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#he insults her and causes her to have to come to work while she's taking care of baby rachel and she TRIPWIRES HIS OFFICE ENTRANCE
nyan-bynary · 1 year
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Season 5 is so fun bc house is the most autisticest gremlin on this god's green earth and then FINALLY cuddy has decided she wants to meet him at his level, unleashing the second most chaotic being that poor hospital's ever seen
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koenigami · 7 months
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➵ WRIOTHESLEY
synopsis : sometimes all it takes is a little push from a little melusine wc : 1,3k tags : fem!reader, fluff, comfort, reader and wrio had an argument
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“He’s in a bad mood.” “Did something happen?” “Was it an inmate?” “She left the fortress in a haste.” “Someone heard them arguing. She looked hysterical.” “Oh-oh. A fight?” “Shit, not again.”
The respect that Wriothesley earns himself stems from different kinds of people and different kinds of emotions. Some of them look up to him and his generosity while others are easily intimidated solely by his presence. Usually, the latter ones simply have not had the chance yet to get to know the Duke better. Otherwise they would realise that behind that cool and brutish exterior lies just a guy who likes order and tea. 
However, there is one specific circumstance that will have even Sigewinne lower her head when passing by his Grace’s office. 
“Do you know what they were arguing about?” The little Melusine has been asking around for a while now, looking for eyewitnesses, and writing down every piece of information as if she was solving a scandalous case. She knows very well that as rough as he may seem, Wriothesley is only human. A human madly, truly in love with none other than Fontaine’s top attorney with whom the Fortress of Meropide is in constant correspondence due to work related matters. 
Sigewinne nervously bites the top of her pen as she returns to her infirmary. The taste of plastic makes her grimace in disgust and look at the writing utensil with annoyance as if it had insulted her. She sighs.
It’s been a week since you hurried out of Wriothesley’s office, furiously stomping towards the elevator and staring down everyone and anyone who dared to cross your path. One week worth of missing documents that have not been sent in by you. One week worth of paperwork that has yet to be completed by Wriothesley. (Which is oddly ironic since that man has not left his office ever since your argument.)
Love will make the sanest person go mad, whether it’s in a good or a bad way. And so all Sigewinne can do right now is think about a way to make the both of you come back to your senses. But how? It’s not like either you or Wriothesley are at her beck and call, and will simply meet up just because she asked you so. Despite the emotional agony that you’re going through right now, you’re both way too stubborn for that.
Agony.
Unless…
~
“Where is he?!” Your voice echoes through the hall as you rush into Sigewinne’s infirmary. That was fast, she thinks. 
She almost feels a little bad when she notices the glimmer in your eyes and your laboured breathing. It’s for everyone’s sake, she reminds herself. 
“He should get here soon.” 
“B-But Neuvilette told me-” A poisoned tea. Those were the news that the Iudex had apparently received from one of the Melusines, and forwarded them to you. You don’t know all the details. You left your office as soon as you got to know that Wriothesley was currently unconscious due to a prisoner who had spiked his afternoon tea. 
Now you’re here, but he’s not and it’s making you even more agitated. “Sigewinne, where is he? Is he alright? Are you hiding something from me?”
“Y/n?” At first you feel his hands all over you before you even get to see him. Wriothesley delicately holds your head, turning it left and right before his hands move to your arms and then lower to your own hands. They’re shaking the slightest bit as he holds them up to his lips, pressing sweet kisses along your fingertips. His blood boils and he clenches his jaw at the simple thought of some low lives being the cause of your current state. 
It’s your turn to inspect him from head to toe now. His hair is a mess, all dishevelled while his pale skin makes you fear that he might just topple over any second. Your body moves before you know it, as you push him towards one of the few beds in the infirmary. “Wriothesley, shouldn’t you be in bed? When did you even wake up?” 
Wake… up? 
“Do you know if the potion will have any long term effects on you?” Despite having him right in front of you, obviously well and not on his deathbed, your heart still feels like it is about to burst from your ribcage. As soon as the news had reached you, you dropped everything. Any documents that you had to write and read through, any meetings with clients and other employees of the Palais Mermonia- 
None of them mattered anymore. All of a sudden, everything seemed so insignificant when there was the uncertainty if you’d ever be able to hear Wriothesley’s voice. Hear him sigh in tiredness before humming with the delight at the taste of his freshly brewed tea.
The simple thought of the possibility of him never waking up again, depriving you from the chance to get another glimpse of his breathtaking eyes. It was enough to get your tear ducts working and your eyes pricking as you hurried to see him as soon as possible.
“Archons, you should really lie down. You don’t look-”
Your mouth falls silent, because you can almost hear the screeching sound of the turning clockworks inside Wriothesley’s brain. It ends up worrying you even more. 
He scrutinises you, lets his gaze travel around the room only to notice that you’re alone now. Only you two. No Sigewinne. 
Sigewinne…
“You have not been attacked today, have you?” Deep blue eyes inspect your body again. Just to make sure, even though he more or less knows that all of this has to be a scheme. 
“No one robbed you? No treasure hoarders, right?” 
He watches your eyes widen, brows furrow before you shake your head. Of course. 
Why else would you believe that he’s comatose? Why else would he believe that you’ve been beaten to a pulp, and robbed off your most precious belongings? Why if not because of Sigewinne? 
“What’s wrong?” You ask cautiously, and you notice now too that one person is missing. 
And it’s only when Wriothesley explains to you that, in fact, there has never been tea nor poison, or at least not any kind of combination of those two. He has never been unconscious, and neither have you been hurt. But what did happen was that the both of you have been led on. Deceived.
And that by none other than the head nurse herself. 
“I can’t believe she pulled off something like that. You looked so awful, I actually thought you were sick.”
“Love, that’s because I was worried sick!” Wriothesley exclaims and exhales a huge breath when you bury your face in the crook of his neck. His arms open and instinctively wrap around you, fingers digging into your hips. And it feels good. So, so good because it’s been way too many days since you’ve held each other like this. 
And, god damn, did he miss it. 
A thought crosses his mind. How your last interaction had been a silly argument. Petty remarks and poisonous words spewed at each other, induced by nothing else but your egos. 
All of it is so insignificant now that you both are in each other’s embrace, and that you’re both fine and unharmed. 
So Wriothesley promises himself to apologise to you later, inhale your scent, brush his fingers through your hair all while showing you how much the few days that you have been apart affected him. Because none of those things should be taken for granted. Because another day with you is not promised but his love for you is.
But first. You both have a bone to pick with a certain Melusine. 
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"What's wrong?" Robin asks, bumping her arm against his as she joins him leaning against the counter, staring out the front door of Family Video.
Steve doesn't bother to lie. Robin would know, she always does. "I'm not sure wrong is the right word, but it's, it's something."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Yeah," he says, taking a quick glance around. It's just after 11pm on Saturday. They've got another hour of work before they can officially close, but Hawkins closes down at 9. The store is empty currently, and since they're facing the door, they'll know if someone comes in. "I just don't know- I don't-"
"Gather your words. Speak when you're ready. I'm not going anywhere," Robin says, and it speaks volumes that she didn't call him dingus. Steve's never upset by the nickname, not really, but sometimes, when the conversation is heavy, he can't deal with nicknames. Especially not ones that are meant teasingly now but started as an insult.
"I feel- I feel ungrateful and, like, selfish, because I'm... I'm not happy with Eddie," Steve says, then immediately frowns because that's not right. It's not wrong, either, but it's. "I'm not unhappy with Eddie. I love him. I love him so much, Robin."
"I know you do. It's disgusting."
"And I got into this relationship knowing what Eddie's like. I love him 'cause of those things, not in spite of-"
"You don't have to convince me you love him."
"Right. Right. It's just. It's like, I thought, I don't know, that I wouldn't have to always be the guy?" Steve says, and it's followed by such a long pause that he looks over. It startles a laugh out of him at how much Robin looks like him right now. Confused, brow furrowed and mouth slightly open. That's his perplexed expression, and it's mirrored on Robin's face now.
Well. Not now because he laughed so she's glaring at him.
"Sorry. It was like looking into a mirror for a moment there."
She wrinkles her nose at him and says, "What do you mean 'always be the guy'?"
He lets out a sigh. "I just mean- Eddie's the first guy I've ever dated. And there was, like, unwritten rules when dating girls. Don't give me that face, I already know the rant about straights and their het-ro-norman-whatever-"
"Heteronormativity."
"Yes, that. I know it's bad, working on unlearning it, etcetera, etcetera. Can I just get through this using the words I do have?"
"Yes. Sorry."
He waves off her apology and continues, "So, the unwritten but absolute rules of straight dating. The guy asks. The guy plans the date. He pays, if it's something that requires money. He gets the door, offers his jacket if it's cold, gives the flowers and chocolates on Valentines Day and- sorry. The guy does all that. I do all that. And I just. I want to not, not have to?"
Robin's eyes soften and she gives a sad smile. "Eddie doesn't do those things?"
Steve frowns. "Not- he's done some of those things but it's not... It's never been romantic. Never felt... intentionally romantic. Which is why I feel so ungrateful and selfish. 'Cause Eddie's not a romantic. Not like I am. And I shouldn't expect him to be!"
She frowns. "But you don't expect him to be."
"I mean, yeah. I don't. Which just makes this worse, right? Because Eddie tries. In his own way. And I'm still..."
"What does Eddie do to try?"
"He loans me jackets when I'm cold. And it's- it's like a throwback to the upside down. He'll fold it all nice and then throw it at me full force. Like with the battle vest," Steve smiles at the memory, despite his sour mood.
"That doesn't sound very romantic. That sounds like an inside joke. He could do that same thing while not dating you and it wouldn't be weird."
"Can't an inside joke be romantic?"
Robin nods as she turns, back to the counter so she can hop up on it. "Can be. And I guess if you find get pelted in the face by jackets romantic, that's your kink."
"Why do I talk to you?" Steve groans, and Robin shrugs. "Anyway, I guess I just... I want to be the one taken care of, sometimes, but not just when- God, I'm so selfish, aren't I?" He paces away from the counter, running a hand through his hair.
Eddie's a good boyfriend. He listens when Steve rambles about sports and stats, asking questions and actually engages in conversation. He takes care of Steve when a migraine leaves him all but useless; gets him his meds and water and combs his fingers through Steve's hair softly until it lulls Steve to sleep. Eddie pays attention enough to know the little things about Steve that he doesn't say out loud.
"Not just when?" Robin prompts, and Steve realizes he quit talking.
"Not just when I'm hurt. I want doors held for me, and for him to plan a romantic night, either out or in! And I- I want him to give me his jacket by wrapping it around my shoulders like I do for him."
"I'm going to say something, and you aren't allowed to be upset by it."
Steve nods.
"You have to tell him. Eddie's not gonna know you want these things unless you say so."
He nods again, because he knows that. He does. It's just... "I got with him knowing he wasn't a romantic person. I don't want- I don't know how to say it without making it sound like I want him to change. Or make him feel like he's not enough, or that he's a bad boyfriend for not having done this and-"
"Steve! Jesus, now who's the mirror? It's Eddie. He loves you. He'll listen. Even as you fumble your way through an explanation. A conversation is not the make or break of this relationship."
Steve swallows even though it feels like there's stones piling up in his stomach. A single conversation broke his last relationship, but Eddie's not Nancy.
"Yeah. You're right. I think I'm just... I'm afraid of making Eddie feel that same way Nancy made me feel, when she called us bullshit. I was blinded-sided by it all and I don't, I can't do that to Eddie."
"You won't. 'Cause this situation is different. You love Eddie, and Eddie loves you, and that's real and true. I think it would hurt Eddie more to think there's this whole other category of shit he could be doing for you, but isn't, 'cause he doesn't even know you'd like it, much less want it."
Steve nods as she speaks. It's all true, and he feels less like there are stones in his stomach. "Thanks, Bobbin. I don't- I might give it a few days before I talk to Eddie about it, but I will."
"You better, dingus," she hopes off the counter and looks at the clock, groaning when she sees it's still not midnight. "Think Keith will kill us if we close early?"
"No way. He'd have to cover all our shifts until he can hire replacements. We're too valuable to him to die."
-
@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @skepsiss @afewproblems
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lotomber · 8 months
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Hear me owwwwt pm! Dazai with a teen mom reader (17 or 18?) and he became a an AMAZING stepfather but when bio dad comes demanding custody he insults dazai for only being the stepdad and not the bio dad….(I think dazai would beat the shit out of him lmaooo) BUT ALSO he decides to put a baby in YOU just to show everyone his sperm is better.
Dazai with a teen single mom!
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T/W: Nsfw, explicit content, Teen mom Reader!(18y/o), Pm! Dazai, Shitty ex!, teenage pregnancy, rough sex, piv, semi public sex, voyeurism, breeding kink, creampie, mentions of murder, not proof read!
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It was hard being a single mother moreover when you were a teenager. Your boyfriend went MIA when you told him you were pregnant. You met Dazai when you were working part time and he was instantly drawn to you, something about you mesmerized him. It didn't took him long to befriend you and how could he leave you alone when you told him about how you work alone to take care of your toddler? He instantly offered to help you, you hesitated at first but contrary to your worries he was a loving partner and an amazing father to your daughter 'Hana'. He spoils her rotten, buys her tons of clothes and toys (afterall mafia pays him well), makes sure to pick her up from playschool when you are busy, and he just loves to play with her. One thing he really loved about Hana was the fact that she absolutely resembled you not her shitty father. At first it just started with his simple interest in you but as he spend more time with you and Hana he would desperately wish that you three could be a family forever, something he never thought he could have. And how could you not fall for him when he always did more than you could have ever asked for?
But all shit fell down when your ex came back crawling demanding custody of your daughter. You told him that your daughter only has one father and that is Dazai. But he just scornfully told Dazai that he was just being a stupid cuckold cause he's not even biologically her father and no matter what he will just remain a stranger. You were distraught by his shamelessness but you trusted Dazai when he told you he would handle this.
"Aah Sa-Samu slow down" But you didn't knew it would involve you bending over table in his office while his cock mercilessly pumps in and out of your tight cunt. How did you even get in this situation?
After dropping off Hana at playschool you got a call from Dazai asking you to come at his office. You thought it was weird cause he never really called you to his office. But as soon as you reached there he just bended you over his table, lifting your skirt to your waist while sliding your panties down to your knees. He pushes his whole length with one thrust filling you to the brink. You moan sharply and gasp for breathe as his pace does not falter.
"F-fuck donna you're so tight, so pretty f'me, just f'me." he grunts. You scratch the mahogany trying to gain some stability as the pleasure was overwhelming you. You try to muffle your voice but of course Dazai's didn't liked it so gave he gave a particular hard thrust making you scream.
"S-shit bella, so warm and tight, you want my seed right? I'm gonna knock you up full of my seeds!" you couldn't even comprehend what he was saying at this point anymore as you feel the familiar knot in your stomach and with a few more rough thrusts you came all over him.
"You like it bella don't you? I'm sure hana would also like a little sibling hmm right?." He grunts as there was a weird thumping noise from the back closet in the office. He increased his pace ramming more harshly than before as room is filled with the Squelching noises of your pussy and his wet balls. You feel him twitching as he shoot thick ropes of cum inside you. You gasp from the overstimulation as he keeps pumping his cock making sure you take his load well and it doesn't spill out.
All while you were unknown to the fact that your ex was stuffed in the back closet of Dazai's office. Before calling you over to his office he tied and gagged him, stuffing him in the closet. Why? Of course because dazai had to show your ex who you belonged to and that you will bear his children for him. He made him listen all this on purpose to remind him of his place before disposing him from this world.
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Tags: @mberxo, @xxcandlelightxx
A/n: anyone who wants to join my taglist can send in an ask!
This supposed to be a drabble but it came out longer than expected anyways hope you enjoy it nonie! <;3
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mypoisonedvine · 2 years
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𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘧𝘶𝘭 || joel miller x reader
𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 || joel wasn't looking for a follower, or a protégé, or an employee— whatever you're supposed to be— when he saved some dumbass kid from a couple runners. but he ended up with you anyways, and you swore to always be faithful to him... in every way.
𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 || 9.2k
𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 || smut (18+ only; oral f receiving, unprotected sex, very slight dacryphilia kinda?, a touch of degradation and dumbification in there, and virginity loss with some pain and one mention of blood), heavy age gap (not specified but the reader is absolutely an adult), insecure crybaby reader, unrequited love/pining, reader wants to fuck joel so bad it makes her look stupid (and we love that for her cause same), angst, tess getting kinda screwed over but only because it's absolutely necessary for the plot, emotionally repressed joel, mention of reader's parents being deceased (implied to be infected)
this fic does not contain spoilers for anything but minor details from episode one!
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They were doing that thing again— where they talked in front of you, as if you weren’t there.
“So we make the run tonight,” Tess decided, standing while Joel sat on the worn-out sofa with his hands clasped and his elbows resting on his knees.  “We should be back by four, that’s when the FEDRA boys have their shift change, so we can avoid too much risk of getting caught.”
“What should I do?” you piped up.  They both looked at you with that oh yeah, she’s here glare and Tess sighed; she didn’t try very hard to hide her frustration with you, but at the same time, she was actually nice to you when she was in a good mood (which was rare).  Joel was less mean but also less nice— he stayed steady in his neutral-to-mildly-irritated state, and you figured if he wanted you to fuck off, he would’ve said so (probably in those exact words, too).
At the same time, they both instructed you flatly: “Keep watch.”
You sighed, shoulders sinking.  “Again?  Can’t I at least—?”
“You’re safer here,” Joel insisted.
“Yeah, and your gun is safer in the box under the bed, but it’s not gonna do shit to protect you if you never take it out,” you countered.
Tess scoffed.  “And what are you gonna do to protect us?”
“I wasn’t,” you admitted.  “You know I’m a great shot, but I wasn’t gonna try to shoot anybody.  I’m quieter than both of you.  I can get in and out better— and nobody’s looking for me.  Everybody knows you’re smuggling—”
“Not everybody,” Joel defended himself in a mumble.
“ — so if I do get caught, I can probably get out of a search,” you bargained.
“And what are you gonna do to get out of a search?” Tess smirked.  “Bat your eyelashes?”
That did sting, but you rolled your eyes and hoped you had effectively looked like it didn’t affect you at all.  “If implying that I’m pretty enough to get out of a search is supposed to be an insult, I can’t wait to hear one of your compliments, Tess,” you replied— but your voice was soft and almost shaky, not as confident as the comeback merited.  That summarized you pretty well: you had the will to be tough, but when it was time to really go for it, your body failed you and your hands got shaky and your eyes watered.  Almost anything could make you cry, Tess had already made fun of you for it; Joel just seemed to get really uncomfortable when you started crying, but you always did your best to hide it from him.  It just didn’t usually work.
Your whole face probably lit up when you caught Joel’s suppressed smile— did he think your joke was funny?  He hadn’t been smiling when Tess made fun of you, so it had to be what you said— or maybe he was thinking of something he would say if he cared enough to say it, some comment about how you could do more than that to get out of being searched.  He didn’t seem the type to make comments like that, but he was well aware what guards might let (or make) a girl do to avoid punishment.
“Whatever,” Tess decided, shaking her head, “you’re not coming with us, that’s the point.”
“Joel gets a say, too!” you blurted out.  “You can’t just pick for him that I’m not coming, he has to—”
“You’ll stay here,” he interrupted.  So much for getting Joel to let you go— you thought maybe he would side with you, for once.  Deflating, you nodded, and they stopped paying attention to you at the same time that you stopped paying attention to them.
Your mind wandered in times like this, when they were talking and it was clear that it didn’t concern you; Tess said once that you had an ‘overactive imagination’, but she hadn’t said it in a really mean way (like she said most things).  You didn’t want Joel to think that you were always daydreaming, but you couldn’t help it sometimes— you really just hoped that he didn’t know he was the subject of so many of your thoughts.
Truth was, he’d caught your eye long before he even knew you existed.  You’d seen him around, doing all those odd jobs he did to make ends meet, and thought he was… well, handsome, but not just that.  Mysterious.  Intimidating, though he didn’t exactly intimidate you— okay, he did, but not like he did everybody else.  He intimidated others because they were afraid he would hurt them; he intimidated you because you kind of wanted him to hurt you.  Not, you know, bad, just… maybe a hand around the neck or pinning you to a wall or something?
It wasn’t in spite of your inexperience that you had thoughts like that— it was because of it; you had been lonely for a long, long time, and maybe it was just fantasy, but you always wanted someone like Joel.  You wanted someone to take care of you, protect you.  You were just guessing that he was capable of that, but he proved it when you met for the first time.
It wasn’t exactly a meet-cute, or even just a pleasant way to meet; you were short on rations, because you’d given most of yours away to Mrs. Davis who was too old and weak now to earn any extra for herself, and someone offered to pay you ten if you snuck something they could sell out of the old mall in the QZ… well, that went about as poorly as anyone would’ve expected.
You asked Joel what he was doing there, after he’d saved you from the runners, but he refused to tell you.  Either way, it was the best luck you ever had that he showed up and fought them off.  For a moment, he’d held you close to him as he pulled you away from the Infected; you wished, later, that you hadn’t been too terrified to appreciate that.
