#he looks a lot more chill
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doodles of my fav sillies
anton belongs to @poicyss
#my brain is a barbie dreamhouse and theyre all just living in it#im especially fond of the second one because my mom used to hold me like that all the time <3#im drawing them a lot lately because im being crushed by the horrors and have to compensate for it somehow#homemade comfort blorbos......#watch me draw anton inconsistently bc i can never decide if i wanna draw him close to how he actually looks#or yassify him and give him soft fluffy hair and kind eyes and defined features. head in my hands#i dont really have a lot of drawing ideas for them bc they dont have like. a canon storyline or anything methinks#its just stuff me and bow toss around and giggle abt thru messages lol. maybe ill draw infant vincent one of these days#i just come up with stuff and draw them doing it. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside#cuz like anton works for lobocorp as an abnormality BUT hes super duper chill and cute and does his funny little tasks so its fine#AND hes unkillable. auggie is an oc ive had since like 6th grade and i smushed them together. and vincent was for fun but i got attached#i dont have much of a read on anton either bc i think hes meant to be more of an insert character??? if im using that right#on one hand i dont think too hard abt anything being ooc since im not taking it seriously. on the other hand i just hold them in my hands#and stare into space until i can come up with something to draw since i dont have much to go off of. but its fun to build on small tidbits!#i think bow called it an au so i guess??? its an au????? im not really sure. bow if youre reading this im just willy nilly#the only thing i know for sure is that they boink like rabbits. im talking gomez and morticia levels of boinking#maybe ill go back and look at my old doodles for them and redraw em lol#myart#my art#my oc#oc#friend oc#augusta#anton#vincent#sillies family#doodles
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I still think about how Leo’s ideal day out for the fam’s venture into the Hidden City was basically just an effort to get some rest and relaxation because boy does he never get that ever.
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#Leo is that one kid who’s like yeah dude I’m chill I’m laidback#and on the inside he’s just in a constant fetal position rocking back and forth#at least the others got a good amount of time spent in Tahiti but Leo’s out here like please god just one spa day 🙏🙏🙏#no but tbh? it’s genuinely a great look at Leo’s character that he wants to go to a spa to basically just sleep in the sun#it’s not bombastic or flashy or anything he legit just wants a good place to get proper rest and care#that hair spa can catch these hands LET MY BOY HAVE HIS SPA DAY 🔪#HONESTLY EACH PERSON’S CHOICE OF WHERE THEY WENT FOR THEIR DAY OUT SAYS A LOT#like raph wants to emulate who he perceives as those in justice in a desire to become more like the hero he so desperately wants to be#leo goes off on his own in order to let his guard down and actually rest for more than a lackadaisical facade#donnie goes with april not only to salvage his pride and condemn magic but also to hold onto his self worth and genuinely help out#and mikey thrives in family and specifically the harmony within family and how that is portrayed through the act of simply being together#in this essay I will-
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I know this isn’t a particularly common characterization of them (at least not what I’ve seen) but I personally think of the two;
Shanks rarely gets restless, he’s the one more content to just bask in a moment, it may not be in silence but he’s comfortable just doing nothing with his crew. As long as there’s alcohol, a hammock and the people he loves, Shanks is straight.
Contrary to that Mihawk is always itching to do something, entertain himself in some way. If he’s not dueling/training, he’s gardening if it’s not that then he’s cooking or he’s reading and if nothing else will do then he naps. but he’s always trying to occupy his time with something.
I think a lot of people don’t notice it because it’s not the jittery hyperactivity that people associate with it. But Mihawk is restless, endlessly so. He’s in a never ending fight with his boredom but it’s all internal.(except when he decides to make it someone else’s problem ala Don Krieg)
Mihawk’s the type of dude to implode instead of explode so it makes sense that things like restlessness don’t really show themselves in an outwardly physical way. Instead it’s more of an internal pressure and incessant need to stave off boredom. But because of his preference for being alone and the fact that the activities he chooses aren’t ones usually associated with restlessness. It goes unnoticed.
Except by Shanks who’s always going out of his way to make the life of a pretty little birdie a litte more interesting.
