#he runs off to go fuck the president out of spite

[onebizarrekai]

Out of all of the Fatals Flaws cast, who can use magic(sorcerers) and who cannot? Is there also a weird middle ground? Such as Arthur's biblically accurate wings? Is that counted as magic or no?

Also is the term sorcerers just used for all magic users or just powerful ones? My brain just needs a lot of information about something to understand it, sorry :(

Also, Blue deserves more love... So, how is he? What is his life story? What's his goals? Is he huggable?

in the story, the term sorcerer refers to anyone with magic. arthur's wings are 100% magic. as for who can use it and who can't, besides who has already been mentioned (like ellie or miles or arthur), it's sort of a secret 💦

honestly I would say that arthur should count as one of the 'secret people' plotwise, but I feel like it would be really hard to try and hide that, since his wings are kind of a defining character feature for him. what I'm saying is that, if someone were experiencing the story blind, it wouldn't be obvious to them right away that arthur is a sorcerer, at least not until he or miles revealed it. it's just that everyone who knows about dreamswap knows arthur to have the powers he does, so there's not really a point in trying to hide it, haha.

sorcerers can be born or they can be created, to shed a tiny bit of light on things. the creation of sorcerers is a recent, under-the-table development in their society. nobody knows about that. as far as anyone knows, anyone who can use magic has always been able to.

as for blue, the guy refuses to talk about himself, he just wants to live a Peaceful Life where things go the way he wants, and he thinks it's normal to follow people around to make sure they're okay and not getting into trouble. and then when his peaceful life is denied him, he decides to make as many waves as possible by breaking into the island's equivalent of the white house

[the-lost-boys-wife]

✨INCORRECT THE POLY! LOST BOYS QUOTES✨

(I’m back again for some more incorrect quotes- I know you guys have been liking them so what am I gonna do? Not do my school work and give you your lost boys fill for today! Like usual😊)

David, at Michael : You're my significant other.

Michael : Yeah I am!

David, at Dwayne : You're my child.

Dwayne : Yes boss.

David, at Y/N : You're my bitch.

Y/N : Yeah I am!! -wait, what?

David, at Paul: My bestie.

Paul: Naturally.

David, at Marko: HA, GAY!

Marko: Fuck you!

Y/N : *running towards David with open arms*

David: *moves out of the way*

Y/N : Hey, why'd you move?!

David: I thought you were going to attack me.

Y/N: I was going to hug you!

David: Why would you hug me?

Y/N: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

Michael : We’ll find another route, it’s not safe for amateur adventurers.

Marko: That sounds like a challenge.

Michael : I have to stress, that is not a challenge.

Marko: ...Is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well, challenge accepted!

Michael : There is no challenge!

David: Marko is taking credit for Dwayne 's work, getting him to deal with everything, and making fun of him! You know what marko sounds like?

Paul: You?

David: No, I meant... You know Dwayne . In spite of being clever and sarcastic he’s also... fragile and weird and hes having trouble fitting in. And Marko is taking advantage of their weakness! You know what that’s called?

Paul: A David?

David: ...Yeah, but I’m the only one who should be allowed to do that, okay?!

Marko: Come on, Y/N! How any times do I have to apologize?

Y/N: Once!

Marko: ...No.

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent after catching Y/N stealing from the boardwalk.

Y/N: I choose to waive that right!

Y/N: *screaming*

The Boys: *pissing themselves laughing*

David: You have friends and I envy that.

Dwayne: You're welcome to share my friends.

David: *looks at Marko and Paul*

David: I don't want those.

Paul talking to marko: Money... Is like president trading cards.

Y/N: So what, now I’m just supposed to do everything that Paul does? What if they jump off a cliff?

David: If Paul were to jump off a cliff, he would have done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Paul jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Y/N: You jump off a cliff.

David: Gladly, provided Paul did first.

Y/N: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gonna unmake it to sleep in it anyways?

Dwayne not having it-: Why should I feed you if your just gonna die anyways?

Y/N:…

Y/N: I'll go make my bed-

(Ok so imma post this and then maybe write a little something for you guys, but it’s up to you who I write about, I was just planning on doing some head cannons! Stay safe and be kind to people- LOVE YALL<3)

@gxlden-switchblade

[possessesnightshift]

i'm not an eloquent political speech person so im just gonna be direct about this

americans, please please fucking register to vote and vote for joe biden in november

and before you jump to whatever policy thing or weakness of his to counter this plea, just stop. it doesn't actually matter. trump is worse. trump is fucking so much worse

our job from here on out is not only to hold our noses and vote for biden, but also to convince all of our friends family and whoever else to also vote for him in spite of all of his flaws. yes all of them

we need to make the fucking argument that trump is so dangerous, the country would be better off with a drooling old genocide lover whose mental faculties are drying up faster than the sahara desert. we need biden voters to be keenly aware of his shortcomings and refuse to back down. there's no use in pretending biden is still sharp as ever or has this mass grassroots support (he does not). he sucks. he is probably the worst democratic candidate in the party's history.

don't care. trump is worse. he needs to be stopped from taking power by any means necessary. he needs to be STOPPED.

from a non-republican pov, democrats constantly leaning on the "but the other guy is worse" argument is frustrating as all hell. i certainly hate it myself. but what gets lost in the conversation is that the republicans are essentially so beholden to this principle nobody even notices.

i know plenty of small town midwestern republicans who were embarrassed to admit they voted for trump. they voted for him in spite of his nastiness and blatant buffoonery (not in spite of his racism bc they're likely ok with that) because he was on the republican ticket, and to them any republican is better than a woke liberal who wants to take away our gas stoves and force drag queens to read us stories at bedtime

so yeah i kinda don't fucking care at this point

biden is a laughably bad candidate for the election of 2024. any other time he could've run (including 2020) is completely different than now, when he's just too fucking old. so should we just roll over and let him lose? just for trump to finish his term, be biden's current age, and either run for a third term or just stay in power bc the supreme court is on his side and they've been preparing for this for decades? fuck that

actually i think a rotting, pulpy corpse would make a fine president compared to dumbass donald "reality gameshow host" trump. literally if biden dies the day of the election he's still got my vote because it is not for him

the left has to learn to have the tenacity that republicans have. we emulate the right in the worst fucking ways (e.g. closing the southern border for no reason) but we never emulate their pettiness. we never say 'i hate the republicans so much i will willingly vote for someone i kinda hate to spite their smug asses'

remember when trump used to be a joke? remember when he was a giant embarrassment? remember the memes about his illiteracy and his lack of awareness? (see 'covfefe' for more info) trump may have the means to become a brutal dictator, but he relies on people smarter than he is to pull it off

if trump continues to hype up his project 2025 and his fascist ambitions with the swagger and confidence of fdr running against herbert hoover, what does it signal to the rest of the world for that man to LOSE to a corpse with the stamina of a wet flounder? it could stop the fascist momentum in its tracks by associating it with weakness and incompetence (you talk up all this hype and you lose to THAT man?? i guess you must be full of shit huh)

these are fraught times. there's no way to get out of this without letting go of our ideals of a perfect candidate who responds to the political desires of the people. that candidate does not exist and never will

right now we have not just an opportunity to preserve our rotting democracy for a little longer, but something much more special. we can fucking put an end to the trump experiment once and for all. we can make trump wannabes like ron desantis scramble to dissociate their image from the toxicity of the trump administration. we can turn him back into a joke.

at this point im screaming into the wind. no person who isn't already voting for biden is gonna read this far. but i want these words to be here anyway because i think they have value. 2024, 2028, and 2032 are all going to be pivotal election years. we can't wait around. we have to act NOW.

vote rotting fish 2024. i will plug your nose with a clothes pin if you refuse to do so yourself...

[loveoaths]

it fucking kills me that i have seen NO ONE talking about the reaction jess jordan, kendall roy’s assistant, has. because it is jess, and rava and sophie roy, who have the reactions that twitter and reddit and all the succession lovers are looking for in shiv, for some goddamn reason. it’s jess who not so subtly pleads with greg to delay calling the election, who is blown off dismissively and ignorantly by greg who cannot understand or even SEE how strong of a panic reaction she is havjng. to him, and every other roy and tom and everyone else at their level, this is just another crazy day with literally zero consequences. a fascist dictator president will literally not change the quality of their lives as rich white people. but it will change jess’ life, as a biracial woman. it will change rava and sophie roy’s lives, in spite of kendall’s money and protection. and the show purposefully cuts off their reactions — jess blinking fast and breathing hard and about to have a panic attack meltdown in the hallway, rava and sophie scared in the back of an SUV — because the show isn’t about them. the show is about the roys, who do not care about the consequences of their actions, partially because they never have to SEE the consequences of their actions. greg does not see jess freaking out; even when she is clearly panicked in front of her he cannot see her pain and if he could, he wouldn’t care. it’s only when he turns his back on her that she starts to break down, which is a great if painful blocking choice. not only is it realistic — she can’t lose face in her workplace, she can’t react negatively when she works for the guy who owns the Devil Right Wing Fascist TV Network, and she most certainly can’t react any way people don’t like because she is one of the few, if not the only, black women in the building and working for the roys. while greg sighs and laughs about this day being crazy, she is having a meltdown as she fears what this election result means to her. if rava, a wealthy woman of color with a powerful ex husband, is scared, how much more scared is jess? is everyone else under jess?

but the show cuts off her reaction and takes us back to shiv because this show is from the roy’s pov, and this episode is largely from shiv’s pov. shiv “cares about democracy” and the country to an extent, because democracy only effects her to an extent. she knows on paper this election is bad news. she also knows it’s not going to change her life directly because she’s rich. like her brothers, who do not care at all who is President, who only care about which candidate will give them what they want, shiv is more upset because this election means she isn’t getting what she wants. she’s going to lose her power in the potential matsson deal. because that is how the roys chose who would be president: they chose the candidate they could buy and who could sell them control over their interests for the lowest number, and meincken outbid jimenez by a landslide. tldr the reaction people are looking for in shiv and in the roys were there, but in jess and rava. and even rava and jess aren’t progressives, aren’t “feminist icons”, they’re also complicit and victimized all at once, like shiv is, but with far less say and power. it’s almost like… the show about face eating leopards… is making a point that if you get in a cage with a hungry leopard, at some point you will run out of steaks to throw at it and it, too, will eat your face off. huh.

[catbountry]

I think before I go to bed, I should make it clear that my flippancy about the failed assassination attempt on Trump is because this man didn't give enough of a fuck to protect the citizens of the country he fucking ran from a deadly virus that killed hundreds of thousands of people in that country alone.

Like we talk a lot about all presidents being war criminals to come extent but for your average American, it's very hard to put names and faces to the anonymous brown people we hear getting bombed by drone strikes on the other side of the world. Like we know it's bad, but because we don't see these people, it's hard to actually like, internalize that. But with COVID? Your average American knew somebody who died, or almost died, or was in danger or dying. And this motherfucker, pumping his fist in the air after getting grazed by a bullet while a spectator in the crowd died, got to live through getting COVID because he was the President when he got it. He lived when our friends, our family, or neighbors, suffered and died. 100s of 9/11s worth of deaths happened while he was running for re-election. It's now gotten to over a million under Biden, but those early days when the most could have been done to curb the number of deaths, we just were at the mercy of a man who could not give a less of a liquid, fast-food induced shit about the average American. Like I know the government gladly serves capital over us but I've never seen it so mask off in my entire life.

I can't speak for when Reagan was president, mind, I was born halfway through his second term. Not a whole lot of memories of that because I was, you know, a baby.

But like Reagan, Trump did not take the lives of our countrymen seriously enough to even look out for us when we needed it most, and it wasn't even motivated by homophobia; just indifference. He failed us, not that we ever expected that much of him to begin with. The blood of people who we know with faces and names and voices and memories are dead because of him. And even if COVID is "over," he's made it clear that if he gets in, he doesn't fucking care if he does shit that kills more people through simply not caring, or just out of spite.

I'm sorry that I find it hard to try and play at good optics and respectability politics for the sake of not giving republicans ammo (they're gonna find ammo regardless, they always do). This man raped our country, and that word choice is very deliberate. He stumbled in, took what he wanted, broke so many rules, violated every boundary put into place to keep him in check, and like a vengeful ex, sicc'd a pack of his flying monkeys to enact violent revenge on the government elected by the people that dumped his ass. He's a petty little tyrant trying to become a dictator so he can huff deep from the most concentrated narcissistic supply known to a modern leader so far this century, and he has apologists who think he should have raped the country harder.

I am going to continue to live my life as normal as I possibly can, to try and focus on what I can do for myself to be happy and have a sense of stability and to be able to like myself, while also doing what I can to support my friends and loved ones. To remember the dead and remember what it was like to come down with COVID myself and how awful it felt. To try not to lose hope and vote if only just to protect the rights of my friends, my family, and myself, and hope that we can get through this together, whatever the fuck it will even be. I'm kinda scared, and jokes make things a little less scary because at least I know there are other people who are just as frustrated as I am, reacting the same way.

We gotta look for each other. Monke together strong.

Stay safe, guys. You are loved.

