#he grows more comfortable over time. this poor kid is just so guilty because hes so happy at his uncle finally being fucking DECENT to him

[spaghettiandart]

Hello! I’m a recent follower, and I really love your Old Man Phil AU. I was wondering, does Phil ever realize that he was a racist, genocidal zealot who was going to be responsible for a *lot* of deaths on the Day of Unity? If so, how does he feel when he remembers? You don’t have to answer this if your ask box is super full, or if you just don’t want to.

Hey! Sorry for taking a while to get back to this post, it's been a while since I've watched TOH and my interest in the au has died down. But I have thought about how a possible reveal like this would go, though since the au was mostly for laughs (and so I could relentlessly bully Belos) I didn't put much in depth thought into it.

I do love to ramble, though, so let me ramble a bit about how I'd like to portray "the reveal" in the au

Since this is a early season 1 au, a LOT of things are obviously diverging from canon, too many to really write down right now. Thered be different events entirely from canon, things that occurred as a catalyst of either Belos's actions or the actions or people associated with him would either not occur at all or occur differently, so the timeline is definitely going to look a lot different.

That said, I think having Phil realize/remember who he was/is should happen around... maybe mid-to-late season 2? I mean like. I don't know how exactly itd go. Maybe he falls down another set of stairs, wakes up, and goes "HOLY SHIT" like right after

I feel like itd be a huge tonal whiplash. Also itd be like... okay, so memories do shape a person, and the new memories "Phil" forms shapes him. So I imagine if/when the old memories comes back, there's a definite conflict of priorities/moral values going on there. I mean I imagine inherently Belos/Philip is an incredibly selfish person with a list of crimes several miles long, BUT he also believes that everything he's doing is the right thing (for whom, whether it be himself or humanity or whatever season 3 revealed, is up in the air) even when he takes enjoyment from the suffering of others during the process (literally just count any of the times hes hurt someone else in the show) like hes so full of himself it physically hurts, so obviously he'd probably try to rationalize everything to himself. Because I imagine having the willpower to keep on doing shit like that for CENTURIES takes a BUNCH of rationalization and leaps of logic, especially since hes a zealot who grew up within heavily religious and I imagine almost cultish surroundings.

I imagine denial. HEAVY denial. Imagine one day you're just some old dude with a mildly shitty attitude and then the next day you wake up and remember your entire past life where you were a racist, genocidal, puritanical tyrant that had extended his own life by unnatural means and also killed his own brother and did WHAT with his body and also is planning to Literally Murder Everyone. What do you even do in that situation?

I dont think hed be able to look anyone in the eye at all after learning that. A) because these are people past-him wanted to MURDER, and B) because a very decent part of him, after having regained those memories, still feels the ingrained hate and vitriol it once had towards witches.

Its strange to think of where hed go from that point, because you'd have to take into account both his older personality and his newer personality and the morals, memories, relationships, etc both past him and current him had, since they'd all affect what hed do.

But basically: a whole mix of emotions including guilt (at the whole murder and being a terrible human being thing like seriously awful), rage (at losing his memories in the first place), even more rage (at having "played house" with witches and demons), denial, denial, and more denial.

[jaemsljn]

beautiful boy | M.L

-

A/N: i saw a video of this baby getting shots and his dad was singing to him to distract him, the baby didn’t even cry and i was like !!mark!!!! mark lee!! so i hope you enjoy my dad mark brain rot (i tried to avoid gendered terms for the reader or any physical description but lmk if there are any mistakes) this is unedited omg also the nurse calls mark “dad” a few times it's weird but nurses do that shit during baby appointments .. (the song is beautiful boy by John Lennon)

PAIRING: mark x gender neutral reader

WORD COUNT: 981

GENRE: fluff, angst if you squint

WARNINGS: Needles!!

“Babe, relax, I think you’re more stressed than he is.”

You pull your eyes away from the nurse preparing the needle and instead meet the gaze of your husband. You glance down at your son in his arms, who is indeed, far more relaxed than you.

“I’m just nervous. These are his first vaccinations and I feel like a terrible parent just bringing him here to get stabbed.”

Mark lets out a chuckle in front of you but upon seeing the affronted look on your face he quickly covers it up with a cough.

“I’m serious Mark! It sounds stupid and I know this is better for him in the long run but I just feel so guilty. What if he inherited my phobia of needles? and then he’ll forever hate me for forcing him to get a bunch of shots.”

You catch the quick upturn on Mark’s lips before he speaks, “Listen I get what you mean okay? It’s sucks having to let your kid get hurt but it really is for his own good. Imagine how much worse he would feel if he got Polio? or whooping cough?”

The nurse rolls her cart to stand beside you and your husband, you’d nearly forgotten she was in the room.

“Dad’s right you know? and I can promise you Baby’s not gonna remember any of this. Plus, I think he’s just happy he’s got his parents here with him, even if it’s scary.”

You gently nod at her words, feeling a bit more comforted.

“You’re doing great I promise, no parent likes taking their kids for vaccinations but it just shows that you’re a good one because you’re doing it anyway.”

You thanked her before looking back over to your husband. When your eyes met his you found complete adoration on his face as he stared at you. That soft smile and that tender look in his eyes that he only seems to get when he looks at you or your baby boy.

what.

you mouth to him, not wanting to be too cheesy in front of this poor nurse.

I just love you.

He mouths back. your heart grows impossibly more at the undying love the man in front of you has for you.

You’re interrupted from your love fest by the nurse clearing her throat.

“Alright, dad you ready? I’m gonna have you keep holding him like you are. Just a regular cradle and I’ll inject the shot in his upper thigh. Make sure to be ready to hold him more firmly if he tries to wiggle away. Oh! and don’t be shocked if he starts to cry, it’s completely normal.”

She looks at both of you with the last sentence and your heart breaks all over again imagining Mark having to hold Toby down while he cries.

The nurse kneels in front of Mark, cleaning your son's leg with an alcohol pad. Toby jumps a little at the coldness of the antiseptic and looks like he’s about to cry from the shock to his system. Before he's able to let out a single whine Mark is quick to distract him.

“Hey, dude you’re okay. it’s just a little cold. Daddy’s right here baby I got you.” You’re shocked at the way Toby immediately settles, smiling up at his dad like he hangs the stars in the sky (it seems he got at least one thing from you)

as the nurse reproaches with the needle and squeezes Toby’s chunky little thighs between her fingers you feel your heart drop into your stomach. Normally you’d be over there trying to comfort your baby as well but honestly, your nerves would probably make toby more scared.

Before the nurse can even push the needle in Mark is already distracting your baby boy. He puts his face close to his nuzzling their noses together, the most adorable grin on his face before he begins to sing.

“Close your eyes

Have no fear

The monsters gone

He’s on the run

and your daddy’s here.”

The nurse pushes the needle in.

“Beautiful beautiful beautiful,

beautiful boy.”

You see Toby twitch when the nurse injects the needle but you’re shocked at the fact he never breaks eye contact with Mark or loses that little grin on his face.

At that moment you think you’ve fallen even more in love with Mark Lee.

The nurse pulls the needle out, still not even a whine from Toby. Mark immediately begins to praise him. Telling him how well he did and how much daddy loves him.

You’re almost in shock at how well Mark handled that. He has to have some supernatural power to have been able to keep the baby’s attention through that. It seems the nurse had the same thought because she soon chimed in as she places a cute little kitty bandaid on his leg, “You’re a natural at that Dad! I’m honestly shocked a little, I’ve never seen a baby handle a shot so well. Even the best cry at least a little, but he was smiling the whole way through.” She finishes placing the bandaid on and turns to you, “you’re very lucky.”

You grin at her before speaking, “Boy don’t I know it.”

You take careful steps towards your two boys and kneel in front of them. You place a gentle hand on Toby’s forehead, who’s still smiling up at his dad.

“You’re fucking amazing do you know that?”

Mark lets out a bashful chuckle at your words.

“I mean, I do have to be pretty great to deserve somebody like you. But seriously babe I know that was hard for you, I’m proud of you for sticking through it.”

You elected not to speak and just leaned in to kiss your husband. Home will always be with Mark's skin on yours, and your sweet baby boy in one of your arms.

[startanewdream]

James and/or Sirius laughing at Harry for growing (or trying to) grow a beard 🧔

That’s it

That’s my comment

Ahhh, it's midnight for me I work early tomorrow but I just *had* to write something along these lines!

Set during winter break at Year 6 (or my fave pining Harry time). Warning for some slang and also that I edited on the phone

________

“Fuck. No, no, it can’t be… fuck!”

The first slang would have made Sirius stop on his way down the hall, but the tone of desolation that follows it, added by the most hopelessness he has ever heard in Harry's voice, makes him open the door to his godson’s bedroom without waiting for an answer.

(Always risky when it comes to teenagers, but it seems to be an emergency)

The first thing he notices is the rotten smell, then the smoke coming out of a cauldron with the fire beneath still lit; sparkles are coming out of Harry’s wand, which he holds high (underage magic? That he won’t tell), but then Sirius’ gaze falls on Harry’s face and he ignores anything else.

Because on Harry’s face there is something so horrendous that Sirius won’t dare to call it a beard. It’s hair.

Harry’s chin spots the same hair as in his head. It’s a dark messy beard that makes him look as if his hair grew all around his mouth.

“What the hell?”

“Don’t laugh!” Harry tells him immediately, a little bit threatening, but Sirius is truly too shocked to even break a smile. This thing is too ghastly for even him to crack a joke about it. “I… I messed up, okay?”

“Kid, that’s an overstatement,” Sirius says, getting closer to his godson slowly. He touches his beard. “How did you get hair on your chin? That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Ugh.” Harry throws a guilty look to the cauldron on the floor. “It’s Grandpa Monty’s fault.”

“Unless his ghost came back to screw your face, it seems as if you did this to yourself, kid.”

“No, I… Look!” He picks a scroll, waving it in front of Sirius’ nose. “I found his old notes in the attic. Five-Second Eazybeard! I swear I brewed the potion exactly as he wrote.”

Sirius eyes the smelly potion.

“Are you sure it was your granddad’s notes? This doesn’t seem like Monty's style at all.”

“Well… I thought so. He was the potioneer in the family, right? And he invented Sleekeazy!”

“And then he didn’t launch anything else,” Sirius reminds him, looking at the potion instructions.

“Because he was rich enough and didn’t need more money?”

Sirius laughs. “Nah, Monty was curious enough to keep inventing. This was probably an attempt that didn’t work.” Sirius shakes his head, smirking. “Look, I am not trying to pull a Lily here, but trying untested potions? That’s a bad idea, Harry.”

"I haven't had problems so far," Harry mumbles to himself. As Sirius is about to ask him what he means by that, Harry grabs his hand suddenly. "I learned the lesson, ok? Now you gotta help me!"

Sirius lifts an eyebrow. "The only thing that would help you is a scissor."

"I've tried! The bathroom is full of this thing, but it just grew back! I've tried to cut it magically, and it's all the same. You are the adult here, do something!"

"What do you want me to do? I can't do an antidote just looking at the ingredient list! You need Lily, just call her—"

"I…" the part of Harry's face that is not covered by hair flushes. "I can't. She is at the Burrow now, helping Mrs Weasley with the New Year's party."

"Then let's go, I am sure it will be easy for her—"

"No!" Harry looks in panic now, his eyes widened. "She cannot know what… what happened."

"Lily will know as soon as—"

"Not… not Mum, it's… look, that's fine. Mum will be back tomorrow, I will just spend the New Year hiding in my room pretending I don't exist."

"Harry… there's nothing to be embarrassed about. You know, growing hair body is perfectly normal at your age—"

"Ugh, stop teasing me."

"I wish I could, but you look truly horrible." Sirius winks at him, sitting on Harry's bed. "What prompted you to do this?"

Harry's flush intensifies.

"I was trying to grow a beard."

"Oh, really?"

"It's… it's stupid, okay? But Ginny was… I mean, I heard some girls saying that they enjoyed guys with a beard and I can only grow that stupid stubble and—argh—I just thought I could give it a try but now I have hair growing all around my head and—"

"You are babbling, kid, I got it."

"No, you don't." Harry runs his hand through his hair, looking very much like James when he is most nervous. "You get to grow a beard when you want it. You get this whole shining hair. You get women to sigh for you and I… I am just this stupid teenager who can't even have a full beard."

Sirius blinks. "You are worrying way too much, Harry. And, well, if you want to be assured, you are nice—girls have taken a fancy to you, haven't they?"

"That's just the Chosen One thing, it's not really… me."

Sirius fights back a smile. Harry seems really desolate.

"Look, you've grown well. You are still growing. I am sure people notice you. You have your mother's gorgeous eyes and you do look like James—if there is any comfort in this, I remind you that James got Lily to feel attracted to him, so you can't be that bad." Harry frowns, and Sirius isn't sure if it's because he doesn't want to think of their parents being attracted to each other or if because he doesn't trust Lily's opinion on this matter. "I am sure Ginny thinks you are attractive, beard or no beard."

Harry jumps.

"Who said anything—"

"Oh, are we still pretending you don't fancy her?"

Harry looks away. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Yeah, sure. So you don't mind going to the Burrow now and showing up like this?"

"Of course I do! I mean… Ron would tease me."

"Ron."

"And the twins. I mean, look at this!"

"Yeah, I would be upset if they didn't. So many joke opportunities. You are hairy, Harry."

Harry puts his hands in front of his face. Sirius refrains from telling him this doesn't hide his beard at all.

"So… what do I do now?"

"We truly need Lily's help on this… we need to go to the Burrow."

"I can't—"

"Don't worry." Sirius breathes heavily. "Your godfather won't leave you alone on this."

_________

"It was an accident, Lily," Sirius tells her, his hand playing with the hair over his chin. His new grown hair beard reaches his chest and Sirius is almost finishing a braid by now. "I was trying some old potion, and then Harry was close and it just splashed in both of us."

Lily lifts her eyebrows, her eyes moving from Sirius to Harry and then back.

"An accident?" she repeats, incredulous.

"I am so sorry," he says, the portrait of innocence. "Could you help us with an antidote? And before you say anything, I know I shouldn't have tested an unknown potion. But do this for Harry, not for me. Poor kid doesn't deserve to spend the night hiding. It's a New Year's party after all!"

Lily shakes her head, amused.

"Fine, because you asked so eloquently. I will grab my potion kit, a hair inhibitor should be enough."

"You truly are the best, Lily," Sirius tells her, beaming.

Harry waits until his mother is out of the room to let out a relieved breath.

"Thanks so much, Sirius," he says.

Sirius nods, still messing with the hair on his chin. It's so weird and it looks as ghastly in him as it does on Harry.

He doesn't regret applying that potion to his face. His sacrifice worked just as he planned to: with two people having hair growing out of their chins, the attention was divided and with Sirius taking the blame, people felt sorry enough for Harry to not mock him much.

"Hey," they turn around to see Ginny coming closer, holding a tray with some sandwiches for them. "Mum thought you would be hungry while hiding here."

"Thanks," Sirius says, because Harry seems too busy pretending to look outside the window, anything so he can try to avoid Ginny looking at his beard.

Ginny nods at Sirius, but she approaches Harry anyway.

"Your mum is already working on the antidote, don't worry," she tells him gently. "Look, it's not as bad as that time Percy tried to grow a moustache, remember?"

Harry chuckles. "You are so lying."

"I would never," she assures him, voice light. "Look at me."

Harry turns to her almost as if he can't control it. His eyes soften as he gazes upon her, and Sirius is suddenly reminded of how Lily always looks when she sees James.

Ginny raises her hand slowly, giving Harry plenty of time to back away, but he just stays quiet as she touches his beard, her fingers running through it. Sirius suspects Harry isn't even breathing anymore.

"It's soft," she tells Harry and for a moment they just stare at each other. Sirius decides that he is really witnessing a moment that he doesn't want to, but his attempt to quietly leave the room only alerts them to his presence. Ginny's hand falls back as if she got electrocuted. "Anyway, you look better without it."

Harry grimaces. "I guess that stupid stubble is better than this."

"Stupid stubble?" Ginny blinks, evidently surprised. "It's not stupid, I… I mean, girls love it on you."

"They do?"

"Yeah, well, just thinking about your stubble brushing my skin—I mean, their skin, as in other girls' shoulders, or holding your face while… never mind, I just… I just heard it, that's all. You are drawing a lot of attention."

"I know, all this Chosen One stupid thing—"

"It's not it... you are really oblivious to your charm, Harry."

"You think I am charming?" Harry asks, longing evident in his voice now.

"I…" Ginny hesitates, turning away as if she doesn't want to answer this while looking at Harry, and her eyes meet Sirius. He smirks at her, knowing perfectly well her answer. Ginny's face reddens even as her jaw sets in a protective instance. "Yeah, with the stubble. Everyone knows it. It's common knowledge. I… I have to go, I think I heard Mum calling me."

Sirius could point out that Molly didn't call her at all, but he opts for just letting Ginny go, his smirk more than enough to let her know she didn't fool him.

At the other corner of the room, Harry's face is spotting a huge grin, watching the door with a dreamy expression.

"She likes my stubble!" He declares happily. "Oh, I need to take off this stupid long beard now."

Sirius shakes his head at Harry, amused. At least Harry won't ever complain about his inability to grow a beard again.

[where-is-my-beheading-ceremony]

Aaaaa headcannons!

Claytro edition! (purely based on my personal thoughts)

(note: feel free to enjoy, but if this ship is not something you are interested reading about then I totally understand, have fun scrolling the Nexo Knights tags! ❤️)

-Clay is the only one that has actually managed to touch Jestro's hair, but it was a lot shorter when they were still kids

-These two have regular sleepovers since after Jestro started training to be a royal Jester, they couldn't be roommates anymore

-Yes they were roommates for a few years and Merlok would read them bedtime stories

-Jestro gets cold in his sleep often so Clay would sleep with them to help them feel warmer along with the pile of 3 blankets

-The two also sleep together whenever they feel bad (had a nightmare, stressed, emotional). Less so as adults though since now they barely ever sleep

-Surprisingly, Jestro doesn't fear the cold too much. He doesn't enjoy it more so because of the memories of cold winters in the streets and not because of how cold he's feeling right now.

-Jestro and Clay treated each other with colorful bandages as kids since Jestro used to bruise easily and Clay would get bruises from training

-Jestro and Clay would occasionally text each other in seasons 1-2, more so when there's some celebration. Both wanted to know how the other is doing, but Jestro was far more reserved in giving out info

-Clay even called him on his birthday and snuck to the lava castle to leave a gift l without anyone knowing.

-Jestro did a similar thing, but he just threw a gift at them in the middle of battle because he didn't want to seem suspicious by gifting it genuinely. Clay still understood it and was very pleased

-They made friendship necklaces for each other back when they first met and wore them the whole time

-Clay was the first one to rip off the friendship necklace. Specifically, stone Clay when he first was woken up and still hadn't yet had the chance to remember his bond with Jestro

-Let's pretend Jestro wasn't hurt for the sake of our hearts since that hurt a l o t.

-Jestro had to be zapped after that emotional ride, so fresh with Mondtrox' magic, he too took it off, but kept both his and Clay's necklaces.

