#he is not allowed to lie either so he cannot even think that he likes her back or he will be forced to Blurt it out

[mars-ipan]

hey folks did you know i love super dangan ronpa 2

[eddiethebrave]

secret admirer part thirteen

697 words

one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve

Steve and Eddie have a divider set up between them, like every other pair in the room. 

The rules say under no circumstances are they allowed to see their partners portraits until the exhibit. Steve doesn’t get why or why the rule goes for the portraits they're doing of themselves, but he's not the one in charge so he doesn't question it. 

The same cannot be said of Eddie.

“Come on. “ He groans. “Just a peek, no one will know.”

Steve rolls his eyes and flexes his fingers where there's sprawled over his paper so a certain someone doesn't see. “We're literally in the middle of the room, Munson - everyone will know.”

Eddie's slumps, leaning away from where he was invading Steve's space and Steve thinks that’s for the better. He doesn’t know how long he could’ve kept up the unbothered act; like he couldn’t smell Eddie’s cheap shampoo and cologne, like his heart wasn’t pounding and he wasn’t resisting leaning closer. 

Steve can't help but smile at the look on Eddie’s face. Like Steve has personally offended him by following the rules. 

“Lame,” Eddie mutters under his breath. He ducks behind the divider to presumably continue working on his self-portrait.

If it's anything along the lines of his other work, then Steve doesn't actually want to see. The teen has consistently made some of the most disturbing stuff Steve’s ever seen. It can't be helping the Satanist allegations but to each his own. 

Steve is, unfortunately, morbidly curious as to how Eddie would draw humans, though, specifically him. He only has to wait a few weeks to see that, though, so he can be patient, unlike Eddie. 

Steve can’t even lie to himself and act like he doesn’t find it endearing. 

Carol hadn't been all that happy with her partner. The sophomore she was paired with somehow managed to be judgmental and awkward at the same time. 

Steve's never spoken to her himself, but everyone in class is familiar with her mile-a-minute way of speaking. Carol's only referred to her as motor mouth for as long as Steve can recall. 

She wasn't amused that she had to move seats to be closer to the girl, either. The teacher is having them complete the outline and worksheet today, seeing as Carol didn't get the chance yesterday. 

Steve looks behind him to check in only to see Carol staring at the girl dead pan while she presumably explains the project. 

Steve never got a good look at her seeing as she sat behind him, but he notices now that she’s pretty. She isn’t wearing traditionally feminine clothes- Well, she is, but it's mixed in with some interesting choices. Like the tie. Definitely interesting. She has freckles that rival Tommy's - except not really because Steve doesn't think that anybody's could.

Steve makes eye contact with Carol and the girl widens her eyes at him like are you seeing this and Steve only shakes his head in amusement and returns to his assignment. 

He’s never had to draw himself before. At the beginning of the hour, he wasn’t sure where to start, but decided there was no better place than his pride and joy; his hair. It’s not looking too bad if he does say so himself. His plan is to leave the eyes for last because that’s always where he somehow goes wrong. 

Steve pauses in his assessment of his project when he senses eyes on him. He looks to his left and, sure enough, Eddie is leaning onto the back two legs of his seat in an attempt to see pass the divider. 

Steve huffs and grabs the back of the chair and rocks it slightly. Eddie yelps and grabs onto his arm for stability. Steve’s breath hitches. 

“What’re you up to there?”

Eddie peers at him before a smirk grows on his face. “Oh, you know, just testing your reflexes.” 

Steve hums and pulls so the front legs are brought back to the floor. “Right, right, and what’s the verdict?”

The boy grins and pats Steve’s arm before pulling his hand away. “They’re just fine, sweetheart.”

Steve doesn’t get much work done the rest of the period.

fourteen

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sorry if i missed anyone!!

[synqiri]

PRETTY.

or, his reaction when you tell him that he's the prettiest guy you've ever seen <3

PAIRING: wanderer, neuvillette x gn!reader

WARNINGS: none

WORDCOUNT: 0.6K || CONTENT: fluff, slice of life, they're both smitten af

NOTES: something short n silly hehe

WANDERER flusters. 

his brows are drawn tight, and on his lips a faint scowl — you would have mistaken his expression for disdain in the past, during the days before you learnt all his tells. he faces you dead in the eye, head tilted to the side. his grip on his book is ever so slightly vice-like.

if it were really contempt or scorn, he would’ve had his arms crossed, and stared down at you with his head up high. if he really had been offended, he would’ve already burnt you to crisp. 

“what nonsense are you spewing?” he hisses. 

you grin in reply, choking back a laugh. the two of you are in the library due to his insistence on tutoring you in history (only an idiot will refuse the chance to learn from the best, he had said) and, well, you got sidetracked. in your defence, you never meant to say it out loud — and it isn’t as if it’s a lie. he is pretty. extremely, incredibly so.

“just take the compliment,” you tell him breezily. shrugging, you lean back against your seat lazily. “have you seen alhaitham? kaveh? i’m just sayin’ i think you’re the prettiest.”

he recovers fairly quickly after that. he sniffs imperiously, a cocky smile stretched across his face. “of course i am. no human will ever hold a candle to me.”

“even me?” you pout. 

he rolls his eyes with a begrudging huff. “i suppose you are an exception.”

you burst into laughter then, peeling his hand off his book as you do, and it’s almost surprising how easily he allows you to do so.

“nah,” you say, pressing a kiss to the back of his palm. it’s adorable how he flusters every single time you do something remotely romantic. “i’m fine with taking second place on this one.”

NEUVILLETTE has been called many things in the centuries that was his life, but pretty had never been one of them. he’s nearly startled speechless. 

“i beg your pardon?” he questions. 

you giggle, a bubbly grin spread across your face. you repeat yourself without fuss. “you’re the prettiest guy i’ve ever seen. i’m so lucky you’re mine — oh, but i’m not saying i only love you because of your looks, of course — you’re like the whole damn package, and i —”

he cuts you off with a soft chuckle there, taking your hand in his. he has never been one to care much about appearances, but if his is to your liking, then he cannot be any more satisfied. 

a warm, blossoming feeling stirs within him, a feeling he has learnt to be joy.

“my apologies,” he says, “i was merely surprised. if anything, i am only glad you find my appearance attractive.”

you're accompanying him in his office as he works, and you're draped on his seat next to him, a half-open book in your lap. you wrinkle your nose, swatting your free hand at him. your hits are light as a feather, your weight comforting by his side.

he has never really been one for physical affection either, but with you, there is nothing he adores more. frankly, there are countless things that endear you to him.

“god, you speak so… i hate how i love it. hmph. you're lucky you're pretty.”

at your words, he smiles too. “i don't doubt i am. however, my love, in my eyes, you are certainly the most beautiful one.”

“since when did you learn to be so smooth?!” you cry, smacking your book against his shoulder. your grin wide and surprised and flustered.

he laughs.

(the sky is bright and clear for the rest of that day.)

[ehhgg-art]

you ever think about the fact that laios won not by being a monster but by being human.

monsters as we’ve seen throughout the manga are predictable, they have this rhythm to them that, once someone understands, can be used to take them out. take kelpies like anne where laios states that she is just a monster and cannot be trusted. even kensuke is “just a monster after all”, running away from danger when laios needs it most. kensuke is beloved by laios not just because he is a monster, but because laios, in human fashion, anthropomorphized him in his mind (giving him a name, etc.)

but people are different. they are multifaceted, non-monolithic creatures. long lived races are not all pious and apathetic towards short lived races as we see with marcille and senshi. chilchuck actively works against the prejudice against half-foots. tallmen from every region have their cultural differences as we see with shuro and laios/falin. even “demi-humans” like orcs have depth to them, having rich culture and values despite the general idea that they are a violent pillaging race.

even laios’ family and village, the nexus point for his dislike of people, have depth to them. though their parents did not actively protect their children, they did not wish harm on them either. the exorcisms performed on falin by their mother was harmful in laios’ eyes, but helpful in his mother’s perspective.

laios himself, despite loving monsters and hating humans, is so very painfully human. he hates humans but has risked life and literal limb to save his sister and his party. he loves monsters but is aware of their dangerous nature and spares them no mercy.

(big spoilers under the cut)

the winged lion mistook laios as a one dimensional entity, one which only operates on a one track mind without paradox. it thought laios to operate like a monster, and so it approached his desires like one. it believed that laios, being so obsessed with monsters, must behave like one as well, so completely disregarded the fact that laios could have something up his sleeve.

but laios is not a monster, he is human. he has ulterior motives, overlapping beliefs, contradicting values. it is his humanness that made him explain to his party what to do when things went awry. it is his humanness that allowed him to lie. lie to the world about his true plan as well as lie to the winged lion about his intentions.

sure laios WANTS to be a monster, that much is definitely true. but what he IS is a different story. laios is an unpredictable, sporadic, messy human being. it is that fact which the winged lion overlooked, and ultimately led to its downfall and laios’ victory.

[mischievousmoony]

𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜' ⟡ 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟸

⟢ james potter x black!reader (fem)

⟢ summary: after your parents cross the line, you and your older brother sirius find sanctuary at the potters'. however, things don’t go so smoothly at first . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 3.6k

⟢ warnings/tags: abusive parents, james’ clothes are described as baggy on the reader, siblings fighting, fluff then angst

⟢ part 1 ⟡ part 2 ⟡ part 3 ⟡ masterlist

note: my writing's so rustyyyy the dialogue is so off but im so done editing. and this is gonna need a few more parts, i keep getting carried away.

The Potters' house was very different from yours. It was the first thing you noticed when you woke up. Back home, it felt like Grimmauld Place existed under a perpetual storm cloud. Here, sunshine cannot be escaped. The curtains were drawn closed, but light still filtered in from both sides, almost pleading for them to be opened so that it might do its duty of brightening the house.