[rainiishowers]

Obey Me Incorrect Quotes

A/N: Because this is how I cope with writers block, enjoy! A lot of Mammon, unsurprisingly --- Satan: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me. MC: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do - *Human Mammon AU* Mammon: I was put on this earth to do one thing. Mammon: Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want. - Mammon: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”. Mammon: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”. -

MC: What do you think Belphie will do for a distraction? Solomon: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock *Building explodes and several car alarms go off* Solomon: ... or he could do that. - MC: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Mammon: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. MC: .... MC: You mean ring bearER, right? Mammon: ... MC: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding. - MC: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying? Mammon: Damn, if people did that to each other, Lucifer would've killed me years ago. - Satan: Is five a lot of followers? Asmodeus: Depends on the context. Asmodeus: On Devilgram? No, not a lot of followers. Belphegor: In a dark alley? Yes, a lot of followers. - Lucifer: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Lucifer: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time. - Leviathan: The ocean is a soup. Barbatos: Barbatos: Please elaborate. Leviathan: What is needed for something to be a soup? Barbatos: Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine. Leviathan: Barbatos: - Mammon: Money in the human world... Is like president trading cards. - Asmodeus: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you. Beelzebub: Being a fish..? Asmodeus: Well, shit. - Diavolo: *gets set on fire and screams in agony* Diavolo: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me. - Mammon: There's nothing to do.... Lucifer: You can wash the dishes you promised to wash about a week ago. Mammon: *pulls out his phone* Nevermind. - Mammon: I do two things and two things only. I devastate sorry motherfuckers, and get shit done as an awesome leader. - MC: Lucifer is forbidden from monologuing. - Asmodeus: The only straight I am is a straight-up badass. - Barbatos: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” - Simeon: When's the last time you slept? Solomon: Uh... a few days ago, I think. Simeon: A few- how many?! Solomon: Uh... *starts counting on fingers* I need more fingers... Simeon: What you need is sleep! - Mammon: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Lucifer, are a fucking cactus. - Belphegor: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens. - Sheep!MC: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under. - Luke: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit! *Insert Simeon having a mini crisis* - Lucifer: So, Belphie is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night. Beelzebub: Why? Lucifer: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row. Belphegor, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass. - Lucifer: Please stop asking if I "had a rough night". I always look like this.

[that-spider-fan-over-there]

I said I wasn't gonna post about the chapters until the official ones were out (and because I didn't want to go "spur of the moment reaction" for the last five) and in the process I FORGOT TO POST MY THOUGHTS ON CHAPTER 426 SO HERE IT IS:

I'll admit I'm not that engaged in the Todofam plotline despite being a fan of that trainwreck, but I think it was a pretty solid chapter, wish Touya and Shoto talked more but after the soba I don't think I would've handled it without crying "THEY'RE THE CHARACTERS EVER DAMN IT ;-;" lol (<- I say but I genuinely sobbed). Plus. 15 pages, can't complain with the amount of content we got.

Cheered when Natsuo cut him off and holy shit what do you mean that caused discourse, he has the right and was pretty much badass considering Asia's. *ahem* Values with filial piety so to speak. I don't think Rei's gonna take care of Enji, he might get himself a caretaker while Rei lives with Fuyumi or something. Maybe in that separate house he idealized (because basically if they divorce Rei wouldn't get anything out of it to keep herself up according to japanese laws).

And despite this being about the family getting closure, I don't think Touya's gonna die so soon, he and Shoto have to talk more and eat soba together after all. Plus he lived out of spite and rage, if he dies because he's guilty for what he did to Shoto that'd be. Fucked up. In my opinion.

Shoto saying he's gonna be okay because Class A is by his side. Have I ever told you guys I love him? No? Okay so: I love him and he deserves the world and his found family ;-;

I read Hawks as being the PSC president as a good thing for four reasons and they're all angst-related:

He wants to atone for killing Twice and therefore starting Himiko's breakdown/rampage.

He thinks he can try and do good considering he knows the system well enough. And it's also a way to take back control of his life in a way.

He doesn't think he can be free from his responsibilities because of the guilt he feels, so a little bit of a punishment for him. Can't call himself a hero anymore and being president will not change he has blood on his hands now. But he can try to make things better for others and avoid his mistake(s).

He can't go back from his Hawks identity. Touya exposed he's the child of a criminal and that's what the public sees Takami Keigo as. But fittingly with the themes of names, masks and self-identity, people would still see "former" Hero Hawks in a better light. And so does he, because he sees it as someone who can help and his real identity as something to leave behind.

(I am, of course, assuming he's doing it as his choice, if not, then I Do Have Negative Opinions)

Lady Nagant did stump me with the "Midoriya Izuku demonstrated something to the world". I let it slide with Toshinori because it can be read as him breaking his "hide but never lie" statement from Ch. 2 to comfort him, but unless somehow the vestige world was broadcast like the Steven Universe episode "Cry For Help", Izuku just reinforced he's Toshinori's successor, alright: punched a villain to defeat him with OFA on borrowed time and ended the fight Quirkless again.

And I'm saying this as a "Tenko gave reset OFA back to Izuku and/or Katsuki will help Izuku reignite the embers" truther. Tenko died on broadcast TV looking like Izuku killed him, and on purpose to boot, instead of being a horrible side effect of the transfer. Izuku is pretty much a tired repressed little sad sack close to losing it. (Dare I say Shoto, Ochako and Katsuki showed more to the world than him? That's the vibe I'm getting.)

So I'm assuming she meant Izuku's heart connected everyone to a singular goal of a hopeful future, something she didn't get? Since no one knows what happened in the vestige realm and even if they did, Izuku didn't get to talk to Tenko. But unless it's about these connections he made that helped him in the long run and "win" the battle, what did society see from Midoriya Izuku's actions? Good question that makes me more hopeful (or delusional depending on your point of view) about a potential sequel.

But apparently they barely learned anything because Trauma, from reading Chapter 427, but I'm still writing and processing my thoughts on that. An old lady should've been punched, tho.

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Awkward - a Malevolent fic

It was just fucking dinner.

Part of the Surrogate series. Written with @sepiabandensis

AO3

-------

Hastur had known tension. He’d known sharp-toothed civility that led to conflict (or worse, didn’t, and remained unsatisfied). He’d laughed and danced through terrible scenes taut with pressure, with hair-trigger terms and gods ready for war.

This was worse. Planning for dinner with these stupid humans, with a shared past he didn’t know, with pieces of him he couldn’t control, was worse.

Even just preparing had been a nightmare. He had assumed that giving Arthur a two-day heads up would be plenty, after Parker and the Slice (Sunny, he reminded himself) had politely requested to join them for the evening meal. He’d assumed that Arthur and John would be able to come to some sort of consensus, get the dramatics out of the way, and proceed like civilized beings.

They did not.

Arthur spent the next two days in a stupor, so focused inward on his own mounting distress he was nearly intolerable. John, predictably, responded to this by snapping like a rabid animal at anyone who so much as looked at them. Arthur was then absolutely useless at the piano for the next day, and John threw a fit in the middle of court again, and Hastur almost wished he had not said anything whatsoever.

It was just fucking dinner.

Faroe’s response was different. “He’s coming?” she said, brightening. “Really?”

“Yes. Be gentle with them. They are—”

“Did you know he almost hit Dis?” said Faroe, bouncing on her toes. “I mean, he didn’t manage it, but he almost did?”

“That is certainly impressive,” said Hastur, sounding calm in spite of the abrupt realization that for some reason, his daughter was watching that man train. 

“Thank you, daddy!” she said as if this had all been his idea, hugging him quickly, then running off to language practice.

Well. Well.  

He wasn’t thrilled that this tiny infatuation would be happening with a human the first time, but maybe that was unavoidable. He wondered if Arthur would pick up on it on his own. Eh; Hastur wouldn’t tell him. He clearly wasn’t in any condition for more shocks at the moment.

#

Even just dressing Arthur for the occasion was difficult. “Too flashy,” he murmured, putting John’s selection back in the wardrobe.

I like that one, John protested. The green looks great on you! It compliments your skin!

“It’s embroidery and brocade,” Arthur said, pointedly shoving it further into the wardrobe as John’s hand scrabbled back to retrieve it. “I’m having dinner with—with my friend, John, not going to meet the bloody president.”

You live in a fucking palace, John snapped. All of our clothes look like that. At least let me pick ones that aren’t shapeless, ugly sacks!

“Maybe I want to look like a sack,” said Arthur nonsensically.

Do you want to look like a sack?

“Fuck you. Maybe.”

Well, maybe I don’t want to! Did you think of that?

“No, because apparently, you look adorable, so what do you have to worry about?”

John growled. 

Arthur grabbed something—he wasn’t even sure what—and started pulling it on.

Ugh! It’s yellow!

“The fucking world is yellow here,” Arthur muttered.

But not this much! What the fuck!

“Shut up. We’re getting this over with, and if I have to do it in… in sunshine colors, so be it!”

Well, John knew how to fix that. At least this one shows your ass.

Off it came, and Arthur reached for something else.

John counted that as a point hard won.

#

Parker, Sunny said, voice gentle, are you sure you’re alright for this?

“Of course,” Parker said, perhaps a bit gruffer than he intended. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

I hit you with a lot of unpleasant information, Sunny sighed, and Parker could feel the nervous twinge in his jaw. Make no mistake; I have no question about your ability to be friendly and professional and handle this with the grace of a true actor, but if you’re not ready to deal with the King…

“I’ve dealt with a lotta guys like the King,” Parker said, brushing his fingertips along the curve of his jaw. “Not too worried about him, as much as I’d still like to make him answer for… all that. More worried about you.”

Please, Parker, this was my idea.

“Lots of ideas are good in the planning stages and not so good in practice. We could be walking into a real charged room.” Parker sighed and rolled his shoulder—Dis had gotten him good with one of their sparring bouts, and it was sore as all hell. “Bud, shoot straight with me here: are you ready?”

Sunny was quiet for a long moment. Hear me out, fully, first.

“Alright.”

I… I’m not, Parker. I really don’t want to face down Arthur Lester and make small talk, no matter how good the curry will be.

Parker sucked in a sharp breath.

But, Sunny said quickly, I… I don’t think staying isolated is a good idea for either of us. I don’t want to spend six years hiding in our rooms just in case a—a wet scarecrow of a man might say something mean to me. Alright?

Parker let out the breath he was holding in a laugh. “He’s more likely to curse you out than say something mean. And hey, be fair—he looks pretty good right now.”

Not this again. Ugh.

“I’m just saying.”

Must you say?

Parker grinned. “Don’t go judging me.”

Parker, I love you, but I am absolutely allowed to judge you for that.

He laughed. “Eh. Fair enough. Let’s get this done.”

Ahem. Forgetting something?

Parker grinned. “Really? You ain’t sick of hearing it yet?”

No, I am not. Sunny  paused. Are you?

“Never. Love you, sunshine. Let’s go.”

#

Curries of all kinds steamed on the table, rich in color, accompanied by tiny spice dishes and rice and scents that could nearly carry the conversation by themselves.

If only.

Parker eyed John.

John eyed Sunny.

Sunny shied away from Arthur.

Arthur stared at nothing, clutching his fork.

Faroe babbled, happily telling everyone about the crazy new language she’d begun, and how hard the double-l sound was.

Hastur rumbled, pleased. “You shine in the reports I’m given.”

“They said I’m two full years ahead of the planned schedule,” said Faroe, and then peeked to make sure Parker heard.

She’d been doing that all night.

Parker nodded, perfectly polite, and scooped some curry-drenched rice onto flatbread. “That’s really somethin’. I only ever learned English.”

That’s not true. You’re learning R’ylehian, Sunny said, helpful.

“You are?” said Faroe, her eyes going wide. “Want to practice?”

John eyed Faroe.

Sunny eyed Faroe.

Hastur eyed Parker.

Arthur stared at nothing, tip of his tongue out, focusing on getting curry onto his flatbread without spilling it everywhere.

Nibbles stole a flatbread out of a basket at the end of the table.

“Uh,” said Parker, unsure what was going on. “Sure?”

Faroe smiled like the sun rising.

Hm, said John.

“What?” whispered Arthur.

The lamb is excellent, Sunny said, attempting to drag the conversation somewhere less weird. Curries are my favorite.

“I haven’t really had these. They’re delicious,” Arthur tried. 

Sunny shut right up.

“Yeah, we fell in love with these… fuck, way far west,” said Parker. 

“I’d love more of them,” said Faroe.

“I’m fairly sure our kitchen can handle that request,” said Hastur warmly.

Nibbles was staining her nose orange as she ate from her own plate.

“There’s a bunch of kinds,” said Parker. “Sweet ones, hot ones. Different spices. It’s fuckin’ great.”

“How long were you out there?” said Arthur.

“‘Bout eight months.”

Arthur sat up straight. “You were out there all that time?”

Fuck. We could’ve passed each other on the road, or something, said John.

“Highly unlikely,” said Hastur.

Arthur was pale. “No offense, but I’m glad we didn’t. I don’t know how that would’ve gone.”

“Eh,” said Parker. “Shouting. Then I probably would’ve punched you. Then we’d talk it out. It’d all be over quicker than this mess.”

Arthur grinned. “You know, you’re probably right.”

“Punched him?” said Faroe, sounding shocked. “Why?”

There was a moment of tension. Arthur stared in Parker’s direction, pleading on his face.

Parker studied Arthur for a moment, then turned with a smile to Faroe. “Well. Let’s just say John did some shit worthy of a good punch or two. I’m bettin’ you can believe that.”

Her little chin rose. “I certainly can.”

John snorted. 

“One way to put it,” Arthur murmured.

Fuck you both, said John, sort of conversationally.

Parker flipped him off. “Right in the kissah,” he said, leaning into his accent.

Faroe giggled. “The kisser?” 

Parker pantomimed punching himself in the mouth. “Boom.”

She giggled again.

Nibbles made an amused noise and stole another flatbread right off Faroe’s plate.

“You know that detective stuff I taught you?” said Arthur out of nowhere. “Parker’s the one who taught me.”

She gasped. “He was your partner?”

Now Parker looked uncomfortable. “Yeah. Long time ago.” Not that it was so long for him.

“He saved my life,” said Arthur.

“Okay, don’t get too serious on me, here,” said Parker, sort of gently.

“I’m not,” said Arthur. “I just thought she should know.”

Faroe was looking at Parker like he hung the moon.

He didn’t seem sure why. “Well.” He shrugged. “Anybody’d. You know.”

Parker, could we try that palak paneer? Sunny said.

Parker jumped right onto that topic change. “Sure, bud. Wow, that smells good.”

While we were… on the road, we often worked for food, Sunny said, voice barely above a mumble. We learned a lot about the people of the Dreamlands that way. I’d never tried so many different things.