-Not long after, these two grow close together again as a duo

-Stone Clay and Corrupt Jestro was the thing that haunted everyone since they worked together and became terrifyingly good at causing mass destruction

-From the outside it didn't seem like they always got along since Stone Clay had some definite anger issues. Jestro always made sure not to talk to him too much during battles since that's when they're most riled up

-The time after battles between the two is spent well. They just hang out and talk, often plotting because they can and Jestro making fun of the knights, as well as giving Stone Clay more reasons to dislike them

-Both of their memories were iffy at that point, so wherever they remembered, they told each other

- Stone Clay was like Jestro's bodyguard who sometimes did a poor job at being one

-Not a day passed where Stone Clay didn't end up carrying Jestro in his arms

-Absolute power duo

-Honestly could've taken down the kingdom

-There's not much Clay could to to stop Monstrox from zapping Jestro

-The first time, he even made sure Jestro wouldn't move, not knowing what to expect and not realizing Jestro felt things completely differently since we'll, he wasn't stone

-The other times Clay just looked away since he still saw Monstrox as the superior out of everyone

-Jestro absolutely loved Clay's new violent nature and Clay absolutely loved how un-hinged Jestro was. The echo to Jestro's voice could even give his stone body shivers

-Jestro treated Stone Clay exactly how someone would treat their ex after he returned to the Knights

-After Season 4, Jestro looked like he'd need life support from how much of a negative impact Monstrox' magic left on him so Clay would occasionally secretly check up on how he's doing even if he's not supposed to interact with Jestro

-Jestro was absolutely not glad to see Clay because he knew that he woukd be the one to get in trouble for it, not the knight.

Now to something happier again!

-Clay always takes any chance given to him to carry Jestro in his arms

-Jestro takes any chance possible to praise Clay's work

-Clay allows Jestro to paint their nails

-Clay is just an absolute himbo, who only has enough braincells to be a knight and leader

-These two have terrible social skills

-Their first kiss was back in their academy days, on one of their last years

-They were both sort of curious is all. But it didn't change much to their friendship since the two didn't feel like they were quite enough for the other

-They still don't have any spoken relationship.

-It's just been mutual simping for each other since their academy days

-The two would be completely content with never being in a relationship their whole lives

-Which is why they need encouragement from others to actually get a move on with their relationship

-Everyone in the academy thought they were a thing. Every single person. But it wasn't spoken about much since it became the usual thing.

-At the start however, there were many rumors and a lot of gossiping. People were worried for Clay's reputation when he himself didn't even feel worried about it.

-Clay is comically stubborn when it comes to seperating him from Jestro.

-Jestro let's go a lot easier, even if he doesn't want to.

-The amount of times Clay had cornered Jestro with both his arms and thought it was a casual thing to do is ridiculous.

-Jestro learns a lot more when Clay helps him study than when he studies in class

-Surprisingly, both performed a lot better whenever they had a task to do together.

-Since Clay doesn't brag about himself, Jestro makes sure to tell as many great things as possible about Clay. Like he'd tell heroic, almost over the top stories about whatever Clay does to other students

-Clay has definitely used Jestro as a weight for an exercise before

-Jestro seems like a mom whenever something bad happens to Clay. He always takes care of them and scolds them on a caring matter

-The amount of shock the teachers were when Clay had gotten into a fight with other students was definitely something.

-But Jestro definitely understood why Clay acted out. Yes he's a model student, but Clay always has to force himself not to speak out, frustration can build up.

-Jestro only wishes it wasn't because some students went overboard on throwing hurtful words towards Jestro and then later Clay. This happened when they were still quite young

-Jestro would wait for Clay when he had to sit through multiple detentions because of that one event

-Jestro's language is words

-Clay's love language is acts of service

-These two till this day have to hug at least once a week

-Clay only dares to show all of his sides around Jestro and Jestro gladly helps them express their frustrations and such. Clay even feels comfortable enough to openly complain about people that have been getting on his nerves.

-Jestro doesn't understand why Clay treats him almost like a porcelain doll. The knight doesn't even dare to hold his hand too tightly and always waits a second to be sure if he can touch Jestro in any way, like a hug.

-Clay is just very worried of causing even the smallest bits of discomfort to Jestro

-Jestro meanwhile doesn't hesitate for a second and nearly tackle hugs Clay instead of going for the careful approach

-Both often times speak out their minds about each other unintentionally so it would go like

"Clay I could just hold your face and kiss you right now!... Wait-I just couldn't think of a better way to explain my joy for my bestest friend ahahaha, yeah-"

"Jestro I'm, so glad to see you're doing well, I couldn't have handled seeing someone I love hurt by that-...because you're my best friend... Yes!"

-Jestro from the very start was a shameless hoarder of Clay's clothes. Whatever he gave them, he gladly accepted

-Whenever Jestro made something for Clay, Clay would spent half an hour staring at it, afraid to ruin it some way by using the thing gifted to him. Same goes with whatever pastries he gets, he feels almost guilty for eating them

-Clay has a few Plush toys that Jestro got him and Jestro's collection mostly consists of the ones Clay got him

-Jestro hasn't moved out of Knightonia only because Clay gives bear hugs and he absolutely loves them

-If given the chance, Jestro would sacrifice much more than Clay could for him even if it doesn't seem like it

-These two would always play hide and seek in Merlok's library and around the castle even as teens at times

-Both of them encourage each other to be childish when they want to be

-Clay has pulled a Romeo so many times and came to the castle late in the evening just to talk to Jestro through their balcony

-Jestro can actually play violin. He's not perfect, but he definitely knows how to play it. He convinced himself he's bad at it since his bad luck always causes the strings to snap

-Jestro has played violin for Clay whenever they're sick to keep them amused

-Jestro once thought about running away in the academy and Clay was so ready to run with them so Jestro immediately threw that idea aside

-These two are like baby ducklings, they follow each other closely almost all the time

-Clay used to always be the one to say "He asked for no pickles" but after Season 4 and Jestro's absolute disappointment in the kingdom and it's people, he became the one to say "he asked for no pickles"

-Clay is glad that after season 4, Jestro started paying almost no mind to how people of Knightonia view him, but it makes him a bit worried even. Especially when Jestro just uses the people's own feelings towards him for his own advantage:

.

Shop keeper: YOU! Came here to steal all my baked goods, burn the place to the ground???

Jestro:... yes.

Shop keeper: what-

Jestro: I just said yes. Now can I get some of those caramel croissants.

Shop keeper now worried for their life: o-oh! Here! They're on the house!!!!

Jestro coming out of the bakery: Here Clay, I got us some of those fresh baked ones!

Clay:...was it on the house again?

Jestro:...mmm...yes?

Clay lightly sighing and going in to pay for it.

.

-Jestro feels sour enough towards Merlok that after season 4, he feels the need to protect Clay from whatever they might say and makes sure there isn't anything they decided to keep secret from them

Last, but not least:

-no matter what happens in their lives, these two will always find a way to keep close to each other, even if it takes time. Couple or not, they're soulmates that will never move on from each other. Inseparable by fate itself.

[animeloversworldsblog]

Guren Ichinose victim of emotional and physical abuse

Guren is someone who is always guilty for every act he commits, he is seen as a genocidal and a bad person who has played with people's lives as he pleases, but what I have noticed is that many ignore that Guren is a victim of emotional and physical abuse, that he has made mistakes, and he himself knows what was his biggest mistake in life, he is naive, he is abusive, but only with himself, he is a boy that anyone can hurt him and even so he keep trying and striving for the people he love. He always cares about others, he always tries to strive to be a better person and does nothing but try again and again to learn, teach, fight only to protect others.

Many ignore the fact that his misfortunes began from the moment he interacted with a completely toxic and abusive girl, where many say that it was one of the best things that happened to guren, which is actually seen, a little boy who begins to show and feel like a person without value, without self-esteem. Guren since he starts interacting with Mahiru since he was 5 years old shows signs of emotional abuse, such as manipulation, control and being forced and pressured into something that he is not, he was just a naive and innocent child, she is his trauma, that trauma that prevented him from growing as a person and seeing that there are many more things than just feeling like garbage all the time. But mahiru was not an innocent girl, already at that age she was aware of many things, the worst of all, that of hurting an innocent family that had nothing to do with her simply because she wanted revenge on her family. 

Many speak of guren being in love of mahiru from 5 years to adolescence, and even still 24 years old.

Guren was never in love, the emotional abuse that guren has suffered since he was a child by mahiru is not love, since she forced his mind and turned it into a fantasy bond. Guren being a child falls in love with the idea of ​​childhood love not with mahiru, guren think that interect with her is the most normal thing, so he created an illusionary connection with her, created a sense of safety and security so guren begins to feel responsible for her from the moment they take mahiru by force and he feels that he could not protect her. Now when guren grows he still feels affection towards her, an attached because guren wants to protect them all equally. But the illusion connection guren created as child making see that the reality wasn't how he think it was as child, he even realized that was a childhood thing and he was naive. Guren sees her as his childhood friend, but he does not show to be in love, also the first thing that saito tells guren is that he is in love and is strong for her, to which guren immediately rejects that and even when she appears guren rejects her more than once without doubt. 

Why do I say that guren was never in love, and his relationship with mahiru was nothing more than abuse, control and destruction? Because drive guren more and more to madness to the point that he lost all sense of self so much that he could no longer see himself realistically anymore.

Guren shouldn't be romanticized in catastrophe at 16 with Mahiru saying that he was in love when in reality he was being forced to love and protect a completely destructive and toxic person to the point of wanting to destroy everything that Guren truly valued and truly loved. 

His interaction with mahiru is nothing more than destructive, not love, he was too pressure for her that in more than one occasion he did not want to get involved with her, and even refuses to be like her and follow her orders, because he knew that she was problematic. In more than once, he wants to keep her away from him, he did not want to know anything about her, and he even began to realize that getting involved with her would make him regret later, guren was mentally healthy with his friends, his family but every time guren got involved with her, or even every time she was mentioned guren shows many signs of being a victim of abuse by mahiru, not of being in love when is far away from be it, guren feel depressed and useless just by being close to her, even as a child Guren begins to interact, not with a girl as she should be at her age, but with an illusion, Guren creates a fantasy bond with her and there she begins to kill his innocence because guren begins to blame himself for not protecting her and carries great guilt and low self-esteem ever since, he begins to have a fantasy bond that offers an illusion of love which prevents real emotional contact and how he is a kid he have no idea of what is being in love he even idolized her so much, so when he grow up what he feels for her is caring bcs to him she was still the innocent girl he met and the victim of her family. Their interaction did nothing but destroy Guren and lead him to this day to be completely damaged and to do what he is doing simply for the fact of getting involved with her. Guren has no options, he can't just get rid of her. He can't achieve things of his own, would be great to him do that bcs he tried it, instead to follow her orders and executes her plan. But he has no option bcs he is not even owner of his body. 

Guren demonstrates from the first moment he meets her, like an innocent child, is that the initial encounter and perception of him strongly influenced his developing relationship with Mahiru. If guren had understood from the beginning that she was not who she seemed to be, and that she was simply hiding behind a facade of what she appeared to be, then guren would have been more cautious about getting involved with her. But guren showed his personality, sensitivities, emotional sensitivity and, above all, conscience, something that a person as manipulative, controlling and forcing, since she was a child, like mahiru, saw and took advantage of, knowing that with those possibilities she could hook guren to get involved with her because he was a kind, sentimental and affectionate child and, of course, because he wanted to help her. Mahiru was initially interested in his kindness, and often praised him for the wonderful child that he was. But that praise for those qualities was minimized because she was using him in the service of someone who didn't really care about him. She really only cared about what he could do for her.

All this gets even worse when he sees her again at school which, you can see a guren who feels incompetent, does not smile, or feel happy every time he sees her and talks to her even before mahiru started to murder and drag guren to madness, guren never shows signs of feeling good or happy when she is around him or talks to her, always doubts and feels like trash, vulnerable .Guren does nothing but want to help her, he feels responsible and attached to her, throughout the novel Guren does nothing but please her, because he believes that that would make her feel better,  he feel pity for her, so he think that do whatever she wants is gonna make her feel better she wanna to be hug, kiss and sleep with him bcs she ask all that, so guren does that, he even ask himself if do what he does with her is the right choice but is nothing romantic in all that with her, is just to pleased her, out of pity and bcs to him she was just a poor girl with many problems, so he wants to comfort her bcs maybe that help her. The only thing guren know for sure is that he wanted to help her and save her bcs he felt responsible for her, bcs he was weak as child and couldn't protect her so he tried to repair his weakness with her. But his feeling for her are not for love. Even on resurrection guren was able to realize that it wasn't his fault all what mahiru did, (playing the victim role), but he was a victim of her and that he felt fear and knows he was being manipulate from her when he was a child. Guren is in pain bcs his friends were death not for mahiru, he was literally crazy in the end and he couldn't see the reality anymore, after she died guren back to not be manipulate and he not even care if she was death he just care for his friends and what he did to the world even that wasn't his fault but mahiru, because he was forced for her to do it.

What guren always loved the most was his dad, his family in aichi and his friends and he let that clear more than once. He let clear that bcs he slept with her that doesn't mean they are something else and have to take responsibility for that. Guren in all the novel show the opposite to be in love and wanted to be with her bcs he let that clear, even he rejected the offer from kureto to be with her. He loved mahiru as a childhood friend and want to saved her from darkness that is how guren see her after he woke up and was able to see that she wasn't what he thought she was. That she was nothing but a monster. So he had to learn all that by forced.

Every time guren talk to her, he feel exhausted, emotionally drained, and negative

She creates on him psychological weakness by undermining his's confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth

When guren involve with her, he is lead by fear, as a victim of emotional abuse often is, it cuts him off from the full experience of who he is. In other words, it diminishes his self-esteem and makes him doubt of himself, and then he give over his power.

She always twist his thoughts, actions, wants and desires into something that better suits how she sees the world and she mold him into someone that serves her own purposes.

She also tries and makes him believe that she's doing a better job of “loving him��� so that he'll be more willing to set aside what he wants in order to feel like him “love her just as much.” It's a sick mind game.

When a person as guren, is being manipulated there is no room for love because it has been replaced with chaos. Wherever there is consistent confusion there can be no resolution, and therefore no love. This is the love guren feel toward her

She wasn't interested in loving him, she was interested in he loving her and conforming to her needs; then convincing him that this is love. She forced him and pushed guren to lover her. 

Guren isn't confident enough to leave her, bcs to him she is a victim and an innocent one, so she thrive on keeping him down, bcs she constantly tries to isolate him by telling him that his friends and family are bad influences that doesn't let him to be strong so she threatened him to killed them so he can't leave and find something better. 

The Unhealthy love here is a crap-shoot. The pace is fast, quickly dominating guren by moving him into the role of the subservient. 

In reality, his emotional health, happiness, and self-worth was all going swiftly down the pan as a result of being with her in all the novel as child, teenager and even having 24.

Guren feel so guilty every time he is with her, that he start to feel constantly like he did something wrong. But that is the formula. The formula of emotional abuse is that he feel like he did something wrong. He feel like he is the problem. He feel like he's at fault, like he could do better.

Every time guren interact with her she always degrade his body. Tell him weak, too slow. He doesn't run fast enough to came and save her. That he is not strong enough. She make fun of his ability and power, call him names just to make fun of him. Making fun of his achievements, hopes and dreams

He feel depressed, anxious, unlovable, full of dread, feeling on edge all the time, or feeling like he is "crazy" and doubting what he knows. 

He increased mental stress just to be around her

How she knows his weak spots, she use them to wound him. She makes comments and take actions that are meant to leave him feeling vulnerable and upset.

He feels constantly anxiety.

His self-confidence is compromised, which lead him to feelings of helplessness, shame, despair, as well as resentment, guilt, and disgust and even decline in self-care. 

What's most damaging is that it takes away his ability to trust in himself and when that happens, he start to feeling crazy.

Guren question his own sanity and reality in the end of vol 7 to the point to not act like himself anymore he believed and internalize the lies she feed him. And, in turn, that affected how he view himself and his worth. He developed a huge mental disorder.

Guren cannot even heal his wounds or grow up as an individual by himself, when he has been abused by her for 19 years, which has done nothing but damage his mind, his body, his life and that of his family and a lot of people in general. 

What i see in guren:

°A teenager and a man who care so much but he doesn't know how to express it with words with the people he loved the most.

°I always see him get hurt and tries to hide it, even so he can't shared so much how he is in pain for being abuse.

°I see people around him that doesn't understand him at all, only shinya is the most understanding with him. 

°He always is fighting againts his traumas, his failures, his worse nightmares, his worse mistake, his past and present and how he never give up even if that hurts he always tries his best to stand up. 

°I see him trying to achives things of his own terms but being pressure to go against his ideals and beliefs just to try to protect his family and save the world, he always tries to do the best he can, but is not enough, even so he tries. 

° He was feeling guilty and remorse for so many years and seeking redemption, even so he think he doesn't deserve it, he think all is his fault, he is able to let others kill him for his acts and feel guilt, pain, remorse and he cries for that.

° He always tries to make amends, he knows and accepts he was wrong or made a huge mistake and how he regretted it but also how much he works hard to protect people he loved and people that need help. 

° He still stick to his own ideas, he still has ideals, beliefs, and he would like to try others ways, even so he can't because his body and mind are being forced and abused to make other people agenda.

° He always is trying and trying for loved, family, friendship, companion and people who could need his help. 

It is horrible to think that a single person can take your desires, your wishes, your beliefs, your ideals, your life and break it into a thousand pieces simply because there is no one more important than yourself, something that to guren and many others happened simply to get involved with a completely destructive and abusive person. 

Unspeakable things happen to everyone, that does not mean that you can do whatever you want with others. Protection and love does not mean you should sticking around and screw with their life.

Guren is someone that is suffering all this and still is the same guren. He is strong and intelligent on his own right, the only thing in life that made guren being weak was meeting her and was his worse mistake and he repeat it more than once. And what always make guren strong was love and protect his family. Is what always make guren keep his sanity until now. Abuse don't do anything good to him. 

Healthy love is what guren has with his family, always was fun, easy, joyful, open, relaxed, active and quiet. Each one of them, knows it is up to them what type of emotion, attitude and effort they bring into the dynamic with guren. In those healthy dynamics, consciously, guren, choose to focus on the positive qualities of the people he really love. When guren consciously focus on what he love about the others it makes loving them easier, and it makes it easier for all of them to love him. That is healthy to him, it always was.

@dulciasouls1 @ijustwannasomesleep @lottenoir to you girls that always help me. Hope you like it!

[starbuckie]

𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 ���𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬

challenge: winter warmers writing challenge by @spaceodditybarnes

prompt: “it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas” by michael buble

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

words: 2k without lyrics, 2.1k with lyrics

warnings: i genuinely don’t think i can say anything besides FLUFF, oh wait theres some mentions of the shmexy sex (i promise im a functioning person)

summary: in which they take a little holiday stroll and talk about what they are.

a/n: THIS MADE ME VERY HAPPY THANK YOU FOR HOSTING THIS CHALLENGE JADE!!! i kinda veered off the idea of christmas with this one, but my mind created another idea and i kinda just went with the flow. anyways, i really enjoyed writing this one, and i hope you all had a lovely holiday season <3 LOTS OF LOVE Y’ALL

main masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Everywhere you go

Take a look at the five and ten, it’s glistening once again

With candy cane and silver lanes that glow

Snow sprinkled to the buildings and sidewalks of Midtown Manhattan, making the traffic clog up to the oh so lovely sounds of taxis and cars honking. It was far from what people pictured it, really, New York was absolute hell during the holiday season. Sloshing boots and teens smoking pot outside the scantily decorated discount store that held very little, sad-looking Christmas lights.

It didn’t bother Bucky. No, he had never been a big fan of the holiday season. Even back in the forties, with his ma and little sisters, they had never been huge on celebrating Christmas, instead choosing to work those shifts during the holiday so they could make a buck or two more to hold them over. Now in the twenty-first century, the holiday just reminded him how truly lonely he was, everyone and everything he used to know long gone.

