#he kinda looks like 5'9 to me now for whatever reason

[blackrevell]

Also, guess who is a smoker. Casually lighting up a cig while the entirety of Barghest is on edge running around this dumpster on fire.

[velvetvexations]

If the parallels to ace discourse weren't enough already, now I once again have to deal with people i thought were chill and reasonable suddenly dropping their takes on how they think asexua- sorry, I mean trans men, are not really oppressed and actually have privilege over everyone else and are basically not queer at all Time is a circle and i want out out oUT OUT OUT

Thankfully you never have to worry about me having a bad take because everything I say is written in advance by the Transmasc Council's Chief of Enacting Transmisogyny.

I don’t know if this is transmisogynistic or not but I’m just so tired of the claim that “the moment a trans man transitions and is seen as a man, he gets all the privilege” Okay TRFs, what about YOUR privilege before YOUR transition? When people perceived you as a man, did you not have privilege?

The logic would go that transmascs get it because they want to be seen as men but for trans women it's an unwanted state and also people can sense that they're women telepathically and treat them accordingly anyway.

Hey wanna hear something fun. Out of the 77 or so people elected to public office in the united states, 6 or so were trans men. With the majority being trans women. It's so fun hearing about how structurally privileged trans men are compared to trans women when there's only been 6. Fucking SIX. of us elected to public office. with at LEAST 50 trans women elected. In the united states. I'm so fucking tired. I mightve miscounted, there mightve been one or two that I missed, but honestly that does not bring me much comfort!

Fascinating.

sharing this here bc i like how accepting velvet nation is of gender journeys: i am a trans man but i feel like i very much was and will continue to be my father’s daughter? not in the sense that he doesn’t respect who i am but in the sense that that is the framework of how we understand each other. my gender is 100% man and daughter is simply the word i use to define our relationship :)

That's really cool! Glad you have that with him.

Got my first profile-screenshot-share (afaik) because someone was pissed at a comment I made! I’ve hit the big leagues! Now im just waiting for my first drowning :P - @genderglass (is a sideblog, so I can’t send asks from it :/)

Congratulations!

hiya velvet! ok 2 things: 1 i am happy to know there is another trans person who is tall and 300lbs+. i am only 5'9 but it made me happy to know this is a thing we share. i can feel v alone as a bigger trans person a lot, so i am grateful. 2 ok so i havent seen unsleeping city yet but i just watched the new time quangle and my god murph grew cody walsh in a lab for me. hes literally me at 12. jersey native with an "emo haunting anime cons in 2004" look and personality? that was literally, genuinely me. gotta watch that season ASAP!

I should warn you Cody gets dunked on pretty hard. It doesn't feel to me like Murph likes him very much lol but I haven't watched the Quangles because I'm a lot less interested in live stuff on average aside from Jake and Amir's live IIWY episodes which are always real funny.

In the defense of the person saying the t4t sex jokes are sexual harassment. I HAVE seen people responding to transfems posts on here talking about (supposed) intercommunity problems with jokes about how actually transfems and transmascs are having sex or whatever, which I think is kinda gross and inappropriate. However, most of the examples I can think of were transfems doing it, so.... take that as you will

TRFs complaining about "trans women and trans men are fucking" being sexual harassment and then justifying throwing their forcefem fetish at random men is funny, in a cosmic sort of way.

i just saw -*- say that trans men face no oppression unique from trans women (wrt reproductive rights) bc trans women lack access to reproductive banking. Buddy. Reproductive banking is incredibly expensive and very rarely covered by insurance. Everyone except wealthy ppl lack access to reproductive banking. And I'm sorry if this is rude to say but lack of access to the opportunity to become a parent (which is sad! and wrong! and at different levels applicable to every queer person in the world!) is simply not equivalent to forced pregnancy, which is a violence and a trauma forced onto someone and not a *lack* of opportunity. I don't even disagree necessarily that trans women are more vulnerable than trans men and do believe I have privilege over trans women as a trans masc but hoooooly shit. That's an insidious fucking false equivalence and I still don't get *why* trans mascs can't just have space to talk about the problems unique to us.

The Transfem Council will happily let you talk about your issues as long as you submit your statement in triplicate to their editorial department 15 days in advance.

Everyone posting about how I have to prove myself and earn their trust is just proving themselves to be someone not worth talking to. I don’t think people should have to bend over backwards or do something to prove that they won’t be terrible to you, actually. Thats fear and trauma speaking, not social courtesy. It’s not normal and should not be normal to automatically distrust everyone to a point of prematurely ostracizing them. And if anyone wants to argue a large enough proportion of the trans community in ANY demographic acts poorly enough to warrant that sort of suspicion they don’t have a leg to stand on.

It's not even fear and trauma. Most of them are just using Literal Fear of Man as an excuse to do this shit, although if they want to argue no, they really are all just shaking with abject horror whenever a man draws near, I guess they must believe in Andro Phobia, right?

[misc-obeyme]

hihi I'm back again, and here to ask who in the cast you think has the skill to do hair/up do's?

I'm 5'9, but my hair is now down to my mid thigh, and like around three feet long ?? I haven't chopped it since 2018, only trimmed it. Yet I only know how to do a simple braid, my hair basically lives in a low ponytail lol (though my mom will still do my hair if I ask her for help, which I'm grateful for)

anyway I got to read vol 2 of the manga and I remembered that the artist drew their interpretation of Lilith. So, it made me wonder if Beel or Belphie would know how to do hair, since they were the closest to her, and if she ever asked them for help?

I think Levi would be able to follow any tutorial, or figure out how to do something by trial and error since he cosplays (I bet he made his ruri-chan wig himself). I'd love to show him a picture of the heroine from whatever anime I'm watching and ask if he could help me recreate their style

Asmo we've seen in the dame cards, he's done some cute hairstyles!! I bet I could go to him if I had a fancy event.

I still think about Mammon's dame card... The chokehold it has on me is wild. We saw him do his own make-up in the art, and I think it was said he made his own outfit. So he's a maybe I could go to him? Or he'd put a lot of effort into learning because he knows it'd make me happy lolol

Barbatos also looks really pretty in the dame card !! I haven't read that devilgram, so idk if he did it himself, but what can't he do? I know in TTWF devilgram he literally makes MC's outfit and it made me SWOON

my last thought is if you can just do stuff with magic instead. Does it drain your energy to keep the style, or is it a one and done kinda spell, and don't gotta worry about it? Could a really powerful sorcerer change their hair color, and never have to worry about it fading? That'd be really cool, since I need to re dye the streaks in my hair. That would save lots of money LOL

okay I'm done 😅 time to wait ten billion years for my hair to dry now and try drawing (aiming for every other day to create something new to get better!!)

- ✨ anon

HOW do you handle having hair that long?!?

I'm 5'7" and I used to have my hair down to my low back. It was during the pandemic when I couldn't exactly go get it cut, so I just let it grow lol. And it grows dang fast, but I don't think I've ever had it past the low back area??? Do you accidentally sit on it sometimes? Or is it usually okay because you have it tied back?

All I know is I was so relieved to chop it all off lol! It's super short now, which is how I like it. It takes me ten minutes to wash and style it. I just don't have the patience to maintain it when it's long. And it's naturally curly, so having it short also means I can just let it curl and not worry about it. Ah but I am pretty envious because I always wanted to be able to have one of those really long, thick braids...