Parker set down his flatbread to gently pat his cheek. Despite his efforts, it was subtle as a freight train.

“What was that like?” said Faroe. “I’ve traveled a little, but I… had to avoid towns and things.”

“I bet, with daddy dearest here,” said Parker.

“No, I was alone,” said Faroe, who was tiny.

Parker looked concerned. 

The missing princess, Sunny said softly. So that was true? We’d thought… we’d thought it was… just rumors.

“I went on a quest,” said Faroe carefully, who definitely should not have been on her own.

Parker eyed Faroe.

Hastur eyed Parker.

Nibbles gently pressed her forehead against Faroe’s shoulder, and Faroe leaned into that.

Arthur stared blindly at his curry, looking traumatized.

I am glad you saw it through safely, Sunny continued, suddenly stronger, but gentle. We heard a lot of conflicting things after the storm, but couldn’t verify any of them. We were kept busy. He paused. This is… maybe a bad topic of conversation.

Faroe’s eyes were huge. “I’m sorry.”

No. Sunny’s voice hitched. I brought it up. I should apologize to you. I don’t know what happened, but—

“So Dis is a hell of a trainer, huh?” Parker said. “Whips my ass every time we spar.”

Fuck, Sunny mumbled, voice trembling.

“You’re doing fine,” Parker murmured back.

Faroe clearly had no idea what to make of all that, but she’d been trained in conversation, and she could at least pretend to follow it. “Dis is incredible. You almost hit her the other day! I saw it!”

“Well, I didn’t get that close,” said  Parker.

“You did. Your footwork is excellent,” said Faroe, sounding randomly lofty.

It was cute. Parker grinned. “I’d need to be twice as fast to even get near hitting that bi…uh, lady.”

“She’s tough,” said Arthur.

“She’s something else,” said Parker.

“She’s going to help me become a warrior,” said Faroe.

“A warrior, eh?” said Parker without a hint of condescension.

“Yes,” said Faroe, and perhaps unconsciously, touched the scar on her throat.

This was not the time to ask. “That’s a good goal. More girls were tough, there’d be a shit-ton less problems.”

“An admirable viewpoint,” said Hastur, “with which I agree. It isn’t often shared by your human peers.”

Arthur scowled.

You will find that Parker is very wise, Sunny said.

“I ain’t supposed to be tough, either,” said Parker mildly. “Supposed to ‘know my place.’ Keep my head down. Fuck that.”

“Fuck that,” Faroe whispered under her breath, barely audible.

“An excellent goal,” said Hastur.

Arthur wanted to talk so badly. He kept starting to speak, then chickening out. It was getting hard to watch.

Very low, very soft, Sunny spoke. Parker, you should… help him.

Parker stroked his jaw. “You gettin’ tough, too, Arthur? That’s new.”

Arthur’s smile was crooked. “Yeah, it is. I can’t say I’m loving it.”

“We’re training buddies,” said Faroe.

Sunny let out a low sound of encouragement for her.

“I’ve never seen you this, uh… capable, that’s for sure,” Parker said.

“Dis is a monster,” said Arthur, just fondly enough not to be insulting. “She’s brutal.”

“She got you to run. I never managed that.”

“Well, you didn’t poke me in the back with a knife, either.”

“That’s all it would’a took? Should’ve tried it.”

Arthur grinned and flipped Parker off.

Parker’s answering grin was big, real, wide. “Same to you, pal.”

Faroe looked back and forth, riveted.

Parker was instrumental in us staying safe on the roads, Sunny said, and his physical abilities certainly helped. It is… good, that you’re training with Dis.

“Well, they had to make me,” Arthur admitted.

We did, said John, who was being so well-behaved he had to be breaking something. And we’re going to keep doing it. 

Arthur’s smile now was… warm. Secret. Directed at the table. Maybe at John. “Whacko.”

Parker could feel a nervous twitch of his tongue, and casually as he was able, stroked the curve of his jaw.

Maybe, Sunny said, voice cautious, like a frightened animal slowly coming out from under a piece of furniture, maybe in time, we could… train together. 

Arthur looked up with hope on his face. “We could?”

You could learn very much from Parker. He punched out a wizard to stop a spell, once.

“He did?”

“He did?” said Faroe. “What? How?”

Parker shrugged. “Some spells take time to work up, you know? So I socked the guy before he could finish it.”

“In the kisser?” said Faroe.

“Chin, actually,” said Parker, grinning at her. “Asshole bit through his tongue. Knew he wouldn’t be casting shit after that.”

Parker kept us from being captured, Sunny said, voice warm. He dropped the wizard in one hit. A magnificent uppercut. The fool never expected it.

Arthur laughed. “That’s incredible. I love it.”

Faroe looked grim. “You were very lucky the spell didn’t explode.”

“Oh, it did,” said Parker. “Sunny got a shield up.”

Sunny made a small noise. Your timing was excellent; it mostly backfired on the caster. It was barely a shield. Little more than a puff of air to blow it away.

“What was this guy trying to do?” said Arthur.

“One of Larson’s idiots,” said Parker. “Trying to make some kinda portal.”

“Humans don’t handle the creation of portals well,” said Faroe, her eyes huge. “It’s brain physiognomy. We’re too limited by three dimensions.”

“Doubtless, the caster would have died to cast it,” said Hastur.

He very much would. His nose was already starting to drip blood. Sunny’s voice was soft and tired. Parker saved his life, assuming it wasn’t taken later for failure.

“Larson did… that?” said Faroe quietly, and looked at her dad. “Why?”

Hastur sighed deeply. “There are past actions you do not know,” he said, caressing Faroe’s face with a tenderness that made Parker rework some assumptions. “He has a chance now to change his ways.”

Faroe studied him, frowning, then looked at Parker. “What was he trying to do?”

Parker hesitated.

“Maybe we can talk about it later,” suggested Arthur.

“All right,” said Faroe, looking between them.

I’m sorry, Sunny said, very quietly. I shouldn’t have said anything.

“Why are you sorry?” said Faroe with innocent puzzlement. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Courage gone, Sunny stayed silent.

“Sunny just doesn’t wanna hurt anyone,” said Parker. “Gets nervous that maybe he did, sometimes—but he didn’t, right?”

“As far as I can tell,” said Faroe, “nothing wrong was said tonight.”

“I agree,” said Hastur as though passing judgment.

Arthur nodded. looking at the table as though fearful what his unseeing gaze might do.

Sunny let out a little breath. Thank you, he said, voice barely more than a whisper.

“It’s gonna be weird for a bit,” Parker said, firm and slow. “But I think we’re all gonna be okay.”

The Dancers came in then with dessert—some glorious confection of thin pastry layers and honey—and Parker was happy to direct conversation toward that for the rest of the meal.

#

He didn’t speak to Arthur again until they were leaving, until the meal was done. Arthur hunched; he was clearly uncomfortable, and didn’t know how to continue.

John’s gaze never left Parker’s face. It was sharp; foreign. Arthur Lester had never looked at anyone like that in his life.

Parker knew the difference. “I’m glad you’re not dead,” he said, low, meaning so much more that the physical.

Arthur’s eyes were suspiciously shiny, and that wasn’t John. “I don’t think I can express in words how glad I am you’re not.”

“I believe you.” Parker said the words evenly. The significance of that statement—a judgment of his own—was earth-shattering.

Or maybe rebuilding.

Arthur raised his face.

“Night,” said Parker, and left, hands in his pockets, striding fast. He had a partner to take care of.

#

Hastur checked in.

His servitors on Earth were handling things well. Larson was following the rules, yelling at people on the phone, pulling out files to hand to his chaperones, throwing things into his large fireplace so no one could have them if he couldn’t. 

Faroe was getting ready for bed, humming, thinking over dinner, happy. She was trying to speak to Nibbles in Welsh. The goat may or may not have understood, but made for an apt listener.

Arthur was exhausted, collapsed on his bed, uh-huh-ing to John.

John was complaining. He’d been very very good all dinner long, and was making up for it now. He didn’t trust Sunny, and kept trying to spin some idea (which did not land) that Parker was up to something.

Parker was not up to something. He was quietly reassuring Sunny, who had convinced himself he’d committed some sort of grievous faux pas.

This had all gone about as well as could be expected.

Hastur wished he could rest along with them. Wished he could hold Arthur, and be still, and…

There was no time. He had to begin conversation with Mnomquah tonight, and wasn’t looking forward to it at all.

He waited until his family was all in their beds, and then left to tackle the next part of his plan. Behind him, Carcosa slept. Through a window, Nibbles watched him flying away, and did not draw attention to his departure.

[adultswim2021]

Tim & Eric Nite Live #8: “Super Duper Tuesday” | February 5, 2008 | S01E08

This is one of the best things Tim & Eric have ever done, only marred momentarily by the presence of Rainn Wilson who stinks up the joint pretty good. Tonight's episode took place on Super Tuesday, 2008. I’ve mentioned this in passing before: the titles for these Nite Live episodes are taken from thetvdb.com, and I don’t believe they are very official. I could be wrong. Point is, I took “Super Duper Tuesday” to be a joke, but going to wikipedia revealed, with apparent sources (that I did not actually click on, let’s be fair) that this was actually labeled as “Super Duper Tuesday”. Weird thing to call a day that I’d sum up with a really mean meme.

That’s a long-winded way to give this piece of historical context: Barrack Obama and Hillary “MY TURN” Clinton were running against one another for the Democratic nomination to be the official candidate running for class pres against whatever Republican fucknut who got the republican nomination that year. I was working at Borders Books in Eureka, CA, and there was this one loser and his two loser friends who would just skulk around the mall saying caustic stuff. There was a small handful of times when I eavesdropped on him and it was usually racist, and also really stupid. The best one, by far, was when he looked at small table of Obama merchandise. “Who the fuck is this?” he asked his one friend. “He’s running for president” “Why? Because he’s all black and shit?”

In spite of my previous criticism that the previous episode of Nite Live went a little too well for my liking, this episode also has very little in the way of major off-the-rails moments. This one feels like they stuck to the script (or outline or whatever). In fact, the Tim and Eric wack pack are well-behaved enough that they don’t really break kayfabe. What I mean by this: Throughout the night, Tim and Eric refer to the democratic candidates only as “Bob Bop Perono” (Obama) and “Bill Clinton” (Hillary). Bob Bop Perono is just absurd, and it helps that the first time we hear the name is coming out of David Liebe-Hart’s mouth. I remember at the time believing that he was deranged enough to come up with this on his own, and that the supposed answering machine message was genuine, and perhaps served as the seed for the episode. 

When they first refer to Hillary as Bill, it’s very dashed-off by Eric, and almost seems like it’s unintentional. When they show the little graphic of Hillary with the words “Bill Clinton” underneath it I remember fucking losing my mind. I was recovering from hernia surgery, and it was extremely painful to laugh. I don’t even know why it’s so funny, but it is. 

Perhaps Dunn’s finest moment is in this episode: he’s the appointed Dunndit for this episode and he doesn’t like either of the candidates. “There’s too many mush mash” he says; I’m pretty sure he means “mush mouth”. He also says their clothes look like they come from the thrift store, and “they look like they’re ready for the zoo”. His delivery is so funny in this. 

James Quall gets some time to advocate for Bill Clinton, who he thinks looks like Shirley Jones. I tell you, Quall’s comedy hasn’t aged a day. Later, he goes head to head with DLH, telling a nightclub comedy routine style joke that Bill Clinton wrote a book “named for her and her admirers: It takes a BILL-age”. DLH, who seems mildly thrown by Tim and Eric’s straight-faced scolding (I failed to mention that they redressed the set for this to give the impression that they’re trying to do a serious news show, including a lot of needless graphics on screen, including a little Yoda that pops up for no reason), seems to speak from the heart advocating for “Bop Bob”, and then sings a song. The sincere moments from DLH seem to come from DLH being genuinely confused; he actually asks if they want him to sing or not. DLH ever not understanding the assignment is one of the things that makes this show so fun to watch.

Richard Dunn tallies the votes using poker chips, and this of course takes forever. I remember this being used as a Super Deluxe spot. Sometimes in place of Adult Swim bumpers (usually at the end of an episode of an Adult Swim program), Adult Swim would air a 15 second little promo for Super Deluxe, usually just a clip from one of their shows followed by a little Super Deluxe title card. The tallying results in a tie, after all that build-up. Tim and Eric propose a third candidate as a tie-breaker, asking Dunn who he thinks should be it. “George S. Bush Sr.” Dunn offers confidently. “Richard he’s been dead for ten years!” Eric shoots back, before taking our lord and savior’s name in vain. It’s worth noting that he was not in fact dead at the time of this episode. He wouldn’t actually die until over a decade after they made that joke. As of this writing he is currently in his fifth consecutive year of roasting in hell. 

Tim and Eric go down to the Nite Live Dungeon for an emergency seance. DLH seems to offer an emergency prayer off camera, though this isn’t totally audible. I just assume this is what Tim is saying “no” to (DLH would similarly go off book in the final episode of Nite Live as well, which is why I’m pretty sure this is what’s happening). I wish Tim took him up on that, because what follows is maybe one of the unfunniest moments of Nite Live history (in the best episode, no less!): Rainn Wilson as a wizard summoning George S. Bush Sr. It’s not TERRIBLE, but it’s… terrible. It’s terrible! His line to Tim “you’re cute as a button” is only funny because it’s the first clear shot of Tim’s little pony tail, one of the episode’s huge laughs. Technically this happens while Rainn Wilson is on screen, after saying something that’s mildly funny. So, not all is lost. 

This summoning actually works! George Bush Sr. actually shows up! It’s another one of Tim and Eric’s bad lookalikes. Rainn squishes the guy’s lips together as they cut away from the scene, BAD COMIC INSTINCTS, RAINN. Back in the main studio they do an in-nog-uration, where DJ Doug Pound dips Bush Sr.’s hand into a bowl of egg nog while ladling scoopfuls of the stuff onto the top of his hand. Bush vows to “be a loving man for the world and all the children of the country”. The credits roll while “Simply the Best” by Tina Turner plays.

