#he finds it funny. he's quite secure in his masculinity so he's just having a fun time

[sequoiareachesforthesky]

Milgram fic idea: the prisoners are bored (as they always are) and they've already celebrated every holiday imaginable. So someone suggests doing a cross-dressing event for a change. Mahiru, Mikoto and Muu help everyone find the perfect fit (Mahiru sews half the clothes herself to make it look perfect).

A bunch of gender crisis ensue.

[chaoticbardlady99]

What about an astarion fic with a masc reader? I rarely see them, and I need it! He has me on my knees, honestly.

 One of Your Girls (Astarion x M! Reader) MDNI 18+

Title inspired by the song “One of Your Girls” by Troye Sivan

CW: Smut, fluff, dom! Reader, sub! Astarion, mentions of sexual trauma (really really wanna emphasis that I didn��t quite know what masc meant when I first began writing)

Author Note- I wasn’t able to find a video with Astarion’s proposition that wasn’t translated from Greek so I had to try to recreate the scene from memory (I don’t need my boyfriend asking to read my smut- he wants to, I’m not fond of the idea, ya know how it is). 

I have also noticed that there is not a lot of Masculine Reader x Astarion fics. I want to reiterate that I am a woman, so if you are a male and you read this fic, please let me know what you like about the content and maybe give me pointers on male behavior if you feel I’m off  (please remember to be kind, I just want to learn, not be crucified). 

    

Astarion stands at the entrance of his tent- impatiently tapping his foot against the ground as some pink-hair tiefling attempts to flirt with him. His instincts say stop being distracted. Focus on the very obviously interested woman in front of him, but he just can’t. 

  He had spent the last two weeks since he had met you trying to get you into his bed. However, he had never met someone more dense in his life. 

  He flirts with you constantly, he sees the blush color on your cheeks when he does. He sees how you try not to sneak glances at him when he decides to join you at the river to clean off. He sees your interest in him when you talk, in the way your eyes shine when he makes you laugh.

 While Astarion was almost certain that everyone in camp adored you and practically drooled everytime you walked by- he had really felt like he had secured his spot in your bed. Secured your protection.  

 Yet here he is- drinking shitty wine, being talked at by some girl, and watching you talk to everyone else, but him.

  He sneaks glances at you while pretending to be interested in whatever the woman is saying. He takes in all the details of your face- a soft smile pulls on his lip as he watches you erupt in laughter. The tiefling talking to him huffs and says something to him. She must have wisened up eventually because he suddenly doesn’t hear her incessant chattering in his ears.

  You wander around camp- all 6’2 and 230 lbs of you. Your body is chorded with strong muscles and littered in scars- the majority hidden away by your clothing. 

 You unceremoniously stomp around camp, talking and laughing with your other companions. You catch him staring and flash him one of your brilliant smiles. He watches as you take three massive gulps from your wine glass.

 For a Barbarian, you are quite charming in your own oblivious way. You are funny, brave, and morally gray. Your general disposition is magnetic- you could (and did) convince a Gnoll to eat itself. You are impulsive and quick to jump into battle which infuriates Astarion, but you always stand right next to his side- making sure that no harm will come to him. Sometimes, to your own detriment! How have you not asked to get into his bed!?

  You turn to who you are talking to, say something,  and begin walking towards Astarion. Astarion envies the way you walk- head held high, confident, but with a genuine smile on your face. You aren’t confident in a narcissistic, pompous way. You are confident in a humble way. You don’t let your ego lead your life. People like you and want to fight for you. He could never be anywhere close to the man you are, but that is why he needs you. You can convince the others to protect him when the time comes.

  You stop in front of him. He pours more wine in your glass as you hold it out to him. You take a sip and he watches as you look at him. He sees the confidence you have waiver slightly. 

   Strange.

 You step closer to him and take his hand in yours, running your thumb over his knuckles. Astarion exhales sharply and you go to jerk your hand back, an apology on your lips when Astarion grabs your hand. While the act of intimacy had surprised him, it certainly wasn’t uninvited. He would never admit it, but your touch lights him on fire in a way he has never experienced before. You look at your intertwined hands and blush. Astarion fights back a satisfied grin.

  So maybe I’m not wrong, maybe you are interested.

 Astarion smirks at you as he watches the pleased blush spread across your cheeks.

 “Sooooooo,” you say with a slight slur, “are you enjoying yourself tonight?”

   Astarion scowls and rolls his eyes, “you know I never pictured myself as a hero. Never thought I’d be the one they toast for saving so many lives and now that I’m here,” he pauses to take a drink, his tongue sticking out in disgust, “I hate it. This is awful.  I would have liked more for my troubles than a pat on the head and vinegar for wine.”

  It’s your turn to roll your eyes and a throaty chuckle comes out of your mouth. 

 “Well at least it’s a celebration,” you sigh, “I am grateful to have something to celebrate for- even though the wine is truly terrible.”

 “I was just hoping to be more…. Entertained.”

“True, the goblin’s probably would have thrown a much more wild party,” you quip.

 “Well, we could create our own entertainment…” Astarion says while watching your reaction.

  You stare at him quizzically, “Like play a game?”

   Astarion had to fight the urge to scream at the top of his lungs.

 Astarion pulls together his composure for a smile before he says, “No darling, I mean sex.”

 You stare at him wide eyed and Astarion is wondering if he read the situation wrong. Then you move forward, sliding your hand up his jaw, into his hair, gently pulling it. Astarion gasps as you press your mouth against his, your tongue gliding across his bottom lip before you pull it in with your teeth. You pull back, your grip on his hair loosening and you look into his eyes with a confident smirk.

  You put your mouth against his ear and whisper, “like that?”

 Astarion nods- if he needed air, it would have been knocked out of him. Your lips on his were electrifying. 

 “Let’s find each other when everyone goes to sleep,” he says while looking up at you with hooded eyes.

 Your grin gets even wider, “Gods, I thought you’d never ask.”

_________________________________________________________________________

   Astarion feels you lift him up and wrap him around your hips- his back colliding with the tree. Your lips are on his hungrily, needy, but with restraint as he feels your erection grow. Astarion makes quick work of your shirt and begins to move to the laces of your pants. 

  You palm him through his pants and he gasps against your lips. After your pants are off, you and Astarion work on his. When they are off, he throws them unceremoniously. You smile nervously at him.

 “I’m not very good at the whole, removing clothes thing,” you say with a breathy chuckle as you kiss down his neck, wrapping your hand around his hard cock. 

  Astarion moans and growls, putting his head into the crook of your neck. 

 “I’ve noticed. I’ve only been trying to seduce you for the last two weeks,” he manages to gasp out.

 “Well then,” you say with a lustful grin, “let me reward you for waiting so patiently.” 

    You set him down on his back and begin to kiss along his neck and down his body. One of your fingers glides into him and he stifles a moan. You put your mouth around the head of his cock as you pump your finger and then add another. Your mouth moves up and down- your rough tongue applying pressure in all the right places. He cums into your mouth while looking at you.

  It feels good, but Astarion is desperately trying not to dissociate. Yes, to an extent this feels significantly different and maybe even makes him feel happy? It just doesn’t erase two hundred years of being degraded and used. 

  He feels your mouth leave his cock and your fingers aren’t inside him anymore.  You don’t go to kiss him. He looks at you with confusion. You stare back in concern.

 “Astarion,” you start, “ if you aren’t into this… we don’t ne-”

 Astarion panics and grips your hair, pulling you towards him before crashing his lips against yours. You pull away to ask him again, but he beats you to it. He will not lose his protection- his only hope of freedom.

 “Of course I want this, “ he hisses against your lips, puncturing your lower lips with his fangs, “I just need you inside me already, darling.” 

  You still look unconvinced when he wraps his hand around your cock, stroking it. Your gasp sounds like music to his ears- the concern in your eyes fades and becomes replaced with lust. You kiss him hard on the mouth before you flip him on his stomach. Astarion gets up on all fours.

  Saved it. 

 You pump yourself- using the precum as lubricant. Astarion feels you press into his entrance slowly before slipping inside of him. He moans as he hears you release a quiet hiss.

  “Hells, “ you moan, tangling his hair in your fingers as you slowly rock your hips, “you feel so fucking good. Are you going to be good for me?”

  When he nods, you pull out and slam into him. Astarion cries out in pleasure as you hit that perfect spot inside of him.

 “I said, “ you growl, “are you going to be good for me?”

    “Yes,” he chokes out, tears pricking his eyes as you fill him up. You feel absolutely perfect inside of him.

 That was all you needed before you began to pound in and out of him- your hand snaking around his waist, jerking him off as you praise him for being so good for you. 

 Astarion is a moaning, screaming mess around and underneath you. He has never had anyone pay so much attention to his pleasure and as his second orgasm of the night rips through him, he feels you reach your release inside him. You collapse on top of him, using your arms to prop yourself up as you kiss his shoulders and his neck before rolling over, pulling him close to you. 

 ____________________________________________________________________________

   He feels you begin to relax into sleep with your arms around him. 

 “Will you stay?”

  He hears you say quietly- the confidence in your voice not there. He turns around in your arms and looks at your hopeful, nervous face. He smiles, the look on your face snapping him out of the trance he was in. Astarion nods and presses a chaste kiss on your mouth before turning around again.

  Once Astarion is sure you have fallen asleep, he fights back the urge to cry. He knows it’s different- being with you felt like nothing he has ever experienced before, but he still couldn’t shake the tainted feeling in his chest as you held him close. Not because he doesn’t want to stay here in your arms, but because the reminder that all he was created for was sex; suddenly became too heavy of a burden to bear.

[watchmegetobsessed]

SAFE AND SOUND

a/n: this one took a little longer to write, but im so happy its finally finished! its not what i originally planned, i started a whole different plot but hated it so started again, but i might go back to the first story, so maybe more bodyguard!harry content is gonna come! anyway, hope you’ll enjoy this one!

pairing: Bodyguard!Harry X Reader

warning: use of weapon (no one dies), mentioning of cancer (no one is sick), sexual content

word count: 9.1k

masterlist

“This is not up for discussion, Y/N. What you are doing and what you are about to achieve soon might upset a lot of people that hold great power. We can’t just assume you’ll be fine, walking around like anyone else in the world.”

Your boss, Julian explains it to you, leaning onto his desk, trying his best to keep his cool about your protest to get you a guard to watch out for you and keep you safe. It’s been an ongoing struggle and fight you two have been having these past weeks and it became a burning situation since you’ve made some major progress in your project.

“I’m not some kind of royalty to have security with me all the time,” you grumble rolling your eyes.

“Not just royalties have guards, Y/N. Just accept it, that you’re valuable, your work is very important not just to our company but to the whole world. Do you not realize how big it is? You are close to having the cure to cancer, Y/N! You can easily get a Nobel-prize for that!”

“I know that it’s important, but no one knows me, no one will see me on the street and know who I am or what I do!”

“It’s not about the people on the street. The world is a dark place, darker than you could imagine. Please, just… I want to know that you’re safe.”

Staring back at him with your arms folded on your chest you contemplate his words. You can see the rationality in his words, it’s just that you don’t want to break your routine, you don’t want people around you all the time, you don’t want to end your privacy like that. But Julian is right, your work is important and there have already been a few attempts to steal your researches, but they miserably failed. However that doesn’t mean they will be stopped the next time as well.

“One guard,” you speak up. “Just one. I’m not gonna have a whole fucking team,” you tell him raising your eyebrows. He lets out a relieved sigh, a tiny smile tugging on his lips.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Reaching out to the phone he presses the buzzer that signals to his assistant, Monica outside and a few moments later she walks in, accompanied with a tall, suited man, his green eyes immediately falling to you upon entering the room.

“Y/N, I took the courage to pick him out for you myself. This is Harry Styles, the best you can find in the city if not in the country,” Julian introduces him as he pushes himself away from his giant mahogany desk, walking closer to the man as they shake hands firmly. You stand up from the armchair you’ve been sinking into these past ten minutes and unsurely hold out your hand to the man.

“Harry Styles, pleasure to meet you,” he introduces himself, a thick British accent lacing through his voice and the way his green irises stare back at you, you can feel your heart fluttering in your chest. Mr. Styles is undeniably the most charming and handsome man you’ve ever met, with his perfectly carved cheekbones and chiseled jawline, pink lips and those enchanting green eyes framed by his thick lashes. There’s something in his appearance, something feminine, but still, he holds so much masculinity at the same time, it’s hard not to be enamored by him.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you mumble your name, shaking his hand slightly before letting go of it.

“Details about your cooperation have already been discussed with the security agency and us, but of course, your word is what counts, so we’ll walk over the whole plan with you as well,” Julian explains to you and you nod shortly.

The three of you move to the conference room and the next hour goes by with working those so called details out, some of them are ridiculous, some of them you can get used to, at the end you are left with a somewhat bearable plan, but one thing is for sure. Harry Styles will be a big part of your life from now on.

THREE MONTHS LATER

The tiny pack of sugar tears open in your hands, but you put too much effort into it so the countertop is now covered with the content of the pack instead of ending up in your paper cup.

“Fuck,” you growl, dumping the empty pack into the trash before grabbing another one, hoping it won’t end up the same way.

“Let me help you,” a smooth, male voice speaks up next to you and Harry grabs the pack from your hands as he places his own coffee to the counter. You let him tear the pack open easily, pouring the sugar into your drink without problem before he puts the lid back to your cup.

“Thank you,” you mumble, closing your tired eyes for a split second. You’ve been overworking way too much these past weeks, it’s starting to shut your system down, but you don’t want to rest, not when you’re so close to finishing your project.

The past two weeks have been major, you finally made the progress you’ve been working towards for months now, letting you step into the last phase of your work finally. But it’s been a quite stressful time as you’ve been eager to finish as soon as possible, but that meant little to no time spent outside of your lab.

Harry shoots you a reassuring smile before you both grab your drinks and head out of the café in the direction of your workplace.

The past three months were one hell of a ride when it comes to Harry. You didn’t hide your dislike towards his continuous presence in your life, standing by your side wherever you went. It frustrated you, made you feel like you didn’t have your freedom any longer even though he never did anything to make you hate him. He was considerate, respectful and only wanted to do his job, yet you still gave him a hard time at the beginning, right until the need for his work was proved.

Two months ago someone broke into your apartment while you were out, they searched through the whole place, looking for something. Well, not just something, they were clearly interested in anything connected to your research, but luckily, you’re not dumb enough to just let these stuff lay around your home.

Even though you didn’t encounter the person responsible for it, the incident still shook your up. Knowing that someone could get into your personal space so easily, that they could have come at a time when you were home and vulnerable, it scared you. Harry was the person that eased the worry and fear in you, he took care of everything in an instant and upon his best advice, you moved to a new apartment with a higher security level. He even moved to the place next to yours so he could be as close to you as possible at all times. There was a much needed shift in your relationship after that and you didn’t see him as an intruder any longer in your life, but more as a hero.

