#he goes to some other source and they kindly inform him

[worstloki]

Villain balder au

Balder: Why can't WE be brothers instead 🥺

Thor: I have a brother!

*those goats scream in the background*

Baldur: can you make them be quiet please

Thor: make who be quiet

Baldur: ... the goats

Thor: my brother liked goats *sniffle*

Baldur: *eye twitch*

[strwyofthesun]

12:58

pairing: leon kennedy x agent!(fem)reader

synopsis: you become leon's informant for a mission while hunnigan is on leave and end up in a relationship with him a while after. all is well until leon goes on a certain mission.

word count: 3k

content: angst, hurt/no comfort, mentions of war, mentions of cheating, drunk leon, mention of bleeding, mentions of death (?)

a/n: there is a severe lack of hurt/no comfort leon fics on here and i plan on fixing that /j maybe there is and im just not looking hard enough but oh well if i can't find one i'll make one. also! this takes place after re:damnation which explains the us and russia war so pls dont be startled by the mention of it.

the rain poured heavily on the cold pavements of the sidewalk you and him once walked together, hand in hand, the both of you thought that maybe this was where you were both meant to be, with each other. atleast, that was you thought. if that were the case, you wouldn’t be under the pouring rain, crying over what you once thought was your forever. the salty tears mixed with the rain as the droplets hit your face. you bit your lip in frustration refusing to believe that this is happening to you, but you always knew, deep down, this was bound to happen.

a few months had gone by and things have finally settled down at the DSO ever since the war between the us and russia. missions have been more manageable and not as large scale as the war and everything else has been rather tame. you’ve been working as an FOS (field operations support) agent for quite some time already to know the ins and outs of how things work. its been a few years serving as agent and an information source to multiple other agents in the DSO but not once have you worked with the man himself, leon kennedy. his informant was ingrid hunnigan, a long time FOS agent. she had worked alongside leon ever since 2004 when he saved ashley graham, the president’s daughter and ever since then they have been working together until now. over time, the two of you have gotten close and have even worked together in some missions. not only were you co-workers, but also good friends outside of work.

you stood outside the office yet you could already hear the clatter and busy sounds of the people working. you opened the door and greeted your fellow co-workers a good morning, except for one person. scanning the room from all its four corners, you couldn't find hunnigan anywhere, not even at her desk. so, you asked a co-worker of yours that sat just a cubicle beside you about her.

“hey, have you seen hunnigan around?”

“oh, she’s on leave i think? i saw a note on her desk, it’s for you, so you can just check that out.”

“ahh, alright thanks.”

you walk up to hunnigan’s desk and hover over her files looking for the note that your co-worker told you about. you murmured to yourself, “here it is…”

“i’m currently on leave for while due to some family issues and they need me back home. it was really urgent, i’m sorry i couldn’t tell you sooner. also, i left my assignment to you so please do me the favor. leon is going on a mission by the time you’re reading this note, someone will get you patched up to his line so don’t worry. i owe you [y/n]. –hunnigan”

“she’s definitely gonna owe me for this…” you muttered curses in your head when you were suddenly interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.

“[l/n] right?” asked by an unfamiliar face. but based on hunnigan’s note, you knew that this is the someone she was talking about.

“yes that is me, i’m assuming you will get me on mr. kennedy’s line?”

“ah, yes. i see that you have been informed.”

“i don’t know the complete details of the mission so if you would kindly brief me…”

“don’t worry, please follow me.”

you followed them into a room where they explained the information you will be needed as leon’s informant for the mission. in the back of your head, you were nervous. you’ve never worked with leon before and he has made quite the name for himself in the government and is particularly well liked by the president. working with someone with such a high status made you really agitated but you calmed yourself down thinking that this was like every other mission you’ve been on.

a few hours had gone by and you are now in the communications area. you have all the files you needed in one folder, you’ve been briefed on the current situation, and everything seems to be under control.

“mr. kennedy is on the chopper as we speak. you may now call him and let him know all the other details that he will be needing.”

“i’m a bit nervous…”

“there is no need to be nervous, i’m sure hunnigan trusted you enough to know that you will do well in her place.”

“yeah, you’re right…”

“i’ll leave you be now, you got this.”

after the words of encouragement from hunnigan’s colleague, you took a deep breath and pressed the call button to which leon quickly responded. “so, where’s the landing po- oh?” he looked into the screen of his phone and squinted. “you’re not hunnigan…”

“you’re right, i’m not. just a substitute while she’s on leave. i have your landing point marked mr. kennedy.”

“oh is that so? don’t bother with the formalities, just call me leon. and you? how should i call you?”

“[y/n] will do.”

“alright [y/n], pretty name for a pretty girl like yourself.”

leon’s words caught you off guard and you could feel your face heat up. you cleared your throat and looked visibly flustered over the phone over a simple compliment from him. leon saw this and chuckled at the sight of you blushing through the screen.

“thanks… um...”

“so pretty girl, are you gonna inform me now or what?

“oh right, right… refrain from any making unnecessary comments while on the job please.” you said as you tried to regain some some sense into yourself.

“yes mam, whatever you say.” leon said with a grin on his face.

after that mission, you and leon still kept contact even when hunnigan came back from her leave. he would always message you about his day and he’d take you out on dates whenever he had the chance to. but the label was never specified between the two of you. you understood that in his line of work consistency within a relationship was hard to maintain. not only that, but the overthinking that you would have to face almost everyday would eat you up if you were not mentally strong enough to handle it. the thought that maybe leon could be badly hurt in a location you couldn't reach, or even worse, him dying on the job, not even having the chance to say his final goodbyes to his loved ones, friends, you. so you thought that maybe it was for the best.

you were each other’s relief and the more time went by, the stronger your feelings for leon grew. and because of this, you decided to distance yourself from him, in hopes that he would just forget about you so that he could focus on his work. but leon couldn’t forget you. everyday he thought of you, you were the first thing on his mind and the last thing he thinks about before going to sleep. and even in his dreams he saw you. 24/7 you were on his mind. everytime he was on a mission, he always thought of coming back home to you, but you didn’t know that. he never told you how much you have plagued his mind ever since the day he met you and heard your voice through the intercom. he found purpose and reason to live. he didn’t feel like someone who’s at the government’s disposal, a weapon, a mere shell of a person made to execute the living dead. when you had decided to distance yourself from him, leon needed you to know that it was the last thing he wanted.

the repeated ringing of your doorbell echoed in your apartment. you got up from your bed feeling annoyed and rubbed your eyes as it adjust slowly to the bright light of your digital clock. 12:58, who could be ringing your doorbell like a maniac at this hour? slowly, you shuffled to the front of the door and checked the peep hole before opening the door. suddenly, your half-asleep state suddenly vanished and you were completely awoken by the sight of leon outside your door. it had been a few weeks since you had cut contact with him, and you did not expect him to show up infront of your doorstep at that very moment.

once leon heard the sound of the door unlock, he swung it open and immediately threw his arms around you.

“leon, what are you-“

“please, don’t leave me…” he choked out these words as he pulled away from his embrace and you could see his eyes start to well up with tears.

“i have loved you ever since i have laid my eyes on you. and these past few weeks had made me realize how much i've missed you. whether it was a text, a call, time with you, i missed everything about you. i don’t ever want you to think that you’re just someone i waste my time with to get off. you matter so much to me and yes, i’d love to waste my time with you, not for my own pleasure, but because i love you. i love you so much it physically pains me when you’re not around so please… don’t leave me…”

“i’m here right now leon, i’m not leaving you… i promise.”

life after leon’s confession had looked up and the two of you had never been happier. he had moved in with you and every day you share together was a day well-spent. during the mornings, you and leon would always take a stroll down the pavements outside your apartment, hands intertwined, the both of you enjoyed each other’s company for as long as time could allow. for the first few months, as you expected, the overthinking hit you. was he going to come back safely? is he going to survive? when would he back home? anything could happen to him. leon knew this would happen at one point and he never wanted you to worry. so, he would send you sweet messages or even call you when he could but you didn’t want to interrupt him on his missions. that's why sometimes, leon would send messages to hunnigan for her to pass on to you. you could see how much effort leon was putting into the relationship and it made your heart skip a beat everytime you think about it, especially because you felt like you didn’t deserve it. you didn’t deserve any ounce of leon’s love. but leon always told you otherwise. and he would always show you that you deserved every single bit of it.

later on in the relationship, you and leon got to know each other fully. he opened up about his childhood, his traumas, and ada. he reassured you that even though ada was a big part of his life before, you were his now and his future. and you did feel somewhat thankful for ada because you knew that without her, leon would not have survived the raccoon city incident. but it haunted you knowing that she was all he could think about for a big portion of his life. not to mention his relations with her before the us and russian war. knowing that they have been together and that he longed for her return everytime. how could you compare to the woman he had yearned for years on end. every time you would overthink this, leon would always reassure you that if she came back he wouldn’t be phased by her presence because he was inlove with you and only you. atleast, that’s what he said.

leon was off to another mission as per usual, you kissed him and bid him the words you always say before he goes. “be safe always and don’t forget to return to me. i love you leon.” he smiles and would always respond back, “i’ll be safe and i will always return to you. i love you too [y/n].” it was basically a ritual at that point.

a few hours later, your phone buzzed and the screen lit up. it was a text from leon.

my special agent: hey princess, i’ll be sent off soon. can’t wait to finish this so i can get back home to you.

you: alright, take care baby, i love you.

my special agent: i love you more ;)

you were at ease but it didn’t last long when days turned into weeks and you haven’t heard from him. you decided to ask hunnigan during work about leon’s whereabouts.

“hey hunnigan, have you heard from leon?”

“umm, no i haven’t had contact from him in awhile… what’s the matter?”

“he’s been radio silent and i’m getting worried that something happened in his mission.”

“his mission? it was successful. he finished it 3 weeks ago.”

“3 weeks ago? then why hasn’t he let me know?”

“i’m sorry [y/n] but i am not aware of his whereabouts ever since he finished. try asking chris if he knows anything.”

“i will, thank you hunnigan.”

“i hope things are fine...”

“i hope so too…”

you clocked out of your job for the day and dialed chris. as your phone started ringing, you started to drown in your thoughts at what could have possibly happened to leon. what has he been doing these past 3 weeks? where was he staying? is he okay? is he badly injured? worry after worry started filling your head that you suddenly found yourself crying.

“hello? hello?” a voice suddenly spoke up from the phone. you didn’t realize that chris had already picked up the phone.

“[y/n]? are you there?”

you sniffle before responding and cleared your throat, “yes! i’m here um, have you heard from leon by any chance?”

you hear chris heavily sigh over the phone.

“is there something wrong chris? please tell me he’s okay…”

“hes… he’s fine, but he isn’t here with me now. i’ll bring him over there.”

“please do… thank you so much chris.”

“anytime [y/n].”chris dropped the call. “should i tell her…”

night time soon fell and you were outside the apartment building waiting for chris’s car to arrive. you were worried sick and checked your watch every 5 minutes feeling the most anxious you have ever been. there was a pit in your stomach and all you wanted to do was throw up due to the overwhelming thoughts. 12: 58, they’re here.

“chris! leon!” you call out for their names. chris got out of the car carrying a drunk leon to you.

“i’m sorry to bring him to you in this state…”

“it’s okay chris, thanks again.”

“again, anytime [y/n], be strong.”

“be strong?” you thought to yourself. what did chris mean? he passed over leon to you and he fell into your arms. chris drove off before tried talking to leon.

“leon, hey, are you okay?” you asked as you tried to brush off the hair off his face. it revealed a crying leon which surprised you.

“i… i’m so sorry [y/n]…”

“it’s okay baby you’re here now, safe and sound, that’s what matters..”

“no… no!" leon shouted as he pushed you away.

“leon what is wrong? please, tell me!” you begged.

“i saw ada again.”

you stood there, shell-shocked, dreading the following words that leon was gonna utter. you prayed to all the gods out there that it wasn’t what you thought it was.

“i… we… im sorry…” leon stumbled on his words.

“you what leon...?"

“i cheated on you…” he said as tears started to roll down his cheek.

“how could you…? after everything you’ve said? after everything we’ve been through? was it all a lie?” you walked up to him fighting back the tears.

“tell me leon! i deserve an explanation! you owe it to me! how could you do this to me?! was i not enough for you?! where did i go wrong? tell me!” you punched him in the chest and gripped it tightly.

“i love you leon… i thought you loved me too?”

“i do love yo-“

“you don’t! you wouldn’t-“ you feel a lump in your throat. “you wouldn’t have done that if you loved me…”

“it was a mistake [y/n], please i’m sorry…”

“leon… stop…”

“i’m sorry… please… forgive me.”

“you said you’d return to me…”

“i did… im here right now, aren’t i?”

“no. you returned to her.”

leon embraced you tightly, clinging onto you but you only stood there. its as if the world you have created for you and him had crashed down right before your eyes. everything you once knew, felt like a lie. all these months, you’ve been living a lie. but what could you have done? how could you, a woman who has been with him for less than a year, compete with the likes of her? the woman who’s saved her countless of times, the first woman he ever loved, the woman who he had waited for almost all his life. your relationship felt too good to be true. you knew, it was too good to be true, you were right, it was to good to be true. you felt like a fool for blindly believing leon’s words. bullshit. you were never his future, you were just a distraction, until she finally came back. the realization stung you and its poison was seeping into your veins destroying you inside out.

