#just a little bit. that would be enough
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#my god i miss him#i miss him so much#there's a physical ache in my chest#it's like it's collapsing in on me#there are so mamy things i wish i'd did. i wish i'd said#and i know i couldn't have said or did those things. not really#but i wanted to. i really wanted to#and now it's too late#i'm so heartbroken#i feel like running away#to some place that'll accept me. embrace me. forgive me#idk i'm just so sorry i wish i were better#but now it's too late and he's gone#and i miss him and i hope he's happy wherever he is#and i hope maybe. just maybe he misses me too#just a little bit. that would be enough
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Danny commits to the Bit a bit too hard...
So! For the first few weeks after his accident, whenever Danny would try to help the people of Amity Park, he would be treated as a Villain.
No matter if he had just defeated the Big Bad of the Week or saved a Cat from a tree, everybody in town only saw him as a Monster or Villain to he feared and hunted down. Danny was really getting sick of trying to get them on his side, until Sam made a suggestion.
"Why not just...play into it?" She said, barely looking up from painting her nails.
It was just an offhand suggestion, but it stuck with Danny. Why shouldn't he lean into it? The people of Amity Park already saw Ghosts as Evil, and they already assumed he was in cahoots with the Ghosts attacking the town. Why shouldn't he just...play into it?
So he does just that.
From that day on, whenever Phantom was spotted he would dramatically monologue about his Evil Plans, or claim that another Rogues attack on the City was his own act of terror.
Box Ghost destroys the towns Warehouses? It was on his orders.
Ember mind controls masses of Teenagers? All part of his Plans somehow.
Every Adult in Town is kidnapped by Young Blood? Danny gave them over to a friend as a Gift.
He crafts an identity for himself as the most Vile and Horrible Ghost that has ever attacked the City, using his own infamy to cement his legend even more firmly. The town only sees a Monsterous Villain, who has eveded capture near effortlessly for months on end, who constantly attacks their City and gets away with it.
Of course he still needs an excuse for how his plans keep getting stopped, and he gets it when his girlfriend Valerie becomes the Red Huntress. Before that, he just claimed infighting or the Fentons getting lucky, but Valerie becoming the Town's Hero meant he had a plausible excuse for how he kept getting "Foiled".
Val was suspicious, because she was not as involved as Phantom painted her to be, but in the end she had no proof of him faking his defeats. And she couldn't come up with any explanations for why he would do that in the first place. I mean, who would fake being a Supervillain? It had to he something else.
This did come back to bite him a while later, when the Justice League decided that enough was enough, and dispatched Justice League Dark to recruit Red Huntress and help Deal with him.
Coincidentally, that was the same day Pariah Dark attacked the Mortal Realm and sucked Amity Park into the Ghost Zone.
And honestly? Danny had spent over a Year proclaiming himself as a Villain who commanded Ghosts to attack the Human Realm, and he had heard about the Right of Conquest being Absolute in the Ghost Zone, so why not make it official? Why not overthrow the Ghost King, become the Ghost King, and cement his identity as a Villain while also forbidding Ghosts from entering the Human Realm without his permission?
He may have gotten a bit carried away and forgotten that the Villain thing was a disguise...but hey! He was still preventing Ghost Attacks! ...mostly. That's got to count for something right?
He may have let the Bit run a bit too far...
...
Check the tags for more context!
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Danny is a Villain#Or he pretends to be a Villain#It started out as a Persona so he didn't have to keep justifying his existence to civilians and then spiraled out of control#He got a little too committed to the Bit#Danny claims that all Ghost Attacks are on his orders as a convenient excuse for being at the scene of every attack#He befriends a few of his Rogues and actually does command them sometimes to keep up the charade#They can indulge in their Obsessions from time to time and the Kid gets to keep up his weird Villain Act that he likes to do#It's a win-win#I wonder if Danny would try to recruit Vlad?#Or would Vlad fully buy into the Villain Persona and try to join Danny's team only for Danny to REPEATEDLY reject him?#“Why won't my incredible Villain Godson accept me?! And I not enough of a Villain for him?!” He cries to himself sometimes#Danny is the Ghost King#He just decided to overthrow Pariah when he attacked to cement his Villain Persona#And completely forgot that it was supposed to be a Persona for a minute there#JLD and Red Huntress are working overtime to defeat him#He is now the Next Big Threat™️ and doesn't even realize it#Sam and Tucker are just laughing theirs asses off at the mess he got himself into#Jazz is tired#And Val is wondering why her boyfriend is so awkward whenever she mentions Phantom
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still i think the one of the more fun differences drawn between illario and lucanis that was lost would be illario's ability to endear himself to others but serious lack of empathy, vs. lucanis' (self perceived) inability to be charming but how much he cares. it's interesting that the game has gone with the "lucanis' ability vs illario's lack thereof" because i think illario being the dellamorte 'best in show dog' vs. lucanis' attack dog would have made me so unwell.