“So would you like Italian or Mexican tonight for dinner?” Harry asks as the two of you enter the building, using your IDs you go through the massive security gates, the guards in post nodding in your way.

“Isn’t it your night to choose?” you smile at him sideways as you wait for the elevator.

“Okay, then Thai,” he smirks, making you laugh. “Hope you are not planning on eating it here again,” he gives you a warning look and you purse your lips.

“I have a lot to do, and—“

“Y/N, you need to rest sometimes,” he scolds you as if you were just a child.

“I do rest. Sometimes,” you answer with an innocent look as the elevator’s door slides open and you walk in with Harry following you right behind.

“Like once a week? Do you even sleep when you’re at home?”

“I do! Don’t make me look like I’m some kind of crazy workaholic!”

“I’m just worried about you, is all,” he sighs, giving you a hard look.

“Oh, Mr. Styles. If I didn’t know you better I would think you might have a soft spot for me,” you smirk at him teasingly before the elevator arrives to your floor and you walk out without a word. Harry just stares after you with a small smile tugging on his lips as he thinks about your words. It’s funny, especially because you both know something more than just a professional relationship has been going on between the two of you, only dancing around it as the situation is a little too complicated to address now.

It’s not like any rules are tying you down, but you would rather not mix up work with your private life. You might have feelings for Harry, but you refuse to act up on them until he is out of his duty as your personal guard.

Your days are usually the same. While you lock yourself up in your lab, working with no end, Harry stay either with you in there or he hovers around the door, keeping an eye on everyone and everything. Just the thought of his presence never fails to bring you a sense of comfort, knowing that you don’t have to worry about your safety until he is near. It might seem nerdy, but you can easily get lost in your work. It doesn’t feel like a job, growing up with parents who were excellent doctors and pharmacists themselves, you were doomed to be a science enthusiast yourself from the beginning. Learning has never been a task for you but a gift, as you liked to look at it.

Working overtime happens often because you lose touch with time easily once you get down to work. Nothing exists outside of your lab and you hardly realize how late it is until Harry usually warns you.

“I didn’t joke when I said I didn’t want to have dinner in here,” he steps into your sanctuary while you’re in the middle of running tests for the millionth time today. Pushing your glasses up to the top of your head while the machines are buzzing and whirling, you look up at him with a tired smile.

“Let me just… finish this one last test and then I promise we’ll head out.”

“Alright, but I’m watching you. No more tests,” he warns, sitting on one of the stools while you finish what you started.

Harry never really asked you about your work, for a while you weren’t even sure if he knows what you’re doing and why it’s so important. It was never discussed at the beginning and he never brought it up later either. But judging from the time he spends near you at the lab he must have picked up a few things about it surely.

The machines stop working and the tiny beeping sound signals that the results are out. You grab the long printed paper and start scanning the data, chewing on your bottom lip as you hope to find what you’ve been looking for all day. The numbers are coming in great, but it’s been like this for a while, it’s the end that never matches up with your expectations. So when you get there and see the graphs showing the result that you’ve been dreaming of since the start of the whole project years ago, your mouth falls open in disbelief even though it’s what you’ve been working for all this time.

“Oh my God,” you whisper.

“What?” Harry’s head snaps up in alert, jumping off the stool.

“I… I did it,” you breathe out, glancing up from the paper. “It’s my first time succeeding, Harry!” you start laughing, the shock taking over your whole body that you really did it this time.

“And what does that mean?”

“Come on, let me show you,” you tell him in excitement, pulling him over to the computer where you pull up all the data you’ve been working on. A virtual version of a cell comes up on the screen as you start typing, modelling what you want to show him. “This is a completely healthy cell, it’s what you are made of too, mostly,” you ass with a chuckle before another cell comes up on the screen. “And this is what cells that are affected by cancer look like.”

The difference is a lot more complicated than what you can explain to him in such a short time, but he can see it with his own eyes. The color, the shape, everything is different from the first one. Harry examines the screen and nods shortly, letting you know that he is following.

“I’ve been working on a substance that is able to not just detect the cancerous cells but it can also kill it effectively without hurting the healthy ones.”

You bring up the virtualized version of the substance you’ve been working on, a short animation showing how it can tell the two cells apart and only attack the cancerous one.

“I haven’t been able to get the numbers above 60% when it comes to succeeding in the process of selection so my whole project was about finding a solution to that. I’ve been trying to find the right substance to mix with our already existing one to solve the problem, but I haven’t been successful in it.”

“I assume until now,” Harry hum and you nod smirking.

“Yeah. The last test results came back very good, quite promising. It’s still not the end of the process, but it’s a huge step.”

“That’s great,” he smiles at you and though you know he probably understands just a fracture of the whole process, he can still figure out how important it is. “Congrats, Y/N.” “Thanks,” you breathe out, pride filling your chest as you shut the computer off. “I guess this is my cue to end the day,” you smile at him before packing up everything, getting ready to finally leave.

It’s not the first time Harry is spending the evening at your place. You often have dinner together, or watch a movie whenever you get home early enough to do that. Through the time you’ve spent together because of his job you’ve grown to be friends above everything. Good ones, in fact, which is a big deal for you since making friends has never been an easy task for you.

You bought takeout on the way home and as Harry set the table you poured yourself a glass of wine, knowing well Harry would never drink when he is on duty and he is basically working all the time he is with you, so you’re drinking alone. You both sit to the dining table, starting dinner together in a comfortable silence. It’s another thing you appreciate about Harry. He doesn’t try to talk when it’s not necessary, you hate small talk, you’d rather sit in silence than talk about something nonsense and Harry is a partner in that.

“When do you need to leave work tomorrow to get to the party on time?” he asks breaking the silence and you freeze. His eyes fall on you, examining your features for a moment before he smirks. “You forgot about it?”

“I just… thought it’s going to be next week,” you truthfully admit.

“We talked about it last week,” he smirks at you playfully. “And I told you it would be next week which is… this week.”

“I know how the days work, Harry,” you give him a look of ‘give me a break’ before you turn back to your food. “I just…”

“You just forgot it,” Harry finishes for you, and you just roll your eyes at him.

Glancing at him over the table you wonder if he’ll wear something different than is usual attire he always wears. Black suit with a white shirt underneath, the top two buttons left undone, giving you a tiny peek at the tattoos on his chest. You know those are not the only ones, you’ve seen him with the suit jacket off before, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, his whole left arm is covered in ink and you wish you’ve had the chance to take a better look at them.

Harry is such an intriguing person in a lot of different ways. He definitely likes to keep things to himself, not one to ask for attention and it’s not just because of his work, it’s his personality. However he is good with people, interacting with them, being social. A skill you haven’t really mastered yourself yet and you probably never will. He always seems to know what to say, you’ve never seen him even the slightest bit anxious or nervous before, the confidence he holds is unmatched and it makes it hard to not think about him in ways you shouldn’t be.

After dinner he helps you clean up, just like he always does before heading out, but before he could leave he stops and turns back to face you.

“Oh, a friend of mine is visiting from the UK on Sunday. I already mentioned it to you before, but I was hoping I could get the afternoon off,” he wonders and you nod right away.

“Of course! I’ll be just fine at home,” you smile at him.

“Thank you,” he smiles back before walking out of your place at last.

Because of the party in the evening you are forced to stop working early the next day. It’s weird to leave the office in broad daylight, but you know today can’t be one of those days when you end up seeing the new day in the lab.

Harry was right yesterday, you completely forgot the whole party thing, meaning you didn’t plan anything ahead and you had nothing to wear, so through the day you called your sister, Mara to help you out. She was more than happy to lend you anything you needed. She meets you at the office, beaming to spend some time with you finally. It’s not that you don’t like her company, but you are quite different, is all. Your sister didn’t get sucked into the world of science, though she definitely has the bright mind to take up on any field she would want to explore. But she was more into the world of art, having written her first fantasy novel at the ripe age of twenty, she is now a bestseller author at only twenty-nine with a bubbly personality and basically every trait you never owned yourself.

“Harry! So nice to see you again!” Mara beams at the man as the three of you meet up at the lobby.

“Hi, Mara,” Harry smiles with a tiny nod.

“Alright, I have everything you could need so let’s head to yours!” your sister cheers before you make your way out to your cars.

Arriving to your home Harry splits from the two of you, letting you to get ready in peace and also to get ready himself. Mara didn’t joke when she said she has everything you need, the trunk of her car is basically filled with clothes and shoes, there’s no chance you won’t find something to wear tonight.

She orders you to take a quick shower as she unpacks everything she brought and when you emit from a cloud of steam with a towel wrapped around your body and one on your head, Mara gets down to work.

“So do you have a date for today?” she curiously asks while she does your makeup.

“Huh, yeah, sure,” you huff ironically. “It’s just gonna be Harry and me.”

“So Harry is your date?” her ears perk up, but you’re quick to protest.

“Of course not! He comes with me everywhere,” you mumble with your eyes closed as she is doing something on your eyelids.

“But it could be a date,” she offers and you huff in disagreement.

“You know that’s not how it works, Mara.”

“You are making it more complicated than it is! No one would blame you if you just… went for it! Harry is obviously an attractive guy.”

“Then maybe you should date him,” you bite back bitterly. Growing up you weren’t the boys’ favorite, they always paid all the attention to your sister. It’s not that you blame her or them, she always had a more capturing and lively personality that attracted people naturally. But it made you wonder if there was something wrong with you, spending all your time with your nose buried in a book or doing researches for fun while Mara was out with her friends, living her best life. Even her published books were inspired by her personal life experiences.

“Y/N,” she sighs, her hands leaving your face so you open your eyes to look at her disapproving expression. “You obviously like him so I would never do that and besides that, he for sure likes you too.”

“What’s not true,” you deny right away, but then you look at her curiously. “But why would you think that?”

Mara smirks at you tilting her head to the side, seeing right through your act that you’re not interested in Harry. Of course you are, but you choose to keep it at bay for the sake of his job.

“Y/N, I see how that man watches every move you make. It’s written all over his handsome face.”

“Of course he watches my every move, that’s his job!”

“No, it’s different. You’ll see it sooner or later,” she smiles before ordering you to close your eyes again so she can finish your makeup.

Mara does wonders to your looks, the makeup look she does on you already makes a huge difference since you don’t bother to do anything on your every days. But she didn’t stop there, she made your hair look like you just stepped off of the pages of a magazine and the dress the two of you chose was the cherry on the top. The emerald green dress was tight around your curves, showing just enough of your body to be still considered modest, but also have some spice. And though there are a lot of advantages of the dress, your first and most important thought (to you at least) was how well it goes with the color of Harry’s eyes.

“I’m a genius,” Mara sighs satisfied with her work as you slip on the pair of nude heels and put your necessities into the little clutch you’re taking with you. Just when you’re gone with everything, the doorbell rings and your heart jumps in your chest, knowing that Harry is standing on the other side of the door.

“I’ll get it for you,” Mara smiles rushing to the door as you walk into the hallway, standing a few feet behind her so as she opens the front door and Harry comes into view, over Mara’s shoulder his eyes easily find your figure standing there, feeling a little awkward and self-conscious, like you are about to go to prom with your crush. Difference is that you are not a teenager anymore and you aren’t going anywhere together together. Tonight is just work for him.

But as his bright green eyes fall on your frame and you see his lips slightly part, you can’t help but allow yourself to think for a moment that it’s more than just work. That he feels the same way about it as you do. Though you don’t voice your hopes and just smile at him faintly, hoping you don’t look completely ridiculous in your outfit.

“Harry, come on in!” Mara invites him into the apartment and he walks in, wearing his usual black suit with the difference of having a tie on around his neck, his white shirt is appearing neat and crispy and his sometimes unruly curls are now gently combed back a little so his curls are not falling into his forehead.

“Hi,” you smile at him nervously fumbling with your clutch as he takes a few steps closer to you.

“Hi. You look… beautiful,” he smiles back at you a little breathlessly as he takes a respectful look down your body before his green irises meet your gaze again.

“Thank you. You look great too,” you chuckle softly. “Should we… head out?”

“Yeah, sure!” he nods, offering you his arm and you link your arm with his instantly, hoping you won’t trip in your heels. “Lock the door when you leave, Mara, alright?” you call out to your sister who is watching you smiling.

“Sure! Have fun!”

You wave at her one last time before walking out and shutting the door closed behind you.

This party is held every year at Pharma-Z, mostly this is the time when the brain meets the money. Investors and funders like to meet the people behind the million dollars researches from time to time and this is the occasion where both sides show up. Julian always asks you to be social and try to mingle, but the whole thing feels forced and painful for you. You’d rather just be left alone with your researches and projects without having to schmooze to the people who give you the money for your hard work.

It’s held at one of said investors’ luxurious penthouse, that doesn’t even look like someone’s home with the huge outdoors infinity pool, the spacious and modern interiors and the expensive looking decoration that was put up just for the occasion.

“Y/N! I’m so happy you are here!” Julian approaches you with a drink in his hands and you’re happy to see a familiar face in the crowd. You don’t really know others from work, only your little team you directly work with and of course, your boss, Julian.

“It’s not like I had a choice,” you chuckle giving him a short, friendly hug. Julian is far from a nightmare of a boss some people have to face at their job. He is an actually nice and very smart and intellectual person. The pharmaceutical industry can be harsh and dark, the competition between the businesses is way more intent than people think. This is why you need the protection. Some companies profit off of the fact that cancer has no cure yet. They make money from all the treatments that doesn’t even guarantee full recovery. A lot of big fish don’t want the cure, because that would make them lose a good chunk of their income and some of those would even go to the depth of hurting you for being so close to ruining their business with your invention. Pharma-Z is luckily a genuine company that wants to help sick people and that’s why you’re working there.

“You know how important it is for the company,” Julian sighs, but he understands how uncomfortable these events make you feel, though he can do nothing to help you. “Harry, nice to see you again,” he smiles at the man by your side.

“Julian, nice to see you too,” he nods, shaking hands with your boss.

“Mingle a little so people can see and meet you, alright?” Julian requests and you just nod silently before he moves on to the next group of people.

You get yourself a drink to ease your nerves a little as people start approaching you. Some of them you’ve met last year, but there are a lot of new faces. Your project has brought in quite a few new sponsors and investors and now they want to meet you and talk about the research their money is going into.

You try your best to keep a smile plastered across your face as you tell the people the same thing over and over again, receiving praise and compliments on your work before moving onto the next conversation just to start over again.

You can feel your social batteries running out, not sure you can put up with another conversation with a wealthy investor who wants you to know you have a job because they gave money for your project in hopes of you bringing more money to them.