“leon, pack your stuff now.”

“don’t do this [y/n], please i’m begging you.”

“don’t make me say it twice, pack it now."

leon looked at you for one last time before letting you go in defeat, walking away from you and into the apartment building. you open your phone and dial chris once more to which he picked up immediately.

“chris, please come back, pick up leon."

“[y/n]- “ before he could even say anything else you dropped the call and the rain began to pour. your knees began to feel weak and you drop down on the cold pavement. your chest feels tighter and tighter, breathing becoming hard and heavy. you clutch tightly onto your chest as you choke back the tears. feeling exhausted and tired, you let it all out, screaming, wailing, and begging any higher force to take away the pain, but it looked like even the gods above couldn’t help you. you were helpless and alone once more. you bit your lip as hard as you can trying to contain yourself. so much so until it started to bleed. but you didn’t care. you didn’t care about anything at all at this point. a part of you wished you could turn back time to when you were happy but you questioned yourself wondering what could’ve been better. reliving all the moments together, even though you knew how it will all end, in pain and suffering, or just never accepting hunnigan’s favor, never making contact with him, never meeting him, never falling in love with him.

[lagsemantics]

Hi! Would you like to talk about your Soundwave Misfire rairpair? It's actually pretty cute ngl. How did they meet?

bahah thank you for asking!!

i've laready pestered @robot-rarepairs-dotcom about this in this specific ask but, yeah, why not yell it out loud and proud for the people in the back? and come to think of it maybe i should make a comic out of it sometime someday??? or a fanfic? no, i shant...

so. from the top. the war is still raging on all fronts. there is the fighting with blasters, guns, cannons ad whatnot, sure. but. its said that wars are won off the battlefield. and soundwave, as the chief intel officer is here to secure the rightful victory of the decepticons.

but its not an easy job by any means. there is infinite amount of information to be sourced and only so many tasks sw can attend to at a given moment. so knowing the right cybertronians and having mechs in the right places was all but crucial. and the neutral underground is one such place. but here comes an obstacle. neutrals dont take kindly to 'cons. it'd be a long and tedious process to plant a new network in there. it'd be so much easier if soundwave could find anyone who is already a regular in those spaces. and time is of the essence. there must be something, someone...

...and here comes the idea to employ the scavengers as contacts.

soundwave is naturally skeptical of the idea. the scavs? the bottom of the bottom of the barrel? undisciplined, lousy and, most probably, disloyal? but that just further proves the point. no one would put them under scrutiny. no one would pay them any mind, no one would care. they could slip in anywhere, anytime, get what soundwave needs and then disappear with no trace, since no one even payed them more than a passing glance and a dismissive scoff.

their questionable allegiance is another thing. the one thing soundwave is certain theyre loyal to is survival. he can grant them that. the decepticon high command has a lot of shanix to spare.

and its not like they need to get any major missions, either. soundwave could run a test trial to figure out whether this solution was at all worth investing into.

besides, the scavenegers (as most of the low-ranks) were expendable assets, after all.

and so the chief intelligence officer yields. soon after they send an anonymous signal to the w.a.p., requesting to meet their representative in some shithole bar on a neutral planet.

misfire lost the straw pull and was chosen to be the representative. which in practice meant he was the one speaking with the mysterious figure while the rest of the gang was to sit around (mostly) quietly and listen. and enage if the things went south. because, where one goes, the others do as well.

only when the mission renders sucessful, soundwave reveals himself - to shock and awe of the scavs. but, nevertheless, a long term symbiotic relationship formed. scavengers did what they were instructed to, to mixed results, but they did nontheless. soundwave paid accordingly. all was well.

but there is more to it than meets the eye.

soundwave, though he would never admit it, would grow fond of the scavengers - the lowkey, chill and maybe even fun life they had. a far cry from what he was forced to put up with in the high command. no more power struggle, no more persisting rumors of war. for a moment, aboard of the w.a.p. he could no longer be the head of the decepticon intel office. he could... just exist. not sure how he feels about it, yet. he needs more time to figure it out.

at the center of this is misfire, naturally. the one who talked to him first and the one who was sort of ushered into the role of the one to build a figurative scavengers-soundwave relationship bridge. naturally at first misfire and the others didnt take too kindly to soundwave. as a team they had rather complicated views on the high command as a whole. and soundwave was the very idea of the high command. as skeptical as the scavenger would be, the relationship was beneficial. soundwave became a token of survival for them. but soon enough though, that was to change.

i mean, misfire isnt stupid. he's introspective. he likes people. he likes knowing people. even soundwave was not beyond his curiosity. and, accidentaly or not, he got to know soundwave. the little things about him, that naturally started to seep out of his hardened shell now that he could, primus forbid, finally relax. soundwaves concealed passion for music, his innermost philosophical reflections, the way he cares about his casettes. the mask faltered.

soundwave is being taught how to be his own mech - who he is and who he has potential to be off the battlefield. he's been taught about the importance of trust as a part of loyalty and to overcome the egoism and dispassionateness which emerged as a part of desensitization that came about from everything he has experienced. misfire has been taught of bravery, the many ways to be strong and how important it is to fight for what he believes is right - to live for something beyond just the sake of living.

soundwave has also been converted into a gamer. he's become frighteningly skilled at whatever the cybertronian equivalent of mario kart is. but he lets misfire win :]

oh, and since then soundwave has brought along his casettes to one of his w.a.p. visitations. misfire is slowly but surely advancing to become "the cooler dad". soundwave is not sure how to feel about this.

[sparklecryptid]

More random thoughts that made me laugh - a Lovecraft-inspired thought about how a Lazarus might respond to a question about Luche’s whereabouts. “In her Uncle’s home on Angelgard Rita’s daughter lies dreaming.”

Auto-correct, the bane of everyones existence!

ahem.

have a thing.

@hamelin-born

-

Cor is good at getting information. He knows he is good at getting information. Cor is one of the best at sniffing out leads and then rending the leads and the trail of traitorous garbage it leads to to ashes. There is no trail he can't follow and no one he can't threaten.

Or at least he thought that was the case, until Luche Lazarus blew up half a battlefield, ripped fate apart in a carnage of magic and blood, and proceeded to vanish off the face of Eos.

Cor can't find her. Her comrades can't find her. Titus fucking Drautos probably knows where she is but is refusing to tell him or Regis where the erstwhile princess is. Drautos had pulled out some bullshit about honoring a 'life debt' when threatened with treason and Regis and Cor had back down because the two of them know what that means.

It's the same thing that binds Cor to Regis after all, punishing Drautos for not tattling on his princess seems to be in bad taste.

So Cor goes to the next available source of information.

He goes to Clan Lazarus. The fact that they're seers means they must have some sort of information on their wayward daughter.

It turns out they do.

It also turns out they do not want to share that information with Cor or the King.

"She's with her uncle," one says, repeating the words others have spoken to Cor in the past three days, "She's safe."

"I need to know where she is," Cor grinds out.

"She's safe," the Lazarus repeats, "That's all that matters isn't it?"

-

Cor finally gets an audeince with the Clan Elder. She's an old woman, the white in her hair overtaking the strands of black that that still show.

Terra is also warm - not in body temperature - in the same way Regis is warm. Like she looks at you and knows that you're a threat but will treat you kindly anyway.

Cor is uncomfortable.

"Where is Luche Lazarus?" He asks Terra.

"Tita's daughter rests in her uncle's home on Angelgard," Terra says and Cor's blood runs cold.

-

Angelgard is unpleasant. The smell of salt in the air and the warmth of the sun that Luche can finally feel on her skin doesn't detract from that. Angelgard is too full of memories, of the echoes of Ardyn screaming and begging for it to be pleasant.

Still Luche is here for a reason. No one will think to look for her here, and although walking into her uncle's home - a small two bedroom cabin that is furnished far too expensively for Luche's taste - had gotten Luche almost sliced open by a scythe she can't say that she minds having Ardyn be a hovering presence as he scowls at her and drags her away from the parts of the island that hold his worst memories.

Luche doesn't mind it.

That doesn't mean she's expecting it when a furious Tredd blasts open the door and is treated to the exact same treatment Luche received when she arrived.

Cor has a blade to her uncle's neck and Luche considers stabbing him for the affront.

[mr-oscarwilde]

@sagewhisper It would be a massive pain to try to reply to you in the comments of our post, so we’ve just put our response in one single thing. 

It is bold of you to assume that we have not read De Profundis. It was one of the first things we read when we started having an interest in Oscar. Kindly refer to our post; we never said that it was not a valid piece of evidence. It is evidence of a lot of things—chiefly Oscar’s state of mind whilst he was in prison. But it is not objective fact. You mustn't take our word alone for it, though:

Oscar’s feelings towards Bosie at this time were complicated. Contrary to what it might at first seem, De Profundis is not a break-up letter. Oscar still, very much, wanted to be with him. […] Wilde brings up the ‘Oxford Mishap’ again and again in De Profundis. He emphasises this to show that Bosie was already ‘corrupted’ before they became intimate. Wilde also highlights the times he thought about ending the relationship and depicts a dynamic in which Bosie is constantly in pursuit, and he is constantly trying to escape. The explanations and justifications of his actions, and the anger and recriminations, make up such a large part of the letter that the ‘record of bitter moments’ overwhelms the more loving parts. Had he written the story of his friendship with Bosie at another time, he might have focused on the moments of joy rather than pain. (Indeed, there was such a record once, before Bosie burned his love letters.) In prison, he could produce only a story of suffering. [...] In the context of the prison document, nothing Bosie does is good enough. (Laura Lee, Oscar’s Ghost, ch. 17)

Douglas Murray also points out the distortion of Oscar’s recollections in his biography of Bosie (pages 77 and 101-102 are particularly relevant here). Interestingly enough, this entire topic is the source of increasing scholarly debate:

If one of them was exploiting the other, it’s not entirely clear who was the predator and who was the victim. The extent to which Bosie was responsible for Wilde’s downfall has been debated, while the source of Wilde’s foolish decision to sue the Marquis (arrogance? blind love for Bosie? deliberate martyrdom for a cause?) has likewise come under scrutiny. (Jean Roberta, ‘What Wilde Left Out of De Profundis’, The Gay & Lesbian Review)

Why shouldn’t we discuss this beyond the same old narrative that has been pushed for the past 100 years? That’s the thing with history; we have the incredible benefit of hindsight to objectively look at all the evidence, and should be able to posit views informed by research without being accused of ‘fetishizing’ or thinking their relationship was ‘some cutesy aesthetic’. Obviously. I’m pretty sure everyone knows they weren’t exactly an unproblematic couple. But you cannot conclusively state that Bosie was “a horrible excuse for a man and partner”, any more than you should act like Oscar was without flaws. He wasn’t. How did so many, after his death, recall him fondly? He was incredibly complex and possessed both good and bad traits, some of which appeared at different stages of his life. And if you cared to read more about Bosie—whilst not making his actions excusable (in particular reference to many of his actions that really were bad in the 1900s and 1910s)—he later recognised many of the mistakes he had made. He had masses said for Robbie, years after his death. He managed to converse with Vyvyan, at a ball in the late 1930s. He strongly rejected his earlier condemnation of Oscar, and Oscar Wilde and Myself. Oscar himself ends De Profundis by requesting that Bosie should tell him about his life, and his article in the Mercure de France, and the dedication of his poems: 'I have no doubt that there will be beauty in it.' He then goes on to explicitly express his belief that Bosie could learn from him; if he was so awful, would Oscar still display such faith in him, or demonstrate such an interest in him and their future reunion?

In pointing this out, we are not ignoring Bosie's bad sides. Shake your head all you want. We are not ‘Bosie apologists/defenders’; we are fully capable of acknowledging wrongdoing where wrongdoing was done. But these things can and should be discussed without the lens of De Profundis blurring Oscar’s entire relationship with Bosie. Do you think we have not read more about Bosie? We’ve read two biographies dedicated to him, alongside works focusing on Oscar.

This response can end on one of Bosie’s recollections, of words spoken by Oscar, ‘to the following effect’:

Surely you are not bringing up against me what I wrote in prison when I was starving and half mad. You must know that I didn’t really mean a word of what I said.

Considering Oscar rather happily returned to Bosie after his release, this bears some consideration, no?

[stephen9260]

So... Episode 5

I wanna start by saying a couple of things

I am not jewish and I am a singlet, so whatever I say, for how informed it may be, should never in any case be considered over the word of someone who is jewish or part of a system.

In this episode I saw some positive things in both aspects, and it should be reminded that even though people have been hired specifically for their knowledge in this regards and the show is doing it's best to accurately portay these aspects of the characters' lives, not everything can be 100% correct.

This post will contain discussion of DID, this there will be mentions of trauma but nothing explicit

With this said, I wanted to talk for a second about the latest episode.

About Marc's jewishness

We were finally given the system's backstory and origin, which, as we all have noticed, is completely different from that of the comics.