Another thing you noticed were birds, who sang pretty songs from right outside your window. You can't remember ever hearing any birds outside your home, and there were plenty of trees for them to nest in. In fact, you started to believe that the aura of your house scared all living things away. Realistically, it was probably all of the yelling and screaming.

As you lie in an unfamiliar room and think of all the reasons why you preferred it over your own, three gentle knocks beat on your door. They sounded different than James' quick staccato, and nerves bubbled in your stomach because you couldn't guess who was on the other side.

You took a deep breath, told yourself that you didn’t have to be so on edge here, and called for the person to come in as you sat up. The knock pattern automatically filed itself away in your brain as belonging to Mrs. Potter. She walked in, carrying a silver tea tray.

"Good morning, dear. Sleep well?" She greeted you as she made her way to your bedside.

"Yes, Ma'am." You said politely.

"Oh, please call me Effie," she insisted as she placed the tray on the bedside table and moved to draw open your curtains. You imagined the sunshine saying thank you for finally letting it in.

“I’ve brought up some tea for you. I wasn't sure how you liked it, alas..." Effie waved her hand over the tray.

The tray had the basics: a teapot, sugar, and a small milk pitcher. However, Effie had also laid out various tea bags for you to choose from, along with some warm biscuits.

“Thank you,” you said in awe as you stared at the display. It was a simple tea setting, really, but the thoughtfulness still had you feeling choked up.

"I spoke with James this morning. May I?" Effie gestured to the edge of your bed, and you welcomed her to sit. "He woke Monty and me up at the crack of dawn, insisting that we let you and your brother stay permanently. Even had tears in his eyes. I tell you, that boy has his father’s big heart."

"Anywho, I nearly tossed a pillow at him for waking me up so early, as if I’d even consider an alternative! But I got to thinking, if James felt like we needed convincing, then we better make sure you and Sirius don’t feel any unease either.”

Effie reached for your hands that lay folded in your lap. “So,” she paused a moment to allow you the chance to shoo her off before placing her hand over yours. “I felt it was important to tell you personally that you are welcomed in this home and this family, assuming you’ll have us, for as long as you need us. That sounds like a good deal to you?”

You bit back tears, “Yea- yes. I think that sounds lovely.”

Effie smiled and squeezed your hands, “Can I give you a hug, dear?”

“Yes, please.” you croaked.

Effie wrapped her arms around you, and you let a few tears loose while she couldn’t see you, wiping them away with your thumb as soon as they appeared. The hug felt warm and unfamiliar, and you wondered if there was a time that your parents ever hugged you like this. If they did, you didn’t remember it.

From behind Effie’s back, you watched James waltz over through your blurry vision. He became distracted by the surprise that the bedroom door was already opened, eyeing it before anything else in the room as he leaned against the doorframe.

“Good morning, sunsh- Mum! You’re in here!”

Effie pulled back from you and craned her neck to look over her shoulder at her son, who was standing up as straight as a board in the doorway. She raised an eyebrow at him, sensing his sudden weirdness.

“I was just welcoming Y/N to our home, like we discussed. Are you alright, dear?” Effie tilted her head.

“‘m splendid, Mum.” James said it with a goofy smile, rocking back and forth on his heels.

She drew her eyebrows together and said, "Lovely, James. What can we do for you?"

"Me? Do for me?" James' eyes widened.

Effie shook her head, perplexed by her son’s reaction.

"I'm wondering what brings you here, James?"

"Ah. I was just in the area," James said, doing a poor job at acting casual. "Y'know, the upstairs... area. Uh, so I thought I'd say good morning... Good morning!"

You thought that this must be the kind of thing people face palm over.

“Hm,” Effie squinted at her son, studying him for a moment before deciding to worry about whatever that was later. She turned back towards you, “Anywho, this is your room now, so I hope it's to your liking. We can see about changing these sheets and painting the walls however you’d like-”

“It’s perfect!” You interrupted, looking bashful for doing so, but Effie didn't seem to mind.

“Well, feel free to customize it any other way. Any posters?” Effie offered.

"I didn't have time to grab that sort of thing,” you admitted, and immediately felt stupid for doing so. Effie clearly just wanted you to feel at home, and you felt like you were being a downer.

But if it phased Effie, she didn’t show it.

"Well then, that means we get to go buy some new ones, yeah?"

She gave your hands a final squeeze before standing up, saying, “I better let you wake up and enjoy the tea,” and walking towards the hall.

Effie affectionately patted James on the cheek as she passed him.

“Have you had breakfast, dear?”

“Mum!” James shrank away from her, his face growing hot. “I will in a minute!”

She tsked at him, gave his cheek one last pinch, and made her way out of the room. James hung from the doorframe into the hall to watch her go. When she was out of sight, he dipped into your room and shut the door silently behind him.

James' back pressed against the closed door as he shot you a toothy grin.

"Good morning, sunshine," he repeated.

You can't help but giggle at him while saying, "Good morning, Jamie."

As he walked over you, his smile slightly faded as a hint of sadness crept onto his face when he noticed your teary eyes.

One thing you loved about James was that he never resorted to any of those hollow phrases like "don't cry" or "stay strong" when he tried to make you feel better. Instead, he always concocted the perfect cure for the situation. Today, it was goofiness and a lot of kisses.

James made a big show of acting innocent as he approached. He whistled some tune and looked anywhere but you before he suddenly dived at you, embracing your waist with a gentle yet decisive sweep of his arms. He flung his body into the mattress, dragging you down with him. You yelped and chided him through laughter.

When you landed, you were tangled awkwardly—your body twisted so that your torso was on top of his, but his legs were draped over yours. James' arms were still wrapped tightly around your waist, keeping you trapped as he peppered kisses on your face. He kissed your cheeks and the corner of your eyes, then your eyelids, effectively kissing away any stray tears.

You were a fit of giggles by the time his lips reached the tip of your nose. Next up, he dipped his head to kiss each side of your mouth before finally capturing your lips with his. You giggled through the feathery kisses he pressed on your lips, and he couldn't help but follow in your footsteps as he smiled against you.

Soon, laughter overtook you both. Yet you remained close, with your noses brushing against each other and your foreheads pressed together, as your happy laughter filled the room.

Eventually, James' laughter began to die down. He removed one of his hands from your waist to help brush your hair back into place, it having gotten disheveled from his attack.

You settled down as well, letting the touch of his fingertips in your hair calm you. He took notice and continued running his fingers through your hair, even after it was all brushed out of your face.

For a peaceful moment, you gazed into his eyes, which were filled with admiration and mirrored your own. James watched as a glint of mischief suddenly sparkled in your eyes.

"So," you voiced.

"Mhm," he hummed.

"You've clearly never tried to hide something from your mum before."

"Why would I 'ave had to hide something from my mum before?" James pouted, briefly bringing your giggles back. "Only reason I haven't gushed to her about my beautiful girlfriend," James gave your waist a squeeze, "is 'coz she would have qualms with me lying to a friend."

"Oh, so I guess we better go tell Sirius then, yeah? I wouldn't want to make you lie to your dear mum, I like her." You teased, amused by James' eyes widening nervously.

You've talked about telling your brothers before, but it's something neither of you were quite ready for—you were too fond of the blissfulness you found in the privacy of your relationship.

"Er, I don't particularly feel like getting socked in the face today." James said.

"Oh, come on. You think he'd react that badly?" You carried on.

"I think Sirius punching me would be a mild reaction for him." James grimaced, "He'll probably hex me into the next century. And I get chills thinking about what would happen if Regulus were to find out. Oh, I'd be a dead man. Or he'd put an irreversible curse on my bloodline. It's a tossup, really."

Your smile faltered at the mention of your twin brother, suddenly remembering your situation. You let yourself get distracted by the warm welcome from Effie and James' affection. How could you lay here happily while Regulus is still stuck at that house?

Your expression suddenly grew very solemn as you began squirming out of James' grip. "Where's Sirius?" you asked.

James seemed to choke on his own spit. "Uh, pardon? You're not really planning on telling him today?” Despite his protest, James loosened his grip, not wanting to keep you somewhere you didn’t want to be. “At least let me put my Quidditch gear on, I might need the protective padding."

You had tunnel vision the moment Regulus’ name was mentioned, but you realized what James was saying by the time he mentioned protective padding.

“Not that, James. I need to find out about Reg.”

His mouth formed an O shape as you stood at the foot of the bed with your hands on your hips.

“So do you know where he is?”

“Uh, eating breakfast probably,” James guessed, “in the dining room.”

You stared at him expectantly and after a while of him not moving, you huffed, “I don’t know where that is, James!”

“Right!” James scrambled up from the bed so he could lead you through the house. You could’ve found it if you wandered long enough, but the Potters’ house was fairly large, and you wanted to talk to Sirius as soon as possible.

By the time James had led you to the kitchen, you could see Sirius in the next room over through the open archway. You pushed past James at once.

Sirius was alone at the head of the table, various platters of breakfast food surrounding him. The kitchen was hot when you passed through it, so one of James’ parents must have just been cooking, but they were nowhere to be seen now. Sirius was shoveling some sausage onto his plate when he saw you.

“Sirius,” you said sternly as your hands returned to your hips.

“Look who’s finally up!” Your brother cheered, “Just in time to eat.” He gestured at the seat next to him.

James appeared at your side, and said, “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Maybe you should have some before you-”

“Where is Regulus?” You interrupted, ignoring James altogether.

James’ utterance of “Yeah, didn’t think so” was lost on your ears.

With a scowl on his face, Sirius turned his attention away from his meal. His eyes scanned over you, and his scowl twisted into an amused expression. “Nice outfit!” he snorted.

You looked down briefly to see yourself drowning in James’ clothes. Being much taller than you, James' sweats pooled at your ankles. You rolled your eyes.

“Stop it, Sirius. Where is our brother?”

