#but if it had been an outright cry for help not in code then.... the jig would almost certainly be up huh

[vickyvicarious]

The Count has come. He sat down beside me, and said in his smoothest voice as he opened two letters:— "The Szgany has given me these, of which, though I know not whence they come, I shall, of course, take care. See!"—he must have looked at it—"one is from you, and to my friend Peter Hawkins; the other"—here he caught sight of the strange symbols as he opened the envelope, and the dark look came into his face, and his eyes blazed wickedly—"the other is a vile thing, an outrage upon friendship and hospitality! It is not signed. Well! so it cannot matter to us." And he calmly held letter and envelope in the flame of the lamp till they were consumed. Then he went on:— "The letter to Hawkins—that I shall, of course, send on, since it is yours. Your letters are sacred to me. Your pardon, my friend, that unknowingly I did break the seal. Will you not cover it again?" He held out the letter to me, and with a courteous bow handed me a clean envelope. I could only redirect it and hand it to him in silence.

This is Dracula at peak cruelty. He's got his smoothest voice, his best manners, his finest words about the friendship between them. He opens Jonathan's messages right in front of him, burns the letter right in front of him.

He could have let him think they got out, but he doesn't want Jonathan to keep harboring any hope. He also doesn't want him to think he can ask the people outside for help (which actually makes me believe they are more likely to try and help, which is why Dracula wants to prevent Jonathan seeking it from them). So he crushes both the hope for rescue from afar and help from nearby at once, by telling Jonathan that these letters were given to him, and of course by controlling what gets sent out.

He seems to have already opened and read the letter to Hawkins. But he waited to read the second letter until he is in front of Jonathan. The one to Hawkins has no important information, but it hints that the one to Mina does. If that letter was not in shorthand, Jonathan's life would almost certainly depend on how openly he had asked for help. Because that might have broken the facade of friendship. And by waiting until he was in front of him to read Jonathan's own words, Dracula ensured that it would be Jonathan who was 'responsible' for doing so. He engineered what he probably expected to be a high-stakes game, wherein he read the letter and depending on the contents either allowed Jonathan to try and come up with an excuse he could pretend to accept, or let everything end and attacked him.

The shorthand changes everything. It's infuriating, because Dracula cannot read or understand it. And he refuses to admit that or to allow Jonathan to lie to him about what it contains. So he threatens whoever would write such a thing, but seizes on the excuse of it not being signed to dispose of it without having to call off the game. And he is able to quickly pivot back to hurting Jonathan even more, by forcing him to watch the letter containing all his hopes burn away. (This could be another test as well. If he broke, if he lunged to save it...)

Then Dracula forces Jonathan to play along. It seems clear that he has been sitting in silence throughout this scene. Dracula makes him, if not talk, at least act. He has to be the one to redirect the new envelope. He has to physically hand it over to Dracula. His effort to get a message out was turned into a useless mockery in which he must participate.

And then Dracula locks him in the library and leaves him alone to stew for a while.

I do think that Dracula went off and burned the letter to Mr. Hawkins as well. If that went out it would potentially raise questions, at the very least about a letter to Mina that went missing, and also might screw up his carefully scheduled false timeline (as established in the dictated letters). There's no reason for him to actually send this letter. But by pretending he was going to, he was able to twist the knife a little harder, and get Jonathan to 'participate' again.

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.226 thoughts

[Closing the Book]

(Topics: character analysis - Apocalypse/Juiz/Julia, thematic analysis - Rules/Unjustice, predictions - Unjustice vs. the Master Rules)

Apocalypse

I've heard of books making people cry, but this is ridiculous!

Ever since Juiz said she considered Apocalypse a member of the Union, I figured he'd get a big moment sooner or later, but I didn't think he'd die! I didn't even think he could die! I guess it makes sense, I just never really thought about it...

This definitely helps build on an idea I lightly touched on last week, that someone had to die to raise the stakes of this arc and make it feel less like it was a flawless, easy victory, but I stopped short at Juiz, who was already dead, not returning. I should have considered how much more impactful it would be for someone to die in real-time than to simply realize that someone else just wasn't coming back

With that in mind, Apocalypse is unfortunately the perfect character to do that with. He's been built up for a long time now to be less of an antagonistic force than he presented himself as, but ultimately, what would his place in the world be once the game concluded? Would Julia/Juiz just carry him around everywhere she went? Would he be condemned to sit in place in the Roundtable Room forevermore without any real purpose? Would he go back to sleep and be buried again? Or would he just fade away with the Gods and UMA?

This way, that question is resolved and Apocalypse is given a fitting send-off, where we remember him as more of a hardass taskmaster than a petulant villain. This little redemption concludes his role as quest giver while also giving closure to his friendship with Juiz, fully rounding out his character and making him much more memorable than his initial role as a talking MacGuffin

Furthermore, it also provides the perfect impetus for Julia to awaken Unjustice

Rules Are Made to be Followed

I've always wondered why Unjustice was one of the first two Negators to manifest. Undead makes sense, the whole point of the game is to go on for eternity, so having someone who can be present through the whole thing makes sense, but Unjustice always seemed like an arbitrary choice beyond just being a cool character concept

I now realize though that I am a fool, and Unjustice is the perfect Negator to be present in a game all about Rules. Justice, morality, chivalry - codes of conduct, laws, rules meant to guide how the individual and society interact, to maintain order and balance. Of course the Rules that govern the world, that dictate the very definition of right and wrong, are opposed by the vessel of Unjustice, who questions that definition

While UMA Justice is one of the current enemies, he hasn't at all been established as any kind of foil or parallel to Unjustice. Apocalypse, however, is quite literally the rulebook for the Gods' game, the judge, commissioner and referee for how the quests are conducted. UMA Justice likely upholds a sense of duty and chivalry in God's favor, but Apocalypse is, despite all appearances, a neutral party. He acts indignant when Quests are completed and becomes upset when they're skipped, but so long as the rules of the game are being followed, he accepts the outcome, as that's how it's meant to be

For a God or even a Master Rule to interfere with the proceedings of the game, to prevent the players from participating, to outright say "nevermind the rules of the game," clearly goes against the very purpose of Apocalypse's being. He was trying to fulfill his purpose as he was created for, and right at the end he was told to betray that purpose under threat of death. Soul retaliation against Apocalypse was, without exaggeration, an execution for the crime of staying true to the rules. In other words...

An Unjust death

Whatever Juiz's tragedy was, whatever Julia sees in Apocalypse's memories, it's plenty clear that Julia already understands the pain that Apocalypse felt being manipulated as he was, and the injustice that his death implies. The memories she's about to see will simply give her context and understanding, but the death of a friend is the necessary tragedy to trigger Unjustice's manifestation

Even more fitting, then, that this death was the final straw in a long line of injustices

It's Not Cheating When I Do It

"You're a UMA, and you can't even follow the Rules?"

"You're going to let [Sick] escape? Why are you interfering in the Sacred Quests?!" "[Because] Undead is boring."

"I'm calling the shots here. If you won't do what I ask, I'll just make you do it."

The "Rules" have been interfering, lying and cheating from the beginning. Any opportunity they get, they find a loophole to take advantage of a situation to get what they want and leave anyone and everyone else out to dry. The "game" has only ever mattered to Apocalypse; the Negators wanted out no matter what, and the Rules wanted to win no matter what. The Negators had the excuse of being made to defy the Rules, but the Rules themselves were always secretly designed to be able to bend in whatever way they needed to justify that they're always right

With that in mind, the role of the Negators isn't to demonstrate that Rules aren't necessary, but that the Rules as they exist are fundamentally wrong. Rules and order are necessary, even Negators have to follow rules, but the purpose of Rules needs to be the maintenance of order, not the retroactive justification of means. Rules are supposed to protect the ruled, not empower the rulers

This entire series, the entire power system, is an explicit analysis, deconstruction and critique of that aspect of our society. I'm not politically minded enough to suggest that UU proposes some kind of anarchist government system, but philosophically it certainly seems to advocate for a greater balance between freedom and order (another parallel to One Piece, I might add!!!). The inclusion of Unjustice is, in and of itself, a direct refutation of the current prevailing definition of justice, one that calls not for justice as a whole to be discarded, but examined and reconstructed

I think in a way this is reflected in Juiz's narrative as well

The Times Are A-Changing

Juiz spent eons developing her specific vision of justice, but in the end it never amounted to anything in its own time. The longer she maintained that vision, the more she lost sight of it, becoming entrenched in a distorted and arguably corrupted version of it until it finally resulted in the people she thought she could trust most to see her vision through betraying her for their own, incompatible visions. The things she was willing to do to make her vision come true ran counter to the original vision's purpose, and it was only when she found a new vision in someone else that she was able to finally let go of her old ways, embrace change, and rest

Julia, a young and naive version of Juiz, represents the entrustment of Juiz's justice with Fuuko, and the faith that Fuuko's vision of justice would create the legacy that Juiz had truly strived for since the beginning. No longer carrying the weight of the world on her own and insisting that her way is best, Juiz's new, refreshed self acts to ease the burden of another and believes in visions beyond her own

In L100, Juiz's inability to see from the perspective of others caused her to misread both Victor and Billy, costing her her most valuable ally and her arm respectively. Juiz believed that Victor wanted to die and couldn't see that he wanted her to be happy; Juiz believed that Billy wanted to betray the Union and couldn't see that it pained him to make enemies of them. Ostensibly she had faith in him, hence why Billy couldn't use Unjustice, but her faith was that he was trying to save the world, not that he was still an ally, and she paid dearly for that misapprehension

Julia did not make that same mistake

Julia believed in Apocalypse's justice, in his commitment to the game and desire to make the Union strong enough to create a truly equal clash between Sun and Luna's supposed ideologies, so while the same arm that Juiz lost was damaged, Julia was otherwise unharmed, and managed to bring her "betrayer" back to his senses and her side

In other words, everything that Juiz lost because of her justice, Julia was able to retain and regain on her behalf. Thanks to Fuuko's guidance, Julia became an embodiment of Juiz's redemption, and in turn became an agent of Apocalypse's

The question now, then, is what will be the outcome of Julia's newfound vision of justice

Rules Are Made to be Broken

It's clear that the idea of Julia's awakening is to turn the tide against Sun and the Master Rules all at once with Unjustice, but is it that simple? In the past, Unjustice's effect on the Master Rules was to prompt them to self-destruct, but like I said last week, would that be satisfying?

Soul was upset with Luna's interference before, but now he's going so far as to say the game doesn't matter. Is he simply accepting the situation and trying to win with the hand he's been dealt, or is there something more going on here? Is Soul being influenced by Luna the same way that he's influencing Apocalypse?

And if that's the case, are all of the Master Rules being influenced? Do any of them want the fight to happen this way? Luck clearly wants the Union to use Remember to make things more fair, but is that because Luck thinks it would be more fun, or is it because that little bit of encouragement is the best that Luck can do to defy Luna's will?

When Unjustice fully awakens, will history repeat with the Master Rules removing themselves from the equation, or will Julia, with her fresh eyes and new take on Unjustice's definition, free the Master Rules from their unjust masters and create the aforementioned balance between freedom and order?

As things stand, it doesn't seem like Tozuka intends to delve into the individual fights between the Union and Master Rules as I initially projected. Julia's role as the new Unjustice is absolutely going to shape what happens next, for better or worse, and in my opinion, forcing a team-up would be far more interesting than just singlehandedly ending all of the other fights. This would allow us to get the moments we were hoping to see from the match-ups while both keeping things fresh and reinforcing the themes of the story

Of course, it's also possible that Soul's ability will prevent Julia from taking out everyone else at once and she'll need to focus on him alone, or she really will clear the entire battlefield save for the Gods. Either way, with such a strong chapter like this, I'm more assured than ever that Tozuka knows exactly what he's doing

If nothing else, I will always have faith in an author who cries when drawing the death of one of their characters. Oda is on record as crying at Merry and Ace's deaths, so Tozuka doing the same for Apocalypse very clearly demonstrates the love he feels for his cast and story. If that doesn't convince readers that this is the story Tozuka wants to tell, I don't know what will

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[chevelleneech]

I'm not really interested in BL culture, never watched a single BL drama (or just romance in general, really. Every time I try I experience major cringe because it's all so corny to me). I didn't know about MewTul until I read your post. I've been watching their old moments for the past hour and reading the comments lol

Typical comments on their videos are really like "they are so bro-coded/this is me and my sib" and some from those anti-shippers who like acting holier-than-thou: "I tried to see what those delusional MewTul shippers see but really all I see between them is a friendship and brotherhood/can't wait till they reveal their wives so shippers can cry/They are so straight". And a few talking about a Gulf, how Tul is teasing Mew in some moments because he knows about Mew's romantic relationship with Gulf.

Going through those comments has really made my day before it even started. They make me feel so exited and give me a weird feeling of vindication. I can't help but imagine what it would be like if Jimin & Jungkook's reality also turned out this way.

Apparently Mew & Tul have been friends for 10 years, even before they hit fame. They really are special to each other. Their story is beautiful.

I’ve watched some BL, and the cringe factor is higher than I think it needs to be. I feel like a lot of the times it’s due to how strict they play into top = masculine, bottom = feminine stereotypes, as well as how often there’s an aspect of the top being controlling, that sits weird with many people.

Other than that, I do enjoy some of it, which is why I knew of Mew, Tul, and Gulf. I especially heard of MewG, but I had no idea things got as toxic as they did within that fandom space. So like you, seeing how similar it all was, made me think about Jikook and Tkk, because how could I not? It all sounds nearly exactly the same as what Tkkrs say about Jikook, and even some of the positive things mirror a portion of my thoughts.

I do feel like it’s okay to say I am certain that I think Jimin and Jungkook got something going on, but I would never put myself in a position where I’m calling people crazy things and being hateful toward Tae. It is never that deep, mainly because we genuinely have no way of knowing if we’re right. Which is exactly what happened to people spewing hatred.

I understand the ones who were saying, “They seem like genuine best friends.” Because that’s all they had to go on really, since actors within the Thai BL world do a shit ton of fan service. I’m talking a massive amount, spanning years. It’s why I, someone on vaguely aware of MewG even assumed there was smoke there. Because for at least two years, I thought they just weren’t out. I didn’t look deeply into them, and there are other Thai BL ships I can see cases for, because again, these men be attached at the hip.

However, apparently that’s just part of their contracts over there. They play it up to keep people interest for as long as possible, but also, a lot of these pairings, if their first show together is well liked, end up sort of stuck together for at least another series or two. Which is fun, but also in my opinion, is what fuels fans to get kind of lost in the lie. Because if for two, three years for example, these guys are presenting themselves as a couple on screen and off, why wouldn’t fans fall into believing someone more could have developed? That’s usually how relationships start anyway, don’t they?

Anyway, I don’t want to get too long, but yeah. I get why a portion of their shippers were more hesitant to state outright they might’ve been dating for real, because the fan service runs rampant in Thai BL. But the hateful people being unwilling to look at the photos being posted by MewTul, and seeing how close the families of both of them were, and seeing how domestic they were once more info became available, and at the very least thinking, “Maybe they really are dating?” is crazy to me.

And again, it does sit very close to how Jikook interacts compared to Tkk, but me personally, it doesn’t make me hopeful JM and JK will go the same route. Mainly because they live in two different societies and social classes, even. They are objectively more famous, and may feel they have more to lose. They also don’t live in a country where being openly queer is often celebrated. Which, same-sex marriage being legalized is what spurred Mew and Tul to decide to come out in the first place.

So I do genuinely think Jimin and Jungkook love each other dearly, and are in a relationship, but I don’t know think we’ll see them come out in a traditional sense. If they choose to stay together and be more open, I imagine it’ll be them living together or within close proximity, and carrying on their daily lives as best friends and bandmates. And it’ll either be something they don’t talk about to avoid having to acknowledge the elephant in the room, which is then obviously dating, or it’ll be framed as them having “grown closer, and gotten used to being together everyday during enlistment,” so now they do everything together in civilian life.

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

Yeah, so...Steven Universe Culture still attracts the most abrasive shithead tenderqueers from all sides, I see:

And saiscribbles is a goddamn idiot 40 year old turbovirgin and is probably a vaush enjoyer ...

Put her channel on my "do not recommend" like a week ago after this post happened , saw that Lily Orchard made another video about Hazbin, my eyes rolled into the back of my head when I realized I would probably have to keep lurking around Sais channel for a while anyway if I wanted to see sai covering that because "enemy of my enemy" is still my friend" kinda, got curious, opened a private window to see if she had reacted to Orchard's other Hazbin video yet, she did, chose to view that shit in a private window in case The Bad Baby Meteora Redesign V-Tuber decided to say anything especially heinous in her edging contest with Orchard, and I had to turn that shit off within the hour.. Because surprise surprise, saiscribbles is:

Ableist

Biphobic

ANTI KINK AT PRIDE ...

Which yeah, I just found out because she went on like a major kinkphobic tangent about it an hour into her reaction to Lily, which doesn't help since you can tell that Lily is definitely kinkphobic too, which I'm so glad I just have both channels on my "do not recommend" and now I definitely know that I won't be watching Sai again because at that specific point with Lily's covert anti kink at pride shit and queerphobia and Sai's outright anti kink at pride shit and queerphobia it really does feel like you're watching ...

Which really doesn't help when one of the abrasive lesbian muppets fighting with the other abrasive Indiana Grande lesbian muppet is already baby coded ...

2 Abrasive As Shit Abled-Bodied Butch Lesbian Muppets Who Refuse To Work On Themselves 1 Glass of Water... I wonder who will melt like Paper Jam Dipper first ...

I can't believe I had to use an Alex Hirsch gif again ...

Remember kids...

Daron Nefcy Says Kink at Pride:

Alex Hirsch says Cops at Pride:

Steven Universe cried out "Both Sides! UWU" and then Angel Dust sat down beside him during the parade in full Drag and Kinky boots and said: "STOP CRYING STEVEN UNIVERSE!!!! ;)" *STEALS YOUR VOICE IN ITALIAN* and then Star Butterfly asked Angel how to steal other peoples voices for chaos purposes and then they both started a riot...

Can y'all imagine being an adult and watching Hazbin Hotel while being anti kink at pride though? Or anti kink in general?

Because yeah, anti kink discourse of any kind? Also...

And the fact that I can even make jokes like this with the source materiel just proves how Star vs. The Forces of Evil is still THE GOAT, or maybe even the Rainbow Baphomet in the Gimp Mask that bridges between the dimensions that allow Star and Hazbin to fuck so much. No exceptions.

I wasted time watching a Steven Stans ableist, kinkphobic shit stream when I could've been finishing watching Sailor Moon...