Which would not have been a problem if that wasn't one of the moments that most fiercely established Marc's complicated relationship with his jewishness.

Many shows differ from their original source material and it's completely fine but changing something so intrinsic to the main character is something that you wouldn't expect from a show that has technically hired people specifically to avoid misrepresenting the Jewish aspects of Marc's character.

I get that the plot of the traumatic event that led to Marc's DID is complicated and maybe, in a series that only had two episodes left, could have possibly seemed difficult to the producers to convey accordingly, but changing the story so drastically did not serve any purpose.

Maybe it made the story a bit more relatable, there are surely many more systems that have been born from repeated instances of domestic abuse than from discovering horrible truths regarding a family friend, but I believe such a change was ultimately not for the better.

In the end, Marc's identity as a jewish man is not being completely erased, but it is as of now still grossly overlooked.

Steven's role in the system [part of the following argument is based on something I found out to incorrect, I'll keep it as reference for what @excessivemultiplicity kindly explained in their reblog, please view it]

And now onto the part regarding the DID, which I maybe know a bit more about.

Still, I know that in a superhero show not everything can be portrayed perfectly, but I have to say that, presented as it is now, the Moon Knight system is not making much sense.

We have learnt that, compliant to comics canon, Marc is the core of the system, and that Steven was (probably) his first alter, created to cope with the abuse they received from their mother. In the scene we see of Steven as a child, the first time we see him front, he takes up the role of the caretaker, which from what I gather is also the role he had in the comics (we see him start tidying up his room, and taking care of the other alters and the body also involves minimizing the situations of danger the system may find themselves into and making their environment livable). This is also confirmed by the fact that he does not remember the abuse from his childhood, since that would be the role of a trauma holder, which he is not.

But as soon as the scene goes on and too when Marc talks about Steven being born, we get the idea that that was what he was supposed to be: a trauma holder. Marc talks about how Steven was supposed to be there to endure what Marc could not face on his own, but that is not the role of a caretaker. Normally trauma holders are separate alter of their own, and they would remember what happened to them. Steven does not.

I know every system is different and that I still have very much to learn, but from my (probably narrow-minded) prospective it really does sound at least a bit unrealistic.

Once again, if anything I say is incorrect, insensitive or should be added to, please let me know and I will fix/delete the post.

I'd also like to say that I'm sorry if the part about alter roles sounds a bit cynical and/or overly clinical, I have a hard time coming off as any different

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hi!!! Hello!!! How are you, hope you're well!!!!!

Before I request, I just wanna say I love you're writing!!! You're really talented and I hope you know it 💞💞💞💞

As for my request could I kindly request (Poly if it's not a problem) Tankman/John X NB! Reader x Steve? Where Reader is a Spy and had to go on a dangerous mission to enemy base and at some point the mission goes wrong and they lost contact with them for some long time. So it's all sad and crying and they make a funeral for Reader.

During which Reader shows up really injured but still alive and is like "WHAT'S UP BITCHES?!?!! DID YA MISS M- ....What are ya crying about??" Cuz I think everyone loves some good angst with comfort

"Remember the mission, [y/n]-"

"Yeah, yeah..gather intel and interrogate whoever the fuck I gotta to get it. Also, you can call me "sweetheart", ya know. It's not like it's a big secret."

"You'll do great, sweetheart!!" Steve cooed as he leaned towards John's radio, pouting as the latter pushed him away slightly. But he returned to his station.

Being a spy meant you had to take on dangerous missions, which often worried your two boyfriends--the leaders of the tankmen. Though they both had faith in your skills, as you've helped them gain an advantage over the enemy countless times.

And, in turn for your hard work, you were treated well by them on your days off.

John promised that after this especially difficult mission, he'll let you take a week's worth of vacation. Simply because he loved you--though he wouldn't give Steve the same break.

They kept talking to you throughout your infiltration, with you informing them of enemy routes and eavesdropping on conversations.

But somewhere along the way, you accidentally fell down a hole. "Oof! AH! OW! Son of a bitch!!"

"[Y/n]!" Steve panicked.

"What the hell happened? Are you alright?" John was growing worried as he heard your grunts of pain. Usually you were careful, but for all he knew..you could be walking right into well-placed traps.

"Y-Yeah, I'm just ducky.....oh..oh no.."

"What is it?"

"I...I-I don't think I can move. Damn that was a long fall."

"Should we send someone to help?" Steve asked.

"No, no." "I'm stuck way down here..you'll be shot in the dick ten times before you found me." You sighed, fearing that this was the end for you. "Steve..John..i-if anything happens...I lo-"

"Don't start saying that cliché sappy shit." John warned. "We're gonna get you out of...[y/n]?! Come in!" He began shouting, realizing the signal was breaking up.

Usually a captain would always keep his composure, but he was rapidly losing it as he lost you. 'No, no, no..why did it have to be right now?!'

Everyone else tried their best to reestablish contact with you, but to no avail.

All of the sudden, a loud boom erupted, making the ground tremble, and they turned to see the enemy base being blown to smithereens. Soldiers went flying and the watchtowers crumbled all around it, flattening the entire area within seconds.

"Fuck, man...." Sniper looked through the scope of his rifle to see the damage. "Maybe they'll turn up! [Y/n]'s a tough motherfucker-"

"No..I..I-I think they're gone.." John's voice began to crack as he and Steve stared at the rubble, realizing what had happened. "Nobody coulda survived that.""

.........

Although they had hope you'd somehow come back alive, several days have passed and your boyfriends had to accept the painful truth:

You died in that explosion. In a mission gone horribly wrong--but at the same time it was a success, given that the base was destroyed.

To honor your sacrifice, the tankmen hosted a funeral where only "good guys" were allowed. Everyone was crying around the makeshift grave they made you: Sniper, Bill, and...especially John and Steve.

They couldn't believe they failed to protect you, especially when they knew that in war..anybody could die.

It made them wish they never got attached to you, fearing this exact scenario would come.

Never again will they get to cuddle with you. Or passionately make out with you all night. Or watch sad movies with you comforting their sniveling-selves. Or-

"Hey fuckers, I made it!! H-Hah! Didja miss me?"

With a gasping sob, John's eyes widened as he dropped his helmet, recognizing the source of the voice. Steve did the same, before he found you limping over the nearby hill.

You were alive and..badly injured, with a damaged suit and crutches supporting you.

But by some fucking miracle you were alive.

The two shouted your name in unison as they ran over, nearly tackling you to the ground and hugging you tight. You were dazed for a moment, although when you heard them crying their eyes out, you dropped the crutches and hugged them close, leaning on them for support.

"Jeez, and you two say I'm a needy bitch." You chuckled. "There, there..I'm alright."

"H-How did you survive that?" Steve whimpered. "That explosion..i-it couldn't have-"

"I rigged it, I meant to activate the timer and get the fuck out but the fall nearly smashed the detonator to bits..it was fine, though. My radio wasn't so lucky." You explained. "I did..get us some intel so the mission didn't go to waste."

"W-We..can get intel from anywhere.." John sniffled, pulling away to look at you, while Steve still hysterically sobbed into your shoulder. "But..w-we only get one of you. You did a hell of a job, though, b-babe.."

You just smiled, glad to be back with your two clingy boyfriends.

"Now..how about the three of us take a vacay?"

"C-Can we, cap?" Steve looked at the other tankman, snot and tears dribbling down his face.

"You know what, screw it..I think we all need it." John nodded in agreement as he smiled as well. "We're gonna get a shit ton of ice cream."

[hadestigers]

27 cat mcscriff??

27: Randomly face-timing just to hear their voice/see their face

INT. UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - TIME UNKNOWN

The scene opens on what looks to be the interior of some sort of office building, if offices were dark, had no windows, and exuded an aura of mystery. Six office chairs sit abandoned, pulled out from their desks, and boxes full of files pile too high and too messily for the room to reasonably be in fit shape for any type of regular use.

A young DETECTIVE enters stage right, deftly pulling a personal phone out of the pocket of her trench coat. She walks with purpose, a clarity to her objective- until she stops abruptly, looking around her.

THE DETECTIVE Yeah, this’ll do.

She takes a seat on an office chair.

THE DETECTIVE …God, I’m really doing this, aren’t I?

It’s not even a question, really. She’s been following this trail for months now, pursuing leads and digging up clues, desperately sorting through information to try and differentiate fact from fiction- and all the clues tell her that she’ll find the truth here, directly at the source of it all. To give up now would be a betrayal of everything she’s worked towards for so long, not to mention a betrayal of her title as a detective.

THE DETECTIVE Well, if we’re really going to do this, we might as well do it right.

After a moment’s hesitation, she removes the visored helmet obscuring her features, revealing the visage of a young teenage girl.

THE DETECTIVE Okay, okay. (pause) Well, here goes nothing, I guess.

She dials a number. The phone rings one, two, three, four times before someone picks up. The man on the other side of the phone, BURKE GONZALES, smiles at the detective kindly.

BURKE Ah, hello! It’s good to hear from you. What did you need?

The detective does not respond, too busy blinking back the ghosts of her past. She is beginning to think that this call might have been a mistake.

BURKE (with some concern) Are you alright?

THE DETECTIVE I- I’m fine.

The detective visibly composes herself. She can’t falter here. The truth is so close, all of it in its entirety stretching out in front of her and close enough to touch- all she has to do to reach it is to ask.

She opens her mouth, and then closes it, swallowing. The words are still stuck in her throat. There is a moment of silence, until-

BURKE …Would you like me to talk to you instead?

The detective nods reluctantly, and Burke smiles at her.

BURKE Okay. I can do that - - Have you heard about the fossil that Brock brought back from his latest expedition? He’s told me it’s a part of the crest of some dinosaur- they found more intact specimens on site, so they let him bring a piece home…

The detective is tuning out his words, too busy contemplating what went awry with this conversation. Usually, she comes into these sorts of things prepared, questions readied in advance with a routine set of phrases in reserve, for all-purpose use. Somehow, this conversation had followed none of her scripts, and she mentally retraces the conversation to the root to find the point of derailment- when he had asked if she was alright.

She does not consider the implications behind the fact that she has not experienced a circumstance in which she has needed to prepare an answer to queries about her well-being for a very long time.

BURKE (cont’d) …He says that it’s a species from around the Cretaceous period- like the tyrannosaurus or the pterodactyl-

THE DETECTIVE I- I called. I called to ask you something.

BURKE (unfazed) Alright. What is it?

She came to ask a lot of things, really. If anyone was able to tell her what had happened to her family in this timeline- how things had gone so wrong that no version of her had even existed until she had arrived- it would be him. The detective has a hundred and some questions, all prepared and recited in advance, an interrogation that would tear open every last bit of truth to the entire story, lay it all flat in front of her like she’s always dreamed of.  It’s all the detective has dreamed of, her life’s work in this timeline finally concluded, her purpose finally satisfied.

…The detective’s purpose would be satisfied, that is. But confronted with the man she once called her grandfather, in another timeline, CAT MCSRIFF is realizing that the truth might not be enough to bring her peace, and the reality she has never wanted to face head-on crashes into her like a wave, tearing her prepared interrogations from her mind entirely.

So she asks about something else, instead, about something she’d only found in the depths of her investigations into her relatives in this timeline, in half-true articles published decades ago. It’s a shot in the dark- but maybe, just maybe…

CAT (tearing up) If you lost your family… if you knew, even if you didn’t want to know, that there was no going back to them anymore…

Burke’s eyes sharpen. He leans forward.

CAT (cont’d.) … how did you move on?

BURKE (sadly) Oh, Cat…

Burke contemplates her question for a long moment.

BURKE Your father asked me that once, a long time ago. Did you know that?

CAT No, I… I didn't.

Despite herself, Cat starts to cry.

BURKE You’ve been through a lot, Cat. It’s not easy to go through all that and still come out the other side swinging- but you don’t have to do it alone. You’ve got your teammates in Houston, and Sosa too, and you can reach out to me whenever you need, alright? Just- for anything at all, whenever you want, I’ll be there if you want me to, I promise. Do you remember what I told you when I gave you this number? Mexico City will always have a home waiting for you, if ever and whenever you need it.

CAT (still crying) …Just- answer the question. Please?

BURKE Alright, alright. I just wanted to make sure you remembered that. Now as for your question…

Burke sighs.

BURKE I’m not in the habit of lying to the people I love, so believe me when I tell you that moving on isn’t that simple. I miss my family, Cat. I’ve missed them every single day of my life for the past forty five years, and that loss didn’t get any lesser as time went by. I still have days, even now, when I wake up and think I’m back home, and that this has all been one long dream… It doesn’t get easier, and for that, I’m so, so sorry. But I couldn’t let that grief consume me. Moving on- it’s about coming to terms with what happened, but that can take years- decades to do, and the time in between can be long and lonely and terribly confusing, I know that well - - I think the first part of that process, though, is realizing that your family- the loved ones you’ve lost- they wouldn’t want their loss to take you over like this.

CAT What do you mean?

BURKE It’s easy, isn’t it, to treat a loss like it’s the only important thing in the world anymore? To devote your life to hunting down some definable answer, some reason as to why what happened to you happened, like just knowing will make it all better… But you can’t do that, Cat, trust me, I’ve been down this road myself.  It’s so easy to play the detective, until you get to the end and realize you’re right back where you’ve started.