Aside from Rainn’s reign, this is pound for (DJ Dougg) pound one of the greatest Tim and Eric things out there. I’ve revisited it far too often, but I can still recognize the greatness of it. The best Nite Live by far, and you know me, I like Nite Live.

[mrpenguinpants]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

I love modern au. Or any “everything is fine, no one died, it’s just a fever dream” au. Half of me is thinking, damn maybe I should answer this serious- LOL HAHA no. That’s not happening. Time to crack my knuckles and let my brainworms take over again.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. I want to switch up my characters from the last brainworm post but I included Kaeya and Diluc.

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Today’s appreciation post goes to twistedwishes. Hey! I’ve been seeing you pop up a lot lately and thanks for the support 💕💕 I hope things are going better for you and you’re doing alright^^ I feel kinda bad for making appreciation posts on crack fics but hopefully this is somewhat funny haha. 

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Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

  @mikeysbike @hanniejji@unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife  @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki​

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Diluc

Absolute pretty boy who has braincells, but only if Kaeya is not there. In his mind, Kaeya’s presence makes his room loose 40% of their common sense. He can’t prove it just yet but he’s working on it. He majors in accounting but also has a minor in marketing, logistics’ management, fia- he majors everything business related. He’s going to become the next Elon Musk through smarts or by getting the competition drunk. There can be no contest if he’s the only candidate. He’s actually a hard working guy that overworks and stresses way too much. You have daily “Diluc recharge” evenings where he just hangs onto you while you go through your day.

“Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” except there is no coffee - he drinks grape juice out of juice boxes and his only energy boost is when he meets up with you - and that’s his constant mood. So he usually only hangs around you and Jean, since she has childhood friend status and is actually an angel. By default, Lisa is added and Diluc doesn’t mind her but if he see’s Kaeya, it’s full on war paint mode. If he's not busy with work or studies, he's usually with you either in your dorm or his apartment.

He has a fanclub and he seriously hates it and tries to do everything in his power to get Ningguang to take it down. Shouldn’t this be against his rights? But she refuses for whatever reason and makes a whole speech about free will. No matter what he does, someone manages to take a picture and it get’s printed in the university’s newspaper. The only bonding time he has with Kaeya is every Monday, where they collect and burn all the universities newspapers before anyone can get their hands on it. You always bring marshmallows to make smores during their arson activities.

“When I graduate I’m going to burn this school down to the ground. That’s not a threat it’s a promise.”

Ningguang

Is secretly the leader of the Diluc fanclub - not that she likes Diluc, she’s in a questionable platonic poly marriage with you and Beidou - but it was the easiest way to gain funds for the student council. Which she is the president of, so rip Diluc the fanclub stays. Ruthless business woman I tell you. But she can run in heels so her danger factor rises by at least 20%.

Majors in social sciences and law but more specifically the political science & government. She saw the Imperial State Crown that the Queen of England wears and says yes, that’s mine now. If she’s not with Beidou and you planning on “how to infiltrate the state government just for lols”, then she’s with Keqing, Ganyu, and Zhongli discussing student council things. Should they or should they not tell the student body that they can see everyone’s search results? Sit back and relax as the school goes into chaos. 

She’s probably the scariest person on campus No, she is the scariest person on campus. She’s the scariest person on campus. But secretly she’s popping 20 aspirins just to make it through a night. She has the digestive system of steel. She still holds the title of "seriously do not try and beat her in a drinking game it's never going to happen" and that's her proudest achievement in life but sadly she can’t put it on her resume. Kaeya is still trying to beat her out of spite but so far it hasn't been working. You’re seriously concerned for her when she get’s challenged but Beidou gives you a way-to-hard slap on the back and cheers her on. If Ninngguang somehow get’s alcohol poisonings she’ll somehow find away to make a profit out of it.

"I'll let him die, I'll get the insurance money."

Kaeya

One day he chugged too much mouth wash, passed out, and somehow woke up in university majoring in law. His idea is that if he is apart of the law, he can therefore stand above it. To be fair, his only goal in life is to say “I am the manager” and he can go live the rest of his life in bliss or as a hermit. He’s secret best friends with you but wouldn't be caught dead beside you. He will stab a bitch if you ever get hurt but will still trip you on the way home. Seriously, you have no idea why people find him attractive. Your guess is it’s the eye patch or the clap of his ass cheeks that keeps alerting everyone.  

He’s apart of the newspaper club and if anyone asks: No, he has no idea who keeps taking all the newspapers and burns them in the back of the campus. Originally, he joined because he was nosy and needed to join some type of club for his resume. He sometimes feels bad for his junior assistant Amber because he keeps tricking her and says that Diluc is secretly a demon that is trying to steal all the jobs and is apart of the lizard government hell bent on eradicating the human race. He even brought out a whiteboard for this joke, he’s dedicated to his job ok? 

The type of guy to try and be humble and say his work is “okay” but will choke a bitch if anyone agrees. He tends to leave everything last minute and says that it’s his drug since actual drugs could land you one year in prison and a maximum penalty of $2,000. You have to awkwardly hold in your concerned mother head shake when you see him speed running his assignment literally right when the professor is walking around to check if students finished. 

“I was taught how to lead not to read.”

Mona

Broke wallet #2. Zhongli is broke wallet #1 but Childe simps for him so is he really a broke wallet at this point? In this essay, I Mona Megistus, will explain why I have the rights to the title “Broke Wallet #1″...

Believes that astrology should be an actual career path but refuses to take astronomy as her major. I can read the stars not a textbook that tells me how to calculate the mass of the sun divided by the fucks I give. Instead she went into Philosophy and cries to Albedo, who is an actual prodigy genius- sir lend some braincells to everyone else please?, that her professor keep turning her paper down because “star reading” is not an academic source.

Fischl wants her to join the occult club because, surprisingly, Mona is very good at telling people’s fates through her crayon sketch ouija board. She thinks first year Fischl is cute but is put off by the cosplay roleplay that she has going on. She would join except that stupid hat wearing gremlin in her lit class would make fun of her if he found out.

You gave her half your lunch one day and bought her a doughnut "because she seemed upset" and "out of the goodness of your heart" whatever the hell that means. She thinks you pensioned it but once that thought comes she takes a bite. Poison from a doughnut is not the worst way to go out, classes are hard enough. She’s waiting for the lord to strike her down anyways. 

“Its not about passing, its about doing better than everyone else.”

Venti

Slept through most of highschool and people question how he got into university. He’s a music major (wow how fucking original is that), and if anyone asks him to serenade someone or just do anything, he’ll do it for the right price. Or if you buy him alcohol because he still keeps getting ID checked. He’s banking on Kaeya actually becoming a lawyer or being on good terms with Diluc so he can finally stop being arrested for looking like a toddler.

Takes one step into classes and quickly nopes out and goes back to bed. Professors have no idea how he hasn't dropped out or failed. He just has some god given talent. He does whine at you to pretty pretty please with a cherry on top tutor him because you're such an angel and would never leave your poor but awesome best friend hanging right? He needs to get this essay down but how he is suppose to explain how the number 10 is symbolic and connects to the universe or the meaning of life. Do you think he can just say it’s apart of his culture and make up some random myth to pretend it looks like he knows what he’s doing? 

He’s honestly going with the flow and put his brain on the back burner all of highschool and only now realizes wait, I actually have to use my brain?

He’s been banned from most club chats since Venti has the no chill card. Someone says “lol I look ugly today.” and he’ll respond "yup, you look like a cow." and he get’s banned. Zhongli keeps a speed run timer on his phone just to document these occasions.

"Sad spelled backwards is das and das how it be sometimes."

Childe

An actual dumbass that somehow does well. He eats sandwiches with the crust off, this heathen. Surprisingly he’s studying to become a physical therapist but most of his experience has come from breaking his own bones. You’re scared how he's going to be if he actually becomes a therapist. If he'll make bets with his patients or try to one up whatever crazy injury they get into. Everything is a challenge to him that sometimes the best way to deal with Childe is to knock him out. 

This man really knows the way to a Zhongli’s woman's heart. Through micro transactions. Mona saw him accidently drop $20 and just shrugged and walked off. She has never been both spiritually and physically offended in her life. She did take the $20 though. As much as you hate leeching on Chile when he’s basically a walking wallet that probably uses bills as tissue paper, you can’t help but give him puppy eyes while planning on how to get into his will. If he even plans on having one, he might honestly write “whoever wins in a gladiator style duel in my funeral’s tournament, they will get my fortune.”. 

Any sport the university offers Childe is probably in it. Which is how he met Zhongli, challenged him to a fight, proceeded to have his ass handed to him, got a backhanded compliment, and screamed to you he was in love and how he found his soulmate. He's secretly very sappy and has cried and watched every Disney and Pixar movie at least 28 times.

"IM NOT TOO SPICY! I’M A TINY BIT ABOVE MILD IF ANYTHING!”

---

God if it isn’t Scaramouche, it’s Childe that ruins the aesthetic. This is why I hate you. Why do you people enable me like this, it isn’t even good. This is pretty much a @ yourself moment and I vibe hard with Venti. This entire post was just to make a joke about the clap of Kaeya’s ass cheeks alerting the guards.

This week might slow down since I have classes and assignments. My reply’s are gonna be late too, sorry;; (oh and thank you to everyone that was so supportive and nice when I mentioned it. All of you. Beautiful 💕💕 )

[terrence-silver]

So you know that ask that one anonymous did awhile ago about beloved running away and Terry never being able to find her? I have one regarding that if you don’t mind hehe, imagine if it were only TWO YEARS LATER (so still 80’s Terry) he’s walking through a park alone, and he sees his sweet, beautiful beloved sitting by herself as well. The two look to one another at the same time, tears fill beloved’s eyes, she runs to him, and the two throw their arms around each other. What else would happen?

―

There's a park near Griffith Observatory, not far from where his estate grounds stood, and a dusty trail that winds up, to a pinnacle overlooking the city skyline on a hill, riddled with shrubberies and the heat scorched flora, relatively remote, an Aston Martin with tinted windows is regularly parked by the side of the cliff at dusk, and for two years now, one Terry Silver takes a walk alone up and down the route. Sometimes he smokes, sometimes he doesn't --- he vowed to quit that shit since 1985, since approximately John and he fell out, but it wasn't the lack of discipline and willpower that kept him from it. John liked to smoke too --- a habit Terry got him to indulge in. Quitting tobacco would feel like the end of an era and he didn't want the era to end, not if it was in his power to slow it the fuck down. Command time to go at his allotted pace. Terry sometimes had this acute fear that once the 1989 comes to a close, he would disappear along with the decade itself. Evaporate and no longer be. But, up here? Above LA? Time felt slower and everything smaller. At the tip of his fingers. He could pick a street and cover it with the palm of his hand, like deity. Bribing and paying off the uniformed security detour to let him walk out here at midnight was no hassle. They know him by name, really. Mr. Silver. Night shift starting from eight in the evening, until six o'clock in the morning and Terry knows when to come to escape the buzz of the shiny city grid.

Often, he just stands there, at the precipice of the mountain.

It was the second year anniversary of you leaving, or rather, running, coincidentally, right after Johnny slipped off radar and refused to accept his calls, even though Terry immediately tracked him down to a homeless shelter somewhere in some downtown dump in San Diego. Terry went to John, but it was like talking to a brick wall. Stubborn, prideful, difficult, as always. Had to practically crawl through the window of the room to speak to him. Finding you proved to a challenge in comparison Terry hasn't yet encountered. He fired several of his people on the job for gross incompetence. He prided himself on being able to get what he wants, whenever he wants it --- or rather, who, yet it is like the ground opened up to swallow you and you were beyond his reach purely to spite him --- a thing beyond his control. He went cold turkey on the coke soon after. His Sensei back in Korea once told him and John there's nothing a man cannot conceive with sheer willpower. People get themselves out of a wheelchair with willpower. They survive wars. Crawl out of a foxhole. Terry Silver would purge himself on willpower. On discipline. Thing is, he suspected it would come with major side-effects. People usually go on Neurotin while in the state of addiction and withdrawal, meanwhile, Terry was absolutely clean, seeking to dominate his own body to function how he wanted it to. He was as clean as the pitch blackness of the skyline. He supposed he wanted to do things his own way and not someone else's way.

Sometimes, he hallucinated, though.

He spots you sitting on a nearby rock, legs practically hanging in the abyss, framed against the vastness of the shimmering vista down below, shadowed and dark, eyes meeting. You could very well be a carved, rugged statue at the edge of the cliff and the steep hiking trail, presiding over nothingness. If Terry Silver had no sense to mistake an illusion for reality and approach you, he knew he'd tumble down the mountainside and to his death, but he supposed this too was an act of discipline. Him proving a point to himself. Testing his mettle. He contemplated buying out the whole place, privatizing the observatory, so those tourists and their bullshit equipment and cars wouldn't disrupt the peace, but for now Terry comes out here and he watches, hoping to see and spot the imaginary illusions of a patterns in the face of the bare stones around him. Counts down each whiff of smoke hanging in the air he inhales before chucking the crumbled Cohiba down the precipice under his feet, extinguishing it on his own skin and feeling no pain, just as he was trained to do, adjusting his golden Rolex. It is a finely tuned nightly ritual he indulges in after he comes back from the Dynatox offices downtown, forcing himself to tick like immaculate clockwork, balancing himself out. The next time he turns his gaze towards the spot, you're no longer there. He slides a stack of money to each guard at the gate and he drives home.

Terry doesn't find you in the darkness of the night.

You're mine, he whispers to the blackness, we are one and I'll find you.

[stellocchia]

Okay, now that I have a bit of time it’s time to analize that disaster of a custody battle stream, also known as Tommy and Wilbur visiting Las Nevadas!