And yes: Finally watching an anime in full for the first time ever, that you've been trying to access since your teen years, which just so happens to be one of the biggest inspirations for your all time favorite cartoon that only came out in your early 20s, in your early 30s, is still a better, healthier, use of time than being an abrasive bitch about Steven Universe in your 40s, no matter what side of that stupid discourse you're on...

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

004 Teaser Breakdown

Ok, now that I’m (reasonably) calm, I will attempt to take a look at the teaser to see what we’re dealing with here.

For reference, please see the teaser linked below.

I will focus on “chunks” of the teaser, rather than try to analyze it as a whole.

I’ll be nice and add a break here to keep a long post off people’s feeds.

We’ll start with the biggest part of it: El’s letter to Mike. 

El writes this letter on “day 185.” We don’t really know what that means, but it could refer to, as an Ask suggested to me, how long El has been in California. That probably is the most obvious explanation, but it runs against what we know of the timeline. The season 3 epilogue takes place “three months later,” which is somewhere around October, given that the season itself took place in early July. 185 days would be about 6 months later, which would put the writing of this letter in very late March or early April. Given that Easter in 1986 was in late March, and the school calendar we saw in set photos a year or so ago showed Spring Break at that time, this is odd.

It’s possible that they changed the timeline a bit after we saw that set photo. What would be especially odd to me is that this would skip over Will’s birthday, which seemed to be a natural fit. Mike visiting not only for Spring Break, but Will’s birthday, made a lot of sense. I suppose it’s possible that they didn’t think to include Will’s birthday, and they changed the timeline accordingly. However, even if this letter is being written in early April, and Mike visits a little after that, it would be strange to not mention Will’s birthday.

Another possibility is that the Byers left in September, not October. It would make more sense to move before the start of the school year, or, at least, very early on. If this were the case, then the letter would be written in early March, which would perfectly set up the timeline we already expected. One way or the other, though, there’s a timeline discrepancy. 

Ok, back to the content of the letter.

One thing to note, before I continue, is that the majority of the letter is a lie. We’ll break down each part. 

“I think I have finally adapted.”

Maybe. I mean, she’s going to school, and she’s developed skills and hobbies, probably with the Byers’ help. That diorama seems rather well made, not to mention made with love.

“I even like school now. I have made lots of friends.”

No, sadly. She seems like she’s trying, but she does not appear to have friends in this teaser. In fact, she gets outright ignored or bullied in the interactions we see.

“Even so, I am ready for Spring Break.”

Ok, yeah, probably. 

“Most because I get to see you.”

While I’m sure she wants to see him, I think she just wants the break.

“We will have the best Spring Break ever.”

Not that she has much in terms of a point of comparison, but, no. We have the benefit of audience omniscience here, so perhaps not technically a lie, but still false.

Now we can look at some other things.

Will is painting now, and his room is full of things he apparently made himself, including a reproduction of a Cure album cover.

It’s from Boys Don’t Cry, which probably has some significance that I don’t have time to get into here.

El and Will walk down the hall at school together, which is a hint that we might finally see them bond. 

El is carrying her Hopper diorama, and Will has a poster of Alan Turing. I’m told there was some leak (ugh) that they had to do a project on their heroes. El’s certainly makes sense, and it’s heartbreakingly precious. Will’s, though? We never had any inkling that he admired Alan Turing, or that he was particularly into computers and codes outside of his membership in the AV Club and knowledge of Morse Code. Let’s not dance around this, either. Alan Turing was, and still remains, one of the biggest victims of homophobia in Western culture. There’s no way someone who knows him well enough to do a project on him wouldn’t know of this. Will knows Turing is gay, but did the project on him anyway.

Next, Mike is on his bed reading a letter. It’s ostensibly this letter, but it could be another one since, as TVTropes says, Trailers Always Lie.  Watch it turn out to not even be a letter at all, but something else entirely.

The hell you wearing, Mike? I really need context for this, because this is definitely not how he dressed for school, and we’re not likely to see a weekend day until Spring Break starts. 

Also, the One Way sign of an arrow pointing to his closet is a bit...yeah. If Mike isn’t gay, then the Duffers are just being mean here. They literally have an arrow pointing to a closet. That’s as heavy-handed as it gets.

Next, Joyce gets sent a Russian doll. 

We kinda saw this coming with the dolls the show sent out to certain fans with large social media followings. I don’t know if these are the same types of dolls, but they’re Russian in origin. The package full of stamps also suggests it may well have been sent from Russia, or at least overseas. Do Hopper and the Russian smuggler guy manage to get a message out? How does he know where to find Joyce, though?

A lot happens next, and all fairly quickly.

The Byers home is invaded by...someone.

An apparent argument between Mike and Jonathan is interrupted when someone breaks the window. Someone is next to Mike, but it’s impossible to tell who it is.

We have vans and police cars going down a desert road. The van is probably the same one from this photo.

Speaking of that photo, I have a feeling that we see one of these men in this teaser. 

Someone is shooting back at the people invading the Byers house. He’s dressed like your typical movie detective, so he fits in with the two in the photo with El. I think that maybe some (relatively) reasonable police or government agents are investigating something, only for some genuinely bad people (Brenner’s men?) to show up. It’s tough to follow this fast-cutting sequence, but we don’t really see much of El, which leads me to think that she might get captured here.

We have a shot of Mike and Will inside the van looking very scared/dire.

I wonder if El has been hurt here. Will seems numb and speechless, but Mike seems to be in shock. Maybe they’re looking back at the house after making a getaway? 

There’s a shot of someone in front of an explosion, similar to the now well-known burning car scene.

Whoever it is, their hair seems short and they’re wearing a flannel shirt and white pants. There’s a white shirt under the flannel. This is a signature Will look, though El is also wearing flannel, too. Still, it doesn’t look like her hair. Here’s Will’s body double, though.

And here’s a photo I just saw today.

Nothing is certain, but it could really be Will. I’m not saying he caused the explosion, necessarily, but I’m not not saying that, either.

Unfortunately, we have to wait for this summer, apparently, to find out.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

I'm Yours, You're Mine | 7

Word Count: 4k

Genre: Smut, angst

Warnings: yandere!felix, sub!felix, dom!felix, sub!reader, dom!reader, mentions of violence, character death, drugging, noncon, breeding kink, binding, doggy

GIF CREDIT @christopherbanq

You wake up in a warm embrace, surrounded by the sweet, vanilla scent of Felix. Opening your eyes, you’re met with the splatter of his freckles that seem to glow under the sunlight. Everything feels perfect. It feels right, and you wish you could stay in this moment forever, protected from all that has happened or will happen. But you can’t, the memories of last night’s darkness creep around the corners of the brightly lit room, seeping the warmth out of it until everything is plunged into darkness.

Felix opens his eyes, his bright sparkling eyes, unaware of the darkness surrounding him, his ignorance protecting him. But his light diminishes as his gaze focuses on you.

“Noona, why are you crying?” He asks, arms pulling you even closer to him to the point where you don’t know where your skin ends and his begins.

“Chan…” You sputter, little sobs rattling your chest now. Felix frowns sharply, “Did he do something to you?”

You shake your head, your tears now flowing down your cheeks. “He’s in the hospital. Someone attacked us while we were coming back from the cinema yesterday.”

Felix bolts upright, pushing you at an arm’s length and scrutinizing every inch of your body. “Are you hurt?”

“No, but Chan is.” You wail, throwing your arms around him and burying your face in his shoulder. “He’s hurt really bad.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” For the first time, Felix doesn’t comfort you, his body rigid in your embrace and you hesitantly pull back to look at him. He is completely still, a numb look on his face. And you suddenly realize how thoughtless you’ve been. Despite their fight, Felix and Chan have been best friends for years, way before you met either of them. You should’ve told him as soon as it happened.

“Is he going to be okay?” His lips quiver as he speaks, his eyes terrified and looking through yours for help, and you could smack yourself for being so selfish.

“Oh, baby.” You breathe, pulling him into your embrace again. “I’m sure he’ll be okay.”

_______________________

He wasn’t.

Chan hasn’t woken up by the time you both visit him in the hospital, and the doctors were giving you vague responses every time you tried to ask about his condition--if he’s going to be okay, if he’s even gonna make it--and that petrifies you.

“We’re doing the best we can, but I can’t say anything for certain. He’s in a really bad condition.” The doctor informs you after you’d asked for the millionth time. You nod heavily and he lets you know that he’ll be there if there is anything else you need before he leaves. Yeah, right. The doctors were basically running from you at this point. You weren’t stupid. You knew what it meant.

“Thank you, doctor.” You mumble. You feel guilty, like this is all your fault for wishing for Felix to come back, like somehow this had been a bargain by a cruel god, giving you Felix back but taking Chan away.

As soon as the doctor leaves, Felix falls to the floor beside the bed sobbing. You run to him and wrap your arms around him and he immediately leans into your touch. “I did this.” He wails and your body goes stiff, your breath stuck in your throat, choking you.

But then he continues, “I wished for this the night he threw me out. I was so angry at him, but I never wanted it to really happen.”

Your body turns to jelly, the fear that had gripped it was so intense that it left no energy in its wake, and you can’t even caress Felix’s back to comfort him.

_______________________

The police interview you over and over, asking you to remember if there is something about the man who mugged you that you’re forgetting that could help identify him. You don’t have to force yourself to remember, you see him in your dreams every night, and every night you wake up screaming, poor Felix having to comfort you and kiss you back to sleep, never once complaining.

Through it all, those few agonizing days, you held a terrible secret close to your chest. You felt wretched just thinking about it, but you couldn’t help it. You knew he was going to die anyway. You just wished it would happen sooner than later so you could properly grieve instead of being stuck in this fake limbo, pretending like you think he’s going to make it, even to Felix, so that he wouldn’t completely break down.

You go to visit him less and less until you stop completely, which doesn’t paint you in a very favorable light in front of law enforcement or the doctors, letting Felix go on his own to the hospital every day. But fuck them. What do they know about the pain you’re going through? The guilt?

When it finally happens, you can’t believe it. They say he coded in the night and they tried to do everything to save him, even brought him back a couple of times, but it was ultimately useless. He was gone.

You had to see him for yourself to believe it. You went alone. Felix couldn’t bear to look at his best friend’s now dead body. He begged you not to go but you needed to.

As you gaze across his face, you’re thrust back to that night. You had heard that dead people often have a peaceful look on their face, but Chan didn’t look peaceful. It almost looks angry, accusatory, asking you why you weren’t there for him.

He doesn’t forgive you, but it’s okay. You don’t forgive yourself either.

_______________

The case officially turned into a murder investigation following Chan’s death. His body was handed over to the coroner to do an autopsy and try to gather any forensic evidence left, but neither yielded much information, and the police had no leads.

Soon, the case turned cold.

As for you, you had moved in with Felix,, unable to step back into your apartment without Chan. Fearing that in doing so you’d be acknowledging that he’s gone, and then his spirit would remember to come back to haunt you.

Felix takes such good care of you, even though he’s the one who has the right to be hurt more. He stuck around you all the time, making you feel safe and comforting you. He also kept his distance as much as he could. You could tell he wanted to seek comfort in your body, to help each other through this pain, but you were selfish as always. You only let him comfort you. You never comforted him back.

As the months passed, Felix started getting more and more needy, making you feel even more wretched even though he never said anything. He loved you and you loved him, but Chan’s death had pushed a wedge between you. You couldn’t touch the younger boy without feeling guilty. It felt like you were cheating on Chan more than you ever did before, and so you kept Felix at a distance.

For his part, Felix never outright made an advance on you, respecting your need to grieve, but you could tell from the boner he’d get every time you kissed him even a sweet innocent little kiss or put your arms around him that he needed more, and it made you feel even more horrible. You couldn’t help Chan when he was alive and now you can’t help Felix. You felt like the most selfish fucking human being in the world.

So when you’re woken up from sleep one night, feeling hot and with something hard poking against your ass, you decide to finally give back.

“Noona...” Felix whimpers into your ear, nuzzling his face in the nape of your neck, making goosebumps erupt along your body. You weren’t ready to go all the way yet but at least you could give him some release.

Turning on your back, you guide him to straddle you and let yourself slip into the right headspace. "You dirty little thing, humping your noona in her sleep?"

His eyes light up when he realizes that for the first time in a long time, you’re reciprocating, and he sighs in relief, starting to grind his hips against yours. Tantalizing, you lower the straps of your nightgown, a delicate pink satin piece that Felix bought for you, to expose your tits for him. He hums appreciatively, reaching out to touch, but you slap his hand away. “Only look.”

He shudders, nodding, and humps against you faster. "Noona, please, fuck me. Fuck your dumb baby."

"No whining." You reprimand, lifting his shirt up to his mouth and he obediently bites on it, muffling his noises. With the shirt up, his boxers are exposed, and you watch as every time he thrusts forward, the tip of his dick pokes out from his boxers, red and leaking. “And I thought you’d thank me for being so nice to a pervert like you.”

Felix pants around the fabric in his mouth, his dick dripping over your panties. Placing your hand on his ass, you feel the muscle clench and relax as he ruts desperately against you. “Is this how you wanna fuck noona? You think your little dick can make me feel good?”

He pushes the shirt out of his mouth with his tongue and babbles. “I can noona. Just let me put it inside.” He grabs his dick and runs the head of it over your clothed slit, making you shiver at the stimulation. Then he pushes the head against your hole but is prevented from pushing in because of the underwear “Just let me put it in, noona.”

“You’re a greedy little kitten aren’t you? Put your hands up to your chest, kitty.” You order, and he reluctantly obeys. “Now stick your tongue out and pant for me.”

He does so with a flush, looking like a cat in heat. Absolutely filthy.

“That’s it. That’s a good, boy. Putting on a show for noona.”

He nods happily, high off the praise you’re giving him. "I'm gonna cum for you noona. Watch me cum for you."

“I’m looking, little whore. Cum for me.” You purr, cupping handfuls of his ass as you encourage his now sloppy thrusts.

Felix cries out, cum spurting out of the tip of his cock and landing on your pretty silk nightgown. You tut disappointedly, “Look at the mess you made, kitten. You ruined my nightgown with your filthy cum.”

“I’m sorry, noona.” Felix pants, not looking sorry at all. In fact, he looks enraptured by the sight in front of him. “I’ll buy you a new one.”

He falls over your chest, suckling on your breasts gently as his breathing slows down and becomes deep as he falls asleep.

_____________________

That’s how things go for a long while. Just you helping Felix take the edge off without actually going all the way. You can tell he’s disappointed. He must’ve thought that this was the start of you reigniting your relationship, but you still can’t get yourself to be there for him in the way he needs you. And despite you acting romantically together and going on dates, you never officially acknowledged that you are in a relationship, and you can tell that this, more than anything, hurt him the most.

You feel pity and self-hate fill you up as you play with the boy’s hair, his head resting on your lap.

“How do you like the cocktail?” Felix asks lazily, taking you out of your thoughts.

You blink and take another sip of the drink he made you, appreciating the taste on your tongue. It’s actually pretty good, and you tell him exactly that. “But it seems quite strong. I’m a little lightheaded already. What’s in it, kitten?”

Felix giggles as he presses a finger to his mouth, making a shushing sound. “It's a secret.”

You smile fondly at him, soaking up his laughter along with the afternoon son, the calming rhythm of lix's breathing and the strong drink making you feel sleepy. You decide you’re gonna ask him if he’d like to take a nap with you, but before you can form your words, you abruptly get much sleepier, your eyelids turning to lead as they struggle to stay open to the world spinning around you.

You finally manage a little groan, attracting Felix’s attention. He looks up at you in question and his curious eyes are the last thing you see before it all goes black

_____________________

You wake up feeling hot and sticky. Groggily coming to, you blurrily see a mop of blonde hair over your exposed chest and feel wetness over your nipples. Despite your heavy head, you can immediately tell it’s Felix, and your thoughts trudge along as you try to think of what you were doing last but the memory is too fuzzy.

You’re easily distracted when you feel his moans against your skin as he kisses and suckles on your breasts, his hips dragging over your thigh needily. You try to move your hands to push him away, confused and mad that he is touching you without permission, but you only hear the sound of metal clanking as your hands stay above your head, and with a panic, you realize that you were shackled to the bed.

At the sound, Felix lifts his head up and smiles at you sweetly, as if nothing about this was weird. “Noona, you’re awake!”

You stare at him in bewilderment, and he finally realizes what’s wrong. Sheepishly, he explains, “I’m sorry. You were taking so long to wake up and I couldn’t help myself.”

His words don’t really make the situation much clearer. "What is happening? Why am I bound?"

He smiles, moving up your body so his nose is touching yours. "You've been bad noona, rejecting me for so long. I tried to wait. I tried to be good for you but you still kept rejecting me. So I decided to push things along a little."

"What?" You ask, throat dry.

"I put a sedative in your drink so you'd pass out and I can play with you." He explains cheerily, like that was a completely normal and benign thing to do.

"What the fuck, Felix?” You shout, pulling on your shackles in alarm. “You're crazy."

"Crazy over you." He giggles, pinning your hands to the bed so you wouldn’t struggle. “Now stop or you’ll hurt yourself.”

“You’re the one who is hurting me!”

He frowns. “Don’t say that, noona. I’ve been taking good care of you, haven’t I?”

“And you think that gives you the right to drug and assault me?”

His frown deepens at that, all air of playfulness gone from around him. “Stop. Saying. That.” He grits, “I can’t assault you when you’re mine.”

He leans back and palms at your breasts greedily, his thumbs brushing over your wet buds, and you struggle to not arch up into his touch, a fresh wave of arousal sticking your shorts to your pussy even more. “You’re so perfect, noona.”

"Let me go." You cry, gradually getting more and more panicked.

"I'll never let you go again." His voice is gruff and it sends a shiver down your spine as he rubs his fingers over your clit coarsely. “So stop this or you’ll make me really angry, noona.”

You still immediately, thinking back on what he did last time he got mad. You could still feel the suffocation gripping your throat.

“If you’re wet, noona. I’ll know you want me too.” He pulls back from your chest and slowly peels your shorts down your legs, a gasp escaping him when he is undoubtedly greeted by your underwear sticking to your slick, puffy lips in arousal. “I knew it. Fuck, you’re so sexy.”

He grabs the top of your panties, pulling them up so they’d rub over your pussy, teasing you and delighting in watching you involuntarily squirm. “You’re so sensitive, noona.”

“It’s okay. I’ll take care of you.” He slinks your panties down your legs then pulls your thighs up, spreading your legs wide for him, and moaning out in appreciation. “Ah, fuck, noona…so hot.”

His fingers slowly rub over your exposed, drenched pussy, driving you crazy with the deliberate, wide strokes. You have to fight hard to not close your legs around him. “Want more, noona?”

You bite down on your tongue. You won’t give him the satisfaction of admitting it out loud. Resolutely, his fingers trail down your pussy and into your warm, tight heat, and you can’t fight back the gasp that is ripped from you. You shake as his fingers ever so slowly pump in and out of you. And when he puts his mouth on you, your moans flow out, not caring anything for your ego.

