#he looks like he smells funny

[for-tammy-rae]

I would make him wear a condom but I want him

[willyhoos]

simultaneously wanting to cry out "HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME HERE" and "NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN"

aka what happens if you combine prime!sonic (sweetest boy) and fof!tails (most traumatized boy)

bonus: HE DOESN'T KNOW

[deja-mew]

HOT TAKE: Even after Unicron upgraded him, Megatron had to pick barnacles off himself for a good long while. I can’t imagine all the underwater critters that probably moved into him as a corpse. Maybe he wasn’t down there quite that long, but I’m sure he didn’t get away 100% critter-free. Barnacle boy Megs. Who else is here for that

[seriousturd]

Been loving this dynamic

[frostwork]

The idle animation Aventurine has where he sprays cologne and then just bathes in it man is out here constantly nose bombing every room he walks in with space Axe dkdkfmfnfk

[sweatandwoe]

Now that's been a year out, I'm gonna say my biggest BG3 hot take:

Default durge should've been a companion if you're playing Tav

[akkivee]

the latest camping event in ARB sounds really interesting! May I ask for a brief summary of what exactly happens? 🥺

sure lol

so the bros are on summer vacay let’s goooooo lol!!!!!!!! school’s out for jiro and saburo and ichiro’s elected to take a week off so they can take a trip!!!! ofc jiro and saburo can’t agree where they should go lol jiro wants to go to mountains and saburo wants to do an escape room but ichiro finds a nice middle ground by suggesting they do both; they’ll camp in the mountains and then hit up an escape room on the way back home 🤗

on bat minus kuukou’s end, the three of them had intended to go camping together but kuukou got held up by shakku lmao. while out fishing for their meal, jyushi was jumpscared by ramuda!!! turns out ramuda was in the area for inspiration for a fashion collection!!! hitoya’s not the happiest about the straggler but he lets it slide lol

we see the bros work together to whip up a fire curry, and afterwards they head out to see a nearby lake!!! thing is tho, something about the lake is kinda giving ichiro and saburo bad vibes 😕 jiro happens to see a shrine for what the bros assume is in reverence for a minor god, despite the creepy look its got going for it. someone suddenly shouts at them from across the way and!!!

it’s ramuda with jyushi and hitoya in tow!!!! crazy coincidence lol

the six of them spend time bonding at the lake; jiro saburo jyushi and ramuda were in the water, splashing each other (saburo was grouchy about it tho, saying this was childish and jyushi caught strays tbh lol), while hitoya and ichiro talked camping out on the shore. their fun was interrupted by the locals demanding them to stop disturbing the sacred land. ichiro apologised on their behalf but as the villagers left, hitoya overheard them muttering something about being fine for sacrifice???? but all that playing around makes people hungry so ramuda proposes they all eat together!!!! so the bros, jyushi and hitoya cook up bbq and pizza!!!! ramuda was mostly there to look cute lmao (ichiro chewed him out lol, saying he needs to do his part) bellies full, their day ends playing some games saburo brought over and fireworks jiro probably brought 😌

the new day dawns and we start with bb’s camp, ichiro’s got some morning tea ready. jiro wakes up and questions where saburo went, to which ichiro responds he was already gone by the time ichiro got up so he assumed saburo’s on a walk somewhere. a little weird for saburo but that’s cool except ramuda and hitoya suddenly run up to their camp asking if they’ve seen jyushi since he wasn’t at their camp when they woke up and he wasn’t answering his phone

that’s when they know something’s wrong

the four of them scour the forest and eventually hit up the village and the place looks as creepy as the that shrine does. hitoya ran up to a local, phone pic in hand and asked if they’d seen saburo and jyushi. the villager replied he hadn’t and warns them to steer clear of the village since it’s an important day for them (hitoya: …??), but jiro calls the fcker out bc the guy’s wearing the wristband saburo was wearing. jiro demands to know where they got it from, and the villager says they bought it. y’know like a liar, bc that was a special edition wristband saburo won in a game tournament. the villager escapes but that lie tips ichiro and jiro off that they need to search the village

we cut to a run down house where jyushi is frantically trying to wake saburo up. he’s slow to awake but when he does, despite initial confusion over where tf they are, he keeps a level head assessing the situation. which is good, jyushi’s panicking bc they’ve been kidnapped lol. saburo suggests the others will be searching for them so the best they can do is use a spare firework he had in the fire place as a smoke signal. tragically, they were found out by the villagers, and ichiro, jiro, hitoya and ramuda were too late. jyushi tho, left behind one of his rings to let hitoya know that they had been here. hitoya finally puts two and two together and deduces the villagers intend to use saburo and jyushi as sacrifices. they remember that creepy asf shrine and in a panic jiro starts off for the shrine, the others not far behind