Harry has stayed by your side the whole evening, and you didn’t notice but he kept examining you every few minutes to make sure you were holding up and he noticed how tired you’ve grown from socializing for so long.

“Y/N,” he softly calls out, his palm finding the small of your back. “Why don’t we get some fresh air?” he kindly offers and you immediately understand that he is trying to get you away from the guests and the overwhelming conversations you’ve been dealing with. Nodding you let him usher you outside, finding a spot where the two of you can be a little alone.

“I fucking… hate small talks and being nice to everyone,” you let out a long and heavy sigh, as you lean against the railing, paying just one short glance at the city’s bright lights under your feet. Harry chuckles shortly.

“I figured. You’ve been chewing your lips so hard I was afraid you’d start bleeding.”

Now that he has brought your attention to it, you realize you are doing it again, so you let go of your bottom lip from between your teeth and it brings out another chuckle from Harry.

“I’m just… not good with these… social stuff.”

“I disagree with that,” he hums, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Oh please, if you haven’t realized it, my number of zero friends is a tell, I think.”

“Come on, it’s not zero. You’re friends with Mara.”

“But family doesn’t count, she is kind of forced to be my friend,” you shrug, making him laugh.

“Okay, but I’m your friend too, aren’t I?” You furrow your eyebrows at him.

“You spend time with me because it’s your job.”

His eyes soften on you as he leans against the railing next to you, looking so effortlessly handsome and charming, you almost need to take a deep breath at the sight of him. And the cheeky smile on his pink lips is definitely not helping your case.

“I know you didn’t mean that. You’re a smart woman, Y/N.” Reaching out he tugs a loose strand of hair behind your ear as he inches closer a tiny bit. “I think we stepped over the line of just work.”

“So… you consider me your friend?” you ask shyly.

“If you have to ask maybe I’ve been doing something wrong,” he chuckles softly, making you smile too. Folding your arms a shiver runs down your spine from the cold evening breeze. “Are you cold?” Harry asks, but before you could even say a word, he shrugs his jacket off and drapes it over your shoulders.

“Oh, thank you,” you breathe out shyly.

“Do you want another drink?”

“Yeah, I think I might need another one,” you chuckle and nodding he tells you to just stay there until he gets you a new one.

Turning towards the view, you enjoy the lonely moments for a little, not too keen on going back inside and keep up the façade of interest any longer. You’d rather just head home, maybe have another drink with Harry on your couch while you watch a rerun of whatever show is on TV and then fall asleep after a hot shower. You’ve been working way too much lately and it’s just now crashing down on you. Next week you definitely should cut back on your hours at the lab, the project is already going amazing, it won’t hurt if you actually had some rest before you lose your mind.

You hear footsteps approaching you and you think it’s Harry returning, but as you turn around you are faced with a stranger, a man who is staring down at you with bloodshot eyes and… a gun pointed at you.

Your breath hitches, your blood freezing in your veins at the sight and your legs almost give up underneath you.

“What… who are you?” Your voice comes out as a whisper, tears already flooding your eyes as you melt against the railing as if you had anywhere to go, but you have no chance against him.

One glance at the gun allows you to see that it has a silencer on, with the music coming from inside and no one around, if he shoots you, he’ll be able to get away before anyone realizes what happened.

The man doesn’t answer, just holds up the gun, aiming right at your chest and you close your eyes, thinking that this is it. This is how your life ends, in the middle of a posh party with no one around to help you. Your lips are trembling and hands are shaking as you hold onto the railing, waiting for the inevitable to come, keeping your eyes shut, not wanting to see your killer as the last thing you see before you go.

And then you hear the muffled gunshot, making you scream in fear, your knees turning into jelly, but the pain never comes. Instead, you hear grunting and growling as a body falls to the ground in front of you.

Your eyes snap open and you see Harry straddling the man, the gun lying near your attacker’s hand and he is trying to reach it, but before he could, you kick it away as Harry throws a punch at his face that stops him from trying too hard to free himself.

The next few moments are so busy and blurry at the same time. Your legs give up underneath you, making you fall to the ground, your whole body shaking in waves. In the meantime Harry gets the man into a position where he can be easily controlled and people start flooding out at the scene, helping Harry while security working at the party take the man, the police already on its way.

When Harry can finally step back from the attacker, his eyes fall on your figure and he rushes over to you, kneeling down next to your trembling body, cradling you into his arms upon seeing how shaken up you are.

“Hey, it’s alright. It’s over, you’re alright,” he murmurs, holding you tight as your fists grab onto his shirt, your breathing is uneven, the oxygen barely makes its way into your lungs as you’re panting and gasping from the shock. “Come on, let’s get you inside, Y/N,” he gently tells you, helping you up from the floor even though your body feels like a pile of brick.

You can feel everyone staring at you, whispering behind your back as you try to hide in Harry’s arms while he walks you back inside, away from the man that tried to take your life. He walks you into one of the bathrooms and closing the lid he sits you down to the toilet while he grabs a towel and wetting it he kneels in front of you, tapping the cloth to your cheeks gently. You haven’t even realized that you’ve been sweating from the shock and the coldness feels amazing against your burning skin.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, but not even you are sure why.

“Nothing to be sorry for, Y/N,” he gently murmurs, giving your hand a squeeze as you shut your eyes closed. He grabs a glass from one of the cabinets and fills it with water handing it over to you.

“Thank you,” you mumble, bringing it to your trembling lips, but before you could drink it, your eyes snap up to meet his gaze. “And thank you for… what you did.” Your voice dies down at the end, the picture of the man pointing the gun at you still living so vividly in your mind.

“No need, it’s my job after all, right?” he chuckles softly, making your lips twitch the slightest bit before you start sipping on the water.

The police show up soon and they arrest the man who refuses to talk. They also request you to give your statement about what happened, but Harry manages to let you just give them the brief story and go in sometime soon to give them your full statement so you don’t have to spend any more time there. They are quite sure the man was hired by someone who doesn’t want you to finish your project, and it’s scary how far some people are willing to go just for the money, just to keep sick people in suffering for their own benefit.

Heading home you stay silent as Harry drives, staring out the window you let the nightlights of the city pass by you while you still see the same face, the face of the man that held a gun at you tonight. The gunshot is still ringing through your ears, it was so close, so real… of course it was real! All of it was real and your life was on the line. If it weren’t for Harry, you wouldn’t be here right now.

Arriving to your home Harry helps you out of the car and you cling onto his hand as you head up to the apartment. He keys the two of you into your home, flicking the lights on and looking around before you go further inside, just to be sure.

“It’s all clear, don’t worry,” he murmurs as you nod and make your way into the bedroom. Kicking your heels off your feet you sit on the edge of the bed, letting out a long breath, feeling your limbs loosening up a bit for the first time in the past hour.

Harry moves around the place doing whatever before he joins you in the room, kneeling in front of you his hands find your bare knees and your eyes meet his worry-filled green irises.

“Do you want to take a shower?” he softly asks and you nod your head. “Come on, I’ll start the water for you.”

He helps you up from the bed and walks you into the bathroom. You stand there awkwardly, not sure what to do as he starts running the water in the walk in shower before he steps back to you.

“Would you…?” you ask, turning around, needing help with the zipper of your dress. Harry clears his throat as his fingers work on it and a moment later the fabric loosens around your frame as you hold it to your chest with your arms. Turning back around you peek up at Harry and you notice the slight blush on his cheeks.

“I’ll be outside at the door, okay?” He whispers, his fingers delicately touching your cheek as you nod before you watch him walk out and close the door behind him.

The hot water feels freshening, like it could burn away the memories even though it’s still so vivid in your mind. You stand under the running water longer than you intended, but it feels nice and needed. Once you’re done, you wrap yourself into a fluffy towel and walk out of the steamy bathroom only to find Harry sitting at the edge of your bed, waiting like a loyal puppy. When he sees you, he stands from his spot and you don’t miss the way his eyes scan over your body that’s barely covered.

“Alright, I’ll go now, but if you—“ “Don’t!” you gasp, panic taking over you at the thought of being left alone. One of your hands grasps his arm to stop him from moving and he freezes in his spot, staring back at your fearful eyes. “Please, stay here,” you plead, voice barely over than just a whisper.

There’s a heartbeat of a pause in him as he is watching you intently and for a moment you think he’ll say no, but then his hand finds yours on his arm and he gives it a gentle squeeze as he nods.

“Okay.”

You let out a long, relieved breath as you ease into comfort. He’s staying, he’ll be with you all night, protecting you from everything and everyone.

“Can I take a shower too?” he asks softly and you nod, stepping to your wardrobe to get him a clean towel. “Thank you. I’ll be back shortly,” he tells you before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door closed behind him.

You hear the water running again and you find yourself standing at the same spot as you listen to the noises coming from the bathroom. Harry is in there, soaking under the water naked and you can’t take your mind off of how badly you want to be there with him.

It’s not just because of what happened tonight, though it made you realize that you don’t have much time to waste. Nothing can assure that you’ll live another day and you don’t want to deny happiness from yourself. You want to be with Harry and as far as you can make it out, he feels the same way.

Upon a sudden decision, you pad your way over to the bathroom door and open it carefully, the warmth immediately hitting your face as you step inside and close it behind you. The glass of the shower is steamed up, you can only make out the blurry frame of Harry in there and you wonder if he heard you come in, but it doesn’t seem like that. His clothes from the night are lying on the floor in a pile, his watch that he always wears is carefully placed next to the sink.

Your hands grab onto the edge of the towel around your body and you unwrap yourself, hanging it up on the wall before stepping to the shower. Hoping you won’t scare him, you open the door, the steam immediately hugging your naked body warmly and you see him standing there with his back facing you as you step into the spacious walk-in shower.

He notices your presence, you see him freeze mid-movement before he peeks over his shoulder, his eyes falling on you as he slowly turns, facing you completely. Standing in front of him completely bare, you feel more vulnerable than ever in your life. You’re scared that he is going to send you away, that he won’t let you get closer to him and if that happens, you’ll feel humiliated, but he just stands there in his naked glory and doesn’t say anything, so you take it as a chance to shoot your shot.

Reaching up your hands slide to his hard chest, up to the base of his neck as you push your front against his, skin to skin with the hot water running down your bodies. His hands find your waist and you could cry from the feeling of his touch on you. Pushing yourself up to your tiptoes your nose nudges against his as your eyes fall closed.

“Y/N,” he breathes out, stopping you right when your lips could meet. Opening your eyes you see the hesitation in his green irises that appear so much darker than they usually do.

“Do you not want it? You don’t want me?” you whisper.

“I do. It’s not that,” he sighs shaking his head slightly. “But you went through a lot today. I don’t want you to make decisions you might regret in the morning.”

You can’t help the small smile that tugs on your lips at how considerate and protective he is over you, thinking that this might be just something that crashed over you in the heat of the moment, but it’s been in the making from the first day you met him. Despite all your protesting against him, you knew you needed him and not just as your guard. He is what’s been missing from your life all along, you just never realized it.

“There’s nothing I could regret when it comes to you, Harry. I needed tonight to open my eyes. Our days are counted, I’m done running from my own happiness.”

He lets out a long, shaky breath as his hands hold tighter onto your waist while your hands run up his neck until your fingers tangle into his wet locks.

“I need you. And not just because of tonight. I’ve always needed you.”

“I’m here, Y/N. I’m all yours,” he breathes out before his lips smash against yours all wet and hard, but it’s the most heavenly feeling you’ve ever experienced.

You become a mess, tangled in each other, lips melting together as your hands explore naked limbs and torsos, bodies pressing tightly against each other shamelessly. Harry walks you backwards until your back hits the cold tile and you let out a whimper as you arch your back at the sudden feeling, just as his head dips down, lips attacking your neck, kissing and nibbling on the soft skin. Your light leg lifts as his hands wander down your thigh, your hips pressing together and you feel how hard he is, his cock pushed against your other thigh, making you moan at the feeling. Reaching down you blindly wrap a hand around the base, giving him a few slow pumps, earning a guttural growl from him before his lips return to yours, kissing you hard and filled with passion. His hands are all over you, on your thighs, ass, back and chest, as if he was mapping your whole body wanting to remember how every inch feels under his touch.

Without tearing his lips away from yours, he blindly reaches behind him, shutting the water off before urging you to jump into his arms, legs wrapping around his waist. He carries you out of the shower, placing you to the counter next to the sink as he stands between your legs, his hands once again finding your breasts as they knead them, making you whimper and shake under his touch. It’s euphoric and addictive, you already know you won’t be able to go a day without feeling him against you like this.

“Bed?” he breathes out against your mouth and you nod eagerly. Reaching to the side he grabs a towel, wrapping it around you, tapping and squeezing you to dry you off, throwing fits of giggles when you grab it and wrap it around his body as well.

The towel falls to the floor abandoned and forgotten as he lifts you off the counter and brings you to the bed, laying you down and holding himself up above you with one arm. His other hand cups your cheek and turning your head you kiss his palm gently, eyes glued to his as he settles between your legs.

“Are you sure about this?” he breathes out, his lips dancing against your cheek and the corner of your mouth.

“Yes! Harry, please!” you beg with a whimper, your whole body aching to feel him inside you.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you, love,” he kisses you as his hand leaves your heated face, runs down your naked body until his fingers reach your throbbing clit.

He slides two digits through your already wet folds, but just to work you up even more he starts drawing circles on your bud, turning you into a whimpering mess underneath him. Your fingers dig into the lean muscles on his back, feeling them twitch from his movements and one hand sliding down to his ass, grabbing a handful of him while pushing him closer to you, his erection pressing against your core.

“Harry, I need you!” you moan, not able to contain yourself any longer. You need to feel him, you need him as close as possible.

Reaching over to your nightstand you grab a condom from the drawer, ripping the package open with your teeth before you carefully grab his erection and roll the condom down his length, ready to finally feel him inside you.

He flicks his fingers on your clit one last time before his hand wraps around the base of his cock, giving it a few pumps while his soft lips kiss down your jawline and throat, his face hiding in the crook of his neck. Your arms circle around his shoulders, your chest heaving from the sensation as he positions himself just right, the tip teasing your hole. Harry lifts his head up, his bright eyes finding your gaze just as he sinks into you, filling you up perfectly.

“H-Harry! Fuck—“ you gasp at the feeling, your walls stretching around his thick cock as he stays still for a few moments, letting you adjust to his size.

You draw your legs up, giving you more space to go deeper as he starts thrusting, sliding in and out of you oh so perfectly, inching you closer to your relief with each movement. You cup his face in your hands, staring into his eyes as if you could see his soul in them and for a split second, you feel like you actually do. His lips are parted and the cross pendant is grazing your chest while he fucks into you, never falling out of his rhythm.

