#he got depressed and said he was gonna kill himself and i said good and gave him a thumbs up and he immediately started screaming it was

[gudakko]

OH i just remembered a cute dream I had this morning

[livbedum]

stop staring at me

maybank!reader x rafe cameron

summary after rafe almost killed your brother , you had some choice words to say to him and later that night to kie

warnings season four spoilers , profanity , reader pushes rafe and snaps on kie , illusions to depression

it was that time of the year for the enduro to take place , which meant jj was entering himself , and most likely betting on himself too. the enduro was a huge bike race. there was only rule : race to the old buoy and back. jj was confident in himself this year , telling you to get a good spot to see him win. so , that’s what you did.

you stood at the finish line with sarah , kie , and pope , watching your brother talk to john b before the race. just as cleo finished up her work , rafe rolled up beside them. “great , my brother’s here,” sarah groaned , lips curling in disgust.

from the distance , you could still tell rafe was looking at you. his eyes were squinted due to the sun beating down on everyone , but you couldn’t read his mind anymore. you didn’t know what he was staring at you for. especially when he lost the right to stare at you such a long time ago. you had heard the rumors that he was dating sofia — you knew her , worked with her at the club. he didn’t have the right anymore.

“if he fucks with jj at all this race , i will personally take on the task of killing him,” you announced , crossing your arms and glaring at him until he looked away. john b jogged up to you guys , grabbing his jacket and sarah before walking away.

“what do you think that’s about?” pope wondered , eyes following your friends.

you shrugged , muttering you’ll be back before heading to jj. in your path was rafe. it almost looked like he was walking toward you , so you moved to the side and pushed him with your hand when you crossed paths. “asshole,” you cough. you hated hating him , but right now you were more worried about jj. “i don’t know what you’re up to , little brother , but do not be stupid. please?” you started blunt when you reached jj and his bike.

“i’m not up to anything that’s going to end up doing us more harm than good. promise,” jj assured you , squeezing your hand, “trust me that i’ve got this.”

so badly , you wanted to. you wanted to believe that this was jj’s year to win , but you knew rafe inside and out. you knew how dirty he was always willing to get. “just be careful. i don’t want to pick up jj guts if you crash , ‘kay? you know rafe and topper are gonna wanna—“

“y/n! i said i’ve got this. jb is gonna ride with me. chill,” jj interrupted you, “go back to the group. i’ll see you when i cross the finish line.”

you rolled your eyes before deciding he was right. “love you , dork,” you smiled , knocking on the front of his bike before heading back to your friends. you hear jj shouting he loved you back in response. sarah intercepted you before you made it all the way back to your spot.

“what you and jj talk about?” she questioned , watching her boyfriend over your shoulder, “did you know?”

“know what? what are you talking about?” you rambled , swatting her hands off of you in confusion.

sarah looked over both her shoulders like she was paranoid someone was listening. “john b just told me that jj bet the last nugget on himself,” she whispered , getting closer to you so her words wouldn’t slip out into the loose air.

“are you kidding me?”

you were anxiously waiting alongside your friends for the race to end. you hadn’t seen jj since his rocky start to the race. the most intel you had was what the announcers were giving you. and it wasn’t sounding good. that’s when he decided to change courses , taking a near fifty foot jump to potentially cut in front of rafe and get into first place.

“i’m going to throw up,” you groaned , holding your stomach and covering your mouth. you squinted you eyes , not having the courage to look at it head on as you see jj flying through the air on his bike. your eyes clamped shut , waiting for everyone to cheer or ooh. whichever one happened , you knew you’d have to wait until everyone was done either the race to do something , and that’s what killed you.

sarah grabbed your shoulders and shook you as she jumped up and down , screaming, “he made it! oh , my god! he made it!” your eyes shot open seeing jj land upright , which was enough for you.

you and your friends , the crowd too even , went crazy , cheering jj on as he was so close to finishing with rafe right behind him to see it. “oh , my god,” you flinched , seeing what rafe was about to do before everyone else, “i’m going to kill him.” rafe was always competitive , and he was very serious about the enduro. the fact that he was racing jj just pushed him harder. he was swerving , trying to get jj to wipe out right in front of him , fighting for first place.

“they’re going to crash,” sarah predicted , holding your hand in hers tightly. it was like her words triggered the action , like her saying it sealed the deal.

their bikes collided , sending both jj and rafe flying over their bikes and into the sand. it took everything in you to not run onto the track and check on your brother , not seeing him move immediately. sarah anchored you in your spot , not letting you jump into action. topper was coming up in third , now first ; john b was right behind him. of course , it got worse.

john b was headed right for jj , and topper was going to win. you completely turned away this time , not wanting to see john b hit jj with his bike. you didn’t hear any collision , only cheering and the announcer shouting about topper’s first place win. “guys!” sarah shouted , dropping your hand and running out to the boys as soon as the last biker crossed the finish line. you followed her out but headed for rafe instead.

“are you fucking kidding me?” you yelled , shoving him back down into the sand as he was getting up with all of your force, “you almost killed my brother! and yourself! you idiot! do you think at all?” your voice was loud , louder than you had ever used with rafe before. the anger in your eyes was new too.

rafe pushed himself up off the ground and dusted off his clothes before glaring down at you. “what do you care?” he sneered, “your brother’s fine. i just made sure he didn’t win ; heard he bet something real valuable on himself. spending money like a pogue.” with that , rafe turned , wanting to walk away before the argument escalated like he knew it would. it always did.

“asshole!” you yelled , shoving at his back to successfully make him face you again, “stop taking your shit out on us! stop staring at me all of the time! just stop!” you continued to shove at his chest until he grabbed your wrists to stop you. he had noticed the people starting to stare at you two before letting you go , and you felt someone’s finger hook on your belt loop ; like they were ready to pull you back in case rafe did something. your guess was kie. it was always kie who did that.

“knock it off , y/n. i’m not doing this shit here,” rafe groaned , wiping his hand down his face in frustration just as sofia walked up to him.

she spoke softly , eyes not even taking a moment to look at you. she was focused on rafe. “everything okay over here?”

“rafe doesn’t need you to back him up right now , sofia. he’s a grown man,” you barked , getting her to snap her neck in your direction.

“no , i don’t,” rafe agreed, “and i don’t need to argue with you anymore. seriously , y/n , this is ridiculous! the race is over! your brother lost , and that means you lose. it’s over,” he finished , grabbing sofia’s hand and walking away from you , hot and angry tears rolling down your cheeks.

“you okay , bubs?” jj asked you as stepped in front of you , grabbing your face in his hands. his eyes scanned yours , but he couldn’t find anything behind them. he followed your gaze , turning over his shoulder. he found himself watching rafe and sofia making out by his truck , so he quickly looked away. “y/n?”

“you have something to tell me?” you questioned , blinking hard once as you focused on what was important in the moment, “hmm?” you huffed , quickly wiping at the tear and running a hand through your hair as you came back to reality. you already knew , but jj needed to tell you himself as well.

“fuck,” jj cursed , looking down at his feet in the sand. it was bad. “let’s go talk,” he suggested , pulling you by your arm away from everyone else down the beach. you stopped after you got far enough , crossing your arms and looking at jj for some sort of answer. “i — i , uh , i bet the last nug,” he confessed , still not looking at you. he didn’t want to see the way your face dropped, “fuck!” he yelled , throwing his helmet onto the sand in frustration. his hands covered his face before he plopped to the ground.

“fuck is right,” you replied simply after taking a deep breath so you didn’t lose it on him too. you moved and took a seat next to him , wrapping your arm over his shoulder. “you did good today , jacky,” you reassured him , kissing his temple, “we’ll figure it out.”

it was later that night , and you found yourself swinging on the bench that hung on the porch. after the race , everyone started flipping out about the money. you ended up agreeing on the next course of action. that left you all to your own devices , and you desperately needed to be away from everyone.

“hey , i’ve been looking for ya.” kie’s sweet voice brought you back from your swirling thoughts, “you look lonely,” she added softer , taking a seat next to you.

“i’m not lonely,” you brushed her off , crossing your arms and scooting away ever so slightly, “i don’t need a babysitter right now either , kie. i know everyone’s talking about me— about me yelling at rafe earlier ; i can see the looks you’re giving me.” you thought back to how worried jj looked when he first saw you after the race , and it killed you to know you were the reason for the wrinkles in his face. “i’m fine.”

kie let out a slow , deep breath and nodded. “okay , well , no one in the history of ever that’s said that was fine , so i’m gonna ask you a question , and i want you to answer it honestly because i’m not here to judge you. i’m your best friend ; i’m here to help you,” she leaned forward , trying to catch your eye before she accused you of anything, “what happened between you and rafe?”

your eyes betrayed you , flashing with hurt as you looked at her. “nothing.”

“y/n/n , c’mon. you can tell me everything. i heard you guys arguing at singh’s ; i heard what he said today — heard what you said,” she tried again, “i know you. i know something is wrong. i know something has been wrong. i wanna help.” kie hadn’t brought any of her worries up to anyone yet.

you took a deep breath before shifting and facing her. “do you see me asking you what happened between you and rafe , kie?” you wondered aloud, “because i’m not. it’s not polite,” you added , grabbing her hands in your, “i know you. i know rafe way more than than i’d like , and i know something happened with you guys during your little kook year , but i’m not asking you. it’s not my business.”

“y/n—“

“no , kie!” you cut her off, “i choose not to talk about this thing i have going on , okay? it’s not because i don’t love and trust you. it’s because it’s over! it doesn’t matter anymore. and— and i can’t talk about this specific thing with the people i want to most. it’s killing me ; it really is , but i’m fine.” kie didn’t say anything in response. she just looked at you with her jaw slack. “i love you. i’m going to bed.”

and with that you went inside and tried to sleep , wanting nothing more than for this day to end , wanting nothing more than to be able to start dreaming and see rafe like you used to.

taglist @maybankslover @annatartastic @maroonz @ravenmedows @yootvi @icaqttt

[pedrointofolklore]

This is me trying

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: joel hated you. he hated the risks you took, the danger you put yourself in, the total lack of value you had for your own life. he hated how much he worried about you. click here for part two.

warnings: detailed depictions of depression, heavily implied suicidal ideation, slight violence, angst with a sprinkle of fluff, no explicit smut but it does get very suggestive (minors do not interact), minor character death, enemies to lovers, poor communication, misunderstandings, these fools don’t know how to act, joel is an asshole but then he’s sweet, brief mention of drug use, lots of swearing, age gap (unspecified), no use of y/n, boston era/ellie era.

word count: 2.6k

a/n: hey y’all. i just wanted to thank everyone who supported my last story rosebud (here’s a link if you want to read it). this story is a lot different and a lot sadder. i got the title from my favourite pop girlie taylor alison swift.

Joel hated you. It had to be his worst kept secret.

You hadn’t done anything to him. You used to think about it constantly, desperate to know what his reason was for despising you like he did, but you eventually accepted that he didn’t need a reason. He just didn’t like you. 

Joel wasn’t particularly likeable himself. He was rude and intimidating and one of the most morally bankrupt people you’d ever met, but you didn’t hate him the way he hated you. You were Tess’s lackey—Joel tolerated you, and you supposed he wasn’t obligated to do any more than that. Although, he didn’t do it very well.

You’d existed in each other’s orbit in the QZ for a while, and finally met one night in the boarded-up old mall when you’d gotten to a stash of painkillers just before them. Joel wouldn’t have hesitated to shoot you between the eyes if Tess hadn’t been there.

Tess saw something in you—not a friend, not a life worth sparing by virtue of humanity; a business investment.

And it was a smart investment. You were young, agile and clever, incredible at slipping by unnoticed and gathering information. You knew all the best routes, the best times to take them, and you could swindle anyone out of their rations just by batting your eyelashes. You were willing to take the lead, to be the first one in and out to make sure the coast was clear.

It wasn’t the threat of death or the promise of mercy that made you join them—it was the sense of purpose it gave you.

Joel was adamantly against it. Things worked fine the way they did them, and he saw no reason to add another person into it.

“Don’t need to fix something that ain’t broken,” was how he’d put it.

You didn’t dispute that. Joel and Tess had survived for years, and they were clearly more than capable of getting the job done, but what you lacked in experience, you made up for in stealth and speed—something their aging knees struggled with.

Tess convinced Joel, which you soon found out she was very good at. You also found out that his compliance didn’t mean hiding his resentment.

He thought you were a careless, impulsive loose cannon, and he’d told you so after a particularly dicey deal with a particularly dicey FEDRA agent.

“You’re gonna get yourself killed one of these days.” He followed you into your apartment uninvited. Tess made him walk you home, and you were sure he only did it because he wanted to berate you.

“Why do you care?” you asked, tossing your keys onto the counter. They slid off and hit the floor.

“You’re with us,” Joel replied. “You'll get us killed.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes—you knew that infuriated him. “Am I on crack or have you not doubled your profits since I showed up?”

“I think you’re dangerous,” Joel said, ignoring you. “Always sneakin’ around, goin’ places you shouldn’t, playin’ mind games with FEDRA. Your luck’s gonna run out sooner or later, and I just hope I’m not around when it does.”

Your face burned with red-hot anger as you tried to fight the stinging in your eyes and the blurring of your vision, but you were too far gone. The tears fell, and they were ceaseless. You felt pathetic, but you knew this would happen. You didn’t often cry from sadness or pain, but anger always managed to bring it out in you.

“Who the fuck are you to tell me that?” you hissed. “You’re saying you don’t sneak around? You’ve never scammed anyone? You’re a smuggler, Joel! Be fucking real with me.”

“It’s different,” he said, clenching his jaw.

“Why, because you’re older? Because you have more experience?”

“‘Cause I don’t think I’m fuckin’ special.”

If his words were the dagger, the pure contempt in his tone was what plunged it into your stomach, twisted it, and left a gaping hole for all of your despair to come pouring out of, leaving behind a puddle of melancholia for him to gaze at in all its miserable glory.

It was the only time you might have hated Joel as much as he hated you. Working with him and Tess wasn’t perfect, but it was all you had, and now he’d managed to make it all meaningless. Your help wasn’t helping.

“Fuck you, Joel,” you spat.

You should have quit then, and you thought about it. After pounding your fists into Joel’s chest and screaming at him to get the fuck out of your apartment, you sunk down onto the floor and cried. You cried until you ran out of tears and were left with a nothing but a throbbing headache. You took a pill, passed out, and woke up to you discover that you’d lost the energy to really care about any of it.

You didn’t quit. If anything, you became even more audacious, but you never confused it with courage or bravery. Bravery was perseverance in the face of terror. Joel and Tess were brave. You weren’t like them.

Joel laid off after that. He wasn’t anything close to nice, but whatever animosity he held towards you was only ever expressed as quiet seething, and you could live with that.

Any fulfilment you got out of working with Joel and Tess dissolved, but for what it was, it still worked.

Until it didn’t.

Tess was dead. The buffer between you and Joel was gone, and you had no choice but to work together and get the immune girl to Wyoming.

You wondered if there was a silver-lining in this wreckage. You thought that circumstance might force Joel to finally get along with you, and so you did the one thing you never did—you tried. You tried to help him, tried to speak to him like he was someone you actually wanted to speak to, tried to rein in some of your more annoying traits so you wouldn’t get on his nerves.

None of it worked. All you could get out of Joel seemed to be irritated mumbles and blank stares, and you couldn’t even blame him after what happened to Tess.

You never really knew if Tess actually gave a shit about you, or if she only ever cared about having an extra pair of hands around. Either way, you cared about her.

So, once again, you tried. When Joel and Ellie were sleeping—or at least pretending to—you walked down to the stream and tried to cry for her, but you couldn’t muster the tears. You even tried to get angry, mentally cuss her out for leaving you behind, but your eyes were dry.

You stared into the water, gazing at the way it sparkled in the starlight, and thought that the world didn’t deserve such a pretty sight. You couldn’t cry, but a deep sadness overtook you, weighing you down like lead.

Joel didn’t hate you.

He just hated how impulsive and reckless you were. He hated that you were smart, intuitive, and so maddeningly beautiful. He hated the risks you took, the danger you put yourself in, the total lack of value you had for your own life. He hated how much he worried about you.

There was a time he had disliked you. He used to think it was arrogance—that you truly believed you were so special that you could get away with anything. It was when he called you out on it that he realised how wrong he was.

Your reaction was frightening. You cried and screamed at him, pushed him out of your space. He didn’t know you were capable of such a strong display of emotion, but he’d struck a nerve, and those were the repercussions.

He recalled how the blows to his chest didn’t hurt, like there was no force behind them. You weren’t weak at all, you just couldn’t find the willpower to really hurt him. He wished you had hurt him. Maybe getting it out of your system would have helped. Maybe he wouldn’t have had to feel so guilty.

It became so obvious to him what was happening, and he felt like an idiot for not understanding it sooner. It wasn’t that you thought you were special, or immune to the consequences—you just didn’t care what happened to you.

Now Tess was gone, and he had this horrible feeling that he was going to lose you too.

His way of dealing with it was to push you away even more. He told himself it would make things easier when you inevitably left him.

Things came to a head one night after the three of you left Lincoln. Joel had been driving all day, and he would be doing it again the next day. He was in desperate need of sleep, but as he stared out into the eerie darkness of the woods, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something terrible would happen if he didn’t stay awake.

He heard the rustling of a sleeping bag sometime after midnight. He thought it was you just rolling over in your sleep—something you often did—but then he heard the faint sound of dead leaves crunching under feet, and you were by his side a moment later.

“What are you doing, Joel?” you asked in a soft, sleepy voice that made his chest ache.

“Keepin’ watch,” he replied bluntly.

“But you’re driving tomorrow,” you said. “You need sleep.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’ve slept, so I can take over,” you offered.

“I just told you I’m fine.”

“I’m just trying to help—”

“I don’t need your fucking help.”

You backed off, hanging your head in shame, and he instantly felt horrible—you were being nice to him and he was still being a complete asshole.

Joel tried to tear his gaze away from you. He wanted to pretend this wasn’t happening, that he hadn’t just done that, but his eyes stayed on you. He watched the shame dissolve and replace itself with indignation. You pulled your head up and glared at him with a fire in your eyes that threatened to burn right through him.

“I get it, okay? I’m sorry.”

“What are you talkin’ about?”

“I never meant for you to get stuck with me. I know it’s your worst fucking nightmare. If I could switch places with Tess—“

“Stop.” He wouldn’t hear that. He couldn’t. It would kill him. “That’s not—I’m not thinkin’ that. I’m glad you’re here, understand? I need you with me.”

You let out a bitter laugh. The sound hit his ears like a gunshot. “You just told me you didn’t. All you’ve done—all you’ve ever done—is act like I’m a fucking waste of space.”

Joel’s mouth when dry, his heart dropped to his stomach, and he thought he might vomit. It shouldn’t have shocked him like it did, but hearing you say it made him sick. He put the gun he’d been clutching down on the ground, disarming himself in more ways than one. “I don’t think that…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just—fuck—I don’t know. I don’t know anything. Are you gonna leave?”

“Leave this mission or this mortal coil?"

“Either, I guess.”

“Do you want me to leave?” Your voice was just a whisper, and it felt like you were ripping Joel’s heart out and crushing it in your hands.

Fuck no, he didn’t want you to leave, and that was what scared him the most; feeling attached to someone so detached (and yes, he was a hypocrite). He wouldn’t be able to take it if he woke up one day and you were gone.

But he couldn’t keep doing this to you. It was selfish and cowardly and it just made everything worse. He made everything worse.

“I can’t do this without you,” he told you. He hadn’t known how true it was until he said it.

“Okay.”

“I’m serious.” He felt suddenly impassioned. “You can’t…if you…just don’t. Promise me you won’t.” He couldn’t say it, couldn’t let the words out of his mouth and into the universe. You both knew what he meant.

“I promise,” you said. You sounded oddly tranquil, but Joel was destroyed, even though he knew he didn’t have the right to be—this was entirely his fault.

“Can you let me keep watch so you can get some sleep?” you asked again.

He shook his head.

“Why not?”

“Just need to know where you are.”

You stared at him, eyes wide and glossy, and for a second he thought you might start crying. Before he could think of something to do or say, your hands were on either side of his face, pulling him down into an urgent kiss.

He didn’t know what was happening, what you were thinking, or what he was thinking, but it didn’t matter, he just knew he needed to kiss you back. One of his hands found your waist while the other splayed out across your back, pulling you flush against him.

It was nowhere near sweet. It was intense and unyielding—a frantic clashing of teeth and bruising of lips. It was intoxicating, earth-shattering, but felt so right, like it was always meant to happen—or needed to happen.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, somehow bringing him impossibly closer to you. You hiked a leg up around his hip and tugged his pelvis forward. He ran a hand down from your waist, brushing it over your ass and gripping your thigh.

You rolled your hips into his, eliciting a deep, involuntary groan from him. He was painfully hard. He knew he would regret this, but he set your leg down and managed to tear his mouth away from yours. 

He missed the feeling immediately, and he didn’t have the self-control to pull away completely. His hands were still on you, pressing you against him. You looked so pretty and ruined gazing back at him; breathless and flustered with pink, swollen lips.

Fuck.

You had just kissed Joel Miller, the man you hated. 

You didn’t hate him.

You kissed the man who hated you.

He didn’t hate you.

You kissed the only person you had left. You kissed him even though it made no sense. You kissed him because you wanted to.

You started it, but then he stopped it. His eyes were dark, his face was flushed, and the bulge in his jeans was not going away. He looked like he was in pain, struggling with his own conscience.

“Sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t be sorry.” He grinned softly and reached a hand up to tangle in your hair. It was an unexpectedly sweet gesture. “I liked it.”

Your heart melted. He was so lovely, so dear. You never imagined in your wildest dreams that Joel Miller could be like this.

“Just don’t wanna take advantage,” he said.

“You’re not. I kissed you,” you reminded him.

“I know, but you're upset, and you don’t like me much, and you’re tired. Don’t want you doing anything you don’t actually wanna do.”

You did want it, but you were also overwhelmed and exhausted, and more importantly, it would have been a majorly fucked up thing to do with a 14 year old sleeping 20 feet away.

“But if you still want it later”—he gave you another chaste kiss—“you can have it.”

You giggled, kissing him one more time. You didn’t know when you'd be able to again.

His gentle smile faded, and he looked into your eyes with devastating sincerity. “I got you now, okay?”

“I know, Joel.”

“Do you have me?” he asked.

“I’m trying.” You hoped that would be enough, because it was all you had.

“That’s all I need, sweetheart.”

a/n: so i wrote most of this when i was sick with the flu and i fully intended for it to be a one-shot, but i love this dynamic and i’m thinking of exploring it further. let me know if y’all would be interested in seeing more of these two. (edit: this a/n is now redundant bc i did in fact write the sequel).

[weebsinstash]

Hello! I don’t know if you do this but I was wondering what your thoughts were for a Yandere Lucifer Morningstar from Hazbin Hotel? I’m having trouble writing a good representation of him and would like some advice.

Honestly I'm gonna humble myself and say that it took reading someone else's post to make me like, REALLY notice the nuances of Lucifer's character

This post right here literally made me rewatch his scenes and go "oh wow he IS like DANGEROUSLY DEPRESSED"

He doesn't remember Charlie told him where she is, or what she's doing, and he can barely follow a conversation despite clearly trying to pay attention. He also just seems kind of scattered, and um, HE LITERALLY MAKES A JOKE ABOUT DYING FROM FALLING OFF THE HOTEL BALCONY like dude is making jokes about death in front of his fucking daughter, like my dudes, I think this guy is BARELY holding himself together

He clearly loves loves LOVES Charlie but he doesn't really know how to properly articulate himself and I have a feeling there's a lot he's concealing from her, and another big question is, is his depression from being cast out of Heaven, or from something to do with his missing wife, or a combination of both? Either way this man is clearly dealing with like, really bad issues. And Charlie also mentioned he wasn't around a whole lot when she was younger, so... did he have depression back then too?

So, that all said, I feel like a yandere Lucifer would almost be, potentially invigorated by his darling? Given a new lease on life? He may not be 100% his old self again but, you get him to like, 65, maybe 70% on a good day. You give him another reason to get out of bed in the morning, or afternoon, or evening or, whenever he can drag his depressed ass out of bed

Given what we currently know, I feel like a romantic yandere Lucifer would pretend to only be platonic and do his best to poorly conceal his feelings because of his whole... "can't ask his missing wife if it's ok for you to be their third" ordeal, the man still wears his wedding ring, and a platonic yandere Lucifer basically adopts you like another kid, because uh, I mean for one he apparently canonically missed a lot of Charlie's childhood, and he's also an ancient fallen angel, so he's got that age advantage on you no matter how old you are. I mean what are a few decades when he's literally thousands upon thousands upon thousands--you get the idea

Yandere Lucifer would want to stay close to you, helping watch over you, maaaaaybe being overly paranoid about you randomly disappearing and going missing For Very Obvious Reasons, and in the process he winds up being unintentionally overbearing. I mean, he did it in irritation, but he basically showed up at Charlie's hotel immediately saying it was a dump and all of HER FRIENDS were 'a bunch of losers'. He never completely pulls his punches when there's something he's displeased with, even if it has something to do with someone he loves, so his darling would get much of the same treatment. "Ohhhhh, you uh, you wanted to move across the city? That's, um, definitely a fun idea! BuuuuuUuuut, what IF, instead of doing that--", like, he tries to playfully tug you in 'the right direction' until you make him put his foot down

Hmmm... what would him losing his cool look like... well, we've already seen that he doesn't mind throwing hands and WILL KILL, but will stop if he's asked to or there's a good reason. With you, though, you're not typically going to be there to stop him from offing any rivals or bad influences, so I imagine he'd be kinda casual about it, actually! He already thinks pretty lowly of Sinners, so say he finds out you've been ditching him and Charlie to go out drinking with strangers, making new friends, maybe having a few one night stands? Yeah, some of those people definitely aren't calling you back, and Lucifer doesn't really see a problem with it. These people are kind of the worst and really don't deserve you, anyways! If anything he's helping clean up Hell for you and his daughter and keeping you safe :)

Losing his cool with YOU... I think would involve him using his powers to finally confine you, maybe even going demon mode to intimidate you into submission in a very dad-esque "now you listen HERE" kind of way. We don't really know the scope and scale of his powers but I can picture him at least being, obviously much stronger than he looks, and transforming to fly you "back home" where he puts you in your room where no one can reach you without his explicit permission (and you also can't leave~)

One second you're just drunk and jokingly defying him, teasing him, maybe even picking him up and swinging him around because you're bigger than him, to you he's just a silly little guy! Meanwhile this Grown Ass Man Who Is Also The Actual Devil is getting more than just a little frustrated you basically view him as a wacky little cartoon more than a grown man, one who has had sex and has had two wives and sired a child. You're just teasing him and stumbling around drunk when he's trying to get you to your hotel room to get to bed to sleep, like you're clearly not taking him seriously, maybe even playfully putting your hands on him (TOTALLY not riling him up in 'fun' ways) and he finally just huffs and snaps his fingers and, you're suddenly magic'd to bed! You're laying there blinking confused and he's tucking you in and chuckling that "you're such a handful!" before leaving you to sleep and somehow INSTANTLY knowing when you're up.

You ARE in his house, after all...

Not to be gross but uh..... I'm not saying "yandere Lucifer who has the power to still get a Sinner pregnant if he wanted to and you wind up fooling around with him and you're waking up with his little apple symbol on your lower tummy as one of those like hentai womb tattoos to show you're pregnant" but uhhhhhhhhhhyeah that's what I'm saying, and whether it was accidentally or intentionally, he's keeping it, and thus, keeping YOU

I just feel like he'd be very goofy and awkward and bad at hiding his feelings and being very clearly overprotective and jealous in ways everyone else but you manages to pick up on (god Alastor would have some MATERIAL) and, in a romantic/sexual setting he eventually just loses his patience with you not seeing him as a man and just gets... progressively more forward. You pop back into the Hotel after a night out and Lucifer's already hammered at the bar with Husk, stumbling up to you, hanging off of you, slurring and embarrassing himself, "You'reeeee SO pretty... like SO pretty.... do you wanna have *BELCH* you wanna fuck? Cause I LOVE to fuck, like when I FUCKED my wife to make my DAUGHTER, my wife and daughter that I have, 'cuz im a DAD, 'cuz I'm a MAN!" and you're just giggling and ruffling his hair, "You're so weird, dude ^^" and walking away while Lucifer internally screams, wondering just how DIRECT with you he's going to have to be

meanwhile Charlie is totally cool with all of this and sees this as a weird double whammy of Curing Dad's Depression + new family member and friend hurray! and she's totally actively either shipping you with her dad or aiding and abetting him in his weird attempts to absorb you into the Morningstar family

[idle-compy]

jwct season two review!! spoilers below!!

to start off, I really enjoyed this season! it definitely had some weak spots, but overall wasn't a bad season

the animation is definitely the first thing I want to bring up. it was absolutely beautiful. the colors and lighting were stunning, and the way everything moved made it feel a bit more real. I'd like to give a special shout out to any scene involving water because, one, the water was animated extremely well, and two, the way the characters looked after getting wet was a huge upgrade to jwcc

speaking of the characters, I want to talk about them a bit! this is going to be a bit of a mix between good and bad

darius: unfortunately, darius felt kinda flat this season. before the initial release, the show was advertised around him, and he shone his way thru season one. he had conflicts, he had emotions, he an arc. in season two, he felt kind of like a side character. only watching the season once so far, the only memorable moments I remember are him trying to bond with zayna and that extremely awkward flashback of his confession (which is a whole other thing I will get to). other than that, he didn't really have much going on. there was no actual story; no arc. maybe when I do a rewatch, something else will stand out to me

sammy: unfortunately, sammy's story this season also felt kinda weak. for starters, she didn't get to kick a single ass. I feel like her whole arc was just being attached to zayna. she clearly got very emotional about the mballo family, so I guess I was just hoping they would elaborate a bit more on what's going on with her own. I also definitely do think she saw a bit of herself in zayna, so I was hoping that would go somewhere, too. I was really happy about her being a canon vegetarian, though

yaz: yaz, as always, was an icon. she was THE character this season. she was so good at reading people and noticing they weren't okay, and then she tried to help her friends, no matter how much they refused to communicate. a moment of appreciation for her patience when dealing with kenji and ben, because they were not making it easy for her

also her solo episode!!!!! was insane!!!!!! it was literally never ending tension, and good god nothing was going right for her, and yet she kept going. she kept fighting. that episode was also a really good example of how much she's grown. no matter what was thrown at her, she didn't let herself fall into a state of panic and irrational thoughts

ben: I loved his arc. he was put in such an insanely messy and complicated situation, and mixing that with his anxiety and paranoia, of course he'd struggle with it. they did a good job at making the audience understand his thought process. he had to choose between telling the group their dead friend is actually alive because he saw her in the background of one video, or holding back this info until he got more solid proof. then, said dead friend video calls him and begs him not to say anything. that only made it more difficult for him, because he was 100% sure she was alive then, but was asked to not tell. watching him fall deeper and deeper into a state of panic absolutely crushed me

kenji: oh kenji, kenji, kenji. I don't even know where to begin with him, so I guess I'll start with the overall character. to be completely honest, there were moments (especially in the middle of the season) where he just did not feel like kenji. he was abrasive and just seemed off somehow. I'm not gonna go too much into that, though, because most people aren't the same person at 22 that they were when they 15. he has also been through an insane amount of stuff and was at a point where he was overwhelmed with emotions, but was trying to convince both his friends and himself that he wasn't

now his arc is a different story. I like where they took it (in a way that added complexity to an already complex character, not in a yippee!! kenji wants to kill himself!! way). the arc itself was hard, and absolutely depressing, to watch. the way he kept throwing himself in danger's way as if he had a death wish was absolutely heart wrenching. then when he realized what he had been doing and how it affected others, and when he said "I don't know how much more I can take" I wanted to rip him through the screen and give him a big hug

brooklynn: loved loved LOVED her storyline. I was so happy to see her side of the story and how she ended up where she did. the first scene I want to talk about is when she wanted to see her family and friends, she wanted to reach out, but realizing that it could potentially put them in danger, she solidified her decision to stay "dead." I loved that scene so much because it knocks out all of those "heartless brooklynn" theories. she faked her death for them, not to hurt them

I loved that they had moments of focus where she adapted to her new limb difference, and that she was allowed to grieve her missing arm. it felt real and human. also watching her ability to manipulate others and make her way into those different situations was so extremely fascinating. like she is an amazing investigative journalist

also the final scene, where she went with soyona. as agonizing as it was to watch, I'm actually glad she made that decision. it wouldn't have felt realistic for her to choose her friends, not after everything she had gone through to even get there. she was in too deep, and it was very brooklynn of her to continue the investigation instead of going back to her old life. I feel that giving bumpy's egg to the others was her little sign saying "I'm still in here"

ok moving on!

there's also some good and some bad when it comes to the way they told the story

for the good, I really liked the way they switched back and forth between brooklynn and the others. it was a good way to keep up with the timeline while also filling in gaps (ex: the crate moving into the pen just long enough to get them out only to find out brooklynn was on the controls)

on the other hand, the story in the middle of the season (more specifically eps 4, 5, 6), felt like it was moving a bit slow at times. certain things seemed dragged out and there was a lot of filler time. the first episode and the last four did a really good job at avoiding that. the stakes were high and the scenes were so full of tension and ominousity that I was drawn in just about the entire time

now for random little things

I loved the inclusion of the mballo family. it was so refreshing to get new characters that didn't have bad intentions, and I feel like they were exactly what the five needed in that moment

going off of that, I absolutely adored zayna!! she was such a good inclusion. she was determined and strong-willed while also still being a kid. her sarcastic personality (towards darius specifically) was a good way to bring in some light humor too

geba!!! that's all just geba

also the eyeless leucistic baryonyx. I felt so bad for the poor thing knowing that she was intentionally created to be that way. her interactions with the characters were absolutely terrifying, though, and when she communicated with the acrociraptor???? I didn't think it could get more intense

I was actually losing my mind when the baryonyx and red were hunting the nublar five with all the lights turned off. that was another extremely well done scene

the darius confession flashback was..... something. definitely NOT how I was expecting them to go about that scene. season one made it seem like she had been staying with him for a while and he slowly developed feelings that way and eventually she caught on. but that flashback threw all of that away. like she clearly hadn't been there very long and darius had already fallen HARD, and it just seemed out of character for him to insist kenji didn't love her that much. the whole thing was just ugh

the video call flashback was great tho!! it was nice to see they still continued those calls

ben and kenji!!!!!! no but I was actually obsessed with what they did with their relationship this season. the bickering, the divorced couple vibes, and of course the heart to heart. I've been waiting years for that to happen and it did. just for their relationship to go to shambles the next episode 😭

but on that note I will say the reveal to kenji was set up so extremely well. being able to see and hear ben and brooklynn but they don't know he's there, and then everything he does witness is out of context, so he builds up his own conclusion. him confronting ben was so intense like godddd. I couldn't stand the pain in both of their faces. when kenji cracked the glass??? imagine if he had actually aimed for bens face

on the other hand, the reveal to the rest was kinda meh. I just felt like they could've done more with it, but hey, I guess it's realistic. not everything is going to happen under dramatic circumstances

speckles ❤️ (just call me kenji the way I'm attached to that egg)

I loved to see some behaviors from nublar come back!! like yaz going for casual runs through the forest with dinosaurs and darius creating another field guide. I missed dino nerd darius

also the roar identification competition they were having in the beginning was so funny but also such a them thing to do

wish brooklynn would've kept her grey graphic tee (I think it said kroxic??). I liked it more than the plain navy one (/lh)

speaking of clothes, why did they change for that one episode then immediately change back??? felt like a waste of those models (/lh)

anyway I think that's all!! I might come back and edit if I think of anything else to add

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep6 Musings: Loumand (Spoilers)

Armand stressed me TF out this episode; I can't believe they had me yelling at my favorite TVC book character this much on this dang show. But I still stand by what I said about him having good intentions--

--but by god does this man make the worst decisions for the best reasons.

FACTS, I can't stand modern art. The first vamp capitalist, faaaacts.

The first vamp pilot--Louis WANTS to fly now!? Or maybe it's just the Cloud Gift that freaks him out; a vampire taking him up without his control/consent?

I cannot BELIEVE they're banging in Armand's office right in front of that flimsy glass door--that's why the coven hated y'all. 🤦 Rubbing in their faces that Lou can do whatever--and whoever--he wants.

