#but has no idea how to like satisfyingly write the in between

[elibean]

also we are at the halfway point and like, nothing substantial has happened

[lintwriting]

How to Write Intelligent Characters (Like Wei Wuxian!)

Wei Wuxian has a really bad memory, but he is also smart enough to realize this and then use it to insult people as a joke—WITH plausible deniability to shield him from any potential consequences.

This interplay between extreme intelligence, comical brain farts, and layered social interaction is what makes MDZS so fun to read because it creates a real complexity to both him and his environment. There are multiple layers going on in this scene, with in-jokes and social factions and miscommunications, as there is in reality. And it’s a tangible demonstration of his intelligence, that he’s able to think of this deception in the first place and so casually.

But also it make the story less monotonous by having this complexity. 3 layers.

There the first layer.

“Extremely intelligent character” Like gadget inventor characters or nerdy hackers. Their hyper intelligence is useful for plot reasons, and highly competent characters are likable. And this is not bad for a side character.

It can go too far, however, such as in the case with BBC Sherlock, when the author makes the character so hyper intelligent he becomes an unbelievable god character and wraps back around to being dislikable again. Like the author’s personal pet character who can do no wrong with the excuse of his intelligence allowing him to do anything, leading to extreme annoyance whenever he’s on screen, which is all the time bc he the main character (is that just me?) lol

Then there’s the second layer to break up the monotony of intelligence.

Wei Wuxian has shit memory. Like laughably shit memory. Much like how video games create perks that also give you cons in specific ways to make your decision to use it more satisfyingly personal, like choosing to wear shitty armor that looks pretty because you value style over function, Wei Wuxian’s extreme intelligence is often undercut by scenes of extreme brain farts.

Whether it be an almost painful level of obliviousness or an extreme failed memory check, Wei Wuxian gains a flaw that not only makes him human and therefore relatable, but also unique in the pantheon of genius characters out there because he’s a genius in THIS SPECIFIC NICHE (trademarked).

This nuance/uniqueness/realness, thus, will allow his character to say more about the real world than mr god intelligence BBC Sherlock.

For the most obvious one, he’s a persuasive essay on why intelligence is not predicated on good memory, which maps well onto his larger character trait of being a intelligent slacker in school (of which the number one complaint is that it is immaterial to actual learning and only really tests memory).

What does BBC Sherlock say, beyond the idea that a god has no need for human rules? That IS a message, but a hypothetical one, as most people will never get to that level of comical intelligence for it to be relevant. Well, I guess assholes (who are less smart than they think) use characters like him as excuses to be dicks, so there's that, but I think that's proof of how legitimately unrealistic he is. He's the power fantasy of teen boys and maladjusted adults, like Rick Rick and Morty.

The third layer is him remembering that he has shit memory and using it to his advantage.

THIS is the part that gets to me THE MOST about his character and arguably the part where MXTX proved (to me) that she’s a better writer than BBC Sherlock writing staff, especially when it come to OP or intelligent characters.

There’s an ELEVATION that happens on this third layer. This is where your character goes from a smart character to a smart person to an ABSOLUTE GOAT. This is the hype that the BBC Sherlock crew wanted when doing a smart god character but absolutely failed to nail deadass, Jesus-style.

Cheatcodes to Writing Intelligence

For one, it’s putting her money where her mouth is. BBC Sherlock creates hyper intelligence by bending the plot to Sherlock's will, like one of those Twitter fake "oracle" accounts that make predictions and then retroactively delete the wrong ones to make them look psychic.

It's not true prediction, and neither is Sherlock solving a mystery unsolvable to the audience because the writer can cheat and handwave his logic — THE VERY THING BEING SHOWCASED — by just showing Sherlock being right all the time about random things we couldn't know ourselves.

(And in Sherlock, this is mostly downplayed because the mystery is less important than the character drama (send prayers for Johnlock), but it goes from a subversion to a Game Of Thrones subversion (derogatory) when the show starts failing at the character drama too, making his stupid caricature of intelligence insulting instead of an interesting exploration of a hypothetical god trying to grow up human, Jesus-style.)

Wei Wuxian also has this hand-wave-y aspect to his intelligence. We're told and shown he's a genius inventor through the cheat code of the world's magic system. Magic without rules is famously hard to write well because any story's conflict can be solved with "well a wizard came and saved the day through GOD-like abilities" if the author is too lazy to write a satisfying conclusion.

Wei Wuxian is the inventor of Necromancy, and while yes this is sort of explained through a scene where he's arguing against the establishment to his cultivation teacher, the logic of it is very simple. "What if we reversed energy? (simplification of what he actually said)," the reality of his genius invention of necromancy is just that it's the author saying "well Wei Wuxian did it through his GOD-LIKE intelligence."

What we really get out of this is that his COUNTERCULTURAL HERESY (Galileo-Style) is revolutionary. Not so much his logic being revolutionary when the concept is THIS simple (haha reverse evil suppressing wards to get an evil attracting ward go brrr). But the story handwaves this away with just making other characters utter trash at necromancy, cheating at making him seem like a genius in comparison (simplified for scope, there's more to this).

IF that were all there was to him, he'd only be a 2 layer AT MOST. Instead, we have this third layer, where he directly reacts to information the reader has received in witty ways. (This also makes him self reacting, which is what makes us human)

The Structure of Setting Up Intelligence

Part of what makes mysteries so satisfying is that the reader is rewarded for paying attention/engagement. If they notice a clue that becomes a part of the detective's explanation later on, it's like a puzzle falling into place, where you feel like a special big boy for noticing. And if the detective manages to solve it where you didn't despite having all these clues, YOU become the dumb shitty necromancer jobber who makes Wei Wuxian look good in comparison. Metaphorically.

Similarly, we have all the clues. Wei Wuxian is smart and resourceful. Wei Wuxian forgets a lot of things. Wei Wuxian gets told he's forgotten a lot of things. What's the next logical step? Wei Wuxian smartly uses his forgetfulness as a resource!

2. At the beginning of the book, he accidentally snubs a side character by responding "I don't even know who you are" (simplified for scope's sake). At the time, he genuinely is fumbling here, messing up his social standing because of an actual brain fart, but in a way that's hilarious and better-than-you, so we think nothing of it... until he learns from this mistake right in front of our eyes!

Because later on, he REPEATS this line to the SAME character to legitimately snub them when they were making accusations of him personally attacking them. Not only is this an infuriating snub done on purpose this time, but it's a lie—Wei Wuxian remembered this asshole after the many many dumb dramas with them.

3. But it's a useful lie because it demonstrates a truth—WEI WUXIAN DIDN'T ATTACK THEM. Wei Wuxian would have motive to attack them hypothetically (read: dumb dramas), but the reality is that he doesn't care about them enough to do so, for all intents and purposes making them "forgotten" to Wei Wuxian. Best of all, people believed him because HE'S DONE THIS EXACT THING BEFORE. The plot is repeating, but nothing feels the same. LAYERS absolutely destroying MONOTONY.

3. On top of that, it's a reaction to himself. He's demonstrating both metacognition and self-awareness, here, which is something actively studied in psychology as a phenomenon humans have that other animals might not, a la Dunning Kruger and the mirror test, respectively. What's more human than cringing at your un-self-awareness and learning from it?

And the best part is that we were on every step of this journey. It feels like such an obvious move to make now, like duh you can use your forgetfulness as a form of weaponized incompetence—guys do it all the time (derogatory). Wei Wuxian even does this in a cute way with his sister when he does Sajiao/aegyo at her to get her attention (affectionate).

4. But it truly hits different seeing him do it in such a specifically crafted story, structured like a mystery or a joke where the logic or punchline is him pretending to have bad memory, and I personally would never have thought of doing this on the spot like he did. This is some post-argument hindsight shower thought shit. Genius power fantasy done well.

Shit like this is STORYTELLING and STORY CRAFTING. The repetition of the scene to make his second snub more potent. THIS IS THE POWER OF SET UP AND PAYOFF. A unique usage of the adage of how a character's greatest strength is their greatest weakness, like someone's determination making them bull-headed and stubborn. Except in reverse, necromancy style, where a fatal flaw (his memory) becomes a great strength (plausible deniability). A simple example of how characterization is about specific traits in unique ways to SHOW us his personality better than the author just telling you he's smart ever could, like in BBC Sherlock. THE POWER OF SHOWING NOT TELLING. The interplay of the contradictions within his intelligence as a way to show that he's "real" and not a god. THE POWER OF DEPTH.

All this while he is quite literally the god of his story (Jesus-style).

That's right! Time for pointing out the idolization and mythologizing of Galileo!

Now I don't know if this is true because fact checking in Chinese fandoms is a nightmare when 1. your chinese is barely fluent and 2. most chinese socmed platforms require a chinese phone number to sign up. 3. these two facts leads to a lot of fandom telephone. But I remember someone quoting MXTX on the idea that Wei Wuxian and his love interest are supposed to be the moral paragons of this story (despite the way Wei Wuxian has been demonized *haha get it? demonic cultivation. his ghost cultivation got called demonic cultivation in the most on the nose misnomer in history*). This is probably not a true quote, but it's emblematic of how it feels to be reading this story.

For one, Wei Wuxian is quite literally the moral paragon. He's one of like 3 people actively against a genocide (other than its victims). A genocide that characters within the positions of power go along with for what boils down to personal convenience's sake (ALL EYES ON RAFAH). He's one of the few characters to truly master resentment AKA ENVY (aka WEI "No Envies" WUXIAN) in a story where basically all the bad stuff happens due to envy (funnily enough the actual evil villain of the story is probably the only opp who wasn't actually jealous of him, despite arguably being the one who not only was the most envious of the whole series and the one whose envy would make sense, being narrative foils with Wei Wuxian and all). You'd never see Wei Wuxian wishing evil upon someone out of jealousy (he quite literally sacrifices himself to save his "unrequited" "crush's" "crush").

For two, this world is set in ancient times, where killing was still wrong but also simultaneously seen as honorable, like with Odysseus killing his wife's suitors in revenge being seen as honorable, DESPITE him hating it when the cyclops killed HIS crew in revenge for sheep lol. Wei Wuxian has slaughtered many people, but often in circumstances that soften the immorality of it, like the insanity defense or self defense or "this is war in ancient china" or stopping a genocide. And he acknowledges that these wrongs were still wrongs and does good in the world/changes as a person to atone.

For three, he's god damned OP. In a magic system where enlightenment is directly tied to magical ability, Wei Wuxian is one of the most powerful magic users in their world. Top of his generation, beat out only by his love interest, kinda. Morality is tied to cultivation, which is why it's called the "righteous" sects.

But it gets better, because those sects are not actually righteous. The vast majority are hypocrites or worse, and their work mostly involves killing things for "mundane" people, who treat them like nobility for doing so (depth in contradiction). The implication is sorta kinda that Wei Wuxian so powerful BECAUSE Wei Wuxian is one of the few to actually be righteous and not just self-righteous.

Thus, him being the inventor, the only non-noble, and only user of ghost path cultivation, the reverse of cultivation, thus serves to highlight his moral integrity in comparison, even when being called a heretic (depth in contradiction).

(And while people argue that his cultivation ITSELF is evil, causing the souls of the dead to be unable to reincarnate, I'd argue that that reading is a misread that gets distracted by thinking "demonic" and "ghost" cultivation are the same thanks to his title as the grandmaster of DEMONIC cultivation, when they're not the same (again, misnomer). In reality, he's the only successful user of the ghost path, which is about EMPATHY (Wei Wuxian's most signature magical ability after his flute playing skills) for the dead, playing into their resentment to help them pass, like he said in the very scene where he defies the establishment of his school and initially defines his path. The shitty jobber demonic cultivators are going evil and shit because it's actually pretty hard to put yourself in people's worst desires and hurts (wwx still went insane lol), much less if you yourself are controlled by resentment like Xue Yang or Su She was, who both technically "empathize" in that they're about as resentful as ACTUAL ghosts LMAO.)

Anyways, all this to say that the entire story is structured around hiding the fact that Wei Wuxian is the bestest guy ever embroiled in a huge mystery, who gets slandered and killed by his opps for standing up against powerful oppressors before coming back to life and clearing his name... (jesus-style). A lot of the book is him morality mogging or witty mogging randos, many of whom are cartoonishly evil or rude. Dare I say it? Yes. Like BBC Sherlock.

BOOM. Gallileo becomes the myth.

BBC SHERLOCK 🤝WEI WUXIAN

Whew, I finally brought it back around to my original point.

THIS is why Wei Wuxian is everything BBC Sherlock writers wished they were doing. Because in spite of all their similarities (seriously? both of them have a death period where their lover (rip johnlock) is mourning them before coming back to life??) BBC Sherlock's nowadays gets mercilessly mocked for being a Mary Sue and his fanfic community is dead, meanwhile Wei Wuxian is so beloved by his readers that MDZS fanfic literally has had such a huge impact it got Ao3 banned in China and then added a maximum to tags on Ao3 PERIOD. King shit.

