#he is best android boy after all

[revenantlore]

. WIP introduction .

a neon bloodlust spin-off / sequel

In the shadowy outskirts of Nocturna City, Vega Esperon earns his living by sentencing people to an early grave. His latest assignment from the syndicate narrows a target over the head of Prism Nightingale, the owner of Club Bloodlust and leader of the vampire coven nesting within its walls.

Vega is quick to discover that he is not alone in his pursuit of Prism: 86, a rival hitman with a cybernetic arm and fragmented memories, is always one step ahead, complicating Vega’s mission and temporarily redirecting his mark to 86.

Whatever it takes to keep Prism his.

Their rivalry takes an unexpected turn when they learn Prism is seeking the location of a technological artifact known only as The Ruby, an item said to contain the power to amplify Prism’s hypnotic abilities and potential to enslave both vampires and humans.

Faced with a common enemy and the looming threat of The Ruby falling into the wrong—or any—hands, Vega and 86 form a reluctant alliance. Together, they embark on a perilous espionage to infiltrate Club Bloodlust, navigate its bloodthirsty thralls, and uncover the truth behind The Ruby’s location.

As they navigate the perilous world of vampires and technology, Vega and 86 find themselves drawn to each other in unexpected ways, but will it withstand the challenges ahead once The Ruby is secured and their focus returns to eliminating Prism?

[more details on vega and 86 to come]

@winterandwords and @indecentpause probably want to know about this

[fusionsprunt]

Hunter what the FUCK-

.

[shadowbriar]

Diego Hargreeves - Patches

Pairing : Diego Hargreeves x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 1.2k Warning : None. Notes : This might be the introduction of a story I'm working on. I cannot guarantee that I'll have the commitment to continue until it's end so don't have too much hope for this. I am open if you have any The Umbrella Academy requests at the moment, so do hit me up! If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕

He got eight of them.

For the longest time in her life, she’s never understood the silly yet cruel joke life cursed upon her. To be able to heal everyone but herself, no matter the wound or injury one might have, she’ll cure it in no time, so long as it wasn���t inflicted on her.

Once, it wasn’t this pathetic nor lonely. She had her brothers and sisters to weather to storm through. There were Pogo and Mum to share cookies and stories with. It’s been years since she felt such comfort and to have to drag her feet back to the house that had turned itself from a warm home into a prison before the last days of her departure is surely weighing on her heart.

“Welcome home, dear.”

Her heart was filled with warmth once the familiar motherly voice greets her. The corners of her lips curved into a big smile as she dropped her bags, running to the dearly missed figure, “Mum.”

It took the bot a couple seconds to return the embrace. No doubt that she’s been lacking a lot of upgrades ever since she left. When the two broke the hug, she stared at the ageless caregiver with fulfilled eyes as it stared back at her with its bright smile, blank and not blinking. This might have been the most home she could feel while she’s here.

“You’re not supposed to come,” another voice echoes from the stairs.

“Diego, that’s not very nice.” Mum scolded lightly “Your sister has returned to us.”

The boy showed a thin smile to the bot, patting her lightly on the shoulder, “I think Pogo was looking for you, Mum.”

With a slight nod, the android excused herself out of the room.

Now if Grace’s presence lightened her heart, the sight of this black suited man certainly plummets it.

“You look awful,” She greets, noticing the scars that litter his face “Surely couldn’t find a better nurse than me now, can you?”

“Please,” Diego snorted “You’re more of a deadweight than a nurse, if ever.”

Ouch.

She lets out an exasperated exhale, folding her hands in front of her chest in defence, “Well, I’m not here for you and I don’t take joy either on coming back to this circus, so if you could just get yourself off that non-existent high horse—”

Before she could finish her words, Diego had already walked away as if she wasn’t there to begin with. His back becomes the abundant evidence that whatever bad blood they had years ago is still staining his skin.

It wasn’t always like this, him and her. In fact, they were the inseparable two growing up. If Luther had Allison, Diego had her. The many times she healed his wounds had led them to grow closer as the years went by. He was the one with the most injury to heal, after all. The most careless in battle out of the eight, never backing down from a close combat. Though he would always come out triumphant, a little cut here and there would be something he never escaped from.

“Don’t mind him, he’s giving us all the sour comments,” Allison said as she linked her arms to her “I’m glad to see you.”

She smiles at her sister, squeezing her hand slightly in reassurance, “As I am to see you.”

—-

“You should really learn how to dodge a punch, Diego,” She says as she runs her thumb through his bruise “One of these days you’re going to go home and I may not be able to heal you.”

“Is that a loss on your part or my part?”

Her eyebrow rose, purposely pressing on his bruise without healing it that he winces a little, “Or maybe I just won’t heal you, that’s definitely a loss on your part.”

“As if you’ll ever do that.”

“Is that a challenge?”

Diego tries his best to bite the grin but it proved to be an even harder task than to back out of a fight. He stares at her fondly, finding the jitters in his stomach to amplify the longer he stares yet it feels impossible for him to break the contact. Perhaps she casts a little of her magic everytime she heals him.

“Don’t stare at me like that.”

“Like what?” He asks.

“Like Klaus stares at a bottle of gin,” She says, now examining his other cuts “Like I stare at Mum’s cookies.”

Diego smiles.

“Like Luther stares at Allison.”

“Would it be so bad if I stare that way?”

The wake from the unintended nap hurts her head. Her bed is much smaller than she last remembered with her feet slightly dangling on the edge and how the pillows have certainly lost their fluffiness. Everything in her room stays the same yet at the same time, everything has changed.

—-

Diego defeatedly threw himself to the sofa. He sighs, his knuckles cracking as he tries to ball his fists. The tidal wave of emotions were beating him black and blue in silence. It feels as if he was swallowed by a giant blackhole with no light nor guidance to get out of.

There was no need for him to be rude to her, he knew that. He didn’t want to do it, but seeing her back in their house, hugging and talking to Grace, hurts. It took him years to try and ignore the ghost of her. She was the one force that would fuel his mornings and ease him to sleep at night. She was the one soul that he would always go to seek refuge. She was the one that he would lay his life on the line for without a second of doubt.

But he had to lose it all after one stupid night.

A night that he would never be able to grow out of, both from the horror and the guilt. Diego shut himself out for days following that terrifying night, locking his doors and skipping meals as he tries to think of all the what-if scenarios.

What if he stayed home that night?

What if he forced her to stay home that night?

What if he saved her before she saved him?

What if?

Mindlessly, he reaches for a knife on his left chest. It was a stranger to the rest of his knives collection. Compared to the polished lightweight knives he tucked in his suit, this one butter knife was rather dull. It would serve no harm to anyone, yet he kept it closest to his heart as if it was his most prized possession.

Diego stared at the knife. His brows knitted, examining the item as if it held the answer to all of his questions. Or perhaps some guidance. Anything to help him keep his sanity and not lose the plot now that she’s back in his life. Was she staying or was she leaving for the night? He wasn’t sure. But even if she is leaving, the hours he’d have to spend with her would suffocate nonetheless.

His thumb traces the engraving on the knife’s handle. A little trace of an infinite loop that had somehow become his stress outlet: the number eight.

[itmeblog]

It's Black History Month

(Over here in the US of A) So here are some podcasts to check out.

Absolutely no Adventures - a fantasy (un)adventure story that follows Sig, the owner of Signature Eats bakery, as he aggressively avoids becoming embroiled in any daring quests or chosen one shenanigans even though the universe really seems to want him to do just that. This is a story about cutting Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey off at the knees to chill with friends and staying far, far away from the slightest whiff of adventure. And also baking. This is also a story about baking.

Afflicted - Lovecraft Country meets True Blood in this new series from award-winning producers Tonia Ransom and Jen Zink. In season one, a small East Texas town suffers supernatural disasters caused by a demonic book bound in human flesh…and only hoodoo can save the town from its affliction.

Apollyon - In the early 22nd century, the Apollyon virus wiped out 75% of the world’s population, and now most of the world is governed by the International Conglomerate of Research Scientists. Dr. Theo Ramsey is an ICRS research scientist who may have just discovered an effective vaccine for Apollyon, but the stakes to get the vaccine to the public are higher than she ever imagined.

Between Heartbeats - Tan immersive Urban Fantasy about the hurt, the powerful, and their growth within a broken world. We follow Sundiata, a guilt-ridden time manipulator with a knack for unemployment, and Nadia, a moralistic telepath determined not to lose control, as they balance frayed mental health against an unsympathetic police state. But when a malevolent presence rears is head, their neuroses become the least of their problems. Can our heroes make the most of their abilities before the option is taken from them?

Fan Wars: The Empire Claps Back - Two passionate Star Wars fans on opposite sides of the Last Jedi debate argue via Skype after their favorite forum closes down. If you love Star Wars (or call yourself a proud member of any fandom), you’ll love this romantic comedy told via

Harlem Queen - a Black historical fiction audio drama based on the life and times of Black, woman, "gangster" Madame Stephanie St. Clair during the Harlem Renaissance.

His Royal Fakin' Highness - What if Ophelia helped Hamlet get his throne back? This modern day, romantic comedy re-imagining of Shakespeare's Hamlet asks just that. As they stage an engagement in the wake of the king's death, these childhood frenemies must decide between duty and love.

InCo (This one's mine :D) - A Sci-Fi story about a disgruntled information seller, a mysterious space boy, and an android doing her best.

Janus Descending - a limited series, science fiction/horror audio drama podcast, follows the arrival of two xenoarcheologists on a small world orbiting a binary star. But what starts off as an expedition to survey the planet and the remains of a lost alien civilization, turns into a monstrous game of cat and mouse, as the two scientists are left to face the creatures that killed the planet in the first place.

Lady Lucy - Lady Lucy is an audio drama inspired by Shakespeare's "Dark Lady" Sonnets, 127-154. Between running her brothel, fighting the Church, murdering her friends' abusive husbands, and pretending to be a poet, the last thing Lucy needed back in 1586 was a surprise visit from her former flame... Will Shakespeare.

Liars and Leeches - Tonya Wright felt it all after the tragic murders of her sister and brother-in-law in a random act of gun violence. Struggling to travel outside of her home, she now lives constantly on edge about perceived threats that seem to surround her.

Nightlight - Multi-award winning horror podcast featuring creepy stories with full audio production written by Black writers and performed by Black actors. So scary it’ll make you want to leave your night light on.

Null /Void - a science fiction audio drama about a young woman, Piper Lee, whose life is saved by a mysterious voice named Adelaide. Piper soon uncovers a malicious plot by a monopoly of a tech company and must work with her friends and an unusual ally to help foil their deadly plot.

Out of Ashes - (currently remastering season 1) Follow a group of survivors as they navigate the ruins of modern civilization and battle against demons, ghosts, monsters and the looming threat of extinction from an ancient power.

Small Victories - A recently recovered drug addict tries to start her new lease on life, too bad life has it out for her.  This dramatic comedy follows Marisol through the ups and downs of her life.

The Courtship of Mona Mae - In the 1870s, pioneers Mona Mae Christophe and Zekial Montgomery search the American West for Mona Mae's mother, Clara. Mona must recall a past, long forgotten in order to survive, so that she can find her mother, love and create a way of life for herself.

Vega a Sci-Fi Adventure Podcast - In a fantasy futuristic world, Vega Rex is employed by her government to kill off the world's worst criminals. She's never met a criminal she couldn't catch…until now. Join Vega as she journeys through a world of bumbling apprentices, powerful technogods, and her biggest challenge yet. Hosted by Ivuoma Hall.