Anyway, getting off topic here, back to the question! I do think magic can be used to alter hair! I think sometimes you can get stuff that's temporary (I do believe there was a daily chat about this where Asmo put some kind of potion or something on Lucifer and Mammon?), but I would be surprised if there wasn't some kind of magic spell to permanently keep your hair whatever color you want. I think it's probably just a one and done situation so you wouldn't have to maintain it. Or at least, they'd want to develop something like that because otherwise it wouldn't be worth it right?

As for the characters, I agree with your assessments! I do think in a general sense, they'd all try their best to do your hair if you needed them to.

But as for who would already be capable without having to learn first, I think Asmo is a top contender. Barb can absolutely do anything and I don't doubt that styling hair is something a good butler should know.

I think Levi is another good option for the same reasons you said! I think he probably does have some skill at wig styling! And due to his ability to do costuming in general, I kinda think he'd be able to do a good job on real hair as well if he wanted to.

I love the idea of Beel and Belphie being good at it because of Lilith. Like I'm imagining they only know some really basic styles that were her favorites, but they're happy to do them for you any time. Maybe they get a little misty eyed while doing it because it reminds them of her so much. Awww...

I actually think Lucifer would do a good job, too, but expect to be sitting around for hours because he's gonna make sure no hair is out of place. Only perfection will suffice.

I think Mammon probably mastered whatever style he needed for his dame outfit, but I do think he would learn for you if you wanted him to.

Satan probably already learned from a book or maybe just from watching Asmo doing his hair. But I could see him wanting to do really elaborate styles or maybe using magic to style your hair.

I think Solomon would also be someone you could try, but he would absolutely use magic. I think if you really wanted him to, he would know how to do simple styles by hand. I could see him being really happy to carefully braid your hair by hand. But he wouldn't be able to resist a little bit of magic, maybe to give it an extra sparkle or a streak of color~ I think he'd develop all kinds of hair styling magic if you wanted him to lol.

Diavolo strikes me as willing but perhaps not the best at this particular thing... he doesn't exactly have experience with his own hair.

And I'm not sure about Simeon. I feel like he's pretty competent (except for technology obviously), so he would probably be able to learn how to do it fairly easily. But I don't know if he'd already have some knowledge. Same with Raphael. Though I love the idea of both of them like... doing the hair of little angels~

Mephisto would know about a bunch of fancy Devildom styles, but would he be able to do them? I think you might end up with your hair braided like a horse's mane instead.

Thirteen would know how to do everything. She's got her own long hair and there's no way that she hasn't experimented with it over the years! I love the idea of her doing your hair and her own hair in the same style so you match.

Anyway, I hope you have been able to get some drawing done! Every other day is an excellent goal! I'm rooting for you!!

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #160

I had a LOT of social today. But it was very good, I think.

I made a wonderful friend at the gathering of poly folks (if you remember!) and we'll call him E! E has a wife called H, and a partner K, and the three of them invited me along with them to a mall that is some distance from my house, because E wanted to get some pretty clothing from the lingerie store! He found some things that I think will look super amazing on him! I hope they fit well and that he ends up liking what he bought!

…I won't make pretend like it wasn't difficult for me to simply walk into a store like that one. Most places that make stuff like this… they're not usually made for proportions like mine. I don't look like the mannequins that these things are usually sewn for. And rationally, I understand there's nothing wrong with that; humans are supposed to come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes, after all. I love all the shapes that all the living things come in… except for my own. And… the dislike of my own shape has nothing to do with its shape. Rather, it has more to do with the fact that it's mine, and the fact that I live in a culture that demands we all hate our own shape, no matter what that shape is.

I reached my full height when I was like 12, but I didn't even begin developing adult characteristics until I was around 16, for whatever reason. So if you can imagine a version of me that was around 5'9"/175.25cm and only 120lb/54.4kg… that's what I was. I was malnourished in those days; you could count my ribs without much effort. I have a long time of being called "pathetically flat-chested", "beanpole", and "pebbles" (derived from the phrase, "boulder-holders for your shoulders") by my father, my stepmother, and the kids at school. I have memories of being called disgusting by my stepmother for being skinny and mostly shapeless. And I have memories of her telling me, "someday you're gonna get fat and you'll be just as disgusting then, too."

…Well. She was right about one thing. I am 60lb/27.2kg heavier now than I was back in those days. I am soft and kinda chubby. And although rationally I understand that the shape that I have now is as good as any other shape that exists (because all living things are living-thing-shaped, and all living things are good), I still struggle with the sense of shame that was ground into me since I was a young girl, and I still struggle with the fear of being on the receiving end of verbal or social violence from other people for what I look like.

The culture in which I live tends to viciously shame any human with any amount of body fat. But at the same time, it also tends to viciously shame any human who is skinny. Humans in my world get shamed for not conforming to the "beauty standards" that exist here, but at the same time, if you do happen to conform to those "standards", people will shame you because then they assume you're "stupid" or "shallow" or "vain". And I don't know how that can be. It's as though the only "acceptable" shape of a human in my world is one that matches the plastic ones that clothing stores like to demonstrate their products on. But even then, if you conform to that shape, people are still angry at you. It's very confusing!

The ladies working at the store were not like this, though. They were very nice, actually. They looked at my shape and they didn't tell me that it's bad. They didn't tell me that I should try a different store. I found something I liked, but they didn't have it in stock. So they asked me what my measurements were, so that way I could order it from the store's website for delivery.

But… given my upbringing, I hadn't really known what my size was at all; neither of my female adult overlords went over how to select things for myself or how to know what size I am or any of that; mostly in those days, it was "hurry the fuck up" and "your chest is too small to need a good bra; this is what you're getting, now let's go." So up until this point, I had been making do with things made for sports or things that are ill-fitting. But… the nice ladies didn't make me feel stupid for not knowing what fits me. Instead, they took my measurements, and that was… interesting. It was interesting to consider the notion that I was worth that kind of time and effort.

So then, in order to confirm that their measurements were correct, they went and fetched some things for me to try on. And I tried them, and they didn't feel terrible, and that was also very interesting. And do you know what else? They told me I looked very pretty. And you know? Today, for at least a little while, I was able to believe them. Today at least, I looked in the changing room mirror and I didn't feel revulsion at what I saw. Now I know my measurements for certain kinds of clothing. I can use that information if I find pretty things that will fit me properly.

But when I went home and got on the website, I hesitated. Historically, I do not get any clothing for myself unless I'm forced to, due to something I own wearing out. Ordinarily, I'll go for years and years in between buying 1 or 2 clothing items. And… I still had some lingering doubts about whether or not I was "worth" getting comfy, pretty things in my size, given how I'm shaped; I have all these messages in my head from so many people telling me that the structural composition of my body is somehow a moral failing on my part instead of a function of my genetics. And that's very lame.

…So I defied the conditioning and I got the things. Because it is getting hot outside, and because, like any human being, I am already worth having comfortable things to wander around my house in, without needing to worry about what might happen if my neighbors are peering through my windows. I am already worth being comfortable. I am already worth feeling good in my own skin. We all are. And unless I take the steps to challenge the conditioning that tells me differently, I won't get good at knowing in my bones that I am worth something regardless of what I'm shaped like. Sometimes there is no easy way out of conditioning; sometimes you just gotta be brave and defy the old, destructive thing even if your brain is trying to make you feel ashamed and afraid.