lucanis is... awkward. he's not unlikable, because he is usually very polite, but he doesn't speak much and only seems to care about the other dellamortes. he once sent viago de riva a knife with no note (who knows what he could have meant by this). he does what caterina asks of him, and by his own admission, cannot say no to her. he is a dramatic and prolific killer, and that makes how untouchable he is even worse.
and the crows like illario, sure, AND he's a good assassin! he's even a good crow! he's so good that he can make lucanis smile, and so he is the charming, sociable one. he's the one that stays in treviso and can be relied upon to care, illario's even the one people prefer over caterina and lucanis!
but illario is decoration. he's the prize poodle, and even if poodles were bred to be working dogs, nobody will ever pick him to protect the house over the german shepherd that regularly mauls intruders. anyways the analogy is getting away from me. the point i'm trying to make is that i want illario to have a different kind of jealousy/hatred that's not just over 'being bad at killing' but also an arrogant loathing for everyone around him that is getting harder to hide, because they've forgotten he can bite and is just itching to rip someone's jugular out. illario is very good at hiding his family resemblance to caterina, while lucanis suffers under his grandmother's, and his own, reputation.
#not helped that these ideas are probably fostered by caterina. she doesnt WANT lucanis to have FRIENDS she wants him to KILL THINGS lol#and her perceiving illario as someone who wants but wont rise against her would have been interesting#so she allows his charm and friendliness etc. because she wants him to ingratiate the house to other houses#she doesnt want him out the picture. she NEEDS him there to make people like lucanis. illario just isnt content with that#i will shut up about this. i promise.#like i wont. but im trying#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#and also i want illario to have a little more manipulative asshole going on he's not believable enough in game omg#i think the main issue i have is that lucanis should have . maybe. been a bit less agreeable. SORRY#but it would have been fun to see crow-like defensiveness slowly break away to reveal a caring polite and kind man#or at least a slow understanding of lucanis-language. like he said 'i dont care' but he meant 'i dont mind'#raised by a grieving and also repressed old italian woman will do this to you#thoo. i was pleasantly surprised at how sweet he was in the game to start but i think parallel wise this could have been fun is all#veilguard spoilers#dragon age#and also really sorry that this was brought upon by someone calling him a pursedog man in tags#which was very funny for 5 minutes and then i was like actually i can do something with this
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got really in the mood to draw a room so i drew one
#im not great at backgrounds in context but if i just go ham on sketching a room like this i think im alright usually#the scale of things is a little bit wonky but thats fine it wasnt meant to have scott and pearl in it at first even though it is their base#i was just trying to imagine what it might look like as. not minecraft. instead more of how i think things are in universe#being that most of the various bases are actually preexisting places that were abandoned within a time where theyre still intact but worn#and when everyone gets dropped in for the games they end up taking over these places as somewhere to stay#life series#mcyt#life series smp#last life#scott smajor#smajor1995#pearlescentmoon#w1f1 draws#its good enough for my main art tag i think#also the folding chair in the corner is meant to be mumbos from when he got “kidnapped” by them and set up his own chair#why would he have a folding chair on him in the first place? who knows. i just thought it was funny
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nomura please please please please please please please please please
#im shitposting again sorry#kh#twewy#kh riku#kiryu joshua#dude I swear joshua got the same haircut from the heartless tower#this is also just what hairstyle nomura thinks is cool#it is cool. but can u make joshuas curl a little bit bigger thank you#i neeeeeeeed joshua and riku and sora friendship#PLEAASEEEEEEEE twewy would be sooo perfect for the next game SORAS LITERALLY DEAD#in quadratum it’s not twewy Shibuya#but cmon#it doesn’t have to be twewy Shibuya for them to show up#look rikus in Shinjuku soras in Shibuya cmon cmon.#my art#doodle#doodles#ddd isn’t enough I need them to be ACTUAL FRIENDS#he doesn’t have to do anything can he just show up#he Jesus beams a heartless tower and then fucks off or something PLSAAWWWW#kingdom hearts#the world ends with you#guy who is on actual insane cope rn