Felix moans into your pussy, eating you out slowly too, maddening slow as if he was kissing you. The wet sounds of his lips and tongue on you make you burn in shame and arousal.

He stays between your legs a long time, driving you mad, his tongue deliberately moving along your folds and and his lips sucking on your sensitive skin, while his fingers stay inside your pussy and relentlessly but equally as slowly rub against that sweet spot inside you. You feel the burn gradually build in your body, it fries your brain and by the time you cum, your entire nervous system is on fire.

He climbs up your body, looking down at you with the most fucked out look on his pretty face, his eyes absolutely glazed over with lust as he bucks his crotch against you and kisses your mouth the same way he did your pussy. You taste yourself on him so clearly it feels like the taste is imprinted on his tongue forever.

Pulling away, a trail of saliva and cum connects your lips. “Need you to fuck me.”

“Let me go, baby.” You coax gently, hoping he won’t get upset if you’re sweet. “Let me go and I'll fuck you."

He shakes his head, "I know you're lying to me, noona. I know I have to break you in first before I let you go."

You pale, bile rising up your throat at the ominous words. "Break me in… how?"

"You’ll see." He giggles, craning your neck up and kissing your skin harshly, growling in between the sloppy kisses, "But when you're over those worthless boys, maybe you can fuck me again. I hate being a bad boy but this is the only way to make you see."

Pulling back from your stinging neck, he presses his dick to your entrance. Your pussy spasms around the tip of his dick, and he chuckles deeply. “Look how needy your pussy is for me. Noona was wasting time being a little slut and letting those bastards touch her when she could've had me." He says reproachfully, as if you were a misbehaving child, and it makes your anger flare up and overpower your fear.

"I don't want you, you freak." You spit out and he slaps you, hard, the force of it busting your lip open. Taking a deep break, he calms himself down and smiles again. "Now that's not very nice, noona. After all I've done for you." He leans down and licks at the drop of blood that sprung from your lip, moaning at the taste.

"You made me wait for so long, noona. I can't wait anymore." He shakes a little, as if it really was hurting him physically to hold back. Pushing into you, he lets out a shuddering cry. "I love you so much. You're finally mine."

You arch your back as he buries himself all the way inside of you, and he takes that opportunity to bend down and pluck one of your nipples into his mouth. You whimper against him, making him speed up his thrusts.

“I’m making you feel good, aren’t I, noona?” He grunts, keeping your legs wide open as he fucks into you but you don’t reply, angering him. Suddenly, you’re flipped onto your stomach, and he pushes himself between your spread legs so you can't close them, plunging his dick back inside you. “You will not ignore me, noona. I will not allow it.”

He steadies himself on both sides of you and leans over you, trapping you under him and fucking you hard and slow, trying to get as deep inside you as possible despite his size and making you shiver as his dick drags against your walls. He gradually speeds up, his dick gliding easily over the track it made, overwhelming your poor pussy.

He fucks you so well, and you’re entirely, completely ashamed of how good it feels. It seems like he is intent on humiliating you, his dick hitting the sweet spot inside of you perfectly with each thrust, and your pussy keeps clenching around him more and more as the sound of your flesh smacking together fills the room. You’re transfixed under him, eyes squeezed shut and mouth hanging open with your back perfectly arched to receive his thrusts, and soon, he grunts into your ear, "I'm so close."

Your eyes snap open urgently. “Pull out. I'm not on birth control. You can’t cum inside me." You explain hastily. You had stopped taking the pill ever since Chan had passed away. You weren’t fucking Felix so you felt no need to take it.

"I know, noona." He says and you almost sigh in relief, fully expecting Felix to whine but pull out. But to your horror, he continues, "Gonna breed you so you'll never leave me again."

Your breath catches in your throat and your nerves go numb. You sob, “Felix, please no. Pull out, baby please. I won’t leave. I’ll stay.”

“You will.” He promises you, and doesn’t pull back. Instead, fucking you harder and spanking your ass as he grunts loudly, "Take it like a good noona."

He empties himself inside of you, his hot cum flooding your pussy, and to your great shame, that pushes you to cum too, your pussy milking him obediently. He praises you happily, "Good noona, taking all my cum. Your pussy knows you belong to me."

You think he’ll be done now, having fucked you and filled you up. But to your horror, he turns you on your side and embraces you from behind. Lifting one leg up in the air, he starts fucking you again. With how wet you were and his previous ejaculation, wet lewd sounds fill the room along with his low grunts and your breathless gasps.

He spends the whole night fucking you, taking you in every position conceivable and making sure to empty every little drop inside of you, apologizing for being a bad boy and promising you that he'll take any punishment you give him once you’re pregnant with his baby and he can be sure you'll stay.

The worst part is that he makes sure you cum too, seeming intent on not allowing you any space to later claim like you didn’t enjoy yourself, murmuring praises into your ear every time you orgasm. "Good noona, cumming around my cock. Kitty is so happy with you. You wanna cum again?"

You are almost passed out when he’s done fucking you. Leaving you used up and sprawled out on the bed, he gets up to retrieve something. When he gets back on the bed, you purposefully don’t look at him, expecting him to now try to suck up to you and get you to forgive him.

But he doesn’t say anything and you suddenly jolt at the sharp sting you feel along your inner thigh. You look down in horror to see felix carving something with a knife onto your skin. His own name.

You shout and begin to struggle, only to quickly realize that you shouldn't be moving around with a sharp knife so close to your genitals, and Felix is aware of that too. He ignores your tearful pleas and pained screams until he’s all done. Brandishing the now bloody knife, he whispers conspiratorially, “Wanna know something, noona?”

You don’t reply but he doesn’t care, smiling as he pushes the knife to your throat. “This is the knife I used to stab Jisung.” Your stomach drops and your blood beats frenziedly against the knife pressed to your skin. “It’s also the same knife I used to kill Chan.”

You stay frozen in place, not even breathing, not even blinking.

"I didn't want to kill him. I really loved him. He was the only one I was willing to share you with but he left me no choice.” He goes on, pouting slightly as if he was lamenting losing his favorite mug. “But it’s better this way. Now you’re all mine. And once you're broken in, I'll let you use this to mark me up too."

____________________

A/N: let me know what you think of the ending. I love to hear it!

[jediken0bi]

Boundaries

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary:

When JJ makes an offhand comment about Spencer not being particularly fond of physical touch to his girlfriend it causes a bit of a misunderstanding.

word count: 3180

-

Ever since you and Spencer decided to ditch your colleagues for the third time in a row to watch Doctor Who at his place instead, which resulted in him awkwardly admitted to liking you at the end of the night, you two have been practically inseparable. You knew that Spencer was shy when it comes to physical affection from the start but you also knew that a huge part of it was the lack of said affection throughout his life.

Often times he looks surprised when you hug him or kiss him with no particular reason in mind other than that you wanted to.

It's like he's used to only experiencing soft touches in the context of challenging and heartbreaking events happening to him.

You were set on changing that. You're going to make up for all the people who have failed to treat him with the love he deserves.

So far he hasn't stopped you from trying either. You cuddle him every chance you get, you kiss him whenever the opportunity presents itself and the environment allows it, you hold his hand while you're on the jet. You make sure Spencer is on board for all of this though.

You always ask him if he's okay with it before. The last thing you want is for Spencer to feel uncomfortable with you.

He's never denied you though and your question is always received with a big smile on his face.

Despite being very responsive to your touches Spencer doesn't allow himself to outright ask for them. Your best guess is that it comes from a long line of people denying him these simple pleasures. The thought breaks your heart.

You two were in the elevator on your way to meet the rest of the team in the bullpen when it all sort of went south.

You were holding hands with Spencer and he subconsciously squeezes your hand a little once the doors open. You give him a smile and lean up to press a small kiss to his cheek.

He immediately turns bright red and you giggle. He's given up on asking you for their reasons. He's starting to accept that you like kissing him and that's reason enough.

He grins at you and you let go of your grip on his hand. You both walk to your respective desks and stuff your go bags under them.

Before you can make your way back to Spencer you spot JJ across the room seemingly headed straight to your desk.

You know JJ is Spencers best friend and while you admittedly had a hard time accepting that your boyfriends best friend was a woman he used to have a crush on, you decided that you had absolutely no reason not to trust Spencer. He was happy with you and JJ was married with kids after all. Hell, Spence is their godfather. There's no need to worry about either of them having feelings for the other. You're sure of it"

Plus, you really like JJ. She was the hardest to win over simply because she and Spencer were so close but she never treated you with hostility. She was kind and respectful but kept you at distance until she was sure you were right for Spencer. You would've been upset if you weren't so happy someone was looking out for him after all.

"Good morning JJ" you greet her happily.

It really had been a good morning.

You and Spencer woke up earlier than usual to eat breakfast together. He made you pancakes!

Or, at least he tried. They were a bit burned but you told him that they were the best pancakes you have ever had. And you meant it.

He, of course, turned bright red and refused to take the compliment so you shut him up with a kiss.

A kiss that said 'Thank you for making me breakfast. I love you and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life eating burned pancakes with you'.

"Hey Y/N i was wondering if you had a minute to talk. About Spence." JJ approached you with a certain worry in her eyes that immediately unsettled you.

"What do you mean? Did something happen? I just saw him a minute ago and he seemed fine" You say nervously. Was there something you overlooked?

You make a mental note to go through the events of this morning again.

"No, he's fine! It's not that. I just wanted to talk to you about how it's going with Spencer. You know, being a couple and all"

JJ seemed almost nervous.

You weren't sure what to think about that.

She never dug around in your business before and you don't think she's got any malicious intentions but it does throw you off a little bit.

"Did you have something specific in mind? We're doing great, JJ. I know you worry about him but i think he's happy with me"

You say proudly because you know he is.

He tells you every night when you two settle down to lie in each others arms to read for a bit.

That's code for Spencer reading to you while laying his head on your stomach and you playing with his hair.

You smile at the memory.

"Uh yeah i guess i do. I just don't want you to think of this as something personal but i think as his best friend i owe it to Spencer to talk to you about it"

She looks down at her feet seemingly uncomfortable but willing to go through with this.

You were shocked to say the least. What could she possibly have in mind that would potentially hurt your feelings? Your mind goes to the worst possible scenarios and it's giving you a good bit of anxiety.

JJ seems to spot the look on your face and grabs your hands.

"No, no, no it's nothing bad per se! Just something you should be aware of to avoid misunderstandings"

You let out a small breath and calm down a bit. You're still confused though. If it's so urgent, why wouldn't Spencer tell you himself?

You were curious though.

"Okay so what is this about then?"

JJ looks at you with a bit of pity in her eyes and you immediately decide you hate that look.

"It's just that, you know, Spence is a bit of a germaphobe and he just doesn't do very well with people invading his personal space. Not that you're invading his space! Gosh no, you're his girlfriend after all. It's just that it seems like he might be a bit overwhelmed. I know it's non of my business, but i think he's trying to be okay with the PDA because it's something you want. I'm all for expanding your comfort zones but i'm afraid Spence is not going to tell you himself"

She finishes her nervous rant and you felt your heart sinking.

Is that why he never asks for your touch? You thought it was because he was shy but maybe it's because it makes him uncomfortable.

Was he trying to protect your feelings by not denying you touch whenever you asked?

Or worse, did he think you would leave him if he put up some boundaries?

Your eyes are filled with unshed tears and you look down at your feet out of embarrassment. You don't want to see the look on JJ's face right now. You're humiliated and honestly just upset Spencer wasn't telling you all this himself.

"Oh. Well, i'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought we were okay but i'll make an effort to turn it down. Thanks JJ"

It's clear she wanted to say something in return but you already turned away from her to flee the scene. It was overwhelming and you didn't want her to see you cry over this.

You went to the only place you knew you could feel freely without having to downplay the whole thing.

Penelopes Office.

You knock twice at her door.

"Hey Pen, can i come in? Are you busy?"

She immediately opens the door and with it, her arms.

"Never too busy for you honey bun!"

You give her a sad smile and hug her tightly.

You sniffle a little and she closes the door behind you two.

"What's wrong Y/N? Did Spencer do anything? I'll kill him for you. I have about twenty seven different ways that would make it look like an accident! Perks of working for the FBI"

This actually makes you laugh and you immediately know you've made the right call coming to Garcia.

"It's more about what he didn't do. Pen, am i a bad girlfriend?"

She grabs your shoulders and pushes you out of her embrace to look at you.

"What? How could you possibly think that? Boy Wonder has never been happier and i've known the kid for a solid couple of years!"

You look down again with an empty smile

"Then why would he send JJ to tell me all about how uncomfortable i make him?"

Okay so maybe you were being a bit dramatic but it feels like he broke your trust by talking to JJ about it before talking to you. At least, you assume he did. Why else would she bring this up?

"He did what? Are you sure?"

You raise your arms in a frustrated manner.

"I don't know Penny all i know is that JJ had some thoughts on how to be in a relationship with Spence!"

Garcia looked shocked and it makes you laugh.

"Yeah, that was my initial reaction too"

She shakes herself out of it.

"Did you talk to Spencer about what he thinks?"

You look at her with sheepish eyes.

"I don't want to yet. I'm upset with him and honestly a little embarrassed. I just wish he would've told me certain things himself. I think i'm going to take a sick day, okay? Can you let Hotch know i'm out for today?"

She looks at you with understanding eyes and gives you a nod.

"Of course, Bunny. Take care. And don't forget that Spencer loves you!"

You smile and give her a nod in return.

"Yeah, i know"

And with that you're out the door and on your way to grab your bag from your desk.

Of course you end up running into the one person you don't want to talk to right now.

Spencer looks at you with a small smile and you give him one back. Admittedly, yours looks a bit forced but you don't have the energy to pretend right now.

"What are you doing?" He asks innocently. He must be unaware of your conversation with JJ.

"I- Uh i'm taking a sick day. I'm not feeling so well"

You try to avoid eye contact but you fail to ignore Spencers worried expression in your peripheral vision.

"Are you okay? Was it the breakfast? I told you you shouldn't have eaten the pancakes!"

He sounds so distressed you can't help but laugh.

You were still mad at him but he was just too cute for his own good.

Out of habit you raise your hand to plant it on the nape of his neck where you usually toy with his hair before kissing him.

Just as you were about to put your hand on him you shake yourself out of it and retreat it.

He looks at you with confused eyes.

"What's wrong?"

He asks you with sad eyes. He's giving you completely mixed signals and it's driving you insane. Did he suddenly want you to touch him?

"Nothing. I just- I'm really tired"

You look down at your bag and pick it up to make your way out of there.

Spencer grabs your hand and it causes you to stop in your tracks. You breath in and out and turn around to look at him once again.

"Are- I mean are you leaving now?"

He looks at you with an embarrassed glint in his eyes. But there's something more to it. He looks hopeful. Like he's expecting something.

Maybe he's waiting for you to kiss him goodbye like you always do says a small voice on the back of your head.

No, you shake your head, JJ was perfectly clear about these things.

"Yeah, i am. See you later okay?"

You say with a small smile. You weren't mad at him for not being comfortable with PDA. That's not it at all. You just wanted him to be the one telling you.

You squeeze his hand and he exhales a little.

"Yes! Yeah, um, we're still on for tonight right? Your place?"

He seems so nervous and it reminds you a lot of the first few dates you two had. He was so afraid of messing up, of being laughed at or rejected.

"Of course we are. I'll order us some Chinese"

You give him a real smile and he starts lighting up as well.

"Yeah i'd like that. See you, uh, tonight then"

He's still holding your hand and you squeeze it one more time before letting go.

As you step into the elevator you know that you two have a lot to talk about.

--timeskip approx. 8h--

You've spend all day trying to figure out how to talk to Spencer about what happened at work today. You didn't want to fight with him and you hope he's not going to try and shut you out.

All your worries pretty much wash away when you find Spencer at your door holding a beautiful arrangement of flowers.

When he finally reveals himself behind them you can't help but drag him inside and press a kiss to his lips. You smile into the kiss and it's not long before Spencer does the same. It's harder than it sounds like but you two aren't willing to separate yet so you keep kissing for a little longer before leaning back to accept the arrangement.

"Thank you, Spence. They're beautiful"

You push the curls out of his face and cup his cheek in your hand.

He leans into it and closes his eyes for a second

"Almost as beautiful as you"

It's barely a whisper but you heard him.

Putting the flowers down on the counter you don't waste a single second hugging him tight to your chest.

He hums in contentment and you melt into him.

You've missed him so much today. You weren't used to being at distance with him. Emotionally or physically.

Speaking of.

"Does that mean we're okay again?"

Spencer asks pressing small kisses to your neck.

You shutter slightly before leaning back to look at him.

"What do you mean? Were we not okay before?"

You brush the curls that have fallen back into his eyes away again and he looks at you with wide loving eyes.

"I don't know i thought we were but then you didn't- um i don't know you just left and i thought maybe i had done something to upset you?"

He looks nervous. Almost like he's afraid he's going to say something wrong. You give him a small sad smile and decide that now is as good of a time as ever.

"I didn't kiss you because i know you're not comfortable with that"

You weren't mad anymore. You had enough time to process what happened and you've come to the conclusion that Spencer must've had his reasons. You're willing to let him explain.

He on the other hand looks at you like you've grown a second head.

"What? No i- why would you think that?"

You huff out a breath and look at him for a moment with raised eyebrows. You really thought he was going to tell you now. Is he waiting for you to say it?

Spencer looked genuinely confused and upset you would even suggest such a thing. It makes you wonder if he talked to JJ at all.

"Look, JJ came to talk to me today and cleared some things up and honestly i'm not upset about what she said. Not really. I'm upset i had to find out from someone who wasn't you. You could've told me. You should have told me actually"

This didn't do anything to wipe off Spencers confused expression. If anything, his frown just got deeper.

"Y/N i seriously don't know what you're talking about. I haven't talked to JJ this week"

Now it's your turn to frown. Did he not know? Was it really just JJ making assumptions that weren't true?

"But she said- No it doesn't matter what she said. What matters is that i want you to tell me, right now, if my affections make you uncomfortable in any shape of form. It's okay if they do Spence! I know i'm a lot but it's important we're both okay with what's happening between us"

He stares at you with a mix of adoration and confusion.

"Of course i'm not uncomfortable with you! I would tell you if i was. It's not even like you're doing any of it without checking with me first! Why would i lie to you?"

You let out a frustrated huff.

"Because you don't wanna hurt my feelings! But it's okay. We're equals and we can set up boundaries if you want. All that matters to me is that you won't shut me out"

Spencer smiles at you and it confuses you. Why the sudden mood change? Not that you're complaining. His smile always did manage to make you feel better. This time is no exception.

