#he is getting enrichment in the enclosure

[alienzil]

Nanny Danny

“That is a whole ass baby,” was the only thought running through Lex Luthor’s head when the scientist proudly showed him the tube containing Project KR. It was not remotely the sort of thing he would normally think and most definitely not what he had expected to be thinking the first time he saw the clone.

He’d been pleased when he’d read the reports indicating the success of KR after years of failures. Lex had poured millions of dollars and literally his own blood into ensuring a clone of the alien could be made, one that would be under his total control instead of the unknown aspirations of Superman.  He’d wanted to see the fruits of his labors personally but this…

It. No, not an it. He scrunched his tiny face and smacked his lips and…did he smirk? Was that HIS SMIRK on that baby’s face?! No. No. Babies this small didn’t smile or smirk. They passed gas and their sleep deprived and addled parents mistook it for an intelligent response. He’d heard enough inane conversations in the Lexcorp office about the various progeny of his employees to pick up on that but still. This child had Kryptonian DNA, not to mention his own contribution. Surely, he was far more advanced than the dribbling potato shaped lump of an infant whose pictures he’d been forced to smile and nod over when Mark from accounting had rudely shoved them in his face at the last quarterly budget meeting. Yes, that was definitely a smirk. His, that was his smirk.

“So as you can see its growth is well within expected parameters and we’re planning to start phase one of accelerating the maturation process tomorrow once the testing is do-”

“Take him out.”

“Sir? The testing can all be accomplished while it remains in the tube. There’s no need to-”

“I said, take him out. The project is cancelled.”

“What?! Mr. Luthor you can’t!”

“I think you’ll find I can. Now get me my son.”

*****

Two years later

“Call them again”

“Sir, I’ve called them seven times. They won’t answer.”

“Then call another agency!”

“There isn’t another agency, Sir”

Lex glared at his assistant who stared back at him impassively. Mercy stood by the door staring off into the distance and pretending she didn’t notice him being bested by his own secretary.

He stopped himself from shouting again and took a deep breath before asking, “Then what, exactly, do you propose I do Mrs. Anderson? Adjust my entire schedule around naptimes? Find a toddler size lab coat and safety goggles and bring my son with me to tour the new clean energy project on Thursday? Perhaps buy a tiny business suit while I’m at it for the next board meeting?”

“I’m not suggesting anything of the sort, Mr. Luthor. I’m telling you that no childcare agency in Metropolis will return my calls anymore. Most won’t even answer.  You’ve gone through 27 nannies in the last 3 months. You need someone better suited to your son’s…special needs.”

Lex snorted. “Special needs might be a bit of understatement. He can lift a car over his head and his favorite word right now is No.”

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Thank you for…clarifying the situation, Marjorie. If there’s nothing else, you can leave.”

His secretary didn’t move. She looked at him like she was waiting for something and now that he was paying attention, he saw she was holding a file.  “Did you have a suggestion?”

Looking pleased with herself she responded, “Actually, yes, I did.”

“Well?”

She set the file on his desk and flipped it open. He looked down at the first page and raised an eyebrow, “What am I looking at here?”

“This,” she responded pulling out the top set of papers and spreading them out, “is the employee file and background check for Daniel J. Fenton, an intern that started in our engineering department about 4 months ago. He has one sibling, two parents and several close friends he regularly meets with. His current supervisor has nothing but good things to say about him and reports he gets along well with all his coworkers.”

She set out the next set of papers, neatly arranging them on the desk to be easily seen. “These are newspaper articles and screenshots of social media posts regarding a small town vigilante locally known as Phantom. The same small town, Mr. Fenton is from coincidentally. Also coincidentally, Phantom made his first appearance only a few weeks after Mr. Fenton was involved in a minor accident in his parent’s home laboratory when he was 14, the medical records for the incident are included.”

“Hmm,” Lex said observing several photos of Phantom and a younger Fenton arranged in order of similar poses and facial expressions and printed out side by side.