And despite what this post seems, it's not a disparagement of BBC Sherlock as a character. I loved him, I loved the idea of exploring this demigod. Superwho-manly intelligent, but in ways that make it hard for him to function in the human world (until John). His struggles with ostracism, "weird" interests, sensory issues, etc. are alarmingly human and a great allegory for neurodivergence (while not being one of those cringe "autism savant" tropes bc he isn't literally autistic). Sherlock fic popped off for a reason, it's just that the writing of the show didn't do the legwork work that MDZS did to support his character as a god, instead it mostly did shit like "oh it's okay I'm a pretentious asshole because I'm a genius and always magically right, even when I'm wrong, because I'm god." Like if Rick Rick and Morty wasn't self-aware... T_T

That's why this post is me compiling the ways Wei Wuxian's character was crafted to be intelligent. It's not bad to have power fantasy OP characters, but it's hard to do them as well as him. It's not just the clever deceptions or witty usage of words with multiple meanings or the self-awareness and learning, or giving the intelligence flaws to make it more believable. Sherlock had all these and more.

It's the combination of it all, usually in the order of "telling" they're intelligent through abstract things like other characters saying he's really good at detectivework and them magically solving cases, then complicating that intelligence through some kind of flaw, then "showing" him overcoming that complication using concrete examples of intelligence, such as self-awareness, witty double entendres/callbacks, contradictorily using weakness or appearing weak for specific gains, and reframing the given 'clues' in a new light with the help of red herrings. This is like a steelman persuasive essay format, but with proving that someone is smart. Thesis, counter, rebuttal with quantitative evidence. There's like a mini arc build up to a mini climax/climactic moment that makes it satisfying.

The set up and payoffs are key here, as a lot of these just require a bit of legwork before the payoff, such as Wei Wuxian repeating the same line he used as a mistake into one he does on purpose or find a scenario where forgetfulness is actually helpful in deceptions or whatever the chosen scenario is. Much easier to begin with the end in mind in and then retroactively write the beginning to match, instead of creating an impossible mystery, after all. 😭😭 Best part is that I didn’t even compare the mystery writing of MDZS to Sherlock’s ass mysteries, I did it purely on the strength of how its intelligence is utilized for character drama, just as Moffat and his defenders would have wanted.

[hockeyisforthegays]

If you are able to answer this without spoilers I was wondering siq, since you started the fic before reading the manga and certainly before the manga finished, did your plans for heroine change at all after reading the manga? I sometimes wonder if how foggy shibuya into post shibuya is for yuuji was your way of being able to adapt to cannon?

i would say my plans were tweaked but not really "changed" (anything i would call a "change" has only come about through like. the writing process and seeing what actions characters take??). ive incorporated more lore from the manga, and ive also had to figure out how to like, apply my fix-it wand to the culling games and not just star plasma vessel ykwim

giving yuuji amnesia i think was a move that added some flexibility, but i also had the idea that i am now committed to at the time i introduced it - i just wasn't ready to say that This Is For Sure What I'm Going With. the amnesia was a way for me to stall and build it up as i decided. and i think it's for the better, 'cause now having that idea be a ~mystery~ element has been way more fun than just expositing it from the beginning. (pro tip for writing mysteries i learned through this: your red herrings are better red herrings if you treat each one as a legitimate 'ripcord plot'. i was worried that the idea i had in my heart of hearts would be... Too Much, if i couldn't set it up well enough. so i wrote in backup plots that i would be willing to commit to if i changed my mind, meaning each one had to also be satisfyingly foreshadowed and interesting in concept - which readers absolutely picked up on. so much fun reactions and theorizing to those!!)

anyway, since heroine!yuuji's canon has always been divergent post shibuya, not too much had to change. again i just tweaked it/filled it in as i came to understand, like, what kenjaku's end goal was, what worldbuilding was at work, etc. and to clarify, yuuji's "foggy period" is not, in fact, shibuya-into-post-shibuya - yuuji remembers shibuya and a period of his timeline after that! it just happened differently: as a result of the moment of divergence at shibuya yuuji & choso were alone and back-and-forth pursuing-evading kenjaku, who now needed yuuji to execute his plans.

for a rough timeline of, like, my knowledge - i started writing heroine while shibuya arc was in the middle of airing, powered mostly by vague spoilers and speculation. finished chapter 1 and most of chapter 2, i think, before posting chapter 1 the day after the last ep of season 2 aired. finished writing chapter 2 and then 3, and then it was between chapter 3 and 4 that i think i got caught up to the manga. chapter four was definitely when i started to throw in little details i was getting from the manga, i know that

[shallowseeker]

My friend says John wasn't really there in that season??

Yay, Lebanon! Yes, I've seen this theory floating around, and I think it's a good one. I think the theory came about because the reuniting of the four doesn't include a satisfyingly obvious confrontation. Overall, though, I think it has the subtle bones of how the dynamics would work between them, and they're fascinating.

As for it being "real" of not, my personal view is that him waking up in his car lends to it being real. I'm 100% behind the other interpretation as well, though!

If you'll humor me, I wanna ramble about the dynamics. I have dreams of writing fic about this someday, so puzzling it out is something of a pastime for me:

///

First, I read somewhere (I think it was @queermania) that 14x13 Lebanon as an episode is too ambitious. The idea of Lebanon-the-town being its own character deserved a separate episode, and the idea of John returning needs its own episode. And I agree completely. Really, the episode doesn't have time for satisfying confrontations.

///

==It's not revenge porn, and that's a little disappointing==

Overall, think the fandom balks at John's return because at worst, what we want is reciprocal revenge to be inflicted on John. At best, we crave a verbal sparring where he's taken to task for his past crimes.

Lebanon is neither of these.

So, it's easier to wrap up John's "best behavior" as ghostly wish fulfillment, and that certainly works for me. It's satisfying. (I also subscribe to the theory that Dean wishes for John in order for Mary to be happy.)

But for me, the long and the short of it is that I think it's more interesting and very telling that John's on his best behavior here. That implies...interesting things.

Mary's presence grounds him, and even then, he's still subtly passive-aggressive in ways I adore. I think their interactions have built-in conflict, and I think it works as is! I even think him catapulting back into his own time has a dark implication (below).

///

==Mary & John==

Mary does not batter John; she greets him with relieved kisses. I think that makes sense for Mary given what we know about her. Her anger manifests as cold and controlled. She does not tend to fly off the handle.

The past haunts her. Mary last saw John on a regular night at home. They had dinner together, kissed their kids goodnight, and went to bed with baby monitors and all. She misses that guy. She loves the man he was, his best self. Not his worst self. She read his journal, but that's something she knows in her head, not her heart. It'll take a while to square that man with this man. And even then, she might just try to love him through it. I think Mary is the kind of flawed, frustrating woman who might make excuses for John.

She rationalizes. She views herself as having made a lot of mistakes with the boys, too. John had "drunken rages and neglect," sure, but in season 12, she almost got Cas killed, lied to the boys, and then she became Mary!natural-born killer and almost shot them. She's going to rationalize.

Team hunting dynamics. I suspect that so long as they're not in a Particularly Dangerous Mission Mode, the dynamic is going to be Mary bossing John, not the other way around. She might square the past by expecting him to do penance to the boys as a family protector and attack dog. I actually think Mary might mistreat him! And she'd definitely put the things on him that she can't take. My thesis is that I think she'd wind up treating John a lot like how she treated Cas, mid-season 12 in First Blood. If they hunt together, they'd have to get to know each other as hunters, which would lead to a frustrating tug-of-war. (John cries a lot, even in the original run, and Mary goes stone-cold. She's gonna hurt his feelings and wound his pride. It's going to be tumultuous.) I think Mary would become the control freak, because she's the one who is now tied to the current life, the one with a hunting network, and the one with superior knowledge, etc.

EXAMPLES from cut scripts & aired transcripts

Mary & Cas in 12x01 Keep Calm and Carry On & 12x02 Mamma Mia:

Here, I think Mary instinctually moves to put familial duty & responsibility on Cas. I think she intuitively recognizes him as Dean's spouse, and so, his strength & support are available by-proxy to her.

I know this is mostly indirect evidence, but I suspect this is exactly how she'd treat John within the world of hunting.

///

Mary & Cas in 12x09 First Blood:

MARY: You left them. CASTIEL: No, I… Dean told me to go. The woman-- MARY: The one you lost? CASTIEL: I didn’t. I… I thought that she-- MARY: Stop making excuses. [Cas looks down, and Mary sighs heavily]

///

Back to John

I can imagine Mary making digs about him not knowing critical hunting fundamentals, and he'd make digs that he wasn't raised with as many resources as she was (a petulant shot at her lies). I find it more likely that he would sull up and eventually explode at her. Mary lied to him. That still hurts.

The critical blowup would happen when John finds out that Mary was even hunting while the boys were small. "I thought you were cheating. This is worse!" Mary didn't even give him a chance to fight for himself or to access the tools and knowledge to help defend his family. (She didn't trust him!) He never had the chance to even try! Etc etc. Messy!

I think Mary would get cold and judgy. Like Dean, she could even fall into idealizing/romanticizing her other hunting partnerships to make digs at John's shortcomings ("AU Bobby/AU hunters/the boys/Cas don't make mistakes like this. They've never let me down," etc etc.) Regardless of John's past crimes, I think she'd fall into expecting too much of John...I'm 99% certain of that. It's so juicy and crunchy!

AU Bobby? Sadly, I think with John back, she would drop AU Bobby like a hot potato. Sorry. Sucks for AU Bobby, but it seems like they were already broken up/going their separate ways in 14x11 Damaged Goods. (Lebanon is 14x13.) The hardened AU Bobby, unlike OG Bobby, would probably like John, which would be a horrible feeling for the boys.

///

==Sam & John==

Sam skirts around John's past misbehavior. It's uncomfortable. Two seconds later, John tries to get a rise out of Sam.

Sam puts it aside and chooses to love John anyway, to try to start fresh where they're at. I think that makes sense for Sam, because Sam likes to cut away and compartmentalize the parts of life he doesn't like. Sam dissociates. Sam doesn't want to talk about it. But I also think that, over time, John would keep digging until he found a pressure point to try and get Sam to explode at him. John is prodding at Sam to talk in a similar way that Sam prods Dean to talk.

By the way, I think John's apology is right in line with the tearful crybaby John we saw on our screens in seasons 1 and 2, too. John was volatile, but he wasn't always unemotional. (Remember when Pastor Jim died?) That's why he always felt so unpredictable as a caretaker.

SAM: Yeah, Dean and I tried to make that once. JOHN: I, um… I remember. I screwed up with you a lot, didn’t I? SAM: No, that’s okay. JOHN: No, it’s not. Sammy, tell me the truth. SAM: I don’t want to talk about that. JOHN: You didn’t have a problem talking about it before you left. SAM: Dad… for me? That fight… that was a lifetime ago. I don’t even remember what I said, and – I mean… yeah. You know what? You did some messed-up things. But I don’t… I mean, when I think about you… [voice breaks] and I think about you a lot… I don’t think about our – our fights. I think about you… I think about you on the floor of that hospital. And I think about how I never got to say goodbye. [JOHN puts his hand on SAM’s shoulder.] JOHN: Sam. Son. I am so sorry. SAM: I’m sorry, too. But you did your best, dad. You – you fought for us, and you loved us, and… that’s enough. [JOHN tearfully smiles at SAM and pats his shoulder.]

Team hunting dynamics. I think John would at times reach to undermine Sam's leadership, especially with the AU hunters. I think this could manifest in him being contrary to Sam's ideas. It'd be kinda like how AU Bobby balked at Sam's leadership skills, but to the power of ten.

If Mary's present, all bets are off. John submits to her. But if Mary's not there, he probably jumps right into questioning and nitpicking Sam's decisions. When that doesn't work, he approaches Sam through cold, hard logic, and that could potentially get Sam on his side. Sam is very swayed by moral relativism, and John would appeal to that. "We've all done things we regret." And once John digs up enough of Sam's mistakes, I think Sam would be swayed to give John another chance in order to avoid being faced with the dreaded hypocrisy.

Tension points: I don't think John would like Rowena at all, and that would be a point of tension between them. He'd make so many snide digs about her, mark my words. Rowena would hate John, too though, and that's where 90% percent of the fun would actually come from.

///

==Dean & John==

Dean is wary around John. There's no better word for it. John's presence makes Dean's home at the bunker feel insecure, like the ground is crumbling beneath his feet. The bunker is Dean's house, and he's already feeling shaky by having AU hunters there. At the point of Lebanon, Dean's got Michael locked in his head, pounding away at a locked door.

Lebanon happens right after Prophet & Loss, where Sam resorted to battering Dean with his fists to try to get him to care about himself. Dean's feeling extra, extra vulnerable. He'd be like a cornered animal with John in the house.