Sirius squinted at you. You thought he was finally going to give you answers when he decisively opened his mouth, but instead, “You should sit and eat. James is right, breakfast is the most-”

“Sirius!” You raised your voice, your hands molding into fists as your arms dropped to your sides.

Sirius threw his fork down with a clatter, “What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me why he’s not here with us.” Your pleading voice cracked as you begged your brother for answers, stepping closer to him.

Sirius had a stormy, faraway look in his eyes, as if recalling something poignant. “The only one who can answer that question is him, so you’re out of luck,” he said bitterly.

The simmering anger in your chest started to bubble, rising up to your throat until you were spitting words that you would later regret. “You left him there!” you accused.

“Excuse me?” Sirius sent a deadly stare your way as he slowly pushed his chair back and stood up.

“Woah,” James tried to interrupt, moving to stand between you two, “Maybe we wanna take a moment and-”

You stepped around James, and his remaining words were drowned out by your raised voice: “I said you left him there. He’s not here because of you.”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!” Sirius bellowed, growing more irritated with you.

“Then why not enlighten me, Sirius!?”

“He chose to stay!" he disclosed. "Alright? I know you think so highly of your favorite brother, but he chose that place!”

“That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed, crossing your arms and looking away.

You ignored Sirius' choice words of "favorite brother." You weren't going to let yourself get distracted by that conversation, which you've had a countless number of times already. Sirius was sensitive to the fact that Regulus was your twin brother, and Sirius would always just be your brother, no matter how many times you told him that you loved them the same.

“I told him to pack, just like you, and he said no. I told him he had to and he refused," Sirius said vindictively.

“Then you should’ve tried harder!" You snapped, spewing words you didn't mean, "Now he’s there alone. He would’ve come if you would've just tried harder, I know it. This is all your fault!”

Sirius reeled back as if you had punched him in the gut. For a moment, he looked hurt, but then anger overwhelmed him. “How could you say that? You weren’t even there!”

“Because you never let me be! I stayed in my room, like you said to, and was out of my mind with worry. Next thing I know, we’re leaving and Regulus isn’t, and that feeling hasn’t gone away because I have no idea how he is. You should’ve grabbed him and dragged him along! You should’ve-“

“Why is everything my fault!? Why is it what I should’ve done!? You don’t even know what he did!” Sirius' nostrils flared with rage.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how your dear Reggie isn’t as good as you think he is," he sneered. "If you only saw him…”

“I don’t care what he did, he’s our brother!" You shouted, "He should be here. It doesn’t matter!”

Sirius slammed his hand on the table, “IT DOESN’T MATTER!?” he screamed, causing you to jump back. Tears immediately began welling in your eyes. No matter what you did, when you were being yelled at, you started crying. You weren't like your brothers, who could hold stone-cold, emotionless expressions despite whatever was swirling within. It was one of the reasons your brothers did what they could to keep your parents away from you—to Walburga and Orion, emotion was weakness.

Your tears didn't phase Sirius like they normally would have. He was too furious. “You want to know what he did?" he asked harshly. "He watched. He watched our parents torture me, and then he just walked away!"

“What did you want him to do?” you cried, “He- he was probably scared,” you hiccuped, “you- you should’ve-“

“I shouldn’t have done anything, goddammit! She crucio’d me! THAT’S what he watched our mother do. THAT’S what he let me deal with alone. I was on the ground unable to get up for damn near thirty minutes, and he knew it!"

Sirius nearly doubled over, grabbing the table in front of him for balance so hard that his knuckles blanched. All of the yelling gave him a head rush, but he wouldn't relent, "So don’t you tell me that I should’ve tried harder. That I should’ve grabbed him. He doesn’t care about me, so why should I care about him?”

Your hand clasped over your mouth as you sobbed. Your parents were cruel, but the Cruciatus Curse? You couldn’t fathom it. Your mouth suddenly felt dry, and bile bubbled up in your throat as you recalled Sirius’ scream from the night before.

Neither of you seemed to have anything else to say. You both just stood before each other in your most vulnerable states. It was a miserable sight—you crying your eyes out and Sirius looking sick as a dog.

Neither of you had noticed James leave until he returned. His parents followed closely behind.

"Snitch," Sirius choked out, glaring at his best friend as a fit of coughs hit him, his throat strained from the yelling. He ducked his head down and screwed his eyes shut suddenly, like the light in the room was starting to bother his head.

James didn't seem to care what Sirius thought of him. He was too busy being concerned for you both. Besides, James didn't really snitch. You two were being so loud that his parents were already on their way. He happened to run into them in their pursuit.

"What's going on?" Effie's gentle voice rang through the room, "We could hear yelling from the other side of the house."

Even though James' mum was being stern, she didn't sound angry or upset. Her voice only carried notes of concern and motherly authority.

Neither you nor Sirius answered her, too busy crying and coughing. Both of you would've probably been too sheepish to answer, anyway.

James' parents shared a look with each other, deciding what to do about the situation through eye contact alone.

Fleamont spoke with a firm voice, "Alright, son, we ought to get you up to your room. I think it'd be best for you to lie down." Fleamont clasped a hand on Sirius' shoulder. Your brother let Fleamont assist him in the walk to his room.

Euphemia moved to comfort you, but James stopped her. "Wait, let me."

She raised her eyebrows at her son, skeptical of the idea that her young son was equipped to handle this situation. But James had already started reaching for you, and like a moth to a flame, you melted into his arms the moment you felt his fingertips graze your skin.

Effie's eyes darted between you and her son, settling on him when her features melded into a look of understanding. A million questions raced through her mind. How long had this been going on? Why didn't James tell her? Did James tell Sirius? But the one thing she knew for sure was that you found comfort in James, and comfort was the one thing you needed right now.

She took a deep breath and decided to trust her son. "We'll talk about this later. I'm going to check on Sirius."

"Thanks, Mum." James let out a relieved breath.

"Just... behave."

"Mum!" James blushed, his hands swiftly traveling up to cover your ears with his palms.

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that!" Effie waved a hand in the air as she followed in the direction of Fleamont and Sirius.

James noticed your shoulders had started shaking intensely.

“Lovey,” he cooed. He moved his hands to cup your face, tilting it up to look at him. He was surprised to find that the reason for your shuddering shoulders was not because you had started crying harder. You were still crying, but it was mixed with a bit of laughter.

"I guess neither of us are very good at hiding things,” you said, thinking of how you jumped into his arms right in front of his mother.

James shook his head, a single chuckle escaping from his lips.

“Guess not.”

Your moment of humor quickly passed, your eyes turning sad again as more tears spilled out.

James sighed, brushing away your tears with his thumb before pulling you close to his chest. He rubbed soothing circles on your back, pressed kisses to the top of your head, and whispered professions of love and sweet words in your ear while he let you cry. Sometimes, he knew you just needed to let it all out.

Eventually, you let James’ touch and loving words relax you. When your crying was reduced to a sniffle, James veered back so that you could see his face.

“Let’s go on a walk.”

[dira333]

By a Hair - Bokuto x Soulmate Reader

Request: If your soulmate colors their hair, your hair turns the same color, with Bokuto from Haikyuu. - from @toomanygoldfish

A/N: This was fun to write, now that my health (both mental and physical) is getting better. Thank you for requesting this.

“Are you not feeling well, Bokuto?” Akaashi asks in the morning, concern clear in his voice.

“Akaashi-kun!” Bokuto wails in response, grabbing his Kohai by the jacket. “Does my hair look any different?”

“No?”

“Exactly!” He deflates dejectedly. “I turned eighteen exactly five days ago and nothing changed!”

“Oh.” Akaashi nods in understanding while other students either furrow their brows in confusion or turn their heads away, knowing that Bokuto is something of an enigma - never fully understood.

“What if they never color their hair?” Bokuto asks with desperation. “Will I never find them?”

“You will, surely. But you will need some more patience.”

But this is Bokuto. Patience is not part of his vocabulary.

-

“What if I color my hair?” He asks one day after training, hair down after the shower, but his mind in the clouds.

“That would be a bad idea,” Akaashi reminds him calmly. “Fukurōdani Academy does not allow students to color their hair.”

“What if I color it a natural color?”

“Your teacher would notice. Besides, how would you be able to spot your soulmate?”

Bokuto deflates, but only for a moment, before he comes back with vengeance.

“But if my soulmate goes to another school and colors their hair and therefore my hair turns their hair color, they cannot force me to do anything about it, right?”

Akaashi blinks at him for a long moment, before nodding.

“That is correct. But if your soulmate goes to another school, you will have a hard time finding them.”

“But if I color my hair, I can say I woke up with that and that it’s my soulmate’s hair color.”

Akaashi looks at him, a long, hard stare that drills into Bokuto’s skull hard enough for him to stop, freeze awkwardly in his movement, waiting for his friend to finally speak.

“Bokuto. You are my friend, but you cannot lie. You always tell on yourself. If you color your hair, you will most likely be held back from playing in official matches.”

Bokuto pouts and Akaashi can only hope that his soulmate will be found soon.

It’s the last day of September, just a mere ten days after Bokuto’s birthday.

This will be a long year.

-

“Akaashi!!!!” Bokuto’s voice cuts easily through the noise of the morning, some students jumping to the side when he comes barreling through.

Akaashi, having learned from past mistakes, stays where he is, awaiting his best friend's imminent arrival.

But when he does arrive, he can’t help himself.

“Bokuto! What the f-”

“Isn’t it great?!” Bokuto does a little spin as if he’s showcasing a skirt and not a different hair color. “I woke up like this!”

“If you’re lying-”

“I’m not, Akaashi, I swear I’m not. I went to bed with my own hair and woke up like this. It’s so cool!” Bokuto gushes, while trying to catch his reflection in a window.

“Bokuto Kotarou!” He flinches at the voice. At the top of the stairs, their homeroom teacher looms, the look on his face very telling.

“I didn’t do it!” Bokuto claims. “I woke up like this. My soulmate-”

“That’s not an excuse unless you can prove it!” 