“Finally,” she said handing him the last set of papers directly, “this would be a report from the lab Mr. Fenton works in from an incident that happened yesterday. A test with a new protype went wrong and started a fire. Everyone evacuated per protocol when the alarms went off but one of the other interns was working on a programming issue off to the side of the lab while wearing headphones and didn’t hear the alarm or notice the fire. Mr. Fenton noticed his absence and returned to the lab to get him out.” She stopped talking and let him look at the last several pages in the file, a series of photographs of the lab.

“Is this ice?”

“Yes, it is. It’s several inches thick and covers half of the lab. It completely put out the fire leaving minimal damage.”

“This machine was moved?”

“It was. It was very close to the flames and would have required replacement if exposed to extreme heat or cold. That particular piece of equipment also weighs several thousand pounds and was bolted to the floor.”

Lex read through everything in detail then clasped his hands under his chin and stared at the photo of Daniel Fenton for several moments before turning back to his waiting secretary.

“Have HR send Mr. Fenton up. I’d like to offer him a promotion.”

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Dead beat down

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[mamawasatesttube]

i just think lois lane should put tim drake in her purse like a little dog. a scrunkly little companion who's even better at picking locks than she is, which is saying something. a nosy little freak after her own heart. the rubber duck she uses when talking her thoughts out loud to put clues together. her coffee gofer. her purse ferret.

[lemonlimestar]

july 1st 2024 i want dc to shoot tim drake in the neck again. it’ll be fun prommy.

[antennatoheaven]

i feel like being a guy who loves fighting so much while living in a sugar plum soft world gets really boring (outside of the occassional intergalactic threat) if you feel the need to beat up a gorilla 30 fucking times. like what's the deal man? are you getting enough enrichment in your enclosure? do you wish you were in dark souls? could you maybe leave the local wildlife alone for a bit?

[mischieviouscollector]

The Collector snickered as the bug flew away, "You shoulda been quicker! You gotta be quick if you wanna eat a bug!"

He gasped at the mention of playing a game.

"Yes, yeeees! I've played that game before! I looove games! Games, games. Hmmmmm..." as Azura walked along, the Collector spotted a baby tree; a sapling.

"I spy with my little eye...something beginning with s!" he looked upwards, at the sky. He hoped it would be nighttime soon, so he could see the stars. They hadn't seen the stars in forever!

The human scout's been trying to find Philip's secrets for a while now, watching him disappear into the head of the Titan each time when he claims to be out for an important meeting. With burning curiosity the human eventually gathers enough courage to step into the darkness, only to be greeted with a massive grey door and a few workshop tables more than anything. Azura cries out in frustration.

"All those steps and there's nothing but boring paperwork? Ugh!"

((hope this is okay for me to send!))

//it’s definitely okay!! :D

The Collector lurked in the shadows, watching the scout’s frustration in curiosity.

They were supposed to hide and keep quiet, and most of the time they would, but Philip had been covering up their table a lot lately, so the Collector was even more restless and bored than usual. The boredom itched under his skin like a disease. They couldn’t stand it anymore!

Scouts were pretty disposable, anyway, so it’s not like it would really matter.

Suddenly, shadows spread across the room, glowing eyes and a grinning face appearing on the table closest to Azura.

“BOO! You shouldn’t be in heeeerreee! You’re gonna be in big trouble!”

A child’s voice echoed around the room, sounding like it somehow came from everywhere.