they arrive just as saburo and jyushi learn they’re to be human sacrifices and the villagers explain that every year they bring a sacrifice for jyajyakou-sama (the name consists of primarily the kanji for snake) in order to stave off disaster. it’s a honour they say. but obviously we not letting saburo and jyushi be sacrifices so ichiro jiro hitoya and ramuda break out the mics and rap them into submission. with the villagers down, they’re able to free saburo and jyushi from their constraints but it turns out the villagers were still able to move. they begin to call out to their god, chanting about the cost for life and no matter how many bars the six of them throw, the villagers get back up as if they’re undead. finally, the six decide to run away

a little while later, back at yorozuya yamada, we hear from ichiro that hitoya sent the cops after that village. turns out tho.

there was never any village. no people, no records of it, nothing.

hitoya called bullshit so he went with the cops out to that village himself and there really was nothing there

and the bros are stunned to silence

[ratatatastic]

lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall

idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...

to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"

but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics

"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"

and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."

But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-

And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"

and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really

Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)

And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.

and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)

And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*

but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)

and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far

"You should really use your words."

"I am!"

"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."

"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"

"Sasha isn't most Alphas."

"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"

"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."

"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.

"It would work better if you use—"

"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.

like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know

[sealbee101]

mr. normal over here

[keeps-ache]

there is nothing that will grow your ego faster than a little dog following you around instead listening of anyone else. my puppy now

[arielluva]

came down with verocky brainworms again so this time i am putting them in situations! the situation in question being camping because why not (mostly bc i thought the fish picture would be funny)

id under cut and in alt text

[ID: some digital drawings of vera misham and wocky kitaki. on the left, there is a colored painting of the two of them. vera is holding a fish in front of her with both hands, while wocky is standing to her right with his arms crossed. both have neutral expressions. wocky is wearing a green hat that says "women want me, fish fear me" and has sunglasses on while vera is wearing a green fisherman's hat and vest over her normal clothes. on the right, there is a 5 panel comic drawn in black and white. panel 1: wocky and vera are sitting by a campfire. wocky is roasting marshmallows while vera is drawing in her sketchbook. panel 2: the fire dies down suddenly, causing wocky to react by saying, "huh?" vera notices the fire has gone down. panel 3: vera rips the drawing she was working on out of her sketchbook, crumples it up, and tosses it towards the fire. panel 4: wocky, with a sad expression asks, "why would you do that?! :( one of your drawings..." while vera looks surprised as his reaction. panel 5: vera averts eye contact and, sheepishly, says, "it... wasn't turning out well..." end ID]

[invinciblerodent]

I've been thinking about how the Amell Warden and Hawke are related, and that house Trevelyan is technically distantly related to house Pavus, with a number of distant relations spread all across Thedas (Phillam, Lord Albrecht, Lady Osher...), and now I can't shake this feeling that I really, really want house Trevelyan to also be related to whatever the human Rook's last name is going to wind up being.

It just really tickles me to imagine my Inquisitor shrugging, like "Yeah, their family and us Trevelyans have about as much to do with one another as the Pavus and the Trevelyans. Or the Couslands and the Trevelyans. Or the Bayarts and the Trevelyans. The De Ghislain and the Trevelyans. Us Trevelyans have had fingers in a lot of metaphorical pies, so to speak."

(and then Dorian can have a cute moment, and say a little quip about how he's not surprised that his amatus comes from a long and prestigious line of heartbreakers, heyoooo)

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

Sometimes ppl draw the murder-rabbit-ghost-corpse as aesthetically pleasing. Sometimes ppl draw him as a smelly garbage bag full of worms. This is what we like to call, the duality of man

[cosmicterrorthe8th]

Another Grant headcanon:

I think he wrote love notes when in relationships, and he went all out with like making the paper scented and stuff. But like he had no good perfume so he ended up using his horrible body spray. So like the lucky boyfriend would like find a paper reeking of the body spray like every once in a while.

Also I think he was someone who fell deep into romance because having a crush and feeling butterflies in his stomach was better than numbness. So he would pursue every crush even if he knew it would not end well because of the thrill of it. I think this sucked but I think he atleast felt like this is a normal way for life to suck.

[todayisafridaynight]

word vomit anon back!!!

pirate majima game is funny...watching people complain abt rgg ruining majima is super funny because he's been a silly guy for like 7 games and a serious guy in one...can he not be silly again...just once more??? (also im sure this game is gonna be emotional in some way shape or form) also k3 heads stay in line yokoyama said it was coming one day he never said soon lol

'k3 heads stay in line' PLEAAASSEE VJLKEALKJ youre right tho i cant lie ....

on the real though yeah no like. majima can be serious at times but generally he's a zany guy, it'd be illegal not to capitalize on that in SOME regard

[snow-blower]

.