…I wonder if you ever struggle with insecurities about your own appearance. I hope not; maybe your world is different from mine in that it's less concerned with people's bodily composition. But then again, maybe it's not different - after all, we all saw how Don Corneo is with women. And we know how your culture views modified humans as "monsters", which is some lame-ass horseshit. So if you do have your own set of insecurities about yourself, I'll hope that you'll put in the work to overcome them.

Hey, Sephiroth? If you had your choice of clothing, instead of whatever Shinra makes you wear, what would you pick? I think that colorful, bright things would suit you nicely, of course, but the most important thing to consider when it comes to selecting clothing is how comfortable YOU feel in it. Whatever you wear should, ideally, help you to feel more at home in your own skin. What would you feel at home in? Have you thought about it? And are you brave enough to make sure you have access to things that you would feel at home in? I wonder...

Anyway, I also got a rainbow butterfly cape, because I thought it was nifty! Check it out:

...It's super colorful!!! I love it!!! I'm gonna wear it tomorrow, just because!!!

I also have a few pictures of some cats I made friends with today, because after the mall, I went to the house of a different friend, who had lots of other friends over at the same time. This is Oliver (right) and Freya (left):

As you can see, they are both very cute!

...The nice thing about cats is that they don't care about what you look like; they only care about how safe they feel in your presence. I try hard to be someone that other living things can feel safe around. One of the best ways to become safe for others to be around is to become safe for yourself to be around first. I work on that every day with every self-destructive thought or habit that I challenge.

Well. That's probably all for today. I hope you'll think about defying whatever conditioning you have that says you should not love yourself. I'm certainly going to do my best to defy mine. Please try to remember that you are already worthy of feeling comfortable in your own skin.

I love you. I'll write again tomorrow. So please stay safe...

Your friend, Lumine

[starlitangels]

I love hearing how everyone imagines the characters, how do you perceive them in your head?

For me, David is half Asian with the fluffiest black hair you’ll ever see. Asher has blond hair, and I associate him with Sam from stardew valley. Milo is hispanic, short black hair and tan skin, standing at a proud 5’5.

Ohhhhh, Anon. Nonnie. I have typed up and deleted posts about how I imagine the boys 3 times XD

Here's the thing about my brain: it's very sound-oriented. Some people have a photographic memory and can remember the things they see, like, perfectly. My brain has a strong visual imagination, but I can remember sounds almost perfectly. I can memorize voices and make them say things in my head that the person said voice belongs to has never said. But my sound-based memory is tied to my visual imagination pretty tightly. I didn't choose how I imagined the boys. They sprang fully-formed out of my imagination and all attempts to change my mental image fail.

Erik (Redacted) is a white guy. And he sounds like a white guy. So most of his characters in my head are white guys.

David, for whatever reason, looks a lot like my husband in my head. Just taller and a lot more muscular. (I married a tall skinny beanpole but David is 6'4" in my head and my husband is 6') I describe Davey in one-shots as having bright green eyes, but when I listen to his audios I see my husband's grey eyes looking at me. He's got the same neutral-undertoned, stick-straight, somewhat dark brown hair my husband has, and is about the same in terms of skin tone. Pretty dang pale in the winter, but tans like you wouldn't believe in the summer (I'm mildly jealous of how well my husband tans, but he gets paler than I do in the winter).

David's wolf form is pitch black. Completely. That's why I describe him with green eyes, even if I imagine him with grey. The green looks better on the black wolf in my head.

(I can alter their wolf-form appearances in my head. Just not their human forms)

Now, Asher acts a lot like my husband so you'd think he'd be the one who looks like him, right? Apparently not. Asher has somewhat curly black hair and brown eyes. But brown in a way that they're more the amber of a wolf's eyes. You know how some dogs and wolves have, like, that gold/yellow tone to their brown eyes? That's Asher's eye color. He is also the ambiguously tan in my head of "may be biracial, maybe just tans real good and never loses it." He's still pretty tall in my head, between 6' and 6'2", and he's toned but not bulky. He's got muscle but he's still pretty slim.

Asher's wolf form is grey with black, and that spot over his left eye and ear from his logo is also black.

Asher and Damien look almost the exact same in my head (don't ask why, I don't know) but we're just keeping this to the Shaw pack bois or I'm gonna be here all night

Milo, for whatever reason, has shoulder-length red hair that curls at the ends. And freckles. Because he's kinda pale. I don't know why. He also has grey eyes. He's average height. I know a lot of people see him as short, but I don't. I see him around 5'9" or 5'10", but because he's always standing next to Asher and David, he seems short by comparison. He's really not that short in my head. He's the least muscular but he still has a bit of tone.

And because he's a redhead that I can't shake, his wolf form is rust-colored with a bit of tan (mostly mixed in at his chest and behind his ears).

[leia-imogen]

aaron & the family he's found all by himself; vol. 2 // vol. 1

( ft. short jokes, a belated birthday shopping trip, & an ultra-chaotic winter break )

( for @criswisstuff & anyone who enjoyed the first one <3 )

savannah, who is 5'9, is constantly teasing aaron and cleo for being short. katelyn's good at 5'6, and also a bit impossible to tease bcs she's the actual best, so she gets to escape this

cleo ( 5'2 ) is perfectly delighted to have someone shorter than her for once in her life, even by only 2 inches

aaron: guys, just try and see this from my point of view

sav: [ collapses ]

katelyn: [ crouches down ]

cleo: [ sits cross-legged on floor ]

aaron: dude you're literally 2 inches taller than me

cleo: 2 and a quarter

sav is so smug about this but in a good-natured way, in that she and cleo call aaron "kid" or "kiddo" or "pipsqueak" and he doesn't mind bcs they always say it w such a huge smile and he likes to respond to sav with "how's the weather up there, tall-ass?"

and katelyn thinks it's ridiculously adorable how tiny aaron is and obviously she uses him as an armrest all the time

katelyn, petting aaron's hair: guys guys omg he's like an angsty mini blond kitten and i would kill for him <3

sav, popping up between them: mini-yard :))

before i get super distracted, i just wanna mention that aaron met sav and cleo towards the end of november, so they missed the twin's birthday

but sav still insists that she must take him shopping bcs sure his fashion sense is fine but there's always room for improvement, isn't there, aaron??

he relents, so long as she and cleo and katelyn ( who already gave him a birthday present?? why's she doing this??? ) don't spend too much money

sav drags him all around south carolina to the best thrift stores she can find and cleo and katelyn are amazed that she can get such fantastic deals on the supermodel clothes she wears

fr she's literally a fashion design major ( + minoring in business management ) and she shows up to class in skilfully done drugstore makeup and an absolutely killer outfit for like 15 bucks

she grew up poor, and she's still poor now, even if she ( thankfully ) managed to scrape a cheerleading scholarship

sav, flicking through a rack of dresses labelled $4 apiece: RIP to little miss rich bitch reynolds but i'm different ;)

no hate to allison she's awesome but she grew up in the lap of luxury surrounded by designer brands so she knows NOTHING about thrifting and rationing money in general

oh and sav and allison have kind of a frenemies thing going on bcs they're both fighting for the top spot of their fashion design course

they spend the whole day shopping and aaron ends up with a highly upgraded wardrobe that contains a lot of cute pastel stuff and sav's promise to do his makeup

aaron insists on paying for dinner at the really nice pizza place a short drive from campus even tho they all protest

and andrew knows he's found new friends, but has no idea that it's the vixens and he's dating one of them. nicky does tho, but he's sworn to secrecy

nicky thinks his new clothes are adorable and is stunned when aaron tells him the total cost

"oh my GOD that girl sounds like a genius."