OF COURSE that mofo was gonna say No--DUH! Lou, Armand don't want Lestat's spawn, he wants Lestat's SEED, there's a DIFFERENCE. 😅

He. Didn't. NO. The attitude in Lou's neck rolls had me QUAKING. AMC is leaning IN to Armand withholding more than Lestat, jfc. 😬

It was NOT ok, Armand. That was your cue to be part of the family, and join Lou as he went to the IVF clinic to get his eggs fertilized with YOUR seed, MORON. 🤦 Y'all could've been the Le Russe/Romanus family! Now they'll always be Lioncourts! 😩 Alexa, play Rolling in the Deep, cuz they could've had it all! 😔🎵 🎶

☝️ SAY IT LOUDER! ☝️

Roleplay don't mean ISH outside the bedroom--just cuz Armand's a subby bottom don't mean he didn't hold ALL the power the whole time; eff what Lou said, asked or "ordered." I said back in S1: Les & Armand HUMOR Lou, and let him pretend to be in charge (X X). It's called POWER IMBALANCE.

It looks like childbirth gone wrong.

Lou going from battered wife depression in S1 to post-partum-depression in S2. 😔 So Loius tried to kill himself again? By bleeding out? Throwing up all the blood he drank from Madeleine. Dang.

What "you did to yourself" is a little inaccurate, considering it was YOUR insensitive words that triggered him and made him want to yeet himself into the sun! This is what I always mean by Armand taking advantage of Louis' agency, cuz Louis was CLEARLY not in his right mind at the time to be asking for anything THAT serious, which he NEVER would've done elsewise.

So, 3 days after Louis' failed suicide attempt, he asked for his mind to be wiped--cuz he was still TRAUMATIZED, Armand! 🤦

Lou got high as a kite (if he was ever sober in SanFran.....)

Nearly killed the first human who managed to get anywhere towards helping him process his PTSD--if not just VENT a bit; as he hadn't spoken Lestat's name in 20+ years by that point.

Vented all his resentment to Armand for being hella boring

Was triggered by Armand telling Louis Claudia never loved him, wtf

Tried to kill himself by burning himself alive in the first sunrise he'd seen since Paul's suicide

Burnt to a crisp, he has to watch Armand torture TF out of Daniel, begging for his life & powerless to do anything

Then lay there all crispetty cracketty crunchetty and hear Armand have a effing telephone call with LESTAT

He even told OIdmaniel he'd been in so much pain he blanked out

Armand said drugs did a number on Dan's mind--Louis DIED an alcoholic; he was turned while he was drunk, and I bet mental illness runs in his family, too. So what damage was done to LOUIS' mind when he was in SanFran getting stoned every night b4 you scrambled his brain, Armand?!

Daniel's mind is sharp, yes, but his body sure ain't. Armand caused Daniel's Parkinsons--if it's even really Parkinsons, and not just the consequences of 6 days of bodily & mental torture, as his arm was crushed, head bashed, nose bled, and muscles were contorted. "To protect me, from YOU, my Molloy"--we been knew. "Why did I owe YOU my shame...my one act of cowardice?" Oh, you mean selling Claudia & Louis down the effing river?!

I'd bet money that Armand was so shook seeing Louis' reaction to what he said about Claudia hating Louis, and was so terrified of being on permanent suicide watch, that he was RELIEVED to have the chance to wipe Louis' memory, and soften the blow of his own culpability in WHY Claudia died hating Louis. Cuz she was HAPPY at that cafe with y'all! What happened AFTERWARDS, Armand!?

Why would vamps cheer and drink with alcohol; y'all shoulda known something was up; with this JUDAS at the effing table.

Why tf is Armand sleeping in Claudia's coffin? I guess Loumand doesn't share Louis' the way Loustat did. But better question: Why TF are they still in that flat?! I'd've left Paris for good; that was stupid of them to stay in coven territory. But I guess we know why Armand didn't insist they leave. 😒

Louis and Madz have tension. :(

This poor boy just CANNOT help himself, LOL.

LOLOLOLOLOL! Madz is NOSEY, spill all the tea, girl, yaaas! XD (The bass in Lou's voice when he says BIIIIIG HEAD nearly put me in a stretcher--omfg it was IMPROVISED!?)

👀 Yeah, he knows, alright. Knows you'll forgive him, Lou.

Cuz he felt he had nothing left if he didn't have you.

Cuz Santiago was right:

Speak of the devil, carrying the effing burlap sacks.

I could never sit there that calm and talk about all that without lunging over and pulling every follicle out of Armand's head.

Omg it's a matinee in DAYLIGHT, it's happening right then & there. 😭☀️

💀

[m4rs-ex3]

people always make silly little lists of characters' crimes which i love but i'm gonna do smth a lillllll different

tdp character trauma log 🫶✨

callum

lost his father at a Baby age (the perfect age actually; young enough to be very emotional and impressionable but old enough to have to process it)

was thrown into a drastically different + high-key terrifying environment at Baby Age

lost his mother--his comfort person, his only connection to his og life (besides amaya), and also just an amazing individual--leaving him alone in said environment

was constantly belittled for being bad at the thing he never asked to be

lost his stepfather aka his only parent left and experienced an array of regret over what he didn't do while harrow was alive

almost watched his little brother down/freeze to death

was betrayed by his childhood friend

endured a severe dark magic sickness + traumatizing fever dream

almost choked to death

watched his whole world jump off of the highest point in the world

almost died plummeting off of the highest point in the world

was abandoned by Love of His Life for several depressed years

was literally fucking possessed

was taxed with the decision between becoming a vessel for the most dangerous individual in the world to destroy everything and hurt everyone he loves OR essentially ending his life (a conclusion he himself had to come to)

was under the impression that Love of His Life was dead (and he never got to tell her what he wanted to)

almost died pt 3

almost died pt 4-5

bound and brutally beaten + electrocuted (?)

watched the most important person in the world to him mercilessly tortured within an inch of her life

almost lost her AGAIN and had to destroy his entire moral compass in order to save her

tortured

almost died 6: choked pt 2

rayla

where do i begin

well first off grew up in the silvergrove and hey moonshadow elves i love ya but oh dear god -promotes "strength" and stoicism over discussing your feelings and admitting to your weaknesses -so bound (literally) by duty and oaths that faltering results in either being good as dead or dead as dead -ETC

equipped with a debilitating phobia of water--a fear most would see as bizarre and silly and exceptionally irrational--in a culture that as previously mentioned shuns fear to all hell

was left by her parents and (despite them having a perfectly good reason) never really healed

almost drowned which was not helped by the phobia

almost ravaged by an ancient vampire

an ASSASSIN who has to KILL PEOPLE but is a WHOLESOME SWEETHEART

haunted by her "constant" mistakes; her strengths get wholly overshadowed by her weaknesses

told by the father figure she revered that she is a stupid baby useless idiot (roughly)

was flatly told by Father Figure he expected to kill her (to which she's just like "fr prolly" good god girl you are fucked)

had to not only sit and listen to, but conform to horrid stereotypes she's been haunted by since she was a kid

nearly slowly lost a hand (and just straight up accepted like ik this isn't the point but i feel the need to address when she does some insanely broken shit)

saw a person wither to dust before her eyes i feel like we forget about this

almost died like pt 4 ish i literally cannot keep track what counts and whats too minor a near death experience and why do i have to ask these questions

watched the love of her life (shut up harry styles) suffocate in his sleep in her arms

almost died pt 5-8 ?

i once again don't even know where to begin this time with her ghosting. linking this post again but tldr she didn't do anything wrong, she believed she did, her society not only confirmed these suspicions but god they pinned her with so much more, and she was told that actually no and what the fuck is she supposed to do with that u just told her everything she knows is wrong and that she actually has worth and she is not keen on that mindset

almost died 9? i include this one bc soulfangs are terrifying

cooly came to the conclusion that she deserved to die for her parents mistakes (and fully intended on doing so)

almost died jumping off the highest point in the world

suffered from persistent nightmares

almost drowned (the phobia once again did not help)

was nearly killed by the dead former co-workers she feels responsible for killing

forced herself to leave behind Love of Her Life and if you don't think that was the hardest fucking thing in the world for her

spent two, miserable years alone, getting beaten down again and again (mentally and physically,) plagued by her vendetta, haunted by all she lost, never knowing comfort, never knowing love, and probably so much worse that we don't even know woohoo!

thought that, after years of painful wondering, the parents she desperately wanted back were killed right in front of her

almost died pt who even fucking knows

almost died

almost died

almost died

almost died

almost died

was absolutely fucking brutally tortured (within an inch of her life) 😚✌🌸✨✨

almost died horrendously (she rlly couldnt catch a break that day)

had to choose between pushing her trauma to the absolute limit or hating herself for not protecting her friends

almost died

ez

motherless

couldn't make friends (for a reason no one would believe)

that's why yo [daddy] dead. dead as hell. what shoes [he] got on what shoes [he] got on in [his] casket

almost drowned/froze

had the pressure of surviving as an orphan ANDD being a fucking king forced upon him at the same time

felt responsible for thousands of lives

was imprisoned

was almost motherfucking impaled by scary adult

all that? yea he was like 10

therefore

grew up weird like his brother and rayla

probably almost died a lot of times

imprisoned again & was threatened and bared witness to his brother + his closest friend tortured (+ almost murdered)

almost murdered by someone he once trusted

prolly a lot more idk i was gonna include soren n claudia but i am so fucking exhausted THESE KIDS ARE SO FUCKED OML 😭😭

[imnotsimpingyouare]

ENAMORED (II)

Modern Hantengu clones X Reader

Featuring:

"Pissed Cubicle Worker" Sekido

"Depressed Programmer" Aizetsu

"That Guy in the Alley" Karaku

"Unfunny YouTube Prankster" Urogi

"Disappointed Grandpa" Hantengu

"Delinquent Middle Schooler" Zohakuten

"Possibly a Criminal" Akaza

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

You will NOT be shipped with Zohakuten or Hantengu because:

A.) One is an old man

B.) One is a young boy

Ty for your time 😌

fem!Y/N goes for her last job with Murata's Service Emporium 😢 but gets an interesting offer due to her *OUTSTANDING* work.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Hantengu.

You've heard of that household. They order some sort of cleaning service every month or so. Only, it's never been you that has gone before, so how exactly do you know about their service requests?

BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY'RE FUCKING INSANE.

Some of the other employees have literally returned from the job crying.

WHICH INCLUDES, BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO TERRY THE GARDENER! A TALL, BUFF MAN!

WHAT DEMON IN THAT HOUSE IS MAKING A GROWN MAN CRY LIKE THAT? WHY DOES YOUR BOSS HATE YOU? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CURL UP IN A BALL AND FOSSILIZE.

You sigh. A big sigh. A really, really long sigh.

If you had the heart to, you would've quit the moment your boss revealed he was going to fire you, only.. you knew it was like him to try and withhold your paycheck for the week if you did. Obviously, he can't do that if you've done your job on schedule for any amount of time, but you're not gonna jump through flaming hoops just to stick it to the guy.

Easier to just get this over with.

You grab your supplies and load your car.

Yes, they make you use your own transport for this job. No, they don't pay for gas.

Maybe losing this job won't be so bad after all.

Starting up the map on your phone, you type in the adress of this demon house and get ready to be very fucking miserable for however long you spend there.

The clouds are grey this morning, as they are every morning, but this morning is different. Maybe it's because you fell down two flights of stairs. Maybe it's because you held some handsome guy's hand this morning when he helped you up. Maybe it's because you literally just got fired like 10 minutes ago. But something is different.

○○○○○

Unbeknownst to you, in the opposite lane of traffic, Sekido is screaming at the cars infront of him.

Nevermind, it's not just Sekido. In some strange sort of... brotherly bonding ritual, both Sekido and Zohakuten are screaming at the car infront of them (which is going the speed limit).

"WHY WON'T YOU PRESS YOUR DAMN GAS? THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT HERE WITH JOBS AND SHITHEADS WITH SCHOOL! 20 ABOVE THE LIMIT NEVER KILLED ANYBODY!"

"...Sekido, I think 20 above the limit has killed people. BUT THOSE PEOPLE WERE GOING TOO DAMN SLOW!"

Sekido's grey minivan pulled up to the school. Zohakuten grabbed his bag and opened the door, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"...Zohakuten."

Red eyes met his, and he felt slightly uncomfortable at how calm Sekido was managing to be.

"....what."

"....one day."

"wha–"

"One day without doing some stupid shit to get sent home or to the principal's office. If you do, I'll... I don't fucking know, have the gods come down and kiss you on the nose one by one. Just be good. Ok?" He said, almost in a... defeated tone.

Zohakuten, for a moment, was dumbfounded. Had Aizetsu taken over Sekido's body? Was this some sort or trick? Who did he think he was? It's not his fault he'll never use this crap again. Nor is it his fault that some of the kids are little shitheads.

Instead of saying all this, out of respect for Sekido's effort to be *nice*

(Literally, beads of sweat were beginning to form on Sekido's face, and he looked constipated)

....he nodded.

"Okay. I want ice cream after school."

And shut the car door.

Sekido was left by himself, face immediately breaking back into that scowl he wore so well.

"Fucking ice cream. I might as well get him a horse and a spaceship while I'm servicing His Majesty. Seriously, how hard is it not to throw desks?"

○○○○○

Your car stopped infront of a mansion.

Maybe not a mansion, but.. it was something.

A three story house with 2 vehicles in front (AND A MOTORCYCLE?). However, the only decorations in front were a little knome and a set of windchimes. You could also faintly hear "Barbie Girl" playing from somewhere in the home.

At the very least, it was... a flattering home. The outside didn't look too bad, but you were at least slightly concerned about the inside.

You knocked on the door, cleaning supplies in hand.

"Murata's Service Emporium!"

The door creaked open slightly, before opening to reveal a rather handsome, dark-skinned man in nothing but a towel and.... a face mask and hair curlers.

His eyes were a deep emerald green, a complete contrast from his skin that you were HERE FOR.

He looked you up and down, before turning his attention back into the house. "Aizetsu! Your escort is here!"

Immediately your face turned red. "Wha- did you not hear what I said when I knocked!?"

He raised a brow at you.

"Service Emporium?"

Oh.

That actually sounds pretty bad when taken out of context.

"...okay, but why would I be holding all of these cleaning supplies?"

He looked down at you again.

"I don't know what freaky stuff Aizetsu's into, okay? Are you coming in or not?" He huffed.

You reluctantly waddled in and set your things down.

Oh my.

It was a disaster.

The dishes were piled sky-high, the floor SEVERELY UN-VACUUMED... you had work to do.

Another man, almost identical to the one who opened the door, approached you in a rush. His eyes, though, were blue, and significantly more lifeless than the guy before him.

"I'm sorry.. I am Aizetsu. As you can see, our house is a disaster... sorry."

And he walked away.

THAT WAS ALL HE HAD TO SAY?

WAS HE EVEN GOING TO PAY YOU?

HE'S JUST GONNA LEAVE?

You were starting to understand the struggle.

○○○○○

The camera lens was clean. The audio was crisp. In his browser "solt jasz musuc backgriund" was playing.

Everything was perfect.

And now, out of his room once again, was the legendary, the one and only, greatest failed theater kid of all time..

Urogi!

And he was ready. Ready to bamboozle this busy, strangely attractive woman that wandered her way into his home. Ready. But she wasn't.

Which is what made it good content.

And good content -> motorcycle upgrades.

Which he wanted.

Very badly.

So there he was, creeping up behind you, four cans of silly string in one hand, a camera in the other.

You, on the other hand, were almost finished up here. You cleaned in and out, over and under, anywhere you could. The dishes were dried and put away, and everything was soon to be in order. The only task you had left was to sweep the kitchen. A relatively easy job. After that, you could get out of here, and... you didn't have a job to go to.

Hadn't thought of that in a while.

But there wasn't any time to think about it when you heard something being set on the counter behind you. You turned around, only to be met with a man leaping at you.

Naturally, you dodged out of the way, dropping the broom and hooking your attacker around the neck, locking him in a chokehold. All was well until a flurry of colors came flying toward you into your hair and eyes.

Immediately you were overpowered, your key sense being obstructed. You were pushed over near the sofa, being sprayed relentlessly with some sort of squishy string-like material.

You were quick to recover, and reached up to what you assumed to be the sofa, taking off one of the pillows and swinging wildly at your attacker. Terrifying laughter was heard from above you, and you overturned them until you had them in prime suffocating position. Moments into your retaliation, you pulled some of the strange material off of your face, only to see the face of both people you met earlier. Except this one had yellow eyes.

You paused in your struggle with him, both of you huffing and puffing like you were about to blow someone's house away.

He stared up at you, and you stared down at him, before your gaze flickered up to the counter, only to see a camera placed there and aimed directly at the two of you.

Footsteps distracted you from this realization.

"Aizetsu? Your escort got loose. I think she got confused. Did you not tell her about being a quad?" It was the green-eyed man, back with his bunny slippers and some actual clothes, but no hair curlers or face masks.

"IM NOT A PROSTITUTE!" You snapped at him, smacking the man under you again with the pillow for good measure.

"Why the hell is there a woman on top of Urogi? Why are you just watching, Karaku? You sick fuck.."

Another voice was heard, deeper and more gruff than the rest. You looked up, and saw another man identical to all three of the others! Unlike his counterparts, this one had blood-red eyes.

"What's going on? Are you all siblings?" You said, before mentally face-pamling. Of course they're all siblings. What else would they be?

"Of course we're siblings. What else would we be? Idiot." The red-eyed man growled, before hanging his keys and stomping off to who knows where.

The man under you tapped on your forehead.

"...can I get up?"

You rolled your eyes at him, delivering another smack with the pillow before getting off of him. "You don't just sneak up on some unsuspecting person like that!" You scolded, but he didn't listen. He was already busy fiddling with his camera.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, mumbling a slew of curses before going to pick up the broom.

"So clean, so clean! It looks like this house is brand new! Where are they? The cleaner? Where are they?" A labored, weak voice sounded from the hallway. An old man appeared, and hobbled toward you. You tried backing away, but it was no use, as he grabbed your face to examine you.

"Lovely girl, lovely girl! Cleaned up everything perfectly! You're the angel who cleans up my grandsons' mess every month, are you? Lovely girl!" His voice was trembling, as were his hands.

He must be talking about the company. But before you have time to explain, he cuts you off.

"I wish to hire you, lovely girl! Lovely girl! You can live in my home, in the spare room! You can clean up and teach my grandsons how to behave! Will you? Don't leave an old man like me helpless. Their mother isn't around to teach them to behave, will you? Lovely girl?"

Your eyes widened at the offer. "..hire? Like, for money?"

The old man laughed. Well, he tried, but it came out as a cough. "For housing? Food? Anything you'd like?"

"....and for money?"

"...yes, I'll pay you weekly."

You needed time to recollect your thoughts! Living here, with unknown people? Cleaning! More cleaning!

But at least you'd have a roof over your head, and food, and 'whatever you'd like' whatever that was. And you'd even have your own money on the side. Maybe you could save for a house? To go back to school?

At that point, only Karaku and the old man were left in the room, eyes trained on you. Karaku's lips broke into a smile. He knew what your answer was going to be.

"..I'll do it."

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Oh nooooo somebody stole my Aidlyn/Ashden headcanons so now I have to write more ... ✨️

(SORRY IM SPAMMING THE TAG 😭😭😭)

Some of these are based on my dad because he has bpd and he really reminds me of Aiden.

-His sense of humor is so broken like. Probably makes "that's what she said" and "your mom" jokes. Ash thinks he is the unfunniest person alive 🤡 and she STILL laughs at him (but never when he's trying to be funny). I think he'd be on Vine a lot lmao. He would laugh at that video of the bread slice falling over no cap.

-Aiden Clark, Professional Doomscroller. Maybe an itty bitty bit addicted to social media cuz "omg easy dopamine hit" even if he doesn't post a lot. Would prolly be chronically on TikTok if he was a teen today 🤡 Ash WILL steal his phone and hide it so they can "do something productive" (which alternates between her trying to teach him basic life skills to him falling out of a tree because they went outside for five minutes)

-her parents also gave him a truly awful shovel talk. He came out of it, kneeled in front of her, and said if he broke her heart to kill him before her parents did 💖 Tyler and him bond about their "scary in laws", although he has a better relationship with Mike and Emma than Tyler does with Mary and James 🤡

-convinced her to go to prom because "free food" and managed to wrangle out a slow-dance from her. He already likes dancing, SHE likes dancing...he wants to dance together ^_^

-She really likes his normal smile, when he's not forcing it. He takes good care of his teeth, so he's got a real bright smile :)

-Aiden tried to teach her how to skateboard a few times. She can...stand on it without falling off and roll around, but no tricks lol. Ash still thinks it was just an excuse for him to grab her hands or waist while she was balancing.

-Some problems in the relationship: they are not very good at communicating how they feel, so there's a lot of misunderstandings between them unless the gang intervenes haha ":D Sometimes Ash feels very suffocated by him and she really dislikes his apathy towards himself, and Aiden sometimes feels like Ash doesn't care about him nearly as much as he cares about her.

-his depressive episodes alternate between "I'm just gonna lie here and hope I die" to "actively trying to self destruct", sometimes he might go on a binge (overdosing on his meds, and when he's older he might sometimes drink too much or go on really dangerous joy rides, he's an awful driver), they really freak Ash out :( Recovery is a very long road with no end destination. She's trying to get better at reassuring him and he's trying to...just get better.

-both of them suck at remembering their anniversary 🤡 Aiden is a littleeeee bit better

-They have a knife collection they share ❤️

-he has her as "love of my life 💖✨️😍" on his phone contacts and has a special ringtone for her and everything. Absolutely not embarrassed about it, Ash...definitely is 💀 (she has him as "Aiden")

-sends her really bad poetry he wrote for her because writing his feelings down by himself is easier than saying it in the moment. Ash keeps all of them in a shoebox in her closet.

-she's not really good with touching and stuff but she feels better touching him, like a good stim. Really likes holding his face (no eye contact). Also enjoys him holding her hand.

-Secretly a little insecure about how she looks. She has never really thought about it before because she never cared about it, but now, in a relationship, she's kinda self conscious about him perceiving (read: constantly staring) her. She's very short and thin (even with muscles from ballet and training) and feels like a "late bloomer." Aiden thinks she's the closest thing to physical perfection that exists and will tell her this constantly ^_^

-She actually likes how he smells (grâce à: his really expensive soap lmao) but she would die before telling him lol

-The first time she kissed him her brain kinda shut off and she just squished their faces together while puffing her cheeks up. He bust out laughing and completely murdered the mood 💀 They'll figure it out...eventually

[moongothic]

Do you think Luffy's death would have an impact on Dragon and Crocodile? it's a very headcanon question, but also, Luffy is surrounded by death flags as we get closer to the end of the series

Gonna put Dragon aside because I feel like we still know so little about him I don't really have a good read on him and how he'd feel. I mean I'm sure he'd be sad but there's like a range of ways he might express that sorrow (the range going from Zoro-esque stoicism to Franky-"I'm not crying"-ism, which is quite a wide range)

But as for Croccywocky himself. The short answer is that we actually kind of already know he might react if Luffy died? Post-War Luffy had been MIA for multiple weeks, and while we don't know what Crocodile himself was doing during that time, the way Daz talks to him about "wounds like that" needing "time to heal" and how Crocodile acknowedged it as Daz getting sassy at him? Yeah, the implication may be that Crocodile was moping for the past few weeks. Which makes sense if he had been unsure if Luffy had even managed to escape Marineford alive, let alone how the trauma of losing Ace would impact his psyche. So, much like how Crocodile had seemingly given up on live after his plans to take over Alabasta were foiled, if Luffy were to die now I feel like he'd fall into a similar depression as that, if much worse and deeper this time.

But you brought up Luffy's death flags, and anon, you see... You have now opened up a can of worms. Because we can't possibly discuss Luffy's death flags and how Crocodile might react to Luffy dying without also bringing up Law's Immortality Operation and Crocodile's own death flags

So, long answer, here we go

So yes, Luffy has some vague death flags going on; the many mentions especially during the pre-timeskip era, about Luffy pushing himself too much and causing too much damage to himself, shortening his lifespan in the process. Now, I genuinely do not think One Piece is going to end with Luffy dead, Oda would not give our rubbery protagonist a sad ending like that (similarly to how I don't think he'll kill ANY of the Strawhats). The timeskip itself was very specifically caused by Luffy realizing he was still far too weak to fulfill his dreams, to the point that if he and the crew just reunited and headed straight for the New World, they really would end up dead. Luffy had to learn this reality the hard way by losing Ace, yes, but Oda had been foreshadowing that reality since Baratie through how Don Krieg and his crew got fucked up not just by the Grand Line but by Mihawk. The Grand Line was always built up as being a dangerous sea most people could not survive, the most recent reminder of that having been Moria, a god damn Shichibukai the crew had to gang up on to defeat, who told us he had lost his entire crew in the New World. We have to be real here, most of the big threats the Strawhats had faced up until this point they had survived partially through dumb fucking luck*, and they were not keeping up with the powerscaling. That's why Luffy was starting to push himself so hard it started to impact his lifespan, they weren't ready for the New World, and if they continued on, they would end up dead. *Croc was overconfident and rusty after sitting on his ass for over a decade and didn't take Luffy seriously until it was too late. Luffy had an inherent DF advantage against Enel and without said lucky advantage would not have been able to beat him. Aokiji spared the Strawhats as a part of his own justice, but Luffy could not have been able to beat him otherwise. Moria was very much the same as Croc with the overconfidence, rustiness and not taking the Strawhats seriously until it was too late, but also the Strawhats literally had to gang up together on Moria to defeat him. Like I don't want to downplay the achievements of the Strawhats and how much stronger they genuinely had become during all their adventures, but at the same time- a lot of the time, they only won thanks to luck. They genuinely were not ready for the New World at this point

Now yes, there are still more death flags going on for Luffy (his heart literally stopping and his Vivre card burning away while fighting Kaidou being just one), but the major ones are pre-timeskip. And because of that, I don't think too much about them anymore. They mattered because they were part of the timeskip. And the timeskip happened, so to me? It feels like the death flags may be partially solved?

But Oda is bonkers, and you can never know, maybe he'll raise another 15 death flags in the next 3 chapters alone, who knows. But that circles back to what I said earlier; I don't think Oda would kill Luffy.

And that's where we get to Law, and where things get interesting. Because indeed, the Ope Ope Fruit grants Law the ability to make someone immortal, though at the cost of his own life. Needless to say, that is a huge ass Chekhov's Gun right there. And to be fair, we do already have one potential pay-off with the existence of the Immortality Operation, that being Imu's probable own immortality. Because Imu can be the pay-off for the Chekhov's Gun, we don't really need to have Law end up sacrificing himself to make someone else immortal, and let's be real, I can't really think of anyone Law would love so much he'd be willing to die like that for their sake.

But at the same time. The fact that Law is fully capable of doing the operation means the gun isn't off the table yet. And Luffy's theoretical death flags do make for a scary combo.

Now we don't actually know all that much about the Immortality Operation aside from the fact that it would cause the user to die. Now... this is wild ass speculation from me, but. Sometimes, Oda can and does give us misleading information. Either because he hadn't fully decided on some lore/backstory things (like Pell's infamous "there's only five Devil Fruit that grant the user the ability to fly" line, or arguably Baby Bonney art in the SBS), or because he didn't want to give us the full story yet and there was room for some in-universe propaganda (Robin having sunk a fleet of Marine ships as a small child being the cause of her bounty) With that in mind... The Ope Ope Fruit is most effective in the hands of a skilled surgeon/doctor, right. Because you need great medical knowledge to operate on people, right. I fully do believe that the Immortality Operation does come with the cost of a human life, but... what if the life doesn't actually HAVE to be the user's own life? What if they actually COULD use literally anyone's life for the operation, but the surgeon refuses this, because taking someone else's life to not just save another but make them immortal would go against the role and the very honor of a doctor?

Because, if that were the case, suddenly the door that is Law's Chekhov's Gun opens up a little more. Law, as I currently see him, would not sacrifice his own life to make a dying Luffy immortal (not unless they were in some real deep shit to begin with and on the verge of death anyway and it was the only way for Law to ensure the safety of his crew etc) But if Luffy was on the verge of death and Law could save him by making him immortal, by sacrificing someone else's life for the operation... That... I could see happen

Of course, as I mentioned before, while I'm sure any and all of the Strawhats would be willing to sacrifice their lifes to save Luffy via immortality, Oda would not kill off any one of them. If any one of them died for Luffy's sake, that would break him. Luffy loves his crew, his friends, so much. Oda wouldn't do that to him. Not again. And even if any of the Strawhats asked, I doubt Law would be willing to kill any of them to save Luffy, not on his honor as a doctor.

Which is why Crocodile would do it.

If all Crocodile ever wanted was for his son to be free and live however he wanted, without being hunter by the WG for sport, and they finally managed to overthrow the WG at the cost of Luffy's life... Like what would be the point in that? All those years of pain and struggling, finally achieving victory and for what? For his son to just die, just when he'd become free? Crocodile couldn't possibly accept that, could he? And sure, I don't think Law would immidiately be like "oh you wanna die to make Strawhat-ya immortal? Sure, c'mon in, we'll do the operation right away sir", I'm sure his pride as a doctor would still instinctually stop him. But I'm sure Croc would be able to convince Law with a few threats of destroying the whole world with his bare hands and forcing Law to watch if he didn't agree to do save his son's life. Because you know he would do that, if only to spite Law at that point. And even if Law had somekind of objections aboit doing it because Luffy wouldn't be okay with someone dying for his sake... If Luffy never finds out about them being related, if Crocodile only remains as 'that asshole who tried to take Vivi's country and hurt his friends' in Luffy's heart... Croc dying for Luffy's sake would not hurt him. Especially if Luffy never even learned the truth about why and how he died. Because Luffy wouldn't lose someone he cared about. They can just tell Luffy Crocodile succumbed to his wounds or something.

Almost a year ago I started writing this essay about Crocodile's death flags in the story, and I never finished it. I struggled with it for a long time because, while I feel like there might be an argument to be made for Croc having death flags, it's kind of... vague. Like the things you could read as death flags only come in hindsight if/when you start projecting Crocodad Propaganda into Alabasta especially, and without that projection it's dubious if it's even there. Like I feel like there might be something there, about a man who seemed to have cared about nothing and no one except himself, willing to sacrifice anyone else for his own ambition, only for him to do a true sacrifice and give up his own life for someone he does care about. But also, One Piece has this running theme of people sacrificing themselves, and when the sacrifice is rewarded by the narrative is so complicated (Sanji offering his head to Kuma because he considdered his life to be the most worthless in the crew vs Zoro offering his head because he genuinely believed he could survive whatever Kuma had to offer vs every single parental figure in the story who sacrificed their lives for their family)-- if Crocodile did (attempt to) sacrifice his life for Luffy, what category would it even fall under? Would, no, COULD the story reward him for it? But I can't quite find the words for it, and I can't quite come to a satisfying conclusion about whether or not those death flags even are there to begin with. I don't know how to write that essay. So you're getting this condenced footnotes version

And once again, I don't know how to end this post.

But indeed, I don't think Oda would kill Luffy at the end of the story. At most, I could see him get brought once again to the verge of death, and if Law doesn't have to die to save Luffy via immortality... Unironically, if Crocodad Real, Croc'll be the one who'll die at the end.

Second option is Garp if only because of Garp's own beliefs about how an old geezer like him should die to save the youngin's + to atone for Ace's death + he probably can't bear to lose Luffy too

[beanghostprincess]

Sanji has helped me in so many ways. I will forever be grateful for the creation of this character. He quite literally means the world to me right now.

(TW: ED/Depression/Suicide attempt mention)

I've always struggled with food. Well, not always. But at the end of middle school (more or less. Give or take. Age 12/13) I became obsessed with what I ate. I still don't know exactly how it started, but I think it has always been a mix of my need to control my life when it's crumbling down and the necessity to look skinny (both things are my mother's fault, mostly. And also lots of things going on at the moment). So I started skipping meals constantly and throwing away food and throwing up. Not gonna get into details, but it ruined my life without anybody knowing until a huge depressive episode came and then I tried to off myself, yadda yadda yadda. Then I just stopped eating food and my meals every day were basically a monster and gum and maybe a piece of fruit. I couldn't even drink milk without crying. Then it got a bit better. Then a bit worse. It wasn't very consistent. And then I started doing exercise but that only made me even more obsessed with calorie intake and healthy food and I still can't drink milk or bread without at least feeling awful about it.

And then I watched One Piece.

I know it sounds extremely silly and dumb, but it has helped me in so many ways. I'm not gonna get into all the things it has done for me, because then I'd have to talk about Robin, Nami, Luffy, Pudding and Buggy which are, like, the characters that have helped me the most next to Sanji, and I would not finish this post.

But Sanji is just so, so important to me.

He speaks about food with such passion. His whole thing about not wasting food literally comes from an experience of starvation and because of the sacrifice his father made for him. He keeps saying he refuses to let people go hungry, no matter what. That we all deserve to eat. He relates food to love and cooking is his whole life. It kind of started as a joke when my brother said "nooo, now you can't waste food because Sanji would be sad" and I- That day I literally ate wayyy more than usual with that thought in mind. And I didn't feel bad afterward for once. And he's just- He just makes me feel so comfortable around food. Which is the normal amount of comfort somebody should have and sometimes it's not even that, but it helps. It helps so much.

Then his whole thing with Germa and the Vinsmokes. It killed me. My relationship with my mother is, uh, you can call it complicated but I fucking hate her so. Yeah. And Sanji's story about rejecting his blood relatives and finding better people who will love him hit so close to home. Him being different. Weak. More emotional. A good person. Sanji refusing to use the name Vinsmoke. It's my whole life. Sanji self-sabotaging himself all the time and constantly sacrificing himself, too? I just can't do it, man, he means the world to me. And then Wano happens and he turns out to have the same body as his siblings but he's still himself. He's still Sanji no matter how much in common he has with the Vinsmokes. And as somebody who's constantly dealing with people telling them that they look like their mom? I fucking love it. I know I look like her and I even act like her sometimes but that doesn't mean I am her. And it doesn't mean she deserves to be part of my family, because she isn't and I can't wait to get rid of her in my life.

It's not only food and family, though. Sanji has helped me accept myself in so many ways too. In the way I perceive others and in the way I act. He has helped me eat. He has helped me realize you don't have to consider your blood relatives family if you don't love them. He has helped me see that my kindness is a strength and not a weak spot.

Not to mention that his whole thing with gender and sexuality, how the fandom portrays him, and how I personally write him has been of so much help in understanding myself. I recently discovered I was a lesbian, and also being genderfluid I just- I just love Sanji so much I be projecting my gender issues and internalized stuff with comphet on him. And let me tell you, it helps.

This whole thing is just something short and sweet I wanted to say because media affects people. In the best of ways. One Piece in general has saved my life in many ways, but Sanji in particular is still helping me every day.

[dbnightingale24]

Wounded Dog, New Tricks

A Follow Up ‘Pavlov’s Dog’

~~

Part 2

~~

I’m sorry this took so long! My life is crazy right now. I'm getting married in two weeks, and there’s still so much more to be done! Thank you so much for waiting patiently for part 2 of ’Pavlov's Dog’ !! As always, thank you to @fuckingbye for the amazing moodboard! (As well as helping to plan both of my weddings, cause I'd be lost without you!) (Also, for being my bridesmaid) (Basically, you’re superwoman and I adore you)

Lets get to it!

Word Count: 36,221 words (it’s me, what do you expect?)

Warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI! 18+ ONLY), Public Sex, Daddy Kink, Degrading Kink, Angst, Heartbreak, Drinking, Arguing, FLUFF, Swearing, Depression, Anxiety Attack, Violence (only a little),  I’m pretty sure that’s everything...

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: Just For A Second It All Felt Simple

I do not give consent/permission for my works/stories to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

~~

“I don’t get why you’re so mad at me for getting some fucking blankets and cushions,” Ransom scowls as you two enter your new house.

Daisy’s gonna kill you for letting him be the first one to spend any real time with you in your house.

“I don’t-”

“I’m already about to have the most honest and uncomfortable talk I’ve ever had with anyone, I at least wanna be comfortable.”

“And the blankets? It’s practically Summer.”

“Think of it as a housewarming present.”

“Who says I want one from you?”

“Y/N,” he growls and you roll your eyes.

“You don’t get to be fucking annoyed with me for a while,” you snap as you take your wine bottles out of the shopping bag, along with wine glasses and a bottle opener.

You made him stop at the liquor store before heading over to sign the papers. You knew it wasn’t in your best interest to have this particular conversation with him while drinking, but it’s not something you can handle 100% sober. Ransom got his own bottle of bourbon, then he stopped at Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get drinking glasses and minimal furniture (blankets, towels, sofa and pillow cushions, and a comforter). You protested, but he told you to be quiet while he took out his card and paid for everything.

You didn’t speak to him for the entire ride to your new house.

“We’re not gonna get anywhere if you’re gonna be a bitch this entire time,” he mutters as he pours himself a glass a tall glass of bourbon.