But then he found Y/N. Granted, it had not been a formal introduction. The poor girl had nearly damn run him over with her motorcycle for Christ’s sake, but nonetheless she crawled into his heart that cold December morning two years ago, and had not left ever since. 

Now she walked by his side at Rockefeller Center, her cold fingers intertwined with his warm ones, admiring the tree while he admired her. He already had every part of her memorized, from late night escapades in the sheets to studying the slope of her nose at team breakfasts. Even when he wasn’t with her, he was always looking at her, unable to pull his eyes away from Y/N’s radiance. 

This little… dalliance of theirs had only started a year back, and they had still yet to put a label on it. Sam had called it friends with benefits, Sharon called it being a couple without the name. Bucky had shut both of those ideas down, claiming that they were taking it slow and weren’t looking to call it anything yet they still had not really talked about it. Was it really worth ruining the bond he had with the girl he fell madly in love with? Whatever it was, they had never taken time out of their day to actually discuss what they meant to each other, but, God, he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t want to know.

“Bucky?” Her sweet voice brought him out of his thoughts, the glittering red and white lights of the Christmas tree reflecting in her eyes. “You seem kind of distracted right now, sweetheart, are you bored? We can head back to the compound if you like.”

He smiled at her worried tone, delicately kissing the tip of her nose. “‘M just thinking, doll, wanna stay as long as I can out here with you.”

The grin he received in return was breathtaking, her red-painted lips turned upwards and a little twinkle (literally and metaphorically) in her eyes. “Good.”

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Toys in every store

But the prettiest sight to see, is the holly that will be

On your own front door

“Oh, look at that helicopter, Buck! That’s so cool!” Y/N pointed at a little boy in the store controlling the airborne toy with a small remote. “They didn't have those when I was a kid, I just had my Tamagotchi.”

He scrunched his nose, staring at her with an emotion that could be described as nothing other than distaste. “What the hell is a Tamagotchi?”

“A Tamagotchi was like this little digital pet thing that you could take care of, mainly used for kids who were trying to prove to their parents that they could take care of a real pet. That’s why I had one at least, but I never did get a tabby cat like I wanted.” Y/N continued to ramble about her weird pet thing as they walked through the toy store, though Bucky didn’t really care. But he’d never stop her either. The way her eyes lit up in childlike wonder and her fascination with the toys on the shelves was too precious to destroy. This was the girl who he had seen slit throats and blow aliens’ brains out, and in the moment she was ogling an American Girl Doll like it was the last pancake at the breakfast table. 

Y/N finally convinced herself that she was done looking at the toys, claiming that she was too mature for such things (she really wasn’t), but he let her lead him out the door, before she halted right in the doorway. “What is it, honey?”

“Mistletoe.” He glanced up at the little sprig of green and red berries above their heads, hanging by a small strand of twine. A small group of kids with families stood around, watching them with both happy and annoyed faces. How could they not notice Y/N L/N and Bucky Barnes? Bucky’s vibranium arm may have been recognizable, but Y/N’s cheery, a little-louder-than-normal humming had caused a little group to watch them throughout the store. “I think they’re waiting for us to kiss, Buck.”

She leaned into him, placing her lips on his and placing her freezing hands on his cheekbones. Though Bucky had never been big on PDA, the rest of the world seemed to slip away when he was with her. He grinned into her lips, hugging her tightly around the waist so she squealed. When he forced herself away from her intoxicating mouth, she was sporting a bright smile and smudged lipstick that had rubbed off onto his. 

Giggling, she took her thumb and swiped off some of the red residue she had left. “You had a little something there, sweetheart.” 

A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots

Is the wish of Barney and Ben

Dolls that’ll talk and will go for a walk

Is the hope of Janice and Jen

Bucky watched Y/N point out all the different street cart vendors as they walked to Radio City Music Hall. She’d insisted that they go look at the window displays there as well, and who was he to argue? Strangely enough, they hadn’t talked much, other than the occasional “are you cold” from Bucky, to which Y/N assured him she was not. Her quiet voice sang the lyrics to Last Christmas when a little girl stopped in front of them, two auburn braids and green eyes boring straight into hers. 

The small child pulled on Y/N’s skirt, a silent plea to go down to her height. “Hi there, are you lost, sweetie?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” she looked back to an older woman, who gave her a thumbs up and a smile, “because you are my favorite superhero and I hope you have a very good Christmas.”

Y/N nearly melted at the toothless smile the girl, who she assumed was named Sadie by the necklace she wore. “Thank you so much, sweetheart. I hope you have a good Christmas too, and do you know this guy?” She dragged Bucky down next to her, the large, buff man hulking over the small girl. “This is my friend Bucky, do you know him?”

He eyed her warily, as if he were absolutely terrified of the tiny human. “You’re the Winter Soldier!”

Uh oh. The name was one that struck a chord of fear through everyone, still in shock of the events that had taken place in D.C. in 2014. While he and Sam had tried to label a new brand for the Avengers, people didn’t forget all the horrors of HYDRA and their prized assassin. Of course it hadn’t been him, even he knew that, but trying to convince people otherwise still made him feel guilty.

“You’re my second favorite Avenger, after Y/N, of course.” Sadie brought her hand to hover over Bucky’s vibranium one, her eyes wide with excitement. “Mr. Bucky, can I touch your metal arm?”

The man in question could barely utter out a word, muttering some sort of agreement before nodding with a timid smile. Giddily, she touched his arm, feeling all the cool ridges of gold-plated vibranium against the gun-grey metal. Sadie continued to pelt questions at him, about Sam and Redwing to his “adventures” with Y/N on the team.

Bucky, though shy at first, got more and more relaxed as they continued their conversation, his grin growing wider. Y/N loved her fans, she loved them so, so dearly, but seeing them interact with the man she loved was something different. Not a bad different, but a word that could only be described as pure joy. 

“Darling, I think we better leave Ms. L/N and Mr. Barnes alone. Say thank you and happy holidays.” The little girl looked sad, turning to look at her mom with a little pout, but she reluctantly obliged and soon the duo were off, into the crowded streets once again. 

“Y’know once upon a time I had dreamed about having kids,” Bucky commented. They walked along the sidewalks in a comfortable quiet after the encounter with Sadie, but Bucky’s mind had not stopped reeling from the happiness his conversation brought him. “Was gonna come home from the war, settle down with a gal, and live to be at least seventy years old.”

“Well, I can tell you you’re good on the last bit of that, Buck.” He snorted at her jab at his age, something that has become a norm for their little makeshift family of four. “What do you want now?”

He stopped in his tracks and looked over at her with a fond tilt of his lips. “Oh, just something real special.”

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Toys in every store

But the prettiest sight to see, is the holly that will be

On your own front door

“Y/N, what are we?” She glanced over at him from where they sat on the Met stairs, giving their feet a break from walking for hours. 

“What do you mean, Buck?”

He grabbed her hands and held them to his chest, trying to make her understand the amount of confusion and impatience he had with this one burdening question. “We’ve been sleeping together for a year, Y/N. We make each other breakfast, we go out together, I literally have half of my closet dedicated to your stuff, but even after all that we haven’t given us a name yet.”

Y/N sat in stunned silence, staring at the outburst from the man in front of her. To be completely honest she had never really thought about the question, choosing to enjoy each second she got to spend with the wonderful man with her. What she had noticed however, was how whenever they parted ways or were in the most intimate of moments, three little words nearly slipped off of her tongue. Every. Single. Time.

“Well, what do you want to be, Bucky?”

“I want to be the man you love. I want to be the man who loves you with his entire heart, though I like to think I already am. I want you to be my best gal more than anything in the world, and that I want to be the man who gets to hold and love you every night.” Slowly they drifted to each other, a magnetic pull bringing them to each other. “What do you think, doll?”

“I think,” her lips split into a grin, hovering over his own with the exact same expression, “that I want to be your best girl and the one who gets to make you pancakes in the morning and I want to be the one you get a cat with, who we’ll name Alpine because if I know you, names are the most important part of having a pet. I want to be held and loved by you every night, Bucky Barnes, and I am the girl who loves you more than anything in this entire damn world.”

Not another second to spare, Bucky pulled Y/N in close, letting himself get lost in one of her sweet, loving kisses, finally knowing that he was hers and she was his. At long last.

Sure, it’s Christmas once more

[dirt-cup-draco]

Fred x Reader- Ease My Mind

can you do fred weasley & the love language of touch, if that is something that you do?

a/n: he is darling and coming right up <3 ALSO, Important note! I switched phones and forgot to save some of my notes so if you were on my taglist for my fics please send me an ask or dm! I will try to put down those I remember but I may forget a few 

Your shoulders tensed immediately as you walked through the doors of the joke shop. The melodic ringing of the bell attached to the brightly colored wooden frame was drowned out by the sound of kids laughing and parents scolding. Fireworks erupted somewhere above as your eye caught a glimmer of ash and magic descending onto the glossy wooden floors. 

It wasn’t that you were uncomfortable in the shop. You had long since become used to the jarring noise upon entering and it had stopped bothering you, your social anxieties overcome. Yet you were nearly certain it was because every shelf and sound and smell reminded you of the man you loved most. His heart and his soul emanated from every nook and cranny.

What made the hair on the back of your neck raise and your palms begin to sweat was the look of distress on George’s face as you entered, his attention immediately going to you. His lips were in a thin line, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes more pronounced by the bags that lay just underneath his eyelashes and colored the very tips of his cheeks a dull gray. Your heart was stuck in your chest as he plastered on a grin that was so forced it made your own jaw ache as he dodged past another pleased customer. 

“Where is he?” You asked, stomach tied in knots and George shook his head, a guilty look on his face. 

“We were stocking this morning and I was goofing off-”

 You nearly let out a snort but stopped yourself as you noticed the strained expression on your dearly beloved’s brother’s face. 

“-accidentally spooked him and he stumbled down two or three steps on the ladder and the box he was holding came crashing down around him. He’s just barely started going ‘round without his cane and he’s’ frustrated with himself I think and with how the merchandise came down around him...” 

George trailed off and you gave him a sympathetic smile, reaching out to squeeze his hand as a group of girls ran around your legs in search for the coveted love potions, one hollering about she would never be as silly as her friends and was only looking out for them. She reminded you of yourself when you had first met the twins. 

“Georgie, it’s not your fault,” You promised as he struggled to meet your eyes. You knew from George’s words that it was likely Fred had been forced back into the past and was seeking comfort in the safety of his bedroom in an attempt to ground himself and stay in the present. “I’ll go see him,” 

George’s slouched shoulders seemed a bit less heavy with your promise and he gave you a short nod, going to help the lonesome cashier who was overwhelmed with a line wrapping around the place. You gave your near brother in-law a thumbs up and then made your way to the far reaches of the store so you could begin your ascent into the twins’ apartment. 

You knew there would be bad days and good days but for Fred’s sake you had hoped that the good would outweigh the bad. At first they had, there was the thrill of finally having no more fear of Voldemort even if his dark forces were still tucked into dark corners. Things had been looking up and everyone was just happy to be alive, yet as the days and weeks flew by it seemed that the horrors of war would be sticking around long after the Dark Lord’s defeat. 

The apartment was colder than usual and Fred wasn’t to be found in the kitchen or the sitting area. There was no music playing to fill the silence nor was there a cup of tea in sight. If it wasn’t for the cleanliness of the place you would’ve wondered if it was inhabited. 

You forced your foot falls to resonate against the flooring louder than usual to give your longtime boyfriend some warning as to your presence yet you kept your knock gentle as you tapped a melody against his door, hand frozen on the doorknob. 

“Fred, love, it’s me,” You called out. “May I come in?” 

The shuffling of socked feet paused momentarily and then the doorknob was twisting against your palm and the door was pulled away from you. Fred poked his head out from behind the door and you gave him a bright smile. Even under such circumstances you couldn’t help but be delighted at the sight of him- especially when you saw the stony expression on his face fall away as he locked eyes with you. 

“Darling,” He greeted, voice croaky from misuse all afternoon. He looked more tired than George and you realized that the younger twin must have been up caring for Fred all night. You regretted going out with Hermione. 

You shouldered your way into the bedroom and took Fred’s hands into yours after he closed the door securely behind you and locked it for peace of mind. You knew he didn’t fear someone coming for him as much as he feared the uncontrollability of an unlocked door. He wasn’t willing to let much into his space and you felt a swell of honor in your chest as you thought about the ease at which he let you in. 

“Sit with me?” You asked, squeezing his hands as his eyes searched yours- his frown not yet gone but the grim glaze over his eyes had dropped away and he was trying to relax for you. Fred’s glance broke away and he stared at a spot on the floor, just behind you. 

“I don’t want to be still,” He mentioned softly, like the admission made him weak somehow. 

“How long have you been pacing?” You had to ask, hands falling away from his to settle on his hips and he shrugged. 

“Since before we opened shop,” 

“Have you eaten?” 

“We can later,” 

Your heart twisted painfully in your chest as Fred couldn’t meet your eyes. You could tell guilt was chewing away at him and you couldn’t stand to see him struggling so much. If you could take his pain from him you would without a second beat. 

“Would you let me go grab you something? Or maybe we could take a walk to that pub you like,” You offered, trying to give him the freedom to choose and think on what he would be most comfortable with yet you hoped he would get something to eat as it might help him relax. Whenever he’d been upset at Hogwarts, locked away in his room, you’d snuck him hand pies and juice and he’d always brightened up considerably. 

You pulled away from him then, making a move to get him some tea, biscuits, anything. You were stalled however by his arms wrapping around your waist fiercely and pulling you to his chest with a grip that almost felt like fear. Your hands laid flat against his back and you rubbed with soothing circles as you stayed in the same spot you had been since entering his room. 

“Y/N,” He grumbled, pressing his nose against the side of your neck as he took a deep breath. You could feel the sudden pitch in his heartbeat against your own chest as he reminded himself you hadn’t left yet and you were still within his grasp. 

“What do you need Freddie?” You coaxed, reaching to tangle your fingers in his hair that had been growing out for some time now. He didn’t trust you or George with cutting it but he hadn’t been too comfortable heading to a salon when all he could see outside the shops were rubble and the clear signs that life still wasn’t back to normal.

“I-” He started but then dropped off for another heavy moment. His voice had cracked and you could feel your top growing damp as he buried his face deeper into the junction between your shoulder and neck. 

“Anything,” You promised, pulling him impossibly closer to help shield him from the challenging feelings he had swirling around in his mind. 

“M-maybe sitting would be nice, or laying down. Being close helps, just having you near is all I need,” He finally settled on and you took half a step back just to look into his watery eyes. Even when they were shining with tears his eyes were the most beautiful you’d ever seen. It wasn’t so much the color as it was the life that swam behind them. Even in his darkest times Fred Weasley was filled with beauty and life. 

“Of course,” 

You let Fred take the lead, his hand still clasped tightly with yours as he tugged you over to his bed. You noticed he was favoring his right leg, his cane discarded probably somewhere near the entrance to the apartment. Helping pull the sheets away from the bed you helped Fred settle onto his side. Once you joined him he let out a deep breath that he had been holding in. His arm found it’s place around your waist and he pulled you to his chest as he curled up tighter, smaller. He’d had struggles with claustrophobia yet he was entirely at ease with his head resting over your heart and his legs tangled with yours- barely a paper’s width between you. 

You trailed your fingers down his side affectionately, hand rubbing gentle circles against his hip and thigh knowing he was hurting from the way he sighed softly, hot breath fanning against your collarbones. Poor Freddie had been pacing too long and pushing through the pain from his injury.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here this morning,” You apologized softly. Maybe if you’d fallen asleep with him his nightmares wouldn’t have been so vicious and his short fall from the ladder that morning wouldn’t have caused such a severe reaction.

“Don’t be, you’re here now,” Fred put your guilt to rest and snuck his hands under your shirt to rest against the warm expanse of your back. He’d always liked the contact and you were glad that you could help ground him in any small way. Your fingers brushed through his hair and you let your nails lightly scrape against the nape of his neck, a shiver going down his spine as he curled up tighter against you. 

You weren’t sure how long you two laid there in silence, hands shifting every so often to pull one another closer or to place an affectionate kiss against a forehead or nose. Your eyes had drifted shut and you weren’t sure if the both of you had drifted off for a moment or if the time was just passing comfortably. Fred’s breathing and heartrate had evened out and you were able to let out a sigh of relief. His hurts were your own and you felt such a deep peace when he was able to come back from the darkness. 

“This feels safe,” He admitted into the shared space between you, voice gentle like never before. “Thank you for easing my mind, Y/N” 

“Thank you for letting me in,” 

Fred smiled against your neck, brushing a kiss against your pulse point. You ruffled his hair and let your eyes fall shut again. Despite Fred’s need to move earlier and the loud memories playing back behind his eyelids he let himself fall into the warm embrace of sleep, nestled against the love of his life. 

[hetalia-has-a-secretary]

What if in the midnight the child slams into their parent's bedroom and screams: "There is a monster under my bed!" And refuses to go back, completely scared. What would single dad!axis/allies do?

This is gonna be a long ask, so it's gonna take me some time to post it lol but it is fine uwu.

Dad!Allies and Dad!Axis comforting their child when there is a monster under their bed!

Allies:

America has zero problem with helping them 'fight the monster'. He's usually pretty good about this stuff, and figures to let the kid slowly grow out of it. But the night his kid doesn't want to go back to their room, that's when he gets worried. Yet seeing his child so frightened completely obliterates his 'hero' persona, and out comes full loving dad mode. Him and his child wind up building a fort in the living room because "they can't get us here in our fort" castle. And once the kid is asleep he lifts them up and places them back in their room, sneaking a white flag under their bed, as if the monsters finally surrendered and left.

England is an extremely tender father, even when he doesn't fully understand why his child won't go back to their room. It's not a real monster- oh dear god there's an actual monster. Seems like someone had aquired their dads ability to see creatures. England pretty much scolds the monster under the bed for scaring his child, and makes them apologize. And if the kid is still to scared of it, they're allowed to stay in bed with England for the night. Hopefully his kid understands one day, that not all monsters have ill intentions.

France is a pretty understanding and major loving father. So it's no surprise that he just let's his kid hop into bed with him. Give or take shooing the kid into the hall so daddy can find some clothes first. Though he won't say that's why because that would be weird. Either way the kid is now tucked into the big fluffy bed, and his father is sitting in a chair, head resting near the kids, and is telling them stories of old. To which the kid falls asleep again, and France contemplates calling England on how to keep away monsters.

China is a hard love kind of dad when it comes to small things, but as soon as he sees the fear in his child's eyes any and all self pride will be swallowed in order to provide a safe place for his kid. And out comes the wok. Even after he checks under the bed his kid still seems to be anxious. China has a 'you know what, they won't be this small forever' moment and let's them sleep with him. This might also be the reason the kid finally starts sleeping on a floor mat...

Russia becomes immediately guilty over his kid being scared, thinking it has something to do with him. He won't ask out right, but does ask the kid what it looks like. Russia has to hold back his laughter when he checks the kids bed, only to find the cat hiding under it. Even after solving the mystery the kid seems suspicious of their own room still. With a deep patient sigh he picks his kid up and lays down with them, promising to protect them throughout the night. To Russia's own pride, his kid falls asleep, a big smile on their face.