He grabs your hands and pulls you closer again.

This is new. Not the hand holding, but the fact that Spencer is the one initiating it.

"I promise you i have never been more comfortable with a person. I don't know what JJ told you and i'm definitely going to have a talk with her about boundaries but as far as we go, i'm more than happy with where and what we are"

You give him a small laugh and he joins in.

You wrap your arms around his middle and bury your head in his chest.

"So you're okay with me kissing you or touching you in general? In front of the team"

He presses a small kiss to the top of your head.

"More than okay" He whispers

You smile and lift your head to give him a proper kiss. He grabs the side of your head and pulls you even closer.

Lips just millimeters apart you look him in the eyes and find nothing but love in them.

"Also, next time you leave work without kissing me goodbye i'll make a scene. No hesitation"

You laugh loudly and push him away. He playfully stumbles back a couple of steps and laughs with you. He shrugs his shoulders

"Try me"

You lean your head on his shoulder.

You don't even know what you were worried about anymore. Spencer has a way to make all the problems seem to minuscule. You can confidently say you've never been happier.

[pokemoncreepypasta]

Forever Mine

[STORY SOURCE]

I live in one of those small towns with a big community. It feels like everyone knows each other, and parents would visit their friends and leave their kids to mess around with each other. Classes in school weren’t very large.

So when there’s news about a kid dying, it travels at god-speed. 

Everyone at school kept talking about the death of this girl who was probably a year behind me.

I didn’t know her personally. I wouldn’t have even been able to tell you her name if everyone wasn’t talking about her.

I didn’t want to pick up gossip about how she died. I decided to attend her funeral myself. Not because we were friends or anything, but I did want to show my respect for this girl and her family.

The local funeral home was within biking range of my house, so I set off.

I sat awkwardly as I noticed her parents. I’m not usually very good at picking up feelings from people, but I could tell that beyond their grief was disappointment and maybe even hostility.

They made me wonder what she was thinking about before she died.

After she was buried, I hung around the cemetery. I’d wished I brought flowers with me, but decided I’d give her some the next time I stopped by.

Around this time, I had been aiming to get a Sky Forme Shaymin, since it was one of my favorite Pokémon back then.

I had caught a wild Shaymin using the "Pokémon Modifier" cheat code. I was terrible at coming up with creative names. But then, I remembered the name of the girl and thought it would suit a Shaymin rather well.

“Skye.”

Little did I know that this would invite strange things to start happening to my game.

I wanted to keep this Shaymin in its Sky Forme whenever possible, so I planned on keeping it in my team 24/7, only playing during daytime, etc. I was a dirty cheater who liked putting illegal moves on my Pokémon, so I taught Skye to use Fly.

At the time, I didn’t know you needed to catch the Shaymin in Flower Paradise to receive the Gracidea Flower, so when I talked to the blonde girl NPC in Floaroma Town, I had no idea why she wouldn’t give it to me.

So I was stuck with a Shaymin that knew Fly. It was weird, and I never really grew all that attached to it. Eventually I boxed it, forgot I had it, and released it without thinking.

The next time I booted up the game, I got this message.

“The save file is corrupted. The previous save file will be loaded.”

My first instinct was panic. I didn’t have any time to think or process the initial message, because all my hours were gone. With nervous anticipation, I started up the save file to see what the damage was.

To my surprise, I found myself on an incomplete Seabreak Path. The south path to Route 224 was cut off, with a featureless Shaymin staring vacantly over the edge.

I checked my party, and found none of my team members.

Only a level 100 Dusknoir with the move Follow Me.

Very useful, I thought. I’d have to boot up my Action Replay to teach this thing Fly in order to get off the island later.

Checking my items, I noticed everything was gone, save for a single PokéBall and an Escape Rope. Neither of which seemed particularly helpful for getting me off this island.

Out of curiosity though, I decided to see if Shaymin would be at Flower Paradise. I started my trek north, lamenting the loss of my bike.

To my surprise, Shaymin was there, despite never having Oak’s Letter or triggering the cutscene with it. Its face was obstructed by flowers, but it seemed like its pink flowers were missing just like the one I saw before.

I spoke to the Shaymin, and a message appeared.

“I remember you.”

“But… You don’t remember me, do you?”

The wild Shaymin attacked, and my heart stopped at its name.

“Skye appeared!”

Featureless, like before.

I felt a knot in my stomach, not even caring about the game. Something was very clearly wrong with it, and I wanted to stop playing. But I decided I was already taking pictures of the weird stuff that was happening, and I wanted to document it in full.

Steeling my resolve, I went about my options.

Dusknoir only knew Follow Me, so it was useless to weaken the Shaymin.

Remembering the PokéBall I had, I tossed it at the Shaymin.

Most people would be ecstatic to catch a Shaymin with full HP in a PokéBall on their first try, but I got the feeling that the game was rigged. There wasn’t any triumphant music playing either, which didn’t help my feelings about it.

I tried checking my newly caught Shaymin, but my game froze upon checking my party.

Upon restarting the system and starting the game up, this message appeared.

“My heart is corrupted. Please save me.”

My save file was gone for real this time. The trainer’s name was “SINNER”.

I live in a pretty religious community, so reading this made me ill at ease.

Starting up the game again, I found myself in the Lost Tower, playing as a featureless Shaymin.

My only Pokémon was the same Shaymin, named SINNER, knowing Fly, Scary Face, Fake Tears, and Spite.

A text box appeared when I tried to leave the tower.

“Today’s the day.”

It pushed me back, preventing my exit. The only option I had was to ascend.

No random encounters happened, and all the trainers wouldn’t interact with me.

It went this way until I went to the top floor. I’m pretty sure there isn’t supposed to be a man and woman NPC standing in this spot.

"There’s nothing left to say.”

Interacting with them just prompted this text.

It was here that I noticed a staircase that wasn’t supposed to be there.

I found myself on the top of the tower. I stepped into a scripted event, and the Shaymin faced the edge without my prompt.

"It's a long way down... Are you ready?"

Hoping for some way out of this, I wanted to say “no”, so I could cheat my way out of the tower and get my game back to normal. However, upon selecting it, this text appeared.

"You've held back for long enough. It's time to go."

“SINNER used the Escape Rope.”

A battle started against the same Dusknoir as before. I was intimidated to go against a level 100 Dusknoir, but then I remembered its only move was Follow Me, so it was harmless.

I realized that if I let SINNER faint, I could go to the last Pokémon Center and escape the tower.

I used Spite, thinking that if I reduced Follow Me’s PP, the Dusknoir would use Struggle and OHKO my Shaymin.

“The wild DUSKNOIR used Follow Me!”

“SINNER used Spite!”

“But there was no target...”

Dang it.

Deciding to experiment, I came to the conclusion that there was no harm in screwing around with SINNER’s attacks until DUSKNOIR ran out of PP. I chose Fly.

“The wild DUSKNOIR used Follow Me!”

“SINNER used Fly!”

“The wild DUSKNOIR used Follow Me!”

“SINNER kept going and crashed!”

Not the KO I was expecting, but I took it nonetheless.

The game, of course, crashed as soon as my Shaymin’s cry played, leaving nothing but pleasantly ear-grating screeching sounds.

I decided to take a break from playing for a moment to process what I just witnessed. I had a lot to digest.

The only conclusion I came to was that ghosts are real and this was the same Skye as the girl who died. Which would sound insane if I didn’t have the pictures to prove it.

I choked back tears. I was afraid. Why did Skye want me to see this?

I wanted to put the game down and be done with it. But if she had a message to give me, then I felt like I had to see it through to the end.

I guess I vainly hoped she’d pass on and find peace if I listened to what she was trying to say.

Another message when I started the game up again.

“I can’t fly. I tried to.”

I found myself at Spear Pillar. The staircase to the Hall of Origin was in front of me.

My exit was gone, so I just went straight to Arceus.

A level 100 Arceus stood before me.  

Instead of sending out my Shaymin, it stayed in the field. It was now bleeding. Its status said it was fainted, but it was still able to battle somehow.

I felt cornered. There was no way a level 14 Shaymin could take on something like this. I tried to use Fly, hoping it would give me the same result as before.

“Can’t use that here.”

It wouldn’t let me use the move. Instead, I just outright try to flee.

“Can’t escape!”

“ARCEUS used Judgment!”

I braced for impact...

“The wild ARCEUS’s attack missed!”

...But was pleasantly surprised to see it miss.

“I’m not ready yet.”

The game made me flee automatically.

The screen faded to black.

“I’m not ready. I’m not ready.”

“I’m scared.”

When the screen faded back to the overworld, I found myself in the Distortion World. The portal that takes you back to the main world was gone, so the only thing I could do was explore.

I found another Escape Rope while looking around.

It was the only thing noteworthy I could find, so I started trying to think of ways to get out of here.

I tried using Fly, since SINNER still knew it.

“There’s nowhere to fly to.”

Figures.

Trying to test my other options, I went to my bag and tried using the Escape Rope.

Of course, the “There’s a time and place for everything” message still appeared.

Deciding to mess around until I got results, I went to give the Escape Rope to SINNER.

“Don’t suppose you know what to do with this?” I muttered.

The game crashed again, and it assaulted my eardrums once more. I sharply inhaled, wondering if I touched a nerve.

I took a deep breath and started the game again.

My character’s name was now Skye.

I started in Floaroma Town. The first thing I did was rush to the Pokémon Center to check on my Pokémon in the PC. Of course, they were all gone.

I’d grieve for them later, though. Maybe Skye would be nice to me and give them back.

While I was in the center, I figured it might’ve been good to heal the faint status off of the Shaymin.

Sure it is. Glad you can tell when something is suffering, nurse.

Heading outside, I talked to the blonde NPC.

“You should always give flowers to someone who has passed away.”

“It’s rude not to.”

“You got the Gracidea!”

I was suddenly feeling very guilty for not leaving flowers before.

Wondering if I could fix the poor Shaymin in my party if I used the flower on her, I went to try it.

“It won’t have any effect.” 

Of course not.

The blonde NPC turned into my Shaymin. I spoke to her.

“That won’t help me.” 

Yeah, I thought not.

At a loss of ideas on what to do next, I absentmindedly made my way to Valley Windworks and walked around in the grass.

A wild Sky Forme Shaymin appeared.

I sent out Skye, of course.

I chose the fight option, and the battle continued without me selecting a move.

“The wild SHAYMIN used Reflect!”

“Skye’s rage is building!”

“Skye used Cut!”

“She hurt herself in her confusion!”

The Sky Form Shaymin was knocked out in one hit, despite the game telling me Skye had hurt herself.

Back on the overworld, I found the mangled parts of the Sky Forme Shaymin lying in the grass. I inspected them.

“Please put me back together.”

It gave me another prompt, and I chose yes.

The screen faded to black.

And then Skye appeared again in a black abyss, with Skymin ears and flower. My trainer was nowhere to be seen.

I checked my party to see that Skye had changed again. Her cry sounded like a distorted mix of Shaymin’s two forms.

I went back to the overworld and was unable to move. Instead, a dialogue box appeared.

“Can you hear me?”

"Thank you for caring about me.”

"I can fly now.”

“Because...”

“I love you.”

My heart skipped a beat. My hands began to shake.

“You must care about me too, right?”

“So... I’m going to stay with you.”

“I won’t leave, not without someone who loves me.”

“Will you fly away with me?”

My shaky hands went to say no. I didn’t want to be like her.

"...”

“I’ll wait for you.”

“I’ll change your mind.”

“You’re mine now.”

“You’re mine forever.”

With that last line, the game froze.

The first thing I did was take the game out of the system. I decided to drop off all my Pokémon games at the nearest GameStop. I didn’t want her talking to me anymore.

So why do I feel like she’s still here?

[headcanonsandmore]

New Night, New Day (World Shakes Up) - Chapter Four

Summary:  Sonya and Ryan's wedding day is finally here, and Yaz and the Doctor seem to be growing closer than ever. Will Yaz be able to overcome her own insecurities and make her feelings clear? Will the Doctor do the same? In our concluding chapter, read on and find out...

                      Read on FFN.                                         Read on AO3. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Sonya and Ryan’s wedding was pretty cool, as weddings went. The ceremony itself was short and to-the-point, going over the basics about commitment and mutual support. Sonya and Ryan couldn’t take their eyes off each other, which was pretty sweet (although Yaz was bound by sibling code never to admit it outright).

Yaz and Sonya’s dad started crying halfway through the vows. This meant that Yaz now owed Ryan five quid, but she honestly didn’t mind. She had half-expected the crying to start as soon as Sonya had taken her place next to Ryan in front of the officiant.

After the ceremony, everyone headed over to the hall where the reception would be taking place. Yaz managed to avoid getting caught in the scrum of aunts, all of whom were loudly making plans about to who to marry off next, and instead hung back.

The Doctors hand slipped around Yaz’s, and the blonde shared a smile with her. 

‘Um…’ came a voice from somewhere near the Doctor’s knee.

One of Yaz’s younger cousins (at least, she presumed so; this wedding was so large that she had no idea who she was related to) was pulling on the Doctor’s sleeve.

‘Heya,’ the Doctor said, kneeling down to talk to the small boy. ‘I’m the Doctor; nice to meet you.’

The boy grinned shyly.

‘Can… can you help me with my shoes, please?’ He mumbled, quietly. ‘Mum’ll yell at me if she finds out I undid the laces.’

The Doctor smiled, and led the boy over a table, where they started doing the laces on his shoes.

Great. The Doctor was also good with kids. Fantastic.

Thankfully, Yaz didn’t have to think too much about this because, at that moment, Ryan and Graham appeared nearby and hurried over to where Yaz was standing.

‘Congrats, Ryan,’ said Yaz, giving him a hug. ‘I’m proper happy for you both.’

‘Thanks, mate,’ Ryan replied, grinning. ‘You and the Doctor having a good time?’

‘Yeah; it’s been a great day.’

‘Nice; I was surprised the Doctor didn’t just park the TARDIS here. They must like you a lot. When they first landed, it took me and Grandad forever to convince them to go anyway by normal transport.’

‘Thanks, I…’

Yaz trailed off.

‘Wait… when they landed…’ Yaz said, slowly. The pieces fell into place. ‘You two knew?’

‘What? About the Doc being a time lord?’ Graham replied. ‘Course. We were the first people who met them after they crashed.’

‘And you didn’t say anything?’

‘Yaz, it’s not like you would have believed us,’ Ryan said. ‘“Oh, this blonde you fancy is a centuries-old alien with a time machine”.’

Graham chuckled.

‘So… where did you and the Doc go to? Anywhere nice?’

‘Er…’ Yaz said, feeling suddenly rather self-conscious. ‘Ancient Greece.’

‘Oh… Athens, maybe? Or Sparta?’

‘Lesbos,’ Yaz said, heat now rising in her face. ‘We… we met Sappho.’

Ryan started snickering.

‘Ah,’ Graham said, with a rather knowing tone. ‘I see, then.’

‘Yeah,’ Yaz said. ‘It was fun, though. Very-’

‘Did you and the Doctor kiss?’

Yaz’s eyed widened and she felt herself blushing.

‘Er… we… we…’

‘Oh, leave her alone, son,’ Graham said, chuckling slightly. ‘It’s written on her face; she doesn’t need to say anything.’

Graham patted Yaz on the shoulder, and the two men walked away into the crowd of people. The little boy hurried past her as well.

‘So… you’re good with kids, too?’

The Doctor grinned, slipping their hand into Yaz’s.

‘Course. I was a grandparent once, after all.’

Yaz stared at the Doctor, her mouth falling open.

‘You’re… you’re serious?’

‘Er… yeah,’ the Doctor, suddenly realising what they had just said. ‘Sorry… I probably shouldn’t’ve said that.’

‘Nah, it’s… well, it is a little surprising. But… well, I suppose it’s not that unusual, considering your history.’

The Doctor smiled.

‘Thanks.’

After lots of eating (these feasts always had so much food), the wedding party eventually moved into the main hall, where a disco had been set up. The Doctor had been caught in a stampede of Yaz’s younger cousins, all of whom seemed to have developed a close attachment to the blonde.

Yaz found herself stood next to the French windows a short way away from the dance floor. As the music started up, she smiled, watching Sonya dance with their father before eventually letting Ryan have his first dance with his bride.

Yaz drifted off in her own thoughts for a while, before Sonya and their parents grabbed her for a family dance. A few minutes later, she went and grabbed a drink of water from the bar and headed back to the dance floor.

The Doctor was teaching several of Yaz’s younger cousins how to dance the Macarena. Of course. It wasn’t as if the Doctor was adorable anyway.

‘You okay, Sheffield?’

Yaz startled. Dan had come to stand next to her. As usual, his tone was supportive. Yaz smiled; Dan really was a good mate.

‘Yeah. Just… thinking.’

Dan smiled, knowingly.

‘Looks to me like you’re thinking a lot about the Doctor.’

Yaz felt her face burn again.

‘Yeah,’ she muttered. ‘You could say that.’

Yes, she was thinking about the Doctor. About how much she loved being around them. And how they’d taken her on a trip to Ancient Greece. About how they’d responded to Yaz kissing them. And about how the Doctor had almost kissed her that morning. And, most of all, the look in the Doctor’s eyes just after Yaz’s mum had interrupted them.

It was all so complicated. And yet so simple at the same time. Yaz had been crushing on the Doctor since she first met them. Within a few days, they had been living together. And soon after that, they had kissed. The Doctor clearly liked Yaz a great deal, but… was it really the same sort of “like” that Yaz felt for them? Was Yaz just reading too much into things?

‘Talk to them,’ Dan said. ‘You need to tell them how you feel.’

‘Why?’ Yaz replied, her stomach churning. ‘What would that solve?’

‘Oh, c’mon, Yaz; can’t you see it?’

Dan patted her supportively on the shoulder, and then left. Yaz found her mind buzzing. What did he mean by that?

Well… maybe the idea wasn’t as impossible as she’d once thought. But, could she be that brave?

At that moment, the Macarena ended, and the song changed to a slow, romantic tune. The Beatles, perhaps?

The various younger cousins immediately left for the food table. The Doctor looked over to where Yaz was standing, and their eyes met.

Something in the way she moves…

Yaz felt her heart beat frantically against her chest. She swallowed nervously, but did not break eye contact. Instead, she crossed the dance floor over to where the Doctor was.

The blonde extended a hand to Yaz.

‘May I have this dance, Yasmin Khan?’

Yaz smiled, and nodded. She stepped forward, taking the Doctor’s outstretched hand.

Softly, The Doctor put their other hand on Yaz’s waist, and the two of them moved in step. The Doctor was leading.

‘You dance too?’

‘Well…’ The Doctor said, modestly. ‘Hang around Bruce Forsyth for enough time, and you’re bound to pick up some things.’