“Then you can fucking leave right now.”

“Jesus, I know you hate me and have every right to, but can you just try to be patient with me?!” he questions, clearly frustrated and you know he has a point.

You let out a sigh before throwing a cushion on the floor and sitting down, “you’re right and I’m sorry. I agreed to this and I should at least be agreeable.”

“I’m sure you’re gonna yell at me, but if you...I know I don’t deserve any grace and patience from you, but if you could just...let me get it out before you decide you hate me forever, I’d appreciate it.”

“That’s fair,” you shrug before taking a sip of your wine. “Start from the beginning.”

“From the beginning,” he scoffs before taking a long drink from his glass, “as if you don’t know.”

“I don’t know-”

“Jesus Y/N, you know you do. Everything I said wasn’t a lie and you know good and damn well what parts I’m talking about, but if you want to start from the incident with Tommy, we can. I wasn’t expecting you to stick up for me, but you did and that’s honestly what set all of this in motion. Since the first time I laid eyes on you, I was in love with you, and from that moment...I couldn’t get you out of my head. Yeah, you broke the fucking rules because you spoke to me first-”

“What fucking rule is that?!”

“Oh c’mon! We were kids! What the fuck was I supposed to tell you?! I didn’t fucking talk to anyone, and here you were asking me if I was okay! We stared at each other all the damn time, but both of us was too shy to say anything, and then you-”

“You needed a friend!”

“I wasn’t ready for you!” he defends before taking a deep breath and then a sip of his drink. “I just...no one ever defended me. Not even in my own fucking family. I didn’t know what to say, so I just ran, and I kept running. You were so fucking nice, all the time, and what the hell was I supposed to do with that? You were like some mythical fucking...anyway, I-”

“No, if we’re gonna talk about this, you’re gonna-”

“Y/N-”

“Then go home, Ransom. I didn’t do this to us, you did!”

He takes a deep breath before finishing off his drink and pouring himself another, “by the time we were in the 3rd grade, I knew I’d never be enough. You just seemed like an impossible dream. If anything, I thought I’d lost out when I saw you and Daisy becoming so fucking close, because how much room can you have for fucked up people? As time went on, I never thought you’d go for me, and I knew I wasn’t ready for you, so I just fucking stayed away. What else was I supposed to do? You never spoke to anyone unless you had to, and I didn’t even know what to say to you, so I just said nothing. I didn’t acknowledge you, I didn’t go to your birthday parties, and I sure as shit didn’t go to your graduation party...I always thought I had time to get my shit together. Then Jack came along and fucked everything up.”

“Good old Jack,” you scoff, finishing off your drink and pouring yourself another.

“He just...I knew the bet was stupid when I made it, okay? He was so fucking arrogant about it though, and it was only because he figured out I had a thing for you. I thought you’d say no, cause you’re too smart for that shit, but Jack’s a good fucking liar. He gets it from his fucking dad. I honestly didn’t care about losing the fucking money, I cared more about you staying with him, and that’s exactly what fucking happened. What’s fucking worse is that he genuinely did start to care about you. Yes, the smug son of a bitch loved to rub it in my face, but he wasn’t bullshitting you entirely. He did try. He tried to not cheat, he tried to actually be presentable...he tried, and that only made you fall harder. That piece of shit only asked me to be his best man to be a prick, but pride wouldn’t let me turn it down. I wanted to fucking say something. When the fucking priest asked if anyone objected, I wanted to scream, but you were so fucking happy. You were so happy and you looked gorgeous, so I said nothing, because if there’s anyone who deserved to be happy, it’s you. My pride and my bullshit didn’t matter, so I just didn’t fucking say anything and I got fucked up,” he sighs before downing his drink and quickly pouring himself another, while you just sat there and dried your eyes while taking a long drink from your glass.

“Then he started cheating. Only took the little fuck three months, but he was still faking like he was the man you fell in love with. At first, he felt bad and he would tell me about how he wants to be better, but the more he got away with it, the less he started to care. Then, you left and that almost scared him straight. However, the fact that your precious parents bullied you into going back...it only made him more arrogant. Then he started with the fucking bragging and it pissed me the fuck off. How could he not understand how fucking good he had it? You’re the only person in this whole fucked up world we live in that’s actually worth a damn. I would pick arguments that were dumb as hell, just to have a way to yell at him for treating you like shit. That’s when the prick got cocky. He kept saying that he could do whatever the fuck he wants, because there’s no way you’d ever leave him. We were out one night, and he’d just gotten back from getting a blowjob from some whore, when he told me that I couldn’t even get you.

So, that’s when the second bet happened. I know, okay? Don’t fucking give me that look,” he scowls as you glower at him while taking a drink from your glass, almost finishing it. “It’s not lost on either of us that I’m a fucking asshole, so you can’t really be all that surprised that I took the fucking bet. I figured I could get you and the money, and everything would be fine. For as long as I’ve wanted you, needed you, and loved you, I knew it wouldn’t be hard for me to win your love. Yes, I left out the bet, but I didn’t fucking lie to you. Everything I said was true. My feelings weren’t fake. We’ve had a lot of talks about a lot of things that make me look like a pile of shit, and I was honest about all of it. I swear I was gonna tell you everything after your birthday party, and I knew I’d have hell to pay, but it was going to be okay. You loved me, I loved you, you could finally see that it was genuine, then fucking Jack...piece of shit knew what he was doing. Beside the fact that he knew he was losing you, he fucking called while we were in Chicago. Technically, I broke the rules of the bet-”

“Oh, you two had rules? That’s cute,” you laugh humorlessly as you refill your glass. “What were your rules about fucking me over?”

“Sweetheart-”

“What the fuck were they, Ransom?!”

He takes a deep breath before pouring his own drink and looking away from you, “I wasn’t supposed to wine and dine you, it was supposed to be purely sex-”

“Because you guys needed to see how much of a whore I am, or if I’m one at all.”

“Baby, that’s not-”

“What were the rest?” you mutter, sipping your wine.

“I couldn’t tell you that I love you,” he sighs, “I obviously couldn’t tell you about the bet, and I couldn’t tell you about tell you about all of the shady shit Jack was doing behind your back.” “Of course.”

“Oh, come on! I at least I told you about all the shit he was doing-”

“SO YOU COULD GET YOUR $40,000!”

“That’s not...I love you. I have always loved you. Even without the fucking bet, I would’ve told you. I didn’t say anything at that fucking wedding because he had cleaned up his act. I just wanted you to be happy, and you’re right, we are all a group of shitheads. The money shouldn’t have been brought into this, but you’re not just another Marta to me. You are the only person in this world that I want to do right by. You think I would’ve gone to that fucking bar and beat the shit out of Jack if this was all a fucking game to me?”

He had you there. Ransom never stuck his neck out for anyone unless it was for his own personal gain. He knew how much you didn’t want him to fight Jack, and did it anyway, knowing it could all blow up in his face.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Ransom. I really don’t.”

“I want, I need us to go back to how we were!”

“That’s not fucking happening!” you laugh before taking a sip of your wine. “Nothing can ever be how it was!”

“Why not?! I’ve been honest-”

“You still fucking lied to me, Ransom! You lied and had no problem-”

“It’s not that I didn’t have a problem-”

“You decided that the money was more important than telling me-”

“Cause fuck Jack!”

“UGH!” you scream, getting up and walking out of the room, full wine glass in hand.

“Where the fuck are you going?!”

“I don’t know! I don’t feel like looking at your stupid face anymore!”

Stupid face? Yeah, you’re buzzed.

“Stop it, Y/N,” he growls, following after you as you storm into the kitchen.

“Stop what, exactly?! You’re not in my position!”

“I love you!”

“What does that mean to me?! At the end of the day, even if I do believe you, you went after me over a fucking bet!”

“I told you that I’m sorry!”

“That doesn’t make it hurt any less! You’ve probably been fucking your feelings away-”

“No I haven’t!”

“Bullshit!”

“You think I’m gonna lie to you about that?! I’ve become a fucking laughing stock, Y/N! I used to fuck whoever, whenever, and now I’m just waiting for you like a fucking idiot!”

“I don’t know why you’re waiting for me, because-”

“Because I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU!” he shouts and let out an exasperated sigh before taking a sip of wine and running your other hand through your hair.

“You used me like a fucking toy, Ransom. I was a bet in some stupid game for revenge.”

“I’m sorry, I am. I’ll never fucking-”

“Even if you don’t do it again, how am I supposed to trust you? How am I supposed to know that you aren’t keeping things from me?”

“Because I love you.”

“You keep saying that like it means something to me!”

“It means something to me! Do you know how many times I’ve told a woman that I fucking love her?! NONE! Jesus, I didn’t take the fucking money, I’ve been texting and calling you every day for the last month-”

“I DIDN’T FUCKING LIE TO YOU!” you scream at him, finally letting the tears you’ve been holding back fall. “I miss you, Ransom. I miss you so much and it hurts because you...God, I fucking trusted you against my better judgement and you painfully showed me that I was wrong! You knew all of the shit that I was going through with Jack, and you still did this! For as much as you love me, it wasn’t enough for you to be upfront with me! You broke all of the fucking rules except telling me that it was a fucking bet, because you wanted the fucking money!”

“Y/N-”

“And now you’re standing here, as if I’m the one being unreasonable, while I’m trying to figure out all of this shit! I love you so damn much and I don’t want to! I don’t want to think about you every day and miss you every night! I don’t want you to be on my mind all the damn time! That doesn’t change the fact that I do! I want nothing more than to believe everything you’re saying and take you back, but it’s not that fucking simple! All of this is so fucking complicated...you two did this! You two decided that it would be more fun to play games and bet money-”

“It wasn’t a game!”

“That’s exactly what it was! You made a bet to see if I would stay with my husband or if you could win my affection! It was a game!”

“It wasn’t a game to me! I have always loved you!”

“But the love you felt wasn’t enough for you not to hurt me like this,” you sob.

“Y/N, I will do anything you want. Anything. You can have the passwords to all my devices, you can randomly come by my house or my job-”

“It’s not enough, Ransom.”

“Then what is?!”

“I don’t know,” you answer softly, trying to fight back more tears. “I don’t know if anything will be-” “No, don’t say that. I know I fucked up, and it was a major fuck up, but I swear you’re not a fucking joke to me! I know I lied and it was for all the wrong reasons, but that’s the only thing I lied about! I love you!”

“I love you too, Ransom,” you sigh before finishing off your wine. “I honestly don’t know what to tell you, because I just don’t know. I know...I know that you care, and I believe you when you tell me that you love me...but Ransom, you keep saying that you only lied once, but that lie is the only reason you pursued me! A $40,000 bet is the only reason you finally started talking to me! After knowing me for years! And yeah okay, fuck Jack, but what about me? You could’ve told me earlier, and while you definitely would’ve had to work much harder, I wouldn’t have walked away. Now-”

“I can work harder now!”

“The damage is already done, Ransom.”

“I need you, Y/N. I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I know I never will again. I promise to never fuck up like this again, but please...” he trails off, his voice breaking as he fights off his own tears. “I didn’t take the fucking money, Y/N.” “I just need time, Ransom.”

“How much?”

“I don’t know. After all that’s happened...I just don’t know. I love you and I miss you. God, I miss you so much, but this isn’t something I can just forgive because you’re sorry and you miss me. After Jack and all of the shit with my parents...I need time. I need to be alone for a while. I’m not saying that there’s not any hope for us, but right now...Ransom, if you want us to have any sort of chance, you have to give me time.”

“With time, will you take me back?”

You stay silent and he lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Yeah fine, lets get you back-”

“We’re not going anywhere,” you mumble, making your way back to the living area.

“What do you-”

“I’ve gone through almost an entire bottle of wine and you’ve had at least 4 or 5 glasses of bourbon. Neither of us are in any condition to drive.”

“You don’t expect us to stay here?! There’s no fucking-”

“Ransom, bitch about the furniture one more fucking time and we’re gonna have a problem.”

“If you expect us to spend the rest of the fucking day here, I’m ordering some fucking furniture.” “I don’t need you buying me fucking furniture! It won’t even be here today!”

“I don’t fucking care!” he yells, sitting on the floor, pouring himself another glass of bourbon, and taking out his phone.

It’s funny how easy you fall back into habit.

After two more glasses of wine, you’re cuddling up to him and telling him what furniture what you want. You two go back and forth about what would look good for the house but, in the end, you win because it’s your fucking house.

In the end, in all his spoiled rich boy glory, he’s able to get a bed (along with a bed frame), bed sheets, two sofas, and a few lawn chairs, and four TV’s delivered same day. All because he was told ‘no’, Ransom makes the bed frame people assemble the damn thing, and you feel bad. Ransom protests when you tip them, but you told him that it’s your house, so you’re the one calling all of the shots. For as much of a dick as he can be, all of the furniture to come (and that was delivered), is paid for by him.

There he goes, sweeping you off your feet again.

“We need food and chargers,” he mumbles, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Would it really be so bad if our phones died? Would it be so terrible if we just ignored everyone for a while?” you sigh with a slur as you relax into him.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“I just hate everyone. With the exception of Daisy, everyone has been pissing me the fuck off. You know she had to destroy Jack’s car so he would finally sign the fucking papers?”

“That was her?!” Ransom laughs.

“That’s what he gets for showing up and yelling for me to talk to him.”

“Fuck him,” Ransom scowls before placing a soft kiss on your exposed shoulder.

You clear your throat before asking, “what do you want to eat?”

“What are you in the mood for?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I’m not choosing. Whenever I’m in charge of dinner, you want to argue-”

“I don’t fucking argue with you, Ransom. You just have shitty taste when it comes to certain foods.”

“That being said,” he scowls, “what do you wanna eat?”

“I don’t know,” you repeat with a shrug.

“Well, are you having a good day or a bad day?”

“It’s been okay, I guess.”

“Then lets get Gyros.”

“I hate how well you know me sometimes.”

“I know,” he laughs as you take out your phone.

Soon enough, you’re ordering everything from food to basic accessories.

“Why the fuck did you get candles?” Ransom laughs. “Your lights work just fine.”

“Because I wanted to,” you huff, only making him laugh harder.

“And the booze?”

“I’m out of wine and you’re going to be out of bourbon soon. If we’re gonna spend the night together, we’re gonna need the help.”

“Only you need the help.”

“So, you’re fine with us being completely alone together all night?”

“Babe, we could’ve sobered up hours ago. You chose not to.”

“That’s because being sober sucks right now.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry that I made it all that much more complicated for you.”

“I fell in love with you. It just is what it is.”

“I never wanted to hurt you. I truly didn’t.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”

“I know, but I need you to know that.”

“I do, Ransom. I truly do, but it doesn’t change the fact that you still hurt me.”

“I know that ‘I love you’ doesn’t mean much right now, but I do love you. I will always love you.”

“Ransom-”

“What should be arriving first?” he sighs, his hold on you getting a little tighter as he slightly readjusts his position.

“I honestly have no idea,” you giggle softly. “I ordered everything around the same time. Why?”

“I can set up on of the TVs if you want.”

“Or if you want.”

“Well, what else are we gonna do?”

“We can talk.”

“What do we have to talk about?”

“What have you been up to?”

“Not much.” “Ransom-”

“I really haven’t, Sweet Thing. I’ve been missing you and that’s about it. There’s not really much else for me to do.” “There’s the company-”

“That’s-”

He’s interrupted by the doorbell and it almost sounds as if he’s letting out a sigh of relief. He lets go of you before slowly getting up and making his way to the front door.

What the hell is that about?

“Looks like the chargers and bullshit made it here first,” he laughs as he picks up the bags off your doorstep.

“I got you a charger too, ya know.”

“You’re the only one I want to talk to.”

“What about work?”

“What about it?”

“What if they call, Ransom?”

“I’m not worried about it. Where do you want all these damn candles?”

“Ransom-”

“Where do you want them, Sweet Thing?”

“What are you not telling me?”

“Where do you want them?”

“Ransom-”

“Another time. For now, where do you want these damn candles?”

“A few in here and some in the kitchen,” you sigh, pouring yourself another glass of wine.

Great.

“The toilet paper?”

“You don’t have to put everything away-”

“I want to.”

“Let me show you around then,” you mutter, getting up with your wine glass in hand (and wobbling a little), and leading the way.

The entire time you’re showing him around, you can feel his eyes on you intensely, and you know it’s not because he wants to make sure he doesn’t want to lose his way.

“Your ass looks great in those shorts,” he comments once you two reach your bedroom, pointing out the connecting bathroom where he can put the toilet paper.

“I didn’t wear them for you.”

“You also didn’t change for me.”

“It’s not my fault you’re missing out,” you shrug as show him the other two spare rooms.

“I thought you wanted me to be honest with you.”

“Ransom-”

“Have you been fucking anyone else?”

“Why does it matter?”

“You know that I’m not, I just figured we’d both just lay all our cards out on the table. Have you?”

“What if I have?”

“I’ll kill him,” he shrugs as if it’s not a big deal.

“Jesus, Ransom,” you scowl, closing the bathroom door after he puts two packs of toilet paper down.

“You still haven’t answered me,” he pushes as you two make your way back down the stairs.

“No Ransom, I haven’t been sleeping with anyone. I’ve barely gone out. I do my most of my work from home and I watch movies. That’s it,” you sigh as you reach the bottom step and make your way back into the living area.

“I can get a car service and we can go back to my place-”

“Stop it, Ransom.”

“Do you always have to be so hard headed?”

“Ransom...don’t.”

“You and I both want to-”

“It just complicates things that much more. Leave it alone,” you sigh as your phone buzzes. “Fuck.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Our order is gonna be delayed. They’re backed up.”

“Shit!”

“I should’ve ordered snacks.”

“At least you ordered a fuck ton of water.”

“Fuck you! You purchased me a water cooler-”

“That should’ve been here by now,” he scowls.

“You spent too much money on me. It’s not even your house.”

“It’s your house and I want you to have everything you want.”

“I’m not yours to take care of,” you mutter as you resume the spot you were in before.

Ransom says nothing. He just sits across from you and looks at you with those eyes.

You shouldn’t have said it. Ransom has always thought of you as his, so you telling him that you’re not his to worry about? Not good. It also doesn’t help that he’s all you’ve been dreaming of since the last time you saw him.

Mentally, emotionally...physically.

“Let me see your lighter so I can light these candles,” you mumble, trying to fight off those thoughts.

“You’re giving yourself away,” he smirks as he lights the candles.

If he’s gonna be smug about it, fuck him. Yeah, you’ve been drinking, so that’s pushing you to make this horrible decision, but fuck him.

“You like this tank top?” you ask seductively as you place your wine glass down.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what? It’s a simple question. You’re looking at me like you like it,” you shrug.

“Y/N-”

“My tits look amazing in it. At least, that’s what Daisy’s told me multiple times. Jack even said so too,” you continue as you get on your knees and crawl over to him.

“Don’t-”

“You’re the one who said I’m giving myself away,” you moan as you straddle him. “You don’t think you’ve made what you want obvious since the moment you showed up at Daisy’s door?” you ask as you unbutton his board shorts.

“I just wanted...shit!” he moans as you start stroking him.

“You just wanted what, Ransom?”

“Don’t. Don’t...shit!”

“Don’t what?”

“You know exactly what. You think I won’t pin you down and fuck you senseless?”

“Maybe it’s what I want, Ransom. Maybe it’s what I need,” you moan as you pick up your pace.

“You’re d-drunk,” he stutters and you know he’s close.

“If you want me to stop, I will.”

“You’re-”

“I want you, I know that you want me, and I don’t care that we’ve been drinking. You love me? Show me,” you plead.

“Fuck!” he moans as he cums hard.

“Looks like you made a mess and it’s my fault. Wanna teach me a lesson, daddy?”

Fucking alcohol.

Ransom’s hands are cupping your face instantly and he’s kissing you deeply. You finally feel whole again. No, you don’t want to give him false hope, but you weren’t lying when you told him that you miss him like crazy. You’ve missed his love, his laugh, his voice, his scent, his touch...all of him.

Even the spoiled and arrogant parts of him.

You’ve tried to find substitutions for his touch, but your own fingers and vibrator won’t do the trick, because you need him. His body pressed against yours, his breath against your neck, his voice while he’s fucking you like he’ll never see you again, and his fingers entangled in your hair...

You just need Ransom.

“Ransom,” you moan as he kisses down your body.

“I’ve needed you so much, Sweet Thing,” he husks as he unbuttons your shorts. “Needed you in so many ways!”

“I’ve needed you too, baby. I love you so much,” you whimper, adjusting yourself a little so he can get your shorts off of you.

“You’re wearing panties I got you?” he groans, taking note of the of the sheer light blue panties with little flowers embroidered in them that he purchased for you about two months before your birthday.

“I’m wearing the set,” you moan as you grind yourself against him.

“You’re gonna make me rip my own gift off of you?” he pouts and you laugh as you pull his shirt off.

“Fuck,” you sigh, running your hands across his expansive chest.

“Still like what you see?”

“I love it and I always will.”

“I need to be deep inside of you, sweetheart,” he grunts, ripping your tank top off. “Thought about nothing but you and loving you since the last time I saw you.”

“Take whats yours,” you beg softly.

Once again, you’re not lying. Even though you can’t trust him, you’re still his. You know for a fact that you’ll never love another the way you love Ransom. For all of his flaws, it’s clear that Ransom has always seen you for you. He sacrificed his own happiness because he wanted you to be happy, he’s never asked for more than you’re willing to give, and hes always taken care of you. Whether you just needed to cry, needed to be fucked, needed to be loved, or needed to be heard, he gave that to you without complaint or without wanting anything back in return.

Well, nothing except your love.

In one swift move, hes got you on your back and is ripping your bra off.

God, you missed him so much.

“Baby...please,” you whine as he kisses down your body at a painfully slow pace.

“You need it, sweetheart?” he teases before ripping your flimsy panties off of you.

“I always need it, Ransom. I always need you,” you confess breathlessly.

You barely have time to catch your breath as he buries his face between your legs. He pulls on your clit with his lips while easily sliding two fingers into your soaked cunt.

“Yes!” you cry out, grinding your cunt against his face.

His grunt of satisfaction only makes you even more desperate for him to fill you with his love. The sounds that are coming from between your legs should make you ashamed of yourself, but it’s not like you’re surprised. Ransom gets you excited by just looking at you. Finally having him like this again? You’re surprised you didn’t cum instantly.

“Baby...I’m so...fuck, Ransom! I need...oh God, YES!” you yell out, squirting hard and pulling on his hair a little harder than you meant to.

It’s not like he cares.

“Still so responsive to me,” he chuckles after cleaning up the mess he made. “You want me to fuck you, baby?” he asks before slowly starting to kiss up your body.

“No,” you moan and he stops instantly, “I want you to make love to me.”

“Sweet Thing-”

“I don’t care that nothing is resolved and we don’t know what the fuck is gonna happen tomorrow. I just need you to love me, please.”

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that.”

Ransom continues his little trail up your body, stopping to lick and suck on each of your nipples, which are still covered so you whimper at the torturous pleasure, before his lips are finally on yours again.

“You sure you want this, sweetheart?” he husks as he strokes himself.

“Please, you don’t know how much...please, I need you so much,” you beg, sounding pathetic to your own ears, but you don’t care.

“I love you, Y/N,” he groans as he thrusts himself inside of you. “I love you so fucking much!”

“I just need you, Ransom! Only you!” you cry out as you wrap a leg around his waist, “Shit! You always...FUCK!”

“Feel so good, Sweet Thing!”

“Ransom...I’m so...been so long! You fill me up so...oh my GOD!”

“The way you’re clenching me...you need it, don’t you?”

“Please!” you sob, the pleasure becoming too much for you.

It’d been so long (as far as you’re concerned), you don’t even know how you’ve lasted this long.

“Give it to me, Sweet Thing! Give me all your-”

“FUCK!” you yell, gripping him tight as your orgasm washes over you and you squirt on him, more than likely making a mess on the floor.

You just got this fucking house for fucks sake.

“Jesus Y/N!” he growls into your neck as his own release overtakes him.

As you both lay there and try to catch your breaths, you faintly hear a knock on your door.

“I think our food is here,” you laugh.

“Or the fucking water cooler,” Ransom mumbles and you laugh even harder. “You hungry?”

“Only for you, baby,” you smile at him.

You and Ransom keep at it all night. It’s not lost on either of you that you need to eat, but after being so long without one another, food is the last thing you two are worried about.

“Fuck, keep it up, baby!” Ransom encourages as you continue to ride him.

“So full...Ransom...”

“Just one more time for me, please! Needed you...fuck! So fucking-” “Ransom...please! I need to...ah ah!”

“Make a mess, pretty baby! Cum for...ah fuck!”

“RANSOM!” you scream as you make a mess all over him.

“That’s my girl!” he groans as he fills you and you collapse on top of him.

“We’re a pair of true fucking idiots,” you murmur as Ransom lets out a full bodied laugh. “I miss you, Ransom.” “I miss you too, Sweet Thing.”

“I don’t know what the fuck to do...I just know that I want to be with you.” “I know you can’t right now, but you can trust me. I can be...you are the only person I’ll ever want. The only person I’ll ever need.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Sweet Thing. We should eat.”

“We should rest,” you laugh as you slowly get off of him, letting out a frustrated sigh when he’s no longer inside of you.

“Maybe I should spend the night inside that perfect little cunt,” he offers as you lay beside him.

“Fuck off,” you giggle while he gets up. “Where are you going?”

“Looks like buying those blankets was a good idea,” he chuckles, walking away and now it’s your turn to let out a full bodied laugh.

In the back of your mind, you know this is all drunken temporary fun, but for now you really don’t give a shit. Hell, you’ll take all the blame. You were the one that told him to come here, you got drunk knowing how you get around Ransom, you gave him the fucking handjob, and you begged him. When you get the third degree from Daisy tomorrow, you’re going to own up to everything.

No, this doesn’t fix everything and he knows that, but for now you feel better. You can pretend for now you’re in a house you own together, all of the shit that happened on your birthday didn’t, and that you both haven’t been hurting. For now, everything is perfect and as it should be.

“Ya know,” Ransom starts as he makes his way back in, “there is a bed upstairs.”

“Shut up and get your ass down here,” you giggle.

With an annoyed sigh, he does as he’s told, “so fucking bossy.”

“Says the man who bullied the store into having a bed and bed frame delivered and assembled today.”

“They shouldn’t have told me no,” he shrugs as he throws the comforter over the both of you.

“Spoiled little shit.”

“That you love.”

“Unfortunately so,” you sigh as you take the two water bottles he hands you, then resting your head on his chest.

So this is what it feels like to finally be home? It’s amazing.

“Sweetheart?” he calls softly as you start to drift off.

“Hmm?”

“Thanks for tonight. I missed you.”

“I love you, Ransom.”

“I love you,” he tells you softly before wrapping an arm around you and pressing a soft kiss into your hair. “Get some rest.”

Yeah, all of this is temporary, but for now? For now, it’s good enough.

**

Ransom’s P.O.V

“Don’t you have a fucking wife?” I slurred as Jack made his way over to the bar, smug fucking grin as he adjusted his pants.

The red head that followed behind him out of the bathroom subtly wiped around her mouth, before walking right past him.

“The same woman every night gets boring,” he laughed as he waived the bartender over, “whiskey on the rocks. What?” he questioned as he turned his attention back towards me. “Are you jealous that she’s all mine? That she’ll never leave me?”

“She’ll fucking leave you.”

“With the way her parents want to make sure their perfect daughter stays perfect, I know she’s not going anywhere.”

“Yeah, okay,” I scoffed.

“You couldn’t even take her from me.”

“Watch it, jackass.”

“Oh, did I hurt your feelings?” he laughed, taking a sip of his drink and looking me over.

“Jack, you won a bet, then married her, and now you treat her like shit. It’s not my fucking feelings you need to be worried about.”

“It fucking burns you that, for once, you’re not getting everything you want, huh?”

“She’s not a fucking piece of meat, Jack.”

“God, you really do love her, don’t you? I’ll make a wager with you,” he offered with a laugh. “You can try and take her from me.”

“What the fuck?”

“You heard me, try and win her from me. You and your cock seem to rule Massachusetts, so go ahead and try.”

It’s not like I can blame my actions on me being fucked up. I’m a prideful and arrogant piece of shit, and my ego already took a blow when I had to watch that fuck marry you. Of course I took the fucking bait.

“What do you want if you win?” I asked against my better judgement.

“$40,000.”

“Fuck you!”

“What? You don’t think you can do it?”

“It’s not that-”

“You think she’s worth more? Of course you do,” he laughed.

He fucking laughed. It’s amazing that I didn’t snap him in half in that moment. However, $40,000 and you? That wasn’t a bad deal at all.

“What’s the deadline?”

“Her 30th birthday.”

“Fine.”

“Aht, aht, aht,” he taunted, “they’re rules.”

“If you’re so sure she’ll stay with you, why are there rules?”

“Cause I’m not as stupid as you’d like me to be, Drysdale,” he chuckled. “You can’t tell her that you’re in love with her, you obviously can’t tell her that this a fucking bet, the shit I do behind her back doesn’t get back to her, and none of your fancy bullshit.”

“What fuck does that mean?”

“You can’t treat her to fancy restaurants, no fucking trips, no expensive shows...all the bullshit you usually pull. You get to fuck her, if she allows it which we both know she won’t, and a few sweet texts here and there, but none of the shit you pulled with Marta.”

“That’s not a fair fucking playing field.”

“That’s the bet, take it or leave it,” he smirked.

Why the fuck did I have to take it? Why do I have to be so fucking prideful and egotistical all the fucking time? What was the point?

I didn’t break the rules for the $40,000. I broke the rules because I’ve always been in love with you. I’ve always wanted to take care of you, always wanted to take you on trips, always wanted to bury myself in that sweet little honeypot of yours...

I’ve always wanted you.

The $40,000 wasn’t a big deal. What is it to me? That’s just a bad night at the poker table. I should’ve never taken the damn bet, but fuck all if I can’t ever stop being a piece of shit.

Now, you’re here in my arms and snoring softly, but it’s all just temporary, isn’t it? You’re chasing the same kind of peace and happiness that I am, but you didn’t do this. I did. You’ll wake up in the morning and I’ll drop you off, and then you have a choice to make. I already know that I’ll react in the worst way if you don’t choose me, which I know you’re also already aware of. You and I both know I’m a spoiled little shit, so it’s not like you’ll be surprised.

It’s not lost on me that you have every right to walk away from me, but that doesn’t mean I can fucking handle it. A small mistake, I guess two small mistakes, could lose me everything I’ve ever wanted.

Two stupid small mistakes could cost me everything; could cost me you.

“Ransom?” you call out softly in your sleep.

“I’m here, Sweet Thing.”

“Don’t...don’t go,” you beg softly, your hold on me getting stronger as you cuddle into me more.

How the fuck am I suppose to sleep without you now?

“Just rest, baby.”

“I love you,” you mumble sleepily.

“I love you with all my heart.”

“Promise me you’ll stay,” you beg.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

I feel you relax against me and I know you’re back to your original sleep.

You are my entire world; you always have been. From the first time I laid eyes on you, I knew I wanted to be with you and only you. Yeah, I’ve done a lot of shit wrong, but you? If you only knew just how long I’ve been waiting for you. The bet? That was just pride and ego, but it meant nothing. I just need you to give me another chance so I can show you.

Now, I just need to find a way to get you to believe that. I need to find a way to keep you in my arms forever.

**

Y/N’s P.O.V

You giggle at the sensation between your legs as you moan, “Ransom.”

“So fucking hungry , sweetheart,” he moans before licking your clit, “you feed me so fucking well,” he sighs before sliding two into your soaked cunt. “You want me to eat breakfast, right?” he asks before licking your clit teasingly, again.

“Fuck! Ransom!” you moan as you grip his hair tight.

The smirk you feel on your lips has you grinding your cunt against him, which is all the encouragement he needs to keep going.

He curls his fingers and they find that spot within you that always makes you so fucking pathetic for him, and you aren’t ashamed at all.

Last night, you could blame it all on alcohol. Today? Well, today it’s just pure need, want, and desire.

“So fucking close, baby!” you whine as he picks up his pace.

As silly as it sounds, hearing just how much he enjoys your pussy is all it takes.

“FUCK!” you scream as you coat his face and the floor with your release.

Thank God this is your fucking house.

“You want me to order breakfast?” he questions with a sly smirk after he cleans up the pool between your legs.

“Not before you love me again,” you whimper.

“There’s a bed that needs to be broken in,” he claims as he stands up straight, his cock hard, proud, and leaking with pre-cum, “don’t you think it’s time we took care of that?” he questions as he pulls you up before throwing you over his shoulder.

“Ransom!” you laugh as he starts on his way up the stairs.

“Gonna christen this whole fucking house today,” he promises as you laugh harder.

Yes, now you’re sober, so you should be able to make better choices, but it’s bullshit. Making better choices is lost on you at the moment because Ransom is all hat matters to you, and right now, he’s making you feel everything all at once.

“Need you so much Ransom,” you whimper as he lays you on the bed.

“Still the best tasting pussy ever, Sweet Thing,” he praises as he cages you between his arms. “You’re just the most precious little thing,” he coos.

“Need you, daddy,” you moan as you grip his shoulders.

“Didn’t get enough last night? Thought I did such a good job since you made such a mess everywhere,” he chuckles as he easily slides himself inside of you.

“Shit!”

“You’re such a desperate little thing, baby! Such a sweet little thing for daddy!”

“Still the best pussy you’ve ever had, daddy?”

“Always, sweet girl. Only ever want you! Jesus, the way these tits fucking bounce!”

“So close, daddy! Need to fucking...ahh shit!”

“Cum for me, sweet girl! I want it so fucking bad!”

“Fuck!” you yell as you make a mess that causes him to spill into you until it’s seeping out of you.

So much for having a clean bed.

“We really are a pair of morons,” he breathes after a moment and you burst out laughing. “We definitely need to eat. We need to order something.”

“Mhm,” you agree with a small giggle as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Our phones are downstairs.”

“We should go and get them,” he smirks, dipping down and kissing and sucking on your neck.

“We really should,” you moan, grinding your hips against his.

“How about after we make sure you really like this bed?” he grunts, starting to move within you again.

“Might take a few more times, daddy,” you moan, running your fingers through his hair.

“Nothing’s too much for my sweet girl.”

**

“You shouldn’t still be here,” you mumble as you hop up on the counter, your breakfast sandwich in hand.

“Stop keeping me here,” Ransom smirks, leaning against your kitchen island, before taking a bite of his breakfast burrito.

“You’re a very hard drug to quit.”

“You’re the only woman I’ve ever been in love with, how do you think I feel?”

“Why is this so complicated?”

“Cause I fucked up.”

“Lets spend a few months apart-”

“No, that’s not gonna fucking happen.”

“Ransom-” “I already spent a month without you and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Now, after last night and this morning, you want me to spend a few more months without you? That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“I know last night was my fault, and I’m the one who extended this morning, and I’m sorry. I just missed you so much and I was upset...this morning...it just felt good to pretend. Pretend that none of this hurts as much as it actually does.”

“Lets just take this step by step-”

“Ransom, this isn’t that simple. I obviously am weak when it comes to you and I miss you, but when the fog clears and reality hits, it all still hurts. Taking away the complete fact that this all happened during my birthday party, you chose the money-”

“I didn’t take it!”

“You still took the bet, Ransom. Yeah fine, maybe your intentions changed after, but in the beginning, the money was enough to get you to say yes-”

“Okay, just hear me out. I...I was mad, Y/N. He was being such a piece of shit after getting that fucking blowjob...it was wrong, okay? You have always been my top my priority and you always will be my top priority. The first bet was out pure stupidity and the second one...God, you don’t know how fucking angry I was. I wanted you, I wanted revenge, I wanted to fuck him over...the thought of smashing his head against a fucking wall has crossed my mind more than you think.”

“Ransom, I’m the one who got hurt in all of this. Jack beat the shit out of me, he abused my love just because he could, he cheated and lied...you know all of the shit he did, and you still hid it from me-”

“I was gonna tell you everything that night!”

“You should’ve told me before!” you snap as someone knocks on your door.

Rather hard too.

“It’s your house,” Ransom shrugs as he looks at you.

You flip him off before hoping off the counter, quickly making your way into the living area and pulling the comforter around you (as the knocking comes harder and faster) then finally making your way to the front door.

“Ransom! Open the fucking...oh,” Marta stops short when she sees that you’re the one opening the door.

“Hey...” you trail off, not knowing exactly what the hell to say, cause she’s the last person you ever expected to see at your doorstep. “Um, how did you know...?”

“His car...it wasn’t in the driveway and he never answered. Everyone knows you moved, so I figured this was the next best bet.”