#Mishanks#It’s less flitting from project to project and more this burning need to be entertained#throwing thoughts to the void#it’s something I identify heavily with because by appearances I’m just lying in bed at peace#but restlessness and boredorm are a Pressing heat in my head that’s hard to get rid off#so maybe that’s why I identify with him that way#but I’m interested to hear other peoples opinions on this#I know alot of people characterize Shanks as hyperactive but he’s always felt more bubbly calm to me#like he’s sunny and loud but in a lazy way but that might just be his age showing#I’m not shitting on the take just thought I’d give my perspective#Shanks being the only one to truly see how lonely Mihawk is is something I hold dear to my heart#and something I’ll probably one day post about#dracule mihawk#akagami no shanks#hawkeye mihawk#one piece#op#red hair shanks#a character who has Mihawk’s general disposition but not his restlessness#is Zoro who much like Shanks is just chill to be lazing away in the sun in the presence of his crew#and sure he trains a lot but it never feels like it’s because he’s just looking for something to do
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Rey, who is in my very biased opinion, one of the funniest "girls" I have because she's just a guy, truly. Like Rey is just short for Reynold because he was recruited by a a goddess to help the hero she selected and the hero is conveniently Reynold's younger brother. So he agrees to help under the condition that the goddess gives him a female body for the other world. She's like "really odd flex but whatever" and gives him a female form and he's like "you know. I can't really blame anyone but myself for not specifying 'please don't turn me into a Lisa Frank personification'."
#my characters#ya know since i draw daily idk if ill do any challenges this month#i know theres a LOT of them out there but i might hold off and do huevember as a challenge and let this month just be chill#for what its worth he only asks for a female body because his baby brother (like 10 years younger than him)#commented ONE TIME ugh its so weird to have you dote on me like this#why couldnt you have been an older sister or look less suspicious#so when sent to help his brother hes like RIGHT GOT IT GIRL TIME LIKE THE MOST LOGIC COURSE OF ACTION#then does a really good job at helping the hero and then gets abducted by the demon army and#as rey keeps challenging the demons checking on him in the dungeon (who are all very kind?) to just interrogate him already#and they just ask why would they do that? they just wanted her outta the way for a bit#cause they dont actually want to hurt anyone and then the demon lord keeps personally visiting rey and continues#to point out how she gives him a headache and how the core is different than the shell#and so then he offers to revert rey back to his original form and reynold immediately accepts#and so now hes just a guy again surrounded by v nice demons#and hes like please just be mean ive been trained to handle violence you have to stop being nice#im not used to nice ok you have to be mean or else im going to develop stockholm syndrome#and the demons are just ?? we dont .... dont know.... what that is.......... what.....#then he gets engaged to the demon lord and all is well ! he becomes the trophy husband to the demon lord#and the world is saved (it was never at risk)#i have a lot of love for the idiots in this plot#because reynold and sascha are literal husbands thinking oh no my beloved husband is only married out of convenience to meeee#and solei is the goddess who recruited him and is so mad that reynold is more of a gremlin than sascha#like why is this mere mortal somehow worse than THE DEMON LORD how in the world#and reynold runs around just adopting all of the demon army and is like yeah#ill be the trophy husband with a hundred kids and a hot 7ft tall demon husband who can change into a huge dragon#and hes really content in this role!#but for a while he does appear as rey and hates how much of a highlighter he is
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Thanks to the blue guy!!
#absjsbsjs#listening to cry of fears sophie and drawing this made me feel something in a way#might get sappy sorry//#but I'll always credit wk for being an inspo for a lot of my stuff#one of the big things being an oc of mine#obviously he looks very different from mk now#but i won't hide the fact mk was a big inspo#also in general this show is so fun??#this fandom was also one of the more chill ones I've been (sure some things have happened but-)#it was nice#probably still is; don't know for sure#alright softie rant over lol#wild kratts#art#martin kratt
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Being a Merlin fan in the ToA fandom is hard.
