#he is hench af

[vettelcore]

i found put yesterday i can lift more than 60kg and my ego has never been bigger

[raviniaraven]

Looking up reference images of a character I only know from their initial appearance: Why do they look like That

[currymanganese]

GUYS, I CAN'T ACTUALLY BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS, BUT WHAT IF THEY ACTUALLY HAD A GOOD REASON FOR JOHN CENA BEING CAST AS SAMMY FAK?

please bear with me (pun intended) and let me know what you think of my speculation under the cut~

In a mind-boggling case of a seemingly big-lipped alligator moment in season 3 - John Cena appears in a bizarrely over the top (even by the tonal comedic standards set previously by The Bear e.g. Ecto Cooler punch at a kid's birthday party getting spiked with Xanax in Season One) and jarring scene that stretches on and on as he obnoxiously squabbles, blathers and exchanges nonsensical rapid-fire quips with his brothers Neil and Ted Fak as they buff polish The Bear's dining area before a food photographer from The Chicago Tribune arrives to take a photo for a review of The Bear.

In this scene, he also intimidates and threatens to 'haunt' (in a Fak family tradition ( that even the Faks find annoying) - that involves pranking and being an unrestrained nuisance to their loved ones especially when they least expect it) his brother Ted for, "stealing his SD cards"......

This scene and the increased screen presence of the seemingly plot-irrelevant Faks this season is currently being eviscerated by plenty of fans and critics alike.

Edit:

I now strongly suspect that John Cena's role was always in the works ever since S1

..................................

But what if there's a (debatable, but) really good reason for this scene and the increased involvement in Seasons 2 and 3 of the massive numbered siblings family of Carmy's pseudo cousins, the Faks?

See Exhibit A:

In season 2, episode 3, Sundae - after Carmy has already asked Sydney out to Kasama, a husband and wife owned restaurant run by Tim Flores, and Genie Kwon*, ostensibly just to brainstorm and gain inspiration for planning for the new menu, and after Sydney has already gone home and freshened up and changed her clothes, then arrived to Kasama early, despite the meeting only being scheduled for an hour after she last spoke to Carmy at his apartment, Claire calls and interrupts the whole hypothetical shebang with Syd and Carmy at Kasama (the Tagalog WORD FOR TOGETHER) with the words,

"Did you mean to give me a fake number? You do know that I know your entire family [translation: she must know Donna too and Claire assumes that Carmy's folks approve of her - and she's proven to be technically right throughout Seasons 2 and 3 ], right? And I know ALL the Faks! [translation: tee hee! they're bigger than you - to quote Neil and Ted with their Uncle, "We Faks do have a particular shape, don't we?😇" - and they outnumber you, you scrawny punk, slay!😉✨]"

Claire then proceeds to playfully threaten to have said "massive numbered siblings" Faks, which includes Sammy Fak, played by John Cena (a professional wrestler, from an industry that is mixes both bawdy over the top theatre, a performance art that values Kayfabe (legerdemain/slight of hand anyone?) and comedy, and an athletic discipline) that is TALL. BUILT. HENCH. AND BUFF AF.....Claire 'playfully' threatens to have THESE FAKS, beat up Carmy, who is short in stature and cannot fight well from all the previous physical confrontations we've seen him be involved in, despite supposedly being a former high-school wrestler, and who has already been seriously physically abused thrice in the series run thus far (not counting him play fighting or trying to fight with Richie) after being JUMPED by a GROUP of assailants, not once, but TWICE in season one, by the Ballbreaker nerds in the pilot, and the Bachelor Party attendees in the season finale (the first season started and ended with Carmy being beaten tf up, Holy Shit! 🤯); AND AFTER BEING SLAPPED IN THE FACE IN SEASON 2 BY HIS OWN MOTHER, DONNA.

Notice the way Carmy goes from being lost in his thoughts but being completely relaxed after his menu planning session with Sydney, and in anticipation of seeing her on their would be inspiration seeking meet-up (definitely not a date, no Sir! 👀) at Kasama, to being tense and jittery and apprehensive when Claire calls him (after going behind his back and getting his number from Fak).

Notice the way Carmy's voice shakes when he asks Claire if she really knows all of the Faks.....

Notice Carmy's defeated and annoyed reaction after he hangs up the phone.