Canada has a very forgiving attitude towards being woken up with the door being slammed. Especially when it's his own kid crying over a monster under their bed. 'Classic' he'll think with a small giggle. But even after explaining that there's no such thing, his kid refused. Matthew takes a few minutes to think and offers to have a sleepover in the kids room. To which they shyly accept. Canada insists on sleeping on the floor, but his kid insists he doesn't. So Canada winds up sharing the bed with his kid anyway. The next morning he makes sure to consult with someone before this kind of fear gets out of hand. He just wants his kid to feel safe again.

Axis:

Germany is use to Italy storming in so he feels immediate guilt when he realized he just partially yelled at his own kid. Very quickly did he apologize, and soon had his kid explaining their concern over the monster in their room. Germany knows this is a touchy subject for small children so he tress carefully. And like the big softy he is, he plays along and "asks the monster to move somewhere else." Now it's in the closet? Quickly realizing how this is gonna play out, Germany offers a spot in his bed for the kid. Later during the day "hiring someone to take the Monster away".

Japan had the same issue when he was younger, and had to refrain from the reminiscing smile plaguing his lips. Leading his child back to their room he decides to play a game with them. "If there is a monster do not knock" "If you are a mean Monster do not knock". Those were the kind of questions he asked the open air as his kid seemed to relax more and more. But even then, Japan gives the kid an open invitation to sleep in his room with him. To which they wind up doing anyway, regardless of of they're still scared. Japan doesn't mind. He's just gland his kid trusts him for protection.

Italy had a bit of a moment and almost started crying with the kid until his brain woke up and he realized... Monsters aren't real. Though to his kid, that did not matter. Did someone say 'tiny sleeping buddy'? Well they might of well have because now Italy has a semi scared child in his bed. Poor italy does everything he can think of to calm his kids nerves. Hot chocolate, story books, you name it. Until finally they both fell asleep to counting sheep.

[hebescus]

remember this ship ask? yeah, i wanna do them all with lawlight bcs they control my brain. but it's a happy no death note au bcs it's me. oh and this shit is long plus it's 3 am rn so my words are very messy. but enjoy.

(i skip some numbers that i answered and the ones that i can't think of btw)

pre relationship :

How did they first meet?

L's investigation hq. he was a suspect of L, still, but this time he told soichiro to bring this 18 yo boy to the hq to test him, asking light to work with all of them. he ends up not guilty ofc, but L still wants to keep him…around.

What was their first impression of each other?

ah, the good old 'what the fuck dude???' from light and the 'oooh he got a big brain' from L. it's hard to get out of canon in this one.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

L. But it's more like thoughts, rather than feelings. It's just these random thoughts that pop out in his head like 'i don't mind kissing this guy, if he asks' but not like 'i want to kiss him' yknow what i mean? idk this is just something i experience a lot lmao. it develops to feelings once light falls for him and L can see that. So in terms of ideas, it's L, but in terms of feelings, it's Light.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Oh our favorite light denial yagami. Of course he's cursing himself for having feelings like this but once L calls it out he's over. 

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Light would laugh it off, and be like "i don't like him that way you know". L would shrugs be like "well yes that's possible, i don't think i mind". 

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

boring, lonely, empty, you name it

(more under the cut)

general :

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

hmm, they both initiated the relationship? ykwim? They both notices they had feelings for each other and just...go from there. they never have like a relationship talk, they just go with the flow until at some point they starts to get comfortable to refer the other as partners. They basically can read each other's mind, after all.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

Yes, sort of. A tennis game! And a coffee sesh after, just like canon. They plan this to be just "let's just relax, this case has been really exhausting, take a one day break, L" but when Light got home, sayu asked "how's the date going?!" He immediately said "it's not a date, you watch too many dramas it's rotting your brain" And sachiko gave him a smile while shaking her head at this statement and when he's back to his room he immediately calls L and was like "hey does that count as a date?" and L answers with "depends, do you want it to be?" with a smirk that light can hear.

What was their first kiss like?

it was late at night, light was helping L with the case when everybody went home. they were sharing their view about this certain criminal when light notices L staring at his lips, first he ignored it but it happens again and again to a point where their face just got real close and then...kiss, somehow. idk lmao.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

First person who can understand each other and are equals, the only ones who can tear the other's wall down, and just practically soulmates in any form that even their sun & moon signs mirroring each other's? YES. 

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

i hc L as just a little bit taller than light, but it's not like you can see it through the hunch anyway. ofc we all know the 6 years and 4 months age gap

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Sayu likes L, Sachiko is kinda surprise Light doesn't date a typical pretty person, but it only makes her heart fonder. L doesn't mind them, he thinks they're nice, light grew up in a good place. Soichiro? Well, he might me a bit reluctant but he loosen up slowly, his son is happier than he ever was, after all.

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Light, obviously. Because he's a charmer and if L takes control, the person they speak to would run immediately the first 2 minutes.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

it is a universal knowledge that L does this. like, come on, count the fics, you can't, there's just so many. he loves to break that perfect wall and make light feel 🥴😳. it's entertaining. But he knows when to stop. too much of that will be embarrassing in light's part, and he respects his boy's dignity.

love :

Who said “I love you” first?

Light!! The thing is it was said over the phone. He gets more and more comfortable talking with L through calls, since every now and then L travel frok countries to countries. One time he just like "yeah, safe flight. love you, bye" he expected L to say goodnight to him as a response as usual but L was silent and he realised what he just said and realised that he fucking mean it. L seems to still be able to read his mind even thousands miles away so he replies with "i love you too, goodnight". they never missed seeing each other more than that night.

What are their primary love languages?

we had a discussion for this! but as we see in canon, they're both very acts of service with a little hint of physical touch here and there. quality time is also important. words and gift aren't really needed for them.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

L. Only to annoy light. It's terrible that he almost cringed to himself, but it does bring a good laugh for light.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

PDA is a not their preference, they just love being in private more. They might hold hands sometimes, butmost times they won't. Altho they always stand or sit reaaaaally glued to each other even though there are so many space. 

Who initiates kisses?

both. they want it, they got it. but light gives light kisses (ha) more, not necessarily on the lips, usually when L was really busy working, keeping his feet on the ground.

Who’s the big and little spoon?

They don't spoon a lot, they prefer not touching at all or cufdling face to face, but when they do, Light is the little spoon because being a big spoon makes his sleeping position kinda uncomfy, he feels awkward with his legs, it's just not. thankfully L thinks cuddling light this way is very calming.

What are their favorite things to do together?

Tennis and solving cases, duh. Or sometimes they play video games fighting each other. Anything competitive and/or challenging that make their brain grow 10 times bigger. But sometimes, a comfortingly peaceful and quiet dinner with hushed words thrown here and there about random things feels like the best thing ever.

Who’s more protective?

L. For identity reasons, ofc.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical. They can read each other's mind, they knew it by gesture, touches, and glances. 

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE. venus by sleeping at last fits them so well, that song is in the background of multiple cozy couch smooches sessions or even when they're slow dancing (please listen to this tho song it's so good). also i think they would like persephone by the tragic thrills too, L would be like "this song reminds me of you" and Light answers with "i'm persephone?" "Yeah" "i'm a fucking badass then" "yes you are". oh and first day of my life? lover of mine? pink in the night? sweet creature? the lakes? oh god i have too much answers

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they don't do nicknames, really. although, L sometimes called light with some snarky tony stark styled nicknames when he feels particularly playful but annoyed at the same time.

Who remembers the little things?

They both do. Big brained assholes they are.

domestic life :

If they get married, who proposes?

It's not really a proposal, they didn't  even remember who said it first. But one sleepy night after a hard case, someone said "hey you wanna get married" and the other was like "sure, why not" "really?" "yeah, i think i'm ready, you?" "me too" "great" and then they go to sleep. at breakfast the next morning L called watari from across the room and said "wammy i need you to prepare [enter marriage stuff here], and light, you must call your family after this". poor old watari chokes on his tea.

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

The wedding is in a secluded little place near the wammy's house, L used to go there a lot as a kid. With just light's parents, sayu, and watari. Well, not until Light caught Mello, Matt, Near, and Linda peeping from the bushes

Do they have any pets?

A chunky cat the wammy's kids feed daily but never try to keep them in, because no animals are allowed inside the orphanage. L saw it and was like "light let's bring this bitch home" she is, indeed a little bitch, but light and L loves her dearly. her fur has light brown and black colors, like both of their hairs, so she becomes their daughter, L gave him a weird ass name but i can't think about it rn.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Light because he's the one who's actually bothers to. They ofc annoyed L but he cpuldnt care less to actually get rid of them.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

L. He rarely sleeps and once he did, he wakes up very fucking late and will pull light back to the bed if he's woken up by the empty space beside him.

Who’s the better cook?

Light. L is a spoiled brat. But Light can't bale for shit, that's Watari's job. Light grow up learning and helping his mom making meals for the family. He's not the best, but it's good enough to make L craves them in between his sweets.

Who likes to dance?

None of them. But they would slow dance on rare, sentimental occasions. And it's like so fucking romantic bcs all the lights are off except for a candle or a table lamp or a cabinet lamp whatever that has yellow-y dim light. And they don't speak, they just casually move against each other, but heart ready to combust like i do when i the mental image came into my head.

[snusbandxknifewife]

How We Got Here/Where We’re Going

Hello yes hi! I am proud to introduce my gift for the lovely and amazing Tess, @clockworkgraystairs ! This started out as a wedding fic, but I couldn’t get it to work right until I was giving @wanderingpages her regularly scheduled Mayari update and saw her asynchronous pregnancy au and was like “!!!!!Holy shit that’s it.” So, without much further ado, I present the beginning of “How We Got Here/Where We’re Going”, an all human, modern au where Cardan and Jude have been a thing since college, ended up getting pregnant and having a daughter and marrying in their late 20s. Now it’s their honeymoon and they’re looking backwards at their past and forward towards their future.

~~~~~~~

Outside, fluffy grey clouds hung over a soft blanket of snow, masking any sound that might’ve accompanied the rising of the sun. Her bed was soft, her sheets warm, her room quiet. Jude couldn’t quite figure out what woke her up. Then, as she stretched out, her fingers hungrily searching as she fought sleep, she realized what it was: Cardan was missing.

Sitting up, her eyes bleary and drool dried on her cheek, she pouted. When she remembered that she didn’t have a stitch of clothing on—and that, plus a snowy log cabin, makes for freezing nips—she grumbled and burrowed back into the comforter.

Oh to have been a fly on the wall in the little cabin bedroom as Jude Greenbriar tumbled around in her nest of blankets, dragging them with her to grab underwear and pajamas and socks and fighting to avoid any cold air as she dressed. Cussing and tripping as she went, Jude scowled into nothing and cursed her fiancé—

Wait. Husband. It’s husband now.

—she cursed her husband for abandoning her to the elements and taking his space heater of a body with him when he went.

Jude wrapped herself up in her ball of bedding and went out the door, now awake enough to listen for movement in the small cabin. A pot clanged from the downstairs kitchen and her husband yelped and she smirked.

That’s what you get, loser.

As Jude walked down the stairs, she couldn’t miss the chaos of the living room. Most of their suitcases were still packed up and set by the fireplace, their skis and snow jackets barely made it in the door, and their wedding clothes were strewn haphazardly across the sofa. She was honestly impressed that they’d made it inside the house.

Just as she made it to the bottom of the stairs and headed towards the sofa to run her hand over her wedding dress, she heard something that made her stop.

“—And how should I know? Honestly Nic I’m not even sure how to bring it up to her,” Cardan sighed from within the kitchen, bustling around like he was making breakfast. “I think it might be good for us. Still, with how everything went when we had Faye, I don’t want to pressure her.”

She couldn’t help but frown in concern as her mind flitted back through everything she could remember about their first daughter and her pregnancy. From the confusion of her missed period to the worry as they waited on the test to the way Cardan’s eyes had lit up when the Ob/Gyn told them they were having a little girl.

What on earth would Nicasia be talking to him about?

Jude tried to tell herself that it was obvious, Nicasia was only days away from popping, and her pregnancy had been a bit of a nightmare. Maybe she was just nervous? But, then again, why ask Cardan about giving birth? Jude had been the one who carried Faye and, far more importantly, Nicasia’s own wife, Taryn, had already had a child herself.

Completely ignoring the fact that calling a man away from his wife on his honeymoon was probably in poor taste, but she digressed.

She kept herself as still as possible, angling her head so she could hear better.

“Yes, I know that, Nic,” he let out a little frustrated laugh, and Jude could just picture the way he would be pinching the bridge of his nose. “But Faye will be starting school soon and that’ll be a circus in it of itself, never mind adding on the stress that this would.”

He went quiet again and Jude crept back towards the stairs, hoping he wouldn’t walk through the kitchen door and catch her spying.

“I know you and Taryn want the little man to have a friend, but you remember how tough it was for Jude our first go round.”

Oh.

Jude’s hand flew to her belly and she had to jump to catch the falling blankets before they made a sound and alerted her new husband.

So she wasn’t the only one who was getting suggestions about expanding the family.

It made sense, everyone had been talking to Jude about the idea as the wedding had gotten closer. Oriana had been completely starry eyed ever since Taryn’s firstborn, Rosemary, had graced them with her presence. In fact, their stepmother had barely batted an eyelash at Jude’s worries when she’d fallen pregnant during college, she was far too excited at the idea of another grand baby. Madoc had gotten past the shock and the disdain for Cardan enough to be hounding them for a grandson. Taryn thought having cousins the same age made for perfect best friends. It was a mess.

Sure, Nicasia being pregnant had bought them a little respite, but she could go into labor literally any minute, so there went that.

Jude rolled her eyes and began loudly making her way down the stairs again, giving her husband fair warning this time as she walked through the living room and towards the kitchen.

“Hold on, here she comes,” he whispered, low enough that he likely thought she couldn’t hear. Then, she hit the kitchen door with her mobile blanket fort and he spun around with a: “hey Hot Mama!”

“Stop calling me that, you dork,” she made a face, instantly regretting her decision not to sneak up and scare him.

He’s stood there by the stove, wearing nothing but his low-slung flannel pajama pants and grinning at her like an idiot as he leaned back against the counter. She refused to let her sneer fall, only growing more annoyed at how he could walk around half naked in such a freezing house.

“Huh?” He must’ve forgotten he was talking to Nicasia because he seemed surprised when she began speaking on the other end of the phone. “Oh, yeah, Jude’s finally awake. Y’know I kept her up last night, heyo.”

Jude let out a disgusted groan and he just started to laugh, giving her an exaggerated wink and thrusting his hips forward in a way that absolutely did not put butterflies in her stomach, thank you very much.

He tilted his head, listening to Nicasia for a moment before finally giving up. “Here I’ll put her on speaker.”

“Hey Nic!” Jude smiled, finally dropping her pretenses and walking over to give Cardan a big, blankety hug and morning kiss. “How did Faye do last night?”

“She was great! Didn’t get up until about seven this morning. Of course the little man already had me up, fuckin’ kid always sitting on my bladder,” Nicasia griped through the phone and Jude snorted. “I don’t know how you and Taryn both did this it sucks.”

“Yeah, but the payoff is really cute,” she shrugged, leaning her head against Cardan’s collarbone. “Especially when they have your nose or your eyes or they start saying how much they love their Mommy.”

“Is Rosemary ready for baby?” Cardan asked as he wrapped his arm around his blanket bundle of a wife.

“You know how she gets, she’s super attached to her moms. Well have to see once Taryn and I actually bring him home.”

“I’m sure she’ll be a great big sister, she’s always been wonderful to Faye,” Jude offered, smiling as her husband pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “She was very sweet when Faye was a baby.”

“She was three then. Seven-year-olds have much bigger personalities.” Nicasia sounded exhausted, more exhausted than a normal pregnant person would be and Jude worried at her lip.

While they hadn’t always been the closest, she and Nicasia had grown into a really solid friendship ever since the other woman had begun dating Jude’s sister, and she didn’t like to see her struggling. Nic had been a huge help in Jude’s own life and relationship, she’d been an amazing friend to Cardan, she didn’t deserve anything but the best, happiest transition to a family of four.

“Well she takes after her mother.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, Jackass?” Nicasia laughed at Cardan, her voice sounding like the tension broke a little.

Jude opened her mouth to give some word of advice or make some statement about how sure she was that it would be ok, but got cut off by the sound of commotion on the other end of the phone.

“What? Oh, yes Faerie-Faye it’s Mommy and Daddy,” Nic said, sounding far away from the phone. “Of course you can darling, here you go.”

Jude’s heart swelled and tears unexpectedly pricked at the back of her eyes as their daughter fumbled with the phone. She felt guilty, having forgotten for a moment that they were on their honeymoon without Faye. It was their first trip alone since her birth, and they’d both been on pins and needles when they’d said goodbye to her at the reception hall last night.

“Mommy?” Faye’s voice, tiny and soft like the twinkling of a wind chime, came through the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey little elf! How are you? Mommy misses you so much,” she gushed, reaching out and taking the phone from her husband in a mindless attempt to feel physically closer to her daughter. “Have you been good for Aunty Taryn and Aunt Nicky?”

Jude listened attentively as her four-year-old prattled on about everything she’d done since she left the reception hall with her aunts and cousin last night. To hear her tell it, Faye had had a great time. While it made her happy, Jude also found herself a little sad at the idea that her baby girl was doing so well without mom.

“And Daddy, Aunt Nicky let me touch her tummy when baby cousin kicked!”

“Were you gentle, Princess?” Cardan asked. He always called their daughter Princess, had since the first moment he’d held her in his arms. “Remember what we’ve said about soft hands.”

“Yes Daddy I used soft hands and nice words!”

“That’s my girl,” he said, that proud grin he always got whenever Faye listened to them plastering itself across his face.

The phone fell away and they heard some distant talking before their daughter was back on.

“Ok Mommy and Daddy, Rosemary is awake and we’re playing Rome. I love you, bye-bye!”

And she was gone before either of them could say another word, likely dropping her Aunt’s phone on the floor, if history could serve as a teacher. Jude tried not to let it hurt too much, she knew how seriously Faye took Rome—her word for the pretend gladiator-style tournaments her and her cousin put on. On any other day she’d be slightly smug at how well her kid swung a sword, but today she was away from her daughter and it really sucked.

“Sorry about that, I’ll make sure she stays on longer tonight,” Nicasia promised before either of them said anything. “But you know gladiator is a serious time in our house.”

“Oh to be sure. My wife is raising a little killer.”

“Looks like it runs in the family,” she laughed back. “Listen I’ll let you to go do gross honeymoon shit. Love you both, I’ll let you know if baby boy makes an early appearance.”

“Love you too, tell Faye we love her,” Cardan said, taking his phone back when she ended the call.

And, just that quickly, the little cabin in the snow-laden forest was silent again. Jude in her mountain of covers looked up at her new husband, her pout from earlier back as she tried not to cry.

“Awe, don’t do that to me Mama Bear; you know she misses you,” he frowned, pulling her close and kissing her temple.

“She’s my baby Cardan,” Jude whined, her voice muffled against his chest. “When did Rome become more important than Mommy?”

He scoffed, gathering her and her extra padding and setting the whole pile atop the kitchen island. “Rome is not more important than Mommy, you know that.”

“Rome sure sounded more important than Mommy.”

He turned his back with a roll of his eyes, reaching for the coffee that he must’ve been brewing before she woke up. She stopped her pouting long enough to take in the sight: Cardan’s messy black hair, his low-slung pants, the blatantly obvious fingernail marks carved up his back from last night. It was certainly a sight for sore eyes; it’s not every day you can wake up to something like that when you’ve got a toddler in tow.

“When you’re done ogling, would you like a cup?” He looked over his shoulder quickly, catching her in the act. His eyes twinkled so bright and full of mischief she didn’t even feel bad about being caught, she just smirked at him as she nodded.

Jude looked outside and saw that the heavy grey clouds had given up the fight and large, fluffy snowflakes were falling, bathing the world in yet another layer of snow.

“I hope Nic doesn’t go into labor early, we may be stuck here if the snow doesn’t stop,” she observed, suddenly quiet as she took the cup from his outstretched hand and brought it to her face, soaking in the warmth.

Cardan followed her gaze as he leaned back against his own counter, sipping from her Mrs mug that Liliver had gotten her as a joke. He looked pleasantly tired, not wired like he’d been after an all nighter in college or exhausted the way he was when Faye’d had a bad night as an infant. He looked like he was fit to curl up in bed with a book and be lazy all day, content with his place in the world.

It was a good look on him.

“She told me earlier that her doctor said she was only at 1.5 centimeters, she should make it to her due date.”

“I didn’t.”

“Well you were full of surprises with Faye’s pregnancy,” he mock-glared at her and she chuckled into her drink, remembering the look on his face when she’d told him her water had broken in her final.

Then his words hit her and her smile fell as she remembered what she’d overheard him saying to Nicasia. Cardan, well tuned in to her body language after so many years, noticed instantly.

“What?”

What good is spying if you narc on yourself?

She sighed and stared into her mug, trying to figure out the words as he watched her, worried something was wrong. Then, finally, “I overheard you talking with Nic about my pregnancy with Faye.”

“How much did you hear?”

“Just the end, you talking about how tough it was, how you didn’t want to pressure me,” she admitted, continuing before he could respond. “I don’t want you to think you’re pressuring me I know we’ve talked about it and I—“

“Woah, woah, woah, calm it down Hot Mama let me explain,” he cut her off, taking her cup from her hands and setting it down in the counter so he could hold her. “That conversation wasn’t about the pregnancy, just the timing.”

“What?”

He sighed, his jaw working like it always does when he’s a little frustrated. “Nic called right after I got a text from my brother. I should’ve talked to you first but the timing just worked out weird.”

“From Balekin?” She crinkled her nose in a frown that she knew he found adorable. “What could he possibly want? He knows he literally missed our wedding, right? The wedding that was yesterday.”

She cursed herself internally as she saw his little wince. She shouldn’t have said it so harshly, it just pissed her off that the man who raised her husband would refuse to be there when they got married.

“No, from Dain,” Cardan said, stopping her thoughts right in their track. “It’s about the company. Rhyia is apparently sick of being CFO, wants a peace of the trust fund baby action like me.”

She couldn’t help but grind her teeth at that, remembering that glorious fight all those years ago at his family’s mansion when he’d announced their pregnancy.

“So what do you have to do with it?”

“Dain wants to keep it in the family,” he chewed at his bottom lip. “Remembers I was in for business and you were in for finance. Thinks we could make a go of it together.”

“Oh so now you’re family,” she laughed angrily, her blood already boiling again after four years of avoiding the subject. “You weren’t family when you were a defenseless kid and you weren’t family when we were pregnant and fucking panicking but now he needs something—“

She broke off with a huff, flexing her fists and aching for her punching bag back home in their basement. It really wouldn’t do getting this riled up, it hadn’t helped them before and it wouldn’t help them now.

“Cool it, Supervillain, I see that look in your eyes,” he chuckled, forcing his hands under the blankets so he could grab her by the hips.

“I’m not a supervillain,” she grumbled.

“You’re my supervillain,” he cooed back, leaning forward to press soft little butterfly kisses to her jawline. “My sexy little supervillain Hot Mama.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

She decided not to answer as he continued kissing down the line of her throat, his breath hot over her pulse and his lips soft against her chapped skin.

Jude couldn’t help the way she tilted her chin up, the little grin that graced her face as her eyes fluttered closed. She missed moments like these, times when they could be overly affectionate without having to worry about the baby seeing and yelling about how gross it was.

He pulled away and her eyes shot back open, ready to complain until she saw the look on his face. He was troubled, almost apprehensive.

“I was honestly thinking about agreeing,” he admitted before she could ask what was wrong.

Her brain short circuited for a moment, too distracted by his kisses to remember what they had been talking about. When she finally connected the dots, she frowned. “But you bought out of the company years ago, babe. Why go back to the headache?”

“A higher paying job,” he sighed, stepping away to run his hands through his messy hair and lean against the counter again. “I don’t like the idea of charging your sister more for my help, but I still want to make sure we have a secure future.”

“Baby, I know our finances. We are fine.” She took a sip of her coffee. “Even without my paycheck.”

“Still, I’d rather be safe. Plus Faye will be going to school next year and I’ll have all that extra time on my hands,” he looked away from her, chewing at the inside of his lip as he watched the snow fall. “We’d be able to really change how we live if we took this job. A better house, vacations, secure college fund for the kids.”

Jude studied Cardan, her eyes roving over his midnight black curls, down his ears—which used to be stretched—across the tattoo of her and Faye’s birthdates at his wrist, and she smiled. He’d changed so much since they first met, given up a lot of his more daring, self-destructive ways to provide for her and their family. He’d stepped up when she needed him to, he’d stepped up in a way that no man in his family ever did for him. She was proud.

“I thought kids is what you’d been discussing with Nic.”

His eyes shot back to her, but his head didn’t turn. She was quiet, almost nervous as she said it. They’d talked about maybe one day having more kids, mentioned it the same way one might say they wanted to hike the Appalachian trail some day.

But it had been so scary with Faye, so hard figuring out how to become parents, how to maintain their relationship and build a home, all while they were just barely adults. The pregnancy had been tough and full of shock, the family had been kind of a mess on both sides. It was just a disaster from the word go.

Still, Jude remembered how Cardan looked when he first saw that positive pregnancy test all those years ago. She remembered how he used to love waking up at night to feed the baby, called it his special Daddy-Daughter Time. She saw the way he still held one of Faye’s sonograms in his wallet every time she took her birth control.

“Did you now?” Cardan barely sounded like he was breathing.

She nodded. “I heard Nicasia giving you the same guilt trip Taryn gives me about cousins.”

“They do seem to think that baby boy should have a friend.” His face didn’t give anything away. He was, for the first time in years, so carefully blank around her.

“What do you think?”

The air, still frigid enough to keep Jude wrapped up in her nest, seemed charged with electricity as Cardan finally turned his head back to face his wife. If she’d gazed upon him with an untrained eye, she would’ve thought he looked like the picture of cruelty, an evil sneer pulling at his lips as he studied her through lidded eyes.

But Jude’s gaze wasn’t untrained, she knew her husband. And, so, she knew that the man in front of her was absolutely terrified as he said: “I think there might be some merit to the idea.”

He took a long sip of his coffee to hide his smile as Jude worried at her deformed ring finger.

“You?”

Well, here goes nothing

“I was thinking about stopping my birth control,” she quietly said, trying not to let her heart leap at the slight quirk of his brows. “Maybe not actively trying but, y’know, also not actively preventing.”

As soon as the words were out, she felt kind of panicked. Up until that point, everything they’d done—moving in after they got pregnant, getting engaged, marrying—had felt kind of inevitable. But having a second baby wasn’t necessarily a foregone conclusion. Talking about it felt nerve-wracking, like they were actually moving to make their family a reality.

“You want a kid with me?” Cardan sounded kind of awed, his jaw a little slack as he watched her.

“I have a kid with you, babe.”

“No,” he held a hand up. “No it was different with Faye. She wasn’t planned, she just happened and we figured out how to make it work.”

He set his drink down and once again crossed the distance between them, digging in to her cocoon as he pressed his forehead to hers.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love Faye with all my heart, she’s the best thing that’s happened to me,” he continued. “But the idea that you’d be more than ok with, that you’d literally want a child with me—“

“Does it shock you?”

He let out a small laugh, shaking his head as if to clear it before gazing up at her with love in his eyes. “Yes, Jude Greenbriar. Yes it does.”

“Well it shouldn’t,” she snorted. “I carried a little you once before and she turned out pretty damn cute.”

“I think I’m going to need to hear you actually say it.”

She laughed, her head thrown back as the sound filled the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around Cardan and kissed his temple, holding him close and thanking the gods that they’d made it to that point.

“You need to hear me say what?” Jude teased, her grin contagious as Cardan looked up at her.

“Jude, my darling my dear, my sexy little Hot Mama,” he started, dutifully ignoring how she dramatically protested at the nickname, “I need to hear you say that you want to have my child.”

Jude leaned forward, taking in the soft, earthy scent of him with a mischievous smile.

“Cardan, my love my sweet, my amazing sexy husband,” she imitated him, tilting her head to drag her teeth across his jaw.

He leaned back, giving her the room to slide off the kitchen counter and into his arms. The blankets fell off her shoulders, exposing her to the cool air as she pressed herself against him, already feeling just how desperately he wanted her.

She let her hands wander the expanse of his chest, her fingers ghosting over his skin until she could reach around to the nail marks on his back. With a smile, she traced them, remembering how he’d earned those scrapes when he spread her legs open on the floor last night after they’d given up on making it to the couch.

Cardan grabbed her by the hip, sliding one of his knees between her thighs and locking his eyes with hers as he waited with bated breath for her to finish.

Jude, not one to deny herself a good time, let the strap of her pajama shirt fall off her shoulder as she bit her bottom lip, leaned forward, and whispered--

“Put a baby in me.”