Cat turns away from the screen, casting her face in shadow. In the darkness, the expression on her face is imperceptible.

BURKE There are people here, too, who love you, who don’t want to see you go down this path. There are people who need you here, even if you don’t realize it yet.

CAT Like who?

Cat flinches. She didn’t mean to say that.

BURKE I do.

CAT What?

BURKE  (distressed) Cat, I’m your grandfather. Of course I love you.

CAT But… I’m not actually your granddaughter- that’s a different timeline, you don’t really…

Cat falls silent. The detective in her head is quickly putting pieces together, and she is not sure how to handle the conclusion she is coming to.

BURKE That doesn’t matter to me, Cat. You’re still my granddaughter. I still love you, of course I do.  And the Watsons love you, and Sosa loves you- I know, I’ve spoken to them- and I can’t speak for the rest of the Spies, but I can’t see a world in which they don’t love you too.

Cat isn’t sure how to respond to this. She fidgets with a lock of her hair.

BURKE Cat, talk to me? I know this has been a lot for one day, how are you feeling right now?

CAT I… I don’t. I’m not sure.

BURKE (soothingly) That’s okay, too. If there’s anything you need right now, tell me? I can start talking about my day again if you’d like.

CAT …I think I need to hang up. I don’t- (She falls silent.)

BURKE Okay. Just- before you go, Cat. Remember that you’ve got people, okay? It’s so easy to feel like it’s just you against the world, but it doesn’t have to be that way. If you need anything, please call me.

CAT …Yeah. Okay.

Cat hangs up, places the cell phone down, and does nothing for a while. When she stands up, it is a slow and arduous process, like peeling adhesive off a wall.  She picks up her helmet and considers it for a long moment, examining her reflection in the tinted visor.

She breathes in, she breathes out. She places the helmet on her head, securing it. Shaking hands begin to still as she composes herself, bit by bit.

Finally, THE DETECTIVE exits stage right, looking back only once as she goes.

[mrs-march-ahs]

Kai Helps You Find a Purpose

Summary- A blue-haired stranger helps you overcome the feeling of being lost after you quit your job. He seems fascinated by the rage in your body and shows you how to use it in an unconventional way.

Warnings- Murder, rape, knifes, blood, Kai Anderson. Words- 1.8k shorty:)

I’ve had this idea in my head for the longest time, so I really appreciate any feedback! I love doing my own ideas but if you prefer when I write requests then I wanna know! Enjoy! :)

---

You slam the glass door behind you as you exit your job. Well, old job. No matter how hard you work, your boss refused to see your potential and when you asked him for a raise for the final time and he said no, you gave him an ultimatum. And now you are left to walk out of your old job to the carpark with a backpack full of your belongings. To be honest, you hated that job anyway, and despised the sexist boss. He crossed a line by underappreciating your hard work, even after hours and constantly giving praise to the other fuckers who could barely make a cup of coffee. You walk over straight to his white Mercedes and pull out your pocketknife, hoping that in the dark of the evening nobody will witness your crime. As you squat down to the level of the front right tire and stab it powerfully with your knife, you can feel the feminist rage in your body deflate. After you do the front left and go towards the back one, you see a figure of a broad man standing at the front of the car, watching you. Although you saw him, his voice catches you off guard. And frankly, pisses you off too.

“If you slash all four tires then insurance will pay for it”, he states, assuming that you didn’t know that already. “Slash three”. The mansplaining makes you groan.

“Do I look like I need advice, asshole?”, you reply, rolling your eyes. Contrary to what you expected, the man stays stood watching you and laughs at your remark. When you push the blade from your knife particularly deep, you sigh in satisfaction, but fail to pull it out. You wriggle it around a little before looking up at the man.

“Are you gonna just watch me or at least are you gonna help?”, you ask, tugging at the knife.

“You don’t need my help”, he says quietly and ominously. “Use your strength, work smarter not harder”. The useless advice made you sigh in anger and push the knife in deeper, before practically ripping it out of the tire. He stands leaned over the hood of the car to watch you slash the tire, and smiles widely when you manage to do it by yourself. You stand up and look at him, and he stays smiling, and compliments you on your work.

“See? You don’t need help, you’re strong”, he whispers at you. You can’t help but smile back at the support and at the relief that he won’t snitch on your vandalism. When you take a step towards the curb to walk home, he puts his arm out to stop you and unexpectedly offers to buy you a coffee. You timidly say yes, but when he walks towards his car and opens the door for you, a red blinking alarm goes off in your mind and you kindly refuse to get in a stranger’s car. Although he laughs, he understands, and the two of you walk a mere 2 streets to a restaurant that he claims is owned by his friends. When the two of you walk through the front door of the packed restaurant and he asks for a table and instantly gets it, you have no reason to not believe his connections. You sit awkwardly across from the stranger who introduces himself to you, before praising you on your inexcusable actions.

“It takes a lot of strength to notice when you’re not being appreciated, it takes even more strength to just slash his tires instead of slashing his fucking throat”. His words are so serious that you don’t question how he knows what happened. “What do you want to achieve?”

“I want to make the world a better place in any way I can… I volunteer at soup kitchens all the time… dog shelters… I know it sounds horrible but no matter what I do, it doesn’t feel satisfying or like I’m achieving anything”. He exhales in amusement and you defensively expand.

“It’s like I’m waiting for some good karma to come to me, but all I feel is guilt because I’m doing good things for the wrong reasons”. You look down and swirl around your coffee with a spoon as you wait for him to judge you. All you felt was guilt, you wanted to be a good person and you knew you shouldn’t wait for good things to happen to you just because you’re volunteering. He puts a finger under your chin and makes you look at him. His big black eyes hypnotize you and you wait anxiously for him to speak.

“You need to put your rage towards something good. Anger doesn’t help anybody, but I saw today that you are capable of rage”, he coaxes you quietly. “A strong rage can be used as unlimited energy and shouldn’t be wasted, but put towards something useful… what fills you with rage?”

“The sexism at my work”, you immediately respond. “None of my male co-workers get harassed on the job. They don’t get told to smile or unbutton their shirts for tips. They get raises that they don’t deserve. As long as that keeps happening, I will always be filled with rage”.

The blue haired man hums in agreement and smiles at you. “That’s a solid source”. He drinks the end of his coffee and offers to drive you home.

When the two of you sit in his car, he proposes that instead of going back to the motel you lived at, you come over to his and the two of you could share a drink.

“No, I’m sorry. I need to go home and scream into my pillow”. Although you laugh after saying that, Kai doesn’t.

“What are you achieving with that? That’s like working hard to get money for gas, just to pour it down the drain”, he scolds you and raises his voice with every word. “You have this rage; we’re going to use it for something good!”, he shouts.

“Yes, but how!”, you reply, and watch Kai take a few turns before driving around the same couple of blocks a few times. You sit silently and hope he’ll explain the plan, but he doesn’t, instead he slowly drives down the streets, carefully inspecting the alleyways. Finally, when a short hum escapes his lips, he pulls his car over and points towards an alleyway on the other side of the street.

“Look what’s happening”.

You narrow your eyes trying to see down the dark alleyway and unbuckle your seatbelt to lean over closer to Kai. A man down the side of a building is stumbling slightly with a gun in his hand, pinning a woman against the wall and forcibly pulling her clothes off, only for her to try to push him away.

“Wait… is he uh-”

“What is your feminism fuelled rage telling you to do?”

You look Kai dead in the eye and his black eyes and clenched jaw silently ask you whether you’re willing to do what it takes. Saying that you want the world to be a better place means jack shit if you’re not ready to singlehandedly protect your sisters and put your rage towards making the world cleaner and safer. Not tomorrow, not in years to come, but now.

Without another second of thought, you jump out of the car and run to the alley, Kai following closely behind. Kai grabs the drunk man by the shoulders and rips him off the wall, allowing you access to push the woman out of the alleyway and onto the street, letting her immediately start running. The drunk attempts to fight Kai, throwing hard punches that all miss. Not wanting to steal your spotlight, Kai throws the man into the wall, letting you take out your feminist rage on his face. You put your hands in his hair and grip tightly, repeatedly smashing his face into the brick wall, leaving instant blood stains and scratches. Hopefully, a lifetime reminder of the scum he is. In order to save him the disgust of having to look at himself in the mirror, you drag his face along the wall, hoping that the cracks in the wall will be enough to leave his face bleeding.

“Work smarter; not harder”, Kai reminds you.

You release the man from your grip and watch him stumble and lean against the wall for support, giving you enough time to take your pocketknife back out and plunge in straight into the mans crotch. As he sloppily yells in pain, Kai grabs the gun out of his hand and throws it over a fence, just in case he gets any ideas. The intoxicating high of seeing this rapist bleed and cry in pain gives you one last kick of confidence, which you use to twist the knife in his ball sack before ripping it out. Kai stands watching you, smirking and almost hard, listening to the beaten-up motherfucker pant and sob. Kai pushes you out of the way and shoves him to the ground one last time, before grabbing your hand and legging it to the car.

When you sink to the car seat, trying to catch your breath, not a single thought coming to your mind for the first few seconds. The adrenaline of assault makes your heart want to jump out of your chest. But when you look over at Kai, expecting him to mirror you, he sits calmly, waiting for you to calm down. Your head is blurred with disbelief at what you just did, but despite knowing in your mind that violence isn’t the answer, you sit there as Kai starts driving and wait for the guilt to overpower your body. But it just…doesn’t.

“I’m so proud of you”, Kai says and puts his hand on your thigh giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I’m waiting for the guilt to kick in”

“It won’t”, Kai informs you. “You don’t care about the homeless or animals”

“What?! Of course, I do-”

“No, you don’t. You care about sexism. That’s what powers you. How many statistics do you know about rape? How much do you know about rape prevention? Feminism? Malala and Michelle fucking Obama?!”, he yells.

“That’s what fills you with rage, and that’s what begins the unlimited cycle”. Although his words sounded so sure and factual, you just couldn’t accept it.

“I don’t want to do it with violence”. Your voice weakens which makes Kai huff in amusement. He parks his car outside your motel and turns to you.

“You just made the world a better place. You saved that woman. That scum will never be able to reproduce. If you weren’t doing the right thing, you’d feel guilty”. You look up at him with worried eyebrows and he gives you a warm reassuring smile. You can’t deny his words, and the adrenaline and sense of accomplishment overshadow any speck of guilt you’re meant to feel. Just as you’re about to open the car door to get out, he puts his hand on your shoulder and looks at you once more.

“I’ll come by and get you tomorrow, I want you to meet my friends”

[katsidhe]

Security Announcement! We interrupt our regularly scheduled Sam’n’Lucifer hours to bring you, gasp!! Lucifer’n’Dean hours!

The main source of weird fascination here is that Dean and Lucifer do not know each other, pretty much at all. They are the two most significant relationships in Sam’s life, by FAR—and yet they’ve barely met. The most, and honestly only, significant conversation that Lucifer’s ever had with Dean is wayyyy back in 5.04, and even this exchange is heavily blunted by the unreliability of whatever dream/pocket universe technology Zachariah’s using. (In fact, I’d say it’s up for interpretation as to whether 5.04!Lucifer is meaningfully Lucifer or not, but that’s another tangent.) So the default dynamic of Dean and Lucifer is unthinking, unexamined hostility. But let’s dig deeper!!

Even in s5, which is notably Lucifer’s diplomatic era, Lucifer’s feelings towards Dean are best characterized as flat murderous resentment, and at best, annoyance. Obviously Lucifer knows Dean is Michael’s vessel. But that’s not really ever where his resentment is coming from: Lucifer tries to beat Dean to death in 5.22 because he’s furious about Dean’s loyalty to Sam, a loyalty Michael hasn’t shown him.

Lucifer obtains an all-access pass to Sam’s memories and feelings about Dean, and I’m sure it becomes a heavily trod topic of discussion. Significantly, Dean is forced to become a point of contrast: on the one hand Sam has Lucifer (who has Michael, who is not Dean), and on the other he has Dean. On the one hand Lucifer has Michael (who is not Dean), and on the other he has Sam (who has Dean). Obviously, Dean becomes rather mythologized in this particular paradigm; this is something neither Sam nor Lucifer is unaware of, but it’s not something as easy to discard as it is to spot. For Sam, because it’s a sanity thing, and for Lucifer, because, look, it’s a true fact that the power of Sam’s brutal mythologizing is precisely what brought Lucifer to ruin. So Dean is a figure larger than life to both of them—the brother for whom Sam willingly threw both himself and Lucifer into Hell, an act Lucifer admires and envies and loathes. There’s an interesting scene in 14.17 where Nick points this out: the odd, odd connection between them. Lucifer knows nearly everything there is to know about Dean, but it’s all exclusively through Sam’s lens; it’s through Sam’s lens that Lucifer hates Dean with murderous intensity.

