#ardyn: can i MURDER A LITTLE BIT

[sparklecryptid]

More random thoughts that made me laugh - a Lovecraft-inspired thought about how a Lazarus might respond to a question about Luche’s whereabouts. “In her Uncle’s home on Angelgard Rita’s daughter lies dreaming.”

Auto-correct, the bane of everyones existence!

ahem.

have a thing.

@hamelin-born

-

Cor is good at getting information. He knows he is good at getting information. Cor is one of the best at sniffing out leads and then rending the leads and the trail of traitorous garbage it leads to to ashes. There is no trail he can't follow and no one he can't threaten.

Or at least he thought that was the case, until Luche Lazarus blew up half a battlefield, ripped fate apart in a carnage of magic and blood, and proceeded to vanish off the face of Eos.

Cor can't find her. Her comrades can't find her. Titus fucking Drautos probably knows where she is but is refusing to tell him or Regis where the erstwhile princess is. Drautos had pulled out some bullshit about honoring a 'life debt' when threatened with treason and Regis and Cor had back down because the two of them know what that means.

It's the same thing that binds Cor to Regis after all, punishing Drautos for not tattling on his princess seems to be in bad taste.

So Cor goes to the next available source of information.

He goes to Clan Lazarus. The fact that they're seers means they must have some sort of information on their wayward daughter.

It turns out they do.

It also turns out they do not want to share that information with Cor or the King.

"She's with her uncle," one says, repeating the words others have spoken to Cor in the past three days, "She's safe."

"I need to know where she is," Cor grinds out.

"She's safe," the Lazarus repeats, "That's all that matters isn't it?"

-

Cor finally gets an audeince with the Clan Elder. She's an old woman, the white in her hair overtaking the strands of black that that still show.

Terra is also warm - not in body temperature - in the same way Regis is warm. Like she looks at you and knows that you're a threat but will treat you kindly anyway.

Cor is uncomfortable.

"Where is Luche Lazarus?" He asks Terra.

"Tita's daughter rests in her uncle's home on Angelgard," Terra says and Cor's blood runs cold.

-

Angelgard is unpleasant. The smell of salt in the air and the warmth of the sun that Luche can finally feel on her skin doesn't detract from that. Angelgard is too full of memories, of the echoes of Ardyn screaming and begging for it to be pleasant.

Still Luche is here for a reason. No one will think to look for her here, and although walking into her uncle's home - a small two bedroom cabin that is furnished far too expensively for Luche's taste - had gotten Luche almost sliced open by a scythe she can't say that she minds having Ardyn be a hovering presence as he scowls at her and drags her away from the parts of the island that hold his worst memories.

Luche doesn't mind it.

That doesn't mean she's expecting it when a furious Tredd blasts open the door and is treated to the exact same treatment Luche received when she arrived.

Cor has a blade to her uncle's neck and Luche considers stabbing him for the affront.

[strangefellows]

Two different fandoms and I know in general but I'm curious about the details, Cu and Emet?

First impression

Emet: God my reaction was basically OH GOD, NO when he popped up the first time because I'd been so burned by Ardyn's treatment and how he was mishandled in XV, and Emet giving me Ardyn vibes nearly immediately triggered my panic button of NO I DON'T WANT THIS AGAIN. I did NOT want to like him and get fucked over again.

Cu: Hot! Hot guy! Oh, Cu Chulainn, I know him! He's my dad's favorite myth hero! My dad and I watched UBW together, so he was pretty hyped to see Cu, and though at the time I didn't know as much about him, I thought he looked pretty cool and I'm a nut for Irish/Celtic mythos, so I was intrigued.

Impression now

Emet: MY LOVE MY DARLING, YOU BASTARD MAN. I can tell you the exact moment I gave in was in Amaurot, during Hyth's little speech about Emet when they had a nearly frame-by-frame perfect recreation of an Ardyn scene (the bit where Emet's walking down the street shot in dif angles) and it hit me that Ishikawa was not going to do me dirty like Tabata did, and I just went "oh okay I can safely love him". He's fantastic and one of my favorite FF characters now but also FUCK YOU FOR LEAVING YOU ABSOLUTE BITCHLORD

Cu: I LOVE HIM SO MUCH [sobbing] his interactions with Rin and Shirou in UBW were what sold me on him completely, he was just so warm and friendly and teasing, and so clearly a loyal badass, and his death scene absolutely destroyed my ass, and then I read about myth Cu and screamed a bit because he's SO COOL, and then FGO ruined me further. He's incredible.

Favorite moment

Emet: "You've committed the cardinal sin of boring me." is one of them for sure, but also Literally Everything In Elpis. The moment when you go in as a DPS and this motherfucker is a DRK.

Cu: Absolutely destroying Kirei in UBW, CasCu wrecking Corrupted Emiya's shit in the Fuyuki Singularity anime, every single time in my FGO file this absolute Irish cockroach has been my last man standing and saved the entire fight for me singlehandedly, my love my darling.

Idea for a story

Emet: YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED YOU BITCH; anything like that I guess, but also let me see more past shenanigans.

Cu: God, IDK, myth stuff? Chaldea shenanigans? Let this man have a damn nap?

Unpopular opinion

Emet: ....I'm not sure what's unpopular or not anymore? It's hard to say.

Cu: I absolutely fucking despise the "Oh no, you killed Cu!" joke, it's not funny, mildly insulting frankly, and it needs to knock it off. He has plenty of comedic potential without him needing to be lol-murdered every five minutes. The comedic abuse angle is awful. (On a less salty note, I don't ship Cu and Emiya, though yall do yall XD)

Favorite relationship

Emet: EmetAzemHyth OT3, obviously! Though Emet and non-Azem WoLs is fun to explore too, his relationship with them.

Cu: Besides how much I fucking adore the BFF relationship I've written between him and my Fujimaru? ALL ABOARD THE GOOD DINGHY SS CUROBIN!!!! Though CuGil is a fun secondary ship, and like I said for Gil, the Cu+Gil+Emiya friendship trio is delightful.

Favorite headcanon

Emet: I like the idea he has some sentimental feelings towards the Garlean Empire (its people specifically) despite everything, and it would kinda break his heart to see it as of EW.

Cu: Trans Cu thanks very much. Also I headcanon a VERY DIFFERENT version of events regarding Aife and Connla's conception that I won't talk about here, but I do prefer my version given Cu's stated personality. (Also I like thinking he was actually pretty loyal to Emer despite the flirting, he doesn't seem the type to actively cheat, regardless of what's said his personality doesn't to me seem the type.)

[secret-engima]

Hey what do you think about canon meeting future is blurry? I bet everyone would be super weird out meeting their counterparts.

Hmmm, I think I’ve already done a canon meets Future is Blurry? But sure some real quick HCs.

-It is super weird yet. Depending on who hops to who’s dimension there would definitely be chaos. But being able to sense the magic of the other helps keep things from turning violent at least.

-Canon!Regis is absolutely floored to meet his “older half-brother Glaucus”. Glaucus just has a headache because he’s a bit busy keeping Besithia from running off to explore a parallel dimension of potential samples.

-The Nocti get along like tiny houses on fire, Cor is having Emotions seeing little FB!Prompto interact with them.

-Cor does try to shank Besithia, understandably, but is stopped. Besithia is horrified and outraged to hear that his counterpart is still working for the Empire and *making daemon soldiers*. He’s just- so furious. Glaucus let him go he has a counterpart to murder.

-Glaucus: Tempting, but no.

-It takes a while to spot Ardyn lurking in the back behind Sylva, and canon!Regis promptly decides he doesn’t want to know why the counterpart of the Chancellor of Niflheim is here. He’s stressed out enough.

-Depending on timeline, Glaucus gets to laugh at the sheer fascinated horror of the Glaives as they behold Smol Feral Teen Titus. He is Smol. He is Angry. He Will Fite His Other Self Just Watch.

-Young Cor isn’t any better really.

-Glaucus probably does some off screen fixiting tbh, using Besithia and the young Cor and Titus as distractions. His Regis is a sigh because he knows when Glaucus is using a distraction, but he doesn’t know specifically why and he doesn’t think he can stop the man.

[tinygamertris]

@nagiru Here we go again, the long posts continue! Now to reference one of my favourite RPG series... God I miss the classic Phantasy Star games.

Oh, is that so? You kidnapped the sister of Laya's greatest general, and you're just now starting to think that it might not have been a good idea?

Ah yes, I know that feeling when you remember you used to exclusively write het. Such a strange feeling to have, now that 99.9999% of my work is Extremely Queer. (Mind you I have a very religious mother and went to a religious school because it had the best science classes in the state - irony! - so I can say without any shadow of doubt that I didn’t even know there were queer options until my early twenties...)

I remember the ‘hybrid’ phase! I used to do that so often, it was wild... I had everything from demon-angel kids to part cats XD Ironically I did come back to the idea as an adult, I had this whole complicated magical-sci-fi world where one particular species was trying to avoid dying out so when they met new species they’d share this ritual allowing the creation of hybrid children... I should get back to that one day. I mean honestly, magical space ships are just cool and I focussed a lot on the various hybrids and their place in different societies and I kinda miss the grumpy pilot lass...

After Record Breaker and Daichi discovering he has a talent for earning trust and organising people I always thought he went into either diplomacy or human resources-style administration. He’s very good at bringing people together after all <3

Hibiki is absolutely the kind of person who tries to fly on no sleep and sheer balls until the point where he collapses from exhaustion. He was absolutely mainlining coffee and soft drinks during the game. 

I’ve always wondered what Kazuya and Naoya would make of the world resets... Although knowing Naoya it probably involves him going “Oh for fuck’s sake not again’ while Kazuya flops on the floor next to him complaining that he has to start romancing Atsuro all over again. (Yes I absolutely OTP Kazuya/Atsuro, they are precious doofuses.)

Not only are the Hotsuin familiar with murder, in this case it takes a LOT of effort to stop Yamato escalating straight to it. He’s gotten better at not defaulting to ‘kill the fucker��� since the first world but look at what he did to Hibiki’s family how dare that pathetic slug hurt them?! (Yamato is rabidly protective of Hibiki and I cannot be convinced otherwise, and of course it’s going to extend to the little brother and the little brother’s boyfriend once he gets to know them.)

My favourite anything involving a prophecy has always been Pokemon the Movie 2000, where the prophecy literally says “And the world will turn to Ash” and for centuries everyone thought it meant burnt-stuff-ash and then Slowking looks at Ash Ketchum as it all goes down and just *snrk*. It’s pretty damn funny. Apart from that I really hate prophecies. I actually once had a world set up where there was an entire clan with the ability to see the future and one of the main characters was a Seer from this clan and even then they didn’t make prophecies because a. the future is mutable and b. when you only see short flashes of said future it can be very hard to work out what any of it means!