~~~~~~~~

A/N: Ok so a few things, one the tumblr app wouldn’t let me copy and paste all the story on mobile so I had to retype some online so I’m sorry if the format fucked up. Also I have a bunch of ideas for these kids so if you want to see any more of this AU, feel free to send in requests! Happy holidays @clockworkgraystairs , I hope you enjoy cute Parent!Jurdan doing cute adult shit!

Tag list: @cardan-greenbriar-tcp @hizqueen4life @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @thewickedkings @aelin-queen-of-terrasen @cheekycheekycheeks @queen-of-glass @b00kworm @doingmyrainbow @jurdanhell @thesirenwashere @illyrianwitchling @courtofjurdan @clockworkgraystairs @st00pid231 @booksandlewks @fateandluminary @addies-invisible-life If you want to be added, just let me know!

[bigsteeb]

this is gonna be a long post so bear with me, growing pains got a b i g emotional reaction out of me & I need to share my thoughts & feelings about it because jesus fucking christ.

ok first things first, someone hug this boy immediately. he’s sat in his room, still in his pajamas, in day time watching dog copter. this whole scene is just steven going “lol I’m sad, I’m gonna comfort eat & stay in my pajamas & watch a kids show I watched when I wasn’t as sad haha” & it’s not only upsetting, but relatable too fuck. his room is a mess along with him eating ice cream at what I assume is morning… making it his breakfast? geez steven. also idk if it’s just me here but in this shot he looks… bigger? like ignoring his body size shifting later on in the episode he looks a lot wider than he usually does when paul & drew board episodes to me, he’s rivalling etienne & maya’s steven’s wideness. did he… get chubbier from comfort eating? how much time has passed since together forever for him to put on weight if he has? this could literally just be steven slouching or his pajamas making him look bigger but as someone who is an advocate for the body positivity shown in su & suf it has me curious. I want to hug this soft, sad boy. It could also be due to how steven’s design fluctuates through the animation process, it’s never really on model all the time. 

the grunting noise he makes in this scene is very distressing, as are other moments from the episode too. a glimpse at the glow-bracelet he proposed to connie with is enough to physically pain him? fuck me man. is he leaving his room where there’s already ice cream… to get more ice cream? sobs. also the puns in this shot. I cant? slow burn?! you’re evil crewniverse. not to mention his body size changing throughout this scene, god this poor lad.

screams, this was when I started worrying. the boy is now in an environment he has never been in before & is feeling extremely uncomfortable & vulnerable. look at the lines under his eyes, his sad eyebrows & pout I hate it. also don’t even get me started on this part. the slight raise of a voice being enough to send him into panic?! fuck I hate how much I relate to that. 

here’s where I immediately broke, no god damn pun intended. seeing steven’s skeleton, steven’s fucking skull, like this pained me. that crack on his skull is from fucking jasper in jail break. I can’t express all of the visceral emotions that were going through my body at this. there was intense sadness for steven, extreme anger at jasper & the gems for allowing shit like this to happen to him. turns out he’s not as resilient as we thought he was. each hit he takes physically breaks him & then his gem instantly heals his wounds, my heart fucking broke at this. think back to everything that happened to him, everything that physically hurt him. it broke him I can’t deal with it! then there’s what priyanka says to steven next;

“you seem to of made a series of miraculous recoveries, but that doesn't change the fact that you experienced trauma. you’ve recovered physically but, have you recovered mentally?”

this part here along with her reassuring him that there’s nothing wrong with his brain, how childhood trauma can have an impact on how your body responds to stress & how you act in your social life, the usage of the word “cortisol” too. this stuff being in a children's tv show is incredible. the writing for priyanka describes trauma simply enough for kids to understand, but for adults to fully realise too. folks, steven has ptsd. there wasn't one bit of sugarcoating about it or nothing, this is canon fact & it hurts me. for so long have I wanted steven’s emotional issues to be alked about, to not only be brought to steven’s attention but to the audience’s too.

everything that has happened to him has built up to this moment. this moment where his behaviour & coping methods are finally making sense to a large majority of the fandom, & to steven himself. he’s hurting; physically, mentally & emotionally, & he isn’t coping well what so ever about it. his emotional support system is complete garbage, no one regularly checks in on him & folks just take steven at face value like “oh yea glowing pink? he’s fine it’s just steven” but he’s the bad person?! I hope a lot of you out there who genuinely believe steven is a bad person re-think yourselves after this. dealing with trauma is tough as shit. some days you even wonder if that one thing that fucked you up is really worth being labelled as trauma. I still can’t believe this is the route they’re taking, if he doesn’t get some form of therapy by the end of future I’ll be furious.

then things begin to spiral as he remembers what happened with connie. he clutches his chest in pain & begins changing size over intense amounts of stress & it was extremely distressing to watch. steven immediately reassures connie that this isn’t because of her, but because of everything else that happened to him. however. I believe that that’s a slight lie, he wouldn’t of spiralled if he hadn’t of remembered the proposal, steven you fucking himbo. he continues to reassure them both that he’s fine, just that he needs them to leave so he can calm himself enough to control himself.

then this happens.

“I. CAN’T. BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW!”

this was fucking intense. he means this literally in 2 ways btw. his body size shifting over the stress he’s feeling is a danger to both connie & priyanka in this moment, but it’s also because of how it started. being around connie hurts him. he’s not mad at her though let me make that very clear, just that thinking about what happened when he tired to propose to her is sending his head in a fritz. he did what he did full of confidence in together forever, for connie to then make him realise how silly he was being. these two are destined for each other, but that advice from ruby & sapphire has really fucked with him. he looks up to those 2, looks up to garnet, their relationship is so strong & stable. for them to give him that advice & to then scream “DO IT!” in his face is incredibly tasteless imo.

then greg gets here. I knew connie was calling for either greg or the gems when she was on her phone as she left the room, fuck yea connie I love you. the breathless, strained “thank you” from steven towards connie for calling his dad? g o d. connie telling him she’ll be there for him when he’s ready?! g o d. these next boards were done by rebecca, I knew immediately when I saw steven’s face. it makes sense that rebecca boarded these, because fuck. 

how do I move on from all of the stuff I’ve been through? how do I live life if it always feels like I’m about to die!?

I’m tearing up as I type this. when I first heard the leak of this audio I so badly wanted to believe it, but to also believe it was fake too. I was an emotional mess off & on for about 3 days over it because I couldn't stop thinking about how fucking distressing it was. like… shit steven. he seriously feels this. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain he felt just saying this in front of his fucking dad. he is hurting badly. this boy, this sweet sweet boy we’ve watched grow & develop into the person he is today is distraught about his future & life. it is… soul crushing to watch this. a group of friends of mine have found joking about the episode as a form of coping with the intensity of it & as much as that’s valid as fuck, any joke coming from this episode feels morally wrong to me. I can’t bring myself to join in it feels terrible even thinking about laughing at it to cope. I love them all, but I can’t bare myself to join them. this moment ending with greg comforting steven, telling him he’s here for him & all of his struggles, got me weeping. greg is possible the best father figure I’ve seen on tv, let alone a kids tv show. he’s amazing.

the final scene right here is lovely. greg making steven a hot chocolate & listening to him vent, reassuring him over his worry for his future. this right here is exactly what steven needs. someone to talk to, someone he could trust to talk about his feelings to. this the start of his support system, tag on peri from in dreams, bis in bismuth casual as well as connie from the past few episodes & it’s already looking great! even when greg eased him about being there for him steven still feels guilty about him leaving his tour, leaving his tour because he got a phone call from connie about his son being in need & steven feels guilty about it. fucking hell man. I did enjoy how the episode ended though, with that little moment between the both of them;

“just get some rest kiddo. you don’t have to solve all of your problems in one night.”

“yea. thanks dad.”

it’s a great message too, all of your struggles can’t be dealt with all at once. I’ve used a similar analogy before but it’s like removing a dead tree. you have to deal with all of the little things surround this issue first before you get to the deep, harder stuff. along side the message about trauma they’re both very important messages, I’m glad they exist in the show.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

one more thing before I end my thoughts & feelings over growing pains.

this ending shot;

as soon as I saw the frog mug my mind raced back to the promo for this scene, & this whole moment to come entirely. if you remember this moment has the first set of leaked audio within it, the audio of the gems basically cornering steven about him not opening up to them. christ pearl even gets mad at him for his gem building a wall behind him, protecting him from them. it’s common knowledge, I hope, that steven’s gem reacts to his emotional state. pearl herself has said this;

“I think your gem is reacting to your state of mind.”

his gem building this wall? it felt like steven was being threatened by them. this scene now has awful connotations with it. because since we now know what the pink mode is doing to steven, how actually painful it is, think back to these;

yea. fuck the gems. I’ll let it slide if steven, greg or priyanka haven’t told them about what happened at the hospital. but if they do know, if they know how much it hurts steven being in his pink mode & still press into him about it I’ll see red. with steven’s trauma & now ptsd being cemented into the show I fucking hope garnet, amethyst & pearl get held accountable for what they put on him as a kid. that shit will not slide with me if they don’t. do not condone what the gems put him through. do not condone the gems for making steven feel like he had to be his mum for them. just… don’t. please.

[cowboyified]

Below are some WIPs I’m releasing into the wild. They were all written at different times over the past two years so any mistakes/cliches you can blame on past June, I don’t know them. 

Go, be free.

This first one I think is the one I’m most fond of. I had such a vision for it; bottlecaps in trees, river swimming, making out against the fridge, all that good stuff you get with weecest. 

The summer Sam is seventeen they stay in one place for long enough Dean starts referring to it as ‘home’. 

It’s an old farmhouse, miles from any other structure, bar an outhouse and hay shed. There’s a porch running the length of the front and back, the wooden boards pulled up from their nails, wavy with the weather. Weatherboard paint peeling, wallpaper inside torn and missing in most places. 

They’re squatting, technically. The property owned by a family saved by hunters once, friends of friends of Bobby’s, too distraught by what they’d witnessed to raise their kids on cursed land. Dean had told Sam that Dad had been told by Bobby that had been told by Pastor Jim that it was chupacabras. A whole pack of ‘em, feeding off the lambs in the back paddock, tried to take a bite out of the baby girl and Sam had said, “As if man, those things are tiny, I’ve seen pictures, you could kick one and it would limp away like a fucking chihuaha, you scared of chihuahas, huh, Dean?” But Sam still hikes his sheet up under his chin when he hears scuffling under their window between sleep. 