You want to beg to him not to stop, to keep moving and moving, but no words can leave your mouth as your back arches, your orgasm building up in the pit of your stomach. You start grinding your hips in sync with his, allowing him to reach deeper into you, making your toes curl from pleasure.

“Harry, I’m gonna—I-I’m gonna—Ah!” You can’t make up one coherent sentence as your legs start shaking, feeling your orgasm taking over your body.

“I know, baby. Let it go. Let me make you feel good,” he pants, his lips kissing you everywhere he can reach, your lips smashing against each other in a messy kiss, your tongue meeting his in the middle just when you reach your high.

You moan and cry out his name, fingers digging into his flesh as you chase your release. Seeing you fall apart underneath him is enough to throw him over the edge, spilling himself into the condom as his mouth hangs agape, your name falling off his tongue as if it was the holiest glorification. Combing your fingers through his hair you hold him to your chest as he collapses on top of you, his head lying on your naked chest as you both try to catch your breath in the sudden silence that came over you without the sounds of your passion.

Rolling off of your body he slips out of you, an empty feeling taking over you right away, but he is quick to cradle you into his arms to keep the intimacy. You lay your head to his chest, a thin layer of sweat covering the both of you, but you couldn’t care less. You listen to his steady heartbeat as you draw one of the swallows on his chest with your finger, running it over the lines of the ink. You want to soak in the moment and stay in it for as long as possible, but you can barely keep your eyes open. As Harry’s fingers are gently running up and down your bare back you let your eyes close and the last thing you remember is hearing his soft whisper.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll keep you safe.”

You wake up without an alarm in the morning and it’s the first time for that in a long-long time. You stir and groan before you open your eyes, your hands reaching out next to you, looking for the man that was next to you when you fell asleep, but there’s nothing and no one beside you now.

Panic rises in your chest as your eyes pop open and you frantically look around in the room, hoping to see him somewhere near, but you’re alone.

“Harry?” you call you as you sit up, holding the sheets to your chest since you’re still naked. No answer comes and you can feel your heart rate rising instantly.

Getting out of bed you grab the nearest clothing item you find which is an old hoodie, and you put on a pair of clean panties before you carefully walk out of the bedroom, afraid of what you might find outside, but it’s completely silent and still, no one is around. Harry has left.

“Fuck,” you breathe out, feeling the lump in your throat growing as tears are forming in your eyes.

Where did he go? Why did he leave? Is he coming back? Is he gone forever?

You can’t stop yourself from going into depth you shouldn’t, just because you don’t find him first thing in the morning, but you still haven’t entirely recovered from last night’s events and before you could stop yourself, you are thinking about the worst possibilities there could be.

And then you hear the lock turning in the front door.

Blood rushes out of your head as you freeze, afraid it’s another attacker and this time you won’t be as lucky as you were last night. But as the door opens Harry walks in with a paper bag in his arm and you can’t help, but start sobbing at the sight of him.

“Harry!” you cry out, launching at him and he barely have time to put the bag down before he catches you, locking you in his strong arms.

“Hey! No need to worry, it’s just me!” he soothes softly, his hands running up and down your back and head. “I’m sorry I scared you, just wanted to get you something to eat, baby,” he murmurs, kissing the side of your head as you try your best to hold back your sobs.

“I just woke up alone and I thought…”

“I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have left while you were sleeping. But I’m back and I’m alright.”

You just nod, hugging him a little longer before you loosen your hold around him to lean back and look him in the eyes.

“So… you’re staying? With me?”

“If you want me to, yes,” he nods with a soft smile as he cups your tear-soaked face in his hands. “I’ll keep you safe and sound and I’ll be whatever you need me to be.”

“Just be yourself and… be with me,” you shyly ask him and he nods, his smile growing into a wide grin before he leans down and captures your lips in a sweet, intoxicating kiss.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[mrsdeanwinchester19]

The Dinner-Sequel to The Interview

Pairing: Steve x reader

Word Count: 3k

Summary: Sequel to The Interview.  Steve takes his wife to meet his team after her interview

Warnings: None

“Steve, do you think this dress is ok?” I ask, coming out of our walk-in closet wearing my lace, off the shoulder red dress.  Steve is taking me to dinner with the team tonight, so I want to make a good first impression.  Most people would think I’ve met the team before, but Steve kept our relationship a secret in the beginning and then the team broke up because of the Accords and we got married when we were on the run, so we really couldn’t invite any of the team members.

We had our wedding in Norway, one of the few countries that hadn’t signed the Accords.  They claimed they didn’t sign because if a non-government owned unit made from people from different countries called the Alsos Unit hadn’t helped them in World War II, the Germans would have succeeded in creating an Atomic bomb in their country.  In Norway, there was one team member, Thor, who was visiting Earth; he vouched for us.

After our wedding, we went to Wakanda on our honeymoon and visited Bucky. We had been having dinner with Bucky, T’Challa, and Shuri when we told him we got married.  He was upset that he couldn’t be there, but he understood when he found out the wedding happened when he was asleep.  When he said Steve could make it up to him by naming his first son James; Steve started choking on his Umqombothi drink.  I know Steve wants kids, but he wasn’t willing to have them while being on the run. Now that we’re not hiding, we’re actively trying for a baby.  I wonder if tonight he’ll break the news that he has a wife AND is trying to get said wife pregnant.

As I walk out of the closet, I bend down to adjust the ankle strap on my right heel.  I stand back up, smooth my dress, and look up at Steve.  He’s staring at me with a dopey smile on his face, love evident in his eyes.  “The dress itself is fine, you make it look perfect.”

“Ugh, Steve, quit it with the cheesy lines,” I protest while blushing.  Men used to say these things to their wives and girlfriends back in their time, it’s why Steve and Bucky can be prince charming when they want to be. Bucky more often than Steve now that he’s more like his old self, or so Steve says.

“I’m just being honest,” he defends, shrugging his shoulders.  He comes over to me and wraps his arms around my waist.  “You nervous?”

“What do you think?” I ask rhetorically.   I haven’t been this nervous since I first met Steve. In 2014, during a career conference once for journalists, the resort we were at was seized by terrorists.  One of my coworkers and I were the only ones from The New York Sun attending, despite the fact that it was in New York. I suppose they only wanted to go if the convention was out of town so they could get out of work and go on vacation. We were held in the resort’s Grand Hall for hours until the Avengers were able to save us.  There was a pretty big fight between Steve, Thor, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Black Widow, and the terrorists but luckily no one died.  I had been hurt in the kerfuffle, a broken finger, but after Steve wrapped my finger in a brace, he allowed me to interview him.  During the on-camera interview with him, Thor was teasing him in the background, doing silly faces and the “blah blah blah” hand motion.

Steve had asked for my name and number to “keep in touch and see if my finger heals correctly”.  When I gave it to him, he wrote it down in an old-fashioned address book. I hadn’t expected him to call me ever, but he did, asking for a date.  At first, he was weary of me being a journalist, in case things ended badly and I wrote a bad article about him.  However, a year later, he was thankful I was a journalist because I had access to all archived articles about the Winter Soldier.  After that happened, I knew he trusted me wholeheartedly and I felt the same. When the Accords started happening, I had access to the signing, to interview government people about it, and relayed that information to Steve about who he could trust.  That was how I found out about Norway not signing.

“They’ll love you,” he says.  “Bucky loves you, Tony will probably love you because he’ll think the interview prank you pulled on me was hilarious.  Nat and Wanda will be happy another girl is around.  Thor likes you, even Loki took a liking to you; he would love the interview prank. Clint will like you, Bruce will like you; no one has a reason to dislike you.

I turn around and take a good look at him. Royal blue dress shirt and black pants. His hair is up and I want nothing more than to run my fingers through it. He keeps me pressed to his body closely and I rub my hands along his chest. “If we didn’t have to go to dinner with your friends, I would be all over you right now.”

“Sorry, last night’s sex is just gonna have to hold you.” I give a little laugh.  “I’m just messing with you, I’ll be all over you tonight,” he growls, pulling my face up to his and kissing me deeply.  His kisses always leave me breathless, whether they’re passionate like this or small, chaste kisses when he’s leaving for work in the morning.  This however, is a whole new level and it’s making my heart go crazy.

Steve picks up the basket on the kitchen counter and we walk out the door. When we get to the car, he opens the door for me, ever the gentleman, before climbing in himself.  As he drives there, I fiddle with the hem of my dress.  I’m so worried I’ll talk too much or too little, or I’ll offend someone or embarrass Steve. What if I mention something about him that they don’t know?  Like that he bawled like a baby at Where the Red Fern Grows and Homeward Bound. Tony would probably love that but I don’t want to make Steve feel bad, I was crying too.

My biggest worry is what they’ll think of me after the interview.  Will they think it was funny or will they look at me as unprofessional for not telling them I had a conflict of interest with the Avengers?  I think Tony will like me, and maybe Nat, but I have no idea about the others.   I don’t think Bucky would come around as much as he does if he really didn’t like spending time with both Steve and me. Besides, sometimes when Steve is on a mission and he isn’t, he comes and keeps me company with old movies and our little two person book club we started.  His first choice of book was The Hobbit, which he told me he had read it when it first came out in 1937.  He was happy but not surprised to find out there were movies based on them.

When we drive up to the compound, Steve has a difficult time getting me through security.  They recognized my face and apparently Tony told them not to let me back. “Don’t alert Tony about her,” Steve said as he explained the situation to the guard.  He looked skeptical but agreed.

Steve led me upstairs, but not to the dining room where the team was waiting. He led me to his room.  “Well, well, well, Mr. Rogers, I thought we had to meet your friends in a little bit. Though I know you could probably get it done in ten minutes.”

“Ha ha ha, very funny,” he sarcastically replies.  “I just needed to grab…this,” he says, pulling his wallet out of his nightstand.  “Forgot it here yesterday.”

I simply hum in response to his explanation because I’m too busy looking around his room.  I’ve only seen it over FaceTime and in pictures.  It’s very different from our room at home. Our house, which we had just moved to from our apartment in preparation for a family, has a farmhouse theme.  Our master bedroom has a cream colored walls and one shiplap wall which our bed’s decorative headboard sits against, while our king sized bed is covered in a thick white comforter.  There’s a gray bench at the end of our bed and a blue and white rug.  There are nightstands on each side of the bed where we keep our small before bed items and our white, shared dresser is on the other side of the room, next to the door for our walk-in closet.  We have an attached bath with a clawfoot tub and a shower stall.  Our room lets in lots of natural light, which Steve loves because he likes to let the morning sun warm his back on his days off.

This room has a completely different feel to it. It’s much darker than our room at home. The walls are gray and his comforter is dark blue.  He has a black dresser across from his bed with a TV mounted to the wall above it. A plain bathroom with just a few essentials like shaving cream, a toothbrush, toothpaste, etc sit on the counter.  While our walls at home aren’t covered in pictures, we have more than the two he has here.  One is a picture of him and Bucky laughing and the other is of his parents before his father went to war; the war he never came back from.  Both pictures he has copies of hanging up at home. There’s a somewhat large window on the wall, but it’s covered with a blackout curtain.

I did most of the decorating at home, while this decorating was all him.   “Steve?” He looks at me.  “Do you not like our room at home?”

He furrows his eyebrows.  “No.  I love our place.  Why would you think that? Also, that’s very random to be bringing up now.”

“Well it’s just…this room is so different from ours at home.  I just didn’t know if you liked the darker colors better.  I want you to be comfortable in our room at home.  We can change it if you want it to look more like this one.”

He gives a little laugh and turns to face me.  “I didn’t decorate this room, Tony’s person did and he gave me this room because it’s the “most masculine”.  I prefer our room because it’s bright and spacious.  The fact that you decorated it is special to me because it’s like a present you gave to me.  Plus, I don’t have the best eye for interior design since everything I grew up with was either floral or had doilies.  But to be honest, this one feels a bit like a dungeon.  I just don’t bother to change it because I just sleep at home.  And I didn’t change it before I met you because even then I just used it to sleep, if I slept at all,” he looks into the distance, remembering all the nights he spent up in the gym, trying to beat the memories out of his mind.  He changes the subject, “Ok, so when we go down there I’m gonna have you wait around the corner and then you can come out when I tell you.”

He leads me downstairs and has me wait in a hallway. He walks around the corner and I hear Tony say, “Alright Capsicle, what’s the surprise you have for us?”

“Everybody just sit down and I’ll get to it in a minute,” he replies.  The sound of chairs scraping the floor is heard and Tony grumbles something about how he had been planning to have lasagna with Pepper tonight.  After a few seconds of silence, Steve comes back around the corner, grabs my hand, and leads me out. I nearly trip over my heels when we start moving and the pit in my stomach only grows.

At the sight of me, Tony and Natasha stand up startled. “What is she doing here?” Tony angrily asks.

“I thought you banned her,” Natasha adds on.

They all begin chattering, asking Steve why I’m here until Bucky calmly says, “Hey Y/N.”

Sam looks at Bucky confused, “You know her?”  Bucky nods his head and Sam looks at Steve, confused and a little hurt.  “Steve?”

“Everybody,” Steve starts, setting his hand on my lower back.  “This is Y/N, my wife.”

“WIFE?!” they all shout at different times.  Steve and I get bombarded with about a million questions at once.  When did we meet, why weren’t they invited to the wedding, when the wedding was, why I interviewed Steve the way I did, etc.

A loud thud on the balcony draws everyone’s attention. Thor is standing there in his armor and cape, holding his hammer.  “Sorry I’m late for team dinner,” he begins but stops when he sees me.  “Lady Y/N, I haven’t seen you since the wedding.  How has being married to the Captain been?”

“Oh you know, being married to a man-child is a struggle, but he’s hot enough for me to keep him around,” I joke.

“Thor, you know her too?” Tony asks.

“Yes I do.  Loki does too but I decided not to bring him tonight.  I think it would have been a bad idea.”

“Alright, Tony, sit down and I’ll explain everything,” Steve says.  Tony hesitantly sits down and everyone else follows.  Steve explained everything from why we met to why we couldn’t invite them to the wedding.

As he’s finishing telling the story and answering questions from the team, Tony’s bots bring in the pasta and Steve gets up and grabs something from the basket we brought.  He opens a bottle of wine and begins filling glasses.  When he gets to mine, I put my hand over my cup.  “Not tonight,” I say.

“But it’s your favorite,” he says.

“I can’t,” I say, not wanting to get in to it.

“C’mon, I won’t let you drink too much,” he says jovially.

“No, Steve…I can’t,” I say forcefully, looking up to make eye contact, hoping he understands without giving anything away.

He understands, but unfortunately his mouth works faster than his brain.  He looks down at my stomach and an excited smile spreads on his face.  “Are you…?”