Witchever Path - is an anthology series where your decisions effect the story. Our stories are based in America’s NorthEast, featuring characters finding themselves in the thick of the unknown while tackling issues like queer identity, gender, race, and spirituality. Stories often focus on the communities not typically seen in stories taking place in New England, and giving voice to the perspectives of those communities while uniting under some universal themes. And the supernatural happens. A lot.

(All descriptions were taken from websites)

If you want to find more and there are way more there's a directory :D

[tammyu2]

Hey guys it been a while but I’m back with some ninjago content wooo!!

Dating the ninjas include:

Lloyd

I think you guys would be a enemies to lovers. He was cautious of you at first until he started warming up to you then he became your bestie.

When he realised he like you my boy was shyyyy. But he kept it in the inside and pretended to be more tuff for you. But sometimes he would get distracted and completely lose his tuff boy persona. Things like little touches here and there. Such as you both grazed hands or you fall and he catches you.

Buddy is blushinggg- Of course he doesn’t tell the rest of the ninja but he does drop hints here and there for advice.

“Hey Im asking for a friend- how do you flirt with a girl you kinda sorta like?”

The team is sus and deffo teases him on it a lot. So every but you know.

Once you two tie the not he is clingy. Cause his parents never hugged him enough (wow that was fowl of me-)

He always touches you in some way. Like either your holding hands, his arm is around you, etc.

He will only fully trust you with his deep past (if you don’t know it by then) later on in the relationship in fear that you will leave him.

When you don’t?- man had to restrain himself from both crying and proposing then and there.

Over all he is clingy and need affirmation that you love him cause of his extreme trust issues🫶

Cole

I feel like he is the type to not stress to much over crushing on you but at the same time. If anything goes wrong then it’s the end of the world.

The type to be like “Psh it’s not that hard. Your just having a normal conversation with your crush.” But when it happens he is all like “AHH I HOPE MY BREATH DONT STINK. DID I PUT ON MY SPECIAL COLON ON TODAY??”

He confesses to you with a burnt cupcake. He tried his best okay?? Leave the poor guy alone >:|

When you guys date he is definitely more layed back and comfortable around you. He trusts you more and you know he likes you so there’s no need to worry.

He honestly seems like that classic jockey bf minus the masoginistic mindest. He is actually a heavy feminist I believe.

But he is supper proud to show you off. Every chance he gets he talks about you. Man is not afraid to show off his amazingly beautiful partner.

Lou loves you. He actually books you and Cole private seat tickets whenever he has a show and you guys are in town for it.

Overall he is a loving chilled back man that is just so inlove with you.

Zane

He is an nindroid and naturally he always knows what’s wrong with him. But for some reason whenever he us around you his circuits combust. He had an idea of what he had but how could a android such as himself possibly have.. fallen in love with you?

It takes him a while to actually understand the full extent on his feelings towards you bc you are his first. But once he does he really doesn’t change his demeanour around you. It’s not like it changes anything it’s just a subconscious thing that he knows he likes you.

He will give you little gifts tho. And always help you out with anything that involves artificial intelligence.

When you two confessed he kissed you out of nowhere leaving you a flustered mess. It went down like this:

“What the?? Zane!! You can’t kiss someone out of nowhere! You caught me off guard..”

“But is it not true that I like you and you like me so that makes us a couple? And don’t couples kiss?”

“Yes but no. I’m gonna need to sit down and explain to you how timing works aren’t I?-“

After a bit he learned more about relationships and such. He still is lost here and there but he has the hang of it down. He is quite similar to Cole and is not very concerned about your relationship. Not that he doesn’t love you. It’s just a casual thing for him.

He makes a date for you two to try your best at hard or homey recipes to test both his cooking skills but also your knowledge on food as a whole. It’s a nice bonding thing you two do.

But over all he is a non chalant protective boyfriend that is just a little confused but has the spirit anyway!

Jay

When he starts liking you it’s obvious to everyone including you. He stutters and always blurts out complements not realising you hear them. He is always nervous and sweaty and he fidgets with his hands and is a complete mess for you.

He is a blabber mouth whenever he has the chance to bring you up. And he always sighs dreamily after as if he was a Disney princess or smth.

When you two confess he was loosing it. Like man was ready to pull out his hairs from nervousness. Luckily thanks to you he was much more calmed down after.

When you two date he is at your service at you command. Anything and everything if it’s possible he will give to you if you simply ask him. He will go out his way to show you how special you are to him and how much he loves you.

If you thought lloyd was clingy? He is NEXT LEVEL! Man is literally a koala. Unless on missions he will spontaneously combust without being with you.

His parents absolutely adore you. They love you so much you may as well have been their own daughter. They always ask Jay to bring you around for lunch or something just to see you again.

Over all He is a lovey dovey boyfriend who absolutely is yours till the rest do time even if god truck him down. So he’s a huge simp.

Sorry guys I’m rlly tired I will do Nya and Kai another day. Tata! Hope you guys stay healthy and stay safe!

~Tammy<3

[threepandas]

Bad End: Restructuring

The blast doors on my office were stronger then the ones on most bunkers. They matched the one's on the company dorms AND my personal rooms. Thing is? They weren't designed to hold out forever. In fact, I was pretty sure they were a pretty bit of security theater, just to let us fleshys feel safe.

We weren't.

Not a single moment of a single day.

The pay was unmatched. But then again, it'd HAVE to be, with the mortality rate. The morbidity rate on top, too. You didn't take a job like this unless you were crazy. Or, you know, desperate. College loans, man. They get you over a barrel and don't let up. But a few years of this? I'd be clear an free~

Few MORE years? I'd ever have a tasty little nest egg to fall back on, in case of emergencies. I just... you know, had to play it smart. Be really, REALLY careful.

No slacking off. No getting comfortable. Vigilance and best manners. Then we all get to go home alive. Because what's out there? In the Labs? Those guys can pop diamonds like we crush packing peanuts. Highest grade, fancy ass, metal bars of specialty blend metals? Tied up in pretty little bows.

They may LOOK like some sort of waifish boy band... but God, they are NOT. They are really, REALLY not. And their "personality" matrix program thingies? Apparently still a work in progress. A LONG work in progress.

People have fucking DIED.

But does management care? Of course not. Pay out some life insurance. "It was an accident on the job". And "of COURSE steps will be taken to insure to never happens again". Ha! My ass, it is. And my ass, they are. They aren't doing SHIT. Nor are they GOING too. They're in too deep with this project, whatever it is. And us?

Well WE'RE expendable.

Just the cost of doing business.

I watch bleeding edge technology move like dancers, room to room. The wall of screen lighting up my cramped little office. The mini-fridge hums and the fan whirrs, filling the silence. I try to spot FM-036 on one of the screens. I can't find him and it makes me nervous.

He might be hiding. Trying to be polite, in his own way. Since there was an incident.

I FUCKING TOLD Ric not to call them "it"! I TOLD him! It aggravates them. Provokes. You don't DO that with something... some ONE, with that much physical power. 36 put their fist through his SHOULDER. And the God damned wall! He might LOSE his arm, which? Given their ability to calculate better then most supercomputers?

Was probably the point.

I notice one of the androids messing with a computer in a lab. Fuck. I lean forward, hating drawing their attention but knowing I have to do my damn job. I press on the speaker system for that room after a quick glance at the ID on their jumpsuit.

"FM-047, could you please not touch that? I know you are aware that you are not supposed to tamper, meddle, or otherwise engage with the researchers notes or electronics."

The android stop typing. Their head rolling up and to the side to look directly at the camera, their body perfectly still. The angle borders on impossible. Almost owlish, nearly snake like. All perfectly smooth movements effortlessly controlled. Joint not limited by human designs. His face is bemused. Pleasant.

"Of course, night gaurd. My mistake. Thank you for correcting me." He replies, something almost like laughter, nearly like mocking, but not quite, in his smooth voice. They always sound like they are... HUMORING us. Working around us.

It sends a jolt of cold fear though my veins.

I... I REALLY hate talking to the androids.

Pity, they seem to like talking to ME.

"I was unaware you were on shift tonight. I will update the others. It's good to hear your voice again, you seemed nervous, last time we spoke."

Yeah. Because you were asking PERSONAL QUESTIONS. Oh, sure, they had dressed them up as "We're so CURIOUS about Humans~☆" but I wasn't an IDIOT. You Did NOT, under ANY circumstances, try to bond with the machines. NO chatting. That was lesson number one from my trainer.

And Frank? Frank had seen too many "but THIS time it's DIFFERENT! We're FWIENDS~!" Incidents end in unspeakable carnage. Lost too many noobies. We DO NOT chat! With the machines!!! DO. NOT.

"Ah~, you made her nervous again, FM-047" came from a different screen. I flinched. Jerked back so I could see it. Oh god. "Besides, I told you. The calculations showed she wasnt going anywhere. The 'money' is too good."

The androids had stopped. Turned, in some cases unnaturally, to stare up at the cameras. At me. It was a blatant show of how interconnected they were. How distance meant nothing to them. How... how enmeshed they were, in the Lab's systems.

COULD they see me?

I didn't want to know. I NEEDED not to know. If only so I could continue to sleep at night.

They smiled, clearly hoping I'd engage. I wanted to. God did I want too. Wanted to demand "what calculations" and for them to STOP looking at me like that. But I didn't. With tense muscles I careful lifted my finger from the speaker system's button and leaned back. Crossed my arms like I was hugging myself.

Do. Not. Engage.

Remember what Frank taught you.

My... my office felt so claustrophobic. Painfully small. Across the screens before me, matching faces huffed laughs of condescending amusement. Some out right DID laugh. Bright and mean noises that echoed in silence of the night.

Humans? Frank had observed (and I kinda had to agree) were beneath them, in their minds. Flawed little flesh creatures. Annoying. It was something the scientists were trying to correct. Pretty sure they fucked up. Badly. And long, long ago.

Watching over these guys? Felt like watching over a sea of identical demons. Pretty, cruel, and incapable of human understanding. Fond of tormenting the nearest human for sport.

"Tell us, night gaurd, are you afraid?"

Oh that's just PETTY. Fucking cliché as shit, too. I mean, YES, obviously. But STILL. And... and you know what? Fuck it! Frank, gave me his number for a reason! I scramble for my belt. The communicator there. It barely rings.

"Mph, m'awake! Wus happin' kid? Come on, talk to me."

I ramble. Knees dragged up on my chair, curled in a ball. Frank's low, old man, rumble a soothing focal point. These guys are so creepy. I HATE that they KNOW that. Gleefully will TRY to be, sometimes. Can BACK IT UP.

"Hey, hey. I'll stay on the line, okay? You just need to make it to morning shift. They're are creepy lil shits, but they can't get past the doors. I'll come get you myself, okay? Walk you right back to the dorms. You're going to be okay, sweetheart."

I nod, even though I know the old man can't see me. Manage to crackle out a "Mmmhmm". The androids haven't stopped staring. The worst part? Is they realistically DONT HAVE TOO. Can stay, perfectly still, like statues... forever, if they wish.

Watching.

With those "I'm laughing at you" grins. That "aaaw, how PATHETIC" expression. As though I were a wretched little animal to be observed. I ask Frank to tell me about his new show. It's... it's something about socialites, right? Historical? He's glad too. Filling my office with the sound of his voice. It's gonna be a long shift.

I don't notice, high up on the wall, near the back of my office?

A security camera that I do not control. It's red light on.