I miss Lily the Seer. She gave very few fucks.

FUCK Naoto’s Social Link. I’ve never finished it because someone showed me the Christmas Eve scene with her and I was so offended I almost gave up on the game entirely. Naoto and Kanji are both extremely queer-coded and I did not enjoy the game trying to pretend they weren’t. 

Okay Luna and Ardyn becoming friends after she slaps the hell out of him is perfect and my new headcanon! Him realising he seriously underestimated her, her discovering why he’s as angry and fucked up as he is, slow tentative overtures of friendship... Love it!

I do stream a little bit because there’s a show here called Gogglebox that is extremely funny but almost impossible to watch on free to air, and my parents let me use their Foxtel account for it. I absolutely wouldn’t if I had to pay for it though, the disability pension is stretched thin already.

[bonjovian]

So I gotta go off about Ravus for a hot sec here

This contains spoilers for Final Fantasy XV and Episode Ignis. This is your warning.

First off, we don't hear anything about the King of Tenebrae, which makes me believe that he died when Ravus and Luna were just children. So Ravus is already the man of the house. Then Niflheim invades and murders his mother in front of him when he was only 16. He lost both his parents at this point, so all he has left are Luna, Umbra and Pryna, though the latter two are Luna's dogs.

So he and Luna spend a few years as prisoners, and he joins with Niflheim due to his belief that Regis could have saved his mother but he did nothing. So when given the opportunity, he participates in the attack of Insomnia, and takes the ring of the Lucii. Well, that doesn't end well and bye-bye arm. This is his second traumatic event with fire (tiny headcanon that he is afraid of fire)

(Sidenote, can we just talk about that physical change that followed that event?)

He is given a prosthetic arm that was made the same way that the Nifs make Magiteks, so it is laced with the starscourge, just enough to most likely explain his sudden changes in appearance, like his hair going silver and the eye color change from grey to blue and purple.

Now it's off to Altissia, where Luna, who is getting really sickly, is to summon Leviathan. She and Noctis get separated from the others, and Ignis sides with Ravus as they go to find the lovers. But they were too late: Luna has died. Ravus lashes out and, if I remember right, he says something about losing everything. And that he has: he has no family left. It's just him.

After the battle with Leviathan, Ravus is blamed for a lot of the destruction, and is set to be executed, as noted by a newspaper you can read while on the train to Niflheim.

And as seen in the Chapter 13 little bonus scene where you play as Gladio and Ignis, he is attacked by daemons before falling from a pretty good height, and he attempts to return the blade of the father (I cant remember its exact name) to who he believes is Noctis, but it turns out to be Ardyn. For a brief bit after that, the player is made to believe that he died there, having got his prosthetic arm cut off, which was the source of his strength.

But no. Ardyn is too big of a dick to let the last Nox Fleuret die in peace like that. You make it to a hanger area, and suddenly, he's there. Half daemon and begging for you to kill him. Pleading you to end his suffering.

You do, and from what I have heard he is a tough boss (idk I was crying 90% of the battle) He finally gets to rest and be with his family once more.

TLDR; Ravus has a shitty life and he needs more love

[a-world-in-grey]

Nani here - does Sola get pulled into Dissidia?

Oooo, Dissidia AU!

Okay, bear in mind that the only bits I know of Dissidia are what @secret-engima has rambled about, but based off that-

-Sola doesn’t get called to Dissidia. No, during Sola’s life it’s Noctis and Ardyn who are called as Champions.

-No, instead it’s Phoebe who finds herself tripping into the middle of a dusty, dry red desert that’s honestly nothing like Leide. Finds herself sidestepping the decapitating strike from a silver haired man with cat-slit green eyes and a blade longer than the swordsman is tall. Finds herself following the man - Sephiroth, he calls himself - to the glowing red tower in the distance, the only spark of magic in a world on it’s last breath.

-Phoebe would very much like to know what the actual Pyre is going on, and she’s more than a bit insulted that she’s been lumped in with a bunch of nutjobs and murderers. Sure, Snow is less villainous and more... jaded and broken, but after him the next decent is Sephiroth, and he gives off an air far too similar to Sola’s memories of Ardyn. 

-It doesn’t help that the other Champions have been summoned in their various finery, while Phoebe is in her battered Hunter leathers. And while Phoebe is fairly certain she’s nowhere near the oldest, she certainly looks it, pushing fifty as she is. Though Phoebe does admit, side-eyeing some of her fellow Champions, at least she isn’t under-dressed.

-Then Phoebe learns of Materia and her Champions, of Order and Harmony, and Phoebe remembers enough of Noctis’ various video game rambles to realize that she’s essentially on the Villains’ side. 

-And she’s pretty sure she knows why. Which, okay, fair, but that doesn’t mean she has to like it.

-Now, to find out which poor sod got dragged into this mess as Materia’s Champion.

-Regis is not happy when he finds himself in a dusty desert that is most certainly not his office. He’s even less happy when he hears about why he’s no longer in the Citadel, and he has no compunctions making it clear to Materia his exact feelings on the matter. He has a kingdom to run, and a newly wedded wife and premature, newborn daughter to get back to!

-It’s his worry for Sola - born too early, born too small and monitored around the clock because the doctors don’t know if his little Sun will survive - that brings Regis’ fatherly instincts to the fore and by the time Materia’s Champions head out to find and battle Spiritus’, Regis is fussing over the half of Materia’s Champions who are eighteen and younger. The eighteen years olds - Firion and Terra - try to protest the treatment, but look, Cor is eighteen so there’s little they can do to stop Regis from slotting them into the ‘must protect’ category.

-Regis honestly has no clue who his counterpart in Spiritus’ Champions is supposed to be. He just... doesn’t have an archenemy like the rest of Materia’s Champions, certainly not like the WoL or Cloud. Someone from Niflheim, perhaps?

-It’s not.

-They run into some of Spiritus’ Champions, and Regis is fending off the Champion aiming for young Onion Knight - and trying not to look at how little she’s wearing, but it’s rather difficult when she’s attacking so insistently - when there’s a low, inhuman snarl and a glaive nearly spears the the woman from behind. The shattering of chimes, golden shards of magic and the woman has to dodge the fire and lightning aiming to utterly obliterate her.

-The battle screeches to a halt. Spiritus’ Champions stare at the redhead in battered leathers, their supposed teammate as she snarls at the scantily dressed woman. Materia’s Champions stare for an altogether reason, Regis included, because-

-“Phoebe?” He sputters.

-“Not now Regis.” Phoebe tells him, gaze not leaving her target as she spins her glaive and stalks forward with the lethal grace of a Coeurl. Her Hunter’s uniform disappears in a burst of golden shards, replaced by gilded black leather armor. “I have a would-be childslayer to deal with.”

-Phoebe’s target flees, Phoebe in hot pursuit. And Regis wonders when everything stopped making sense.

-Lightning glances at Regis’ shocked expression. “Not who you were expecting, I take it?” And all Regis can do is shake his head.

-No. Not at all. Not the magic, the oh so familiar pattern of lines tracing Phoebe’s face, a pattern altogether different than Regis remembers seeing on her, and the dark lines dripping from blackened eyes glowing red with the force of her fury.

-But he knows Phoebe. Perhaps not as well as he’d once thought, but regardless of her secrets the woman herself has not changed. Her protective fury is proof enough.

-So when Phoebe tracks them down, unarmed and in her Hunter leathers once more, eyes and face as Regis remembered from their first meeting, Regis waves for the others to stand down.

-“I assume she’s been taken care of?” Regis says after a moment.

-Phoebe’s satisfied smirk is answer enough. But she sobers only a moment later, shifting from foot to foot as she looks away. “I... guess you’d like an explanation.”

-“Not if you don’t want to give one.” Regis refutes immediately. He’s had the time to think about it, to stamp down on the shock and think rationally. Revelations aside, Regis has never had any reason to distrust Phoebe. Not when the woman has done so much for Regis, including facing down Gilgamesh to rescue Cor from the Immortal Shield.

-“Well, I’d like one.” Lightning interjects, crossing her arms and staring at Phoebe with narrowed eyes. The rest of his fellow Champions look no less suspicious. “Who are you?”

-Phoebe hums, and Regis would almost say the Elder looks amused. “I’m Phoebe, Chief of Clan Astrum and Regis’ kin.”

-“And the... incident, earlier?” Y’shtola asks. “Not that we aren’t grateful.” She hurriedly adds. “But it is... odd, for a Champion of Spiritus.”

-Oh, Regis knows the answer to this one. “Phoebe is Galahdian.” He tells them, echoing the words from years back. “Galahdians don’t tolerate childslayers. Or would-be ones.”

- Phoebe’s grin is less a smile and more a baring of teeth. “We execute them.”

-Which is pretty much the same thing Phoebe and Koios told Regis when he asked about it.

-Lightning looks like she has a headache. “So why are you Spiritus’ Champion?”

-“I’m considered Regis’ rival.” Phoebe shrugs. “If you want to be technical about it.”

-“Because you’re a candidate for the throne?” Y’shtola asks.

-“Ah, no. Not that.” Phoebe grimaces. “But the gods would rather Regis try to kill me, given I’m the Accursed.”

-Regis chokes. “You’re what?”

[nightowlfandom]

Ardyn Izunia- A Soft Spot For You

Daily Reminder that’d I’d fight Ardyn! Dab.

Leggo!

....

He was mad again. No, he was livid. No...even worse.

You could hear him yelling at whoever was unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of his fury. His opponent would either be brutally maimed right in the ego, or end up without a limb when this was over. Either one was horrible.  

You hugged your knees as you hid in the closet, hoping you wouldn’t be unlucky enough to see his angry face. Angry Ardyn was Murderous Ardyn in any world. Long story short, it was bad. You were scared, mostly because you’ve seen Ardyn angry before. You were unfortunate enough to see a man burned alive at his hand, for whatever reason, but that was another story. You were used to it, him being grumpy. But even though you’ve seen him angry before, it never failed to terrify you.

Just how much longer is he going to be-

You heard the door be thrown open followed by more loud cursing.