As always this is gonna be quite long so I’ll put everything under the cut and remember that I’ll only be talking about the characters. Also for the dialogues the colors are: Quackity, Tommy and Wilbur

One thing that I would like to point out before we get into it is that c!Tommy is pretty much spiraling throughout this stream (he dissociates and shows his suicidal tendencies more clearly) so it’s good to keep this in mind when analizing his actions and words. 

First of all here’s Wilbur’s pov of it: Wilbur's POV

And here’s Tommy’s: Tommy's POV

I’ll be using both for this.

One thing that is immediately interesting to notice is that, despite supposedly living with Phil we mostly see Wilbur around L’Manhole.

“Have you been sewing? Knitting? That can be a dangerous sport if done too quickly” (just wanted to point out the tailor!Tommy bit)

So first of all is the confirmation that the stone never had a use beyond keeping Tommy occupied back when Wilbur asked for it. The task of gathering the stone could also have been a test on Wilbur’s part to test Tommy’s obedience considering that it was a tedious and apparently sensless task that most people would not have taken on.

Afterwards we have an interesting little bit where Wilbur demonstrates that he is still extremely knowledgable when it comes to tnt, knowing which blocks are more resistent to it and even being able to deduce that the ufo was blown up from the inside (something he’ll lie about later). 

“Someone’s a little copycat. Hey tommy someone’s a little copycat~” (in reference to what happened to Purpled’s ufo. This could be interpreted as derogatory we’ll have to see if Wilbur appreciates someone imitating his work)

Quackity’s book is then introduced, though at first Wilbur is very vague about it’s contents before straight up lying about them (saying that it said: “My dearest friend Wilbur, I’ve really missed seeing you, come to project Nevadas your best friend Quackity”), here’s the actual contents of it:

It is possible that he didn’t mention the actual content to Tommy because he was afraid Tommy would have kept him from meeting Quackity if he knew that he seemingly agreed with Wilbur’s ideology, though this is just a theory. 

Another interesting thing is that Wilbur keeps referring to Ghostbur’s resurrection site as his “tombstone” despite Tommy having already told him last time that he didn’t get one. Perhaps this is a show of Wilbur’s own fear of being forgotten or of having been inconsequential to the bigger narrative (his continued search for the confirmation that he did have a big impact would seem to point to this).

“Will, I’m accustomed to people lying to me. Just tell me: will the book, whatever is in there, bring us more primes?” (this is an interesting way for Tommy to let Wilbur know that he knows he’s lying while still trying to keep the conversation more light herted)

On their way to Las Nevadas there is an interesting instance of Wilbur standing still near a creeper instead of trying to protect himself so that Tommy has to intervene (similar instances happen multiple times throughout the stream) which could be a portrayal of his self-destructive tendencies and kinda mirrors Tommy's behaviour in exile. 

“Every person we’ve spoken to aside from say, I don’t know, Jack Manifold. Every person aside from Jack Manifold has taken a bit of a disliking to me. Oh and Phil, Phil was lovely too, and you actually! Come to think of it the 3 people I care about most, Jack Manifold, you and Phil, have been the nicest to me”

There are a few things I wanna say here: first of all there is one manipulation tactic that consists of making yourself out to be the victim in a certain situation in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion in the other and that’s what Wilbur has been doing both in this stream and in the past when mentioning that people hate him despite every single person he met (aside from Tommy himself) actually being rather kind and accomodating. This does probably come from Wilbur’s own self-hatred and his view of himself as a villain but, once again, I would like to remind you that manipulation is still manipulation even if you believe in what you’re saying. 

The second point I wanted to talk about briefly was the line about only caring about the 3 people he mentioned. Aside from how truthful he is about all 3 of them (I’m sorry but I have a hard time believing that he cares deeply for Jack Manifold when he didn’t even used to remember who he was) he also later mentions that there are other people he would like to see, basically it’s like the L’Manburg situation: just because Wilbur says he doesn’t care about something it doesn’t mean that it’s true.

“They told me it was like a small little town where Big Q sells funny potions and liquids from his van” (so from Tommy’s understanding Las Nevadas was a mix between the drug van and og L’Manburg. I wonder if we’ll find out who gave him this idea)

Little note about Wilbur throwing Linda (Tommy’s prized shovel) away twice during this stream almost casually.

“Tommy stand back. Tommy stand back” (Wilbur interposing himself between Tommy and a situation that might be dangerous, I’ll talk about this a bit later but keep it in mind)

“I’ll tell you what: it’s nice to see you out of that stupid vice president shirt. You know I never thought you were fit for that vice president thing anyway, I think that this is- this is- what- what are you like the concierge of this area? Like the cleaner?” “This is so nice!” “I don’t know what to call it Wilbur all I know is that this is my place. This is mine. I own this place”

It is interesting to note that Wilbur apparently did not think too highly of Quackity, immediately assuming he must be and employee rather then having a leading position, he even expresses that he didn’t think Quackity was fit to even be vice president. It’s also interesting to point out that Tommy gets immediately uncomfortable with where the conversation is going and splits off from the two to explore while also being extra obnoxious in an attempt to split up the fight he knew to be coming (he is always rather perceptive), to which Quackity responds only with amusement (actually humouring Tommy), while Wilbur simply ignores it for the time being. 

“If I’d known there was a place I could align myself to as quickly as this I would have done it sooner” (could be both a search for community as well as him generally prefering being aligned to a country as he comments later on that he’s not a fan of anarchy by mentioning that him and Phil don’t see eye to eye on this)

This is when Wilbur brings up Quackity’s book for the second time mentioning that he assumed it was an invite to joing Quackity in Las Nevadas, which turns out it wasn’t. 

“So that’s the invitation to work alongside you I assume, I- I accept. I accept. I’d love to come in” “Big Q I also wanted... can I move into the big- the big penis?” “*laugh* No Tommy. Wilbur, Wilbur” “Yeah?” “No? No?” “That was... that was not an invitation I’m sorry Wilbur” *Wilbur checks the book again* “That’s not an invitation. Wilbur, Wilbur, my nation will not be subject to your... unpredictability, alright? Thank you so much for coming, thank you so much for visiting Wilbur but, uhm... I don’t need any- I don’t need any extra members right now” 

So taking this conversation a bit at a time: Quackity is the first person since Wilbur has come back (aside from Tommy, but Tommy’s opinion really doesn’t matter to Wilbur) who hasn’t tried to accomodate him. He set his own rules and stuck by them not willing to budge on it at all. Also it is interesting to note that Quackity so far doesn’t seem to be interested in letting Tommy join either, only changing his demeanour later after Tommy calls Wilbur out on his lying. This change of mind could both be tied to a crack he noticed in Tommy’s loyalty to Wilbur as well as done to spite Wilbur himself. Or both really. 

“[Las Nevadas] It’s like one of those visions you have after being in the mines for several hours” (Tommy mentioning having hallucinations once again)

“No... no, you’ve got it all wrong. You’ve got it all wrong man. Okay okay, maybe, maybe I was unprdictable in the past” “But it’s really nice...” “But I’ve turned over a new leaf Quackity! I don’t lie anymore, I don’t- I don’t, you know, I don’t deceive, I know nothing about tnt anymore. I’ve forgotten everything I knew about tnt, it’s ridiculous I-” “*snicker* Ok- mmm, well... Will, well” “Is he lying Tommy?”

Also here we have a clearer example of Wilbur lying and deceiving right after asserting that he doesn’t do it anymore (he deceived Tommy on the book and lied about his knowledge on tnt) together with Tommy calling him out on it.

“This is the best place on the server! This is like heaven! Paradise!” “Quackity we can stay, right?” “You seem to like it a lot Tommy” 

Immediately afterwards there’s where Quackity seems to change his mind about letting Tommy stay while also ignoring Wilbur in the process. Again we really don’t have any definitive indication for the reason why he changes his mind, it could be because he saw how much Tommy liked it here as much as it could be to spite Wilbur. Any conclusion for either is pure speculation.

“Quackity look at me, look at me in the eyes. I. Am. Your. Servant. I am at your service. I have run countries, I’ve won elections, I’ve done everything that you will need in a leadership role, Quackity. Even not in leadership! I can- I can be, you know, assistent to president”

Another less known form of manipulation. Wilbur wants power within this new country so he offers to cover a more “subservient” position to have Quackity let his guard down so that he can achieve his role. 

“Will this is so cool!” “Tommy SHUT UP!” “Hey! What a fu- hey what a fuck?!” (a bit of Wilbur’s “affable” persona slipping away paired up with Tommy immediately noticing that that was not okay and calling Wilbur out on it)

“Wilbur listen to me: I saw what you did to L’Manburg and I’m not letting Las Nevadas have the same fate as L’Manburg. I appreciate Tommy here, I appreciate you checking this place out Wilbur but, I don’t need your services, I don’t need your presence, you’re very unpredictable” (Quackity once more standing his ground and repeating that he does not trust Wilbur in the slightest and also reaffirming that he does want Tommy there instead)

It’s interesting to notice that all throughout this exchange, while Tommy was off exploring Quackity was the one often paying attention to him while Wilbur ignored him the whole time before snapping.

“So we’re not allowed?” “Tommy, I need to talk to you Tommy” “Am I allowed? Or is it just Will?” “Well, I’d love to discuss it with you” (Quackity is the first person that actually directly addressed Tommy while ignoring Wilbur since Wilbur’s resurrection and that’s quite interesting. It could be that perhaps he noticed that Wilbur seems to consider Tommy almost like an extension of himself and that he tried to drive a wedge into that)

The next few minutes are spent with Wilbur trying to find out exactly where the confines of Las Nevadas are.

“Tommy come with me. Tommy at my side please” (addressing him like a soldier again)

There is a back and forth between Wilbur and Quackity where Quackity tries to deflect Wilbur’s question about his ownership of the adiacent forest multiple times, but Wilbur does end up finding out that it’s not Quackity’s land. (Wilbur also has a throwaway comment about that forest being Paradise in response to Tommy calling Las Nevadas that which Tommy disagrees on).

“What’s the point in capitalism without healthy competition?” (Wilbur announcing he wants to create a country next to Quackity’s)

“Wait, where are you going?” “Just over here Tommy. Stay by my side, by my side” (once again an emphasis on wanting Tommy nearby, which isn’t new)

“You know what Wilbur? You’re right: capitalism strives on competition and I’m ready for all the competition you can bring me” (Wilbur is positively giddy at this declaration, which makes me think that he does truly see this competition mostly as a game)

“Will I don’t want to start a country, I very much like that country there” *Tommy points at Las Nevadas* “With the stone-” “Tommy we- we’ll discuss this in a minute” “No...” “No no no, Tommy seems to have some concerns about building a country from the ground up” (Tommy under) “Listen, listen, guys, guys, I was over there” (Quackity over) “So how about you take Tommy’s opinion into consideration? For once, for once in your life since you’ve never done so before” (Tommy under) “Can we please listen to me? You [Quackity] are not lis- you’re not lis- you’re actually speaking over me”

This is the first one of many conversations this stream where the fight has moved from the power pissing context Wilbur and Quackity had going on to Tommy. It’s also where they starting weaponizing him more and more (his traumas as well as the other’s treatment of him) while each trying to prove that they’re better for him then the other. Of course this isn’t actually about Tommy, it’s about power once again. Quackity has undeniably noticed by now how Wilbur treats Tommy (aka as an extension of himself) together with being pissed that Wilbur challenged him on his own territory (challenging Las Nevadas which is Quackity’s most prized possession) so he decided to repay him in kind. 

From here on out Tommy seems to spiral more, standing up for himself less, looking more and more uncomfortable (especially when the other two start bringing up his traumatic experiences) and slipping back into dissociation and self-loathing behaviour.

“You showed great interest for my country Tommy and I would like to speak to you about that” “Yes” “Wilbur I don’t think you’ll hold Tommy down and make him join your country” “I have utter fate that Tommy will make the right decision” (both of them starting to put pressure on him, subtly influencing him with their wording) 

Tommy and Quackity have a chat together alone (though Wilbur is listening in). 

First thing that happens is Quackity bringing up the hotel which Wilbur implies later was done maliciously, though we don’t know if Quackity knew that the ownership of it didn’t go back to Tommy once he came back to life.

Afterwards Tommy asks Quackity about his scar. 

“If I’m gonna speak to you I want you to be honest with me, ‘cause I’ve spent quite a lot of time with people who just bullshit me, they lie to me and I’m not doing that anymore” (this is one of Tommy’s 2 priorities in life right now. What he wants can be boiled down to honesty and safety)

Quackity does explain honestly what happened, though the information that they spent their time hunting down Techno while Tommy was in exile instead of trying to help him does understandably upset Tommy quite a bit. (Also Wilbur finally makes himself a sword).

“But if this [butcher army] was while I was in exile you’re meaning to tell me that you put in all of the effort to kill Techno instead of helping me?” (...) “You know I needed help and no one came to see me” (this set back his mentality regarding exile quite a bit I’d guess. The anger is more then understandable)

Quackity doesn’t deny the accusations but he does deflect a bit saying that they can talk about it another time and that he is not Tommy’s enemy to which Tommy agrees.

“How would you like to run the official food business of Las Nevadas” (this is Quackity’s big offer for Tommy)

(Wilbur putting pressure on Tommy in the meantime)

After this Wilbur intervenes directly inquiring on wether or not they were done. Quackity tries to get in a last minute sale pitch to Tommy who is getting quite overwhelmed and asks for some time to think (which he is now given by Quackity, but not later by Wilbur)

Wilbur also expresses worry for Tommy’s safety while they’re coming back, though how sincere it is it’s unknown (I think it's at least partially sincere worry, but I doubt that's all there is to it). That said I want to say that multiple times in this stream Wilbur has seemingly shown to be protective of Tommy when it comes to Quackity, often almost treating him as if he was incapable of defending himself (as if he couldn’t 1v2 the two of them easily). For example here, even though Tommy said that he can take care of himself Wilbur immediately responds out loud with an: “okay I’m coming” and bringing out his sword.