///

In Lebanon, Dean is upfront with John about their living situation:

JOHN: Then it’s all true. God, the devil, you boys smack in the middle. Now you live in a secret bunker with an angel and Lucifer’s kid. DEAN: Yeah.

Later, John is passive-aggressive with Dean, too, but it takes on a completely different dimension than it does with Sam. Sam and Dean both live with, "an angel and Lucifer's kid," but Dean is the one John "suspects something of," and so, like a gossiping church lady, he pokes. About relationships.

He's trying to figure out if Dean is...attached.

DEAN: Dad, we pulled you here. JOHN: No, son. My fight. It was supposed to end with me, with Yellow Eyes. But now you – you are a grown man, and I am incredibly proud of you. I guess that I had hoped, eventually, you would… get yourself a normal life, a peaceful life, a family. [DEAN nods. He smiles.] DEAN: I have a family. [JOHN smiles.] JOHN: Yeah. Alright. What’s next? DEAN: We eat. [DEAN leaves for the kitchen.]

Do I think John accepted that Dean has a family? Yeah, I actually kinda do. I think this conversation is just John confirming suspicions he already had. And Dean is patient with him about it. I suspect Dean's patience would turn into holding him at arm's length, and John would be spun by that.

I don't think John would act a homophobe. John liked Lee. Competence wins out for John. I favor John not being cartoonishly homophobic on a personal level so much as a societal one. I can see him rationalizing the thing with the nuns as him being scared of Dean enduring a difficult lifestyle re: the time periods they respectively grew up within.

But now? With all this acceptance? There's less reason to do that.

Household dynamics: I think that, right out of the gate, John does some boundary crossing. It's implied in the finale script that when John was with Mary, John was the cook. (He cooks pot roast!)

Seeing this human, empathetic side of John would be devastating. John tends to take over the kitchen, and Dean feels pushed out. John is funny, just as Mary said he was. It'd be like entering an upside-down world. (And if John is like this now, why weren't Sam and Dean enough for him to even try?)

///

John & Cas & Jack

Because John is doing public "penance," and because Dean is sort-of icing him out, John would "work on" those closest to Dean: Cas and Jack. I can see John trying to suck up to Cas and Jack with a surprising degree of success!

Cas

With Cas, it'd be a rocky start. Maybe it starts when John outright demands that he wants Cas's truck when he sees it in the garage. Then, he's aggressive towards Cas and suspicious of his angelicity.

But ultimately, Cas's competence and gray-rock method of communicating win John over, and when he wins John over, he wins him over in a big way. John even seems to trust Cas more than Sam and Dean, and that gets ugly.

Oddly enough, I think he'd take to Cas way more readily than he'd take to someone like Rowena. Cas is a soldier. When John learns that, he tries to awkwardly soldier-bond with Cas, using marine lingo and making crass male-bonding jokes at Dean's expense. (Super weird, super disrespectful, and super awkward!)

There's also some stuff in Cas that reminds John of Henry Winchester, which makes it even more complicated. Like Mary, he senses Cas's spousal dynamic with Dean, and because of Cas's angelic strength, he also expects too much of Cas. (Poor Cas!)

I think the result would be Dean and Cas having big emotions about it, because Dean needs to get out of the bunker a lot, and he'd cling extra hard to Cas as a reflex to John's pushy "trying to steal my best friend," stuff.

Jack

I think John'd spoil Jack, kind of like he did with Adam. Jack represents a clean slate, a new chance to bond with a son. John wouldn't spoil him in a lovey-dovey way, either.

I think he'd key into what Jack is missing, and provide the, "You did good today/that was nice work/I'm proud of you," stuff. Jack values blunt honesty and tough love, so long as it's paired with a sliver of respect. John could worm his way in so fast if he really wanted to!

Dean would probably hit his limit with John trying to get close to Jack and step in. But Jack would painfully point out that when Cas came back, Dean changed, too.

"You said it yourself Dean. 'We're gonna make mistakes. Nobody's perfect. Right?' You said, 'We can get better. Every day, we can get better.' Why can't he?"

(This, of course, comes back to bite Jack in the ass.)

Due to where Lebanon occurs in the timeline, Jack is human-ish, but when John discovers the AU Michael situation and what Jack's Nephilim capabilities were, John gets pragmatic at Jack's expense. Perhaps, they decide to rescue Adam together, to secure the OG Michael to fight the AU Michael? I can come up with all sorts of terrible things John and Jack might get up to together "for the greater good."

///

On the whole, John is intel-gathering. Under the guise of bonding, he's collecting a list of Dean's, Sam's, Cas's, and Mary's worst mistakes to use as ammo and rationalization...if he ever needs it.

And the thing is, John's bonding is simultaneously genuine. He's defensive and damaged, but some of his better intentions are so ugly because of that.

///

==John goes back to the past, though. What are those pesky implications you mentioned?==

Well, like I said in the beginning, in the actual episode, John wakes up in the past. That softly implies it was "real." He tells a worried past!Dean that he, "had a good dream."

But the implication is that John is now even more certain that his revenge is the righteous path. Look how safe and strong Sam & Dean turned out! He's convinced now: even though he hurt them, his methods were the right ones.

///

That got long was WAY more than you asked for, but I'm not sorry. Thank you for the ask! It allowed me to brainstorm about some things I've been kicking around in my head for a good while.

(Text Attributions// Supernatural scripts here via @spnscripthunt. Transcripts are located here via SPNWiki. Visit their Tumblr to donate.)

[demani-dusk]

I really loved Babel or the Necessity of Violence a lot and I want to get some more of my own thoughts out.

What I liked: I mostly read/listen to/watch scifi/fantasy stories, and while I love scifi/fantasy for allegory and metaphor that can focus in on and provide sharp commentary on the real or how the hyper real can heighten the emotions of a real thing, it turns out it was very grounding to read a story about empire set in the actual British empire about people who would have been its actual victims. And even then, I really do love the fantastical elements of the setting and the way silverwork and translation convey the ideas and themes so well.

I like the way the premise of the story and the positions of the characters so clearly and directly conveys the exploitation and extraction of imperialism, the way educating and shaping Robin into an Oxford student is so deeply and inherently abusive. I love that actual real world translation work from the time fits so neatly into the story. Commentary on everything being translated into English but rarely would something be translated from one colonized language to another. Commentary on the way imperialists treat texts written by cultures they don't respect. It all works together so satisfyingly well.

Translation as a kind of magic, as a central theme is also just such a great tool for a writer to do fun and good writing stuff with. I love the way etymology and translations give weight and new layers of meaning to the text the way other literary devices might. It's a book where the thinness of any single language is part of the conceit of how the magic works and Kuang is like, supplementing the inherent thinness of language by offering the reader translations as supplement, trying to get *us* closer to the "realm of true meaning" as it were.

I love very much Robin's internal turmoil throughout the first 2/3 or so of the story. His love and hatred of Oxford. His inability to choose between his father and his brother. His fear, his wonder, his resentment. The way he feels extremely at home and never at home at Oxford. It's all done extremely well imo.

Things I'm less sure about:

I really wish Victoire were more fleshed out earlier in the book. I think what we get makes sense with the story being Robin's perspective, because Victoire and Letty are pretty much always together and Letty has a way of sucking all the air out of a room. But I still wish more room had been made for us to learn more about Victoire before the last act.

I would like to see a little more about sexism and Letty's relationship to feminism. We know she is very aware of the sexism she faces at Oxford but what does she think of suffragists? I can imagine white feminist Letty supporting women's suffrage and still not taking racism or imperialism seriously, and I can also imagine ivory tower rich girl Letty being entirely skeptical of addressing any social issue in a way that isn't about personally fighting to improve your own position, including sexism. I also think Victoire's experience of misognoir is relatively underexplored and that's too bad.

There's also this thing in the writing I'm not sure how I feel about. That is, there are a couple of intractable arguments characters have repeatedly on and off the page. I found myself not loving this as a reader, but I'm somewhat convinced that the way I didn't like it was that it effectively conveyed the boredom and discomfort of having the same argument over and over without making progress, and isn't that the book doing its job well? I still sort of feel like it would help to get these arguments in ways that highlight different character's perspectives each time or something. Or like, ifl having the same best reappear in a story you want the circumstances to change such that the thing happening feels importantly recontextualized, and I didn't always feel like this was happenijg. idk I'm not sure my instincts about this are good.

Anyway, it's a good book, I liked it a lot.

[365fanficchallenge]

Pairing: (EXO) Sehun x OC

Genre: 1950's AU, collegeAU!, romance, glow up vibes, used to be invisible and now he's not, tres confused Sehun

Summary: It's Summer and Sehun's hormones have hit him just in time to be the new flavour of the season at Baltimore college. Its a shame he's only got eyes for OC.

Note: Does this count as a story? Drabble? Idk, I'm trying to write but I get bored and only write the fun parts of the ideas I have 🫠 Are they really jarring to read because there's basically no context? Will I keep writing anyway? Yeh, probably.

__________________________________________

It's 1954 and the war is over. The TV box is in colour and an Englishman has conquered the tallest mountain in the world. Sehun's parents have tentatively agreed to take out the new 'credit card' and kids around high-school have been passing around the first ever Playboy magazine. Sehun has filled out from his small frame to a tall lean-meat stature - and he thinks he's in love.

She's sitting one row in front of him and summer break starts today.

He hasn't said a stitch of a word to her.

Paper ticks off his hand, landing on his desk. Mr Miller is droning on about how its important to keep studying over the summer and when he has his back turned to the class, Sehun opens the note.   

'So you gunna talk to her before school's out?'

Baekhyun's scrawl is spidery across the page. Sehun subtly turns his body, forehead leaning against his hand and mouths in exasperation that he doesn't know. His eyes drop back to her in front of him, helpless. The sun reflects off the curve of her cheek and her pencil scratches satisfyingly on her paper - she had given her pompom biro to the exchange student next to her to use.

A great gust of air whooshes past his lips and he feels like his heart has been hit by a truck in the best way possible. Clearly, his face says this too because he sees his so called friend doing something nefarious from the corner of his eye. Baekhyun's miming a rather violent whipping motion at Sehun that gets more and more exaggerated, really, the guy is putting his whole back into it, until a stick of chalk absolutely decimates him straight between the eyes like a homing missile. Sehun turns to the source of it, to see the tip of Mr Miller's nose red, and the rest of the class guffawing at poor Baekhyun who is silently but theatrically communicating the loss of one of his eyes on the floor.

Even she turns to see what the fuss is about and barely smothers her smile behind a dainty hand. Her smile is contagious. Sehun finds himself giving a low and short chuckle, staring straight at her. He doesn't expect her eyes to flicker to him before she lets out a real giggle, as if he was the reason she couldn't control herself. Didn't his sister's stupid magazines say something about when you're laughing in a group, you look at the person you're most attracted to? The mirth in Sehun's eyes suddenly dissolves and his expression goes blank, studying her. She goes serious too.

Oh boy. He was done for.

_________________

AN: Constructive criticism always welcome!

[reggieblk]

i am on my knees asking you to marry me, the ending was SO GOOD and i stand by the fact that nothing can ever top this fic ever again.

the relationship between the golden trio?? absolutely amazing i wish more people would write them like you do

dracos feelings? leaving me absolutely SOBBING (ever have plans for a drarry fic bcs ill sell my first born for you to write one)

atom and harry’s death?? AHHHHHH it fit so well, it wrapped everything up so satisfyingly

maybe one day ill find time to draw some fanart cause you’ve inspired me in so many ways <33

equals in life (partners in death) spoilers!

aaaaaaaah thank you thank you thank you!! I'm so so happy you liked it! And I'm glad ppl are finding the ending satisfying, it was never going to end differently than how it did, the ending was planned from the very beginning

As for a Drarry fic hmm, I have been a drarry shipper for eight years, has been my comfort ship forever, however I never started writing for them bc there are just so many brilliant fics (it being a very popular ship), you have every trope and dynamic under the sun accounted for! I never thought I would have something original to bring to the pairing, although never say never, if an idea strikes me I'll definetly write it!