Now let’s talk Dean’s hatred. The interesting thing about Dean’s hatred of Lucifer is that it’s not nearly as murderous or all-consuming as you’d think it might be, given Lucifer’s role in Sam’s life. For his own part, Dean hates Lucifer in s5 mainly because he’s The Evil Devil Apocalypse Man etc etc. He doesn’t have a particular brand of vitriol reserved for Lucifer that he wouldn’t spit at any sufficiently leveled-up Bad Guy (tm). And he doesn’t act as if his hatred of Lucifer is specifically about Sam yet, which is kinda interesting! Rather, Dean’s own resentment of Sam in early s5, and his perspective on Sam’s complicity with the same forces of evil that Lucifer represents, is a complicating factor. In order to truly hate on Sam’s behalf, Dean has to drum up a fervor of protectiveness, and that’s what he can’t manage to channel until 5.22.

But even this hatred is limited. In 5.22 and 13.23, I wouldn’t say Dean is driven by the kind of hatred for his brother’s possessor/torturer that Sam shows in 4.16. Contrast Sam’s vicious, passionate vengeance against Alastair in 4.16 with Dean’s blank, stubborn need to simply be there for Sam in 11.10 and 5.22 and 13.23. Hell, in 13.20, Dean’s the one advising Sam to back off a nascent plan for revenge against Lucifer—even though Sam hasn’t made a plan, or really even implied one. In 13.22, I wonder how much Dean’s clear anger is being blunted by the miracle of Sam’s resurrection, which Lucifer so thoughtfully provided.

If the first kind of hatred Dean can muster is about protectiveness, then the second—and strongest—is about betrayal. Dean has got a metric ton of issues and anger centered around Sam’s sojourn in the Cage, but almost none of this anger winds up directed at Lucifer—in fact, it pretty much all ends up aimed at either Sam, for being soulless, or at Cas, for breaking the Wall. Part of this is simply a question of immediacy and who’s around for Dean to yell at, of course, but it goes deeper than that. Lucifer never betrayed Dean. Dean never expected Lucifer to be a friend or ally or to treat Sam kindly. Lucifer is a storm of Evil Incarnate to be weathered, killed, or escaped, with all the moral agency of any other kind of natural disaster. In 7.17, on the topic of Sam’s rapidly degenerating mental health, Dean furiously informs an amnesiac Cas that “someone did this to him”—referring not to Lucifer, the guy who actually did the damage, but instead to Cas. Sam’s Hell, to Dean, is “Sam’s Hell”: a process and a grindstone and a huge inevitable machine, rather than two (four) guys locked in a room and the choices made therein.

Concluding sentiment: Dean and Lucifer should be locked in a room together because I think they could find some fun things to say to one another. Especially on the topic of their mutual obsession, their very good friend Sam.

[serendipityjxmn]

Mr. President

Chapter 16

TW: Rape attempt

Words Count: 1.6k

Link to Masterlist

Link to Chapter 17

You wake up feeling thirsty that night. Jimin isn’t in bed, as he’d been the past few days. You briefly wonder if he’s sleeping in some other room. You don’t glance at the clock but figured that it’s around 2 or 3AM.

You reach the teapot on your bedside to pour some water into a glass but none of it comes out. You’ve forgotten to refill it before you head to sleep. Too sleepy to curse at yourself, you stand up albeit groggily.

You make your way downstairs and only after gulping down two glasses of water do you feel sated of your thirst.

You’re about to head back upstairs when you heard some noise. You freeze in your steps, unsure of the source. Did someone break into your house? Though you don’t think the securities in this house is that amateur.

Taking another step, you hear the noise again and it takes you a moment to realize it’s your husband’s voice. Unknowingly, you walk towards the source of the noise and your husband’s voice that leads you to the house backyard.

Your husband is shouting at someone. There’s probably about 8 or 9 people including your husband, you couldn’t be sure. Someone is brought to kneel in front of him.

“Why the fuck would you bring him here?” He hisses.

“Sorry sir- I thought-“

“I don’t give a fuck about what you thought- my wife’s here-“ he runs a hand through his hair, speaking in harsh hushed tone. “Fuck it, just do it quick, give me the silencer-“

Someone thrusts a gun into your husband’s hand.

He cocks the gun and-

A piercing scream breaks out and suddenly everyone turns towards you. You realize the sound comes out from you. You’re screaming hysterically, eyes wide as soon as you see the man that was kneeling in front of your husband few seconds ago is now lying on the floor, no longer breathing.

Hands clasping your mouth, you swing around and starts running, too shell shocked to even cry.

You’re freaked out, you don’t even know your destination until you see the room at the end of hallway, the small room that had been your safe space and without thinking, you run towards it.

As soon as you lock the door, you find yourself sinking to the floor. Your body trembles and you feel hard to breath and then you start crying. You cry and simply cry for hours until your body’s too exhausted to cry anymore. You’re still trembling, lips pale from the traumatic scene that you just witnessed.

Jimin did come, knocking on the door and frantically shouts your name. But eventually he stopped. And you fall asleep, body still shivering.

When you finally find the strength to stand the next morning, Jimin has already gone out. He didn’t come home again that night.

You know your husband is a dangerous man. You’d seen it firsthand when he beats your brother half dead when you first saw him, and he’s never failed to remind you how dangerous he is.

From his cold demeanor, his reflex when someone is too close to him, how his footsteps are so silent, how he expertly handles the gun like he’s been doing it all his life, you know Jimin’s way more dangerous than he lets on to you.

He’d done a perfect job in hiding that dark part of his life, you’d give that to him.

And now that you know, you guess Jimin assumes it’s more dangerous as he levels up the security for you. Taeseok had kindly introduces you to them all, which by the way are four of them including Taeseok himself and informs you that you’re not allowed out unless there’s security with you. This is all by Jimin’s orders which he tells through Taeseok since he doesn’t come home for days now.

For someone who thinks you’re nothing, he sure is taking your security too seriously.

You’re angry with him. You really are. But when he doesn’t come home for the next whole week, you end up pacing back and forth in the foyer.

From prying and constantly pestering your poor new bodyguard, you’ve finally confirmed your suspicion that Jimin’s in a mafia gang. But that doesn’t surprise you. It is the fact that Jimin is actually the head of the mafia gang called BTS, and is the most notorious and influential as they hold most of the areas in Seoul. You couldn’t even bring yourself to ask the specifics of his underground business. Having a thug brother, you perfectly know well that there would be drugs and gamblings involved, or women.

You should be worried about that fact. The fact that your husband is a mafia leader. Your level of worry each night he doesn’t come home has increased on a significant level. You don’t really know if he’s gonna come home in one piece.

You find yourself staring blankly around the house because it feels even more empty than usual. There’s a strange hollow that follows it. And that’s how you find yourself sleeping again on the bed that the two of you share in the master bedroom. With his shirt.

You’ve always loved his smell. His vanilla scent that smells soft to your nose yet manly at the same time, his smell. So you pick one of his white shirt and sleeps hugging it.

The fact that you found out your husband’s a killer.. and yet you’re still worried about him.. what level of twisted is this?

It’s about at 3AM, you think, that you heard a sound, waking you up from slumber and you’re immediately aware of every sense, eyes shot open.

“Fuck-“ it’s Jimin’s voice that makes you sit up immediately. You can barely see him in the dark of the room with very little light illuminating.

“Y/N?”

You fumble to switch the bedside lamp on and scramble to your feet immediately and approaches him in the speed of light.

“Sorry didn’t mean to wake you-“

You’re about to throw your hands around him, to just hug him tight but stops short when you take in his disheveled appearance. He’s in his white shirt, his blazer and tie already discarded. But something feels wrong.

You reach out and almost jerks away when you feel a wet patch on his shirt. It takes you a few moments to realize it’s blood. The thick smell of copper filling your noise instantly.

Your eyes widen and you gasp aloud, “Oh God Jimin, are you okay? What’s this?” You ask frantically.

“I’m fine-“

“No Jimin, let me see-“ your hands are trembling, flashes of images of him killing the person few nights ago that still traumatises you filling your mind, you frantically unbutton his shirt, desperate to check if he’s okay and he just lets you.

Your hands are everywhere on the expanse of his chest and his chiseled abs and then you realize he’s perfectly fine and it isn’t his blood. Your whole body visibly relaxes and you let out a relieved sigh.

And then it suddenly dawns to you that you just unbuttoned him all the way down and now he’s half naked.

You fumble to take a step back but he catches your wrist immediately, startling you.

“What’s wrong, kitten?”

Kit.. kitten? “N- nothing.”

He juts his jaw towards the bed. “What’s my shirt doing on the bed?”

Your whole body goes rigid. You don’t even know how to explain everything.

“Did you miss me..?” He whispers, voice close to your ear making you shudder.

You stand frozen in his grip, shaking your head slowly. He only stares at you as you look down.

Thankfully, he releases you, perhaps taking pity after your shock. “I’m gonna shower.” He says then just leaves for the bathroom.

Flushing red, you sprint towards the bed to fetch his shirt back and chuck it into his drawer. You climb back onto bed, heart still beating fast. Where had he been? You were wondering if he would even tell you if you ask or if that’s stepping over the line or boundaries.

You’re lost in your own thought, eyes about to flutter shut when suddenly you feel a hand firmly placed on your waist.

Your hearbeat picks up again.

You turn around, lying on your back now to see Jimin, hovering above you and hands now all over you. Your stomach, your chest, your breasts-

You start to panic. “J-Jimin what are y-you doing?”

His hands are quick to hold your wrist firmly when you start to squirm, trying to escape. He leans down, lips dangerously close to your face.

“You are mine. To kiss anywhere I want.. To touch wherever I want.. and to kill.. whenever I want. Do not forget that.”

His left hand remains on your wrist, gripping it tight above your head while his other hand goes to the strap of your nightgown. You swallow thickly when he slides them down your arm. His hand brushes your half exposed breast very slightly and your entire body go still in shock.

You feel his tongue nipping at your neck as his fingers move daintily from your jaw to your neck, your shoulder and then your breast.

He moves and you gasp when you feel his hardened crotch against you and you’ve never felt so terrified.

You like him. No, you love your husband.

And what you would give for him to touch you intimately.

But you don’t want to give it to him like this, in this state. No emotions, no feelings, no love.

His head dips down to kiss you but you’re quicker to turn your head and avoids him.

“Jimin stop!” You yell.

And all his actions ceased.

Hot tears roll all over your cheeks. Clutching onto your tattered nightgown, trying hard to prevent the silk material from further slipping, you get up from the bed and leaves the room.

Link to Chapter 17

Posted on 210517 9:00PM

[joezworld]

📁

Specifically, any headcanons of the Sodor Engines interacting with the internet, or the internet in general?

For some reason, I’d imagine that podcasts and the like are popular among vehicles in general.

That is a question that I've been working on for some time - because I'm workshopping my own Tornado headcanon (and boy oh boy does she use the internet a lot) - but I have some ideas for the Sodor engines as well: 

Henry is probably the most "plugged in" engine on the island, weirdly enough. One of his drivers gave him an iPod back in the early 2000s, and kindly preloaded it with a bunch of torrented music.

 BTW, that works because all the engines are now equipped with automatic train warning systems, and the little on-board computer has a USB port - as a nice side effect it allows music players to work with the engines in the same way as bone-conducting headphones do. The computer also acts as some kind of computer interface, which I am not going to explain how that works because Jesus Christ I don’t know how it does either.  

 Henry has managed to upgrade his iPod a few times since thanks to hand-me-down units from NWR staff, so he eventually got his buffers on a wifi-enabled iPod Touch and now downloads new music from the station wifi. He does listen to podcasts, but as every other engine will tell you, you could show Henry ten thousand new and exciting songs from the best artists in the world, and his top ten played songs are still going to be Genesis, Phil Collins, and Yes. Bear considers it a win that he managed to convince Henry to regularly listen to Rush after a mere twenty years of convincing. 

 Mavis and Daisy listen to a very interesting program called The News, because as stated elsewhere, they invest a shitload of money and need to be on top of things. Thomas and Percy wish that Daisy would use headphones or something similar to that, instead of listening to Bloomberg TV at loud volumes in the middle of the night. Toby frankly doesn’t mind, as it’s very nice to be kept up-to-date on the outside world.  

In a move that surprises no-one, Bill and Ben have a podcast where they talk about whatever they think about at that moment - usually horse-racing, investing, and clay mining. As such, they have a wide audience, almost none of whom know that they’re that Bill and Ben, as their podcast is audio-only.  

 In an also unsurprising move, Edward and BoCo have been made very much aware that Bill and Ben have a podcast, but are still unsure as to what the hell a podcast is, despite being frequent guests on it.  

Of the main line diesels, only Bear has shown any real interest in the internet, and was immediately put in charge of the Amazon Alexa when a unit was installed in the diesel shed. He also has an iPod that he got for Christmas a few years back. (The NWR has a very good personal  electronics recycling program called give it to Henry, he’ll make use it.)  

Bear does listen to podcasts as well as music, but his choices are so insufferably boring that even Henry refuses to listen to them. (I don’t really listen to podcasts - despite making one - so insert the most boring podcast you can think of here.) 

 As for other internet uses... 

Gordon is very up-to-date on the newest social media trends - somehow - but only really cares when he is involved. He won’t admit it, but he’s been trying to figure out how to work a camera/selfie stick for some time so he can start up his own Instagram account. So far he has been unsuccessful, but one day he will manage it. 