“Listen Tommy I heard what he was saying to you man and you don’t seriously believe that do you?” (keeping the question very open so that Tommy can interject his own doubts. Also Quackity technically didn’t lie once to Tommy and, while there was a bit of deflection on his part so far he hasn’t been all that manipulative if I’m being honest)

Wilbur proceeds to tell Tommy that if he stays with Quackity he’ll be nothing more then a caterer (strongly implying that that’s not something he wants) and Tommy chimes in saying that that’s not for him.

“Listen Tommy I’m not gonna stop you but, I’ll be honest with you man, you’re all I’ve got” (set up for the guilt tripping later as well as once again putting himself in the position of the victim so that Tommy won’t leave him. Also he denies that Jack and Phil count as well because the first is too busy and he doesn’t agree with the political views of the latter)

“I wanna make a place where we can be safe for once. Tommy it’s been so long since we felt safe and man you deserve it. You’ve been through so much, you’ve done so much, Tommy you’ve changed the world! And all you’ve got to show for it is some scars and some trauma. Tommy you deserve this safety and this sanctuary and that’s why I wanna make it with you and you won’t get it over there”

Now this should sound familiar to quite a few people, mostly because it’s pretty similar to the tactic that Quackity himself uses. First identify the victim’s vulnerabilities and their desires (Tommy only wants 2 things and only one is connected to physical places so safety it is). Second relate to the victims experiences repeating that they do deserve to get what they so desperately want (check back Quackity’s conversation with Fundy if you want to see that done really well). And lastly emphasise that you’re the only one who can give them what they want.

“You know what has substance Tommy? Family. Blood” (what sparked back the canon sbi discourse)

“I haven’t- I don’t wanna make my mind now ‘cause it’s- it feels like-” “Tommy you need to make your mind now” (putting a ton of pressure onto Tommy, enough that Tommy is reminded of his time in prison)

“Tommy I love a challenge” (considering the context and the fact that this is in response to Tommy hesitating on who to join this is most definitely about him. Wilbur definitely still considers this, at least partially, part of his and Quackity’s game)

“If you pick Las Nevadas what am I gonna do? Man, what am I gonna do? I’d never hurt you. I’d never want anything bad for you Tommy” (mixing in a bit of guilt tripping with a bit of lies. Now, it’s probably not a lie that he wouldn’t want something bad for Tommy, but the thing about never hurting him? I mean, this stream is a proof of the cotrary)

“You can go with whatever you want, but just know what you’d do to me” (once again painting himself as the victim while guilt tripping Tommy)

“I put a lot of things to the side that I shouldn’t of. I prioritized the wrong things, I put revenge over humanity. I guess all I’m seeking right now is someone who’ll be honest with me and a place where I can feel safe”

Here it is, we got Tommy’s desire spelled out by him. This is what makes him so vulnerable to Wilbur’s manipulation, the fact that Wilbur knows how to pretend that he can offer this. Also the first part of this is another recognition of how unhealthy his mindset was while he was with Technoblade, which makes him saying that he betrayed Techno and feels guilty about that afterwards even more sad because he recognizes that being with Techno was not good for him but still bashes himself over leaving him even if he really didn’t have any other choice if he wanted to stay true to himself. It’s quite tragic and it’s once more a show of his self-loathing. 

“This can be a safe place for them [Techno and Tubbo]” (Wilbur is using the informations Tommy provided him in a moment of open vulnerability to manipulate him further)

Tommy then agrees to stay with Wilbur though he seems far from enthusiastic about it. He seems to believe Wilbur when he says he's gonna make a safe space for him and the people he cares about, but also seems hesitant to fully trust him.

“Big Q is gonna wish he never fucked with me” (still in regard to challenging Wilbur’s perceived ownership of Tommy)

The stream is far from over though. After that conversation between Wilbur and Tommy they start to build a stone penis over the lake and Wilbur and Quackity get in a very heated argument that leaves Tommy incredibly uncomfortable. The whole conversation consists in Wilbur and Quackity shouting at each other about things the other has done to Tommy (all traumatic for him) while Tommy makes himself smaller and shuts down. First Qauckity accuses Wilbur of emotionally manipulating Tommy (which is true), then Wilbur accuses Quackity of using the hotel against Tommy (which wasn’t actually true) and they keep going like that. 

“The one thing [the hotel] Tommy’s tried to do was a failure” (way to undermine achievements like putting Dream behind bars there... however to be exact this is a manipulation tactic known as “shaming” which consists in undermining the victim’s worth to foster feelings of inadequacy which makes them more vulnerable. It’s a tactic Wilbur has used quite often since Pogtopia)

“Great job Wilbur of doing to Tomminnit what you’ve done your entire fucking life” (Quackity does sound actually upset) 

“Don’t try to compare me to you Wilbur, me and you are not the same” (this does align to Quackity’s desire to not live in other people shadows any longer)

“Hey hey hey hey, don’t come near Tommy, don’t come near Tommy” “Will, Will, hey hey, let me speak! This is about me so let me speak! I don’t know I-” “I just don’t want him to hurt you. I just don’t want him to hurt you” “I can fend for myself. You weren’t here for a long time. I thought, I thought you [Wilbur] were gonna make me feel a little bit safer, let me tell you now either of you-” “Fellas fellas” “No shut the fuck up! I didn’t feel- that didn’t make me feel- that was weird, I didn’t- don’t do that either of you” 

Now this is both Wilbur once again babying Tommy and treating him as if he’s not capable of taking care of himself (it could be done out of sincere care, but that doesn’t make it any less patronizing) and Tommy actually standing up for himself. Tommy made himself as little as possible during their confrontation and didn’t utter a word and now he finally got a bit of confidence back to say that he didn’t like that and both of them still tried to interrupt him. And Wilbur immediately went to say that he won’t do it again, but Quackity will as if he didn’t listen to a word Tommy just said. That said after that Quackity does apologize to Tommy specifically (though how sincere that was is debatable and Wilbur also accepts the apology as well even if it wasn’t directed at him) and invites the both of them to have a tour of Las Nevadas. Tommy wanted to refuse the tour because he was already visibly overwhelmed, but Wilbur ignores him and proceeds to accept anyway. 

“Quackity I wanna say from here on, as much as we may have our disagreements here man I- we gotta leave Tommy out of this” (they don’t)

“Tommy I’ll take it back, I’m fine with you working here and still being, you know, as long as you still hang out with me and don’t leave me on my own I have no problems with you working here man” (except they both already put an incredible amount of pressure on him and Will in partucular already made him feel guilty for even considering sort of leaving him)

“At the end of the day it’s okay Tommy, you make your own decisions, but let me keep showing you around the TommyInnit res- uh, I mean the restourant” (very sneaky there Quackity. Naming things creates attachment btw) 

Btw, Quackity and Wilbur are still very tense, but they both put their differences aside in a split second to get Tommy away from the strip club, which honestly is just funny. Also once again Wilbur goes before Tommy inside the casino in case it’s dangerous.

They then gamble for a bit and Tommy bets Linda away and looses it. They then go up in the white tower. 

“This would be such a good point to just jump off and just end it. Woah” “no no no Tommy get down!” “Tommy get down from the rail” (casual reminder that Tommy is still extremely suicidal, though at least this time there was someone there to get him down)

Quackity and Wilbur have a small conversation while Tommy is still checking out the view which mostly consist in Quackity trying to find out more about the Revival Book (while feigning complete ignorance about it). 

Meanwhile while dissociating Tommy puts down some water to the side of the tower and then jumps in it while taking it away (therefore technically jumipng off, but not dying because his fall was slowed down). Quackity notices and immediately panics, while Wilbur places some water down for him so he can get back up. 

“Tommy come here, I’ve got you, I’ve always got you” (both helping and emphasizing his wish for Tommy to depend on him as much as he does on Tommy)

After that they talk for a while and Quackity brings up the conversation that he had with Wilbur which is the moment Wilbur realizes that the “You were right” in the book was referring to the pre-Pogtopia him. Also Wilbur talks about the things he’s lost (years of his life and people are the two things he mentioned). 

“There’s lots of people I wish I could see. Like I wish I could just tell them ‘I’m alive’ and apologize and also thank them” (I do think he’s sincere, but it does make me a bit sad that Tommy was not in the list of people who deserved an apology in Wilbur’s mind)

After that Quackity seems to take an interest in Wilbur’s plans specifically, but, before he can investigate further, Tommy gives him his own answer and declines his offer of manning the restaurant saying that that life is not for him, it’s too relaxed (Wilbur's reaction to it is also worth notice). 

“I don’t wanna run a food stand. Wilbur gets things done” (sorry to Tommy here, but, genuinely, when’s the last time Wilbur got something done without Dream’s or Tommy’s help?)

After this they get back on the topic of the Revive Book and Wilbur reveals that Dream is the one who brought him back. He also admits that he wants to thank Dream for saving him and describes him as his “hero” again. Quackity himself reveals that he has been visiting Dream.

“Oh who cares about Ghostbur?” “Don’t fucking say- don’t- he killed Ghostbur” (once again Tommy should not be here for this conversation considering how triggering the subject is for him)

“I can’t believe- you’re like a misinformed parent, you’re just wrong” (Tommy both pointing out that Wilbur is wrong and admitting that that’s due to a lack of information)

“The prison is not just this thing, this dandelion. No no no, the prison-” “How are you back then Tommy? If you died” “Dream killed me to prove a point. That he- (continues under) he’s omnipotent, he’s got this God complex” “Quackity I need to get in there”

Once again not letting Tommy speak even if Wilbur himself asked the question, though this time it may be because if he listened to Tommy’s story and his experience with Dream he would realize that there are some incongruences between the version of Dream he created in his mind and the real Dream. Between his hero and Tommy’s abuser who beat him to death to prove a point. This split in his mind in how he views Dream was already evident in the last stream with him fip flopping between wanting him dead or not. 

“Tommy, Tommy, I’m not gonna talk shit about them [Sam] without their presence here alright?” (Quackity being protective of his own business patners)

Also Tommy manages to deduce on his own what Quackity has been doing to Dream, though he gets to the conclusion with the wrong clues. Either way after finding out how to visit the prison Wilbur leaves in a hurry telling Tommy to go with him as well.

“I’m a big boy Tommy, I’m a big boy, I’ll be fine” “Wilbur I’m a big man, but I was not fine” (Tommy tries to explain Dream’s danger to Wilbur by making himself vulnerable again, but it doesn’t work as Wilbur doesn’t listen)

Afterwards Wilbur tells Tommy that he is going to the prison and ignores any of Tommy’s concerns on the matter.

“Tommy listen, I didn’t wanna spring things on you because I’m really trying not to be a shit person to you Tommy, right? I’m really really trying. And it’s easy, it’s easy not to be a shit person to you, right? Because we got people like Quackity over there who are just- you know he said it best I’m not gonna talk shit about him behind his back"

If he’s not trying to be a sh*t person to Tommy he is failing miserably. Truly this whole stream he either ignored him, talked over him, talked about incredibly triggering stuff in front of him or tried manipulating him. This was all their interactions summarized. Pettiness aside though, he still badmouths Quackity by handing Tommy the book and telling him that Quackity agreed with the “old Wilbur” (not specifying that he is referring to pre-Pogtopia Wilbur and that he himself still agrees with the “old him”) to villainize him. He also acts like Tommy is being unreasonable for not wanting him to go, despite having died there and having seen Ghostbur die there. Wilbur does say that he won’t go if Tommy really doesn’t want him to, but he leaves telling him they’ll talk about it again right after Tommy tells him this: 

“I don’t think you should do that, he’s more powerful then you think you are”

Left on his own Tommy reminisces of when he went to the prison looking for closure as well. He then borrows an ender chest from Quackity for his and Wilbur’s little stone shack and then goes to the middle of the lake to listen to cat. 

[artdev]

I’m probably gonna get attacked for this lol

Tommy Character Analysis

From a sane yet angry child

The character of Tommyinnit is one of the worst characters on the entirety of the Dream SMP. Yes, the other characters have their flaws, and they have all done some very horrible things, but Tommy has continuously made bad decisions. These decisions have done nothing good for himself and have caused suffering for the other members of the SMP. In this essay I will provide reason to the fact character Tommy fucking sucks and every other character, yes including Dream, are so much better and have redeeming qualities to their characters. I will give a disclaimer: this is about THE CHARACTERS not the CONTENT CREATORS

Tommy’s First Days on the SMP

Tommy’s first day on the SMP was the last day of peace that server would ever see. From the get-go Tommy did nothing but cause nothing but problems for the original people on the server (Dream, George, Sapnap, Bad, Sam, Ponk, Callahan, and Alyssa) which resulted in a ban from not only from Dream, after refusing to obey under his exile he was put in, himself but also from George. The bans were lifted but everything spiraled from that point on. Tommy was the spark that started the disc war. This was a war that spanned over a series of months because Tommy would not stop killing Dream, so in return Dream confiscated tommy’s discs as a punishment, it was Dreams server, so he was not going to let Tommy go around causing problems without consequence.

Quick history

L ’Manburg

L’ Manburg started out as nothing but a drug caravan, started by Wilbur and tommy, would grow into a large country separated by large black walls keeping everyone out and let only a select few in. After a war Tommy did the only selfless thing, he would ever do in his whole time on the SMP. He gave up one of his discs for L’Manburg’s independence, after losing a dule with Dream. In all this tommy keeps up his thieving and antagonizing ways.

The election

The election was Wilbur’s attempt to regain power and respect within his country, there were multiple parties, POG 2020 (Wilbur and Tommy), SWAG 2020 (Quackity), Schlatt 2020 (JSchlatt). POG 2020 was the overall winner but was beat out by 1% by Schlatt and Quackity who had formed a coalition. With Schlatt as the president and Quackity as the Vise President the country is changed to Manburg, the walls are torn down, and Tommy and Wilbur have their citizenship is revoked and are banned from Manburg.