[ricksanchezbignaturals]

when rick is a bit mean i want to blow him up one million times but i think morty should be allowed to kill whoever he wants for fun tbh

[thegreatyin]

im very new to fl so i might be missing some lore things, but why is the vake yearner so desperate to obtain hearts? from my understanding, when you die, the psychopomp there is chill to let you go so long as you show him your sick chess skills. is there something else im missing?

there's one thing you're missing, yes- the vake yearner is a noman!!

in-game/in fallen london canon, nomen are a christmas-exclusive companion with a special decaying mechanic. they're always made in the image of your FLPC (essentially being a clone of them) and they will almost always die, no matter what, come the end of winter.

when your "noman's friend" quality hits zero, the noman melts, and is removed from your inventory forever. there is no way to save it. there is no way to keep it. you can only watch and wait.

there are special challenges to keep the noman alive for an unusually long time (the longest and most difficult of these being the memories of a doubled spring achievement, which requires keeping it alive until early may) but beyond easter, sustaining the noman is pretty much mathematically impossible. it requires an absurd amount of expensive items that will take multiple years of grinding to accumulate, and overall it's just not worth it in the long run.

all nomen die. that's just what they do.

...............except, well, the vake yearner is a special case. she can sustain herself- for the most part- completely independently, with no assistance required from her original self (the scoundrel) nor her makers (the scientist and the academic). additionally, and probably far more importantly, she does not melt. unlike all other nomen, she can last forever provided she has a steady supply of sorrow and blood. she was even created in the middle of summer!

...but she can last forever only if she has a steady supply of sorrow and blood. because if she does melt, well...

that's it. she's done. she's a noman. she's never going to come back. once she dies, she dies for good.

it's just how nomen are.

[thismission]

ashur and dorian bullying each other is one of my favourite things canon ever gave to me

[jimmyspades]

"I’m not the most connected individual, Denny. Sometimes words are all that allow me to feel like I’m a part of the world, a part of life. If I don’t have words, then I’m alone." JAMES SPADER as Alan Shore in BOSTON LEGAL 2.21 "Word Salad Days"

[gh0sdae]

Wauwu time

[skrunksthatwunk]

KIRYU JUNGLE GYM BOYFRIEND

based on this post from earlier today <3

[mushroompoisoning]

continuing my philosophy of The Mechanisms Can Make Any Setting A Comedy. today's installation: the mechs x I have no mouth and I must scream

[tantamounttoflirtation]

Obsessed with how Hannibal always stands there with his coat over his arms like a proper gentleman. He's all "look at me I'm a fancyboy I'm so mild mannered and kind and humble" baby you literally kill people. You're fooling no one. I need to crush him

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Space Pirate + tree, please!

See, the thing was, right, he knew what it was. Like, objectively, he absolutely did. He might not have gotten the education Mister Fancy over there got (just because he was supposed to be on the ship, not the children of people who hid in the cargo), but he did read books. He knew what a tree was.

But man, that thing was massive. It dwarfed the four of them, branches extending out in all directions, at least twice as big around as him.

He moved without thinking, scrambling up the tree, ignoring the way the bark dug into his palms. It was much more textured than the shiny metal of the ship, much easier to hold onto as he pulled himself up. Higher, higher, not giving a thought to the ground; there was only up.

It was.... Okay, he could admit it: it was pretty. Maybe even beautiful, or whatever. From all the stories he'd heard up top, this place should've been a wasteland, but Allie's peeps... For all that the way they treated her was messed up, they'd done a good job with the land. Everywhere, as far as the eye could see, fields of vibrant green.

Ryn would love it up here.

Not letting himself overthink it, he called down to her (and whoa, okay, he was a little higher than he realized), "Hey, Ryn, come check this out!"

Her answer came with a laugh that did nothing to disguise her terror: "No thanks, I don't really do heights!"

Well. He'd have to help her with that sooner or later, but in the meantime... He grabbed a leaf, the most vividly green one he could find, and made his way back down, way less gracefully than he'd ever admit.

"Here ya go!" He held out the leaf, and Ryn grinned, tucking it behind her ear without hesitation. And... Yeah. She was beautiful.

[here-there-be-drag0ns]

me, giving my dog a bowl of ice with treats frozen inside it that will occupy him for a While: haha silly dog with your silly enrichment toy. surely we have nothing in common!

me, not even ten minutes later: oh boy genloss!!