 James has had an ongoing feud with his own Wikipedia page for about a decade now. The article sourced most of its information about his construction off of some out-of-print book about the L&Y. The book in question is accurate about James’ class, but not James himself - as he was a prototype engine. There’s no other primary sources available, so the very dedicated Wikipedia mod who created the page won’t change it - no matter how much James complains that he was there! He knows what happened! 

Every now and again a TTTE fan blog/tumblr will make a post about hypothetical “ships” of the Sodor engines. Most of the time it’s shipping the core characters like Gordon and Henry, much to Gordon’s bafflement and Henry’s amusement! 

Only one blog (a ttte fan tumblr by the curious name of @mean-scarlet-deceiver  ) has gotten it right. Henry actually reached out to congratulate this blogger, but was unfortunately mistaken for a very dedicated roleplay account.  

James is very annoyed by these blogs, as they have never once correctly guessed who he is “shipped” with! He has tried several times to be seen in public with Delta, but these events have never gone as planned - the “best” instance is when Edward rolled by at exactly the wrong moment, leading to months of speculation that JamesxEdward was the ship to look out for! 

Thomas, being a generally oblivious sort of engine, was totally unaware of the online fan community around the TV show until he started getting actively harassed by vloggers and Instagrammers in the early 2010s. He’s fine with it now, but it was a deeply unusual experience for most of 2012.  

Toby has developed an unexpectedly popular following on social media following his collab with Stormzy. His official twitter is huge now, with over a million followers, even if he has no idea what to do with it. He posts rarely, but usually manages to make an incredible post when he does.

No-one is sure who told Oliver what a “fan-production” is, but if you manage to get ahold of him for any period of time and ask him nicely, he will lend his voice to your TTTE fan-project, so long as it isn’t about [INSERT TERRIBLE SOCIAL/POLITICAL VIEW(S) HERE]. This means that he has 100% voiced dramatic readings of NSFW Fanfics before, which is always an absolute riot to spring on people unannounced.

There is a series of slice-of-life TTTE fanfics on Ao3 that have been written with such accuracy and innate railway knowledge that people are sure it was written by a Sodor engine, but nobody knows which one.

The Culdee Fell Railway has very active Instagram, Twitter and YouTube accounts, with all of the engines and coaches showing up regularly. It’s about the closest any of the railways on Sodor have come to what those outside the UK would call “normal locomotive social media”.

The Skarloey Railway has social media accounts too, but they don’t really feature the engines in any meaningful way, instead being used as a normal service announcements page.  

 The SR is a real working railway that doesn’t rely on tourism money as much as the others do, so they get a bit of a pass here.  

 The Arlesdale Railway has Twitter and YouTube, which didn’t usually get a lot of hits until 2020, when Ivan and Amanda Farrier started badgering the staff to make some videos just to alleviate some boredom. So far the most popular videos on the channel are a front-mounted camera video of the entire line slow-tv style, Bert explaining how steam engines work, and a video of Mike complaining about Justin Bieber for a solid half-hour.  

 That’s about it as far as Sodor goes, but before we’re done, I want to take a moment to talk about Tornado, because I have some fun ideas for her... 

First of all, we need to establish that Tornado is very young. Her construction only started in late 90′s, and she was steamed to life in 2000, putting her firmly into the “Zoomer” category. Add in the fact that she was built by a bunch of old men who didn’t really know how to treat a new engine, and she was raised much more like a human than a locomotive - I’ll get to this much more in the proper Tornado Headcanon post, but what this means here is that when social media started being a thing in the mid-to-late 2000′s, the people at the A1 Trust decided that they needed a young person to run things like Twitter, Facebook, and Myspace... and, well, Tornado was the youngest person in the trust by a large margin.

I should state here that in the rest of the world, locomotives are on the internet at roughly the same level as humans are, so there’s plenty of equipment to connect a phone/computer/camera to an engine - being English, the A1 Trust didn’t know how common it was, but they managed to get it up and running just the same.

 So Tornado has very quickly become attuned to the internet, just like any other teenager would. (yes, let’s let that settle into our minds for a moment - Tornado is barely old enough to drink in the US!) Quite naturally that means that she knows social media inside and out, and is actually quite a proficient social media manager for the trust, managing all of their social pages. More than one person who has complained about the trust on twitter has unknowingly been complaining to Tornado herself! 

 “On the internet, nobody knows that you’re a dog Engine”. 

 Tornado has her own personal social media accounts too, but most/all of the time she gets mistaken for a very dedicated role-player, as the general perception of British Locomotives is that they don’t tweet. This has resulted in some amazing reactions from podcast hosts (because, as you might expect, Tornado is very knowledgeable about steam traction in the 21st century, and tweets about it often, so train podcasts want to talk to her) when she gets invited onto video calls, turns on her webcam, and is met with screams from people who suddenly realize that her profile picture is accurate.  

 By far the best instance of this is when she was invited onto a video call with a railfan podcast. She was at the NRM at the time and managed to convince them to let her use their Skype setup. A wide-angle lens was needed because she was on the turntable in the Great Hall, so that podcast quickly got sidetracked when her webcam was turned on and revealed Tornado, with Mallard, Evening Star, City of Truro, and Green Arrow visible behind her. Whatever the original topic was quickly got thrown out in favor of a 2-hour Q&A with some of the most famous engines in the UK. 

[doctorofmagic]

Stephen’s indelible sin

For those who follow me for a while, you’re probably aware that I speak of guilt and self-loathing A LOT when it comes to Stephen. Once I wrote about his most terrible sin, but since then, I’ve gathered MORE information concerning Stephen and Hulk’s relationship. And, on a personal level, I think both fans and writers should explore this bond more, given their history.

Today, I’ll bring a detailed review on Stephen’s mistake and how it escalated into a pain that will never cease to exist within his heart and soul.

Warning: get your handkerchiefs ready, this is about to become sad quite rapidly.

We’ll begin our journey of angst in 1967, as seen in Strange Tales #156-157. In order to prevent Umar from walking on Earth, the Ancient One advises Stephen to release an evil and powerful demon called Zom. The demon is able to defeat Umar, but his strength is overwhelming, enough to give the Ancient One a hard time. Zom’s power is so evil and cursed that releasing him is a deed that catches the Living Tribunal’s (undue) attention. The Living Tribunal is so offended he wants to destroy Earth. And guess what? He blames Stephen, even though he was a mere apprentice imbued with blind obedience at that time.

The Living Tribunal imprisons Zom again, while Stephen convinces the deity that Earth deserves another chance. Stephen basically saves the planet, as usual, while Zom remains dormant for literally decades.

We’ll skip now to a not-so-canon event called “the birth of the Illuminati”, or “how Stephen ruined his life for good out of arrogance and toxic masculinity”. It’s uncertain when they first gathered to boss around the planet, but according to History Of The Marvel Universe #3 (2019) and New Avengers: Illuminati #1 (2007), they made this decision after the Kree/Skrull War, creating a secret council to answer for all humanity, even though humanity itself wasn’t aware of those dubious representatives. The Kree/Skrull war dates back to 1971, which means they spent decades plotting their hidden agendas.

Still, they’re heroes, right? They wouldn’t harm people, would they? They wouldn’t harm their friends or make mistakes. They’re supposed to be the smartest, most powerful people on Earth. Oh. Let me tell you something. Their very first mission was the reason why we had Civil War and Secret Invasion. Yes. It’s their fault that the Skrulls invaded Earth. And yes, Stephen is to blame because he was there with the group when they first threatned the Skrulls never to come back, or else they’d face them. Hah.

However, this is not his indelible sin. As you all know, what I consider an irreparable mistake was sending Hulk to Sakaar. And what’s even worse? It wasn’t the first time that Stephen tried to banish Hulk, as seen in The Incredible Hulk v1 #305 (1985).

But why is Stephen so haunted by banishing a menace? Because Hulk was, foremost, a dearest friend.

From Defenders v1 #12 (1973)

When it comes to Hulk’s friendships, people always think of Rick Jones, Amadeus Cho, even his cousin Jennifer Walters. But few people remember that Stephen and Valkyrie were two of the first heroes to treat Hulk kindly and with respect, even though Hulk always called Stephen names (the most iconic, “dumb magician”, which is a personal favorite of mine).

Stephen has always treated Hulk as an equal, as someone who is so much more than a mindless brute. So it’s really strange for me to read that, at some point, Stephen tried to banish him twice.

Sadly, it happened. The first was not as iconic as the second, though. So I’m focusing on the latter. Remember the Illuminati? The group thought they had the right to decide Hulk’s fate after he went berserk and destroyed Las Vegas. And Stephen agreed to it. Namor, who was also a member of the Defenders along with Stephen and Hulk, was the only one who refused, as seen in New Avengers: Illuminati One-Shot (2006). The three of them were the original members. Stephen should’ve known better. So why would he agree to this?

Because, again, the Illuminati are a very dubious group whose foundations are based on toxic masculinity. Powerful, egoic men left unchecked. And Stephen, as Earth’s most powerful sorcerer, couldn’t resist the call. The Ancient One was dead. The mantle of the Sorcerer Supreme was his. Clea left him years later - and he never told her about his dirty little secret, something that is subtly confirmed somewhere between New Avengers: Illuminati #4 (2007) and Avengers v4 #9 (2011).

Thus, it seems that Stephen, at some point, decided that he was better than everyone around him, a trait that was supposed to be buried in the past along with his arrogant neurosurgeon self. The kind man who has always praised his allies was now gone.

Except... World War Hulk happened. Long story short, Hulk ended up in Sakaar and found a new life after defeating his captor. He married and became king, and he was happy (you can get a very shady glimpse of this story in MCU’s Thor: Ragnarok, but that version is quite family friendly. World War Hulk is far worse). But then, the ship which the Illuminati created to send him into space exploded, killing his wife in the process. Spoiler: it wasn’t the Illuminati. It was Miek, who framed the Illuminati so Hulk would call revenge upon them. Enraged as never seen before, Hulk was truly decided to kill Reed, Tony, Black Bolt and... yes, Stephen.

At first, Stephen tried to reason with him. But Hulk’s hatred was beyond words. Stephen had all his fingers broken, ouch. Imagine his pain, assuming his hands were once injured in the car accident and still hurt from the damage and all the surgeries he has been through...

Now, as you know, Stephen is stubborn as hell. Remember the demon Zom? When everything else failed to stop the Hulk, Stephen finally corrupted his soul and let the demon possess him. Obviously, he lost control and almost harmed innocent people, which was enough for him to be distracted long enough for Hulk to finish him off.

In the end, Hulk discovered the truth behind the explosion and, after a rage outburst, transformed back to Banner. Stephen almost died that day by the hands of his friend. But he didn’t. All that was left from that sad event was guilt. Endless, heavy guilt.

One could arguee that Stephen is out of character. And I would’ve agreed with you, except... Nor time nor actions were good enough to heal Stephen’s heart. It never went away. Never.

The reason why he forfeited the mantle of the Sorcerer Supreme? Because he used Zom’s dark magic and hurt Bruce deeply. And that affected him on so many levels that he didn’t find himself worthy anymore.

From New Avengers v1 Annual #2 (2008).

It didn’t stop there. He tried time and time again. He was never able to find the proper words to apologize because he knows words will never heal the pain he inflicted on his friend.

These thoughts are Stephen’s. “Two words I’ll repeat for the rest of my days. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” (From Incredible Hulks #618)

And poor Stephen even goes and tries to compensate his lack of expertise when it comes to interpersonal relationships, projecting his relationship with Hulk into, well, another Hulk. He’s so afraid of making the same mistakes he doesn’t even know where the line is drawn.

From Weapon H #2 (2018).

As I said, it will never go away. And Stephen knows it.

From Defenders v4 #1 (2011).

The point is, people make mistakes. And sometimes these mistakes are just too painful to be erased. Stephen strongly believes he’ll never be forgiven, which is quite sad because this sin will always be a source of guilt for him. Whether or not Hulk forgives Stephen in the future, it will always remain a burden.

Personally, I believe that blaming himself for what happened to Hulk is even worse than blaming himself for Clea’s departure. Because, see, Clea has forgiven Stephen over the years. They still love each other and, once you ignore Fearless Defenders, there’s no sin. They both agreed to take separate ways, even though their love still existed.

But Hulk? It’s a story about betrayal between friends. It’s quite cruel and sad for both sides. I can only hope that, someday, a writer will make it up for them. They deserve another chance. And, as unreliable as I am, all I want to see is a happy Stephen.

[hopelesshawks]

History of Us Part 35- The Storm

Summary: Once upon a time Todoroki and (y/n) were best friends. Now they haven’t spoken in years. When (y/n) is forced to transfer to UA, will she and Shoto reconnect or will their troubled past keep them apart? A childhood friends to enemies to lovers hybrid fic.