No wonder Carmy is being so avoidant and conflict averse in his handling of Claire in both Season Two and Three, he has absolutely no faith in himself or his loved ones at present to defend himself should he assert the type of boundaries he may have been desiring to have with them for these past two seasons, after all - who can he count on to fully have his back even to the point of physically intervening for him if he gets into a scrape or is genuinely attacked, by the Faks on account of Claire taking offense at or misrepresenting his words and actions to them, e.g. Claire apparently twisting Carmy's self loathing stream of consciousness confession (that she eavesdropped on) and telling Tiff that they broke up because Carmy said that "Claire will ruin everything good for him?" while he was trapped in the fridge?

What if Carmy knows he has to rip the band-aid and call Claire and apologize for his part in the superficiality and disintegration of their dalliance, but is afraid to do so because he knows in so doing, if he is being fully honest with himself and with Claire, he never truly wanted to be with her in the first place?

And who knows how Claire will take that revelation - it probably won't be pretty will it?

And.....

to quote Neil Fak,

"Claire's the best."

"We love Claire."

"I did that." [setting Carmy and Claire up in Pop)

And.....

Claire. knows. all. the. Faks.....

TL;DR

They cast John Cena as Sammy Fak, and the Faks had a lot of screen-time this season because they are the physical manifestation of being haunted in their family's sense of the word:

and a satirical visualization of Carmy's desire for Syd being cock-blocked ; plus Claire is a Love-able Alpha Bitch, and Carmy is ambivalent towards her, and even a little scared to face her, because her henchmen are the Faks!

If you enjoyed this post, then thank you for reading and I'd recommend that you check out the following meta on the way Christopher Storer and Company have seemingly (and controversially) committed to sticking to the bit of lying to the audience and breaking the fourth wall throughout this entire season:

Richie and the viewer - by @whenmemorydies with my add-on in the reblogs about Richie, not Carmy, potentially being Christopher Storer's author avatar in this series (from a post originally written before season 3 premiered.

Fourth Wall being broken - by @brokenwinebox and @thoughtfulchaos773

Claire being a possible representation of addiction, being a habit that is hard to kick - by @thoughtfulchaos773 and my and @devisrina 's add-on speculating that Claire may also be meant to be interpreted or revealed as a bit of a mean girl, to reference TVTropes, she (and by extension Season 3) may be a deconstruction/ mashup /send-up / subversion of the: Girl Next Door, the Cute Bookworm, Nerds Are Sexy, MPDG, Yandere, Alpha Bitch, Loveable Apha Bitch, Childhood Friend Romance, High-School Sweethearts, Sickeningly Sweethearts, Getting Crap Past The Radar, Freeze Frame Bonus, Parental Bonus, Viewers Are Geniuses, Give Geeks A Chance, Even Nerds Have Standards, Beauty Equals Goodness, Face-Heel Turn, Cerebus Syndrome tropes etc.....and a subtler mirror version of Donna Berzatto.

Edit: See my reblog add on to @espumado 's thread on the recurrent 'haunting' theme this season and the possibility of the Claire x Carmy x Sydney love triangle being a Lilith x Adam x Eve allegory, and my webweaving about Syd x Carmy's Adam and Eve parallels. sidenote: Lilith is Adam's first wife apocryphally and in Jewish mysticism that left him, and became a she-demon / mother of demons after being impregnated by the archangel Samael - wait is 'Sammy' Fak a Samael allegory?!!

and another reblog add-on of mine to the thread linked above - on The Faks as the living embodiment of all that is fake in Carmy's life, C Storer's handy dandy tools for slight of hand,

you can't spell fake without FAK.

and please see

Clairecarmy as Ann Veal x GOB from Arrested Development

and with Richie's frustrated refrain of, "Who cares?!" whenever Claire and Claire and Carmy's breakup is brought up in 3 -

see the running gag of George Michael Bluth's (from Arrested Development) family's disdain for Ann and his relationship with her.

5. The parallels between The Bear and Burnt by @ambeauty - a post Season 2 post which was proven to be prescient and insightful given the Easter Egg inclusion of Bradley Cooper's character from Burnt on the photo wall of chefs at Ever in the Funeral dinner in the finale.

6. The parallels between The Bear and Boiling Point - a gritty film and mini-series set in a restaurant which features several plot elements and characters reminiscent of certain character archetypes and subplots present in The Bear - seriously think of this IP as The Bear's cynical, dramatic, older British cousin.

Decision to leave by @anderwater

This anon that recommended Boiling Point to me and wrote about its connections to The Bear.