“So everyone knows I live here? That’s fucking great,” you mutter as you hear Ransom walk into the living area. You know he’s naked, and the fact that Marta’s eyes follow him let you know that she knows what you two were up to.

It also doesn’t help that you’re wrapped in a fucking comforter, instead of wearing actual clothes.

“How can I help you?”

“I uh...I need to speak to-”

“What the fuck do you want, Marta?” Ransom growls as he comes up behind you.

“Ransom,” you snap.

“She has no right to be here.”

“Then maybe you should answer your phone!” she bites at him. “Would you mind giving us a moment?” she asks you with a kind smile.

“Of course,” you nod at her, standing to the side so Ransom can get in front of you.

You’re thankful that he put his boxer briefs on.

“What do you want?” he snaps, his tone annoyed and menacing.

“Ransom, don’t be an asshole,” you scowl.

“Yeah fine. Go put on my shirt or something, okay babe?”

“Don’t be cruel,” you tell him softly.

You know that he can pick up on what you mean, because he turns to face you.

“Y/N-”

“Ransom, don’t be a dick.”

“Fine,” he sighs before turning his attention back towards her.

“I’ll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me,” you nod towards Marta before quickly making yourself scarce.

You grab his shirt out of the living area, quickly putting it on, before scampering off towards the kitchen.

“What the hell is going on with the publishing company?!” you hear her yell, on your way back.

“It’s mine to worry about, so don’t-”

“Ransom, you told me-”

“Marta, stay out of it!”

You quickly resume your spot on the counter top and try to mind your own business. It’s not like it’s hard, because you feel like a pile of shit.

For Marta to see you like that and knowing the Ransom was there...you obviously didn’t mean to hurt her, you didn’t even know it was her until you answered the door, but still. She had actually fallen for Ransom and it was all just a joke to him.

It was all for sport.

Yeah, what he did to you was fucked up, but what he did to Marta? It’s not like you haven’t asked yourself a million times, but how can you be so deeply in love with someone like that? Someone so ruthless and selfish...how is he the one you’ve fallen so hard for?

It’s a dumb question though, isn’t it?

Ransom protects you, he loves you, he cares about you, he commits to you...you’re in love with Ransom, because for as shitty as he can be, he makes you the center of his universe.

“Sorry about that,” he mumbles as he makes his way back into the kitchen, clearly annoyed.

“What’s going on with the company?”

“I don’t want to-”

“No, you dodged it last night, you’re not dodging it today. What happened?”

“It’s been a rough month,” he shrugs.

“Ransom.”

“I slacked off. Got depressed, didn’t do things I knew I should’ve been doing...I stopped doing my job.”

“Ransom, this is your baby now! You can’t just-”

“I did all of it for you! Without you, it all just felt pretty fucking stupid. So, for the last two weeks...I’ve been toying with the idea of just giving it to Walt.”

“RANSOM!”

“Stop it, okay? Just stop. I know, why do you think Marta just chewed me the fuck out? I’m fucking up.”

“You can’t just do things like-”

“I miss you. This isn’t something to fucking guilt trip you, it’s me being honest. You left and everything just went to shit. I obviously know it’s my fault, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel fucking empty without you. The second you left, none of it mattered to me anymore. So yes, once again, I fucked up,” he sighs.

You hop off the counter and make your way over to him, before wrapping your arms around his waist, “you can’t do this.”

“Don’t.”

“Ransom, whatever happens between us, you’ve done good for yourself. You-”

“It was all for you, Y/N. All of it. All of it was done so that I could be good enough for you. Without you, it’s all worthless. There’s no future to set up, there’s no need to be at least slightly personable, there’s no need for any of it. I want to be someone who’s worthy of being seeing with you, I don’t wanna be just some piece of shit asshole that lives off his wife. I want you to feel secure and know that I’ll always take care of you...I wanted to do...be better for you. Without you around, I don’t give a fuck about any of it,” he finishes softly, looking down at his hands.

And that’s why you’re so in love with him.

Without giving it a second thought, you’re pulling him close and kissing him deeply.

No, it’s not lost on you that you’re the problem right now.

He grips your thighs and hoists you up, and you instinctively wrap your legs around him, as you deepen the kiss.

“We have to stop,” you breathe as he sets you on top of the counter and starts trailing kisses down your neck.

“Why? Why can’t we just pick up where we left off?” he asks breathlessly once he finally meets your gaze.

“We have to set boundaries...we can’t...this doesn’t help anything. Sex doesn’t make everything better-”

“It’s not fucking sex, Y/N. It’s intimacy, it’s love, and it’s home. I can fuck whoever the fuck I want, whenever I want. That’s not the issue here. I only want you. I only desire you. I love you. I’ll only ever want you, Y/N. This has always been so much more than sex to me. You know me well enough to know that this isn’t just a reason to fuck you,” he broods.

God, why can’t you just ever make the smart choice for once?

You and Ransom spend the next few hours in your bed making love, arguing, talking, and just holding one another. It’s everything you want, it’s nothing you want, and it grips your heart. It grips your heart because, with anyone else, this situation would’ve been dealt with.

But with Ransom?

God, he’s your whole world. There’s honestly nothing you wouldn’t do for him, and you know he loves you, but it’s not enough. Right now, it’s just not enough. You trusted him once and it backfired on you so bad, so how the fuck are you supposed to trust him now? Yes, you know he loves you and he wants an honest future with you, but you also know what the hell he’s capable of.

For as easy as you’d like it be, it’s all that much harder.

“How about this?” you sigh, sitting up and facing Ransom, “we still talk, but we don’t see each other?”

“Nope.”

“Ransom, I told you last night that I need time.”

“Okay, but then we made love all night and all day today. I think that shows that you need me just as much as I need you.”

“Its never been lost on either of us just how desperate I am for you,” you scowl with an eye roll.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am, please...lets just start over.”

“You know it’s not that easy, babe.”

“Have I ever told you how fucking annoying it is to be with someone who won’t do exactly what you say?”

“You’ve mentioned it a time or two,” you chuckle softly.

“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he smiles softly, caressing the side of your face.

“I want to be with you, Ransom,” you tell him truthfully, your eyes watering a little. “I really do, I just...I’m sorry about last night and this morning-”

“I’m not.” “I’m not saying that I’m sorry it happened, I’m saying sorry if I gave you false hope, because I still don’t know. I love you more than I can ever explain, but it still hurts, Ransom.”

He’s quiet for a moment before responding with, “you’re my whole world, Y/N. You tell me to wait? I’ll wait. You want to explore other options? I’ll suck it up and deal with it. You need space? I’ll give it to you. I thought about this until I fell asleep, and I don’t have any right to demand anything from you. You chose me, you were more than happy to be with me, and then I fucked it all up. I can’t...I can’t keep telling you that I love you and not showing it,” he sighs mournfully.

“I don’t want anyone else, Ransom. Even if this doesn’t work out, I’ll never love anyone the way I love you. Yeah, you can be pretty fucking awful at times, but you also treat me better than anyone else ever has. Maybe that’s a testament to how poorly I’ve been treated my whole life, or maybe it goes to show how great of a person you actually are, but I never truly felt loved until you came along.”

Ransom says nothing. He just pulls you close, cups your face, and kisses you deeply.

His kisses are gonna be the death of you.

“I should get back,” you sigh once you two break apart.

“Another hour?”

“This is already too hard as it is.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Ransom.”

He lets you keep his shirt since he destroyed yours and promised to send you a new underwear set even though you told him he didn’t have to.

The drive to Daisy’s is quiet, solemn, and Ransom never lets go of your hand. Every time you look over to him, you can see just how broken up he is over all of this, and it only makes your heart hurt more.

It’s not like you don’t understand where Ransom’s coming from, fuck Jack and get the woman hes always loved all in one shot, great plan.

Except for the part he fucked you over.

If he would’ve just told you, it would’ve been fine. No, you definitely wouldn’t have been happy with him, but you two wouldn’t be in the hell you’re in now. Besides the fact that he broke your heart and made you feel like a complete and total fool, everyone is in your fucking business now. When you go out with Daisy, there are stares and whispers, some women look at you with pure disgust while others just give you a side-eye and give you a smirk.

You’re clearly not as pure and perfect as everyone thought you were.

Daisy’s told you that there have been rumors that you’re the one Ransom fucked on his balcony that night, and men (both single and taken) have started feeling way too comfortable approaching you about the things they’d like to do to you. The men at work snicker at you as walk by, which is a big part of the reason you’ve decided to start working from home more, and the rift with your parents is only getting worse.

What are you supposed to do, though? Explain your side of it? Fuck no. It’s not like you even wanted people in your business in the first place, so now you’re supposed to publicly put your business out there? Tell them that your parents pushed you back into something that you tried to get out of? Your ex-husband beat the shit out of you? That he spent all of his free time cheating on you?

Why the fuck is it anyone’s business?

It’s been a fucking shit show since your birthday party and a large part of that is on Ransom. He didn’t take you into account at all (even though he truly believes did), and now you’re the talk of the town. Hell, it’s not like you’d mind all that much if he just told you the fucking truth from the beginning.

“When am I seeing you again?” Ransom asks as he pulls into Daisy’s driveway.

“I don’t know.”

“Will you at least talk to me?”

“Ransom...I’ll text you in a few days. That’s the best answer I can give you right now.”

“If I could take back what I did, I would in an instant.”

“I know you would and I wish that you could, but we don’t live in a world of what we wish we could do. I have to figure all of this out, and as you saw last night and this morning, I can’t do that when you’re around.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m too in love with you,” you scoff. “I can’t think straight when I’m around you. I act on impulse and feelings, and I can’t afford to do that right now. I had every intention of just talking to you and coming back here, but I got sad and drunk, then remembered I was alone with you, and all thoughts of rationality went out the window. I know that I’m the one that initiated last night, but that proves my point. We started and we couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. I can’t be around you and make a good choice.”

“Because we’re in love! It was always supposed to be you and me-”

“You didn’t work up the nerve to have an actual conversation with me until-UGH! I’m not having this argument with you again, Ransom. You did something fucked up, and no matter how much I understand it, it still fucking hurts. I always pick people that aren’t good for me, and I need time to figure out what the fuck I’m doing. What I want.”

“You want me.”

“Ransom please!” you sob.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you so much and I fucking swear...none of this means anything to me without you. I’ll never hurt you like that again, I’ll never humiliate you...I will never cause you this much pain ever again,” he promises softly as his own tears start to fall.

You need to do this.

“I’ll text you in a few days, I promise,” you sob softly and he lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Whatever you need,” he responds, looking away from you so you don’t see him cry.

“Ransom, I do love you-”

“You’ve already proven that. Now, it’s my turn to.”

“Let me know when you’re home, so I know you’re safe, please?”

 “All of this, and you still wanna make sure I’m safe? God, I really fucked up, didn’t I? The only person to ever actually give a fuck about me and I fucked it up.”

“Ransom-”

“I’ll let you know, babe.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Since he won’t even look at you, you go to leave, but soon he’s grabbing your wrist and you’re turning your attention towards him, and he’s kissing you as if it’s the last time he’ll ever see you. As always, it goes to far and you end up straddling him.

“I have to go,” you moan as he kisses down your neck.

You’re such a sucker for him.

“Just a little bit longer, please.” “Ransom, I can’t...fuck, no. Ransom, we have to stop.”

“You promise to text me in a few days?” he breathes heavily as he sits back and looks up at you.

“I promise.”

“Y/N,” he sighs as he strokes the side of your face, “I love you...I’ll let you know when I’m home.”

You give him a quick peck on the lips before opening the door on the drivers side and quickly getting out. You give him one last look before quickly making your way up the steps to Daisy’s house.

“That’s definitely not the shirt you left in yesterday,” she scoffs, not even turning her full attention away from the TV.

“I don’t fucking need it right now, Dais. I really fucking don’t,” you sob as you make your way into her kitchen.

“Oh no, what happened?” she sighs, turning off the TV as she gets up to follow you.

“This is on me. I fucked up and...he didn’t do anything wrong,” you try to explain as you grab a wine glass. “God, do you have a cigarette?”

“Babe, what happened?”

“Do you have a fucking cigarette?!”

“Jesus, okay! Just hold on,” she mutters before practically running upstairs.

You don’t mean to snap at her, but your nerves are so shot at this point. You need something.

“Alright, start from the beginning and tell me what happened,” she instructs, coming back into the kitchen and handing you a cigarette before lighting her own.

You really try to get it all out in one shot, but you start crying every 15 fucking minutes, which only makes the whole thing take longer. By the time you finish explaining everything, you’re ready for a nap. Somewhere in the middle of it, you feel your phone buzz, and you know it’s him, which just makes your heart hurt for him even more.

“He was an actual gentleman?” Daisy commented after a moment.

“He’s not a bad guy, Dais.”

“To you,” she scoffs and you roll your eyes.

You know she has a fucking point. Ransom ultimately hates everyone, but (to be fair) everyone hates him. If he isn’t satisfying a woman, she tends to end up hating him. Besides all of the shit he did before, he did just pay for all of the furniture that’s gonna get put in your house.

It’s truly not lost on you just how important you are to him.

“I mean...what do you wanna do?”

“I wanna pretend that my birthday didn’t happen. I want to pretend that I’m not hurt and that I can live in my new home with him, because he is home to me. I want to be with him, but I don’t trust him, Dais, and part of me doesn’t feel as important to him as he says I am.”

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but have you really looked at it from Ransom’s point of view? It’s easy to be mad at him, trust me, I wanna break his nose too, but it’s also Ransom. Hes never had a real friend, never been in a real relationship, and his family fucking sucks. You think he understood that not was the worst option?”

“He told me everything else-”

“He told you everything else because, in his eyes, it held value. He’s always loved you, so of course he was gonna tell you. If he truly didn’t care about your happiness, he would’ve said something at your wedding. Yeah, he loses points for not telling you exactly when Jack started cheating again, but at least he told you. It can be easy to say that he did it for his own self interest, but I told you years ago, I saw how he looked at you. That man has truly been in love with you forever. Once he had an even playing ground, he told you. The bet was vulgar and disrespectful, but it’s Ransom. He’s a fucking idiot.”

“So you think I should be with him?”

“I think...I think that it’s hard for me to see you like this. You didn’t tell me about him for a year, which you can still go fuck yourself for, but once you did, it was easy for me to connect the dots. He makes you happier than I’ve ever seen before, and you are so in love with him. You were never this in love with Jack, and I don’t think you ever would’ve been, even if you two would have worked out. You laugh and smile more when you’re with him, it’s clear that he gets and understands you more than anyone else, you threw all your morals out the window and you don’t do that for just anyone, and you love him. You are so painfully in love with him.

This man got his shit together for you, actually started taking things seriously for you, and stopped all his partying bullshit. Even now, when he’s rarely at a club, he’s there just to drink. Whenever a woman even looks his way, he moves to a new spot. You gave him your attention and he changed almost over night. My list of reasons for not liking him, as well as everyone else’s reasons, don’t apply to you. You are the only person Ransom has actually tried to be good enough for, and I know that deep down inside, you believe that.”

“How much did you hate saying all of that?”

“So much more than I’ll ever be able to explain,” she laughs and you laugh along with her. “Also, you getting him to buy all your furniture? Bad ass!”

“I didn’t get him to do anything. He wouldn’t listen to me when I told him not to. He just kept buying things, so I eventually told him what to buy, cause it’s my house and I’ll be dammed if looks Ransom’s vacation home,” you scowl.

“You are right. You need time alone to figure all of this shit out, but I do believe that he actually loves you. If there’s one thing you should take solace in, it’s that he actually loves you.”

“I don’t know. I just need time,” you sigh.

**

It’s been two months since you’ve last seen Ransom, and you’re proud to say that you’ve given into Ransom once.

Well...physically anyway.

It’d been two weeks since you’d last seen him, and you had just received the new lingerie set he’d sent you to replace the one he destroyed that night you two stayed over at your new house. You were already a few glasses of wine in, so you were emotional and vulnerable to say the least. You were alone and didn’t see the harm in that being the only thing you wore around the house. The playlist you randomly selected didn’t do anything to help. Every song was either about heartbreak, true love, fucking your partner senseless, and so on.

All of your thoughts effortlessly went back to him.

To make matters worse, every bit of furniture in the house made you think of, him, since he was the person who purchased all of it. As every second went by, you found yourself missing Ransom more and thinking more and more about that night. All you wanted was to feel his love, his embrace, and him deep inside of you.

By your 6th glass of wine, you’d thrown all caution to the wind.

The voices that were telling you ‘no’ didn’t stand a chance as you got on your bed and took your Scioness sucking and licking clitoral stimulator out. No, that wasn’t anything new, but recording yourself and sending it to Ransom was. You didn’t stop until you soaked the flimsy material and you were in a whimpering and desperate mess.

You barely had to wait all of three minutes before he responded with, ‘you desperate little fucking slut.’

You knew you should’ve turned him away when you opened your door to him, 15 minutes later, but it was useless. Drunk or not, Ransom had been all you thought about from the moment you got out of his car when he dropped you back off at Daisy’s, and you didn’t feel like denying yourself anymore.

“You tell me to leave you alone, but you send me shit like that? You expect me to not act on what we both want?” he husked with a slight slur as kicked your door shut, then pinned you against the wall.

Of course the both of you are drunk.

“I miss you so much, daddy,” you sobbed as he bit and kissed all over your neck.

“Daddy misses you too, Sweet Thing. Ya know, I didn’t even have to jerk myself off to that video. You’re the sexiest fucking little whore! Did you know that, baby? Watching you soak those little fucking panties...came so fucking hard!” he taunted as he gripped your thighs and hoisted you up.

“You did, daddy?” you whimpered as you wrapped your legs around his waist. “Am I still your favorite?”

“I’ll be more than happy to show you just how desperate I am to make you believe that.”

He’d only been in the house the one other time, but he maneuvered up the stairs to your bedroom with ease. His touch was urgent as he ripped off your panties and matching top, but there was also a gentleness to it. As his lips ghosted over your shoulder, his fingers skillfully trailed down your body. Every feeling you’d been craving and needing since the last time you saw him, finally felt satisfied, and he’d barely done anything to you yet.

“You’ve been on my mind since the last time I saw you,” he husked as he sat up and removed his shirt. “Your scent, your kiss, your smile...this perfect fucking cunt,” he smirked devilishly and you whimpered as you ground your hips against his. “Awh, don’t be so fucking desperate, Sweet Thing,” he taunted with a faux pout as he started to tease your clit, “you know how much daddy loves it when you make him work for it.”

“Need you...need you too much,” you sobbed as you worked on the front of his shorts. “I’m yours, Ransom! Please!” you begged, finally able to pull down his shorts.

“Tell me how bad you need me,” he demanded as he slid two fingers inside of you, but it sounded more like he was begging, and you let out a soft gasp. “C’mon, Sweet Thing! Tell daddy how much you need him!’ “Fuck! You’re all I think about...all I dream of...fuck!”

“Tell me more, Sweet Thing!” he demanded pathetically as his thumb started making little circles on your clit.

“Best...best days were spent...oh my GOD! Best days were spent with you!” you mewled as you tried to push him away, feeling way too stimulated. “Ransom...please!”

“I need you, Sweet Thing!”

“Fuck, I need you too! Can’t....can’t think straight...without you! I love you so much!”

“Jesus, give me what I want!” he demanded as he picked up his pace.

You screamed his name as you held on to his arms for dear life, doing your best to focus your attention on him as your orgasm overtook you. He always made you feel so light and happy, and that night was no different. He finger fucked you through your high, a look of pure satisfaction sat on his face as he watched come down, before he finally pulled his fingers out. He teased you by lightly tracing them over lips, but laughed as you whimpered in protest when he quickly took them back and cleaned them off himself.

“Daddy’s so sorry, Sweet Thing,” he groaned as he thrust himself inside of you.

It didn’t matter that you’d had him so many times before, you still weren’t used to the size of him and how he deliciously split you apart.

“Shit!”

“So fucking beautiful when you’re stuffed full of daddy’s fat cock, baby!” he cooed as he fucked into you hard and fast.

“Oh...fuck..!”

“Taking daddy so well, just like always!”

“So...so full! AHT! RIGHT THERE, DADDY!” you screamed as you dug your nails into his biceps. “FEELS SO GOOD WHEN YOU....FUCK!”

He didn’t slow down as he dipped down to kiss you, one had planted firmly by your head, while the other cupped your face as he deepened the kiss. His touch was always so gentle when it came to you, even when the sex wasn’t. Yeah, he loved to treat you like his little rag doll, but it’s always been obvious that he needed you to believe that you’re more than that to him.

Hes always needed you to know that you’re everything to him.

“I need you, Sweet Thing,” he whispered once you two broke apart, his hand traveled from your face to extremely sensitive bundle of nerves and started to tease it.

“SHIT!” you gasped, curling your toes as clenched your eyes shut.

“Eyes on daddy, Sweet Thing,” he pleaded as he started to kneed your clit softly between his fingers.

“OH FUCK!”

“Eyes on daddy, baby! Wanna watch you...FUCK!”

“Daddy...DADDY PLEASE! Too good! TOO MUCH!!” you cried, opening your eyes as you gripped the sheets tight within your fists. “CAN’T!”

“Give it to me, Sweet Thing! Give me everything!”

“FUCK!” you screamed as your legs gripped down on him tight, and you made a mess that covered both his lower abdomen and yourself.

“Can’t get enough,” he husked as he filled you with his love.

You both stilled, no sounds other than your labored breaths, and you knew you should’ve sent him home. You knew that you’d done enough damage, but that did nothing to stop you from saying what what was truly in your heart.

“I need more, daddy,” you breathed as you ran your hands through his sweaty brown tendrils.

“I’ll give you whatever you want,” he promised before he kissed you passionately.

You two stayed up for hours that night. Both of you ignoring the fact it wouldn’t resolve anything, and that you both were feeding into something you shouldn’t. It didn’t help that you both kept telling each other how much you love and needed one another. When all was said and done, he held you close and tight and peppered kisses up and down your neck, begging you to take him back. The best you could respond with was entwining your fingers with his and squeezing tight.

Fucking is a lot easier than forgiving.

When you woke up the next day, he was gone and if it hadn’t been for the ache between your thighs (and in your ass), you would’ve been able to pretend it was all a dream. You wanted to text him and ask him to come over so you could talk, but talk about what? You hadn’t come to a decision, you weren’t sure that you’d forgiven him, and another round of sex wouldn’t do either of you any good.

But you missed him. You missed him so much.

So, when he FaceTimed you that night, you answered. It wasn’t a deep and meaningful conversation, but it helped to kill the loneliness...for the most part. From then on, you two talked on the phone and FaceTimed every other night. Sometimes they ended with heavy breathing and him begging you to let him over, but you didn’t cave. Other times, you stayed on the phone with him until you fell asleep. Sometimes you’d wake up and the call or FaceTime would still be going on, and it made you feel so much less alone.

You keep telling yourself that taking Ransom back isn’t the worst thing in the world, but you also know it’s bullshit. Yes, you do love him, but he hurt you. He lied and decided to keep important information from you, so that he could get his way. You’d given him the benefit of the doubt before and for what? What did you get from it? A broken heart? You second guessing everything you did?

What happens if you trust him again? You already know his parents hate you (mainly Linda because she’s now dealing with another family scandal because of Ransom), your parents hate him, you’ll second guess every word that comes out of his mouth, and you know the stares will be constant. You cheated with Ransom and, according to Daisy, people have pieced everything together. To make the situation worse, Jack is singing his little sad song to anyone who will listen. It doesn’t seem to matter that he cheated first, long before you even started to catch on. Ransom and Jack were supposed to be best friends, and you’re the reason they aren’t anymore.

So many reason to say no and start over, but it’s not enough for you to actually do it.

Obviously, the whole thing wasn’t traditional or romantic, but you were truly happy. Ransom makes you laugh, makes you feel seen and heard, he loves you, you feel safe with him, your heart rate still speeds up at just the thought of him, every part of you yearns for him in the most desperate and pathetic ways, and the only time you don’t feel alone is when he’s by your side.

The man also always sends into the most mind-numbing blissed out state every time you two make love.

It’s all so heartbreaking and confusing, and you wish there was an easy answer, but you know there can’t be. If you take him back, you’ll live in a constant state of anxiety. If you move on without him, you know that no one will ever be able to fill the void that’s in your heart now.

To make matters worse, it’s raining and it’s only making you want Ransom even more. You can’t stop your brain from going back to the last time you two spent a rainy day together, and small sad smile comes to your face.

“Come back to bed,” Ransom whined as you made your way out of the bathroom and back into his bedroom.

“I have to go,” you laughed softly, “I’ve been here all day.”

“So there’s no reason you can’t stay all night.”

“Ransom-”

“Come here,” he demanded gently while a devilish grin tugged on his lips.

You didn’t even think of disobeying him, because your body was always on autopilot when it came to him. You crawled onto the bed and made your way over to him slowly, loving the desire and happiness that burned in his eyes, and didn’t stop until you were straddling him.

“Take your shirt off,” he instructed as his hands ghosted over your bare thighs.

His eyes followed your every move, and it made your heart swell to see him so enamored and obsessed with you. He’d seen you naked a handful of times, but it didn’t seem to phase him. To him, your beauty was something that would always take his breath away.

“Are you happy?” he asked as his hands traveled over your frame. “You seem happy.”

“I’m really happy, baby.”

“I wanna take you away again.”

“Ransom-”

“I miss having you all to myself. I love having you all to myself.”

“I do too, baby.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too.”

“Stay. Please just stay with me. We can do whatever you want,” he offered as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “You wanna watch some cartoon? We can do that. You wanna make love for the rest of the day? We can do that too. Eat junk, sit in silence, play board games, literally anything you want. Just stay here.”

“I’m sure you can find someone else to fill your time.”

“You know there’s no one else. There’s only you.”

“Ransom-”

“Sweet Thing, you want to be here, so just be here.”

“I have to go back at some point.”

“No you don’t,” he scowled, “but, if you must, leave tomorrow. Today is the perfect day for us to be together.”

“What do you wanna do?”

“I wanna keep making you happy. I love making you happy,” he smirked as he started to rub your clit.

“Ransom!”

“You wanna watch a movie, baby?”

“I just wanna stay with you!”

“I want you to stay with me forever, Sweet Thing.”

“Oh God! Ransom!”

“So fucking beautiful,” he cooed as he quickened his pace.

“It feels...Ransom! It’s too much!”

“You already know what you have to say to get me to let you cum, Sweet Thing,” he smirked as he easily sunk two fingers into your desperate pussy.    

“RANSOM!”

“Tell me you’ll stay,” he begged desperately.

“Pl...please!”

“Not until you tell me that you’ll stay, Sweet Thing.”

“Fuck! I’ll stay! I’ll stay for as long as you want!”

“Careful, Sweet Thing,” he smirked, “you’re gonna end up staying forever.”

“Ransom!”

“Cum for me, sweet angel. You always look so fucking beautiful when you do.”

“Fuck, I love you so much!” you whimpered as you coated his fingers and his wrist. “Such a fucking bully,” you breathed after a moment and he chuckled.

“I only use my magic powers when you’re being stubborn,” he smirked as he pulled you close and kissed you passionately. “What do you wanna do?” he questioned while removing his fingers from your cunt, placing them between both your lips and his.

“Well, right now, I want you to use me up until you’re satisfied,” you whispered before licking his fingers with the tip of your tongue, “then I want us to make lunch and watch movies.”

“All of that is doable,” he promised as he shoved his fingers in your mouth.

You two spent what felt like forever underneath the covers, getting lost in one another, before finally getting out of bed and showering together.

“Ransom, do you ever go grocery shopping?” you laughed, looking in his fridge for anything to make.

“I mean, I send someone to go grocery shopping, but I’ve been slacking,” he admitted as he grabbed two glasses from the cabinet.

“And why is that...babe, these apples should’ve been thrown out weeks ago,” you laughed, taking them out and placing them on the counter.

“If you’re not here, there’s not really much of a reason for me to cook.”

“You can’t just order out all the time, honey. You have to take care of yourself.”

“I just...it doesn’t matter.”

“Talk to me, babe. What’s on your mind?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Why are you shutting me out?”

“I’m not, it’s just...its never mattered before, so why should it matter now?”

“Because I love you and I want to be there for you like you are with me.”

“That’s why you’re still with Jack?”

“Ransom.”

“I’m sorry...really, I am. That was a low blow...it doesn’t matter.”

“Baby,” you sighed, making your way over to him and wrapped your arms around his waist, “let me in. Talk to me.”

“I just don’t see the fucking point,” he scowled, turning his head away from you. “I’m not trying to guilt trip you, but without you, what’s the point? What’s the point of any of this?”

“Ransom-”

“No one cares, except for you. No one checks in, no one calls to see if I’m okay, no one really gives a fuck whether I’m stable or not unless they want something from me, my family always expects the worst of me, because all of us are terrible people...what’s the point? Without you, what is the point?”

“My sweet, sweet love,” you cooed as you cupped his face, “you live for you, not them. It doesn’t matter how they view you, it only matters how you view yourself.” “We both know I’m not worth saving.”

“I don’t.”

“Y/N-”

“I love you, Ransom. I love you so much that it terrifies me. It’s not lost on me what you’re capable of, but you let me in. You let me see the parts of you that hide from everyone else. The parts that you’re scared of everyone else seeing. Yeah, your family sucks, but you’re not them. You don’t have to keep acting the way they expect you to.”

“I’ll make something of myself and then what? Make them proud? Make myself something else for them to make a profit off of?”

“Like I said before: you live for you, not them.”

“I live for you.”

“You can’t make me your whole world, Ransom.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that you are.”

“What would you do if I do if I didn’t love you?”

“The same shit I’ve been doing,” he laughed humorlessly.

“That’s no way to live, Hugh.”

“Because there’s so much more to live for?”

“Live a life you’re proud of. No matter what your family says or does, no matter what you’ve done in your past, live a life you’re proud of.”

“Are you proud of me?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t. It’s not about me though, it’s about-”

“Its always been about you, Sweet Thing. From the moment I laid eyes on you...its always been about you.”

“I love you, Ransom.”

“I love you, Y/N,” he smiled before he dipped down to kiss you.

You ended up having groceries delivered to his house, and you both cooked together in a happy silence. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you as danced around the kitchen in his white collar button down, and were obsessed with every kiss he surprised you with.

You made chicken and rice quesadillas, and ate them while sitting on the kitchen floor with him. Yes, he objected to it, but you were more than happy to remind him that it’s okay to not be prim and proper all the damn time. It’s perfectly fine to let your hair down every once in a while.

“You have to pick a movie,” you laughed before you took a bite of your last quesadilla slice.

“You’re the one who suggested watching a movie!”

“No I didn’t! Plus, you know I hate making the choice!”

“I think you’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met,” he smiled, his ocean blue eyes blossomed in excitement as you burst out laughing.

“Pick a movie!”

“I don’t know! I guess...’Casablanca’.”

“You don’t even like that movie!”

“How about...’The Nightmare Before Christmas’?”

“You hate that movie!”

“But its one of your favorites,” he smiled at you.

“Ransom-”

“I love what you love.”

“Does the mean you’re finally gonna love yourself?”

“Don’t be annoying,” he warned with a glare.

“Love yourself as much as you love me.”

“That’s not physically possible, even I was in a good head space. The way that I love you...the amount that you love me...I could never love myself that much.”

“Is it sad that I feel the same way?”

“I think it speaks to how much we need each other,” he smiled towards you.

You spent the entire movie in his lap, with him holding you close and pressing soft kisses into your hair. Afterwords, you both just talked for hours about everything. His childhood, your childhood, past traumas, past relationships, what you both love each other, and you’re reservations about starting a relationship (you more than him). At the end of the night, Ransom decided he wanted to finish off the night with his head between your legs, which of course led to an all night love making session, that resulted in you sleeping in. A small smile coming to your face when you woke up in his arms, while he was in the middle of a business call.

The whole thing felt like a dream.

Fast forward to now, where all you want to do is ask Ransom to come over, but you know it’ll only make things worse. Ransom has begging you to let him come and see you for the last two weeks, but you can’t trust or control yourself around him, so you tell him no. You see it every night in his eyes when you two FaceTime, but this is the only solution that works for now.

With a heavy sigh, you get up off the sofa, and decide that food will be your way out of your misery. You’re almost at your kitchen when you hear a rather hard knock on your door. You stand there for a moment, contemplating letting whoever it is, before another rapid knock has you scowling in sheer irritation and making your way to your front door.

You should’ve ignored it.

“Jesus, what do you want?” you mutter once the open door reveals a pretty wet Jack.

“Hello to you too.”

“Jack, I’m really not in the mood today, so please-”

“So you’ll take Drysdale back, but you won’t even hear me out?”

“I haven’t taken anyone back-”

“Marta was crying at the bar to one of her friends about how she came over to talk to him about the company, and you were wrapped in a blanket and he was naked.”

“We had sex, Jack. That’s all. I’m very much single and not seeing anyone. Not like it’s any of your business.”

“I just wanna talk, Y/N. I’m not here to argue or raise hell. I just wanna talk, because we never actually got a chance to. If you can hear Drysdale out, you can hear me out too.”

“Ransom didn’t beat the shit out of me.”

“You know I’m sorry about that.”

“And the lies you’ve been spreading about me?”

“If you’ll just let me explain myself....please,” he begs pathetically.

It’s not like he deserves it, but you do have questions of your own.

“The moment I feel uncomfortable or fed up, you’re out of here,” you sigh as you step aside.

“I just wanna talk, I promise,” he tells you as he makes his way inside.

“The house is nice,” he compliments softly as he looks around.

“What did you want to say, Jack?” you question as you make your way to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am, for all of it-”

“You could’ve sent all of that in a text.”

“I loved you. I love you. I just...my Mom never left my dad, and I figured we’d just make it work. My parents stayed together, your parents stayed together, Ransom’s parents-”

“So you just assumed that a toxic environment was okay?”

“I expected you to wait,” he sighs in pure disappointment, stopping at the entry way of your kitchen.

“That’s bullshit and we both know,” you scoff, crossing your arms and leaning against the counter. “You knew my parents were always going to push me to stay, so you took advantage of that. You never loved me, you loved the idea of loving me and took my love for granted, because you thought it would always be there.”

“Because you were so innocent in all of this?!”

“Jack, you started cheating years before I did! I begged you for a divorce and you refused to give me one! No, I’m not innocent, but I refuse to take the blame for everything that went wrong!”

“You didn’t do anything to try and fix-”

“No! You don’t get to yell at me and make me feel like shit! After all the work I did, it still wasn’t enough for you! Yeah, I slept with Ransom, I went away with him, I fell in love with him, but don’t act like I didn’t try to do everything to make you happy! You didn’t want a wife! You wanted a play to-”

“You were all too happy to be Ransom’s!”

“You’re the one who made the bet!”

“Because I thought you’d stay, no matter what!”

“BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T APPRECIATE ME!”

Jack is thoughtful before looking at you and saying, “I do love you, Y/N. Yes, it started as a bet, and I know it was wrong, but I do love you. I always thought...it’s all I’ve ever known. No, it’s not right, but that doesn’t make the mindset any easier to break itself out of. It started out as a bet, a cruel joke, but you made me love you. Beauty aside, you truly were everything I had ever wanted, I think you’re what mot of us want, honestly. I just...I got lost in all of the bullshit-”

“All of the bullshit I paid for.”

“I make my own money!”

“Your own money that you never spent! I foot the bill for all the shit you did!”

“Didn’t stop you from giving Ransom-”

“You don’t get to bring him up like he started all of this! Whatever I did with Ransom-”

“Like letting him fuck you on his balcony for everyone to see-”

“Where you yelled that you needed to get a whore just like that!” you snap. “Everything I did for Ransom, sexually and otherwise, I would’ve done for you! You shut me out and let this marriage fail! And for all the lies you’ve told-”

“You couldn’t really expect a clean-”

“YOU CHEATED ON ME!” you scream at him. “You cheated, you lied, manipulated me, embarrassed me, BEAT me, made me feel terrible about myself,” you trail off with a small sob as you wipe your eyes. “No, I shouldn’t have cheated, but it’s not like you gave me much incentive to try. There’s honestly no excuse for what you did! All because Ransom had a crush-”

“HE GETS EVERYTHING HE WANTS!”

“Do you even hear yourself right now?! How much of a fucking child you sound like?! Besides, what the fuck did I ever do to you?! You approached me! I’d never even spoken to you and you went out of your way to rope me into this bullshit! You made me fall in love with a version of you that doesn’t even exist-”

“That’s not true!”

“Yes it is! All of the charm, all of the kindness, all of the thoughtfulness was just a lie! All of it! It took you all of three months to cheat on me! I don’t believe that there’s single part of you that actually knows how to love and respect me, or anyone for that matter! I begged you for a divorce, multiple times, and you refused! It wasn’t enough that you won your fucking bet! What you did was cruel and fucking terrible! So yes, I fucked Ransom! I’m not going to feel bad because someone was giving me the affection and love you weren’t!”