Ever since, you’d sworn yourself to him— in more ways than one, but he only knew about the main one: you wanted to assist him however you could, figuring after he saved your life that you should dedicate it to his service.  Well, Joel had never been interested in your assistance, or anything else about you.  It was actually Tess' idea to let you stay: "if she wants to help, let her do it for free," she whispered to Joel, and he shrugged, and he did.  That was how it ended up like this: you were the squeaky, wobbly third wheel of Joel and Tess’ operation, more often than not doing the least important work if not filling your time with essentially goose-chase tasks they invented to keep you occupied.  Keep watch and listen to the radio were your biggest assignments; just wait here was another common one, when they were too lazy to call it one of the other two.
Tess left a little while later, and Joel laid down on the sofa.  You broke away from your thoughts and tried to make yourself useful— you got up to rinse the dishes, humming a random tune to yourself as you worked.  You were already back inside your head, wondering if you should tell Joel it was a song you’d heard on his radio and had stuck in your head ever since.  Probably not worth it; it usually didn’t go well when you tried to talk about things like that.  Joel and Tess talked about before a lot— well, it wasn't that often, because it wasn't very productive to talk about it.  But they talked about it occasionally and you never had anything to say.  Once, you tried to weigh in: they were reminiscing on concerts before the outbreak, bands and artists they remembered, and you chirped about how "I read about that in a book once!"
They both glared at you, and you didn't say anything else.  But you didn’t take it too personally, they just didn’t want to feel old— but you didn’t think either of them were old!  These days, old wasn’t a matter of years, it was really just about usefulness— like poor Mrs. Davis, she was old, she couldn’t do much for herself anymore— and they were both… actually, they were both significantly more useful than you.  That made you sad.  But at least Joel had helped you get better with guns— not that he ever let you carry one. 
“I didn’t ask you to do that,” Joel broke the silence as you washed his favorite mug.
“I know,” you said back, voice light and chipper.  “You don’t have to.”
You felt his eyes linger on you for a moment after that, but he didn’t say anything else.
~
Though they had decided already that you weren’t joining them on the run, you ended up there— mostly by happenstance— when Joel and Tess met with the buyer who wanted half of what they managed to bring back.  Not many people in the QZ could afford that kind of contraband, so it made sense that it was one of the FEDRA soldier’s bankrolling this.  They were by no means rich, but they had a lot of pull and could provide all sorts of ration cards and promises to look the other way if future issues arose.  He couldn’t guarantee safe movement out and back in through the boundaries of the city, but he at least promised to look the other way in any future run-ins with the law.
“So that’s it: you’ll leave at eleven, you’re back by four, and you bring me my share the next day during my break?” the soldier confirmed.
“Yep,” Tess agreed.  “Quick and painless.  Hopefully.”
You didn’t expect the man’s eyes to land on you, but you didn’t particularly care for it.  "Is your little lap dog coming, too?" he smirked, glancing at Joel after he was finished raking his stare over you.
Your face got hot instantly, with shame and confusion.  "I— I'm not in his lap," you denied, "that's not— we don't—"
“No,” Joel interrupted firmly, “she’s not coming.”
There was an awkward silence, the place where he might’ve said and she’s not my lap dog, if he cared much about the accusation.  Tess seemed to be hanging onto that silence nearly as tightly as you were.
“Whatever,” the soldier finally brought everyone’s attention back to the conversation, “just meet me here tomorrow at half past one, and we’ll see what you’ve got.”
You were still thinking about that conversation that night— while you were keeping watch, like Joel had asked you to.  It was really boring; you spent most of the time on the couch, reading a book you’d bought off someone for a few rations.  After a while, your curiosity got the better of you, and you started snooping around Joel’s apartment.  There wasn’t much to look at… he didn’t own much, just a few shirts— actually, you thought those jeans he always wore might be his only pair…
Your search led you to his bed.  Even with no one here to see you do it, you were a little embarrassed to lean in and take a whiff of his pillow— but it was totally worth it.  It smelled just like him, that warm piney kind of scent he had; in times like this, not many people could afford to smell nice, but Joel could.  Not to say that he was the type to splurge on all the nicest stuff, you were pretty sure he didn’t even own cologne, but he owned shampoo and deodorant, so that put him in the 80th percentile for hygiene in the Boston QZ.
But it wasn’t just those products you smelled on his sheets— there was something quintessentially Joel to it all, something impossible to define but incredibly addictive.  It was instinctual, the way you got in his bed and curled up in those sheets, burying yourself in the comfort of him.  It was so easy to imagine how he might hold you, now that you were here— all you were missing was his strength, his weight, slow and steady breaths behind you as he drifted to sleep…
You woke up when you heard the door shut.  Startled into sitting up, you were hoping you’d have time to get out of his bed before he saw you— but he was already standing there, staring at you.  He was just a shape in the dark, so you couldn’t see his face, but you heard the exasperated sigh.
“I thought I told you to sleep on the couch,” he said.
“R-right, sorry,” you coughed, recalling last time this happened with a pained wince.
“Better yet, I thought I told you to keep watch!”
“You know you just say that,” you mumbled, “so you can keep me away from the real work.”
He didn’t say anything, probably because he knew you were right— but even if he’d wanted to, he couldn’t, because Tess walked in a second later.  “Can’t believe he tried to stiff us,” she was saying as she walked in, half-laughing in frustration.  “Well, yeah I can,” she added a second later.
Her attitude changed when she saw you in the bed.  “I— I’ll go back to my—” you started, but you ended up just getting up and leaving in a hurry before you could really finish your thought.
Wiping a small tear from under your eye quickly, you walked out of Joel’s apartment and started for your own bunk across the city— even though it was more likely than not that somebody would hassle you for walking around during curfew.
Yes, if you had a little more self-respect, you would just stop hanging around those two and find some other work to do, but Joel had done something for you that you could never repay and never forget.  He didn’t have to love you the way you loved him— and you’d been sure for a while that he never would— but couldn’t he at least be a little nicer?  You wouldn’t feel right being anywhere but at his side, no matter how much he made it seem like he never wanted you there at all.
~
Honestly, you did consider not going back the next morning— but you figured they might actually need you for the next part.  Okay, not need, but they could at least use you for something: after smuggling anything in, you need a fence, someone to pawn this stuff off.  Joel and Tess did a decent job of keeping a low profile, but it was even easier to do so when they had someone like you moving contraband around Boston’s population.
So, after a few hours of sleep on that radically uncomfortable cot, you decided to head back to Joel’s place.  The sun was just above the horizon by this time, but only the people working early shifts for their rations were up now; you liked the city best when it was quiet like this, but then again, you liked almost everything better quiet.
Usually, Joel’s apartment was the same way.  But when you walked in, the energy was completely different than you were used to.  Where you’d normally find Tess counting up the score while Joel sipped on coffee (or liquor, depending most on the hour), instead you walked in on what was clearly a lover’s quarrel.
The thing was, this was not your typical argument— they were doing it Joel and Tess style, which is to say, as repressed as possible.  In fact, they weren’t even talking when you walked in, but just the way they were standing was indicative of the discomfort they were clearly trying not to acknowledge.
Tess was at the window, arms crossed, looking at the view; and you knew that was a bad sign, because there was no view to be had, the QZ was an eyesore and she complained about it all the time.  Joel was sitting at the table, facing the other way, his hand squeezing his own fist instead of the handle of his mug— it didn’t look injured, but his face still had a hint of pain on it.
“I’m sorry—” you mumbled, not sure what you were apologizing for yet, but Tess interrupted you.
“I’ll go,” she decided, walking over to the table.
“Okay,” Joel agreed, not looking at her.
Well, you were no relationship expert, and you didn’t even know what they were arguing about… but you knew that was pretty cold.  “So that’s all you’re gonna say to me?” Tess prompted him, her tone tight and her eyes red.
You kept your head low, as if that would hide the fact that you could clearly see and hear all this.  
“Yeah,” Joel decided, not as aloof as usual; it reminded you of how he usually spoke to you, that frustration, but it was definitely different.  More… exhausted.  “Yeah, it is.”
Tess put her weight predominantly on one leg, her hips shifting, as she let out a scoffing sort of breath.  For a moment, she looked at you; you looked back at her shyly from beneath your brows before looking away.  Why would she look at me right now?
Shaking her head, she left, mumbling to herself but you couldn’t make it out.  The door slammed behind her.  Joel sighed next.
“Everything okay?” you asked sheepishly, twisting your boot on the floor to watch the shapes it made in the thin layer of dust.
“Clearly,” he insisted, and the sarcasm was obvious though his voice was neutral.  You could tell he didn’t want you to prod more— anyone who knew Joel for two minutes would know that— but you still chewed your lip as you wondered what you should do.
Your attention turned to the stacks of contraband on the table; most of it was perfectly legal material to own, just not legal to acquire from outside the city’s perimeter.  “Looks like a good haul this time,” you noticed, hoping a change of subject would soothe him a little.  Maybe it did, but he didn’t show it.  He just kept squeezing his fist, and you gently sat down across from him at the table— and you started doing what you figured you should, going through what they’d brought back and starting to figure how much you could get for it.
For a while, he entertained that conversation, though with as short of responses as possible.  Not even a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, just hums and grunts that got the point across.  You could tell he was thinking, but you could also tell he didn’t want to be— that he’d rather forget about all that.  For once, he was struggling to do that.
It scared you to imagine doing something he so obviously didn’t want you to do, but you knew you couldn’t ignore it forever.  “What made her so upset?” you asked softly, finally.
He paused for so long that you thought he was just ignoring your question, but he did eventually say something.  “She told me something I wasn’t ready to hear,” he answered, “and… and I guess I said the wrong thing.”
“What did you say?”
“Actually, I didn’t say anything,” he admitted with a thin laugh.  “But, I said nothing in the wrong way.”
"... Do you think she'll come back?" you pressed, and his sigh was answer enough.
You had to wonder if he'd make you a real partner in all this now.  Probably not, right?  He thought so little of you before, that wouldn't change just because Tess was out.
“I’m sorry,” you decided.
“It’s not your fault,” he promised.  “It was me.”
You didn’t press on that, already thankful and pleasantly surprised by how much he’d shared.  He stood up a moment later, leaving the table and moving to the kitchenette so he could make some coffee; oddly, that comforted you.  Like things were going to go forward now, like life could be normal again and he would still drink his coffee.
For a while, it was quiet— just how you liked it, and how you figured he liked it, too.  He was humming a song at one point but you didn’t think he realized he was doing it.
It was so quiet, in fact, that when you went to lay on the sofa later, you ended up accidentally dozing off.  You couldn’t say how long you were asleep— you were pretty underslept, but it didn’t feel like more than an hour— just that you were awoken to the sound of movement in the kitchen area.
Sitting up, you tilted your head when you saw Joel had begun packing up the contraband haul— well, half of it.  “What are you—?” you began to ask, but then you saw the time, and you remembered; but he answered you anyways.
“Our buyer’s on his break now,” Joel announced as he stuffed a pack of bandages into his bag.  “I said I would meet him to show him what we got.”
“I can go with you!” you announced.  “You know, if Tess isn’t—”
“It’s fine,” he insisted, “I can do it myself.”
“Joel, please,” you pressed, “I promise I’ll do whatever you need me to, I just wanna help—”
“I need you to stay here,” he frowned.
Some things never change, huh?  “Why don’t you just let me go?  Let me help you?” you whimpered, lip shaking as you started to cry.  You hated yourself for it, but you knew you couldn’t stop it.
There was a pause before he responded.  “I don’t like the way he looks at you,” Joel explained, but you doubted that was the real reason he didn’t want you to come.  “It only takes one of us, you’re better off here.”
“Tess was gonna go!” you reminded him, getting more upset.  "I know I'm not…" you trailed off as you tried not to cry too much or too loudly.  "I can't do what she can— I'm not strong…"
He sighed as he knelt down in front of you, resting his hand on your knee.  You peeked out from behind your fingers, but looked down again.
"I'm not— I'm not smart, either," you whimpered.  "I don't know anything, about before, about now—"
"That's not true," he mumbled, but you weren't finished yet.
"Nobody knows why you even keep me around, I sure don't," you shrugged, dropping your hands defeatedly, hot tears running faster down your face and dripping onto your pants; his hand reached up and wiped your cheeks with a gentleness you never knew he had.  “M’not… I’m not tough, like you guys…”
"You know what you are, little girl?" he replied quietly.  "You're good.  You're sweet.  Me an' Tess, we need someone like you to keep us from bein' sad old assholes all the time…"
He sighed, and you thought was done talking, until he spoke again, softer.
"I need someone like you."
Your heart swelled, and light filled your chest, until you had just enough confidence to finally blurt out what you'd been holding in for months: "Joel, you should know that I always—"
"Shh," he soothed, nodding.  "I know."
Your face got hot instantly again, and your heart sank.  "I think everybody knows," you mumbled awkwardly, giving him a half-smile through the drying tears.  "But I thought— it's just that you never—"
“I couldn’t,” he insisted.  “You understand that?  I couldn’t, not with you—”
“Why not?” you snapped.  “Why can’t you?”
“If you don’t know why, you’re more hopeless than I thought,” he frowned.
“I know— I know I’m… a lot younger than you…” you mumbled, almost not wanting to say it in case he actually hadn’t noticed that.  “I know you think I’m not very mature and stuff… but that shouldn’t matter when you really love someone—”
“Woah, hey,” he coughed, “love?  Sweetheart, you’ve got a crush—”
“No!  Don’t tell me how I feel,” you snapped, surprising both of you with your sudden ability to stand up to him.  “You can tell me what to do but not what to feel.”
“Okay,” he softened up, “fine.  That’s fair.  But it’ll pass—”
"I've never loved anybody before," you whimpered, "and I'm never gonna love anybody like I love you.  I know that!  I know you think I'm just a stupid kid who doesn't understand love, but I know that I really love you!  Okay?  So just… just stop talking!  Doesn’t need to take this long for you to reject me, geez…”
There was a pregnant pause, you were too caught up in your own frustration to really notice it: the way he looked to the side, chewing on the inside of his cheek for a moment.  You weren’t expecting him to say anything after that, so it nearly startled you when he spoke.  “It was last night, after you left,” he explained.  “I— I thought about telling you to come back, figured you’d be safer on the couch than walking back across the city at that time…”
Wrapping your arms around your chest, you smiled a little imagining that, but you knew you couldn’t have taken him up on that offer: it would’ve killed you, trying to sleep on that sofa while Joel and Tess shared the bed.
“She told me not to,” Joel continued.  “That’s… that’s how it started, I guess…”
“That girl’s so obsessed with you,” Tess laughed lightly, toying with Joel’s lapel.  “It’s cute, really.  I mean, it’s sad— but it’s cute.”
“Hm,” Joel said first, not really listening— it took him a second to properly react.  “Why is it sad?” he asked when her words processed completely.
“‘Cause she thinks she might actually have a chance,” Tess explained.
That was it, what he did wrong; he sees it now, in retrospect, but at the time he figured saying nothing was his safest bet.  Apparently, he didn’t have to say anything.
“Shit,” Tess said suddenly, moving instantly from shock to anger.  “Are you fucking serious?”
“What?” Joel spat.
“You know fucking what,” she returned sharply.  “That look— you looked away.”
“Okay?  So?” Joel tried to defend himself, but he knew that she knew now— believe it or not, he really wasn’t much of a liar.  Especially with her.
“She’s a goddamn fetus, Joel,” Tess reminded him.  “She hasn’t seen a hundredth of the shit we’ve seen, she hasn’t lost anyone—”
“Lost her parents,” Joel corrected.
“Well, we all lose our parents,” Tess rolled her eyes, “that’s part of life.”
Not the way she lost them, Joel wanted to add, but he was going back to his original plan of saying nothing.
“She’s not like us,” Tess insisted.
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Joel decided.
That was the point of no return; because Tess had never thought of you as competition, she barely even thought of you at all, but if innocence was something he wanted… then the competition was already over before it even started.  The silence was heavy, more sad than angry, and Joel knew he really fucked up because he’d never really seen Tess speechless before.  Is it bad that he didn’t regret it, though?  Maybe he could’ve handled things better, but telling her the truth couldn’t be wrong.  It’s not like he’d been hiding it, really— he never even acknowledged it himself, not often.
“I can’t believe you,” she shook her head, and shame twisted in his gut.  “Part of me always— not always, I guess, but part of me wondered.  Sometimes the way you looked at her…”
As she trailed off, Joel looked down, too afraid for her to look in his eyes now.
“You’d do anything to keep her safe,” she said instead of finishing that last thought.  “I told myself you didn’t look at me like that because you knew I could protect myself.”
“I do,” he promised.
“So what do you want?” she asked point-blank.  “Something you can protect, or something you don’t have to?”
“And what did you say?” you asked hurriedly.
“I told her what I wanted,” was all he replied, and your heart skipped.  “And that’s… that’s why she left.”
Joel nodded slightly, looking away.  But you reached out and touched his face, turning it back towards you.  Impulsively, you leaned forward and kissed him; it took all the courage you had, and a hand on his shoulder for balance, but you felt him kiss you back after a moment.  It was gentle, for how sudden it was, and you sighed as his hand moved higher up your leg.  
You were still crying, because of course you were, but he didn’t mind as much as you’d worried: he only wiped your tears away, holding onto your face, standing up and pulling you with him.
“I love you,” you whispered as he embraced you, wanting to say it a thousand times now that it wasn’t the worst-kept secret in Boston.  “I love you, Joel—”
“I know,” he promised, whispering back into the kiss which got deeper with each passing moment.  “I know, darlin’.”
That was enough for you— that was plenty: the way he kissed you, and held you, calling you darlin’ in that rough-yet-gentle voice… you were weak already, melting into his touch, ready to give him anything.
In fact, he had to put a hand on your shoulder and gently push you away to get you to calm down, and your face heated up as you realized how eager you’d been.  “Don’t need to get so worked up, m’gonna take care of you now, okay?”
“You always take care of me,” you noticed.
“A different way,” he explained.
Just the way those brown eyes darkened, just the way he said that made your thighs clench against each other.  “Y-you’ll miss the meeting with the buyer,” you realized.
“Fuck,” Joel grumbled, and you smiled a bit.  “Waited this long and now I’ve gotta fuckin’ leave you again.”
Your hand rested on his chest, the soft flannel of his shirt transmitting some of the warmth of his body, and you looked up with him with wide, wet eyes.
“I know you hate waitin’ here, but… I always liked it,” he admitted, his voice softer yet deeper.  “I always liked knowing you were here, waiting for me…”
Your heart swelled.  “Y-yeah— I didn’t mind waiting for you so much,” you admitted in return, “just didn’t want you to think that’s all I was good for.”
He kissed your temple, making your chest flood with warmth.  “I know,” he promised.  “You’ll be here when I get back, won’tcha?  Can’t disappear on me now.”
“I won’t, I’ll be here,” you assured, turning your face to peck his cheek in return.  It seemed to surprise him, like he hadn’t had tenderness of that sort in a long time.
~
Funny how you’d waited for him all night before, but that half hour felt longer than all of them combined.  You were quite sure you knew what he meant before— about how he would take care of you in a different way— and it put you on edge all afternoon.
You couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d kissed you, about his hands pulling you closer.  Or his eyes: if he’d ever looked at you like that before, you hadn’t noticed (which was probably what he intended).  
For how much time you spent wondering what you would do, what you would say, when he returned, you ended up not doing much of either: he was on you the moment he stepped in the door, though that was sort of what you’d been betting on when you decided to strip down to just your underwear and wait for him like that.  Not that you minded the idea of him, you know, tearing your clothes off like one of those romance novels— you just didn’t like the idea of having to wait any longer than you already had and this shirt had way too many buttons.
He did take a moment to stare you down when he came back, to appreciate your nakedness, and despite imagining showing yourself to him many times before, you felt a little self-conscious with his eyes just piercing through you like that: you didn’t cover yourself, ignoring a slight instinct to do so, but you did wrap your arms over your stomach and cross your legs as you sat on his bed.
Waiting for him to say something— or, possibly, waiting for yourself to find some courage to speak— you were a little taken aback when he grabbed you and kissed you.  And you realized, as his lips moved with yours even harder, deeper, needier than before, that there was nothing else to say.
He climbed on top of you on that bed, laid you down on it gently, as his weight pressed you down into the mattress.  You could've sworn you heard him growl when he rocked his hips against yours, a firm bulge in his jeans pressing right up to where heat had gathered between your legs.
Fingers weaving in his hair, you hummed as you did all you could to keep him close, as if he might just disappear if you didn’t hold him near to you.  But he didn’t seem like much of a flight risk, considering his tight grip on you— so tight it could leave marks, which you hoped it would.  You needed more than just memories of this.
“Tell me this is what you want,” he demanded, his voice breathless yet somehow not weak at all.  “Need to know you want this.”