Yaz stared at them for a second, before giving up and just letting out a chuckle instead.

‘You and your name-dropping,’ she said, squeezing the Doctor’s hand. ‘I can’t decide if it’s dorky or cute.’

‘Hopefully, both,’ the Doctor quipped.

‘Agreed. Dip me.’

The Doctor turned, and lowered Yaz gently towards the floor. The two of them stayed like that for a few seconds.

‘We should probably move.’

‘Y-yeah,’ said the Doctor, their face barely an inch from Yaz’s. ‘Good idea.’

The Doctor steadily pulled Yaz back to being vertical, and the two of them continued the slow dance.

‘Not a bad date, am I?’ the Doctor said, grinning.

There was a sudden pause, as the force of that phrase washed over them both. The Doctor seemed to suddenly realise the implication of their words.

‘Er… I-I meant-’

‘No, you’re not.’ Yaz said, quickly. ‘You’re a good date.’

The Doctor stared at her for a second, before their mouth broke into a wide smile.

‘You mean it?’

‘Course,’ Yaz replied. ‘I wouldn’t have chosen anyone else.’

‘Yaz…you’re one of the greatest people I’ve ever met,’ the Doctor said, quietly. ‘I’ve seen so many things, so many people, been to tons of places, but… I wouldn’t want to be anywhere but here. With you.’

Yaz’s heart beat against her chest. The Doctor’s eyes were full of such tenderness that it took her breath away.

Yaz gripped the Doctor’s shoulder tightly, and closed the distance between the two of them, pressing her lips to the Doctors.

God, it was… perfect. Whereas their first kiss had been due to Yaz’s panic, this one was simple and sweet. It was tender, and soft, and everything Yaz had yearned for. The Doctor gently angled their head to kiss Yaz better, and they pulled softly on Yaz’s waist, bringing the two of them closer together.

Yaz didn’t have much experience kissing people but, she had to admit, she couldn’t have imagined a more perfect kiss.

‘Oooohhhh….’

Yaz and the Doctor broke apart, remembering that they were not in-fact the only people in the room. Several of Yaz’s younger cousins were grinning at them.

Yaz felt her face burn, but she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. The Doctor led her by the hand out of the hall, both of them ignoring all the wolf-whistles from Yaz’s relatives (and a supportive whoop from Dan).

The cool summer air was pleasant after the warm dancefloor.

The two of them made for a balcony terrace. It was empty, aside from them and a few potted plants.

The Doctor turned to face Yaz, and wrapped their hands around Yaz’s.

‘Yaz… I said that you’re one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. I mean that. I… I want to be with you.’

‘I love you too,’ Yaz said, stepping closer and tucking a strand of the Doctor’s blonde hair behind their ear. ‘As if that wasn’t obvious.’

‘Yaz…’ the Doctor said. ‘You know I said I was old. Well, I…’

‘Sshhhh,’ Yaz said, pressed a finger to the Doctor’s lips. ‘I know you’ve got a long history, but who doesn’t? It’s no good worrying about what the future may bring; can’t you just enjoy things as they happen?’

The Doctor stared at her for a moment, before squeezing Yaz’s other hand.

‘I… I think I can try. If you’re with me, Yaz.’

Yaz smiled.

‘You speak my language, Doctor.’

 *

 It was a few weeks later. Sonya, fresh from her and Ryan’s honeymoon, had just popped round to visit Yaz. Although, since this was Sonya, most of her visit consisted of enquiring about how Yaz and the Doctor were doing.

Yaz felt herself blush a little at the questions but, given that she was now holding hands with the Doctor, she found that she didn’t mind too much.

‘You two are so cute!’ Sonya said, grinning evilly. ‘Oooh, mum’s gonna be inviting you both round for dinner every weekend for the next few months. You should have seen her face when you two started snogging on the dancefloor-’

‘We weren’t snogging,’ Yaz mumbled, flustered. ‘We… we just kissed, that’s all.’

‘And it was bloody brilliant,’ the Doctor added, their eyes sparkling. ‘Didn’t I say Yaz was a good kisser?’

‘Oh, shut up,’ Yaz said, playing slapping the blonde on the arm. ‘You’re one to talk!’

Eventually, Sonya said that she really did need to get going, and Yaz followed her out to the front door.

Sonya gave Yaz a quick hug on the doorstep, and left. Yaz was just about to close the door, when an official-looking man in military fatigues marched up the path.

‘Letter for the Doctor.’

‘Er…’ Yaz said, momentarily thrown. ‘Hang on a sec…’

She yelled inside and, a few seconds later, the Doctor had joined her on the doorstep.

The military saluted and handed her the letter, before saluting again and leaving.

‘What was that all about?’

‘His badge said he was from U.N.I.T,’ replied the Doctor, as they walked back inside. The blonde was already opening up the letter. ‘Can’t imagine why they’d want to send me a letter, though…’

They trailed off, as they sat down on the sofa and began to read the letter. The blonde’s mouth dropped open.

‘What?’ Yaz said, sitting down beside them. ‘Something wrong?’

In response, the Doctor handed Yaz the letter.

 Dear Doctor,

You are cordially invited to the wedding of the future Mrs and Mrs Tegan and Nyssa Jovanka-Traken. Normally we’d request a RSVP at your earliest convenience, but -given the circumstances- we don’t think it’s really necessary. Although please try a little bit harder than when you tried dropping Tegan off at Heathrow.

We asked some of the U.N.I.T people to deliver this to your current incarnation; be prepared to see a few friendly faces at the wedding, I think Ace McShane was planning on creating the fireworks display for the reception.

Looking forward to seeing you ago; hopefully, you haven’t changed bodies too many times. Make sure to bring a plus-one; we can’t have you awkwardly sitting by yourself in the front row.

Love,

Nyssa and Tegan

 Yaz turned to the Doctor.

‘Did you used to travel with them?’ she asked. ‘Why the shock?’

‘They sure kept that quiet!’ The Doctor said, letting out a bark of laughter. ‘The two of them used to share a bedroom, and here I was thinking they were super close friends instead! Blimey, Nyssa and Tegan a proper couple ‘n all…’

‘Was it a while ago?’

‘In earth-time? Early 1980s? I was blonde back then as well, although I used to wear cricket clothes a lot…’

Yaz stared at them for a second, but laughing and throwing an arm around the blonde’s shoulders.

‘So… it seems you can take a plus-one.’

‘So it does,’ the Doctor said, smiling a little shyly. ‘Fancy coming along?’

Yaz grinned.

‘Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Doctor.’

 ~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading, everyone! That concludes this little series; I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I have more Thirteen/Yaz fics planned for the future, as well as other Doctor Who pairings (you can probably guess which pairing from this last chapter 🤣).

And -yes- I do have plans to write a fic about Yaz and the Thirteenth Doctor going to Nyssa and Tegan's wedding, so stay tuned!

Thanks again for reading! 

[angelsaxis]

okay continuation of this post because it got wayyy too long lmao

ah, flashbacks. first his mom, then the ice--linking parts i and ii to the new part ii

the casting for this was so good tho. like chiron shoved himself DEEP back into the closet (not to imply that he ever like super came out) and now theyve got rhodes (a really good actor)--who's way bigger and more masculine in appearance than the first two versions of Chiron.

Juan also looked like that. Juan was also a drug dealer and now look what Chiron is doing.

"where the hos at" he's gotten good at hiding his panic face but that silence was definitely him trying to come up with a Het Response

part iii is titled Black--the name that doesn't fit him, the nickname that is more what Chiron is "supposed" to be than what he actually is, and then nickname that Kevin gave him.

love how his kitchen is blue. promo poster has adult chiron in a softer, greyer blue but idk how much we'll see that color here.

im gonna cry he really has the baby photo of him and his mom. him promising to go visit his mom >>>>

he was so chatty up until kev called.

(the diner lighting is blue) and chiron is STILL a crybaby. his whole facade just CRASHES the second he's talking to kev

Paula being civil about theresa....i have no comment on her apology scene other than that i loved it

(i think chiron gets his face touching from paula)

I think hearing "im sorry" from paula is what gave chiron the strength he needed to go visit kevin.

the spanish music the image of children playing at a blue beach.....its juan. this part is about Chiron reclaiming himself and finally figuring out who he is. i think it also helps to show the time transition because he left in the day and didn't show up til WAY late at night

chiron's utterly speechless man.

"dont look like your ass been missing no meals" he says, staring directly at Chiron's tits

im lovin the tension between them. kevin is making rice and beans--the first meal Chiron had with Juan and Theresa.

"so you cuban now?" / "only in the kitchen Papi" i gonna explode

chiron "i dont drink" chugging the whole thing....okay

That Gay Disappointment. They've got funny methods of pulling information out of each other like I'm sure Kevin only brought p samantha to point out that he's single and now he's just outright demanding the same info from Chiron kajshdlfjaks

"grandma rules" and eating and talking....the spirit of Theresa is with them

Chiron avoiding confronting the fact that he's gay by talking about his current illegal job + prison life. "that aint you, chiron" and thus begins the interrogation of Chiron

"You dont know me" / "i dont know you" theyre thinking about the beach and tbh kevin is so funny for this.

i think that was just a sound of the beach we heard through the open door.

see kevin is trying to chew chiron out for not being himself meanwhile he's hiding the real reason why he called chiron.

Im gonna lose my mind over this song cause up til this point everything has been so subtle but the LYRICS

dont have much comment on the car conversation but i love how relaxed they are here

chiron dumbass so excited to see kevin again he forgot he didn't actually. have somewhere to sleep.

(Chiron's license plate says BLACK305, 305 is the miami area code)

idk if this is the same beach that he and kev had the first beach scene on but hello. a beach.\

oh my god kevin is wearing blue. but for once this color has a POSITIVE association, chiron's entire outlook really is changing for the better

see with this beach in the background they can address names and identities again. they couldn't do that in the diner, like it just didn't work out. but they're at/near the beach and they've relaxed.

I forgot how good this kitchen conversation was; Chiron is so JUMPY like when he's turned inside out and he's really forced to confront a part of himself he'd rather not, he's fidgeting and dodging eye contact and stammering and pausing a lot.

"you the only man that's ever touched me" Chiron is literally breathing so fast afte rhe says this. all of that was building in him since kev called him and from the start of the kitchen convo he did NOT stop squirming

And at the end, he becomes Chiron.

[theleftycanadianradical]

“I Stand With Trudeau”, is the Rallying Cry of the Moderate

In response to two days of a trending hashtag, by Liberals applauding Justin Trudeau, I can’t help but think of Martin Luther King’s biting criticism for white moderates, in his Letter from a Birmingham Jail, where he said:

"First, I must confess that over the last few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Council-er or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice…”

As someone who cares more about ACTIONS and POLICY over performance, looking back on Trudeau’s track record on policy (you know, the stuff that actually changes the material conditions of our lives?), as we approach election 44, I am unmoved by his gestures such as kneeling at Black Lives Matter, or correctly pointing out xenophobia displayed in politicians like Yves Blanchet’s coded language, for a few reasons.

First, Liberal supporters ignore that Justin Trudeau voted for S-7, also known as Stephen Harper’s Zero Tolerance for Barbaric Cultural Practices Act. This controversial bill led to the infamous, “Barbaric Cultural Practices Tip-line”, and his support for it directly contradicts his disapproval for the Islamophobia he is calling out.

Liberals also excuse Trudeau’s selling of arms to Saudi Arabia, that aid in the killing of Yemeni people. Justin Trudeau has increased arms sales in HIS renegotiated weapons contract beyond what Stephen Harper had sold. Liberals will ignore how we can give the banks $750 Billion in liquidity supports, effectively creating money into existence. Then they will defend Trudeau’s arms deal, by blaming Harper, saying our hands are tied because it would cost $1 Billion to rescind this blood-contract.

In other foreign policy matters, Canada’s human rights abuses in our mining sector abroad and our support for christo-fascist regimes in coup attempts against Indigenous leaders and their Indigenous supporters in countries like Bolivia, also doesn’t seem to bother Liberals.

Domestically, Liberals have excused in the last election, Justin Trudeau’s multiple instances of minstrelesque, Brown and Blackface. Now… look, this is something by itself, that  I can forgive being in the past; however, combined with all of the other instances of racism it is part of a pattern. The evidence that there is a clear lack of antiracism and allyship on behalf of the Liberal party, and Trudeau, is piling up.

“I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I can't agree with your methods of direct action;" who paternalistically feels he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by the myth of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait until a "more convenient season." 

- Martin Luther King.

Liberals also ignore that we do not track poverty on reserves where it is some of the highest in Canada, so the claims of lifting children out of poverty last election did not actually include First Nations children. They defend the taking of First Nations children to court to appeal an award from the Ontario Human Rights Commission. Liberals brush off the failure to meet 2015 promises to deliver clean drinking water to reserves as pipelines for oil move ahead. Liberals made excuses as Trudeau said, “thank you for your donation” to Indigenous protestors, demanding action on the promise to build a rehabilitation facility for Mercury Poisoning victims in Grassy Narrows.

Liberals were also silent when Trudeau’s cabinet, this past winter, voted against a motion to respect the rights of Mi’kmaq to fish when they were being harassed by white supremacists for exercising their treaty rights. Finally, Liberals have also ignored the 3 failing grades that the Liberals have gotten on the MMIWG report, or that First Nations had turned to the UN for help on this.

When it comes to criminal reforms, Liberals let slide Justin Trudeau’s broken promises to eliminate Stephen Harper’s mandatory minimum jail sentences, which impacts Indigenous and Black Canadians who are overrepresented and overpoliced in Canada. And they also ignored when the Liberals passed amendments under Bill C-75 that eliminates due process, and that the Canadian Bar Association and Canadian Civil Liberties Association both said were not evidence based and systemically discriminate against Indigenous Canadians and visible minorities. Further confounding systemic racism in our justice system.

Liberals ignore that our Public Safety Minister, Bill Blair, as Chief of TPS, systematically discriminated against Black and Brown boys, violating their Charter Rights by racially targeting and carding them in the City of Toronto. And they ignore that Black people were 20 times more likely to be shot and 5 times more likely to be tased by the TPS, according to Dr. Wortley’s findings in the Ontario Human Rights Commission’s report on SIU cases involving the TPS.  Or how farcical and egregious it is that someone like Bill Blair, with this kind of track record is charged with overseeing systemic racism in the RCMP in Canada!

BUT when Trudeau does something performative that doesn’t actually do anything to improve systemic racism in Canada or advance the lives of Indigenous, Black or other visible minorities in Canada, such as kneeling at BLM or taking issue with Yves Blanchet’s coded language (meanwhile supporting discriminatory legislation), or substituting representation for policy, they DO NOT IGNORE THAT.

They will tweet an “IStandWithTrudeau” hashtag, on Twitter for two days, which is more time and attention they give to holding Trudeau accountable for actually addressing these problems instead of contributing to them.

It’s tone-deaf and frustrating to watch year after year, election after election. To close, I leave you with the words of MLK, who also said:

“Shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection."

Which says it perfectly.  @allthecanadianpolitics

[venomous-system]

Hello.

I want to post here about something, since the system is somewhat public and I felt like I need to explain this.

There are several introjects in Venom whose sources are the villains in their stories. These alters range from morally gray/ambiguous characters (ex: Mikey and Hanma from Tokyo Revengers, and practically any Tokyo Ghoul fictive, mainly Ayato) to outright evil/extremely problematic (ex: Tetta Kisaki, Ryo Asuka, and myself).

None of these alters are persecutors. None of them are dangerous. They all have their reasons for forming, mostly as coping mechanisms for the body/system as a whole. I’m not about to air the traumas that caused such alters to form publicly, but the short version more or less comes down to this: the two previous hosts (original body holder included) had bad people in their life who constantly victim-blamed and guilt tripped, and it left both of them feeling like monsters.

The body is diagnosed as autistic, among other things, and without fully knowing if it’s caused by the autism or not, both previous hosts had the habit of going numb in painful situations. The psychiatric professional we’ve been mainly treated by refers to this as a “crisis mode,” and says it’s not a bad thing to have. On the contrary, it’s a self preservation tool that just helps the body to stay calm and handle things logically without having a panic attack right away. The meltdowns, shutdowns, and panic attacks that come from these moments usually happen later, after the dust has settled. In the moment, however, it’s much more common that tears not be shed. Instead, the physical reaction of the body, especially with our previous host, is to become practically robotic. For a reference to what the speech and behavior would look and sound like, look to Abed in the show Community or practically any other autistic-coded character.

The way this has caused a negative effect is mostly during arguments, as a child, or as a reaction to abuse. We as a whole have dealt with abuse from multiple angles and sources. I will not go into detail about it on a public Tumblr post, but the longest period of it came from a girl who was two years older than the physical body. The system was physically 10 when meeting her, and 20 the last time we saw her. She has abused, blackmailed, and stalked Venom during those ten years. One of the worst things, however, was reactive abuse. She constantly used fake tears, rumors, and dog whistles to make our previous hosts feel evil for the way they experienced emotion, mainly pain and suffering.

She had put this idea in Venom’s head that not crying means you’re heartless, or that you aren’t hurt, when in reality, autistic and heavily traumatized people (or really just nd people in general) show their emotions differently. It took a long time to stop feeling like a monster, and to be honest, it hasn’t fully gone away even now.

That’s why our last host would get so attached to villainous characters, enough so that their subconscious mind would spawn a copy of them. Every single one of them, as alters, are polite and kind, if not a bit shy. Many of their memories differ from their sources, and some don’t even identify with their source enough to be called “Fictives.”

They all have one of two things in common:

1) Their sources are coded as being autistic or neurodivergent (ex: Tetta Kisaki)

2) They can’t handle/don’t understand painful emotions and decided they must be monsters because of it (ex: Ryo Asuka)

Personally, I, Yuki (until recently I went by Vi on here) formed as an introject of Scaramouche/Kunikizushi/Wanderer from Genshin Impact. Being so incapable of processing emotions, not to mention being a literal robot, is what caused the attachment to my source to form. As an alter, I’ve been here for less than a year and have already become the main host (out of necessity), which hadn’t left much time for self discovery or figuring out anything about who I am or want to be.

I don’t perfectly identify with my source, but I will still acknowledge him being my source because there is a reason I formed the way I did. And that reason is the same as any other villain introject: If even I, who actually has committed atrocities, can be worthy of love, then surely an autistic child whose greatest crime is nothing more than a monotone voice and not crying as often as other people could never be a monster incapable of love.

Tldr: Don’t disrespect introjects based on their source alone. There is a reason every alter/headmate/other forms, and you don’t know what that might be. Introjects aren’t their sources.

Also, neurodivergent kids aren’t cold or cruel just because you don’t see them cry. Your emotions are valid whether you visibly display them or not. It’s okay to react differently to pain than the people around you.

