#he has always talked about bisexuality with more care and understanding and respect than is typical of a straight person

[cranberrymoons]

.

[humongousgothskeletonfarm]

TSC CHAPTER ELEVEN SPOILERS AHEAD

STARTING OFF THE CHAPTER STRONG AS FUCK DISASTER BISEXUAL JEAN MOREAU AWARENESS

picturing jean in a pair of raybans is good for my mental health

-

“Missed a couple spots. Need a hand?”

jeremy u flirt

-

do the trojans ever realise that jean is NOT IN FACT deaf and standing right in front of them when they are talking about him?

-

oh ok so chapter 11 is in fact worse than chapter 10

if anyone reading this has ever believed that they deserved the abuse, trauma/suffering they’ve experienced, i’m here to tell u right now that nobody deserves that and it is not ever ur fault, no matter what others might say or try to convince u. whatever happened to u is unequivocally not ok. please seek help from a professional if u are worried about urself or others in ur life.

if u have ever felt uncomfortable or violated in certain situations just know that no matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the situation may seem (i use these terms loosely because i do not believing in ranking peoples traumas), ur feelings are 100% valid and u always always deserve to be respected and heard.

i hope u know that u are not alone and never will be.

sending lots of love to all of u

-

wtff jenkins is a girl?? did we all know this or have i just read too many fanfics always thought jenkins was a guy?

-

It was sacrilegious even in the privacy of his head, and Jean hunched his shoulders against a blow that never came.

fuck that’s a good line. traumatic as fuck and makes me wanna cry for all these boys have gone through but god as an ex-catholic raised queer person i can tell u this line struck hard even though i cant relate to the specifics of the scene

-

Jean didn’t mind cooking, but he didn’t say that. This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could. He closed his eyes again, but now his thoughts were snagged on Jeremy. At length he broke the silence to say, “Two beds would fit in here.”

jean moreau u are so loved

-

“You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”

THE PARALLELS IN THIS BOOK ARE FUCKING KILLING ME PLS NORA LET ME LIVE IN PEACE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE

ANDREIL EXISTS IN EVERYTHING

-

Just because he had to meet with this man didn’t mean he had to speak to him.

jean, u diss aaron earlier in the books but really ur just the same as him

-

betsy dobson to the mother fuckibg rescue someone get this bitch a ‘worlds best therapist’ mug

and jean, dude do u know how fucking similar u and neil are, seriously like u guys should be besties like-

“It was not my choice,” he sent back in warning. “I do not need counseling.” He didn’t trust her at all, but there was no point spelling it out.

CHAPTER TWELVEE

dude wtf is it with me and napping while tryna finish this book, literally just accidentally fell asleep for 2.5 hrs when i could’ve been reading

-

“Imagine getting changed so we can practice,” Jean said.

king is fed uppp

-

“It’s not about size, anyway.” ​“Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. ​Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.

OKKKK JEREMY I SEE U

-

“That’s not—I do care. I want you to play with us, and I want you to have fun again. I want to see what you can do on the court and what you bring to our defense line. I want us to finally win this year after coming so close and failing too many times. But it’s just a game, Jean. Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.”

GOOD GOD ITS WHAT U DESERVE JEAN

-

“Every time you say that you take a year off my life. I’d really like to live to ninety, so please knock it off.”

now the trojans understand how the foxes feel when neil whips out his ‘im fine’ line,, also i’m never gonna stop saying that neil and jean should be besties it’s literally just a fact

“I do not believe you when you are drinking such filth,” Jean said, with a disapproving look toward her drink. Laila stared him down as she sucked a long gulp through the straw,

this book is so devastatingly depressing and explores some of the most horrible traumatic things that could happen to a person but it’s interspersed with some of the funniest scenes that it gives me whiplash

-

“Pat and Ananya have wanted to fuck Cody’s brains out for almost a year now. I really thought Cody moving in with them this summer was going to finally get that ball moving, but apparently not. It’s getting kind of pitiful.” ​“Pat and Ananya have been engaged almost as long as Cody has known them,” Laila pointed out as she fit herself against Cat’s side. “You can’t blame Cody for being scared of where they might belong in something like that.”

NORA GIVING US THE POLYAMORY WE DESERVE AFTER CUTTING KANDREIL FROM THE OG BOOKS LETS GO QUEER REP

YK THAT RUNNING JOKE THAT USC IS THE QUEEREST TEAM AND NOBODY HAS AS MANY GAYS AS THEY DO??? IM SO FUCKIBG HAPPY NORA HAS BASICALLY MADE THAT CANNON

-

CHAPTER 13333

jeremy is so hopelessly crushing on jean and that’s real of him

meanwhile jean:

Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth.

sureee buddy

-

They’d arrived holding hands and dressed in matching cream-and-teal outfits. Even their gold-rimmed sunglasses and teal sneakers were identical.

well that is definitely an outfit!

-

“Speaking of happy endings, has Laila bought you a sex toy yet?”

EXCUSE ME

this whole scene was so fucking random but jean deserves great friendships

-

ANOTHER TRANS TROJAN LETS FYCKING GOOOOOO CONGRATS ON UR TOP SURGERY XAVIER

-

‘i’m sure the ravens wouldn’t have taken neil in if they’d known he was the son of a mob boss!!’

uhhhhh…

i don’t know how to tell u this buddy

-

dude i just cannot stop think about the whole new world of fanfics we’re gonna get now that tsc has come out like the aftg universe is expanding and becoming more detailed it’s gonna be crazy

chapter 14!!!

-

Jean eyed him. “For what purpose?” ​Jeremy looked to the ceiling for patience. “For fun.” ​Jean sighed as if Jeremy was the one being unreasonable.

oh jean we’ll get there eventually

-

Jean was a starving dog on a short chain who’d learned years ago not to bite back.

OH MY FUCKING GOD GIVE ME PEACE

MY CHEST IS ACHING AT THIS METAPHOR

-

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP THE PARALLELS ARE DESTROYING ME I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE

“You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.”

-

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it. But I’m not sorry he’s gone. I can’t be.”

“Neither am I.”

TEAR MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT NORA JESUS CHRIST

-

everytime one of the trojans says ‘we’re here to listen whenever your ready to talk and open up to us’ and then they go and demand he tell them every secret he’s ever kept

-

kevin and jeans relationship in this book is so fucking well written, it’s tearing me apart and giving me so much life

they have so much shared trauma and the relationship is so complex but they understand eachother so deeply

He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” ​“I will wait as long as it takes,”

“Be careful with it,” Kevin said. “Be careful with him.”

-

“Night practices with Andrew and Neil,” Kevin said. ​“Obsessed,” Jeremy

exy fiend kevin day representation

also

“No, Jean is fine. As fine as he can be, anyway. Yes, I know.” (kevin when talking to someone ‘offscreen’) i just know he was talking to neil

-

She crossed the room and leaned over, catching Jean’s head in her hands so she could plant a kiss to the top of his head.

this is the love jean deserves

chapter 15:

“Your fourth line has a smart mouth, Coach,” Jean said. “I was hoping he would bite his tongue off in the fall and save us both some grief in the long run.”

jean i love u

-

Jean wished he had the common sense to shut up,

he’s so me

-

“And keep Kevin’s name out of your ignorant mouth,”

THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME UR HONOUR

-

i keep forgetting that jean only learnt english after he moved into evermore and that kevin probably taught him but i love the subtle little reminders every now and then when he has to clarify a word, like when he has to ask what a ‘floozy’ is and:

due to egregious injuries.” ​Jean didn’t recognize that word, but since Lucas was already running his mouth, he didn’t get a chance to ask.

it’s such a good detail that just adds so much more depth to his character

-

“Permission to break his face, Coach?” Jean asked. ​“Denied,” White said.

SCREAMING

THIS IS SO NEIL AND WYMACK CODED I LOVE IT

-

JEAN MOREAU ON A MOTHERFUCKING MOTORCYCLE HOLY SHIT

catalina alvarez u wonderful human i love u

-

jean realising how big the world is and the fact that he’s explored more of california than any other place he’s been before is making me tear up he never should’ve been kept trapped inside he deserves to see the world

-

So long as she existed as fractured memories, she was safe and small and sheltered.

oh god don’t do this to me

-

Jean gazed out at the endless horizon, feeling small and infinite from one moment to the next.

beautiful, just beautiful, absolutely immaculate

A cool evening breeze. Rainbows. Open roads.

A COOL EVENING BREEZE. RAINBOWS. OPEN ROADS

-

SECOND LAST CHAPTER!!! LETS GOOO

“He is not going to hit you. Okay? We don’t do that here. You said you’d try to do better and that’s enough for us.”

starting off strong

-

You’re one of my kids now.

don’t mind me i’m just sobbing

-

no no no no no no no no no

holy shit no what the fucking fuck

don’t do this to jean rn oh my fucking god i’m sick to my stomach on the verge of fully crying right now

actually dreading reading on right now

-

um ok yeah so i read it and to anyone who hasn’t finished the book yet beware there is a graphic violent scene followed by an intense panic attack in chapter 16 that’s is very difficult to read

i did cry and all i can say is thank fuck for lisinski’s timing

-

Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” ​“I do not want you to look.” ​It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie,

-

only redeeming part of this chapter is that neil’s back but i’m still in so much shock over what’s just happened that i cant properly appreciate him

chapter 17 the finale:

feeling incredibly somber as i reach the end of the book

please god destroy anyone who has ever hurt jean moreau

-

nora’s really filling in all the plot holes left from aftg - why did nobody question why neil’s hair was dyed after evermore ????? why did nobody question neil being at evernote in the first place???