There’s remnants of the house’s past inhabitants still scattered around the place. Sam had stood and slid two inches on the wheels of a tiny replica car that had been jammed under the couch the second day they arrived, piffed it at his brother’s head, who’d caught it, exclaimed that it was Camero, dude, treat her with some respect and had sat it on top of the fridge. 

The bookshelf in the corner of their shared bedroom holds mostly dust and tattered occult books stolen from libraries from all over the country, left by hunters who have found what they’ve needed and moved on. There are a few of the worst Stephen King novels shoved haphazardly on the top shelf and Sam finds something funny in that, the irony in enjoying bad horror when the real deal lurks behind the screen door. 

Dean gives him a look when Sam pulls down and cracks open a copy of The Tommyknockers, snorts, “Haven’t you read that one already?” and Sam says, tucking himself into bed, “Yeah, it fucking sucks, King was royally off his head while writing it, that’s why it’s so good.” Sam finishes three quarters of it in one sitting while listening to Dean’s quiet snores from the other side of the room. 

It’s a ten minute drive to the closest town, an off the highway, invisible to the outside world, kind of one-street community. No reason to take the exit if you don’t already know it’s there, one store, one gas station, one bar in an old brick post office building, unfitting, the carpet pulled up at the corners but home to the best fries Sam has ever had in his life. 

Sam follows Dean out to the courtyard, neither of them are legally old enough to drink but there’s nothing else to do but to get respectably drunk in a place like this, anyone that has lived long enough in the true country is some kind of functioning alcoholic, so Dean orders a beer and isn’t asked for ID. In a town small enough for everyone to know every intricate detail in the threads of dirty laundry, they are foreigners. No one knows where they’re from or where they’re going and Sam knows that Dean likes it that way.

It’s never been a secret that Sam prefers to feel like he has a part in everyday normalcy. Dean thrives under anonymity, gets a kick out of it because it makes him feel dangerous. He had stopped accompanying Sam to school two states ago, a silent agreement with their father when Dean had come home early and helped John cut splits into the tips of bullets instead. Like hell I’m signing up for compulsory extra curricular activities. What’s the point in making friends with people whose biggest concerns are the answers to whatever bullshit test and who fucked who last Friday? 

Finding comfort in a nine-to-five kind of community is a flaw Sam’s been burdened to deal with. 

It’s early afternoon, the courtyard is empty and the table they chose rocks on its legs every time Dean slides his drink over for Sam to share. It’s bitter and Sam hasn’t had enough beer in his life to know if it’s supposed to be like that or if it has just soured from the long journey it took to get from the brewery to their glass. He drinks it and doesn’t grimace because his brother is looking at him through the rays of warm country sun. 

“Tastes like piss, huh,” Dean says, leaning forward out of the light so Sam can see him clearly again. He takes back the glass. 

“S’not that bad,” Sam replies, rubbing the leftover condensation into his hand, doesn’t look at Dean, finds it hard these days, twists in his gut all wrong. Sam knows why. 

His brother hums, “There’s gotta be something else to do around here.”

Sam thinks, Dad’s left the car, we can go wherever we want, but doesn’t say it because his brother is loyal to a disastrous fault. 

That’s a recurring thought. Sam in the shotgun seat, his brother behind the wheel, driving away. Just away, to someplace else and they’d be okay because they’d have each other and all Sam ever needs is his brother, like water. But John will be back in two weeks, term starts again in a month and he needs his father to sign the enrollment forms. Two more years. 

“You see the old dredge outside of town?” Sam asks, remembers passing it when they arrived, all twisted, rusting metal, the bones of it against the setting sun.

“What did I tell you about respecting your elders?”

“You told me that they all smell like porridge and are easily susceptible to sleight of hand. No, Dean, Dredge,” Sam stresses. “Big rusty old machine that pulls minerals out of water.”

“Looking to strike big, Sammy?”

“Yeah, you see, my family is poor, brother at home too dumb to get a job. Our father went to get milk and never came back,” Sam sniffs for effect. “I can’t go home empty handed again, sir.” 

“Ah, a real sob story,” Dean nods in understanding, tips his head back and finishes the beer. “Let’s get out there then, sonny. We shan't let that simpleton, downright fool of a brother go hungry.” Dean jabs Sam in the ribs when he stands, hard enough for him to gasp, gets Sam’s head under his arm before he can recover. Sam claws embarrassingly at his brother’s torso, face pressed warm into the side of Dean’s waist. 

“I will pray for us young Samuel, for I too, dream of riches,” his brother is exclaiming, tripping them out and onto the street. “I only ask that we share whatever bounty dredged as I saw the most exquisite pony a few miles back and I simply must have it.”

And Sam thinks - with his flushed cheek hard against Dean’s skin through the thin sweaty fabric of his shirt, heart beating too fast against his ribs in a way that has nothing to do with exhaustion - you can have it all. 

---

Sam’s brother’s perpetual state of being is ten miles over the speed limit; this can be applied to almost every aspect of him. Dean goes and goes and rarely stops. They’re pushing double that out of town, north of their property, into the forever stretch of flat land and Sam loses himself in it. That idea of away, of going and going and that Dean could take him because he’s an expert in the field. 

The Impala blasts Born To Be Wild and Sam imagines the lyrics spreading out over the dry grass. He rolls the window down and throws his head out, trying his best to keep his eyes open against the road’s wind. The sun beats down, warmth soaking through and into his bones and Sam laughs as the cattle turn to catch a glimpse of them soaring. 

Dean pulls him in, tugs at the back of his shirt, says something along the lines of, what are you, a dog? Should get you a shock collar for all the times you’re a little bitch, but Sam can’t hear him over the roaring of the open window and the look of transparent glee on Dean’s face, it’s loud and assaulting and Sam has to turn away because seeing Dean like that wobbles him dangerously from the nonchalant facade he has going on in relation to how he feels about his brother. But mostly his face hurts from smiling too wide.

Used as a warm up last year. Boyking!Sam

He thinks he’s in Louisiana, maybe. That he got here in the tray of a pickup and that he couldn’t feel the wind in his hair like maybe he should. The driver had stopped for a piss-break and Sam had snapped his neck without his hands.

He rubs them together now, tries to feel guilty but there’s nothing to feel guilty about because his hands are clean; he doesn’t have to use them anymore. 

Sam thinks he’s in Louisiana because he stepped out of the truck and into a wet kind of heat. There’s a church with thick greenery growing over the roof and white wood that’s been mold-blackened by the humidity. He laughs to the darkness because it's very funny to him that he’s driven himself subconsciously to a place of grace. 

He skips up the steps, two at a time, gleefully. The smell of the bayou and rotting wood has put him in a good mood. The lock snaps when he blinks, the chain unraveling and snaking into a coil at his feet. The doors open for him and maybe he did that with his mind too, or maybe they were just expecting him. 

The church has been used recently, its interior better kept than the outside, bibles tucked neatly in the backs of pews, ribbons tied into plaits. The white of the moon falls in blankets through the windows, shadows of leaves moving over the floor like rippling water and the bust of Mother Mary prays for him at the altar. 

Sam spreads his arms and addresses her, says to the room at large, “Shall I repent for my sins, oh Lord?” and it echoes, gives him goosebumps, a current under his skin. He has an audience here because God is omnipresent, this is a place of worship and Sam has always been good at that. 

A church in Louisiana, standing before a plaster of his mother’s namesake in a church for a God he used to think could have some defying factor in a destiny that was always going to be concrete. It’s funny, blatantly. Sam puts his hands gently to Mary’s cold face, kisses her on her lips before crushing her head, spraying ceramic. 

Sam stands behind the lectern, hands red with his own blood now, sticking the pages of the Good Book. He’s read it before anyway. 

“Am I to be forgiven?” 

Last is a casefic I had planned out in 2019. I didn’t get very far into the actual writing part of it, but I still think the setting is cool, less so the plot I had in mind. 

Just outside of Bridgeport, Connecticut there’s a community built on a sandbar. A small secluded semi-island, connected to the mainland by a mile-long beachfront. A town of forty to fifty now abandoned, vandalised residences.

The police find the bodies of the boys there, bleeding out and into the sand, each other’s skin caught under their fingernails. 

Sam watches as his brother pulls the sheet back from one of the corpses, laying blue on the steel morgue tray. He’s a kid, a boy, not even eighteen. Hairless, lanky, multiple stab wounds puckered around his belly and Sam thinks he does not look peaceful for someone who is meant to be at rest. 

Dean is quieter than usual, his body language stiff. They’ve seen their fair share of dead kids but Sam thinks that this one might look a little too much like an adolescent version of himself. Shaggy brown hair, too long limbs, college on the horizon. Sam blankets the sheet back over the boy’s face and hears his brother exhale in what he thinks might be relief.

The coroner tells them that the other two are the same, besides the youngest one. He’d been blinded, thumbs pushed through his eyes until they popped like grapes. He asks if they want to see him too and Sam says no, thank you, we’ve got what we need.

Which is a whole lot of nothing, but they’ve only just arrived and there’s evidence that doesn’t involve corpses that needs to be checked.

“Pussied out in there huh, Sammy?” Dean says as they’re walking down the funeral home’s front steps, past the manicured roses and trimmed lawn. You see these perfect hedges? We’ll treat your dead mother with the same detailed care!

Sam pulls at his tie and scoffs because he knows he wasn’t the only one uncomfortable standing in the morgue; cases that involve kids always rub them both wrong.

[pi-cat000]

MSA time travel idea (part 42)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Vivi POV, 8, 9, 10, Lewis POV, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, Lance POV 18, 19, Lewis POV 2, 21 , 22, Vivi POV 2, 24, 25  Lewis POV 3,  Mystery POV , Vivi POV 3, 29, Lewis POV 4, 31, ViVi POV 4 , 33, 34, Lewis POV 5, Mystery POV 2, Lewis POV 6, Vivi POV 5, Lewis POV 7 Vivi POV 6 Vivi POV 7

Part 43: here

...

(ARTHUR POV)

“Maybe, if you’d been even half of what he was, you wouldn’t have been possessed so damn easily. I mean, this kid put up more of a fight, and he’s pretty much a walking collection of neurosis,” the demon taunts.

“I said shut up!”

The demon, and by default, Arthur, narrows their eyes. Micky’s sudden appearance has thrown a wrench into its plans, drawing its full and undivided attention. Irritation curls around Arthur, replacing the previous sensations of smug satisfaction and amusement. The emotion is unpleasant, making Arthur’s mind crawl but it’s better than the sadistic joy he had been forced to endure as it was stabbing Lewis. For the first time since that disastrous meeting in the hospital’s car-park, Arthur finds himself completely free of surveillance. The demon’s attention is focused solely on Micky and the gun. The shift is so sudden and is Arthur so panicked, that he almost doesn’t recognise the opportunity. 

Luckily-the only luck he’s had in a long while-he does recognise his opening. His one chance to make things right. 

A desperate calm settles over him. Lightning flashes, illuminating the faint blue and purple of Vivi and Lewis’s clothes. Mystery glows ever brighter, casting a red tint on the concrete around him. Everything else is darker shades of grey, fading into black.

In his new state of calm, Arthur can envision how the next few seconds would play out. Micky would shoot. The demon would dodge.  Even now, he can feel how his body is tensing, preparing to duck to the side. The demon is hyper-focus on the gun, watching Micky’s every muscle twitch. To dodge, the demon would have to already be moving even before the gun went off. It would need precise control and a split-second warning just before the shot. After the gun fired, Vivi would run forward to ‘save’ him, putting herself in danger. Then, Mystery would be forced to transform and save her. In the commotion, the demon would make their escape. 

“Did you even go back to bury him, or did you just leave him there? What happened to all the ritual, funeral nonsense to send his soul on its merry way? How disrespectful.” The demon’s voice is full of malice, coloured with amusement, aiming to both harm and insult. 

The gun clicks in Micky’s hand. Already, Arthur can feel himself tensing, preparing to move fast.

“Stop!” Vivi lurches upright and Mystery blocks her from jumping between them. “If you shoot, you’ll kill Arthur!”

 This is okay. Arthur has already accepted that he might never see his friends again. The demon would run, take him away, and they would be safe. Mystery would pass along his apology and it would be fine. The only one to really suffer would be him and he thinks he can live with that. Is that true though? 

“That fucking brat sent us to our deaths. He’s just as guilty.”

It wasn’t just him that would suffer was it? This thing would keep on killing. It would use his body to kill other people and maybe, one day, it would go after Lewis or Vivi again. The creature wanted Arthur specifically and he is aware enough to know that the demon has got some sort of plan involving his messed-up soul. 

The body snatcher sniggers, “I’m sure Dan would be very unimpressed with how you're threatening this poor innocent human. I mean, if he weren’t a shish-kebab at the bottom of a cave.” 

Micky yells, loud, animalistic, full of pain and rage. Arthur feels a pang of empathy for the man who had had the misfortune of running into him and being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Just like Darrel.

In that fraction of a second before the gun goes off, his body, under the direction of the demon, lunches to the right.  Everything slows, time crawling by. Arthur can already see Mystery leaping, his dog form rapidly expanding. Vivi is also running towards him, face white with fear. 

His way out was suddenly blindingly clear.

With all his remaining will power, throws himself to the left. He slams into the mental barrier separating him from his body. Similar to when he’d first tried this in the van, the demon falters ever so briefly, its attention refocusing onto him and away from Micky. For a fraction of a second, in between heartbeats, the demon’s movements slow. Unlike when he had tried this before, there is no time for the demon to react.

 “ARTHUR!”

 The shout rings in his ears alongside the loud CRACK of a shotgun discharging. 

A sudden weight smacks him in the chest and he stumbles back. This time, Arthur’s sense of fear is mixed in with his own cold vindication. In a moment of role reversal, it is Arthur feeling spiteful and the demon experiencing surprise. 

“You little shit,” He feels himself spit the words out, angry, even as new wetness clogs his throat and the metallic taste of blood floods his mouth. Time accelerates again. Arthur hits the pavement and doesn’t even care that his head cracks on the hard surface. All bodily sensation is fuzzy now. Any pain one would expect to feel after getting shot is dulled. Surprise quickly turns to anger. The demon is almost brittle with furry, its full attention bearing down on him from all angles, pressing in. Suffocating. 

“Shit. Shit. Shit…Bleeding…that’s a lot of blood. Need to control the bleeding.” Arthur focuses on Vivi’s face which materialises above him. For the first time since his possession, Arthur managers to move of his own violation, taking a hash breath. The process is an immense struggle and he’s not sure if it’s because of the demon or blood loss. 

“Vi…” His tong feels heavy and foreign, the words he tries to say are garbled by the blood coming up through his throat. He doesn’t get more than a syllable out before the control is wrestled away. 

‘You think this is over?’ The voice echoes in his head, low and threatening.

“Shh. Don’t speak. Everything will be okay. I don’t think its hit anything important. Just lie still.” Her expression is a mix of horror and worry. Regret quickly roles over his vindication because the last thing he wants is for Vivi to have to watch her friend bleed out and die.

His vision blurs. A purple outline appears alongside Vivi. It’s Lewis, equally, if not more panic-stricken. He can feel to demon’s attention re-centre, staring Lewis right in the eye. 

 “What’s…up. You…goin…watch him die …with me?” The demon jerks, trying to grab a hold of Lewis’s bear unprotected hands.  

‘You can’t have Lewis.’ 

Arthur slams his full mental weight into malicious presence, pushing it to one side, cutting it off mid-sentence. As his body weakens so does its control. They’re both weak now. 

‘Sharing is caring.’ Is sneered. A wave of malicious intent  chips away at his control, paralysing rational thought with uncontained fear.  Arthur feels his hand lift under the demon’s renewed power, reaching weakly for Lewis, beckoning. 

“Lew…is.” Arthur tries to speak and warn his friend off.  

 ‘Don’t do it.’ He can’t get the words out, his control failing. It is like being back in the cave, unable to stop the unimaginably terrible from happening. His vision distorts, made worse by the night around them. He can barely see the conflict waring across his friend’s face.   His arm is numb. He and Lewis are standing on a ledge overlooking a steep drop…green is pooling at the edges of his vision. It doesn’t matter that they are both weak, the demon’s got him beat in the willpower department. Too many past mistakes occupy his thoughts, distracting him. 

Lewis’s hand hovers then closes around his, drawing his focus. The hand is warm almost comforting.

NO.

He claws at the demon, ripping and tearing at anything he can reach, trying to drag it down with him. A patronising laugh bounces around and there is the sensation of something rushing to escape. Arthur scratches and grasps but it is hard to hold onto something that hardly exists. The result is an exercise in futility like he’s trying to dig his nails into loose shale. 

‘Nice try but you’re a few centuries too inexperienced to hold me down.’ The demon slips away, leaving him to sink downwards, alone. ‘Try not to die while I’m out would you. I would hate for all this drama to be for nothing,’ Arthur can still feel the echo of rage and malevolence underlining its final amused jab as it fades from his consciousness. The demon is angry. He knows it is going to do its level best to hurt Lewis. There is nothing he can do to stop it. And, suddenly, Arthur is alone in his own mind.

“Why?” He coughs, wishing he could shake an answer out of Lewis. ‘Why did you do that Lewis?’ The last he sees of Lewis is a green discolouration creeping up the other’s arm. Lewis stumbles away, swallowed by the night. 

Vivi’s shocked face fades to nothing a second later. Then there is only darkness. No demon, just himself and all his mistakes.  No snarky running commentary on how screwed up and pathetic he was. No weird dissonance as he experienced two sets of emotional responses. He is just Arthur existing alone. He should feel relieved. This should be a triumph. 

It's not...

.

It’s dark and he’s falling, slamming into a stone spike. Two sets of memories blur together, becoming one extended nightmare. Two failed timelines are laid before him in a spread of damning evidence against his very existence.

Lewis is dead…then alive, grinning, eyes flashing bright green as he looks down on him, “Once in a millennia chance and you managed to screw it up.” There is fire rising around him, growing increasingly not, framing Lewis’s human visage. “This is your fault.”

 He coughs, gripping the spike piercing up through his chest. 

“How many can say they’ve had a second chance? None. That’s how many?” Lewis growls and the flames become unbearably hot till even the air itself hurts. “Face it. I just wasn’t that important to you.” Arthur should just stop trying to fight and let the fire burn away all that was left of him. 

It’s what he deserves. 

“So that’s it.”  The female voice cuts through the crackle of the fire, “You’re just going to give up?" 

The stone around him shifts, colours mutating from purple and green to a gleaming, blue-tinted ice. Gone is the stone spike, the cliff, and the cave, to be replaced by an empty snow-filled field. He is no longer in pain. He is kneeling, half-buried in snow, surrounded be an empty silver-grey landscape. 

“What about your promise to answer my questions. You’re going to leave everyone behind wondering what the heck happened?” Lewis and his fire disappear, replaced with cold air and a familiar voice. He squints up at the blurry Vivi-shaped outline but can’t make out her face. The word around him is too blindingly bright to make out any details.

“I can’t…” he pleads, “I’ve made so many mistakes.”

“So what. That’s never stopped you before.”

He drops his gaze, ignoring the the rustle of fabric as a person knelt in front of him.

“We all make mistakes.”  Her voice is soft.

“I don’t know what to do?”  

If there’s one thing the demon has taught him it was that things could always get worse.

“It’ll be okay Arthur. Just explain what happened. I’ll understand.”