“Fuck, Joel, f’course,” you promised— wasn’t it obvious?  It probably was.  But you could understand if he was still fighting back some guilt; you just wanted to do everything you could to help him forget about that.  “So bad,” you continued, “for so long…”
“Since I saved you?” he assumed, his teeth grazing your lip like a threat to bite down harder— a threat that made you throb from the inside out.
“Before,” you admitted, smiling sheepishly.  
“Didn’t even know me before,” he noticed, raising an eyebrow.
“Saw you around sometimes—” god, am I blushing as hard as it feels like I am? — “thought maybe you could… you know…”
Protect me.  Hold me.  Take care of me.  And fuck me like the world is ending even though it already did.
He smirked at you proudly, leaning in to kiss your neck this time, following some invisible trail that made you even more sensitive to the touch of his lips; after he kissed right under your ear, he whispered to you.
“Then just go ahead and take what you want, darlin’.”
After a shiver ran over you, so strong you thought it might never end, your hands shot down between you so you could get to work on his belt and fly; you felt his smile against your skin, then his teeth a moment later, as his hand rubbed the curve of your waist gently.
Both of you gasped when your fingers wrapped gently around his cock, for different reasons.  The skin was so smooth, it was hard to believe something this soft and silky was part of Joel— and it was hot, or maybe your fingers were just cold, but you hoped that didn't bother him.
He was already starting to move his hips just a bit, rocking into your touch, and you hummed when he suddenly grabbed your hand to force it to press firmer against himself.  "You thought about touchin' me like this before?" he asked in a voice that was breathy and low— you loved hearing the pleasure in his voice.
"Y-yeah," you admitted shyly; when he let your hand go, your touch wandered, your hands sliding up under the bottom of his shirt so you could feel the skin there— the firm muscle, the thin scars, the graying hairs that formed a trail down his stomach…
Grabbing your wrists, he pinned them down above your head, and you let out a joyful whine.  "Keep those there," he ordered, and you nodded as you watched him intently.
His hands traced down your body, making shivers run all over your skin; how could a man with so much strength touch you so delicately?
He purred as his fingers ran down to your panties, toying with the edge of the fabric before carefully pulling them down your legs.  You tried not to wiggle too much, but your hips were desperate for some friction, for some attention from him— they didn't have to wait long, though.  He groaned at the sight as he parted your legs, grabbing himself to rub his fat head through your folds.  "Fuck," he mumbled, your channel clenching on nothing as you saw how far apart his tip forced your swollen lips, "so wet for me already, bet I'll slide right in…"
Your back arched with a moan just imagining that, and he pushed your stomach down flat with his free hand so you wouldn't angle too far away from him, laying his body atop yours.  Though you tried to stay still, you couldn’t stop shaking as he lined himself up; it felt surreal, it felt hyperreal— his skin against yours was unlike anything you could’ve imagined.
You’d sort of wondered if he’d say something before he put it in, maybe a quick you ready? or even here it comes which would’ve been stupid but an appreciated warning nonetheless.  Instead, he just looked at your face carefully, and pushed inside.  It was sudden, sharp; your whole body tensed up and you sucked in a breath before biting your lip.
He only made it halfway in, struggling against how tight you were.  You were doing everything you could not to give away your pain, but he must've seen it in your expression.
"What's wrong?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.  "I'm hurting you…"
"No— Joel, please don't stop—"
You wrapped your legs around his hips to try to keep him inside, but he pulled out most of the way and looked down— and you winced when he saw the blood.  "Baby, you… are you— is this your—?  Fuck, why didn't you say something?"
"You wouldn't have done it with me if you knew it was my first time," you explained with a whimper.
"No, baby— I just would've taken my time with you, s'all," he sighed, "would've helped you— sweetie, it didn't need to hurt like that…"
Clutching tighter at his shirt, you pulled him down into a needy kiss. "Hurt me more, Joel," you pleaded into it with a breathy whisper, "do whatever you want to me.  I'm yours— that's all I want, just to be yours."
He kissed you back, slow but passionate; but, much to your dismay, he pulled out and sat up.
"No, Joel, I'm sorry," you whined, "I'm sorry— I didn't mean to lie, I'm so sorry, I promise I can be good!  M'gonna be really good for you!"
But he just shook his head, and you bit your quivering lip as tears ran down your temples.  He smiled, just a little.  "Such a crybaby," he scolded you softly.  "What am I gonna do with you, little girl?  You can't even keep yourself together."
He leaned down again, but he slid his knees down on the bed so he could position his face between your legs.  He kissed your inner thigh first, and you jumped because it tickled.
Then he held your hips, running his thumbs over your skin soothingly, and you tried not to squirm too much as he looked up at you with those dark eyes— much darker than before.  “You want me to taste you?” he asked, like it was your idea or something.
“Uh, yeah,” you mumbled sheepishly, and he actually laughed for a moment.  
“Yeah?” he repeated.  “Could you be a little more specific?”
Oh— he wants me to beg.  “Um— please?  Taste me, Joel…”
He smiled, but not like a haha funny smile or an oh that’s nice smile— a really dirty kind of smile, even though his teeth were actually in better condition than most out here.  “Okay, baby,” he agreed.
He was subtle about it at first, just giving gentle kisses all around; you felt… exposed, even more than you had with his face between your legs before.
“Is that alright?” he asked, his voice rougher than the last time you heard it.
“Y-yeah,” you choked, clearing your throat.  “Don’t… don’t stop, please…”
When he got back to it, he was much more aggressive— long, slow licks between your lips, sloppy kisses with his eyes shut tight; and you whined as you held on tighter to the sheets.  You didn’t realize how hard you were shaking until his grip on your thighs was bruisingly tight.  And as he held you down, he just dug in deeper: every time you thought he’d stop escalating the intensity of it all, he just did it more— he just did everything more— until you couldn’t control your moans and gasps anymore.
His tongue was the fucking devil; he slid it inside you and your eyes rolled back.  He sucked greedily on your clit until your hips bucked uncontrollably, moaning against your skin just enough that you could hear it over your own shameless cries.
"Joel, fuck, how are you—?  Oh god—"
"Mm?" he encouraged you to finish your thought without breaking away from you.
"How does that feel so good?" you sobbed.  "Oh my god— please don't stop, never stop, oh fuck!"
All he was doing was flicking his tongue over your bud, such a small interaction with a tiny little organ, and your whole body was shaking.  Reaching down and grabbing his hair, you didn't mean to tug on it so hard but you also didn't expect him to moan deeply when you did.  
His mouth moved a little higher, focusing on the bud you were sure had never been this swollen or this sensitive.  Doing so freed your opening, and one of his thick fingers prodded at it.  "Please," you panted, wanting any part of him to be inside you again.
He pushed it in, the roughness of his skin creating the perfect friction on your delicate walls.  You were waiting to feel his knuckle against you, but instead he only put it in maybe halfway, not very far at all.  It didn’t make much sense to you, until he started to rub one place just inside and a gasp instantly inflated your chest.
“Oh—” you choked, and he was licking harder on your clit at the same time that he added a second finger; you’d never felt anything like it before.  “Joel!” you squealed, hating how girlish it sounded but helpless to the control he had over your body with just two fingers and his tongue.
His rhythm wasn’t all that fast but it was relentless, the exact tempo you needed for that pleasure to build and build, toes curling and vision getting all spotty— you tried to look down at him sometimes, but your head wanted so badly to tilt back and let everything go black.
“I— oh, fuck— I’m gonna— fuck, Joel!” you sobbed, grabbing on tighter to his hair; you took one glimpse at it, and when you saw the scattered silver hairs peeking out from between your fingers, it just made you even more overwhelmed.
He hummed and looked up at you, encouraging you— his fingers pumped faster and faster suddenly, and when it hit, you felt like your whole body was going numb.  It started where he was touching you, but then a moment later it was in your head, then it was just running all over and you were too weak to do anything but give into it.
Suddenly it became too much, and the hand that had been holding him down by his hair was suddenly pushing him away; you blinked away the spots in your vision to catch a glimpse of him with that beard soaked in you, but his fingers hadn’t stopped yet.  “Oh… ohhh my god…” you whined, breathing harder than you could ever remember breathing before, your head getting all dizzy and cloudy as he smirked up at you and continued fucking you with his hand.
Your hole was pulsing, flexing over and over, waves of slick leaking out until you could feel the puddle spreading under you.  Your cheeks burned with humiliation, even though he kept praising you as his fingers milked everything from your swollen spot.  "Good girl, good girl," he said over and over, "fuck, good job, soak the sheets, baby— soak my fingers, keep going…"
"Joel," you sobbed, desperate for some relief from the overwhelming sensation.  He didn't really stop, just slowed down a lot, but he kept twisting his fingers and rubbing that one place until your quivering body collapsed completely onto his mattress.  And then he went on for just a little bit longer after that.
Then he stopped.  When you thought you might fucking pass out.
He climbed up your body and brought his two soaked fingers to your slack lips.  
"You want a taste, too, baby?" he purred.
You dutifully opened your mouth and did your best to clean his fingers off, sucking and licking as he hummed a bit; his eyes got a little darker as he felt your tongue run all over his rough fingers.
"What do you think?" he prompted when he pulled his fingers away, and you swallowed as you made a little face.
"I dunno if I like it," you admitted nervously.  "Kinda sour."
"Really?  I think your pussy's fuckin' delicious."
Your face flushed, but you didn't say anything else because he was reaching down to hold his cock again— and your heart started racing.
"Ready to do this the right way?" he prompted, and you nodded eagerly.  "S'gonna feel so much better, now you're all ready for me.  Ready for something this big inside ya— but it might still sting at first, okay?  Just hold onto me tight."
That you did, tighter than you thought you could— apparently you were stronger than you realized, especially considering that orgasm nearly took you out a minute ago.  But you had to hold on that tight as he began to push that fat head inside you, stretching you so wide before he'd even gotten the ridge of it past your opening.  It didn't sting like before, or at least not as much, but it was still completely overwhelming.  You forgot to breathe until he was halfway in: you gasped out his name, reminding yourself he was inside you and above you and everywhere, everything.
"See how much— fuck— how much easier it is now?" he grunted, sliding into you slowly until his hips met yours.  "See how you're takin' all'a me?  God damn, still tight as hell, though."
You were delirious already, he hadn't even moved yet.  You didn't think it could get much better than his mouth on you, than coming because of him, but this?  This perfect stretch, this addictive friction, knowing he was completely inside you and that he liked how you felt?  This was ecstasy, bliss.  And he hadn't even fucking moved yet.
"Gonna have a hard time being gentle with you now," he admitted with a growl beside your ear.  "You've got one of those perfect little pussies that just needs to be fucked hard— suckin' me in, just beggin' for it rough and fast."
"Joel," you whined, "fuck me however you want, please… I can take it, I swear, I want you so bad…"
Still, when he moved, it was slow and patient.  Too goddamn slow.
"Fuck," you sobbed, back arching up off the bed as he carefully savored every detail of you.  "Fuck, Joel, I can't— I can't believe you're— I can't believe it's you.  I wanted you so much I couldn't fucking breathe."
He smiled at you, and leaned in to kiss your neck; you let out what could only be described as a joyful whimper.  “Wanted you too,” he finally admitted.  “Tried not to, you’re so young… jus’ couldn’t help it after a while.”
"Faster," you whined, "please, fuck, please please—"
"You are so goddamn spoiled, you know that?" Joel grunted— but then he did it, he fucked you even faster than you'd imagined.  His thrusts were still deep and long, but they came at you quicker than you could process and you nearly screamed.  
You were even more sensitive after he’d made you come the first time; it was just overwhelming, the feeling of him, and you felt like your mind had left your body— like your mind had left you entirely.
“Y’feel fuckin’ perfect, darlin’,” he praised lowly, kissing your neck with all the gentleness and patience his thrusts lacked.  “So good for me.”
Maybe it was pathetic, but being good for him felt fucking amazing— not just physically, obviously.  It felt like having a purpose; you’d never really felt that before.
You lost track of time; honestly, you lost track of everything.  Everything that wasn’t this had fallen away, and it was just you holding on for dear life as Joel wrecked you all over again with every motion.  "Hear that?  How wet you are for me?" he groaned, and yes, there was a squishy-wet sound that filled the room with each thrust.  You tried to answer him, say something witty about how he made you that wet so many times, but only moans came when you opened your mouth.  "I asked you a question," he reminded you.  "Can you fuckin' hear it?"
Whimpering, you could only bite your lip and nod.
"Oh," he smiled, "I see— you get stupid with cock in you, huh?  Get fucked right and that silly brain just turns off?"
You nodded again— wasn’t much else for you to do.
"Just gonna be a dumb whore for me now?" he asked.  "Just kidding, I know you already were."
“Fuck— Joel—” you choked.
"No no, it's okay— it's good,” he soothed you, kissing a tear from your temple that you hadn’t even realized was there.  “You don't need to think.  I don't need you to think.  You can just be my fucktoy, okay?  You can just be my slut.  Say it."
"I-I'm your slut, Joel…"
He hummed appreciatively; your moan caught in your throat, and you tried to hide your face in his shoulder— you couldn’t believe he was still dressed, for all you knew he still had his boots on, and meanwhile you were stripped of everything.  Not just your clothes: you were stripped of all pretense (didn’t need it) and dignity (didn’t want it).  You’d thought of yourself as his for quite some time now, but now that he’d really made you his, it was more than you could’ve imagined.
When you came with him inside you, it wasn’t like how it was before— definitely similar, obviously the same thing at the core of it, but very different.  Before it was so… sudden, like a firework going off and then glittering into darkness (at least, that was how you understood fireworks to be, you’d only ever had them explained to you).  This was more like a deep pressure that just built and built and built, and then at some point you’d crossed that threshold and you were there but it didn’t go away, it just stayed at the peak while he kept moving inside you.
He grunted as your walls beared down on him, watching the tears of ecstasy stream down your face.  “Tryin’ to milk my cock, huh?” he accused with a snarl to his tone.  “S’that what you want?”
You weren’t really paying attention, you couldn’t while he was fucking you like that.  Digging your fingers into his shoulders through the flannel shirt, you just whimpered and nodded.
“S’workin’, baby,” he smiled, “little pussy’s got me so tight— is it a little too much, honey?  You’re cryin’...”
“I— I always cry,” you sniffled.
“M’not gonna make you take too much more,” he promised, “doin’ so good honey— gonna let you rest soon—”
“No, d-don’t stop,” you begged, and he laughed a little.
“I’m close,” he explained, and even though that should’ve been obvious, it made you feel better.  “Normally takes me a little longer, but… never had a pussy like this.”
That was probably just flattery, but you were happy to believe it.  Happy enough to just lay back and let that pleasure wash over you, but of course, he expected more of you than that.
"Tell me where I can come," he ordered.  
"Fuck, Joel— anywhere you want, anywhere," you pleaded, struggling to keep your train of thought but desperate to appease him as best you could.
"Inside you?" he pressed.
"Yeah, fuck, anywhere," you insisted.
"I bet that's what you want— you want it inside.  You want this cunt full and dripping."
“Fuck— yeah,” you agreed, “s’what I want— please, please—”
“Shh, don’t need to beg,” he assured sweetly, kissing your neck again— burying his face in the crook of your shoulder, until his panting breaths echoed on your skin.  “Don’t need to beg, darlin’, gonna fill you nice and deep—”
“Please,” you said again, ignoring his assurances.
“Just like you need it—”
“Please, Joel— love you so much,” you sobbed, your thighs starting to go a little numb where his jeans were rubbing against them and your clit getting sore from the way he stayed deep inside and grinded himself against you.
“I know,” he promised again, “jus’ say it one more time.”
“I love you, Joel,” you cried, and it was over somewhat suddenly: he stayed still, and you could feel his grip on you tighten, and you heard that sound that was like a groan and a sigh at the same time.  You’d hoped you’d be able to really feel it inside you, the warmth of his come, but everything was so hot that it was all the same— what you did feel was full, even more than you had just from his cock in you, and it was enough to make you clutch at his shoulders again despite having almost no energy left in you.
Though he stayed inside for a little while after, he did eventually have to pull out; you were too exhausted to even think about trying to close your legs when he stared down at you— at his come leaking slowly from your hole.
You knew there would need to be a conversation soon about what this all meant— what should happen now with the business, with your relationship, even just what should happen tomorrow morning since you’d both given in to instinct rather than take the safer route and have Joel pull out…
But that would have to wait; you still couldn’t think straight, you couldn’t think about anything but him in fact.
Thankfully, Joel was just fine with the silence.  He just held you, let you wander between sleep and wakefulness, and wiped that last stray tear away from your face.
“I’m sorry I keep crying,” you offered quietly, breaking a long silence.
“I don’t mind,” he promised.
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tusswrites · 1 month
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In Every Lifetime, We'll Be Together Part 1
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Pairing: Mingyu x Female Reader Genre: Angst (Fluff comes in Part 2 onIy I am sorry) Word Count: 2742 words Summary: Mingyu has reached the peak in his career, reveling in fame and luxury. Just when he thinks he's had it all, he's slowly losing you Warnings: This is kinda heavy ngl. It's not both of their faults. Life happens. Authors Note: Not proofread. If you see any errors, no you didn't. I feed on comments and reblogs would help me quite a lot! The she's and you's get mixed up. A loot!Part 2 at the end.
Master List is here
One year Ago
"Why did you have to embarrass me Y/n?." She visibly recoiled.
"What do you mean?"
Wasn't he the one who invited her over for dinner with the guys?.
" I told you the boys were loud and teasing each other is our love language!". Just because they call me a thot or a slut, it's not an insult, you don't have to get insulted by it. Why bring in your political propaganda into this Y/n? This is just how we talk. She looked straight ahead, afraid that if she were to look at him even once, she'd burst into tears. Mingyu rarely got angry but these days everything seemed to irk him some way or other and it was up to her and solely her since they had reached that point in their relationship were they were entirely comfortable around each other, to cheer him up.
But lately it seems that she is the problem and although no one would believe it, (their resident puppy doll cheerful boy seems to have problems with his high school sweetheart, the love of his life?) she couldn't figure out for the life of her, what she was doing wrong. Whenever he pulls up in front of the door, she is screaming out an "In here" and coaxing him to the kitchen with the aroma of her stews, when he is upset, she's the first one to get the memo from his tense body language and on a mission to get the bath running and send him off gently to the shower. When he is happy, she's the recipient of his one in a million bear hugs that engulf her and twirls them both around and hurls her into the air, often times leading her to get a one- too- many concussions since Mingyu keeps forgetting his strength and how tall he really is. When Mingyu needs advise he rushes to her, because he loves her sage words of wisdom- his words not hers. 'You really get me Y/nie'. He would tell her after their long hours of him ranting and her offering some words in between.
And yet for all their synced up hearts, she couldn't understand what was causing Mingyu to be this worked up over a small dinner.
Wasn't he the one complaining how his hyungs were always teasing him? And wasn't he the one who was always complaining that she was never defending him enough? 'You are my girlfriend, you are supposed to take my side!' Didn't she do exactly what he was always whining she never did? "Cheollie hyung looked pretty upset and even Woozi hyung seemed tense at the atmosphere you created." "We're all men and this is how we joke, you don't have to be so sensitive over such words. Moreover you are younger than Cheollie hyung, you had no right to correct him, I have known him far longer than you have and it was quite obvious that he was embarrassed-"
Mingyu's voice kept buzzing in your ears and she did want to listen but the hurt in her heart seemed to get heavier. All that for defending her boyfriend? She didn't want to argue over something so trivial, this was not her, if Mingyu wanted an apology, heck if the whole world wanted an apology she was ready to do it right now. Earnestly, she looked up at Mingyu and with all the firmness she could muster- " I am sorry Mingyu. I will apologize to Seungcheol oppa and Woozi oppa. In fact, I will do it right now. Why don't I call them while you take a hot shower? You seemed pretty tired today Mingoo." And with a small smile, you leave the room to get the hot bath ready for him.
Of course you miss the hurt on Mingyu's face. If you were to see it, you wouldn't know what you did this time.
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" We need to talk." Your heart sunk along with the flowers in your hand.
That darned dinner had only changed things for the worse, now even his band mates seemed to hate you. You had called to apologize to Cheollie oppa but it seems like that incident never happened. "It's alright y/nie, I knew it was a joke and you were defending your boyfriend , why would I be upset about that?
" But Mingyu told me you looked hurt and I -"
That was apparently the wrong word to use since one of two actions happened simultaneously.
One, a defensive Seungcheol on the phone vehemently disagreeing that he was upset over a small quip( she knew that tone. It's the tone used by men everywhere when they wanted to argue that their feelings could be never be hurt by something so trivial) "You must be out of your mind if you think that could hurt me-"
Two - a vexed out Mingyu who had entered the room quietly, frowning at her. Oh right she had brought Mingyu into this mess unknowingly.
As she stood in front of the florist waiting for the bus home, she had simply glanced at her phone to check for the time. Those three words had shocked her into dropping the neatly arranged bouquet and just as luck would have it, the moment she decides to bend down and retrieve her flowers is the moment the bus arrived, and promptly leaves.
With a quiet sigh, she decides to walk home.