If you draw anything for this fic I will be, in turn, begging for your hand in marriage !!! It's insane for me to think anyone could ever draw something from this fic so do so at the risk of me becoming insane lmao

thank you so so much for reading and loving this fic xx

[bettsfic]

i think about this a lot.

breaking bad has a world record for being one of the most acclaimed shows on television. it won more awards than any other television show in history.

writing-wise, breaking bad is a hot mess. it's ambitious in a way that few things are: a big idea executed not flawlessly, but satisfyingly. it has that first run energy that many debut creators possess. not really knowing what they're doing but going for it anyway. from an audience perspective, that kind of energy is priceless and rare. most people would prefer an ambitious idea executed imperfectly than a modest idea executed perfectly. that's the difference, i think, between brba and bcs.

the sophomore project of anyone who had insane debut energy is always going to be less popular, even if it's technically better. better call saul is better than breaking bad in terms of writing; it's more controlled and restrained. seasons 1 through 4 of breaking bad involved a lot of new and raw talent. season 5 was a beautiful victory lap. better call saul is the creators going, "okay, now we know what we're doing and we're going to do it better than before. and we have the money and time to make it happen."

in a way, better call saul was too good. i can imagine the not-winning-awards thing has a lot to do with its consistency. no one season is better than any other, because it's all one long story. it's a tv show without discrete episodic or season arcs. it breaks its own form in a way i don't think a lot of people notice because it still fits neatly in its timeslot. but ultimately, structurally, bcs is one very long movie.

people don't always love perfect things. better call saul is as near a perfect television show as it's possible to get. there are plenty of criticisms to be made, but all that i've seen have to do with personal taste and preferences. nothing is above criticism. but in terms of executing its intentions, i can't find fault with it. i only know that people like wild things made by talented creators, and breaking bad did that.

there's more to say i think about the "work" of a prequel and how they're often derided, but that's probably a topic for a different post. the point is, bcs is one of the most underrated highly rated shows i've ever watched, which i didn't really think was possible.

my condolences to the BCS community because this is actually and genuinely insane

[padfootastic]

Even without an official Sirius and Harry Saturday, I’ve been thinking about Sirius and Harry (thank you to Miss Imp though, this is a habit I don’t want to break!) and a hc I have of their sorting. I think Sirius, for all that he would’ve hated it, could’ve gone to Slytherin, same as Harry. But I think Harry and Sirius both got on the Hogwarts Express met a Slytherin hopeful they didn’t particularly care for, but more importantly, met an adorable pure blood, whose families had been in Gryffindor, that they immediately imprinted on.

I think Sirius’ dislike was Slytherin was more subconcious, more a desire to be different from his family. I do think, while he was skeptical of his family’s values, he only openly rebelled after his sorting. Otoh, Harry was much more straightforward. Malfoy reminds him of Dudley, insults the first person who has been nice to him in years, and he gets an arguably black and white view of the Hogwarts houses from Hagrid. But I do think his strongest desire was also to be away from any Dursley like presence for the first time in his life.

So I like to think that Sirius and Harry both said ‘Not Slytherin’ to the sorting hat, and the hat, recognizing that any eleven year old brat who decides that arguing with a centuries old hat is a good idea, clearly belongs in Gryffindor.

While neither of them outright said, put me in Gryffindor, I like to think that’s definitely what they were hoping for. Ron’s nervous smile and James’ reassuring grin was probably the last thing Harry and Sirius saw as the hat was dropped over their head.

Sorry this got a bit long, and I know that Ron and James are completely different personality wise, but I think they represent the same thing to Sirius and Harry - family and home

oh this is wonderful anon! even if miss imp isn’t able to host it, she definitely won’t be mad it’s being continued in her honor lol also i know @jmagnabo92 is also still contributing so ur not alone there! (i promise if i was actually writing, i’d do the same so fingers crossed for next week)

and i love that headcanon so much. interestingly, it’s one i share too ;) i think i mentioned in one of my fics (maybe the ootp one? not sure) that sirius had also rejected slytherin and it was another point of similarity b/w him and harry, and harry actually felt comforted by the fact. re the james & ron parallels: yeah, if u really look at the details, i don’t see it as the same thing but the symbolism? definitely equivalent. safety, home, belonging. both boys offered up their love and families, both of them latched on possessive oh and both introduced a whole new world to their respective best friends.

it’s funny u mention the ‘not slytherin’ thing because i wrote a oneshot way back in 2017 (?) about this exact scenario. sirius walking up defiantly, knowing he doesn’t want to be the same as his family after everything he’s seen, the hat beginning to automatically Sort him into slytherin and being shut down by sirius who tells him to be fair and impartial.

honestly, i love the existing parallels (and potential for more!) that we have between harry and sirius. it just rounds out their whole relationship even more satisfyingly. i also really like the idea of them learning from each other—seeing similar behaviours/circumstances in someone else else them process it for themselves. eg: harry coming to terms with the fact that he was abused when he finds out about sirius’ upbringing ykno? i also think it’s interesting how both of them have absolutely loyalty as a core personality trait. harry defended ron the way he did within minutes of meeting him and do we rly need to say anything about sirius?

[waka-chan-out]

Happy 300 babe! 🎉🎉🎉 Well deserved! 😌💖

For your event, can I request #15 with iwaizumi? Domestic iwa who has a breeding kink with innocent reader who unconsciously seduces him? Thank you 😘

300 Follower Event

Iwaizumi Hajime

Prompt 15: “You’re riding a fine line right now.”

this fic was part of my 300 follower event. check out the rest of the submissions here.

post-timeskip, obviously.

word count: 1.8k

content warnings: established relationship, iwa’s pov at the beginning, oblivious reader, brief oral (f. receiving), breeding kink (no pregnancy mention), fingering (which i think technically counts as cum play in this scenario so brace yourself)

thank you so much !!

THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING IWAIZUMI. i discovered many new things about myself writing this. so ............. good choice. thank you.

Iwaizumi was going to die.

He knew you weren’t trying to rile him up. You were too good for that. But there you were in his kitchen, braless and pants-less and sucking batter off of your fingers. He had been half hard all day, desperately waiting for your hand to slip down his sweatpants so he wouldn’t feel so bad about throwing you onto the bed and having his way with you, but you didn’t even seem to realize that he wanted you. You just went about your day, completely unaware that you were begging him to fuck you.

He tried to keep his gaze fixed forward at the television, but he wouldn’t have been able to tell you what show was on if you had asked. He heard the oven door shut and you plopped down onto the couch next to him.

“Brownies will be done in . . .” You grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch. His mouth went dry. “15 minutes. Whatcha watching?” He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Um. A movie. I just put something on.”

“You seemed pretty focused on it. Is it good?”

He didn’t have any idea how to respond.

“It’s fine. How long will the brownies take?”

“I said about 15 minutes. Are you okay? You seem distracted.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

You reached up and ran a hand over the hair at the nape of his neck. He shivered.

“Are you sure?”

He pulled you close and planted a kiss on your forehead, trying so hard not to stare down at your chest.

“I’m fine.”

Iwaizumi was not fine. He was going to ruin his sweats if he wasn’t careful. You seemed satisfied with his answer and threw your legs up into his lap. He closed his eyes as you settled against him, not seeming to notice the growing bulge in his pants. It almost felt like you were riling him up on purpose, but he could tell that wasn’t the case with that innocent little expression on your face.

He nearly melted when you grabbed him by the jaw and made him look at you.

“Hajime. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just—” He sighed. “You’re riding a fine line right now.” You frowned.

“What does that mean?”

He groaned and laid back against the couch, covering his face with his hands.

“You’re driving me crazy.”

“What the hell did I do to you?”

He flinched at your tone.

“Nothing, no. I’m not mad. I just—” He grabbed your hips and pulled you forward, helping you onto his lap. “If I’m not inside you in the next five minutes I think my dick is going to fall off.”

You let out a surprised laugh and leaned against his shoulder.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious! I’ve been losing my mind all day. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, please, I’ve been doing chores all day! What did I do?”

He ran his hands up your sides. He let his hands slide over your chest, watching as his fingers traced over raised skin and you sucked in a breath.

“You’re just . . . you. I don’t know how to explain it.” He leaned toward you and pressed his face against the side of yours, breathing in deeply. “I just think I’m going to need a doctor or something if I can’t fuck you.”

You smiled and planted a kiss on his forehead, his closed eyes, his cheek, and finally on the patch of skin

“Then fuck me,” you whispered.

Iwaizumi groaned and pushed up off the couch, taking you with him, legs still wrapped around his waist. You laughed as he walked you to the bedroom and threw you onto the bed.

He needed to calm down. Just looking at you made him feel like he was going to fall apart. He yanked your underwear down your legs and tossed them to the side. You laughed at how needy he was, but Iwaizumi didn’t care. He wrapped his arms around your thighs and pressed his mouth between your legs.

You jumped in surprise as his tongue circled and his lips sucked. He was so aggressive, determined to make you want him as fast as possible so he could finally fuck you.

Your hand reached down and grasped at his hair as you made a breathy noise. He could taste how aroused you were as he flattened his tongue against you and buried his face against you.

“Fuck, Hajime,” you sighed. The sound of his name made him groan and he sat up.

“Holy shit,” he said. He leaned forward and caged your head with his elbows. “I need to be inside you.”

Any response died in your throat as he thrust forward, burying himself completely. He let out a sharp gasp against your cheek and felt you run your hands up his sides, manually guiding his hips You felt his sharp gasp against your cheek and brought your hands up to run over his hips, guiding him as he established a steady rhythm.

Jesus, Iwaizumi felt like a teenager again. The frustration of the day was building between his legs, too fast for him to think clearly as he thrust into you. The small moans that left your lips sent shivers down his spine. He felt stupid, mind completely blank as he drove his hips faster into you. He lost all control over his body, which made it even easier for those dirty words to leave his lips.

“Fuck, I wish I could come inside you.”

Shit. That wasn’t supposed to happen. That was something he kept to himself, that he imagined as he fucked into his hand when you weren’t home. He didn’t plan to say it out loud at all, let alone now.

“Then do it.”

He froze. Your words were breathless but clear. He still swore he must have misheard you.

“What?” he asked. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he swore he saw stars. “What about—”

“I don’t care,” you breathed, burying your hands in his hair and pulling him back down to you. You kissed over his face as he stared at you in shock. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your face against his ear.

“Come inside me, Hajime.”

Oh, fuck.

He held you tightly in his arms as his hips seemed to propel forward on their own. He felt almost lightheaded, chasing that gratifying moment that he could really make you his. Distantly he could hear himself making embarrassingly desperate noises, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. All that mattered was the end, the end, the end.

Fuck.

He let out what was probably the loudest moan of his life, hips stuttering before his body completely locked. He felt you shudder at the feeling and you wrapped your legs even tighter around his waist, pulling him flush against you so you could feel every pulse of his cock. He watched your face screw up, savoring the feeling before you tipped your head back against the bed. You looked like you had forgotten how to breathe, long, shallow breaths shaking your lungs on their way out.

He stayed put until his brain felt like it had returned to his skull, then sat up off of you, ignoring his shaking arms. He watched you for a moment as your legs fell to the bed and hands cover your face. He could only leave you there for a moment, reeling from the feeling of him coming inside of you. He smiled, then, and ran his fingers between your legs. You twitched, letting out a little laugh and trying to push his hand away.

“No. I’m not letting you off that easy.” He easily pushed two fingers inside of you and you gasped. You grasped at his free arm for some leverage as he curled his fingers upward. He smiled as your back arched and you let out a small, high pitched noise. It was almost unreasonable satisfyingly how easy it was to add a third finger.

“Feel that?” he asked. He rocked his fingers inside you for a second. They made a lewd wet sound and you turned your head to the side, hiding from his intense gaze. “Know what that is?” You nodded, lips pinched shut in a fruitless attempt to hold in noise.

“You like this, don’t you? Like feeling my cum inside you?” Instead of responding you let out an involuntary moan. He retaliated by moving his hands faster, pulling a whine from your throat. “Use your words.”

“Yes,” you gasped. Iwaizumi leaned down and laid a messy kiss against your lips. You tried your best to kiss him back, but he could feel you having trouble breathing as his fingers moved faster. Your arms locked around his neck and held him close to you as your body started shaking again.

“You gonna come for me?” he asked. You nodded and gasped out a small “yes.”

“Yeah, come for me. I’ve got you.” Your back arched off the bed and you made a deliciously loud noise as you came. It was like you were suspended in time for a moment, breath stopping and body freezing, before letting out a shaky sigh.

“Good girl,” he muttered, talking you through as he slowed his hand, lightly curling his fingers. You twitched as little shock waves shook your body. “Just like that.” He pulled his hand away from you and let you collapse onto the bed.

“Such a good girl. You okay?”

You nodded, panting turning into small laughs as you tried and failed to catch your breath. He smiled in response and brought his fingers up to hover over your mouth.

“Good. Open,” he said. You looked at him confused until you saw his hand. You followed his instructions and held his gaze as he pressed them onto your tongue. He tried to mask the shiver that ran up his body with a laugh, but no such luck. The feeling of your lips closing around him made his mind feel hazy again.

Iwaizumi leaned over and kissed your shoulder before collapsing next to you. He laid an arm over your bare stomach and nuzzled into your arm, basking in the sound of your still shallow breaths. His body was so heavy. It felt like you were both going to sink through the floor.

That was until a horrifyingly loud beeping noise pierced through the silence. You both jerked up, startled and looking around in confusion. You made the connection first.

“Shit! The brownies.”