-

i’m laughing at neil’s map print-outs he’s so uncool, also i keep forgetting this is still meant to be 2007

-

jean-yves moreau oh my fucking god

-

“says who?” Stuart asked. “The dead kid?

stuart hatford u are so funny, is this where neil inherited is sarcasm from?

stuart hatford says fuck riko and so do i

-

Neil shrugged. “Do you have anyone who can take on local work?”

NEIL JOSTEN U ARE MY HERO I LOVE U U BADASS MOTHER FUCKER

-

Neil offered her a disarming smile that would never sit quite right on his face.

devouring these scraps about my boy

-

YOOOO WTF NORA RLLY JUST WANTED TO GIVE JEAN THE WORST FUCKING DAY HE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE HUH?? JUST DROPPED THE FACT THAT HIS SISTER IS DEAD MY POOR BOY

-

Neil filled in the finer details with an ease that would have been impressive to listen to any other day

- yes neil is incredibly smart, thank u jean for confirming to us

-

The only thing left to ask for was something he barely understood: “I want to go home.”

oh the complicated nature of home and one’s sense of belonging that persists throughout these books will never fail to make me feel absolutely everything. nora knows exactly what i want in a book

-

“I can see the kitchen. There should be a door out to where the dumpsters are. We can make it back to the garage from there.”

to be loved by neil josten is to be offered a way to evade the fbi together

-

“Tedious,” Neil said. “I’m trying to eat.”

my hero

Neil waited until he was done before deciding he wanted to finish his drink. Neither agent was impressed with their absolute lack of urgency,

i love u neil josten pls give me ur autograph

Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to its front bumper and said, “That’s illegal, just so you know.” ​“Shut up and get in the car.”

i wish neil josten was real

-

He couldn’t fear a government who was so easily infiltrated and manipulated

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

-

Neil flipped his takeout box open and started eating. “I’m allowed to visit people.”

he’s everything to me 🥰

-

“You’re one to accuse others of intolerable attitudes,” Browning said, and Neil only shrugged indifference.

and—for once—without any of your usual bullshit.”

- browning u love him just like the rest of us don’t lie rn

-

ngl i’m never getting over the fact that jean and neil are the same age like this is crazy to me nora whyd u have to do this i cant cope

-

“The more people I hold onto, the less of a threat I am, because I won’t want to endanger them by acting out.”

oh neil look how far uve come, i’m so proud

-

“Lock your door tonight if it will help, but Grayson will never bother you again.”

THANK U LORD FOR THE BRILLIANT NEIL JOSTEN HES ANSWERED MY PRAYERS U BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN IM SO THANKFUL FOR UR PRESENCE

all my favourite bamf! neil fics have him taking out a hit on someone for the benefit of the people he loves and i’m so glad that’s canon

-

i’m going fucjing crazy i didnt think it was possible to love neil anymore than i already do

best friends ❤️

-

jean tearing up and throwing away the notebooks and realising he trusts the trojans and the four of them going to eat one of cats new recipes after they waited up last midnight for him

A COOL EVENING BREEZE RAINBOWS OPEN ROADS AND FRIENDS

!!!!!

I CSNT BELIEVE ITS OVERRRRR I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HOLY FUCK

[the-delta-quadrant]

something that repeats itself over and over and over is that exclusionists don't understand the difference between one person and themselves, or one person and the entire community. they live for projection and generalisation. they live for an oversimplified mess.

we're seeing it now with mspec lesbians and lesbian men. someone states they're lesbian and attracted to men or speaks out in support of those who are and someone will immediately jump in and say "so you think that all lesbians are attracted to men?" as if someone stating their personal experience somehow makes it a universal truth, as if lesbians are a monolithic group.

the same thing happens when a trans man says he identifies as lesbian. someone will immediately jump in and say "oh, so you think me being a trans man attracted to women means i'm lesbian?" as if someone's personal experience is a universal truth, as if trans men are a monolith.

but this isn't new at all. REGs have always been awful at nuance. so much so that it often feels deliberate, to be honest. like a deliberate attempt to derail the conversation from the actual thing that's talked about, making it about a strawman that doesn't exist.

it happened with non-binary lesbians. "so all lesbians have to be attracted to non-binary people?" "so me being attracted to women as a non-binary person means i have to be lesbian?"

it happened with non-bi mspec people. "so because i'm attracted to people regardless of gender i can't call myself bi?" "so you think bi is exclusionary?"

it happened with aces not being comfortable being called bisexual, pansexual etc. "so you're reducing MY bisexuality to only sex?"

it happened with aces and aros labelling multiple orientations. "so you think everyone has to separate their sexual attraction from their romantic attraction?"

it happened with non-binary people. "so you think because i'm gnc i can't be a man/woman?"

and it probably happened with other identities before my time.

and for a group who loves to shout "non-binary isn't a single third gender", that loves to shout about how non-binary is not a monolith, they sure love treating basically every identity as one.

it's always the same. their response to other communities emerging and thriving is always that we're trying to take everything over with our ideas, that we want everyone to be like us, that we're somehow the ones that don't understand nuance. they think by stating our experiences we're trying to force our experiences into other people, despite us not randomly calling trans men lesbians without their consent, despite us not caring that people call all of their attractions collectively "pansexual", despite us not caring if people experience sexual and romantic people as one, despite us not forcing every trixic to be lesbian, despite us not caring that someone chooses the label bi over other mspec labels.

they also love to bring up real issues in this, trying to compare other people existing to real bigots, like people saying that asexuals not wanting to be called bisexual means that asexuals are just evil bimisics who oversexualise and fetishise bi people. and that's what makes it so much more believable to the people who aren't familiar with either side, because of course they agree that fetishising bi people is bad. they just don't realise that that's not what we're doing.

what we care about is inclusion. to not be erased. to not be demonised. to be respected. acknowledged. accepted. we want diversity, which includes people like and unlike us. but they think our existence is imposing something onto them. and this is honestly why i feel like there's no point in trying to convince REGs who are committed to their bullshit otherwise. it's no use. they'll just claim i'm trying to speak a universal truth by speaking my personal experience. they'll just keep using prescriptivist ideas and restrictive definitions of labels rather than treating identities like identities. they'll just go against everything that is queerness.

[total-fucking-freakshow]

Can you tell us about your version of Lifty and Shifty?

An excuse to type an essay on my HCs for the twins? Hell yeah!

Short version:

Lifty

Lifty is an optimist, sensible in the long-term

Worries about his brother's mental and physical health constantly

Knows when putting his feelings first is necessary

Very social and quick to trust

Shifty

Shifty is a pessimist, no regard for long-term consequences

Tries to keep Lifty from worrying about his condition

"Edgy" and can't quite grasp the concept of self-care

Anti-social and trust is a lie

Below is the longer version. Gonna write an entire paper on my Lifty and Shifty HCs

My version of Lifty was always more optimistic and reckless, with more of a "you only live once" kind of mindset. This bears a large contrast to Shifty's constant pessimism and cautious nature regarding short-term consequences and effects. In addition to this, Lifty knows how to draw a line with his actions (He's not going to drink the very obviously labelled bleach just to find out what it tastes like), but Shifty doesn't. Their differing views and thought processes often lead to very heated arguments about almost anything (They argued over a spoon once), but often the topic of conversation is Shifty's deteriorating health.

Dynamic

Shifty is very logical when it comes to planning, while Lifty is more emotion-led. Lifty gets excited very easily, and is the type of person you wouldn't trust with a secret if it involves anything even remotely enjoyable. Shifty is quite the opposite, being able to keep his composure in most situations unless Lifty or someone close to him is in immediate danger (In which case he becomes a nervous wreck prone to sudden acts of violence if provoked) Shifty is also fairly quiet (Unrelated to his damaged larynx) while Lifty doesn't know when to stop the conversation, and will just keep talking until someone else breaks it up. Lifty is constantly reminding Shifty that he needs to take care of himself, but he can't even remember to drink water and eat on his own, so Lifty basically has a full-time job nagging Shifty to do the bare minimum to keep himself functioning.

Relationships

Lifty, being the social butterfly that he is, has quite a few friends (Russell, Toothy, Flaky, Cuddles, the list goes on...). He also finds it very easy to empathize with others, and as a result is a lot better at cheering people up than his brother. Shifty on the other hand doesn't consider very many people "friends". He only really has three, those being Russell, Flaky and Toothy. He has an extremely hard time trusting people, and finds it hard to empathize with anyone at all. Although he isn't able to understand anyone else's feelings, he still tries to be as respectful as he can when it comes to heavier topics. Shifty is absolutely terrified of Flippy. Lifty doesn't understand this fear, and thinks it's just one of those irrational fears. It is not.