“FIX IT OR I’LL DO WORSE THAN THAT! DON’T MAKE ME HAVE TO CLEAN UP ANOTHER MESS.” Ardyn shouted before slamming the door shut. Another frustrated growl erupted from his throat. He glared around the room, seemingly ready to set a flame to the first thing he saw. Of course everything had to have gone wrong in this hour. Throwing his bloody dagger on the floor, he rid himself of his multiple layers, leaving his torso completely shirtless. Another low growl ripped through Ardyn’s throat, before a defeated sigh left his lips. No use in being irritated now. He went to walk into the bathroom when he realized something. Where were you?

You weren’t on the bed like he had left you hours before, not in the bathroom...not anywhere.

“Y/N?” he asked gruffly, annoyance still laced in his voice. He didn’t recall seeing you leave the room. His office was right next to the bedroom, he would have seen you walk by.

Your eyes widened. He wasn’t mad because of you was he?! Was it too late to run? You put a hand over your mouth to keep from breathing too hard. Oh gee.

“Y/N!” he said again, this time more aggressive . At least it sounded that way His tone of voice caused a gasp to escape your lips. You had wished you hadn’t because you heard loud footsteps nearing the closet. You braced yourself for the worst.

Ardyn yanked the closet door open seemingly glaring down at you. All you could do was stare back, completely powerless. You crawled backwards, further away from your red-faced lover. You turned your head away in fear as he glared. Oh no, here it came. You could hear his heavy breaths from his outburst earlier.

“....My dear...what’s the matter?” when you had looked up again, Ardyn’s face had completely softened. “Why so sad? and....why are you in here?”

“You’re upset.” you stammered, turning your head away. Now, Ardyn had never done anything to hurt you, but there were many times were you had almost been caught in a crossfire. Almost getting your clothes set aflame wasn’t your idea of the perfect date night.

“What? Upset?  Y/N I-” he was cut off by you sniffling. You didn’t want to look at him when he ended up turning his anger towards you. “Y/N my love, why are you crying?” Ardyn was genuinely concerned, he knelt down until he was at eye level with you. Yes, he was agitated but he could never take out his anger on you! You probably looked like a child sitting there.

“Because you’re mad.” you still didn’t look at him.

 “My dear I’m not angry at you. My intentions are not to take my anger out on you.”

“...You’re not?” you looked up to meet his golden eyes. “B-but I heard you-”

“My dear, “ the man began chuckling. “Allow me to explain.” he spoke. Well that part you knew. Ardyn was pretty much unstable when angry, it was better to stay out of his way. “That outburst you heard...there was a traitor on the council and I simply couldn’t stand by and tolerate it any longer. I had to make an example of him and they dared questioned my logic. He had dared to threaten me.” His eyes almost flickered white for a second there. “I refused to stand by and allow them to disrespect my authority...it was a mess that needed cleaning.” you could see him seething with rage.

You shyly wiped your eyes on a coat that had been hanging. That didn’t really answer your question. In fact that bought you right back to the beginning.

“Am I that terrifying? Do you have to hide yourself in a closet just to avoid my wrath?” Ardyn asked. When you nodded, you saw a slight smile grace his lips. “You truly are silly, my dear.”

“Ardyn, I’m serious! You’re really scary when you’re angry.” You said as Adryn raised his hand to touch the side of your face. “I didn’t want to see your face when you walked in.” You looked down. “ I didn’t-”

“Ah but do you not understand, my dear. Seeing your face puts my foul mood at ease.” he raised his hand to wipe another tear that had run down your cheek. “I came up here hoping we could relax and unwind together after such a long bothersome day.”

You sat up on your knees, wiping your eyes again. “Really?”

“Come...” He opened his arms wind. Still sniffling, you crawled out towards Ardyn. His arms wrapped tightly around you as he moved to sit cross-legged so you could sit on his lap. “I could never be angry at you, my darling Y/N. You don’t have to hide from me.”

“I don’t?” You asked looking up at him.

“Of course not, silly girl.” he chuckled at your surprise. “Look at me, darling.” you looked up at your lover. You leaned against his broad and bare chest, feeling his lips meet your forehead. “I’m sorry. I should have readied myself before coming in. If I had known you were scared.” you felt his arm hug you tighter. You trailed your fingers down his bare chest. “You’re shaking almost.”

“I’m sorr-”

“No, my sweet. Don’t even say it.” Ardyn chuckled. “I’ll be sure to check my emotions at the door next time.” he assured. “Maybe then I won’t have to find you hidden in a closet.”

Ardyn wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, not a soul, but he had a soft spot for you. For you to think he’d ever come for you, it hurt him. Well of course he had to make a point to others, however in knowing that you were scared of that side of him, he’d have to take extra precaution to assure you.

“Yeah, not one of my proudest moments.” you said shyly. It beat you hiding under a desk in his study once after punching some girl in the face who was making googly eyes at him. 

Hell no, that was your man. You had to show that hoe!

“I think it’s simply adorable.” He pecked your lips. “Now then, shall we have a bath together?”

You were still a bit shy about confronting Ardyn about such a predicament, so a wordless nod sufficed. He helped you to your feet. He grabbed your hand and led you to the bathroom, his hands massaging your shoulders.

“Scared? Of me?” Ardyn chuckled at the thought. “Hm, what illusions of me has your innocent mind fabricated?” he kissed your temple.

“I watched you set someone on fire....twice.” you mumbled in reply. “And I watched you choke someone with a tentacle in broad daylight, and I watched you push a man off a cliff only to revive him several times....so you could do it again.”

“Amusing is it not?” he laughed gleefully.

“Well, our versions of amusement are on total opposite ends of the spectrum” you crossed your arms, leaning into his touch. How did you two ever end up together?

“Why don’t I run the bath?” he left your side to turn on the faucet.

You stared at his back as he turned away from you. You leaned against the bathroom counter, just observing. Ardyn walked back towards you, a content look on his face. “Arms up.”

“Ardyn, I’m fully capable of undressing myself.” you raised an eyebrow. Just what was your lover planning now?

“I’m aware. I just don’t think I asked you that, darling. Arms up.” he repeated again.

You did as he said, raising your arms over your head to allow him to ease your shirt off your body. Your watched his fingers slowly undo your belt buckle before letting it drop to the floor, taking your skirt with it. Before you had the chance to dwell on any insecurity, Ardyn had caught you by surprise, hoisting you off your feet towards the abnormally large bathtub.

“You know I can walk right?” you giggled aloud at his mannerisms. Always the type to get a point across.

“This is more fun don’t you think?” he mused, sitting you at the edge of the tub. “Now you get in, and I’ll be right back.” 

He turned his back and walked out of the bathroom. You dipped your toe in the hot water. Perfect. You eased yourself into the water, suddenly feeling a wash of relaxation wash over you. Just as you turned back around, Ardyn was closing the bathroom door, now free of his pants and completely exposed. You quickly looked at something, anything else in an attempt to make it seem like you weren’t staring at his...

You heard the water splash around slightly before feeling a presence close to you. You turned back around and saw Ardyn sitting right in front of you, arms stretched out, eyes closed, with his head leaning against the wall. He looked so relaxed this way. 

“Do you intend on just watching me, darling Y/N?” Ardyn asked, chuckling without even looking up. You slowly moved towards Ardyn, getting comfortable and you leaned against his chest. He looked down at you as your mind wandered, glaring off into space. You finally realized he was watching you and looked up to meet his eyes. 

“...Sup.” you said stupidly, not knowing what else to say.

“Hello.” he replied, a snide smile on his face. “Shall I wash your back? Turn around.” he grabbed a washcloth, dunking it in the water. You turned your back towards him. You rested your head on your knees as you felt the warm washcloth touch your back. You closed your eyes, reveling in the relaxation that washed over you.  “Hm, face me.”

You slowly turned your head around before maneuvering the rest of your body to face Ardyn. You didn’t have time to say anything before you were straddling his lap. 

“Feeling better?” he asked, wrapping his arms around your body. 

“A little.” you replied shyly. 

“Good,why don’t we finish up. Then you and me can relax in...other ways?”

[fallintosanity]

What are your thoughts on 7 Remake’s ~controversial~ ending? It’s been a few weeks now since I finished and I legit feel like I’ve journeyed through all 5 stages of grief and finally landed on Acceptance 😅

haha that’s fair! I have a lot of thoughts about the remake, but they’re coming from three different angles. 

(Spoilers under the cut obvs; also this got fucklong even after I cut a bunch of non-ending-related thoughts, and I apologize to those of you on mobile)

From the POV of someone who played and loved the original

Overall, I really enjoyed the remake, ending and all. I replayed the OG prior to the remake’s release, finishing literally four hours before the remake became available in North America, but it had still been months since I did the Midgar parts so it wasn’t too immediately fresh in my mind. Still, I was impressed by how faithful the remake is to the OG for the vast majority of the game. They noticeably cleaned up a few things, like Tseng slapping Aerith, which didn’t age well or stopped making sense with regards to the greater Compilation, which was nice to see. But they also doubled down on some of the ridiculousness of the original. I can’t tell you how much I cackled when the Hell House showed up, or how many times I said to my fiance in joy/disbelief, “They really managed to fit that in!” 

I also love all the little nods to the greater Compilation. I saw one interview excerpt from like... 2015 or 2014 or something that said the Remake is considered canon to the Compilation, and the content of the Remake itself suggests this. While some of the cameos could be considered nothing more than cameos (as much as I love Kunsel, I don’t think his name being dropped means anything other than that they needed a name and wanted to give a nod to him), there are other clear hints that Crisis Core and The Kids Are Alright, at minimum, are canon to the Remake. Hojo mentions “S and G type” SOLDIERs, i.e., Sephiroth-type and Genesis/Gillian-type. (Roche is a G type I am not taking arguments on this point) The description of the Buster Sword says it carries the hopes and dreams of those who came before, implying more than just Zack (i.e., Angeal). Zack’s scene right before he charges the ShinRa army is shot-for-shot the one from Crisis Core, which could have just been a nod, but the fact that he also says the same lines as the original is telling. There’s a lot of lore loaded into those lines. Leslie and Kyrie are both from The Kids Are Alright (which makes me wonder if the third ShinRa half-brother is floating around somewhere). You could make an argument for Before Crisis being partially or completely canon to the remake as well, since someone mentions a previous assassination attempt on the President, which happened in BC. 

But now we get into the issue of whether Advent Children is canon to the remake, i.e., the ending and the thing you actually asked about. ^^; This is where I’m more torn. My initial reaction to the ending was “Oh crap, we went from FFVII-Remake to Kingdom Hearts - oh shit now we’re in Advent Children - oh fuck now we’re in fanfiction-land.” Which... is definitely not what I was expecting from the ending of Part 1. 