“I didn’t do it! I swear!” Bokuto’s early excitement has left the room. “I don’t even know how to paint my hair.”

“Dye.” Akaashi corrects him out of habit and Bokuto stares at him in shock.

“Akaashi!” He whines. “Don’t be mean.”

“No, not like… You dye your hair, you don’t paint it.”

“Oh.”

Above them, Hoshikori-san huffs annoyed. “Fine. Get to class. And wear something on your head between classes.”

-

Bokuto’s hair is the talk of the school.

His bangs, usually a frosty white, have turned into a bright purple. It’s not a permanent color, as it fades slowly during the month of October, only to turn up just as bright at the first of November.

He clearly loves it, thinks it’s the coolest thing ever, and that his soulmate has the best, most amazing taste in the world, but…

He hasn’t found his soulmate yet.

There is not one other student at Fukurōdani Academy who wears their hair in the same color. No one in his or Akaashi’s neighborhood either.

He’s even spent an entire weekend at the mall, hoping he’ll meet them, but to no avail.

And as the days run through their fingers, his impatience is growing.

-

“Are you guys excited for the training match?” Suzumeda asks as they meet, the early morning leaving them all yawning.

Bokuto looks the most exhausted of them all, his usual energy nowhere to be found even though his hair is a bright purple, signaling the beginning of a new month.

“Are you?” Konoha asks, surprised when Suzumeda nods with a bright smile.

“My Cousin’s coming to watch. She’s a student at Shinzen High.”

“I don’t wanna play…” Bokuto whines behind them, draping himself over Akaashi.

“Oh come on, cheer up, will you?” Konoha asks but Akaashi just shakes his head.

“Very well.” Akaashi declares. “If you feel like you need to stay back, that is your decision. I will keep my eyes open for you then.”

“What do you mean?” Bokuto furrows his brows.

“We haven’t been to Shinzen since your hair started changing colors. I will keep my eyes open for someone with bright purple bangs.”

Suzumeda gasps, her eyes wide. Akaashi is the only one who notices over Bokuto’s sudden enthusiasm as he declares that he’s going to win every set.

If his soulmate is watching, he’ll be sure to play his best.

-

They arrive. They warm up. 

There are a few students watching, but none of them have purple bangs.

“Which one is your cousin, Suzumeda?” Konoha asks and Suzumeda’s eyes flicker over to Akaashi, meeting his before biting her lower lip nervously. 

“She’s not here yet. She’s probably late.”

Bokuto messes up his first serve. He spirals from there.

The Shinzen team snickers, drops little comments until Bokuto is so out of it, Akaashi gestures at their Coach to swap him out.

At that moment, the door to the gym opens a crack, just enough to let one figure slip through.

You might have gotten in undetected if not for your bright purple bangs.

Bokuto, on his way off the court, sees you first.

The sound he makes is something Akaashi never wants to hear again for fear of losing his hearing altogether.

“You! Me! Hair!” Bokuto is a stuttering mess, not because he’s nervous, but because his excitement leaves him lacking air.

You stand there, frozen in the doorway, hands clutched around your bag as your eyes flicker between Bokuto and Suzumeda, whose face is split into a grin.

“Surprise?” She asks just moments before Bokuto leaps forward, grabbing your hands and sinking to his knees.

“You’re my soulmate?! You are so cute!!!!”

-

It’s no surprise that they win their training match, as soon as Coach manages to drag Bokuto back onto the court.

It’s also no surprise that as soon as their last match ends, Bokuto is nowhere to be found. And so are you, conveniently.

Suzumeda shrugs off every nosy question like the pro she is.

“I wanted them to meet naturally.” She snaps eventually. “Leave me out of it.”

Bokuto, to the surprise of everyone, steps onto the Bus in a good mood, waving at you until you’re out of sight.

He drops into his seat next to Akaashi, bright eyes looking far ahead.

“Ne, Akaashi.” He says. “Don’t you think my Soulmate is the coolest?”

“Yeah.” Akaashi agrees easily because this is Bokuto. “They sure are.”

My Kofi if you want to tip me

[ashonheavenscloud]

the duke and i || k. sunwoo

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ contents: duke!kim sunwoo x lady!reader, bridgerton-esque au, flirting and TENSIONNNN

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ word count: 1.1k

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ warnings: none they’re just down bad KSJDJDJ

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ a/n: wrote this with mi amor @lixiesfreckless on a train ride lol🤪 we also watched season 2 of bridgerton in 24 hours earlier this week so this is 100% born of brainrot. ENJOYYYY

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Sunwoo is a gentleman, by all standards. Well-spoken, well-dressed; polite, prim and proper. Everything about the tuxedo-clad son of the duke screams elegant society. His posture, the careful grip on his flute of champagne, the subtle nods to the other respectable men in society, the way his hair is styled just-so at his eyebrows. No one would ever argue anything different at a first or second glance.

No one, except you of course.

The Sunwoo you had come to know has said, or rather, whispered words to you that cannot even be alluded to in polite society. The careful grip on his champagne flute translates rather misguidedly. He’s certainly not so cautious in the way he eyes you, the barest hint of a smirk on his lips. And his hold on the glass is certainly not as delicate as the way he holds you.

Holds your gaze. Holds your thoughts. Holds your waist when you dance and you can barely breathe as his hands tease your lower back, like they are right now.

"Something on your mind, m'lady?" he whispers into your ear, and you curse your bloodstream for coloring your skin with the most flustered tint of cherry at his proximity.

"Just counting my steps, so that I do not tarnish your shoes, your grace," you lie, not wanting to reveal what dangerous waters your mind had wandered into.

"You jest," he smirks, looking at you sideways as he pulls you into a spin, "surely my lady has no problem keeping up with me."

Sunwoo guides you to twist around, following the careful steps of the dance with your back pressed to his chest. Your heart stumbling at the feeling of his breath on your ear, you concentrate harder to not let your feet clumsily follow suit. “It is not a question of skill, but a question of maintaining both of our pride. There are eyes on us, maybe even that of the Queen-”

“Their eyes do not matter.” Sunwoo murmurs, taking your hands and guiding them over your head, into a twist, before pulling you back to face him. There’s a gleam in his irises. “Just keep yours on me.”

Somewhat reluctantly, you follow his instruction, and a shiver runs up your spine as you finally notice how intently he's gazing at you.

In the depths of your mind, there is a voice that reasons that no one knows him quite like you do. So perhaps it is not just a dance to him, similar to how multiple dances in a row have greater meaning to the trained eye.

And just like that, the touch of your hands, although gloved, becomes charged with something indescribable, something that travels to your fingertips to your stomach, eliciting that feeling that you've only ever read of.

It is not the first time it had ever happened with him, either.

Which is why when the song ends, and the two of you quit the dance floor, your eyes linger. Far too long, especially in a place so public, because despite Sunwoo’s words, there are eyes on you. But you can’t help it, not when he also keeps his eyes on yours, watching you take your place to the side several paces away.

The room feels hot, and you’re not sure if it’s the crowd, exertion from dancing, or something else entirely.

And Sunwoo’s eyes, never leaving your gaze, hold sparks that set you ablaze.

You need some air.

Excusing yourself quickly, you locate the nearest exit and duck through, hoping the next set of waltzing couples distracts enough that no one sees you disappear. The hallway leads you further into the estate, where you find a small room, perhaps an office or parlour, with floor to ceiling bookshelves and several pieces of furniture. The noise of the party is muffled, and you’re allowed silence to think- not that that’s easy, even with the respite.

Because despite being in solitude, your mind is stuck on Sunwoo’s hands trailing up your back and down your sides, Sunwoo's breath against your cheek, Sunwoo's voice in your ears-

Your reveries are halted by the sound of the door opening, that cursed head of dark brown hair peeking around the opening and sending your stomach into a tailspin again.

"I was wondering where you had run off to," he chuckles as he steps into the study, not understanding that you came there to essentially escape him.

"You should not be here," you suddenly say, breath coming out a little more breathless than you would have liked.

"Why not?" He clicks the door shut behind him as he surveys the room, perhaps checking for indecencies.

"Because...it's improper!"

Perfect, now you sound juvenile. In front of the only person who genuinely sees you as a lady at that.

“Are you feeling well m'lady? You're starting to sound like my mother.”

You huff, frustrated he doesn’t seem to understand the unreasonable state of mind you're in. Out of habit, you raise a gloved hand to your temple, as if that will quiet your thoughts.

Sunwoo does not take this lightly however; he crosses the room in a flash, a worried look crossing his face as he notices your posture and your flushed cheeks.

"Are you quite alright?" He asks, soft voice now laden with concern as he removes his glove, and raises his bare hand to your cheek, the coolness of his fingers doing little to calm the erratic beating of your heart.

In fact, you jump slightly at his touch, and this doesn't go unnoticed by him, a remark already tumbling out of his plush lips.

"Don't appear so troubled, it is only me."

"That is precisely the problem," you exhale, nearly throwing yourself into his arms as your lips crash into his.

A muffled, maybe even surprised sound escapes his lips upon first contact, and his free hand lands upon your hip to steady the both of you. At least at first.

What was truly surprising was how his grip subtly tightened around your dress, bunching in the beading and embroidery as he holds you impossibly close to him. He moves his lips against yours, and there is where you find the reasoning for all of the flowery depictions of this embrace you had read about all these years.

You collect your restraint and pull away slightly, only to find a flustered and smiling duke staring back at you.