#I’m just looking through the tags for some Merlin content and it’s just FLOODED with hate#all I see is seething hatred#more than is reasonable at this point#I mean#people are even calling him a creep now?#because he ‘flirted' with Claire????#bruh those were just his Arthurian mannerisms#there are a lot of characters in media who use that same endearing approach#plus if you hate Merlin for that you might as well hate Douxie for the same reason since he also flirted with Claire during his debut#I swear yall need to chill#tales of arcadia#toa trollhunters#toa wizards#toa merlin#merlin ambrosius
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my ideal terminal devotion dynamic is 'one fell first but the other fell harder'. i want damian to quietly pin after rakiel for years, never saying anything because he doesn't dare to ask or even hope for it and is content with just remaining at his side for the rest of eternity. and rakiel to be completely oblivious to everything until one day he looks at damian and realizes 'oh i need to crawl into his ribcage' and being a mess about it.
damian falling in love softly and gently, one kind gesture at a time. and rakiel not really falling as much as faceplanting all at once.
#i talk a lot <3#cpsm#cpsm spoilers#<- little bit#terminal devotion#damian cayenne#rakiel magentano#also. i just remembered rakiel *did* crawl into damian's ribcage that one time. also memorized the map of his heart. uh.#but anyway i love the idea of damian being completely chill about his feelings because he's had years to get used to the idea#of them being unrequited forever. only for rakiel to go rabid five minutes after having his feelings revelation.#rakiel represses so many of his emotions so much more than he even realizes. and then when they explode he's shaking and screaming about it#i want him to unconsciously put aside his feelings for damian until he takes one good look at them and gets run over by them#damian is quietly going on with his day and rakiel is trembling in the corner like 'i desire him carnally'
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Some things I grew up with... (I added too many things)
#im going to add the hashtags for the ones I still like a lot#a darker shade of magic#vicious#jojos bizarre adventure#dear evan hansen#be more chill#hamilton#animal jam#i only played AJ play wild tho :/#my little pony#the dragon prince#idkhow#trials of apollo#voltron#saiki k#adventure time#regular show#uprooted#from black butler i mostly liked William tho...he reminded me of Holland from ADSOM (only reason i liked william xD)#panic at the disco#tiger & bunny#almost forgot to add them#also i know those are the most basic musicals but i never bothered to look for more hahshdh#GOD i forgot to add “Free!” i wish i knew how to swim :'D#edit: okay i HAD to add “Free!”#free!
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who let this man dress himself
my design for dave miller ft. beef with god's strongest idgaf'er (jeremy)
#weeeeeee#here i tried to hang out and chill and not care about how my coloring looked so i actually had a lot of fun#spoiler:#my dave actually ends up being the one witnessing jeremy get bitten#which makes their 'shooting the shit' antics sting so much more#dude feels astronomically terrible#but he was simply in the way#those are henry's glasses. btw#many years ago he stole them out of henry's car one night when he was driving him home#this does not go unnoticed but henry just chalks it up to coincidence like everything else#five nights at freddy's#dave miller#william afton#jeremy fitzgerald#fnaf 2#art.psd#mucking queue#fnaf art#fnaf fanart#fnaf
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Dear God how I fucking hate when people dismiss s character's traits because "that's just a facade! you as the reader have to see underneath it!!" like yeah no fucking shit Sherlock, a well written character has more than one (1) defining trait but that doesn't mean their most prominent one or the one most recognized by fandom ISN'T there
yes this is about people thinking dick grayson isn't actually a ray of sunshine, that it's just a mask. he's much more than the happy one, of fucking course, all batfam members (when written well) are, but that doesn't mean that being happy and bright is not a crucial part of his personality. he brings light to people's lives, he's a beacon of hope, that's what Robin was born for, as a light to Batman's darkness. That's what Nightwing is. He can be serious, sure. He's smart, an amazing strategist, incredibly good at fighting, he can be manipulative and morally gray and sometimes an objectively bad person. But he's ALSO funny and quippy and bright and sunshine. BECAUSE HE'S WELL WRITTEN.
Like Jesus stop making him so sad and wrong all the time just because you want so bad to go against "fanon". It's not fanon if it's literally his core trait. It's not fanon if it's what the character was BORN AS. God.