On first playthrough it feels a bit like they overplayed their hand with Sephiroth in the ending: “everyone wants a Sephiroth fight in a FFVII game, so we’ll give them a Sephiroth fight”. I’ve seen a lot of complaints about the fact that Sephiroth appears in person in the Midgar sequence, when in the OG all we see of him before Kalm is the aftermath of President Shinra’s murder. I do think Sephiroth’s appearances prior to the ending were done well - the writers clearly intended to emphasize Cloud’s mental issues, and Sephiroth is too big a part of them to ignore. His appearances prior to the top of Shinra Tower both serve as a bone tossed to those who wanted to see him in the remake, and set up the Cloud-Sephiroth relationship a lot earlier and in more depth. You can see how utterly terrified Cloud is every time Sephiroth is around - even sometimes frozen into immobility. Depending on how things go with the Kalm flashback, this may also help cue new players in to just how wrong things are with Cloud. (After all, a SOLDIER First shouldn’t be afraid of another SOLDIER First, should he?) But the final fight against Sephiroth, or at least, a clone wearing Sephiroth’s face, felt premature, out of place, something that’s only there to appease people who wanted to fight Sephiroth now. 

Aside from the Sephiroth thing, I’m reserving judgment a bit on the ending as a whole. On the one hand, I’m deeply curious to see where the story goes from here, and how the writers use their newfound freedom (more on that in a minute). On the other hand, I don’t want this to turn into Kingdom Hearts 4, and I don’t trust Nomura in that regard, especially after all the bullshit that went on with KH3, Verum Rex, and FFXV/versus 13. I love Nomura, but like George Lucas, he desperately needs someone to rein in, edit, and shape his ideas.

I’m also not sure how I feel about all the theories being thrown out there - such as that at least one of the Sephiroths we see is the one from after AC, somehow flung back in time to fuck things up; or that the OG was, 999-style, Aerith seeing into the future and now in the remake she’s taking control to put everything on the path she wants. They’re interesting, for sure, and I think that with careful handling, it’s possible Squenix might be able to pull one of them off - but given what I know of Squenix (again, more on that later), I don’t trust them to do it well. I am, to be blunt, very concerned that later installments of the remake are going to turn into an incoherent tug-of-war between those who want to be faithful to the original, and Nomura’s desire to inject weird Kingdom Hearts nonsense everywhere. 

I say this with all the love to Kingdom Hearts, but it’s a very specific kind of story and it’s not what I want to see in my FFVII.

On a writing meta level

On the meta level, I’m fascinated by the choice to go with the whole Whispers/Arbiters of Fate thing. I don’t know how much of that is pure Nomura-injected BS vs how much was a deliberate choice by the writing team, but for right now I’m going to assume it was mostly a deliberate and unanimous choice. 

I’ve seen a lot of other Remake opinions along the lines of a reluctant, “I guess they had to put the Whispers in there because a perfect remake wouldn’t have been satisfying to everyone. There’s always someone who would have complained.” I... don’t think that’s entirely true. Like, yeah, sure, someone’s always going to complain if it’s not a pixel-perfect remake, but based on the overall satisfaction I’ve seen from OG fans (including myself) regarding the parts that are true to the original, I think Squenix would have done just fine if that was the path they chose. And given how much attention they paid to making most of the game into a nearly-perfect recreation, I think the writers knew it. 

So why’d they go the whole Whispers route? 

My guess would be that the writers were giving themselves freedom, on a meta level, with the Whispers. It’s a way of both poking fun at, and solving, their own dilemma: do we make a perfect, hi-res copy of the original? Or do we change things to make it our own? 

The “change something to make it your own” is a longstanding trope when someone new is put in charge of something old. You see it in everything from Disney live-action remakes to new managers who change their employees’ routines just to “make an impact”. Most of the time, these changes are neutral / un-impactful at best, or outright frustrating / terrible at worst. I wonder if the Remake writing team wasn’t fully aware of this, and possibly tangled up in knots internally about how to handle it. Would it be seen as a bad, “make it their own” change to have Tseng not slap Aerith? What about adding Chocobo Sam, Madam M, and Andrea Rhodea to the Wall Market sequence? What about the changes to how the Avalanche gang reacts to Cloud, now that we have full animation and voice acting and it’s clear Avalanche has no reason to want to keep him around except for Jessie being horny on main? Where’s the line? 

I could see the Whispers being the writing team’s way of making sure they stay in line where it’s important, while also giving themselves the freedom to make the updates needed to allow the remake to work. They’re kind of a meta nod to the audience, a “don’t worry! If we get too far out of line, the Whispers will bring us back.” In that sense, the entire ending where you (the player) kill the Whispers and free yourself (the player) from destiny is you giving the writers permission to continue making those small changes. 

In FFXV, almost the entire ending sequence is a cutscene: Noctis on the throne, being murdered by his ancestors and descending into the spirit realm. But there’s one single quick-time event in there, one point where the player has to take action and push a button. It’s not even difficult, and on the surface it seems pointless. Except, if you don’t, Noctis lives. (Trapped in purgatory maybe, but he’s still there.) If you never push that button, Noctis doesn’t sacrifice his spirit and those of the Lucii to destroy Ardyn and wipe the Scourge from Eos. By asking - requiring - the player to push that button to commit that final act, the game makes the player complicit in Noct’s sacrifice. It’s a powerful moment, and similar to what (I suspect) the Remake writers intended with the Whispers. 

Because they could have left the Whispers in forever. They could have had them be a continuous presence throughout all episodes of the Remake, a little reminder that no matter what tweaks the writers might make to update the story, to “make it their own”, the Arbiters of Fate will ensure things are on track. That things will play out exactly as in the original. But by asking the player to destroy the Arbiters, the writers are asking for the player’s permission to make changes. And by killing the Arbiters, you’re granting it. Because, just like you can keep Noctis alive by not pushing the button when prompted, you can keep the original game more-or-less on track by never stepping through that portal, never killing the Arbiters. But if you do step through that portal and go through with it, you’re agreeing to accept that things might change, thus freeing the writers from the constant double jeopardy of changing things vs keeping them exactly the same. 

On a business meta level

As cool as (I think) that all sounds, the bigger question is, can Square Enix actually pull it off? And here’s where I start to have my most significant doubts. After the FFvs13/FFXV debacle and the hopeless mess that was KH3, I do not trust Nomura to tell a coherent story, even if it’s supposedly a retelling of an existing, well-known story. I don’t know anything about the inner workings or politics at Square Enix, other than that there are politics at play, so in fairness to him I can’t really say it’s because he himself is bad at telling a story, or just doesn’t have the support he needs to convey his vision well. But that gets into other issues with Squenix. We know their last several major games have had long and troubled developments. Someone way more attuned than me to the Japanese video games industry can talk in depth about why; all I know is that it happened (is happening?) and that it’s something of a miracle the remake came out as well as it did. 

On top of that, I’m a bit concerned that even if Squenix can get (and keep) its shit together, it might be up against external forces that constrain how it can tell the story of FFVII in the present. For example, from what I’ve heard, the reason Crisis Core never got ported the way so many other games did, and the reason Genesis Rhapsodos has never been seen outside it and a Dirge of Cerberus cameo, is due to image licensing fights with Gackt, Genesis’s face model. CC established Genesis as a key player in the events leading up to the original game’s story, and enough hints have been dropped about CC in the remake that, like I said earlier, it appears to be canon. But if Squenix can’t reach an agreement to use the character again, they might be trapped in a corner where they either have to completely rewrite the parts of the story involving Genesis, or dance around his existence. 

And on top of all that, it’s just expensive and time-consuming as hell to make games on the remake’s scale. Everyone expects the PS4 to be retired by the time Remake Part 2 comes out, which is going to pose huge logistical issues for releasing it. Squenix has been having a rough time of it lately, from what I’ve heard - are they, as a company, capable of handling all those logistical issues? I don’t know, and that makes me nervous. 

Still, they did do a remarkable job with the remake overall, even grappling with the pandemic around the launch date. So maybe they’re getting their shit together again, and things will be smooth sailing from here. We’ll have to wait and see. 

[somxus]

PARALLEL THEORY.

I just wanted to repost this because it is important even though it is in my about page. Both in my actual page and the pop up in my blog about my portrayal and the parallel theory connecting to how versus Noctis plays a role to my Noctis. Just wanted to have it here now.

I’m not saying anyone has to read it for a had rewrote a lot of stuff, but it just makes me feel better I fixed it up cause before it felt like a mess haha. But if anyone is interested or wishes to understand my Noct better have a read, although I know it isn’t much♥

PARALLEL THEORY. This was made possible because me and a great friend of mind have come up with it and I have implemented it to the way I write Noct, I just never got around to saying it. So again, I have updated my about page, but as for this other part, I want to place it hear cause it’s very important to my portrayal. Basically, from inspiration, Noctis has had a passed life(versus xii Noct) and then was reincarnated(XV Noct) And it ties into a lot of the struggles my Noct has now and why things are the way they are. I hope that’s not confusing ;o; if interested, read below♥ Or you can head to my ABOUT PAGE if you wish to read all in which I added, the parallel theory included there to♥

Here is where I will talk about the parallel theory that I have now that I have went into about my default rp style for Noct. Now, onto his past life that ties in with the Noct we know now. Hope I won’t confuse anyone. The Noct we know now, is the King of Kings, but before that, he lived a past life, a very dark one at that. Again, this is based on the story/leaks of versus xiii

From the day Noctis was born, he was said to be the calamity. On the day celebrating that a new heir was to be born soon, Chaos made his way down to tell this tale. In front of the people, and in front of Regis and Alexandria, Noctis’ parents, saying that their son was to be the calamity and that he was to cause destruction to the world. Despite the warnings, Alexandria gave birth to Noctis, in doing so, it killed her. Regis took it in himself to protect his little one, reaching out to Lady Etro and seeking out her protection. She vowed she would look after Noctis, for this life, and the next. The people were’t to happy with the King. Saying he should have his son killed for keeping such darkness alive. Regis didn’t care what anyone else said, Noctis was his pride and joy, he would let no one take him.

Noctis had went through similar things as XV Noct, but more of his life can be read on my page about the versus xiii verse. What is important to know, is that versus xiii Noct, grew up to be a, unique boy. He was very quiet, and always said things that seemed a bit, off, but in the end, he was a gentle soul who wished nothing more than for peace. He eventually met a girl named Lunafreya/Stella, who changed his life forever. She was the one person that could understand him above all others.