You are not a monster.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

- Yuki

Edit: If you don’t like any of our sources and my post flew over your head, just unfollow and block. Haters will be blocked on sight. Thanks!

Edit 2: If you read/interpret the mentioned sources differently, cool, your views are valid. But this is not a post to debate the moral alignments of anime villains, just an explanation of why introjects form. I am not inviting anyone to argue headcanons over a system positivity post.

[sjw-publishings]

Counselling through the Snow

“Ugh, Caleb Benedict where are you?”

Leonard brisk walked impatiently, side by side on the pavement looking for his boyfriend who sent a message saying he would be an hour late due to some last minute coding assignment his teacher asked him to submit.

Its been way over an hour.

He had been patient for a year now, ever since his boyfriend got into that university, they exchanged fewer and fewer messages each month, with most of them being about his school.

And from the most recent messages they shared, it seemed like the university is having a deficit of staff as of late and there are rumours that the new Principal is in favour of shaping more... conservative staff starting next semester after the break.

Whatever that means, who knows. Because truthfully all Leonard cares about is being with his boyfriend who he has barely seen in person all year, despite living in the same town.

If anything, he hoped for a miracle for them to never be separated again. But he figured the thought of it would barely be able to counsel him unless it had happened.

“Ah! Leonard Morgan is that you?”

At the mention of his name, he turned around, expecting his boyfriend, but the baritone rumble that allured him sure spoke otherwise.

And lo and behold was a sight to feast on.

A tall man, clearly over 6ft, strode down towards him. Dressed in a completely dapper blue suit, which framed his broad...yet conservative sized shoulders excellently, like he was sculpted with delicate procedures.

Of course, the unbuttoned top row of buttons from the dress shirt tucked behind his vest definitely drew the eyes of Leonard, who could see the neatly brushed hair follicles over his tanned pecs.

And with the way they are displayed, its almost inviting him to wanna grab them if the man allows it. Not even his lean boyfriend could compare to how handsome this man was.

Yet the man remained plastered with a faint, yet confident smile. Like a confident man whose reassured of himself and his life,

Holding a medium sized turquoise laptop to the side, with a clearly distinguishable high-end watch brand watch which showed he is well-off. A far cry from the casual attire his boyfriend and himself would wear.

Coming nearer, he got a closer look at his facial features.

Squared jaw which framed his well-kempt beard over those luscious lips. Gelled dark brown locks over at the top, stylishly parting to the side with the rest of his hair being short and manageable, unlike Caleb’s messy long mop.

Finally, framing his lenses were dark blue square medium sized spectacles, the Metrosexual look only enhancing those manly brows and entrancing eyes which made Leonard just want to...stare at them forever. At this handsome hunk in his late forties .

“Professor Francis Beaumont, a pleasure to meet you.”

The Professor extended out his left hand from his pocket, snapping Leonard out of his trance as he quickly shook his hand, flushing at his earlier thoughts.

He had a boyfriend, and while he found other guys attractive, he was never this flustered with anyone until this guy, whose faint Parisian roots and aristocratic scent just kept sending rumbles to his core...and his attraction meter to the roof.

Leonard had to check at least.

Glancing down, still in the firm, warm grip of the handshake,a silver glint stuck out from the man’s thick digit, the kind of hands that were warm and fatherly.

Which made sense, as a silver ring was encased over on his left.

It was...almost disappointing to the young college student, but he-had a boyfriend anyway...he shouldn’t be looking at another man like that.

Even if he is incredibly hot.

“My sincere apologies, my wife and I had... important duties to attend to back in campus.”

Although despite the stoic expression he tried to keep on his face, a sheepish grin rose to the professor as well as the rosy tints on his cheeks.

But before Leonard could notice that, the professor released his grip, opting to place his right arm over the young man’s shoulder as he guided him down the path into the park.

“I know I know, the open public isn’t the best place for counselling, but I assure you we won’t be bothered here.”

As they walked down the path, all Leonard heard was that of his voice. Smooth like honey, an American citizen...but with the unique flair of the french.

A warm and caring father, guiding him to a place just the two of them. He never knew how much...how much he wanted this, almost like his frustrations from earlier were nothing compared to being next to this man.

“Who...Who exactly are you?”

“Well you specifically requested me for counselling, so how could I refuse?”

Obviously, he knew it was Professor Francis. He had just told the young man his name...right? No, not just that, he heard of the

Computer science professor for quite a while.

A charismatic hunk that charmed his students from all across the modules he taught, and others from across campus. He was not a part of the University, but from the rumours of this man, he wanted to be a part of it because of this professor.

Was his boyfriend the one who told him about the Professor? It made sense if he was, they always crushed on other guys despite sticking by the others side.

“Yes...I really require counselling...”

The man was always open to help others due to his fatherly instincts. Having young adults at home, he somehow knew exactly what to say to help the students as a counsellor on the side.

That being said, there are rumours that he was a major conservative. Maybe Leonard could have recognised it with the slight and subtle glances he kept giving on the blushing youth, but most students completely brushed over that part anyway with how kind and understanding he was to their problems.

“Indeed...our session will certainly be life changing.”

They eventually came to a stop at an open bench, with no one else in sight other than the two of them. Sitting down, side by side, the fatherly grip held tight onto Leonard’s shoulder.

“Tell me about...your relationship with your boyfriend.”

Cutting to the chase, it kinda startled Leonard that the Professor could tell about his attraction to him, asking him to talk about it as their first session above all things-?

...No, that did not make sense right?

There were numerous text messages exchanged back and forth if he could remember. Talking about his problems freely as the professor guided him understandingly without charge. It had just been over a month too...yet it felt like forever.

Staring at the male, and his warm smile was enough for Leonard to fess up.

“He keeps...refusing to see me.”

Sighing to himself, yet again...his university boyfriend ditched him in favour of his ‘coding projects’ which he suspected to be seeing other men, not outright but from the way they chatted...it gave the impression.

GRIP!

Yet the fatherly assurance from the professor reassured him that everything will be alright. Not necessarily with his intimate relationship with his boyfriend, but to be fair, he had been pretty busy lately. Even if they lived close by, they were busy, but they made the effort to communicate with one another.

“He’s a part of your university and I’m not.”

Leonard spoke, mainly because he wished he had the grades to make it with his boyfriend to the Uni, maybe even campus mates, but growingly...he wished to have an easier way to meet with the Professor, it was difficult for outsiders to get a session with-

GRIP!

Of course sometimes Leonard did not feel like a part of the University, but his counsellor reassured him otherwise. His University boyfriend barely spent time with him due to being of different majors, but he liked what he studied.

“What are you studying again?”

The professor spoke, directing his attention to him once again.

What was he studying? The freshmen definitely preferred something artsy...but as he stared at the warm, fatherly gaze of the other male, he felt it sort of unpractical to pursuit that kind of path.

Like it was not him.

GRIP!

“Computer Science of course!”

“Indeed, you are one of my best students.”

Smirking to himself, sitting up straighter as he gained a few centimetres in height. Puffing out his chest as his ideals shifted almost instantly due to his professor’s praise.

He was a teacher’s Pet after all.

Which is why the professor even spent the time during the holidays to meet him. Exchanging texts to see if everything was alright, like a true father figure indeed.

Not to mention, his professor is quite the looker. Blushing to himself as the soft brushes from hand to hand, yet the confidence from the professor stuck by him as he sat up straighter. He was not a conservative, but it was a lie to say the professor did not influence his outlook in life for quite a bit.

“May I know more about the crush towards your friend?”

Friend? Did he meant...uh, Rancale? His buddy? Yeah he was cute, nothing compared to the professor but cute.

“He always talks about others like he’s so interested in them?”

They only get together for the past few months, and yet, his boy...friend kept talking about others over and over, and not in a ‘I want to be friends’ kind of way. The kind of thing you see from guys who are not together with another-

GRIP!

“Well I mean you aren’t together and it makes sense with your hormones on the loose.”

It made sense, with the way his best friend kept talking about other guys...and girls across campus, he clearly was not interested in him...

Though strangely enough, he felt content.

Honestly, the more he thought about his best friend like that, he felt genuinely uncomfortable despite being...gay, sort of? But when they chatted about potential mates...damn, where those hot.

“May I know more about what you think would impress another guy?”

Aleonar thought briefly, thinking about what his friend would like...before his eyes focused on the Professor once again.

If anything, he was far closer to the professor than that other guy, and he knew what the Professor liked.

“Well certainly a stronger physique...the kind of man who could jog for ages.”

As he spoke, he felt his thighs solidified beneath the skinny jeans he wore. Toning heavily as they struggled to show off their muscular depth below.

Next up were his feet, as they expanded beyond those soles at a powerful stomping size 12s. He definitely aced the tracks since when he was a youth, a star athlete with brains, a fitting combination as anyone would agree.

“Who also kept his upper body in shape...you know, like a real man!”

With that exclamation, his pectorals strained against the tee he wore, jutting out nicely as a lean yet obscure six pack could be seen below if someone took a closer look. He looked good, but felt like the goods were only reserved for bed.

And the rest up to imagination. With his biceps doubling in size, yet straining against his long sleeved shirt, guys and gals could only dream of seeing this teacher’s Pet unclothed, but too bad! Alongside those wide shoulder blades that rivalled his Teacher’s.

If anything, he could’ve sworn they were-

“Matured, around their late forties, but still looking good!”

Of course! His fellow colleague and him hung out a lot. Professor Bene..., Professor Beaumont and him were like two peas in a pod, ever since they were roommates back in college.

With that realisation, Professor Morganez felt proud of towering his over 6ft worth of experience, swinging his stronger arms over to his colleague as best friends through thick and thin.

As such, thick strains of fur layered over his chest, arms, and down below. Testosterone groomed in the older male, the way it ought to as a real man.

And both him and Beaumont were real men for all he knew.

“Mix-race, just like your good ol pal!”

With that remark, his skin darkened two shades into a healthy dark brown. Stretching all over as Professor Martinez smirked at his hispanic heritage, and even though he-like his buddy Beaumont, knew only traces of it as they were raised in American households, their mixed ethnicity definitely helped them stand out!

Especially towards their potential spouses!

“The kind of man who would wingmen the other any day!”

Yes his buddy Beaumont was dashing...but it felt better if they stayed as friends you know. The kind of men that would stay by the others side.

Professor’s a charmer, but it was laughable to think they were an item when they were such good ‘brothers’ after all, not in a literal sense...but very similar in terms of personality.

Though Professor Beaumont must be the most clueless dad next door boomer to think he was 100% straight by only setting him up with only women throughout the years, or he’s doing it intentionally.

But how could Galeonar Martinez refuse offers from his bud?

“That and he ought to dress well always, in and out of work.”

With that remark, Professor Martinez stretched his arms widely, as the fabric went along with his movements.

First off was his top, as it simplified to a plain, but a somewhat high quality navy blue dress shirt. Nothing too fancy like his metrosexual bud, but it hugged his frame quite well. It kept his students’ attention during lessons, but not too much that it became a distraction.

Next up where the remaining traces of fabric over on his chest, as they slid down over to wrists, the left forming a similar branded watch to his bud, and a couple of beads and bands on the right to show his generally relaxed and chill outlook in life.

Down below, his skinny jeans loosened up to large beige dress pants, as they tightened up with cinching on a patterned belt, one that is not made of leather post transformation.

Holding his feet below are neat and polished brown dress shoes with winged tips. As his larger feet settled in typical white socks, ones that rested his aged feet in the ‘casual professionalism’ look he liked to maintain.

“So how are the kids?”

Kids? The Professor stared back at his colleague bud and best friend, who remained silent earlier as he discussed about...something?

It was not about children though...hence the conversation. Did Beaumont still insist he was straight after all this time?

Though for some reason...he kinda wanted to play along.

“They were...great?”

As soon as he said those words, a large goofy grin stretched across his lips as he clutched his head, feeling a massive shift in algorithm as euphoria surged within the computer science professor’s head.

His buttocks clenched hard, as his body jolted up STRAIGHT. Debugging the errors as the exit door narrowed to that of a ‘natural passage’, tightening his shoulders as they became designed to take care of offspring...rather than being dependent on a fellow father.

“How is your fatherhood?”

Lips licking below, his natural hair follicles brushed around his chin and upper lip, forming a tasty chestnut beard for the older male. The kind that was fertilised by a bunch of...juices from the opposite sex.

“Great as a payday raise!”

Dad jokes here, as his hair shortened and styled to a professional quiff. It felt...so good thinking about being a father, wait-he was a father! With offspring as a matter of fact.

He remembered when he used to...find guys hot? But damn, were women hotter. His conservative background certainly supported so, and certainly he was-

“How is...your wife?”

His pouch expanded in size, a powerful size 12 inches as thick wads of testosterone swirled in his powerful sacks. They were experienced in the art of pounding, not liberal arts, but rather ‘the art of masculinity’.

Pumping! Of course, his wife! His chasing days were over years ago, and now fully dedicated to ‘dear ol wifey’. Just thinking about her..., and the steamy sessions in bed, it made him wanna-

GRIP!

“She’s great as always!”

Professor Gale Martinez creamed in his briefs, letting loose any notion of being with another male as his cream trailed upwards, and around his ring finger. Solidifying the married professor that he always was.

Eyes blinking into a dark brown, neat strips of brows wiggling in a satisfied afterglow, as he continued with his casual conversation with his ex college roommate.

“From counsellor to counsellor, the students have been really gay lately.”

“Huh, shame they can’t be gay with their wives.”

“Haha!”

The two of them laughed, still having their boomer sense of humour even after all these years.

Professor Martinez had to be reassigned to a different university after moving into a new town with his wife years ago, it wasn’t easy leaving behind the campus that he taught for over 10 years, even if it became more liberal than to his liking.

But after he stepped foot on the campus grounds, to his surprise, guess who greeted him?

His old colleague Francis!

They haven’t seen each other for years since they parted ways since graduation. They kept in touch, but family time and being across different states made it difficult to spend time with one another as pals.

But now that they’re back together, they’re sure to stick to the other like glue. And hey! Maybe if they did a counselling session together, they could probably set the campus youths straight!

“Remember the O’slogan we used to say when we were younger Gale?”

The married man stepped up, and placed both hands in his pockets.

Of course he remembered, and proudly exclaimed it in the middle of the park.

“Nothing beats making out with your wife!”

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Creation”

Happy Saturday, everyone! Oh man, oh man, oh man. I think I'll need to steer clear of the general RWBY tags this week, simply because I know the sort of responses I'll see to this episode. From smug celebration at Ironwood's downfall, to bad takes about what makes us human, this episode is a petri dish of sensitive material handled insensitively.

Let’s unpack it, shall we? 

We open on an action that feels like a summery of the last three volumes: a grimm attacks an airship from the front, no doubt killing its pilot, while the other grimm conveniently ignore our heroes, no masking in sight. The group looks a little sad at the destruction around them, but ultimately ignore it because they have bigger, heroic things to do. I could write a whole, additional essay on how the huntsmen code — to protect the people — has been warped and abandoned by our protagonists in their effort to do what they think is right. It's a tale that might have been compelling if only RT knew they were writing it.

We get a shot of Atlas drones unloading the bomb before one is taken out, presumably by Qrow and Robyn. Segueing to Ironwood and the Ace Ops, they're waiting for Penny to arrive, the former carrying a massive gun presumably capable of capturing her. Despite the horror we saw on their faces last episode at the realization that Ironwood would kill Marrow for speaking up, it seems that now the Ace Ops are entirely in agreement with these measures. A week ago the implication was that they fell back in line out of fear, but now Harriet talks passionately about "putting down" the group if they were stupid enough to accompany Penny. "The General gave his terms." Vine sighs at this, but doesn't actively disagree. He's just "retracing the steps that led us here."

So, congratulations on introducing four new characters, not bothering to develop any of them, killing one off while ignoring Qrow's hand in that, and having the other three become all, "Yeah! Mass murder is a perfect solution!" off screen. Marrow is the only one with something resembling development and, as covered in these recaps, that's been pretty badly executed too.

Ironwood sends them to deal with Robyn and Qrow after Winter reappears to "assist" him. That gets quotation marks because most viewers at this point have realized that she's who our two birbs spotted in the elevator. Winter isn't on Ironwood's side anymore, she's just skillfully clearing the field for the final attack. Indeed, we get a moment where she hesitantly brings up the bomb and Ironwood responds that he hopes she's not going to try and talk him out of it. No. Winter doesn't think that's possible. This was her final attempt at peace.

One of the reasons why I think I'll stick to my own blog for a while is because the fandom has a tendency to paint broad personality traits as evil when applied to some characters, yet simultaneously heroic when applied to others, when really it's about how that those traits are used. What I mean is, I've seen a lot of Ironwood critical posts that emphasize how stubborn he is. He thinks he's right and he won't back down. He wont listen to others. He's going through with this plan and if anyone tries to stop him? That's their mistake. Totally evil, right? Except, this is the exact same behavior Ruby displays, particularly in Volumes 6 and 7. She was stubborn about stealing from Argus and continuing the fight to the point where it endangered her and her teammates, to say nothing of the rest of the city. She refused to listen to Qrow, or Ironwood, or the Ace Ops, loudly announcing that she was right about, well, everything. If they didn't agree with her, the options were to leave the group entirely, or fight her. The actual difference here is that the writers have taken Ironwood to an extreme, one that's incredibly easy to understand as bad because it is bad: bombing Mantle has no defense. Ruby pulls the exact same nonsense, it's just not to that same extreme and her actions are followed by scenes that are meant to make us forgive her: a sad look because she didn't mean to get a city attacked by a leviathan grimm, a cry on the staircase because she didn't mean to risk the lives of an entire kingdom... even though she did. Ironwood is the bad guy because he's been written to take specific, OOC actions like shooting unarmed kids. He's not the bad guy because when other characters go, "Don't do this" his response is, "I have to." Because that's been Ruby's motto ever since she "had" to use the Lamp to rip Ozpin’s life story away. RWBY introduced those extreme actions of shooting the youngest in the group (for no reason) and threatening to bomb a city (for no reason) or shooting a councilman (for no reason) because when you remove those you've got a man who looks exactly like our hero. Ironwood's arc has been peppered with these confusing, unpersuasive actions because if you just keep the story as him stubbornly keeping to a plan he thinks will save the world, you're left with the reminder that all Ruby has done lately is stubbornly keep to plans she thinks will save the world. This moment with Winter just highlights how ill thought out Ironwood's descent has been because he does everything Ruby does... with a few, tacked on, “and randomly shoots people!” moments to ensure we understand that he’s definitely evil. No comparison to our heroes here, folks! 