Appearances

Shifty has a small rip in his right ear. Lifty doesn't. Shifty has a hat. Lifty doesn't. I don't know what you expect lol

Also Lifty is bisexual and Shifty is gay and asexual

I want to keep going but I'm going to be typing all day if I do. I can elaborate on anything if necessary. I honestly love talking about my HTF HCs, thanks so much for asking : )

[daniclaytcn]

I love and want buddie more than anything but first I also want Eddie coming to terms with his sexuality and I want him to feel comfortable with himself first, it’s not like he has to necessarily date another man but i wouldn’t mind seeing him flirting with men especially if buck is still unaware of his love (romantic) for Eddie.

i don't know if they would go this route if canon buddie is the plan, considering the fact that addressing this kind of storyline in a respectful manner would take an amount of screentime, precision and drawn-out development that simply isn't possible on an ensemble show. i've always been of the opinion that they'll just make it clear that buck and eddie are interested in men, but there won't be any effort to define or put a label on their sexualities. that's what fan interpretation and fanfic is for. my issue is that people have no problem hcing buck as queer, that he's been with both men and women, and that that wouldn't change regardless of eddie. but when it comes to eddie, there's a gross tendency to insist that he's buck-sexual, while dismissing his previous relationships with women—which, regardless of whether he's gay or bisexual, his relationship with shannon is of extreme importance to his character, and it's really depressing that his love for her and her impact on him is completely dismissed. i've talked about it before, but the way people compared his reaction when she died and when buck did is SO gross. they just cherry-picked moments to make it seem like he didn't care about her 'as much'. let alone the fact that he was grieving for months afterwards, literally resorted to illegal street fighting because he couldn't process that grief (of course, people make that particular arc all about buck, when they're not using it to depict eddie as an abusive aggressor). like, this fandom needs to take a careful look at why it can view buck and his sexuality and his relationships with women in the past with nuance and understanding, but they're seemingly incapable of doing the same for eddie.

[black-arcana]

BATTLE BEAST's NOORA LOUHIMO Shares Message In Support Of Pride Month

BATTLE BEAST's Noora Louhimo has shared a message in support of LGBTQ+ Pride Month. Taking place in June, Pride Month is a time when the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community, their supporters, and allies come together to celebrate love, diversity, acceptance, and unashamed self-pride.

On Saturday (June 1),Noora took to her Instagram to write: "WONDERFUL PRIDE month for LBTGQ+ communities and everyone who agrees for equal love, self and sexuality. I hope that one day we could live in a world where equality would be the norm in all communities.

"As a woman, I unfortunately still face unequal treatment and a certain kind of sexism seems to be built into people's core behavior (which comes from home education) and some don't even realize they are sexist. Also women towards other women and themselves. For example, it is really sad to see/hear women criticizing other women and their sexual expression or showy appearance/dressing. EVERYONE'S OWN LOOK has been the only way for women to express themselves and their own values since time immemorial. The cloak of shame was not invented by women. But unfortunately, instead of encouraging self-expression, we bark and be mean. What one says about another comes from how you see yourself and your own fear.

"Let's take off those cloaks of shame and burn them at the stake. Let's be on each other's side. Let's be on the side of those who need it. Let's jump into other people's shoes and understand that equal treatment is not an everyday life for everyone, but a struggle for it every day.

"The fact that I dress the way I want, demand respectful and equal treatment, am strong-willed, ambitious and determined, speak up for others and myself does not make me a 'bitch'. Crying, talking about my feelings/thoughts and being emotional to everyone doesn't make me weak. It makes me strong and happy when I am openly myself. At the same time, I want to encourage and support others to do the same.

"THIS IS WHY I HAVE THE BATTLE VITCH HORNS OF COURAGE. And I will always continue to fight for equality. In this world, evil is putting oneself above others, narrow realities and being greedy.

"I hope that I can have at least a little influence on how people treat each other with my own example.

"LOVE AND PEACE AND PRIDE

"#pride #equality #humanity #goodvalues #selfesteem #thecloakofshame #proudtobeme #proudofyou"

Louhimo revealed in November that she had been diagnosed with a ruptured left carotid artery, causing the postponement the band's tour. The 35-year-old Finnish musician has since said in an interview that she has "definitely started doing more warm-up before any singing and warming down and taking care of my overall health even more than before." She added: "I really appreciate life more now. I'm thankful for each and every day and every moment that I get to live, I get to love, I get to see. I get to see people. I get to be with my loved ones and with my animals here at home. And now I get to tour in the places that I've always dreamed of. And it's not something that you should take [for] granted."

When Louhimo first revealed her diagnosis seven months ago, she wrote on her social media: "I went to be examined because of a weird pain in the left side of my neck, throat, ear and chin. At ultrasound examination the doctor found the rupture that had already started healing, and he saved my life. I was hospitalized for more exams and finally got confirmation of the situation. I was ordered to have a break on everything that might stress or increase my blood pressure for the next month. Otherwise, I could have a stroke. As you know how passionate I am as a singer and performer, the blood pressure getting high is a guarantee. So, I did not want to take the risk to die with my boots on, not quite yet".

Louhimo joined BATTLE BEAST in 2012 with no previous experience as a metal vocalist but quickly acclimated herself as the replacement for Nitte Valo (a.k.a. Nitte Vänskä).

Less than two years ago, Noora, who in 2021 released her debut solo album, "Eternal Wheel Of Time And Space", under the NOORA LOUHIMO EXPERIENCE banner, admitted publicly that she had been struggling with eating disorders and her weight since she was "a little child" and said that she was "still trying to find a balance." She added that she had "been depressed and anxious sometimes 'without a reason'."

[endsupes]

Signs of affection

Physical: William is never far away in proximity and touch mostly comprises of either gentle leading with a hand guiding lightly/supportive or even aggressively gripping. He may also shield by blocking the view with his body. Mostly just any point of connection that's not exceedingly violent.

Words: rare, but he has the capacity to give compliments and speak about things that bother him or aspects of his life that haunt him.

Silent respect: this typically entails allowing handing leadership to someone whether its a small aspect ( his aunt taking care of terror) or something with great meaning ( asking hughie to say sorry to the boys )

Sexuality

over the years, Williams’ romantic and sexual life has been almost non-existent. this is the product of several things - the fact he is constantly working, that he’s often out on the field fighting for his life and the lives of others and too busy trying not to die as well a lack of confidence when it comes to romance, a growing disinterest in anything sexual, and the inability to understand or read flirtation and attraction from potential lovers without taking it unseriously ( obliviousness and an effect of his mental health issues both ).  often, any interest shown in him regarding sexuality and romance will not be picked up on and dismissed as casual conversation ( I.e he may flirt back but its hollow, empty words ) - it requires bluntness to get the point across to him - and usually it will be rejected because he has ‘better’ things to do which is usually work. it has been a long, long time since he’s been on a date and whilst everything William does tends to stem from love in a manner of speaking, he rarely sets time aside for romance. 

William is a very, very closeted bisexual and carries a lot of internalized homophobia - not regarding anyone but himself, he could care less about the sexualities of others, but is uncomfortable in admitting he is anything but the white macho man people assume him to be. he has always been uncomfortable regarding his own sexuality, but over the years it has grown worse. this is from the lack of physical intimacy ( despite not having it, he does miss it - William is a sexual person, enjoys sex, but has gone without for so long he now has several self-confidence issues regarding it ) and the fact that for him, it has always been a subject meant to be kept private - between himself and his partner ( he doesn’t really want to hear about what his friends/soldiers/team have been up to in bed, and doesn’t want to talk about his experiences or lack of either ). combined with his physical and health issues, it’s something he tends to avoid.

in his youth, he had a string of girlfriends - all of them were brief flings, no emotional attachment on either end, but not as many as he’d boast about ( the ego of a hormonal twenty-something boy in the prime of his life, with a gun and a military record doesn’t want to be seen as someone who gets rejected by pretty girls ). experimentation sexually was brief and short, uncomfortable with the idea - he’d been touchy-feely with men before, but eventually backed out, nervous and drunk, doing it for attention rather than anything else. he was never the best lover, but what he lacked in talent he made up for in enthusiasm.

Rebecca had only really been the most consistent sexual relationship he had for the obvious fact that they were married and really the only person he had ever felt particularly close to. Since her disappearance, he had spiraled mentally, only really seeing sex acts as a way to manipulate or extort information. But even then it was never something he relied on, more so, dangling a carrot on a string in order to get what he wants.

getting him to talk about it is an unlikely event, too. the only time you’ll hear of Williams’ romantic and sexual activities is if you’re the one he’s doing it with - he’s a private person in many aspects, despite the big heart, and likes to keep things to himself ( too stubborn to realise maybe talking about his issues could help get rid of them ). if you manage to break through to that though, he’s extremely appreciative in the moment, touches like he’s worshipping a marble statue with adoration. Gropping whatever, wherever, he's willing. however, it’s all emotional for him nowadays, and the idea of no-strings-attached sex is something he can’t get into - it has to mean something to him, and it always does, whether he admits it or not.

[bathiveroleplays]

Chip Star

WARNING: This character deals with a lot of sensitive topics like mental issues, death, horror movie-like violence, insanity, murder and more. If this is not your cup of tea, do not read or interact with the character

Basic Information

Chip Gracey Star

June 28th | Cancer Zodiac | Bisexual | Trans Male | Caucasian | Mid 20s-Early 30s

Appearance

Face and Voice Claim: Spencer Charnas

Chip has dark hair, grey eyes, fair skin that is blemish free save for scars hidden under his clothes and a strong, but average build. He is typically dressed in suits and ties. Pretty smart clothes to keep a fine image. He stands at a proud 6'2 and weights 182lbs.

Personality

Chip Star is a charismatic man with many charms. From good looks to his friendly personality and clever, well-timed jokes, people tend to adore him when they meet him. He is a showman at heart, always putting on the perfect show for anyone who comes across him.

He loves all things horror and stars in many horror movies. He's known for his villain roles. He can depict the perfect maniac on the silver screen and it's always a box office smash. He's not afraid to try anything once...

He adores his fans. He knows they are the reason his career is such a success. He loves their adoration, their respect and their praise. It makes him feel like he truly does do great things.