On the day of the invasion, Noctis was there, and everything was taken from him. It tore him apart, but what really broke him, was seeing his father murdered, right in front of his eyes. Having someone so special from him taken away, changed Noctis forever. That day, something in him snapped. Noctis became more cold, more murderous, eventually developing a serious mental disorder. Psychopathy. To sum it up, he committed many sins. Killing innocent/abusing innocent people, treating others coldly, including his loved ones, unspeakable things that he could never forgive himself for. In the end, he gave himself to Chaos. His accession, for Chaos’ power. When it came to defeating Ardyn, Noctis was set to rot in hell, for he could not ascend, but he then made a deal. Offering to take Etro’s place. For rotting in the void, taking care of the souls of the dead, was a far worse punishment, and in his eyes, he knew that was fair.

A thousand years rotting in the void, Bahamut made a deal with Noctis, to give him another chance, for he had a job to finish. He didn’t destroy Ardyn’s soul, so he was able to return to Eos. Noctis’ accepted, but he didn’t know what this God really intended. Instead of letting this Noctis return, he used a part of his soul to reincarnate a new one, letting him leave a whole new life, even though his destiny was preordained. Noctis, who rotted in the void, was furious and was not happy about this decision at all, not wishing for some other ‘Noctis’ to live his life.

For years he would watch him, and even taunt his other self, hoping for him to one day remember the memories of the past. Eventually the other Noctis did remember, the day he put on the ring. He remembered all the horrible things he had done, and all the feelings of regret came back to him, but even still, this Noctis was not like the one from the past. Though they were one in the same, Noctis was not about to give in to the darkness for he was different now. He was the King of light. When he was inside the crystal, he confronted his other self, fighting with him. In doing so he promised he would bring back the dawn, and thus allowing him to ascend. Eventually he agreed and everything started to make sense for Noctis.

Why sometimes his nightmares seemed like memories, why he thought he was being tormented by his own face, it was all real, just now, he understood. When it came 10 years later to sit on the throne, Noctis knew part of his death was a punishment for his sins, he accepted that. In the afterlife, Noctis and his past self both ascended into heaven and everything was put at rest. Though guilt would remain within him always, finally what had to be done was done. Both Noctis’ could rest in peace, and Ardyn was rid of the world and Eos was at peace.

I really hope this wasn’t confusing, sorry I’m all of the place. There is much more to be said of course, but I am just glad to have it all written down. Now maybe people will understand more why I write versus Noct the way I do and why XV Noct has much more guilt then people know. Again, basically this theory is that, versus xiii Noctis was his first life, then part of his soul was used to reincarnate another Noctis, which is XV Noct. Good? I hope so :”D If anyone ever has questions please feel free to ask. More things will probably be clear when you see it in rps and again in my VERSUS XIII VERSE ABOUT PAGE(will be added soon). Thank you for reading.

[silverook]

HEADCANON ! Episode Prompto & Episode Ardyn spoilers ahead !

I wanted to play around with the versus / early release of prompto’s personality without completely rewriting him as well as find / come up with an explanation for the random times through the game that his eyes appear to be a purple hue instead of the usual blue.

** early on prompto was released a little bit rougher / dangerous / confident.

So after episode prompto ( as we all fucking know ) i refuse to let go of the trauma that he logically would have / square was too much of a coward to give us / the english version pretended didn’t happen. 

Despite how he was raised ( which i have another problem with but we will save that for another day ) violence, insanity, and anger are generally product of environment these traits can also be passed down from genetics. And if you’ve paid any sort of attention -  verstael is fucking nuts so it would make sense for his bloodline ( or clone line ) to exert signs of these traits despite what they were being created for - which makes sense considering they were getting the job done.

So! While Prompts is ultimately a product of his childhood - there are certain poisons in this blood / brain chemistry that I feel may need to be addressed including but not limited to: 

the trauma that comes from episode prompto

the murder of verstael ( who in the jp version he does show interest in knowing what verstael is like and does refer to him as ‘father’ at one point - while i refuse to acknowledge verstael as his father he technically is labeled as such )

finding out what & who he is

being pushed off a train by your best friend love of your life only to be mentally tortured on multiple accounts of him trying to kill you in the following weeks.

continuously fighting / killing clones of himself on a day to day basis ( as well as there are select times the guys say something about how easy it is to kill / take out the soldiers )

the msq rescue during his torture

the bitter and awkward seeming moment between he and Noct in the credits scene ( which is something else i plan to touch on one day bc i’m sure i interpreted it different than most )

The human mind / body can only handle so much before shutting down and kicking into a feral fight or flight mode. I have not timelined it bc it’s purely going to be this blog’s headcanon choice but I firmly believe realistically Prompts would possibly face a mental break during and/or after these events. 

Now we are going to circle back to my earlier ramblings about the violence in his genetic makeup. While i’m not going to have him attacking anyone and these little bursts will be short and usually hardly noticeable, there will be a bitter resentment. Like a slow burn, sarcastic, bitter, possibly a bit manipulative. He wouldn’t lash out against the guys but might go a little harder in battle. Might get in a few more hits than needed on an enemy. The best way to describe this is when a character’s very aura / essence just turns dangerous even if they aren’t moving / speaking. 

Moments like these are going to be when the miasma in his genetics take hold  and his eyes will flash to a purple color temporarily, each time an episode happens the hue lasts a bit longer - minutes - an hour  - a few hours - a day - a week - a few weeks - permanent. 

( Miasma explanation and science shit here ! Appellation of organisms infected by a mutant strain of Plasmodium malariae. Once introduced to a body, the photophobic parasites exert full control, rapidly distorting physiology and manipulating behavior so as to render their hosts' original forms virtually indiscernible while also dispersing a light-absorbing miasma. )

The easiest way to notice this would either be his eyes, sudden stillness / quiet in battle or times that he normally would be animated, and the combination of a glare and a smirk, sudden cockiness in dangerous situations.

Eventually he gets a hold on this dark anger in his personality / genetics and learns to live with it / himself. It doesn’t become an issue within the group but rather just another piece of him. The outbursts are rare - especially as time goes on.

[beefgnawpolis]

PS4 shit I’ve been playing lately

I do still need and want Episode Ardyn but I’m kind of FFXV’d out for right now, also I have this PSVR stuff that needed played with.

"Beefgnaw, does the VR make you barf, what about your glasses does it work with glasses?”

FUNNY THING ABOUT THE MOTION SICKNESS ISSUE. Games where you-the-player-avatar do not move, or don’t move much, but you’re free to turn your head and look around 360 degrees don’t bother me at all. Like, I can play Beat Saber for hours, because your avatar is standing still and the blocks are coming at you. Games where you sort of teleport from one point to the next are okay, or if you’re like... climbing a ladder or something, that doesn’t bother me. Games where you can walk but like... on rails? Mostly okay.

The problems start when you-the-player-avatar can walk around freely (looking at you, Rec Room), or if your view is on rails and you can’t look around by turning your head, or--the big one--if you-the-player-avatar are riding in a car (looking at you, Blood and Truth). That first one is an even bigger problem if the game expects you to play while standing (again, looking at you, Rec Room). If my character is walking and I’m standing still that throws all kinds of fun error messages in my brain and by “fun” I mean “not fun at all.”

(Blood and Truth has a good enough story and A++++ voice acting that I’m willing to soldier through it and also the part where you can DJ WHILE YOU’RE HAVING A SHOOTOUT WITH BAD GUYS is, by itself, worth the price of admission and possible motion sickness from the car bits.)

As for the glasses thing: not really a problem. Your mileage may vary depending on your prescription and frames but... I’m not having any trouble with it, so take that as you will.

Anyway, this weekend I finally got around to playing all the demos on the demo disc that came with my PSVR shite. There are a few gems on there, some of which I did not expect to like as much as I did...

Moss is one I started up and pretty much immediately fell in love with and ran straight to the PS Store to buy. God fuck hell yes please let me be a gentle giant helping a tiny mouse find her missing uncle for just a little while. (aside: call me an old fart but I still prefer to buy my games in a format I can hold, however this whole thing where I can feed my console without having to deal with... public places *shudder* or even putting on pants is starting to grow on me). 

Thumper: Simple controls. Very Rez-like. Didn’t give me motion sickness issues; you’re in a little beetle ship thing on a track, but there’s not a lot of shit moving around in the background so it’s not bad. Wishlisted.

Headmaster: And here’s the one I did not expect to love but could see getting super hooked on. The premise: you are a football (soccer for ‘murrcans) player whose club has sent you to a remedial heading training facility because, I guess, you suck at hitting balls with your head. You don’t need any controllers. Just the headset and camera. Things launch balls at you. You hit them with your head. That’s it. That’s the game. But it’s one of those Very British Humour Games and I legit cackled out loud multiple times. Wishlisted.

Superhot VR: Another one I did not expect to love but could see getting hooked on. Player avatar doesn’t move around, enemies come to you. Enemies only move when you move. Enemies shatter like glass when you punch, shoot, or throw things at them. Very satisfying.

I wanted to like Job Simulator. It’s one of those that makes you stand up and... no thank you. Astro Bot Rescue was cute, but not really my kind of game. The Persistence... I wanted to like it. It had kind of SOMA-esque vibes and I wanted to give it a chance, but the controls and camera are awful. Kitchen... ah. ok. it’s a Resident Evil trailer. murder zombie in my face in VR. no. no, thank you.

In the non-VR department, I played a couple of PS Plus offerings: Erica and Fall Guys.

Erica is not so much an actual game as a movie with input. A pretty well-acted and well-produced one, too. I could see paying money for it. There is an app that lets you use your phone as a controller, I played with that and have no complaints. It does have a pretty fair amount of potentially triggery content, particularly gory bits and abuse so be aware of that.

On the absolute opposite end of the spectrum, we have Fall Guys. It’s pretty much a multiplayer Wipeout-like game show, where the contestants are all little chubby bean people. You can win or buy funny costumes for your little bean person. You can sabotage your opponents by hugging them. Some of the games are obstacle races, some are survival games where you just have to not fall into the goop, there’s at least one logic game, there are some team games. You WILL come this close to qualifying for the next round and get eliminated at the last second and you WILL yell at your TV about what bullshit it is that you just barely got beaten and you will be laughing your ass off while you do it. The servers seem to be a little flaky sometimes, but that may just be due to the shitloads of new PS Plus players this month. 

And finally... while I was slam-dunking Moss into my cart yesterday I noticed that the Whole-Ass Kingdom Hearts Series Bundle was on sale for $30. Shit. 

I now own the whole-ass Kingdom Hearts series.