“Drysdale isn’t some fucking saint-”

“He’s a hell of a lot better than you! He didn’t start this, you did! He didn’t cheat on me, you did! He didn’t go out of his way to hurt me, but you did! It’s not enough that ruined our marriage, and for the longest time, my fucking self esteem, but somehow I’m still the bad guy in all of this! You’re going out and spreading lies, everyone thinks I’m Ransom’s little whore, and everyone feels bad for you! Yet, you dare come to my home and tell me that your feelings are hurt because I fucked Ransom on a balcony?! Well, guess what? I let him fuck me on a hotel balcony in Chicago! I fucked him at our vow renewal party! I fucked him on our anniversary when you got too fucked up! I had been fucking him for over a year by the time you even realized something was off! That’s how wound up in yourself you were! You claim that you love me so much, but paid no fucking attention to me! There were nights that I didn’t come home, and you either didn’t care or were out with whoever fascinated you more than me and never even bothered to ask where I was! All of this was just a joke to you! It’s still a joke to you!”

“It’s not! I love-”

“Stop saying that!” you snap, slapping him hard across the face.

He takes a step towards, but you’re quick to raise your hand again, while opening the drawer full of knives, and placing your hand on the handle of the chef knife.

You’ll be dammed if you let him beat you up in your own fucking house.

“I’m a good person, Y/N. I have flaws, but I am a good person. Be with Ransom for all I care, but don’t come crawling back to me when he breaks your fucking heart!”

“I wouldn’t come crawling back to you if someone paid me to. Now, get the fuck out of my house,” you warn, fire in your eyes and scowl on your face.

Jack stands there for a moment, looking you over, before shaking his head and walking out, slamming door shut hard behind him.

You stay still for a moment, starting to shake before the tears start to rapidly fall and you let go of the knife. You blindly search your pockets for your phone, feeling your breathing start to become uneven and ragged.

‘Where the fuck did I put it?!’ you think to yourself as panic overtakes you.

When you get back to your living area, you’re quick to grab it off the arm of the sofa, quickly dialing the number of the only person you can think of.

“Hey, can I call you back? I’m in the middle of a meeting...what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Ransom asks, worry laced in every word, once he hears your sobbing and uneven breaths.

“Ne...nee...,” you sob, frustrated with yourself for not being able to put a sentence together. “Need you...shit!”

“I’m on my way. Are you home?”

“Mhm.”

“I’m on my way,” he promises before hanging up.

You make your way over to the corner nearest you and sit in it, clenching your eyes shut as you try to regulate your breathing and focus on something that calms you. No, you had no clue that seeing Jack would trigger a panic attack, the last one happening maybe a week after Jack beating the shit out of you, but you’re happy you invited him in nonetheless. You didn’t know how much you needed to say all of those things until you saw him, and you’re proud of yourself for standing your ground.

You’re also proud of yourself for slapping the shit out of him.

“Y/N!” Ransom yells as he makes his way into your house.

Of course you forgot to lock the door.

“Y/N, where are-”

“Here,” you squeak, still trying to stop your tears.

“What happened? Are you okay?” Ransom asks as he quickly makes his way to your side. You feel his fingers scanning over you, searching for bruises or scars, and you shake your head ‘no’ in a feeble attempt to tell him that you’re physically fine. “Y/N, what happened?”

“Ransom...please,” you sob as you wrap your arms around him and bury your face in the crook of his neck.

“It’s alright, baby. I’m here and everything is okay, I promise,” he coos softly, wrapping his arms around your waist, before standing up and picking you up.

You instinctively wrap your legs around his waist, doing your best to match your breathing with his heartbeat, slowly calming down as he closes your front door and locks it.

“It’s okay, baby,” he reassures you again gently, softly stroking your back as he makes his way upstairs. “I’m here now and I promise to not let anything happen to you. I’ll keep you safe.”

When he reaches your bedroom, he pulls back the covers and sets you down on your bed gently before getting in next to you, and pulling the covers over the both of you. You take note of his wet hair and you want to apologize for all of this, but you can’t find your voice or the strength. You’re using all the strength you have to hold him close, needing to feel safe and loved.

“Just rest, baby. I’m right here. I’m right here,” he coos into your hair before kissing it.

You finally feel calm enough to rest, the voices and memories in your head finally calming down enough for to start seeing through the fog. As you succumb to unconsciousness, you know one thing for certain: Ransom will always be the only person you’ll ever feel completely safe with.

Ransom will always be the love of your life.

**

3 Weeks Later

“Why do I feel like you’re not having fun?!” Daisy yells over the music, a small pout on her lips, small slur in her words as she tries to steady herself.

“I am!” you lie with a laugh, your own slur apparent as you take note of the fact that your fourth drink is halfway finished.

“You forget that I’ve known you forever! Your eye twitches when you lie! What’s wrong?! Is it because Jack is here?! I can have his ass thrown out!”

“It’s a club, Dais!” you chuckle, taking a sip of your Mai Tai.

“It’s my 31st birthday!”

“It’s not him, I promise! I just haven’t been out in a while! I promise I’m okay!”

“Bullshit, but I’ll leave it alone...for now!” she warns before making her way back to the dance floor and you laugh.

It’s not like you’re not trying to have a good time, but you just miss Ransom. Your mind keeps going back to when you had your panic attack and he came over in an instant. The memory causes your heart to flutter in your chest.

“Tell them I’ll take care of it when I get back,” you heard Ransom softly demand as he typed on his laptop. “Besides, the work on their end isn’t done anyway. If I have to tell them one more fucking time to show me the cover design, people are getting fucking fired....I don’t care! The book is due out in 3 months, and I haven’t seen shit. They want their fucking corrections? Show me a fucking book cover. It’s not that goddamn hard!” he snapped softly before hanging up.

There’s the Ransom you know.

“Did I get you in trouble?” you croaked softly, voice still sore from all the crying.

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry-”

“No no,” you reassured him as you sat up a little, looking around and seeing that was dark. “How long have I been asleep?”

“About three hours. Are you okay?”

“I have a headache,” you told him as you rested your head on his arm and sighed in contentment.

You’d missed him so much.

“I’m sorry I interrupted-”

“Don’t be. I brought you up some water. You should sit up and have some.”

“You didn’t have to stay...I shouldn’t have called-”

“Stop, Y/N. Sit up and have some water,” he urged again and sighed and gave in. “What happened?” he asked as he closed his laptop.

“Jack came over and-”

“HE WHAT?!”

“Ransom, it’s okay. Nothing happened. He wanted me to hear him out, and big surprise, there was nothing to hear. I started yelling, he kept bringing up that I cheated with you, so I of course got angrier and went off on him, I ended up slapping him and he walked towards me like he was gonna hit me back, but I raised my hand again...he told me that he’s a good person with some flaws and that you’re just gonna break my heart before he walked out and slammed the door shut. I don’t know, I guess reliving all of that trauma mentally, watching come towards me as if he wanted to hit me, seeing him...it triggered a panic attack. I hadn’t seen him in so long and it was...I could only think of you,” you confessed softly, too anxious to look up at him.

You had experienced entirely too many emotions in one day.

“You can always call me whenever you need me,” he promised you softly as he stroked your hair.

“No, you don’t have to-”

“I love you, Y/N. I always have and I always will. You think I would put a fucking meeting before you? You think I would put anything before you? You are my world and I’ll always be there for you. No matter what,” he told you sincerely.

Your heart both swelled and broke at his words. You couldn’t help but wonder if he told Marta the exact same thing when he was working to get his share of the inheritance back.

“Can you stay tonight? You being here just calms me and-”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Sweet Thing. If it makes you feel better, I’m more than happy to do it,” he assured you softly.

You want so badly to believe every thing he says, but how the hell are you supposed to do that? How are you supposed to turn a blind eye and pretend nothing ever happened when-

“Ya know, you’ve been looking sad all night,” a random man says to you, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“I promise I’m not,” you mutter as you waive the waiter over once you notice that you’ve completely finished off your drink.

“You don’t wanna give Jack the satisfaction of seeing you so unhappy, do you?”

“I’m sorry, do I know-ugh, get away from me, Tyson,” you scowl once you finally turn your full attention to the guy disrupting your evening of sulking.

“C’mon,” he smirks as he strokes your arm, “I know you know how to show a guy a good time, and I’ll be more than happy to show you a good time.” “A guy beats the shit out of me, but I’m labeled a whore for doing the same thing he did to me. Amazing,” you mutter as you roll your eyes.

“Oh, c’mon, honey. I saw you that night on Ransom’s balcony-”

“Leave me alone, Tyson.”

“Don’t be a bitch! Jack said you were an easy fuck-”

“I’m sorry to break it to you, but like he does with everyone else, he fucking lied to you. Now leave me-”

“You know you want it,” he pushes as he grips your arm, tight.

“She said to fuck off, Tyson. I’m pretty sure she fucking meant it,” Ransom snaps, pulling Tyson off of the bar stool next to you. “Fuck off.”

“C’mon Ransom! You can’t just keep her to yourself-”

“She fucking said no! Do you want me to show you what happens when I get pissed the fuck off over someone not listening to her and what she wants?!” he warns in practically a growl.

“You two are fucking pathetic,” Tyson scoffs, “I’ll find some other whore to suck me off, I’m not worried,” he shrugs with a devilish grin.

Ransom lunges towards him but you’re quick to grab his arm, looking up at him with pleading eyes, “please, Ransom. He isn’t worth it.”

Though you can see the fear in his eyes, Tyson tries to mask it before walking off.

“You should’ve let me kill him,” Ransom mutters, taking the seat that belonged to Tyson.

“You can’t beat up every guy who’s mean to me.”

“Only when you’re around.”

“Ransom-”

“Besides, why are you wearing a dress like this when I’m not with you?” he questions, taking a sip of his bourbon as his hungry eyes look you over.

“One,” you start as you turn your attention to your drink, pressing your thighs together because that look always makes you feral, “I didn’t pick out this outfit, Daisy did. Two, you’re not my boyfriend and I don’t have to run everything past you.”

Why do you always bait him? Seriously, at this point, you’re just begging for complication.

“You’ve been avoiding me for a week, and you think you have the right to catch an attitude with me right now?” he questions, leaning in and resting his hand on your bare upper thigh, and your breath hitches. “Don’t forget who you really belong to, Sweet Thing.”

“You...you’ve been seen with women-”

“Don’t. They flirt with me, I don’t flirt with them. I always go home alone, waiting for and wanting you.”

“Ransom-”

“I belong to you just like you belong to me, or did you forget? Did you forget everything I told you? Does daddy need to remind you?” he presses, giving your thigh a firm squeeze.

After he’d come over and stayed with you after your panic attack, you wanted him around all the time, and it was becoming too much for you. You two hadn’t even slept together (you two hadn’t done anything sexual in a while), you just craved to be in his space.

Ransom has made it a point in his life to put up walls and shut everyone out, but with you, he makes you his whole world and that makes it so hard to stay away from him. It’s not that you need him to be all about you all the time, but you’d be a liar if you said that having that kind of effect on him wasn’t something that made you feel just a little special though.

However, it’s so much more than that.

Ransom talks to you. Not at you, but to you. He doesn’t treat you as if you’re some object to just keep his cock warm and entertain him when he’s bored, he takes note of the things you actually like and surprises you with them, he’s gotten a lot better at talking to you about things instead of shutting down, he opens up to you about his childhood and his issues with his parents, his issues with Walt, and the issues he had with Harlan.

He doesn’t only call you when he wants sex and he respects your wishes when you say no, he calls you when he’s upset and lets you in, he calls when he’s lonely and just wants to hear your voice, he calls when something good actually happens and wants you to know immediately, he calls to ask about your day, he calls when he’s worried about you.

Never in a million years would you have thought of Ransom as someone who can be gentle and kind, and with the way he talks to people who aren’t you, you still can’t see him that way at times, but when given a chance, he truly can be. It’s understandable that after being around shitty people all your life, you become a product of your environment, but all Ransom ever wanted was for someone to listen to him and not treat him like some trinket.

That’s what everyone wants, but you definitely need it as a child.

Perhaps, if it had happened before everything else, all of this would be a lot fucking easier get past. Maybe it wouldn’t have happened at all. However, the fact of the matter is that he did lie and he broke your heart. Sure, he says that you’re not just another Marta to him, but if he made two bets concerning you, how the hell are you supposed to believe him now? How are you supposed to believe that he’s not just trying to string you along until he’s bored?

However, none of that really matters at the moment. Right now, both you and Ransom are drunk, touch starved, and desperate for each other.In this moment, all that matters to you is holding on to your resolve, which isn’t going well at all.

“Ransom, don’t fucking st-start...holy shit,” you sigh softly as his hands travels upward.

“Don’t fucking what, Sweet Thing? You’re opening your legs up for me, so I know you don’t want me to stop,” he smirks as he uses two fingers to push your panties to the side before starting to stroke your clit.

“Fuck!” you sigh softly as Ransom leans in close.

“Do you know how many times daddy has watched that video you sent? The one where you soak your panties?”

“Ransom-”

“Every single morning and every single fucking night,” he coos before biting the shell of your ear.

“Not here,” you pant softly, even though you desperately want it.

“ ‘Not here’ what, baby?” he taunts, using two fingers to spread your lips apart before easily sliding them inside of you.

“Daddy!” you cry softly, gripping the sides of your chair tight as you try and hang on.

You feel Jack’s eyes on you without even looking his way, and you know he knows what you two are up to.

Hell, anyone in close proximity more than likely knows.

“You keep making me wait and for what? You know you miss me being stuffed deep inside-”

“Daddy...please!” you beg as he curls his fingers. “You know...it’s too much, daddy!”

“At least you’re finally remembering your manners,” he chuckles softly. “So pathetic...you’re my little whore, aren’t you?”

“I’m anything you want me to be, please! Just let me...aht!”

“Don’t make a scene, Sweet Thing,” he chuckles darkly. “Should I fuck you in front of everyone like I did on my balcony that night? Does everyone need a fucking reminder that you’re mine?”

“Daddy please,” you whimper as you clench around him.

“You’ve got me so fucking hard right now, Sweet Thing. I swear to God!” he growls before biting down on your shoulder. “Go ahead, tell daddy how much you want it!”

“Need it! I need you so much!”

“Cum, like the good little girl you are, and then we’re gonna go back to my place so daddy can remind you why it’s in your best interest to behave.”

The fact that you don’t scream when you cum hard has you both shocked, because it definitely is enough to soak the little part of your dress that you’re still sitting on.

“Did so good,” he taunts “came so hard without making too much of a mess,” he chuckles as he slowly removes his fingers. “Now, clean me up and we’ll get out of here,” he snaps, shoving his fingers into your mouth while pulling his wallet out with his free hand.

You don’t even try to stop the moan that leaves your mouth as the bar tender comes over and takes Ransom’s card. Once you finish using your tongue to clean him off, you know the look you’re giving him is that of pure lust and desire, and the shit-eating grin that’s on his face only confirms that.

“We’re leaving-”

“Daisy,” you quickly interrupt, vaguely remembering why you left your house in the first place.

“You want to bring her?”

“No,” you laugh softly, “it’s her birthday. I came out for her-”

“Look at her, Sweet Thing. Do you really think she has any intention of leaving with you tonight?” he laughs as he motions to her on the dance floor, grinding between two guys while making-out with one of them.

So much for your saving grace.

“No, you’re gonna come home with me tonight, let me use you how I want to, and then-”

“You two are fucking sick,” Jack growls as he approaches the both of you.

Apparently, the alcohol has everyone feeling loose tonight.

“Back off,” Ransom warns as he stands in front you.

“She’ll always be-”

“She was never yours. The way she’d beg for me in her sleep, the fact that she never wanted to fuck you after sleeping with me, the fact that she never opened up to you like she opened up to me-”

“She’s just a slut and you’re just a piece of shit-”

“I’d advise you to use better manners when you talk about her in front of me,” Ransom warns, gripping Jack’s throat before throwing him against the bar.

“Ransom!” you yell as everyone turns their attention towards the scene.

“You stay away from her, understand me?” he warns, completely ignoring your pleas and cries. “No more calls, texts, impromptu visits, nothing. The divorce is final, she wants nothing to do with you, all of the assets have been split, so this is the last time you speak to her or me for that matter. Is that understood?”

“Ransom-”

“Do you understand me?!” he questions, gripping Jack’s neck tighter.

“You’ll fuck this up, just like you do everything else in your life,” Jack coughs, a sick smile playing on his lips.

Ransom doesn’t hesitate before landing a blow with his right fist.

“Ransom!”

“This is the last time I’m gonna be nice about it,” warns, throwing Jack down and taking a step back. “Stay the fuck away from her.”

Ransom’s quick to throw cash down on the bar and grab his card, before taking your hand and pulling you behind him as he storms out.

If there was any fight left in you to tell him no, it’s sure as shits gone now.

“Fuck!” you whimper as Ransom shoves you against the wall the moment he closes the door to his house.

The entire car ride, he was fingering you and telling you all of the dirty things he had in store for you the second you got into his house.

“Can’t wait to have to begging and screaming all night in my fucking bed. Missed you so fucking much,” he husks, hoisting you up and forcing your legs around his waist.

“Daddy please!” you beg as you fumble with his belt and undo his pants.

“When did you become so pathetic, baby? Hmm? I know you love daddy’s dick, but you’ve never never begged like this before,” he chuckles darkly as he rips your panties off of you.

“Been so fucking long, daddy!”

“And whose fault is that?” he questions as he thrusts two fingers inside of you.

“MINE! IT’S ALL MY FAULT, DADDY!”

“I’ve barely even done anything to you,” he growls darkly as he picks up his pace. “Have you learned your lesson? Are you gonna stop denying daddy what’s his?” he broods as he curls his fingers inside your tight little cunt and picks up his pace, teasing your clit with light circles with his thumb.

“Anything...anything you want, daddy!”

“Cum for me you little fucking slut! Cum hard for daddy!”

It’s not like you need much coaxing.

“All that cream for me and I haven’t even rubbed the tip of my cock against your fucking pussy? You really are the most pathetic little thing, aren’t you?” he chuckles as he pulls his two fingers from your pussy.

“I need you to fill me up, please! I need it!” you whimper, forcing his pants down. “You promised to fill me up!”

“Anyone else been in this perfect little snatch?” he grunts, sinking you down on his cock.

You whine, grinding your hips against his,“fuck! No...only want you! I always want you!”

“God, you’re needy tonight, Sweet Thing,” he chuckles condescendingly. “Did you wanna fuck Tyson tonight?”

“No daddy! No one ever has my attention! No one...no one except...you!”

“Good girl,” he praises as he grips your throat and starts rutting into relentlessly.

“Aht! Please..yes!”

“This is what you need, baby? To fucked hard and fast? Like the little slut you are?”

The only response you can muster is garbled and something between a whimper and a moan.

“This is the only time I’m gonna take it easy on you, so you better fucking thank me after I let you cum on my cock,” he warns as he starts kneading your clit with his knuckles.

“Fuck!”

You gasp and try to push his hand away, but he isn’t having that, “did I tell you to do that?” he growls gripping your throat tighter as tears start to well in your eyes. “Awh, those pretty tears for me?” he coos, licking one of them with just the tip of his tongue. “Still taste so fucking good!”

“Daddy...so full! Feels too good! Please!”

“You can still remember your manners? Guess daddy is gonna have to work all night to fuck you stupid, Sweet Thing,” he smirks, angling himself he hits that part deep within you that has you seeing stars.

“HOLY FUCK!”

“C’mon, give daddy what’s his,” he begs “give me what I need!”

You scream out his name as dig your nails into his shoulders, panting as you involuntarily grind your hips against him, your body spasms a bit as Ransom rides out your high.

God, if that was him taking it easy on you, you honestly don’t know if you’re gonna be able to last the rest of the night.

“Get on your knees and clean daddy off,” he demands roughly, pulling out and setting you down, and you don’t need to be told twice.

You whine at the sight in front of you; his proud angry red cock standing at attention, your essence dripping off it, and twitching just a little. The moment you get your mouth on him, you moan in satisfaction, eager to take as much of him as possible.

“Always such a good girl for me,” he groans, gripping your hair tight. “Now, hold still while daddy fucks your face like the little rag doll that you are,” he instructs in an authoritative tone that makes you clench around nothing.

You barely have time to get prepare yourself before Ransom starts roughly face fucking you. The last time you two did this, Jack was having friends over and you two almost got caught because Ransom couldn’t wait to get you upstairs...or for later that night.

Jack came into the kitchen looking for the good bottle of vodka just as Ransom had tucked himself back into his pants. Since your mascara was running down your face (courtesy of pleasure tears), Ransom made it seem as if he was consoling you about something. It’s not like Jack really seemed to care, which is why you didn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt when you snuck out and stayed up all night with Ransom later that night.

In fact, you’re more than sure you look the same way right now.

“Missed this fucking mouth...always taking my cock....so fucking well! “

You blink back tears as your hand travels down between your legs and starts to massage your clit.

“Forgot just how much you love being my little fuck toy. Daddy didn’t tell you to play with yourself, did I?”

You look up at him with pleading eyes, begging for mercy. Besides, it’s not like he’s not about to keep you up teaching you lessons on why you should behave.

“Fuck, alright, get yourself off. Fuck that little snatch and make a mess. Daddy’s gonna fill your little whore mouth!”

With a pathetic, gargled moan, you squirt hard, trying to maintain contain as you felt your release drip down your thighs.

“Christ!” he growls, filling your mouth his warm seed and moan in satisfaction, realizing just how much you missed his taste. “Open,” demands gruffly, breathing heavy as he tries to keep control of the situation.

You’ll be shocked if you two ever make it to the bed.

You open wide, some of his release trickling down your chin, and he slaps his cock against your tongue.

“Fucking swallow,” he demands, grabbing your shoulder and yanking you upwards.

He gives you half a second to do as you’re told before he’s picking you up, and forcing your legs around him again. You grip him tight as he pins you against the wall and kisses you passionately.

“Daddy’s tired of sleeping without you, Sweet Thing,” he broods, peppering sloppy wet kisses along your jawline.

“Please...please don’t!” you mewl, tugging at his shirt, trying to pull it up and off of him.

“Making daddy spend all these nights alone, taking care of myself...” he presses, getting his hands on the front of your dress and ripping it open, “fuck!”

“So lonely without you!”

“Yeah? Why is that, sweet girl?”

“Love you, daddy! I love you so much!”

“And you’re gonna spend all night showing me just how much,” he smirks before wrapping his arms around you waist and whisking you away upstairs.

You wish you could turn it off. How much you love him, how much you crave him, and how much you’ve come to desire every bit of his existence. It’s not healthy, the little dance you two do, but having part of him is better than having none of him. When everything first started, it was easy to say that it’s just sex (because it really was for you), but Ransom worked his way into your heart. Even on nights like tonight, when the sex is pure filth and not romantic in the slightest, just the feel of him is enough to make all the noise in your head stop.

The way he kisses, takes care of every part of your body, worships every part of your body, the things he says, the way he holds you...it’s impossible for you not to give in to him. You know that when you wake up in the morning, you’ll be at war with yourself just like you always are after you give in to him, but you just can’t be bothered to care about that right now. Not when he has you right where you always want to be.

“Pussy is too fucking good, Sweet Thing!” Ransom grunts, fucking you hard from behind as you claw at the bed.

You honestly don’t know how long you two have been going at it, and you lost count of the positions he had you in after the handcuffs broke. It’s not like you didn’t know that you’d missed every single part of him, but it helped to ease the pain a little that came with trying to be strong for yourself. However, the moment he came near you at the bar, your body and soul desperately craved him.

To get lost in the never ending dramatic mystery that is Hugh Ransom Drysdale.

“Please...can’t...I need to-”

“Need it, Sweet Thing! Daddy needs you to soak the bed. I haven’t had you like this in so long...I need it, baby! I love you so much! Please!”

You don’t mean to cry out as loud as you do as your final orgasm of the night washes over you, but it’s probably one of the most (if not the most) euphoric orgasms you’ve ever had. Everything fades around you for a moment and you feel as if you’re on a cloud that’s being charged by the most pleasurable sparks that set every part of your body alight in the most pleasurable way.

Ransom’s pornographic yell of your name is what brings you back to reality as you feel the mix of your juices run down your leg.

“You did so good tonight, Sweet Thing,” Ransom praises softly as he pulls out, catching you right before you collapse onto the bed. “You okay, baby?”

“Mhm,” you nod, trying to get yourself as close to him as possible, not even caring that the both of you need to shower. “I love you.”

“Take me back.”

“Lets not do this tonight,” you yawn, laying your head on his chest as he throws a cover over the both of you.

“You won’t answer me and you won’t see me-”

“Ransom-”

“We can make this work. You’re just as miserable as I am-”

“I don’t trust you.”

“It’s not keeping you away.” “Tonight doesn’t count, honey.”

“I’ll take you away again.”

“You can’t just take me away every time you want to fix things between us,” you giggle, eyes still closed as you make little circles on his chest with your pointer finger.

“Just say yes.”

“Ransom-”

“Do you love me?”

“You know that I do.”

“Then say yes.”

“It won’t fix everything.”

“But it’ll help with some things.”

“Ransom-”

“Getting out of this hell will help. We need time away and to clear our heads.”

“I don’t even know where we would go.”

“I do, you just have to say yes.”

“Ransom-”

“Just say yes.”

Your heart is agreeing before your mind could tell you to leave, “yes.”

“Good, because we leave next week.”

“WHAT?!” you snap, shooting up.

“In my defense, this night wasn’t supposed to go like this at all.”

“Ransom...what did you do?”

“I’m assuming your passport is up to date.” “PASSPORT?! RANSOM-”

“Is it?”

“Jesus, yes. Ransom-”

“Lay back down so I can hold you.”

“Ransom-”

“Do you want me to remind you who’s in charge?”

“Ransom-”

“Get back over here,” he smirks, pulling you down as you giggle. “I want...I need for us to get away together. Time alone will be good for us.”

“You planned all of this?”

“I had a plan, Sweet Thing. I was going to pick you up from Daisy’s party, take you to that park you love so much, and tell you everything. Then I started drinking because I got nervous. Then, I saw Tyson all over you and lost my shit, and the outfit you were wearing only got me even more fired up, and then Jack came over...I had a plan.”

“Ransom, we can’t just-”

“Trying again isn’t a bad idea. Besides, I already told you I’m not giving up on us so, if you would’ve said no to this, I would’ve thought of something else. I’m not giving you up because we-”

“Ransom, you can’t just keep holding on to hope that-”

“Why can’t I? You love me and I love you Yeah, I fucked up, but I didn’t do anything that can’t be fixed.”

“You slept with Daisy.”

“I didn’t even cum and I was soft after two pumps. I very clearly didn’t fuck her.”

“Ransom-”

“I don’t want anyone else, Y/N,” he sighs as tightens his hold on you. “I don’t need anyone else.”

“We’ll talk about all of this in the morning, okay?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, babe. We’ll try and figure it out tomorrow.”

“Just don’t change your mind,” he sighs as he relaxes against you. “I can be the man you want me to be, the man you need me to be. I just need you to believe in me like you did before.”

“In the morning, babe. We’ll talk about all of it in the morning,” you yawn as you succumb to sleep.

As a million thoughts roll through your mind, there’s one that just won’t leave you alone:

What the hell are you supposed to do with Hugh Ransom Drysdale?

**

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!” your Mother screams the second you answer your phone.

“Hello to you too, Mother.”

“You let Ransom-”

“Just stay out of it. I don’t need to hear about how disappointed you are, and I don’t want to-”

“I don’t approve of him, Y/N!”

“Well, I’ve got one thing working in my favor, because the last guy you approved of beat the shit out of me.”

“How many times do I need to apologize for that?!”

“Because you’ve apologized for it so much? When’s the last time you invited me to one of your garden parties or something-”

“You don’t enjoy them!”

“Since when have you ever gave a damn about that?”

“You insist on making the family look bad-”

“How is it always my fault? No matter what I do, I’m always wrong!”

“He’s not someone you want to end up with!”

“Once again, you should stay out of things that you know nothing about.”

“So, you’re just letting random men finger you in-”

“I don’t even leave the house! Besides, how do you even know about that?!”

“Jack is telling everyone about-”

“Of course he is, and of course you believe whatever he says.”

“Is it a lie?”

“Nope.”

“Y/N-”

“It’s time for me to make my own decisions about what will make me happy. No, it’s it not necessarily the best idea, but I love him. I love him, he makes me happy, and I don’t know...I haven’t decided on anything yet.”

“Y/N-”

“However,” you quickly interrupt, “it’s my choice and I’m done doing whatever you and Dad tell me.”

“Do you know what Linda is saying about you?!”

“Linda hates everyone, so I’m not surprised that she hates me.”

“Y/N, do you realize what you’ve done to your reputation?! I told you to stop sleeping with that boy, and now look! No one has any respect for you, your grandmother is furious with you, you’ll be lucky-”

“That sounds like a them problem! Jack cheated on me! Jack beat me! Jack lied to me! Yet, somehow, I’m the bad guy? I was a bet to him!”

“And now you’re a joke to everyone.”

“Thanks mom,” you scoff. “As much as I’ve enjoyed you raking me across the coals, I’ve got to-”

“We need you to come over next week.”

“I won’t be in town next week.”

“Move whatever you’re doing-”

“No, you shouldn’t have assumed I would be around. I don’t sit around and wait for you and Dad to need me for something.”

“What the hell do you have to do that’s so important that you can’t help your Father and I.”

“I honestly don’t know, I just know I’ll be out of the country. I’m going on a trip and-”

“You planned a trip, but you don’t know where you’re going?”

“I didn’t plan anything, Ransom did.”

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND?!”

“I knew you’d take it well.”

“What the hell has gotten into you?!”

“Once I know, I’ll let you know.”

“It doesn’t bother you-”

“It bothers you that I’m not letting you control me, the way Nanna controlled you! Your hatred for Ransom aside, it fucking burns you that I didn’t stay in a toxic relationship like you did-”

“I stayed for you!”

“I begged you to get a divorce! It wasn’t for me, it was because your Mother drilled it into your head that you needed to put up with things that you shouldn’t have, and I’m really sorry that you had to put up with that, but it’s not my fault! I want to be happy and yeah, it’s messy as hell, but at least I’m trying to figure it out! So, stop making me feel like shit because you chose a life of comfort over a life of independence!”

“Don’t come crying to me when he breaks your heart,” your sniffles and you roll your eyes.

“Well, I didn’t the first time, so I’m sure I’ll be fine without you if it happens again.”

“You’ll learn the hard way. Love isn’t what you need, what you need is security. Once you finally grow up, you’ll realize that,” she snaps before hanging up.

You sigh before throwing your phone down on the coffee table and leaning back onto the sofa.

“That sounds like it was fun,” Daisy scoffs as she brings you a glass of juice.

“Just another day of me letting down my family.”

“Your family let you down years ago. It’s only time you return the favor,” she shrugs as she takes a seat next to you.

“What the fuck am I doing, Dais?”

“Babe, if you don’t know, I sure as shit don’t. Hell, I’ve been staying here all week as your Ransom kryptonite.”

“The only way I can keep him away is if you’re here,” you laugh as you grab your drink, coughing as soon as you swallow the first sip. “Dais!”

“Yeah, that’s a vodka cranberry.”

“Is there any cranberry in this?!”

“Of course! Where do you think the color came from?”

“Jesus Christ, Dais!” you laugh, putting the glass down and getting comfortable on the sofa again.

“I was gonna just get you juice, but I heard the phone call and-”

“If she’s not happy with me now, she’s never gonna be happy with me.”

“Fuck her. Yeah, I know, she’s your Mother, but it’s not like she fucking acts like it. It doesn’t matter that she had a tough childhood, if anything, it should’ve been more of an incentive for her to treat you better, not make sure you’re just as miserable as she was. That little outburst was long overdue.” “What’s it like to know everything?”

“I don’t know shit,” she laughs as she laid back, “I just know how I dealt with my dad after my mom died. No, they weren’t the best together, but they did love another. When she died, he did his best to be there for me and made sure I never felt alone. He looked out for me. No, he didn’t deal with everything the best, but he did make sure that I was taken care of. That’s what your Mom should’ve done, not try and make your life harder.”

“When’s the last time you talked to your Dad?”

“Eh, he called after my birthday party. Wanted to make sure I was safe.”

“How is it that we’re grown ass adults, and our parents still find out every little thing that we do?”

“Cause we live in a town of gossiping pieces of shit. Nothing is ever a secret,” she sighs with a soft smile. “I’m gonna fight Ransom for taking you away from me for two weeks.”

“I’ll be sure to let him know,” you laugh, taking another drink from your glass. “What the fuck am I doing Dais?”

“Figuring out what makes you happy.”

“I shouldn’t be with him, should I?”

“I can’t say anything, because I don’t know him the way you do, but I know there’s been a change in him. No, I’m not best friends with the guy, or do I ever hangout with him, but he really has cut down on all the shady shit. I don’t know, I guess I believe him. I still don’t like the asshole, but he seems really committed to you and making sure that you understand that.”

“Why did he have to make the fucking bet?!”

“You act like Ransom’s ever cared about anything-”

“He has-” you quickly defend before you can stop yourself.”He has...maybe not relationship wise, but he did care about his family...I’m not going to defend some of his actions, because some of it is inexcusable and I know that, and maybe I am a complete idiot, but I just...he lets me in, Dais. He lets me in past all the drama and all the bullshit. It should take more than that though, shouldn’t it? All the people hes hurt, all the wrong hes done...it should take more for me to be this in love with him, shouldn’t it?”

“You know me, babe. I’ve never been in love and I don’t think I ever will be, so I don’t know how any of this shit works. However, the way you light up when he calls you? The way you smile and giggle at your phone when he texts you? The way you try to not look at him when you two are in the same space? You never had that with Jack. That spark, that smile, that laugh...only Ransom brings that out of you, and I hate that I believe him. I hate that Hugh Ransom Drysdale is the love of your life, cause he’s such a piece of shit,” she scoffs and you burst out laughing. “Make him work for it though, this trip is nothing. Make him grovel.”

“I don’t want any groveling,” you laugh, “I just don’t wanna fuck it up again.”

“I really do think you’ve got it right this time. No, I don’t like the kid, but I’ve never seen him act like this.”

“He did fuck you.”

“Attempted, I wasn’t really having fun and his mind was 100% somewhere else. I saw the way he fucked you on that balcony, I definitely got gypped.”

“You’re a fucking mess,” you giggle.

“When is Prince Charming coming to whisk you away to...?”

“I have no idea where he’s taking me, I just know I need my passport. He said he’ll be here at 3:30 in the morning.”

“He’s probably gonna take you to London.”

“Why would he do that?”

“Girl, you already need your passport, so it’s not gonna be anywhere local, and you’re obsessed with London. If I know that, I’m sure as shit he does too. How the fuck does he know so much about you anyway?”

“The hell if I know,” you scoff before finishing off your drink. “Thanks for agreeing to watch my house.”

“Of course! You think Jack is gonna come around or something?”

“I honestly don’t know, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. If Ransom suspects that Jack has done anything to hurt or upset me, he’ll kill him and I don’t need that shit.”

“Ransom talks a lot of shit and yeah, he can throw a punch, but he isn’t actually capable of killing someone.”

“Tell that to Fran,” you mutter as you grab your phone that won’t stop going off. “Hey you.”

“You should be asleep,’” Ransom yawns and you can tell that he has yet to fall asleep.

“You’re coming to get me, so shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“Why do you want me to stay away? Are you trying to get me to confess that I miss you?”

“I can’t tell if you’re annoyed or not.”

“You know that I am.”

“Ransom-”

“We’re about to spend two weeks away together, but you needed to spend a week away from me?”

“Ransom, I can’t think straight when I’m around you. Besides, it’s not like you even texted me all week-”

“Because you’ve been avoiding me!”

“Did you call just to argue with me?”

“No,” he mutters and you can tell he’s pouting, “I wanted to remind you that I’ll be there at 3:30.”

“I remember,” you laugh softly.

“Come over.”

“No.”

“Then let me come over.”

“Daisy is sleeping over.”

“Jesus fuck!”

“We’ll be together soon enough.”

“You really are the most infuriating person to be in love with.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Alright, I’m not gonna go down that road. I love you, see you in a few hours.” “I love you,” you laugh softly before hanging up.

“Alright, back the fuck up,” Daisy snaps as you throw your phone down, “what the fuck did you mean by ‘tell that to Fran’?!”

“Oh, don’t tell me you haven’t heard the whispers-”

“About Harlan!”

“Why is it easier to believe that he killed Harlan, which he didn’t, than it is to believe that?”