"yeah, her name's sav. you guys,, would get along, i think."

okay now for the winter break part!!

i think that you can get permission to stay at dorms if you're an international student or something??

anyways since sav's super upset bcs her father straight-up told her not to come home bcs he has a new girlfriend ( god i hate sav's father )

katelyn would stay with her, but her dad can finally have her home in new york for christmas and she really doesn't want to miss it

cleo, the only one with a properly functional family, is going back to her big family house and loving parents and grandma and aunt and siblings and cousins. love that for her.

so aaron and sav are stuck at psu for 2 weeks and aaron's surprisingly cool with this. and sav's excited bcs for the first time since her mom died, she can spend her christmas with someone she actually wants around instead of her shitty-ass father and his constant stream of bitchy girlfriends

they spend a lot of time together, stealing food from the athlete's dining hall to make their own weird combos, which usually ends with aaron making something Cool and Interesting and sav gagging and spitting out whatever strange concoction she had previously insisted would taste good

i literally can't bring myself to give a shit about the twinyards' deal bcs andrew literally became best friends with renee?? and hooks up with guys at eden’s??? idk what's going on there but it's like andrew is trying to control aaron's life while he can do whatever he wants??? and honestly wtf????

also let me just make it clear that i ADORE andrew so so much he's one of my favourite comfort characters ever but i'm not gonna make excuses for his shitty behaviour. i fully believe he heals and puts away his pride to apologise to aaron, nicky, and kevin for his treatment of them

that's definitely not to say that aaron's internalised homophobia isn't eww, but with so many important people in his life gay, he makes a huge effort to get over it

so andrew just thinks that aaron is spending a lot of time in the library or out with nicky or something

and when aaron tells sav about this deal, she's kinda horrified, but it's pretty clear to her that aaron so desperately wants to fix his relationship with his brother, and she's not in any place to discourage him, is she?

the only thing she can do is hope that he won't come out all the worse for it

and stare at the boy curled up on the other end of the pale pink sofa cleo's parents had gotten, wonder just how much shit he'd been put through, and decide she was going to be his best friend

aaron's face has gone entirely impassive. sav nudges his fluffy-socked foot with her own, then reaches out to smooth the crease between his eyebrows. "careful, you'll wrinkle your pretty little face."

aaron is very caught off guard by this, and very promptly flushes bright red, which contrasts with the pale teal hoodie he stole from katelyn

"okay, enough talk about depressing crap. wanna go make christmas cookies now?"

"yeah."

so they make christmas cookies. well, it was supposed to be christmas cookies, but it turns into double chocolate fudge cookies somewhere along the line. neither of them knows how

them baking together is the definition of chaos. they're still blasting songs, and sav is singing along terribly

"yOu'Re A mEaN oNe, Mr. GrInCh," while poking aaron's cheek as he tries to mix something. he throws a handful of flour at her. "yOu ReAlLy ArE A hEel."

anyways obviously sav retaliates and that ends in a flour fight. it only stops when aaron deadass cracks an egg on sav's head and she smears chocolate into his hair

she also tries to make him sing along to baby, it's cold outside

"i'Ve GoT tO Go `wAAyyy~" she holds a spatula up to his face

"go away."

they video call katelyn, who takes one look at the mess in the cramped dorm kitchen and sighs so loudly and dramatically that her dad pops in and asks if everything's okay

aaron freezes up at the sight of him and sav quickly turns off the camera, bcs they both want to make good impressions on him, and being covered in various cookie ingredients just won't cut it, ya know?

the cookies turn out delicious and sav sends all their group chat various photos of the process, most of which consist of selfies with her making goofy faces while aaron is simultaneously baking and flipping off the camera

plus a several videos of sav enthusiastically dancing and mouthing the lyrics of, as follows, all i want for christmas is you, let it snow, and santa claus is coming to town and aggressively pointing a spatula at aaron

"c'mon aari, just sing! please??? please???? please you can do it i believe in you!!"

finally he just. gives up. "okay, you know what? fine, i'll sing to ONE and then you will STOP bothering me you insolent dumbass."

sav beams. santa baby starts playing. aaron is very clearly going through five stages of grief in 0.5 seconds

"go on," sav says sweetly as she slides in next to a pouting aaron, "i'll sing with you."

sav slings an arm around his shoulder and sways with him, so it's just her doing that and him grumpily mumbling the lyrics

and when the cookies are cooling down, they start cleaning the kitchen up. aaron rubs some spilled egg yolk into sav's hair but it goes pretty okay otherwise, since they're just listening to more christmas songs and chatting about light stuff, like aaron's biochem course, sav's fashion course, and their dumb classmates

aaron mostly listens tho, and learns that sav kind of hates allison reynolds for giving up her inheritance when she would do ANYTHING for even the tiniest fraction of that money

but she still thinks allison's gorgeous bcs c'mon

and that sav's dream is to one day open her own boutique!!

aaron spends most of the actual christmas day with the monsters at eden's bcs nicky and andrew wanted to

he spent a lot of the time texting on their group chat

doessavvyisgay: so u just go to a nightclub every week??

unaliveme: i mean yeah, i literally worked here for a while. we needed money and nicky was already working 2 jobs night and day

actualblessing: babe ur backstory is so tragic

unaliveme: i'm a fox for a reason ig

cleo.magda: Yes but-

doessavvyisgay renamed this conversation "aaron miniyard support group"

unaliveme: oh ffs

unaliveme: sav subject change go

doessavvyisgay: i'm at the clothes store what should i get?

actualblessing: something pretty :)

doessavvyisgay: sorry, i can't buy the cashier

cleo.magda: Wow.

doessavvyisgay: I DID GET HER NUMBER THO

unaliveme: lmaooo what's her name?

doessavvyisgay: uh

unaliveme: savannah istg u don't even know her name??

actualblessing: s a v

actualblessing: damn u really do be turning on the Charm tho

actualblessing: respect i didn't even talk to aaron till i asked him for notes bcs he has rly pretty notes and also a rly pretty face

actualblessing: and even then i was like :0

unaliveme: IT WAS CUTE I PROMISE

doessavvyisgay: u 2 = the only valid heterosexual couple

actualblessing: rt

unaliveme: oh shit i'm getting super drunk

cleo.magda: Aaron, you drink? That's not legal, get out of there right now. Kids these days-

unaliveme: cleo u have literally seen me get drunk af,, the first time we met,,, and anyways this is how my family bonds ✌🏻

doessavvyisgay: that's. so damn weird kiddo but go off ig

actualblessing: no go find better things to bond about other than alcohol and weird sweaty dancing

cleo.magda: Yeah, go watch some Christmas movies!

unaliveme: nicky makes us watch die hard every year

doessavvyisgay: see u in hell, kiddo ;)

cleo.magda: I meant things like The Polar Express and Home Alone.

actualblessing: merry christmas ya filthy animals!!

doessavvyisgay: merry xmas y'all i'm gonna go to that christmas party bcs i'm super bored

unaliveme: merry christmas mothers and fuckers

cleo.magda: Merry Christmas, you guys!