There is a dark side to Chip one can discover very quick if they are too careless or if he is feeling destructive. He can be a real maniac with rather violent tendencies and a masochistic/ sadistic side of him that makes him quick to delight in pain. Both for himself and of others.

He has a bad habit of really getting into the roles of the characters he plays. He puts himself in the mindset of a maniac and it causes him to do things that are...less than savory.

Background

Chip was born as Cecilia. His mother died giving birth to him. His father was a stockbroker and rarely home so he hired a nanny named Margret to care for his child while he worked and made his fortune.

Margret was a kind woman. She loved this child like they were her own flesh and blood. Chip came out as trans when he was 14 and Margret showed him support. After talking with the child to be sure, she offered to let his father know for him and Chip agreed. His father didn't really care and assumed it was a phase that would come and go but referred to him as his son from then on out and called him Chip. He even gave Margret money to take his new sone clothes shopping and to get his hair cut. His father was actually glad to have a son. Another man to carry the family name.

Chip could do just about anything he wanted and his father wasn't around enough to really care. He was always so absorbed in his work but Margret was there and supported Chip through it all.

Despite Margret doing her best, Chip often wondered why his father couldn't take a few days off or even just spend time with him at home. All he ever wanted was his attention and approval and praise but he never got it. His father was always just too busy for his son.

Chip began displaying signs of deeper issues the older he got. At private school, his peers bullied him mercilessly for a variety of reasons. Chip was trans and neurodivergent. Kids can be rather cruel to someone who has difficulty understanding social cues and such.

Home life may have been splendid but school life proved difficult. It made him understand that the world was a cruel place outside of his sheltered home. Cruel people made the world a hard place.

He became an angry child. He started getting into physical fights in middle school. He found violence, punching them in the face, throwing things at them, kicking, biting, scratching, it all made them finally listen to him and leave him alone and he found...he rather liked causing those who hurt him to suffer.

Chip discovered in theatre class that he could get many complex emotions he felt out while he was acting. He enjoyed it and decided he would be a professional actor.

He would later become a professional actor. His father helped him get into all the right classes, all the right auditions. He fell in love with the horror genre saying he felt "most at home" in this one. He always felt like an outcast, he always felt crazy, this allowed him to embrace his more stranger aspects and gave an outlet for his anger.

Note: Chip tends to black out almost when he becomes too absorbed in the role and almost adapts the personality and mannerisms of the character he plays entirely. It started as a way for him to get into the roles but it became something he could no longer control.

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Serious question: how is it possible not to feel like we're doomed after reading such discussions? Like, it's clear people just refuse to care about women at all. They only care about men who call themselves women

I gotta be honest. I'm optimistic. If you're naturally pessimistic then you are already dead in the water, that's just the truth. But also, I feel like real life is better than online. I've had multiple pleasantly surprising conversations because I wasn't afraid to speak up. You can't be afraid to voice your opinion. Also, I don't understand the sentiment of being afraid to lose friends because of your disagreement on trans rights. I'll happily lose anyone who tells me that lesbians can like dick. Not only do I not give a single shit, but I've done it before and would do it again. Value yourself more. You don't deserve to be around people like that. Cut them off. You're not losing anything. I'm not in agreement with my friends on trans rights, but I have told them what's what. One of them has come to me privately to ask me questions on my beliefs, and we had a very respectful discussion. The thing is, I think these discussions are better in real life. Idk what it is, but people are sweeter when you talk to them face to face. Repeating what people say back to them helps them see that they're being ridiculous. I told one of my friends that liking both genitals makes someone bisexual, and she completely agreed despite the fact you can probably guess what we were arguing about that would prompt me to say that. A few months ago, I was in a group of people my age and we were absolutely clowning on a boy in our class who had said that trans women belonged in women's sports and who had called our teacher a terf . One of the boys in our group had never even heard the word terf before. A lot of the good people are offline or aren't heavily engaged in this specific debate. You gotta remember that the grand majority of people are straight and thus don't spend much time thinking about gay or trans people. I asked my mother what she thought of trans people and she said she "doesn't think about it". Imagine that? Never once thinking about this? A lot of people aren't aware of what's going on. Do you remember super straight? Straight people caught a whiff of the nonsense that trans people spout about sexuality and they went OFF. There's a lot more animosity towards the homophobia and misogyny of the trans movement than you think. Riley J Dennis' video about genital preferences was FILLED with people disagreeing with him and saying he wants everyone to be bisexual. Genuinely not a positive comment in sight. If you repeat trans rhetoric to regular people, there's a fairly good chance they'll think you're joking around. People want to be good. They take things at face value. A trans person say this? It must be true! They'll hit the 'like' button on trans positivity posts. But if you just challenge them a little bit then they almost always crack, in my experience. A literal perfect example is during the argument between my friends I mentioned above. One of them quite literally said "I've been agreeing with what you guys have said so far, but after hearing what [me] had to say, I agree with that as well." Like. You CAN'T be a coward. I remain positive because I don't think that things are as bad as a lot of you guys think. I genuinely really don't. I have so many more positive things to say, but I'm feeling burnt out so hopefully this makes you feel better, anon ❤️

[the-owl-tree]

fun facts about background cats in the isekei au?

Yippee, thank you for this ask!!! Love talking about these guys >:3c

Batears (She/He/They; Bisexual, leaning towards transfemme)

Doesn’t want kids. I’d initially planned for her to be infertile because, and I can’t remember the details of why, I wanted her to be a red herring in the book the story takes place of her being Frost’s kin (do not ask me to elaborate, I never wrote it down and I still don’t understand what I was thinking).

I’m wavering on the infertile thing for now. I’d rather treat it as just an aspect of her than some grand tragedy but I’d need to do more research.

Both her and Owl were pitted against each other throughout their lives to compete for the role of deputy. She ended up “falling behind” after the death of their father, she was much closer to him and the grief ended up forcing her to take some time to recover.

Big ass ears, her hearing is SHARP.

Her and Frostblaze have a solid mentor-apprentice bond. She’s straightforward and blunt.

The book they come from doesn’t give her much dialogue or appearances (hence her being inspired by the overshadowed sisters in Warriors), and she’s a bit of a wild card to Honey and the gang. She legit doesn’t know what to expect from her.

Loonsnarl (He/It - sexuality and gender undecided but SOMETHING is going on, maybe just apathy?)

Heavily inspired by Goosefeather, I feel that’s obvious lol

I wanted to take the “these events are doomed to happen” to the extreme with this guy. He is very much “this must happen and if it doesn’t, I will make it happen”.

He does everything with confidence, he says things with confidence, he acts as if everything will come to fruition. There is no room for wavering in the future, the path is decided and they must follow it through.

Splashpaw initially adopted this mentality after her first trip to the Mooncave…until something changed in her. Loonsnarl doesn’t always get along with his apprentice.

Hornettail (He/Him - Cishet

His main inspiration is Darkstripe and characters that will literally switch from being open minded to being wildly xenophobic from book to book.

The actual book they come from has it that it’s just bad writing. When Honey meets him, he’s just someone who will cling to whoever has the most power in the situation

The moment the pendulum swings out of his favor, he’s chasing after it no matter how pathetic he looks

Dawnstep (She/He - Lesbian)

Funny gal with a sick beard

Big bard energy, she loves singing and teaches the apprentice the best war songs (Honey finds the melodies catchy but the lyrics uh…gruesome)

In a butch4butch relationship with a SturgeonClan cat named Troutshine. (Side note, I think it would be funny if the territory was an ecological mess. Animals of all kinds just thrown in without care lol)

Fanon Lionheart is a big inspo for him

Sheeppaw and Elkpaw (she/her and he/him respectively, nothing decided yet but I like Elkpaw being transmasc)

Honeypaw’s lackies. She promised power and prestige when she ascended to leader and, as the more physically powerful sister, it was expected she’d be able to deliver on her word.

The two are insecure kids who were friends in the nursery, while it doesn’t excuse their bullying at all, they’re hardly evil masterminds.

In the book, they get a redemption arc and apologize to Frostblaze. In this story, I imagine it happens a lot faster when Honeypaw starts acting weird and avoiding them.

Childhood friends to lovers, I think it’s cute :)

Hollystream (she/her)

Duskflower’s sister, she was the one to step in and help raise Frostblaze when she died.

Her death still hurts her, the two were twins and very close.

While Beesnap definitely pushed for her daughter to see Frost as a rival and not a sister, Holly did the same. She also pushed Frost to go for the crown and in doing so, the two queens ending up destroying the potential friendship the sisters might’ve had.

Holly is quiet, subdued. However, she loves her goofy mate Mousesneeze and their antics, being with them has helped her recover in many ways.

I’ll probably make another edition in a bit but these are sort of the handful of cats I’ve got some concrete plans for. The latter half of the warriors in WolfClan need some fleshing out since admittedly some of them are just to pad out the Clan.

Thank you for the ask!!!!

[shadowqnights]

Can you tell me about Luci?

Lucinda is Interesting. she's a curious case because she's not really matched up with anyone but she's so crucial nonetheless -- she's not a main main character but a Lot of people revolve around her. She's very sultry and a huge flirt but yet can't commit to anything and even if someone who she thought was cute confessed she probably wouldn't say yes. (See: Aphmau. There was most definitely a mutual interest there before Aph met the very dangerous Katelyn, but even with all of the flirting nothing ever could have happened. Lucinda is secretly very afraid of commitment and would have backed down anyway out of respect for Aph's lordship).