Iwaizumi let out a shocked laugh as you both went barreling into the kitchen. He grabbed a towel and waved it by the fire alarm as you pulled out the charred pan and slammed it onto the stove. He continued fanning the air until the beeping finally stopped and he could turn to you. You had sunk to the ground, an exhausted smile on your face. You looked so sweet, plopped down on the tile in nothing but your oversized shirt. He knelt in front of you and kissed your knee, then grinned.

“I love you. That was not supposed to happen.”

[wrex-writes]

hello!! i am here to attest that this blog still has followers and aLSO that folks are getting excellent mileage out of the archive of posts. the posts about writing rehab helped get me back into ficwriting after two years away!!

i did want to ask (if you have time!) — are there certain writing exercises i can do or questions i can think about to help guide me to how to satisfyingly end a story or figure out major beats in a plot? or to figure out the most narratively interesting dynamic between two characters? i am finding myself quite stuck on these fronts right now and would love advice!

Ah good question. I think it comes down to discovering what you, personally, want. What gets you going about the idea of these two characters interacting? Why did you even put them together in the first place? Likewise with the story as a whole - what sorts of scenes do you want to write? What sounds, well, fun? It may seem obvious and easy but I’ve found it’s actually quite difficult to follow the trail of your own taste and desires - to get away from “what would be best?” to “what draws me in? what aspect of this story attracts me? why did I start writing it in the first place? what do I want to get out of it?” It’s a matter of trusting your own intuition, which first requires you to even hear your intuition, which is not a trivial task.

One thing I often do is try to find the shameful idfic under the story I think I’m writing. What is the most sappy, self-indulgent, “I can’t show this to people because they’ll get a mortifying glimpse into what I’m really like” version of this story? You don’t have to write that version, but it’s helpful to let it out because suppressing it is probably suppressing good ideas too.

Coming at it from another angle: when I hit a block and don’t know where to take a story next, I often ask “what’s the worst possible thing that could happen?” And maybe I don’t do exactly that? But usually it will get me thinking along interesting lines. It gets me away from the temptation to 1) play the story safe, and 2) just finish it already. It can also bring what the story is about into focus - which I think is what you’re really asking. How does one get to the pith and core of the story, the part that makes it worth writing? For me it requires thinking in extremes - see the idfic thing above - even if I don’t ultimately go to that extreme. What sort of event would make the subterranean issues between these two characters explode to the surface? What is the most terrible, dramatic or just friggin bonkers thing that could happen right now? It’s not about making the story ~dramatic so much as jogging my brain into deciding what the real story actually is.

TL;DR - you know what you want to write, but you don’t know that you know it, so the trick is getting yourself to confess what you really want. :)

[enviousmango]

At the risk of being overly optimistic and categorically incorrect, I thing there's still a chance we'll see the rest of a character arc for Mhok. I've been thinking that the Last Twilight book is a metaphor for Mhok as much as or more than it is for Day. Mee is constantly worried about being "left behind" in the darkness, which we can draw a pretty clear line from into Day's literal darkness as he loses his vision. Meanwhile, Day is the light for Mhok, who feels left behind and has been pushing people away since the loss of his sister. We even heard Porjai say that he broke up with her in front of his parole officer. That would be a pretty firm shove for anyone but Porjai and Mhok still have the shared history (Rung) so they're connected whether he likes it or not.

All that said, if Day actually regains his sight (as a viewer who wants these characters to have every good thing, I could like the idea of this outcome but thematically it makes no sense and it's always genuinely troubling to have a character "cured" of a disability in media), he won't *need* Mhok anymore. It feels like he's been quietly spiraling without the previous purpose he had caring for Day, which I think is why we're seeing so little introspection and spending less time with Mhok on screen. He's moving into the shadows a bit to the audience as well. When he thought Day was bailing on their Christmas visit, we see him standing in the shadow in front of a warmly illuminated background looking quite gloomy.

Then his phone rings and he see's Day's name and we can actually see Jimmy take a step backward in the blocking. The camera refocuses on him now in the light with the cheerful background elements a little more in focus. The light hits his face and then we see him smile for the first time in the sequence as he answers the call.

Mhok seems to mask his feelings and when the mask comes off, he looks truly miserable in this conversation as Day apologizes. We see him oscillating between hiding his abandonment panic by making a self-effacing joke and then being honest and saying his wish is for Day to be by his side.

Until Day uses one of Mhok's own lines ("The moon looks beautiful tonight ... Step out and take a look.") and then we see him turn so the light fully covers his face.

Ultimately, I suspect we're going to see Mhok's "turn to stone" moment in the coming episodes and it'll be Day's turn to reach out and pull him back. Two episodes feels really fast for that arc to satisfyingly resolve but I've been loving this show and the writing so much that I've got some likely misguided faith that they'll button the story up nicely with good growth for Mhok.

I actually just noticed while clipping this scene that there are a bunch of little lights all around the restaurant that are off until Day comes into the restaurant, and then they're suddenly on.

On another note, while Day's mom is truly in the wrong for how she's treating Day, I do think the show is doing a good job showing the exceptionally difficult journey of being a parent to a typically-abled young adult who suddenly becomes disabled. At the beginning of the show she hopes to get him out of his room and enjoying his life and the next moment she wants to "protect" him by making hiding him away and revoking his access to the outside world. We don't have to agree with her decisions to recognize that her situation is complicated and understand her motivations. I actually won't be too bothered if this thread doesn't get fully resolved as long as we see some progress and acceptance from her.

I'm really loving Night, who's been such a steady character the whole show even as we didn't understand his drives and motivations for so much of the story. His motives and actions have been really consistent as he waited for Day to forgive him and we got used to his behavior without really understanding why he was doing it, which made the payoff of explanation and ultimately forgiveness from Day really satisfying. He's a fantastic static character in this cast of extremely dynamic arcs. He grounds the scenes he is in and I find myself rooting for him to find happiness among the turmoil.

This show has been so compelling and I'm really looking forward to seeing how it ends. I haven't added something that made me cry this much to my "plan to rewatch" list since the 2019 k-drama Chocolate. I just hope it can give us some proper resolution for the major character arcs that aren't too shallow.

Last Twilight Episode 10

Okay…okay. I have had some concerns about this show on a low simmer for weeks and unfortunately, the direction this episode took has brought them all roaring to the surface.

First let me just say there was a lot about this episode I really loved (anything to do with Night especially). But there are also a few things that did not work for me so well, so let’s take them one at a time.

Mhok’s Story

Mhok’s financial struggles, the prejudice he faces as a formerly incarcerated person, and his deep grief for his sister have been back-burnered for weeks while he and the story focused on Day. I chatted with @my-rose-tinted-glasses about this last week and said that I was reserving judgment and hoped this was an intentional part of the narrative that would come to the fore—Mhok was subsuming his own problems by making Day his entire life, and when he inevitably left the caretaker job he would have to face them again.

Welp, this episode was the moment for that to happen, if it was ever going to, and the show didn’t do it. Instead, they quickly glossed over Mhok’s struggles with two short scenes and a couple lines of dialogue, stuck him in a new job, and went right back to focusing on Day. Will I ever get a Thai bl that sets up class conflict and financial struggles and then actually takes it seriously?? Apparently not today.

This choice to gloss over Mhok’s money problems is also making the romance feel pretty imbalanced, and I’m really mourning the opportunity to see Day be a supportive partner to Mhok like he has been for him. I want Mhok to be a whole person, not an improbably perfect love interest. The lack of reciprocity in their dynamic is not great and it’s holding this romance back from reaching its full potential.

Day’s Mom

Let’s be very clear: Day’s mom’s behavior in this episode was abusive. She was within her rights to fire Mhok, which he knew and that’s why he resigned before she took action. But her choice to intentionally isolate Day and lock him up in his room with no access to the outside world was cruel and selfish. And it doesn’t seem like the show really gets that, given how they presented her and Day through the rest of the episode.

That family holiday scene was really missing the underlying edge it should have had given she was playing the loving mom while doing these things to Day, and other than one brief line from Night that got interrupted, we didn’t see any acknowledgement in the story of how wrong she was, or even get a good sense of how much she was harming Day.

I would have liked to see Day actually seem affected by his isolation rather than focusing on more cute date moments. Bad Buddy was really adept at delivering excellent couple moments while never letting you forget about the underlying trauma and melancholy of the story, but this show is not managing to do the same. Moonlight Chicken also has some glorious moments where bad and abusive parenting was called out very directly, so the lack of it here is really jarring. It all feels curiously light for the subject matter and I expected more from Aof.

Day’s Vision

Obviously after the end of the episode this will be the worry on everyone’s mind heading into next week. We know Aof previews can’t be trusted, but it seems clear the surgery is going to happen. Thematically, I do not think it makes any sense for the show to restore Day’s vision. I wish they weren’t going here with the eye donation surgery at all, but if they’re going to do it I hope its purpose is for the procedure to fail as a mechanism to force Day and his family to finally accept that his disability will not be fixed. But given the above noted poor execution on some of the story’s other themes, I am not currently feeling super confident that the show won’t do something very silly here. Fingers crossed!

[yandere-sins]

Your writing is just!! Mwah very good

May I request some rivalry or perhaps sharing hcs with yan diluc and yan kaeya?

Ah yes, let’s have something to sweeten my evening ~

»»———————— ♡ ————————««       

Kaeya

♡ Nothing he does ever happens without some underlying intentions. Is it leverage against his sworn brother? Could be. Maybe it’s just his revenge for all the years being absent and their tainted past. Perhaps Kaeya really just wants them to have something to connect over again. He can live with the dirty glances he receives from Diluc and playing the bad cop - who’s constantly pushing boundaries - in their pairing for when their darling misbehaves. However, they quickly learn that Diluc isn’t the person to run to when the brothers disapprove of the darling’s doings, or they might suffer from a punishment worse than if they go to Kaeya for help. Then again, ice might help soothe a wound, but only until it becomes a much more dreaded cryogenic burn.

♡ Kaeya isn’t putting up a rivalry between them. He much rather wants to share the darling with Diluc, but the latter isn’t as into the idea as Kaeya is. And yet, when he sees his brother so restrained and having no fun, Kaeya believes it’s his personal duty to tease Diluc into relaxing a bit and helping with tending to their darling. Whenever Diluc plays unapproachable, he’ll make sure to ask the darling ridiculous questions about who they like better, his once comforting hand now an icy and silent warning to not chose wrong. There’s something exhilarating in seeing Diluc bite his lip when he isn’t chosen, the slight pout and cold stare making it worth the tease. Knowing that Diluc wouldn’t just touch their darling unprovoked also plays into the reason why Kaeya likes to handle them so much, pulling them on his lap and running his hands up and down their body until they squirm. It’s when Diluc wants to interfere that Kaeya makes it clear to not get into his way, sparks of possessiveness erupting between them. Kaeya will tell his brother he’d prefer it if he left the two alone if he’s planning to just stand and watch, leaving his brother to seethe by himself as he storms out. At the same time, Kaeya remains with a knowing grin on his lips and their sweet darling in his embrace, winning almost every one of those battles.

♡ Knowing that Diluc is organizing everything for the darling, Kaeya can focus on all the nice things. Bringing them presents and what they ruefully request from him, even if they have to beg. He really, truly believes and makes himself out to be the good guy, but everyone involved knows his intentions are far from it. Every present comes with strings - sometimes literally. He’ll make use of all the good deeds to get what he wants from the darling later. Admittedly, oftentimes the presents are of more use to him than the darling, but he gives them back a little bit of what they desperately seek - freedom. A new book here, some flowers there. Clothes to choose from - plus the permission to dress as they please -  and sweets and drinks for the more depressing days to enjoy with or without him. While Diluc seems to accept what the darling is willing to give, Kaeya takes everything he wants. But if he isn’t too needy, too forceful, or too drunk, Kaeya is their go-to brother because he has their darling on hooked on all the good he can do for them. Not like he wouldn’t take what belongs to him even if they were to hold on to Diluc desperately. Only a drawn sword might be able to deter Kaeya - until Diluc isn’t there to protect them anymore, at least. Kaeya doesn’t forget what he feels he’s owed.

Diluc

♡ Diluc has a goal, and that’s what he’s focusing on. He wants his darling to be safe, and knowing he has to share them with his ‘brother’ isn’t really helping. He constantly has someone watching over the darling’s room, but Kaeya bribed the guards, a knock against the door warning him of approaching danger when he shouldn’t be in the darling’s room. Nonetheless, when Diluc finds his darling crying on the bed, covered with their bedsheet, he knows that Kaeya has been back, making him angry enough to have lost a few of the guards already in a bloody mess. The deal is that the two aren’t allowed to be alone together, but Kaeya seemed to have forgotten about the promise after it was made. And on the few awful days that Diluc has to watch over Kaeya pushing himself onto his darling, challenging his own brother with a pesky grin and his name dripping off his lips, Diluc can feel the headache it’s causing him, wondering if it’s really worth the pain to share his darling. But he has to, even if it’s just to keep himself and his darling save from the Knights of Favonius with Kaeya’s help.