#I'm not sure if this even makes sense#it's almost 6am I haven't slept and I just saw someone say he's a manipulative bitch and to stop writing him as a ray of sunshine#and now I'm mad#because this parson had this lukewarm takes with most of the batkids#like yeah I get a lot of damian's traits and back story are deeply rooted in racism#but like he did try to kill tim. and he killed a bunch of people when he first got to Gotham. that's a thing that happened.#and no matter how racist the reason behind that plot line might have been#it's something that happened and choosing to believe it didn't happen because it doesn't fit your preconceived ideas of how#a character should or should not be is just plain stupid#you can explore the character and change their personality and play with them in fanfic sure that's what we all do#but don't pretend that canon doesn't exist. you can choose to utilize it or not but acknowledge it even if it's just to spit in it's face#damian's not tame he's not more chill than his brothers he's not misunderstood#he's a child who had a horribly traumatic childhood and reacts with violence because that's all he knows#Jason's angry and he has every right to be and to say he isn't is to erase an incredibly important part of his character#you don't get to tell a victim how to be a good victim. Jason's a victim.#dc#batman#rambles#batfam#batfamily#dc universe#dc comics#batman and robin#dick grayson#Jason Todd#Damian Wayne#nightwing#red hood#oh look I made a post about dc that is NOT about Tim#wild huh
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time for clones
#hm i should make an original art tag#star wars#sw ocs#clone oc#clone trooper oc#cc mirror#cc beetle#cc watch#cc learn#my ocs#they don't work with any specific battalion or place or commander. they show up wherever they're needed.#and they do more than just the stuff listed there that's just like. their favorite specialties.#not 100% sure on beetle's armor paint. looks too simple to me. b ut I know not every clone is so colorful#he is long distance besties with kix. btw. i'm having kix tell him about the chips. so they can remove them before shit goes to fuck#watch's hair is that bright to make him easy to find. he definitely gets sidetracked and wanders off a lot#yes mirror's name is mirror because he does everything mirrored due to being left-handed#yes i know clones are probably trained to be ambidextrous. but he still favours his left more.#he might look serious but he's actually pretty chill. he gives his squad permission to be weirdos.#if the helmets and armor don't match that's because i lost my colors and had already fused the helmet's layers. a mistake i keep making
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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THE SNEK BOY GETS OVERSTIMULATED
#sanders sides#janus sanders#id in alt text#more specifically I’m thinking he can only stand a lot of stimulation for a certain period of time#like he frequently needs breaks#including from remus. especially from remus.#I bet he can just summon himself a Void to chill in#awww maybe when Virgil and Janus were friends they would just chill together when they both needed quiet#anyways. I’ll be pushing my ‘we need to look to snakes to get inspiration for how to write Janus’ agenda til I die#can y’all tell I have a snake hyperfixation
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i don't know if ralsei is a transfem or transmasc i just know he is trans
#melonposting#he is trans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yayy yippee#but then given his strange darkner relationship to kris' mind you'd imagine him to be some sort of gender mush#because kris a) is nonbinary b) aspires to be like older brother asriel and c) is autistic#like ralsei looks like said older brother asriel but is presumably more feminine than he is#and a stereotypical offhand for androgyny is 'feminine boy'#if we read ralsei as this trans-flavored stereotypically androgynous mush it's interesting comparing him to kris who's explicitly nonbinary#and just kinda chill about it? they'd presumably not care to fit any specifically androgynous nonbinary mold#they're just themselves#i love thinking of ralsei as this weird distorted part of kris' brain. like what if i were what you could be#like you could be your brother. you can be a wonderful boss monster boy like him#but oh you aren't a boy? okay you can be nonbinary. here's what a wonderful boss monster enby would look like#being nonbinary in the most inoffensive and palatable way possible. ha! you cannot tell what gender i am#but a lot of people assumed ralsei was a girl at first glance so i suppose it isn't entirely fair to say he passes as androgynous anyway#whatever. stuff to think about
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I don't know if anyone else feels this way but I think a big reason why I'm so chill about the changes made to the PJO show from the books is because I kind of look at each other as their own seperate canon.
Like, I read a lot of anime and manga, and anime adaptations have a huge habit for changing plot points for various reasons, and as a fan of said anime and manga, I've found that I can enjoy both versions of the same story even with the differences when I look at them as their own universe or canon. That's not to say I don't want them to be faithful or true to the source material, but if a scene or situation plays out differently for a logical or entertaining reason, than I can still appreciate that deviation from the manga even if I still like the other original version of that part more. And I can even like the reversal way if I feel an anime does something better than even the manga. But if I want to, I can look at certain moments as more canon than others because I got 2 different versions of that same scene or moment.