I look around the table, seeing the Avengers all looking at us expectedly.  I look back at Steve and sheepishly nod.  He gasps and nearly drops the bottle, but luckily he realizes that when I reach out to catch it.

“A babe,” Thor says happily.  “Mazel tov.”

“They’re not Jewish,” Bucky says to Thor.  “Can’t wait to meet little James or Jamie.”  I give Bucky a look to let him know it’s not happening.  “Ok, Bucky works too.”

Tony puts his head in his hands looking like he’s about to pass out.  “Oh my god, we find out Steve is married to a woman I banned from the compound, and now that he’s going to be a father.”

I look at Steve to see him with tears in his eyes. Thankfully, Natasha saves us. “I’d like to propose a toast,” she says, standing up and holding her glass out.  “To Steve and Y/N, I hope you have a long, happy marriage and a healthy baby girl that you name Natasha.”

“That was the other thing we had planned to tell you tonight.  We’ve been trying for a baby.  I guess we were successful.”  Steve finishes pouring the drinks while everybody suggests baby names.  After a while, the conversation drifts to other things.  I enjoy listening to them, though they’re constantly quipping (mostly Tony).

Bucky, who’s sitting next to me, whispers to Steve, who’s on my other side, “Are we going to church this Sunday?”  The three of us go to church most Sundays. Steve and Bucky both grew up going to church, and it gives them some hope in a dark world.

Tony, who wasn’t involved in the conversation, cuts in. “Barnes, you could live at church and you still won’t go upstairs when you die.”

Bucky’s metal hand clenches so hard around his fork I’d be surprised if it isn’t bent.  He looks at Tony and gives him a very fake, overly sweet smile.  “Tony, I love how mean you are to me because it makes me feel less guilty about what I did to your parents.”

Tony stands up, slamming his hands on the table and Bucky mirrors him.  It looks like they’re about to attack but Steve intervenes.  “Tony, Bucky!  Tony, that was uncalled for and Bucky, that was unnecessary.  We know how you actually feel about your past and we’ve watched you try to change.”  Both men slowly sit back down.  “We have a guest.”  Bucky relaxes first, then Tony does.

“Y/N,” Tony addresses me.  “I need to apologize for my rudeness towards Bucky on my first night officially meeting you.  I was hoping not to fight with him tonight.”

“You call that a fight?  You should hear these two,” I say, gesturing to Steve and Bucky on either side of me.  “These guys can bicker with each other like an old married couple for hours about the smallest things.  Last week they had a 45 minute argument on how many times you can reuse a towel before it needs to be washed.”

“Wash it right away,” Steve mutters.

“Steve, we used to use towels so many times before we washed them in the 40s,” Bucky argues.

“Yeah but that was because if we needed to wash things, Mom had to heat up water and then hang-dry it on the balcony.  It’s easy to wash things now days.”

“Anyways,” Tony says, stopping their argument.  “I guess the interview you gave Cap makes sense now…somewhat.”

“Well I was pissed at him that day, so I think he deserved it.”

Tony smiles at Steve.  “You need to bring her around more often.”

Taglist: @imanuglywombat @infernal-fire @dottirose @carpediemm-18​

[m-y-fandoms]

1 Thing I Love & 1 Thing I Hate About EVERY Danganronpa Character Part 1

Part 2

SPOILERS FOR ALL THREE MAIN GAMES

I’d love to hear our opinions as well in the comments or my inbox or DM’s! If you try this trend with DR characters, tag me!

Sayaka Maizono

♡ Her passion for her career and friends.

✘ The way she tries to screw over Makoto when the game had just begun. Like wait and see what happens before screwing over such a great guy? Leon didn’t deserve it either.

Leon Kuwata

♡ His voice actor (English), and how real and human his execution was in that we all would be so scared and irrational. It was just so iconic and sad as it’s our first introduction to the death in this series and we all think: “shit, this is real... they are really killing these kids.” I didn’t think it would be that brutal, just seeing his body limp at the end with the haunting music.

✘ His design is disgusting. I hate how he looks.

Chihiro Fujisaki

♡ So innocent, so kind, so intelligent

✘ Shouldn’t have been killed for such a stupid reason, also they did Mondo dirty with that motive for killing as well. Just a mess. As for the actual character, Chihiro cries right off the bat when you do your introductions and that was kind of annoying to me personally.

Mondo Oowada

♡ He has a lot of respect, understanding and emotions for someone I thought would be a hard-ass douche biker.

✘ The worst motive to kill ever in a game where you know you’re getting executed if you’re found out. Like you’d be extra careful and that’s his reason to kill? Lazy writing.

Celestia Ludenberg

♡ Bad bitch energy and her goth lolita design.

✘ Manipulation and double murder. Bad bitch energy only goes so far. Confidence is different then selfishness. Also, of all the chapter 3 triple murders... the worst motive to kill.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

♡ Emotions: secure in his masculinity, able to cry, show emotions, and apologize when he’s wrong. He’s funny and likable.

✘ The Ishimondo white hair thing was stupid. Taka was fine on his own.

Hifumi Yamada

♡ Writing takes talent, fan fiction as much as any other style or genre. Also the talent of his voice actor (who also voices Kiibo/K1-B0).

✘ Literally everything else about him.

Sakura Oogami

♡ I love everything about her. I love her wisdom, loyalty, design, voice etc. Just step on me, mother.

✘ Why the hell would she ever agree to be a spy even if it meant the end of her dojo? I just don’t think she would do that rationally because she isn’t selfish. The others would suffer for her spying. She remedies this with redemption in her letter in chapter 4 but still she should’ve said no off the bat. Everyone had something to lose. The dojo wasn’t worth spying for monokuma. Also I just don’t think she would commit suicide. She can’t help the remaining students survive and redeem herself truly if she’s dead.

Kyoko Kirigiri

♡ Bad bitch energy, calm and collected when I could never be.

✘ Especially in future arc of the anime, damn can you show some emotion please? Through your words and expressions not just your actions. Sure she was willing to “die” for Makoto but like I just want more emotion from her sometimes, even in THH.

Makoto Naegi

♡ So pure. I Love Bryce Papenbrook. Makoto reminds me of Sora and I love his design.

✘ In THH I didn’t mind his innocence but in the Danganronpa 3 future arc anime, when people started straight up abusing him and accusing him, he needed to grow a little backbone.

Byakuya Togami

♡ Love my dad, king shit, also love how over the progression of the games and animes he becomes a little more kind to his friends.

✘ Why the fuck did he mess with Chihiro’s body? Just so cruel and disrespectful.

Yasuhiro Hagakure

♡ Funny magic man. Sexy voice.

✘ Please. Please Hiro use your brain just once. Why do we have to prove Kyoko isn’t a ghost?!

Toko Fukawa

♡ Character development in UDG and I love Genocider.

✘ Putting down herself and others constantly gets old in THH.

Aoi Asahina

♡ Love her voice actress and her personality

✘ We really just gonna get everyone killed in chapter 4 huh? Surely you know they don’t all deserve that.

Junko Enoshima

♡ A very memorable villain with great hair and design.

✘ I just can’t stand her. I hate her so much.

Mukuro Ikusaba

♡ Her mercenary background is super cool as a concept.

✘ Too bad it wasn’t explored nearly enough.

Hajime Hinata

♡ Seeing the protagonist be a little less naive, innocent and positive than Makoto was a refreshing change, although I loved Makoto. I liked Hajime’s cynicism and expressions that sometimes just screamed “this shit again, huh?”

✘ I enjoy the way Izuru looks but I hate him as a character. He is sexy to look at but Hajime is just a better character overall

Teruteru Hanamura

♡ His love for his family and mother especially is so cute and heart breaking if you know the full story.

✘ He needs to know when to dial it back and quit with the perversions. And no it’s not just how he looks, Miu needs to chill at times, too.

Twogami

♡ I feel like he genuinely cares about his friends, just hides it well

✘ His death felt like a cop out and poorly written. It just didn’t sit right with me. Also his design is disgusting to me, his outfit and such.

Mahiru Koizumi

♡ Loyal to her close friends.

✘ I just have no interest in her as a character and I find her boring.

Peko Pekoyama

♡ Loyalty. Loyalty is something I value very highly in every form of relationship. Peko is also very hot.

✘ Come on girl... I know how you were raised but you should’ve known Fuyuhiko didn’t think of you as just a tool and you two should’ve expressed your true feelings long ago. Like even in secret. How do you live like this? Also I feel like killing Mahiru could’ve been avoided with a calm talk.

Ibuki Mioda

♡ Cute design, positive vibes.

✘ Cringe sometimes in the way she talks.

Hiyoko Saionji

♡ Beautiful character design and some very good insults and snarky remarks at times.

✘ Just irredeemably mean and annoying. Even when you do her free time events she is just so annoying.

Mikan Tsumiki

♡ I like her design as well as her hair, expressions, sprites and clothing.

✘ I hate her. I just hate her whether she’s in her true psycho form or timid stuttering form. She’s just annoying in my opinion.

Nekomaru Nidai

♡ So supportive, can hold my drink at a party. Respects everyone and wants the best for them.

✘ Bro Mechamaru was a stupid plot point. I just couldn’t stand looking at him and couldn’t take it seriously. Still sad when he died though.

Chiaki Nanami

♡ From chapter 5 of sdr2 on she is impossible not to love if you didn’t already. Just the selflessness, the sadness of the reveal and execution, how she returns to help Hajime at the end???? I love her. I love her hair design, color palette, her personality, everything.

✘ I’m bitter and miserable about her being the only class member to actually die (the despair arc anime) also her falling asleep at random times is kind of odd and she doesn’t seem to be like that later on in the game??? Like it seemed like a cheap joke but not actually who she is? Hard for me to explain.

Gundham Tanaka

♡ King shit, couldn’t praise him enough. He’s sexy, loves animals, and is funny as hell sometimes. His voice actor is a saint and a cool dude and I named my guinea pigs after the Dark Devas (yes I know they are hamsters in the games.)

✘ Come on dude. I get that being from Hell and magic and having evil powers is your shtick, but we all know that you and Nekomaru sacrificed yourselves so the others wouldn’t starve. We know you care about your classmates. There comes a time when it’s time to let personas and facades fade and be true to your heart. I just feel like him denying he cared at the end hurt. We all know he cared. I didn’t like how he was haughty until the end. He deserved better. I love him.

Nagito Komaeda

♡ I love him so much. So cunning and intelligent, always a step ahead. And he’s big sexy.

✘ Him killing himself in chapter 5 hurt me so bad I was like in denial for days. Also hate how Bryce Papenbrook gives him a raspy stoner psycho voice in the game then a light airy higher-pitched voice in the despair arc anime. It just bothers me. I love his voice still but the inconsistency just hurts my OCD

Sonia Nevermind

♡ I love that she’s so interested in her passions and love her feelings for Gundham

✘ Her outfit and bow are atrocious. Also why didn’t she start liking and talking to Gundham sooner on? Their romance bloomed late and it would’ve made for a better chapter 4 ending if they were a bit closer.

Kazuichi Souda

♡ Cool design and outfit, love his voice (also voices Kaito in V3) and his backstory is relatable at times. He’s also very human in that he’s scared a lot of the time or insecure or blames others in panicked situations. It’s not always a good thing but it’s human and realistic.

✘ Gosh he can be so annoying. Sometimes flirting or whining too much is well... too much.

Akane Owari

♡ Strong-willed and definitely someone I would be friends with

✘ What the hell is her outfit? Gymnasts and athletes don’t wear that shit. Stop objectifying her when it doesn’t even make the product or plot better. Like there’s absolutely no point to making her dress that way. I was a gymnast for 15 years. Even those who do parkour (which Akane seems to do more often than actual gymnastics in the anime and game) don’t wear what she wears. Also she’s underrated.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

♡ I love him. He’s the DR character I’m most like out of all the games and anime. Tenko is a close second. I think he’s adorable, love his character arc, development, redemption, and love his voice.

✘ In the anime/despair arc, Fuyuhiko is not done justice. He doesn’t get enough lines, has a different voice actor, just doesn’t give off the same vibes.

Izuru Kamakura

♡ Sexy man long hair good.

✘ Boring character. I wish he were just Hajime.

Kaede Akamatsu

♡ Loyalty and leadership are such attractive qualities in her. Also she faced her death with such class and dignity and I respect her because I could never.

✘ Some of the voice lines Erika does for her are just weird and cringe. Just random moans or grunts... I don’t know it’s like when Ann Takamaki from Persona 5 (also voiced by Erika) makes suggestive noises as well. Just grinds my gears. Also hate her outfit down to the hair pins.

Shuichi Saihara

♡ I love his nasally voice. I love his design and he’s so adorable. I love how emotional and compassionate he can be. He ties with Makoto for favorite protag of mine.

✘ That sprite where he sniffs his hand. And his ugly ass hat.

Rantarou Amami

♡ Sexy man, sexy voice, sexy piercings

✘ Ugly outfit, and wasted potential

Ryoma Hoshi

♡ I respect him and feel bad for his outlook on life and for how poorly he views himself. I love his little hat as well and he’s the first “different styled” character (Hifumi, Bandai, Teruteru) that I liked the design of.

✘ I hate when he says “got a long ways to go,” it’s overused and annoying, and wish he gave himself more credit. Also hate that when you first meet him he warns you that he’s killed people and is dangerous to be around. Come on buddy, you know you wouldn’t hurt your friends. Stop pushing them away.

Kirumi Tojo

♡ Competence, well rounded, skillful

✘ Boring as hell. I wouldn’t waste one free time event on her.

Angie Yonaga

♡ Dark skin, super cute, love her talent as an artist myself.

✘ Gives religious people a bad name and is super manipulative which I hate.

Tenko Chabashira

♡ I relate to her and feel bad when she’s misunderstood. She’s a good person deep down. Also love her sprites.

✘ There’s more cunning, funny and clever ways to write her digs at men.

Korekiyo Shunguuji

♡ I’m in love with this man. Long hair, voice, mystery, mask, intelligence, passion, talent.

✘ He definitely was a victim of abuse and a lot of people refuse to see that and just hate him. Team Danganronpa should’ve given him a redemption arc where he realized his sister abused him and changed.

Gonta Gokuhara

♡ I love his design except for his suit. Also he’s so cute and naive. I cried for his trail.

✘ No need talk like caveman. Better way to do this.

Kokichi Ouma

♡ Like Nagito, I value his intelligence and crazy cunning.

✘ Shouldn't have died. Also shouldn’t have manipulated Gonta. That was just cruel.

Miu Iruma

♡ She has her hilarious moments and her death surprised me and was sad.

✘ Sometimes she lacks basic empathy, i.e. calling Tenko “Tencrotch” when she just fucking died.

