#he is flirting like crazy

[osamusriceballs]

I got a bit carried away here 😩😩😩

You enter an arranged marriage with one of your faves. Who falls first?

[dragonqueenstormwitch]

huge advocate for kaz using his sleight of hand skills to slip flowers in inej’s pockets/hair/etc

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 266

Back on my Danny & Ras frienemies/rivals/maybe-lovers-nobody-can-tell-their-signals-are-very-mixed train. 

See, Danny has gone through time a lot. Often. It comes with being Clockwork’s charge-son-thing and honestly he finds it fun. And several times he’s used this time travelling to get some training in. Enter Ras, stage left, also a teen at the time and also learning swordsmanship from the same person. 

And they… utterly despise each other. They would kill the other for an apple slice, if the other one would die! But also, only they can kill the other, as it is obviously their right! 

And well, they keep running into each other. It has been a hundred years, surely the other would die by now? But of course their rival would live through utter spite. Probably to spite them specifically. 

The amount of times they have ended up sparring- trying to kill each other or not- the moment they see the other is actually ridiculous. But time is also passing. And… Danny understands, not having another to talk about things people are forgetting, or have already forgotten. 

How they ended up actually talking without a murder attempt was a long story that included a demon, a dragon, a pair of fae, some bandits, and a lot of alcohol, but it happened. And then it happens again. And again, and now it’s just kind of normal to share a drink after their spars, talking about things that no longer exist, and things they miss. 

Sure Danny can go back in time again, but he knows better than to do it willy nilly. He’s matured, he’s been an adult for a hundred years now, he knows there’s consequences for messing with time, even with Clockwork’s blessings. 

The first time they got married was technically for an undercover assassination. Well, Ras was there to assassinate someone, Danny was there to grab an artifact that should Not be in the realm of the living. And they got divorced after, it was fine. 

They just, also got married again when they met a few years later, for another job. And… okay, so maybe they have gotten married over a dozen times now and only divorced like half of those times. Half of those were for the bit or while drunk! 

And even if technically they’re married or shared a bed, it’s not like they're exclusive! As Ras’ daughters’ existences attest to (adopted in one case or not). They don’t exactly have a label for their relationship, despite others asking for one or trying to put a name to it themselves. 

Now Danny knows Ras isn’t exactly a good dude, or at least on the side of ‘good’ as he’s a literal assassin. But he also knows that good? Bad? Rather relative. He had gotten labeled as a villain when he was just trying to help all that time ago after all, and really who was he to tell someone else how to live their life? 

Which brings him to now, where he’s run into his old frienemy-rival and his youngest daughter. Who has a braindead teenager and a small toddler. Which is fine, really- but also, Talia dear, why are you using a brain dead teenager to guard your three year old son? 

…

Okay, Talia dear, Ras (Derogatory), why are you using your brain dead son and grandson to guard your younger son and grandson? Do you not have the Pits, which you were soo proud about Ras? Yes, he will spar with you, but for Realms’ sake, heal, what’s his name? Ah yes, go heal Jason and he’ll actually stick around for a few years, deal? Good. 

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

[smallidarityfan]

completely normal wild life things i guess

[mohntilyet]

is this a safe space to admit i really don't even like the lines in lucanis' first romance scene where he says something like "perfectly gathered clouds of doom" . but that does not stop me from loving him very much. i'm choosing to see this as a guy who is the terrible combo of reads romance novels, has never had a romantic relationship before AND his definition of 'good flirt' is synonymous with 'illario' so he's got an incorrect definition of what's actually romantic. the less lucanis is specifically trying to be romantic the more he becomes irresistible but i don't think he's caught onto that yet

[alexwilltellyouthings]

*walking around in my house talking loudly to myself* but also we have to consider they likely felt jealous of each other before, charles even recognizes edwin's jealously immediately when crystal is there, so during the whole season not only charles probably assumes edwin's jealously is platonic as it had always been, but also reassures him multiple times he's still the priority and that helps edwin warm up to crystal and not see her as a too much of a threat, EVEN after knowing they kissed, because the important thing is being sure of his place beside charles.

also that probably means charles may even know that what he felt towards monty was jealously but, then again, platonic, because why would it be romantic? how do you know the difference really between that and the fear of being left out, which is exactly what monty was doing to him? *gestures frantically*

[aka-indulgence]

More HT!Sans thoughts! I have so many thoughts of him shdnjfg

Have an idea for a siren/mermaid story for a while

You're a mermaid living in a village near the coast, in shallow waters. A deep sea cecaelia monster has repeatedly preyed on your kind, and the village has decided sacrifices are the best course of action. Of course, you end up on the menu, tied to a rope anchored to a boulder on the coastal dropoff where the shallows suddenly disappears to dark blue depths.