The company has to be sure it's employees aren't slacking, after all! Aren't up to no good! But don't worry, THAT camera is connect to a database the androids shouldn't be able to access! Because we told them not too.

And THAT'S IT.

No one will learn of the security breach until its far, far too late.

Now? They watch as I watch them.

And it's just the beginning.

[mozzaremi]

finally working on the ghost hunter au that i started a few months ago (?), but i did a complete rehaul on the concept

INFODUMP:

(okok, english isn't my first language and i'll probably edit out grammar mistakes when i'll find them, so please bare with me lol)

Initially, Aubrey and Kel meet as internet pen-pals, both share an interest in horror and all things creepy (tho aubrey prefers the creepy but cute stuff). While Aubrey is more of a casual fan, Kel is a full on enjoyer of anything and everything that's spooky: horror movies, creepy stories, and especially the ghost stuff.

Kel would always share to Aubrey about his fantasies of being a professional ghost hunter and maybe having a tv show all about his and Aubrey's adventures in the paranormal world.

Aubrey and Kel both live in the big city, tho Aubrey often visits Faraway as that's where her mother resides. She would often meet up a friend of her's named Basil: a shy guy who's really interested photography and everything related to plants. While hanging out with the flower boy, Aubrey would frequently do Basil's hair and makeup, later on he picks up some neat beauty tips from her that allowed him to explore his style. The visits to Faraway wouldn't last long, only being there for the weekends and holidays before she'd have to go back to her dad in the city.

Eventually Kel and Aubrey make a blog for Ghost hunting. Their content on there is amateur at best, but they gain a loyal following of other ghost enthusiasts, and non enthusiast, mostly just people who really enjoy kel and aubrey's friendship dynamic and their banter.

In their endevours, they would earn a loyal hater, who goes by "The Maverick" who would nickpick any and all instances of paranormal activity. Although sounding pompous and theatrical, he always finds reasonable proof to debunk all their findings.

Skip a few years, Back in faraway basil has to deal with the grief of his grandmother's passing, he would often stay at the graveyard just to mourn. The graveyard in faraway was infamous for having an unknown being living there, no one knowing if it's human and harmless or something paranormal and dangerous. No one has ever been able to get photo evidence of the entity, so they are more often percieved as an urban legend.

One foggy evening, Basil was back at the graveyard, doing his usual mourning session, when something sat besides him on a bench. Eyes full of tears, he didn't dare to face the person, so he continued with what he was doing. Eventually the person(?) starts asking questions to get Basil to vent to him and maybe calm him down and it works. Felling a little bit better Basil faces the person to see a guy his age in a very strange outfit. Once he got a better look at him, he jumped off the bench realising it's the fabled ghost boy of the graveyard. He runs away, but notes the fact that guy he talked to was very nice...

After that, he starts believing in a life after death, and his grief lessens knowing that possibly his grandmother is in a better place

Basil finds out about Aubrey and Kel making a ghost blog, there the two would film themselves searching through abandoned areas to find ghosts... or something, anything really. While they never found anything scary, they had a very good duo dynamic and Basil became somewhat of a fan of theirs. Basil noticed the poor video quality due to it being recorded on a crappy phone (android lol) and it inspired him to purchase a video camera.

When Aubrey visits Faraway again, he offers his cameraman services to her and she agrees. She introduces Basil to Kel and they all hit it off.

One day, when Aubrey and Kel are feeling hopeless of their Ghost Hunting adventure, Basil tells them the time he met a ghost in the graveyard back in faraway. They both take his word for it.

They get Hero to drive them to faraway, Hero who is a Uni dropout, he really doesn't have anything better to do besides taking up odd jobs to pay rent. He has saved a lot of money throughout the years of being uni-free and working at basically every retail job in the city, so the though of having a road-trip didn't bother him.

Once they are at the town of faraway, Hero hands them a packed lunch, and the gang is off to find a ghost! Being in the graveyard, things felt fruitless, not a lot of things were happening besides the fog that started to form. Kel got tired and started reaching for his bag to get the sandwich that Hero packed him. But there was a problem... there were no sandwiches to be found in his bag... Suddently his eyes meet the figure of the faraway ghost boy who was snacking on a BLT...

Kel alerts his friends to come grab some footage of the ghoul right in front of him, but an issue arose... the video camera wasn't working and couldn't get Sunny in the shot without the device glitching out.

The ghoulish boy named Sunny sees how restless, but persistent the ghost hunter crew was, he found their antics humorous at best, but once the big brother Hero comes to check up on them is when Sunny is on full guard

He summons chains from under the ground, binding the 4 visitors in place. Aproching them again he threatens to suck all the life out of them. They start pleading for their life and a idea accured...

Sunny gave them an offer to help him find his long lost sister...He is unsure if she's still alive or not, but he still feels the presence on her in the living world through the Something chained to his foot. In return he would spare their life and let them film him for their ghost blog. The gang agrees to his offer and just so they don't double cross sunny, he lays a curse on them that if they leave him behind on purpose, they would have their souls taken away from their bodies, turning them into lifeless husks.

AND SO THAT'S HOW THEIR ADVENTURE STARTS! they have this sorta mystery gang adventure going on, traveling across the US to find Mari while also having wacky high-jinxs and sunny allerting the others of ghostly presences in the area for Aubrey, Kel and Basil's ghost hunting blog content, just so they would get enough blog donations to keep traveling!

[28ms28]

MY Rating of F1 drivers based on their personality(more sway) and their track presence and racing

1. Charles Leclerc

(Track Menace who is also Pookie Bear) (unintentionally funny) (just an inchident) (canonically listens to sad songs after bad races) (piano man was at some point higher in the iTunes chart than at the actual championship standings) (clueless cringefail loser) (Ice-cream man) (14 year old Max Verstappen's nightmare) (best qualifier on the grid imo) (idk something about someone who is on course for achieving greatness and will not stop until he achieves it no matter the cost, something about so much sacrifices for something he got soo close to achieving something that did not work out in the end something about how he devotes himself to Ferrari like no one else could before him something about how fate chose him to be in that seat something about how he made it look easy something about how it looked like the way was paved for him something red red red idk something about web weaving) (dogdad) (we love Leo) (went to Lewis Hamilton school of naming his dog after his rival) (oh and dreams about community services with said rival) (very strong mental health and even bigger therapy bills) (did i mention he's il predestinato of the tifosi) (biggest Ferrari fan) (only one who knows how to race max verstappen) (he was an ankle biting child see any photos of his childhood as proof) (everybody is maxplaining victim he's a maxplaining enjoyer) (suffers from middle child syndrome) (Seb's Ferrari child) (committed parricide on Sebastian Vettel in 2019 and 2020)

2. Max Verstappen

(pookiest pookie to ever pookie, track lion, big brother, catdad, certified victim ,about to be 4 time world champ, deserves so much more love, so so so incredibly talented, he's just a shy boy your honour ,free my man he did all of it but yeah vibes, because I'm dutch, fifa legend(just online), Danny kvyat has nightmares about him, geography nerd, has zero skills in any other physical sport, is planning to become a sim racer, tu tu tu du max verstappen (fun lore about Max did you know this guy was ranked 21st in the world in ultimate fifa in 2018(or was it 2016?? Doesn't matter) like can you imagine being that insane like bro you are a f1 driver in a top team like pls ??) (community service enjoyer) (certified yapper) (is terrified of fuel stations(jos verstappen when I catch you) ) (#1 lecfosi) (cringefail loser and he knows it) (teammate destroyer) (has read every rule in the rulebook and knows how to break every rule in the rulebook legally ofc all legally) (Seb's redbull child) (on his way to break every single one of Seb's record just to spite the old man)

(And is friends with an old Austrian man somehow)

3. Oscar Piastri

(Pookie bear, Mark Webbers child that has Sebastian Vettel's evil aura (Mark you will never know peace), koala, polite cat, eldest sibling energy, Android lover, Carlos Sainz's nightmare gremlin, loves cricket(cannot play well bless his heart), #1 lestappen shipper(I respect that) is also somehow the eldest of the lestappen children(his granddads are Webbanso) ) ( Him and Fernando have plotted the downfall of alpine) (I have a feeling he hates Zak brown deep down which I agree with) (grill the grid champ(like I said aura of Seb Vettel))

4. George Russell

(British individual(derogatory), king of radio messages (oh crikey), has an evil aura which is probably why he gets along with Nando, makes amazing powerpoints(facts!!), head of the gdpa and he takes it V.E.R.Y seriously probably the admin to the f1 driver group chat, part-time driver part-time strategist, he's a better driver than people give him credit for unpopular opinion but I think he can be a wdc or least a close wdc contender if given the right car I think if he was in lando's car in 2024 he probably would have taken the fight to max idk about winning but he's for sure no easy breeze, f3 and f2 wdc too, very memefiable or wotever the word is) ( T pose)(t.a.l.l.)(one sweaty boi)

5. Carlos Sainz

(Spanish chilli, smooth operator, dog lover, says bye to his racing career after 2024( no wait let me tell you something let me finish let m- *shot*), certified zoning out( Carlos has been called to the stewards), Lewis Hamilton hater prolly, certified Fred vassuer hater, poor guy really he leaves whenever a team is getting good like come on, has had very good teammates and has been friends with them, in 2025 will become the third person in history to have raced for Ferrari, McLaren and Williams, I feel like he lacks a bit of aggressiveness in his racing like he operates smoothly and intelligently sure but yk you should have a bite yk )(whenever he finds this said bite and aggressiveness it's usually against his teammate I'm noticing you Carlos I'm noticing)( loves Lando Norris, golf master but humble about it, Maria Karey, one of the mature drivers on the grid, excellent at all sports, James aeiou has a crush on him, Lana del Ray coded, him and max were torro rosso nepo babies).

6. Lewis Hamilton

(7-time world champion, goat behaviour, was friends with P Diddy, rich cool wine aunt, #blessed, fashionista, Hammertime, Fernando Alonso's nightmare gremlin, don't ever mention 2016 in front of him, is haunted by Nico Rosberg, is neighbours with Nico Rosberg, will avoid Greece for the rest of his life, had a very public divorce, thus vegan, Silverstone 2008 you will always be famous, this Barbie is an f1 driver, still we rise guys, Toto Wolff and David Croft will sacrifice their bloodline for him, certified Micheal Massi hater, certified Bottas lover, we love him and Seb being the activists on the grid, this is getting manipulated man, did not survive Abu Dhabi 2021, did not survive Abu Dhabi 2016, has had caps thrown at him, Left family for Italian mafia, uncle I beg you please get your qualifying form back pls pls, is embarrassed by those toxic #teamlh and you cannot convince me otherwise, has let 2 baddies named Nico slip from him, ISS THAT GLOCK???, Bono my tyres are gone)

7. Lando Norris

(twitch streamer first f1 driver second, McLaren boy, hates papaya rules, has been multi21nd, mental health has been made very public by his own goddamn team, party-boy and DJ, fakes knowing how to play COD and Fortnite, very consistent racing good for him, terrified of first laps and poles, best friends with last laps and fastest laps(let's go Lando), shit at golf and geography but it's okay he makes up for it by being funny, probably misses being Carlos's teammate, but like Carlos lacks a bit of aggressiveness that is required, McLaren PR's nightmare gremlin, opposite of polite cat, has somehow managed to anger every fanbase and his car is the sole reason for the unification of RedBull, Ferrari and Mercedes, has been dealing with the wrath of Australia since 2021, at the end of the day just a curly haired guy ).