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(yes I know siffrins cloak grows sleeves when its convenient but I wanna play around with this)
#also the cloak IS crafted to grow with him so I guess it being able to grow sleeves when he needs em might not be entirely untrue#tbh when I heard his cloak can grow with him my first thought was to have everyone gather under it and stretch it like a parachute lol#I think the one with like two folds stitched together to make impromptu sleeves makes more sense..#the holes are big enough to quickly fit your arms thru so its more suitable#the witch hat cloaks are designed so that witches can draw their spells without anybody seeing so its specifically to hide the users hands#siffrin doesnt necessarily need to hide his hands but he doesn’t like to be touched so I guess it just has to cover his body than hide it#idk anything about sewing or tailoring though so this is all my imagination. i dont actually know if this would work or not lol#my art#myart#doodles#I got thru a little bit more of the game and I’m coping. I’m coping#I’m imagining siffrin suplexing loop for my own sanity#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin
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In Regards To Your 2024 Summary:
Holy shit it’s been another year????? The hell?????
Also! Your art style is gorgeous and that being found in 2023 and then refined throughout late 2023 and the entirety of 2024 really shows, as does your growth in panel layouts, perspective, and — as you said — experimentation. If you ever post your animation or video game art I’m looking forward to it.
As cheesy as it sounds, being able to laugh at funny comics and look at all the details of your art really made my 2024 brighter, even when things were hard. Including looking at your older art— it doesn’t need to be new to be enjoyable! I’m glad your art is well loved and it’s a privilege to have been here since the (near) beginning. I hope you take care of yourself in 2025 and beyond!
You and your art bring a lot of people a lot of joy never forget that <3
Thank you so much for keeping up with my art journey throughout these last two years! Two years!!! I am baffled at how that feels both too long and too short!
Admittedly, my art summary didn't manage to capture the fact that I did a lot of comic layouts that I'm really proud of. I also drew more backgrounds and made some very detailed works (*Dungeon Meshi spoilers for these examples*).
The growth is lot more evident when comparing my 'best' comics of 2023 to 2024:
Sometimes the growth is vertical, sometimes it is horizontal - and damn, sometimes it goes out of sight into the Z-plane. But it is always happening!
#art summary#ask#The privilege is honestly mine; to be able to create comics and have had people rooting me on since the beginning really means a lot.#To everyone who the potential I couldn't and continues to stick around: Thank you so very much.#I cannot emphasize enough that I do see you. I do notice those who regularly like/reblog/comment.#I notice when people who haven't been around come back and mass like/reblog posts.#There are some people who have only *ever* liked my posts or have only ever lurked! I notice! I am so thankful!#At the risk of also sounding cheesy; I'm honestly happy to give back whatever I can to my audience.#Knowing I have brought people a little bit of joy to their day with my silly comics makes every long night worth it.#I probably make a longer post about it in the future; but last year when I made my first comic redraw-#-was the same day I got the news that someone very beloved to me passed away. I was in such deep grief I couldn't respond to comments.#But I still read them and I mean this earnestly; even though I was smiling through tears -#everyone's kind words truly helped make a pretty dark month a lot brighter. I probably would have crumbled without the support.#What really gets me is this: it was never directed at trying to cheer me up. It was just earnest kindness towards a stranger making comics.#If you've ever wondered 'hey does PD-MDZS know how much I appreciate their silly comics?'#know I have also sat here and thought 'Hey does this person know how much I appreciate seeing them in my notifications?'#Which also includes you! Mina BNHA you will always be associated with the cool person who's been rooting for me B*)#I wish everyone a wonderful new year; may all our creative endeavors be something we see as an exciting discovery.