He looks up, desperately searching for the face of a familiar older Vivi. 

“I miss you.”  He doesn’t care that he is angsting over what was probably a figment of his imagination. The shadow of a Vivi he’d left behind in a future that would never happen. 

“Silly, I never left.”

The white space above him splinters, shattering like glass, falling on him like flakes of snow.

.

.

.

His next breath is heavy like he is struggling against some immense weight.  It is nothing like being on the cliff, struggling to breathe against the heat and having it cut with frigid cold, this is real. The sensation of forcing his lungs to expand and take in the dry air is almost too real. A dull ache settles over him and he can’t tell if it is coming from his body or somewhere deep in his chest. Everything feels floaty and unreal and he struggles to pull together a coherent thought. Arthur wills his eyes to open, almost afraid to try and have this illusion of control snatched away. 

Light eclipses the dark. The imprint of spikes, fire and ice, fade into a nightmare. He stares up at a familiar off-white ceiling. A pattern of square panels, broken by two overhead lights, one of which is switched off, meaning the room in only half lit. The faint smell of anaesthetic and bleach lingers in the air. Absently, he recognises the hospital ceiling. The dejavu is painful.  

Slowly, almost too afraid to try, he turns his head, scanning for his arm. There is a needle disappearing into his skin just above his wrist which is connected to a machine beeping a faint rhythmic pattern. It is his flesh and blood arm. This is his original arm, meaning this is the other timeline. The one he had just royally screwed up. His fingers twitch when he wills them to move, jerking inwards to grasp at nothing. This is the timeline where his Uncle is dead, and Lewis is probably off somewhere killing people under the demon’s control. An unbearable sadness descends upon him. He takes solace in the melancholy, welcoming it, wrapping it around himself like a familiar blanket. Maybe, if he waited long enough, the demon would return, and he would be able to save Lewis. Arthur doubts it, he has nothing of value to trade aside from himself and Lewis is ten times more valuable than him. It was pointless. Maybe he hadn’t learnt his lesson about wanting things. Maybe he will just lie here forever, wasting away.

 Maybe that didn’t sound so bad.

“Arthur.” The surprised voice cuts into him, slicing apart his thoughts.

He blinks, twitching to glance to the side, focus shifting  past the empty hospital chair placed next to his bed and towards the doorway. Vivi. She is standing in the entrance. Her clothes are wrinkled, speckled with dirt, and she has smudges across her face that look a bit like wood ash. Her eyes are wild with open surprise. 

Her surprise becomes relief, mixed with conflicting joy and apprehension. 

“You’re awake.” She speaks slowly, voice halting. 

“V…” His throat is far too dry to speak so the word comes out as a wheeze. 

Whatever misgivings had Vivi frozen in the doorway, they don’t hold her for long and she is across the room in a flash of blue. The next thing he knows her weight is resting across his shoulder and chest, gripping onto him. There is a brief flash of purely physical pain as she bumps the wad of bandages he only just notices are covering the upper half of his torso, wrapping his collar bone. Her face is awkwardly pressed against his opposite shoulder.

When his vision blurs, he panics, momentarily thinking he was losing his control. However, he quickly recognises it as a different sort of loss of control. A normal loss of control. There is water pooling in his eyes, running down his face. He’s crying, making breathing hard. 

“You idiot.” Vivi’s voice is unsteady now, full of hurt, “You colossal idiot.”

“I'm…sor…” He swallows, coughing out the apology “…ry”  He doesn’t know what exactly he’s apologising for but he’s made so many mistakes that it’s the only thing he can think to say. 

“I thought you were going to die.”

Sluggishly, Arthur tries to raise a hand, the one without a needle sticking into it, to hold onto the fabric of her jacket. His muscles feel a bit like jelly, spasming occasionally, as his mind re-associates mental commands with movement. He realises with a pang of grief that she is wearing Lewis’s jacket. What happened to Lewis?  He tries to speak, to explain, to ask questions, but his throat is still too dry. After attempting this a few more times he gives up and allows himself the small comfort of being able to hug Vivi again. 

..

NOTE: Happy Holidays!! Have an update as a gift :) Hope everyone is safe and wish you all good luck transitioning into the new year. Thank you for another years worth of support of this fic, it means a lot. 

Part 43: here

[speuradair]

Domestic Nagito Headcanons

(Content warning- pregnancy mention, put below the ‘continue reading’ for easy avoidance)

I’ve talked about how Nagito would view the idea of having a future with his s/o before

It would take some serious convincing for him to even begin to believe that that’s a possibility

It’s not that he doesn’t want to be with you forever- that’s one of the things he wants most in life

It’s just that he can’t bring himself to believe he deserves you 

He feels already feels guilty about how long he’s kept you to himself when you’re so amazing and he’s, well, self-proclaimed trash

And what if his luck hurts you?

Having you fall for him was his ultimate good luck, and now he’s just waiting for the ultimate bad luck to come crashing down on him

He’s given you so many chances and so many reasons to leave him

For your own sake

But you just won’t leave

He just doesn’t understand that

He is endlessly grateful for you though

He just isn’t convinced he deserves it

It makes him feel a bit guilty, like he’s tricked you into liking him

It took him a long time to even bring himself to talk to you in general, and it’s going to take a while for him to get comfortable enough to even really be able to genuinely consider it without feeling intense, nauseating guilt

-

Once Nagito does come around to the idea, I think it wouldn’t end up being a traditional proposal

He accidentally reveals that he’s been thinking about it while he’s in one of his manic, hope obsessing episodes

something to the effect of ‘and you’re just so full of hope, and I can’t get enough, I just want to marry you and be with you forever-’

He wouldn’t even realize he just said something so serious

He just keeps rambling

You’d have to physically grab his hand and interrupt him

“Nagito, what did you just say?”

“..huh?”

“You said.. You said you want to get married”

- 

Unless you really had your heart set on a large, fancy wedding, your wedding wouldn’t be huge

You’re the most important thing to Nagito, he doesn’t need anything else

It’s probably a small event with just the people really important to the two of you

(read as: your loved ones, and Hajime) 

(He only wanted to invite Hajime)

“You.. don’t want to invite any of the others?”

“Just Hajime”

A small outdoor wedding 

It starts to pour in the middle of the ceremony

Leading Nagito to feel really bad about ‘his luck ruining the wedding’

But you just laugh, kiss him, and tell him that rain on your wedding day is actually said to be good luck

-

Living with Nagito is.. Interesting

He’s an odd mix of distant and extremely clingy

On the days he feels particularly insecure or guilty about his luck, he’ll seclude himself away, insisting that he’s busy and he’s sure you have something better to be focusing on anyway

You’d have to gauge the situation as best as possible and make a choice between letting him be and telling him you’ll be just in the other room if he needs you, or pushing him a bit and insisting on staying by his side 

It can be kind of difficult to figure out which one he wants more

Sometimes he needs space, and sometimes he needs you to snap him out of it and tell him why he’s wrong

On days he’s feeling less dangerous and guilty, he tends to follow you around like a lost puppy

He doesn’t even really realize he’s doing it

He just always ends up in the same room as you, usually sitting within one or two feet of you

And on days he’s feeling abnormally good, he’s literally clinging to you every second he can

He wraps himself around you, not wanting to let you even get out of bed

Then when you do, he follows you around

He’ll come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, nuzzling his face into your shoulder

He’ll feel guilty and embarrassed about it the second he snaps out of his lovesick haze, but you would never bring it up 

You just enjoy the affection and love

I have a headcanon that Nagito brings home stray cats he finds because he feels bad that they don’t have a family

So prepare for Nagito to suddenly come home with, like, at least five cats trailing behind him at any given moment

His favorite is the fluffy white kitten

They have the same hair

Also

Pro tip-

Always make sure the batteries in your smoke detector work

The poor guy can barely walk past the kitchen without starting a fire

Renter’s insurance is also a really good idea

He tried to cook dinner the second night after you moved in and you had to scrub and repaint the ceiling from the flames licking it

But he’s also really good at finding things you’ve lost in the first place he looks

So that’s a plus

Nagito is very conflicted when you tell him that you’re pregnant

On one hand, there’s going to be a mini you!! You two made a little hope-filled you!!

But on the other hand, there’s going to be a mini him-

A tiny, little, possibly very unlucky him 

What if he’s unintentionally passed his luckiness, and unluckiness, onto a poor unsuspecting baby?

Just as he is with you, he’s caught in the middle of needing to protect this baby 24/7 and wanting to stay as far away as possible to keep them from getting hurt

He knows first hand how much it sucks to grow up without parents

His guilt over bringing unluckiness to everyone around him is overshadowed by the guilt he’d feel over not being there as a father for his child

Still very hesitant though

He’s there, but he’s keeping himself at an arm's length 

You’d have to pull him closer yourself

Tell him that you trust him, even if he doesn’t fully trust himself

Tell him that you’re certain he’ll be a great father, just like he’s a great husband

And keep telling him that each and every time he gets scared or paranoid

-

Nagito is absolutely overjoyed when you two find out your baby is a girl

It serves as another reason for him to believe she won’t be very much like him

He’s really hoping that she’ll be exactly like you

She can have your talent, your hair, your eyes, your skin tone, etc, and he’d be perfectly happy

He’s very worried about passing anything bad onto her

-

As luck would have it, it’s a relatively easy labor and delivery, and you two have the most beautiful little girl you’ve ever seen

She has his hair and your eyes

He’s terrified honestly

She’s just so… small

So fragile

He looks like an absolute deer in the headlights when the nurse asks if he wants to hold her

He stammers, trying to say no without looking too panicked, but you give him such a gentle look and tell him he should

So he exhales shakily and nods, sitting down in the chair beside your hospital bed before taking her into his arms

He’s sitting so still, frozen in place

Is he breathing?

He isn’t breathing

Remind him to breathe

“Babe, it’s okay to breathe-”

Only holds her for a few minutes before he gets too freaked out and hands her back to you

It’s gonna take him a while to build up the confidence to hold her for very long

-

Before he’s fully comfortable holding her by himself, he’ll spend hours just hovering over the crib watching her

She’s just so perfect

He loves her so much, it’s kind of overwhelming

She’s such a pure source of hope

When he does feel better about holding her, he hardly ever puts her down

And when he does, he has her set safely next to him in a baby seat, and he’s explaining everything he does to her

“And this is your bottle! I’ll warm it up, carefully- and then I can give it to you!”

It’s absolutely adorable

He’s the kind of parent that films or photographs everything his kid does

Will send you pictures every two minutes when you’re out

Fawns over her 24/7

“Look at her, babe! She’s so good at that!”

“So good at… breathing and chewing on her hand?”

“Yeah!! She’s so smart, I bet she’s gonna grow up to be an ultimate-”

She’s his little hope

-

Each day that passes without anything insanely luck related makes him happier and happier

She may look a lot like him, but you two are almost certain that she doesn’t have his luck at this point

She’s just a normal, beautiful little girl

And you three are an almost normal, loving family

[helaintoloki]

Of Monsters and Men

(collab piece with @obitwo !)

pairing: Dan Torrance x reader

warnings: language, nsfw content, smut, possessed Dan, some fluff sprinkled in throughout, 4k word count

notes: @obitwo and I are so excited to finally be able to share this with you all! This is my first time collaborating with another writer and it’s been such an honor to work with someone as talented as Claire! I wrote out the story/plot elements and Claire wrote out the smut sequence and together we made a piece we’re both very proud of. We sincerely hope you guys enjoy it!

summary: after narrowly escaping the clutches of the True Knot and the Overlook, Dan now has the chance to live a normal life with you at his side. But the hotel isn’t through with you just yet, and it’s up to you to satiate the hungry spirits.

It’s been exactly one month since the Overlook burned to the ground, and though the absence of Rose and the True Knot has made the world a much quieter place it definitely hasn’t rid your husband of the trials and tribulations that come with the shining. The ghosts of Dan’s past did not abate their torment despite having their home destroyed, and the task of locking them away in a box grew increasingly difficult with each new visitor. He was struggling, losing sleep, constantly worried about your safety as well as Abra’s, and despite how much you tried you weren’t sure how to help him. What could you possibly do to chase his monsters away?

It’s a tranquil evening in Frazier, leaves falling from the trees in the cool breeze outside as you get started on dinner for the night. You hope his mother’s old homemade chicken casserole recipe will be enough to provide some sense of comfort for your troubled husband. The Grady sisters had made a surprise appearance the night before and Dan was still recovering from the mental toll their visit had taken upon him; he had called in sick from work and stayed home for the day to nurse the splitting headache that had come with locking them away.

Tender kisses grace the skin of your shoulder as Dan wraps his arms around your waist and brings you into his chest. He’s exhausted, but he craves the solace your presence brings him and is willing to suffer through the ache at his temples if it means he gets to have you near. Your smile is a sight for sore eyes, and he takes pride in the fact that you are his wife.

“Feeling any better?” You muse whilst Dan presses a kiss to your cheek.

“No, but I’m not feeling any worse either so I guess that’s a good thing,” he chuckles softly. “What are you making?”

“Oh, well I know how much you loved your mom’s casserole as a kid so I thought I’d try and make it for you. Just a little something to raise your spirits a bit.”

A soft smile graces his features at your thoughtfulness, arms winding even tighter around your waist as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck.

“How’d a guy like me ever manage to end up with someone as wonderful as you?” He hums against your skin, prompting a cluster of butterflies to form in your stomach.

“Oh, stop,” you giggle, lightly pushing him away. “You’re distracting me, I have to make dinner. Can you hand me the measuring cup? The glass one please.”

Dan’s head begins to throb as he goes to the cupboard, yet he thinks nothing of it as he retrieves the glassware. But then the room begins to spin and your voice sounds so far away as you start to talk about your day. There’s a rumbling from the darkest corners of his mind as the boxes begin to rattle, panic settling deep in his bones as both the measuring cup and Dan go crashing onto the floor.

“Dan!” You gasp, quickly falling to your knees beside him and resting your hands upon his taut shoulders. “Danny, are you alright?!”

A whine escapes him as he shuts his eyes and grips tightly at your thighs in an attempt to ground himself, hoping to fight the spirits off long enough so he can lock the boxes up tight and throw away the key forever before the spirits have the chance to escape. But they’re coming, and he’s too weak to stop them now.

“I can’t,” Dan pants heavily, a groan tumbling past his lips as he doubles over on the ground. He can feel the ghosts suffocating him, his breaths growing shallow with each box that unlatches.

“Dan, look at me. Danny,” you plead desperately. You don’t know how to help him, you don’t know how to make it better, you don’t know how fix it, and the helplessness you feel leaves you feeling sick with worry.

“You have to... You have to run.”

“Danny...”

“Run!” He bellows, startling you into getting up off the floor and back onto your feet. Your vision is blurry with tears as you slowly begin to back away from your husband whose shoulders are heaving with every strangled grunt that leaves his lips.

“Danny,” you weep softly from your spot in the kitchen doorway. He told you to run, but how can you leave him when he’s in so much pain?

Your quiet sniffles are the only sound in the kitchen when he finally stills. Dan is bent over on his hands and knees in a way that prevents you from seeing his face, and you take a single cautious step forward.

“Dan?” You call gently. “Honey, a-are you alright?”

Your husband raises his head slowly to meet your gaze, smirking at the horrified look that flashes across your features at the sight of him.

“Hi sweetheart,” he grins, and the sight of his milky white eye is enough to send you bolting towards the bedroom.

You can hear his thundering footsteps following close behind you, all kinds of threats and warnings accompanying them, but you urge yourself to run faster. This isn’t Dan, you have to remind yourself, this isn’t Danny.

“Come here, little pup!” He coos hoarsely with false tenderness, but his demeanor changes in an instant the moment you slam the bedroom door shut and lock it from behind you. One of his fists slams on the wood while the other hand violently twists and turns the doorknob. The frustrated growl that leaves him sends chills down your spine as you slowly back away towards the far corner of the room, eyes never once leaving the door.

“Open the door, little girl,” Dan says gruffly. “Open the door and I won’t hurt you. Let me in and I’ll forget the whole god damn thing.”

“I-I can’t,” you whimper, frantically scanning the room for your phone. As guilty as it makes you feel to do so, you know you have to call Abra. She’s the only one who knows how to bring Dan back, and you can’t afford to lose him to the Overlook. You’d almost lost him once, and you’d be damned if you’d let them win this time. Another bang on the door has you in hysterics- where’s the phone?!

“Y/n, darling, light of my life, open the fucking door,” he warns lowly. One more good strike to the wood will break it down, but Dan is willing to give you one more chance to behave yourself, to be the good girl he knows you are.

“Danny, please!” you sob, and with your denial of his request he slams his whole body against the door so that it breaks off its hinges and comes crashing to the floor.

“There you are,” he leers maliciously from the doorway, shoulders hunched and hungry gaze settled upon your trembling form in the corner. He staggers forward slow and calculated like a predator stalking his prey. The tears that fall down your face make you look all the more appetizing, and the fear that radiates off of you is almost enough to feed the hungry spirits festering inside of him.

“Stay away,” you warn fruitlessly, “get away.”

“Is that any way to treat your husband?”

“You’re not my husband,” you avow emphatically in an attempt to put on a brave face despite how terrified you are. “I know what you are, and I know that you’re not really my Danny. You’re just... You’re just a false face.”

The man that stands before you ponders your profession with amusement before striking in an instant. Your wrist is grabbed swiftly in a tight grip, allowing him to raise your left hand in front of your face.

“What a pretty diamond on your finger,” he mocks before raising his own left hand. The golden wedding band on his ring finger glints in the light, his deriding gaze ticking back and forth between the jewelry. “Are these not a symbol of your undying devotion to me? Does this not mean that you are mine to have?”

You have no counterargument to give because he’s right; you had vowed to be there for Dan through sickness and in health, and this was a time of sickness. You were his wife, you had taken on the Torrance family name and promised to surpass any challenges that followed the title, so you’d just have to overcome whatever obstacle came next.

“What are you going to do to me?” You murmur, gaze nervously following the hand that slowly creeps up your chest and wraps itself around your neck. You can’t help the shivers that prickle at your spine as his hot breath fans against your skin, tongue darting out to lick an agonizingly slow stripe along the column of your throat.

“You’ve been very, very bad,” he says gruffly, “and now you’re going to take your medicine.”

Dan watches you, ultimately sinister as he rushes you towards the wall by the hand on your throat, slamming your back into it. He hungrily mouths at your neck, hands planted beside your head while his wet lips leave marks across your skin. He's eager, voice husky, breathing fervently across your shoulder. Hips jut into yours as Dan presses his hardness against you, trying to satiate himself with the sheer intensity of his movements. He growls at the contact, nothing short of animalistic.

“Are you going to hurt me?” You’re still apprehensive and afraid of what this twisted version of your lover could do, but there’s no denying the heat that rises off your cheeks and emanates from between your legs.

“Hurt you? Poor, pretty little thing, I’m not gonna hurt you.” He’s still rocking his hips against yours, friction between his jeans and your clothes. “Do as I say and you’ll have nothing to worry about.”

His dark and sensual stare does little to calm your nerves and you decide to give into him for your own sake. Hands lay upon your breasts, and Dan tilts his head back in satisfaction, groping and palming them.

“Touch me,” he croons and gasps when your hand reaches between his legs to palm his concealed length. He’s enjoying you, growing more and more primal with every passing moment. The sensation goads him and he forces his thigh between your own, harshly shoving it against your growing wetness. You pant as he further presses you into the wall, trying to rub yourself on his leg.