[shihaikuroiro-vantablack]

Warmth of another SpinnerDabi

So since some people ship these two, I decided to make a ship story/fanfic of Spinner and Dabi! Um don’t judge me for my bad writing, I’m not good at this kinda stuff haha. I hope you guys like the read!

Some villains have seen the worst of heroes. They've seen how the heroes would treat others that they see as 'lower' or wrong, in someway. Spinner had been judged based off his looks for all his life, and thought he was worthless for so long until he met Stain! Well... he didn't mean him, per say, he did learn about him though, and he finally decided that this was his new meaning; he was going to become the new Stain and show the world just how bad they were! The heroes that were supposed to save and protect people were often the ones that left the others all alone when they needed help the most.

Dabi knew that well. He was hurt, abused, pushed down and almost killed by his father. It made him lose his memory for a while, not that the others of the league of villains knew about that, they didn't even know his real name! Not that Dabi wanted anyone to know his real name just yet. It was going to happen, just not now. His father hurt him and left him, threw him to the side when he decided that Dabi wasn't worth the trouble of training anymore.

All the heroes think that they're the best things ever, but where were they when these people were just children who needed saving? Who needed a hero?! They were gone, away, getting fame elsewhere. Most of them only cared about money or the attention, which is why some of the villains decided they wanted to take out the symbol of peace so all the others could feel just how they felt. Lost, confused, and scared.

Course they weren't planning the fall of heroes all the time, sometimes they needed time to relax or just time to calm down after a big battle, you know? They're planning something big though! Right now? Not really. Toga was hanging out with Twice, doing each others makeups with stuff they stole a bit ago and Spinner was sitting on the couch, sharpening his sword while Shigaraki was playing a game and Spinner was watching over his shoulder "If you duck under that bridge, you can find an Easter egg" Shigaraki's eyes shoot over to look at the lizard and makes a small tsh sound, but does do it and chuckles a little at the literal egg under the bridge. Easter egg... he likes that.

Everyone else was doing their own things. Mr. Compress working on magic tricks, showing them off to Kurogiri and Magne since Spinner was pretty damn sure that Compress had a crush on them both... god damn bi icon.

Speaking of an icon. Dabi walks into the hideout, smoke raising from his arms and he reaches up rubbing his neck, yawning out. As he opened his mouth, the skin being held together by his stitches stretched, making a cold shiver go down Spinner's spine. He always hated seeing Dabi yawn, it just made him think his skin was going to break or something! Come on, that's gross. Sure, he could lick his own eyes because of his quirk but he didn't do that... often... shut up.

Dabi walks over to the second couch and falls down on it his face hidden in the pillow, his legs over the arm of the couch his boots hanging down. The faint smell of smoke and fire could be smelt on him, which sorta made sense. Oh and also the smell of burnt flesh yeah, that’s kinda gross but still made sense. Shigaraki looks over at Dabi and makes a small sound of annoyance "You stink" he says.

"So do your plans, but I don't say anything" came Dabi's quick reply, which was just a little muffled. He most likely went out and burned some people like he did often, he said it was because he liked burning trash which Spinner honestly found really cool! He was such a cool guy. Now you could ask Spinner, did you have a crush on Dabi? The answer? Yes. He also had a crush on Shigaraki but he wasn't really looking for someone at the moment plus spinner didn't even know if Shigaraki could, you know, fall for someone. He couldn't even tell if Dabi could. He was a hard person to read.

Shigaraki narrows his eyes at Dabi, tightening his grip on his game while making sure not to decay it on accident. Kurogiri looks over and sighs shaking his head, or at least that's what it looked like, and he says "You two, no fighting in the building. If I have to replace the couch again one of you two will have to pay for it this time" even though he could just open a portal but still! Shigaraki just huffs, focusing on the game again starting to press the buttons. 

With that it went back to being silent other than Toga and Twice chatting, along with the three, Mr. Compress and the other two, also chatting. Spinner went back to sharpening his blades getting lost in thought looking at Dabi out of the corner of his eyes. He didn't really try to stare, he promised! It was just that Dabi was pretty cool looking with that cool jacket, the shiny staples, the cool black hair and those boots that had such a high platform part! Wait... what? He turns his head to look at Dabi looking a little confused, his sharpening coming to a still. Had he always worn boots like that? What's with that platform part? That looks like it would make him taller?

As he thought, he didn't realize he was staring until Dabi turns his head and their eyes meet as he hums "You need something lizard?" he asked, not sounding annoyed but not really calm either. He sounded mostly bored. 

Spinner narrows his eyes, huffing and says "It's Spinner! I'm not a lizard, you don't see me calling you fire person or something, right?"

Dabi stares at him blinking a few seconds, silent then responds "my name means cremation, you're literally calling me burning" he stands up and starts to walk down the hallway, covering his mouth with his hand, yawning again "anyway, I'm going to my room. If you need me, don't" he then shuts the door behind him with a light slam. 

Spinner grumbles turning his head down and Toga skips over "he seems in a good mood" she starts "I wonder if he saw something that made him happy? That would be great!" she puts her hands up to her mouth, giggling "I wonder if he killed some people" she hummed happily. Spinner rolls his eyes at her, but smiles anyway. He offered to sharpen her knife for her, while she sat down beside Shigaraki leaning against him watching him play the game, Twice walking over to join them leaning over the back of the couch holding his arms around Shigaraki's neck. He was just ignoring the two of them it seemed. He normally didn't like being touched but that was mostly just when he was in one of his moods.

During that time though, Spinner couldn't stop thinking about the thing he saw. Those boots... did that mean Dabi wasn't really that tall? How tall would he be? Spinner himself was 5'8 and from what he's seen, Dabi was 5'9 plus some just the same as Shigaraki. They were some of the taller people in the league, other than Mr. Compress, he’s pretty tall! With all these thoughts he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to sleep. Ugh.

It seemed as though he was correct, as he was laying in his bed staring up at the roof lost in thought. Yeah, they all had their own rooms! It was awesome. What wasn't awesome was that he couldn't sleep; it was all Dabi's fault. He sighs moving his arm over his face mumbling under his breath "This isn't even fair” it wasn't the first time that he stayed awake thinking of his crush, but he didn't think he would be thinking about his height! There's no way that Dabi was shorter than himself, right? It would be nice... damn if he was the taller one, he could hug onto Dabi and just rest and warm up the thought made him hum happily. After laying there for a few more minutes, he knew that he wasn't going to be able to sleep until he found out. With a slow sigh he pushes himself up to sit on the bed, pulling his fingers through his hair which was pretty long when it wasn't styled up.

Thinking about it for a bit longer he decides, you know what? He was going to go for it. Pushing himself to stand up he starts to walk out of his bedroom slipping a hoodie on over his head. Was this going to be a mistake? Yeah, most likely. Honestly he couldn't believe that he was going to go and do this! It was going to be so weird! Plus he could end up getting killed and turned into a crisp lizard! The thought made him shutter but he shook his head to get his mind off that and walks over to Dabi's room, pressing his head against the door shutting his eyes listening for any sounds. Not all the time did Dabi stay at the hideout, most of the time he went out and said that he didn't want to stay there with people that could kill him or at least try to. He only started staying here a few weeks ago, it was a nice thing to know that Dabi was slowly starting to trust them! Welp! Time to break that trust.

