not use it)#you act like youre expendable but youre wrong“ eddie wouldve been like on his knees begging for buck to move in already#or if eddie did something reckless and after told buck he had to do it and buck just looked at him fondly and said “i know you did”#eddie wouldve dragged his ass to the nearest jewelry store to get them matching rings#or if someone off handedly mentioned how long he was dead/underground/uhhh bleeding out from his gunshot wound#and buck corrected them and said “um no actually it was 3 minutes and 17 before we got to the hospital” eddie wouldve done unspeakable#things to him in the bathroom of that underground poker club#or if eddie came out to buck and buck gave him a similar supportive little talk and said “this doesnt change a thing between us”#eddie wouldve been like “uh no actually it does get in the fucking car rn” and driven them to the courthouse so they could get married#basically#eddie says the gayest shit to buck all the time but buck just hears it as Normal Bro Things because hes never had a normal friend before so#he had nothing to really compare it to#but if buck were to say this kinda gay shit to eddie#eddie would immediately be like oh youre in love with me because eddie is a romantic and knows declarations of love when he hears them#however#buck communicates his feelings with flirting but eddie is fucking stupid and has no game and no rizz and doesnt realize hes flirting#eddie communicates his feelings with grand declarations of love but buck is fucking stupid and doesnt realize people actually care about hi#they need to flip communication styles and then theyll realize#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#get him out of there#let eddie free so he can finally have game#omg no or if eddie had done something that kinda pissed buck off and buck just looked at him after eddie apologized and said “ofc i forgive#you“ well there wouldve been something freaky going on in the firehouse closets that halloween
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i'm so sick of people who use the fact that mabel is very much like bill (yes, true!) and that bill even likes mabel (again, yes, true!) and understands her in some ways (again yes!!! true!!!!!!!!!! what was the bubble but a party that never ends with a host that never dies?) and then twist it to fuel their mabel hate. like for one, every pines family member has some deep commonalities with bill because he's an effective villain and plays off the heroes of the story so well! but ALSO because it completely disregards how their core philosophies about the world and people around them differ and it bums me out
i have said this before, exactly like this, and i will say it again. the main difference between bill and mabel is that bill finds the universe and the people in it constricting and dull and frustrating while mabel sees the beauty in dull people and things and sees them as full of potential. bill sees something boring, he destroys it, mabel sees something boring, she gets out her glitter glue. mabel is so filled to the brim with love and affection for others and such a wild desire to make everyone, including herself, happy at all times, and bill is trying so hard to be happy that he deliberately hurts people, ruins his own life, ruins the lives of everyone around him and then doesn't understand why he's so miserable. like these two are fascinating because they are both remarkably similar and WILDLY different and, most importantly, they are interesting to look at as foils because mabel is a good person
#that being said i do love aus where bill is like stuck on some human form or some shit and has a weird friendship with mabel#like she doesn't forgive him and he sucks but she's the only one who he actually gets along with/who gives him the time of day#they have an animal crossing island together where they deliberately pick all the ugliest villagers and gift them the ugliest clothes#bill is doing it because he thinks eyesores are fun and funny and mabel picked 'em because she wants the most unloved#villagers to feel loved and happy so her island is a sanctuary. also she thinks the ugly clothes are cute#i won't hear mabel slander btw i just won't! sorry!