Maki Harukawa

♡ Amazing character development. Didn’t see her surviving until the end at the start. Also her love and passion for Kaito.

✘ “Do you wanna die?” gets old.

Kaito Momota

♡ Just the overall best bro you could ever have.

✘ Has some toxic masculinity issues and anger issues.

K1-B0

♡ Pretty much everything about him. His design, his attitude and personality, especially how amazing and cool he is chapter 5 onward, his execution made me so sad. He’s so innocent and funny without trying.

✘ When you do his free time events he’s very arrogant and just talks about himself a lot... it seems odd and not similar to the Kiibo we see throughout the game.

Himiko Yumeno

♡ Super cute design, love her voice and “Nyeh...” and her sprites. Her character development is great as well.

✘ Why did they take so long to make her important and likable?

Tsumugi Shirogane

♡ An excellent and well hidden reveal

✘ I hate her. So annoying, from the voice to the references and her personality.

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 12 Reactions: Mando goes on a self care sidequest with friends and now the Razor Crest can fly again

- before we talk about ANYTHING else I have to mention once again: 

shut UP they have a statue for IG-11 in the town square!!!!! right outside the school like he’s guarding it!!! I am  c r y i n g

- that opening scene was Everything; I have had exactly this type of conversation with my dad so many times when I was a kid and he was fixing up our about-to-fall-apart house (though he’s an electrician so he wouldn’t have let me within fifteen kilometers of anything electrical that was still powered lol. it’s okay tho let’s just assume that star wars tech has extra fail safes for these things that we don’t, the baby is clearly fine)  

callout post for Din Djarin: does not own furniture, literally sits on a crate in the middle of the cargo hold to eat dinner, has presumably been living like this for decades, help him 

them sipping soup perfectly in sync 😭😭😭 (for some reason I find it so funny that din lifts up and then lowers the helmet for every mouthful fsaldkfhjsadfh it’s such a... I almost want to say dainty? way of doing it and my heart is full of so much affection)   

I wonder if they’ve been eating together like this for a while or if it’s din doing just a tiny bit of testing his boundaries now that he knows there are different schools of thought on the helmet thing to see how he feels about it? the baby is extremely curious, but that could also be because he’s seen people take the  helmet off completely now and made the connection that presumably his dad has a face above the chin under there too lol 

-

grandpa greef... things I didn’t know I needed but am delighted to get

the way the mando music goes soft and relaxed and almost playful when din spots greef and cara? fcking kills me ludwig göranson going for my throat once again

 - 

“hmmm why isn’t this working... the puppy eyes usually work on dad eventually this is unprecedented & concerning” 

a baby committing baby crimes through the force and getting away with it mostly scot-free... delightful, wonderful in every way    

‘batuu!’ ;_________; baby has a word for food?

- 

din’s Dad Instincts kicking in... I’m emotional over how casually protective he is with things like this, and that he showed signs of it even before meeting the baby (he’s also the last one to stay behind on the platform to make sure the rest of them make it out safely before they start running.... your honor im love this man more than anything he is Dad)

that soft steady protective-but-not-possessive masculinity baBEY 

- I am entranced by the difference between din’s fighting style in the last episode -- when he was continually on the back foot and out of sync with the people he fought with -- and in this episode, where he’s back in one man army mode. (he does take on sort of a protective role when he fights with friends -- he’s not quite fighting with them all the time he’s more like a shepherding dog circling them and making sure they’re okay lol) turns out he fights much better with -- for! -- people he actually trusts and knows and likes and who aren’t manipulating him huh :)   

- the mythrol dude says in the first episode that he’s a ‘fledgling’, and it makes everything about him so much funnier when you assume he’s his species equivalent of a teenager/twentysomething fsdfsdjkfhsd (he oh so 100% sold din out at the beginning there tho :( the most charitable interpretation is that he didn’t quite know the scope of it -- he did seem just as surprised as the rest of them that gideon isn’t dead, so maybe he thought that weird alien mechanic dude wanted to know about the crest for more mundanely nefarious reasons?)

they are kind of shitty towards him tho I feel a bit bad for him haha 

- at least din knows moff gideon is still alive now and can take appropriate precautions as far as possible? on the other hand he doesn’t know about the tracker and I am so scared help  

- man I wish gina carano wasn’t such a godawful person so I could appreciate cara dune’s overarms and interesting character development in peace but as it stands... yeah 

- @ all the people whining about when we get to ahsoka... meet me in the ring for dishonorable combat I am smol and sort of skinny these days but I have decades of pent up rage and no compunctions about fighting dirty on my side lol 

listen... I love ahsoka as much as the next person, but we already have two shows’ worth of content for her. just let me have my thirty minutes a week of slice of life dad and baby nonsense without it being overshadowed by Plot and more established characters okay (and also if the rumours are right about who is going to play her... double  y e a h  that’s going to be fun to navigate emotionally :/)    

- I actually really liked that they went back to nevarro to answer some old questions (where did those empire dudes even come from?? what’s going on with pershing and why am I so weirdly happy to see him again when clearly he is bad news??? what do they need the baby for exactly? how are cara and greef but mostly greef now sadly doing?) and update that whole storyline a bit, while opening even more questions. also stop midichlorian-counting yodito’s blood you fucking creeps

the (likely) midichlorian mention didn’t bother me that much because this show already thrives on the tension between the mythic and mystical and the weirdly mundane and realistic, it’s the one star wars thing I trust to handle the Force the same way without losing the magic of it

- seeing the armorer’s forge like that was honestly upsetting to me haha, I know the forge isn’t what makes her what she is but still 

-

greef karga is a huge bitch and I like him so much

I do like greef’s character growth, though -- it feels a bit like some older and more idealistic (well comparatively) part of him has finally gotten out from under the empire’s boot and restored itself, it’s sweet. he’s doing administrative things that have the whole town blooming! there are plants and living things thriving there now! he wants to establish a safe trading hub!

- f for this poor harried new republic officer, captain carson teva, who along with trapper wolf is apparently responsible for policing the entire outer rim haha

I like the complicated tension between him and the other characters here -- both sides have very good reasons to hold the points of view they do and it’s easy to see why it’s so hard for them to work together but at least this guy is trying to be fair about it     

- the way they all immediately agreed when din went straight into ‘get. baby. NOW everything else is secondary’ dad mode and let him go off on his own even tho he would probably have been real useful to have around T______T friendshipppp 

baby FINALLY strapped in securely I gave a little shout of triumph haha

the way he was like ‘free cookies! (everything’s free if you steal it #baby yoda life hacks) helping dad with stuff! high speed dog fights! BEST! DAY! EVER!’ through the whole scene right up until he was finally sick but it’s okay because dad is here and will fix it even while he’s driving... don’t even look at me I can’t 

- din being in a much more stable and happy place after going to friends for help (and the way it’s reflected in his ship! my theory still stands strong haha)....... mngh im not crying give this man some community he so clearly needs it 

[vivithefolle]

Hi Vivi, can you share some thoughts on the "Hermione deserves to be/should have married to XYZ because she is way too good for Ron" mentality of this fandom??

I’m gonna copy-paste a Quora answer of mine, because recycling is important!

Claiming that Ron is “out of Hermione’s league” is a statement rooted in sexism, classism and probably a bunch of other -isms.

It might seem like I’m just throwing buzz-words around but let me explain.

First off, the sexism.

Oh, the sexism.

As I’ve pointed it out in yet another one of my answers  (I’m so sorry for drowning you all in a plethora of links), Ron is very much a female-coded male character.

Ron is emotional, wears his heart on his sleeve, has anxieties and inadequacies, walks off in order to cool down, has a temper, puts other people before his needs, and pretty much adopts Harry when he rescues him in the second book. He’s the Heart of the Trio: he doesn’t rely on sole logic, he can believe something without proof, he is sensitive and thus is the easiest to hurt emotionally.

Whether you call it a “beta male”, a “wuss”, “defying gender roles” or a “soft boy” is your own business, but the core of it is that Ron doesn’t meet the standards for people’s vision of a “desirable” masculine figure.

The little things Ron quietly performs in the books - when he helps Harry into his pyjamas in Chamber of Secrets because Harry’s arm is bloop; when he’s worrying about Hermione’s whereabouts in Prisoner of Azkaban; when he helps Harry unwind after his visions in Goblet of Fire; when he puts food onto Harry’s plate and wakes him up from his nightmares in Order of the Phoenix; when he beams that Hermione was “perfect, obviously” when she passes her Apparition test - all those caring gestures don’t seem like much, but if you bother to think about it, they paint an enormous picture.

Who gets Hermione to stop overworking while making her feel good about her accomplishments? Who comforts Harry from his nightmares and cares for him in the dead of the night, when nobody is awake? Who makes sure his friends are healthy and happy? Who wards off the dark and depressing thoughts, be it with his fists or a joke?

It’s Ron.

When you think about it, “traditional masculinity” in Harry Potter is as much frowned upon as “traditional feminity” is - which sometimes bites Rowling in the butt when you remember how she obviously seems to consider that Hermione and Ginny are the only desirable kind of girls.

Vernon Dursley? The entrepreneur “king of the household” prejudiced suburbian middle-class Dad? Fits in the usual tropes of traditional masculinity.

Dudley Dursley? The typical “boys will be boys” spoiled middle-class only child who’s the apple of his parents’ eyes and even takes up boxing, as if he wasn’t traditionally masculine enough.

Draco Malfoy? See Dudley, but toss in “upper-class posh aristocrat bully who doesn’t like to get his hands dirty so he has henchmen do it for him because he’s too rich for this sh-t”, would remind you of a few Christian Greys or Gatsbys.

Dolores Umbridge? Oh no, cat pictures, decorative plates, talks to teens as if they’re babies and PINK, SO MUCH PINK!!! So disgustingly feminine!!

Rowling very much frowns upon traditional gender roles - with Molly Weasley being an exception because Rowling feels very strongly about being a mother, and relates to Molly a lot.

Right - so, being a beautiful mess of paradoxes and contradictions (a “soft boi” who also punches bullies in the face, a fussy mother-hen who swears like a sailor, a tall athlete with badass scars on his arms who’s nurturing and sweet; in short, a wonderfully human character), Ron is obviously going to be a polarizing character. You painfully relate to him and get defensive when he’s criticized, you feel his characterization hits a bit too close to home so you hate him, or you disregard him completely because you can’t see anything “special” about him…

Now, onto another very, very sexist point that is often made.

People say that Hermione “deserves better” than Ron, often claiming that they “aren’t intellectual equals”, then citing Harry (who is mistaken as being some sort of slumbering genius but honestly, the kid is really a bit daft) or Draco (since apparently, being rich must equal to being intelligent) or, god forbid, Snape (because he’s a teacher and teachers are meant to be clever).

Soooo, I could go the loooooong way and pull out all the receipts that prove that none of these characters are perfectly intellectually matched to Hermione…

Or I could go the long way and simply give you this: this obsession with finding an “intellectual equal” for Hermione reflects the mentality of “women are not allowed to be better at something than their husband”.

Yep.

A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.

Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength. - credit to @lytefoot

People don’t want Hermione to be with a man who’s her “equal.” They want her to be with a man who can be The Man so she can know the contentment of being The Woman.

But, with this sexist line of thought, how do we justify how Ron is supposed to be such a bad match for Hermione? Because if it was just about mere sexism, Romione would surely be more popular. Imagine! Ron happily raising the children, being a house-husband and proud of it, while Hermione is out there fighting for justice in the wizarding world! What a power-couple, defying norms and gender roles and not being the least bit conscious of it, prime OTP material for sure! So why do people still want Hermione to put Harry, Draco, or god forbid², Snape in Ron’s place? Is this an irrational hatred of redheads? An Harmionian’s delirious wet dream? A failure to separate the actors from their characters?

It’s all this and, quite frankly, something more: the inherent classism that comes with Ron’s status as an explicitly working-class coded character.

I know, I know, “Vivian! Calm down with the buzzwords, you’re starting to sound like an online pretend-feminist magazine!”

Or “Come on, people who don’t ship Ron and Hermione together aren’t all sexist or classist!”

Of course, of course! I know that! I’m not implying that!

But some of the “reasons” why they claim that Ron and Hermione can’t work - are extremely classist in nature, that’s just it!

Come on, think about it! What are the Number Ones arguments people always pull against Ron? Or the most common Ron-bashing tropes (look at fanfics and watch the number of stories that use at least one of those)?

Ron is stupid/mediocre

Ron is lazy/useless

Ron resents his wife’s hard work/success

Ron is a homophobe

Ron is a drunkard

Ron (the big prude who at 16 had never kissed a girl and sees a first kiss as the prelude to a wedding) is massively oversexed and cheats on Hermione with anything that moves

Not only do these “reasons” completely ignore ALL OF RON’S CHARACTERIZATION - except for the “lazy” bit but come off it, all teenagers are lazy and Hermione’s the exception to the rule - but it matches perfectly with the negative stereotypes associated with working-class white men in fiction.

It’s also very funny to note how many (assumedly middle-class or financially secure) fans look down on Ron for being “whiny” or “greedy” when he expresses the desire to have money of his own, or blame his parents for “not knowing when to stop” or “being irresponsible”, or even look down on them for being “too proud to accept help”!! Also how shocked people are when Ron dares to stand up for himself when Hermione or Harry act badly towards him. How dare this country boy not listen to the wisdom of his social “betters”?

So, obviously, because our Heroine can’t go with a Nasty, Mediocre Working-Class Man, she must be paired off with someone of Proper Status: say, a Hero that was raised in a middle-class home and might be a bit psychologically damaged but it’s nothing all those gold coins in his vault can’t fix; or this Rich Posh Aristocrat who actively rooted for her death, he’s a little bit eccentric and has some exotic pet-names to call you, but I’m sure you’ll learn to love him and will unearth the gold coins in his bank account… I mean, the heart of gold that lies within the surface; oh, why not a Way Too Big An Age Difference Teacher if you’re looking for a “cultured man” who has zero things in common with you; we can also bring Convenient Plot Device Famous Rich Foreign Athlete if you want some diversity and you don’t feel original!

But we can’t - oh, we mustn’t let her be with this Terrible Working-Class Boy! His brothers are fine, they have money, they have jobs, so they’re obviously Not As Mediocre. But let our precious Hermione be with this Just-Got-Out-Of-School hooligan? She can’t possibly be in love with him! You’ll see darling, you’ll get bored eventually! He’s too mediocre for you, you deserve a man who outclasses you - I mean, who can provide for you! You’re a fragile little flower who scars people for life when she’s not happy with them, what makes you think that this boy can possibly handle you even though he’s done so for the past seven years?

You wanted it, you got it.