“You see the assholes we’re constantly around. All of them would kill for money, and I can definitely see Drysdale offing his grandfather to make sure that he still gets his money.”

“That’s why he killed Fran.”

“The fuck did Fran do?”

“She kept telling Marta that she should break up with him because it wasn’t real to him. He wanted the money and he wasn’t being faithful, and that was getting in the way of his plans. Also, he never liked Fran anyway, so he poisoned her.”

“How are you so calm about this? How are you okay with it?!”

“Because I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, Dais,” you laugh incredulously. “Never in a million years did I think I would capable of loving someone like Ransom. None of this is as black and white as I’d like for it to be. Yeah, he made a bet about me twice, he killed Fran, he’s a privileged asshole, he’s entitled, he’s arrogant...the list goes on, so that should be enough though, right? All of that is more than enough reason for me to walk away, but then there’s everything else. There’s the side that hes learned to keep hidden because of people like his family and Tommy Smotts. The fact that the only reason he didn’t speak up on my wedding day because he saw how happy I was, he was the one who told Jack to get me that dragonfly set because Jack didn’t know what the fuck to get me, the fact that he beat the shit out of Jack, when I call he stops everything for me, he’s funny, he’s incredibly sweet and thoughtful if you give him the chance to be. It’s the fact that when I’m not with him, I feel like a part of me is missing until I’m with him again. It’s the fact that he wants more than just sex and he actually fucking listens when I talk. He asks my opinion on the things he does with the publishing company, he will sit on FaceTime with me for hours just because I’m feeling lonely, he doesn’t do anything without taking me into consideration. Hell, last week, he had a bunch of groceries delivered to my house and it was everything I loved. The reason? He text me saying that he got groceries for himself and he figured he’d get some for me just in case I need something.

I really wish I could make a choice, because it would make my life a hell of a lot easier, but there are so many levels to him. Yeah, I know why he should be better for everyone and not just me, but it’s not like I don’t get why he is the way he is. No one in his life has ever given him a reason to do better, so he just shut down. I can’t fault him for that. Obviously murder is bad, but it’s not like that whole family isn’t capable of it. Linda did almost kill Richard after she found out about the cheating that went on behind her back for months. Is that making an excuse for him? Maybe it is, but that whole family is rotten so it makes sense. Hell, Walt was all set to go to jail before all the evidence mysteriously went away. I just...it was just sex for me when it all started. A way to get back at Jack for all the wrong he did and finally feeling wanted and cared about, but it was so much more than to Ransom and it has been for a while. He didn’t take the $40,000 and for as fed up and angry as hes been, he hasn’t gone to seek affection and attention from anyone else. He loves me, Daisy and I love him. God, I love him so much and I really wish I could just choose.”

“I’m sure this trip will be the best way for you to do that,” she smiles softly as you wipe your eyes. “How about we fall asleep to ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre?”

“You always know how to make a girl smile” you laugh softly, making your way over to and cuddling up against her.

As you two slowly fall asleep to blood curdling screams, your mind wanders back to Ransom, like it always does. You hope that by the end of this trip, you can finally decide once and for all if he’s worth all this trouble. Yeah, when things are good, they’re amazing. However, when they’re bad...it’s a fucking shit show. It also doesn’t help that hes never been in a relationship. However, the part of you that’s scared isn’t louder than the part of you that’s pathetically in love with him.

God, please let this trip go well.

**

“Drysdale can’t seem to keep his eyes off of you,” Daisy smirked as she leaned against your desk.

You looked over to see Ransom sitting on top of his desk, eyes on you like a hawk, as Jack going on about something Ransom clearly didn’t give a shit about, “God, please no.”

“He wants to fuck you so bad,” she scoffed.

“I highly doubt that. He probably heard about my shit show of a birthday party and is silently judging me,” you muttered as you slouched down in your seat.

“Yeah, what the fuck was your Mom on? Holy shit!”

“About 7 shots of Jägermeister, some of her infamous “happy pills”, and her catching my Father fucking the caterer.”

“For fucks sake, your parents are a fucking shit show.”

“I wasn’t expecting them to be perfect, because they’re my parents, but I didn’t expect it to get that bad. Jesus, she almost set the fucking house on fire!”

“Fuck that shit, she almost drowned herself in the pool. What did your Grandmother say?”

“Oh, she’s seething mad. I’ve never heard my her yell before, and it was terrifying.”

“Did she at least yell at your Dad?”

“Nope. My Mother knows how my Father, and she needs to learn how to act accordingly.”

“How is it that your Grandmother is worse than your Mom?”

“As if I know,” you scowled as Jennie Taggs made her way in front of your desk, arms crossed and an evil little smile on her face.

Great.

“Your Mom put on quite the show on Saturday,” she remarked as she flipped her perfect blonde hair to the side.

“Fuck off, Jennie.”

“The speech she made about your dad being a cheating piece of shit while standing on the table? Truly amazing,” she laughed.

You hadn’t even noticed that Ransom had made his way over to the little spectacle.

“Hey Jen, how much longer till your dumbass Dad gets out of jail for money laundering?” you faintly heard him ask before he casually walked out of the classroom.

Wait...what?

“That’s hilarious,” Daisy laughed, pulling you somewhat back to consciousness.

“Shut the fuck up, Daisy. Everyone knows you’re a whore.”

“Great come back there, Jen.”

“Isn’t that what you let Mr. Smotts do? Cum on your back?”

“Yeah, I was practicing for when I go see your Father for a conjugal visit. Don’t wanna end up like your old babysitter now do we?”

“Fucking bitch!” Jennie started to sob as she ran off.

“Don’t you dare go after her,” Daisy snapped as she pushed you back down in your seat.

“That was too far-”

“It’s what she fucking deserved, stupid fucking bitch. She needs to be happy that only my words hurt her.”

“Did Ransom say...wait, you slept with Mr. Smotts?”

“No, he slipped his hand up skirt while I was standing in their kitchen, his wife came in just as I slapped his hand away, and she told everyone that I was trying to seduce her husband, which of course turned into I fucked her husband, and now the story just lives a life of it’s own,” she shrugged. “My Dad kicked his ass, so I don’t care.”

“That’s so fucked-”

“Hey, you okay?” Ransom asks, pulling you out of your memory.

“Huh? Yeah no, I’m fine,” you smile softly as he gets in the tub with you.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Just a memory.”

“Of?”

“When you defended me against Jennie.”

“God, she’s such a bitch,” he scowls and you giggle softly. “What brought on the memory?”

“I’ve just been thinking about a lot of things since we got here. You brought me to London, got us this amazing suite, you’ve been amazing-”

“But you’re still weighing your options.”

“I’m not weighing my options, Ransom. I love you and yes, you are good to me, but you’re terrible to other people and you’ve done terrible things.”

“I haven’t done them to you.”

“That’s not how this works and you know that.”

“Fuck everyone else! It’s only about you and me-”

“Ransom-”

“If I’m so terrible, why do you stay?”

“Because I love you.”

“Yeah? What do you love about me?” he asks seductively, tone dropping as spreads your legs open and pulls you close.

“Ransom-”

“C’mon baby,” he coos, placing you on his lap so you’re straddling him, “I wanna hear all of the things you love about me,” he encourages as a he starts to tease your clit with his thumb.

“I love the way you take care of me,” you sigh, keeping eye-contact with him as you try and hang on.

“Yeah? What else baby?”

“I love the...the way you hold me, how you let me in and get to know you, the way...God, Ransom!”

“C’mon baby,” he whispers as his lips ghost along the collar of your neck, “keep going.”

“How dedicated you are to the publishing company, the way you’re always surprising me with flowers, the fact that you...oh, I’m so fucking close, please!”

“Tell me more, Sweet Thing.” “Fuck! You’re so...you’re so caring, funny, s-smart, honest-t, you listen t-to me, only feel whole when...aht!”

“You only feel whole when what?”

“When I-I’m with you! Jesus, please!”

“Cum for me, baby,” he tells you softly and it’s all you need to be sent over the edge.

You grip the side of the bathtub, trying to ride out your high against his thumb, but it’s not enough and you need more.

“We should get ready to go to dinner, baby.”

“I don’t want dinner, I want you.”

“Sweet Thing-”

“Feels like you need me too,” you moan as you dip your hand in the water and start to stroke him.

“Always so needy,” he groans. “Fuck it, this pussy is my favorite meal anyway.”

This is how most of your talks have been ending since you both got to London. No, it’s not healthy, but it’s not like you can ever get your body to listen to you. That’s why you stayed away from him for a week.

“Ransom! The Ritz?! Are you insane?!”

“Had to make sure I made this trip worth your while.”

“Ransom this is too much!”

“Hush,” he smiled as you both reached the front desk.

“Welcome to the Ritz,” the concierge smiled, “checking in or checking out?”

“In. Drysdale, Ransom,” Ransom said nonchalantly as he took out his card. You can tell that he’s going to toss the card, but one look at the stern scowl on his face has him rolling his eyes and handing the gentleman his card. “Have the changes I asked for been made?”

“Yes sir, early this morning. Your bags are being taken up now and everything is all set up and taken care of,” the man smiled politely as he handed Ransom back his card.

“Great, we’ll be back in a bit.”

“Ransom, what are-”

“Lets go,” he whispered with a mischievous smile before he took your hand and led you out of the luxurious hotel.

“Ransom, how do you have something planned already?! We just got here,” you laughed in pure disbelief.

“I know what my Sweet Thing likes, and I know you’re way too wired to sleep,” he smirked before turning his attention to the bell boy “Drysdale, there’s supposed to be a car-”

“Of course, Mr. Drysdale, I’ll grab it for you right now,” the bell boy smiled before he ran off.

“Why is everyone afraid of you? Ransom-”

“The Thrombey name is worldwide, babe. When I called and said who I am, everything I wanted was made available to me.”

“This had to have been a fortune!”

“Nothing is too much for you,” he smiled as a red classic Ford Mustang Convertible pulled up, with champagne flutes filled in the console. 

“Ransom...this is...”

“C’mon, I’ve got a few surprises for you before dinner,” he smirked before he pulled you close and kissed you passionately.

The entire drive felt like a dream, and you felt as if you were in a movie. Yeah, you knew that he’d been paying a lot of attention to for a while, but how much did he know, and how did he know it? You probably should’ve been worried about how he knew so much, but you couldn’t bring yourself to worry or care.

“Ransom...” you gasped as he pulled up the Royal Botanical Gardens.

“Your obsession with flowers and gardening made this particularly easy,” he laughed as he pulled into the parking lot.

“You didn’t have to-”

“I wanted to.”

“Why are you like this?”

“Because I love you,” he replied simply with a shrug, as if it were something you should’ve known already.

You were still perplexed.

The entire time you two were there, you looked around in pure amazement. It’s not like you’d never been to a garden before, but this was more beautiful than anything you’d ever seen. You’d promised yourself you take yourself on a trip around Europe when you finished with college, but you could never find the time. Then, when you married Jack, you told him that you wanted to go to London and explore everything you could, but he had no interest in that.

“Ransom! How can you be on your phone at a time like this?! This place is amazing! Put your phone away, work can wait!”

“Yes ma’am,” he smirked as put his phone away and took your hand in his, “anything you say.”

“Thank you for this, truly. Everything is so beautiful and I’m so fucking happy. I love this. I love you.”

“I’d do anything to see you smile,” he promised softly as he cupped your face, “anything at all.”

As always when he kisses you, felt your knees go weak and you held on to him for support.You swear you’ll never get used to his kisses.

“We’re just getting started,” he smiled once you two broken apart.

“There’s more?! Babe, this is more than enough-”

“Not even close,” he laughed as he took your hand in his and resumed walking the trail you two were on.

After dragging you away from the botanical garden, Ransom surprised you with a trip to the Natural History Museum (which took up most of your time because the place is huge), which was followed by him taking you shopping for like figurines and antiques, then a trip to the theater.

“What are you doing in there? We’re gonna be late for dinner,” he laughed as you applied your last bit of makeup.

You put a few loose curls in your hair and put it in a half pony tail, tying it up with a burgundy ribbon to match your dress. Since Ransom wouldn’t tell you where the hell he was taking you, you had no idea what to do.

‘Just look nice’ is all he told you.

Knowing Ransom, it wasn’t going to be some hole-in-the-wall type of deal, so put on one of your fancier outfits. Nothing too crazy, but it was definitely something you wouldn’t wear on a night out with Daisy.

“I just wanna make sure I look good for you!”

“You always look perfect, now come on.”

“So pushy!”

“You’ll thank me when we get there, lets go!” he sighed, and you knew he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah yeah, is this okay?” you asked you stepped out of the bathroom and put on your heels into your heels.

When he didn’t say anything, you got nervous and looked up only to see him staring at you with a look of pure ‘awe’.

“What? What’s wrong? Is it too much? I have another-”

“How do you always manage to look so damn perfect all the time?”

“You’re so funny.” “I mean it. You will always be the most gorgeous woman in the world to me.”

“Ransom,” you smiled shyly as you quickly looked away.

“C’mon, lets go.”

Ransom held your hand for the entire drive, glancing over at you and smiling at you every so often, you it only made more butterflies appear in your stomach on top of the ones that were already there.

“Jesus Ransom!” you exclaimed as he pulled up to the restaurant and he snorted, “how much money did you spend on this trip, exactly?!”

“I can afford it,” he smirked as he opened his door and got out, quickly making his way to your side and opening your door for you, “now, lets fucking eat.”

As you sat down, you couldn’t stop looking around the restaurant. It wasn’t anything too fancy, but you knew he was gonna spend a pretty penny.

“Hey, what’s going on with you?” Ransom laughed, pulling you out of your thoughts as the waiter walked away.

“I’m sorry, did I miss something?”

“Yeah, the waiter came over and took our drink order. I got you Merlot. Are you alright?”

“Yeah no, I am! Everything is perfect,” you smiled at him.

“But?”

“This is just so much and it’s only our first day. No ones ever done anything like this for me before. Not even close.”

“What Jack didn’t take you away on trips?”

“You know he didn’t,” you scowled. “Did you pull these tricks with Marta too?”

“One, this isn’t a trick. I love you and I want to spoil you, because it’s what you deserve and the least I can do. Two, I barely took Marta out of the state, you think I took her of the country?” he scoffed as the drinks arrived.

“Ransom!”

“What?”

“Do you two need more time deciding on what you would like to order?” the waiter asked nervously.

“Yes please,” you smiled sweetly towards the waiter before your gaze fell back on Ransom and your scowl returned.

“I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that,” he shrugged as he reached for his rye and took a drink from it.

“How can you be so sweet, warm, and loving with me, and so cruel to everyone else? Like they mean nothing to you?”

“Because they don’t mean anything to me.”

“But I’m supposed to believe that it’s different with me?”

“I’m doing my best to show you that-”

“Marta was in love with you, Ransom. You broke her heart just so you could get back your cut of the inheritance and then some. You pursued me all over a bet-”

“I didn’t take the money-”

“Be that as it may, you still made the bet in the first damn place. You want me to believe you, and you don’t know how badly I want to, but you treat people as if they’re trinkets.”

“I’ve never treated you that way. Yes, I am an asshole that’s not lost on anyone, least of all me, but I do love you, Y/N. You think I’m doing all of this for just sex? You and I both know I can fuck whoever I want without even leaving my house. You think I’d spend all of this money just get back at Jack? You think I would stop sleeping around just to toy with you? I have never put this much energy or effort into anything. Why? Because what’s the fucking point? If I hadn’t been so damn scared in the past, I would’ve made a move years ago, but I didn’t and that’s on me. However, I’m trying now. I’m doing my best to show you that I am serious. Do I strike you the kind of guy who holds people when they cry? Do I strike you as the type of guy who deals with crying at all? You are all I think, all I dream about, and all I have ever wanted and more. I know I don’t deserve you, okay? Why do you think I kept my mouth shut at your wedding? I know you deserve better than me, but now I’ve had you. I’ve spent time in your arms, I’ve woken up next to you, I’ve made love to you. I could barely breathe around you before, but now I fee like I can’t breathe until I’m around you. You have consumed every part of my life, your air in my lungs, and every other sappy and romantic thing you can think of. I am doing my best to show you that you are everything to me,” he finished with a heavy sigh. “I know I’ve never been in a real relationship before and I know that when it comes to being truthful and having good intentions, my track record is shit, but with the exception of the bet, I’ve never lied to you. There were multiple times that it would’ve been in my best interest, but I’ve always told you the truth. I’ve done my best to be patient, watch my temper, and be more understanding. Waiting for you has been one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done and is insanely infuriating, but it’s not about me. I hurt you, I betrayed your trust , and now I have to wait and that’s what I’m doing. No, my love isn’t perfect, but it’s genuine and real,” he finished softly before he took a sup of his rye and kept your eyes on the menu and wiped your tears away.

“Are you two ready to order?” the waiter asked again, timidly.

“She’ll have the Langoustine tortellini to start and the United Kingdom CITE de KöD for her main. I’ll have beef carpaccio to start and the Japan wagyu for my main. We’ll also take another round of drinks.”

“Coming right up,” the waiter smiled with a nod before walking off.

“How did you...you didn’t even look at the menu?”

“I looked at it before I made a reservation.”

“How did you know what I wanted?”

“Because I know you,” he smiled with a wink.

The rest of dinner went perfectly enough: he asked you what part of the day you enjoyed the best, what you’re looking forward to, what you wanna do, and if you had any issues with your food. You tried to ask him what he wanted to do, but he only responded with:

“This trip is all about you, babe.”

Of course, when the check came, he already had his card ready because he knew you were gonna try and pay for it.

“You’re not as slick as you’d like to think you are,” he laughed as you two made your way back to the car.

“Ya can’t blame a girl for trying.”

The entire drive back, he had that same smile on his face that he had when he drove you two to the restaurant. He looked so content and happy and it filled your heart with so much happiness. It never left your mind how much you shouldn’t be with Ransom, but the heart wants what it wants.

“You’re the one who wanted to watch this damn movie, get your ass in here!” Ransom called from the bedroom.

The second you two got back to the hotel room, you raced to the bathroom and told Ransom that you were in a rush to get all of your makeup off, but that’s not what you had in mind at all.

“I’ll be in there in a second, this mascara is a bitch to get off.”

“I don’t know why you put makeup on at all, you don’t need it.”

“Aren’t you just a big softie?”

“Yeah whatever, just get your ass back in here,” he muttered and you giggled.

You were all set to go back in there when your phone buzzed. It was an Instagram notification from Ransom. He’d tagged you in something. It didn’t take much for your curiosity to win and you were instantly unlocking your phone and checking to see what it was.

RanDry88: The only person worth giving a fuck about in this shit storm we call life.

All the times you thought he’d been on his phone working, he’d been secretly taking photos of you, and for him to post you like it was nothing, with that as his caption, well... if you were smitten before, you sure as shit didn’t know what to call yourself at that point.

“What the hell is this movie even about, Sweet Thing? I read the info thing and-fuck,” he mumbled as you walked on in black heels to match the black lace lingerie you were wearing.

“Today has been the best day, and it was only the first one, daddy,” you told him seductively as you crawled onto the bed. “You did all this just to make me happy?” you asked as you straddled him, and he reached out to touch you.

“I’d do anything to make you happy, Sweet Thing,” he breathed out as you grabbed his hand and slowly guided it down from your tits to your clothed and soaked pussy. “Sweetheart-”

“Do you really love me, daddy?” you asked as you used your free hand to pull the flimsy material to the side.

“More than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone in this world...fuck, baby!”

“Take these two fingers and show me,” you demanded as you grabbed two of his fingers and slowly slid yourself down on them.

“Oh my God.”

“Feel how much I love you? How much I need you?”

“Greediest little cunt,” he husked as he picked up his pace.

“Tsk tsk, no daddy. You said this trip is all about me and, right now, I want you to take it slow. I’m in control right now,” you told him softly as you slowly started to ride his fingers.

“Holy shit!” he groaned as he clenched his eyes shut.

“Focus on me, daddy. You wanna fuck this tight little pussy? Your tight little pussy?”

“You can’t feel how bad I want it?”

“I want to hear you say it.”

“I need it, sweetheart. Need you. I wanna bury myself deep inside you every night for the rest of my life.”

Once he curled his fingers inside of you, you threw your head back and moaned, “I’ve never loved someone this much. Never...thought you could love me like...oh! Baby, that’s it!”

“You’re a fucking dream, did you know that? Everything about you is fucking perfect!”

“Shiiit!!” you screamed out as you came hard.

“Fucks sake,” he growled as you rode his fingers through your high. “I need you, please.”

“What do you need, daddy?” you breathed as you finally came back to reality.

“To get lost in you for as long as you’ll let me.”

You didn’t say a word. You lifted yourself just a little so he could remove his fingers and you slipped them into his mouth, before you started to get to work on unbuckling his pants and working his pants and briefs off just enough to expose what you both truly wanted to take care of.

“So hard for me, daddy,” you whimpered as you ground your hips against his. “Tell me how I good I taste,” you begged, as you removed his fingers from his mouth and he let out a pathetic whimper.

“Like a fucking dream!”

“You wanna get lost deep inside me?”

“Please!” he rasped as he gripped your hips and tried to hold on.

You said nothing. Instead, you just slid yourself down on his cock and you both let out a satisfied groan.

“Fuck, I love seeing you like this, Sweet Thing.”

“Like what, daddy?” you mewled, clawing at his clothed chest as you lulled your head back and started to pick up your pace.

“In con...control, taking what you want...what you need,” he moaned as one of his hands reached up into your hair and easily untied the bow in it, unwinding the rest of your hair as it cascaded down your face. “So fucking sexy,” he praised as his soft hands caressed your cheeks before they journeyed downward, exploring and caressing the shape of you. “I love you!” “I lov...I love you too! Oh my..fuck! Daddy! So close! Gonna cum so fucking hard for you!”

“Please!”

“Aht...shit!” you screamed as you squirted on his cock, trying to keep yourself somewhat upright as you rode out your orgasm.

“Never knew you could be this controlling,” Ransom chuckled with a smirk once your breathing was even again.

“Did you like it, daddy?”

“I fucking loved it, Sweet Thing.”

“I think you should show me how much.”

“We’ll take as much time as you time as you need to get the fucking point,” he promised as he flipped you onto your back.

Yes, there were days of the trip that were perfect and ended up with you two tangled up in the sheets. However, there were also days that you two ended up with you two tangled up in the sheets out of sheer anger and frustration.

“Oh God, Ransom,” you moaned with your eyes still shut as your hand gripped his hair tight.

“Time to for you to wake up,” he mumbled against your clit before he pulled on it with his lips.

“Fuck! Feels so good...shit!”

He slid two fingers into your soaked and, as you arched your back, you wondered what you did so right to receive a wake up call like that.

What you did so right to have Hugh Ransom Drysdale so in love with you.

“Fuck, just like that...aht! Fuck!” you cried out, grinding yourself against his face while your other hand fisted the sheets.

Your pathetic pleas and cries only made Ransom pick up his pace, desperate to taste you. Once he added another finger, you saw stars.

“Fuck!”

The vibration from Ransom’s hum of satisfaction almost sent you into another orgasm.

“Fuck me,” you demanded once he finished cleaning up between your legs.

“Daddy ‘ll take care of you later, Sweet Thing. We have to go,” he groaned, looking you over.

“Please-”

“Don’t be a brat. I want fuck you until you can’t walk, but we have a flight to catch.”

“A fl-WHAT DID YOU DO?!” you exclaimed as you sat up and he started laughing.

“Get up.”

“Ransom-”

“We’ll be back before dinner.”

“Ransom-”

“No more questions. Get up, join me in the shower, and lets go,” he smirked as he walked towards the bathroom. When he didn’t hear you following after him, he threw his briefs at you, “lets go, Y/N!”

You tried to question him during the shower, but he’d just kiss you to shut you up. Every time you’d try to take it further, he’d just pin your hands against the shower wall, and tell you:

“be a good little girl, or you’re in for a long night with daddy.”

Torturous asshole knew exactly what he was doing, but you decided that it would be in your best interest to obey.

For the time being.

“Do you still speak a hundred different languages for no reason?” Ransom asked as got to the airport.

“I didn’t learn them for no reason. It’s rude to go to another country and expect them to speak English.”

“English is the number one language in the world, and you didn’t answer my question.”

“It’s still rude, Ransom, and yes, I do.”

“Good, it’ll come in handy in Italy.”

“ITALY?!”

“I really do enjoy exciting you,” he chuckled as he pulled into a parking space.

“Ransom-” “Flight to catch, lets go.”

Everything was fine initially. You practically bouncing the entire flight, Ransom was happy because you were happy, and you two continued to learn more about each other. When the plane landed, you practically ran off and Ransom had to keep his arm around your waist to keep you close.

Once again, he surprised with just how much he’d been paying attention.

“You’re taking me shopping in Milan?!”

“Shopping, site seeing, and lunch.”

“You have to let me get you something!”

“What did I tell you our first night in London?”

“Baby-”

“You have all this money and you spend it on everyone else, I know for a fact that Jack never spoiled you, and your parents treat you like you’re a fucking show pony. Yeah, Daisy takes you on trips, but I know you don’t let her spoil you-”

“Who spoils you?”

“You love me and that’s all I need.”

“You’re working hard for that yes, Drysdale,” you teased as you two walked out of the airport hand-in-hand.

Everything was perfect up until lunch.

“I don’t give a fuck that Walt told you to call me! Did I not leave specific instructions to not call me until I get back?...I don’t care that he threatened to fire you! Besides, it’s not bad enough that you called, but you called with bad news!...It’s not hard for deadlines to be met, so what the hell is wrong with everyone that works for this company?! Ya know, you don’t have to worry about Walt firing you, cause I’m doing it now. Pack up your desk and good luck finding a job somewhere else, especially if you try to use me a fucking reference!” Ransom snapped before he hung up. “Everyone is a fucking idiot, I swear to God...oh, why are you looking at me like that?!”

“Because you’re being an asshole?”

“How am I being an asshole?! I told him-”

“Walt threatened to fire him! He was scared-”

“I told everyone not to call me until I got back. It’s not my fault that Walt is incompetent!”

“Okay, whatever,” you muttered as you reached for your glass of champagne.

“How are you mad at me right now?!”

“Don’t act like you don’t know you’re being a complete and total dick right now, Ransom.”

“It’s my company-”

“That you weaseled your way into.”

“Don’t be a bitch about it, Y/N.”

“Okay, we’re done talking about this.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

You two barely spoke to each other for the rest of the time spent in Milan, you refused to let him touch you on the flight back, and the second you two got back to the hotel room, you stormed off into the living area. By the time he was ready for dinner, you were in your pyjamas.

“You know you aren’t going to bed. It’s too early,” he sighed as he walked into the bedroom.

“I don’t know what else there is to do,” you shrugged as you continued to flip through channels.

“You need to eat dinner and I made reservation at-”

“Well, since I’m a bitch and you’re an asshole-”

“You know I didn’t mean it-”

“Well, I meant it about you being an asshole!”

“Stop it, okay? I’m sorry. I ruined the trip and I know you’re right, okay?”

“As long as you fucking know. I don’t want to have dinner with you anyway.”

“Yes you do.”

“No, I actually don’t.”

“Stop being so fucking stubborn,” he muttered as he made his way over to the side of bed you were on and sat next to you. “I really am sorry,” he said sincerely as he scooped you onto his lap.

“You can’t keep letting your temper get the best of you.”

“I’m working on it, okay? This is the first time I’ve ever had someone in my life to truly keep me in check.”

“You tell me you love me and then-”

“I do love you. I was just irritated. I was annoyed, because I know Walt did that on purpose. The fact that I run the company infuriates him, and the fact that Marta just handed it over to me only makes it that much worse. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you and I didn’t mean to. I really am sorry,” he promised sincerely.

“You’re gonna have to take me back to Milan to make it up to me,” you pouted and he chuckled.

“Just tell me when and we’ll go.”

“You can’t keep acting like this, Ransom. I know things were tough, but that’s no reason for you to take it out on everyone else. At some point, you really have to grow up.”

“I know, I know. I’m working on it. I’ll send the kid a text and let him know that he can have his job back if he wants it, and I’ll even apologize.”

“Don’t just tell me what I wanna hear.”

“I know better than to ever do that,” he scoffed as he kissed your forehead. “I know it means a lot to you, so-”

“It should mean a lot to you too.”

“People don’t matter to me-”

“I matter to you-”

“Which is why I’m trying-”

“I can’t be the only person who means something to you. I can’t be the only reason you try.”

“You can’t expect change over night. I’m trying and I need you to be patient with me.”

“I’m trying. I know that you’re capable of being a great guy-”

“But you also have to accept that there are some parts of me you’re just not going to like.”

“That sounds a lot like you coping out of trying.”

“No, that’s me being honest about the fact that there are certain things that I just can’t change. I’ve been this way for a while, and while it’s not impossible for me to change certain things, there are things that are just embedded in my DNA. You didn’t fall in love with me because I’m some boy scout. Fuck, I told you I murdered Fran and you’re still here. No, I don’t plan on planning on murdering anyone else, as long as they’re good to you, but we both know there’s a dark side to me that will always be there. You have to accept that part of me.”

You hated that he had a point.

“Ransom, I can accept a certain amount of darkness, but it can’t all be dark. You’ve gotta get your shit together.”

“And you’ve gotta accept that this isn’t some cookie cutter relationship. You have to accept that there are parts of me that you aren’t always going to like.”

“Ransom-”

“You know who and how I am. There can be light, but you know that there can be dark. I’ll do my best to be my best for you, but it’s not always going to be sunshine and rainbows. I’m an asshole, I’m unforgiving, and I’m unapologetic. You’re the only person I want to work on those things for and I don’t feel the need, right now, to spread that feeling of understanding to anyone else.”

“Ransom-”

“You can’t force me to change over night, Y/N. It’s just not gonna work. I love you, but I’m not God and I’m nowhere near attempting to be perfect. I love you and I want to be with you, but you have to accept that I come with flaws.”

You took a moment to think all of it over before you responded with, “I can’t tell you that I’m willing to accept all of the bad that comes with a little bit of good, but I want to try. I love you too much to not try.”

“So...are you finally saying-”

“No,” you quickly interjected with a laugh, “especially after today, you don’t get to call me your girlfriend so easily, but I am willing to explore this further.” “I’ll take what I can get,” he sighed as he kissed your shoulder.

“I’ll get dressed and we can go-”

“Not really in the mood to go out right now,” he murmured against your shoulder, as his hand traveled up your night shirt and pinched your nipple.

“Ransom,” you gasped, arching your back as you leaned against him.

“I honestly don’t give a fuck about making anyone else mad or upset, but you...will you let daddy show you just how sorry he is?”

“You can do whatever you want,” you whimpered as he ripped your panties off.

No matter how the days went, they always ended the same: Ransom deep inside of you, telling you just how much he loves and needs you.

Tonight is no different.

“Come on, Sweet Thing! I know this cunt can give me your sweet cream one more time!”

The best you can respond with is a garbled moaned as you strangle your hands strangle the pillows.

“Aw, did daddy fuck his little girl stupid?” he chuckles, slapping your ass hard while he continues to fuck into you relentlessly from behind. “Fucked so good you went numb?”

Ransom wasted no time getting you from the bathtub to the bed, and you don’t even remember how long ago that was, all you know is that you feel like you’re in heaven.

“Give it to me! Be the perfect little whore and give your daddy what wants,” he growls as he reaches around and grips your throat.

“Fuck!”

“Feel good? Having me deep inside you with this fat cock?”

“Too...too-”

“So fucked out,” he chuckles darkly as he grips your hair, puling you up right, “daddy wants another orgasm,” he whispers harshly in your ear.

“B-bite...please...my neck!”

“Anything for my sweet girl,” he husks before biting down on your sweet spot.

“FUCKING SHIT!” you scream out, squirting hard as you reach around and grip his waist.

Ransom follows with a loud, “FUCK!” as he lets go of your hair and you fall onto the bed unceremoniously. “Shit! I’m sorry-”

“I’m perfect,” you mumble, gripping a pillow as you try to find your way through the euphoric cloud he put you in.

“You promise?”

“You’ve been rougher than that, I’m fine,” you giggle softly. “I’m more than sure we missed our reservation though,” you whine as he pulls out.

“I’ll order up room service and make it up to you tomorrow,” he promises as he lays down next to you.

“You don’t have to make anything up to me.”

“You’ll see tomorrow,” he promises before kissing the top of your forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

“You better. Now,” he starts as he pulls his phone off the nightstand and clicking through a few things, “what overpriced meal do you want for dinner?” he mutters as you burst out laugh and cuddle up to him.

Sometimes, just fucking sometimes, Hugh Ransom Drysdale is a dream come true.

**

“You haven’t said shit for almost the entire train ride,” Ransom laughs as you continue to look out the window.

“You’re taking me to Paris! Ransom!”

“It’s our last day, I wanted to make sure you enjoyed it,” he shrugs as he wraps an arm around your shoulder.

“I’ve loved this entire trip, you didn’t have to do this”

“I fucked up Milan.”

“You already said you’re gonna make it up to me.”

“Count this as part of that.”

“Ransom-”

“Just let me love and spoil you,” he interrupts with a laugh before kissing you passionately. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

God, you’re living an absolute dream right now.

Shopping in Paris is another thing you’d dreamed of, and promised yourself you’d do. Not even for anything selfish, it’s just something you’ve always wanted to do. Now, you’re here with Ransom and nothing is off limits.

“Ransom, no! Put it back!” you whisper as Ransom picks up a $1,500 dress.

“Try it on,” he laughs.

“No! That’s way too much for a dress!”

“You want it.”

“I don’t need it!”

“You can either try it on to make sure it fits, or I’ll just sent to your house and you can deal with alterations in Massachusetts.”

“Ransom-”

“It’s okay to have nice things, Sweet Thing.”

“Not this nice!”

“Try it on,” he laughs, handing you the dress.

“You’re letting me buy you an overpriced watch or something before we leave Paris,” you mutter, begrudgingly taking the dress and walking off in the direction of the dressing rooms.

As get out of your clothes, and carefully slip into the dress, you think about the last two weeks. Maybe being with Ransom won’t be the worst thing. Yes, he’s definitely going to have to tone it down on the gifts, but he’s not completely terrible. Besides, unlike Jack, he’s not hiding anything from you. Hes laid everything out in front of you; the good and the bad. Plus, it’s not like he hasn’t told you that he’ll try, and you can’t help but believe him. No, he isn’t some knight in shining armor, but you knew that when all of this started what feels like forever ago.

“Well, what do you think of it?” Ransom asks, coming into the dressing room.

“You can’t be in here!” you whisper yell and he chuckles.

“I think I want to rip it off of you and fuck you senseless.”

“Ransom!”

“I’ll behave...for now. Do you like it?”

“You don’t think it’s too tight?”

“It’s making my pants too tight.”

“Stop,” you laugh as you playfully shove him. “I like it. I’m only wearing it when I’m with you though.”

“I’m only letting you wear it when I’m with you. Now, get changed so I can spoil you some more.”

“You spoil me too much.”

“Get used to it, Sweet Thing.”

“We’re setting a spending cap for you. Now, get out so I can change.”

“I’m here to make sure no one gets in,” he smirks.

“Ransom.”

“Be a good girl and change so we can go.”

You swear there’s a raging devil in him at all times.

“Fuck,” he sighs once he sees you in your red lace lingerie set, his fingers ghosting along your torso.

“Don’t start,” you whimper pathetically, not even believing yourself, “you just had me this morning.”

“As if once a day is enough,” he murmurs as he pulls you close, “I always want you.”

“Ransom-” “Like I said, I’ll be good...for now,” he tells you with a foreboding tone as he let go of you.

“What do you have planned?” you ask as you quickly pull your shorts up. “Don’t worry about it. Now, hurry up and finish getting dressed so we can go. Daddy has a lot he wants to get done for his little princess today.”

“You are nothing but trouble.”

“And you love it,” he smirks, biting his bottom lip as you pull your tank top on. “Should’ve just kept you in bed all day.”

“Stop being a menace,” you whine and he laughs. “Thank you, Ransom. For all of this. These last two weeks have been perfect, and while I’m not used to anything on this scale, it’s been amazing. I love you so much and I’m so happy.”

“I wanna make you this happy forever.”

“Maybe you’ll get the chance to,” you smile as you grab the dress and make your way out.

You told Ransom that you were happy with just the dress, but he still insisted upon getting you a diamond bracelet and diamond choker to match. When you try to protest, he basically ignores you as he put his card on the table and tells you to ‘just accept it’.

It’s not like you have much of a choice.

“Okay, you’ve gotta explain it to me,” Ransom sighs as you two sit in the back of the car service her ordered.

“Explain what?”

“You have all this money and never spend it on yourself.”

“Oh,” you giggle as you lay your head on his shoulder, “I don’t know, I just don’t see the need to, I guess.”