And, I don't know, I kind of apply that reasoning to the PJO series as well, mainly with the books, the show, and even the musical (not the movies put that right back where it came from). So far I'm loving the TV show, and while I miss some of the things they changed (like the pink poodle), this adaptation really is doing a great job with staying true to the heart and spirit of the original book that I personally am not even really bothered by the changes, especially when I remember that the books will always still be there with it's own version, or canon, of events.
Like, I will say 1 thing I adore in the books that isn't really in the show is the fact that a lot of Percy and Annabeth's "rivalry" during TLT has more to do with the rivalry between Poseidon and Athena. I just really like on how this adds a level of "forbidden friendship/love" to their relationship 'cause I personally eat the forbidden relationship trope up, especially when it's done well like with Percabeth.
Yet, even if this isn't really the reason percabeth have beef with each other in the show, I can still appreciate and enjoy that according to the show's canon, they have issues because they genuinely have problems with each other as actual people rather than their parents' rivalry, because at the end of the day, that's the PJO TV show canon, and I can always turn to the books for that version of Percabeth's "rivalry", as that is the PJO book canon.
Same goes for the characters too. I will always have and love my dark haired Percy and blond haired Annabeth in the books, but I can also welcome and love Walker's Percy and Leah's Annabeth from the show. And so far, they along with Aryan are KILLING IT as those characters.
I can love both versions of the characters.
I can love both versions of the same story.
I can look at both versions as they own seperate canon or mix them together if I so wish too (especially since both versions of PJO are written by the same guy)
And that's ok. The adaptation doesn't have to be a complete copy of the books. It doesn't have to have things play out eactly the same way. The characters don't have to look exactly the way they are described as in the books. And that's ok. I will still always have the books to love and appreciate, but I can also start to love and appreciate the new adaptation for it's new spin and twists to the same story that sets it apart as it's own canon while still staying true to the spirit of its predecessor.
Anyway, sorry if I'm not making a lot of sense. I just think the people complaining about the changes in the show are looking at it all the wrong way. The show has it's own canon just as the books have their own canon, or even the musical. At the end of the day, isn't that kind of cool to have different versions of the same story and characters? Doesn't it give you so many more options to look at the story in different ways that you can prefer or choose from? Doesn't it give you new versions of canon that you choose from? And really, as long as the PJO adaptation, or any adaptation for that matter, stays true to the heart and spirit of the original story and characters, do the changes made really matter?
#anyway sorry for the long post#I've just been seeing a lot of people complaining about the PJO making changes from the books and I thought I give my 2 cents#& I thought about how the show dies make enough changes to certain events or plotpoints that you could look at it as its own seperate canon#and how that actually is kind of cool as it gives us another version of the same story and characters#it's actually really neat to have different versions of the same story ya know#its like. if I ever want the Percabeth that has more of a 'forbidden relationship' thing going on. there's always the book canon to fall on#likewise if I want the percabeth where they're rivals because they have genuine issues w/ eachother. there's the TV show. ya know?#and if I want the Athena that I can at least somewhat believe might actually care for Annabeth. there's the book canon#whereas if I want the Athena I straight up wanna strangle from the getgo. I now got the TV show for that😊#same with the characters descriptions#I personally still imagine Percy and Annabeth as they are described in the books#but I am positvely loving Leah and Walker's portrayal of TV Percy and Annabeth so much. especially in these last few episodes.#and don't get me started on how much I love Aryan as Grover. he's the GOAT (literally🤭)#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk#I just think its neat that Ive now got 2. even 3 versions of PJO canon that I can love together and individually at my disposal now#and I just think the people who are complaining about the show aren't seeing it that way and that's why they're whining about changes#like. chill guys. we still have the books. but now we also the show and musical to give us new versions of the same story and characters#and is that not amazing when you think about it?#percy jackson series#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson tv show#percy jackson#percy and annabeth#athena#annabeth chase#grover underwood#book vs show#percy jackson books#percy jackson musical#percabeth
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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