8. Fernando Alonso

(Spanish devil , Disney villain ahh character, 2005 and 2006 world champ, is looking for his 33rd win, Michael Schumacher's nightmare gremlin, grumpy old man first f1 driver second, lance lover(rare), Lawrence stroll's sugar baby, fast, prime Alonso I am scared of you, goat behaviour, holds a special grudge against McLaren and Lewis Hamilton(Alonso is sick of his ass), no more radio for the rest of the race, believes in karma, has dated Taylor swift apparently but is in love with Mark Webber( Jenson button is also somewhere in there), is known as El padre and has an el plan(everyone should be afraid), racecraft out of this world, 2005 Suzuka you will always be famous, all de time you have to leave da space, Alonso radio my love, aggressive but good racing the likes of which I have never seen and probably never will, what do mean by "I knew he'd brake earlier because he has 2 kids and a wife at home" like who says that what what??, worse career decisions than Ferrari strategies, bad luck so much bad luck, so chaotic so much chaos, has adopted Oscar and has plotted the downfall of alpine with him, Flavio haunts him, do not bring up Singapore 2008 in front of him especially not if Felipe Massa is present there, has driven the 2014 Ferrari and has not recovered from it, has outlasted Renault in formula one (wild), give Fernando Alonso 5 more points and he would be a 5 time wdc (even more wild), bye bye I'm still the bad guy)

9. Alex Albon

(alabonoo) ( bff with George Russell) ( is bullied by George Russell) (golf wag first f1 driver second) ( James aeiou has a favourite and it's Alex Albon) ( Alex really said I'm Thai first and a colonizer second and good for you Alex) (2020 Alex and 2022 onwards Alex are different people okay?) ( he's a consistent racer much like Lando but he makes mistakes more often, under pressure working is not his forte sorry pals but it had to be said) ( he's a really nice dude tho and really funny as well ) ( dude has a Chipotle member card as one of his essentials and you tell me I'm not supposed to love him come on be reasonable)(he has his own zoo he's a certified pet owner) ( if I had the money for that amount of pets I would do the same Alex I get it ) (also he's a Ferrari fan so you just know bro is always on hopium) (I think he gets put under the radar often but he's great) ( he seems to be a chill dude imo)(we both love lily)

10. Nico Hulkenberg

(German but like in a cool way) ( has been giving dad energy before he was a dad) ( called Hulk but is probably the calmest person on the grid) ( give my man Bruce Banner his podium nah it's not even funny anymore he deserves so much better than that) ( he's won le mans on his first try yk give him the Redbull seat for godsakes) (Nico is so cheeky like I know he's a gen x or something but like I see the genz potential yk) (Audi better have a car good enough for a podium I swear to god if we say bye to him before a podium I'm uhm I'm uh I'm gonna cry).

11. Yuki Tsunoda

(anime boi) (wants a restaurant before he wants a world championship and I respect that Yuki) (has an evil aura) (certified hothead because he's a certified good chef) (has the bitch spirit to be a Redbull driver but is not. because of Horner issues) (Yuki does make the occasional mistakes but like he's far better than the alt no?) (in the words of Yuki "idk man wotever") (too much anger for too small body) (is in love with Pierre Gasly) (is bullied by Pierre Gasly) (everybody loves Yuki even Nando is a fan)(tbf nandos a fan of anyone who has an evil aura) (people are terrified of Yuki radio as they rightfully should be) (Yuki is nightmare gremlin of every race engineer).

12. Pierre Gasly

(French but like from the north of France)(known for being French and Max Verstappen's teammate thus known for being fucked over by Redbull, also known for his revenge win in Monza) ( he's just a great driver like if given the right car he can fight at the top and win he's not on Max and Charles level yet but I feel like around George and better than Lando) ( he's also a good qualifier maybe it has something to do with speaking French who knows but yeah amazing what he can do in that shit alpine) (unfortunately he has a severe case of resting bitch face but he's very nice actually unless you are Esteban then he's not very nice) (yeah he also has the brocedes case of childhood best friends turned enemies but like French and he's very much Lewis in that way which means he would much rather ignore estie bestie than talk about him e.v.e.r while estie brings up his bestie Pierre wherever he can like Nico)( oh and he loves one Japanese boi)(pierreeee gasllyyyyy)

13. Kevin Magnussen

(Kmag the Viking) (my god nobody races like kmag lol) Okay so maybe I put him this high because he's a track terror to everyone but like watcha want me to do? Not acknowledging kmag's great defending is a crime, he is here to cause menace no matter how many penalty points he gains or races he's banned from he's really coming for Ocon's penalty points honour tbh. Shame really that this is his last season... just when things got interesting *sigh* (off the track he's a chill girldad) (hulk and kmag had an enemies-to-lovers story arc and I think that's beautiful)

14. Esteban Ocon

(he's French, he's from Normandy in France which is the north of France so you just know he was a bored child) (he and Pierre were bored babies) (which is probably why he races the way he does lol) (5-second penalty for Ocon) (no but seriously this guy has mad potential but also he's a mad teammate killer and not in a good way) (he has made a way for himself in formula one and he belongs here it's just that maybe if he tried targeting people other than his teammates he would make it much easier for himself) (he's a very cheerful person irl) (big Marvel fan) (gives very early teenage boy vibes) (softie at heart) (cannot for the life of him pronounce squirrel)(oh he also loves lance(rare)) (Estie bestie is on the podium babyyy)

15. Daniel Riccardo

(Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi oi oi ) (damn Daniel) (it's not tears it's athlete sweat ) (I mean I knew it was time to go but still it didn't have to be this way it's okay tho Danny is enjoying retirement and dirt bikes) (yeah the performance was just not there for Danny boi not that we could see it anyway because of vcarbs shit strategy or whatever they call it) (I miss prime Daniel he was such an annoyance to Sebastian)(2014 Daniel took the Australian revenge on Seb for his crimes against Mark Webber) (but yeah Daniel you go out of this sport with lots of love and a fastest lap)(ki ki aye)

16. Valtteri Bottas

(Finnish when he was in Mercedes but is officially Australian since then) ( Bottas more like Bott-ass get what I mean) (I mean that he has a weird obsession with his gluteus maximus) (Valtteri pls I beg you stop this behaviour) (10 time Grand Prix winner Valtteri has nightmares about James aeiou) (Valtteri it's James) (he's pretty chill all he cares about is racing, cyclist girlfriend, and his mullet+moustache(not necessarily in that order)) also here's a sad fact since Valtteri won't be on the grid next year it would be the first time a Finnish racer is not in the grid since 1989 yeah everybody is waiting for Robin Raikkonen now.

17. Sergio Perez

(Checo damn man what happened) (no 2 Redbull driver curse got to checo) (he was doing so good in racing point like Sakhir 2020 my beloved last to first, man what a performance that was) (he is capable of doing such great things but nooo bro gets knocked out in q1 more than he has reached q3) (Redbull killed the dawg in him man) (certain Austrian man haunts his nightmares and no it's not Niki Lauda) (he and Logan are the nightmare gremlins for mechanics)(even when he performs it's usually in no human right countries so he's not really helping the allegations) ( this poor Latina I swear to god) (he can't drive and he's up and about with other women(Taylor swift 1989 reference) aye aye aye(checo go home to your wife and children).

18. Logan Sargeant

(American) (bald eagle noises) (collective groan of William mechanics) (sorry logie bear)(James aeiou shall face the wrath of Jenson button it's ok) (first American to score points in f1 since 1993 that's 30 years so yaaay!!) (American history will be kind to you Logan)(not sure about f1 history tho) (your last gift to us was a sick ass album cover and I respect it) (if only he knew what a kilometre was * sigh*)(bye bye miss American pie).

19. Zhou Guanyu

(China boy) (another alpine escapee) (Zhou I'm sorry but you're not him anymore) (I miss pre-Silverstone 2022 Zhou where has my dawg gone man) (Zhou may not be as good of a racer now but he makes it up by being a fashionista) (tbf to him that Sauber stake monstrosity is not really helpful so) (also he is a catdad and had an emo phase through f3) (He's the first Chinese to ever race in f1 I think he's done his country proud) (He's also a proud Valtteri lover)

Okay so rookies next I did not include them here well because they have had like on avg 4 races soo

1. Oliver bearman

(ollie) (what a wonderful job he has done my god) (p7 in Jeddah on a day's notice wow dude) (he's driving for Haas in 2025 and his teammate is Esteban so that's..great (my condolences!! ifykyk)) also points in Baku after he passed his teammate (tell me you are a lestappen child w/o telling me you're a lestappen child) what I've seen from him I can tell he's very relentless that's good(also he's the most employed unemployed person ever) (also I heard people criticising him by commenting on his current f2 season like babe did u see his rookie f2 season?? that's why he's here not because of this year but last year and he's not doing bad this year it's just the car is shit but yeah he was at one point higher in the f1 standings than in f2 so I get why people are confused lol) (also he's super likeable very Genz very demure very mindful) (Ferrari has grown him in a lab with utmost care so he's very much a PR baby)

(oh yeah also he's in love with Kimi Antonelli) (yeah they are being genz lestappen)

2. Franco Colapinto

(Frankie baby) (Argentinian and very proud) (is very funny) (is also very genz) (sent James aeiou into a crisis by doing a better job than Alex Albon) (scored 4 times the amount of points than his predecessor in his 2nd race) (looks like Senna goes for the gap like Senna( in racing!! in racing!! calm down man)) (he deserves his place in f1 next year my god) (like the racecraft he has shown is very impressive I'm impressed and so is very f1 team even if he does not get the seat next year I doubt people are gonna forget about him believe me he will be in the talks still) (like I said he's not even had a full f2 season when he was called in for Williams and yet the incredible pace he has shown is fantastic) (has all the 30+ aged drivers enthralled with him and I don't blame them I would be too) (also he refers to Ocon as the Frenchman so where do I submit my stan card??) (oh and he has been adopted by Max Verstappen)

3. Liam Lawson

(aka New Zealand's revenge on Australia) (he did a fantastic job in 2023 and has been doing a fantastic job in 2024) (his idol is Lighting McQueen.....so now that everybody knows that he's Genz you can probably understand why he is beefing with Nando and Checo(boomers) (I think he drives aggressively but not as smoothly he is yet to find a balance it looks like but hey it's working out for him no?) (honestly just give either him or Yuki the Redbull seat) (off the track he's quite an expressive person but I don't think we have seen much of his personality he's friendly for sure and I mean he's a cars fan like come on he's a Pixar kid) (idk something about him says yeah I'm Genz but I still go on Facebook) (not that it's bad not saying the vibes are bad just Liam show more personality).

So that's pretty much it let me kno-what ? what do you mean I forgot someone oh lance stroll?? yeah no I didn't forget(I wish) I just have nothing to say really.

PLS READ these rankings are in my opinion and my opinion only please be kind to me this ranking is for humorous and comedic purposes only no hate to anyone!!

[murkyred]

Jagged Arrays (a Batman/Red Hood AU)

Lifelike androids are the norm -- for the higher class, that is. Child-bots that are treated like glorified tamagochi, robo-children that grow up as long as you feed them right yet don't starve if you do forget to feed them? That don't have to be watched at the pool because they can't drown? Sure. Terminator-style models? Those should be handled discreetly outside of military operations, but sure. Anything in between? Of course! Name your price and you'll find yourself with a satisfactory model.