It’s quiet. No one visits the dropoff. Not only is it spooky and below you is just a cliff that drops into nothingness, surrounded by more nothingness on the surface, it’s where predators can hide anywhere. Especially predatory sirens.

It’s bad to struggle, nothing makes yourself a bigger neon sign that says “I’M INJURED! EAT ME!!”, but if you don’t try to get out of these ropes you’ll almost definitely be eaten.

It’s terrifying, you’ve been tossed aside by your village to be eaten by a horrible monster, spending your last moments struggling at the cliff’s edge, utterly helpless, panicking, and dreading what may swim from the deep.

And of course, something does.

You suddenly feel a tug on the rope tying you down. You turn to see a giant octopus skeleton on the boulder, one tentacle wrapped around your rope. He’s even more terrifying than you thought; a giant skeleton cecaelia with that one blood eye staring at you from dark eyesockets, a giant, horrible crack on his skull, with a wide hungry grin.

The bait worked.

You can do nothing, with every tail beat all you do is exhausting yourself, while the cecaelia has no trouble wrapping multiple tentacles on the rope to reel you in. Then, you’re face to face with the beast.

“what a pretty little snack you are, mermaid.”

You trade the bindings of rope to the bindings of his tentacles, and he brings you down to depths you’ve never seen, to his den.

… and then scary romance stuff happens eheheheheh

[solargeist]

I'm sosososo sorry if this wasn't how you intended it but why is your recent post phrased like grian in going to fuck his way into having a higher reputation 😭😭

🤫🤫🤫

[extremelybabygirl]

did he just...???? FUCKING WINK??????

[elcucurucho]

bbh and foolish are very close but the only way they know how to express this is through taking turns giving each other migraines and attacking each other physically psychologically spiritually etc

this is funny enough on its own but it’s also led us to one of the bits of all time: foolish is on the receiving end of badboyhalo’s sincere compliments one time and gets so uncomfortable that when it’s eventually revealed as a convoluted way to get him assassinated the primary emotion he feels is relief

[sotc]

do u ever think about what "love island - your ocs edition" would look like. even with your friend's ocs. put a bunch of ocs in a villa and it's like.. which couple is the center of drama and which couple is really solid. who is out there stirring the pot and spreading gossip. could ocs be into dating outside of their canon romances before finding their canon romance!!?? who would come in as a bombshell!!!! who or which couple would get dumped and why. who would win love island. honestly it's so funny to me to imagine. id love to hear about your ocs if you want to share 🤓

[beiyuanism]

au where fadel has a cooking blog under a fake name where he posts his recipes. every entry has that typical long, oddly personal introduction, except he assumes no one ever reads them anyway so he uses it as a diary of sorts. like, "growing up, mother would often be gone for weeks at a time, unless it was time for my younger brother and i to train to become assassins, so i was the one to cook in our household most of the time. this is the dish i would make on the days when i had no energy to cook after spending them at the shooting range" or "i developed this recipe for my late boyfriend a few years ago. he was the love of my life, so it really hurt me when i had to kill him on mother's orders, and i haven't made this dish again since then, but it's honestly a really good recipe and it would be a shame not to share it".

at some point, someone posts about it on twitter and it goes viral. people think it's just a very good bit and the author is extremely committed to it, because through the pieces of information you can actually piece together a full story of his life since childhood to most recent events, and it's so bizarre that no one considers it could be anything but a creative writing exercise for a bored housewife whose name he publishes under. that is, until someone accidentally remembers that a recent recipe on that one cooking blog had a story scarily similar to the assassination they're just hearing about on the news now, and people start connecting the blog posts to other unsolved assassinations. in the end, the consensus is that this is either a very dedicated expert in politics who is coincidentally crazy enough to cosplay as a killer in a niche cooking blog, or someone who knows enough about the mechanics of political killings to accidentally predict things. anyone who thinks the infamous assassin who's managed to escape dozens of times is writing about this on a public blog in his free time is treated as a conspiracy theorist, because, really, you have to be stupid to think that.

[karokawwo]

there are many things i'd like to see in the full game but the two things i ask, i BEG for are flirting/bonding in some way with ocudeus and masquerade with leander THAT'S ALL I WANT PLEEEAAASE

[greenswing]

He's like if an anime girl was a fat short robot

If I were to say this anywhere else I think I'd get locked up in a ward so good thing this is just tumblr!

[joznii]

late to the party with this meme

but uhh svens fake letter is some diabolical villainous behavior like brother PLEASE think of the consequences of your actions