Pogtopia and Manburg v Pogtopia

Pogtopia was the ravine that served as a base for Tommy and Wilbur after the election. This is when techno (my fuckin beloved) had joined and sided with Tommy and Wilbur with the promise of chaos and war. With techno on their side, they start to build up and prepare for war. The war between Pogtopia (with the old residents of Manburg) and Manburg (pretty much everyone else on the server). The war ended with Schlatt having a heart attack in the remains of the destroyed drug van, Tubbo becoming president of Manburg, followed by Wilbur blowing up the country, with assistance from techno, and his grand death at the hands of his father.

Exile

Tommy was sent into his third exile by Tubbo after Tommy once again was causing problems for Tubbo and the new L ’Manburg. Tommy was sent thousand and thousands of blocks away from the greater SMP and he was not allowed to return unless he wanted to die. After spending months in exile with Dream coming by every day and taking Tommy’s things, and tommy almost taking his last canon life, tommy had escaped exile and went to the closest place he could go. Tommy set up a base under Technoblades retirement home and was soon discovered by Techno. Despite Tommy stealing Techno’s items and just being a annoying ass bitch, Techno let Tommy stay. With the help of techno tommy was able to sneak in and out of L’ Manburg.

Final L’ Manburg War

After a confrontation in the remains of a now destroyed community house, Tommy had sided with Tommy, another declaration of war, with Dream and techno going to blow up L’ Manburg. Tommy planed with the other members to gather resources to face off the most powerful people on the server. In the end L’ Manburg lost and was destroyed with nothing left but a sizable crater in its place.

The end of the disc war and drams imprisonment

The end of season two of the SMP was the end of the disc war, after tommy and Tubbo meet up with Dream at the top of a large mountain, where the three fought to get the discs. Dream eventually leads the two brits to a bunker where Dream had been collecting the attachments on the server, like Tommy’s cow henry, Ghostbur’s sheep Friend, and open slots for other pets and Skeppy. While Dream was going to kill Tubbo he was stopped when the entirety of the SMP, lead by Punz, came through the nether portal that led into Dream’s base. They surrounded Dream and caused him to surrender, and landed him in pandoras vault, a large prison built by Sam under Dreams request. Whist Dream has been in prison Tommy has visited a few times and has done nothing but was nothing but an annoying child to an already suffering man. During what was supposed to be Tommy’s last visit he ended up being locked in the cell with Dream due to a potential security breach in the prison, meaning tommy was stuck with Dream for what was only supposed to be a week. Tommy was stuck with Dream for more than a week, like was stated in the terms and conditions of the prison, this extended time alone with Dream was bad for the both of them and it led to tommy losing his last canon life. Tommy was revived by Dream three days later and was freed from the prison shortly after, now out and full of fresh trauma.

Present events

After being revived and released back into the world tommy swore that he would kill Dream. As of tommy’s most recent lore stream there was an attempt. Tommy armed with invisibility and fire res pots, under the cover of Ghostbur paying Dream a visit, snuck into the prison to kill Dream. When tommy finally go to Dream’s cell, he got to trigger happy and took out the axe to soon which ended in tommy being caught by Sam and left Ghostbur stranded with Dream on the other side of the lava. Now that Dream had Ghostbur he would be able to bring Wilbur back and that exactly was happened, Wilbur is now back and as crazed as ever with 13 and a half years of isolation on top of that.

Tommy and His Trauma

I will not ignore Tommy’s trauma, nor will I downplay what he’s been through, cause truly been through a lot. That being said his trauma should not be used as an excuse to blow off what he’s done, if one is going to do that you better danm well not go around and ignore others trauma. Tommy has been through some horrible things, his exile, Dream’s manipulation, being beat to death in prison then being revived, losing not only a brother figure but also a place he called home, as well as the manipulation from Wilbur, these things can really do some damage to a kid or an adult. Tommy though uses his trauma to excuse any wrong thing he does. There are characters on the SMP with similar trauma, Jack Manifold was the first character to come lose all his canon lives but he came back out of spite, both Tommy and Jack went through something similar. Jack, however, doesn’t use this trauma to make excuses for being a massive prick. Jack uses what he’s been through as motivation, while it’s one of his motivations to do something bad, but he doesn’t use it as a hindrance. Now let’s look at someone has experienced the same things as Tommy, Tubbo, Tubbo went through almost everything Tommy went through plus more. Tubbo was manipulated by Dream, saw his country get blown up TWICE, hell he had to mourn the death of his best friend on TWO SEPREATE OCCASIONS, he was killed by someone he thought he could be trusted, was manipulated as well as verbally abused by Schlatt when working in his cabinet. Tubbo has gone on to build his own little town, start a family, he had run a country pretty danm well and created NUKES. Tubbo doesn’t let what happened to him hold him back from doing great things or keep him stuck in his old ways, Tubbo was able to break from what he originally was, a side kick, and has done wonders.

Tommy and His Relationships

Keep in mind this is not about whether Tommy cares about people it’s about how he acts and how that affects others. Tommy cares people so I cannot shame him for that, but despite that he still causes problems for said people.

Tommy and Dream

Tommy and Dream have never gotten along, anyone with fuckin eyes can see that from a mile away, they are always at each other’s throats and always butting heads. Dream is normally pretty levelheaded, until Tommy comes around. When Tommy was trapped in the cell with dream that was bad from the start, but the extended time was even worse. Tommy has always been an aggressor towards Dream, during the war for L ’Manburg when Dream was meeting with Wilbur, Tommy lashed out at Dream and put the independence of this new nation on the line to try and fight Dream. Now on to more recent examples, Tommy’s death. When Tommy was trapped with Dream in the cell Dream was pretty stand offish, if anything he was excited at first, being stuck in a cell with no one to talk to is pretty fuckin lonely. That excitement was sure to be short lived. Tommy is quick to start antagonizing Dream, hitting him, hurling insults at him, and just being all around unpleasant, Tommy would also take things like Dream’s clock and books and throw them into the lava just to upset him. Tommy also killed the one thing in prison that Dream had, a cat that he named hope, another thing Tommy took away just to show “what happens to things you care about”. All these things would build up over time which lead to Dreams burst of anger and caused Tommy’s death.

Tommy and Technoblade

Time to get absolutely PISSED. Techno was never a person to Tommy, he was just the Blade, a weapon to be used till he was not needed. Ever since Techno first logged on Tommy though he had scary dog privileges, getting mad at techno for when he went and assisted Wilbur in the destruction of L ’Manburg when techno had made it clear he was not a fan of government. After Tommy had fled from his exile he went to hide under Techno’s home without Techno’s knowledge, before he was discovered by Techno, he would steal from him and use them in useless ways, such as decorating his hidey hole with gold blocks or how he stole Techno’s gapples and ate them when he didn’t need to, practically wasting them. Once he was found by Techno, Techno let Tommy live with him despite being a leach, he let tommy eat the gapples, and even assisted in getting tommy in and out of L ’Manburg, he even hid Tommy from dream and lied to one of the most powerful people on the server to keep tommy safe. Techno was very patient with Tommy and what does Tommy do? He goes around and goes back to Tubbo, the man who exiled him in the first place, actively backstabbing Techno, and when him and Dream team up and destroy L ’Manburg for the second time he has THE GULL to get mad and shame Techno for it, it’s fucking awful.

Tommy and Tubbo

Tommy and Tubbo are great friends, I can’t lie about that, but he still manages to make shitty decisions that affect him. When Tubbo was president of the New L ’Manburg Tommy started causing trouble, all starting when he (and Ranboo) burned down George’s house, forcing Tubbo to put his vice president under a probation. Even after being put under the probation, he still caused problems. Tommy made Tubbo choose between the safety and freedom for his country or his best friend staying, in the end it was tommy’s fault for being casted into exile, he just wouldn’t behave and follow the rules. He also constantly pushed Tubbo’s trauma to the side to put a spotlight on his own, making him the center of attention, ignoring someone who’s supposed to be his best friend. Now, I will say, he did do something good for Tubbo, during the final disc confrontation he gave Dream the disc’s they were fighting so hard for in return for Tubbo’s safety, I have to give credit when credit is due.

To The C!Tommy Apologists

I know people are going to come after me for this, to any Tommy apologists reading this, please just can it /nm. In canon tommy is about 20 something? You can’t keep using “Oh HeS a ChILd!’ CC!Tommy is a child. Yes, I understand he’s traumatized, so is every other character on the SMP, he isn’t special. Also, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LEAVE US DREAM APOLOGISTS ALONE. All your arguments are so similar and you all thing dream, who is obviously mentally ill, deserves the everyday beating which is incredibly fucked up. Now I know not ALL Tommy apologists are like this but it is a lot of them, regardless of what dream did, he does not deserve to be rarely fed and he does not deserve the constant torture. Also please stop wit the whole ‘dream is obsessed with tommy’ shit, I can’t remember the tag for it at the time of writing this, but it is the creepiest thing I’ve seen and everyone portrays dream to be some yandere stalker and its just not poggers to be honest, and it comes off as very predatory which is ALSO not poggers. To any tommy apologists friends I know IRL this is not directed at you and just know I love y’all.

[whumperooni]

You can spray trash gold but that doesn’t it make treasure

Pairing: Keigo x Older Sister!Reader

Tags/warning: tw incest, humiliation, panty kink, tw toxic power imbalances, masturbation, getting it on during a dinner party

Word count: 813

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

"Your boy is so talented, Takami-san! Track star, honor student, class president- is there anything he can't do?"

A titter of pleased laughter sounds and your lips curl into a smile as you hook your chin over your brother's shoulder, nuzzle against his cheek with an amused hum.

"Hear that praise, brother? She thinks you're such a golden boy. Such a good boy."

Another hum and you kiss his cheek, glide your lips up to the shell of his ear and sink your teeth into it just to make him squirm.

"I wonder what she would think if she could see you now," you muse- tone playful, tongue sour with spite, heart fluttering with pride that can’t be tamped down even with the envy that twists and twists and twists so painfully tight through your chest.

A jerk, a muffled whine- your smile grows as you watch teeth dig into a chapped lip, as a tan hand grips a twitching cock tighter and grasps the frilly panties Keigo is jerking off with oh so frantically.

Frilly panties- your frilly panties.

A soft laugh slips from you as you catch your brother's cheeks darkening, as you catch just how desperate his jerking is becoming.

"A pathetic, dirty boy," you coo, fingers tracing over his chest. "They wouldn't look up to you if they knew you like getting off with your nee-san's panties."

A gasp, a twitch- Keigo's head snaps back with a moan and you slip your hand over his mouth, muffle the noise before anyone can hear and spoil your fun.

"Hush," you half scold, half tease, "you don't want everyone to hear. You don't want your sainthood tarnished by something like this."

You reach a hand down to press your little brother's hand tighter against his cock and golden eyes widen- snap open and crumple shut, gleam with some wetness that has your own lashes lowering as your brother lets out a low moan and a breathy little whine of your name.

It's delicious, this. It's delicious reducing the big man on campus into nothing but a needy little boy.

You feel so alive doing this. You feel so powerful. You feel so fucking vindicated pulling him from his pedestal.

"Are you going to cum, Keigo?" you croon- both mocking and loving all at once. "Are you going to cum for nee-san? Cum all over my panties?"

Keigo gasps and a hissed "shit" slips from him as his hips start to shake, his cock starts to twitch. You swallow back your greed and hunger and pull your hand back right as he starts to cum, stare down at your beautiful little brother with heated cheeks as he muffles a cry with a bitten lip, as he swallows a whimper and falls into a panting, flushed mess.

Outside the room, the dinner party continues on softly. Inside, the fawned over golden boy shudders and looks up at his older sister- at you- with enough loyalty and ashamed need that it has you almost sinking down onto his cock then and there.

You don't, though- there's a party to get through and as the older sibling you should be more responsible.

It doesn't stop you from giving a teasing stroke, though, as you put Keigo back in his pants. He whines at the touch and you smile sweetly at him, press your lips against his and don't pull away until you're both kiss pretty and spit is clinging to Keigo's lips.

You wipe it away and you fuss over him for just a moment, right him and kiss his cheek with some small scrap of affection, soak in the quiet, embarrassed, adoring little nee-san that he mumbles.

All star athlete. Straight A honor roll student. Class President. Mr. Popular.

A pathetic little pervert that likes to get off with his big sister's panties. A needy little boy trapped under your thumb, eager to demean himself at the snap of your fingers.

He's everything.

He's nothing.

He's yours.

Smiling, you push Keigo out of the bedroom and into the fray- a smirk tugging at your lips as you watch how forced and scattered his focus is, satisfaction running through you whenever his eyes seek you out again and again.

If he's the perfect son, the golden boy- then what does that make you? Evil, nasty big sister corrupting the good child? Loving older sibling with power no one realizes? Disgusting big sister that likes to take advantage of your brother and his base, pathetic desires just to finally feel like you’ve got the one up on him?

It doesn't matter what you are- no one cares about you while Keigo is shining so bright.

Let him shine. You know underneath it all who- what- he really is.

You know he's nothing but ever loyal, ever loving trash.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

[michaels-two-dads]

Ok the one last thing that I left out because it was getting too long:

What if Wilbur is doing the Burger scheme and just trying to mess with quackity as much as he can partly because he wants to see his breaking point, of like how long till quackity treats him like everyone else, like a ex-president terrorist etc. Who’s inevitably going to to fall back and do the same mistakes again.

If he sees Wilbur create a scheme similar to the past, will quackity change? What will he say? What is he gonna do?

His alternative motive thats been hinted at could just very well be Wilbur trying to figure out quackity

Again, it’s the constant flow of paranoid questions that quackity raises, the schemes and tests to see how he’ll react, the constant thrill of the unexpected, the unexplained

It keeps him running.

And c!wilbur will keep on pushing and pushing till he finds the answer to why quackity is different, why does he see him in a different light than anyone else.