Outside of the higher class, next to nobody can afford these outrageously expensive playthings... legally, that is. In Crime Alley, the black market for androids, parts and illegal modifications booms. Willis Todd is a mechanic and it had only been a matter of time until he had to resort to android business to get food on the table for him and his girlfriend. With the rise of androids that are able to do jobs that would've required paid workers before, the chances of scoring a legal job are at an all-time low.

One day, his girlfriend Catherine comes to him with a request: It seems she has found a banged up child robot in the streets, and she begs him to fix it for her. He can't help but oblige, knowing full well how much she has always wished for a child of her own. Crime Alley is no place to raise a child, especially not with the lack of food security, so a child-bot would be the next best thing.

And who is he to deny sweet Catherine her wish? So, after a few days of tinkering, Jason Todd is "born". They know legally registering the android child is not an option after acquiring him like that, so they go the far easier route: Registering him as their biological child.

And all is well, until it isn't... but that's life in Crime Alley four you. Catherine falls sick, Willis ends up in jail and Jason? Jason flees before CPS can catch sight of him. He can't afford to get caught, a simple checkup with a doctor would make it obvious that he's not like the other children. Lone android children don't go to orphanages, they go to the landfill.

At least his sensors and inability to actually starve give him an upper hand out in the streets... and while jacking tires. He's great at that, as it turns out. It goes well until one day, he bites off more than he can chew and attempts to jack the wheels of the batmobile. Or, well... He succeeds in jacking three of them, but gets caught upon coming back for the fourth.

He didn't know what he expected Batman to do, but taking him back to the batcave hadn't even been on the list of possibilities. Of course, it doesn't take the man long to figure out that he's not exactly made of flesh and blood, but the man's reaction to the revelation wasn't what Jason had expected either.

Knowing full well that a stray android child had nowhere to go, Batman offers to take him in.

The man offers Jason to register him legally, to which the boy reacts with the threat of running away. Batman - or Bruce, as Jason comes to find out - relents, seeing as the boy has a perfectly watertight human identity to use. What's one more family secret?

Jason, as it turns out, fits right in. Sure Dick takes his time warming up to him -- to learn that soon after moving out Bruce had taken in a robot child to play house with had stung, but interacting with his new brother quickly taught him that Jason acted a lot less robot and a lot more child that one might expect. The boy was smart, witty, and had stolen the tires off the batmobile! He could see what Bruce had seen in him that night.

It didn't take long for Jason to debut as Robin, taking to the role like a fish to water. It was amazing, really.

It was amazing, until it wasn't... but what did you expect from a Crime Alley kid? They just weren't afforded with such luck.

Bruce, the ever-worried father, had realized something: Most robot models were programmed to adhere to Asimov's rules... especially the child-bots -- yet was Jason able to go out as Robin and fight humans. He knew that Jason's coding wasn't exactly... traditional, but this realization did cause him to worry. How far did this irregularity go?

So when a diplomat's son fell to his death and Jason claimed to not have pushed him, Bruce was unsure. He had always believed that the irregularity only allowed his son to fight humans to protect others, but what if he had been mistaken? Bruce had to get to the bottom of this, so he decided to bench Robin for the foreseeable future.

Jason, meanwhile, felt hurt. And yes, maybe robots didn't compute emotions like humans did, but he had read a lot of books and couldn't help but... well, feel like those words were fitting. His own dad didn't trust him.

But maybe the one who designed him would be able to make Bruce understand! So, with newfound enthusiasm, Jason started researching and tracking down the person behind his particular model: Sheila Haywood, who currently worked in a program for medical assistance androids in Ethiopia. His "mother", for lack of a better term, made robots to help people. Ha! Take that, Bruce.

We know how this story ends... Jason leaves home to find his "mother", and he succeeds. Only is Sheila not what she appears to be. Where her "son" stands before her, all she sees is the product that she'd helped building... And realizes that she had helped building her ticket to freedom, to get away from the Joker.

Sheila would be proven wrong, but in the end that didn't matter.

What did matter was that on that day, Batman failed to save Robin, that Bruce failed to save his son.

Rich people like buying child-robots because they're durable... but even his durability, despite it far surpassing that of a human boy, couldn't save him from that blast. That day, Bruce returned home with the mangled body of a boy... and the fact that there was wiring poking out of the costume instead of bones made no difference for his grief.

🦇

Years later, there's a new player in Gotham, one who calls himself Red Hood, hiding his face under a helmet and distorting his voice with a modulator. He wears a bat on his chest yet won't hesitate to use the guns strapped to his thighs. Is he a man? Is he a robot? It's hard to tell... but what quickly becomes apparent is how dangerous he is.

[irondadfics]

Hello! I was wondering if anyone knows any fics of Peter being a bit of a dick? I love the stories where he is rude to people, normally as a way to push them away so they can’t see how bad his life is. Any examples of rude/sassy Peter would be greatly appreciated!

here are some for you! Happy reading

Wake up and smell the coffee by Bergen

The Avengers find themselves in need of Spider-Man’s help to improve their reputation. Peter Parker, however, doesn't exactly have the best reputation: he has been dabbling in a life of crime. Tony really doesn't care about picking up after some degenerate teen. Peter really doesn't care about some dumb adults telling him what to do. And nothing will ever, ever change their minds.

100 Hours (Community Service is for the Turtles) by orphan_account

“Hey there, Parker. I’ve got some exciting news about your community service sentencing,” the bright voice from the other line says. "It looks like you've been reassigned." “Oh, yeah?” Peter asks, warily. His social worker sounds excited, but he's been burned a few too many times to take any "good news" at face value. Peter listens to her explain with a furrowed brow, and when the call is over, he opens the web browser on his cracked Android and quickly types the words september foundation into the search bar. His eyes narrow as he peruses the top result. Oh, he is going to kill that Stark bastard. - All Peter Parker wants to do is fly under the radar. He wants to go to school, work off his sentence by picking up trash at the stupid park, and avoid going home for as long as possible each night. Unfortunately for him, Tony Stark has never been one to see untapped potential and not do something about it.

The seventh escape by Bergen

Tony and Pepper snatched Peter up only a few weeks after the first Spider-Man video went viral. Real fucking coincidence, right? Suddenly, Tony Stark rocked right up at his group home, strewing business cards around like he was Oprah. If Oprah were an ugly white dude with a goatee. “Big fan,” he told Peter, fasting forward through a video of Spider-Man catching a bus before it crashed through a road block. “In and out of foster care your whole life, am I right? I believe my wife and I could provide a very fitting home for you.” “Pass,” Peter said.

Paradigm shift by Bergen

Peter got a Stark phone when he was ten. Adrian took him to a big store with lots of TV screens that all played the same video of Tony Stark declaring to the world that he was Iron Man. They ducked behind the microwaves, both of them giggling as Adrian stuffed the phone under Peter’s sweater. They walked right out the door without tripping the alarm, and Adrian bought him ice cream to celebrate. — After his parents die, Peter is taken in by the Toomes family. Things slowly, then quickly spiral out of control. All Adrian wants is to take revenge on Tony Stark. All Peter wants is to do the right thing. Why is that so much harder than expected?

the long game by niniblack

“Your prints were a match for a missing persons case from ten years ago. A little boy who was kidnapped.” The officer pulls out a picture that she turns toward Peter. It’s a little boy around four years old, with curly brown hair. “That’s you,” she says. Peter shakes his head. “Do you remember how you got to that park? Who left you there?” “Lady, I don’t remember jack shit,” Peter says. “I was like four. No one remembers shit from when they were four.” --- Or: the biodad au where Peter gets arrested for selling drugs, and that actually improves his life.

[itz-pandora]

Tell me about the misc au hedgehogs

Oh gosh I could say so much about each dudeeee. Like. OUGGHH

Sonic the Hedgehog, formerly Nikki

A kind boy who was initially secretave about his past, choosing to only look towards the future. He's heroic and adventurous, and has a bit of an ego and attitude. He can be selfish and emotionally unobservant, but he's not cruel. Just kinda... Stupid.

He left his home and life as Nikki when he was 10. He changed his name to Sonic and decided to try to play off as a boy (even though he was born female.) he liked being Sonic and the thought of going back to his old identity was sickening. He never wanted to look back, so he didn't. He left because he felt suffocated by rules, and he heard about Dr. Robotnik terrorizing West Side Island, so that's where he went and met Tails and the rest is history.

Amy Rose

When she first met Sonic, she was infatuated by his bravery and heroism. She wanted to be like him, she tried her best to keep up, but she never could. She wanted to pull her weight. She decided that if she couldn't pull her weight with her skill and power, she's try to be the best friend she could. Her compassion is her real weapon and shield.

She's convinced many people to turn a new leaf and is a friend of all, even if she can be a bit stubborn. She's three years younger than Sonic.

Amy helped a lot of people, and even ended up dating Shadow and Neo Metal.

Shadow the Hedgehog

An android made 50 years ago aboard the ARK, designed with the initial motive to save the planet and solve problems with his adaptive learning. A failsafe program was installed in his code to keep him from going berserk, Maria's final wish, but after the ARK Raid, his memory files were altered, and he blamed G.U.N. for shooting Maria. (Maria is entirely a false memory, since she didn't live past toddler hood.)

Shadow is trying to be a good person in his own way, still stoic and often distant. He's afraid of being controlled, weaponized, or being just another mindless machine. He built up a mentality that since he's not organic, he's not truly a real person. Even though his friend try to beat that mentality out of him, he does relapse whenever he's proven right (He's usually more emotionally distant and touch adversed in these states.)

Shadow was made with old hardware, but his software gets constantly updated. Shadow often overheats and short circuits when he's experiencing intense emotions or spiraling because of how many programs he's running (sometimes he bluescreens and crashes) and he has a lot more or android world building but I've talked for long enough.

Silver the Hedgehog

A friend from 200 years in the future who was initially joined by his childhood best friend, Blaze. Him and Blaze were scavengers for a lot of their lives, until they got competent enough to fend off Iblis. Blaze was a normal person, no powers like Silver's. Silver was tricked by Mephiles, and after risking and saving the past, lost Blaze once she sealed Iblis inside herself. Silver was messed up for a long time, until he decides to do something. He goes to Little Planet and obtains the Time Stones, using them to return to the past.

Silver befriends Espio and lives with the Chaotix Detective Agency, and also works with them. He's also a good friend of Amy since he has a soft spot for her. Silver and Espio are dating, but they don't announce it or anything.

Scourge the Hedgehog, formerly Manic

Sonic's younger brother (2 year gap) and the last person to see Nikki before they ran away to become Sonic. Manic looked up to Nikki, and when they left, he was devastated. He felt guilty for Nikki leaving, he blamed himself, and he hated himself for it. His family was tense from the stress and loss of Nikki, so Manic depended on friends for comfort and as an escape, but that turned out to be a bad influence as the people he spent time with lead him down the wrong path.

Present day, his name is Scourge, he's vengeful and hates Sonic. To him, Nikki doesn't exist anymore, it's just Sonic. He tries to sabotage Sonic, trying to make Sonic feels anything close to what he went through. He eventually gets arrested LOL I don't know exactly what he does though. Him and Fiona do still date and are actually childhood friends.

Sonia the Hedgehog

Sonic's older sister (3 year age gap) who tried to steer Nikki in the right direction, but was crushed under the weight of Nikki's absence. She withdrawaled almost completely, dedicating her time to search if her sibling was still alive.

I don't have a ton about her yet.