“Well-” he pauses, just barely catching his breath, “I would hardly call that a problem.”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

the boyz masterlist

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[evilwickedme]

I said I'd never do jumblr content again and yet here I am because this keeps coming up and it's like the only thing I can think about. That said I will not hesitate to turn off reblogs if y'all are horrible in the notes again, and be warned that I will be blocking anybody who supports any of the theories I mention immediately

There is no such thing as a conspiracy theory that isn't antisemitic. There is no such animal

Antisemitic conspiracy theories go back thousands of years. The ones that still have the most hold on culture to this day are the blood libel, and the protocols of the elders of zion

The blood libel was an accusation that would be brought against Jewish populations in Europe often but especially around Passover claiming that we were killing Christian children for ritual purposes, usually to use their blood for baking matza or other nonsense (it is important to me that you know that this is nonsense. It is horrible and damaging but also to the core a ridiculous lie that never at any point made any sense. They just didn't care). Debatably this trope is present in the merchant of Venice. Undebatably Jews were killed because people did and still do sincerely believe this

The protocols of the elders of zion is a fictitious document published in Russia at the very beginning of the 20th century, supposedly detailing the meetings of the Jewish people who secretly run the world. The protocols were almost immediately proven to be a rip off of another document - ah, plagiarism - but that hasn't stopped antisemites from embracing it wholeheartedly (special thanks fuck you to Henry Ford for publishing them in his newspaper, spreading it across the USA). It built on previous antisemitic tropes, from the greedy banker trope (Jews were forced to be money lenders in medieval Europe as it was forbidden in Christianity and Jews weren't allowed to join any guilds, preventing them from making money in any other capacity - the reason why there are so many Jews in Hollywood is identical, but in the early 20th century) to the concept of dual loyalty (i.e. Jewish are loyal to ourselves above all else and cannot be trusted to be loyal to the country where we live, see: modern trope that every Jew is probably loyal to Israel and the subsequent idea that it's okay to ask every single diaspora Jew how they feel about Israel immediately upon meeting them). It's also worth noting that the word cabal, used to denote the shadowy organizations that supposedly control the world, comes from kabbala, which is Jewish mysticism

The idea of lizard people, created by a guy literally named Icke because he is a gross human being, was designed to repackage the antisemitic shadow cabal concept to be supposedly more palatable

Most qanon theories also build on all of this, such as world leaders preying on children (remember pizzagate?)

But more importantly conspiratorial thinking always positions you as the good guy standing against a mysterious "them", an other which is influencing things behind the scenes. The Jew is the ultimate other, and specifically an other that supposedly forms a shadowy world government, controlling everything and yet somehow not managing to get rid of antisemitism (see: protocols of Zion, lizard people, we control Hollywood and the government which is of course conspiring against you). There is no way to decouple the idea of an evil shadowy organization (usually also referred to as a cabal to really hammer it in) from antisemitism and antisemitic tropes

And this means that even supposedly "harmless" conspiracy theories attract antisemites and train people who aren't necessarily rabid antisemites to confirm those kinds of biases. Obviously Qanon and lizard people are antisemitic, but what does the moon landing have to do with Jews? Well, it was Hollywood and the government that faked it, obviously. Hell, even the conspiracy that Taylor Swift is secretly a lesbian and is either still secretly dating or is exes with Karlie Kloss is riddled with antisemitism -

Okay so I need to explain my position on this because I fucking hate this conspiracy theory, and the fact that most people simply won't acknowledge that that's what it is. Firstly, Taylor Swift has stated that she is not gay or considers herself an ally at least three times off the top of my head, and specifically denied that she was dating Karlie Kloss. Secondly, outing people is wrong. Thirdly, the conspiracy theory hinges on the idea that she would be risking her career by coming out, except that she's proven that basically no controversy can come in the way of her career, she's already "come out" as an ally, donated to glaad and the equality act, promoted queer musicians & artists & designers (there was a song in the reputation tour that was dedicated to a gay designer every single night of the tour). So what's stopping her from coming out at this point? Mysterious forces, clearly. The antisemitism in that I've already explained, but also the virulent antisemitism among Kaylor shippers aimed at her husband and at the fact that she converted to Judaism is fucking disgusting

Again: even a supposedly harmless conspiracy theory leads to antisemitism and attracts antisemites

A few years ago I tried to rewatch white collar cause I remembered really enjoying that show as a preteen and after around a season I just couldn't stand it anymore, because all I wanted to do was jump into the universe and yell at Mozzie to shut the fuck up because these conspiracy theories were barely presented as a joke and never challenged even once by any of the characters. When I rewatched that 70s show it also fucking sucked, but at least it wasn't showing up in every single episode. The blacklist focuses entirely on a literal Cabal, that's what they're called

This stuff is so normalized and it's fucking everywhere and it's exhausting. Jews are to this day being murdered over this. I can't change the world by myself, unfortunately, but if you don't have a specific person to blame for your troubles, shut the fuck up. Just shut up. There is no conspiracy against you. Sometimes life just sucks. Or definitely does for the Jews who get shot at over this shit

Again, I'll be blocking anybody who parrots this bullshit in the comments but especially fucking gaylors y'all are one of the main reasons that being a fan of Taylor Swift's music is fucking unbearable. Just accept you can connect to music made by somebody different than yourself it's not that difficult of a concept

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

I’M STUCK ON THIS FUCKING PLANET. I’M STUCK ON THIS GODDAMN EARTH.

Tap photo for better quality

That’s right!! I’m talking even more about sinner bodies because I’m CRAZY!!! RAAHHH!! 🤪 SHES SO CRAZY WE CANT TAKE HER ANYWHERE!! 😝 it’s 3 in the morning and I can’t stop thinking about this goddamn TV.

I think Vox is genuinely the most fucked up character in this rewrite currently. Not really morally fucked up, there’s definitely worse people, but physical alterations in hell out of the main cast he definitely has it the worst. In my last post I talked about how Angel formed in hell and I want to go back to this because Vox did not form in hell as a TV or even a robot at all. He got formed on the road after dying in a car crash and was literally just this fucked up clump of wires and metal panels and had gross little robot hands and he had to make everything else himself and wait for his body to adjust to it, so he literally cannot regenerate normally. He didn’t even have a face yet or screen of any kind, just a little camera to see out of. If his screen shatters he needs to get a new one or if his body breaks he needs to get it repaired, thats why he’s able to upgrade his body and stuff.

And like yeah some tech sinners do just form as robots but Vox just is a fucking mess and I think about it all the time and thats why his demon form is all fucked up like that and I think thats partially another reason he hates Alastor’s ideals so much sometimes because hes like “technology bad!” even though he literally is also partially a tech sinner and hes just stupid but like without technological advancements Vox literally would have nothing like they wouldn’t’ve met, Vox would not have a company, etc, etc and thatd probably help a lot of people yeah like the Vees would not fucking exist but ignoring that, just on a personal relationship scale I imagine your “friend” being like “man I really hate the thing that gives you life and allows you to live a somewhat normal existence” hurts a bit.

Technological regeneration is a bit more confusing and hard to explain than biological regeneration since machinery can’t really “heal” in real life. The concept sounds almost bewildering, like you can’t cut a wire and have it slowly heal like skin would, you’d need a whole new wire. But Vox internally, the things that allow him to move and live how he does now, it’s the only part of him that he can heal, and to him, it’s still “defective”.

Vox is disabled mentally and physically; he has Autism, ADHD, and epilepsy, all of which he is unable to be medicated for due to his new body. These are all things that he hates to acknowledge and will become irrationally upset by if they are mentioned to the point he will actively to deny certain aspects of disability. Being a man from the 1900’s-1950’s his views on mental disabilities and mental illnesses are… less than uh.. “acceptable” for today’s standards. He often disregards slurs towards this being called slurs and insists that “They used to just be words” or “It’s a medical diagnosis.” yet still gets incredibly upset when he is ever called a slur that actually could apply to him. In a way he tries to come off as purposely ableist so that he doesn’t have to confront this aspect of himself that he doesn’t understand. His knowledge in technology or sharks or economics aren’t “special interests” to him, they’re just “regular things a man likes”. He can’t process what a hyperfixation is. He doesn’t know that it’s normal for him to be unable to speak on occasion or that certain textures make him severely uncomfortable. These are either seen as weaknesses or “average people things”. Aside from how terribly disabled people were treated back around the 50’s, he views the neurodiverse aspect of his mind as something that only serves to further push him from grasping the feeling of regular humanity again.

For physical disabilities, he doesn’t lie or deny that he has epilepsy, yes he has an intense disdain for mentioning it, but for very few people he is close with he will disclose this information to them privately. There are a very select few people that are aware of this and two of those people are Velvette and Alastor. This post isn’t really about diving into Vox’s epilepsy so I’m keeping this concise because I have another post to put all of that in. Hope you all enjoy the wacky art :)

The binary says “Trust us” for anyone curious

[solarspringg]

More of My Marauders Headcanons —Part 2

• James talks to himself a lot. He will have full-on conversations with himself when he’s alone. He’ll also laugh to himself when he thinks of a joke. His friends used to think it was super weird when they first met each other but they got used to it.

• Peter can’t whistle. He’s tried to learn so many times but he just can’t do it.

• Lily is extremely good at chess. It’s insane how good she is. The only one that’s gotten close to beating her was Remus, but she still remains undefeated.

• Both Sirius and Regulus cannot handle spicy food. Sirius pretends he can and acts all tough, but ten seconds later he’s cursing up a storm about how hot the food is. Regulus on the other hand will freeze and then chug a bunch of milk, suffering silently.

• Remus doesn’t use bookmarks when he reads. He’ll either dog-ear the pages or just lays the book down on the page he’s on. He also loves to annotate, but it’s nothing inspiring, mostly stuff like “Damn that sucks” or “Fuck you [character name].”

• Marlene cuts her own hair and bleaches/dyes it all the time. Every week she dyes the ends a different color. Mary has begged her to go to a real salon since it’s so choppy and fried but Marlene refuses.

• James is tone deaf but will still sing his heart out despite it. He loves karaoke and his go to song is Fernando by ABBA. Sirius loves to sing along with him.

• Mary talks fast and uses her hands while she does so. Sometimes she has to be told to slow down because she gets really fast when she’s excited.