“No, I know you too well. What’s the reason?”

“It’s just...no one we know is happy. The happiest person I know is Daisy, which is really fucking sad, because she’s just as sad and depressed as I am. She just drinks and fucks it away. I’m happiest when I’m helping others. The homeless, charities, soup kitchens...I don’t see the point in having a bunch of materialistic things when it doesn’t bring me joy. I have everything I need, so what’s the point of buying things I want?”

“You can still take yourself on trips and-”

“That would make me feel too much like my mom,” you scoff, “that’s how she dealt with everything. My Father cheating? A trip. My Grandmother giving her shit? A trip. Someone dying? A trip. Her response to everything is a trip, and I wouldn’t see a problem with it, except that with every trip, she became less and less of a Mom. My mom. She just became a shell of herself. After my infamous 16th birthday party, she took another trip. It lasted for two months. She left me alone to deal with everything and I hadn’t even done anything wrong. So no, I can’t associate trips with “self-care”, I associate them with trauma,” you laugh humorlessly.

“You came on this one.”

“Ah, but there are multiple factors to this one, Mr. Drysdale,” you smirk. “One, I would’ve felt terrible not going, because you planned all of this, so I already knew you’d spent entirely too much money on me. Two, I’m not alone. I’m with you and I love you. Three, I didn’t come along because I’m sad or running from something. If anything, I’m trying to figure us out and I’m happy to be here with you.”

“You are?”

“Ransom, I may be soft, but I still have a mind of my own. If I didn’t wanna be here, I wouldn’t be.”

“You love me enough to give me a real chance?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Does that mean...?”

“It means that things are leaning more towards your favor than not, but we’ll wait until we get home.”

“That sounds promising.”

“Don’t get too far ahead of yourself,” you laugh as he kisses your forehead. “If I weren’t so damn happy, this would remind me of the time when my Mother left because-”

“We are here,” the driver announces as he comes to a stop and smiles at the both of you. “Such a young and lovely couple, I wish you all the best!”

“Thank you, we need all the help we can get,” you laugh with a smile, opening the door and getting out before Ransom has a chance to give some snarky response.

“Always stealing my thunder,” Ransom mutters as he follows your lead.

“I’m making the world a better pl-THE PALACE OF VERSAILLES?!”

“The trip wouldn’t have been complete without it.”

“Ransom-”

“It’s a tour, Sweet Thing. Everyone does it.”

“Honey-”

“Just enjoy it,” he laughs, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and dipping down to kiss your temple.

It’s not like it was hard.

You barely pay any attention to Ransom as practically skip from room to room, taking in the history of each room, and Ransom is fine to let you do that until hes had enough.

“What are you doing?!” you whisper yell as Ransom pulls you into a random room.

They’re all random since you’ve never been there.

“I told you that I’d behave until a certain point,” he smirks, kicking the door closed before he pinned you against the wall.

He would kick something in the fucking Palace of Versailles.

“Ransom-”

“I thought you loved making historical moments,” he chuckles as he undoes your shorts.

“They’ve probably got security cameras in here! We can’t...oh my GOD!” you mewl as he starts to play with your clit; his thumb being one of the most vicious toys that he uses.

His tongue being number one.

“Oh...fuck!”

“Be quiet or they’ll catch us,” he chuckles before starting to bite and suck on your neck.

“Daddy!” you mewl as softly as you can.

“Want me to make it all better?”

“Please!”

“Remember, Sweet Thing,” he coos as he gets on his knees and rips your panties off, “you gotta be quiet.”

And with that, he dives in like he hasn’t eaten a meal in years.

“Oh...oh shit! Ransom,” you whimper as you look down at him, his eyes telling you just how much he’s getting off on this. How much he needs it.

All he wants is to have the taste of you in his mouth all day, and you’re more than happy to give that to him. Two of his fingers tease your entrance and you do all you can to not scream and beg him to fuck you with them, and the devilish glint in his eyes lets you know just how much he loves how desperate you are to be good for him. When he does finally slide those two fingers in, you bite your bottom lip and clench your eyes shut to keep from yelling. Arching your back, you grip his hair and start grinding yourself almost his face, almost forgetting where you are.

Marie Antoinette would be so proud.

Ransom curls his fingers, finding that spongy spot inside of you that makes you blossom like a flower for him, and you swallow down your moan as you cum hard, trying your hardest to stay upright.

“So worried about security cameras, but you’re givin’ ‘em such a show, Sweet Thing,” Ransom broods darkly as he kisses his way up your body.

“Need it, daddy! Need you,” you whimper as you undo the front of his pants.

“Thought you wanted to be a good little girl?” he husks as he hoists you up and forces your legs around his waist.

“Fuck it,” you gasp as he thrusts himself inside of you.

Ransom is relentless as he fucks you hard and fast, not giving a single fuck if anyone walks in and catches you two.

“Please!,” you sob into his neck as you dig your nails into his shoulders.

“Feels so fucking good every time I’m deep inside you!”

“Daddy please!”

“Do you know how much I fucking love you? I would do anything for you! Anything to see you smile!”

“Aht! Baby...baby...that’s it!” you mewl into his neck before biting it.

“Fuck! The way this pussy squeezes me...give it to me! Want that fucking cream so bad!”

You moan into his neck as you cum hard, silently praying that no one heard you two, as spills his seed into you and fucks you both through your highs.

You really just had sex at the Palace of Versailles.

“You are nothing but trouble, Drysdale” you say with a breathy chuckle as he sets you down.

“Wanted to make sure the trip was historical for you,” he smirks.

“That’s a terrible joke,” you laugh as you lay your head on his shoulder.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you more than I can express.”

“I believe you.”

“I want to be with you. Really be with you. I want more trips with you, I want to come home to you, I want adventures with you...I want everything with you.”

“I know you do.”

“When will you trust me again?”

“It’s not just about trust, Ransom,” you sigh as squat down and pull up your shorts up and pass him your torn panties, “and you know that.”

“I told you that I’ll try.”

“And I told you that I need more time.”

“You know I’m never going to give up,” he mutters as he bends down and pulls up his briefs and shorts, before stuffing your panties into his pocket.

“Yeah, I know,” you laugh, “I won’t keep you in limbo for too much longer, okay? You know I love and want to be with you, I just....”

“Yeah, I know. I know,” he sighs.

“Lets just enjoy our last day, okay?”

“Anything you want,” he smiles at you before kissing you passionately.

“Stop, before you start round two.”

“You don’t know how hard it was for me to not tear that fucking tank top open.”

“Lets go,” you laugh as you lead the way and place your hand on the door.

“Y/N,” Ransom calls as he softly grabs your wrist.

“Yeah babe?”

“I do love you.”

“I love you,” you smile at him, “lets get back out there before we get caught.”

“I’m sure the whole palace heard us,” he smirks and you burst out laughing.

“Lets go, you.”

The rest of the tour is amazing, and judging by some of the looks thrown your way, you’re more than sure that people knew what you and Ransom had been up to. It doesn’t matter though, because the last two weeks have been heaven. Even with some of the arguments, the back and forth, and the fears that live rent free in your head. You’ve never been this happy, and you never thought that, in a million years, Hugh Ransom Drysdale would be the one to make you this happy. You know that things are going to be crazy when you get two get back, and while you’re not looking forward to it, you’re looking forward to Ransom being by your side for all of it.

You’re looking forward to finally letting yourself give him another try.

“Did you enjoy our little get away?” Ransom asks you two make your way down from the Eiffel Tower.

“I’m still trying to believe that all of this is real and not some dream that’s lasted much longer than it’s supposed to.”

“No, it’s very real,” he chuckles as he takes your hand in his. “If you’re so happy, why do you seem so far away?”

“I just...I want to say yes, Ransom. I want to let go of what happened and just start over, and that’s the direction I’m leaning towards but...”

“There’s still the fact that I’m a piece of shit,” he scoffs humorlessly.

“You’re not a piece of shit, Ransom. I never thought that before and I sure as shit don’t believe it now. However, the fact remains that you’ve done things that leave me...afraid. Trusting you...it’s not easy, Ransom. I trusted you before and it blew up in my face, on my fucking birthday, no less.”

“You know how much I want to take that back-”

“But you can’t, Ransom. No matter how much you want to, you can’t. I want to believe everything you say, because I love you more than I can explain, but I can’t. Yes, I believe that you love me and I believe that you want forever with me, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’ll use anyone to get what you want. Including me.”

“I won’t ever do something like that again, and I know-”

“You still did it in the first place, and that’s whats causing the issue. Me wanting to trust and being with you doesn’t cancel out the fact that I know exactly what you did, why you did it, and who you did it to,” you mumble as you two finally reach the last step.

Getting to the bottom of the Eiffel Tower is just as much of a pain in the ass as it is to get to the top.

“I’ll give you all the time you need to make your decision-”

“I don’t want anymore time, Ransom. You are who you are and I didn’t fall in love with you not knowing that. I am in love with you. I am so insanely in love with you and it scares me, because what the fuck am I going to do if you hurt me? If you leave me? I...want my forever to be with you, Ransom. God, I sound like a fucking airhead,” you laugh humorlessly as you grip his hand tighter. “I’ve thought about this so many times, and I keep thinking about all of the good that’s happened verses the bad and...the good outweighs the bad, I guess....I want to be with you. I wanna how the first few weeks go once we get back home, but I want...I want to be with you. Really be with you,” you smile up at him.

In one swift move, he’s picking you up and spinning you around, and you’re laughing into his shoulder and wrapping your arms around him tight.

“I guess it would’ve been more romantic to give this to you at the top of the Eiffel Tower,” he laughs as he sets you down, before digging in his pocket and pulling out a black velvet box.

“Ransom-”

“Relax, I’m not proposing. I didn’t get down on one knee, so I don’t know why you thought that was the case.”

“I don’t believe you’ll get down on one knee to propose.”

“My love for you will help me quiet my ego long enough for me to get down on one knee and propose,” he chuckles as he opens the box.

“Ransom...this is gorgeous,” you gasp and you hold up the sterling silver dragonfly necklace.

“I love you. I’m not easy to love, I’m rough around the edges, and I’m by no means innocent, but I’m all in with you. No lies, no more bets, no cheating, nothing. I want this to work because I love you more than you know and I’m...I’m committed to you. I’m committed to us,” he promises.

You wrap your arms around him and pull him close before getting on your tiptoes, and kissing him passionately.

He makes it so easy to get lost in him and forget. Forget that hell is waiting for you both when you get back to the states, forget that all of this is more complicated than it seems, and forget how scared you are. However, it’s not lost on you that you two are away, and things can easily change once you get home. Which is why you want to wait a few more weeks before you make anything official.

“Lets get back, huh?” he breaths once you two break apart.

“Please.”

The train ride back to London is torturous, because Ransom won’t keep his hands to himself, and you don’t want him to. The second you two are back inside the suite, Ransom is picking you up and carrying you to the bed, and you’re desperately trying to get his clothes off.

You two spend the rest of the evening in bed, making love and getting lost in one another. There’s no ‘daddy’, no slutty nicknames, no degrading, and no teasing. It’s just you and him telling each other just how much you both love and need one another, and how much you both just want each other forever. At some point, he orders room service, but you both only take a few bites of your food before he’s pulling you back into bed.

“We need to pack,” you yawn as you two cuddle up to another, finally ready to call it a night.

“I’ll take care of it, don’t worry about it.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that you need to rest and not worry about things that don’t matter.”

“Ransom?”

“Hmm?”

“Tell me you mean it when you tell me you want everything with me forever.”

“I mean it with every inch of my being, and I’m more than happy to spend the rest of my life showing you that.”

“I love you, Ransom.”

“I love you, Sweet Thing,” he tells you softly before kissing your forehead, “get some rest.”

As you drift off to sleep, you hope that the magic you two have found follows you both back to Massachusetts. You hope that you two can make this work for real and make it last.

**

“Why can’t you just stay over?” Ransom whines as he drives to his house. “Because,” you laugh as your phone goes off for the millionth time, “I like my house...Jesus, who knew one picture could get so many likes? I’m turning off my notifications,” you grumble as you fish it out of your purse.

Before you both headed back to the airport, you made a small photo set on your Insta account, with the caption:

Y/N Account Name: Took a little trip to my favorite place with my favorite person :)

Which Daisy was quick to comment with:

YourDadsBestFriend69: You go to Europe and get dicked down once, and I lose my title. This is bullshit.

You’re all set to turn off your notifications when you see that Marta has followed you. You tapped on username, but it was private. However, you did see her holding a small hand in her profile picture.

Did she have a baby?

When you go back to your notifications, her follow isn’t there anymore, which makes you all that much more confused. You let your curiosity get the best of you and go over to Ransom’s page and tapped on the photo set he posted of you.

You look through the very colorful comments until you find what you’re looking for:

M_Cab89: We’ll see if that’s the case when you get back.

Alright, what the fuck is going on?

“Are you listening to me?” Ransom asks, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Huh? What? No, I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“The car should be delivered in two days.”

“You didn’t have to buy me the car, Ransom,” you laugh with a sigh.

“You like the car and now you’ll have it.”

“You don’t have to buy me everything-”

“We were still on the trip. The trip that I took great joy in spoiling you on. I was happy to do it.”

“You should’ve let me buy you the watch.” “I have too many watches,” he scoffs as he turns onto his street. “I’ll run inside, grab some clothes, and we’ll head back to your place...awh, what the shit?!” he gripes as he parks his car in his gravel driveway.

Why are Marta and Linda here? Who the hell is that little boy?

“What the fuck is this about?” he mutters, opening his door and getting out before slamming it shut.

Great.

“Ransom, calm down,” you sigh, getting out and following after him.

“It’s bad enough that either one of them is here, but them together? And who the fuck is that little kid?” he growls.

“Ransom, please.”

“What do you want, Mother?” he snaps, malice in his tone as he reaches his doorstep.

There’s no way that is going to end well.

“Don’t speak to me in that tone!”

“You’re at my house-”

“That Harlan got you-”

“What do you want?” he mutters.

“So, it’s true? You’re with her now?” Linda sasses as she looks you over.

“It really doesn’t concern you. What do you-”

“You planned your trip during my birthday, didn’t even bother to call-”

“Why should I? It’s not like you wanted me there anyway-”

“I’m your Mother, you ungrateful little shit!” she interrupts, slapping him hard.

“No!” you snap, standing in front of Ransom, “you don’t get to hit him! I don’t care that he’s your son, you don’t treat him like that! Especially because he’s your son,” you growl, a threatening finger pointed directly at her face.

The shit eating grin that comes to her face makes your stomach churn.

“When I got here, Marta was already here with that little guy. Seems like you can’t keep either of your whores in line.”

There’s no fucking way...

“What are you talking about? I don’t-”

“He’s your son, Ransom,” Marta interjects, stepping aside, so little boy can be seen.

You can’t breathe.

“The fuck he is!”

“Watch your mouth!”

“He’s not my son and this isn’t fucking funny!”

“We can take a test if you want, but he is your son!”

The comment she left under his pictures makes so much sense now.

“Well, I don’t want him! You wait...however many years to tell me about him, and you sure as shit don’t need any money, so why now?!”

“He deserves to know who his Father is, Ransom! He’s a Drysdale and-”

“Watch it,” Ransom warns with a foreboding tone.

You look at him in pure and utter shock. You know that he can be an asshole, but this is just cruel. He has a point though, why did Marta wait until now? There were multiple times to tell Ransom, including when she was pregnant, but she waited till he posted you? Is that why she went on your page? To see if there was something more? To see if we were both serious about each other?

“It’s not enough that you had to take this whore to London and miss my birthday, but now you have a bastard with the help? God, you don’t know how to stop yourself from fucking up, do you?” Linda spits.

This time, you’re the one slapping her while angry tears roll down your cheek, and Linda looks at you in pure shock.

“I’ll press charges!”

“Go ahead,” you mutter before turning and walking away.

“Y/N, please don’t go,” Ransom calls, following after you and grabbing your wrist, and you instantly pull out of his hold. “Sweet Thing-”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Please, lets talk about this!”

“I can’t be here right now, Ransom. I just can’t.”

“Where do you wanna go? We can anywhere you want!”

“I need to get away from you!” you yell, turning to face him for just a brief moment, but it was long enough to see the pain in his eyes.

The universe just couldn’t give you a fucking win, could it?

“Please-”

“I can’t talk to you right now. I have to go. I’ve gotta get the fuck out of here.”

You’re quick to grab your purse and cell phone from his car, before you’re walking off in the direction of your home.

The second you can’t see them anymore, you burst into tears.

You were just too fucking happy. You finally felt comfortable enough to explore things with Ransom, you were so ready to say yes and fully commit, and now there’s all this shit. What the fuck are you supposed to do now? No, he by all means did not have the right response to any of what just took place, but e was caught completely off guard, and it really does seem like Marta did this out of spite.

Linda help a single fucking thing.

You stop in at the liquor store and pick up four bottles of tequila, along with four packs of cigarettes, and completely ignore the stares and whispers that are coming your way.

None of it fucking matters anyway.

As your items are being scanned, only one thought keeps going through your mind: why did you have to fall in love with Hugh Ransom Drysdale?

~~

taglist: @emerald-evans​, @maroonsunrise83​, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555​, @companionjones​, @autumnrose40​, @fuckingbye​, @pono-pura-vida​, @nomadstucky​, @mazda098​, @chemtrails-club​, @bree-lyrie​

[barclaysangel]

If Junior was at Lochmoor with Nica AU

Well well well…another Junior AU. I know, I have a problem. But watching Nurse Ratched gave me the idea of 10 year old Junior being at Lochmoor with Nica. Does it make sense logically? Most likely not. Did I write it in less than two days? …definitely.

This AU just wasn’t leaving my mind at all so I had to write it and here it is! It’s a bit long but I’m quite proud of how it turned out. I’m not sure if this is gonna be an actual fic, most likely not, but maybe I’ll write a series of oneshots for this AU. I do have a few ideas so if you guys like this, including on how to bring Andy in and how Junior and Nica get out of Lochmoor, so please let me know if that’s something y’all are interested in! I thrive off comments, they fuel my motivation!

Thank you and enjoy :)

Word count: 3K

Tags: @nicascurls @fairchilds-glasses @high-functioning-fang1rl @streets-in-paradise @zelinksupporter

Junior got used to the hospital. 

It was often cold and many of the patients there were scary, but he knew how to keep quiet and sit alone in a corner, drawing whatever came to mind to keep himself occupied until the next round of medicine and shocks. 

He didn’t know if he deserved all of that, deserved to be the only child in a big and terrifying hospital. But those patients committed crimes and he, in a way, did too. 

It just felt like Junior’s life fell apart. Maybe it always was falling apart. His dad was strict with him, forcing him into doing cross-country, forcing him to eat less, always forcing and controlling him. But his mom was there, trying to keep him safe the most she could. 

Then she died. And he was so painfully alone. Junior wishes he could remember what happened during the time of her death to ending up at the hospital, but it was like a blur. He remembered just bits and pieces of everything. 

The funeral, everyone dressed in black. 

His bedroom, perfect and clean before being destroyed and broken from a fit of rage that he didn’t remember. 

His trophies from cross-country shattered. 

The biggest trophy with specks of blood. 

Blood on the back and side of his father’s head. 

The doctors say that Junior had “psychosis”. That he was experiencing “manic and depressive episodes” despite his very young age, the tragic death of his mother triggering those “episodes”. 

His father said that he was a dangerous “psychopath” who tried to kill him. 

Junior hardly knew what any of those words meant. To him, it just meant that he was crazy and a monster who could hurt anyone at any given moment, so he had to be sent away. 

Sent away to Lochmoor at barely ten years old. 

It was hard at first. He hated the way the “vitamins” made him feel, not to mention the shocks they would put in his head. It would leave marks on his temples and make him feel overall terrible. The nurses had to put Junior on his side after each shock session since he would vomit in his sleep, he apparently almost choked to death before when he threw up while lying flat on his back after the very first time he got shocked. 

Some days he wished he did die, then he wouldn’t need to keep being in such a scary place. 

Then other days, it wasn’t too bad. He could be left somewhat alone, drawing with some paper and crayons they would allow him to have. Junior was never the best at drawing, all the art skills belonged to his cousin, Jake. But the more he drew, almost every single day, the better he started getting at it. 

I guess Jake was right. Practice does make perfect. Junior thought to himself and then got sad to remember that he wasn’t going to be able to tell Jake that and deal with his cousin annoying him about how he was right. 

He hardly spoke to anyone there, mainly only a couple of his doctors. They wanted to know what made him “snap”. He told them what he remembered, how controlling his father was and how he was even afraid of him. 

But Junior could tell that they didn’t believe him. That his father was a good and smart man, that he would never do those things or that his “mania and depression” misinterpreted the things his father did. 

Maybe they were right. His brain was sick after all, maybe his father wasn’t as bad as he thought he was. 

Junior didn’t know anything and for the next three months, he kept to himself. He minded his own business, drew whenever he could, took his vitamins, but still cried and tried to run whenever it was time for the shock sessions. Not to mention how he cries himself to sleep every single night, wishing he was dead and buried beside his mom, staying with her instead forever and ever. 

But this was his life now. At least until the doctors finally tell him he’s better. But he doesn’t know when that will ever happen. So for now, he stays still. 

Then a new patient arrived, a woman with dark curly hair in a wheelchair. Junior recognized a new face easily, growing more and more observant the longer he stayed in Lochmoor. It wasn’t anything too new for him, even when she stared at him like she was confused as to why he would be there. 

He got that look a lot, because of his age. He still feels like he should get some kind of award for being the youngest patient at Lochmoor. 

But she would always smile and wave at him, even at times where she looked afraid or upset. For the first few days, Junior didn’t return the smiles or waves. He would keep drawing and try to ignore her stares. But something about her felt warm and kind, a feeling he had forgotten about after so long of not feeling it. 

Eventually, he would wave back at her. And then, after nearly two weeks, he did something else. Junior got up, walked toward the woman, sat down on the floor near her wheelchair, and continued his drawing. He did all of this silently, not knowing what to say since he was so used to just not talking. 

It didn’t take long for her to take the initiative. 

“Hi.” The woman said, her voice gentle and light, as if she was being cautious. 

Junior didn’t say anything for a moment before taking a deep breath. “Hi.” 

“What’s your name?” She asked him next. 

The entire time, he was keeping his eyes on his drawing, grabbing a black crayon. “Junior.” 

“Nice to meet you, Junior. I’m Nica.” 

Junior finally looked at her, the corners of his lips turning upwards, the most he could smile nowadays. “Nice to meet you too, Nica.”

The woman–Nica–smiled at him, that sweet and soft smile he had seen her send to him before. The more he looked at her, the more he noticed the scar on her forehead, angry and red, but healing. He didn’t say anything though, he went back to coloring and figured he would be doing it in silence. 

“How old are you?” Nica asked after a few seconds, making Junior think for a moment. 

It was getting harder for him to remember the days and the months, sometimes it felt like his brain was getting fuzzy and foggy. 

“Ten. Ten in September. That was…last year, I think. I’ll be eleven this year.” He finally responded, adjusting his position so he was sitting in a more criss cross position. 

“You’re a child…” She said, sounding shocked and almost confused. Or horrified? He couldn’t quite tell. 

Junior looked at her and merely shrugged his shoulders. “I know. But I can handle it.” He said simply and began coloring in his drawing, scrunching his eyebrows together in concentration. 

“Can I ask what you’re drawing?” Normally, he would be annoyed that someone kept interrupting him. But she spoke lightly to him, so it didn’t make him as upset as he would usually get. 

Maybe the treatments were actually working afterall. 

“My mom.” Junior said softly, finishing off coloring her black hair before putting the crayon down and grabbing the magenta crayon. 

“She looks pretty.” Nica said, noticing her peering down to look at the drawing. It wasn’t perfect, far from it. Again, he wasn’t an artist. But he tried to draw her the most, almost everyday, so he wouldn’t forget what she looked like. 

“Yeah…yeah, she was…” He replied, his voice sad as he stared at the picture. Junior took a deep breath, not wanting to start crying in front of someone. He tried to think of his father’s words instead. 

Don’t be such a pussy, you’re a man! Act like it! It seemed to work for the time being, clearing his throat and began using the magenta crayon to color in his mom’s dress. 

Junior figures that Nica was going to ask him next what happened to his mom, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t say a word. Maybe she already knows somehow, just by that small bit of reaction that he had. 

Whatever it was, he was grateful that she didn’t say anything. 

He was quiet still, his movement slowing down before looking up at Nica. “Do you…wanna draw too?” 

She looked a little surprised at his request before smiling again, nodding. “I would like that, thanks.” 

Junior nodded and passed her one of his other pieces of paper and other crayons that he had. They spent the next few minutes doing that, silently drawing by one another’s side. It was kind of strange to Junior but not enough to make him want to leave. For some reason, it was almost…nice. Nice and comforting and peaceful. 

It was almost like he had a friend he’s known his whole life. 

“Your drawing is really good.” Junior said after a moment, looking up to see the different types of flowers she drew. 

“Thank you, I’ve had years of practice.” Nica said with a smile as Junior began drawing a sun in the corner of his paper. 

He drew suns a lot since it feels like it’s been years since he got to feel the sun hitting his face. 

“Junior…can I ask you something?” She asked him hesitantly. 

“Mhm.” He mumbled simply, already suspecting what she was planning to ask him, the same as some of the other patients. 

“Why are you here? You don’t seem dangerous at all to need maximum security. You’re just a kid.” 

And because Junior expected the question, he answered as honestly as he would with the others. 

“Because I tried to kill my father.” 

The silence was loud enough to hear a pin drop. But since Nica wasn’t leaving him yet, Junior decided to continue. 

“That’s what they said I did. I don’t remember. Something about a ‘psychotic breakdown’. Whatever that means. I think it’s just a fancy way of saying I went crazy after mom died from cancer and tried to kill my father but he was able to stop me. I didn’t mean to try and kill him. I think I just wanted him to stop controlling me. I wanted to be free. But now I’m here for…I don’t know how long. It’s been some months now. I guess we’ll see.”

Now this is the part where Nica leaves. Where she’ll come up with some excuse and then never get next to him or talk to him ever again. Because who would trust a kid who tried to murder their own father? No one, that’s who. And she was going to be one of them. 

But almost a full minute had passed and Nica was still there. Maybe she was waiting for him to leave? That must be why, so Junior started gathering the rest of his crayons so he could get up and move away from her. 

“I don’t think you’re crazy.” Nica suddenly said, making him stop and pause, looking at her in confusion. 

“...what?” 

“You’re not crazy. You’re just a little boy who lost his mother. Took out his pain on his father. Did you get help after your mom died? Before you ended up here?” She asked him and Junior shook his head. “You should’ve gotten help. If your father cared, he would’ve done that. You don’t deserve to be here.” 

Yes I do. I’m a psychopath. He wanted to say but decided not to. 

He didn’t know why. Maybe deep down, he didn’t believe he was that crazy. That he was dangerous and wanted to hurt people. He didn’t know and would probably never find out anyway. 

“Why are you here then?” Junior decided to ask her this time. “You seem nice. I don’t know why you would end up being here.” 

Nica looked sad for a moment, looking away as she fidgeted with her sleeves before looking back at him. “They said that I killed my family. But I didn’t. It wasn’t me, I swear.”

Junior looked at her, trying to read her. She seemed to believe it, and seemed saddened by whatever happened to her family. She seemed to be convinced that she really didn’t do it. 

Or maybe Nica was crazy. But so was Junior, so he didn’t care either way. 

And if she decided to snap and kill him? Then he would just end up with his mother, something he’s been wanting anyway, so he didn’t care. 

“I believe you.” Junior said simply, putting down the rest of his crayons down and settling back into his original position. 

Nica looked a little surprised but almost relieved. “You do?”

He smiled just a tiny bit and nodded. “Uh huh. I do. You don’t seem mean enough to do something like that. So…do you pinkie promise that you didn’t do it?” He asked, holding up his pinkie to her. 

She smiled kindly at him, nodding before holding up her own pinkie and wrapping it around his. “I promise.” 

Junior started to relax, genuinely trusting her, but he was pulled out of his thoughts by one of the orderlies. “Wheeler. Come on, it’s time for your treatment.”

His eyes widened, knowing what the treatments actually meant. 

Shocks. 

It was time for him to get shocked. 

Junior whimpered quietly and started to slowly move away. “Please, please, I-I’ve been good! I’ve been good, I don’t wanna be shocked, please…” But the orderlies started to move closer so he put his cross-country skills to use. 

He sprung up and bolted. 

He knew it was futile but he had to try, screaming loudly when he felt one of the orderlies grab him before Junior was able to get out of the room, now scratching and biting at the orderly wherever he could. Through his screaming, he could vaguely hear Nica’s voice, telling them to stop and to not hurt him, but Junior knew how they were. They weren’t going to stop. Not until there was a needle in his arm and his body started to shut down. He tried to hold on, tried so hard, but he knew it was better to be asleep than awake when he was shocked. And his world went black. 

Unfortunately, just because he was asleep, doesn't mean he couldn’t feel anything. He felt each painful shock, making his entire body jolt, even sometimes waking him up midway only to be put back to sleep after he started screaming. 

Please, make it stop. Please, please, please, I can’t take this anymore. It hurts too much, I don’t want to keep feeling this! Just kill me! Kill me! Please, please, please, please, ple–

Junior doesn’t know when it stopped. He doesn’t remember much after that. He remembered throwing up when he was back in his bed before falling back asleep, his arms and legs still twitching and jolting. It felt like he was fading away, slipping in and out, in and out, in and…

Junior didn’t know what time it was, but it had to have been getting late. 

He needed to get up and go for a run. 

Try to see if he could run an extra mile. 

That would make his dad happy. 

Yes, he would be happy. 

And then maybe he could eat a little more for breakfast if his dad was happy. 

It’s a good idea. 

He just needed to get up right now. 

“Junior?”

What was that?

It was probably nothing, just his imagination again. 

“Junior, can you hear me?” 

Wait, there it was again. 

The voice was soft and warm, so warm…it sounded like mom’s…

“Come on, baby, I need you to wake up. You need to snap out of it, okay?”

Snap out of it? Snap out of what?

The voice did sound like mom’s but it was different. 

But still familiar. 

She sounded like…

“Junior? Honey?”

Junior woke up. 

He blinked a few times, realizing that he wasn’t in his room, back at his father’s house. There were gray walls all around him and a certain chill to it, something that always frightened him. He was at Lochmoor. He’s always been in Lochmoor. Sitting in the very corner of the main room, his knees pulled into his chest. 

How did he get there? 

Did they put him there or did he walk there on his own?

He couldn’t even remember. 

But he did recognize the woman’s voice, it was–

“Ni…ca…” Junior spoke slowly, struggling to find his voice, his words. 

Right. He got the shocks. He remembered now. That’s why his brain was fuzzy and in pain, his insides still twisting and churning. 

This was where he was now. 

“Oh, honey, what did they do to you…?” Nica murmured to herself, but he knew that she knew the answer. He realized that her hands were on his cheeks, gentle and light, looking at the side of his head. 

He had burn marks again, that much he knew. He had seen them before, the small burns and discoloration on his temples. They would go away in a few days, but he hated just knowing they were there. 

“Hurts…it hurts…” Junior managed to mumble out and one of Nica’s hands went through his hair, soothing back the dark strands so gently. 

“I know, baby, I know. Just take some deep breaths, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” She told him softly and he started to tear up. 

Normally he could try to stop it, but he couldn’t now. He accepted defeat, accepted the pain he was in, but leaned forward and pressed his cheek against her knee while clinging onto her leg. 

Nica didn’t move him, continuing to stroke his hair in light and soothing notions, whispering to him but Junior didn’t know what she was saying. It didn’t matter though because despite the pain, he realized something. 

He wasn’t alone. 

For the first time in so long, he wasn’t alone. 

Junior finally had a friend and maybe he was going to be okay.

[andydrysdalerogers]

Cross-Checked - Chapter 3

Andy Barber x OFC Leighton "Leia" Andrews

Summary:

Andy Barber is having the best year of his life. His game is on point. It’s gets to play with his best friend and his fiancé just... dumped him?!. 

Reeling from a sudden change in status, Andy decides it’s time to just focus on hockey. Until his best friend's sister comes out with news that rock the entire organizations world., 

Andy has always carried a torch for the untouchable Leighton but in her hour of need, is now the time to shoot and score or risk getting cross - checked again? 

Warnings: Cheating (but not by the MCs); slow burn; friends to lovers eventually; SMUT!; pregnancy; jealousy; handsome goalies, evil exes...

A/N: The tag list is open!

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Previous: It's That Last Step - Leighton

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 3 – Luke’s Gonna Kill Me - Leighton 

**Six weeks later** 

The season was off to a great start. Andy and Luke had an epic start to the season in light of everything that happened with Craig. Speaking of Craig, he ended up getting traded to Tampa Bay which made Andy extremely happy. From what I heard from some of the WAGs, Fiona refused to move to Florida with him.  So much for true love.  Last I heard, she took a job in New York.  

Good riddance.  

Andy and I had gotten into a good routine once I finished moving in and so far, I love living with my best friend.  As social media director, I got to travel with the team, so I saw Andy and my brother all the time.  It made dealing with the heart ache that much easier. Bret had left an email letting me know where the stuff I didn’t take with me was and that was about it. No groveling, no asking for me to reconsider. Three years together and that was it. I wasn’t sure if I felt relieved, heartbroken or depressed. Yes, when it happened, I cried on Andy’s shoulder but I think it was the shock of Bret asking me to be his little housewife. On well, life moves on. 

The Bruins were three weeks into the season, and I was packing up for a 10-game road trip when I heard the front door slam. Heavy footsteps hit the stairs and my favorite pair of blue eyes were in my doorway. “Hey princess!” 

Yes, I am well aware mat my parents are big Star Wars fans and named their kids Luke and Leia. After I grew up a bit and Luke and Andy had watched said movies, Andy took to calling me "Princess" no matter how much I objected to the name stuck and here we are. 

“Hey Chewy!” If I had to get an awful Star Wars nickname, then so did he 

Andy threw himself onto my bed. “Ready for the road trip?” 

I sighed as I packed the last packing cube into my suitcase. Yes, I was one of those that used packing cubes. I liked to be organized and plan everything out. Sue me. “Almost,” I replied. “Just got to get my carry-on tote.” 

Andy looked over my bags. “How much shit does one girl need?” He lifted out a cube and I yanked it back. 

“Don’t judge me! Not all of us were born devilish good looking in just a button down and jeans. I need to have options.” I put the cube back into its place as I looked over my packing list. 

“Princess, you are just living up to the title now,” Andy said with a laugh. 

I blushed. “One of these days you’ll need a sewing kit and can’t find one and you’ll be crawling to me for help.” I grabbed a pillow and smacked him with. “And If you continue to be mean to me then no chicken parm for you.” 

  Andy perked up. “Chicken parm?” I knew I had him with his favorite meal   

“Yep with home made garlic bread.” 

Andy flopped down with a moan. “What did I do to deserve you?” I giggled as I made check marks on my list. “Like you clean and cook and all I have to do is my own bathroom and laundry and give money for groceries.” 

“It’s Iike having a girlfriend without all the messiness,” I dead panned. I’m not sure why I said it but it pulled at my heart all the shit that Andy had to go through with the spawn of Satan. It also cut me to know that Andy would never see me as anything other than his best friend. I think that stung more. 

“Hey, its not like that, Princess,” Andy started. “You know that I cherish you more than anyone in the world.” He took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “I didn’t mean with anything my comment. I'm saying that living with my best friend has been the greatest time of my life.” 

Goddammit. Why does he have to say shit like that? I give him a soft smile. “Its been the best time for me too, Chewy.” 

Andy bounced out of bed. “Let’s go eat so we head out to the plane.” He placed himself in front of  me and I climbed on his back so he could carry me down stairs. 

As Andy takes out my bag from the trunk, a body slams into me from behind. “Oof!” 

“Hey girl!” I smile at the voice of Bruins trainer and best friend Stella Williams   

“Hey Stel.” I turned as I grabbed my bag. “I’m all set to be stuck on an overnight flight with my best friend and 30 men who have no sense of privacy.”  I gave a big smile to Andy, who rolled his eyes.  

“Yeah, yeah. If I wasn’t aboard, who will protect you from your brother?” My mouth went to argue but he was right.  Dammit. “That’s what i thought.”  

“You know, I hate you sometimes.” I stick my tongue out at him.   

“No, you don’t.” He flashes that fucking smirk that could make a nun swoon.  

I really don’t but I won’t admit it.  I headed to the plane with my head held high, ignoring the laughter coming from Stella and Andy behind me.  

“Hey little sister!” Luke came over and lifted me into a hug. “How are you, Cubby?” 