[marksbear]

Hii papa bear! It's my birthday today and all i could think about was your amazing writing and Connor from dbh. So I'd kike to ask of you could write something where it's y/n's birthday but he has to be at work. So when y/n comes back from work he's frustrated and angry. Connor notices y/n's mood so he tells y/n to sit down and get comfortable and than he gives him a show. Which leads to y/n fucking Connor senseless? (And maybe some cock warming cuddling at the end)

Please and thank you!

Have a good day/night!

- Day 🦔

Hey Day! Happy birthday my love! I hope you have the best birthday ever and you get lots of gifts! 🎂 🍾

Waring! Birthday boy reader, Y/n having a rough day, SMUT, couch sex, cock warming, birthday sex, rough sex.

RK800 CONNER X birthday boy TOP MALE READER

*Buzz* *Buzz* Y/n's phone begins to vibrate on the night stand.

Y/n lets out a muffled groan into his pillow before turning his head to the dresser picking up his phone. Y/n holds his phone to his face. "Annoying prick." Says the id name and Y/n already knows who it is.

Y/n looks at his sleeping boyfriend before answering the phone.

It was Reed calling him. Every year on his birthday Gavin is the first to call him and tell him happy birthday. Y/n clicks on the answer letting it go on speaker.

"Happy birthday fuck face. Maybe this year you'll die." Reed says with a teasing tone.

Y/n was too tired to say a comeback since he was way too tired and exhausted. "Thanks Gav, lets go to the club like last time maybe on Sunday to celebrate."

"Why not today?" Gavin says back.

"I have to work. Then I plan to be with my family and boyfriend. So y'know only free this Sunday." Y/n answers back before saying a bye before hanging up.

Y/n turns his body around to face the power of android staring at him. A little while later the led on Conner's head slowly becomes blue signaling that he's waking up.

Y/n sits up from the bed laying his back on the headboard watching Conner get up.

"Good morning Y/n." Conner states looking up at his boyfriend. "Good morning con." Y/n says before leaning in kissing him on the lips. Conner automatically kisses back with a tiny smile. Conner is first to pull away looking Y/n in his eyes before saying.

"Happy birthday! You're a/n starting from today." Conner wishes also adding in a little reminder. "Thanks baby~" Y/n says resting his head against Conner's for a while enjoying the peace.

Conner begins to ramble on about the history of birthdays. "the Egyptians were the first ones to get the party started. When Egyptian pharaohs were crowned gods, they were “birthed.” That means the first birthday celebration wasn't marking the birth of a human, but rather the birth of a god.----"

Y/n cuts Conner off by kissing him deeply. "Thank you again." Y/n thanks before getting up from the bed with Conner following him shortly.

TIMESKIP

Y/n is all set ready for work, but Conner stops him before he could leave the house.

Conner wraps his arms around Y/n's shoulders standing on his tippy toes. "Bye Y/n, I love you and again happy birthday."Conner says resting his head on Y/n's.

Y/n moves his hand on both sides of his boyfriend's hips holding him tightly. "I love you too. And thanks." Y/n responds back with a deep kiss. The two stay in the other's arms kissing and slowly rocking back and forth until Y/n needs air.

"Alright, bye love you!" Y/n says before letting go of Conner and walking out the door.

"Love you!"

Timeskip

After work Y/n drives home in total silence. He has a tight grip on the wheel with his jaw clenched tight with his hands trembling in anger. Y/n leg bounced and shacked as he thought.

Y/n didn't know how his day went from good to bad so fast in only a few hours.

Maybe because it started to rain hard when he was going to work. No... Maybe because his co-workers were being annoying rude shits to him. No that's not it. Maybe because his female co-worker was pressing up against him and flirting. God that's not it either. Maybe he had piles of paperwork to do and it was overwhelming.

Y/n couldn't pick a reason to feel this way. Maybe it was just everything in general. Yeah. That sounded right.

Y/n drove his car to the drive way and turned off the car taking his keys out holding them tight as he just stared at the wheel. Y/n felt like he was losing his mind.

The male stayed in the car for almost an hour alone with his thoughts before leaving the car.

Y/n unlocked the front door to his house walking inside before shutting and locking it behind him. Y/n took off the extra things he had like his shoes, jackets, and etc. Y/n walks through the house with a clear frustrated and angry face.

Conner stood from afar staring at Y/n with a puzzled look. He scanned Y/n. He saw how his heart was beating faster and also his blood pressure was high. Conner thought for a while before acting on his thoughts. He walked up from behind Y/n and hugged him from behind.

Conner saw how Y/n body had tensed up and relaxed. Before Y/n could say something Conner dragged Y/n's body to the couch before sitting him down on it. "Get comfortable." Conner says watching Y/n look at him with confusion, but does what he's told. Once Y/n was comfortable Conner began to slowly strip out of his clothes giving Y/n a show. Conner slowly begins to unbutton his shirt revealing his bare stomach and chest.

Conner rolls off the shirt with his shoulders before spreading open Y/n's legs open before crawling down in his lap. Y/n watches Conner's movements fully enchanted by him.

Conner kissed the side of Y/n's jaw peppering it with kisses before sucking and biting Y/n's neck that was revealed. Conner moved and grinned his hips on Y/n's crotch. Conner felt Y/n's members slowly grew under him. He moved his hips around until Y/n's cock was fully hard.

The android finally gets up from Y/n's lap before standing back on the floor unbuckling hid pants before slowly taking them off leaving him only him in his underwear.

Conner crawls back into Y/n's lap, but this time Y/n wraps his arms around his boyfriend with a smirk before pressing his lips into Conner's own kissing him deeply. Y/n moves his arms to the right swinging down Conner on the couch getting on top of him as they makeout. Y/n moves his hands off of Conner and moves them to his clothes taking off his shirt. Conner watches looking at Y/n with lust in his eyes.

Once Y/n's shirt was off he goes back down kissing and biting Conner's neck leaving love bites on his skin making them a light blue.

Conner wraps his legs around Y/n as Y/n grinds his clothed hard cock into Conner's clothed hole. Conner hard cock throbbed and ached as Y/n grinned on him.

Y/n felt his anger and frustration slowly drift away and be replaced by lust and pleasure. Conner's hands fumbled around the waistband of Y/n's underwear tugging and pulling on them clearing wanting the hard thing inside it.

Y/n pulled away from the android's neck before moving his hands to Conner's underwear pulling them off of him slowly as Conner unwraps his legs so Y/n can take them fully off. Conner's hard cock flies out once it's completely free.

To not leave his boyfriend behind Y/n takes off his own boxers with ease letting his hard member fly free.

Conner spreads his legs wider giving Y/n access to his body. Y/n moves his hand to his cock lining it up to Conner's hole. Y/n begins to slowly push his tip inside staring at his boyfriend for any sign of discomfort. Once Y/n's cock was inside half way he began to snap his hips back and forth at a fast pace.

Y/n's thrust was hard and deep no doubt some of the harshness is from the frustration he had at work. Y/n held Conner's wrist tight as he fucks him deep. "S-slow down! ss-slow down Y/n!"

Conner's walls clenching around Y/n's cock as he moans and screams from pleasure.Y/n begins to pick up his speed even more fucking the android ruthlessly.

Y/n's cock goes deeper and deeper inside Conner causing his led light to begin to flash colors. Conner's eyes couldn't even keep focus on Y/n anymore.

The android's legs shook and trembled from the rough thrust his boyfriend was doing. Conner's hands flared around as he tried to hold on to anything. Y/n rocked his hips deep inside.

Finally Conner found a place to keep his hands on. Right on Y/n's back holding onto him tight as well as some light scratches.

Y/n's cock began to twitch signalling to the android that he was close. Y/n picked up his thrust even faster hold down Conner's waist as he fucks him deep.

After a while Y/n hoist Conner off his back and to his lap fucking him messily. Thrust after thrust Y/n felt the knot in his stomach tighten. Y/n gripped onto Conner's hips as Conner wrapped his arms around Y/n's shoulders holding onto him tightening and moaning nonsense into his ear.

"Y-Y/n! Y/n!~ I'm i'm..." Conner couldn't even finish his sentence as he came hard all over himself and Y/n's chest. It wasn't the first time the android had an orgasm, but every time he does it feels new to him. Every time felt like a new experience that he loved. "h~ Hah... Happy birthday!~" Conner moans out his whole body feeling more and more sensitive with every thrust.

Not too shortly Y/n reaches his peak as well cumming deep inside Conner. The android desperately begins to ride Y/n's cock as he cums inside him. Conner bounces and bounces making sure Y/n has nothing left to give him. Y/n breathed heavy into the crook of Conner's neck calming down from his high. Conner felt full and he loved the feeling of Y/n's cum buried deep inside him.

Y/n wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist bringing him close cuddling him into his lap. Conner curls into Y/n's lap with his cock still buried deep inside.

"Happy birthday. Also Hank stopped by with cake for you to eat." Conner says into Y/n's ear.

"Perhaps I should sing you happy birthday?"

THE END

[starlightiing]

I saw you were sad about your writing before you deleted that post. Wanna tell us about some WIPs you have? 🥺 ❤️ 💙 💜

Thanks anon I appreciate you. I kinda want to throw all my WIPs in the trash actually ahaha but uh lemme gather my documents and see what I have...

Pierresteban:

1. Car Crash fic. Pierre gets in a horrific car accident while they're in Texas a week before the GP. He and Esteban had a nasty break up and quite literally only speak for work purposes. Pierre, however, forgot to update his emergency contact and Esteban got the call at 2am. Tired and annoyed, he brings himself to the hospital with his proof of identity, expecting to hear that Pierre was stupid and broke an arm or something. It's much worse.

2. Android AU - Pierre is a very high tech android, the first and only of his kind. He's incredibly hyper realistic, so much so that he managed to fool a doctor. However, when he's debuted to the investors, they're afraid of how realistic he is. They tell the devs to turn him off and put him away for now, but Pierre was built with self preservation and he knows that means death. He runs away from them and seeks refuge with one of the mechanics that works for the company that created him - Esteban Ocon. Chaos ensues. Esteban steals this multi million dollar android and runs away with him to save his life.

3. Jurassic World AU - Pierre works at the hatchery with baby dinos. He's a "veterinarian" in a sense, and he plays with/mothers the baby dinos and makes sure they are socialized and enriched and such before they're put in their enclosures. Esteban works park security and special operations. When the park goes down, a series of events leads them both to miss the evacuation boat and thanks to Esteban losing his heart monitor in the scuffle, his security team sees him "flatline" and they think he's dead, so no one is coming for them, either. Survival AU for the boys.

Landoscar:

1. Young Forever AU - this one is a bit odd, but it's a sort of "if you fall asleep you die" scenario, only its "if the music stops you die" - based on the line "the best of the drums keeps us alive" from the song Young Forever by The Ready Set - tying it into the beat of the drum being the beat of their hearts. If they're without music, they're without a beat, and therefore their heart stops. It sounds dumb. I promise it won't be. I'm still working out the kinks. It's going to be the strangest thing I ever write I think.

2. Soulmate AU - Don't want to go too far into this one, but Lando is a star that is humanized when he makes it to Earth. Yes, it sounds similar to the movie Stardust, no, it's actually not. Oscar has Lando's stardust inside of him, and so he literally lights up from his veins up to his heart when Lando touches him, because it's the stardust inside of him reacting to its host. Oscar has to help Lando figure out how to be human, they fall in love, there's issues, ect ect. Their bond is moldable. It's cute.