♡ Undeniably, though he does deny it harshly, Diluc does have a bit of a jealous attitude towards his brother. He knows everything Kaeya does while staring Diluc in the eye provocatively is merely to make him nervous and break his composure. Sometimes it’s hard to just stand by and watch, but if there ever was a fight breaking out between the two, no one knew how much danger it would put the darling into. Meaning, Diluc has to make sure that it will never happen, even if that means he has to leave them alone. The many times he sighed once he left their room, scared for his darling, but relieved that he didn’t have to see something he never would want to witness, are hurting him and causing frustration. And when Kaeya makes them say that they like him more than Diluc, it stings, even though he knows that Kaeya is threatening them into it. Still, he’d want to be their first choice too. And sometimes, just sometimes, he wants to switch places with Kaeya, just to know how it is to handle their darling and not keep a painful distance to them because it was necessary. Occasionally, he manages to break the darling out of his brother’s fangs. Still, perhaps because he has no way of comforting them, putting them back in bed the moment Kaeya leaves, he always feels a bit jealous of his brother, who has so much more freedom with them. But freedom isn’t safety. That’s the only thing Diluc can think about.

♡ Diluc has to admit that there are times he sees them misbehave, and for that, he punishes them. Kaeya, on the other hand, has a habit of doing it for the most minor things like the darling shaking their head or looking at Diluc for help. However, other than Kaeya, Diluc believes he’s still the better liked and ‘good’ brother of the two. After all, he’s the one that cleans up the mess, feeds them, tends to their wounds. Everything that Kaeya leaves behind after having his fun with Diluc’s sweet darling is Diluc’s responsibility. The darling’s wardrobe is so full of awful colored, itching, and frilly fabrics that sometimes their darling is very appreciative of the simple shirt and trousers that Diluc keeps hidden until needed for them. Their teeth are going bad from being fed all those overly sweet and tough-to-eat presents, so even though they reject his efforts, Diluc makes sure to brush it for them thoroughly. It’s the only kind of direct contact with them, and with his mind focused on the task, he also keeps his thoughts from straying. Diluc knows he deserves nothing for the efforts he makes - after all, he’s aware that he locked them inside of this room - but if at the end of the day he knows they can sleep soundly, it’s enough for him. Kaeya is giving him a headache, but seeing a tired, automatic smile as he hands his darling water or fresh clothes makes it all worth it. And as much as he despises him, Kaeya did help bring Diluc and his darling closer together. Even if Diluc’s and Kaeya’s relationship is strained and complicated, it helps build more of a relationship with his darling. Though he has to always be behind his brother and make sure his darling is as safe as possible, Diluc at least gets to harvest the fruits of his labor slowly and satisfyingly. And if anyone knows how to do that, then the wine tycoon of Mondstadt.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

heartspace, m | myg

pairing(s): yoongi x reader

summary: Min Yoongi will always be the one. The one on top, the one above all others, the one who has a space in your heart. Sometimes, Yoongi questions it. You have to remind him that no one commands you like he can, and he reminds you that no one can take you from him.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; smut (fem reader, fingering, nipple play, m-receiving oral, doggy, scratching / marking, hair-pulling, cock warming); PWP; softdom!Yoongi

yes, I have been planning this ever since I released ‘headspace’. happy birthday Yoongi! <3 I would have pretty words for you, but I literally write smut about you, so how about you not practice your English here because I know you’re secretly fluent. I’ll give you the ‘I-love-you’ speech some other time XD

--

"I'm here."

You felt his fingers trail down your exposed arms, drumming down your skin. He took your hands, tracing your silver rings, humming satisfyingly. A familiar view, a fair skinned wrist with silver chain bracelets. He curled his long fingers around yours, caressing the inside of them. You could smell his cologne, scarcely sweet and musky woods, just a hint here and there, wisps that seemed almost imaginary. 

"To remind you that you're mine."

His grip tightened around your wrists.

A swift pull, spinning you around in your computer chair, tearing you away from the keyboard. Fluffed black hair, brushing against dark brown, cat-like eyes. A pensive smile and two silver hoops on each ear. All black, turtleneck, leather jacket, slacks. Your favorite. 

Your shadow. 

Min Yoongi. 

"I... I can explain."

The smile turned into a smirk. 

"No need."

He intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing them, unforgiving metal of the rings digging into both your hands. Leaned down, pushing your rolling chair into your desk so it stopped, husky voice against your chin. He stroked one of your silver rings, spinning it around your index finger. 

"Yoongi..."

He purred your name, drawing it out syllable by syllable, letting it slowly assault your ears. Your skin tingled as he pulled you up, your loose black t-shirt too thin, feeling far too much as he tugged you to him, his inescapable gravity and wicked smirk. 

“You smell different today,” he murmured, your bare legs brushing against his slacks.

You did smell different. Like burning wood and roasted sweet chestnuts, a new scent you found that instantly attracted you. That’s how you were. You encountered things and you immediately loved them, intensely, addictively, forever.

Just like Min Yoongi.

“Mmm.”

His hand traveled under the hem of your shirt, grabbing your thigh and sinking his fingers into it with a soft hiss. You bit your lip, closing your eyes, falling into the touch, letting it consume you. There were not a lot of things that could make you give in, but you believed in your instincts and trusted them. Your instincts always told you where to go, what to do, who to go to. With one glance, you could pinpoint if you would like something or not, even in unfamiliar territory. Your instincts always guided you to your loves. The things you loved always became significant, always changed your life, always had your devotion through time, space, and dreams.

They became obsessions and they never stopped.

Yoongi buried his face into your neck and inhaled, moaning softly.

“Smells so good. Warm. Like a comforting memory,” he mumbled.

“Reminded me of you.”

And it had. The second you smelled it; memories of his embrace had blanketed around you.

He lifted his head and his eyes were on yours. Half-lidded, plagued by dark circles, the loveliest black-brown in the whole world. You normally hated eye contact, but not in this space, not with him. Your hands slid under his leather jacket, wrapping around his waist. Yoongi leaned in, kissing you once more, pressing your body to his, leather and softness. He reached into his jacket and possessively tucked one of your hands in his.

“Sometimes,” he muttered against your lips. “Sometimes I think I don’t have your love.” His fingers caressed yours as you kneaded his waist underneath the turtleneck. "Do you not want me around anymore?"

A small smile drifted onto your lips. You reached up with your free hand and tugged the collar of your t-shirt down, revealing your silver necklaces. 

"You're always with me."

Yoongi’s dark eyes traveled down your neck, to the first one, seeing the tiny circular overlapping pendants. His name etched in the lower one, his birthstone set in the upper one. A tiny, contented smile. The others were a tangle of chains and charms, but Yoongi was the one who mattered most, so he was on top. 

Always on top. 

“What if you lose that?” he teased.

You chuckled. “So what? I could lose everything I own, but I would still love you, Yoongi.” You placed your forehead against his. “My head could be full of someone else, but there is always a space in my heart for you.”

The things you loved.

They are always and forever.

He raised his hand and placed a single fingertip in between your collarbones. Your spine tingled, scalp prickling as he slid it up your neck, lips parting as he watched it travel over your skin, up your chin and onto your plush lips, nail snagging on the softness.

“Such lovely words, but this mouth can do such dirty things,” Yoongi breathed, the side of his curving upwards playfully. You quirked your eyebrow and opened your mouth, licking the tip of his finger with your tongue, smiling around it.

“I can have pure feelings and a filthy mind.”

Yoongi cocked his brow to match yours, smirk widening to reveal his white teeth. “And you certainly do. I have no idea how your mind works.”

And then before you could respond, Yoongi shoved two fingers into your mouth, rubbing them against your tongue. You chuckled, wrapping your lips around them, sucking daintily, tongue swirling, slipping between them, drawing figure-eights. His eyes on you, darkening, darkening, the sparks of desire stroked to black flame, burning intensely as you placed the tip of your tongue all the way down to the skin where his two fingers connected, down to his knuckles, his fingers almost down your throat.

“You have such a tiny mouth,” he purred. “Astounded that my cock can fit in there.”

Yoongi pulled his fingers out and you gasped, strings of saliva dripping down and snapping against your chin. There was something about his expression, not trying to trick you, not trying to seduce you, simply aware of what he was going to do and that he was going to do it. There was no one to stop him. 

In fact, you patiently awaited it.

His free hand closed on the hem of your pajama shirt and slipped under, pushing your panties to one side and shoving his wet fingers into your pussy.

“Ah, Y-Yoongi!”

He smiled, sliding his fingers in and out, and you raised one of your legs, hooking it around his hip, one hand on his shoulder, moaning as he rubbed the inside of your walls, feeling all of you, watching your face the entire time, your pussy throbbing at the knowledge of being observed so intently. His other hand snuck up your back, drawing patterns on the thin black fabric, hardly a barrier from his touch, and then he traveled further up, running his fingers through your hair, tangling them at the base and yanking back, neck exposed, your moans deepening, saturated with lust, the pace of his fingers inside you increasing. You clenched around them, breath hitching at the pricks of pain, viscous juices soaking his hand and coating his knuckles. Yoongi leaned forward, inhaling your scent once more.

“Cum for me,” he purred, teeth on your neck, nipping lightly, pinches of red marks.

Pulling a little harder, thrusting a little deeper, sucking on the space in between your collarbones, your teeth sinking into your lower lip, whimpering as the sensitive skin was bitten and the insides of your walls roughly rubbed, grinding into his hand to stimulate your clit and it was too hot, too much, pushing you over the edge.

“Oh, fuck, Yoongi…”

Pussy clamping around his digits, pulsating violently, your juices sliding down the back of his hand and his palm, covering him with you. A short reprieve, Yoongi letting you ride the high, sighing in satisfaction as he felt your walls shiver with the aftershocks. His other hand released your hair and you panted hard, tipping your head back up, only to be forced to raise your arms as Yoongi yanked your shirt up. You pulled it over your head, shaking your hair out, now wild and messy. He snapped a finger on your black bra strap, impatient expression telling you to take it off. You undid it with one hand and, as soon was it fell to the floor, Yoongi ripped his fingers out of you. You yelped at the suddenness, abruptly turning into a moan as Yoongi took his slick fingers covered in your cum and smeared them over your breasts, circling around your hard nipples, pinching them in between his slippery touch.

“Fuck, I love these nipples,” Yoongi muttered, dipping his head down to your chest, breathing in the scent of your orgasm. “So fucking big and soft and hard, all at once.”

He wrapped his lips around one and sucked off your juices with a moan, cleaning up his mess by licking all over your breasts. He placed his two wet fingers around the other, pinching and tugging on it, trailing his tongue up and down, up and down, matching pace, drenching your skin with his saliva before collecting it all back up and circling the sensitive hardened nub with the wetness, flicking his tongue against it, gentle, intense, continuous, until you were shaking and shivering against him.

Your hands came up and held his head, pushing back his black hair, moaning as you ran your fingers through it, over and over, his large hands pressing your tits together and playing on your nipples with his lips and fingers, sucking hard.

There were a lot of words in this world and none of them could describe exactly how Yoongi made you feel, like he could set everything on fire while also being the water rushing through you, burning and drowning, his brown orbs looking up at you, silent, but clear with his lust, reflecting you in his eyes. 

A mirror, so akin to you.

And yet not, because he was Min Yoongi. 

His other hand fitted in the curve of your back, forcing you to arch more, trailing his tongue over your chest, humming at your soft cries. 

"You always look so good no matter what I'm doing to you," he mused, lazily licking off your other nipple. 

"It's because you're the one doing it," you panted, shivering as he blew on your wet skin. 

"Hm, I don't think so. I think you're just hot as hell."

He kissed up your chest, on your lips once more, sighing softly, your sharp sweet taste on his lips, both hands on your breasts, pinching your nipples with his knuckles. You whined into his mouth, and he shushed you with rough kisses as he rubbed them just as roughly, pain and pleasure, working you until you were breathless, gasping, pleading for more. He chuckled, releasing them, earning a frantic whimper, his mouth still pressed to yours. You heard him shrug off the leather jacket, dumping it on the chair. Nudging you forward to the bed, staying in stride with you, and you, grip on his turtleneck, yanking it out of his slacks, his smirk against your smirk. 

"What if," Yoongi murmured, hands enveloping yours, tracing your silver rings. "One of my rings was here?" Tapping your left ring finger, mischievous spark underneath his lashes. 

"Do I get to put one here?" you teased, sliding one between his and wrapping it around his left ring finger. 

"Ah, they should match, shouldn't they?"

You grinned, tumbling onto the bed and dragging him with you, Yoongi quirking an eyebrow, tone rich and deep as he continued.

"You like white gold or platinum?"

You tugged his turtleneck up and off his head, letting it fall to the floor, running a hand through his fluffed black hair as you mused.

"I'll let you pick," you purred. "And then I can pick one."

"For where?"

"For here."