Luci knows that she's attractive, and most people she meets are into her and she knows how to use that to her advantage, but at the same time there's a sense of unease about it all. She's bisexual with a preference for women and only really finds herself engaging with the more submissive men because she's into the thrill but not really romance. Lucinda is sex-driven but romantically frustrated, and it's not really any fault of her own that she's not ready for anything serious or long-term. She wouldn't show it, but it can get to her sometimes. Her fleeting thing of flirting with Aphmau was always intended to be light and fun and definitely not serious.

Lucinda also knows she's powerful, of course, but she's grown up shunned and hated for this legacy that she feels was given to her without permission so it's a complex feeling. She has a respect for her witchcraft and she's grown to admire her own power but its still a strange feeling. She can use it to heal and to attack -- most recently, she's saved Laurance's life, but she also knows that she's used it against KC as a part of their strange rivalry and that definitely stings a little. People in town like KC are well-liked, and by comparison Lucinda was a lot less worried about when it came to that duel. Most interestingly right now is her relationship with both Dante and Laurance, which is definitely something that's gonna pop up later.

Beyond her very personal feelings about her family -- in particular the fact that Lucinda is fighting to separate herself from the legacy of both of her parents who've hurt her in different ways, Lucinda has a really motherly presence, and she's incredibly important to both Laurance and Dante.

She and Laurance respect each other. It started off as just a mutual understanding because they're very similar, not just in wit and cunning but in some of the experiences they had in their hometowns and growing up. They kind of see each other for what they are, so he trusts her to take care of him and is willing to strip down and let her heal him and talk with him. It's important to me especially because Laurance and Aph were really hasty friends and at the time they really believed that all they had was each other. It closed the both of them off from other people because they only had that one confidant in all the world. They clicked instantly. It was impulsive and while they thought it would last forever obviously it really couldn't. You can already see them drifting a little. But Laurance is finding comfort in new people too and opening himself up to help a little bit, with Luci and Garroth especially, and also with Dante even though its strained.

Lucinda and Dante do not really see each other at all. There's not too much understanding there, especially not from Dante. He spent a really long time afraid of her and being guided by his biases when it comes to magic and power. But she's kind of fascinated by him and what's going on with him and you'll see it come up later that Lucinda really wants to protect Dante and offer him support. And he really in turn needs to confide in her. They'll bond eventually, they'll end up getting really close. There's some friendships in Loverman that mean so much to me, maybe even more than the main couples, and the bonds that Lucinda has with Laurance and Dante are two of those. There are more.

Other than Dante, Lucinda's also one of the most aware characters of Garroth and Laurance's arrangement. Right now they're stuck in their friends with benefits stage and can't really admit to anything serious but a lot of people are so busy that they can't really figure out what's happening behind the scenes. But Lucinda's always been very observant and she sees everything. She keeps everyone's secrets, including her own. She and Dante should totally chat about that huh

I like her :) its ok if u disagree with my character takes because i really don't care its my world and these minecraft blocks sure are living in it

[itstheelvenjedi]

~couple questions~ for when you need an excuse to talk about your characters/ship 😽

8, 10, 16, 19, 22 and 25

Pick your fav pairings with your tav.

These are from the [~Couple Questions~: For When You need An Excuse to Talk About your Characters/Ship] list for anyone who either wants the list or wants to send some more!

Sorry this one took a while @csphire, I too got a little carried away and wrote probably way more than I was supposed to bwahahaha But I hope you enjoy! 😉 Obligatory disclaimer that there's some very horny/suggestive things in some of these answers, and also there WILL be spoilers for the plot of the game so like. Do not read if you're someone who hates spoilers and hasn't played through the whole game yet etc etc.

Also, I'm playing loosey-goosey with the lore in some respects because I'm here to have a good time, not a 100% canon compliant time. If you don't like that then just stay off my posts for the sake of both our sanities, I beg of you 🙏Rai is a polyamorous bisexual disaster and has a closed polycule with Karlach, Wyll and Dammon (tho I'm going on ~vibes~ and Wyll and Dammon aren't romantically/sexually involved bc I just didn't get that vibe from them while writing. It's a "ah yes, my girlfriends and their cool boyfriend : )" situation from both sides for the guys. They're purely platonic but they both love their girls a whole lot.) And before someone says it, no I don't care that it's not canon in-game. I don't need it to be canon in-game to do it anyway and I will die on this hill so don't try me /hj

commence the spoilers/horniness/etc under the cut! last chance to click away if you don't want to see that! XD (oh also trigger warning for mentions of child abuse/mistreatment, and...idk how best to word it other than discussions of being trained as a child soldier and references to past abuse and trauma. I've tried to blanket cover with trigger tags but ask if you'd like me to add any others I've missed!)

What do they find physically sexiest about each other? Going with Rai and Wyll for this one bc I think they have the best answers! ☺️

Rai: The ✨horns✨. Listen. I get why he's upset about them at first. I do. I totally get it. But come ooooonnnnn!! You CANNOT tell me those babies are anything except sexy as FUCK to tieflings. They're fucking beautiful horns, and I like to think Rai's a big factor in Wyll learning to "live with" his horns and maybe eventually like them. Just a little bit. She loves his horns and she'll use any excuse in the book to get her hands all over them. At first she was offering to help him with the horn care because he really had no clue & asked her & Karlach for help (tho Karlach wasn't touchable at the time so Rai had to step up for the physical "here like this" demonstration and that's prolly where it started lol) then it became a little intimacy habit between them, he doesn't need her help anymore but he's not going to say "no" if she asks/offers, ya know? :3 (honourable mention to the time drunk Wyll at the Grove party complained very loudly about having "bumps and stuff where they absolutely should not be" because Rai's only reaction to that was "OOH~ 👀💖" hahaha)

Wyll: This might sound like a weird one, but probably her tail? Rai's very tail-expressive, if she doesn't force it to keep still by wrapping it around her own leg (or someone else *wink wink*) then it's ALWAYS moving around or giving away her emotions in some way! It started out innocent enough in that his eyes were automatically drawn to it because it moves around so much. Even despite growing up in Baldur's Gate for some time and thus being around a fair few tieflings (from my limited understanding of the lore and stuff thus far, don't lynch me hardcore fans, I've never played tabletop 5E or the other baldur's gate games lmao) he'd never met a tiefling that moved their tail so much until he met Rai. But now he can't help but stare when he thinks she isn't looking (she totally knows and does things with it on purpose sometimes just to tease him because she knows Wyll is staring. Rai and Karlach have a running (playfully ofc) bet going about how long it's going to take Wyll to figure out that she knows he stares, he hasn't figured it out just yet 😉 lol) Honourable mention for her eyes bc he thinks they're very pretty uwu and not at all for smutty eye-contact reasons cough I mean what

What was their last big fight? What did they learn from it? You get a two-for-one with this one bc the two fights are interconnected (pov: one half of your polycule gets into a pretty major lovers' tiff and the other half gets dragged into it as collateral damage anyway. Sorry boys lol )

Both these fights are also the focal plot beats for a Hurt/Comfort oneshot, but alas, I can't get away with being too vague with this or the reasons why it was a fight kinda don't match up with the "what they learned from it" in the 2nd part of the question, so just act surprised a while from now when I post the fic, ok? XD(I've got all the dialogues and whatnot plotted out now, just gotta convert it to written prose �� ) This one ran away with me and got REALLY long, sorry (or you're welcome, I guess? lol)

Rai and Karlach: disclaimer: I know in-game it all kinda happens in the same convo but for some ~creative liberty~ (because I love me some good ol' Hurt/Comfort angst) I chopped the convo in half with the first bit happening before the fight (bc something Karlach says in the heat of the moment kicks it all off) and the latter half of Karlach realizing she does still want to live and is upset that she's still dying happening a couple days later, after the spat is resolved.

Karlach technically starts it after she hits out when they've killed Gortash but I wanna be clear when I say both of them are at fault for it. This is not only their biggest fight but also a powder-keg type of situation where things built up over time till they both exploded at eachother for different reasons, see below :

Karlach's very stubborn about not wanting to go back to Avernus at first - even into Act 3. Wyll and Rai ofc offer to go with her, but initially that doesn't help Karlach feel better. The worst thing she could possibly think of is putting two of the people she loves more than anything through the nightmare that is the Blood War. So when Rai keeps bringing it up and keeps pushing her about it, she snaps. Listen, I love Karlach a LOT and I think she means well, genuinely, and would never hurt her partner's feelings on purpose/maliciously. But she's a Yeller when she gets mad - and with Rai that is a BAD kind of mad to be. We see this in-game especially if you have her with you when you run into Gortash, and her heartbreaking meltdown after you kill him.

Logically, Rai knows the autonomy of getting to make that decision - to choose her freedom even if it means that it comes with death as an unwanted consequence - is important to Karlach, and if she was thinking logically at the time she would of course want to respect that. In theory. In practise however, it turned out "just sit there and watch me die" was not a line Rai was willing to draw. She gets pushy about Dammon's suggestion that they should take Karlach back to Avernus to stabilize her Engine, even when Karlach insists she's made her mind up and doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Rai keeps bringing it up over and over again, and insisting that she and Wyll would both go with her if it'd make it less scary for her, and just refuses to take "no" for an answer etc etc

By the time they kill Gortash and Karlach has her little meltdown she's just had enough of Rai throwing the suggestion into what feels like damn-near every conversation they've had since Dammon broke the news to them in Last Light. So she loses her temper and starts shouting before Rai can say it again.