The difference between The Bear and Boiling Point by @theblvckvenus

The similarities between The Bear and Boiling Point in this reblog add-on to @happylikeasadsong et. al's thread.

7. Claire/Carmy and the Walk In - my old post on the parallels between Strange Days (1995), Can't Hardly Wait (1998, and The Bear.

and @ambeauty 's meta on Claire as a representation of the fridge

8. My post on the possible connection between The Bear Season 3 and Andrei Tarkovsky's experimental, semi-autobiographical, psychological Oedipal drama film The Mirror (1975) - a film which was incredibly divisive upon its initial release, but has since gained wide acclaim and re-evaluation as a masterpiece, and that has had a legacy of subsequently inspiring multiple renowned filmmakers.

9. The Bear series' lead actress, and the director of Napkins, one of the only episodes of The Bear Season 3 to receive almost universal acclaim - Ayo Edebiri's trollish sense of humour and assertion that lying is the pinnacle of comedy.

10. And last but certainly not least with the inclusion of a Genie Kwon*'s, of Kasama fame, cameo in the season finale and the prominence of Kasama being key to Syd and Carmy's stymied relationship progression, courtesy Claire, see

The Kasama of it all by @gingerylangylang1979

@mod-doodles @lunasink @vacationship @chansoooo1-blog

@bioloyg @msmoiraine @nerdyblerd @ripley-stark @uncriticalbunny @prowitchazel @msmoiraine @mswyrr @anxietycroissant @turbulenthandholding @tvfantic87 @laryssamedeirss @tejidaepoque @angelica4equity @inalltheirgorgeouscolors @houseofevangelista @glitterslag

@uncriticalbunny @imliterallyjustablackgirl

@bioloyg and @ambeauty please don't say I told you so or welcome back, I'm flabbergasted that I wrote this, but I want to believe! 😭

P.S. If you're still reading this, do yourself a favour and read @brokenwinebox 's post

New Paradigm

and this follow up

Mocktail is a dirty word

and check out her #the magic trick tag!

and also check out these Sydcarmy and Rosalind x Orlando from Shakespeare's As You Like It parallels:

The Bear as a pastoral comedy

First Meetings

Fumbling with your crush

Separation, keepsakes and lovesickness

and also C Storer really did tell us in the music that this season would inspire

Mixed Emotions 🥴

[herejusttosufferalong]

in positive news, looks like season 4 Colin is going to be hench af. He is looking FIIIINEEEE.

Also, guys. Just wait till September. I'm not going to be worried by poptart bouncing up and down on the water while he holds her like a fish he's just caught.

catch and release

[ponuchuu]

Do you have any other Genshin OCs or is Niko your only one ?

oh lord what gate have you opened

but yes i do ! i have... so much that i barely use or even touched anymore help. ill show case you all whom they are and a brief of their story qjdnsjdj

First one is Ziyu ! My very first genshin oc and my baby, i actually still really like her a lot. if i were to remake her she'd be a dendro !! If she likes you, she'll steal your stuffs expecting u to go to her place so she can see you again, she dont know how to express affection ok leave her be-

Her story was that shes an orphanage from inazuma who was later transferred to liyue, hench her very inazuman outfit, shes a kleptomaniac thief who loves shiny objects and usually steal to take care of herself and her orphanage siblings until she was adopted by a jeweller that saw potential in her being able to find very rare and special gems and he treats her like his very own daughter but he later died due to old age and left his shop for her as his will, Ziyu managed to make the business booming tho because of her keen eyes for shiny rare materials.

Next is Flancre ! Pronounced "Flan-sir" and hes a nomad who just travels around region and just so happened to run into the traveler constantly.

His story is that he's severely sick and can only live so long, due to that he's mostly home but he barely get to rest as being the son of a well known fontaine designer put him in a spot where he has to work constantly and barely get to sleep. He escaped now tho but since he wanted to see the world before he died he decided to travel.

god seeing old art is gonna take a toll on me

Anyway, Covette !! a famous designer in Fontaine, well known for his rather intricate design that speaks emotion to those who wear them.

His story is... pretty long but in a tldr way is that he and his twin sister got into theater, sister died and he drowned himself in studying law to forget about it until he decided to continue his designing career to honor her.

This design goes hard af and i might use him as a normal oc too.