I have not played a Kingdom Hearts game since 1. I haven’t played that in at least 15 years. And of course y’all know KH is one of those series where missing one game is like missing one episode of LOST, you pick up the next one and WTF EVEN IS HAPPENING HERE WHERE ARE WE WHO IS THIS WHAT HAPPEN. And since, you know, Squeenixney had to spew KH games across EVERY POSSIBLE PLATFORM, some of which I did not own... yeah.

So I figured I’d better start with 1.5 and sure I remember the overarching plot and the Traverse Town music and paopu fruit and shit but as for like, how to solve any given puzzle...

It’s like playing for the first time all over again! gawd.

Anyway I have ALL THE KINGDOM HEARTS so I can finally see for myself just how far off the rails this series goes!

[saanphoenix]

Things I think some people missed:

Ardyn and Somnus have been doing their 'calling' to rid the world of the Scourge for A While before the anime starts, and the gods still have not chosen one to be king.

Despite having not been named king, Somnus has already begun smearing Ardyn's name in the eye of the people. He is actively hunting him down to bring him back to the...old-school citadel??

Ardyn, knowing he's infected and just what his brother does to those he even SUSPECTS of being infected, rightfully stays the fuck away from Somnus and keeps healing people.

Aera has to sneak out of the citadel to see Ardyn, and this puts her at risk as well as the servants who helped her do it. Her situation is exactly like Luna's will be later.

It's heavily implied Somnus had her followed to find Ardyn. When he gives them the slip, Somnus is like, "Well, if he'd have come willingly, he coulda been together with his beloved, but now? Huehuehue."

Gilgamesh kills people who he finds too weak to serve the King; I don't doubt why he chooses Somnus' side in this political chessmatch.

Somnus only cares about the throne and nothing else. Why? Well, even ignoring what he's doing to Ardyn to ruin his shot at it, he also barges into a sacred ritual of the ORACLE'S to ask what the answer was. He just can't wait to be king. And, bless her heart, Aera tells him. Whoops.

Ardyn was the chosen king, the "Crystal" itself tells us this in Episode: Ignis. Aera, who clearly dislikes Somnus going by her reaction to him barging into the ritual, tells Somnus Ardyn will be king, trusting him to Not Be A Little Shit.

Somnus, knowing this, tricks Ardyn into coming back to the citadel so he CAN KILL HIM. The only way to take the throne now is remove Ardyn from the picture.

He claims Ardyn is the traitor trying to take HIS throne, and Ardyn falls for the bait by objecting. Because now Somnus has a social excuse to take Ardyn out. Remember, he's charismatic. He's socially aware enough to know that a lot of people love and trust Ardyn. But that's not going to matter if he shows the crowd Ardyn being a traitor for trying to take the god-given throne from him.

Aera, the only person who knows Somnus is Being A Shit, is silenced by Gilgamesh. Mr. I Slaughter All I Deem Unworthy Even If They're 15-years-old Gilgamesh. Yeah, there's a good reason she doesn't say anything more than, "What?!" when Somnus makes his move.

Somnus might not have intended to kill Aera, but he calls THE ORACLE he just MURDERED a "foolish woman." He cares about her as much as he cares about the people he lit on fire For Teh Gr8er Gud. Long live the king.

The Crystal may reject Ardyn, thus Lucis is inherited by Somnus, but it does NOT choose Somnus. The gods entrust its care to him and his family because the Lucis Caelum line will birth another Chosen King...eventually. Somnus may be able to use its power as Regis does, but he's not pure of heart. He isn't given the Noctis treatment. Because he's nothing like Ardyn was, and he's nothing like Noctis will be.

Somnus probably sounds remorseful because 2000 years is a long time to spend bound to the Ring of the Lucii, forbidden from the afterlife until the Chosen King--y'know, the title your brother had until you killed him and then chained him in prison for, like, ever and struck his name from history just to piss on his grave--comes to free the world from all of the suffering you couldn't end because YOU weren't worthy of true Kinglyness. Like, 2000 years of, "Okay. Maybe I was a bit of an asshole and didn't actually know more than the gods and now the monster I created is toasting a bunch of innocent people like I used to do and... Noctis, be a dear for your ol' grandpappy x112 and put him out of his misery. Kthx."

...Then again, he still sounds like a dick in Kingsglaive so pfft.

[charlottedabookworm]

@hamelin-born submitted:

I was reading Catherynne Valente’s novel Deathless earlier, and somehow it combined in my head with your recent world build about time traveled!Somnus meeting ex-Somnusson!Nyx, and. Well. 

Somehow, it spawned this ficbit.

***

Nyx was half-turned towards the door when the Mystic’s snarling demand broke across him. He does not move as he looks back at Somnus and his eyes - oh his eyes. His eyes are politely quizzical, his eyes are flat mirrors reflecting everything and revealing nothing - his eyes are those of a man who looks upon a stranger as the stranger demands his unquestioning obedience. 

That same easy detachment is echoed in the glaive’s almost-relaxed posture as he seems to debate with himself for a timeless moment before shrugging minutely. He turns to face the once-King of Lucis more fully, expression the same empty politeness offered to the random passer-by one might meet on a street. 

“You are not my father.” Nyx tells the man, tells Somnus, almost gently. He speaks with the air of one attempting to make a plainly obvious fact even more so - to offer some tidbit of enlightenment as a gift, to helpfully resolve a situation as a good turn for some person he has never met before and shall never meet once again. Because he is a good person, and because, after all these years of therapy and fear and nightmares that stalked his dreams until they came to his hand and submitted meekly to the brindle, Nyx sees that the monster is just a man. 

No less monstrous for that (perhaps even moreso), but a man. 

“I went to the standing stones as the lightning lashed the sky alive with shifting veins of light.” Nyx tells the man plainly, voice - a little frustrated at the other’s obstinacy in the face of simple fact. “When the clouds crested the sky, so that all the world was drowned in darkness and Eos gave her domain into the hands of her queenly sister. Grim Etro stood watch, and the Storm of Nightmares laid his hand upon my shoulder as I took the knife in hand.”

“I bled.” Nyx’s voice is plain. “I stood on the stones as I bled, and I turned my face up towards the darkness, towards the lightning, and I did not ask. I made no demands. I offered no promises. I simply stood, and I laid my hopes on the air and the darkness as a worshipper lays his offerings on the altar, and I sang to the storm as I felt the thunder echo in me.”

“And the lightning took me.” Nyx smiles slightly to himself. “They say there is no pain, when the clouds parts and the Fulgarian reaches for you. They lie.”

“I have suffered many pains in my life. Many sundered agonies. But in all my life, there has never been a pain like that, as the lightning took me and surged through my blood, and burned you away.”

“You are not my father.” Nyx continues calmly. “You may have sired me, but you are not my father. For the lightning burned me clean - it burned away your blood, your heritage, every sign that you had even existed within me. The storm sang me clean; the dark bore witness. And I had no father.”

“And I would have died there, for a man cannot be without a father. Cannot be sundered in twain, with half of what makes him up burned away.”

“Except.” And Nyx’s face lit with a soft, almost bewildered smile.

“Except he poured his blood into my veins. Except he breathed his breath into my lungs. Except he stitched my soul whole with his own spirit, until I was no longer a half. Until blood and breath and bone bore testament, and everything that came from my mother mingled with everything that came from him, and he was my father. Such that no genetic test will ever say otherwise. Such that no scourge of the soul can ever indicate that things were once different.”

“The Light that Burns, the Sage, Beloved of the Dawn, the King of Night, Accursed and Acclaimed, is my father. The sky saw it. The dark witnessed it. Etro and Ramuh stood by us; he is my father, and I am his son.”

Nyx’s eyes are blue chased with gold - like a sunrise, when the air is cold and thin and every breath is a burst of ecstatic surprise. Like dusk, when the tired sun slips gratefully behind the horizon, and the blue sky is bright and clear and lit by its radiant shadow. 

They are mild and detached and Somnus accounts for precisely nothing in said gaze as Nyx blinks slowly at the startled onlookers before turned once more towards the door. 

oh wow hamelin this is so good

i love it, i love the descriptions of the ritual that Nyx used, that he was willing to die just to burn Somnus out of him, that it was Ardyn (Ardyn who Somnus murdered, just like he murdered Nyx, Ardyn who was Somnus’ brother, who Somnus named Accursed and Monster for all to hear), i love the bit about Nyx’s eyes and the gold of his magic (and oh, how that must burn Somnus, how he must believe that it was caused by the adoption ritual instead of by his own actions)

I just- i love it

and everyone - everyone but Somnus who still can’t bring himself to believe, who still doesn’t understand why - is so confused and startled

startled because this goes against all they know; it’s written that Somnus’ first son died young, in battle, and then here is Nyx who is alive, millennia later, alive and cursed and denying that this ‘great king’ is his father

alive and cursed and his hands steady as he calls this king kinslayer and childkiller and betrayer

alive and cursed and his voice even and his smile sharp as he looks his once-father in the eyes and tells him that he killed him for nothing

alive and cursed and uncaring as he speaks the steps he’d taken to rid himself of Somnus Lucis Caelum

and confused because the ritual nyx and ardyn used - it was ancient when they were young, long forgotten to time by this point. it’s ancient and forgotten and no one alive knew it was possible. no one but nyx and ardyn

no one but somnus, who needs but a thought to remember the stories and rituals his own mother taught him

anyway i love it so much!

[secret-engima]

I present, in the Little Nox Dissidia: Little Nox is understandably distressed at being in this place again, as a toddler. Noctis would like to register a complaint, as he carefully balanced a baby LC on his hip, this is not how he wanted to discover a long awaited baby brother. SWORD, big sword, why sword, HELP! Ardyn comes down like the wrath of the Astrals manifest to rescue his nephew(s), & Crystal-o-Vision is how the Citadel discovers they have a few LC extra wandering around.

hgfdhgfd YES. Let’s just- let’s just ignore the usual Little Nox age gap and say that Noctis is 17-ish when Nox is like- 5 for this particular Dissidia blurb. Just for the lols.

-Little Nox is ... AWARE that he knows this place. In a dreamlike sort of way, and he knows it is Not Good that he is here. Let’s pretend, for the sake of Drama™, that Nox shows up with like- Materia’s Champions rather than Spiritus’s this once, and Cloud is honestly a very quiet Die™ when he stumbles on this ACTUAL SMOL CHILD staring out at the desert with a wobbling lip and big eyes.