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Mingyu opens to see her in a flurried state, wispy strands of hair glued to her forehead by the perspiration rolling down like beads. Your outfit looked crumpled and you seemed to be panting? Before he could even utter a word, you thrusted a bouquet into his hands and ran for the bathroom. "In a minute" You scramble past him and slam the bedroom door right before he could come even contemplate coming over to you. "Typical y/n" he sighed.
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"It's just that I believe a relationship should consist of two people in the same wavelength and lately, I don't think we stand on the same page Y/n. I have my dreams and you don't care." As the final word escapes him he sees your body flinch as if he had done more than that. She was still not looking at him and unlike the usual, he is not reaching over to tip her chin up to maintain eye contact. Probably for the best he thinks. This way the break will be easier. " I know we promised we would be each others ride or die but you don't aspire Y/n." This is the life I have always dared to dream of- the glam the luxury. We have been hustling for 8 years and its now we get our big break ya know? They are starting to recognize us, I am getting the brand deals I have always wanted. " "Remember back in school when we saw that Vogue magazine we stole from Appa's room and we saw that man in boxers and you introduced me to Calvin Klein's?
I had no idea what a Calvin Klein was back then but you did and you joked about how I would be a Calvin one day and we laughed about it. And now I have the life I always wanted to live and you seem miles away. You don't want it. I feel guilty for wanting all this Y/n. I have people that praise me and make me feel like I accomplished all these feats I never thought I would and you - you just don't care. There's that darned quiver again. " You don't share my enthusiasms anymore. Back when I was having my first fan sign and Music Bank recording, or my first Vlive, you were the one to congratulate me first. "
And now, you seem out of it, like all this means nothing to you. I have all this money I had always wanted, the money we always wished we'd have, and you - you don't want to go on vacations, you don't wear the necklaces I buy for you, you don't come clubbing with me, you never want to enjoy time off with me outside these walls. The only way I get to hang out with you is when we're here Y/n! I have to stay here and just enjoy dinners with you because God forbid you dress up for once and come out to a restaurant Y/n!
His voice was growing alarmingly high but he couldn't help it. You still refused to look at him. On one hand he wanted to see you to gauge your reaction but on the other hand, he knew that if he saw so much of a tear, he would call this all off. You were far too precious to him.
But did you know that?
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He knew you were quiet. Between the two of them, he was the extroverted one. You and him go back all the way to middle school.
You were the most popular couple in school and although he often jokes about it being his looks that got them popular, he knew it was mainly you. All the guys had a crush on you, you were the class topper but someone who shared notes with everyone and stayed back to help everyone struggling with math, even offering to come early on exam days just to teach those who needed it.
And you had a sweet voice that won many competitions earning their school several accolades. There was not a single mean bone in your body and there wasn't a single day he didn't gloat that you were his girl. Especially to Hyunsik his long term rival and the boy who worshiped the ground you walked on. Back then things were all easy , you were his and he was yours. Dreaming was just simple. They would joke about you auditioning and being the "Next IU". They dreamed of the future with money. Lots of money and children to spoil with money.
He would joke about him working as a top lawyer and taking care of their imaginary kids while you worked the idol life. He would talk about spending vacations( a luxury you both didn't have because of how poor you were) on Jeju Island with a gold watch on his right hand and endless tteokbokki and you would tell him- "dream harder Gyu"- we can go on a vacation to Hawaii with a Rolex on your right hand and endless supply of Steak." And you both would erupt into giggles because what reality would offer them that? And now you are both here, with a life that you both joked would be your reality, and although the future seemed right there, you were not with him. The same person who chided him when he seemed too scared to hope for a Music Bank win, the one who pushed him to audition when he had been scouted by Pledis, the same you who had once told him that "in all the lives we live together, we will be together" as drifting apart. You finally looked at him. He knew that look, one sniff away from your tears finally falling down. "What is this really about Gyu?"
Seriously? Were you making him say it? "What this really about Y/n is that, I am tired too."
There he said it.
"Between the two of us, it's me who puts all the work into making this relationship work and I am tired of it. I am here feeling greedy for having achieved all my goals, having the money we never thought we would have, wanting to spent it all on you and you don't even meet me halfway.
I have to force myself to stay in and watch Netflix with you every day and eat home cooked dinners because you don't like eating from out. That is the only thing I can share with you. You never seem to ask me what makes me happy, you never come out with me or go on vacations with me.
I am the only guy amongst everyone in Seventeen to not have a girlfriend who loves to go out and do outdoor activities. And no, I want to do more than just help at the soup kitchen Y/n. You never ask.
I can't post you on my socials, can't go clubbing with you, can't even pick you up from work-- Damnit Y/n- his tears have escaped. He's tried so hard to be strong but you still look so aloof and he feels so silly. You climb up to the sofa and he withdraws far away. He sees the hurt on your face and tries not to call a pause on this argument. Damn you for making him feel silly for just trying to tell you how he finally feels.
"I think I get you Mingyu. " You do? Of course you do, he never has to voice his feelings, you simply got him even before he did. " I know we have just been together for some months after our long break and I still see you as my Mingyuie from when we were 12. I guess, between the jokes we shared I didn't think I would actually be living this life you know? I've always known you would grow on to do far greater things than I will ever accomplish and our dreams of happiness have changed over time. When you came to my house and asked me to take you back to uphold the promise we once made that in every lifetime we would be together, you should have known we changed Gyu. You are now a world icon, an international star, a model, a singer, a heart throb. You have seen places I have never dreamt of -
" And I will take you everywhere you want-"
Silence.
He nodded, gesturing for you to continue talking.
"You have been to places, seen far more of things I haven't but this is not an insecurity thing Mingyu. When we got back together in Jan, we clicked easier because we missed each other and the familiarity we once had Gyu. You and I were close enough to complete each others sentences.
We are two different people now Mingyu. Eight years have changed us. Your world is not so small anymore, you can dream big and you can accomplish big. When I dream big, I can accomplish a job security Gyu. Or afford to lose my second job.
I don't fit in your world of flashing cameras and die hard fans that scream for an autograph and mob you in every airport. I feel out of place in a designer bag and your beautiful necklaces do not match any of my outfits, and when I buy one outfit, I have to buy shoes to pair it with and when I do that, I have to Youtube the best hairstyle that goes with it. And if I do go to my workplace looking like this, everyone will laugh because baristas don't wear Gucci?
You are right, you shouldn't feel guilty for having all this. You shouldn't be tired that you want me to go out with you but I am scared Mingyu. I am a coward. I can't get out of this apartment without the terrifying thought someone will track me down and my whole life is privy to someone.
And what happens when you go on tour or better yet when you are in the military and I am alone with the job you got me to quit since you can provide for both of us and I have all this time and all I can find solace is in social media when I post these pics with all the designers adorned on me but inside I am empty?" " I have no passion Mingyu and everyday is survival for me. To wake up, make the bills and to send some money to Appa and Sullie. I cannot, in good faith take your money and although your idea of a relationship means we both have to be on the same wavelength, you and I both know that it's eight years too late."
I am still in the boat for making ends meet and you can afford vacations. Please don't feel guilty baby, for everything you have gotten. You clearly worked hard on this. We have evolved into two different people, I don't get your inside jokes, I don't understand when I need to step in and defend you, I can't seem to understand what's a joke and what is an insult, I don't get societal cues, or understand fancy people jargon. Heck I can't understand what makes you happy anymore Mingyu! I thought dinners together and hot showers was the dream life but i am selfish because I just thought about what I wanted!
I feel so stupid because this bouquet was from a discounted florist because I don't understand why anyone would spent so much money to get expensive flowers! But that is such
an insult in your world Gyu. You can't even post that on Insta without everyone dragging down these wilted flowers. I get you. This is isn't about who is right and wrong baby. This is about us both moving on in different paths.
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With a duffel bag slung around her shoulder and a suitcase making crunchy noises on the gravel, she set on the long journey to find a motel for the night. Clutched in her left hand contained the only box she took from their shared Mingyu's apartment- a USB that contained Mingyu's portfolio of photos that she had clicked in her new camera and sent in to Pledis that random night 8 years back. Dividers sourced from @saradika-graphics
Listen I think this is the realistic ending to their story but like some of you, I don't like unhappy endings. Therefore alternate version (aka part 2) for those of you who are suckers for happy endings(like me) in the next line But in a realistic world, if you have changed and matured, move on and let them go lovie!
Part 2 here.
Please tag yourself in the comments if you want to be added to the taglist.
Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated guys. I'd love to know your thoughts on this fic!
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bunnliix · 14 days
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When Eight Becomes Nine - Chapter Thirteen
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Okie so I know I said this chapter was fluffy, I lied. It took a turn and I'm sorry but not sorry?
Pairing: Ateez x 9th member!reader  Summary: Part one of Ateez taking y/n out for a fun day in Seoul! wc: 2.8k AU: a/b/o  Genre: Fluff/Angst  warnings: anxiety, fear of heights, panic attacks/almost panic attacks, sexist and misogynistic thoughts (Women/omegas belong in the kitchen, etc.), alphas being assholes, mentions of fighting, violence, insults masterlist
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Wooyoung had decided the one place she had to visit was Lotte World Tower, because of course they have to start out at the tallest place imaginable. It didn’t take them long to arrive at the tower, and as y/n looked upwards, she felt herself get a little woozy. Yunho, who had been keeping an eye on her the entire ride, stepped up behind her, his hands coming to land on her shoulders as he leaned down close to her.
“Are you sure you’re okay to do this? You can back out and none of us will be mad. I think you know this, but Seonghwa is afraid of heights too, so he and Mingi will be going somewhere else in the area while we spend time up at the top of the tower.” Yunho informed her, keeping his voice at a whisper while the others were occupied talking to each other.
“I’m okay. But if it’s too much, can I leave and come back down to the ground floor?” She asked the alpha behind her.
“Of course. If it gets to be too much for you, come to me and tap me twice and I’ll take you down right away, no questions asked.” He told her, squeezing her shoulders before pulling back and letting go of the smaller omega.
This was when the others, minus the duo that Yunho had mentioned, came back over to the two, asking if they were ready to head in. After quickly nodding, Hongjoong guided the seven inside, bypassing the line and heading straight for the elevator to the observation deck. Wooyoung immediately took his place beside her once they were all situated in the elevator, reaching out to grab her hand as the ride up to the top quickly went by. She was dragged out of the elevator right to the windows to look over the city, holding her breath for a moment as she looked out at Seoul, amazed at how far the city sprawled outwards.
“Why are you gripping my hand so hard?” Wooyoung asked, whining towards the end.
“I’m sorry, just a bit uncomfortable with so many people here, it’s a lot for me.” She told the older man, not fully lying, but not telling him the actual reason.
“Oh, baby omega,” Wooyoung cooed, pulling her in for a hug, “It’s okay. We’re here, you’ll be okay.” He comforted her, which helped slightly, but until she was back on the ground, she wouldn’t be back to being fully okay.
San wandered over to the two, smiling at seeing the two omegas hugging. The beta wrapped his arms around them, rocking them back and forth, which made y/n’s nerves become even further on edge. She could see in the corner of her eye that Yeosang and Hongjoong were all milling around one of the windows, seeming to be discussing something with serious faces. Yunho and Jongho were nowhere to be seen, at least not within her eyesight. Before she realized it, Wooyoung and San were pulling her over to the part of the deck that had the glass flooring. She tried to calm her breathing, though it wasn’t working as well as she would have hoped. The beta/omega duo were insistent on taking her over to stand on it so they could take pictures of her, and so she could take the “cool looking down at the ground” photos, or at least that’s what her brain supplied to her as what they said. Her head was elsewhere, trying to figure out what to do, and what would cause the least amount of a scene.
They stopped pulling her, and she looked down to see that she was on top of the glass flooring, and her instinct was to jump away, but Wooyoung held onto her arm which stopped her.
“We’re gonna take photos, stop being so impatient to go and see the rest of the building!” He said to her, a smile on his face.
“I’m good, I don’t need photos, Wooyoung.” She told the other omega, trying to get her arm free from his grip.
“Of course you need photos! It’s your first time here!” He told her.
She saw Yunho pop up from the corner of her eye, and start heading towards the trio. She knew she had to stand up for herself, and make her fears known, but she hadn’t wanted to disappoint Wooyoung as he was so excited to take her here. She took a deep breath, gathering her courage to tell Wooyoung.
“Wooyoung, I’m afraid of heights and the longer you keep me here on the glass, the more likely I am to have a panic attack or get sick or pass out, or all three. Please let me go.” She told her fellow omega, closing her eyes to avoid looking down as she normally would in this type of situation.
The result was immediate, Wooyoung’s arm dropping away from her own, and a set of arms pulling her from where she stood. She opened her eyes to see Jongho was the one who had pulled her away, before Yunho could get close.
“Are you okay?” The alpha asked her.
“I’m doing better now. I won’t be okay until I’m down on the ground again. Heights are not my thing, and glass flooring is definitely not my thing.” She told the alpha, taking a deep breath before stepping away to have some space, the youngest alpha allowing her that space, and San stopping Wooyoung from crowding her once again. The looks on their faces displaying how bad they felt for forcing her into a situation that she clearly feared, and that they were so hell-bent on making sure she experienced it, that they didn’t think to stop and ask if she wanted to do it at all.
“Why didn't you say that you didn’t like heights? I wouldn’t have brought you here, I would have taken you somewhere else? Did you not trust us enough? I’m sorry, y/n.” Wooyoung asked, apologizing in the end.
“I’m sorry I didn’t notice either, y/n. I never meant to cause you anxiety with my actions, and I’m sorry that I didn’t notice your anxiety and reluctance and instead was the cause of more anxiety for you.” San said, as he and Wooyoung bowed in apology to you.
“I didn’t want to ruin your good mood, Wooyoung. You looked so excited to take me here, and I figured I could deal with the anxiety until we were back down on ground level again. I’m not the biggest fan of heights, so these kinds of things are a bit scary to me, and glass floors cause me a lot of anxiety.” Y/n explained to the two.
Darling, you could have said something to us, we would have understood.” San said to her, his voice having just a hint of sadness in it at her words.
“Yeah! If you had said you couldn’t do this, I would have found somewhere else for us to visit, I would never want to force you to do something you’re not comfortable with just because it was somewhere I wanted to take you. So please, tell us no when we suggest things you don’t like?” Wooyoung followed up San’s words with a pleading look in his eyes that also spoke to the regret he felt for suggesting they come here.
“I promise I will speak up next time, okay? Today was just such a great day after all of the fighting earlier, I didn’t want to bring the mood down again by shooting your suggestion down.” Y/n said.
“I told her that if she needed to get out of here, all she had to do was come and tap me twice and I’d take her back down. She had an out, Wooyoung, if she felt this was all too much.” Yunho spoke up, reminding them all that he was here.
Wooyoung nodded at Yunho, seemingly feeling a little bit better knowing that one of the others knew about this and had a way to help y/n out of this situation should she have needed it. Jongho only pulled the smallest omega closer to him, feeling touchy and protective in a way that normally he wouldn’t, as the others usually were the ones to feel this way. She looked up at him and giggled, only adjusting herself so that she was a bit more comfortable, letting the youngest alpha hold onto her for as long as he felt he needed to.
A couple minutes later, the remaining two wandered over to the five, wondering what was going on. “What’s going on here?” Yeosang asked, tilting his head in curiosity.
“Wooyoung and San dragged y/n over to the flooring here only to almost make her have a panic attack. Because she’s afraid of heights, which the glass floor would only make worse.” Jongho said bluntly, knowing it would only result in consequences for the duo.
“Oh,” Hongjoong stayed quiet for a moment, “You two, in my room once we’re back home, yes?” The smile on his face sent chills down everyone’s spines, as they knew that smile on the pack alpha’s face meant nothing good.
This marked the end of their trip, as Hongjoong quickly ushered everyone back to the elevator to go back down to ground level, not wanting to cause anymore anxiety to his newest member. Seonghwa and Mingi met them outside of the tower, both carrying more than a few bags between the two of them. Both of them noticed Jongho’s closeness to the sole female member of the group and Seonghwa noted it to ask about later.
“Are we ready to go to the next place?” Mingi asked, looking at them.
“We’re ready to go. Yunho, it’s your place next, right?” Yeosang answered, looking at his fellow member.
The golden retriever of a man nodded, confirming that his chosen place was next. “I promise it’s not another tower, and technically this is Mingi’s favorite place too, but he picked another one so we had a bit of variety.” He told the youngest omega.
The journey seemed to speed by, even with the traffic on the way to wherever Yunho had decided on taking her. It very quickly came clear once the car came closer to Han River, dropping them off where directed to by the tallest member. Once all nine were out of the car, Yunho took the lead, directing them to an area set out for them, as the security members that had been guarding it for them left at the man’s command.
“You set this up? How did you get this done so quickly?” y/n asked Yunho, surprised at what he had arranged so quickly.
“I had some help from our security crew plus some other friends of mine, who were nice to set this all up for us,” Yunho explained, “You should dig in, before it gets cold.” 
He directed everyone, but especially y/n, as the platter laid out was a lot of Korean fast food that he thought she might want to try. Some of it she had tried before, while some of it was completely new to her, but she didn’t hesitate to try at least a bite of everything. The most foreign thing for her might have been the corn on pizza, as it seems like such an odd thing to have on pizza, but after having a bite, she could see where it fit in with the other ingredients.
She enjoyed the time with the eight men outside of the company and the group’s own dorm, the atmosphere was much more relaxed and casual, and she let herself relax and enjoy this down time. Y/n knew she wouldn’t get much more of it from tomorrow onwards.
“Are you excited to get to do all of the ‘idol things’ we do?” San asked y/n, a smile on his face as he laid down on the grass next to her, having moved over from the main group.
“Yes, but also no,” she answered, “I’m excited, but I’ve seen how busy life can get as an idol, so I’m going to miss all of my freetime.”
San nodded, the beta knowing that she wasn’t wrong, Ateez never really stopped working, not for long anyways. They did take breaks when the members’ heats and ruts occurred, but other than that rest was almost nonexistent.
“You’re not wrong, but I think you’ll find the work to be enjoyable. Plus you still have to get introduced to Atiny, which will be fun. Oh, and they’ve been working on other things too!” The beta enthused, rambling on excitedly about the plans he knew were happening in the near future, as well as where she’d fit in with everything.
At the sound of footsteps behind them, San looked up as y/n turned around, finding that Yunho was the source.
“Yunho-yah, what’s up?” San asked the dancer.
“I’m here to steal y/nnie away from you for a bit.” Yunho replied, making the beta pout.
“But I was just getting some time with her,” San whined, making y/n giggle.
“I’m sure Yunho won’t keep me for long,” she told the man, before getting up to stand next to the tall grey-haired man.
“Fine,” San said, “but come back soon.”
Yunho led y/n away, towards a quieter part of the area that also happened to be more secluded as well. It was a bit of a walk, so they filled the time talking about funny stories from their childhood.
“-and then the gym teacher picked him up and dropped him in the trash can. All because he joked about it and then didn’t pay attention when Mr. Mercer was talking.” Y/n told Yunho, causing the older man to laugh.
“I don’t think I have any stories like that from my school days, but I have many stories about Mingi-yah.” He told y/n, chuckling to himself as he’s reminded of more than a few things Mingi would be embarrassed about if y/n was told about them.
They were engrossed in their own little world, chatting and giggling until y/n ran into a wall, knocking her backwards.
“Ah yes, a stupid omega who can’t watch where she’s going.” The wall, which was actually an alpha, sneered.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” Y/n apologized to the rude alpha, disregarding the insult to not escalate the situation.
However, Yunho didn’t have the same thought. “You shouldn’t have been standing on the sidewalk, and she’s not stupid,” he said.
“I can stand wherever I want, and keep your fucking omega at home, where she belongs,” the alpha shot back at Yunho.
“Yunho, just let it go, it’s fine.” Y/n tried to convince the idol, not wanting to get him in trouble, or have the shithead alpha get any more violent.
“He’s insulting you, I won’t let that stand,” Yunho replied, before looking back up at the alpha in front of them.
A crowd had started to gather, making y/n feel unsettled, knowing that Yunho could get recognized soon if he hadn’t been already. And she didn’t yet have any of the other’s numbers, so she couldn’t reach out to them for help.
“...you really can’t control your omega well, huh? You really should just take her home and leave her in the kitchen. Or better yet, give her to me, and I can show you how a real alpha controls their omega. You obviously don’t like her that much, considering she has no mating bite on her neck.” The alpha continued, and the scent of burnt oranges coming from Yunho only grew stronger. 
Y/n grabbed Yunho’s arm, trying to pull the alpha away from the confrontation. She didn’t want them to get into trouble, plus she wasn’t the person for confrontations with alphas like the one Yunho is about to fight. They never changed their minds, and fighting wouldn’t prove anything. She’s dealt with enough of them to know that they wanted to get a rise out of omegas and anyone they could, while truly believing that omegas were inferior to them.
Yunho tugged his arm out of her hold, moving in front of her and closer to the other alpha.
“Yu, please. It’s not worth it.” She pleaded with the man, who only shook his head.
“You should really listen to the dumb bunny, wouldn’t want to mess up your pretty face.”