If you don’t want to see History of Us content blacklist #hopelesshou

Masterlist Kofi

The plan, both that of the reunion squad and that of the pro heroes, goes to shit almost immediately. Your father is a smart man and the compound reflects that. Almost immediately upon breaching the entrance, the pros realized that the information they had on the building’s floor plan was incorrect. They were also wrong about the compound solely being occupied by you, Dabi, and your father. Several lower level villains have been kept on retainer precisely in case of a situation like this. Not only had Shoto and the others not been able to sneak past the pros to try and find you but the pros had actively requested their help as things rapidly devolved.

Then your father finally made his appearance in dramatic fashion, and that’s when things really went downhill. Literally half the compound was blown sky high as your father released a massive flurry of shadows racing out to push back the heroes. Several of the pros on scene are immediately knocked out of commission, leaving the smaller villains to run into the city and cause trouble. Tamaki is one of the first to recover, quickly organizing some of the remaining heroes and sidekicks into squads to track down the villains now racing towards the more densely populated commercial area nearby. “I’m trusting you to handle Black Storm,” he tells Endeavor. The older man only gives him a nod before Tamaki is off to try and minimize the damage being done.

Shoto starts to worry as he realizes he still hasn’t seen you but before he can begin searching properly a familiar voice stops him in his tracks. “There you are little brother, I was worried you might not show,” Touya grins. Shoto’s eyes narrow at his brother, his quirk itching to be released as he stares him down. “Where’s (y/n)?” Shoto all but growls. “You sure she even wants you to find her?” Dabi teases, his amusement at the situation palpable. “Absolutely,” Shoto replies without even a hint of hesitation or doubt. “Tell you what, prove you really are dad’s perfect little experiment and beat me. If you can do that much I’ll lead you right to her. I’d hurry if I were you too, her daddy dearest didn’t take too kindly to finding heroes at our door and poor (y/n) is his favorite punching bag,” Dabi grins. “With pleasure,” Shoto growls before lunging forward.

This is a disaster. You’ve managed to only bump into one sidekick who’d made it deeper into the remains of the compound but even that small fight had been enough to aggravate your injuries. Your vision swims as you rush towards the sound of the fighting. You know your dad’s been using quirk enhancing drugs lately and the pros aren’t prepared for that kind of firepower. You want nothing more than to just sit down, close your eyes, and try to heal yourself, maybe even take a nap, but there’s no time. You’re the only one who can stop your dad now. You know it in your gut. So you push through the pain and the slight dizziness to keep moving. You’re nearly knocked off your feet as a series of explosions shakes the compound, followed by an all too familiar battle cry of “DIE!” Fear surges through your veins like ice. You’d recognize Bakugo’s voice anywhere and even if you couldn’t there’s not exactly a ton of explosive heroes who threaten to murder villains out there. Bakugo would never come alone, which means more of your friends are surely in the fray and in danger. You grit your teeth, focusing on them and your determination to save them, and start running towards the commotion glowing only faintly but enough to hold you together.

Shoto has never fought this hard his entire life. He lands hard on his side but quickly rolls to recover and get back on his feet. He throws up a wall of ice, partly to slow Dabi’s progress as he comes surging towards him, but partially to stave off the after effects from using his left side so much. Sweat pours off his forehead as he desperately tries to hold off from overheating. As Dabi burns through his ice, Shoto launches himself forward to meet his brother halfway. He’ll be damned if he loses this fight. He has to get to you, especially if what Dabi said about your condition is the truth. For a single moment Shoto manages to pin Touya down but before he can do anything more he notices Dabi’s gaze is focused not on him but something off to the side. “Your girlfriend finally joined the fray,” Dabi grins, causing Shoto to immediately snap his head that direction to find you. Relief floods him at seeing you alive but he’s snapped back into the moment as Dabi suddenly engulfs the two of them in flames, causing Shoto to rear back with a curse. “Don’t get distracted baby brother, this fight isn’t over,” Dabi taunts as he uses Shoto’s momentary distraction to get the upper hand. Fire and ice both emerge as Shoto is filled with another wave of determination. He’s so close to getting you back, he won’t let you slip through his fingers again.

The chaos is even worse than you thought when you finally get to where all the fighting is. All around you your friends and various pros are battling villains. Buildings further down the street are burning where Tamaki is trying to keep the villains contained to a smaller area. To your right Shoto is locked in combat with Dabi and frankly it takes your breath away. Shoto is magnificent. You’ve never seen him look so resolute before and you distantly wonder if that’s the real reason Dabi exposed your location: to see this side of his younger brother. You probably could have stood there just watching the two of them forever but a loud crashing noise to your left jerks your attention away as you watch Endeavor hit the ground hard after your father had thrown him. Your stomach sinks when you notice what rough shape he’s in. You knew this would happen the moment you found out your father was using quirk enhancers but it’s still unnerving to see the number one hero struggle so much. You look up to see your father grinning like a mad man, clearly delighting in the pain of a man he once claimed to love like family. More importantly, however, you also can see the characteristic black veins crawling up the side of his neck. Steroids or not, your quirk still comes with a price. Your father is just about to deal what looks suspiciously like a fatal blow as he gathers a large mass of shadows into both hands but before they can reach Endeavor you jump in front of the fallen hero and unleash your own blast of shadows to dissipate your father’s.

You think you hear Endeavor say something behind you but the words fall on deaf ears as you watch your father’s face twist into a grimace of betrayal and rage. “I should’ve known you’d choose them,” he spits before unleashing another torrent of inky blackness shooting towards you. You widen your stance to brace yourself and then unleash your own torrent back with your right hand, using your free hand to brace it. “After all I did for you, this is how you repay me? You traitorous bitch,” he accuses, his voice roaring over the sounds of battle around you. Rage burns through you at his words and you embrace it wholeheartedly as you continue to push back against him. “All you did was abuse and traumatize me,” you bite out. Your head is throbbing but you can’t let up, not now, not when you’re so close to ridding yourself of your father for good. “I did it to make you stronger! You could’ve been the most powerful person in all of Japan, we could’ve built an empire together!” he responds, as if somehow that justifies how he’s treated you; as if that empire wouldn’t be built atop the corpses of innocents. “I am strong. Stronger than you. In spite of you, not because of you,” you shout.

After that final declaration, you’re done talking. Instead you close your eyes, grit your teeth, and you think of every single time your father abused you, every time you lashed out at those you loved because of the trauma he ingrained in you, every time you suffered because of his crimes. You think of your poor mother who works double and triple shifts so she can provide for you. You think of that fateful day your father brought you into work and traumatized you out of his own selfish desire to mold you into what he wanted you to be. You think of all of the pain and hurt and anger and you pour it into your quirk even as black veins start to crawl up on your own skin, even as they climb up your forearm, then your shoulder, then your neck, and onto the right side of your face. Your entire right side feels like it’s on fire but you push and push through until you finally start to feel the resistance from your father giving way as his quirk overwhelms him. You hear yelling and it takes a minute to realize that the raw, pained sound is coming from you as you push and push and push until finally you feel the resistance fade completely and the shadows you’d sent out connect with your father. You gasp as you finally release your quirk although you notice the right side of your body is still on fire. Your head feels fuzzy and your vision is definitely swimming but you push through it. You have to make sure it’s over. Your father sways on his feet, eyes empty and black veins completely marring his face. After a moment his body collapses to the ground completely limp and relief floods through you.

It’s over.

It’s finally fucking over.

As the adrenaline slowly starts to drain out of you, you hear someone call out your name. They sound panicked. Why do they sound panicked? You turn to the source of the voice slowly as the world starts to spin around you. You vaguely recognize Shoto’s alarmed face as he sprints towards you before everything goes black and you collapse.

A/N: This took me literally all of yesterday to write and was difficult to start but holy shit am I happy with how it turned out. We’re entering the home stretch ladies and gentlemen.

Taglist: @sorrythatspussynal @miss-bakugo-writes @pixelwisp @larkspyrr @sokkaandzukosimp @akkaso @sunaispretty @shot0stea @todoplusultra @oliviasslut @lapysllazuly @immah0e4fictionalmen @cinnamonruts

(Bold means I couldn’t tag you)

[katacombzimmerman]

Misunderstandings

... is something that has killed so many Cdramas for me. These supposedly mature, smart characters who know each other so well just suddenly up and totally misunderstand the persons entire personality/motivations that they supposedly knew so well (Usually with information gained from a totally shady source). Then both sides refusing to say two words to each other about it for like 20 eps. Then having another misunderstanding 2 days after they had the first one. It’s a trend that has made me drop so many shows, not just cdramas. 

BUT, what is this?! A ray of light in the script writing?? 

I’ve seen it in a few lately but most recently in my watch list ‘The Rebel Princess/Monarch Industry’ had the most wonderful mature and understanding relationship that didn’t jump to conclusions and instead spoke to each other like adults. A rare find indeed!

Now though! I have seen it once more in an unexpectedly fantastic drama: ‘The Imperial Coroner’. 

First off our FL takes the responsibility for this misunderstanding and causing trouble, instead of blaming our ML for it alone. Though here she’s also talking about taking responsibility for causing a prince to fall ill due to her actions.

Next then, our ML takes the responsibility of explaining himself in full to her and never blaming her for her reaction to his actions. Nor apologising but still admitting his mistakes. Then, explaining why it was necessary. For her safety and the safety of all the people he cares about. 

It goes one for a little while, but this is the bulk of the important stuff. He goes on to say that he doesn’t blame her for not telling him the truth but he must find out the truth himself even if she doesn’t help him because her safety means more to him. 

She goes on to assure him she doesn’t hate him for it and was just scared. (It’s plenty clear that as both a rumoured illegitimate child and female coroner our FL has had very little positive interaction with strangers outside her family and this prince is the first guy outside her family to treat her kindly and with respect. So her struggle with understanding people despite being so smart is plenty understandable to me. But I’m getting off topic.)

Anyway they manage to solve this in the span of only half an episode and our main couple is as close as ever for it. I hope the drama keeps this up. Though I do feel very robbed of a perfect whump opportunity when our ML coughs blood at the end of the previous episode due to this misunderstanding and instead of getting to see our characters reactions and immediate aftermath of some struggling and possible unconsciousness. The next episode skips all that and cuts to just seeing out ML in bed. Dang it drama!

Yet, that doesn’t ruin the moment. 

So, can I just say bravo drama! 

[naturedust]

The Arcana characters during the Covid-19 pandemic: Part 1 (Asra, Julian, Valerius)

hi everyone! i felt really happy whilst writing this. in each set of headcanons, the apprentice lives with that character! i don’t specify if there’s anything romantic or sexual going on between them though. this is VERY detailed, i’m still writing out muriel, nadia, portia, and lucio’s headcanons so they’ll come in part 2 <3 i hope you enjoy!! AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27529276/chapters/67324228

Asra

asra hosts weekly magic workshops (covering very very basic magic) with the apprentice over microsoft teams 💻 each workshop has a small fee, with all proceeds going to local vesuvian charities like mask suppliers, and food banks (who he tries to donate extra food to every week) supporting the poorest amongst their population. it was the apprentice who first suggested he do this, on a day he was feeling really afraid in the face of the pandemic.

i think he has days when he feels really helpless and trapped – and it runs a little deeper than cabin fever and restlessness. other than the pain he’d experience if he lost the apprentice again, being unable to do things freely is the worst situation he can think of... as much as asra prioritises the apprentice’s mental health, he doesn’t practice emotional expression a lot. he truly strives to be there for the apprentice and even when he remembers how they suffered after coming back...asra only cries silently at night when they are asleep – when he knows they can’t hear him. 