-Cloud awkwardly hauls the kiddo to Materia’s tower and nearly gets the life scared out of him halfway there when Nox starts throwing a mini-tantrum that involves Armiger (that’s a lot of swords that’s TOO MANY SWORDS-). Luckily for Cloud, Nox is not really a tantrum kind of child so it quickly trails off to miserable sniffling.

-Even so, with that display of magic in mind, when Cloud spots Noctis, who looks so similar to the child Cloud is awkwardly holding and also has the blue sparkle magic, Cloud is all too relieved to speed walk over there and plop Nox into a stunned Noctis’s arms with a gruff, “Found your baby brother outside,” and then speed walk off, leaving Noctis to stare in shock-horror-WHAT at the mini him in his arms who is already relaxing into his grip and tangling young magic with Noctis’s, making it utterly unmistakable that YES. This smol child is, in fact, related to Noctis.

-Someone help him.

-Noctis ends up propping Nox on his hip for a while and getting cooed over by the female champions while someone kindly rigs him a backpack/sling thing out of a cape (WoL is happy to donate his cape to the Baby Cause and all the Champions are an Outrage that there is a CHILD HERE. Not like Onion Knight, who knows a sword and is at least 12, but a FIVE YEAR OLD, Materia is apologetic and confused, because she could have sworn she only summoned old souls that knew combat).

-Ardyn, meanwhile, is a Rampage. He quickly scares the living daylights out of 80% of the crazies under Spiritus’s command and recruits a bemused Sephiroth to the Hunt For Darling Nephew (because Ardyn isn’t optimistic enough to believe Nox is still safe and sound in the hotel room they’d been in moments ago) and even Spiritus is wide-eyed at how Feral this new Champion is.

-Noctis does Not want to go out there and fight things with a newly discovered baby brother on his back, but he also wants to get home asap with said baby brother, so he tentatively leaves the tower with a hovering group of Champions trailing around him (which include Lightning, WoL, Cecil, Y’Shtola, and Cloud Nox-keeps-crying-when-I-leave-his-sight-someone-help-me Strife).

-Naturally, a group of Champions that large gather attention and they get attacked.

-Noctis is doing pretty good holding his own, especially since the other Champions are working hard to keep the enemy AWAY FROM THE SMOL CHILD, when one of the Big Guys (what’s his name- Golbez? Exdeath? WoL’s rival) breaks through the line and goes after Noctis as “the weak link”.

-Noctis can barely start to raise his sword when there’s a shockwave of magic so thick and murderous it sense everyone but him to their knees. There’s a flare of red magic and the snap-crack of a warp and suddenly there’s a Murder Hobo in their midst, tearing apart Spiritus’s champions with bared teeth and blood red magic running down his face in a parody of his old Scourge Face.

-Materia’s Champions can only watch as this new coming shreds the opposition like paper and sends them packing, then stands there breathing lightly with a red armiger spinning dangerously around him.

-The wary silence is broken by Nox leaning as far as he can past Noctis’s shoulder, reaching toward the Murder Hobo with a soft, relieved pulse of magic and a little cry of “Uncle!”

-UNCLE? Noctis thinks frantically as the man turns around and stares with that horrible red mask of magic. A blink and the mask is gone and the man is stalking forward, swords tucked away in armiger as he reaches for Nox with a relieved, “Nephew!”

-What.

-What is going on.

-“Ummmm,” says Noctis, shifting a bit to keep Nox out of the man’s grip. The man just blinks at him, then smiles, “Ah, you must be my OTHER nephew!” He doffs his hat and bows, “Ardyn Izunia, at your service. Now if you don’t mind,” He straightens up with a smile that means Death, “Give me back the nephew I’ve been raising since he was a toddler.”

-Not an idiot, Noctis hands Nox over. He can feel Ardyn’s magic swirling around them anyway, all but screaming protective and loving instincts. This man, for all he’s scary and very dangerous, is no threat to Noctis’s baby brother. He’s also Noctis’s uncle? Apparently? Has to be with that magic and his age.

-Noctis is Very Confused, but kinda relieved to have a Murder Hobo Uncle on his side during this insanity.

-Meanwhile, the Chocobros 1.0 who are watching via crystal-o-vision (XD) are all just- this does not compute. This DOES NOT COMPUTE. That is another SON when Regis is certain he did not HAVE another son (a son that looks just like Noctis at that age, eerily so) and now- now the CHANCELLOR OF NIFLHEIM stands before his sons with magic of his own swirling around them and calls little Nox his NEPHEW. That he’s been RAISING.

-It’s Cor who breaks the silence, Cor who remembers the little blond boy he rescued from a lab and puts the pieces together as best he knows how, leaping to the only conclusion that makes SENSE.

-“He’s a clone.”

-And Regis’s world crashes down around his ears.

-All this time ... all this time he’s had a brother, had FAMILY and now he finds that not only is Niflheim’s chancellor his brother but that Niflheim has taken his son’s blood and MADE A CHILD with it.

-Regis is so furious he can barely breathe.

-The Chocobros 1.0 (plus Titus who is an Internal Die™ when he sees what’s happening) watch the Dissidia adventure with bated breath, watch Ardyn fall into Noctis’s orbit as easily as breathing, DOTING on the enemy prince with a whimsy that spoke of menace but with eyes so soft and calm, with magic that makes Noctis’s shoulders ease without thinking, that all Regis can see is a man who loves his nephews more than anything in the world.

-And they listen, too, as Ardyn tells his story (his cover story, anyway) about running away from the Empire with the little clone boy he found, about how Ardyn himself had been tortured by “Regis’s predecessor” (this only spoken of after a nasty fire spell ruins his shirts and reveals his scars).

-By the time they are all sent back, Noctis showing up in the Citadel and Ardyn and Nox back in their hotel far away, Regis and Co are fully on the warpath and ready to bring the wayward LCs safe home.

[autumnstwilight]

Dawn of the Future summary-Noctis (Part 1 of 2)