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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adding onto my last rant from a while ago a little bit, it is fascinating how many people in this fandom completely miss the point of tsumugis character and misconstrue what hes actually about which, ironically, is just what eichi did. and its done in such a similar fashion too, such as making assumptions about his motives, his family relationship, and missing the point in why he chooses to look the way he does. and, time and time again, eichi has been proven to be WRONG about tsumugi. he misunderstood him deeply, and now its eichi whos stuck mourning the past while tsumugi has long since moved on, not the other way around, as tsumugi is on the path of getting his happy ending. and i dont get why people keep trying to take this positivity from him
(s. element epilogue 2)
#sorry for harping on this stuff alot it just genuinely sucks seeing a character you love be so widely misunderstood#especially when if you really think about it#tsumugi is about as blunt and honest as they come#you dont always need to read deeper into a character. you dont always need to psychoanalyze every part of them#you dont need to reason everything#sometimes people just Are Some Kind Of Way#and eichi failed to understand that and made the wrong assumption about tsumugi#and i feel like this fandom keeps doing the same thing#because he can do and say unconventional things#and when he makes jokes he sounds super alarming or like an utter freak#its frustrating when people continuously doubt tsumugis words when he speaks so earnestly about his life#hes honest to a fault. he has no reason to lie#you can argue that “ohhh tsumugi just doesnt realize how fucked up he is!” and like Yea sure theres an element of that#but ive always read the point of his character to be him overcoming these hardships#because he cares so fucking deeply about every single person around him#and he never assumes malice. because he is such a genuinely kind hearted guy#and what makes tsumugi so interesting is that he can kind of SUCK at getting that across#because no matter what people never understand his actions or intents because of how weirdly he acts#and neither does this fandom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#natsume and tsumugi are built on being opposites. if natsume is a known liar surely we can put two and two together?#theres alot more that can be said on this topic and ive been meaning to for a while but honestly i just dont have the energy or brainpower#also i dont want this to read like im yucking anyones yum. its just frustrating as someone who is very mentally ill about these characters#he has clearly endured traumas too like im not ignoring that. its super obvious. but his character is about love and growth#you can go through literal HELL and be on the brink of SUICIDE and still end up a happy loving and forgiving person#and i think thats what his character is about#nat rambles#nats enst posting
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oh my god can the erins shut up about the sisters already
#‘’ohhhhh misandrist women oughhhhhhhhh scary evil misandrists’’ ok whatever you still cant convince me the clans were justified in sqh#also ‘’the sisters dont teach the toms to live on their own’’ am i crazy or is that just directly contradicted in sqh#like. ok whatever obligatory ‘’no abandoning kids isnt ok’’ statement to appease the people who buy this hook line and sinker#but like. they keep the toms with them in sqh until theyve honed their powers and can be independent#they dont just scream and kick out a male whenever he breathes at them#tree was meant to be the exception. and even then idc about him because he sucks shit and bores me#so forgive me if idc about his mommy issues all too much. idc dude it shouldve been violet#it feels like theyre trying to go back and make the sisters worse to make sqh look like a better book for demonizing them to hell and back#also sorry if idc about ‘’misandry’’ in the manpain furry book series where every woman becomes a mom or dies violently#*said with dripping sarcasm* i wish i could tell you that i can take the ‘’equality’’ plotline from the ‘’evil feminist womennnn’’ group#seriously
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"YoU cAnT liKe ThAt ChArAcTeR tHeY [bad action which is integral to the story and why the story is so good in the first place]"
My brother in Christ,
They are not real.
#i hate when people do this#im looking at you fuckers in the omori community#tell me one more time why i cant like sunny or basil and i am sending you into the sun#did you not get the whole point of the game? did you even play the game????#mf's really play a game about forgiveness and that bad actions dont necessarily correlate to bad people#IT IS LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPACTFUL LINES IN THE FUCKING GAME#AND ITS KEL WHO SAID WHO THESE MF'S SEEM TO LOVE BECAUSE HES THE CUTE LITTLE INNOCENT BOY WITH NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM#which for the record is a fucking lie Kel is an emotional mess and also not a fucking moron#sorry for getting so annoyed its just irritating because i see it so damn much#random rambles
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So apparently when it comes to feminism, it's "political" and therefore problematic, but when it comes to misogyny, it's "cultural" and therefore we should be more accepting and understanding. Riiiiight. Got it.
#feminism#I'm still so fucking mad that my dad really said that ''well that's just the culture in that country''#it's been 18 months but I will never forgive him for this#I can't follow the mental gymnastics conservatives make I'm sorry#if he @$$aults me will it still be considered cultural and therefore ok? if not then where do you draw the line? i don't get it#non fandom
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[asks mackie for his bottle] [has no qualms giving it to luosty] "hm?"