Ironwood is a bad guy now. That’s certain, but he was made that way so the story never had to grapple with the question of what that means for Ruby if we really start condemning things like lying, secrets, stubbornness, or endangering others for the greater good. Well then damn, if we strip away the hypocrisy then she might not be a good person after all. Or the people she’s simplistically labeled as bad might not be the devils Ruby claims they are. 

But that’s a level of nuance RWBY would rather pretend doesn’t exist. 

All of which is highlighted by Ironwood’s reaction to "Penny." He sighs and sags over the gun, immediately putting it aside. With his hand on her shoulder, Ironwood tells her she's "done the right thing." Precisely the same way Ruby would lower Crescent Rose and give someone a smile when they decided to fall in line with her.

Which, of course, is the moment when Emerald reveals herself, dispelling the Penny illusion and revealing Team JNPR The Second behind her. She gives a quip about it feeling "weird" to do the right thing before disappearing.

From there the action picks up fast. I really enjoyed this battle simply from a choreography and energy standpoint. It gets the blood pumping, Ironwood's hand-to-hand is spectacular — especially that moment against Ren — and the group actually displays teamwork for the first time in what feels like forever, all of them needed to land a hit on Ironwood. As always, out of the context of the rest of the show it feels and looks great. My primary issue is that we get this fantastic fight against Ironwood. Not Salem, not Cinder, not Watts (like last volume when Ironwood was still a hero), not even Emerald as a means of transitioning from murderous villain to the group's best bud. No, what's arguably the best action sequence in the volume thus far goes to beating up the guy they betrayed from the start. There's no catharsis for me here, only frustration as we watch Ironwood stand in shock as Winter powers up Nora — who's fine now, I guess — and she slams her hammer into his face. 

It never should have come to this and when a good character is done so dirty, their downfall doesn't evoke the emotions the writers are looking for. Watching Ironwood fall doesn't generate feelings of victory, or even tragedy at a course of events others were powerless to stop. It's just frustration at watching years worth of bad writing, sprinkled with fantastic ideas that never go anywhere.

Oscar gets a few hits in, Ironwood snatches his cane, and just as he's about to throw a punch, Winter arrives with the most dramatic sword slash I've ever seen.

Ironwood's aura breaks and he falls, unconscious. We cut to an image of a droid's head separated from its body, one of Robyn's arrows through its skull. That doesn't have meaning or anything.

I suppose I should be grateful they didn't rip Ironwood's arm away during the fight, or outright kill him, though I'm still expecting him to die before the end of the volume.

Hmm. Wouldn't that be something? If after Salem's arrival, freezing cold, a Hound attack, grimm soup, a giant whale, a massive army, and a hack ending in self-destruction, the one character who actually dies is Ironwood. 

It's looking more and more likely.

Honestly, beyond all the obvious, what's so frustrating about this fight is that characters are only now using their impressive abilities to their fullest. Emerald creates an entire fantasy of what's happening and then straight up disappears, but she only does a half-assed version of that when fighting against Penny. (And really, she put more effort into helping the heroes she just joined over Cinder, the woman she's been obsessed with since the start?) Marrow refuses to use "Stay" against a group they wanted to peacefully arrest because that's just too horrible an act, I guess, but he'll do it on his own teammates the second Qrow and Robyn don’t want to fight.  

This is what I mean when I say the rules of the world bend to assist the protagonists in absurd ways. It's not nearly as egregious as Amity suddenly being up and running, but the fact that characters become substantially more powerful while fighting for the protagonists than they do against them is still a significant problem.

So Ironwood is down and out. As much as I hated watching that and didn't necessarily want more, am I the only one who felt like it was... a bit lackluster? I mean, the action was great, yes, but relatively short. There was no dialogue, such as another delve into the moral questions that led to this fight in the first place. There certainly wasn’t any hesitance against fighting a former ally. (Again, we’re meant to believe that the Ace Ops won because they just couldn’t bear to fight the group seriously, but every former ally here is capable of wailing on Ironwood without a single pause or pained look?) Ironwood just skillfully blocks for a while, is blindsided by Winter's betrayal, and then falls unconscious. Given that we learn he and Jacques will be evacuated after the rest of the kingdom, it's possible he'll escape somehow and we'll get a fight 2.0, but if not that feels like a rather tame end to the guy forced into the antagonist seat. Plus, what was the point of having Qrow frothing at the mouth to kill him this whole volume? I never wanted that to happen, I'm glad it hasn't, but I'm nevertheless left to ask why we bothered with that eleven episode side plot if we were going to erase it with one sentence from Robyn about Qrow being better than this. If that's all it took, let them work through Qrow's irrational anger while sitting around in a cell.

Winter tells the group to move onto "phase two" which is when we're treated to a flashback. We return to the ending of the last episode, with Ruby realizing that opening the vault is an option. Jaune, all smiles, goes, "We never considered using what's inside!"

This is what I mean about no consequences! This is what I mean about it all being a meaningless circle that ends with undeserved praise for the group! We started this horror show with Ironwood going, "We don't have a plan to protect the people, so I'm going to take what people we do have to safety" and the group going, "We don't have a plan either, but we're going to stop you implementing your plan because it's not perfect, risking a kingdom's worth of lives in the process." Now, the group has used two plans, one of which two characters knew about at the start and another they could have devised with the information they had. Oscar and Ozpin's, "We have an all powerful magical blast in our cane" and the group's "What if we used the Staff for something other than raising Atlas?" are both things that could have come up in the office debate. These were both always on the table! Instead, Ruby grew furious over the mere thought of cutting their losses, betrayed Ironwood again, attacked his people, denounced him to the world, and then two days later goes, "Oh wait! We could do something now that we could have easily done before if we hadn't made a needless enemy!" 

Everyone realizes how much worse they made things, right? Turning against Ironwood, bringing everyone left in Mantle directly under Atlas, sitting around while an army was devoured, drawing it out until Penny was hacked... all of it would have been avoided if the group had thought and discussed things for a few minutes, not jumping straight to violently resisting what Ironwood came up with first. "We never considered..." Ruby says. Yeah, you didn't, except that's not something to smile about. The group made the situation a thousand times worse with their reaction when they could have just magically evacuated the kingdom from the start. “Maybe we could use it to save Penny and get everyone in Atlas and Mantle back to safety." Nothing has changed! They had this ability the whole time! Nothing about the last twelve episodes led them here, they just randomly thought of it after RT had padded the volume with needless drama. Considering that they're heading to Vacuo now, we could have just made this the finale of Volume 7 instead: big fight with Ironwood, revelation, get everyone  evacuated while Salem attacks, leave her behind, then Volume 8 begins in Vacuo with the group knowing Salem is out there looking for them. This entire volume has been pointless. What did they accomplish?

Oscar got kidnapped and beat up, Nora was scarred, Ruby and Yang realized horrible things about Summer, and the whole world is panicking about a witch. Good things are... Ren and Ruby unlocked some semblance stuff? Weiss loves her brother again after he proved himself useful to her? Great work, team.

So this one moment makes everything they've done up to this point useless and, of course, once thought up the plan goes off without a hitch. Note that the summary of this episode says, "It's risky, dangerous, and nearly impossible — but it's the only plan they've got." Nearly impossible? That's a whole lot of talk for a plan that was implemented perfectly.

There is, admittedly, one snag, but one that is likewise made meaningless just seconds later. We'll get to that.

We see Winter call Weiss who also smiles at hearing from her sister. Obviously interactions like the group's with Emerald are the bigger concern, but it's still an issue that no one reacts as they should to people reappearing in their lives. Rather, RWBY continually confuses audience knowledge with character knowledge. We know Winter is on their side now, but Weiss hasn't a clue. Last she saw, she and Winter were agreeing to head down different paths. She has no reason to think her sister isn't loyal to Ironwood, so why isn't the group treating this call with suspicion? What if it's Ironwood trying to mess with them through a presumably safe party? I swear to god, with any consistency in the story this group would be dead ten times over because their decisions are so stupid. Oscar decides to believe in the guy currently beating him to a pulp, the group decides to trust a villain over a flawed ally, and now they see Ironwood’s second calling and are like, “Great, big sister Winter is checking in!” There’s a difference between a hopeful story filled with second chances and characters whose reliance on the narrative bending to assist them makes them come across as insanely naive. 

None of which even touches on characters forgetting that other characters are presumably dead. Ironwood shot Oscar off the edge of Atlas, but doesn't react to learning he was kidnapped, or when he shows up to the fight. Thanks to Marrow's comment, Winter thinks YJOR have perished in the whale, but also has no reaction to them appearing to help with this plan. Absolutely nothing is followed up on.

We then get a flashback within the flashback (fun) of Winter — shock — not arresting Marrow. It's precisely as I assumed, with Marrow angrily asking why she hit him and Winter responding with, “Because you were about to get killed if I didn’t do something!” As I said last recap, I feel like I should let the marginalized groups lead this discussion, but I do want to add that no matter how well intentioned — or strategic, as I mentioned last time — the imagery itself is still harmful. No matter the context, we were still left with white woman Winter putting her knee on black man Marrow's back to arrest him, and it’s an image that everyone in the U.S. should be familiar with the horror of. Far more of a problem than the (presumed) ignorance of this scene is, I think, the choice to make Winter entirely unrepentant. I think some of this discomfort could have been alleviated if RT had written Winter as apologetic, contrite that it came to that and asking Marrow to understand that she only did it as a means of assisting him. Asking his forgiveness. Instead, we get this

So what, the only emotion we have room for is gratitude that Winter beat him up? Yikes.

As a lighter side note, I find the animation here unintentionally hilarious. Winter's assistive device makes her shoulders look too high, making this gesture more, "Woman exaggeratedly pouts about not getting ice cream for dinner" and less, "Woman sternly closes off during a disagreement about saving lives and betraying their general." Gotta find our humor where we can, right?

What's intentional, but far less funny, is the needless animation to show us that, yes, Marrow is peering at Winter calling Weiss. Oh, the shenanigans. 

The elevator opens where Qrow and Robyn spot them. "Speaking of help," Winter says, as if she has any reason to believe Qrow didn't kill Clover. He and Robyn lower their weapons a bit, as if they have any reason to believe Winter and Marrow aren't still loyal to Ironwood. Would it really be so hard to have Winter immediately throw up her hands in the face of their almost-attack, blurting that she's not their enemy and needs their help, please listen? Again, RWBY can't remember which characters know what, let alone what their motivations and reactions should be.

We then enter the third part of the flashback where everyone piles into the Schnee dining room and discusses doing the things they could have done from the start. I'm metaphorically banging my head against that table. In RWBY's favor though, we also get a long shot of Jaune continuing to boost Penny’s aura.

Though it's only one of many issues, just the other day I asked, "Hey, why has Jaune always needed to hold onto the person he's assisting, but now suddenly he can touch Penny once and the boost remains?" It still doesn't explain why he was letting go before/why him needing to boost her continuously didn't put a hard time limit on their plan — not that Mantle's hour limit meant a thing — but at least they're showing more of that here.

Oscar notes that Atlas has enough gravity dust that it won't fall immediately when they use the Relic, but they will have to move fast to ensure no one is underneath. Yeah, like all the civilians you put there. He also cautions that the Staff isn't a "magic wand" that they can just wave to make all their problems go away... even though that's precisely what they're going to do. Ozpin gets some lines that aren't apologies or followed by attacks — hallelujah! — about how the Staff's spirit is a "character" and requires that you be able to precisely explain anything you want him to make. Blueprints, examples, a firm knowledge of how this will be accomplished — all of it is required to actually get what you're after. That's a cool limitation. It's just too bad we didn't know about it episodes ago, forcing our heroes to find ways to meet those requirements. Instead, they already have everything ready to go the moment they learn about it: Penny has her own schematics and Whitley apparently has knowledge of the entire kingdom after sending some ships out. Normally I'd go, "Really?" but I'm still just struck by how much good he's done compared to everyone else in this room. Your show is seriously broken when the side character the writers didn't even want the audience to like until a few episodes ago is more active, mature, and sensible than the heroes.

From there we see the group implementing the plan. They fly up through the hole Oscar left, straight to the vault. Penny opens it without any trouble and Ruby uses her speed to grab the Relic and stop time, halting her self-termination. I do like that combination of skill and their knowledge of how this magic works. That felt like a smart move. What's interesting though is that the Relic appears to stop time in the entire kingdom. We see people in Mantle and Atlas slowing to a halt too. I assume no one remembers that happening after time restarts, otherwise people would be freaked out by suddenly being frozen in place.

Wouldn't that have been cool though? The group often takes a while to use the Relics, either deciding what they need, or watching Jinn's information, so what if you had a population that blinks and suddenly, from their perspective, half an hour has passed? How long might Ozpin have sat on his knees after Jinn told him he wasn't able to defeat Salem? How long was that space frozen? We could have had a world built around rumors and fairy tales. Not the random stories Ozpin brings up to make a point and that we never hear about again, but tiny details that foreshadow these revelations. A Beacon where the kids tell each other spooky stories of people suddenly losing time, once a whole day. The wives, sisters, daughters, and nieces who disappear, or wake up one day with horrifying, unnatural powers. We see magic influence the world around it, but we've seen very little of the world reacting to that influence. The one time I can think of is Blake reading a book about "a man with two souls," the fiction clearly inspired by knowledge of Ozpin. And indeed, it felt great to recognize that as a significant detail and then be proven right years later as the lore was revealed. We could have gotten so much more of that if RWBY was better planned out.

I'm getting off track though. As time stops we see a series of images: Ironwood being led to a cell with Jacques, Penny succumbing to her hack, Team JNPR The Second preparing to contact the kingdom about what's going on. Then everyone is distracted by the giant, blue, buff Ambrosius who comes out of the Staff.

...there's a lot of innuendo in that last statement lol. At least RWBY is committed to the crazy design they chose? I was never particularly comfortable with the image of characters gaping up at a giant, naked woman in chains, so it's nice to balance that a bit with an equally giant, naked dude in chains.

From here things get confusing. In all honesty, I'm not sure if this is another moment where RWBY is trying to pass off a retcon as the group being brilliant, or if I, as an individual, simply didn't follow the logic. I won't bother to rehash the slow, meandering way that Ruby reveals their plan — that certainly didn't help with the clarity. Not in an episode where we didn’t even know these rules ahead of time — but it boils down to this:

The moment they have Ambrosius create something new Atlas will start to fall. Two of his creations can't exist at the same time.

He needs clear instructions about what he's making in order to create it.

The group has brought him Penny's schematics so that he understands how she's built.

They want, specifically, "a new version of her... using her exact robot parts."  

They can't just create an exact duplicate of Penny because that would carry the virus with it.

They can't create an exact duplicate without the virus because that Penny would cease to exist as soon as they used Ambrosius to make an evacuation plan instead.

So they essentially want Ambrosius to create a new Penny by removing all the robot parts from the Penny that currently exists, carrying the virus with them, and leaving only the human parts of Penny behind: her aura/soul. Then, the purely robot version is destroyed when Ambrosius creates something new.

Except... this new Penny, this human Penny, still needed a human body. That's what Ambrosius created and that's the snag I don't understand. They want a version of Penny that's just her aura, just her soul, but that soul still needs something to be housed in. Ambrosius himself notes that. At first I thought the group would just have some wisp-like version of Penny they'd have to find a new body for — perhaps leading to a new one for Ozpin too — but she's just... given a human body when he takes the technology away, something she absolutely didn't have before. That is Ambrosius' creation. That is what should have disappeared along with the removed parts of Penny, leaving only her soul — what Ambrosius didn't touch — behind. Instead, the plot oh so conveniently has Penny get a new body for free and it's untouched as they move onto the next task.

Ruby drops a casual line about Ambrosius not being able to kill, or destroy, or something, which I think is meant to be the justification here. The rule (which, again, we JUST learned) about not killing anyone supersedes the rule of two creations not allowed to exist, allowing Penny to stick around. But even if that’s true, it’s a load of bull. What, does the magic think no one in an entire city might die if the floating mechanism is removed and it plummets to the ground? Ambrosius didn’t say, “Sorry, can’t stop floating Atlas because thousands of people are still here and they’ll die if I create something new,” but we’re supposed to believe the group skated by on, “Sorry, can’t destroy the last creation like everything else because there’s a single person still using that body and she’ll die if I create something new”? 

Seriously, did I miss something? Or is this another, "Amity is ready because the group needs it" situation? The rule of creations ceasing to exist is bent because the group needs to have their friend around. Ambrosius is certainly enthusiastically complimentary, saying how "smart" the group is and that they've "done their homework," but I'm not so sure. It feels like a moment where the show is (once again) insistent that the group is far more talented and brilliant than their actions actually imply. It's only the rules of the world twisting and turning that allows for their success. To say nothing of how the episode dropped all these rules on the viewer in a ten minute info dump, ensuring we didn’t have any time to think about them before the deed was done. 

It doesn't add up for me and honestly, even putting that aside? I hate this. I absolutely despise it. Look, if it turns out this really does make sense then props to the group for coming up with that plan. Our snag aside, the rest is a legitimately well thought out wish. I don't have a problem with the execution so much as the message. I've been saying since Volume 7 that RWBY has done Penny a disservice in terms of her "real girl" narrative. Whereas before we had a firm message that you don't need "squishy guts" to be human, to be real, Volume 8 continued to carry us further and further into the idea that it is necessary. That Penny's body is entirely inhuman, something to hate, but at least her soul is human and good. That's what the virus arc taught us: your terrible, technological body might be betraying you, but hold onto the parts of you that are really human. I hated that too, but I never thought RWBY would go this far. They made Penny fully human and went, “THIS is the version that always should have existed.”

And this isn't just me reading into the implications. It's right there in the text. Blake says that they're looking for “Penny, the girl who’s always been there underneath." Meaning, underneath the metal. The girl exists trapped in the robot body. Yang holds up her arm and says that the metal is only "extra," it's not really who you are. 

That gets into two perspectives on disability that RWBY just doesn't have the nuance for: what's an integral and celebratory part of one person's existence can be seen as something separate and discomforting to another. Though there are many people with disabilities who would happily cure themselves with a magic Staff if given the chance, there are just as many who say no, this is a part of my identity. I don't want to change, I just want the world to accommodate my existence. However, RWBY takes a hard stance here, saying that any metal in your body is intrinsically bad. We didn’t use to have this take, but now the show has embraced it. Blake says the real Penny is trapped in there. Yang's words implies that she'd get rid of this "extra" bit of her if possible. Mercury with his metal legs is the enemy. Ironwood with half his metal body is the enemy. Whereas once difference was truly accepted, now it's shunned and fixed whenever possible. Those who can't be fixed, like Yang, must simply deal with the lot they've been dealt, reassuring themselves that the metal isn't really them. But Penny? Penny they can fix.

So they do and the very first thing Penny does is hug Ruby, exclaiming, “Do hugs always make you feel this warm inside? Wow. More!” and proceeds to hug all the others. 