His name is Ebi, yes like the shrimp and since Inazuma doesnt have train (seriously why) he operates a ship and is a captain. He likes Fontaine's water a lot

His story is pretty simple, his mom used to be a captain but after having him she just... disappear, leaving him with her crew and her crew just decided to raise him themselves. Autism real hes rlly socially awkward.

THERE ARE MORE BUT I DONT THINK I KEEP THE ART SORRY AJDJSJDJ

[sleepingfancies]

I peaked when I scooped a girl up bridal style

[froodlemonkey]

GOOD OMENS 2019

Beelzebub is wearing a Venonat on her head and is therefore the only Bugcatcher-type Pokemon trainer to ever be worth fighting

[captain-grump]

Chris's calves, need I say anymore?

[stil-lindigo]

- beach boys -

[valdomarx]

okay but what happens when jaskier comes to kaer morhen looking Like That™ and obviously all witchers thought of him as this adorable little bard who looks like he‘d take it so well (cause geralt talks when he gets drunk) but then jaskier‘s like. beefy and thick. and then the whole situation with the hair and the beard and the coat… yeah i think this would cause a Situation with a capital s at the keep

what the witchers are expecting: cute lil twink boy, sweet and innocent to the world, voice of an angel, delicate flower

what the witchers get: 180lbs of hench buff bard, sarcastic bastard, salty af with a mean sense of humour, unrepentant slut

lambert: IMMEDIATELY I LOVE HIM

[snake-and-mouse]

Can we please discuss how I need for there to be at least one scene where our little sunshine child Porchay gets to be a bratty little gremlin like in the novel and proves once and for all he IS walking disaster Porsche's brother, AND I also have a mighty need for at least one time where he's being a little shit and one of the countless hench af other characters just scruff him like a naughty ferret

[lulubeanie]

Allow me to introduce, the silly little Frankenstein au I came up with when I was supposed to be sleeping:

It's a one of those dysfunctional family type sitcoms

Victor and Henry live together with the creature as their son

Victor treats the creature considerably better, but it turns out he doesn't like being doted on either

Victor and the creature have a sort of strained relationship (on both ends)

The creature is technically named Adam, but Victor only calls him "darling boy", "son", and stuff like that unless he's upset

The creature is still very strong and also happens to have a fascination with death

He "accidentally" kills people but it's played off as a joke (hench the sitcom part)

Victor keeps having to reanimate people/animals and becomes progressively annoyed and stressed about it

Henry is somewhat afraid of the creature but tries his best not to show it

The creature knows this and likes to scare him sometimes

Also I don't know if I have to say this, but Victor and Elizabeth do not get married or anything even close to that

Henry is gnc af

So is the creature, I have just decided this now

Everyone in the household maybe

Aside from constantly reanimating people, Victor is basically a house husband, Henry is the one with an actual job

I'm not sure if it would be funnier for it to be in a modern setting or the same as in the book

[sweet-william-writes]

Why yes I did take the heartbreaking character arc of Wen Ning going from a somewhat innocent boy to a rage-filled undead second-in-command for a necromancer, and turn it in a modern au to Wen Ning just having a glow up Senior year so when Wei Wuxian sees him again, now hench af and like six inches taller, his first response is to go "oh no he's hot and also not afraid to yell at me anymore"

[diseasedcube]

Putting this here before I forget about it, akudama drive bird headcanons

Swindler: white dove, bc it's generic but also angelic

Hoodlum: uhhh maybe those cockatiels (or those tiny parakeets) bc the hair, and they're small and goofy

Doctor: cuckoo because she is a TRAITOR

Hacker: secretary bird bc the name reminds me of computers. Maybe a peregrine falcon bc he's fast? Or a macaw bc he's extremely smart and very bored

Brawler: definitely a hench af flightless bird, such as an ostrich or cassowary

Courier: a crow bc he's generic af (I also kinda like a great eared nightjar but that's too much design for his boring ass)

Cutthroat: bleeding heart dove, alternatively, a vulture or bald eagle. The first is for the aesthetic tying into his themes, the second is the association with death and predation

[space-kitten-606]

I choose the 1 on the right bc hes HENCH

You know. She only told me she was also going to draw a cat and suddenly she went

"Oh! I should give him a six pack!"

Let me tell you I was confused af lmao

[yuikomorihotline]

Male Yui gives me such Jonathan Joestar vibes

That man is top tier husbando, I would kill just to be with Jonathan Joestar because he's so my type and plus I love my guys fkn hench af.