[luosty asks him if its okay to drink from it] [has to think about it for a few seconds]
"what?" [asks him again] [nods]
[takes an absolutely big swig] "whatever" [passes bottle back] "oh"
[takes a swig and passes it back]
special cameo ole patty trying to get mackies attention, you know, as someone whos currently his liney, and mackie not even giving him the time of day because hes too busy listening to luosty
terribly important conversations are being had here between lineys who are not currently lineys because the injury bug is a vicious thing around here or alternatively luosty does charm everyone yeah
florida panthers @ new york islanders | 10.26.24
#mackie samoskevich#eetu luostarinen#patrick giles#florida panthers#2425#mackie just does whatever luosty wants (exactly like the rest of the team)#fantastic things are happening here#LUOSTY KEEPING THE BOTTLE#ASKED FOR IT. TOOK IT. DRANK FROM IT. SAID OH ITS MACKIE I SHOULD OFFER HIM SOME TOO. THEN JUST KEEPS IT AS HE YAPS TO HIM.#his raccoon hands have struck again#this man is always taking drinks from teammates both alcoholic and otherwise#liney bonding#patty wanting to get in on the liney bonding and was denied and its hilarious#to be a part of this team luosty must flutter his eyelashes at you and you must crumble to his every whim no matter who weird#i think a lot about luosty asking permission first as if he didnt ask mackie for the bottle in the first place like-#why was the thought process here so ass backwards#dont ask for permission ask for forgiveness apparently#luosty remembered some guys get squeamish good for him lmao#jumpscare forward uvis on the forward side of the bench#im sorry this was so fucking funny like wh#important are we chill enough to indirect kiss or nah? the answer is yes apparently
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If u see me descend into madness or the sad in these few days it’s either because of my fever + cold that has made my brain fuzzy (and thus, susceptible to rollercoaster rides of emotions) or the way im knees deep in elden ring lores (which are both magnificent and also depressing)
#i am sorry but FUCK MIQUELLA FOR WHAT HE DID TO ST TRINA#and everyone else who has been charmed by him#u do not need to act or behave maliciously to be evil#the mere act of thiefing one’s free will and dominance is already a big no no#also sacrificing everything for a so called greater good is heroic and all but to abandon love— when you’ve claimed to be forgiving and#bring an age of gentleness…how can you bring upon such age if you yourself has none?#what other monstrosities can one commit if it’s for this said new age that none are truly aware of#sorry guys i went off hard bcuz it pissed me off so badly HAHSJFIDUDB#like I KNEW miquella wasn’t the saint everyone was sayinf#‘kind miquella’#um i think the FUCK not#bressy is asleep so i cant scream to her about this so yeag#gummmyspeaks
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Okay so The Star Beast was fun and I'm hyped for Wild Blue Yonder and everything but I am shattered over the new episode of Eleventh Doctor Chronicles.
Broken Hearts is some of the best dark!Doctor Expanded Universe exploration I ever consumed, and that includes The Eleventh Doctor Year Two comics. I am sobbing. I am in tears. I am broken as thoroughly as the Doctor broke Valerie Lockwood.
Me when I can't find any Broken Hearts/Curiosity Shop stan posts to reblog or fic to read to get out the angsty energy...