While Andy called me Princess, Luke called me Cubby as in his baby cub that he took care of.  Made sense since Lukas Andrews was not a small man. Standing 6 foot 1 and easily 230 pounds of solid muscle, Luke was one of the best enforcers for the Bruins. He protected his players, and he learned that by protecting me.  

“Hey Flyboy.” Oh yeah, if Andy and I had Star Wars nick name, then Luke would have one too. Yes, I know, that’s what Leia called Han but Luke had no good nicknames.  We’ve done the research. One weekend, six movies and Andy forever calling himself “General Solo.”  The man has a problem sometimes. “I’m doing good, attempting to control myself from hurting your captain.”  

“What did Andy do now?”  Luke smiled, looking over my shoulder at his best friend. I harrumphed at his attitude and shoved my suitcase in his gut, bending him over with an oof. “What?” 

“Gang up on me and pay the consequences, Flyboy. Just remember who makes you look good on social media so the ladies think they have a chance.” I flash him my “sugary sweet and so innocent smile that you should fear” smile. His smile falls and he swallows.  

“You are scary sometimes, you know that?” 

“I do, and yet, you still gave me your password.”  I flounced away, taking the stairs up the plane to get to my seat.  The plane is divided into three sections.  Coaches and trainers are usually up front, followed by support staff and then the players. Stella and I are the bridge between support and trainers and sit together on the plane.  As I was getting my headphones and book ready for the flight to California, I stopped and said hello to all the players as they walked by. Most just nod or wave, Andy moved to ruffle my head, which I dodged and smacked his hand as he laughed.  I got myself settled, waiting for Stella. 

“Hey Leia,” another voice sounds. I snap my head over to see one of our goalies, Jeremy, stop at my aisle.  

(Meet Jeremy)

“Hi, Jeremy.” I really don’t know what to say.  Jeremy stopping to say hello to me is new, not unwelcome but new.  He is one of the best goalies in the business and well, fuck it, he’s really cute. “Ready for the road trip?” I ask because I have nothing else.  

“Ready! Always wanted to go to Disneyland,” he said with a wink.  

My dead heart beats just a bit faster.  Its been two months since Bret left and I haven’t even thought of another man, besides Andy.  I forgot what it felt like to be flirted with. “That would be cool if we had the time.” I saw Stella board.  “Oops, here comes trouble!” I announce as Stella approaches.  

“I’ll let you get settled.” Jeremy smiles.  “Maybe we can have a drink sometime. See ya Leia, Stella.” He moved on to his seat and I watched as he walked away.  I caught Andy’s face looking at me and for a moment, he looked angry but then he smiled at me, and I knew it was ok.  

“Why was Jeremy Swayman talking with you,” Stella asked. She loved a good romance story.  

I shrugged. “No clue.”  

Thirty minutes later we were in the air and the team manager was going over the schedule for the next ten days.  A ten-day roadie is brutal in the best of times but one with a huge time difference was the worst. The captain announced we were at altitude and shut off the lights in the cabin.  I needed to try and stay awake so I didn’t get jet-lagged and would be able to snap our arrival in San Jose. Suddenly, my stomach twisted.  “Stel, move please?” 

“We haven’t even had anything to drink yet,” she grumbled slowly.  

“Stella, move!” I whisper yelled.  She moved and I raced up the aisle. I made it into the bathroom and heaved everything we had for dinner. I sank to the floor as I tried to breathe through the pain in my stomach and throat. After a few minutes, I was able to get up and wash my face and mouth as best I could.  

“What the hell was that, Leia?” Stella looked me over.  “Girl, you are pale and clammy.”  

“I have no fucking clue, Stel.  My stomach just hurt all of sudden.”  Great, that was the last thing i needed. I didn’t want to be sick while we were in California.  Early November in California still meant great weather and I wanted to take advantage since fall has already made an appearance in Boston. “I hate being sick on the road.” I threw back my head against the head rest.  

“Maybe it's just a one off, Leia.  It happens.  Let’s just wait and see in San Jose.”  

The rest of the flight was fine and traveling to LA meant that it was only three hours from when we took off according to the body clocks.  The guys were headed to the hotel bar, but Stella and I stayed in, reviewing the photos that i took as we left the plane.  

“These are so good, Leia.  Everyone is looking good.  Especially Swayman, Barber and your brother.”  She gives me a smirk while I gag.  

“Gross Stella.  My brother is not hot.” I make a disgusted face as I look at him.  His cocky smile came because I said I would send the photo to Miranda. I shuddered and looked at the photos of Andy.  The guys are required to be dressed in business casual at minimum.  Most are in slacks and a button down, but Andy is never in less than a three piece.  It's his signature fit and let me tell you, I and the rest of the female population, appreciate it. Today’s was a three piece blue pinstripe. Many blessings to his tailor because that suit fits like a glove.  

“You can stop drooling over Barber and tell me what is going on with Swayman.” Stella takes a drink of the wine we brought with us.  

I feel my cheeks burn a little. “I don’t know.  I know the guys know I’m single now because my brother had a big mouth but that thing with Jeremy is new.”  Very new.  As in, what the fuck is going on.  Jeremy is handsome, I would be blind to deny that but I’m just not ready to date. “It's nice though, to be flirted with.” 

“Andy flirts with you all the time,” Stella points out.  

“He does not.  He’s nice because he’s my best friend, my brother’s best friend. It's been that way for years.” Disappointment washes over me.  “Yeah, right would Andy Barber have a thing for me. I mean, let’s check Stella.  I clean for him, he makes me breakfast.  I make dinner, he does dishes.  We are in a mutually beneficial relationship, and not a romantic one.”  

Stella rolls her eyes.  “You are either blind or naive, Andrews. The man is into you.”  

I lay back on the bed with a sigh.  “I wish.  Especially when he is walking around in just a shirt and gray sweatpants. Or in the mornings when he is climbing out of the pool after his swim.”  

“Tell me,” Stella swoons.  “Tell me he had more than six abs.”  

“I will not.  He has six and they are spec-tac-ular.” I went to sit up and that twist happens again, and I run to the bathroom.  Stella follows to hold my hair back as I have my exorcist moment.  Finally, it stops, and I sit back against that bathroom wall.  

Stella gets a washcloth and wets it.  She crouches down and presses it against my forehead, and I moan at how good it feels. “I don’t mean to upset you but is there something you want to tell me?” I look up at my best friend’s eyes. “I mean, could you be pregnant?” 

I laughed a little.  “Stella, be real.  I haven’t had sex since...” and I stop. I count back and realize that I didn’t have a cycle and I’m late for this month. “Oh, shit.”  

I think Stella can see the panic on my face. “Ok, relax. I’m going to the corner market, and I’ll be right back.  It's gonna be ok. Can I leave you here and promise you won’t do anything drastic?”  I nod because I really can’t say anything. She leaves and I’m alone.  

Why the fuck didn’t I notice before? I mean, I guess the stress of the break up and the move took its toll.  Add on that and work and of course I wouldn’t have notice.  Bret was hyper aware when it was time because he liked to schedule his work trips around it.  He didn’t want to be around for the inevitable break downs and cravings of having your period.  God, he was such a jerk.  Thinking of him made me think of when this possibly could have happened. And it hits me. It had been around Labor Day, and we were fooling around before his work trip. I was that 0.03% of woman who have her contraception fail.  

Stella walks back a moment later and hands me a test.  I stare at it like it's a snake ready to strike my hand and I look up at Stella.  “The faster you do this the faster you can either panic or party.  It's up to you.”  

She’s right and I hate it.  I pee on the stick and set it on its wrapping on the counter.  I walk out and chug about half a gallon of water, in fear, I think. “What am I going to do?” 

“Not yet,” she says. We sit there in silence as we wait for the longest three minutes of my life.  I’m not sure if I want it to be positive.  Yes, I’ve always wanted kids.  But I thought I would be married and happy. I’m happy but I live with my brother’s best friend and what if he doesn't want kids in his home?  What if he asks me to leave? I know my brother would take me in but who really wants to live with their brother?  Miranda just moved in. Stella’s phone beeps and I look at her. “Ready?” 

“No.” She looks at me with her threatening face, which is terrifying by the way, and she points to the bathroom.  I get up, my legs shaking and head to the counter.  

“What am i going to do Stella?” We’re sitting at the restaurant in the hotel the next morning. I’m hungry, which is a nice change from being nauseous.  

“Let’s get through the road trip and then we will plan and worry.”  Stella slathered her toast in jam and then dunks it in her over-easy eggs.  

“If you want me to throw up, do that again,” I say with a gag.  I concentrate on my scrambled eggs and toast for a few minutes.  "Can I just say, I really have no idea how I’m going to tell my brother. He is going to lose his shit,” I stop and blurt.  “I don’t know how I’m going to tell Andy.” 

“Tell me what?”  

NEXT

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[falloutjuli]

MORE JOHNNY CONTENT. I got mad brainrot so yeah, I can’t stop writing for him. This time I wanted something comforting, so this came to be. Just casually 5k words of Johnny and reader being two depressed fucks that form a cute friendship and then more.

Fall Out Boy title reference because I can. Try to stop me, I’ll wait here.  

----------------------

Johnny x suicidal!Reader - The Kids aren’t alright. 

Wordcount: 5,4K

Short summary: MODERN AU - While you contemplate jumping off a bridge, you meet a peculiar guy who keeps you grounded. Through time, you turn from strangers to friends to more than words can describe.

Warnings: Mention of suicide, depression, self-hatred, all that Jazz. Gyro and you bully Johnny.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

-----------------------

Your hands gripped the iron railing harder, the metal warm underneath your touch by now. You gaze at the water underneath you, how it taunts you with its flow and the reflecting lights. It looks inviting and yet you can't bring your body to jump over the railing to become one with the water. A sigh escaped your lips as you thought this over. 

In theory, everything was set. This wasn't your first time at this bridge after all. The letter was written, all affairs in order and yet, despite the set up, you felt not ready. So, you just kept staring, going through the dark thoughts that brought you here. A tear escaped your eye, and it would remain only one, you lacked the energy to actually cry at this point. 

"Contemplating suicide?" A voice asked behind you. Your expression soured and without looking away from the water underneath you answered the person who dared to disturb you. 

"If you're gonna ask me to fuck you since I'm gonna ef myself off anyways then do me a favor and jump over the railing yourself." You spat. It wasn't the first time some guy tried to get a pity fuck simply because they assumed you were gonna kill yourself. 

"I wasn't gonna ask for such a thing, but even if then I'd need your help to get over the railing." You turned your head you were met by sapphire blue eyes that looked similarly tired to yours. The guy those gorgeous eyes belonged to sat in a wheelchair, so that's probably why he couldn't make the jump himself.

"Sorry." You said dryly, wiping the tear away that had escaped your eye earlier. "Normally the strangers that wanna speak to me here are perverts." "That sucks." He simply shrugged and now the two of you were staring at the water.

 "Contemplating suicide?" You asked him the same question as he did to you. "Mhm." Was the simply hummed answer. "Life just sucks huh?" You struck up a conversation, unsure why exactly. Everyone else in your life you were trying to push away, yet him you invited to a conversation. 

"Yeah, tell me all about it." A moment of silence passed. "For how long?" 

"Pretty much since I was a kid. I have a pretty shit father. And you?" The boy casually mentioned. It was a strange situation, but you felt somewhat comfortable, so you didn’t mind talking to him more. "Teenage years. Then it was better for a while but now all I mainly do is sit in my apartment all day and think about ending it."  

"You're copying my life story? How rude for someone who just told me to jump over the railing." The boy joked next to you, and you chuckled. "That's the first time in a while that I was able to laugh at something." You said and let go of the railing. "Glad to help." 

You two turned to face each other and take in every detail. The guy was good looking, those eyes were absolutely stunning despite the sorrow they held, golden hair that poked out from under his beanie and framed his face in a beautiful way. A bright blue hoodie with stars for a top and casual sweatpants with vans for bottom. 

You wondered if he inspected you so thoroughly too and judging by his eyes wandering over you he might. 

"Thank you." You said, unsure if he'd get it but going by the faint smile on his lips he did. "No, thank you." And with that, you each turned to get going home. -------

With heavy steps you made your way to the space you dreaded and loved at the same time. 

You had been away for a week. But today it was too much again and so you returned to probably stare at the water again, pussy out and then go home to continue lying in bed. A heavy sigh was let out and you took a deep breath of the cold night air. Just as you were almost at your usual spot you saw the guy from a week ago. 

He was next to the bench in his wheelchair, staring out at the city. You contemplated turning around, not wanting to bother him or anything, but your sluggish steps dragged you to the bench in the end to plop down next to him. "Hey." "Hey." You two greeted each other as if you were friends. In reality, you didn't even know each other's names. 

"Rough week?" He asked and turned to look at you. "Doesn't even begin to describe it. Judging you're here yours was shit too?" He nodded. A moment of silence passed. 

"I don't know whether or not to be glad to have met you again. Because while I like talking to you... Meeting here, at this place at this time of night..." You knew what he was implying. 

"Meeting here is bad, because it means we are here to do something else originally." He hummed in approval. "What's your name?" You finally asked him. "Johnny." 

"Y/N." You answered before he needed to ask. Now you sat there in silence. "Do you have therapy?" You eventually asked him. "Yeah. I have to otherwise I'm sure my friend would kill me. "Sounds adorable."

 "He's a good friend, but I feel like he doesn't really know what's going on in me." "I know what you mean." You mumbled and thought about your friends who had claimed to be there for you only to immediately turn once you weren't happy go lucky. You two fell in silence again. A comfortable one. -----

  Weeks passed. Sometimes you were alone at the bridge. Sometimes by coincidence, Johnny was there too. You had learned quite a lot about each other by now. Johnny is a university student. Before that he was a jockey and a good one at that. 

But an incident which he didn’t want to elaborate on, left him paralyzed from the waist down, which ended his career prematurely. He comes from money but has cut ties with his family and now lives with his best friend, an Italian medical student. 

You also told him about yourself, your home life, which also wasn't the best, how you were now living alone in a tiny apartment to try to fix your life but that didn't work out so now you continuously came to this bridge to end it all. Johnny did it because he struggled massively with his depression and self-hatred. Meeting him had already become the best thing in your life because talking to him grounded you, made you feel valuable. Like you mattered to someone. Today when you came to your usual spot it was empty. Nothing surprising, Johnny and you never agreed on times to meet, it was by coincidence. Yet when you reached the bench, you normally sat on next him there was a paper taped to it. "-⭐ 559-xxx-xxxx "

The star. Johnny wore stars on his clothing and beanie regularly and his last name was Joestar so potentially... He left the note here earlier for you to have his number? Nervously you got your phone out and typed the number in to shoot him a message. "You're lucky I found it." Not too long after a message came in. "Y/N?" "No, the pervert who found your message. Yes of course it's me." "Thank God. I was nervous once I got home you might not come today, and the note would get destroyed." "You're a lucky one." You typed and decided to walk back home already. "I know I am. How are you?" ------

The next time you met Johnny was on his home turf. 

You had texted with him a good chunk before, and he invited you over to his place. To say you were curious and nervous was an understatement. You'd meet Gyro, the Italian Johnny lived with, see his apartment, and room and deepen the strange friendship you two had.

It was a weird feeling, since you had previously only meet on a bridge both of you wanted to jump off to end your life. You pressed the doorbell nervously and waited a few seconds before a tall, blond man opened the door. He had long beautiful hair and shining green eyes with a flashy smile thanks to the gold grills. 

"Gyro I assume." You said, somewhat intimidated, unsure how to carry yourself. You offered your hand and Gyro pulled you into, giving you a friendly hug, making you almost trip over in the process. 

"So, you're the bridge friend! It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you, Johnny talks a lot about you!" Gyro proclaimed and your blood ran cold. Did Gyro know? "Johnny is over in his room, second door to the left. I'm busy cooking for us tonight, so I'll catch you in a bit yeah?" 

Gyro had something about him that made you feel comfortable despite everything. His energy and smile were a little infectious and you could easily tell why Johnny liked him. "Thank you. Good luck with the cooking." "I don't need luck, it's in my blood." He grinned, before disappearing in the kitchen. You grabbed your backpacks strap a little tighter before you went to Johnny's room, knocking before you entered. 

You didn't know what you thought his room would look like, but it certainly wasn't like this. White Ikea furniture, a big desk with his wheelchair in front of it. On it a high-tech computer. Big wardrobe, opposite to it and to the right, right next to the door was his bed with Johnny on it. 

"Glad you could make it." He said, a smile on his lips. "And miss out on seeing your room and getting to know the funny man that just pulled me inside? Wouldn't miss it for the world." 

On the wall next to Johnny’s bed were several framed pictures which you quickly inspected. Many were of his horse, Slow Dancer, some were with Gyro and Johnny on horses, riding, or doing some fun stuff together. 

"Describing Gyro as Funny feels like a hate crime." Johnny said dryly. "Aw, I like him. He seems fun." You saw a glint of jealousy flash over his face. "No worries, I like you even more." You sat down, next to Johnny on his bed and looked away. 

"Did you tell him why we met? He called me bridge friend." 

"No, no, don't worry. He thinks I just go there to relax and get out. If he knew what I originally went there for, he wouldn't let me leave the apartment without him." 

"Okay, good. I was afraid for a second." 

"Don’t be, I'd never tell him anything you told me that you'd probably don't want him to know. All he knows is pretty much that I met you while out and kept meeting you there. He also gave the idea with the note." 

That was very nice of him. Being immediately branded as "mentally ill", "unstable" or anything was one of your worst nightmares. Before you could say much, Gyro popped his head in. "Dinner is almost ready!" He proclaimed before leaving again. 

"Come on. Let's go." Johnny just said and went to get the crutches near the bed end that you hadn’t noticed until now. You quickly went to grab them for him as you were closer. "Didn't know you could partially walk." 

"I don’t like bragging with dat Physical therapy. I'm also not very good at it, still relying on my chair a huge chunk of the time." "That's still progress though." Johnny tried his hardest to suppress the smile on his face. You just went for the door, opening it for him. 

"After you M'Lady." Johnny rolled his eyes and went ahead so you could follow him to the living room where Gyro had set up the tiny dinner table. You took a seat next to the window with Johnny next to you. Next to him and the window too would Gyro then sit, who now came in, cursing in Italian, probably because the stealing bowl in his hands was burning them. 

"Cazzo." He said as he put it down and you curiously eyed the dark green bowl. Spaghetti. You had to smile. "Well then, I hope it tastes as good as it is hot." Gyro mumbled, taking his seat opposite to you. The first few minutes you simply sat in silence since you were still a little nervous and didn't know what to do. 

"So, your name's Y/N?" Gyro asked with a smile, flashing his grills again. You nodded, forcing an awkward smile. Johnny eyed you, noticed your discomfort and sneakily slid his free hand under the table to take yours. A kind smile adorned his lips, he was trying to make you comfortable, and he easily succeeded at that. Not that you’d let him know that he had too much of an ego already.

"What a pretty name!" Gyro said resting his head now on his hands. "Thank you. Gyro is pretty and quite unique too. You're from Italy Johnny mentioned?" "Naples to be exact. So, you and Johnny are friends?" Before you could answer said blond chimed in. 

"Yeah, but I might need to reconsider because they called you funny." Gyro happily clasped his hands together, his smile growing wider. "Oh Johnny, we both know you’re laughing at my jokes too. You just don’t wanna admit it!" 

The evening was one of the nicest you had in a long while. Gyro and Johnny were incredibly comfortable to be around and got you out of the hardened shell you had developed. 

---------

You unlocked the door with the spare key Gyro and Johnny gave you a while ago. Your backpack was uncomfortably warm by now, so you were happy when you dropped it off once in Johnny's room. 

Can you come over, spare some time? It's a bad day.

Johnny had sent that to you, and you made sure to not lose time before dropping by. 

"Hey." Johnny mumbled. He was entangled in his bedsheets, his head messy, and expression tired. "Hey." You answered and began opening your backpack, a familiar smell immediately invaded Johnny's nostrils. You placed the red box carefully next to him, waiting for his reaction. 

"Did you seriously stop by a McDonald's on the way here to bring me a fucking happy meal of all things?" Ah good, his snarky side was still intact. 

"Yeah. Thought you might like the toy and you apparently need a Happy meal today." Johnny chuckled, falling onto his back and hiding his face with his arm. "You're crazy." 

"That's why you like me." 

"Did you bring Gyro something too? He'll be pissed if he gets back and sees he didn't get anything." You laughed and went back to your backpack, grabbing another happy meal. 

"Of course. Lemme bring it to his room, be back soon." You said and left for Gyros room. You opened the door and placed it on Gyros messy desk that was cluttered with medical books and papers. You pushed it a little aside to not place the meal on anything important and then marched back to your blond friend who needed you today. 

"Did you get it for the “My Little Pony” toys?" He asked as he spun around the plastic horse in his fingers. "Yeah. Got you Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie for Gyro." 

"You're ridiculous. Just because we both ride?" You nodded proudly and went to grab your single burger. "Eat, you need it." You reminded him as he begrudgingly shoved some fries in his mouth . 

You both sat against his headboard with Johnny soon resting his head on your shoulder as he chewed on a cheeseburger. "What has you down today?" You finally asked, curious why he had asked you to come over. 

"Today is my accidents anniversary." You furrowed your brows. "You shouldn't keep track of that." "I'm not. The date’s just engraved in my brain. Whenever I wake up on this date, I'm immediately reminded of it." 

Oh Johnny, you thought and went to grab his hand. It was nicely warm, and you intertwined your fingers with his. "Then how about we make it a habit of doing something fun that day. Get your mind off it?" 

With a hesitant and lazy nod Johnny agreed and you pulled out your phone to save it in your calendar. You checked the "Yearly reminder" option and went to type in the name of the appointment. "Johnny Day" you named it and heard a chuckle from you shoulder. 

"A whole day dedicated to me?" Now you nodded and smiled as you went back to your Home screen which was a picture of you Johnny and Gyro together, just doing funny faces. You tossed it aside, as it wasn't important as the blond next to you. Seeing as Johnny was done with his food, you put it away, and then gestured for him to properly lay down.

 As he did as asked, you did the same, resting you head on his shoulder, one of your arms draped around his waist. Johnny's arms also found your frame, pulling you close to him. "You know..." You began as your hand lazily drew circles in his side. "I had a horrible day too. But being here with you now... It made it an okay day." Johnny smiled lazily. "Knowing I made your day better makes mine better." 

You two remained like that. Just holding onto the other and enjoying the warmth and comfort that was provided. 

 "I'm home!" Gyro called out into the dark apartment feeling bad for not being able to be there for Johnny today. He knew very well what day it was and when Johnny didn't even really speak to him early that morning, he just knew what was going on. But he unfortunately had important classes today that he absolutely couldn't skip no matter how bad he wanted to. 

Once in his own room, Gyro was confused by the happy meal box placed on his desk. He giddily looked inside finding a pony toy and some food that has been cold for a while now. Gyro immediately had a suspicious who might have deployed that there. 

With whispered nyo-ho-ho’s he tiptoed to Johnny's room, carefully opening it, only to completely forget his mischievous plans as he saw Y/N and Johnny cuddling together on the bed, soundly asleep. A dreamy smile painted his expression as he just couldn't believe how adorable they were. 

As silently as he could he closed the door again, going back to his room to see if he could heat up his nuggets again. He made a mental note to thank Y/N for their kindness tomorrow. 

-------

You let your head crash against Johnny headboard. Your phone bored you, so you tossed it aside and listened to the mechanical keyboard sounds Johnny made while typing. 

You contemplated just dipping, going home to live your depressive episode in your own four walls without having to worry about Johnny and Gyro. It has been a shit week kind of. 

Nothing went right, pure stress from all sides, stuff that would have anyone down, but you just felt particularly exhausted and drained. Even coming over felt like a chore today and it wasn’t much better than Johnny was a busy bee, typing away code and text without much of a pause. 

You looked over to the blond who downed his third coffee of the day and read something on his screen. Maybe you bothered him? Was he secretly hoping you'd finally leave? Probably not, you knew him well, but intrusive thoughts are intrusive and often illogical, so you were stuck with that. But knowing you'd probably rip him out of his flow you decided to just remain on his bed, not making the effort to leave. 

From the other side of the wall, you could hear Gyro cursing in Italian, he probably got something in his online questionnaire wrong. Somehow that was soothing. The silence with the keyboard sounds and occasionally sounds of a strange Italian man made you feel at ease, so it was better to remain here and not sit in silence in a dark lonely apartment. 

You shifted and went to rest your head on Johnny's blue pillow that smelled just like him. It involuntarily made you smile a little. You simply closed your eyes trying to get some rest and recharge energy by simply trying to relax. And it worked wonders. Your head felt empty and light, letting you just lay there, taking in the sound of Johnny typing away. 

Until the typing stopped. You looked over, wondering why the typing had stopped only to see Johnny looking at you worryingly. To your further surprise, he got up from his wheelchair, which he prefers to use for his desk, and made the few steps over to the bed, using the desk for support before dropping on the bed.

 Once on it he crawled up to you, carefully pressing your back against his chest. "What's with you, you have been so silent all week." He said and you felt bad for making him worry and stop in his work. "Just a shit time. You know how it is." You heard him exhale through his nose, signaling his approval. 

"No need to worry. You gotta work on your assignment." You tried to remind him, not wanting to keep him from more important tasks and to be frank, you felt like the very least important thing all around. But Johnny's grip around you only tightened. 

"Not happening. I'm staying right here with ya. You have been there for me so much recently, the last I can do is be here with you. Also, I have been coming along so well today, I can easily take a break." Absentmindedly you nodded and took hold of his hand. "It's important though Johnny." 

"Right now, you're the most important thing for me. Let me be there, okay Darlin’?" Arguing with the Kentuckian was pointless you knew as much. He was a stubborn asshole, and therefore if he decided to lay with you on the bed, nothing could change his mind. 

"What has you feeling down?" He asked you just shrugged, carefully to not accidentally hurt him by doing so. Death by a shoulder into his face was certainly not cool. "I dunno. I guess everything? This week has just been me making a fool of myself everywhere. From me missing appointments, forgetting my stuff and lots of added stress on top of all that... It's just a lot currently. Lots of people tell me I’m bothering them."

 You turned to lay on your back, Johnny remained on his side, studying you face. You just looked up at the ceiling, as you continued. “I’m not bothering you or Gyro too, am I?” 

Johnny quickly rebutted, “Never. I’d rather you are here and give me an excuse for a break than you sitting alone in that apartment of yours, hear me?” 

You nodded, feeling the breaking point coming as tears build up in your eyes. Crying in front of Johnny wasn’t embarrassing at least, he too had cried in your arms before. It was no big deal. 

“Stay the night yeah? M’sure Gyro won’t mind cooking for one person more. Right?” The last part he screamed, loud enough to summon the Italian from the next room. 

“What was that?” Gyro asked once he too was in the room. You crying, while cuddling with Johnny wasn’t even odd to him anymore. He had walked in on you two doing weirder things, like getting drunk together and quoting old memes. 

“I said you wouldn’t mind cooking for one more person when Y/N stays the night.” “Of course not. You’re always welcome here!” Gyro proclaimed and you thanked him for it before you noticed something. 

“Every time I’m here Gyro cooks. I’m starting to get the feeling Johnny doesn’t cook at all, because he can’t each the top shelves.” Gyro began crackling like crazy and Johnny immediately deadpanned. “I-It’s because he can’t look into the pots o-on the stove!” Gyro managed to press out between his laughs and you laughed like crazy too. 

“I hate you two so much.” Johnny mumbled and let go of you to sit up. “Making fun of my height when I’m in a wheelchair. That’s offensive I’ll have you know!” “Gyro is also taller when you’re standing though.” You argued and earned a flick to the head from the blond man. 

Gyro finally managed to get a grip and made his way to the kitchen, still laughing. “How mean of you, I offer you to spend the night, in my bed of all things and you make fun of me!” Johnny complained and you went to hug him.

“Im sowwy Jownny.” He was cute when he was pouting. “At least you’re laughing, so I accept you making jokes at my expense. For now.” You smiled and kissed his cheek. “There ain’t much to make fun of though. I’m better when I make fun of Gyro.” Johnny raised an eyebrow. “Really?” 

“Yeah. Come on get in your chair, lets bully him back while he cooks.” Johnny did as asked and let you roll him into the kitchen. Normally he didn’t like someone rolling him around. You though? 

You were allowed pretty much anything when it came to him. Even making fun of him.

-------

You huffed and puffed as you moved the boxes. 

"Il mio Dio, Y/N." Gyro mumbled as he went to grab one away from you. "What's in there?" He asked as he watched the poorly scribbled note. "My anime figures." He looked at you with a deadpan expression that you were only used to from Johnny. 

"Ah come on, you already moved in last week. Don't judge me." You complained and grabbed the last two boxes of your own. "Yeah and thanks to us, you won't even need to care about setting up the furniture, we already did that." You bickered with Gyro a little more until you two finally set the boxes inside your new room. 

A while ago Johnny and Gyro had asked you if you wanted to move in with them, in a bigger apartment of course, as it became a totally normal thing to spend a huge chunk of time there already. You happily said yes, excited to not sour in your old apartment anymore but instead to live with your two closest friends.

 Johnny was busy unpacking some of your stuff already while you and Gyro went to get the last boxes from your old apartment with his pickup truck. Once in your new room, you felt content with how Johnny was decorating things already.

 "I'll hang up the pictures though, we don't want them at waist height." You joked and earned an elbow to the ribs from him. "Come on you can't even complain at my work so far." 

You really couldn't. He had set up your plastic plants nicely, made your bed already, however he managed that, Gyro and you must have taken a while, and put the bedside lamp on the table. "No no, you're doing fine. Can't wait to unpack everything and get settled in." 

"Can't wait to finally rest in someone else's bed." Johnny joked. In the time you have known one another Johnny has never been in your old apartment. It was simply a good bit away, wheelchair unfriendly, and super cramped. 

Even Gyro said so and he was in the already empty rooms.

 And it was a regular thing that you and Johnny shared a bed. Gyro considered you two a couple already, besides not officially being one or anything. The blond Italian simply enjoyed watching you two dance around one another, feelings clearly blossomed in both of you. 

"Who said you're allowed in my bed, Johnny?" 

"I did and I know i am." 

"That attitude of yours will be your death someday." 

Silence lingered as you two kept unpacking and sorting. You let Johnny keep on decorating your boards and table, while you were busy stuffing your clothes into your new wardrobe. 

While you were busy trying to get your hoodies into the tiny space, Johnny found something in your box that peaked his interest. A tiny book decorated with Stars and a horse, probably drawn by you. 

Johnny checked over his shoulder, you were still busy and cursing, trying to fit stuff in so he decided to have a look. At the first page his note with his number was taped in. 

He flipped ahead to check what else was here. Receipts from when you guys went out , movie tickets, pictures of you, Johnny and Gyro. You had collected memories in here, he concluded and flipped towards the end. There was a picture of him and you on Slow Dancer that Gyro had taken. Underneath it read "Keep going. For this." Around it you had doodled pretty stars. 

Johnny had been so amazed by this that he didn't notice your looming presence over him. "Weren't you taught not to snoop." You spoke, making Johnny almost jump out of his chair. 

"Sorry, sorry, i was just intrigued." "Dummy." You mumbled and flicked his head, taking the book away into your bedside table drawer it wandered. "It's cute." He spoke. "Thanks. My therapist advised me to try to visualize what keeps me motivated and Honestly ever since I met you, it's been wanting to make more experiences and memories with you." You confessed casually. "Same here." Johnny said with a faint shade of red on his cheeks. 

The buzzing of the apartment door had you both snap out of the situation, and you knew what it meant. 

"Pizza is here!" Gyro proclaimed, setting the boxes down on the couch table. Johnny was already going through Netflix's catalog to pick something to mindlessly watch. 

Once decided, you three sat there, watching some parody movie. Gyro was seated next to Johnny, and you sat on the floor in front of the paraplegic. Dinner was silent, except for Gyros occasional bad jokes as he found the movie not entertaining enough. 

His two friend were soon sick of his antics though, so when Gyro offhand mentioned he still had to go and study some more, the other two silently thanked god for it. 

At first you were alone in your new room, just stretched out on the bed, enjoying the way Johnny had set up things so far, but you knew you'd make it even more homely in the next few weeks. This too would soon come into the book. 

A knock on the door soon interrupted your train of thoughts and you moved to look who entered. It was Johnny to no one's surprise and he casually came over, having taken his crutches from his room. 

"You're getting better at it." "Stop lying." You chuckled. Johnny hated being complimented on his walking progress. 

He described it was "patronizing. No one compliments you when you're normally walking either so why now?" You knew it was mainly Johnny's self-hatred that made it hard for him to accept compliments, so you made sure to give him enough to get used to them. 

Johnny sat down on your bed, the mattress shifting a little as he did and put away his crutches before he scooted over closer to you, embracing your figure in his arms. "Are you happy?" "Now I am." You answered, a chuckle escaped Johnny's body, as he held you closer. 

"I was mainly talking about your room and the apartment but alrighty." You inhaled Johnny scent as you were pressed against his chest, your head resting in the crook of his neck. He felt like home. He and Gyro did. The two had taken prime slots in your heart and you were always in better mood with them around, even on your worst days. 

"Johnny?" "Mhm." He mumbled, obviously just as tired as you. "I love you." "Me you too darlin'." He squished you a little and you gave his neck a kiss in return. 

It was nothing but a casual confession. Just words to properly express and define your feelings towards him now. The lines between "Friend" and "Lover" had long been blurred already. You two didn't need labels. 

You were simply Y/N and Johnny, who found deep appreciation for one another when you met on a bridge you wanted to jump off. 

[lord-squiggletits]

OH, I am so interested in your idea for SG Tarnma.

Okay so my exact ideas for SG Tarnma vary a lot, because I think there's two different canon varieties of Shattered Glass: the original Fun Publications SG where everything was completely flipped and turned into crack-canon, and then what IDW later did with Shattered Glass IDW1 where it was more or less just role reversal IDW1 with only some "complete flipping" of lore and personality. There's also my own personal Shattered Glass universe that I built for Pay Unto Evil, so I could also answer this question as "what would Tarnma be in the SG PUE universe."

That being said I'll do my best to explain all of the different ideas I've had for SG Tarnma. All of them are pretty different so I'm not really particularly attached to any one, but here goes

Version 1: FunPub complete role reversal style. Pharma was originally a mere energon farmer get it lol and has a very meek, shy, unconfident personality. He got enlisted by the Autobots, but he spoke too quietly when they asked for his name (Farmer), so they started calling him Pharma. Then at some point Ratchet is like "yo I'm gonna make this completely untrained guy do medical operations. No I'm not gonna send him to medical school he can learn on the job!" And so Pharma becomes Ratchet's apprentice and develops even more anxiety from the hundreds of times he murders patients either on accident bc he literally has no medical training, or on purpose bc Ratchet made him. He's literally just trying his best and doesn't even want to be here. Meanwhile, the SG DJD is known as the Decepticon Jokester Division, formed as a sort of circus troupe meant to bring good cheer to the Decepticons in a time of depressing war. The members of the DJD are codenamed after the first cities they toured right before/when the war started. How reluctant medic Pharma and literal clown Tarn meet in this universe is anyone's guess.

Version 2: IDW style. Tarn and Pharma still have basically the same backstories as canon IDW1 except that Pharma is a professional assassin instead of a doctor (yknow, role reversal where Pharma is an expert at killing people instead of healing them). Also this universe's Pharma has the posh and aristocratic personality fandom thinks he has in canon lol. Maybe Pharma finds out about Tarn having a secret t-cog addiction, and he starts bringing t-cogs to Tarn in exchange for Tarn providing him intel (or some other service, idk). Maybe in this universe instead of Tarn torturing Pharma into insanity, Pharma somehow develops guilt for killing people because of Tarn, then defects from the Autobots willingly? Or they kick him out like in canon

Version 3: Pay Unto Evil SG. Tarn and Pharma would have their FunPub style backgrounds (though maybe Tarn's would be slightly more serious) with the added caveat of Pharma having the evil Matrix's mind control embedded in his brain. He still didn't join the Autobots willingly and wasn't even trained to be a doctor. Somehow he and Tarn meet and fall in love across faction lines because Tarn sees how much Pharma is suffering under mind slavery and feeling like he doesn't belong among his cruel comrades. It's a bit of a tragic one though, as Pharma warns Tarn that the Prime can look through his mind at any time thanks to the Matrix. If he finds out that Pharma is Tarn's vulnerability, he could use that against him somehow, or worse, mind control Pharma into trying to kill Tarn himself. They were both devastated when the universe swap happened and they thought they would never see each other again. Though Pharma secretly felt some relief that Tarn was now a universe away and can find someone else to love who isn't a mind-controlled walking time bomb that could try to murder him at any moment.