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I'm trying to avoid getting spoiled so I haven't looked up what's happening in the Jp server's main story, but for my own sanity I need to ask; is the story at a point where we know whether Lilia will get better/survive his almost-empty magic reserves..? Was it a true death flag from the start or only a plot device for malleus' overblot....?
not yet! I do think they're going to get back to it eventually, but -- keeping it as low spoilers as possible -- there's been...let's just say a LOT going on in the meantime.
enjoy 7-6!!! :)
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#i AM going to talk more about spoilers for a minute (i will try to keep it just up to 7-6 stuff though)#but i have. THEORIES.#my current hypothesis (based on absolutely nothing except vibes)#is that they're going to find the princess glow and use it to save lilia#via magic boost or...something. idk it was vaguely-defined enough they can handwave exactly how#because. look. they made a point of introducing this super powerful macguffin gemstone with magical dad-saving powers#and then never solidly established what happened to it#(twst? talk at length about something totally irrelevant that never comes up again? surely not)#but it would tie in very nicely with the rest of the parallels between silver and the knight of dawn#and i like how it would be sorta like...a little bit of meleanor coming back to save lilia#(again) (less violently this time)#my even-more-based-on-nothing theory is that crowley might have the princess glow and this might segue into whatever's going on with him#as always i could be completely wrong but i'm just. y'know. feeling it.#i'm still obsessing over that one line from episode 4 where azul was like 'oh yeah i totally know crowley's big secret'#which was most likely azul bullshitting but i'm still like IT'S GONNA COME BACK AAAAANY DAY NOW#(at this point no one will be more shocked than i) (the validation would be nice though)
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part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ... |
and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!
if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd
go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3
#hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#frenrey#carrots au#<- gotta remember to tag the other ones as well#yippie im so excited to finally start sharing these with people!!!#there will be at least 5 parts in total maybe more idk#i just wanted to illustrate this little snippet of the first fic#maybe i'll draw more of these if i get another vision#i am still trying to work on the animatic so that would probs include most of my visions anyway#i think im gonna post a wip sometime soon just in case i lose interest#also i crave validation and reading people's tags and comments makes me so so so happy!!!><#btw it kinda feels nice posting something like. after a while#cos it's been quite a bit since i finished this first.. part? page? thingy#and it's nice to finally stay out of the whole instant gratification thing#please do still go crazy in the tags tho? if u want?#mkay enough rambling for today i've got things to do#like be cozy n read fanfics n drink water n stuff yk?#all the important thingz#and who knows maybe i'll even make some progress on.. whatever it is that piques my interest today#bye for now!!! take care and have a very orange day <3#art tag or whatever
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you ever think about how edwin got like. no warning, no time time to process, nothing, when he reappeared on earth faced with the fact that virtually everyone he knew in life is dead. his parents? probably died in the 1950s or so (at best) almost forty years prior to edwin’s return. if any of his classmates were still around, they’d have been elderly, possibly senile, and in a few years they’d all be gone– except, of course, edwin. nothing looks the same, cars look like spaceships, there actually are spaceships, he can no longer see the stars, and everyone he knew is dead.
#he may be dead too but he’s certainly not gone. he’s a lingering relic. something lost to time#that’s some existential dread on an incomprehensible level#like. he meets charles quite soon after returning from hell and it’s implied he’s pretty much just been haunting that schoolhouse in that#time right. so I seriously doubt he’d have visited– let alone even Found– his parents’ graves. I wonder if he ever did that with charles.#maybe charles providing him enough emotional support to feel like he could handle it.#I know that he wasn’t close to his parents in life– nor was he close with anyone that we know of– and yeah I think that’d definitely make#things a bit easier in certain ways; he never felt like he belonged in his time/place in life or amongst his family or peers#so being displaced from all that wouldn’t feel like losing very much#in a way#but… I mean still#and he inevitably would have those lingering thoughts of what could’ve been–#yes he could’ve died in the war and his life likely wouldn’t be very fulfilling considering he’d probably be forced into a marriage he#wouldn’t want or if he was found out he could’ve been imprisoned and ostracized and disowned. plenty of ways his life could’ve been awful if#but also what if his parents loosened up a little as the times did? as in- what if he actually got to know them? what if they tried to#have a relationship with him of some sort eventually? it’s not impossible#it’d have to eat at him. that and wondering if either of them felt guilty#or felt a loss. or anything#hoo boy. fun stuff#edwin#edwin payne#rambling#dead boy detectives