Slowly Spinner pushes the door open to see a messy head of black hair under the blanket with just a little bit of hair poking out. He was under the blanket curled up, while the bundle was rising and falling slowly with the breaths Dabi was taking. The green male pauses, staring for a few seconds and slowly steps closer his eyes scanning around the room. There was a poster of Stain, a picture of Endeavor with knives in it, along with random burn marks along the walls, and a box of yarn for some reason? Whatever he didn't really care about that at the moment. Slowly he reaches out for the blanket to pull it back.

Before he could even grab the blanket though, he felt his wrist getting grabbed, and he gets pulled forward making him lose his balance falling forward onto the bed and Dabi holds up his other hand, blue flames appearing, his knee between Spinner's shoulder blades to keep him down pressed into the bed and Dabi speaks, not sounding very amused "I should burn you to a crisp right now for coming into my room Spinner. You have five seconds to explain before I do."

Ah color him horny and scared.

"One" Dabi starts to count, the blue flames lighting up the room. Spinner knew just how deadly those flames were, like a beast that could devourer everything in its path. Spinner turns his head to look at Dabi narrowing his eyes at him and squirms “You seem to always like using your quirk so much, you like holding power over people's life, huh?" He decided to ask.

Dabi's lips twitch up in a small grin, the staples straining to hold his skin together "Stain's tenets say that Spinner, now I'm about on four."

Aw come on, bringing Stain into this? He was so proud. He lies his head down on the bed thinking about how to explain "I wanted to test something" what was that? He was smarter than this. Sure, he was just some empty cosplayer, he didn't have a lot going for him but he figured he was smarter than that! Ughhhhh 

Wait-

He didn't feel the weight on him anymore, he could move his arms so he opens his eyes looking up to see Dabi standing in front of him, his arms crossed not looking too impressed just like earlier but he didn’t look annoyed this time, maybe even a little amused? He was wearing baggy pants and a tank top, most likely so he could sleep without the fabric getting caught on the staples in his skin? Yeah, he was sure that would not feel good. They stare at each other for a few seconds before Spinner stands up brushing himself off and looks at where Dabi’s face normally was but slowly turned his head down since he wasn't face to face with the fire quirk user.

Oh shit... he was tiny.

Dabi stood shorter than normal, maybe at 5'5? It was hard to tell exactly, Spinner just knew that he was taller! Happy day. "you're small" came his quick voice, not thinking about what he was saying until he said it. Dabi lets out a slight hum in annoyance "Really? No idea, thank you for telling me something I could not have found out myself"

sassy little shit. Spinner thought to himself well he knew that Dabi was small... not like he could just go for the hug like he could with the others! He would hug Toga and Twice, sometimes Shigaraki if he wanted it. He would get along really well with Magne he found it funny that they both had little crushes on Dabi, though she didn't hide hers very well and he never seemed to respond to it, or he got weirded out? It was a little strange, hard to place.

Slowly he realized that he was still just standing there so he clears his throat and nods, turning quickly walking out heading back to his room holding his hand over his mouth. He was going to turn on his heating pad and just try to get rest, this was crazy.

[Time Skip]

It had been a few weeks since that day and Spinner couldn't get it out of his head. How was he so small? Why did he wear those boots? He guessed that the reason Dabi wore those was to appear taller and more threatening? Plus it was impressive that he could go and fight in those boots! God he wanted to be that cool... why was it that they were all so much cooler than him? First Stain, then Shigaraki and lastly Dabi. Eh screw it, they’re all cooler than him. Toga’s pretty great too.

It was cold out so Spinner wasn't having the most fun. He was curled up on the couch with a blanket around himself, his eyes shut breathing in and out slowly the others were on a mission, which he really wanted to go on, but he couldn't, because he would have most likely fallen asleep. Damn this place for not having heating! Ugh it was so cold. He sniffles curling up tighter but perks up when he heard the door open and shut, making him open his eyes and he looks over seeing that it was Dabi who walks in and looks over at him "Hey, they sent me back to check on you" wait really? "You look like shit" ah right when he thought Dabi would care about him.

"If you came here just to mess with me, you can get out. I'm not in the mood" Dabi rolls his eyes at the response he got and he looks down, slipping off the boots he wore and walks over, nudging Spinner "sit up" getting a small grumble in response from the lizard guy made Dabi narrows his eyes a little in annoyance and nudges him a bit harder "I said sit up"

Spinner grumbles in annoyance himself, mad that he had to get out of his ball but he did as told and slowly sits up. Dabi grabs the blanket from around him and sits down leaning against Spinner shutting his eyes and seemed to start to get warmer making Spinner perk up, staring at the other male for a few seconds who shut his eyes "say anything and I'll leave you to deal with this alone, scales" With a little huff of laughter Spinner leans against Dabi shutting his eyes, not saying anything just enjoying the warmth for now. Guess this was better than being alone.

[hawkbucks]

Prompt: ok but what about a deaged!tony (hit by a spell or something that makes him 16 again idk) avoiding bucky like the plague and bucky thinks it's because tony's scared of him or remembers more than he says he does but no. oh no. it just turns out that tony had his bisexual awakening via a picture of bucky on a howling commando poster and doesn't know how to interact with his first crush At All. once returned to an adult tony is mortified but bucky thinks it's adorable

It's all Loki's fault. It's all that sly, spell-slinging bastard's fault. He's the entire reason why Tony's a couple of inches shorter and the entire reason why Tony's jaw is bare. Of course, Tony doesn't seem to remember that he was an acceptable 5'9" or that he rocked a Van Dyke, but he does seem to remember Bucky what with the way he froze upon seeing the man and scurried away.

He refuses to be alone in the same room with Bucky, and shies away from any sort of contact, sometimes even hopping over the dining table to avoid having to brush shoulders with him on the way to the kitchen.

"I don't think he likes me, Steve," he mumbles as he looks at the way that a teenaged Tony allows Thor to wrap an arm around him as they speak. "I'm thinkin' he remembers more than he's lettin' on." Does it make him feel a bit bad that Tony's pretty much chummy with everyone (bar the part where he blurted out, "You're supposed to be dead" at Steve) but refuses to so much as look at him? A bit, but he also understands that, if you're suddenly 16 and damn near defenseless and confronted with the guy that you know murdered your parents, you'd be hesitant too.

Steve simply shrugs as he pours himself some apple juice or grape juice or whatever the hell kind of juice he got out of the fridge today. "You could always just ask him."

Bucky snorts. "Oh, yeah, because cornering him and murder walking my way towards him while saying--" he puts on his best impression of Christian Bale's Batman-- "'do you remember?' is the best way to find out."

Steve gives him the stink eye. "I'll ask, then." He continues to give Bucky the stink eye as he makes his way towards Tony and Thor. He leans in, whispering something to Tony that makes him briefly glance at Bucky with his eyes wide, cheeks turning a soft red before looking away.

(Jesus Christ, he hopes Steve isn't saying anything bad.)

There's a nod, mouths moving, and voices soft enough that even his enhanced hearing can't pick up on it. Thor grins at some point, and Tony says something that has Steve choking and coughing on his juice, which earns him a small glare from Tony.

Steve comes back, draining the rest of his juice. He places his empty cup next to Bucky, a highly amused look on his face. “He remembers something alright,” he says, “but it’s not like what you’re expecting. It’s really not what you’re expecting. He’s not scared of you, promise.”

Bucky stands there. “What do you mean?”

Steve shakes his head. “No, no, I can’t tell you. You have to ask him yourself.”