Yoongi sucked in a breath, narrowing his eyes and mouth at you, cheeks puffing a little, but there was no mistaking the amusement in his words. 

"At least service him before you start putting him in prison."

You unlatched your grip on his clothed cock. 

"What am I, but of service?" 

He watched your tongue trace your lips as you slid down, unbuttoning his slacks, zipper being teased down, a pleased smile growing as his clothes were tugged off, crumpling to the floor. 

"Let me help you," Yoongi drawled as you lowered your head, calm hands gathering your hair to a long ponytail, winding it around his palm before turning his hand around, fitting his hold to the back of your head. You raised an eyebrow at his smirk.

"It's going to be like that?"

His eyes darkened, black hair falling over them. 

"You love it like that."

That's true. Familiar words came back to you, almost like a mantra.

What if you live like that?

Tongue sliding out, licking him all over, dripping saliva down his length, his cock already hard and insistent against your lips, hot and trembling, pleading for attention, but you nuzzled past, wrapping your lips around one of his balls and swirling your tongue around it, listening to his deep moan, smokey and raspy, your name mixed with his sounds of appreciation, hand firm on the back of your head. You switched sides, back and forth, sucking one as you licked the other, accompanied by loud slurps that made Yoongi's hips jerk, euphoric gasps filling your room. 

"Fuck, that's a dangerous mouth..." he hissed. "You could make anyone fall for you with your mouth alone."

You snaked your tongue along his stiff length, side to side, tracing the contours with your wet muscle, finally coating the tip with a thick layer of warmth, seeing Yoongi watch you with hunger, his long fingers pressed into your scalp. 

"Down," he growled. 

You obeyed. 

Swallowing it all, all the way to the base, his cock twitching in your mouth. Yoongi gasped sharply, holding you down, your throat constricting around the head, barely able to breathe, but you were in Yoongi's hands now. 

Your favorite pair of hands to command you.

"Fuck... fuck..."

He tilted his hips and you fell on your side, silver necklaces jangling, steadying yourself with your elbow. Slow but forceful, sliding out and pushing back in, moaning softly as he fucked your face, your hands in his sides, nails digging in, whining around his thickness, pushing your tongue against the bottom to make it tighter, better, his strong taste coating your mouth, so good your mind was a bit hazy from it or was it the intensity of his thrusts that was leaving you breathless?

You tensed your throat muscles and Yoongi chuckled, breathing hard.

"You sure you haven't practiced on someone else? You're too good at this, fuck..."

It was impossible to reply, think, or breathe, clawing at his back, rocking your body with his, your own power intoxicating you, knowing Yoongi was close to his end by the increased speed and roughness, grip on your head unforgiving, bouncing you back and forth with the force of his hips, your wet lips smacking his balls and crotch, the head repeatedly burying itself in your throat, stretching it out just like how Yoongi would stretch you out soon.

"Fuck, I know you love it when I use your mouth like this," he snarled. 

I do. I love all the things you do to me. 

He clenched his jaw and a grating hiss fell from his lips, thrusting deep and spilling down your throat, you whimpering as you swallowed hurriedly, hands splayed over his back and ass, holding him there so you could drink it all, tongue pressed along his length to feel his cock throb with every spurt of cum painted down your throat. There was no time to think about breathing, completely dazed by his strong taste and the forced manner that you had to consume his orgasm, visceral and obscene.

"Time for your other hole."

You drew back, gasping for air, hair cascading around you as Yoongi let go, taking advantage of your hazy state clawing for oxygen. You barely registered him pushing you down to the sheets, hands and knees, ass up and ready, his own hands on your hips to peel your wet pussy lips apart, watching your glistening opening flexing, the reaction both your muscles and your desire.

Waiting for him. 

Wanting him. 

"Mmm, my pretty pussy," he purred possessively.

Your body already knew what to do even if your mind was still trying to catch up. He took the condom from your shaking, outstretched hand and ripped it open. You didn't have to wait long. He leaned forward. The swollen, hot head pressed against your opening. Not moving, chest against your back. 

"Yoongi, please..." you gasped hoarsely.

"Please what?"

This fucking tease. "Please... fuck me."

His hand crawled up the sheets, deft fingers dancing, up your wrist, and onto your hand, your silver rings glinting in the low light. He placed his fingers in between yours, lips against your ear. 

"My perfect plaything, aren't you?"

A swift thrust and you were moaning, fingers closing in around his, suddenly so full and so deep that you saw white for a brief moment, but there was no time, no time as Yoongi slid back and slammed into you again, crotch to ass, untangling his hand from yours so he could right himself and fuck you hard, just the way you liked, just the way you needed. 

"Mmm, what a beautiful back."

You buried your face into the pillows, his fingernails scraping down your skin, sending shocks and stings all over you, helpless cries at his wonderful scratches, the exact pressure so that he left marks all over you but didn't break skin, so good paired with his harsh thrusts, making you claw for the headboard, planting your hands on it and bucking back into his hard length, heightening the pleasure and mixing it with pain, Yoongi's satisfied grunts behind you, necklaces jingling on your chest. Sensation, sound, emotion, all of it, building up inside, winding the coil, tighter, tighter. 

Nothing else mattering but being fucked by Yoongi's cock. 

"This body is for me, isn't it?" Yoongi growled, racking his nails down your back.

"Whenever you want, fuck, oh fuck, Yoongi!"

He kept going, the fire of your orgasm burning hot, crashing waves threatening to take you under, but still he gripped your hips and fucked you into the bed, the bed frame squeaks drowned out by the loud squelches of his rock-hard cock reentering you over and over again. 

"That's what I thought," he snickered, leaning down and earning a wail, so deep it felt like he was hitting your cervix, the head swelling as your walls clenched around him. "No one can take you from me, isn't that right?"

You responded automatically, your body once again responding quicker than your brain could, the answer always there, lingering in your mind, unwavering, pure instinct.

"No one."

The words rushing out with ravenous conviction, nails curling into the headboard, so much forced pleasure, savoring in Yoongi’s roughness, pussy pulsating so strongly that you weren't sure what was an orgasm and what wasn't. All over you, through you, in you, clouding your mind and thoughts. Absolute precision, knowing exactly how to fill you, and you clenching him back, molding to him to deliver the pleasure he loved, primal needs being satisfied, everything feeling so good that you became lightheaded, and yet you still found yourself uttering between moans and gasps, declaration being ripped from you because of Yoongi’s perfect cock destroying you mentally and physically.

"It will always be you above all others, Yoongi."

His fingers wrapped in your hair and yanked back, the sudden pain making you scream his name, liquid gushing down his cock and balls, thick and viscous, sticking to both your inner thighs. Your name falling from his lips, a half-moan, half-hiss, his entire length jolting inside you, filling the condom, and Yoongi rolled his hips into you once more, feeling it all, every contour of your pussy constricting around his throbbing cock. 

"Fuck..."

Two voices that sounded like one, rough, grating, instinctive, matching in time. Sparks coursing through your veins, body shivering with the aftereffects, squeezing the remnants out of him. His hand reached around; strands still tangled in his fingers.

Yoongi cupped your chin roughly, caressing your skin. 

"Above all others, hm?" he breathed, the depth of his voice soothing your thudding heart. Both of you sinking down into the bed, knees giving out, and he was still inside you, gripped tight by your stubbornness, his arms around your shaking body. You closed your eyes, Min Yoongi surrounding you, invading your space with his possessive embrace, his unavoidable presence, his inescapable hold, and you, a willing captive, letting him take over.

His lips against your ear, a familiar purr, your always and forever whisper. 

Your shadow. 

"I like that."

--

masterpost

-

who said people are animals of wisdom? for me, obviously, we are animals of regret people change, just as I've changed there is nothing permanent in the world everything is just a happening passing through

My blog is named after ‘People’ by Agust D, the only song that I’ve ever felt every word and every line, rapped and sang with that exact pitch and emotion, describe me. I’ve always wondered, these thoughts I have, will anyone ever be able to put them into words?

so what? what if you live like that?

And you did, Yoongi, and for that, I am grateful.

[hamliet]

The Crows Summon the Sun

Or, Hamliet’s review of Shadow & Bone, which gets a 4.5/5 for enjoyment and a 3.5/5 in terms of writing.

The true heroes of this story and the saviors of the show are the Crows. However, the problem is that the show then has an uneven feel, because the strength of the Crows plotline highlights the weaknesses of the trilogy storyline. But imo, overall, the strengths overshadow (#punintended) the weaknesses. 

I’ll divide the review into the narrative and the technical (show stuff, social commentary), starting with narrative.

Narrative: The Good 

It’s What The Crows Deserve

I went into the show watching it for the Crows; however, knowing that their storyline was intended to be a prequel, I wasn’t terribly optimistic. And while it is a prequel, the characters have complete and full arcs that perfectly set them up for the further development they will have in the books (which I think should be the next season?). Instead of retreading the arcs they’d have in the books, which is how prequels usually go, they had perfect set up for these arcs. It’s really excellent. 

Jesper, Inej, and Kaz are all allowed to be flawed, to have serious conflicts with one another, and yet to love each other. They feel like a found family in the best of ways. Kaz is the perfect selfish rogue; he’s a much more successfully executed Byronic hero than the Darkling, actually. Inej is heroic and her faith is not mocked, yet she too is flawed and her choices are not always entirely justified, but instead left to the audience to ponder (like killing the girl), which is a more mature writing choice that I appreciated. 

Jesper is charming, has a heart of gold despite being a murderer and on the surface fairly greedy, and MILO THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GOAT WAS THE BEST THING EVER. I also liked Jesper’s fling with Dima but I felt it could be better used rather than merely establishing his sexuality, like if Jesper and Dima had seen each other one more time or something had come of their tryst for the plot/themes/development of Jesper. 

Nina and Matthias’s backstory being in the first season, instead of in flashbacks, really works because it automatically erases any discomfort of the implications of Nina having falsely accused Matthias that the books start with. We know Nina, we know Matthias, we know their motivations, backgrounds, and why they feel the way we do. It’ll be easy for the audience to root for them without a lot of unnecessary hate springing from misunderstanding Nina (since she’s my favorite). Matthias’s arc was also really strongly executed and satisfyingly tragic. Their plotline was a bit unfortunately disconnected from the rest of the story, but Danielle Gallagan and Callahan Skogman have absolutely sizzling chemistry so I found myself looking forward to their scenes instead of feeling distracted. Also? It’s nice seeing a woman with Nina’s body type as a romantic and powerful character. 

Hamliet Likes Malina Now

Insofar as the trilogy storyline goes, the best change the show made was Mal. He still is the same character from the books, but much more likable. The pining was... a lot (too much in episode 4, I felt) but Malina is a ship I actually enjoyed in the show while I NOTP’d it in the books. Mal has complexity and layers to his motivations (somewhat) and a likable if awkward charm. Archie Renaux was fantastic. 

Ben Barnes is the perfect Aleksandr Kirigan, and 15 year old me, who had the biggest of big crushes on Ben Barnes (first celebrity crush over a decade ago lol), was pretty damn happy lol. He’s magnificantly acted--sympathetic and terrifying, sincerely caring and yet villainous in moments. Story-wise, I think it was smart to reveal his name earlier on than in the books, because it helps with the humanization especially in a visual medium like film. Luda was a fitting (if heartbreaking) backstory, but it is also hard for me to stomach knowing what the endgame of his character is. Like... I get the X-men fallacy thing, but I hope the show gives more kindness to his character than the books did, yet I’m afraid to hold my breath. Just saying that if you employ save the cat, if you directly say you added this part (Luda) to make the character more likable (as the director did) please do not punish the audience for feeling what you intended. 

I also liked the change that made Alina half-Shu. It adds well to her arc and fits with her character, actually giving her motivations (she kinda just wants to be ordinary in a lot of ways) a much more interesting foundation than in the books. Also it’s nice not to have another knock-off Daenerys (looking to you Celaena and book!Alina). Jessie Mei Li does a good job playing Alina’s insecurities and emotions, but... 

Narrative: The Ehhhhhhh

Alina the Lamp

Sigh. Here we go. Alina has little consistent characterization. She’s almost always passive when we see her, yet she apparently punches an officer for calling her a name and this seems to be normal for her, but it doesn’t fit at all with what we know about her thus far. Contradictions are a part of humanity, but it’s never given any focus, so it comes across as inconsistent instead of a flaw or repression. 

I have no idea what Alina wants, beside that she wants to be with Mal, which is fine except I have no idea what the basis of their bond is. Even with like, other childhood friends to lovers like Ren/Nora in RWBY or Eren/Mikasa in SnK, there’s an inciting moment, a reason, that we learn very early on in their story to show us what draws them together. Alina and Mal just don’t have that. There’s the meadow/running away thing, but they were already so close, and why?  Why, exactly? What brought them together? The term “bullies” is thrown around but it isn’t ever explored and it needed to be this season. If I have to deal with intense pining for so many episodes at least give me a foundation for their devotion. You need to put this in the beginning, in the first season. You just do.