What's the underlying message there? Penny didn't understand hugs before this moment. She never experienced the "warmth" of them while an android, despite the fact that here warmth is entirely metaphorical and has nothing to do with a literally cold body. RWBY really went and said that the "real girl” android was never actually real at all — not as real as she could be — because it's only when she's given "squishy guts" that she understands the true happiness of a hug.

Wow.

I mean seriously, wow. 

Never-mind that, you know, we've seen that happiness and warmth since she was first introduced.

RWBY is really rewriting all the core themes introduced in Volumes 1-3 and it sucks. The show is absolutely the worse for it.

To say nothing of all the other disservices to Penny's character here. There's all this buildup about whether she'll still be the same Penny once the wish is complete, but of course she is. We wouldn't want to have Penny struggle when she becomes something other than what she's always been, would we? After all, it took Yang an entire volume to work through the shock of a metal arm, but taking away a metal body for a human one is in no way traumatic. Having a normal, human body is intrinsically a good thing! Of course Penny accepts it with nothing but smiles. Becoming human is celebratory, but becoming more machine is a horror.

She gets to watch her body self-destruct, glitching out and collapsing in front of her. But again, nothing to unpack there that can't be covered with a hand over her mouth.

There's no discussion of whether Penny still has the Maiden powers, or whether a wish like that would mess with the transfer in any way. How did the group know this action wouldn't register as a clear-cut death, forcing the power out of her and into someone new? Obviously they couldn’t know, but no one even thought to bring it up? 

And the entire time they're formulating their evacuation plan, there's no talk of whether these portals will appear before everyone currently alive in the kingdom. I mean, if they do then Ironwood and Jacques can just waltz through and escape into Vacuo. If they don’t, then Maria and Pietro don't necessarily have a way out. We still don't know if they're stuck floating in Amity, or if Amity crashed, or if they made their way back to Mantle or Atlas. More importantly, the characters don't know. I have no problem with RWBY keeping that a surprise until the finale, but I absolutely take issue with Pietro's daughter walking through a portal, seemingly not to care whether her father is going to make it out too.

It's been the same with Qrow and his nieces' relationships. The show is good at insisting that these families love each other because they hug and smile while on screen together, but when shit is actually going down, none of them care about pesky things like disappearances, arrests, or “The last time I saw you, you were with an old woman on a damaged station after a villain attack, potentially stranded in deadly cold if life support failed.” 

So yeah, this entire arc with Penny has been a disaster. From throwing away her framing subplot, to giving her a virus that did absolutely nothing, to giving her the Maiden powers which she's also done nothing with, to erasing her android status for a “She's really human now” message, Penny has been done dirty by the show these last two volumes. Not nearly to the extent Ironwood has, but still. At this point I wish they'd just kept her dead dead. Why do I want her back when that resurrection produces no reaction, her conflicts lead nowhere, and one of the core things that made Penny Penny has now been magically erased?

I've been saying for weeks that killing Penny off and keeping Penny around each had serious downsides attached, yet I never expected RWBY to do BOTH.

Also, I'm warding off any, "But Pinocchio was made into a real boy too" defenses. RWBY is not Pinocchio. Penny is not Pinocchio. I thought the allusion was going to be the Pinocchio inspired girl heading into the whale, not the show forcing the exact plotline  —  down to a blue, magical creature — onto a character whose entire journey has been about accepting herself as an android. Congratulations, RT. You just obliterated years of work.

Again, if you'd like an example of how to do this far better:

As Penny's character falls apart, Atlas shakes, alerting Jaune and the other that a new wish has been granted. Jaune pecks at the screen and realizes "That did, uh, something…?” but doesn’t realize that there's a giant, red "LIVE" up in the corner.

Jaune tries to warn the entire kingdom about their plan, but what he actually says is

“Atlas is falling, but — !”

And then the communications cut out. 

Watts, perhaps?

Our heroes are really good at saying things that make large populaces panic, huh? This is the one (1) snag in their "impossible" plan, but as said above, it doesn't amount to anything. We get a shot of Nora, horrified at the thought of kingdom-wide communications being down, but literally seconds later Team RWBY has made portals appear that everyone can walk through. So... why do we care about communications? More importantly, why does the show try to make us care? So much time is spent getting the viewer invested in problems that never come to mean anything. 

Including the problem of Salem herself.

Because the group successfully creates that evacuation plan. This is it. Everyone is leaving while Salem still reforms. 

Yang asks if they can use the vaults themselves as a single point for everyone to go to and Ambrosius agrees. So everyone is going to pile into the Vacuo vault that can only be opened by an unknown Maiden? They're going to put an entire kingdom's worth of people, including their enemies, into the vault where the Relic of Destruction is? Yeah, that's great. Prior to this — like if this had been the plan at the end of Volume 7 — I would have 100% agreed that these risks are better than death by Salem/grimm/cold. Now though, Oscar as axed Salem for an unknown length of time, the cold is having no impact on the civilians outside, and the grimm only attack background military personnel that supposedly no one cares about. They couldn't have spent another few minutes (especially with time stopped!) to figure out a means of getting to Vacuo that doesn't involve revealing and providing access to the location of a super secret vault? To say nothing of what they're going to do if Salem wakes up and snags one of those portals for herself. Two kingdoms for the price of one!

But that's what they're going with. Weiss gives Ambrosius a schematic of the kingdom, I guess, and he makes branching pathways appear with numerous portals for everyone to step through. They'll enter through one and, when they exit another, will be in Vacuo. Easy peasy, right? Especially since Ambrosius doesn't seem to have any limitations about how often his power is used. Is it three creations every 100 years like Jinn? We're not told, at least not to my recollection. However, I was expecting there to be a waiting period, that they'd fix Penny, go to evacuate the kingdom, and learn that sorry, I can't make another creation just yet. It feels like the sort of shit move these beings would pull — "Don't cry to me when it's not what you wanted" —  it would have been another commentary on the group's insistence on putting friends over the people's safety (like demanding the Ace Ops not bomb the whale because of Oscar), and crucially, would have kept the action in Atlas. Isn't that what this volume is? The battle for and potential destruction of the Kingdom of Atlas? We have two episodes left and, unless something unexpected happens, we're moving that action to Vacuo. Why? 

Meanwhile, Penny's corpse is just chilling in the background 😬

While all this is going on, Winter reassures Jacques that he and Ironwood will be evacuated too, though she makes it clear saving him was Weiss' idea. It checks out, considering Weiss is the one who turned her father's arrest into a joke last volume. Winter still takes his abuse seriously.

The group prepares to leave with a celebratory, "We did it!" from Weiss. I'm still banging my head against that dining room table. Before they can pass through the portal though, Ambrosius leaves them with one, dire warning: "Do not fall." 

In any other story a line like that is a neon sign announcing to the audience that someone will absolutely fall, and maybe they will, but RWBY has dodged consequences so often I wouldn't be surprised if this was merely another way to string us along. Remember all the hype surrounding Salem? The cold combined with her army and magic? How she was going to decimate Atlas and leave our group broken in a Fall 2.0?

I mean, we still have two episodes left. Forty minutes of content. Salem might still decimate them, especially since something has to happen in the finale. But god, it's a problem that we've come this far without a payoff. Salem randomly decided not to attack anyone, was stopped by a weapon added in solely for this purpose, and now the whole kingdom is being evacuated with a plan the group could have used at the start. This volume really is meaningless. 

“We go to vacuo and hope we’ve thought of everything” they say as the camera zooms in on Cinder's smiling face. For the second week in a row.

Bingo time!

Winter betrayed Ironwood, the group used the Staff of Creation, and I'm axing Maria on behalf of Pietro. You can't have the guy's daughter become human — after he was killing himself to give her his aura?? — and magically walk to Vacuo, not knowing if he's even survived since she last saw him, and expect me to think he hasn't been forgotten. Same with Maria. Has the group mentioned her since Amity cut out, notably for reasons they couldn’t explain? Of course not. Did they care to find out what happened? Of course not. I have no doubt they'll both re-appear in the next two episodes, Pietro crying over how perfect his girl is now and Maria congratulating the group on their actions, but we're still marking it.

This is the ugliest thing I’ve ever created, I hope you all are enjoying it :D

Another week, another couple feet added to the hole we’re digging. I know I keep saying I have no idea what's going to happen next... but I have no idea what's going to happen next. A Vacuo ending was not in the cards, not outside of them miraculously showing up in ships. Maybe they have been on their way to Atlas (somehow...) and will arrive precisely when everyone has left! Anything is possible at this point.

See you next Saturday, everyone. Hold on until then lol. 💜

[fireflyhwufanficwriter]

My thoughts on Dr. Stone’s Chapter 217 (“Science Underdogs”)

My thoughts after reading Chapter 217:

01. Kohaku, normally, your great eyesight and willingness to take quick action are good things, but... couldn’t you have been just a little bit slower in finding Whyman? :( Although... I guess if you’ve spent many, many chapters establishing a character as capable, you can’t exactly backtrack... :O

02. Poor Suika... she’s really sad that they couldn’t build their two-way rocket before the others found Whyman... :(

03. When I first read this chapter earlier, I thought Chrome’s flash of inspiration was about Ryusui’s recruitment! XD

04. Mega Science Conference! :O This made me laugh really hard; I think because of the sheer awesomeness! :D Chrome and Suika, the rookie scientist team, versus Senku and Dr. Xeno, the super scientist team! I never thought that Chrome would just outright verbally protest the plan (even his tongue is determined! XD), but... it’s a totally viable option! :D Of COURSE they can all talk about it! :)

05. Before the reveal, I thought the plan was going to be to make tiny “islands” in space so the rocket could take several short trips from one space base to the next instead of one long trip from the Earth to the moon. But now that I think about it... I’m not sure how that would have helped... XD Maybe it could have lessened the risk of somebody dying on a long trip, or something...? Or those small bases could have let them launch faster counterattacks against Whyman...? :O Hmm, why DID I think that space islands would be the plan...? XD

06. They made that large sort-of schematic in just one night?! :O Studying together all these years; pulling of the Mega Science Conference; turning Chrome’s piecemeal ship plan into a plan that people could visualize... Chrome and Suika have such great teamwork! :D And showing a large spaceship like that means Ryusui will desire it, so now it HAS to get built! XD

07. Chrome acknowledging his and Suika’s lack of expertise when it comes to science compared to Senku and Dr. Xeno... bowing his head, and him and Suika showing their determination... this had to be both humbling and hearbreaking for Chrome and Suika (especially Chrome), but they’re fighting for Senku’s life, here, if he’s the scientist who’s going to go to space... :O

08. I liked Ryusui’s statement about Sai’s integrity when it comes to coding :)

09. The rookie scientist team challenged the super scientist team to a democratic vote, and it ended in a complete vote for a two-way rocket! :D Sai and Ukyo confirmed that even Senku and Dr. Xeno voted for the two-way rocket; hooray! :) And now... the next goal is... the internet? Whoa! :O

10. Chrome and Suika’s victory poses; Chrome facing the shed of science, and Suika crying... :’) They worked so hard and they’ve been worried for years about their friends dying, or at least being petrified, on the surface of the moon... and all of their hard work and strong emotion have resulted in complete victory, and the entire kingdom of science will now be working on a ship that can take everybody back home... :’) Congratulations, Chrome and Suika!! :) You did it!! :D Everybody will make it back home, safe and sound, for the victory toast!! :’) And now, it’s time to go to the next chapter and see how everybody will create... the INTERNET... in the stone world... :O

https   ://   firefly-hwufanficwriterrrrr   .   tumblr   .   com   /   MyDrStoneEpisodeMangaThoughts

[barry-j-blupjeans]

31 from the touch list? Please?

31 (touches). doing a pinky swear

((prompt list here - still accepting!!))

u didn't request any ships/characters specifically so here's Magnus n Lucretia (platonic)

--

It was five days back into a new cycle and Lucretia still wasn't talking to him, which Magnus was trying to accept. Last year hadn't been great for any of them, he was sure, but it was specifically terrible for Magnus, Barry, and Lucretia. There hadn't been any humans on that plane but there had been a council. The world was full of strange and mysterious oddities that the council set out to study. Being freshly new and odd, the council had taken it upon themselves to-

Study was putting it lightly.

Barry had been taken first, under the prose that the council just wanted to speak to him, privately. The "private meeting" went on for much longer than they had agreed upon and when they had gone to look for Barry, he hadn't been there.

Davenport had made Lucretia and Magnus promise not to leave the ship. They did so, Magnus less willing than Lucretia, and well-

Magnus was usually good at following orders. But there were lives at stake. Humans weren't the only ones being hurt by the council and the breaking point for him had been seeing a dog-like creature dragged into the research center, as Davenport made him stand back and out of the way.

He tried sneaking out in the middle of the night, but Lucretia had caught up with him. They argued for a bit about Davenport's rule and then set out together, to go find Barry. Lucretia had made Magnus promise- promise, wholeheartedly- that he wouldn't do anything rash. Magnus agreed, knowing how he was, and without the intent to actually follow through.

He had sort of... broken that promise upon seeing what was going on inside the research center. Even now, thinking about it made him sick. He felt guilty, after re-gen, for breaking his word, but even more guilty upon the realization that his actions had lead Lucretia to death for the first time ever.

That's probably why she wasn't talking, thinking logically about it. Taako and Lup had told him the story of what happened after (once they were done mobbing Barry, that is). It had been a grizzly sight and they had even convinced Davenport to let them burn down the facility once they rescued everyone inside. The sadness of missing a revolution was outmatched by the stinging regret he felt every time he saw Lucretia.

"Just- talk to her," Lup groaned, head in her hands, after Magnus had come to her for the fifth time to talk about it. She swept the papers she had been working on aside and turned to face him.

"Look, Mags, both of you are, putting it nicely, stubborn little shits- don't give me that look, you know you are. The rest of us are, too, that's why we're not perma-dead yet. But babe, you can't just let it lie. It's just gonna end with you two crying at each other and then getting over it. C'mon dude."

"But," Magnus started. Lup rolled her eyes.

"Lucy's like a sister to you, yeah?" Lup asked and Magnus nodded, frowning. "Okay, then take it from me, someone who has a terrible, horrible brother, whom I love very dearly. This fight, or whatever, isn't helping anyone. Communication is key when it comes to any relationship, even platonic ones. Stop being so scared that she's mad at you and start being scared that you might lose your friendship if you don't do anything."

"Right," Magnus said, a little more determined. "Okay, yeah. Thank you."

"Uh-huh," Lup said, turning back to his papers. "If you see Barry on your way tell him that, uh- the experiment we started earlier is going well."

"Is that code for something?" Magnus asked, watching the way Lup's face split into a sly grin.

"Not that I'll tell," she said, winking.

--

It took until that night for Magnus to properly work up the courage to talk to Lucretia, which made him feel stupid. He could run into a swarm of the Hunger feeling nothing but excitement, but the idea of talking with Lucretia about what had happened last cycle made him feel almost sick to his stomach.

In the end, he knocked on Lucretia's door half an hour before dinner. There was a shuffle from inside and then the door opened a bit and Lucretia peaked out. She didn't look surprised to see him there. If anything, she looked just about as nervous as Magnus felt.

"Alright," Lucretia said. "Come in."

She opened the door wider and beckoned Magnus inside. He had been in here before, of course. There was a slowly filling bookshelf of her journals, and journals she had yet to use. Her sheets were a dark, royal blue, from a fabric shop from a few cycles back. There was an easel in the corner and a bucket full of different types of paints and art... things... Magnus wasn't very well versed in any of it.

She pulled the chair out from her desk and let him sit, sitting on top of the desk herself. They stared.

"Taako said-" she started, at the same time he said,

"Lup-"

She grinned at him sheepishly. It made Magnus feel a lot better to know she had gotten advice, too. She gestured at him, letting him go first.

"I went to Lup," he began, "because I didn't know exactly how to- to fix this, but she just said to talk to you, and let it come out, so, uh. I'm sorry, I guess. No, I mean- I am sorry, I just- I'm not good at thinking through things and you got hurt because of it. You died because I rushed into something and I should have thought about that. I should have kept you in mind, but when I saw all those creatures getting hurt, and thought about what must have happened to Barry, I- couldn't help myself. I'm sorry you died because of it. Because- of because of me."

Lucretia was silent for a few moments, hands resting in her lap. He had been avoiding her eye during his speech, but when he was done, he looked up at her.

"I'm not angry because I died," she said. "I'm angry because you broke your promise."

"I- what?"

"I don't care that I died!" Lucretia said loudly, slamming her hand on the desk. "It fucking- yes, yeah, it hurt, but it hurt that you promised me you wouldn't rush in, and then you did! If you're going to be rash, you need to tell me outright- that's what got us killed, Magnus! That you didn't trust me enough to tell me what you were thinking!"

"I trust you!" Magnus said, but Lucretia shook her head. She was looking a little teary.

"Did you promise with the intention of actually keeping your word?" she asked, and when Magnus couldn't respond (because, no, he hadn't been planning to be "rash" about it), she turned away from him and said, "that's what I thought."

"They were hurting the animals and people they had there," Magnus said, finally, voice wet and hurt. "I couldn't just... let them do that. I couldn't, Lucretia."

"I know," she said, taking a deep breath. "I know. I just- just as appalled you was, trust me. We could have gotten out alive, though, I think. If you had taken the time to think about what to do with me. Like Lup and Taako did, when they broke everyone out after we died."

Something uncomfortable was rooted in Magnus's chest and it was that she was right- she was a hundred percent right. He had the tendency to act instead of think and had been like that before the Starblaster mission. It was fitting for a twenty-two-year-old, fresh into the real world, but- fuck. He wasn't twenty-two, anymore, not really.

He saw the pain in Lucretia's eyes and realized she wasn't twenty anymore, either. Not like they were when they started.

"You're right," Magnus said, nodding. "I broke my promise, willingly, and it was stupid of me. I can't promise things like that right off the back because I'm realizing I still have a lot of growing left to do. It's- weird, I think. Being so young with so much knowledge. I don't feel like I'm living up to the age I actually am."

Lucretia nodded, slowly, and looked into his eyes. He could see the tears in them.

"I shouldn't have made you promise something so drastic for you," Lucretia said.

"Maybe not," Magnus shrugged. "But there is something I can say- I can promise, I mean. Look, pinky swear, so you know I'm not lying."

He held out his pinky. Lucretia took it apprehensively in her own, a small smile sneaking back onto her face.

"I promise I'm gonna try to grow up," he swore and Lucretia snorted. "Seriously- maybe not like, uh, like I'm still gonna be childish as fuck, don't doubt that, but- I'm gonna try to think things through more. Think of the consequences to my actions."

He shook their pinky's, a bit violently. Lucretia took her hand back, looking at him appraisingly.

"I'll hold you to that," she said.

"Please do," Magnus said.