“How?”

Steve grins. Bucky has learned to be afraid of what that grin entails. “Thor!” Steve calls out. “Wanna spar in the gym?” He pointedly ignores the slightly betrayed look Bucky throws at him. 

“You will purchase many of those ‘gummy bears’ for me if I win, correct?” Thor jovially replies, not noticing the near breakdown that Tony’s having besides him.

“‘Course!”

“Then let us spar! Young man of iron, I will be seeing you later.” He claps Tony on the shoulder twice before sauntering off with Steve, leaving Bucky and Tony in the room together. Alone. They shift awkwardly, not wanting to be the first person to break the silence.

But Bucky supposes that they’ll be here all night if neither of them spoke up. “Steve told me that you, um… remembered something?” he asks, nearly stumbling over his own feet as he took a few steps forward. He doesn’t attempt to get too close to Tony; there’s no use in scaring him, especially since he doesn’t know exactly what it is that the other remembers.

“You made me realize I was into guys,” Tony quickly says. Like ripping off a bandaid. Quick... and maybe a little painful.

Steve wasn’t lying. “What.”

Tony continues, eyes squeezed shut. “I-- there was an exhibit on you and the rest of the Howlies in the Smithsonian. Um, I’m not sure if it… if it’s still up during this time. I went. You, uh… looked really good in the uniform.”

Bucky wonders if it’s possible for all of the blood in someone’s body to go to their face because Tony honestly looks like one of those tomatoes that he sometimes picks up in the farmers’ market. “What?”

“I realized I was bisexual when I saw you! You were so-- so handsome and I just-- and now you’re standing here, and-- I don’t know.” Tony gestures wildly at Bucky and then squats close to the floor, both hands covering his flaming face. “I had-- have a crush on you. Not sure if I still do when I’m older. But fuck, if I’m not gonna regret this,” he says, voice muffled.

Yeah, Steve really wasn’t lying. Tony had a crush on him when he was younger? Well, shit, that just added another layer of sadness on top of their already sad enough history. “Uh… I’m sorry?”

Tony laughs, startled. “You’re sorry?”

“That you had a crush on me.”

Tony separates his fingers, looking at Bucky through the little hole he made. “Have you seen yourself? Why would you be sorry?”

Bucky shrugs. “I’m not the best person to have a crush on.” Oh, and I also brutally killed your mom and dad.

“Seems to be the trend in all of the guys I like,” Tony sighs. “You won’t… I mean, since you’re here, I’m assuming that we’re friends, but… you won’t, you know, hold this against me, right? When I’m older?”

“No, Tony, I won’t,” he promises softly. Tony sounds… scared, almost like he expects Bucky to hate him after this admission. It's heartbreaking, if he thinks about it.

“Alright. Okay.” Tony gets up off the floor, brushing invisible dust off of the front of his pants. He smiles at Bucky, but his hands are ever so slightly trembling, probably because of adrenaline. Or at least that’s what Bucky tells himself. "Alright, Bucky. Um... you want to watch something on the TV together?"

(“I really did that, huh,” Tony says, now freshly an adult after Loki’s spell wore off, sinking lower and lower into the couch cushions as Bucky laughs.

“It was kinda cute,” Bucky replies. “You were all red.”

Tony frowns. “No. It was embarrassing. I can’t believe I told you-- oh my god, I didn’t say anything to Steve about my Captain America pajamas, right?”

Bucky’s eyes light up like Christmas lights. “Your Captain America pajamas?”

“Barnes,” Tony panics, “Barnes, you are not going to tell him about the pajamas I had when I was 9.”)

[prorevenge]

Call Me Mean Shit AND Cheat On Your Fiancé? Here, Let Me Ruin Your Dating Life

So, first post here, kinda scared, but oh well. Also, this is kinda very long so, uh, grab your stash of candy or whatever and enjoy I guess. This also happened a few years ago so it's kinda fuzzy

First, I'll introduce you to the cast. The reason I describe their personalities and some of their looks is because it comes into play a little later. A little context is that I come from a considerably large family, with five siblings. My parents died when I was around four (or at least, I've been told), so my older brothers were my main caretakers. Mostly Lukas 'cause he had a lot of time on his hands. We are all blonde with grey/blue eyes except for my only sister, who got most of her traits from our mother.

(these are listed in order from oldest to youngest (for siblings), also, you can probably tell we're of Scandi origin so shut up any racist bastards out there)

Markus: quite tall, around 5'9, but his spiked hair adds to his height, so he really looks like he's 6'2. He is the big dummy of the family, but is still very lovable. Very loyal and it is very rare for him to betray someone. Kinda like a giant puppy or a really tall child. He's super kind and hardworking, and you can rarely see him shout, get angry, or ignore anyone. His personality is very important later

Lukas: also quite tall, around 5'9 as well, but looks hella shorter cause of Markus' goddamn hair. His most prominent feature is his eyes. This hard, cold, emotionless, and dead scary blue eyes. He could kill you with his glare if he wanted. He controls his emotions very well, and it's hard to get him to loose his temper. He's also kind of a drag queen. His personality is also very important later

Erik: on the shorter side, he acts like your insecure and awkward teen all the time. Doesn't like confrontation, and would rather spend his time studying for Uni than actually talking

Hilde: a little taller than Erik, which is embarrassing for him, brunette, hazel eyes, a slightly darker complexion. Acts like an awkward mix between Erik and Markus, her looks are important

WellInTheory: the shortest of the all ;n;, but still considerably tall compared to the average. Looks a lot like Lukas, with grey eyes instead. I have a short temper, if you know how to set it off, but otherwise, I'm pretty chill. The most important thing to note is that: I love my brothers to no end. Hell, I missed one of my Uni finals for Markus *very very very important*

EB: entitled bitch, Markus' fiancée whom I just happen to hate very, very much

Now that we've gone through introductions, let's begin, shall we?

So, here's the background information: Me, Hilde, and Erik are all in UNi. Erik in his third year while me and Hilde were in our second. Luckily, Markus and Lukas have a house so us three are staying there

Markus had come from the local bar with EB. Now, it was 3 AM at the time so none of us knew (he called a cab). In the morning, since I'm always the first to wake up to go to morning lectures, I go down for breakfast, and low and behold, there is EB, standing in the kitchen with my brothers fucking makeup on her fucking face. So naturally, I had no clue she was there and instantly panic. I grab the nearest frying pan and threaten her with it.

Me: Uhm, who the fuck are you, why do you have my brother's make up on, and why the fuck are you in our house?

EB: oh, didn't you know, you must not be very sharp then! Markus brought me home with him~ I'm EB, Markus' girlfriend~~~~~

Me: okay, that explains two questions, now answer the last

EB: what do you mean

Me: *deep inhale* I MEAN, why the fuck do you have my brother's makeup on?!

EB: it's not hissss~

Me: yes it issssssssss (me mocking her)

At this point she just ignores me and pulls her phone out of her purse, and I happen to catch a glimpse of Lukas' eyeshadow palette in it. Of course, I lunge and pull it out of her purse instead of asking for it like a normal person. EB starts shouting at me that "I stole her makeup" and that "you will pay for this!". Yea right. I just stole back something you stole originally. Just at the right time, Lukas comes down, searching for his makeup and his coffee. He notices EB and basically asks her the exact same questions, and she responds with the exact same answers. Another perfect timing, and Markus comes down. Same questions, but now:

Markus: why do you have Lukas' makeup on?