That was the final straw for Yunho, and y/n could only watch in horror as the tall alpha practically launched himself at the other man, his arm pulled back ready to throw a punch. 
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auras-moonstone · 1 year
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OMG!!! IDK IF YOU'RE TAKING REQUESTS BUT IF YOU ARE CAN YOU DO A NERD!ETHAN X CHEER CAPTAIN!READER. WHERE ETHAN THINKS SHES GOING TO BE REALLY RUDE BUT SHE TURNS OUT TO BE REALLY SWEET?! THEN, THEY TAKE AN INTREST IN EACHOTHER??? YOU DONT HAVE TO BUT IF YOU DO THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!! AND I LOVEEEEE YOUR WORK!
i have been thinking of doing something like this for a while actually!! hope you like it🤍
i know places — ethan landry
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word count: 1,872
pairing: nerd!ethan landry x cheerleader!fem!reader
summary: y/n needs help with her english essay and nerdy ethan offers his help
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WHEN ETHAN HEARD HIS NAME BEING CALLED, EVERYTHING STOPPED. It wasn’t the fact that it was literally shouted aloud in the hallway, making everyone’s attention drift towards the person who had yelled it. It was the fact that said person was Y/N Y/L/N—cheer captain and prettiest girl in the school. Why was she saying his name? Actually, how did she even know his name?
Ethan didn’t have time to think, because she was moving towards him like a full on rainstorm and Ethan felt his legs getting weak, as if there were about to fail him. “Ethan!” she said breathlessly from running down the hall.
“H-hi” Ethan replied in a low voice, blood rushing to his face because of the unwanted attention. She was going to say something really hurtful and everyone was going to hear it. Cheerleaders making fun of people like Ethan wasn’t something uncommon, he had experienced it countless of times.
“Shit. I caused a scene, didn’t I? I’m so sorry” she sounded genuine, which made Ethan confused. Where was the insult? “I called your name before you exited the classroom, but you didn’t seem to hear me”. Ethan’s brain seemed to have been failing him because he was not able to utter a single syllable. “Anyways, you left your coat” she showed him the blue cloth that belonged to him with a tiny smile on her face.
He cleared his throat, coming back to his senses “Oh… thank you”
“You’re welcome!” Y/N said with a bright smile. “I’m Y/N, by the way”.
“I’m Ethan” he did an awkward wave, which the cheerleader thought was very adorable.
“Yeah, I know. You sit next to me in English” Y/N let out a little laugh.
The boy laughed nervously “Right, I know, I just thought you wouldn’t remember”
“Well, I remember you, Ethan Landry” she assured him with a smile, making him blush even harder. This reaction brought Y/N a sense of victory, and she decided she enjoyed seeing the boy blush for her “Are you taking the coat or you’re going to keep staring at me?”
“Oh, sorry” he grabbed the coat with shaky hands. That’s when Y/N noticed the piece of paper he was holding and the A+ written in red marker.
“You got an A+ in the Brave new world essay?” she asked surprised.
“Y-yeah” was this the part she was going to mock him? He knew her being nice was too good to be true.
But, once again, she surprised him. “Do you mind if I take a look at it? I didn’t do so well in mine” Y/N asked, feeling a bit embarassed by confessing that.
“Yeah, sure, no problem”
As she read, he took the opportunity to admire her. Y/N’s shiny hair fell flawlessly over her face, creating some kind of curtain. He wanted to tuck it behind her ear, but it would be extremely weird. His eyes then went to her face: her eyes were furrowed as she took in the words written on the paper, and she bit her lip in concentration—Ethan felt the need to brush his finger against it, because that action drove him crazy—and suddenly his heart clenched when he noticed her saddened expression.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked softly.
“I’m not doing so well in English. If I don’t pass the make-up exam, I won’t be able to keep my position as cheer captain”
“You still have a chance, then” he tried to light up her mood.
“Yeah, but if this is what I have to write in order to pass… I’m screwed. I could never write something like this” Y/N sighed in frustration “Your writing is completely amazing, by the way”
“Thanks. I could tutor you, if you want” the words left his mouth before he could think twice.
“Really?”
Her eyes shone with such hope that he couldn’t say anything but, “Yes”.
Y/N wanted to hug him so bad, but she noticed how uncomfortable he was under the gaze of others, and her touching him was only going to make things worse for him. People were already whispering things such us: ‘Why is Y/N talking to that nerd?’ ‘Does he even go here?’ ‘Isn’t he the one who is always answering questions in Econ?’
She resisted the urge to scowl at every single person in the hallway. Why they gotta be so mean? “Thank you so much! When are you available?”.
“Any day, to be honest. But you have cheerleading practice, so you tell me”
He was so considerate and adorable she wanted to cry. “So make-up exam is this friday, meaning we have today, tomorrow and Thursday. Is it okay if we meet those days at 6:30?”
“Yeah, no problem. Can you come over to my dorm? The library is always crowded during exam weeks”
“Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll give you my number so you can text me your address” he handed her his phone and typed her number. “There you go”
“I’ll text you as soon as classes finish”
“Thank you so much, Ethan. You don’t know how thankful I am”
“What if I turn out to be the worst tutor ever?” he joked.
Y/N laughed. “I know you won’t. And even if you were, I’m still very thankful you are spending your free time doing this for me”
He shrugged “It’s my pleasure”
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Y/N STARED AT THE RESULT IN COMPLETE SHOCK. Were her eyes deceiving her? Was Mr. Keating pulling a joke on her?
“Excellent work, Mrs. Y/L/N. Your analysis was espectacular and your writing and vocabulary have improved immensely in such short time” Mr. Keating told her.
“Thank you so much!” she exclaimed, grabbing the paper as if it were the most precious thing in the world.
“May I ask, did you have help or did you study on your own?” there was no accusatory tone, just curiosity.
“Ethan helped me, sir. I definitely wouldn’t have passed without him”
“Oh, that’s nice of him. He’s an excellent student and writer”
“The best” Y/N nodded in agreement. “Speaking of him, I should thank him, for the hundredth time in the past three days”
ethan!!!!!! 🥹
i need to talk to you.
okay! see you after school? 👀
no. right now
oh, everything okay?
yes, don’t worry. i know a place we can talk alone
under the bleachers?
sure. see you in 5?
see you! <3
If there was one thing Y/N knew about Ethan before he even started tutoring her was that he was completely terrified of attention. That’s why they never talked at school, only texted (a lot). Both of them became close, and soon tutoring wasn’t the only thing they hung out for. After they were done studying, she would stay for dinner and a movie, and together they shared their opinions on them.
Y/N also found out that, when he wasn’t around students and their gossiping mouths, Ethan was beyond funny and outgoing. And also, while he was adorable and sweet, Y/N discovered that he had a flirty side—which she enjoyed very much and she always let him know that by blushing like a school girl. It was safe to say that the girl had absolutely fallen for the boy’s charm.
And Ethan fell for her charm too. She was kind, talented, beyond smart—which she always said was a lie, but Ethan was always there to contradict her—understanding, and down to earth. He couldn’t believe he once thought Y/N was a mean, popular, spoiled cheerleader. She was beautiful and amazing and he liked her more than he had expected.
“Ethan!” the girl’s voice instantly made his heart start racing. The brunette raised his head from the book he was reading to see the cheerleader running towards him. Next thing he knew, she threw herself at him, and he fell on his back. Thankfully, he had been sitting so it didn’t hurt.
“Hi there!” Ethan laughed, hugging her tightly. He would never get tired of her closeness.
“I did it!” Y/N exclaimed showing her the exam, still lying on top of him.
Ethan smiled proudly “I knew you could do it! Congrats, cheer captain!”
“Thank you” she whispered, voice cracking.
“Hey… what’s wrong?”
“Happy tears. I just can’t believe I did it” she said, smiling widely. “My friends joked about having to look for a new captain, which I knew it wasn’t a joke at all and they were actually concerned. And my parents were also thinking what they were going to say when I went home with the news that I was no longer a cheerleader… but I did it, Ethan!”
“That’s awful, Y/N” he frowned. She deserved so much better “Are you seriously telling me no one had an ounce of faith in you?”
“Well, there is one person who always betted on me. He would never get tired of telling me how smart I was, even when I was constantly saying the opposite” her eyes looked so bright, he wondered if he would ever be able to look away.
“Oh yeah? So he cheers the cheerleader?” he joked, making her laugh.
“Dork” she beeped his nose “Anyways, you want me to tell you about this guy?” Ethan nodded, sitting up. Y/N remained on his lap. “So, I could talk about him for days, but I’m going to keep it simple and tell you my favorite things about him. First of all, he has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen and I swear I could stare at them forever. He’s very passionate about movies, and his little rants about them are the best thing I’ve ever heard. He gives the best hugs in the world, but then again I might be a little biased because I just love being in his arms”
“You do?” he looked up at her in awe.
“I do” she affirmed. “He’s the only one who sees me as more than just a popular cheerleader. He’s sweet and sincere. He blushes a lot when I compliment him, just like you’re doing right now” she teased. “His smile… holy shit, it makes me forget about everything. Especially when they are directed at me”.
“He sounds handsome and amazing” he joked.
“Oh, he is. And that is why I like him so much” Y/N finally confessed.
Ethan’s jaw almost reached the floor. “You like him?”
“So much it’s physically hurting” she said, fixing the collar of his shirt.
“He likes you too” Ethan cupped her jaw.
“Then he should kiss me”
So he did, and he didn’t care anymore if anyone saw them. Their lips fitted perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle that went together, and nothing had ever felt so right for them.
“I want to be with you, Eth. I know you don’t want people to whisper about you, and I’m afraid if you are with me it’s going to be inevitable. But I want you to be my boyfriend, I don’t care if we have to keep this a secret”
Ethan shook his head “No. No secrets. I want to hold your hand in plain sight, I want to kiss you. Let them say what they won’t, I won’t hear them”
Y/N smiled and went in for another kiss. “Let’s go now. I want to show them I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world”
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starkwlkr · 1 year
Note
Hi can you write a verstappen reader x charles where they're dating in secret but max founds out and he gets mad, you can work out the story, maybe a lot of angst but a happy ending, I love your writing.
friends don’t kiss friends | charles leclerc
btw max and charles hate each other in this so i apologize in advance for all the lestappen fans <3
Max would kill Charles. No, he was going to kill Charles. It was an exaggeration, but it would probably come true.
Y/n Verstappen knew her true feelings. She knew what she wanted and what she wanted more than anything in the world was to be with Charles. He was caring, loving, the perfect man in her eyes. But Max would never allow his older sister to be with him.
So they saw each other in secret.
Max had almost caught the couple once. He had stopped by his sister’s apartment in Monaco and saw Charles’ Ferrari parked outside. When he knocked on the door, Charles opened it thinking it was the food they had ordered.
“Y/n, it’s your brother.” Charles called out to his girlfriend. “Excuse me mate, go to go.”
“Leaving so soon?” Max asked.
“Yeah, I’ve got a family lunch tomorrow. Good to see you.” Charles said coldly.
Y/n appeared, having changed from Charles’ shirt to one of her own. “You didn’t tell me you were coming over.” Y/n said to Max, who was busy glaring at Charles.
“I didn’t think I’d have to. You’re my sister.” Max replied. “I was just about to ask Charles here why he could come over but I can’t.”
Charles’ heart started beating faster. What was he supposed to say? Confess to their secret relationship? ‘Hey, by the way, I’m having sex with your sister!’
“I asked him to.” Y/n spoke. “He mentioned he wanted to make something for his family lunch tomorrow so I told him he could borrow my book where I keep all my recipes.”
“Then where’s the book?” Max asked.
Y/n then brought out a book she had been hiding behind her back. She then handed it to Charles. “He was just leaving, Max.”
Charles grabbed the book. “Thank you.” Was all he said before he walked to his Ferrari. Once inside, he watched Max start to argue with Y/n. He started feeling guilty knowing he was the cause of it.
He wanted to be able to kiss Y/n in public, hold her hand, take her on dates. He was sure Y/n wanted that too, but if she ever revealed that she was dating her brother’s rival, the name Verstappen would no longer belong to her.
After that day, Charles was more careful when he visited Y/n. Instead of taking his Ferrari, he would order an Uber to her apartment. Sometimes he would spend the night because Y/n convinced him to. (And also because those were the nights Max wasn’t in Monaco so they didn’t have to worry about him coming over)
Y/n was happy with Charles. He treated her with respect, she did the same to him. Their love was real, something Max would have trouble understanding.
When Max finally found out, he refused to talk to his sister. It was during the inaugural Miami Grand Prix. Y/n had watched her brother win the race while her brother came in second. It was a good weekend so far. When the podium ceremony came, instead of wearing hats, they were given football helmets. Y/n laughed at Charles, who found her in the crowd of people and winked at her.
After the ceremony, she made her way to the Red Bull Garage. She wanted no more than to celebrate both Charles and Max, but that would never happen. When Max found her, he grabbed her forcefully by the arm and dragged her to his driver’s room, ignoring her insults she had thrown at him.
“You fucker! You’re hurting my arm!” Y/n punched Max’s shoulder, trying to get him to let her go. Finally, they reached the room where Max had let her go and closed the door behind them. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
“How long has this been happening?” Max asked.
Y/n saw the look in Max’s eyes. He was furious. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She said.
“Don’t act dumb. How long have you been sleeping with him? Days? Weeks?” Max threw his 1st place football helmet to the ground.
“It’s my life. You don’t get to control who I see!” Y/n tried to leave, but Max held her back. “Let me go!”
“Why are you doing this to me? Why him?” Max asked. He felt betrayed.
“I’m not doing anything to you. He loves me.” Y/n defended the love of her life.
“Does he?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I know him. I know how he is, how he thinks and he’s the worst.” Max went on.
“Well I know him too and I know he would never hurt me. But you are. You’re my brother, Max.” Y/n felt a tear go down her cheek.
Max shook his head. “You’re not my sister.”
Those words hit Y/n hard. Why wouldn’t they? Max was always there for her, cared for her, loved her. That day, Y/n and Max stopped talking.
When Charles found Y/n, she was a crying mess. She had explained everything to him.
“He hates me. He said I’m not his sister anymore.” Y/n cried to Charles in his driver’s room.
“Hey, you’re going to be okay. You’ve got me and my family. They love you more than anything. We’re going to be okay.”
Charles kept his word. The Leclerc family became her own. When she attended races, the Ferrari garage became her home instead of the Red Bull garage. She would sometimes pass by it, but never looked inside or asked for Max. They were strangers now.
Y/n spent all the holidays, birthdays and anniversaries with the Leclercs. Soon enough, she was planning a wedding with Charles.
“The invitations came in.” Y/n told Charles as she showed him the wedding invitations she had custom made.
“They look great, mon amour.” Charles kissed her cheek. “Lorenzo and I are going to take Arthur suit shopping. He says he can’t find the right one. I’ll be back soon.”
Y/n nodded and kissed Charles’ lips. After he left, Y/n was all by herself in their shared apartment. She picked up an invitation and stared at it. She was finally going to get married. But of course something was missing, or rather someone. She still wasn’t in contact with Max. Sure they were at the same events all year, but they never asked for each other. She missed him everyday.
When they were younger, Y/n always thought Max would attended her wedding. He would be by her side, dance with her, but none of that was happening.
Yet.
Charles hated lying to his fiancée. He hated it with a burning passion, but he knew he had to to something about Max. Truth was, Arthur had found his suit the day after Charles and Y/n announced their engagement. Now Charles stood in Max’s apartment. Kelly had let him in while Max had just gotten out of the shower.
“What are you doing here? Did you let him in?” Max asked Kelly.
“She did. I’m here to talk to you about Y/n.” Charles said. “We’re getting married.” Kelly excused herself and left the two men to talk.
“And you want me to congratulate you?” Max scoffed.
“No, I’m here to invite you to the wedding. She’d want you there believe it or not. She does care about you, Max—”
“Then why did she have to fall in love with you? She could’ve had anyone and she chose you.” Max interrupted. “She chose you over her own family.”
“She didn’t. You disowned her. You left her hurt. She cried every night for three weeks and guess who was there? Me. I love her and if you can’t see that then you’re obviously blind as shit.” Charles dug into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. “That’s the address.” He put it on the coffee table.
“What? No proper invitation?” Max rolled eyes eyes.
“Don’t push it.”
The day of the wedding finally came. Y/n couldn’t wait to call Charles her husband. She stood in front a full length mirror admiring her white dress. Pascale had helped her with her hair while she applied her makeup.
“Thank you again, Pascale.” Y/n said to the older woman.
“You look beautiful. Charles is going to cry when he sees you.” Pascale smiled. As Y/n looked at herself in the mirror, Pascale heard a light knock on the door to the dressing room. The Leclerc woman walked to the door and slightly opened it thinking it was Charles trying to take a look at Y/n’s dress. She was surprised to see Max in a suit.
Pascale looked back at Y/n, who was too busy fixing her veil. She then turned to Max. “Does she know?” Max shook his head. Pascale sighed and asked Max to wait. She closed the door and walked back to the bride. “ma fille, there is someone here to see you.”
Pascale’s words made Y/n froze. She could only think of one person. She turned to face Pascale. “He can come in.” She nodded at the woman.
As Pascale went to let Max in, Y/n started to take deep breaths. Was she actually ready to face Max? She didn’t know. Was it even a good idea for him to be there? Again, she couldn’t tell.
“I’ll leave you two alone. I’m going to check on Charles.” Pascale excused herself and left the room.
Y/n had her back turned to Max, only this time she was looking at him through the mirror. “You look dumb.” She said.
“So do you.” Max replied with a dry laugh. “You look pretty.” He cleared his throat.
Y/n laughed. She knew how Max was when trying to compliment someone else. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Yeah, well your future husband insisted I come. He told me you care about me.”
“I didn’t stop, Max. You’re my brother.” Y/n finally turned around to face him. “Why do you hate Charles so much? He makes me happy.”
“I guess I didn’t want you to leave me.”
Y/n’s heart broke. Everyone knew how hard Jos Verstappen was on his children, especially Max. Over the years, Max had gone to his older sister for comfort, something Jos was unfamiliar with.
“I know it’s selfish of me. You can hate me all you want, hate me until you die, but I just want to say I’m sorry for everything I ever did and said to you. You’re always going to be my sister.” Max confessed.
Y/n wiped away a tear. “I don’t hate you and I’m not going to hate you until I die. You’re so fucking dramatic.” She laughed through her tears.
“I can leave if you want me to. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry.” Max nodded. He was about to leave the room when Y/n spoke once again.
“Stay.”
The wedding was the most beautiful wedding Max had ever attended. He sat next to Charles’ brothers. As he looked at Charles and Y/n, he felt proud of the life his sister had made.
“You may kiss the bride.” The priest announced. Charles didn’t have to be told twice. He kissed Y/n as if it was the last time they would ever kiss. To them, it was like they were the only ones in the room.
“You know, Y/n once told me her and Charles were just friends.” Max whispered to Arthur, who lightly laughed. “Friends don’t kiss friends.”
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Note
Do you think that the whole cake island would be the first place sanji and nijis fiancé darling meet?. Or did he know about her/see her during his childhood but was never permitted to speak to her because of his status as the weakest Prince. And potentially causing possible issues with the political alliance if it looked like judge was going to offer a betrothal with the noble girl/princess and his weakest child as that would be considered a insult
Initially, I had planned for that to be their first meeting, but this ask quickly made me considered the other option and it spiraled out of control from there. Here is the result.
I decided to use (y/n) instead the the name established throughout the au since this was supposed to be a reader insert originally. I apologize for any inaccuracies that there may be in this. I haven't gotten to this arc yet, so I'm just working off of random spoilers and wikis.
Confrontations and Complications
Sanji x Princess Reader
2.9k words
warnings: implied afab reader, this is straight up angst no comfort
Heels click loudly against the floor as you run through the quiet hallways. The skirt of your dress and your petticoats were bunched up in your fists to prevent you from tripping. There was no telling how long of a window you would have to do this, and you refused to miss your chance at this.
Niji became distracted at the perfect moment for you to slip away undetected, and Reiju had given her word that she would do her best to redirect him should he notice your absence. While you and Reiju weren’t on the friendliest terms as of late, she appeared to be acting in your best interest for the time being. It was debatable how trustworthy she truly was, but you were willing to take the risk in this one instance.
This was of the utmost importance.
The flurry of clicks from your shoes slow as the door you’ve been searching for comes into view, then eventually comes to a complete halt. You pant as you catch your breath and stare at the door. You make a hasty attempt to fix your clothes and hair, then straighten your tiara that had been bouncing freely on your head as you ran. After all of this time, you didn’t want to look unkempt when he saw you.
Steeling yourself with one last deep breath, you grasp the knob and open the door.
Sitting at a small table and absentmindedly flicking a lighter on and off was just the man you were hoping to see. Reiju had not led you astray with her directions. The man, Vinsmoke Sanji, looked startled at your sudden intrusion and was staring at you questioningly.
Oh. In your haste to confirm that this was, in fact, his room, it had slipped your mind to knock and you had just let yourself in. How unlike you.