And the thing about Rai is…she's emotionally reactionary. Whatever energy you give her, she'll bounce right back to you, she can't help it and hasn't quite figured out how to stop doing it at that point in time (though she does get better at it in the future!). If you keep your voice calm and level, she might growl and snap her teeth or smack her tail on something a little bit but eventually she'll match your energy and chill out to just talk about things. But if you yell and scream and shout and call her names? She's gonna yell, scream, and call you names back.

And that's exactly what happens. It's a huge miscommunication/misunderstanding between both of them. Karlach makes assumptions about Rai's past despite the fact that unlike Wyll and Dammon, she'd never really asked Rai about her childhood in Elturel or anything like that (again, I'll stress that I don't think this was done with deliberate malice, but I feel like being a little bit selfish is a realistic character flaw for Karlach to have. She's been through a lot and she gets tunnel-visioned on solving her own problems and when you pair that with Rai's brand of "too busy trying to fix everybody else to fix myself" trauma response and it's just an unfortunate combination. Rai never brought her own trauma up, and Karlach never thought to ask) So as a result, she thinks Rai "got lucky" not being in Elturel when it fell and that as a result, Rai is naïve and doesn't know "how bad" Avernus really was. Meanwhile, while she's certainly not as well-acquainted with it as Karlach and Dammon, Rai's not as ignorant as Karlach thinks. Her Mother Superior was a necromancy wizard, and one of Zariel's goons. The temple where Rai was "taken in" and raised was really just a front for training up either spellcasters or sword-fighters (depending on an individual's aptitude and uhh, the way they figured out where to funnel them was to use them as magical target practise until they either threw a spell back at their "tutors" or the staff agreed that it had been long enough and "they're too slow/useless at magic so idk just give them a sword I guess", basically - most of Rai's scars come from the early years where she was used as every other "student"'s magical punching bag, the rest are from Avarice's rituals, except for the one on the end of her tail which she got when Elturel came back and Rai didn't know the tieflings had been exiled so went back to try and look for Dammon, Rolan, Cal and Lia and ended up being attacked and driven off instead) to be ultimately sent to Avernus for Zariel to toss into the Blood War. She's been the unwilling participant in far too many necromancy rituals and while I haven't quite hammered out the full details of this yet, they were definitely not nice and she's definitely ended up looking some brand of devil or other in the eye before, during said rituals. I'm very much going for the angle of if Rai hadn't been assumed dead and left where she'd run off into the woods and she HAD been in Elturel when it went down? She'd have been just as fucked as Karlach was with Gortash. Straight to the Blood War with her, she would've been Infernal Engine prototype 2.0 and she and Karlach would've met fighting in the Blood War. Karlach doesn't know any of this, and thus makes a flippant off-hand comment that rubs the salt right into the open wound that is Rai's survivor's guilt without fully realising she's done it. Instead of staying to talk it out, Rai gets even angrier and storms off despite poor Wyll's best attempts to try and get between them and calm them down.

Dammon and Karlach: After Rai storms off, she finds herself going straight to Forge of the Nine. It's not a surprise really. She's known Dammon the longest and because Rai already felt bad that Wyll was in-between her and Karlach during their fight (they were having a screaming match in the middle of camp, it wasn't exactly quiet, or pretty D: ) she didn't want to make it worse for him by forcing him to pick a side, so Rai made the choice for Wyll and went to Dammon. Rai's so upset at first that Dammon's terrified Karlach's engine has exploded and Rai's here to tell him she's dead. When he finally calms her down enough for Rai to tell him what actually happened, he…doesn't feel that much better. He's too worried about Rai to go marching back to camp and confront Karlach himself, especially when she asks him "can I stay here tonight? I don't want to go back just yet". But he does stew (I like to think Dammon isn't one to get angry often. And even when he does he's not loud and shouty about it. It's more a broody, quiet, "give you the silent treatment" type of thing)

Karlach's the one, after she's calmed down, who ends up checking Dammon's place when the rest of the party split up the next morning to go looking for Rai after they realize she's still gone. Rai sleeps through Karlach's knocking (she had a hard night, did a lot of yelling/screaming and crying, ya girl passed tf out once Dammon wrangled her into a bath & then bed to sleep it off ;-; ) but Dammon doesn't. He tries to be patient with Karlach but when she starts posturing and growling and snapping at him, Dammon loses his temper right back. Again, he's not a Scream And Shout kind of angry but he is a "Do not raise your fucking voice at me!" kind of angry. It's a side of him that Karlach hasn't seen before and it stuns her so much that it shuts her right up, but Dammon keeps going. He ends up reading Karlach a bit of a riot act about how much, exactly, she'd hurt Rai's feelings because Rai was probably never going to admit it to Karlach herself and it gives Karlach some serious cause for self-reflection. Dammon and Karlach's fight only gets broken up when their back-and-forth finally gets through Rai's Sleepiness and she wakes up and stumbles down the stairs to find them mid-argument. Karlach feels so guilty when she locks eyes with Rai over Dammon's shoulder that she apologises on the spot, which leads to Rai apologising too and they work it out with a little bit of mutual encouragement from Dammon <3

As for what they learned from it: Rai defo gets the longest list but I'll do all 3 of them again bc why the hell not lol

Rai definitely learns to not let her emotions make her careless/less aware of her partners' feelings. As an orphan who was treated more like a tool/weapon by the main parental figure in her life (part of the reason, like Astarion and Karlach, that Astarion and Rai are besties. Cazador treated Astarion like a possession, Avarice raised Rai as a weapon and they're kindred spirits of sorts as a result despite Astarion complaining about Rai being "too nice" XD) for most of her formative years, Rai's emotional maturity very much comes from her stumbling face-first into the lessons/epiphanies herself lol

So she learns to be a bit less "keep my shit to myself but expect everyone to let me deal with their shit" and take up a bit more space/be a bit more communicative about her own trauma. "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you" and "Avernus fucking sucks and they're all haunted by it in some way or another" are the two overarching themes for Rai and her polycule 💖

She also learns to be a bit less impulsive. She ran off because she didn't want to force Wyll to "pick a side", but ended up doing exactly that to BOTH the boys, because she ran off first without thinking it through logically.

Karlach has a little "oh, shit" moment when Dammon sets her straight and she realizes that she never actually asked Rai anything about her time in Elturel or what it was like for her/why she danced around the subject. She just…made assumptions and didn't fact check or think that maybe her assumptions could've been wrong.

For my "version" of the story the snowball effect from this fight culminates in Karlach ultimately deciding that she doesn't want to die. She wants to LIVE. So when they get to the dock at the very end and Rai and Wyll tell her "we won't make the decision for you, but whatever you choose, we're with you". And she chooses Avernus in the end, because even though she's fucking terrified, the fact that after everything they've all been through with something from Avernus dogging their every effort to get away from it, both Rai and Wyll are still willing to go back too. For her. And if they can do it for her, then she can do it for them, and maybe buy Dammon enough time to figure out how to fix her heart for good. (I'm not crying you're crying /lh)

And she also learns that while she has a right to make her own decisions, she cannot presume to make those same decisions for anyone else in the polycule just because she thinks she's protecting them by doing it. She can make those decisions for herself, but she has to let them make theirs sometimes too, even if they're not the decision Karlach wanted them to make.

(honourable/slightly joke-y mention: "Don't piss off Dammon. He's scarier than any Raging barbarian when he's angry" lol)

Bonus Dammon, bc I love him and he's kinda a package deal with Rai /jk. Who gets to wrestle a little bit with guilt (it was his suggestion that snowballed into making his girls fight, after all ;-; ), the guilt from this fight is the straw that broke the camel's back in a biiiiiig pile of guilt he's been carrying around since Rai "disappeared" and he just believed Avarice when she said she was dead and never thought to try looking for her etc. He has to learn to make peace with it, before it starts eating him alive, sort of deal. ;3; Also feel like he gets a bit more comfortable with making his voice heard despite his general introverted nature. If he hadn't been a bit firmer with Karlach she might not have stayed quiet long enough to listen and the spat might've been a lot more drawn out than it ended up being so he gets a gold star for that hahaha

How do they react when the other is upset? How do they try to help?

Sorta-kinda talked about this one in question 10 with Rai and Dammon and Rai and Wyll so I'll do Rai and Karlach for this one! :3

I'd say it depends? Unlike Dammon who just gets angry but not necessarily violent, Rai and Karlach both have a tendency to get aggresisve/violent when the other one is hurt/upset. If its a specific person whose made them upset (and you know. it's not someone they already know/just a misunderstanding between friends) they will start threatening and even actually hurt the person responsible if they can get their hands on them. Be careful with upsetting the other one because you will have a homicidal tiefling on your ass and when she catches you she will rip you in half. Trust me on that one. If Wyll and/or Dammon can't talk her down.

When Raphael starts bothering Rai during the course of the game plot, Karlach has absolutely threatened to rip his face off if he dares lay a finger on Rai. This may or may not become foreshadowing, haven't written/planned anything that far ahead just yet so we'll see when/if I get there hahaha. If its just a general "someTHING happened and I am upset" the default is definitely cuddles. They're both absolute cuddle fiends, esp after Karlach's touchable again. If they're not busy adventuring or helping with camp chores they are huddled on a bedroll snuggling, but this is doubly true when one of them is upset because cuddle piles fix everything. "No you may not bother her until she decides she's done, unless you want IN the cuddle pile too then go ahead". You get the idea lolol

What values do they not share? How do they reconcile those differences?