(fic. I'm writing fic. and yes this is an open request for reading recs)
#'you can't be scared of me' 'YOU JUST SAID ITS TAKEN YOU CENTURIES OF PRACTICE NOT TO BE MURDERY! SO SCARED OF YOU? A LITTLE BIT- YEAH!'#that's my Valerie. that's my Doctor. one of the best tardis teams- audio dramas or otherwise#Valarie lockwood#eleventh doctor#eleventh doctor chronicles#where my Eleventh Doctor Chronicles peeps at?? someone help me#(I mean. im at work. but I can't stop thinking abt it since I listened. AND THERES NO BROKEN HEARTS STAN POSTS TO RB)#words by seaweed#btw I understand them not bein as popular/mainstream! they're prohibitively expensive#I bought this one because I couldn't wait. and big finish deserves more $ than bbc but I... have pirated maaaany doctor who audios#I love how horrible eleven is in his EU stuff. idk if I mentioned. it suits him really well.#he's horrible in the show too. but he doesn't get enough shit for it from his companions <3#love Rory and River for their service buuuuut#Alice and Valerie are better than Amy and Clara sorry#(I do love Amy and Clara to DEATH)#that said Alice also forgives him reeeally easily. which is fine! but the fact that she 'trusts him implicitly' in year 3 is irrational.#at least with Valerie the Doctor had excuse of having been recovering from brain damage.#anyway eleventh doctor chronicles broken hearts is great and flawless and the perfect followup to curiosity shop
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re:kinder goofy (for the most part) doodle dump !!! last two are from. five months ago when i was barely starting to draw these characters but i found them amusing 😊 enjoy snacks
#re:kinder#fanart#doodles#hiroto re:kinder#rei re:kinder#shunsuke takano#aya re:kinder#yuuichi mizuoka#and company !!!#isnt it fun to see how i struggle to keep ym art style consistent even through my doodles isnt tjat awesome#miss mizuoka is there so i dont forget the fact i can draw adults but i dont wanna draw anything that isnt rekinder related#not because of anything serious just because my brain feels the barrier of being FORCED to draw other media...#must draw character from comfort media ONLY !!!! /lh#ou do forgive the goofy look of chie's cat i eont know how to draw a cat to save my life im so sorry#learned nothing from warrior cats phase 😞#for the uninformed the mistresses are holding tazos which are. idk little plastic disk things that used to come in potato chips in latam#its like em beyblades for americans (i think) . brag yo dragon ball tazo collection and fight with em#oh yeah ARE THOSE YUUICHI'S OCS LIKE GENUINELY ARE THE MISTRESSES HIS OCS OR IN UNIVERSE FAIRYTALE CHARACTERS#i ask myself that often like. is he just good at character design at 8 why do his monsters have such variety and nice color palettes#the sizes i drew for the mistresses are VERY VERY messy and i would likely draw them differently scale wise . but who care for funny doodle#sixth doodle pic was a palette cleanser after fighting for my life imitating 10 year old me's art style#i drew yuuichi as i would have as a child and i got afraid i would forget how to draw him in my current art style for some reason#its so runny now that i think about it#so many more things can be said but im zzzźzz good good night
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.
#my god i miss him#i miss him so much#there's a physical ache in my chest#it's like it's collapsing in on me#there are so mamy things i wish i'd did. i wish i'd said#and i know i couldn't have said or did those things. not really#but i wanted to. i really wanted to#and now it's too late#i'm so heartbroken#i feel like running away#to some place that'll accept me. embrace me. forgive me#idk i'm just so sorry i wish i were better#but now it's too late and he's gone#and i miss him and i hope he's happy wherever he is#and i hope maybe. just maybe he misses me too#just a little bit. that would be enough
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thinking about how different rooks little brother naming himself after ben would have hit him if it was classic 10yo ben. like, I'm not sure if rook ben was 10 years old when he lost his b'inthak or younger, but like. ben 10 classic has a big theme of ben needing to learn to be a hero because it's right and helps people and not because its thrilling and cool
a young kid naming himself after ben in the classic era if ben was still in that era of learning to care because he should and not because being a hero is awesome like. imagine that. something would just click I feel like. like, its not a crowd of people cheering for him or people he'll never interact with that he saved from a burning building. its personal and this specific kid looks up to him and sees him as a REAL hero enough to name himself after him. ben would just have a wake up call I think. like this is what it's all about. not how cool it is and not kicking bad guys butt but this. it just fits so well with the arc he had in OS to not think about
#forgive me if im missing some info lol im still getting a handle on the franchise and characters and stuff#but like from my current info level this is running circles in my head#yes 10yo classic ben is my fave and most compelling to me and i lowkey dislike all the other versions of him#i just feel like he has more going on#like i feel like a plot like that with rook ben and ben himself would fit so well into the OGs arc#bc of the stuff i said above#like classic ben had a lot to learn at first and this just seems like a clicking moment#like oh. i dont think im a hero for the thrill and becuase i can anymore. i think its deeper than that now#pandas.txt#ugh sorry for maintagging it but i gotta have the tag on my acc#ben 10#thoughts#lmk if theres more info about rook ben and his age or how that stuff works#i did see the clip of rook ben picking his name and i think all ben does is go 'aww'#unless he says something later in the ep afterwards#like no thats too tame im blowing this self contained plot out of proportion in my head
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