time to see what our boy has apparently been up to in the crystal

-The section opens with Noctis fighting shadows outside the Citadel building, feeling there is something strange. He’s alone, and the scenery is colorless. Ghostly figures in golden armor appear and begin shooting at him, they don’t resemble Niflheim soldiers. He suddenly realizes that Ignis, Gladio and Prompto should be there but aren’t. -He enters the Citadel, but feels that it isn’t the Citadel he knows. The throne is illuminated in blue and he sits. He hears a voice saying This isn’t mine, yet it belongs to no one else, and senses an inhuman presence. Noctis realizes he is dreaming, and Bahamut speaks. “You are within the Crystal, where the soul of the Star dwells. A place for you to gain your power to become the True King. Receive the memories engraved in the Crystal, and fulfill your calling” -Noctis recalls the events in Gralea and Zegnautus Keep, leaving his friends behind to run for the Crystal, being sucked in, and Ardyn introducing himself. He sees a vision of the Crystal being brought to Eos and the skies becoming blue and the land turning green. A hall being built to hold the Crystal, and the population increasing. Ardyn and Somnus’ parents giving them the paired Rakshasa and Yaksha blades in the hope that they would rule together, then the brother’s conflict after their parents death… all of the memories in the Crystal from the beginning. -He sees the memories of Ardyn with Aera, and feels some sympathy, but also that Ardyn’s murder of Luna, for the sake of hurting him, is still unforgivable no matter what good things he did in the past. He then wonders if he is also unforgivable, as forming covenants with the Gods for his sake would have killed her shortly anyway, and sacrificing people for the sake of the kingdom is Somnus’ way of thinking. -He sees Ardyn’s imprisonment, and also Somnus’ establishment of the kingdom and the many kings who came after him, some even crueler, and some too kind. He also sees the establishment of Tenebrae, Niflheim and Accordo, and realizes people are all the same. Ardyn is released by Niflheim, Regis is chosen as one of the Kings of Yore and receives the prophecy, holding a young Noctis in his arms. -Noctis thinks that if Ardyn had not been released around that time, he would have been just another in the line of Lucis. He wouldn’t have been attacked by a daemon, or gone to Tenebrae and met Luna. His relationship with Gladio and Ignis would have been different. Verstael wouldn’t have succeeded with the MTs and thus Prompto wouldn’t exist. Fenestala Manor wouldn’t have been attacked, and Luna and Ravus would have remained there with their mother. And yet, fate is decided by the Gods and there is no other path. -He sees Ignis and Ravus arriving at the altar, Ravus saying that the Oracle’s duty continues after death, and her body vanishing as it does in Episode Ignis. He also sees the memory of Luna forming her first covenant with Shiva, and her escape from Insomnia with the Ring. -He realizes what Luna was going through while he was traveling with his friends enjoying the outside world for the first time - “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t know…” He understands Ravus’ anger now, and feels he was immature and ignorant, not even paying attention to the people who were reaching out to him and supporting him, self-pitying. He recalls Cor and Gladio when they told him to shape up. -He sees Ignis’ sacrifice in Altissia, and realizes Ignis never told him to avoid causing him more pain. He realizes to what extent he was a child, kept safe by everyone, and wonders if he can ever pay it back. -He sees his own future battle with Ardyn, his sacrifice on the throne and his passage into the Beyond, where he disappears. The reality that he must die to save the planet from being consumed by darkness. He grapples with his fate, knowing that it is inescapable, yet being frightened of it, not wanting to lose everything, whether to darkness or to death, wanting to live. -He looks up and sees his father, realizing that his father raised him while knowing his fate, and thus tried to let him live happily, thus sent him off with a smile, and apologizes. Regis says that parents should worry about their children, but children should not have to worry about their parents. “That said, you are not a child anymore…” “A king cannot lead by standing still. A king pushes forward, always, accepting the consequences and never looking back.” -He hands Noctis his sword, saying it is to protect the people and things that he loves, then vanishes when Noctis accepts. -Noctis thinks of the people and things he loves, the people and places he encountered during his journey. More than anything, he doesn’t want to waste Luna’s sacrifice. He wanted to save her more than anything, but if that isn’t possible, he at least wants to preserve proof that she lived. He sits down on the throne, and tells himself to think and choose. He then awakens in Ardyn’s cell in Angelgard. -He meets with Umbra and receives the notebook in which Luna wrote, “I’m safe”, followed by her diary of her travels. He realizes that ten years have passed, and that the Crystal only showed him its memories of up until the day he entered the Crystal. He vows not to lose anyone again like he lost Luna, and tells Umbra that he’ll return the notebook to Luna himself. Her last message says “I’ll wait for you in the Citadel.” -He takes the boat to Galdin, where he meets Sol, who has been checking the area a few times a day for his return. He already knows about her from Luna’s notebook, and says he trusts her. Umbra vanishes, as Sol is there to lead him. Sol receives a call, tells the person she’s with the King, and asks if they want to talk to him, then sighs and hangs up. -The caller was Gladio, who can’t talk because he has a guest [Wait what why did he call then???] But he said to meet in Hammerhead. Noctis asks if the three of them are okay, particularly worried about Ignis, who is still blind, and Prompto, who might have difficulty fighting and aiming in such darkness. Sol tells him that Prompto helps Cindy transport goods, and Ignis says that no one can see much in the dark anyway. Sol says that everyone will be happy to see him. -Sol talks a bit about meeting Luna and how she threw the supplies out of the sidecar of the motorcycle when they first met. She says Luna is bad at card games but incredibly good at five finger fillet (the stab-between-your-own-fingers knife game). Noctis recalls that he used to practice it while Ignis made very unimpressed faces at him. Also Noct started because he saw Ravus doing it. -[they’re all idiots oh my god] -Anyway then Sol says the thing that surprised her most about Luna was her “calling” to fight Ardyn and Noctis is like “WAIT WHAT” -Luna mentioned in the notebook that she was going to the Citadel to talk to Ardyn (which is indeed her current plan), but she never told Noctis that Bahamut had asked her to kill Ardyn. Noctis wonders why Bahamut would have given her such a mission when he has the Ring, which is supposedly the only way to kill Ardyn. He asks Sol, and learns that Luna’s new power is absorbing daemons. Given what he knows about Ardyn’s past, this is concerning. -Sol admits that Luna has become a daemon, and that it’s her fault for asking her to save Aranea. Noctis reassures her that Luna would have helped because it’s the kind of person she is. Noctis tells her to contact Gladio and tell him that he’s going directly to the Citadel to try and save Luna. He realizes that the Gods never grant enough power to save everyone, and if he wants to do that, he’ll have to do it himself. -Meanwhile Luna is not having much success convincing Ardyn to cooperate, he mocks her for thinking he’d work with a puppet of the gods who is supposed to kill him. She says that Bahamut is planning to destroy everything on Eos, and Ardyn says that sounds good to him. He then asks her to leave, since he’s waiting on a different guest. Luna says that Aera Mirus Fleuret asked her to save him, at which Ardyn angrily tells her to shut up. When she pushes the matter, he summons Ifrit. -Noctis drops Sol off at Hammerhead and heads straight for the Citadel [SERIOUSLY? He was right there and didn’t grab the bros first???] He encounters a daemonified King of Yore, who he fights alone, feeling painfully the absence of his friends [who he couldn’t wait two seconds at Hammerhead for, apparently]. He cracks the King’s mask and finds Somnus underneath. -Noctis notices his resemblance to Somnus and how that must make Ardyn feel. Somnus expresses sorrow for his brother, and asks Noctis to save him. Noctis agrees and Somnus thanks him. Noctis questions why the Gods never gave powers like Ardyn’s to Somnus, or anyone else, for that matter. And also why they gave those powers to Luna now. -Meanwhile, Luna is attempting to absorb the Starscourge out of Ifrit, while still arguing with Ardyn. Ardyn maintains that he’s absolutely fine with the world being destroyed, though it would be “perfect” if he could kill Bahamut too. Luna tries to convince him that Bahamut cannot be killed as long as he still exists in the Beyond, and they need to work together, but she is overcome by the pain of fighting Ifrit. -However, she succeeds in freeing the god from the Starscourge and Ifrit turns to attack Ardyn. Luna doesn’t want that fight to happen, so she quickly asks Ifrit to form a covenant with her. At length, Ifrit agrees. -Ardyn claps and says that was an entertaining show. Luna loses consciousness. -Noctis arrives in the Citadel and Ardyn says, “I’m afraid you’re out of luck. You were just a little too late.” Luna has fully transformed into a monster. Noctis demands to know what Ardyn did to her, but Ardyn says that she decided to remove the Infernian’s Starscourge of her own free will. Luna attacks Noctis with her spear while Noctis begs her to recognize him. -A giant sword falls from the sky, and Bahamut voice says that the King’s role has ended. Bahamut granted humans powers to end the Scourge, but they repeated foolish acts and thus he will no longer protect them. Instead, he intends to end life on Eos. That is the new fate that must be accepted. He commands Luna to release her power as queen of the daemons. Luna ascends into mid-air, and releases a blast of energy, destroying the throne room. -Ardyn awakens from being knocked out to see Luna surrounded by what appear to be smaller copies of Bahamut. He realizes Bahamut is readying Teraflare, and also that his existence in both Eos and the Beyond means that he can’t be killed or inflicted with Starscourge. However, if he uses Teraflare and fails, he might be forced back into hibernation (the same way the Gods had to rest after the Great Astral War). -Bahamut raises the Citadel building into the air so that humans can’t reach the Crystal. Ardyn warps up to it, knowing Noctis will also head toward Luna.

[stardust-and-bloodstains]

Rant under cut:

Okay, I just watched this and it made me mad. Let me tell you why:

1. 

This is our introduction to Somnus, The Asshole. When did he become an asshole? Why is he an asshole? The answers are left to you, because no one is going to tell you here. 

Watch as he turns an entire militarised force against regular citizens who are unarmed and ailing. 

Somnus, your people need your help! 

Yeah, no worries, man, I’ll just blindly eradicate every single person who even vaguely suggests any threat of Starscourge!

Somnus, you’re a genius!

2.

Ardyn clearly disapproves. 

Suddenly we have a dynamic that honestly no one prepared us for.

Ardyn also has a dry cough, and that’s bad because anyone with a cough now will probably be rounded up and barbequed before they can even say “urti”.

3.

Keep this in mind, everyone. God-given.

And of course, you’re not gonna show me how charismatic Somnus is, so you’re going to tell me this irrationally blood-thirsty son of a bitch is definitely someone absolutely charming through a bunch of narrative exposition. Gotcha. Thanks.

4.

Oh, Proto-Luna, hi. I wonder what wonderfully deep emotional balance and narrative contribution you’re going to bring to this story? I WONDER WHAT YOUR ROLE IS IN THIS?

5.

The first of many wasted seconds of filler where whoever wrote this simply had zero faith in our ability as an audience to understand what is happening without it having to be spelt out word for fucking word.

6.

I might as well take issue with the way this random Daughter of Farmer is drawn - double Ds with clingy shirts is the flavour of this damn scene, because if she was anything else, then she wouldn’t be worth saving, would she?

7.

Yeah, don’t do what my dickhead brother did to me. Dickhead.

Is it sufficiently clear that Somnus is a Bad Guy yet?

Here’s where we take a moment to look at this - as @thatonedaydream has stated, there’s no good solution to the situation these people have been placed in, and in their own, hamfisted way, the Prologue is trying to make that point. 

The Starscourge seems to have changed in origin throughout the course of the known canon lore of FFXV, and this Prologue leaves us no more enlightened than we were before it. That said, it seems we’re sticking to the idea that the Astrals presented a way of curing the Starscourge, which Ardyn is utilising as prescribed, but that’s resulting in corruption. Somnus, on the other hand, is attempting a complete purge of any signs of Starscourge, but honestly, it’s looking more and more like simple mass murder for all his efforts to keep things under control.

8.

I’m sorry, what? Isn’t being denied the throne your whole schtick the entire game? And yes, I know what’s coming in the next ten minutes, but if you genuinely didn’t care about being king, then why do you adopt being denied it as the summary of your motivations for all your bad deeds in FFXV?

Why is there no consistency to the characterisation of Ardyn? Why is he suddenly being presented as this altruistic, generous and self-sacrificing individual who is willing to face persecution for the sake of others? This gels in no way to the character that he eventually becomes by the time the events of FFXV occur, and stinks of lazy writing hoping to justify eliciting sympathy from a dumb audience by contrasting blatantly “good” traits against a character (Somnus) who is being portrayed as blatantly “evil” just to ensure that Ardyn looks especially sympathetic.

And I hate that so much.

9.

Look, I actually like Aera. For all five seconds of screentime she is granted to give us any indication of her personality, she seems to be a strong-willed, sassy Oracle who does as she likes, despite the rules.

Too bad that doesn’t hold true when she has any possibility at all of influencing the plot.

And guys, does anyone know who Aera is meant to be engaged to? I know something was lost in translation here, but I can’t figure out which brother it is. Not that it matters...

10.

What is even the point of this filler scene? We learn no new information, learn nothing about the characters, their history, the world’s history. If this is meant to foreshadow Ardyn’s fate, then there isn’t much that really couldn’t be said with just the final frame of dialogue where Aera freaks out over a very boring waterfall.

I suppose we’re meant to feel sorry again for Ardyn, who has given up everything and lives like a hobo because the only thing he wants is to be with Aera. Too bad she’s gonna end up in a freezer - 

11.

So someone please tell me what the point of this scene was? Oh no, his cough is back. Oh no, he’s being chased by some of Somnus’ guards. Oh no, he fell. Oh no, it’s raining. Oh, poor Ardyn, he’s got it so rough.

12.

Look at this asshole, assholing all over the place, what an asshole.

13.

And now, ladies and gentleman, that the strong and sassy girl has the opportunity to say something in defence of all that she fights for and believes in, A Mysterious Hand that is Evil (see the pointed tips of the gauntlet for proof) BLOCKS HER FROM DOING SO. OH NO.

14.

I am so fucking. angry. at this stupid scene that I cannot. THINK. 

THERE GOES THE GIRLFRIEND INTO THE FREEZER. 

THANKS FOR RUINING THE PIECE OF MUSICAL GENIUS THAT IS THE THEME OF SOMNUS FOREVER.

15.

Mind fucking you, the whole damn nation is out to see this, and no one does a DAMN THING ABOUT IT.

16.

You’re telling me he had a loyal population of followers and not a single person thought that this was maybe a little bit unfair and decided to form an underground resistance? Oh wait, Big Evil Somnus probably stamped them out in the subsequent tyranny that the Great Nation of Lucis was founded upon. Of course.

---

And at the end of all this, not even the shitty gods know who the heck Izunia is.

This Prologue made me so angry, I spent my Sunday afternoon thinking about it, and I’m still not over it. As I told @lacertius, I feel betrayed. I’m a big Final Fantasy XV fan, and I was excited about Episode Ardyn. I was open-minded to meeting the man behind the enigmatic smile and the douchy fedora. I expected more from this, and I was let down. 

I’m angry because this is not the story I hoped for. This is artificial and lazy and it breaks my heart that this is the last hurrah for the game that we’ve all grown to love.