“Can… Can I help you, miss?” Sanji removed the smoked down nub of a cigarette from his mouth and snubbed it out in a shockingly full ashtray before reaching for the cigarette pack on the table. His exposed eye kept darting back to you while waiting for an answer.
Ah. So he did not recognize you… This fact pained you, but it wasn’t wholly surprising. It has been a very long time since your last meeting. You swallow thickly and step the rest of the way into his room before closing the door behind you, “Please forgive me for barging into your accommodation. I was so overcome with emotion that I forgot my manners.”
Sanji offered a small, but noticeably forced smile, “No need to apologize. I would never complain over being sought out by such a lovely woman. I don’t believe we’ve met.”
“We have.” You inch closer to him while wringing your hands nervously. Your heart pounded in your chest, and you were certain that it had nothing to do with your previous exertion. “Though I do not blame you for not recognizing me. The last time that I was in your company, we were mere children sneaking into a kitchen to prepare a lunch for your dear mother.”
The fresh cigarette that was dangling from Sanji’s lips falls onto the table as he stares at you with a wide eye. He is momentarily slack jawed before he finds it in himself to whisper out your name.
A genuine smile spreads across your face as you see the recognition in his eyes. “Yes, Sanji. It’s me, (Y/N).”
In an instant, Sanji is up and out of his seat. He stumbles a bit from tripping over the leg of the table, then comes to a halt in front of you. His hands reach forward, then pause, unsure of whether or not he should touch you. You take the decision out of his hands and quickly close the gap. Your arms wrap around his middle in a tight hug, which he returns after only a brief moment of hesitation.
The harsh and overpowering scent of tobacco stings at your nose as you rest your face on his shoulder, but you wouldn’t dare complain over something so trivial. Not when you were experiencing such a foreign rush of joy and relief. 
With much reluctance, you force yourself to pull away first. Sanji held you a beat longer, but acquiesced to your action. His hands traced up and settled on your shoulders. The baby blue eye that wasn’t obscured flitted across your face, seemingly taking in every detail.
“I can’t believe it’s really you… I never thought I would see you again,” Sanji speaks to you in a hushed reverence that encourages your heart to feel ways that you know very well that it should not be given the current circumstances.
Your own hands are settled on his waist, not quite wanting to sever the physical connection. You offer him a half-hearted smile, “I could say the same for you. Prior to the last week, I believed you to be dead.” Your gloved hands clutch at his shirt, no doubt wrinkling it. A rude action, truly, but the only thing restraining you from cradling his face like you so desire. “I cannot quite put into words how relieving it is to see you alive and well.”
Sanji purses his lips and breaks the eye contact between you. He releases your shoulders and steps back, prompting you to relinquish your hold on him as well. It takes everything you have to not match every step he takes with one of your own. He heaves a sigh while reaching for his dropped cigarette, “I’m sorry. If there had been a way for me to let you know that I was okay, I would have done that in a heartbeat.”
“Oh, no!” The words come out so strongly and with so much force that it startles even you. You take a breath, then continue at a much calmer tone, “Please don’t misunderstand. I am not begrudging you for this. There are certainly people to blame, but you are not amongst them.”
A small smile is the reward for your clarification. Sanji flicks his lighter to life to ignite his cigarette. He takes a long drag of it, then exhales it. “Thank you. You’re too kind to me.”
“Hush, I am not. Dare I say, you could benefit from more kindness.” Everyone could, but you did not care about everyone right now.
Sanji chuckles, though it’s distinctly lacking any real humor. “You haven’t changed a bit since we were kids. I don’t know how you’ve done it.”
The silence that fell over you as he puffed away at his cigarette was neither comfortable, nor tense. So many things were left unsaid, and Sanji appeared to be content to leave it that way. You itched to ask him countless questions. How did he escape Germa? Where has he been this whole time? What was it like being part of such a notorious pirate crew? With so many queries running through your mind, it felt impossible to choose just one.
“What are you doing on Whole Cake Island, anyway? I didn’t think your family was close enough with Big Mom to be invited to a wedding.”
In an instant, your heart leaps up into your throat and you balk. This was precisely the topic you had hoped to avoid. Both for your own comfort, as well as his own. Ignorance is bliss, and you wanted him to know peace.
Unfortunately, your silence successfully attracts his attention. He turns to face you fully, and you can feel his eye boring into you despite the fact that you’re staring at the floor. “(Y/N)... Why are you here?” The thinly veiled urgency in his voice indicated that he was already coming to his own conclusions.
“I’m… here with my fiance,” the volume of your voice decrescendos with each word until ‘fiance’ comes out at a barely audible whisper.
It is unclear at first if the silence that followed was brought on by shock, or if Sanji simply hadn’t heard you. You get your answer shortly when he asks a quick and straightforward question.
“Who?”
Answering this was significantly more trying than explaining why you were here. You still couldn’t meet his eye, and you were grateful that he wasn’t forcing you to. There was no way to dance around or sugarcoat who it was. As much as you knew that he wouldn’t like the truth, he deserved to hear it.
“Niji.”
From your peripheral vision, you could see his cigarette hit the floor. Before you could be alarmed about the rug catching to fire, it was snuffed out under Sanji’s foot as he rapidly closed the gap that he had once made. His hands find purchase on your shoulders again, though he’s far less gentle this time. If it weren’t for the ironclad grip he had on you, you’re certain that you would have toppled over from the strength he took hold of you with. You’re forced to look up at him and take in his expression. The eye that you can see is wide with a shrunken pupil. The color in his skin has paled noticeably, and his mouth hangs open as his breath comes out in frantic pants.
His hands tighten around your shoulders more as he spits out an accusation laden in desperation, “You’re lying.”
Oh, how you wish you were. How you wish that there wasn’t an engagement ring weighing down your ring finger. But that simply isn’t reality. You hold up your left hand, actively ignoring the way it trembled under the intensity of Sanji’s gaze. His eye zeros in on the gleaming, blue jewel that was the centerpiece of your ring.
The sight of it repelled him. You were released from his touch once more as he backed away until he crashed into the table, effectively tipping it over and sending it crashing to the ground. The ashtray that had been sitting on it flew and rolled across the floor, spreading cigarette butts and ash everywhere, but Sanji paid it no mind.
“No… no, no, no! You can’t be serious! Niji?!” His raised voice startled you. While you had been anticipating a poor reaction, this was far worse than you ever would have guessed. His hands shot up and threaded through his hair. The way that he pulled on it had to be painful, and you held out your hand to try and coax him into letting go, but then he evaded you by beginning to pace. His steps were quick and forceful, the soles of his shoes making more noise than your heels had made when you were running to get here.
As much as you wanted to speak, it was beyond you what there even was to say that would soothe him.
Sanji abruptly spun around to face you again, making you flinch. He all but ran to you and took your hands in his, pulling you towards him so hard that you almost crashed into him. He speaks in a frantic but hushed tone, “You need to leave.”
“I… I beg your pardon?”
“You need to leave now. It isn’t safe for you to stay here.” His head snaps to the side and he lets go of your hand briefly to slam the window shut before grasping it again. “I need you to listen to me. My cr- My former crew is here. They will be more than happy to take you away and keep you safe. I’m not sure how I’ll get you to them yet, but I promise you that I won’t rest until you’re under their protection.”
All that you can do is stare at him. Your heart is thudding in your chest, but an undeniable warmth is spreading through it as well. Never in your wildest dreams would you have thought that this could happen. You squeeze his hands and speak breathlessly, “You wish to run away together?”
Sanji freezes at your words. His mouth opens and closes several times, and then he averts his eyes, “I can’t do that. This is just for you.”
You rip your hands away from his and step away. “What? What are you talking about?”
The way he looks at you as if you’re clueless infuriates you. He speaks slowly as he explains himself, “I’m getting married to Pudding. I’m sure that you know that.”
This explanation leaves you appalled, you all but shriek at him, “You’re actually going through with that?!” The entire reason that you were so desperate to have this meeting in the first place was because you had assumed that he would leave with his crew before the wedding could occur.
Your shouting startles Sanji, giving him a quick moment of pause. He clears his throat before doing his best to speak in a calm and assertive tone. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I? Our marriage will be a good thing.”
Hearing him say this breaks you. All grace and decorum is forgotten in your outburst. “A good thing?! Nothing good can come from marrying someone like Pudding!”
While you generally tried to be kind and gracious to everyone, you were unable to grant Pudding the same courtesy. Not after you became privy to her true feelings towards Sanji when you overheard a conversation between her and a few of her siblings. The way she spoke of Sanji was as maddening as it was sickening. It took all of your self control to not burst into the room and demand that she trade her fiance for your own if she disliked him so much.
Maybe you should have. 
“Pudding is a lovely woman… And the marriage is good for political reasons as well.” Sanji was refusing to meet your enraged gaze, which only fueled the fire within you.
A sarcastic bark of laughter escaped you. “A lovely woman?! She’s a spoiled brat who doesn’t understand how fortunate she is!” That girl had everything that a woman could hope for in a political marriage, and she had the audacity to look down on her betrothed as if he wasn’t worthy of so much as breathing the same air as her. 
When Sanji only stared at you with a shocked expression, it made all of the hideous emotions that you had been suppressing up to this point bubble to the surface and boil over.
“That girl has it all, and she can’t even be grateful for it! She won’t have to put up with her husband lusting over everyone but her! She won’t have to be little more than a mere obligation to her husband! She won’t just be used to bring about a new generation of living weapons!” 
You fall silent as the words settle into the air, thickening the atmosphere until it became difficult to breathe. Hot tears begin to pour down your face in a shameful display. You turn away from Sanji as raw, pained sobs wrack through you.
“(Y/N)...”
Sanji stepped towards you and rested a hand on your shoulder, but you ripped away from him as if his touch burned you. The last thing that you wanted was his pity. You hastily dabbed at your eyes with a handkerchief as you hurried to the door, but Sanji put himself between you and the exit.
“Please, (Y/N)... I know you don’t like it, but you need to leave without me. You have no idea how much danger you’ll be in if you stay.” His face and tone are equally pleading. His hands reach towards you once more, but halt just before making contact.
“I am many things, but please don’t think me naive, Sanji… I know precisely what is expected of me in my marriage.” Every word out of your mouth is bitter and laced with contempt.
“Then why are you being so stubborn? I know that you don’t want this.” Sanji is visibly exasperated. 
“The better question is: Why are you being so stubborn? You are not compelled to do this like I am! You have an entire crew that is willing to fight for you, yet you’re refusing their help!” You exhale and shake your head, “You are almost as ungrateful as Pudding, perhaps you two are meant to be after all.”
“This is not as simple and straightforward as you think it is. There is much more going on… It’s better for everyone if I go through with this.”
Your hands ball up into fists at your sides and you snap at him, “Oh, what a martyr you are! How brave! How proud!” Having finally had enough, you fully abandon etiquette and shove Sanji out of your way. You grasp the doorknob, but rather than leaving, you decide that you have one last sentiment to tack on. “Martyrdom is the coward’s choice! If you really care for the people in your life, you will fight to be with them, not sacrifice yourself at the first opportunity!”
With that, you wrench open the door and slam it behind you the second you’re out of the room. You take off down the hall with no clear destination, only desiring to put as much distance between yourself and Sanji as reasonably possible.
Despite what you had said, you realize that you were actually quite naive. It was foolish to have ever believed that this meeting would have gone any better than it did.
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larluce · 7 months
Text
Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU
Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace Thank you for your beautiful comments! And for the ones that gave me ideas, trust me, I'm taking them into account ;)
LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 (You're here) , PART 9
A little more of "The Dragon's Call"
Arthur: (at the feast waiting anxiously because Merlin is supposed to save him from "Lady Helen" to become his servant today and he isn't there yet)
Uther: Are you alright, Arthur?
Arthur: (too quickly) Yeah, right, excelent, never better.
Uther: You've been acting strange lately.
Arthur: (thinking) Well it's not easy to act normal around your dead father and your dead sister who wanted you dead. (says) I just haven't been sleeping well. I had... nightmares. Very long nightmares.
Uther: I see... (Thinking) I hope Morgana's condition isn't contagious.
Merlin: (Finally arrives with Gaius at the feast)
Arthur: (turns and his eyes find Merlin's almost immediately)
Merlin: (Thinking, while he looks at Arthur in the distance) Why is he looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?
Arthur: (Noticing Merlin is without his neckerchief, and he is so young and so beautiful, and he doesn't have his neckerchief on!) Gods have mercy!
Morgana: (enters in her breathtaking dress)
Merlin: (stares at her, but with a mix of longing and guilt)
Gwen: She looks great, doesn't she?
Merlin: (smiling sadly) Yeah...
Gwen: Some people are just born to be queen.
Merlin: (almost shouting) NO!
Gwen: There's no need to sound so disturbed.
Merlin: (composing himself) I'm sorry just... I think she could do better than Arthur that's all. (Thinking) And with someone that is not her brother.
Gwen: He's not so bad.
Merlin: (confused cause Gwen was supposed to agree with him) What do you mean? He was bullying a servant only a few days ago!
Gwen: I remmember. You confronted him about it.
Merlin: See? A total prat.
Gwen: And he also recognised his mistake and apologised. And he didn't arrest you for insulting him in front of his knights though that's technically treason.
Merlin: Okay, maybe not a total prat, but still a prat. (Thinking, worried) He was too nice indeed. Perhaps I was too harsh on him this time?
Morgana: (seeing Arthur is watching in Merlin and Gwen's direction) Have your eye on someone?
Arthur: (Cold) No.
Morgana: (playfully) Is it Gwen? or perhaps-
Arthur: Let's sit. Lady Helen will arrive at any moment (goes to his sit)
Morgana: ... Sure (thinking, while she goes to her sit) What's wrong with him?
Uther: (making an announcement) We have enjoyed 20 years of piece and prosperity....
Arthur: (thinking, resentfully) 20 years of genocide and lies.
Uther: ...It has brought to the kingdom and myself many pleasures but few can compare to the honor of introducing Lady Helen of Mora.
Lady Helen: (enters while people clap)
Arthur: (looks at Merlin in the distance)
Merlin: (very concentrated with his eyes on the chandelier, waiting for lady Helen to stand under it)
Arthur: (smiling to himself, thinking) So that's how you did it.
Everyone falls asleep, except for Arthur who does feel sleepy but is still slightly awake for some reason, so he gets to witness when all the room is filled with spiderwebs and Merlin uses his magic to make the chandelier fall over Helen, who is soon reveal to be Mary Collins.
Arthur: (confused) What... (thinking) Why didn't I fall completely asleep?
Merlin: (whose magic hasn't been able to freeze time since he traveled back in time, but he doesn't know why) Come on, come on! (Tries again to stop time but doesn't work) Damn it! (Shouts and runs to Arthur) ARTHUR!
Mary Collins: (throws the knife at Arthur)
Merlin: (covers Arthur with his body on time and the knife stabs his back)
Arthur: (horrified) NO! (Holding Merlin as they fall to the floor) No, no, no, no! You idiot, what were you thinking?!
Gaius: (running to Merlin) Merlin!
Uther: Who is this?
Gaius: My ward. (checks Merlin) We need to move him to my tower as carefully and quickly as possible. I can't pull the knife out here, he'll bleed to death.
Merlin: (smiling weakely at Arthur) I did it. (Tears of happiness) I did... (Starts closing his eyes).
Arthur: (panic mode) No! don't you dare die on me! (carries him as Gaius instructed) You're going to be okay, you're going to be okay. Stay with me (thinking) Please, don't leave me again. I just got you back. I can't lose you again.
Time skip. Merlin wakes up in Gaius's tower and with his wound bandaged. The knife didn't puncture anything important, but apparently the blade was poisoned. Fortunately, it was a pretty common one and Gaius took care of it rather quickly. Gaius scolds him for scaring him as expected but then hugs him gently and tells him he must not do any effort for at least 2 weeks and rest. Just as Gaius leaves for some herbs, Arthur enters to check on him.
Arthur: Better do as he says. I can't have my personal manservant injuring himself.
Merlin: Personal manservant?
Arthur: My father, the king, decided to reward you for saving my life by granting you a place at the royal household.
Merlin: (happy inside, but pretending to be annoyed) As your personal manservant? Couldn't he just give me gold or something?
Arthur: (playing along) Most would consider it a great honor.
Merlin: Well, I'm not like most people.
Arthur: (laughs a little) You certainly aren't. (Gets close and checks him out little, cause he's never seen Merlin without a shirt before and damn it! is hard not to stare, but as soon as his eyes land on the bandage, he turns serious) What you did was very brave... and stupid. You shouldn't have done that.
Merlin: (still mocking) If that's your way to say "Thank you for saving my life", well, yeah, I'm starting to regret saving your royal ass.
Arthur: I'm serious. Now you're my manservant, therefore my responsability and my concern. You're not allowed to put yourself in harms way, ever, not even for me. (Thinking) specially for me.
Merlin: (bewildered at the sudden concern) Is that a rule?
Arthur: It is now. Do I make myself clear?
Merlin: (touched, he smiles) Yes, my lord. (Thinking) I would die for you a hundred times over.
Arthur: (Thinking, a wave of nostalgia invading him) "My lord"... how much I missed that. (says) Good. Now get some rest (starts leaving, but stops and turns) And Merlin.
Merlin: Yes?
Arthur: Thank you for saving my life. (Makes a small bow, smiles and leaves)
Merlin: ...
Merlin: Did he just bow to me?!! 😨
...
Some explanation: Arthur is now, not immune, but a little more resistant to some mind spells since his mind is from the future and has already passed for all those spells before. Merlin's magic is kind of weak, because the ritual Arthur did used the magic from the tree, therefore Merlin's magic to do the time travel thing, so lets say his magic is a little exhausted and needs recovering, but it just last a few days.
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traffytaffy · 4 months
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Hi I really love your writing was wondering if you could do a zoro x fem! reader
Where the reader and zoro like each other but don’t know they do. So the crew sees this wants them to get together but one day they accidentally kiss and confess without the crew knowing something like that
Thanks
Hello! Thank you so much for the request🫶
Im so sorry for how long this took, busy week + writers block hehe.
I hope i hit the nail on your request, if not, just let me know!
Zoro x fem!reader accidental kiss
❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎
They saw the glances. They saw the blushes. They saw the way you were quick to offer Zoro any use of assistance.
And they saw the way Zoro would stare at you. How he would ask you to train with him. How he always looked after you during any battle. You could handle your own of course but there was nothing wrong with someone watching your back.
The crew knew you two liked each other, but they never told you they knew. So it was no wonder why you were constantly confused when they gave each other little snickers and knowing looks to one another.
But you ignored it. And so did Zoro. But it wasn’t like you guys tried to hide it, you two were practically glued to the hip.
Work out, take naps, train, eat, work out again….work out again.. sleep so it wasnt a big surprise to anyone when the first signs became evident.
And out of everyone? It was Nami who had noticed. But Nami was not going to let this be kept to herself. As soon as she saw you blush to yourself when Zoro wiped his face with a towel after an intense…and sweaty workout, she turned to Robin who was engrossed in a book. Nami taps her and motions towards you “Look!”.
Then Robin shared to none other than Franky. Then Franky shared to Usopp, Then Ussop shared to an excited Chopper… and to the one they tried avoiding.. Luffy and we all know how Luffy is with a secret. In a blink of an eye, Sanji is already marching in anger from the kitchen.
“THAT MOSSHEAD?” He yells as Nami holds him back and scolds him within volume range so that you and Zoro wouldn’t hear.
Now after many weeks, the crew recently was recovering from a recent battle that took place on an island. Everyone took a good amount of hits but nothing too severe. You and Zoro had withstood a hefty amount of scratches that needed stitches and some rest. But as everyone knows Zoro, there is no such thing as rest.
The crew all watched from the kitchen window to you two outside. But they realized something. You guys weren’t just talking…. Your face was beet red and his eyebrows were arched and the palms of his hand was turning white on the handle of his sword.
“Surely they’re just blushing?” Usopp chimed in with shaky breath.
“OH MY GOD SHES COMING!” Chopper yells and the crew disperses as you barge in the kitchen. Everyone pretends to be doing their own thing. Usopp hiding behind the counter and Chopper hiding behind Robin who was sipping some tea. Sanji mindlessly pouring Nami a drink. Franky pretending that theres something wrong with the floorboards. Brooke fiddling with his violin. And to everyone’s luck, Luffy was asleep in the quarters recovering so they knew they could steer clear from any sudden remarks.
You walk straight to the pantry all while talking shit. “That dumbass! He’s such an asshole!”
Sanji looks at you and smirks a bit due to the fact that you were insulting Zoro.
“Oh? Did that stupid mosshead do something to yo-“
“BE QUIET!” You snap back and slam the pantry causing Sanji to flinch.
“That asshole has the audacity to tell me that he doesn’t need to rest! Doesn’t he understand that we care about him?”
“More like you care about him” Nami chips in with a smug smile in which you scowl.
“Well seems like you dont have to deal with him much longer, he’s walking off the ship” Franky states as he looks outside the window.
You turn immediately towards his direction as if it were your first sense.