People are shallow, have misconceptions about Ron’s character that they are unwilling to correct or use classist and sexist arguments to try to make it so that either Ron is the Devil himself / Hermione is a higher kind of being that can only orgasm if sufficiently “intellectually stimulated” / what-have-you.

[lokidrabbles]

Bitter-sweetness (Loki x Reader)

Loki comes to visit the reader after they send out a drunk text

A/N: Another part of my Loki x Reader Winter Series! This is also an AU after Ragnarok where the Asgardians have settled on Earth. As always, Gender Neutral Reader! Warnings: Language, Alcohol Use, Angst, Implied smut

You considered yourself to be a responsible person to a certain degree. In fact, you prided in your ability to make rational decisions about your day to day adult musings. Yet here you were, alone in your home, a whole bottle of red wine downed, complete inhibited from making sure you didn’t make a terrible decision.

This was your first holiday away from home. Living in the big apple had its perk, especially since you managed to land a job working at Stark Industries but living alone, while your closest relative lived three states away was not as glamorous as the shows made it out to be. You swore you would be able to handle it, after all, this had been quite a successful year for you career wise. And yet, the horrible emptiness expanded the moment you finished speaking with your sibling over the phone.

Reality hit. You were here alone, and that was just scratching the surface of it all. You had gotten along well with your co-workers and the supers you would run into often but it wasn’t the same. There was no way you would budge and plea for them to spend this ‘merry’ time with you, humiliating. And so, while not the healthiest of coping skills, you drowned your depression away with a little lady known as Lambrusco.

Being a lightweight, the red wine quickly put you in an inebriated state, fixated on feeling sorry for yourself and the impeccable loneliness.  You cried, you laughed, and you sang depressing melodies in effort to bring your spirits up, but to no avail. You eventually ended up surfing on social media through your phone, twisting your mouth at the cloy pictures of families and friends celebrating together in their homes. What a bunch of bullshit. You resisted the temptation to instant message your old friends, knowing it would just be filled with a myriad of cuss words.

Your mind then wandered on texting your co-workers, clinging onto a childish hope of maybe one of them coming to your rescue and joining you in drinks and sobs. You flipped through your contact list and came across your most recently added. It was a 5 digit number, but that wasn’t weird for you. Tony would often have these weirdly set up numbers for some of the team members to maintain contact without having calls traced by ill intending foes, and you ended up with some of them through exchanges and other occasions. You weren’t really sure how it worked, but it was kind of like a trading card game you had with your co-workers. Obtain Thor’s number, Caps’ number, Dr. Banner’s number, Romanov’s number. It was stupid but it passed the time.

You squinted your eyes, attempting to decipher which Avenger’s number this was. However with the room spinning and your happy-go-lucky state, you didn’t bother to figure out who it was, and you began to text the unknown number with the best of your ability.

Helloo,,,,this is (y/n) and....comeover I have fun stuff to do...:) :) :)

Perfect. And with much gusto, you tapped on that send button, throwing your phone casually on the side of your couch. It wasn’t like you really expected anyone to answer or to come over, and it wasn’t like you really cared at the moment. Without any hesitation, you reached for the wine bottled and took a last swig, with only drops remaining of the sweet warm nectar. You felt the relief in your throat and closed your eyes, slowly drifting into a quick nap, completely disheveled on your couch.

Not ten minutes would pass before you heard a loud and obnoxious pounding on your door. The loud rapping sent you flying off your couch and in a frenzy. You cleared your throat and scurried over to your front door.

“I’m going, I’m going!” You yelled, not having a moment to sort  out what was actually happening. But the room continued to spin, and you figured you were still heavily drunk.

You undid your locks and open the door wide open, only to be greeted by the cold winter wind and the last person you had expected at the moment.

“What in the seven realms are you trying to prove here?” It was Loki, standing tall and menacing over you. He held a small cellular phone between his thumb and index finger, showing you the drunk text you had sent him.

It was Loki’s number. You had completely forgotten that your coworker had given you the number after laughing about Tony giving Loki a method of communication and how Loki was entirely clueless on how to use the device or what it’s purpose even was. Your coworker had a know in with the security manager who programmed Loki’s phone and got his contact number through suggestive means. Again, part of the stupid little game, and you had mindlessly added the number onto your contacts.

Fuck. You guessed he had figured out how to use it.

“Ah, shit.” You sputtered casually. “I didn’t think anyone would have come!”

He raised an eyebrow, looking at you incredulously. “You’re wobbling.”

Wobbling. Loki’s accent was distracting enough most of the time. But hearing him say a silly world like wobbling sent you in a laughing spree. It was uncontrollable laughter, where the more you stared at him the funnier it would become. It was apparent that Loki didn’t find this funny in the slightest.

“Wobbling, pfft. Woooosh.” You retorted, making fluttering movements with your fingers.

“Wait.” He began, his mind beginning to calculate and process. And finally it hit him. “You’re drunk. Are you foolish or just this stupid?”

“Both maybe.”

Loki groaned, shoving you inside your living room and closing the door behind him. Immediately he began to smell the heavy scent of alcohol coming from you, as well as quickly taking notice of the empty wine bottle and wine juices leaked on your coffee table. Also you wouldn’t stop laughing, continuing to giggle until you fell backwards onto you couch.

Loki narrowed his eyes at you. “Having a good time here? I see you’ve laid waste to that wine bottle.”

“Oh yeah.” You responded proudly, throwing your arms up in the air. “Nothing else to do here, but to see just how much I can drink till I stop making sense. Which is...now!”

“Really now?” He responded sardonically. “You look like an absolute mess.”

“Screw you.” You dejected at him knowing full well that wouldn’t offend him in the slightest. “Why are you even here if you’re just gonna be like this.”

“Would you rather I leave then?” His arms were crossed over his chest now, long legs and feet firmly planted on the ground. He looked very intimidating, but perhaps because of your state, he also looked extremely masculine and handsome. You never noticed how broad his shoulders actually were, or how defined his jawline was. You imagined being held in those strong arms and hummed pleasantly.

“No, I like you being here.” You said in a sing song manner, swinging your head back and forth.

“Are you sure that’s not the alcohol talking for you? I wouldn’t imagine you meant to send that message directly to me.”

Loki took a seat across from you on the couch, continuing to shoot you looks of improvement, but concern as well. You continued to fixate on his looks despite this, suddenly wanting to see how his skin would feel on your hands.

“It wasn’t really meant for anyone. But I actually feel a lot better knowing it was you.” Even through your mashed up words, this was actually true. If it was Tony or a coworker or, lord forbid, anyone of the Avengers receiving this and coming over to lecture you about your substance use, your humiliation would have no bounds. There was still a sense of a professional relationship to maintain with them and if those boundaries were broken, maybe that would mean your job as well.

However, the moment you saw Loki standing at your door, you worry had instantly vanished. It was funny, but Loki was the only person who you could be yourself with. There wasn’t any authoritative nature to him, and you felt you didn’t need to prove anything while he was in your vicinity. He was just as lost as you were during this year in dealing with Stark Industries and the team. Also you both had bonded a bit with having a natural disdain for large crowds and ‘stupid’ people in general. You weren’t proud to be shit talking about others, but it made some work days bearable for you.

“Perhaps this is the moment where I as why you’ve drunk an entire bottle of red wine on your own. Even I can tell your natural tolerance isn’t very good.” Loki said, motioning for you to begin describing whatever had tormented you for this evening.

You sputtered again. “It’s stupid. I didn’t even mean to drink the whole thing. It just happened. Stupid bottle.” You really didn’t want to talk about, fearing how much control you would lose. You couldn’t put Loki in an awkward position, with you bawling over the fact that you miss your family or that you feel completely alone in such a large city. You knew Loki’s situation, you knew how much conflict he had experienced during the past year, what with settling down on Earth after Asgard was destroyed. Your human woes paled in comparison to what both him and Thor had encountered, why minimize that?

“Are you not comfortable with discussing this with me?” He asked, his voice firm. There was no malice in it but some sense of ease.

You shook your head. “I am sooo comfortable with you. I’m just not really comfortable with myself.”

“I’m not sure what you mean by that.” He continued, but you remained quiet mostly because you began to feel sick. “But I do know, even in Asgard, we drank for both our victories and for our losses.”

You pondered on this for a bit and then sniggered. “I suppose a loss for myself. Because lord knows no one wants to be around me.” Here we go. You were beginning to be dramatic once more, drowning in your melancholy. “But noooo I have a lot of friends and people who like me right? Because that’s what everyone expects right? For me to be content with everything?”

Loki remained quiet but not for a loss at words, but simply because he knew listening would be the best way to tackle this situation. His body language changed and he turned his body to face you, full attention and focus. But of course, you were far too deep in your downward spiral to have noticed.

“I’m supposed to be this independent, responsible adult who knows what they want or want to do.” You continued, your voice beginning to break. “But I still feel lost. And stupid. And wobbly.” You sniggered again, not being able to hold back to stupidity of the word.

Loki rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why humans always enjoy over complicating their own personal matters when the solution is staring them right at the face.”

You stopped giggling and furrowed your brows. “How am I over complicating things? I feel like shit because it’s been a whole year of me living in this city and I haven’t made one single valuable connection with anyone. Don’t be telling me that is an easy thing to solve.”

It was as if you had completely forgotten you were still tipsy.

“You do realize you could have just contacted me.” His words seemed to have echoed across your living room, sending a strong pang of guilt into your chest.

“What are you talking about?” You words meshed with one another, unable to articulate your frustration.

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “I really do have to hold your hand for everything don’t I? As long as I am here in this forsaken city working for that piece of human garbage that is Stark, you don’t have to spend your evenings alone.”

You blink in total bewilderment, not really buying into his intentions or his words. “Don’t do that. Don’t just do that because you feel sorry for my pathetic ass.”

“Are you daft?” Loki responded with an elevated voice.  “What indication of pity have I presented for you? What you need to realize is you have absolutely no reason to have this display of misery if companionship is what you seek.”

Your eyes widened as your focused in on the details of his face. Even though he had become quite angered by your stubbornness, he continued to be beautiful and ridiculously attractive to you. A strand of his dark locks fell over his face, making him even more desirable than you could have imagined. His piercing blue-green eyes were just as captivating as the last time you saw them. What would you have sacrificed for the opportunity to absolutely melt into him? To take in his scent or his heat. Maybe to even dig your face into the crook of his neck, providing you with much security.

Evidently your body began to move on its own as you leaned forwards to him, plopping yourself ungainly between his arms and his chest. Loki instinctively pulled backwards only causing you to fall further onto him until you were completely laid down upon his chest. He kept his arms slightly above you, unsure whether you’d be fine with him placing them on your back or on your waist. You sighed contently, nuzzling your face and fists into his chest. He was very warm, and you could hear the thumping of a heart deep within him.

“This...is not the best position to be in.” He said, a minute after laying there awkwardly with you.

“Heeey Loki.” You began, some mischief in your tone. “Let’s do it.”

You swore you heard him gulp heavily. “No. Especially with your inebriated state.”

You chuckled, your best attempt at being sly. “I’m sorry I didn’t think about you at first. I guess it didn’t cross my mind that you’d want to do anything with me.”

You finally felt his hands gently rest on your back, fully trusting of your total comfort with him.

“I’m going to reveal something to you but I don’t want you to tell anyone else. This is solely for your ears.” He began, piquing at you interest.

You plopped your head upwards to have a better look at him. “Oh?”

“I don’t come to New York solely for Stark. In fact, he’s become quite disdainful of me as you know. I go out of my way to come here because of you.”

An uncontrollable smile formed over your face. But again, that could have been the alcohol.

“You’re a foolish human. But...you are my foolish human. And you don’t need to be alone as long as I am here. I know how much this time of the year means for you, and I wouldn’t want to see you like this again.”

Before he could continue, you lifted your upper body to plant a much desired kiss on Loki’s lips. You didn’t care if you still reeked of cheap wine or if it was an impulse of your needs, but you deeply desired to still feel him skin on yours. You became even more eager once you felt him return your kiss, aggressively and longingly. His lips were so soft and tasteful and you pleaded mentally for him to explore your tongue with his. You pulled back briefly, your eyes watery and full of drunken bliss.

“I love you so much.” You said without much thought or meaning. You knew you didn’t fully convey those emotions yet, but the timing felt right.

He stared at you with his mouth slightly agape, his eyes also full of bliss and desire. “Don’t say that just yet. But I do too.”

The remainder of the evening was spent quietly as Loki adjusted himself to a much more comfortable position where he could fully encircle his arms around your frame. You melted into him, greedily closing your eyes and drifting away into a peaceful slumber inside his hold. You continued to be lulled by the thumping on his chest, your own matching his in full connection.

[justkending]

Just Roommates. Chapter 24.

Series Summary: These two college friends have had years to grow together. Each being the others support system, adventure buddy, movie night partner, and dorky roommates. That is until things start coming to a new light in their relationship. At least for him… Is there something else there? Is it possible? Were these feelings always there?

Pairing: (Modern) Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning: Fluff, Adulting, sexy-times mentions, language.

Word Count: 2000+

A/N: A little short and fluffy chapter for you all as I bring together the future of this series:) Hope you enjoy my dream world!

Chapter 24:

Sure enough... It wasn't much of a quicky. Bucky and Y/N ended up at their friends house a good 30 minutes later than everyone else, and it did NOT go unnoticed.

After coming out to the crowd at the gala about their relationship, they figured it was time to confess to their friend group as well.

But after Nat said, "Good God, it took you long enough. I've been waiting close to a month for you guys to finally say something." They realized that their little secret wasn't much of a secret at all.

Bucky had moaned and groaned as the boys hassled him for waiting so damn long, and Y/N and the girls immediately started talking details as they sat around the fire in Wanda and Visions back yard. The night was simple, intimate, and a great memory compared to the annoyance that happened at the ball.

All of that was quickly left in the back of their minds after they had their sweet friend group gathering. Time together like that always gave them a little reboot when the world seemed to be going too fast. Who better to slow down with than your best friends?

3 Months later.

"Babe?" Y/N shouted from the front door as she came home from work.

"In my room!" he shouted back.

Bucky had been working at home more often because things had calmed down in the business. He never REALLY had to go in as much as he had to before, but being the good boss he was, he made sure to be present. Now, he was trying to find things to help with the No Soldier Left Behind center more, so it was easier to just set up shop in his room where he had a mini office to the side, and not have to worry about people distracting him.

"Hey," Y/N smiled as she leaned her head into the room.

Bucky looked up from his computer and sent her the same grin she was giving him.

"Hey gorgeous," he chuckled when she didn't come in fully. "You just going to hang out by the door, or are you going to come in and give me a 'Honey, I'm home' kiss?" he teased.

"I actually have a surprise for you," she said with a wider grin, but one that showed she was up to something. Bucky knew that smile a little too well.