3. Flatliners AU - this one has a lot of pairings but the main focus is landoscar. Lando, Oscar, Pierre, Esteban, Alex, George, Charles, and Logan are med students in their residencies at the same hospital. Lando is focusing in neurology and has taken a special interest in "life after death" and what the brain does when the heart stops. He approaches his friends with a very casual, "I want you to stop my heart" to mixed reviews. Oscar's focus is cardiology and also he has the most sense out of them all so he highly protests such a stupid idea. Majority rules, though, unfortunately for him.

Lestappen / Galex / Landoscar / Pierresteban:

1. Angel AU - first part has been posted. Post apocalyptic world. Some humans started being born with genetic mutations: wings. Wings are worth a lot of money on the black market because the feathers have dust on them that are used for making hallucinogenic drugs. Humans are viciously hunting angels down to make a buck. A lot of underground bunkers from the apocalypse are commandeered by GOOD humans who set them up as sanctuaries to hide angels in. Alex Albon runs a sanctuary (he's also a doctor). Charles is his right hand man, and alongside Lewis, they lead raids and missions to find angels, save them, and take out hunters. Lots of subplots in this one, but it's a lot of fun. And a lot of pain.

Alex/Logan:

1. Soulmate AU that I have not decided on yet.

Yukierre:

1. Soulmate au with soulmarks. Featuring Pierre being rejected by his soulmate which causes the biggest downward depressive spiral when his soul make disappears and another doesn't manifest in its place. Lots of angst here. Yuki saves the day.

Charles/George:

1.Inception AU - this can also fall under Pierresteban and Landoscar. It is literally just the dumb boys in the universe of Inception, invading dreams and doing very illegal things while dressed up in very fancy expensive clothes. Also they have guns.

[fluffykiddosstuff]

Their opinion on face sitting (NSFW)

Warnings : sexuals content, face sitting, handjob and many mores

--------

Markus

- please just sit on this androids face, he would do anything to pleasure you.

- don't mind about sitting on yours but is kind of nervous because androids are heavier so he makes sure he doesn't put all his weight

- doesn't jerk off while eating you out tho, he will just grab your tights to focus to give you pleasure

- buuuut if it's you who is jerking him off then this poor man is gone

- his skin features probably peels off whenever your skin and his touch, even tho you can't interface it's a reflex for his body.

- if you can't stop moaning his name, he will overstimulate you until you can't cum anymore

- your first time while face sitting would be after the androids got their rights, he was still a leader but he had less on his shoulders to carry (except you wink wink)

-after the androids law being accorded he had took you to an hotel, the time he could get some paperworks done before going back to Carl but.. This night wasn't about papers at all

- you took him on the bed because he was stressing himself too much and before you could know it you were already making out in the bed and seconds after he make you sit on his face

- he said it was the better reward for being the android leader

Connor

- this poor Android doesn't understand the need to facesit, he took a while to understand that you wanted proper sex with him but if you don't say verbally that you want to sit on his face he will not initiate it at first

- when you finally said it, he makes researches whenever he can to understand what you mean by that, he tried to ask hank about it first to seem more human but when the poor old lieutenant cough so hard that he couldn't even breath he quickly got that it wasn't the best approach to get more informations

- once he collected enough data he would organize a date (I know androids can't eat but I saw a headcanon where they eat thirium food and I thought it was really cute), after the date would take you at a hotel

- "do whatever you want but not in my house kid" that's what hank said to Connor before he got to your date and after giving money for the hotel "it would be rude to take the people you date to their own house" he said patting connor's head

- once you got into the room you couldn't keep smiling and he took a room with petals on the bed forming a heart and tamised lights too

- first it was like usual, kissing, love words exetera, then he layed down on the bed after undressing you and you sat on his face

- God he didn't imagine how good it could felt for you, would maybe want to try it out but would'nt ask for it before some time

- this tongue isn't just to take samples ;)

- let's say that for the rest of the night you didn't slept

Ralph

- at first the poor boy didn't even knew what you were talking about

- sex? Face sitting? What's all of that?

- but once you explained everything calmly to him and that he got that it wasn't hurtful for any of you he accepted

- first you got to your house because doing that at the squat was.. Weird

- you just begin with little kisses on his face and scars but before you could see it, he rolled over and make you sit on his face after ripping whatever clothes was between his mouth and his goal

- you didn't knew a such precious being could be so wild but you didn't mind tho

- would ask if you could do the same for him because he wanted to know how could it feels since he saw how you were excited

- "Ralph likes y/n like this.. He wants to know how it feels too!"

- now it's one of Ralph's favorite activities to do with you

Hank

- you were dating with hank for a little while and you hesitated to ask him if you could practice facesitting and that he would say "Jesus y/n I'm too old for these things!"

- but when you actually asked him about it, it was an another story

- if you asked him in a public space he would murmur in your ear "tonight at my house, Connor will be at Markus place" or if you are both home and that Connor is gone for the day he would say : "c'mere" and start doing the job

- he is quite experienced, he was married after all

- you would probably have red tights because of the friction of his beard but you don't mind, he finds that quite erotic too

- don't ask him that he sits on your face tho, he doesn't like that

- one or two round is enough, after all he is human and old, yes he likes it but he doesn't want to get killed by you sitting on his face (even tho he says while laughing that it could be nice to die this way)

-since of his age, he can't do things like he could when he was in his 20's so facesitting is one of his favorite things because he knows that he can handle it and make you feel good at the same time

Gavin

-wow wow wow wow hold there a second

-what are you asking ?

-would'nt be for it at first maybe says things like "na it's for pussy's anyways i like my way of holding things better"

-buuuut if you insist..he would consider it

-but don't talk to anyone about this, no matter how much he loves you he's gonna kill you if you don't shut your mouth

-actually is pretty aroused when he ears you whimper on top of him, he could cum only from that

-but don't ever tease him about that because either he will make you sexually frustrated for who knows how long or would have to punish you somehow

-if one day, ONE SINGLE DAY, he let's you eat him while he is sitting on your face, told yourself your lucky

simon

-would be so glad that you ask him directly, to him that means a lot and plus it's a sign of affection so why not ?

-man he is so sweet please just praise him already

-wouldn't mind to try, but if he doesn't like it he will tell you

-would be scared when you start to tremble because of overstimulation, but once you reassure him that it's all about pleasure, he is glued to you for some time

-caresses and soft words are his love language so he will most likely caress your tights and anything that reaches his hands

-he looks at you like your some sort of divinity while having you on his face, please don't stop him

nines

-like connor pretty confused about anything sex-like (like he doesn't know yet how to initiate it), but he would get the little hints you give him

-doesn't ask anything to anyone, he doesn't need it, he is cyberlife most avanced android right ?

-many, too many researches (even at work or at night)

-he wants you to be bold with him and sincere so don't be afraid to tell him exactly what you want (if you come with a plan or a kamasutra to show him how is facesitting, would register everything in his cpu)

-wouldn't sit on you, he isn't comfortable with that yet ( at first he says that he is made to help humans and not to be pleased)

-would close his eyes during the "processus" likes he calls it,he is deviant but that serious part of him is what attracted him to you after all

- doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy it tho, every sounds, moves, spots and picture he register of you is in his cpu and whenever he is bored and want to try new things (like masturbation) or maybe just because he wants to see how marvelous you are, he will read those files

-would maybe try to tease you (i sais try, doesn't mean he is good at it) and would continue or not, depends on your reaction

-leaves marks and bruises on your legs and stomach

kamski

-FUCKING FINALLY

-he was waiting his whole life that you ask him for that

-prepared everything in advance

-if you put lingerie or anything sexy on, oh god have mercy he will not leave you for a while

-doesn't mind receive but likes more giving

-could keep on for hours, he can't get enough of you really

-he saw you as a masterpiece, so he is honored to as you on his face

-but before or after, would ask if he can take snapshots of you and both of you, he is the creator of androids but he like these old techniques and he thinks you both look like gods from ancient greece

-he keepts these snapshots on him every single time and when he as to go for something, brings them with him to remember how much fun you will both have when he gets home

-makes you a bath and ask chloe for diner,pampers you, don't want to leave you until you are asleep

[starsofang]

cod characters as detroit become human characters

soap as connor

- extremely skilled at what he does

- makes sarcastic/snarky comments towards people he doesn’t particularly like/trust, but can be very serious and sharp when doing a job/interrogation

- dedicated to his work, hence why he’s so good at it

- gets along with essentially everybody, but people end up letting him down/turning on him ): graves

- soap was the youngest to pass the sas selection, and connor was the first android to be created for police work :p

- very smart and knowledgeable, literally know SO much about everything, especially their jobs

- both rays of sunshines

ghost as luther

- it was hard picking who ghost would be, and at first i said hank. they’re both lieutenants, have lots of trauma ): and liked working alone until their partners came along

- but i also think he’s a lot like luther

- first off, big boys

- reserved personalities that make them appear off putting and cold at first, but once you realize that’s not all they are, they’re very kind people who just happen to be intimidating

- luther is very protective of his ‘family’, ghost is protective of 141, he’d very much die for them and kill for them

- history of abuse and mistreatment, they come from bad backgrounds that created who they are today

- gentle giants. i don’t like the trope that ghost is scary and mean, because he’s not outside of missions. in dbh, luther was made out to be the same way when all he wanted to do was protect kara and do his duty of being a guardian, and i feel ghost is very similar

gaz as markus

- natural born leader

- gaz is very selfless and wants better for the world, the same as markus

- well spoken and executes their voices very well

- extremely strong willed while also knowing how to keep their temper in check, they know how to do their job and do it well

- does what they have to do in order to guarantee the best outcome, even if it’s not always what they want to do

- they’re also very pretty to look at lmao

price as hank

- at first this didn’t really fit in my mind, but after some thinking, i think they’re pretty similar!

- both of ranking in their respective jobs

- experts at what they do, have been doing it for a long time and know how to lead their men in the ways they know best

- hank is a bit more of a grump than price is, but when they’re both angry (ex. price literally any time shepherd is around), they bring hell to whoever they’re angry at and don’t have the nicest things to say

- the world on their shoulders, they just need a nap man

- hank doesn’t show it as much, but they both have a lot of care in their hearts, especially for the people they work with and they’d do anything for them

- love their liquor after a job lmao

farah as kara

- selfless women who have been through so much

- both deserve better

- but because they’ve been through a lot, they’ve become strong both physically and mentally and use that trauma to their advantage

- will do anything to protect the ones they love, even if it means hurting themselves in the process

- farah is such a soft spoken person with high maturity and intelligence in the way she conveys her words, just like kara

- i literally love them to death, best characters in their respective games ):

graves as elijah

- can be manipulative as fuck lmao

- when they have an end goal for themselves, they do anything to achieve it, even if it means taking others down with them

- both can be perceived as complex characters that have good intentions and good moments, but also know that the reality is they’re rather selfish people who make decisions for themselves

- even the way they talk is similar at times !!

- many people who don’t truly know elijah trust him, just like graves, but only the people who they’ve hurt know the real side of them

- many people like them, while many people don’t, that’s how conflicting their characters are and it’s hard to pick a side

shepherd as amanda

- literally hate them both

- but really, they’re great characters that bring so much to the story and the way it progresses

- has lots of impact on the way the characters navigate themselves. amanda controls connor, while shepherd controls graves. it’s a very similar concept imo

- lots of knowledge and wisdom but uses it to manipulate things the way they want

- betray the very people they’re working with and supposed to guide, for their own selfish reasons

- both dead, technically lmao

replaying dbh for the sixth time and i was like !!! this might be a fun concept. to some it may not be entirely accurate, but i thought it was fun to dissect all the characters and see who fits who the most, and this is the way i see everybody 🙏🏻

[yamcha-thelonewolf]

🫀The Heart's Savior.