A “lamp” character is a common metaphor to describe a bad character: essentially, you could replace the character with a lamp and nothing changes. Considering Alina’s gift is light, it’s a funnily apt metaphor, but it really does apply. Her choices just don’t... matter. She could be a special lamp everyone is fighting over and almost nothing would change. The ironic thing is that everyone treating her like a fancy lamp is exactly the conflict, but it’s never delved into. We’re never shown that Alina is more than a lamp. She never has to struggle because her choices are made for her and information is gifted to her when she needs it. Not making choices protects Alina from consequences and the story gives her little incentive to change that; in fact, things tend to turn out better when she doesn’t make choices (magic stags will arrive). 

Like... let’s look at a few occasions when Alina almost or does make choices. For example, she chooses to (it seems) sleep with Kirigan, but then there’s a convenient knock at the door and Bhagra arrives with key information that changes Alina’s mind instantly despite the fact that Bhagra’s been pretty terrible to her. If you want to write a woman realizing she’s been duped by a cruel man, show her discovering it instead of having the man’s abusive mother tell her when she had absolutely no such suspicions beforehand. There’s no emotional weight there because Alina doesn’t struggle. 

When she is actually allowed to carry out a bad choice, the consequences are handwaved away instead of built into a challenge for her. Like... Alina got her friends killed. More than once. I’m not saying she’s entirely to blame for these but could we show her reacting to it? Feeling any sort of grief? She never mentions Raisa or Alexei after they’re gone, just Mal, and I’m... okay. They were there because of you. Aren’t you feeling anything? Aren’t you sad? The only time Alina brings up her friends’ deaths is to tell Kirigan he killed her friends when they were only there because she burned the maps. She yells at Kirigan for “never” giving her a choice, but she almost never makes any, so why would he? Alina has the gall to lecture Genya about choices, but she herself almost never has to make any. 

Which brings me to another complaint in general: Alina’s lack of care for everyone around her when they’re not Mal, even if they care for her. Marie dies because of her (absolutely not her fault of course) but as far as we know she never even learns about Marie. She certainly doesn’t ever ask about her or Nadia. Alina seems apathetic at best to people, certainly not compassionate or kind. 

The frustrating thing is that there is potential here. Like, it actually makes a lot of psychological sense for an orphan who has grown up losing to be reluctant to care for people outside of her orbit and that she would struggle to believe she can have any say in her destiny (ie make choices). It’s also interesting that a girl who feels like an outsider views others outside her. But the show never offers examines Alina’s psychology with any depth; it simply tells us she’s compassionate when she is demonstrably not, it tells us she makes decisions when it takes magical intervention to do so. It’s a missed opportunity. This does not change between episodes 1 and 8, despite the episodes’ parallel structures and scenes, which unintentionally reinforces that Alina had little real development. 

Inej and ironically Jesper and Kaz embody the concept of “mercy” far better and with far more complexity than Alina does. The Crows have reactions to the loss of people who even betray them (Arken, etc), learn, and course-correct (or don’t) when they are even loosely involved in having strangers die. They’re good characters because they change and learn and have their choices matter. When they kill we see them wrestle with it and what this means even if they are accustomed to doing so. Jesper can’t kill in front of a child. Kaz wonders what his killings do to Inej’s idea of him.

Narrative: The Mixed Bag

Tropes, Themes, Telling vs. Showing

So the show’s themes in the Alina storyline are a mess, as they are in the trilogy too. Tropes are a very valuable way to show your audience what you’re trying to say. They’re utilized worldwide because they resonate with people and we know what to expect from them. The Crows' storyline shows us what it wants us to learn.

Preaching tells, and unfortunately, the trilogy relies on telling/preaching against fornicationBad Boys. It’s your right to write any trope or trample any trope you want--your story--but you should at least understand what/why you are doing so. The author clearly knows enough about Jungian shadows and dark/light yin/yang symbolism to use it in the story, but then just handwaves it away as “I don’t like this” but never does so in a narratively effective way: addressing the appeal in the first place. If you really wanna deconstruct a trope, you gotta empathize with the core of the reason these tropes appeal to people (it allays deep fears that we are ourselves unlovable, through loving another person despite how beastly they can be), and address this instead of ignoring it. Show us a better way through the Fold of your story. Don’t just go around it and ignore the issue.

The trilogy offers highly simplistic themes at best--bad boy bad and good boy good, which is fine-ish for kid lit but less fine for adult complexity, which the show (more so than the books) seems to try to push despite not actually having much of it.

Alina and Mal are intended to be good, we’re told they are, but I’m not sure why beyond just that we’re told so. Alina claims the stag chose her, but in the show it’s never explained why at all. Unlike with Kaz, Inej, Jesper, and hell even Matthias and Nina, we don’t see Alina or Mal’s complex choices and internal wrestling. 

Like, Inej’s half-episode where she almost killed the guy they needed was far more character exploration than Alina has the entire show, to say nothing of Inej’s later killing which not only makes her leaps and bounds more interesting, but ironically cements her as a far more compelling and yes, likable, heroine than Alina. We see Inej’s emotional and moral conflict. We can relate to her. We see Kaz struggling with his selfishness and regrets, with his understanding of himself through his interactions with and observations of Inej, Alina, the Darkling, Arken, and Jesper.

We don’t explore what makes Mal or Alina good and what makes them bad. We don’t know what Alina discovers about herself, what her power means for her. We are told they are good, we are told she knows her power is hers, but never shown what this means or what this costs them/her. Their opportunities to be good are handed to them (the stag, Bhagra) instead of given to them as a challenge in which they risk things, in which doing good or making a merciful choice costs them. Alina gets to preach about choices without ever making any; Inej risks going back to the Menagerie to trust Kaz. Her choices risk. They cost. They matter and direct her storyline and her arc, and those of the people around her.

Production Stuff:

The Good: 

The production overall is quite excellent. The costumes, pacing, acting, and cinematography (for example, one of the earliest scenes between the Darkling and Alina has Alina with her back to the light, face covered in his shadow, while the Darkling’s face is light up by her light even if he stands in the shadows) are top-notch. The soundtrack as well is incredible and emphasizes the scenes playing. The actors have great chemistry together, friend chemistry and romantic when necessary (Mal and Alina, the Darkling and Alina, Kaz and Inej, Nina and Matthias, David and Genya, etc.) All are perfectly cast. 

The Uncomfortable Technicalities Hamliet Wants to Bitch About:

The only characters from fantasy!Europe having any trace of an accent reminiscent of said fantasy country's real-world equivalent are antagonists like Druskelle (Scandinavia) and Pekka (Ireland). When the heroes mostly have British accents despite being from fantasy Russia and Holland, it is certainly A Choice to have the Irish accent emphasized. The actor is British by the way, so I presume he purposely put on an Irish accent. I'm sure no one even considered the potential implications of this but it is A Look nonetheless.

The Anachronisms Hamliet Has a Pet Peeve About: 

The worldbuilding is compelling, but the only blight on the worldbuilding within the story itself (ignoring context) was that there are some anachronisms that took me out of the story, particularly in the first episode where “would you like to share with the class” and “saved by the horn” are both used. Both are modern-day idioms in English that just don’t fit, especially the latter. The last episode uses “the friends we made along the way.” There are other modern idioms as well.

IT’S STARKOVA and Other Pet Peeves Around the Russian Portrayal 

Russian names are not hard, and Russian naming systems are very, very easy to learn. I could have waved “Starkov” not being “Starkova,” “Nazyalensky” not being “Nazyalenskaya,”  and “Safin” not being “Safina” as an American interpretation (since in America, the names do not femininize). However, “Mozorova” as a man is unfathomable and suggests to me the author just doesn’t understand how names work, which is a bit... uh okay considering a simple google search gets you to understand Russian names. They aren’t hard. I cannot understand why the show did not fix this. It is so simple to fix and would be a major way to help the story’s overall... caricature of Russia. 

Speaking of that... Ravka is supposedly Russian-based, but it is more accurately based on the stereotypes of what Americans think of Russia. Amerussia? Russica? Not great. 

The royals are exactly what Americans think of the Romanovs, right down to the “greasy” “spiritual advisor” who is clearly Rasputin and which ignores the Romanov history, very real tragedy, and the reason Rasputin was present in the court. The religion with all its saints is a vapid reflection of Russian Orthodoxy. The military portrayal with its lotteries and brutality and war is how the US views the Russian military. The emphasis on orphans, constant starvation, classification, and children being ripped from their homes to serve the government is a classic US understanding of USSR communism right down to the USSR having weapons of destruction the rest of the world fears (Grisha). Not trying to defend the Soviet Union here at all, but it is simplistic and reductive and probably done unconsciously but still ehhhh. 

However, I’m not Russian. I just studied Russian literature. I’ve seen very little by way of discussion of this topic online, but what I do see from Russian people has been mixed--some mind, some don’t. The reality is that I actually don’t really mind this because it’s fantasy, though I see why some do. I'm not like CANCEL THIS. So why am I talking about this beyond just having a pet peeve?

Well, because it is a valid critique, and because it doesn’t occur in a vacuum. The Grishaverse is heralded as an almost paragon for woke Young Adult literature, which underlines itself what so frustrates me about how literary circles discuss issues of diversity and culture. Such praise, while ignoring its quasi-caricature of Russia, reflects a very ethnocentric (specifically American) understanding of culture, appropriation, and representation. All stories are products of their culture to various extents, but it bothers me on principle what the lit community reacts (and overreacts sometimes?) to and what people give a pass to. The answer to what the community reacts to and what it gives a pass always pivots on how palatable the appropriation is to American understandings and sensibilities. There’s nuance here as well, though. 

I'm not cancelling the story or thinking it should be harshly attacked for this, but it is something that can be discussed and imo should be far more often--but with the nuance it begs, instead of black/white. But that’s a tall ask. 

[chihirolovebot]

HELLO! Okay, first, just finished reading the new chapter of Sleep Awake and AAA, I loved it so so so much! HONESTLY HOW DO YOU THIS? Congrats so so much on everything!!! Happy anniversary, and to many more!

Second, ahem- so I feel awkward asking questions like this… but I honestly was kinda wondering if you have advice for writers…? Not specific advice I guess, but just tips for how to actually stay motivated and focused to write, how to make things not seem rushed, how to plan things, idk, anything. You’re just so good at writing and I have nobody else to ask (lol imagine having no friends 😀).

Enjoy your day and rest easy, you deserve it. :)

-Aiko

AHHH thank u so much!! im very happy u enjoyed!!

the truth is, a lot of my motivation comes from my adhd and the fact that i hyperfixate on stuff. when i started sleep awake, i didn't have any kind of schedule or even really a plan — my updates in the beginning were extremely frequent because i had a few goals in mind that i wanted to get to. now it's a lot more like planning a real story with arcs and an independent plot, which is why updates are much less frequent. motivation has just never really been an issue with me — but i have struggled with motivation on a lot of my other works, so i get what you mean.

for me, i stick with sleep awake because i just love it. i think it's good to have a few solid ideas to base a story around — a specific scene or plot point you want to get to, something to build the story around. maybe you want a conversation between two characters, or you want character a to do something to character b and character c to find out about it. stuff like that really kept me going and made filling out the gaps in between te scenes i want a lot easier.

i can't stress this enough — plan your story!! it can be as detailed or nondescript as you like, but at least make a skeleton. in this plan, PUT IN THE SCENES YOU WANT TO WRITE!! stuff that motivates you!! and then fill in the gaps. that's the way i do it and it's what works for me. chapter 3 of the game specifically took a lotttt of planning because it's so canon-divergent - i remember i had to write out the whole murder scene, a plan for the trial, the truth bullets. planning stuff out like this also helps immensely with setting things up so they don't seem rushed!!

i try to sort of separate my story into 'segments', aka the chapters of the game, with each segment having a different role and arc for the reader. this way i can set up what their goal is going to be ahead of time — take the reader being suspected of rantaro's murder, for example. i made a plan for this to happen around when i was writing the fourth or fifth chapter of the story, so i could begin setting up the events that would lead everyone to the conclusion of suspecting the reader (like having miu send them to the warehouse where the shotput balls are, having shuichi think they overhead him and kaede's plan to catch the mastermind, a lot of little details that ended up making them look super guilty in the trial).

planning is super essential and i am Not a writer who plans. ever. i literally didn't make a plan for this story until like chapter five. now i do it before every chapter — i establish what the reader's arc will be this chapter, how it differs and grows from the last one, how their relationships with each character will change. knowing your plot points ahead of writing them gives you so much time to set them up so they conclude satisfyingly!!

WHEW okay this got. incredibly long and most of it is word-vomit but i hope it helped a little!! and remember what works for me may not work for you. BUT i wish u a lot of luck in ur writing, and i hope this could be of some help?? at all??

i hope u have a good day too!! rest ur mind and eat well and drink water <33