His thumb and forefinger catch your chin to tilt it upward, urging you to look at his blue eye and the ghostly white one.

“So desperate for me… and you were just trying to lock me out,” he mocks you, withdrawing his leg and letting your feet fully touch the floor again. In his trance, it’s what he wants; to feed off of the arousal, to release himself and be taken by his own desires. You want to fight it, but your involuntary whine betrays you.

Dan brings his face to yours, masculine features clouding your view.

“Do that again,” he snarls, hand returning to your throat and clamping down on it, earning himself another heavenly moan from your lips in return. He closes his eyes at the sound, leaning back and relishing in it, completely obsessed with having you at his mercy.

“Please, Dan,” you beg him for some type of relief to which he simpers cruelly. He needs to hear no more, bending down and wrapping his arms underneath you to toss you over his shoulder. Your arms dangle upside down, and you don’t bother to squirm. He walks purposefully towards the bed, hands gripping onto your ass before he lets you off, crashing on the mattress.

You huff at the drop, clearly appreciative of the manhandling. Dan is kneeling at the edge of the bed, yanking you towards him by your ankles and holding them firmly, his lips inches from your aching core.

All Dan is focused on is pleasure and power as he rips your clothes from your trembling body, careless of any tears he might have made. He sighs when he looks at you in your panties, a sight he usually compliments - but not now, he’s greedy, teeth grazing your hip to bite down on the fabric and pull it down your legs with the movement of his head. You feel yourself melting at the action, trying not to like this Dan too much - it’s not truly him, but the way he’s looking at you like he’s starving is entirely captivating, clouding you from your common sense.

He keeps his eyes on yours as he advances his mouth closer, then letting his gaze follow the curve of your thighs, spreading them neatly for his tongue and admiring them. He adorns them with harsh kisses, sucking to leave bruises on them, pleased with himself for marking you as his. His trail leads up to your wetness and he swipes a finger up your folds, gathering some of it and pressing it to his tongue. He likes the taste.

“Filthy girl.”

It’s then that his arms hook under your thighs to lock them over his shoulders. You’re unable to move, caught in him, and he knows that he’s going to torture you.

A slow lick up your clit sends you trembling at which Dan groans, vibrations coursing through your body. He’s deliberately tentative, providing unhurried laps at your clit, waiting for you to break. After several tormenting moments, Dan is kind enough to give you a full circle of his tongue, and you writhe under his clutch, legs begging for freedom and hips rising against his face. It’s enough for him.

“Sit. Still.” He’s ordering you now, and you know better than to be a brat and do it intentionally.

His stubble meets your soft skin in a rush, his tongue swiping madly at your clit and you’re back to trembling pathetically. He’s fulfilled with your response, his sexual prowess sending moans from your throat that fill the room with urgency. An arm releases one of your legs to let a finger prod at your entrance, under the tongue that flits across you. It dips in teasingly, merely deep as his first knuckle and you take the opportunity to squeeze his head with your free leg.

At your sudden defiance by not sitting still, he reaches up to run a palm across your naked breast which makes you falter. His hand stays there, massaging as he continues to eat you out with exhilarating competence.

“Dan…” You choke, fingers tangling in his hair and tugging it to release the rising tension of your body. He snaps at the pulling, evidently stimulated by it. Making no mistake, he consciously groans into you again, except it’s primal and electrifying, making you yelp.

“Good… Keep making those pretty noises or I won’t be so generous,” Dan nearly barks at you, mean, his voice hoarse and drunk on his urges. Finally letting his finger slide all the way in, he withdraws it at the same speed, pumping it and drowning in the sounds that you make for him.

The tension continues to rise, your body shaking violently. Dan knows what he’s doing; just enough to keep you teetering on the edge. You know he’s saving it.

“More,” you whisper boldly, weak from his delightful touch.

“Do you deserve more?” He moves his face away, but adds a finger to the first one, roughly thrusting them both in and out of you and biting his lip. He sneers, “I’ll decide what you get.”

You pause simply to keep shuddering, unable to speak with the sensation of his fingers hitting the right spot. He stops and leaves you a blubbering mess of moans and whimpers, leading Dan to decide on your next sentence for locking him out.

He rises, looming over you supported by his hands, hair falling handsomely. Your own hair is gathered from beneath you into a ponytail and yanked down to give him plenty of access to your neck, biting down softly into the juncture of it and your shoulder. Your legs instinctively wrap around him, trying to keep him touching you.

“So impatient.” His lips graze your ear and he nips at the lobe. “Get over my knee.” Dan disembarks from you, sitting tall and spreading his knees apart on the edge of the mattress, feet set firmly on the floor.

You mistakenly hesitate for a moment and find a rough hand pulling your hair again, and an expression on his face that warns you I won’t ask again.

Pitifully crawling over, you splay your body over his knees, your stomach against one of his thighs and your ass right where he can hurt it.

Dan briefly lounges with you on his lap, his weight leaned back onto his palms, admiring the beauty before him. His hand travels up the back of your thighs, crossing up to your waist, dipping under to feel up your chest. He smirks wickedly, raising his hand up into the air and sending it crashing down to give a sharp and loud slap to your ass.

A high moan leaves your throat and he repeats the action, faster than the first time, little pieces of hair slipping into his face from the power he’s exerting. You feel it deep within you, the painful but delicious sensations of his calloused hands roughing you up, slapping you hard as all hell.

“Don’t you go locking me out again, pup. You got that?”

“Mhmm!” You groan frantically, waiting to feel his red-hot palms strike you again. They don’t.

He instead reaches under to grab your windpipe, lazily turning you over and getting you to straddle him.

“Words.” He has no tolerance left.

“I got it.” You blurt out quickly as you can, not trusting yourself to carry a sentence any longer than that.

Dan guides your hips to grind you against his hard length, back and forth. Your head tilts with the movements, idly lolling. Another quiet noise and Dan can’t take it anymore. He’s finishes with his teasing of you; he needs to unleash.

He assumes his full, intrinsic and feral state, pushing you back onto the bed, and you rebound with force. He keeps you down, wrists pinned above your head and his lips are searching your entire body, biting, sucking, bruising - hungry for anything he can get. You don’t dare move, knowing he wants your full compliance.

His jeans are long gone, underwear too, forgotten somewhere on the floor. His skin feels smooth but hot against you, a gorgeous and soft feeling when his chest collides with yours. Strong arms are positioned on either side of your body, Dan lining himself up with your entrance. Your raising hips cause him to prod, whining as the head of his cock teases you.

“Does my dirty girl want my cock?” He gives a low groan to your ear and you’re losing yourself in him. The word “yes” is hardly loud enough, an inaudible whisper.

This time he doesn’t care for precision to your obedience. He doesn’t ask for a clearer answer, content with your submission to him.

He steadily presses himself into you the rest of the way, guttural moans seeping through his mouth that latches on to yours. Your thighs squeeze him closer and he stays a moment, fully immersed and gasping.

“So. Fucking. Tight.” The words almost can’t make it out of him and he leisurely pulls back, re-entering you with full, lusty force. You cry out his name and he basks in it, pumping himself faster, reaching so deep inside you that you can feel it reaching your stomach, your body quivering with the stimulation.

“Oh… Dan!” Tears are forming in the corners of your eyes with the sheer strength of him, and a thumb reaches to rub tight circles on your clit that still glistens with the wetness of his tongue. His mouth is agape, bottom lip curling onto his teeth from the pure effort he’s giving, and effort is about the only thing he’s giving. Otherwise, all he knows is to take.

Your jaw is swiftly and skillfully pried open, and Dan, possessed and sickeningly tempting, spits into your mouth, no regard left in him. It’s something he’s never done, especially not when he’s your proper Dan, and you like it. You swallow firmly and draw him in.

His head falls into your shoulder, biting it at the pleasure you’re giving him. You sigh, spent, and he bites again. He doesn’t flounder, maintaining steady and thrilling strokes that make your body stiffen and shake. Dan’s hankering grows and he plunges in a last time, reveling inside you before flipping you onto your elbows and knees and taking you immediately back onto his cock. His hands grace the curve of your hips to push and pull you over his length, and he yells out in his rapture.

His fingers trail up your back to wrap around the back of your neck, bringing your back flush to his chest, ruining you from behind. You sit atop his thighs as he stretches you out so good and not a single coherent thought passes through your mind. Thin sheets of sweat are the only thing between you.

His repeated hitting into the right spot has you wailing, your hands covering his own as he’s surely sending you over. Tingles sweep through your limbs and you come undone around him, clenching him harder and getting his cock all the more wet, trying to fall forward onto the bed and catch your breath. You’re given no such freedom, and he continues pounding into you, whispering dirty things into your ears as your orgasm is drawn out impossibly long.

“Nasty thing, you’re gonna make me cum.”

And so he does, warm inside you and it starts to leak out with his last excessive thrusts. He keeps you to his chest, panting, but his grip loosens ever so slightly.

A dull blissfulness clouds your senses and hazes your surroundings, eyes fluttering shut in an attempt to savor the warmth you’ve been encompassed in. The experience was new and terrifying, but it had satiated a craving deep within you that you hadn’t even been aware of in the first place. From behind you, Dan pulls out of you with a deep groan and allows his head to fall against your shoulder.

“Danny?” You call hesitantly, unsure as to which Dan you’re speaking to. It’s silent for what feels like a long time before he speaks again.

“Y/n?”

“Oh, honey,” you sigh in relief before shifting in bed to face him. He looks absolutely spent, but the white film over his eye is gone and with it the spirits of the Overlook.

“What happened?” Dan asks tiredly, eyes widening at the various marks that little your body. “D-Did I do that?”

“Technically, yes. But um, you had a little help,” you explain meekly. “They came back.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he’s quick to apologize, the hands that had just choked and spanked you not too long ago now coming to rub soothing circles into your bruises. A content sigh leaves your lips at the feeling.

“Don’t apologize. I umm.. I was able to handle it.”

“Did... Did you like it?”

“Honestly? Yeah,” you nod with a sheepish smile. “You were terrifying, but you were also really, really good. I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“I’m happy to hear that?” Dan says questioningly, prompting both of you to laugh. He smiles then, adoringly and full of love. “Oh, my brave, sweet girl.”

“I love you,” you sigh happily, taking his face in your hands and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. “In sickness and in health.”

“In sickness and in health,” he repeats with a gentle smile, wrapping his arms around your waist before pulling you into another passionate kiss.

[imonthinice]

are you taking requests? if so can you pls use the line "is there a problem here, gentlemen?" in a story?

BONUS STORY! 2ND UPLOAD OF THE DAY?? CRAZY. (if there is a second upload it’ll be at 6pm EST)

Author's Note: You fucking bet your bottom dollar that I'm going to do that.

Y/N - Your name

Batfam + batsis story. Y/N is the newest daughter of Bruce Wayne and is following in everyone’s footsteps as the youngest, in years of service, vigilante of the crew. They hold a gala with villains.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: LMAo Angst whoops, no spoilers but injury and description of injury, Swearing, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd amen

One-Shot. Not in the Criminal Psychology Majors Continuity.

Y/N packed up her knives into her thigh holsters, apparently, Bruce thought it was a good idea to hold a gala with the known villains of the world. And the kids had to handle it if it got out of hand, Why the fuck are we doing this, She thought, This is a stupid idea.

"Kids, I know you all think this is stupid-" Bruce tried to say before he was cut off.

"You could fucking say that again." Jason snapped at him.

"Kids, I know you all think this is stupid." Y/N mocked Bruce.

"Okay, okay, I get it. It’s a dumb idea.”

“Again, no fucking shit, Sherlock Holmes,” Tim said.

“You guys really don’t need to gang up on me like this,” Bruce tried to say.

“Gang up on you?! You’re the one all like ‘Hey kids! We’re going to do a gala with villains hehe! I hope u don’t mind xoxo.’ Shut the fuck up, Bruce,” Y/N snapped.

“Do you even want to go with that attitude?”

“No! I think that’s pretty fucking obvious!” she snapped again as she went to go grab one of her guns, but Bruce grabbed her arms.

“No. Guns,” he said, trying to be stern with her.

“No. Villains. In. The. House. Oh wait. You’re an idiot, I forgot, silly me,” she mocked before struggling out of his grasp and grabbed her guns and holstered them, one on each side, ambidextrous shooter because she had learned from Jason, quick with knifes and throwing them as well.

“Y/N, there’s no need to be so violent with me,” Bruce tried to say to get her to calm down.

“You just better hope none of those villains make a fucking move, Bruce.”

--------------------------------------

At the party, she wore combat boots and a cat suit under her dress, just so she could slip it off and go into action just as quickly. Her vigilante name was Syndicate, because when she named herself she thought she had the same values as Bruce and his kids. After time progressed, she realized that she was a lot more like Jason than she cared to admit.

They both carried guns into that party like no one was watching and telling them not to. They didn’t trust the villains in their house in any capacity, and that was obvious from both of their outbursts earlier in the day. They were the outliers in the batfam. The ones who did agree with some of what they were shown, but guns and death were necessary sometimes. She and Jason were the true Syndicate.

It was a masquerade ball, so everyone’s faces were hidden, but Jason had his white hair streak, so she knew where to go to talk about the gala and what they would do if the villains attacked the rest of them, and she did so.

Walking over to Jason, she could feel the eyes of many men around her, not everyone recognized her as the newest daughter of Bruce Wayne, so eyes were hungry and they wanted to dance the night away with the temptress. She thought that dating was idiotic, though. And especially if it was a villain trying to sweep her off of her feet.

“May I have this dance, milady?” Jason asked.

“Yes,” she said while accepting his outstretched hand and they went to twirl around the dance floor when she leaned into his ear, “I don’t trust these fucks, Jason,” she whispered.

“Who the fuck does trust it,” he whispered back.

“We need to be on our toes.”

“You’re already on your toes, dancing with me,” he joked.

“You’re the worst, Jason. I mean it.”

“When do you not. But I’m your favourite brother and you know it,” he said as he dipped her.

“While that may be true,” she stopped when she caught some of the people leaving to the backdoor, “We have an issue,” she whispered and pointed towards the people leaving.

“Son of a bitch.” 

And they were off as fast as they could without drawing suspicion.

----------------------------

“Is there a problem here, Gentlemen?” Jason asked when they met up with the people trying to snoop, they assumed.

“Yes, there is,” one of the mystery men said as he pulled a gun and pointed it at Jason, “And it’s you, son.”

“Cute! He even brought his little girlfriend with him!” one of the other men exclaimed as he snooped closer towards Y/N and pulled a gun on her too.

“Festive, truly, you three are,” she said, staring down the barrel of the gun.

“Shut it, girl,” the second man commanded.

“No thanks,” she said as she grabbed the barrel of the gun and struggled it out of her face, it misfired and hit a few different areas of the wall behind her, at the same time, Jason had managed to get the gun out of his attacker’s hands and was pointing it back at him.

She continued to one-hand hold the gun while she tried to find the handle of one of her knives. She managed to grab it and fling it into the shoulder of the third, not speaking, man’s shirt and pin him to the wall. The struggle for the gun was still on though, but she was able to get her other hand onto the gun when it fired off.

 Jason was busy attacking the other two men to notice that Y/N had been shot in the shoulder, and too busy to realize that the party had been evacuated and Bruce was up his ass in texts asking where he and Y/N were.

Y/N slumped to the ground, clutching her wound when the man turned his gun on Jason, she used her boots to her advantage and kicked the man to the floor as hard as she could. Jason ended up being able to tie the three men to each other within 10 minutes, while Y/N was bleeding out on the floor, he didn’t notice she was shot till she was clutching on for her life.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” he whispered as he tried to lug her off the ground and run to the front entrance, where he could hear the ambulances going off. When she whispered to him, “I’m...” she breathed, “Sorry...” she breathed again, “Jay,” she didn’t breathe again.

He sat there in shock,, clutching his dead sister’s body in his arms and making no noise when the paramedics rushed in and saw the damage. The called in for the coroner, and went to get Jason off of her.

---------------------------------

In the police station, they told Jason that they just needed him to explain his story, even though they had the footage. Bruce was pressing charges against the men, later to be Harvey Dent and two of his accomplices, for the death of his daughter.

Bruce had not seen his son since the incident, but things were moving quickly and he would get to see him again when the police finished their interviews. But Jason was struggling to get his words out, so they let Bruce go see his son and try to comfort him.

“Jay?” Bruce asked, trying to see if Jason would even look at him, he didn’t, so Bruce went and just hugged his son while he cried into his dad’s shoulder, “I know, son. You did your best.”

---------------------------------------

The funeral for Y/N involved a lot of crying from every batfam member. Even Damien, who struggled to show Y/N a lot of love, cried like no one was watching at his big sister’s grave. He actually laid beside her grave once she was buried for a while as everyone was telling stories about her. Dick found him and picked him up to take him inside. 

No one held resentment for Jason and him not noticing, they all saw the tapes, she didn’t make a damn noise until she was dying in his arms. Stubborn bitch, Jason had joked and everyone had laughed. They could at least remember Y/N for who she was before she died.

------------------------------

The trial was long and winded. Harvey, thank god, confessed in his interigation so he pled guilty to being an accessory to murder. However, both of his accomplices, even the man who shot her, pled not guilty to all charges. So the trial was hard.

Jason testified in court about how he thought she’d be okay, she could carry her own, but the gun shots were so loud and he very easily shot her. Then his lawyer started saying it was self defense.

The rest of the trial started to blur for all of them. But all of them were found guilty for the murder.

The victim’s statement to determined the death penalty was said by Bruce.

“Your Honor, these men took away my daughter. And I honestly don’t want them to get the death penalty. I want them to rot away in a prison. The poor girl was only 19, I want them to spend at least 20 years behind bars, sitting there, knowing they killed my baby girl,” he paused to wipe a tear, “I wish we weren’t here and she got to grow up and have kids. She’ll never know her nieces and nephews, the people her siblings marry, or even get married,” he paused again.

“I want my daughter back, but we’ll never get that. So, Your Honor, I ask for you to not give mercy for these men, Your Honor. Thank you.”

The men got life in prison without the possibility of parole.

----------------------------

Damien actually took his partner to meet his big sister first, before explaining the story to them. He still finds it hard to talk about how she died.

Tim goes to her grave a lot and tells her stories about his life and how he’s doing without her. He always leaves telling her that he loves her.

Barbara visits often as well. Just to talk to her. She says a lot about the missions they go on without her and how the team isn’t complete anymore, and how she worries Jason will never recover from this event.

Cassie doesn’t go often, the memories of Y/N are enough for her most of the time, but she goes every holiday and on Y/N’s birthday just to greet her and say that she loves her.

Steph seems to still have trouble accepting the fact that Y/N is gone. Maybe it's because they fought the night before and it would have been resolved so easily had she not died. It hurts everyone to see Steph talk about it.

Dick will sit at her grave for hours, he’s the one to clean her grave when it gets dirty. He doesn’t always talk to her, but when he does he asks her if she’s met his parents and if they’re proud of him. He’ll probably never know the answer to it, but he likes to think the wind that hits him after that is Y/N saying that she loves him and that his parents ar proud of him.

Jason doesn’t go to her grave on the day she died. He refuses to admit that she died in his arms, so he doesn’t go on the anniversary of her death. He bottles himself up in his room and cries. He has nightmares about her death.

Bruce wishes he could have done more, but when the trial ended he went to her grave and told her about it. He actually laid her to rest by his parents so that she could be near her grandparents. 

Alfred misses her but knows that he couldn’t have done anything, but he leaves nothing in front of the doors and windows so she can enter if ghosts are real.