Wilbur from the latest stream was caught so off guard and touched by Ranboo seeing him in a different light as well, and he immediately asked after ‘why?’ and Ranboo gave him an open answer, all his cards shown like Wilbur said.

The difference here is that quackity won’t give him an answer, it’s still a mystery. And that kills c!wilbur because he’s obviously a very physiological character, and values learning the mindset and perception others have. And not knowing why quackity sees him differently, why he treats him like he’s alive again, why he doesn’t feel like he’s just another limbo again, leaves him desperate and begging for an answer. It’s the bigger-picture challenge here other than just ‘providing some competition’ to rivial Las Nevadas out of spite.

GOD

GOD

YOU’RE SO RIGHT.

QUACKITY IS WHAT KEEPS HIM ALIVE!!!! FUCK!

[votederpycausemufins]

-slams fists on table- part two! Notes are that I miss Grumbot and I feel like Scar gives off worried dad vibes and Scar and Grian feel like they’d be bickering siblings. again a ping to @petrichormeraki​ for making this au.

In spite of the revelation of this bee apparently somehow being Tubbo, Tommy did not react with yelling or screaming. Instead he started by just staring at the hive where he had fallen after tripping, thinking about the new knowledge. And then he screamed.

Responding to the scream, the bee, uh, Tubbo. Tubbee? Yeah Tubbee. Tubbee popped out of his hive and flew over to Tommy. Tommy, still not completely okay with what was going on, scrambled back a few blocks. Tubbee didn’t care and just flew all the way until he settled in Tommy’s lap. He nuzzled against Tommy, the spinning compass that was now on the floor once again pointing towards Tubbee before returning to spinning wildly.

“Okay. Fuck. What the fuck. Tubbo I know you like bees but this?” Tommy gave a nervous chuckle. “This is too fucking far.”

Tubbee buzzed happily, not seeming to realize Tommy’s distress about his current form. He then started to fly around Tommy, bopping against him happily as Tommy pulled out his communicator to send a message to all the Hermits that were around. ‘Something really fucking weird happened and I need help. Even from Xisuma if he can come back.’

Almost immediately a new message came in with a buzz. It was from Stress scolding Tommy for his language. The next was from Scar who was surprised Tommy needed Xisuma’s help and asked what was going on. As Tommy typed a response, just along the lines that it was hard to explain, Xisuma replied in the chat saying he was on his way.

Tommy set his phone back down and just sat on the ground in silence as he waited for the admin to arrive. The phone buzzed a few more times, but Tommy ignored it for the most part. There was a distant sound of a firework launching and the teen figured that would have to be Xisuma. Tubbee also seemed to hear the noise, because immediately after it sounded, he flew and hid inside the nearby hive.

A few seconds later, the door opened to Xisuma. He started to speak but was pushed aside by a panicked looking Scar. “What happened?! Why do you need X’s help?”

Tommy shoved away the second hermit who was already looking him over for any injury. “God, stop acting like my fucking mom. I just have a weird bee.”

“A what?” Scar pulled away suddenly, causing Tommy to almost fall over. Tubbee decided this was the perfect time to come out of his hive and fly over to Tommy for comfort. “Oh, that kind of b.”

Xisuma looked between Tubbee and the hive. “It looks like it’s using the hive correctly, though it is still attracted to you. Are you sure you don’t have any-”

“I don’t have any fuckin’ flowers. And it’s not a normal bee.” As Tommy talked, he wasn’t really paying attention to the fact that he was now subconsciously holding Tubbee and petting him. “I think my friend died and is a bee now.”

Both Scar and X just stood there, staring at Tommy and Tubbee. Before either of them could speak, the door slammed open again. “What happened?! Why do you need X’s help?” Grian shouted.

After a bit of calming down and making sure no more hermits would come racing over out of nowhere, Tommy explained about his friend who really liked bees, how the two of them had special compasses pointing to each other, how they would be in different servers but the compass was pointing to this bee. As the various Hermits talked, Tubbee decided it was a good time to explore and buzzed about the old hobbit hole.

“You’re saying this bee is your friend… reincarnated or something?” Grian asked skeptically.

“That’s the best clue I have.” Tommy answered with a shrug. “Not like I have much to go on. I’m not gonna drop back home and ask around saying ‘Hey, Tubbo die while I was gone?’ cause no matter what they wouldn’t let me back.”

“I can try and get some of my old magic crystals and try them on him.” Scar piped up before getting a shove from Grian.

“Those things don’t work.” Grian chided before being shoved back.

“A man-!” “Teen.” “-Teen has been turned into a bee, I doubt my crystals are that useless in a time like this.”

Xisuma carefully separated the two other Hermits. “Before you do that, I’m going to try having a look at his code. See if there’s any truth to the claim first.”

The comment hurt Tommy. “What, you don’t believe me?” Xisuma tried backtracking but Tommy stopped him. “Of course there’s something! Bees don’t just fucking act like that and compasses don’t just point at bees.” Tommy grabbed his compass from the floor and held it up. It spun wildly for a few seconds and one of the hermits was about to point that out when the needle changed its mind and pointed to Tubbee for the same amount of time before spinning around again.

Grian’s eyes widened and he managed to speak first. “That is bonkers. I’ve never seen that before! X, what does the bee say?”

“Can’t say much of anything.” Scar half mumbled, getting a jab in the ribs from Grian.

Xisuma turned his gaze to Tubbee and carefully grabbed him. Tubbee panicked for a few moments, but realized he wasn’t in any harm and let himself be held by such a large and kind looking bee.

X didn’t usually take advantage of his admin powers, at most messing with the end files every so often so the Hermits could get more shulker boxes. This was much different than that. Still Xisuma looked at the code of the bee. There was nothing there that directly seemed to be player code. There was something that resembled it, but nothing concrete. It just seemed like a, pardon the pun, a bugged bee.

“There’s something off, but it doesn’t seem like this bee is another player.” Xisuma informed Tommy, letting Tubbee go.

“What? Of course he is! This has to be Tubbo!” Tommy was taken aback by X’s claims. “Isn’t there someone else that’s better at this than you.”

“Tommy...” Scar spoke gently, but Tommy just turned and yelled at the mayor.

“Shut up! And don’t try using any magic mumbo jumbo on him!” Tommy grabbed Tubbee as he tried to explore again.

Grian tried holding in a laugh, but Tommy noticed and glared at him. “Look, I know some hermits had some machines last season that could tell fortunes or whatever, but we don’t really have that many here this season. I mean, there’s Grumbot, but he’s…”

No longer glaring, Tommy nearly jumped happily at the words. “Who’s Grumbot? Is ‘e another admin here?”

“No, no. He was uh, so I had Mumbo run for mayor and we built this robot to give us information on how to actually help him run for mayor and give mayoral advice, but he didn’t really-” Grian was scratching the back of his head, not sure how to explain it all to Tommy when the teen cut him off.

“Tubbo was president back home, maybe that’s close enough to mayor. Where is he?”

“Tommy, slow down.” Scar chimed in. “ I mean, uh, I’m the mayor, so Grumbot didn’t really help. Plus, didn’t you have to pay him diamonds for every question.”

Grian groaned. “Yes. I don’t know why that was ever a good design idea. He also had a mental breakdown when he thought Mumbo lost so we kinda… lied to him and told him Mumbo did become mayor and now he’s living in a virtual reality box.”

Tommy wracked his brain, trying to remember why that sounded familiar before he remembered. “You mean that mustache box off the coast of the shopping district? I’ve seen it a few times boating back home from there.”

Grian tried to backtrack, but it was obvious anything else was a lie. Tommy ran to the various chests, rummaging around until he found a spare lead.”C’mon Tubbo, let's go see this Grumbot.

Grian tried talking out of it, but Scar stopped him to talk with Tommy instead. Pulling the teen over to the side, he started to scold Tommy before lowering his voice. “Look, I don’t know if that machine is gonna work for you or not, but this seems important to you. From what I can tell you need to put the diamond in and press the buttons in order or something.” As Scar pretended to go back to scolding Tommy, he slipped a diamond into the boy’s hand. “Well, hopefully he’ll listen to reason.”

Getting what Scar was trying to do, Tommy put the lead away and sat down. “Yeah… guess I’ll just have to use what I know right now.”

Grian looked a little suspicious, but Scar managed to lead him out. Xisuma started to follow them out, but turned to Tommy and asked him to send updates. Tommy nodded and pet Tubbee, trying not to get too restless as he sat there to wait.

After waiting so long that Bdubs had to call the sun back, Tommy pulled out his lead again and built a boat. Carefully tying the lead around Tubbee, he climbed into the boat and tied the other end to one of the oars before paddling towards spawn. Eventually, he reached the large white box, and noticed that the mustache was not actually on the box, but a different building further on. Because of that, Tommy doubted about if Grumbot would be here, but when he found an opening and went in with Tubbee, he saw the computer.

Tommy expected something much smaller but Grumbot was huge and a bit overwhelming. He seemed to be staring off into the distance, and when Tommy looked that way, he saw recreation of the shopping district.

Pulling the diamond that Scar gave him out of his pocket, Tommy waked to the base of Grumbot and looked at the labeled buttons. He pressed the one labeled prime Grumbot and flinched at the slight grinding noise that came from the machine. While that made Tommy reluctant about the idea, he had already come all the way out here and started the process, so he might as well finish it up.

Next he pressed the boot load brain button and then the flood mayoral reservoirs one. More noises sounded from the machine and then Tommy looked at the last label. ‘Deposit Question Diamond.’ He was about to just put it in before he saw the anvils. After dying the other day, Tommy didn’t have many levels, but he had at least one.

Putting the diamond in an anvil, Tommy renamed it with a question and placed it in the machine and pressed the final button. Trying to help, Tubbee also bopped against the button as Tommy stepped back to look at the screen of Grumbot. The happy eyes changed to standard ones, and then they looked down as a paper dispensed.

Tommy ran back over to the machine and grabbed the paper to read it. There were only four words on it and just seeing the number nearly made Tommy tear it up, but then he actually comprehended the words. ‘Use the fourth button.’

Tommy looked back at the buttons and noticed the 4th one was made of a block. Pulling it out, he then placed it into the nearby mechanism and pressed the other three buttons. It took a bit of finagling to use the fourth button, what with it now missing. But then the screen glitched and then it glitched again. Tommy looked between the screen and the answer printer, angry to see no response. With that anger, he kicked Grumbot, and then the screen stopped glitching.

“Ah, just what I needed. A good kick to the ribs.” Tommy swore and fell to the ground at the booming voice that came from Grumbot. Tubbee was also scared by it and cowered next to Tommy. Looking up, he saw the screen no longer glitching and the previously stiff face looking very animated as it looked around, eventually looking down at Tommy.

“So, you’re the one who wants my help, yes?” The booming voice spoke again, making Tommy cover his ears this time. “Oh sorry, I guess I’m a bit too loud.” Grumbot apologized as he lowered his voice.

Tommy, having no clue how Grumbot was supposed to act, didn’t find his voice and much more emotive face odd. “Yeah, uh. So Grian told me that you did mayoral stuff and while it’s not the same, I have a friend who is, or was , a president and wondered if you could help with that?”

Grumbot’s face tilted as his computer head could not. “Your first diamond was asking about the status of a ‘President Tubbo’. While I have been here with only the occasional visit, I’ve had time for my redstone brain and so to upgrade and find new databases and reservoirs.”

“Uh… does that mean you know that-“ Tommy started to speak but was cut off.

“Yes. I know now my dad did not win the election. At the time, that was my only purpose. I was upset when I learned the truth when you activated me, but I have new purpose and my dads just did what they could to care for me.”

Tommy just nodded, not completely sure what all of that meant, more from not paying attention. “Okay, well I think my friend who was president elsewhere got turned into this bee.” And Tommy held up Tubbee.

Grumbot ‘leaned’ closer to see Tubbee and then looked at the data he received about a president Tubbo. “Your friend was not turned into a bee.”

Tommy frowned at the answer, arms falling to his sides, Tubbee now free to do more exploring. “What do you mean, my compass is supposed to point to Tubbo and it points to this bee, so it has to be Tubbo! He loves the things so much it makes sense he would become one.”

Grumbot added the new information to his data. “Well, that is neither your dead friend returned to life as a bee, nor your friend disguised as one. It is instead something else.”

Protests Tommy had been about to sling at the robot died in his throat and was replaced with a new question. “What is it then?”

Grumbot paused, making sure he could get all the data he had access to and could help. “Your world is… different.” The AI started slowly. “You can lose lives and eventually truly die. But you don’t just die and decide one is a true life lost. When that happens, you… lose a piece of you. Enough times and what makes you you can’t exist in a body anymore.”

Tommy interrupted Grumbot. “So Tubbo is a ghost possessing the bee?”

The AI glared at Tommy for a few seconds, screen background turning a certain shade of red. But then he calmed. “No, your friend is still alive, but he has had one of those special deaths happened. It was before you arrived here in Hermitcraft. That death broke off a piece of his soul and it managed to end up here. Whether the piece was active the whole time or it only activated once you, a familiar being, drew near, I cannot say.”

Tommy processed the information before asking a clarifying question. So, the bee is only like a piece of Tubbo?”

A piece of paper was printed out and then Grumbot’s screen went dark. Tommy grabbed the paper and read the word ‘Yes.’ There was also a post script asking for Tommy to kill Scar for the AI which Tommy laughed at. He then got the lead back around Tubbee and headed home.

Even if it wasn’t really Tubbo, Tommy found Tubbee comforting. Maybe even if this piece of Tubbo was here, Tubbo could feel Tommy on the other end, trying to care for his friend. Xisuma came to visit Tommy again after a few days and heard from Tommy what Grumbot had said. Grian came later that same day and freaked out when he learned about Grumbot, leaving almost immediately to go find Mumbo who was also online.

Scar was the last to show up. He was glad to find out that Tommy had piece of mind, but was also a bit salty about the fact he was stabbed and killed the moment he walked through the door, though it was his own fault for getting there at half a heart from crashing into so much while flying.