EB: oh this, this isn't his. At least, not anymore. It's not like he needs it, he's so ugly even this makeup can't cover it!~ (keep in mind my brother was constantly getting hit on by boys and girls alike, ie. he's one of the prettiest men out there (its my opinion (no I am not incest (fight me James Charles fans))))

Markus: it doesn't explain why you stole his makeup--

at this, EB cuts him off and starts throwing a fucking tantrum

EB: YOU'RE JUST SIDING WITH HIM CAUSE HE'S YOU LITTLE BOYFRIEND!!!!11!!1!!!1!1 WHEN YOU BROUGHT ME HOME I THOUGHT YOU ACTUALLY LOVED ME11!!!1!1!!111

*dead silence*

EB: whAT/!?!?11/!? oh so NOW you're scared--

Markus: Lukas is my brother...

Needless to say, she was embarrassed, but that did not stop her for ridiculing me

EB: well, that doesn't matter, that little girl shouldn't have reached into my bag, it's a violation of private property

And literally everyone in the room (except maybe Markus cause he's too nice for his own good) was literally like: no u, but in a mental or very quiet way.

Time passes, I get to witness Markus get harasses verbally daily by EB and as he drifts away from our little family.

Finally, the last semester of Uni arrives.

Over the course of multiple stressful weeks, EB just gets more and more annoying, and for some reason, she absolutely hates me and my sister, but mostly my sister. Why? cause she's a racist bitch that clearly doesn't understand genetics.

EB: WHY IS THAT UGLY BLACK BITCH EVEN LIVING WITH YOU?!?!

Markus: cause she's our sister--

EB: NO SHE ISN'T!!!1!11!!! SHE DOESN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE YOU!!!111!1

Markus: well thats because--

EB: I. DON'T. CARE!1111!!!!!!! JUST GET HER OUT OF MY SIGHT1!!!11

Markus: why?

EB: CAUSE SHE'S BLACK!111!! and YOU

she turns to me, who had just come through the fucking door

EB: YOU'RE JUST A NARCISSISTIC LITTLE WHORE WHO DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING BRAIN!!!11!1!!!!

I had just come back from a particularly confusing lecture and my mind was still swimming at the new information thrown at me, and I was now being yelled at the moment I stepped through

Me: ...wha...?

It was all I could manage

EB: SEE? SEE?!?!??! SHE'S FUCKING BRAINDEAD AND USELESS!!!!! THE SLUT AND WHORE IS ONLY OUT TO GET OLDER MEN-

She's abruptly cut off as Erik, who had come down a few minutes earlier and was watching from afar, and Lukas stepped in front of me. Lukas gives his signature death glare and leads me away.

Lukas: insult us one more time and you'll be prohibited to come in contact with any of our family, you racist son of a bitch. Markus, you can follow her if you wish.

Erik: I wonder what Markus sees in you...

EB: a- wha- bu- AFAKLDAHFALHF (no really its what it sounded like)

this is surprising cause as mentioned before, Erik HATES confrontation and Lukas rarely looses his temper.

Fast forward a little, I'm hanging out with my friends at the local pub, when suddenly...

EB: AND OMGGGGGG WellInTheory IS SUCH A BITCH11!!!!1!!111!!!!!!

She continues complaining about me loudly, so naturally, I take out my phone and record the whole, goddamn thing. But I also recorded something I didn't expect.

EB, started to french kiss some guy. I don't know what this whore was thinking, but it seemed no one cared except for me. After she finished making out, she starts to complain about me and my sister loudly for another 10 mins or so before leaving.

I captured the whole thing. Markus and EB's marriage was going to happen in less than two days. You know what this means? Simple. Nuclear revenge! In the purest form, over the course of many years! :D

So I drive home as fast as I can without violating any laws, and run into our house. EB had gone home with one of those three men to do some sacrilegious acts, I would presume. I leap up the stairs and crash through Markus' door, then shove the video into his face.

...

I had to comfort him for five hours. FIVE. HOURS. He was that distraught at the video, and had either cried or hiccupped while ranting to me. Lukas, Erik, and Hilde eventually came in as well, probably to complain about the noise, only to find Markus breaking down and had to help as well.

After he had calmed down enough to form legible words, I presented my nuclear revenge plan. Everyone was in on it in some way or another, and they all loved it.

​

Fast forward, (wow there are a lot of these) and it's now the wedding day.

Markus had asked whether EB wanted him to invite his siblings, she of course, said no. But here we are, dressed in our best dresses. Erik, being the sneakiest one of all, had switched EB's wedding dress to the exact same dress me and Hilde were wearing an hour earlier. Lukas and Erik were wearing the exact same suit EB's secret boyfriend was and EB's father were wearing. When EB sees us, she goes fucking insane.

EB: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?! I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME

Lukas: Really now...? We got invitations~ Signed by you at that

EB: WHAT?! SHOW THEM TO ME

Lukas hands over four invitations that indeed, has her signature on them. She became furious, and of course, started dumping all the blame on me and Hilde. I could clearly tell that my brothers were livid. They however, kept it all in as they waited for the plan to unfold further.

We could tell people were staring at EB, me, and Hilde because of the dresses. We had specifically chosen dresses that better suited me and Hilde's body types, and looked absolutely horrendous on EB. Some brighter people were starting to laugh as they figured out the plan to destroy the wedding. It's time for wedding vows. As request from the four of us, the officiant asked for EB's vow first.

Officiant: do you take Markus as your husband?

EB: yES~~~~

Here, is where shit went down

Officiant: Markus, do you take EB as your wife?

Markus: do I? Well, considering she hates the rest of my living family enough to deny them any access to my wedding, and considering she cheated on me with some random guy... what do you think?

Lukas: considering the points you just listed, I'd say no to this marriage. She always smelt bad, and she would always take forever in the shower anyways...

Erik: agreed. and besides, what whore french kisses a random guy in the public? and you call WellInTheory a slut... Also, the fact you denied wearing and stealing Lukas' makeup... just...

Hilde: take that you racist bitch. I hope whatever's left of your clearly broken family sobers up and disowns you forever. I hope to see you on the streets!!

Me: so I'm the slut, "just out there to get older men", eh? yea, I think not. I mean look at you! You even copied our dress! how shameful. And the fact that your secret boyfriend is here as well, wearing the same suit as my brothers... shame...

EB just stood there, with her mouth easily catching three of four flies per minute

Markus: I think... nah. I'll not marry you. My family's right, you are a disgusting bitch. Now, where's the cake?

The rest of the wedding was spent laughing at, ridiculing, or completely avoiding EB, and a cake fight happened. EB was crying over how "I THOUGHT YOU WERE LOYAL TO ME MARKUS AAAAAAAAGHHHH" or something like that, and every time she tried to rekindle their relationship, Markus would either laugh at her, throw a scalding comment at her, act like she was the black plague, or just flat out ignore her. Remember when I said Markus' personality would be important later? Yea, this was why.

​

I also stalked her on IG, Facebook, etc. Anytime she got another boyfriend, I sent the video to said boyfriend and warned them and also suggested them to check her phone. They always broke up a day later.

​

I've mostly gotten over it now, but still occasionally destroy some relationships just to remind her. After all, you mess with my brothers? I ruin your life. Mutual, I think.

(source) story by (/u/WellInTheory)