• Sirius is a great artist. He sketches when he’s bored in class, either on himself or on his homework. He draws his friends all the time in his sketchbook. James, Remus, and Peter also allow him to draw on them whenever he wants.

• Pandora loves anything that has to do with fortune telling. She always have tarot cards on her person and will give out free tarot readings to anyone who asks, or she’ll randomly grab someone’s hand and read their palms.

• Dorcas loves fashion and has the most killer fashion sense ever. Every outfit she puts on looks like she just stepped out of the cover of Vogue. She’s also a god at the sewing machine and makes a lot of her clothes.

• Marlene learned how to sew because she’s always tearing her clothes, mostly by playing sports, and didn’t want to buy new ones. Dorcas taught her.

• Barty is excellent at mental math. Bro is literally a walking calculator and it’s insane.

• Evan is ambidextrous (can use both his left and right hands equally). However, once he somehow forgot the actual name of the condition and said “My hands are bisexual.”

• Remus has the worst back issues ever. He has to sleep on his back and do a bunch of stretches for prevention. And when his back is in pain, he has to take a bunch of pain relief and taught his friends how to help stretch his back properly whenever it acts up.

• Regulus has glasses but refuses to wear them in public, having his contacts in 24/7. The only times he wears his glasses is when he’s alone or in his dorm with his friends.

• Dorcas is a clean freak and a bit of a germaphobe. Her dorm is always clean and organized and she has hand sanitizer on her 24/7.

• Mary constantly takes photos. She has a bunch of different cameras, from Polaroid to digital, and always takes the most aesthetic pics you’ve ever seen.

• Lily used to have a nasty habit of chewing on her hair and nails when she was anxious/nervous/stressed/etc. She now carries gum with her everywhere and chews on that instead.

• Peter will lie about the most random shit ever. Someone on the street asking him for his name? He’ll say it’s John or something. When he orders food sometimes he puts on a fake accent. Australian is his current favorite. He’ll even make up random fun facts, and then when someone asks if that’s true, he’s like: “No just made it up.”

• Pandora can be super blunt. She’ll just say whatever she’s thinking and has no filter. However, over the years she’s been learning to control it as she’s hurt a few people’s feelings because of it.

• Evan hates food that is super sweet. He has the exact opposite of a sweet tooth; every time he eats something really sweet he feels like he just gained a million cavities. He prefers savory.

• Barty actually has super light brown hair (almost looks blond) but dyes it black. The first time he did it he used fabric dye because it was the only thing around and his friends made fun of him for weeks because of how bad it looked.

• Regulus was forced into playing piano as a child. At at first he hated it but grew to love it. Whenever there’s a piano, Regulus will sit down and play something. When he’s stressed or anxious he’ll tap his fingers as if he’s playing piano as it soothes him.

• Sirius hates tea. Always hated it when he was a kid and his parents would make him drink it constantly. Even smelling the aroma of certain teas gives him emotional whiplash. He much prefers coffee and likes it black with sugar.

Here’s another list of my marauders headcanons! Ahh I love making these so MUCH. They’re so much fun :))

[scribbledghost]

The Visitor - Part II

Pairing: Vessel x Fem!Reader (Vessel the character, not the real man behind the mask)

Rating: T

Word count: 1,619

Summary: Vessel continues to do his best to shield his visitor from Sleep's anger. His attempts are... unfortunately inadequate.

Notes: 3rd person POV, use of she/her pronouns for reader. Features II for a bit. Brief discussions of trauma/mental pain.

Part one can be found here. || Part three can be found here.

Today has been... difficult for Vessel's charge.

Or at least, what passes for "today" in Sleep's domain: the standard hues of grey and black are infiltrated by dim light, like a sunrise through heavy fog.

Either way, it pains Vessel to see her like this - curled in on herself, weeping and shaking, having endured one of Sleep's visions. Having survived an attempt at being broken down.

Vessel had already informed her that in order to leave, she must uncover and overcome her pain. He conveniently forgot to mention this mostly consists of reliving it until it is conquered.

At the time, he thought the lie by omission was to protect her.

But now, all he feels is guilt for not properly warning her.

He kneels beside her, gently placing a hand upon her head to open up the connection between them. Vessel flinches at the sheer level of anguish, but wades through nonetheless as he maneuvers some of her pain, relocating what he can from her mind to his.

It's not much. And it's nowhere near enough. But he hopes it helps, if even for a brief moment.

You cannot save her, my vessel.

Sleep's voice echoes in his mind.

I can try.

Vessel can feel Sleep's anger; it's been building ever since the visitor's arrival. Ever since Vessel deviated from the plan Sleep so obviously laid for him - ever since Vessel revealed that he would not be swayed so easily this time by his Deity.

The domain rumbles, a frequent occurrence as of late.

But he remains unmoved.

He simply continues to kneel beside his visitor, his hand on her head in what he hopes is a comforting gesture as her cries begin to slowly quiet.

The others have begun to warn him, telling him in hushed tones that he's playing with fire, that Sleep is more powerful than all of them combined. They remind him that, should he continue to brazenly disobey, not only will he wind up in harm's way, but so will they. And so will she.

He knows.

And yet, he cannot stop. He has tried - it's not as if he has no desire to protect the others or his visitor. But no matter how much effort he exudes, success still eludes him.

Even during the brief moments when he must leave her to her own devices, when he must devote his attention to other matters like the other vessels, rituals, or more proper devotion to Sleep, he has begun to slip.

He's become distracted.

His thoughts drift more often than they should, away from the task at hand and towards the woman. A cardinal sin when he should be worshipping Sleep with his undivided attention.

It seems as though the only times he can focus is when he is with his visitor, just as he is now.

I will tear her apart before I allow her to take you from me, my vessel.

A dark streak of panic jolts through Vessel, and he knows Sleep feels it too, for he is met with a smug condescension that can only come from a being older than he can comprehend.

I am yours.

Then, before he can properly shield his ruminations, he continues:

Do not harm her. Please.

He winces at himself for allowing the thought to slip. A hum echoes in his brain.

What are you willing to do to keep her safe?

Anything.

Again, he thinks before he can stop himself. A cold dread settles itself over him as he realizes that, despite all his arrogance and determination in resisting his Deity, he has just given it a sign of weakness.

Anything... Sleep all but purrs.

He remains on his guard, but as the silence between him and Sleep continues, he allows himself to focus more on the woman. She's ceased her cries, but she is still curled in upon herself, as if attempting to shield herself from the outside world. The hand Vessel has placed on her head moves, as if of it's own will, and he gently strokes his thumb along her scalp.

He startles to a pause when Sleep speaks to him again.

I will hold you to that claim, my vessel.

With that, he feels Sleep's presence leave him for the time being.

He tries not to think too heavily on what the Deity means with its statement.

He's done unspeakable things in its name - things he will never be forgiven for. Things he will never be able to atone for, no matter how hard he tries.

And yet, a dark pit of dread in his stomach tells him his prior sins will all pale in comparison to whatever Sleep will ask for next.

Vessel desperately pushes the thoughts aside to focus on his charge.

He tries to strengthen the mental connection between them; tries to open the channel wider so as to take more of her pain and make it his own instead. She must feel the intrusion, for she shifts her head slightly away from his hand.

"Stop reading my mind," she mumbles.

Vessel's knee-jerk reaction is to correct her - to explain that he's not "reading her mind", but rather attempting to lessen her mental torture. But he holds his tongue, not wanting to upset her further.

"My apologies," he murmurs softly.

It is then that she turns to him, still in the fetal position but at least facing him now.

"I suppose you know now," she says absentmindedly.

"Not exactly," Vessel gently corrects. He is honest - he does not know the exact source of her pain; just that the pain itself exists in blinding quantities.

"The visions that Sleep gives you are not shared with me. I can only feel your suffering. I do not know the cause of it."

She gives a small, noncommittal hum in response.

"Good."

Vessel hides the slight sting he feels. She owes him nothing, after all; especially not any sort of deep insight into her driving forces. Yet, the sting is still present.

He wants to help her. He wants to ensure her safe return to wherever she was before this. He wants to know her as thoroughly as he is able.

But he understands the walls. He understands the apprehension.

He felt much the same when he was first brought to Sleep's domain. Vessel has only vague memories of his guide from those days - memories that fade more with each passing increment of time. But he remembers the distrust. The sinking feeling that he could not be sure of his guide's intentions.

He now wishes he had held the same level of discernment when Sleep itself offered him its bargain: loyal, unending devotion in exchange for everything Vessel could ever want.

At least, everything he thought he wanted.

Now, however, his wants directly contradict those of Sleep. This becomes glaringly obvious the next time Sleep bonds with his mind, after several minutes of silence has passed.

Leave her. Two requires your presence.

Vessel pauses, doing his best to come up with some sort of excuse to not leave his charge while her first vision is still so fresh.

She is in pain. She is still in need of guidance. I can help her along her path if I am closer to her.

The ground rumbles. His best was not enough.

You said you would do anything to keep her safe, did you not? Sleep says. And yet, such a simple task seems to be... too excessive. What a pity.

"No," Vessel blurts out loud as he stands abruptly. He understands the implicit threat in Sleep's words.

The woman makes a questioning sound as she gazes up at him from where she still lay on the ground, eyes bleary and tired.

"I... I apologize," Vessel says as he scrambles to correct his mistake. "Sleep has summoned me. I must take my leave, just for a moment."

She makes another sound, a mixture of resignation and disappointment. Vessel quickly kneels next to her, placing another hand on her head.

"I will return. You have my word."

Her eyes close, a miniscule nod moving her body.

Leave her, my vessel.

This time, Sleep's command leaves no room for disagreement, and Vessel turns towards the inky ether.

He moves quickly, bonding with his fellow vessel's mind to discern his location amongst the monotony. II is not difficult to find - Vessel typically only needs to follow the sound of snares and cymbals.