that’s part of the reason why he’s always seemed so mysterious in the game — growing up without his parents meant that he learnt to push down his fear and put on a brave face... and one of the reasons why he goes on trips without much explanation is to escape reality for a bit. he lets his vulnerability show only on the worst of days (like the day the apprentice died). on days where asra feels really afraid of the world and defeated, the apprentice takes over his shop duties and brews much more lapsang souchong than usual to comfort him. so much that even passerbys outside the shop are caught in the smokiness of it! unlike the red plague, every community in the world is affected, and there is nowhere for asra to escape to. this includes nopal. after vesuvia’s Covid-19 situation gets better though, he and the apprentice stay there sometimes as a mini vacation of sorts and it brings him peace 🏜

asra’s leading an effort to make high quality masks more accessible to vesuvians. in fact, that local mask provider i mentioned earlier is his initiative. he set it up after seeing people buy all the beaked plague doctor masks (the PPE of vesuvia) that actual working doctors need access to. he would never admit it but, when asra thinks about the doctors, julian is the first who comes to mind. anyways, the masks asra designs are stunning. he spends tireless nights testing their 3-ply efficacy, and they aren’t just plain blue or white – there are intricate details imprinted on them through his magic 🔮 

i think asra would also be really into coming up with new herbal concoctions for customers, after he notices how tired people look from being indoors all day – for example, he’s developed an immune system-boosting drink that’s a gorgeous swirly purple colour 🍶 it’s similar to traditional chinese medicine. also he only uses ethically sourced, 100% local herbs (by local, i mean from nopal and the tarske forest, where muriel helps him collect wildflowers and herbs!!)  🌿 he uses spells to counter the toxicity of his favourite belladonna flower and it becomes a superfood staple of his concoctions

he goes out every couple of days just to gather herbs and ingredients for aforementioned concoctions, always prioritising the ones he makes for the apprentice and always making those sweeter, taking more time to create colourful depths in them that resemble galaxies. asra also makes particular effort to bring back a wide range of fruits from his local trips as it always cheers the apprentice up 🍈

asra invents the most effective, affordable, environmentally-friendly, non-toxic and skin-friendly hand sanitiser and because this magician is the sweetest person ever and cares much more about people’s lives than making a profit during the pandemic, he shares the recipe online for free & magicians all around the world recreate the hand sanitiser for their local neighbourhoods. he’s since been featured in a couple of “Top 10 People You Should Follow” lists in business magazines and there’s an online petition with over 200k signatures calling for his nobel prize nomination lol. asra insists he doesn’t care about fame but when the apprentice laughs about these recognitions, they always notice asra’s eyes crinkling

asra would also become a lot more active on his youtube channel. that’s right, he’s always had a youtube channel, he’s just had a million hiatuses because of all his adventures. he has around 20,000 subscribers (and a similar amount on instagram...his feed is colourful and full of pictures depicting his travels, the shop, and above all, the apprentice). since he’s decided to stay at the shop with the apprentice – who is actually a little more vulnerable than others to viruses, because of their “reborn” form – he has the time to post weekly videos again. i think asra wouldn’t want to show his face in any of the videos, and not on his instagram either... and it’s got nothing to do with his self-esteem – he just wants the focus to be on what he’s doing rather than how he looks. the videos vary from very domestic vlogs with titles like “what two magicians do in a day” to packed af guides like “🐍 SPELLS TO REFINE AT HOME 🐍” & “crystals that can calm you during these times” and his wildly popular “carving crystals i mined: in real time” ⏳ the apprentice is a permanent fixture in all of them <3 viewers always assume they’re together and whether they are or not...that’s for you to think about ;)

asra is big on healing crystals and gemstones. like really, really big on them. he always makes sure to inform his customers and audiences that they are alternatives and not substitutes, and that sicknesses need real medicine & they can’t just wear a crystal in place of a mask (bc that’s happened before and he felt so guilty for carving and selling the crystal in question) what’s strange is, even though he usually sources his crystals from other countries during his travels, there seem to more than ever all around the shop and the apartment upstairs..

when the apprentice asks about it, it turns out that asra goes mining alone in nopal! he doesn’t really like to mine the actual desert as he’s only ever dug up gold and silver there. one time, he accidentally stumbled upon a cave at the edge of nopal and – ever the curious wandering magician – he ventured deep within it and found amazing crystals and gemstones everywhere 💎 he never mentioned it to the apprentice because he always thought it was too dangerous for them to go, until they remind him it’s dangerous for him too. from that day onwards they go looking for crystals every weekend together :’)

if asra was living alone, he would be fine with just wearing a mask to go outside. but since he lives with the apprentice – and especially after what happened during the red plague – he’s not risking ANYTHING. he wears aviator goggles and eco-vinyl gloves when he’s in the market, just to be extra safe, though when he’s out foraging he takes off his mask because there’s usually no one else there & it’s way too humid. the apprentice likes to make fun of how steampunk he looks & the way the big goggles make his hair extra poofy  🤍 

Julian

julian is on the frontlines of the vesuvian pandemic response. with his experience as a doctor – specifically, a frontline doctor during the red plague who discovered the cure (!!!) – he is revered by new doctors and nurses, most of whom are volunteers. when the pandemic first begins, there aren’t formal hospitals or medical schools set up in vesuvia, so he has to make do by reopening his clinic in the centre city, as an alternative to valdemar’s one in the palace – which, quite frankly is the stuff of nightmares for most of the population

as you know, julian is universally loved by the vesuvian people... so the waiting list of the hospital branch he works at is ALWAYS full. patients always report how gentle and attentive he is and how comforted they feel in his presence. even though he has to wear a hazmat suit and the plague doctor beak mask, he is known for visiting the most severely affect Covid-19 patients and holding their hands in their last moments.

the apprentice brings different flowers to put inside his beak mask every day (this is a headcanon that i’m pretty sure originated from the writer telanaris on AO3!!) to give julian some small comfort amongst all the death and suffering he’s witness to every day. they go out to the tarske forest or even to nopal with asra, or sometimes alone. because julian mentioned wolfsbane was his favourite flower once, the apprentice picked some without knowing that they’re poisonous. long story short, they blacked out and woke up in his clinic with an extremely worried julian nearly in tears launching into a self-blame monologue, about to black out himself from staying by their side the whole night

i also think julian would be featured in the news a lot and sometimes pretty randomly. he gives official weekly Covid-19 updates on the main vesuvian tv news channel – though the apprentice stands in for him after the first two weeks (he tries very hard to refuse their help because he doesn’t want to burden them, even though they assure him they actually want to relieve him of at least one of his burdens since he’s a full-time pandemic doctor – and because he almost fainted from exhaustion the second time. the apprentice kindly, but sternly asks him to take care of himself too, as he does everyone else)

he would just be on the news in general too...his random acts of kindness would go viral on social media – “Vesuvian Doctor Helps Elderly In Race for Toilet Paper.” ❤️ “Local Doctor Delivers Groceries for Struggling Families.” and his “grandmothers” in nevivon always get excited when they see him on the news and send letters to congratulate him (much to his embarrassment). julian would also go viral on twitter. one photo of him has 100k retweets: “oh my fcking god i just rounded the corner and there’s this really fucking t a l l man handing out free bottles of sanitiser. i don’t need to see him under his plague beak to know he’s hot af HELP” and the apprentice would retweet it saying “so proud of my bf” and the internet would go wild over this comment. it’s up to you to decide if they’re actually together or not hehe bc who knows the apprentice might’ve meant best friend 🤷🏻‍♀️

he sets up a youtube channel with no profile picture or description to upload a single video... “How to PROPERLY use hand sanitiser!” and all the comments are just about his looks and voice 😚 it reaches cities outside of vesuvia and because the hand sanitiser in the video is locally made (by asra!) it quickly becomes sold out by either those who don’t know how to do magic or people without access to the products being replicated by other magicians... because a lot of them actually marked up the price :(  + even communities that are afraid of magic buy it because asra’s detailed method and julian’s instructive marketing combined are that effective. a power couple... in another life, perhaps 💫

julian would then be invited to do a city-sponsored video guide on how to wash your hands (the idea is helmed by nadia, of course, who recognises the usefulness of his newfound fame). not only would he be extremely exhausted from full-day shifts, he’d also be overthinking to the point of hyperventilation before filming starts – but he surprises the apprentice with how professional and clear he is in the videos. a true thespian at heart, instead of happy birthday, he improvises on set and sings an old tune from nevivon instead as he washes his hands for 20 seconds 🌊 lemme just say...his hands also go viral lol. also, julian could be a tik tok star if he wanted to. he’s certainly got the moves for it, and can easily achieve the e-boy vibe – plus, he’s gone viral on there several times already!

even though julian doesn’t seem to care when he’s in danger, he’s very meticulous when it comes to the apprentice’s safety. living through his second pandemic and working with patients first hand means that he is very aware of how severe the situation is. every morning he prepares a 99:1 water:bleach ratio spray to spray his shoes when he comes home. he refuses to even touch the apprentice (for fear of passing on anything from the clinic) before he’s taken off his mask, thrown it away safely – then showering and washing his hair thoroughly.

having grown up in nevivon, i like to think that julian is really environmentally conscious, especially with regards to the sea. he used to go diving in the sea to retrieve trash, and as a young man he made a habit of going to the docks every weekend to remove plastic containers and wires from around the necks of salt seals 🌫. so, no matter how tired he is, when he comes home to the apprentice, julian never forgets to snip the ear loops of his surgical masks in half, as he knows sea creatures can get caught up in them. i’m sure he makes a second youtube video at some point to talk about this issue. tldr julian is an environmental activist <3

Valerius

so it’s been a long while since valerius was freed from you-know-who. his personality has definitely changed a lot since then... he’s back to his old and real self (which we never really saw in the game) 🌄 he works side by side with nadia now, not only as colleagues but also genuine friends, and he oversees the health department. he sets up dozens of hospitals and more general clinics in and out of vesuvia, consulting experienced doctors in vesuvia like julian as well as officials from neighbouring countries and states. as a side note, valerius is actually a very humble person and the most attentive listener you will ever meet. people from neighbouring governments & royal households admire him immensely as a result <3

out of everyone, i think valerius would be the most careful during the pandemic. during the red plague he witnessed lucio’s illness up close and it’s had a profound impact on him. he worries about the apprentice, a lot. more than anyone who knows him expects him to. he’s always the first to notice and remind them if their mask is falling down their nose, or if they’re about to rub their eyes with unwashed hands. you will never catch him forgetting to wear a mask or touching his face at all when he’s outside. he takes the time to use disinfectant wipes to clean everything he brings back home one by one, and though valerius is adamant it’s not the apprentice’s responsibility (because most of the things are usually files from the palace he has to go through before the next morning or things he brings back from the market) the apprentice always insists they want to help out :’) so it becomes a nice daily evening ritual, sitting together on the floor after returning from the palace, cleaning their things in silence together 💜

speaking of things he buys, valerius loves the marketplace. he discovers it one day by accident when looking for a bouquet of 🌹 red roses 🌹 to bring back for the apprentice, who was particularly upset that day after helping valerius out at the new hospitals and not being able to help any of the patients as much as they would have liked with their magic. when valerius stumbles across the marketplace, he is absolutely amazed by the colours and smells that surround him. he spends a lot of his free time and lunch hours looking through jewellery stalls – especially hairpins and hair sticks. 

anyone looking at him would be able to see how much care valerius puts into maintaining his hair. because he washes his hair every day (to avoid bringing any Covid-19 related germs into bed), and because being free from you-know-who has made him a lot more open to magic... not to mention because he actually lives with the apprentice now 💜 i think valerius would also consult asra about magical hair masks and conditioners, to keep his very long and thick hair healthy and soft, despite washing it every day.

he knows from accidentally overhearing asra a long time ago that the apprentice loves pumpkin bread, so he asks around for hours until he finally finds the baker’s stall 🍞 it takes hours because valerius is really bad with directions and gets lost a few times... it doesn’t help that he’s distracted by all the different foods and jewellery that he’s never seen before (he picks up a nice ring for the apprentice, and yes he’s so attentive and familiar with jewellery that he guesses their ring band size correctly). from that day onwards, once or twice a week, he wakes up a little earlier than usual to sneak out of his estate and buy the bread, so that the apprentice can enjoy it – freshly made, warm, and their favourite – for breakfast 🥣

yes, he has an estate (this mr. darcy-like headcanon is from jane_ways on AO3!!) and he treats his household employees very well, offering paid leave for all of them so that they can stay with their own families. in their absence, he proves to be an incredible cook, albeit a little rusty because he hasn’t cooked anything substantial since being under you-know-who’s influence and because he’s been too busy at the palace to eat anything that isn’t catered. 

due to social distancing, the apprentice and him eat in a lot more – valerius is very ambitious and soon moves past making homemade dishes... he cooks blown out, elaborate dinners and prepares creative and (visually) beautiful packed lunches to bring to work 🍴 whenever the apprentice has to work late he brings them dinners inspired by the colours of the shop that day – he is hesitant to admit it, at first, but he’s always admired the crystals there, and he is often inspired by them in his food presentations. asra is ever perceptive and gifts him a few (polished amethyst because he used to be an insomniac, black tourmaline and selenite to keep you-know-who at bay 💎) soon after the apprentice frees him from the curse

i really see valerius as someone who against all expectations is really into hands-on work like welding and carving – things that can get messy. he’s slowly trying to get rid of it, but since he first started working at the palace he’s maintained a very prim and posh appearance. he really loves to weld jewellery like rings and earrings. before the pandemic began, he took a few classes in the marketplace – classes which are on hiatus now, of course. he's set up a little studio in his estate and wears a blacksmith’s apron and goggles and everything. it’s honestly quite the sight. whenever the apprentice is working longer hours at the shop making potions with asra, he goes into the studio to continue his projects. some of the ones he’s proudest of are: the pure-silver wine rack, the gold headbands and rings he makes for himself – and then for the apprentice too when they keep “borrowing” his – and his favourite of all is his first ever project: the cast iron skillet that took him over a week to weld. he hand engraved the apprentice and his initials onto its handle <3  you don't need to read any of this as a romantic gesture, because friends can definitely do the same!

i like to think that prakra managed the pandemic especially well, and that valerius sits down to have zoom calls with queen nasrin to discuss ways the two places can collaborate and help each other 👑 she becomes his mentor of sorts, as he’s still relatively young and inexperienced when it comes to governing a city-state like vesuvia. when nasrin visited nadia before at the palace, she was not a fan of valerius at all and was just as wary of him as nadia was. however she becomes very fond of him as a result of their collaboration, and even starts to see him as a son ❕ other than the apprentice, nasrin would be the second person valerius talks the most freely with. initially he is very reluctant to share anything about his life, let alone his past before landing the consul job – but he eventually opens up and nasrin plays a role in helping him move past his failures (his eyes are opened after the apprentice frees him, and he feels immense shame from how he didn’t lead vesuvia very successfully in nadia’s absence)