Today I want to discuss a fairly complex topic that I will have to divide into three parts. I do not know when I will publish the remaining two, but I will certainly try to be as quick as possible to complete it as soon as possible. Well, the title of this topic is clearly a pun. King Kai would probably love it, because as you can imagine the word "heart" is musically related to the word "earth." This creates a close connection between two terms that are absolutely linked in Dragon Ball. The point is that in our story we often talk about earth's saviors, which is normal since the goal is to save the planet at all costs. However, it seems to me that nowhere is it written that only muscles and ultra-powered energy balls are always needed to protect the earth. Sometimes the heroic gesture happens even beyond the battlefield, and it does not even have to be addressed to the whole world. It would be enough to help even one person, and that could make all the difference. From this point of view Yamcha has done a lot, but unfortunately his good deeds have always gone unnoticed or foolishly ignored. So today I will try to bring back to the forefront his personal heroism, which as far as I am concerned had its little best between the Androids Saga and the Cell Saga.

I will divide the three parts in a temporal sense. The first part will be about the past, the second part about the present, and the third part about the future, so that it will be very clear to everyone how Yamcha's contribution has seriously saved the whole arc of Dragon Ball.

So... Let's not waste any more time!

Are you ready, wolfpack? Let's get started!

PART 1: The Past.

In order to better understand all that will follow, it is good to specify once again what Yamcha's role in the story consists of: he is basically a support. This does not mean that his character automatically takes a back seat, but simply that his personality causes him to behave in a certain way, surely different from all the other warriors who immediately take the field. Many people laugh that Yamcha is a coward who prefers to shy away from battles, but that is not true. Yamcha is there. He has always been there, and no matter what, he has always tried in his own way to help.

Few people notice it, but I cannot help but realize how in these two arcs he has fought the most dangerous battle of all. No, guys, I am not joking or overestimating the character. Keep following me and you will understand better.

The chapter "The Past" is perhaps the one that most shows what I think, as well as the most important. Here we will talk about the one and only Goku, who has been part of Yamcha's life since the days when they were a child and a young boy respectively. You know, the one between Yamcha and Goku is a long-term friendship. Think of it, it is even longer lasting than the friendship between Kuririn and Goku, since he met the bald kid some time after meeting the desert bandit. I know that time is relative when it comes to relationships, but I only want to emphasize this precisely to point out how much more intertwined Yamcha and Goku's lives are than you might think. For this reason, Goku won the first chapter. It is a symbolic way of saying that Yamcha cannot help but give thanks to his past.

Let's go in order.

The Androids and Cell Saga is certainly one of the most fascinating and memorable. The plot is considerably more intricate, a historical enemy, the Red Ribbon Army, returns, and most importantly we have the full Z-Fighters for the entire duration of the story arc. What is most beautiful is that everyone, in one way or another, makes a contribution, even those thought to be "weaker". For example, Tenshinhan's intervention trying to stop Cell's second transformation from absorbing Android 18 is unforgettable.

But... what about Yamcha? It really seems that he did not do much in the battle, but that is not the case. Well, he certainly fought less than Piccolo and Vegeta, but that doesn't mean he helped less than the others. First of all, we must take into account an absolutely essential event that strongly influenced Yamcha's future actions: upon the arrival of androids 19 and 20 he was the first to risk death. No, I should correct myself: he almost died. Had it not been for the Senzu bean, he would surely have died within a very few minutes, and even if he eventually survived, that does not mean that Yamcha has forgotten the pain he felt from that horrid hand completely perforating his chest.

This is a a full-fledged trauma. Not only that, it is also an epiphany for him, because at that moment he realizes that he is unable to cope with two such terribly strong monsters. Think how discouraging it must have been for him to have to accept the fact that he was knocked out practically at the beginning. If we then want to add that all this coincides with the separation from Bulma, which he certainly did not take well, let us say that this period was not the best for his already fragile personality hidden behind his great charisma.

However, a little later something extraordinary happens. It is a scene that I personally find as moving as it is realistic, simply because Yamcha proves once again that he is the most human of all. Unfortunately, this scene is seen by everyone as Yamcha's usual ridiculous moment, but the truth is that this is where he demonstrates all his greatness. I'm talking about the time when Goku suddenly gets sick from the disease and someone necessarily has to accompany him home to start treatment. Gohan is the first to offer, of course he is his father and cannot do otherwise, but he is immediately stopped by Yamcha who offers to do it for him.

This is the first time ever that Yamcha puts aside the pride that has often made him tenderly cocky and admits in front of everyone that he is the weaker one. I would have many things to say about this consideration of him, because I strongly believe that his problem is precisely that he has come to hasty opinions of himself precisely because of his fragile personality, but I will not discuss that now. Here, an interesting point is that he calls it pathetic to stand aside, but he is very wrong. There is nothing pathetic about accepting one's limitations and giving way to someone more capable. It is also a very good strategy. If Gohan had left, the chances of others being defeated would have been much higher. Taking away a strong member of the team would have only made things worse, so it makes sense that it should have been the least strong person to leave. This to me is the most exemplary test of courage of all. In Dragon Ball we have always seen proud, swaggering characters constantly bragging about their strength, but few times have we seen someone take a step back because staying might have only gotten in the way. The hole in his uniform is the greatest demonstration of this. You can see that he is ashamed of it, that a silent anger simmers inside him and that all the frustration accumulated over those years has reached its peak, but boy, let's just say that in saying that he is more badass than those who do not accept being second best. That's why I say Yamcha is incredible. He is the only one who took a step backward, not knowing that by doing so he was able to go beyond. This is the way of life. At some point you stop running aimlessly, you look inside yourself, and you realize that in order to move forward you must also know how to go back. That's what Mr. Popo had told him to do, but he was too young and blustery to listen to him. And that's okay. He's a human, let's never forget that.

I could end here. Yamcha leaving the group and entrusting the mission to heroes stronger than himself, but this is where the fun begins.

Just before getting up in the air, Piccolo warns him that there may be a risk that Goku's illness may be viral. This means that Yamcha, being in close contact with the infected, risks contracting the virus as much as the saiyan did. Actually, it is not confirmed anywhere that the virus is contagious. Piccolo assumed this from Trunks' words when he explained to Goku what would happen in a few years.

We only know with certainty that senzu can do nothing against this disease and especially that not even a super saiyan can recover from this illness. Did you get it right? This means that an earthling is totally unable to survive this disease. I mean, if a saiyan has no chance, a human being is triply doomed. We are back to square one. Yamcha is risking his life again, and this time against an absolutely unbeatable enemy that has defeated even Goku. Do you understand? Goku. If there was a margin of possibility to beat the androids, in this case it is completely impossible. So by agreeing to help Goku, consequently Yamcha also agrees that he can surely die. But this time he is not backing down. This time he is sure of what he is doing, just because his greatest goal is not to survive and avoid death but to support in his own way. Coward, huh? From here it is clear how dying is not his problem at all. Or rather, it is, but it does not matter if it means helping the one he loves and, in this case, the one who could save the entire planet.

This is how Yamcha's true nature comes out. Actually it is possible to notice it long before, but this time it is practically evident. I imagine him constantly searching for his place in the world, but the truth is that he has already found it, he just hasn't realized it yet. He hasn't realized that his job on the team is precisely to take care of everyone, even more than a magic bean can. It is a shame that even the authors did not realize this aspect of him. What the hell... Seriously, did no one notice how heroic Yamcha was at this point in the story? He remains there with him, keeping vigil for his friend, and with great bravery faces a battle in which emotions are also at stake.

The scenes in which Chichi and Yamcha care for Goku are among the sweetest in all of Dragon Ball. Yamcha is not required to stay because Chichi is already in the house, but he once again makes himself available to help as much as he can. Notcing how Goku struggles in pain, Yamcha's strength may be needed to block the saiyan and prevent him from unintentionally hurting himself or Chichi. What's more, assuming a worsening of the disease, thanks to the ability of flight Yamcha could transport him anywhere else in no time.

In some ways, he is also taking care of Chichi. A wife who sees her husband in so much pain can never cope alone, she needs support, comfort, someone to tell her that everything will be all right, and Yamcha is absolutely perfect for this role.

No one else among the Z-Fighter would be able to instill serenity in Chichi as Yamcha does. His patient, friendly temperament, always ready to reassure anyone, has surely prevented her from any crisis or attack of fear. One can well see how Yamcha's sensitivity goes beyond fine words. His mental elasticity leads him to reason quickly about all possible eventualities, so without a second thought he even suggests that Chichi take the medicine with him. Yet more proof of how he really loves everyone.

For example, this is a scene that explains very well what I mean. We're talking about filler, but I don't care. Whoever decided to do them must have understood that Yamcha deserved more. It is only a small detail, but at least it is highlighted how Yamcha's presence was crucial for Chichi and Goku himself. Here we can see Goku once again being sick, so Yamcha warns Chichi to retrieve the medicine again, but when she rushes to look for it she cannot find it, perhaps because she is so panicked that she does not understand anything more for a few moments. Sensing her confusion, Yamcha turns toward her and in no time comes to her rescue, pointing her to the exact spot where the medicine is. She grabs it and so Goku can once again stop suffering. I like to think that Yamcha's sixth sense, or ultimately his well-developed spirit of observation, helped him easily memorize where the medicine was at that time. His cool-headedness, coupled with his gentleness, were definitely a staple in Goku and Chichi's most intimate and fragile moment.

He also does so during the Cell Game, and this time together with another great character who deserves equally: Tenshinhan. This is one of my favorite scenes. Two great friends of Goku, initially villains and then both reformed to become his allies, stand before Goku when he is in trouble, to protect him from the Cell Juniors. It doesn't really matter that they are not strong enough to defend him forever, but just being there for him, acting as his human barrier, is one of the best moments. When I say that they could create a lot of good content for Earthlings, I am also referring to these kinds of scenes. It would be nice if they could recapture the atmosphere of this arc, where everyone lends a hand and everyone fights in their own way, even if they don't necessarily win.

Well… I know I've said as much as I know I could still say as much. I would just like to point out something. Doesn't it also seem to you that Yamcha is a bit like a guardian angel for Goku? Pay attention to that. Yamcha took care of Goku at the very time when he was most vulnerable. This shows how he has always been that big brother to him who has always watched over him. He took care of his heart at a time when not even a senzu could help him feel better, and going back to the past… He took care of Goku even in his most unconscious state, which is when he transforms into the Great Ape. The first time, being the only one who realized that his weak point was his tail, he had managed to stop him by cutting it off with Puar's help. But it is when Goku transforms for the second time that Yamcha shows off all his love for his friend, running up to Jackie Chun to stop him from hurling the kamehameha at the monster.

In the end, the moon was the target, but Yamcha and the others certainly could not have imagined that. I find it extremely emotional to see him desperate and ready to even hurt himself in order to prevent the death of his little friend.

As you can see, protecting Goku has always been part of Yamcha's instinct, and it is a pity that many have forgotten or ignored it. He is the character who most of all is moved by love, in every possible sense.

Therefore, while someone else gets the title of Earth's Savior, Yamcha absolutely wins that of Heart's Savior.

He's not pathetic. He's a true hero.

Well thank you, guys, for getting this far, whoever did it. Stay tuned for the other two parts of this topic and remember to never stop loving this beautiful wolf!