But this time, it seems that II is not in the middle of his usual activity, but rather he is resting beneath the same red tree adorned with ribbons that Vessel had brought his visitor to not long ago.

"You asked for me," Vessel says.

II jolts, almost as if Vessel must have woken him. But then again... why would II summon him if he were asleep?

"What do you mean?" II asks when he fully wakes.

"Sleep informed me that you requested my presence. It seemed urgent."

II pauses, staring Vessel up and down before carefully choosing his next words.

"I... don't recall asking for you, Vessel."

He feels a familiar sense of rage begin to simmer low in his body. But before he gets the chance to process or act on the feeling, a shrill scream echoes through the atmosphere.

Vessel knows the regular sounds of Sleep's world intimately. He can pinpoint the source each shuffle, grunt, groan, and melody. But this shocks him.

The scream does not sound like any of Sleep's creatures.

But if it does not belong to any of the domain's inhabitants, then that means -

"Vessel, don't-"

He does not allow II to finish his warning as he breaks into a dead sprint through the fog.

[gem-de-lune]

seunghan true personality?

I'm answering this in 2 ways so we can get a good scope of things from different angles.

Tarot!

For the tarot portion, i pulled from the Book of Shadows Tarot Vol. 2. I will be sharing pics bc the meanings of the cards are a bit diff than normal.

Starting out, I pulled 3 cards when I asked this question in the indicated order:

2 of swords

3 of swords

Knight of wands

This is a person who is very intelligent. Too intelligent thatsits's more like a curse of being too self aware. Far too prone to depression. They are introverted as in they practice introverted thinking- OR rather they try not to be alone because when they are alone they are overwhelmed and burdened by their own thoughts and feelings. They have a lot of emotions and will intellectualize them, but it overwhelms them. They try to be rational but their emotions are a bit too steamy, a bit too difficult to reign in if they allow themself to go that route. So a lot of times they may either express their emotions through an art form or writing it down- OR more frequently turn to look at others to make these difficult choices in order to understand whether or not he is doing something wrong.

There is a lot of self hatred here, and a lack of self worth. But a lot of motivation that stems from looking out for and caring about others. In other words, Seunghan seems to gain strength from others, and he can't be alone or he self destructs. His strengths lie in diplomacy and always being able to see things matter of factly. He doesn't fight often, he doesn't argue based on feelings of his own. However this type of person is easy to manipulate because you just need to make them feel guilty about others whilst also give a convincing rational argument. Even if there are reasons why you are wrong, he will listen if it causes him enough stress. He will shut down and just agree to let it be over. Because he is kind and wants people to be happy, and does not want to be the cause of conflicts at all.

That being said- with the Knight of Wands, this is someone who again- doesn't like being alone. This can translate to a person who if he could, would like to have a romantic partner. He wants someone to put his everything into so he doesn't have to deal with himself. It gives him a sense of belonging and self worth to do so.

Now let's talk Astrology!

Seunghan is a Libra Sun, Virgo Mercury, and he could be a Sagittarius or Capricorn Moon, but we cannot be sure since we do not know his time of birth and he's legit right on a teenie tiny cusp.

But for the sake of this reading lets say he's a Sagittarius moon.

These placements make for a very charming and charismatic person. The way he speaks is very mecurial. Anxious nervous energy but very smart and organized. He may enjoy writing or organizing his thoughts.

As a Libra, these people classically tend to avoid confrontation. They just don't see the point in it, they prefer not to deal with it. But I would say if they do have to deal with it, it is always abrasive and messy because they have no experience in dealing with it lol.

Especially if we assume he is a sag moon. That would make him very hot headed at heart, but he probably reigns it in by not engaging or letting things out through another form of expression.

That leads me into Mars in Pisces. He is extremely artistic and very passionate. Very romantic, very empathetic. If he expresses things in any way, it's through arts and particularly dance because of the fire energy here needing to be let out somehow.

He also has Libra venus. With a lot of Libra energy you have that intellectual curse and lack of self worth. Libras hate to be alone. They find their worth in others, they find their indentities through others. When Libras cannot do that, they become bitter people and completely become unrecognizable.

Final Thoughts:

Seunghan is a sweet guy. He has a lot of selflessness and a lot of heart. He needs to care for himself more, and he needs to learn his worth more. He could also work on having conversations about what his personal thoughts are, but he is scared of coming off abrasive. He is intelligent and fair. He is an honest person to a fault and too easily manipulated when it involves emotions because he cares more about others than himself.

Hope this was insightful!

RIIZE IS 7!!

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers : 1x07 Ocean's Apart (Part 2)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Ocean's Apart

It just occurred to me that this scene does not take place in the normal Bridgerton drawing room. Is this Hastings House? Or another room in the Bridgerton home? I haven't paid enough attention to Daphne's story line to notice.

Anyway... Daphne makes good on her promise and has arranged a meeting between Colin and Marina. And I should note the title of the episode -- ocean's apart. It is, of course, a nod to Daphne and Simon's issues, but also to Colin and Marina. And... as I brought up in the previous post -- a nod to the Leander and Hero myth, where the two lovers are split by the ocean. Simon and Daphne, obviously, will find their way back to each other. But Colin and Marina truly are ocean's apart. They are just not meant for each other, and this scene is going to close the book on their romantic story.

Colin starts out by asking for confirmation about the pregnancy. But his wording of it is interesting -- Lady Whistledown cannot be true. Right? Right??? He's so deeply in denial, despite everyone around him telling him otherwise. There was an ounce of hope he had in the faith he had in his own love that the pregnancy was a made up lie to scorn him (them).

Marina is done with the lying. She didn't even want to be there, and is only there because Daphne requested her and she can't really say no to a duchess. She tells Colin the pregnancy is real, and Colin's whole world shifts in that moment (and a nice bit of physicality as Colin himself shifts).

He kind of stutters, asking her really - you're with child? He looks her up and down, too, as if wanting physical proof of this.

Then he says something that is very telling -- 'I do not understand, we were to be wed. You said you loved me.'

And this is where Colin's romantic nature is his undoing. First of all, marriage and love are inextricably linked. You agree to marriage than you agree that love is its basis. In a time where it really was rare, that is one of the values that is at Colin's core. And it shakes him to his very core that Marina lied to him.

Marina tells him - I hold you in the highest regard. Admitting, though, that she does not love him. And that is when Colin's heart is truly breaking. If she had been pregnant and still wanted to get married, was actually in love with him, he could continue playing the romantic hero, could continue drowning in his own love. But she's ripping the mask of the rouse now. She used him, yes manipulated him, and yes used his own love to her advantage.

He gets angry, but it's retrained but emotional. Colin isn't a lash out kind of guy, not like Simon or Anthony. But he does show his hurt visibly, and the words come pouring out as he tries to sort out the situation. He is at an utter loss that she doesn't feel the same way, he's processing all the lies, and claims she's committed a great sin - and it's funny, that yes, the sin is being with child out of wedlock and using someone to cover it up... yes, the sin is, in general, lying. But what it is the most for Colin -- what hurts him the deepest, is lying about love him back.

Colin lives for love. He feels love deeply. He wants to be loved back just as deeply. And for Marina to cast that all aside, to claim she was not there in it with him, feels like the biggest part of the betrayal.

Marina lays down a huge dose of reality though. She stands up for herself, claiming she's not going to allow herself to be shamed by either Colin or Daphne (who isn't really reading in the corner). And while they may think she's a villain, the situation just isn't black and white like that. She takes a moment for herself, when she says that no one ever led her in the right direction, and no one taught her any better - so she's been trying to do what's best for herself.

And it's important to note that Marina did like Colin as a person. She picked him because he was kind and empathetic. That she does appreciate the depth of how he loves. But in all of this, not only was she needing to look after herself and her unborn child, her heart had been utterly broken. And she just cannot with the idyllic love. She cannot with how Colin lives in the clouds with his fantasies. Her reality is a much, much darker place.

The more she talks, the more his heart breaks, and you can see him start to well up. And this is when the emotion, the betrayal, the hurt, the anger really come out. He mocks her a bit when starts saying that he should feel lucky that she chose him? And, it's interesting, as he yells at her, it gets more emotional and for a moment slightly unhinged, and then he immediately pulls himself back and recomposes himself. Another reminder that even at the height of emotion, Colin always pulls inward.

After he collects himself, he tells her, basically, that he's done with her. (It's deliciously dramatic, lol)

She doesn't really have anything else to say, either. But she's upset, too. It's an emotional confrontation. She's sad for herself and her situation. But she truly never really wanted him to be hurt by any of it either. She wasn't being malicious. She was looking out for herself. And now it's all unraveling and she's alone again.

As Colin moves to leave, he pauses and turns one more time to her to say -- the ironic thing is that if she had told him about her situation, he'd have still married her. Because he loves her that much.

And here's my thing about that....

First of all, note the present tense when he says 'that is how in love I believe myself to be'. His heart is shattered, but that love he (thinks he) feels is still very real and still very present. And it's going to take going to Greece to get over it (and even then he won't really be over it until she again firmly shuts the door on him a second time).

Colin loves love and wants love so badly that he's holding onto things that aren't good for him because the alternative is not having that love at all, and he really just doesn't know what to do with it.

The second thing is that hero complex that's coming into play -- the fact that saving her from her predicament means that he'd have self worth. He places a lot of his self worth on his ability to help others, and it's reiterated in this sentiment. If you hadn't deceived me, I would have helped you, I would have been your hero, I would have done anything and everything for you. Because Colin seems to believe that is conditional - and if he isn't helping you, isn't saving you, well then, what good is he? (ah, we will be revisiting this later...)

But here's the thing, the thing that really gets me. As romantic as this sounds? It's TERRIBLE.

If Colin had married Marina, either knowing or not knowing of the pregnancy, he would have ended up utterly miserable. His love would always be unmatched. Even if she did grow affection for him -- and who knows, maybe she would have, but I kind of doubted it. Colin is a bit smothering when in love. And he really needs a partner that not only can cope with that, but doesn't mind getting lost in that themselves.