Going with Rai and Dammon for this one bc they're the first ones that came to mind when I looked at this question!

Rai's definitely a warrior/soldier at heart. Fighting comes naturally to her, whether Dammon likes it or not (and assuming that she'd had a "normal" childhood and not been scooped up by Avarice, this would still be true. Just instead she would've probably ended up a Hellrider instead of an Acolyte). It doesn't mean that he's not going to worry, or freak out, when she charges into something dangerous. Especially because Dammon is the opposite. As I said earlier, I think he can fight, he just chooses not to because he doesn't like it.

From Rai's end, it works perfectly fine. She's never expecting Dammon to come with her into battle, she knows he hates it. But Dammon does worry. He's terrified that one day she'll leave for a battle and never come back. And he won't be there, it'll be Wyll and Karlach by themselves coming back to give him the bad news. Dammon doesn't think his heart can take it. He's definitely had panic attacks before because of worrying about Rai charging off into a fight, but he's had to make peace with the fact that it's in her blood and he can't stop her. A frequent exchange between them before Rai runs right into something dangerous is usually Dammon telling her "I don't need you to be a hero, I just need you to be alive and safe" ( D: ). But he has to learn to trust her when she responds with "I promise you, I am coming back. I'm coming home to you when it's over". The more times she does come back, the more he starts to believe it even if the worry doesn't ever completely go away </3.

Rai always makes sure to "check in" with him before and after a fight as a result. Because even if it seems silly to her, she knows Dammon needs to hear her say it. (Also I think once they end up in the closed polycule with Karlach and Wyll, and knowing that they're there to watch eachothers' backs helps Dammon's anxiety be a bit less bad!)

What's different about their backgrounds? Do those differences affect the relationship?

And again bc they were the first pair I thought of after looking at the question, Rai/Wyll ✨

Rai's an orphan, with the Acolyte background because she was raised in a temple in Elturel and the closest thing to a "parent" she ever had was her Mother Superior, Avarice (who is also a Bhaalspawn a.k.a canon-divergent Durge). Even then, Avarice was not at all nurturing past the absolute bare minimum and by that I mean "don't kill the child soldier before she's been put to use in the Blood War" kind of deal. She has no memory of her biological parents whatsoever and doesn't really even know what having parents feels like.

Wyll on the other hand at least has his dad. But as a result of her childhood, Rai doesn't really…understand, the father-son dynamic that Wyll and Ulder have because she never had anything even close to that in her formative years. She's never deliberately confrontational with Ulder but it definitely takes her a LONG time to warm up to him after Wyll tells her about how he ended up pacted with Mizora as a result of what went on between him and his dad. She doesn't want to make things difficult for Wyll (on purpose) or tell him he can't have a relationship with his father. But she definitely doesn't GET it for a good long while and I think that would definitely bleed over into her relationship with Wyll until she can work through it.

(also something to be said for the Nobility/essentially a street urchin class-gap possibly? But no immediate anecdotes come to mind as of typing this. Just that I think that def creates some differences of experience for them that I'll prolly expand upon/explore more as I write more for them! :D)

Who said "I love you" first?

Aaand for this one, I'mma do all the Tav(Rai) ships again, because I think they're all equally cute and I can't just do one sorry! :D So here we goooo, in no particular order ~

Rai and Dammon: Both, pretty much. As discussed in question 10, Rai and Dammon have known eachother pretty much their entire lives. Their "I love you" was a "both of them blurted it out at exactly the same time" deal. When Zevlor recognised Rai and thus let them into the grove, and she started milling around and reconnecting with old friends/acquaintances/found family from Elturel, it takes her a little while to come across Dammon because his makeshift forge is tucked so far into the back of where the tieflings are staying. And while he's close with the other tieflings, Dammon does prefer to keep to himself so when there's a commotion at the gate he doesn't think it's his place to go sticking his nose in. It's probably something to do with a fight, and ever since Avernus he doesn't want much to do with fighting anymore (I'm also a "Dammon is an introvert" truther. And while I think he can wield a sword I feel like he very much chooses not to. Avernus fucking sucked my dudes, and I don't think he enjoys being on or around a battlefield AT ALL after getting back, though he will craft/fix weapons, armour, shields etc for his friends and family and if it called for it (like helping protect the tiefling kiddos during the grove raid, or defending Moonrise with the Tadpole squad and the Harpers) he will pick up a sword and fight if he HAS to. But he'd very much rather not if he has the choice between fighting or not.)

Eventually, she wanders to the back where his forge is and suddenly Rai is hit with a wave of recognition when she catches sight of Dammon and realizes it's him. She ends up getting his attention by calling out to her and at that point he almost burns himself dropping the weapon he'd been putting through the coals because as far as Dammon thought, Rai had died during the fuss with Elturel and he couldn't believe she was here - cue them both almost strangling eachother with hugs, a lot of tears and a very rushed out "I love you" because with the way Rai was carting around looking for a way to get un-tadpoled, they had no idea if there would be a "next time" that they saw eachother alive again and "I need you to know". ;3;

Rai and Wyll: Wyll went first here, but only just. Rai and Wyll's "I love you" was very much both of them were waiting for the other one to say it first because they were worried it was Too Soon(tm) otherwise. Wyll was the one that cracked first and Rai said it back ahem I may also have a fic for this hence why this one is so short, I don't want to spoiler y'all before I'm done w/ the oneshot and that was that.

Rai and Karlach: Rai went first, she'd known she loved Karlach for a while (I'd even make a cheesy "love at first sight" argument for these two tbh lol). Post-Engine upgrade 2, Karlach had a good cry when she realized it had worked, and as she cuddled and comforted her a little "I love you" slipped out into Karlach's hair. Karlach wasn't too far behind, it pretty much went down how it does in-game after they finally get to go to bed on that same night because I just think her getting so excited and yelling "ILOVEYOUTOO!" back at Rai is so goddamn cute that I have to keep it in there ;3; ❤️

[leatherlaceandrope]

Hi, call me Legion. This is my really kinky sideblog where I cum come to be horny. I'm a good and sometimes feisty kitty. Don't worry, I try not scratch and bite too hard. I prefer cuddles and pets most of the time. 😻😻😻

I'm a 31 year old trans creature man and go by he/him and it/its pronouns. It's complicated and kinda fluid, like it's 5d spacetime instead of just 4d. Also still feminine because I love cute and pretty things. And as my blog description says, bisexual because I specifically like to go by vibe more than anything else. So, really just plain queer.

I'm also a polyfrag DID system, so different parts have slightly different preferences. We're not likely to talk about it outside this post but it is important. It basically means our gatekeeper team has full control of what can and can't be done to our mind. Some of us refer to one of our oldest alters as Sir, because right now we need him to fill a dominant role for us. System relationships have been our main way of exploring what we like. If you do want to see that mess of recovery, it's @eldritch-queern-magicat.

As a whole, I'm not looking for any serious relationships. I don't care if I just happen to fall into one, but I'm not actively looking. There's a lot of other stuff I need to sort out first before I get to that point. This is simply about having fun with others.

Anyway here's the stuff I'm definitely into:

Hypnosis/mindlessness/brainwashing

Dronification/robotification/dollification

Objectification (with praise/aftercare)

Tentacles/monster fucking

Bondage

Pet play

Spanking/biting (not super hard though)

Edging/orgasm denial

Bimbofication/dumbification (because feminine yay plus I think way too much sometimes)

Mommy domme little boy

There are other things, but you'll have to message me privately for those because they're really not for everybody and are entirely restricted to fantasy roleplay (because puberty did some weird things I'm still figuring out)

Other notes about what I like:

I'm always a kitty-cat first but I'm not against exploring playing as other animals (this can be creative because I love animals in general)

Please call me a cute little thing or something like it, or pretty

Femboy, girlboy, or girly boy are cool, too

My top is my chest, and those are the only words I want used

Though you may call my bottom some variation of man/boy pussy/cunt

It/its pronouns aren't totally for kinky reasons but they do amplify some of the effects by nature of their common use

I'm often eager to please and make sure other participants are having a good time so I expect needs to be communicated clearly

I've got a history of being really shy with others so even a bit of praise can go so far because I want to be appreciated

You're gonna have to build up to some of the spicy stuff I'm not listing here to make sure you actually respect boundaries

And then my absolute HARD NOs:

Tickling, bodily waste (scat, piss, vomit, etc), weight loss/gain, age play, race play, incest, any physical endangerment (I'm putting breath-play (that isn't just holding your breath longer than normal) under this, as an asthmatic)

If something you're into isn't on the list of stuff I'm definitely into, but it's not listed as a hard no, message me and we can talk about it. I'm not just going to close myself off to new ideas or kinks even if I don't understand them. May even lead to expanding my yay list. I'm an incredibly curious person.

My DNI is the basics for a kink blog, really. I don't want bigots and assholes here, and ABSOLUTELY NO ONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. No minors. This is an adult-only space. That said, if you don't have your age listed and easy to find, that's on you. I will not be held responsible for the ‘what if’ you happen to be under age 18 but just aren't saying so/are actually lying. But I will use my own discretion if I have reason to suspect you're under 18. If confirmed, you will be reported and blocked. I'm operating on good faith of only adults interacting with this sideblog. Any form of age indication, even if you just say 18+ only or something, still makes me feel more comfortable with interacting here than none.

If you want something for some non-sexual, still weird fun, allow me to direct you to my general audiences drone roleplay blog, @drone-unit8454. Just remember to keep the horny shit here.