“What?”
Franky nods and points. “Seems like he needs to cool his head”
You walk over and look as he walks pretty far in the village. A groan escapes your lips and you rub your temples.
“Damnit! Last time he did this, he got lost for two days! I have to go follow him. That idiot!” You announce as you leave the kitchen, leaving the rest of the crew to glance at each other.
Meanwhile, you dash off the Thousand Sunny and into the village. Through the crowd of people you can faintly see little bits of green hair. You push through the townsfolk and follow after him but the little bits vanish the moment you blink. Your vision scans the area and catch him in the corner of your eye make a left turn. You look towards the direction he headed and see a forest of tall green trees, the size of a giant.
“Where is he going?” You mutter under your breath as you turn the same left corner.
The view was much more clearer now as the merchant stands and houses disappeared and you’re met with the beauty of the tall trees and the brown leaves that made a satisfying crunch noise.
Your speed elevated as you realized you were gaining distance between yourself and Zoro.
“Zoro! Wait up!”
But it fell on deaf ears as he continued walking and took a swig from the bottle of booze in his hand.
“Zoro! I know you can hear me!”
You start jogging towards him, and as you get closer and closer, his body tenses.
“Dont ignore me!”
His face twists in annoyance.
“Zoro! Turn around! You know you were the asshole!” You yell as you get eerily close to him. He knew you were close. He didn’t need to use his haki to know that, or more like have the feeling of it. After minutes of “nagging”, yelling, and reprimanding him, he cant take it anymore. His mind could not physically handle all those words spewing like rapid-fire for another minute.
“Woman, what the hell do you-“ he turns around abruptly, completely forgetting the close proximity you two were in. You took this chance to get closer to his face, to get your point across but what you two were not expecting was the softness of each other’s lips intertwining with one another. Lips meeting in a tender and lingering kiss, one that was hesitant but exploratory. It was an intertwining of warmth and longing, filled with hidden passion that had been held back all this time. His calloused and used hands that protectively held a sword and a bottle was now fulfilling its purpose by cupping your face, pulling you deeper and deeper.
A shiver runs down your spine as you two finally pull away in pants. His eyes meet yours and he looks a bit shocked.
“I-i didn’t mean to…”
“Me neither.” You stutter back but then scoff. “You cant be that stupid as to not know I’ve felt this way for a while”
“You’re no better.” Zoro says softly, hinting that the feelings were mutual. “Don’t know how much ive kept in.”
You smile at that and say what you two were thinking, “So…that makes us…?”
“We’ll get to that later.” He responds bluntly with a small smirk playing on his lips.
You nod and you two stand there awkwardly, staring at each other eyes, cheeks flushed and hearts beating at a rapid pace. Zoro leans in closer.
“But i was serious. You really need to rest Zoro… you just got out of a fight….”
“Shut up!” He exclaims as he takes your face again and his lips meet yours once more, shutting you up. He kisses you as if he was trying to remember your lips, the taste, the feeling… everything.
The setting was not helping either as the sun was dipping in the horizon, the golden hue shining through the large trees and onto the calming faces that was of you and Zoro.
Suddenly, there was a rustling of leaves and you two instinctively pull away.
“Dammit.” You huff.
“Argue”
“What?”
“Argue with me” Zoro repeats.
You nod, seemingly understanding what he was referring to without further words needed. A deep breath is taken and the words come launching out again.
“Seriously! Is it that hard to just sit down and not train as much!” You yell as Robin and Franky come to view.
Franky facepalms as he realizes you are still “arguing” with him even after all this time. But when your gaze shifts to Robin, thats another story.
Robin has a knowing smile, that lovely lady somehow knows things even when you don’t want to. Franky walks over, a bit curious as to why you and Zoro had such deep blushes on your faces. But right now was not the time.
“Hey, Had to come find you guys. Marine boat spotted. We have to get going.”
You and Zoro nod and follow behind Robin and Franky out the small little forest you were in. There was a distance between you and the other two and you didn’t mind one bit as you walked alongside Zoro, fingertips brushing with one another’s.
It was a silent way back to the ship, only noises being the tapping of shoes on the ground and onto the deck. But when Zoro and Franky walk away, Zoro’s hand brushes by your fingertips one last time and you suddenly get a thought.
“Wait…how did you know where to find us?” You ask with wide eyes as you turn to face Robin. If they found them that easily… does that mean her and Franky saw what happened?
Robin chuckles and gives a teasing smile.
“We wont tell.”
She winks at you… and all you can do is groan and strut away with embarrassment. But even so, your stomach flutters with butterflies for what’s to come.
127 notes · View notes
littlejuicebox · 7 months
Text
The other kind of kink.
Written as a giveaway prize for @chaoticgoodstuff! Hope you enjoy the final version posted here! <3
Pairing: Spawn Astarion x Female Tav
Summary: Astarion didn't quite know how to form a relationship with Tav after she rejected him at the tiefling party. But he begins to realize that perhaps he has other expertise that may be of use to the woman. Namely, curly hair care.
Word Count: 4K
Tags/Warnings: fluff, sweet astarion, brief mentions of astarion's trauma/past, lightly ooc astarion, idk what else it's mostly fluff tbh lol
-----
“So which path do you think we should take, soldier? Underdark or Mountain Pass? Either way, I’m ready to slash some baddies!” Karlach says, swinging her ax for show as the two warrior women chat while Gale finishes cooking dinner. 
It would be at least another hour and the women were starving.
“Hmm…” Tav murmurs, looking up at her tiefling friend from where she had been sharpening her great sword. It certainly needed a bit of attention, after slashing through so many goblins a few days ago, “I haven’t decided yet, any suggestions?” 
Karlach shrugs and shakes her head before turning to look at Astarion, where he is perched on a log, filing his nails, not more than a few feet away, “Oi! What do you reckon, Fangs? Underdark or Mountain Pass?”
The silver-haired elf glances up from his task momentarily, assessing Tav and Karlach, scarlet eyes narrowed in thought, “Both sound equally atrocious. But if the great Archdruid Halsin said the Underdark is the safer route – which I find impossible to believe – then, I suppose that is my vote. Work smarter, not harder and all that.”
Tav nods, considering the rogue’s suggestion, and with a final rub of whetstone on metal, sheaths her great sword as she says, “Astarion’s right. Underdark, it is.”
“Well of course I’m right, darling! Aren’t I always?” Astarion responds with a pleased little chuckle as he tucks away his nail file. 
Inside, his confidence glows at the small bit of validation from their camp leader. He’d felt as if her view of him may have changed after the very awkward encounter they’d had at the tiefling party a few days ago, when he’d drunkenly propositioned her and she’d adamantly refused. He’d thought their relationship – could he call it friendship? – all but ruined after that blunder. Apparently he’d somehow misread the signs, and she wasn’t looking for sex like every other individual he’d ever known. 
Astarion had considered their prior interactions dancing on the border of flirtatious, but Tav indicated she preferred to focus on their cause, not on intermingling with her campmates. He thought Tav a bit odd after that interaction, and admittedly felt a bit insulted in the moment. He was gorgeous, why wouldn’t she jump at the opportunity he dangled in front of her? 
But, in the soberness of the following morning, Astarion decided he could work within her parameters; he’d just have to find another way to secure her favoritism. In fact, in some ways he was thankful she rejected him. 
“Yeah, yeah, you’re a genius,” Tav responds with a laugh, rolling her eyes at the rogue as she stands and stretches, “Well, I’m off to clean up before dinner, if either of you care to join?”
Karlach waves her hand dismissively, “Nah! I’ll do that after dinner. But can I borrow your whetstone for my ax?”
Tav nods at the tiefling, watching as Karlach grabs the stone and walks off toward her tent, ax in hand, before turning to address her other campmate, “And what about you, Astarion?”
The silver-haired elf shrugs and nods; at this point he’s taking any opportunity he can to spend time with Tav. The more he’s with her and gets to know her, the closer she will get to him, and the more secure he will feel. 
Or at least, that’s his only Plan B. Since Plan A went up in flames. 
He crouches to gather his bathing supplies from his pack before coming closer to the warrior woman currently waiting for him, “I suppose I could do with a bit of a bath. It isn’t hair wash day, but–” 
“It isn’t hair wash day?” Tav interjects, her eyebrows furrowing at the vampire, “You don’t wash your hair every day? Isn’t that… gross?”
The rogue pauses and blinks at the woman, tilting his head just a fraction as he assesses her, “Darling, please tell me you are not washing your hair every day. I understand on the days we are soaked in blood and guts it is a necessity… but, certainly you haven’t washed your hair every single day for the past three days when we have done nothing apart from lounge in camp and prepare to move onto the next part of our journey… right?” 
Tav cocks her head to the side, mirroring Astarion’s bewildered expression as she asks, “Should I… not be?”
That explains quite a bit, Astarion thinks, as his eyes roam over the unruly curls springing from the crown of Tav’s head. He’d thought it was perhaps an odd stylistic choice, or she simply did not care about the state of her hair, but maybe it was merely ignorance. Perhaps no one ever showed her how to care for the red, curly locks cascading like a lion’s mane around her face.
A small wave of sympathy crosses Astarion’s heart; he internally smashes it down before the wave grows into a tsunami. Best to not care too much about this woman, she could turn into a mindflayer at any moment, after all. And then he’d have to slice her to ribbons, as previously agreed upon.
“Ah.. well, darling. It isn’t wrong, exactly,” He starts, his eyes shifting away from Tav’s face as he tries to delicately address the matter, “It’s just… with a hair texture like yours, you aren’t doing yourself any favors.”
Tav simply blinks in response, her expression vacant; she is not understanding Astarion’s meaning.
The rogue sighs and shakes his head slightly. Well, he at least tried to be delicate, but that did not seem to sink in. More direct, it is. 
A vague gesture to his friend’s red curls and then Astarion explains, “Your hair is dry, Tav. That is why it is difficult to maintain and why you’ve broken more than one comb trying to drag it through that unruly mane.”
A flicker of embarrassment crosses Tav’s face and the rogue groans. He doesn’t know how to navigate feelings and friendships; his relationships with his siblings had been much less work… not that he particularly enjoyed those relationships or cared if the other spawn liked him. But he wanted Tav to like him, if only for his own motives, of course. 
“It’s really… not all that bad, darling. But perhaps I could help you, give you a few pointers? I think your hair could be quite gorgeous – your best feature, even, given the proper care. It’s rare to see a natural redhead like you, it already captures a lot of attention… let’s make it something awe-inspiring.” Astarion says, gently, his hand coming out to tug at one frizzy curl as he tries to smooth over the insult he just threw at his campmate. 
But, hells, someone had to tell her eventually. Even his siblings wouldn’t let him walk around with such unruly locks. 
“O-oh, sure, okay,” Tav agrees, still trying to overcome the embarrassment as her own hand comes to rake through her hair and gets caught in a nest of tangles, instead. She grimaces; Astarion had a point, it seemed, “Do I need to bring anything special?”
“Let me go back to my tent and grab my hair washing supplies, I’ll meet you down by the river in a bit, hm?” Astarion responds with a small smile before turning back toward his tent and disappearing within the shelter to rummage through his vast collection of shampoos, oils, perfumes, and soaps.
Tav merely hums in agreement and then heads in the opposite direction, toward the camp-designated bathing spot, towel in hand. As she’s walking, she pulls a curl in front of her eyes and examines it with a new perspective. Gods, it really was dry.
*
When Astarion makes his way to the river, he finds Tav waist-deep in the rushing water, still in her smallclothes and soaping her arms. Her back is turned to him, and the sun is catching her hair in a flattering light. Autumnal colors of red, orange, burgundy, and wine dance around her crown in the form of spiraled locks, and the elf cannot help but admire the natural beauty bestowed upon the woman.
Her hair was a gorgeous tone, reminiscent of the warmth of a fire or a deep, satisfying vintage wine. But it wasn’t just Tav’s hair that was attractive… she really was quite striking. With the woman unaware of his presence, Astarion took a quick moment to admire the rippling muscles in her back and the strong, lithe arms she used to carry her greatsword.
No one with working eyes — or eye, perhaps, —  could deny that Tav was attractive. After all, there was a reason Astarion had chosen to proposition her over the others in the first place. 
But, sex or not, the woman certainly seemed to favor him, which meant more than once since their journey began, she’d sliced clean through an enemy at his back, and fed him servings of her own blood. 
So now, it was his turn to repay her somehow, some way. And if Tav didn’t accept his physical talents, well, then at least she would accept this. 
“Hello, darling,” Astarion calls, causing the woman to turn and acknowledge him with a small smile and wave. He quickly places his bathing kit on the river bank and undresses to just his briefs before tentatively placing a foot in the water. It was warm enough to be tolerable, so the rogue shrugged and grabbed his wooden comb and conditioner before sinking into the water and wading toward his campmate. 
“Alright, now, get down into the water,” The elf directs as he shakes the small bottle of conditioner in his hands, prepping the contents.
“But I thought you said I’m not supposed to wash my hair every–” Tav begins, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she eyes the bottle, before the displeased glare from Astarion causes the question to die on her lips. 
“Do you want my help, or do you want to continue to look like a sheep desperately in need of shearing, darling?” Astarion asks with a soft sigh as he pops the top of the bottle open and gives it a whiff, “Just bend down and trust me. Oh and here, hold these for a moment.”
Tav grabs the comb and bottle she’s offered and then does what she’s asked. When she’s shoulder-deep in the water, she feels Astarion’s hand guiding her to tip her head back. She follows the directive and is soon greeted by the vision of Astarion’s face hovering above hers, scarlet eyes intensely concentrated as he drags his hand through her curls.
“Your hair texture is a bit different from mine…” He muses idly, as he works to fully saturate the thick locks of hair on his companion’s head with water, “But this conditioner should work, for now. We’ll have to find something better suited to you, when the opportunity allows.” 
Astarion takes the comb from Tav’s hand without a word and uses the tool and his own fingers to work out some of the ever-present knots in the woman’s hair. She watches him for a moment before closing her eyes and simply allowing Astarion to work at the task. Before long, the elf is gently guiding her head back up, into a straight position, and trading the comb for the bottle.
“Close your eyes,” He directs, and Tav obliges again as the vampire places a generous amount of rosemary-scented conditioner in his hand. Then he gives the bottle back to Tav, rubs his hands together, and begins to work the creamy liquid through her hair, starting at the ends and slowly wandering up toward her scalp. About midway through he’s reaching for the bottle again, “Who knew your hair was this thick? You’re about to use up all of my favorite conditioner, darling.” 
Tav frowns slightly at this comment, trying to turn and face Astarion before he quickly redirects her head with a soft click of his tongue, “I’m sorry… I can buy you more when we run into our next merchant.”
“Oh, it’s no matter. I stole this bottle anyway– I’m sure I can steal another along the way,” Astarion says with a slight dismissive flip of his hand, “Besides, I think you need it far more than I do, right now.” 
His fingers trail up to the crown of her head as he speaks, and Tav’s eyes flutter closed once again as Astarion begins to massage the product into her roots. He moves in sections, parting her hair every few inches and attentively working the conditioner into her scalp. The sensation was quite enjoyable; if the water were a bit warmer, Tav might have fallen asleep under Astarion’s gentle, methodical touch. 
Far too quickly for her liking, Astarion completes the task and gently pats her shoulder to signal he’s done for now. He grabs his comb and what little remains of his favorite hair product from the woman. 
“You need to let that sit for a few minutes, at least, little sheep.” Astarion directs before wading back to the river bank and dropping his supplies with the rest of his things. Tav watches as he grabs his own bar of soap and begins to bathe himself.
“How did you learn about all this?” The woman calls to the rogue as she wades through the water, mostly for something to do as she waits. 
Astarion hums as he considers the question; there is a pause in the conversation as he drops his bar of soap back along the bank and uses his hand to rinse the soapy remnants along his body. Tav cannot help but follow his fingers as they graze along his chest and arms, dispersing droplets of water that drizzle down the lines of his abs and back into the river. 
“I wish I could tell you how I learned, but I can’t recall…” He murmurs, his voice sounding a bit far away as he thinks, “It feels like something ingrained in me like speaking Elvish or the ability to read, for instance; someone must have taught me… I suppose one of my parents, or someone else in my family.”
A small look of sadness flits across Tav’s face but she quickly hides it before her companion notices, knowing that Astarion will balk at anything resembling pity. She often forgets how little memory he has of his past before Cazador, how much he’d endured until now, and how much of himself he’d lost in the process of it all. He was so good at pretending to be normal and happy-go-lucky… but then, they were quite alike in that aspect, weren’t they? It was easier to be the unbothered goofball than to be anything that resembled fragility, wasn’t it? 
Tav chooses to not respond to his answer, knowing nothing she says can truly make his situation better, and instead grabs a conditioner-covered curl, “Can I rinse this now?” 
Astarion nods as he climbs out of the water and begins gathering his own things, “Yes, go rinse it out – make sure there’s none of that left in your hair, and then come find me back at camp for the next part. I’m going back — it’s growing a bit cold.”
“Next part?” Tav responds with a soft whine, watching as Astarion towels himself off, “There’s more?”
“Darling, if you want your hair to look even close to as good as mine, there is a lot of work involved. Now hurry up, so we can be done before Gale is ready to feed you whatever disastrous concoction he’s made tonight,” Astarion says, his tone a bit joking as he begins slipping into a new set of camp clothes.
The woman groans and obeys the rogue’s directions, turning away as Astarion strips off his undergarments to replace them with new ones, and wading once again toward the deeper water. Tav dunks herself down into the river and begins running her fingers through spirals of hair, massaging out any slippery residue she finds along the way. With the amount of hair she had, it took several minutes, and by the time she was finished, Astarion was already gone. The sun was just beginning to kiss the earth in its descent toward night.
Tav quickly toweled herself off and dressed. Then she wrapped her hair up in the towel, twisting it around her locks in a turban-like fashion before collecting her belongings and making the short journey back to camp.
*
“There you are, darling,” Astarion calls as he catches sight of Tav, before patting a stump near his tent, “Come over here so I can finish defining your curls.” 
Tav furrows her eyebrows in confusion, because she has no idea what Astarion means, but she’s learned to simply shut up and go along with whatever he says for this entire endeavor. As she comes closer, she notices the elf has laid out even more supplies for her hair.
Did it really require all of this?
She sighs and takes a seat. Astarion immediately sets to work, placing a dollop of some sort of creamy pomade-like mixture in his hand and working it through her hair again. After that, he begins sectioning her hair into pieces, directing Tav every once and a while to hold this or that piece as he combs through her locks. 
“Ouch–” Tav hisses as the elf seems to be pulling at the base of her scalp. She moves to jerk away and Astarion huffs impatiently behind her, one of his hands coming to press against her forehead and prevent her movements. 
“Darling, for gods sakes, hold still.There isn’t beauty without a bit of pain, and honestly, for such a warrior, you’re being a wimp,” he chastises before continuing on with the task.
“What are you doing?” Tav asks through a sharp intake of breath, scrunching her eyes closed as she tries to endure the uncomfortable sensation of her hair being repeatedly tugged at the root. 
“Defining your curls, dear. I’m twisting them around my finger, see?” Astarion responds before coming in front of her and pulling a piece so he can demonstrate the process. Tav watches with a mixture of interest and confusion as he continues, “This will help all your curls to look more uniform. But seeing as you’ve done very little to your hair in all this time, I suppose it would make sense that you’re a bit tender-headed. I promise I am trying to be gentle.” 
Tav grimaces as Astarion continues his task, letting out little squeaks of pain that the rogue pointedly ignores. Eventually, Karlach comes over to return the whetstone she borrowed. The tiefling lingers to chat, which distracts Tav just enough to mostly forget about the pain in her scalp. When Astarion announces he’s done, the woman is genuinely surprised and moves to touch her hair; she is met with a quick swat from the elf.
“Ah-ah!” He admonishes before grabbing a bottle and spraying her hair with another rosemary scented product, “You can’t touch it until it’s completely dry.” 
“Why the hell not?” Tav groans again, suddenly growing impatient. Her stomach growls, and she sighs as she realizes she is also growing hangry. 
“You’ll undo all my hard work! Just wait.” Astarion responds as he stows away all his beauty products, “And anyway, it looks like Gale is just about done with dinner. We can go sit by the fire as you eat and that will dry your hair faster.”
*
Dinner was… acceptable. Gale did the best he could with the two rabbits Astarion hunted that morning, a handful of potatoes, one onion, and a couple of carrots. They did not have the luxury of seasonings most of the time, so it was quite typical for the nightly stews to taste gamey… tonight was no exception. 
Astarion takes a few drinks from Tav’s wrist after she finishes dinner. Once he retracts his fangs from her flesh, he lifts his hand to gently feel her curls. After a moment assessing his creation, he grins at the woman and says, “They’re finally dry, darling. Took long enough, hm? Now, let’s get you in front of a mirror so you can see my masterpiece.” 
Tav is flabbergasted by what she sees in the mirror. For the first time in… well, ever, her hair looks like it belongs to one of the beautiful maidens in an oil painting. Her hand comes up to gently touch the soft, spiraled locks and confirm that this perfect head of hair is, in fact, on her head and not somebody else's. 