Not only are Marina's feet a bit too firmly on the ground (she is a practical realistic, who would always burst Colin's bubble) her heart belonged to another and it got shattered. And I don't know that she'd ever really allow anyone to hurt her in that way again, so there'd always be something between them.

Their marriage would end up being incredibly cold. Marina would push him away. Colin would become resentful. And he'd probably throw himself at his kid or traveling or whatever work he could find. But would never really feel that sense of connection that he so desperately desires.

Marina only sees him for her use to him, not for who he is himself. And he may not realize it yet - but he does need someone who likes him for him, not someone who needs him.

But... (I say because I can't shut up about this scene) Colin needed to go through this. It's not a bad thing that he's dosed with reality every once in a while. It's not a bad thing that he gains the experienced of not having been loved back. It's not a bad thing that he learns the difference between infatuation and real love - because he'll be able to recognize real love for what it is when it finally presents itself.

It's all, really, a part of growing up. And Colin is, after all, a young man in that awkward stage between child and adult, where you do go through all of this stuff.

So, we end the scene with a heartbroken Colin rushing away. This is the last time they'll see each other (until Season 2), and it closes the book on the Colin side of this story. (Marina's story will go on without him now...)

But this whole experience not only gives great insight into the type of character he is, but it's going to shape his world in a fundamental way, and have effects to his stories in later seasons.

And... that's where I'm going to stop for now.

[mikuni14]

I Hear The Sunspot - Ep 10

I won't lie if I say that series that create dramas out of nothing, creating problems and scenarios that are far removed from the ordinary lives of millions of people around the world, kind of annoy me 🙃 Kohei and Taichi's relationship is getting more and more weird and unnatural, and they had such a good flow in episodes 1-6. Taichi, who didn't allow any bullshit and openly confronted Kohei and everyone he met, is now unable to communicate. Kohei, who had a tendency to blurt out confessions about his feelings, is now unable to communicate. We also had scenes of them being shy, hiding, which were eventually resolved by contacting/meeting/ even visiting home, and we keep going back to the same point over and over again. Although that's not even it: I complained about the repetition, but now they're back to a point where they never even were. Besides, I really have the impression that the series creates artificial drama, the lack of communication has reached astronomical proportions, they either do not talk to each other AT ALL, and when they meet for a second, when they are not with Maya, they barely talk about important stuff, which was not a problem for them before. They cannot talk, they cannot make an appointment and meet with each other alone like adults, they do not use phones, they cannot get rid of Maya for 5 seconds.

I am generally furious with Kohei that he cannot once and properly put Maya down for her words and behavior towards Taichi, if someone spoke shit like that about someone I like - not even my close friend or crush, and someone like that is supposedly Taichi for Kohei - we would have a serious conversation about it: either stay and shut the fuck up, or leave.

I absolutely hate how Maya described Taichi not knowing him at all and how Kohei immediately thought of it when he saw Taichi making a decision about his life, career and future. What the actual FUCK. Am I the only one who sees Taichi's life as being quite lonely and supporting himself and going to college and working and helping Kohei? And how he has to think about himself and his future because he has no supportive parents and no one will do it for him? How can anyone even think of him as doing it all thoughtlessly or on purpose? Or that he "abandons Kohei" because he is a stupid and cruel person who never cared? ☹

What is the point of this BL at all, since there has been no BL for the last 4 episodes, and the main characters are drifting further and further away from each other with each episode. Why don't they struggle with all these adversities, problems TOGETHER. What is the point of all this, since there is no "togetherness" in it! 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I just... I just love Kohei so much and he seems very lonely to me now. I started shipping him with Chiba-kun ngl, with whom he currently has the most chemistry and scenes lmao

On the one hand, it's not so good that the grandfather isn't more helpful and advising on the young man's important life decisions, on the other hand, the fact that he doesn't make a drama out of these decisions is a big relief for him 😊 Even if Taichi makes a bad decision, he'll have a place to go back to and he'll have the support of his grandfather, who won't make him feel bad about it or say "I told you so". Taichi is still young, he can do whatever he wants, he can go back to college someday, these are no longer the times when people had to make the most important life decisions before the age of 25, which were also irreversible. I think it was a good scene.

But what's worst about all this is that the series got itself tangled up in its own plot, because we don't have a single hint since ep 6 that Taichi is responding to Kohei's feelings, so this whole drama makes no sense. Since they have nothing in common romantically, if they want, they can meet up after work/school (although they haven't managed to do that yet lol) as friends, write to each other (also something they can't do) and live their own lives. Kohei can meet up with Maya since he prefers her company anyway, and Taichi can pursue his career. After all - there is no BL in this BL, so why the drama?

This show has become such a mess. But it would still be a "managable" mess if Kohei and Taichi had more than one scene per episode where something actually happened between them. And we didn't even have the aftermath of the famous "what if I didn't hate it". Like it never happened...

[vickyvicarious]

The Count has come. He sat down beside me, and said in his smoothest voice as he opened two letters:— "The Szgany has given me these, of which, though I know not whence they come, I shall, of course, take care. See!"—he must have looked at it—"one is from you, and to my friend Peter Hawkins; the other"—here he caught sight of the strange symbols as he opened the envelope, and the dark look came into his face, and his eyes blazed wickedly—"the other is a vile thing, an outrage upon friendship and hospitality! It is not signed. Well! so it cannot matter to us." And he calmly held letter and envelope in the flame of the lamp till they were consumed. Then he went on:— "The letter to Hawkins—that I shall, of course, send on, since it is yours. Your letters are sacred to me. Your pardon, my friend, that unknowingly I did break the seal. Will you not cover it again?" He held out the letter to me, and with a courteous bow handed me a clean envelope. I could only redirect it and hand it to him in silence.

This is Dracula at peak cruelty. He's got his smoothest voice, his best manners, his finest words about the friendship between them. He opens Jonathan's messages right in front of him, burns the letter right in front of him.

He could have let him think they got out, but he doesn't want Jonathan to keep harboring any hope. He also doesn't want him to think he can ask the people outside for help (which actually makes me believe they are more likely to try and help, which is why Dracula wants to prevent Jonathan seeking it from them). So he crushes both the hope for rescue from afar and help from nearby at once, by telling Jonathan that these letters were given to him, and of course by controlling what gets sent out.

He seems to have already opened and read the letter to Hawkins. But he waited to read the second letter until he is in front of Jonathan. The one to Hawkins has no important information, but it hints that the one to Mina does. If that letter was not in shorthand, Jonathan's life would almost certainly depend on how openly he had asked for help. Because that might have broken the facade of friendship. And by waiting until he was in front of him to read Jonathan's own words, Dracula ensured that it would be Jonathan who was 'responsible' for doing so. He engineered what he probably expected to be a high-stakes game, wherein he read the letter and depending on the contents either allowed Jonathan to try and come up with an excuse he could pretend to accept, or let everything end and attacked him.

The shorthand changes everything. It's infuriating, because Dracula cannot read or understand it. And he refuses to admit that or to allow Jonathan to lie to him about what it contains. So he threatens whoever would write such a thing, but seizes on the excuse of it not being signed to dispose of it without having to call off the game. And he is able to quickly pivot back to hurting Jonathan even more, by forcing him to watch the letter containing all his hopes burn away. (This could be another test as well. If he broke, if he lunged to save it...)

Then Dracula forces Jonathan to play along. It seems clear that he has been sitting in silence throughout this scene. Dracula makes him, if not talk, at least act. He has to be the one to redirect the new envelope. He has to physically hand it over to Dracula. His effort to get a message out was turned into a useless mockery in which he must participate.

And then Dracula locks him in the library and leaves him alone to stew for a while.

I do think that Dracula went off and burned the letter to Mr. Hawkins as well. If that went out it would potentially raise questions, at the very least about a letter to Mina that went missing, and also might screw up his carefully scheduled false timeline (as established in the dictated letters). There's no reason for him to actually send this letter. But by pretending he was going to, he was able to twist the knife a little harder, and get Jonathan to 'participate' again.

[wishful-seeker]

I have 0% tolerance for doctors anymore, if they treat me shitty once they will again, thus I'll either drop them or file a complaint.

Before my CRPS was diagnosed i was too scared to stand up to doctors. The pain made me SO DESPERATE i was willing to deal with anything. Now that i have this new undiagnosed illness i realized my body and mind PHYSICALLY cannot do that anymore.

The second to last time i didn't stand up for myself with a doctor i punched the medical bed as soon as she left the room, the last time i couldn't even hear what he said because i was busy restraining myself from punching HIM. i was seeing red, face twitching and everything. My body literally cannot take being quiet anymore. I do not care if i make things more difficult. I don't care if it takes longer to get diagnosed because im pushing for better treatment. I would rather stand up for myself and physically suffer more than let these doctors believe they are allowed to treat me like a dog. They don't treat me like a HUMAN, they don't see us as HUMAN. They see us as pests. A burden, a problem to solve. And if they can't solve you THEY FUCKING HATE YOU. but i think i hate them more.

Doctors are in a gross position of power over their patients, they decide if you live or die, your existence is in their hands, you beg them for help because they are your God and they spit in your face. Even if you literally cry and beg them to help they will give you NOTHING and i know this because thats what i did. I literally BEGGED these people sobbing to help my pain and they did nothing. They do not care about you. They never will. We are not people to them. Nurses are often the same way. I've had nurses and doctors lie straight to my face, make faces when i tell them my story, and do other horrible things.

I can't do it. I can't deal with it anymore. I will fight tooth and nail and be the biggest Karen in existence to these doctors the SECOND they treat me wrong.

I have found two. TWO doctors out of over 50 that i actually like. 2 that treat me appropriately and not like im a bug. 2 that treat me like a human being.