No unsolicited real life pictures by the way! And pictures of genitals will be responded to appropriately by you ending up blocked. I'm also absolutely not be giving out any pictures of myself. I'm really shy about showing myself to people online. Especially since it's Tumblr. What I do accept are things like spirals and other such gifs. If you're not sure about something, just ask.

I have the most real world experience as a sub, but if you're exclusively a sub, I wouldn't mind acting as a soft, service-oriented dom. Like I said, I'm eager to please (but let's also take it easy starting out). Either way, I'll always try to be flexible within reason. My ask box and messages are open.

Will probably edit this thing as time goes on.

[shinydixon]

seeing a vq/hellcheer go crazy in a comment and tell a steddie that chrissy is bisexual made me realize there is absolutely no chance of conversation with them. they're too far gone in their own delusion. they live in this bubble where they yell at and block anyone with a different opinion than theirs thus creating this echo chamber where the only opinions they have are coming from their own group. and pls don't get me wrong, chrissy could be bi. the thing is, they claim to love hellcheer so much and say that is canon but there wasn't a single scene where it was implied/stated chrissy was bi in canon. they also call her eddie's gf when she wasn't. they don't see chrissy as a character. they see grace, an actress who is bisexual and in a relationship with someone else and they don't respect that because they want grace and joe to live out what chrissy and eddie didn't. the truth is, chrissy doesn't even have ten minutes of screentime. the only time we really see her talking to joe is during the forest scene where there's this very innocent and kind interaction between them. it's when we learn that eddie is a sweetheart. then the scene where she gets killed. that's it. and the truth of the matter is, before eddie got this popular, before vol2 dropped with the guitar scene, the duffer brothers had no problem stating the forest scene was just to introduce vecna. then hellcheer got huge, eddie got huge, couples were dressing up as them during halloween (i think steddie is bigger than hellcheer and there were a lot of people dressing up as them too. it makes me mad how that's never brought up. thankfully joe hyped us up a lot, especially when he kept mentioning steve during cons.), and ooooh more money incoming, more people watching the show and suddenly to the duffer brothers hellcheer was something that could have happened and they regret killing chrissy right away. yeah. sure. joe has also says 'yeah, it -ship name- could've worked' to every ship question he gets. and people don't seem to understand he won't go into a profound rant about eddie's love life. he's said yes to steddie, hellcheer and johnatan/steve. he won't sit there at a con, look straight into a fan's face and say 'no, you're wrong, you absolute buffoon, this ship would never ever ever ever work' but anyway, yeah, that's what i wanted to say. vqs will forever drown in their own delusions and convince themselves they're the victms.

I love how Joe brings up Steve and when he does, he has that grin on his face 😭😭😭🤍🤍🤍

Also, it's no secret they can't separate chrissy from grace, which is something Grace kinda did in the past (chrissy got called regular white girl and she said "at least my cat doesn't think I'm regular"... Who was talking about you? They were talking about Chrissy lol).

Anyway, I don't care what vq say, considering they always makes up things, ⭐JOE IS CO-CAPTAIN OF STEDDIE ⭐

And about Duffer? They say whatever brings money in their pockets

[fastidious-and-a-mess]

I keep getting disappointed by how often I serch for riz fan content only to see Fariz (or other Riz ships included in it) I started watch fh cause I heard people talking about riz being aroace, good aroace characters are hard to find and I love all of them that I do find. so to see so much of the fandom just dismiss Riz being aroace in favor of their ships is very disappointing

disclaimer; in writing this response, i tended to lean more towards talking about fic and less about fanart because that’s where i’ve seen the most of what you’re talking about. also, in some places i strayed to talking about aroace characters in general and not just riz, which honestly i feel is appropriate because what happens to him happens to a lot of characters.

i totally understand what you mean. as an aroace person, it can be really disheartening to see things like “aroace people can still be in relationships!” etc etc.

honestly a lot of the fabriz content i’ve come across has been with demi!riz, which i don’t have too much of an issues with? in canon, he’s never had close friends like the bad kids before, so he’d never formed that close bond with anyone that would lead him to discovering his sexuality. i’ve read a few fics that do this pretty well, and in this context personally i think putting riz into romantic relationships is fine. not great, but not flat out erasure either.

although, sometimes it does feel like an excuse to be able to put him into relationships. like someone interpreting riz’s kind of vague sexuality in a way that allows them to write him in a ship without technically erasing his aro/ace-ness. and you’re absolutely right, that can feel very dismissive.

there’s a similar thing with people writing him aroace and still writing him into qprs. like, yes aroace people are often involved in exclusive and intimate relationships that, although explicitly not romantic or sexual, often involve a lot of the same mechanics as those relationships. but sometimes people just use that as an excuse to effectively write him into a traditional romantic/sexual relationship. they’ll think it’s fine because they’ll say he’s still aroace and it’s a qpr but i can tell there’s a very subtle difference between actually aro/ace people writing him in a qpr and allo people writing him in a qpr.

but then there’s so much riz content that just. chooses to ignore it completely. they’ll write riz into relationships with absolutely zero consideration for how he canonically is some flavor of aroace. to his aroace-ness implied or coding and not explicitly canon because they never label it would be like say fig’s queerness is only implied or coded because they never label it. fig kisses girls, and without labels that’s MORE than “enough” for her to be acknowledged as canonically queer, but riz has conversation after conversation after offhand comment about how he isn’t into the whole crushes relationships kissing thing, and for some people it’s STILL not enough to “earn” him a queer label. some people are quicker to accept a bisexual gorgug headcanon, which to my knowledge was never implied or suggested in canon at all, than to accept riz’s very canon aromantic/asexual identity. and it’s frustrating.

WHOOPS this was longer than i intended. as always. but anyways TL,DR: there are some instances where, when given proper nuance, depth, and care, riz can be appropriately written into a relationship without erasing his aroace identity. however, all too often people attempt to do that or say they attempt to do that and instead use those practices as an excuse to write him, effectively, alloromantic/allosexual. people just flat out ignoring and erasing his canon identity for the sake of their ships is also a common problem. so, even though there are a few nuanced exceptions, by and large i completely agree. aroace characters just don’t get the same respect for their identities that other queer characters do.

[brothermouse]

Do you think that patriarchal blessings could be homophobic/heteronormative in terms of who you're supposed to marry? I am a lesbian and my blessing details me finding my husband and the 4+ children that we're supposed to have together, and it honestly feels like God has 0 understanding of me as a human being because I don't want to marry a man, nor do I want any children.

Am I crazy for thinking maybe these AREN'T the words that I was supposed to hear about my actual life and instead something that I was TOLD rather than what's meant for me? I've always, ALWAYS been taught that the patriarchal blessing is law and something that you cannot escape as long as you are faithful, even if you don't want those blessings.

I just don't feel like I've ever really heard any LBBTQ+ members talk about their patriarchal blessings in terms of their queerness and I was interested for your thoughts.

Patriarchal blessings are a strange beast to figure out. Not quite scripture, not quite fortune telling, mystical yet codified.

I think you’re right that most blessings use gendered terms where those specific genders are inaccurate. I think that comes down to the way we receive the blessings. I imagine each Patriarch is different, but the way they receive revelation on what the blessing should say ought to be reasonably similar to the ways other revelation is received.

That is to say, with a few exceptions, revelation tends to be a vibe that is put into words. The vibes may be 100% accurate, but the words are going to be limited to the patriarch’s vocabulary.

For example; my blessing contains the following line: “I bless you that at the right time you will find a young lady…and that you will be happily married.” Now, knowing that I am bisexual, a “young lady” is is not the only option. Also, as I creep into my 30s a young lady is becoming one of the more problematic options. But here’s the thing: I received my blessing in 2008. Same sex marriage was legalized in the USA in 2015. My patriarch was probably in his 70s at the time. So, the idea that someone could marry either gender was probably not a possibility he had ever really considered. Not part of his vocabulary, you see? As for the “young” part, I’m convinced that this man would call any woman he met a young lady as, what he would consider, a sign of respect, regardless of age.

So he got an impression: “this person will get married at the right time to a good person.” Given the local culture and his own vocabulary, he said “at the right time you will marry a young lady”.

What I guess I’m trying to say is that the blessing itself isn’t the written words on the page. The ink on paper is just an access point. Something you can reference in your questions to God. I.e. “in this line, the patriarch said this, what did you tell him to prompt that?”

In your case it may be that God told the patriarch that you and a partner will lovingly care for and protect others. Because of the limits of his social and cultural vocabulary, he interpreted that to mean marriage with children.

It might be helpful to try and make an “Inspired Version” of your blessing. Prayerfully go line by line and rewrite it in your own words as the spirit dictates. Be sure to recognize that you, too, have a limited vocabulary to work with, and you may want to revisit and revise in the future.

Now, as for this:

I've always, ALWAYS been taught that the patriarchal blessing is law and something that you cannot escape as long as you are faithful, even if you don't want those blessings.

I believe that you were taught incorrectly. God respects your agency, even if humans don’t. He will not give you a “blessing” that you don’t want. It’s important to remember that all teachings not directly from the spirit come from imperfect mouths. If a teaching doesn’t pass the smell test for you, there’s probably a good reason.

There are mortal things and there are divine things. As part of the Plan of Salvation, we are largely cut off from the divine things for our protection. As long as we get our information of the divine through flawed mortal tools we can easily be forgiven for getting things wrong. If you don’t understand your patriarchal blessing, that’s ok. You probably never will fully understand it. As long as you try to understand, that’s enough.