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cant believe it took seeing the big man himself on the screen for me to finally make old man fanart... conquest vs mercy >:) [WIP]
#my art#oc art#digital art#my oc#artists on tumblr#illustration#wip#work in progress#ive gotten a few questions abt how the conquest fight would go down if mercy were there#i will get to u folks.. i wanna finish this drawing first so i can add it to the post while i lore ramble#but im working on comms as well and only doodling mercy stuff in between so itll take a little bit...#hrm maybe ill ramble first and just post the mercy art separately when its done. ill think on that#invincible#conquest#invincible conquest#eleanor grayson oc#dw fellas. shes gonna go apeshit on that old man. give a girl a tough enemy and watch her take out all of her pent up anger and#stress and grief from her father out on him (:#she saw a man in viltrumite uniform and said 'close enough welcome back omni-man' and pummeled him
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Skelekinz (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Webkinz#Gaster#Sans#Papyrus#Smol's a genius and I'm giving her at least a solid 50% of the inspiration credit on this one#Like I've already been in the mood of Webkinzifying others - there's more Helix stuff in the works I just aghldsjafskdlf#But then she tossed the idea of Gaster's blue hands being Buddies and agh gah what brilliance how quick on the draw#Lol#Really tho! Gaster's PSI being a Buddy - or like a Pet of the Month special or something - so cool! So clever!#And so the rest of it haha#Once again drawing his hands signing ''s'' and ''p'' :3c Who remembers my old vector of him still haha#And then also Void!Gaster! :D Looking much sadder haha his Happiness just never quite fills all the way nooo#Does momentarily when you give him a labcoat but then he just asks for something else to wear weh :'D#And obviously if he was Skele-kinz'd (hehe) then the boys had to be as well! ♥ Always deserve the cutes and sweets#Sans' is easy enough - there's no actual white turtleneck under blue jacket item but there Should be! It's so cute!#There is the Hotdog Buddy hehe - if you'll recalled Mini Mint who is currently cosplaying Sans has one :)#But there's no Spaghetti Buddy! Agh! So unfortunate#There is a Marshmallow Buddy tho :3 Which is pretty fun hehe#All this Sans rep gotta find a good Papyrus clothes and pet!#Had a good bit of fun imagining how they'd move around in rooms and such - there are bipedal pets! I think they walk funny haha#Sans would definitely always have his hands in his pockets outside of like emoting animations haha - little wave with his left hand <3#You could probably replace Gaster's clipboard prop with other things - the Halloween candy bucket comes to mind lol#And then some requests :D Papyrus would want spaghetti but of course his spaghetti is the very best (it's not)#But he'd still appreciate the comparison!#Gaster's requests would definitely be outlandish and impossible haha - or else to go to work and then to go to work again lol#You have to wait eight hours you workaholic skeleton you're not allowed! We Just Did! Haha
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I think the most beautiful thing about writing of Howl and Sophie's pair is that they are written as people before being written as a pair. Let me explain this very quick.
The thing about book Sophie and Howl is that they are not really fully fitting into any "classic" romantic trope. They are not exactly enemies to lovers, as their angry chats are definitely cannot be considered a life or death battle, they are not rivals to lovers because the only aspect of rivalry between them is the cleaningness of Howl's room. They are not friends to lovers, as their relationship just doesn't fit into "friendship" structure at the very start, nor they are roomates (yes, they live in the same house but that's not the core aspect of their relationships). Of course, you can go on and fit the name of the trope you found specifically for them, but that's the thing.
They simply cannot be processed through a pairings lenses only, in order to understand how they act in relationship you need to analyse them separately, as a characters first of all. Cause that's what the book itself does!
Sure, it doesn't have a whole lot of romance instead, but it gives us time to learn and observe the life of incredibly written, alive characters, understand them as personalities first of all, while slowly immersing the dynamic between two characters (in this case, Howl and Sophie) into work. They are written as personalities, both being fully separated and interviewing, changing eachother's point of view.
It's difficult to find a trope for them. They're are not a trope. They are Howl and Sophie, and that's probably the only way their dynamic can be properly described. Just as real people, they are not really fitting into the boxes of linial character progression, but go way deeper into being complex, filled with little differences and moments only people with their personality can have in romantic (or any different) kind of interaction. They're imperfect, and silly, and multidimensional and the reader knows them well enough to imagine them interacting way beyond of what the book says to them.
They are being people before being a ship, a pair of a trope — and that's why they work so perfectly charming in the end.