“What do you think?” Astarion prompts, his voice containing the smallest bits of apprehension as he lifts a hand to fuss with Tav’s hair, placing it just so.
“It’s great,” Tav responds, her face breaking into a wide smile that causes the tension in Astarion’s shoulders to dissipate, “Thank you… really.” 
Astarion smiles and nods, suddenly unsure how to respond to the genuine gratitude in Tav’s voice. So instead he chuckles a bit and rolls his eyes before saying, “What on earth would you do without me?”
“Continue to look like a sheep in need of shearing, I guess,” Tav jokes, sticking her tongue out as she gently bumps her elbow into Astarion’s rib in jest, “That was mean, by the way.”
“I prefer honest, darling,” Astarion quips with a small chuckle, his fingers still fussing with the woman’s curls, “And anyway, you no longer look like a little sheep. You look beautiful.” 
Tav is not used to being called beautiful. Strong or brave, perhaps, but beautiful… never. Until now. The compliment catches her off guard and her eyes widen for just a moment. The elf notices her shock and his brows crinkle as he pauses the primping to analyze the woman’s face. 
“Certainly you know you’re beautiful…” The rogue continues, his hands starting to work at the curls again, “I’m sure I’m not the only–”
Astarion trails off when Tav shakes her head from side to side as her face begins to blush, the shade of her skin suddenly resembling the shade of her hair. Her voice is quiet, and crackling with a bit of emotion as she says, “No one says that. They just call me strong, or brave… or fierce.”
The elf tilts his head to the side as his eyes roam across Tav’s face once again. How interesting, he thought, to be lauded for things apart from your beauty. He’d never experienced such a thing, himself… though he thinks he would like to. But it almost appeared as if Tav had the reverse experience to his. 
“Well… surely you can be strong and beautiful, hm?” Astarion asks with a raised eyebrow, trying once again to smooth out the awkwardness he felt creeping between them, though he didn’t exactly know why it often felt like that. He moves to affectionately tug another lock of Tav’s hair and smiles playfully, “And with hair like this, dear, no one can deny your beauty. It would be an insult to my skills, frankly.” 
Tav snorts a laugh at this, eliciting a genuine, fang-filled grin from the rogue. Then he produces a bandana from his pocket and flourishes it in front of the woman, “Now let’s get your hair wrapped up. I’m exhausted and I want to go to bed, but I will not allow you to ruin my masterpiece overnight with all your thrashing about in your bedroll. You’re quite noisy, you know? And you snore.”
“I do not!” Tav protests as Astarion clicks his tongue at her and shakes his head, all while bundling her curls into the bandana and deftly tying a knot to keep it all in place. 
“You’re a terrible liar, dear, I’m surprised your nose isn’t growing this instant,” The elf murmurs, his finger coming to affectionately boop the woman’s nose before he bids goodnight and wanders back to his tent for bed.
Tav rubs her own nose as she yawns and heads back to her own tent, on the other side of camp. She tucks herself into her bedroll and smiles as she stares up at the canvas ceiling of her shelter. Someone really said she was beautiful; a small giggle escapes her lips as she thinks about it. 
Before long, Tav falls asleep. And for the first time in a while, she sleeps peacefully, without any thrashing about or snoring. Perhaps it was because her hair – and her heart – were both impeccably well-taken care of tonight. 
179 notes · View notes
bonefall · 10 months
Note
So, I'm writing an essay on the whole STATE of misogyny in WC for one of my university classes, and I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of things! No pressure of course, please feel free to say no!
A) Could I reference your good takes with appropriate harvard referencing and links back to your blog?
B) Are there any specific moments from the books that you think should be covered the most?
C) The end result will be a visual essay, so it's like those fun infographics people on Tumblr make on like ADHD and stuff, so when it's done, would you like to be tagged to read it?
(Sorry for anon, I'm nervous lmao, but if you'd be more comfortable I'll resend this off anon)
AAY good topic! You've got a lot to work with. Absolutely feel free to reference anything I've written, and tag me when you're done.
While you're here and about to write something so legitimate, I'm also going to recommend you check out Sunnyfall's video on gender in Warrior Cats. She breaks down the arcs into numbers, directly comparing the amount of lines mollies have to toms, and examining the archetypes women are usually allowed to be.
I think it's a must-have citation in a paper about WC misogyny.
...and, I think it's insightful to look at the WCRP Forum thread about the video. Note how the respondents immediately come into the thread to complain about how the video is too long so they didn't watch it, dismissing Sunnyfall as not being entertaining enough to hold their attention, even whining that she starts with statistics to prove her point, which I'm convinced she did exactly because they would have cried that she "had no evidence" if she didn't.
I am not a scholar, so I don't know how to document or prove that the books have an impact on the audience outside of anecdotes. But I think if you do write a section about fandom, it would be worth mentioning the in-universe and metatextual apologia for Ashfur and its reflection in the real world discourse, the authorial killing of Ferncloud because of fan complains, and the utter defensiveness against the discussion of misogyny you see outside of Tumblr.
You may also want to check out Cheek by Jowl, a collection of 8 essays about sexism in xenofiction by Ursula K. Le Guin. There's a very unique manifestation of authorial bias in animal fiction, having a lot to do with how the author views "the natural world," and it's worth understanding even though Warrior Cats are so heavily anthropomorphized.
So... Warrior Cats Misogyny
I think discussing individual instances can be helpful, but I'd implore you to keep in mind what's REALLY bad about WC's misogyny is framing and the bigger picture.
Bumble's death is shocking and insulting, but it's not just that she died. It's that the POV Gray Wing sees her as a fat, useless bitch who took his mate so she deserves to be dragged back to a domestic abuser, and he's right because the writers love him so much. It's that Bumble's torture and killing only factors into how it's going to hurt a man's reputation.
It's how Clear Sky hitting, emotionally manipulating, or killing the following women,
Bright Stream (pressured into leaving her home and family)
Storm (controlled her movements and yelled at her in public)
Misty (killed for land, children stolen)
Bumble (beaten unconscious, blamed nonsensically on a fox)
Alder (child abuse, hit when she refused to attack her brother)
Falling Feather (scratched on the face, subjected to public abuse and humiliation)
Tall Shadow (thrown into murderous crowd, attacked on-sight in heaven)
Rainswept Flower ("blacked out" in anger and murdered in cold blood)
Moth Flight (scratched on the face for saying denying medical treatment is mean, taken hostage in retaliation against mother for the death of his own child, which he caused)
Willow Tail (eyes gouged out for "stirring up trouble")
Is seen as totally understandable, forgivable, or not even questioned at all, when killing Gray Wing in an act of rage would have been "one step too far" with the ridiculous Star Line.
"Kill me and live with the memory, and then let the stars know it would only matter if a single one of your murder victims was a man."
It's the way that fathers who physically abuse their kids out of their ego (Clear Sky, Sandgorse, Crowfeather) aren't treated anywhere near the same level of narrative disgust and revulsion the series has for "bad moms", even if they're displaying symptoms of a post-partum mood disorder (depression, anxiety, and rage), an umbrella of mental illnesses 20% of all new mothers experience but are heavily stigmatized with (Sparkpelt, Palebird, Lizardstripe).
It's Crookedstar's Promise giving him two evil maternal figures in a single book, while bending over backwards to make every man in a position of power still look likeable in spite of the fact they're enabling Rainflower's abuse. Leader Hailstar is soso sorry that he has to change Stormkit's name for some reason, in spite of leaders being unaccountable dictators the other 99% of the time, and Deputy Shellheart functionally does nothing to stop his own son from being abused or even do much parenting before or after the fact.
It's the way men's parental struggles are seen sympathetically, and they don't have to "pay for it" like their female counterparts (Crookedstar's PPD vs Sparkpelt's PPD, how Daisy and Cinders are held responsible for Smoky and Whisper being deadbeats, Yellowfang's endless guilt for killing her son vs Onestar's purpose in life to kill his own), even to the point where a father doesn't have to have raised their kids at all to have a magical innate emotional connection to them (Tree's father Root, Tom the Wifebeater, Tigerstar and Hawkfrost).
It's less speaking lines and agency for female characters, being reduced to accessories in the lives of their mates and babies, women getting less diversity in their personalities, with even major ex-POV characters eventually becoming "sweet mom" tropes.
You could zoom in on any one of these examples and have an amoeba try to argue with you that "Oh THIS makes sense because X" or "Ah well my headcanon perfectly explains this thing" or "MY mother/girlfriend was abusive/toxic/neglectful and I've decided that you are personally attacking ME by having issues with how a character was written or utilized," but the beleaguered point,
That I keep trying to hammer in, over and over, across books worth of posts,
Is that these are trends. More than just a couple one-off examples. It's the fabric that has been woven over years, showing a lack of interest in, or even active prejudice of, women on behalf of the writers.
LONG STANDING trends, which have only gotten worse as the series progressed. From Yellowfang being harshly punished with a born evil son who ruins her life in TPB and the mistreatment of Squirrelpaw that begins in TNP, all the way up to the 7 Fridgenings of DOTC and Sparkpelt's PPD being a major character motivator for her son Nightheart.
So, I would stress that in your paper, and structure it less as "the Sparkpelt slide" and "the Yellowfang slide," and more as "The paternal vs maternal abuse" slide, and "the violence against women" slide. They're really big issues, there's tons of examples for each individual thing.
Anyway to leave off on a funny, look at this scene in Darkest Hour that I find unreasonably hilarious,
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"Everyone who matters to me; my truest friend, my sensible and loyal warrior, the wisest deputy I've ever known, and 2 women." -Firestar, glorious idiot
He can't even think of a single trait for either of them what the hell does "formidable pair" mean lmaooo, when I finished a reread about a year ago this line killed me on impact.
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dullgecko · 1 month
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I felt compelled to do language headcanons and got carried away… Sorry!
Gorgug speaks in a mix of Gnomish and Orcish when he gets really into an artificing project or when he’s genuinely pissed(not in a Rage, just actually mad), like to the point it’s unintelligible even with Adaine casting Understand Language.
Fig does something similar when she gets mad just a mix of Elvish and Infernal, though it’s easier for Adaine and Fabian to understand that one. Everyone knows not to bother her if she’s mumbling in both languages since it takes a lot to get her to that point, usually Ayda has to come in and calm her down.
Riz and Gorgug both have a thing where they forget the word for something in Common and try to come up with what they think it is, with wild descriptions and weird names for it. Meanwhile Fig and Kristen are laughing at each attempt, Adaine is begging them to just say it in their respective languages while she’s casting Understand Languages, and Fabian is genuinely playing along trying to guess what they’re saying(He is SO far off).
The Thistlesprings have that country-like accent because Gnomish has a similar sound to it, the only times they speak in Common is when Gorgug has friends over or when they’re around people who don’t understand Gnomish. So by default Gorgug has a slight country accent, though it isn’t noticeable unless he says certain words.(I’m giving a reason for the “Even cowgirls get the blues” if you couldn’t tell.)
(Not language related but eh) Riz, Fig, Gorgug, and Ragh all make animalistic noises. Often they purr or growl softly when all the bad kids are in a cuddle pile or when they’re just cozy, Ragh is the loudest.
Adaine got taught how to howl and growl correctly by Jawbone, specifically how to do it in an affectionate way. Tracker cried when she came back home and was immediately greeted by both Jawbone and Adaine howling their love for her. Kristen was very confused, then later started to learn it as well, for Tracker.
Fabian can’t speak Halfling, he only new the songs Cathilda sang to him as a kid and realized he should probably try and learn it. He went to one if the Halfling teachers during Junior year and begged him to teach him the language so he could surprise Cathilda with a proper greeting when she got back home. He still wasn’t very good at it when she arrived, he mixed up a word and ended up calling her a canoe, but she still cried at her beautiful boy’s effort.
Kristen sometimes just sits and stares when one of the others rant in a different language, then when they’re finished she goes, “I’m sure you’re very correct in whatever opinion you just had.” and moves on. It’s very therapeutic to rant to someone who can’t understand what you’re saying and still supports your opinions, apparently.
Oh its beautiful, i love it. Multi-lingual bad kids my beloved.
Gorgugs orcish isnt anywhere near as fluent as his gnomish or common, but its gotten a lot better since they became friends with Ragh and his mum. He tries to chat with her in orcish whenever they meet, and she helps him with his pronounciation. He mostly has trouble with the more gutteral sounds, but he's getting better at roaring with Ragh and his mums help. Riz helps him practice too whenever they're out of town, because he ALSO knows Orcish but he never elaborates on how he is fluent when asked (he used to play chess with some elderly orcs who lived down the hallway from him while his mum was at work, and he's a quick study).
He enjoys speaking it when he gets genuinely pissed because gnomish just sounds hilarious when spoken with anger. They dont have good swear words, the harshest one that exists in gnomish is the equivilent of 'fiddlesticks'.
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Infernal is also an awesome language to be pissed off in, it allows for a lot of harsh consonants and yelling and maybe a little horrifying screaming. Elvish however is great when you really want to insult someone in a way that would cause psychic damage. Combining the two is /incredibly/ satisfying because you can call someone a "*screeches of the damned* piece of shit whos parentage is *horrifying chattering* and he deserves to rot forever in the foresaken bowels of the inferno where he'll be turned into a *hissing and clicking*". Riz looking over from where he's half-ignoring her and going 'oh damn, goblin also uses that last one" before adding another note to a document he and Fig regularly update called 'words shared by infernal and goblin'.
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"You know, the THING. You put it on food. Tastes good, will kill you if you have too much." "Chilli powder?" "NO its a rock. it literally translates out to tasty rock in goblin." "What the fuck are you on about who eats rocks." SALT, the answer was salt.
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All of Gorgugs extended family live out in farming country away from the city. His parents took him to visit a lot over summer breaks when he was little and still fit inside their houses (he loved watching the ponies as a kid, and the accent became well and truely stuck). Now he'd be too big to get through the front door, but at reunions they usually clear a space out in the barn where he can sleep.
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Riz, Fig, Gorgug and Ragh making more animalistic noises is pretty well known amoung the group. Ragh and Gorgug definitely purr and growl, but when REALLY pissed off they can also roar and bellow in a way that other people can feel in their chests.
Riz and Fig have definitly started doing it more the longer they've known the others (Riz because he was trying VERY hard to not seem super monster-y but is now a lot more comfortable being himself and Fig because she's still becoming more infernal slowly). There are still some noises the others have only heard recently though, which both happened over about ten seconds. Riz had been hanging out with the others at the mall, and both himself and Fig had stepped away from the others to get refills on their drinks. None of the others really saw what started it but a stranger had grabbed and picked up Riz which made him make a screeching-yowling noise of pain and anger so loud that they heard it from across the food court. Figs own infernal snarl of rage was almost as loud as the sound of the assholes nose breaking when she promptly headbutt him at full strength to make him drop the goblin. Riz managed to get a good swipe in at the guys achilies before promptly disappearing while Fig ran.
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Jawbone loves his kids, and Adaine loves him back. She feels a little silly howling everytime he comes home but its a good kind of silly. It feels a little LESS silly when half the house is doing it together.
She has to be careful with the growling though, and who she growls at. What might be a fun and playful cadence for Jawbone and Tracker made Riz's pupils contract to slits and his ears flatten backwards before he clocked it was her and put the pieces together (Oh its Adaine, she is not pissed off and threatening me. Wait why the fuck did she growl at me?).
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Fabian spoke halfling before he spoke common, but forgot a LOT of it as he got older (but he never forgot the words to those songs). He spends months using fantasy duolinguo to bring his fluency back up and, after surprising Cathilda with how good he's gotten, starts getting proper lessons from her as well (she is by far more terrifying than the language bird, so he never misses practice time).
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Kristen knows some elvish, but not well enough to parse the more rapid-fire ranting that she sits through so she just nods and makes general noises of agreement at points she thinks are appropriate.
Riz she has ZERO hope of understanding because they dont shift their vocal register to a level she can hear the entire time when they're really pissed off (there are a lot of subsonics that elves and orcs can only JUST pick up, but her human hearing has no hope), even after the whole party starts learning goblin in secret to surprise Riz later. She smiles, nods, and makes him a new coffee when his old one runs out.
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nectardaddy · 2 months
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mirage | suna rintarou
three | high pain tolerance ★
masterlist
ignore timestamps
cw/notes: yn and suna are both messy, hurt feelings, self destructive behavior from both sides, misguided anger, smoking, we can all throw rocks at him it's ok but I swear he gets a redemption arc
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Suna Rintarou, a man that used to be nothing but kind, and shared sweet words after stolen kisses. The man who used to have a polaroid, perhaps erring on slightly risqué, in the back of his phone case of her, which he was never ashamed to show off. Who's adoring sentiments started to dwindle after a full year of loving and caring, leaving a strained relationship hanging in the balance. Suna Rintarou would be be the smoking gun for the woman next to him, who already smoldered to begin with.
Maybe it was the shot of rum she took still swimming in her veins, doing nothing else but knocking a bit of nerves off. Possibly the pot, that's smell still lingered within the threads of her clothes. Which ever it was, it caused her skin to crawl every time someone so much as brushed against her. It was him. Of course it was him. Slammed packed to a rectangular table, forcing her to swallow her pride and sit reluctantly close to him, a proximity that made her want to vomit. So, of course, it was his knee that had to keep touching her own.
Eyes scanned the table as her jaw tightened, keeping her mouth shut was an olympic level sport. While the others around her chattered, laughing and getting drunk as moments passed, she locked eyes with familiar brown ones across from her in boredom. A wry smirk pulling at his lips as their eyes met, untoned blonde hair falling in front of flushed features from liquor; fighting a smile in return because she knew the orgins all too well. He wanted a show.
His smirk was all she needed to dive head first into the spectacle her and her "partner" always became; because when his, god forsaken, knee touched her again she scowled. "If your knee touches me one more time, I swear to god-" A harsh whisper as she turned to him with a glare.
"You'll what?" Narrowing his eyes with a scowl matching her own. "Leave? Be my guest, have fun walking."
Neither of them paid attention to the snicker from across the table, Atsumu biting back a laugh and his smirk turned to a grin. And the man next to him, Kiyoomi, who was all too reluctant to sit at the table in the first place, let out a sigh. "Here we fucking go."
"Don't start with me tonight, Sunarin." There was a bite to the nickname, laced with venom; a name that was once uttered with care and love, of which that was gone with the wind. "If you make me walk you'll never hear the end of it."
"I never hear the end of it, regardless, babe." His voice was quiet in comparison to the deafening words; slinging a name that was formally endearing now crushed and bruised, covered in mud. Forcing the word out through a wry smile, using it in revile. "You're the one who started it anyway."
"Then stop touching me, honey." Another discolored name. "Can't you do one single thing I ask without bitching?" One rhetorical question was the catalyst to a back a forth that would always become of them. Sticks and stones. Hurling insults at each other like it was a competition - because it was.
"That's rich coming from you considering that's all you used to do."
"I bitched because nothing ever got through your thick ass skull."
"My thick ass skull never cared what you had to say anyway, all you ever talked about was work."
"Says the one who'd rather play around with balls all day, even during the off season. You were never around long enough to hear about my work."
"I can't believe I ever dated you, you're a nightmare." Huffing out a breath and averting his eyes, deep down he knew the words would sting, maybe that was the point. To deflect what love he still had into misguided anger; maybe then he would be ok.
She stared at him a moment, taking in his comment; bringing back unsavory memories from a past where they still believed each other to be happy, still in love. Petty arguments sprung out of thin air, only to be squashed with a gentle, I'm sorry - only the apologies became fewer and farther between. The exchanges always, without fail, turning sour until someone's feelings were hurt. An eerily similar situation to right now.
"Ok," a nervous laugh breaking the tension from beside her. Fingers running through ginger hair from nerves of meditating the squabble. "This isn't funny anymore, it's just sad." Hinata looked to his other teammates in response, hoping their resolve was, at least, a bit better than his own.
"You fight like an old married couple." Sakusa rested his hand against his cheek and sighed. "Don't you two ever get tired of it?"
There was a pause, all quietly acknowledging the rift that caused a lapse in conversation in its entirety, even Atsumu had nothing to say. But a chair screeching caused all eyes to turn to her, pushing hard against the table to free herself from the hold of the tightly packed table. "I'm going to smoke, I'll be back."
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thank you @mollyrolls for your help with dialogue <33
atsumu and yn silently agree that every argument her and suna have is funny as hell (except this one)
she most definitely did come back to the table out of pure spite
thoughts and prayers iwa
suna did apologize though! not a good one, just 'sorry' and she didn't even respond
that car ride home was eerily silent
poor yn was on the phone with akaashi and yachi for hours
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taglist under cut
@mollyrolls @causenessus @froyaoya @seroh @eggyrocks
@nbcvs @rory-cakes @localgaytrainwreck @kodzu-ken @hermaeusmorax
@sunafc @lvtilzs @kr1nqu @hyenagoated @gsyche
@le000xxgrd @iheartpinky @strxwberri-s @wolffmaiden @yogurtkags 
@superboywife
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