Howl and Sophie are unique in being themselves.
#and that's not that they're the only ones like that#I'm sure there's a lote of well-written paintings like them as well#it's just I feel that people would try to find them some kind of a trope in the end anyways#actually If you let me brag about it a bit#I feel like people nowadays are trying a little to hard to force romance (and other dynamic but romance especially) into some kind#eh..tiny boxes instead of letting characters actually interacting on independent manner?#like there's so many bookshops and book covers that say “enemies to lovers!!” on it and like#nothing else. that may be a fault of booktock cause so many videos in there are “top-5 friends to lovers books of the year!!”#I don't care?? tell me about the characters about how their personalities are connecting them tell me about their story about their quircks#about the parts of them that led to romance being as it is about the parts of them that compliment each other#TELL ME ABOUT THE BOOK AND THEIR PERSONALITIES GODDAMIT#I have nothing against people inventing a way of naming the progression their characters relationship are that's actually pretty handy#I'm just kinda puzzled cause way people are starting to act like having one of this two three maybe five classic tropes is a necessity#I cannot understand why people won't read a book simply because the cover doesn't say enemies to lovers#I cannot understand why ppl are thinking it's enough for characters to be enemies to lovers and nothing else#I was doing tell me abt your ship template with Sophie and I had to add a million of arrows and little texts explaining every specific#AND I LOVED IT SM LIKE THEY ARE SO??! THEMSELVES THEY ARE SO ALONE#you cannot understand how much I love it#(and yes I do categorise my ships sometimes it's just I feel I don't put as much meaning into it as someone else would??)#hmc book#howl's moving castle book#hmc#howell jenkins#sophie hatter#howl x sophie#howl's moving castle#howl pendragon
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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-Okay but some of the fears that Color has are in fact the same fears that Nightmare has when it comes to Killer.
Like, Color is worried that Killer's so blindly loyal to Nightmare for whatever reason that he wouldn't even think of complaining if he hated it. And at the start that was something Nightmare probably expected. His henchmen should be loyal and obedient and not ask questions nor complain. But now, after years of learning and bonding and softening up significantly he wonders sometimes if that's still the case.
Nightmare knows Killer well, perhaps better than most, but he's not exactly an open book. Especially when it comes to his own wants or needs. More often than not when he makes a request it's intentionally silly or unreasonable for laughs, like asking if they can take Dust to the nearest pet store and try to trade him in. Very rarely does he want something strong enough to make it known, both to himself and others, like asking to keep the first cat he found.
So.
If he hated this. If he truly struggled and fought and agonised with himself about the position he's in and the work he's doing and the life he leads.
Would he say it? Would he realise that was how he felt? Would he even consider saying no was an option?
If Nightmare asked him to do something he really genuinely did not want to, would he just do it anyway because he doesn't believe he has a choice in the matter?
The only way of finding out (besides making a blatantly difficult request of him, which Nightmare is not willing to do) is to simply wait and trust that Killer will tell him if something is wrong. Which... is not exactly foolproof or easy.
But it's part of why Nightmare hates to be around Color too much, because deep down he's more than a little worried that Color could be right and he doesn't know how to fix it.
#UTDR#UTMV#Dadmare#This was a thought I had and drafted like months and months ago and forgot about#Little ideas about how to fit Color into a dadmare scenario I guess#Cool people who make Color posts don't look I'm probably doing a terrible job with your boy lol#He's not worried about the others in regards to this because Dust has never had a problem disobeying him#And Horror and Cross set out ground rules for themselves right from the start about what they would not do (murder)#He's never sure about Killer though. how do you begin to tell someone they don't have to listen to you if they don't want to#How do you tell if it worked?#Realistically Killer has and does disobey Nightmare he just hides it well#''I got caught out and ganged up on during that fight'' when really he peeled off to go talk to Color out of sight#''they must have heard we were coming. there was nothing we could do'' when one of them got distracted and they fucked up a job#''we've always had that cat. they're just shy so you don't see them very much'' when he brought home another stray in his jacket#<-That one happens a lot and Nightmare is beginning to suspect on it#But he never sees more than like 4 or 5 of them at a time so he can't prove anything#Whether it's sheer luck or Killer has trained his cats to do a Parent Trap bit on him nobody knows for sure#Anyway this has cooked for long enough time to release it into the wild#Go my post
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