"What did you do?" he questioned slowly pushing his chair back going to stand.

"Wait! Stay right there!" she shook her head, but her hands were behind her showing whatever the surprise was was behind her back. "First, I got flowers for the week," she said, bringing a bouquet of her weekly flowers out. "One of your favorites. Baby breath, lavender, and daisies."

"Thanks sweetheart. That's sweet, but why do I feel like another boot is about to drop?" he probed, tilting his head as he put his hands on the arms rest and leaned back. He wanted to stand and go to her, but she told him to not move, so here he was.

"Well, that's the second part of the surprise..." she said tilting her head more and scrunching her nose.

Damn that nose scrunch! She knew what that did to him.

"Y/N..." he drug out.

"Just close your eyes real quick-"

"Y/N."

"Please! Please! I promise it's a good thing!"

"You said that last time and I ended up with a face mask on and my hair in two french braids."

"Don't act like you didn't like it," she scoffed with a small rolling of her eyes. "You love spa night."

"Sam found out and said I lost a piece of my man card," he crossed his arms.

"No, you gained a piece because you're secure in your masculinity unlike 99% of men out there," she countered. "Forget that for now though! Close your eyes."

"I don't know what I'm getting myself into-"

"That's the best part!" she shouted with a loud sigh, "Close your eyes or else Buck." The last part was said with a hint of a threatening tone was all it took Bucky to surrender. He put his hands up before crossing them again and doing as she asked.

He wanted to peak and he was so close to doing it, but right when he was about to break she giggled.

"Ok, open 'em!"

Bucky wouldn't have even come close to guessing what was sitting in front of him. Outstretched in her arms was a white cat with even bluer eyes than him. His hair wasn't long, but it wasn't short, and he had a big bushy tail. He looked as if he was kinda small for a cat given he wasn't a kitten.

"You got a c-"

"A cat!" she jumped pulling the white furball back into her arms and cradling it as he purred to her.

Bucky didn't know how to react. He never had a pet growing up, and even if he were to, he imagined it would've been a dog. Not a cat. Cats always seemed so temperamental and angsty. But the way this one was looking at him made him second guess his quick judgement.

"Don't be mad. There was a girl trying to get rid of him by the shop where I usually get my flowers. She said it was either someone buy him from her, or she would have to take him to the shelter," Y/N was quick to explain. "I knew we would treat him right compared to another stranger on the street, and if someone didn't get him at the shelter they would probably put him down." The small pout on her lips and the longing look of the cat was all it took Bucky to let out his breath he was holding in and lean back in his chair.

"Ok."

"Wait... You're not mad?" she asked, turning her head to the side.

"No. You were just being you," he chuckled standing up and placing a kiss on her forehead.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she said furrowing her eyebrows.

"All good things Sassy. I mean you being you because you constantly are trying to help people, and apparently," he looked down at the cat who gave a loud purr where she was rubbing his tummy. "Animals too."

"Awe, Buck!" she smiled putting the cat down and jumping to hug him around the neck. "You're the best!"

"I know, I know," he laughed as he pulled her into him. "Hey, how about pasta for dinner tonight? I already have the meatballs ready to go."

"Oh, yeah. I've been craving Italian all day. It's like you know me really well or something."

"I know it's crazy, right?" he said looking down at her with a joking grin. "Come on you loon," he said, giving her a quick squeeze to the hip before walking toward the kitchen.

"I'm not a loon," she mumbled following him. "Wait!" she said jumping and bouncing on his back. He was quick to catch her and let out a laugh as he piggy backed her to the kitchen.

"A loon," he chuckled squeezing her calves.

______

Halfway through their meal, Bucky caught Y/N looking around as if inspecting the apartment.

The cat had curled up in the chair next to him having already taken a liking to the man of the house. Bucky every once in a while giving him a scratch on his ear, but still not really sure about the pet just yet.

"Ok, what in the world are you doing?" he finally asked as she furrowed her eyebrows in concentration for the 100th time in the past 15 minutes.

"Nothing, nothing," she shook her head with a light chuckle before snagging a piece of garlic bread.

"That's not nothing. You've been in one of your dream worlds for the past 5 minutes. I can see it in your eyes," he jestered, filling their wine glasses again. "Are you redecorating the house in your head again?"

"Well..."

"Y/N you literally changed the entire layout of the living room just 2 days ago." He couldn't hold back that laugh.

"Ok, but hear me out!" she shouted forgetting her meal and leaning forward with her leg propped up next to her. "How long do you plan on living here?"

"You mean the flat?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Uh, I mean I don't know. I haven't really thought about it," he shrugged, grabbing his wine and relaxing in his chair. "I own it now, so I could sell it anytime."

"Have you ever wanted to live somewhere else?" she questioned propping her chin in her hand as she watched him intently.

"Uh," he paused really thinking about it. I guess if he had a choice he did have a place he always imagined. "Upstate New York actually. I always imagined still being close to friends, but far enough out of the city it would be quite at night. No city lights making the night sky disappear, but instead being able to point out constellations and star gaze. I would have some land, a nice big house, and hell, maybe even a place I can build on and landscape some. I've always wanted to look into that stuff."

He hadn't even realized he was rambling about his dream world, until he finally looked up at Y/N who had a soft smile painted on her lips and admiration in her eyes.

"That sounds beautiful B," was all she said.

Bucky smiled before taking a big sip of his wine. "It's all a dream though. That would be a lot of work to get there, and I'm not sure something like what I want even exist."

"Who says you can't make it exist?"

He looked up at the comment and Y/N was gingerly taking a sip of her own wine as she kept eye contact with him.

"What else do you have up your sleeve today, doll?" he said with a challenging look.

"Oh Buck. It's funny you think it's just today," she stood grabbing her finished plate and his. "I always have something up my sleeve. Every. Day." With that, she sashayed her hips to the sink with a smirk on her lips.

But Bucky was two steps behind, and as soon as the dishes were no longer in her hands, he was already picking her up.

"Tell me what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours Y/N!" he said fake biting at her shoulder, neck, and ear getting a laughing fit out of her.

"B, put me down!" she shouted as she tried to stop laughing, but his hands were already working their way under her shirt and tickling her stomach too. "Bucky!"

"Tell me!"

"Ok, ok! Put me down!'

He relented, sorta. He placed her to sit on the island, and then put his hands on either side of her thighs as he trapped her in. She wasn't leaving anytime soon if he had a say. Gently and ever so lovingly she leaned forward placing her forehead on his and smiled. Bucky loved when she did this cause it was intimate in a whole other way. It was like she was opening that mind of hers and letting him peak inside it.

"How do you feel about moving in together?" she whispered.

Bucky chuckled a little, but didn't move. "I'd say we seem to have already've done that."

"What about into your dream home? Our dream home?"

"What are you getting at Y/N/N?" he said, finally pulling back enough to see her face. He sweetly pulled some stray hair behind her ears as he kept eye contact with her.

"I mean... What if we moved in with each other for REAL, and got our dream house together? How would you feel about that?" Her big doe eyes were captivating and practically asking Bucky to give them the world.

All he could do was let that lopsided grin he only gave to her, grow on his face.

"I would say that sounds like an even better dream than I could imagine."

Just Roommates:

@starfirerules @buckys-blunders @alexxcorona113 @tcc-gizmachine @vrgelivvvv @nighttwingg @firefly-in-darkness @mizzzpink @poppunkdork @nerdygirlwithacrush @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @ellaenchanted91​ @sebbbystaaan​

Marvel Tags:

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My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon​ @lauravic​ @traceyaudette​ @kakakatey​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @laneygthememequeen​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​ @sandlee44​ @thorne93​ @snffbeebee​ @thefaithfulwriter​ @marvelfansworld​ @essie1876​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @capsiclehan​ @naomi02hook​ @xostephanie​ @averyrogers83​ @awesomenursingstudent​ @gh0stgurl​ @cs-please​ @carls1022​​ @jjlevin​ @rainbowkisses31​ @carls1022​ @anise-d-castle6​ @deannotmoose​ @their-bibliophile​ @kitkatd7​

[gisachi]

Aaah hi ! Can I please request 45 or 14 of the shinran prompt ? 💓

Hi, thanks for the request! 🧡 Sorry it took a while! Hoping you don’t mind that I combined your asks since I’ll be doing #45  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Admittedly, the only scenario I can think of for this prompt is another semi(?)-nsfw so I hope you’re ok with that! Again, it went longer than I expected, so it may sound a bit rushed at the end because I had to cut it short lmao, but I do hope you still enjoy reading!

45. Kisses exchanged as they move around, hitting the edges of tables or nearly tripping over things on the floor before making it to the sofa, or bed. (1,878 words, slightly nsfw)

.

.

His girlfriend doesn’t wait for the hotel room door to close shut.

Using her weight to pin him to the cold, concrete wall, she drives her lips against his in what seems like the boldest, the roughest, the most brazen she’s ever done in her entire life.

She’s never one to initiate; it’s always him. So the moment this happens, he doesn’t push her away, and instead embraces her closer, surrendering himself to the thrill.

He feels her body rock against his, outlined by her gown— oh, that long, sexy red satin gown, elegantly tailored to a slim fit that it hugs every prominent curve of her body, neckline plunging so low it exposes a generous amount of her cleavage;

That gown poking the corner of his eyes as she sat beside him quietly the whole duration of the TMPD awarding ceremony, her noiseless presence a stark contrast to her breathtaking aura that screams ever so loudly, catching the attention of everyone in the grand ballroom, men and women, even those on distant tables;

That same gown that’s causing all his willpower to dissipate as he tried to display the straightest face he could ever make while he waited, impatiently, for his name to be announced just so they could get this over with, for deep down his animalistic tendencies thrive from the dangerous thought of slamming her down their table and stripping her bare... right then and there.

It’s funny, now that he thinks about it. The modesty they displayed in that event — how she respectfully thanked the courteous gentlemen assisting her there while he interacted with other fellow distinguished guests; how he politely shook hands with his women fans and willingly gave them his autographs and selfies as they exited the venue — all gone the moment they step in the hotel elevator, her arms loop around his firmly as if she’s honestly intending for her chest to choke his arms. The smile they’ve been projecting replaced by tightly shut, parched lips, curses restrained behind teeth, breathing warm and fervid, tension palpable…

It’s not just him. He feels it.

Inside the elevator where many people other than them gather, they mutually relish this energy.

This raw, titillating energy, swirling in the air between them, so apparent yet so undetected.

They reach their floor and they step out, and Shinichi knows. His plan of ending the night with a romantic champagne session with her on their balcony under the stars? Not gonna happen now. Something else will. Not in any way how he expects but perhaps... how he prefers.

Very much so.

He would’ve wanted to do this to her first, shove her against the wall and all, and though he's not complaining that it resulted the other way around, as to why she initiated this rash, unprecedented act, he wants to know.

“Ran…” he groans, nails digging into her hips while her lips assault his neck, leaving trails of red lipstick from the underside of his ear down his collarbone. “What’s... with you... tonight?”

“No,” her hands yank the collar of his fine black shirt underneath his elaborately masculine, padded coat, “what’s with you tonight, Shinichi?” She kisses him again, rougher and harder than before, and while he thoroughly enjoys her doing this, a clear answer is what he needs and this isn’t exactly it.

“Wha- uh, fuck,” he tries to speak coherently in between their kisses, but her hands quickly travelling down his chest to the front of his pants make it difficult to do so, “What did I, ah- do…?”

“You,” she breathes heavily, “in that suit,” he feels a hand unclasp the metal buckle of his belt, “in these slacks,” and watches her throw the belt in the open. “I’m quite... annoyed.”

“Annoyed?” He speaks in fragments, “Of who...” throwing his words in between their hungry kisses, “...of me?” She shakes her head.

“Mm, then who?”

She separates from his lips bitterly, looks at him with dark, impassioned eyes, so uncharacteristic of the gentle Ran he has ever known his whole life. Not that he’s complaining.

Did she drink? No. Was she in a bad mood prior to this? No.

Another possibility crosses his mind.

“...Of the fangirls?”

She sucks sharp breaths of air, face somewhat glowering.

Is she...jealous?

Ran grabs a fistful of his hair, pulls his head down to meet her stare.

“You can’t just put your arms around them for a selfie in that tux...” her eyes flicker to the lapels of his jacket and the half unbuttoned shirt, his lean, glorious chest beneath it teasing her, and further down, his black trousers, prim and ironed, now without the belt and now loose enough to shove a hand in...then back his eyes, unconsciously biting her lower lip in the process, “without letting me see you alone first.”

Oh. Scratch that.

Is she massively turned on by him in an all-black formal suit…

so much so that she wants him all to herself?

Yes.

Holy shit, yes.

He spots their reflection on the full-length mirror across them — his lips smeared with her cherry red lipstick, hair he’s gelled so carefully now a disheveled mess as her fingers wind roughly onto it. Her backless gown does his eyes favor, allowing him to freely marvel at the sharp curves of her shoulder blades, her lithe spine, her arched back, and all he can think about now is how much he wants to mark them later with his nails, with his teeth...

Lips pulling into a naughty smirk, he decides to up the heat by a notch.

“Yeah?” He squeezes her ass fondly, preventing himself from salivating like a wild beast as he sees from the reflection how soft and supple her cheeks are under his hands. “What about you then?”

Ran audibly gasps as his hand lowers to her thigh, lifting it a few inches so that it slips between the high slits of her gown. He makes just enough room between his legs to slide it in, pressing their lower bodies closer until she’s aware of the visible strain in his trousers.

“That dress,” he grunts, his other hand hiking to her waist, gripping her so possessively he might’ve bruised her, “is so perfect on you it frustrates me.”

His tongue languidly traces the inside of her lower lip before nibbling it so hard he tastes blood. She whimpers, so he soothes it with a soft lick and a gentle suck.

He’ll apologize to her after, not now when his carnal drive is at its strongest.

Parting her lips with his thumb, he sighs into her lungs.

“...mind me taking it off?”

She moans from his words alone.

Heart thundering to a frenzied rhythm, she pins him back to the wall and reclaims his lips, and he can only surmise that that’s her way of saying yes.

Yes. Take everything away.

Her fingers twine his hair, playing and swirling around it the same way her tongue does with his. Tilting his head, he indulges himself deep in her, reaching and tasting every corner of her, and he feels her throat vibrate from a soft groan that echoes so deliciously in his mouth. Without breaking the kiss, his other arm joins the other on her waist, coaxing her to step her feet back, to move, and she almost trips on her stilettos, which she finds no more need for as she awkwardly removes them one at a time, all while he guides her blindly to the inside portion of the hotel room.

She hits and bumps every wall as they sort their way through, and he doesn’t want her to get hurt so he turns them around, offering his back as the first line of defense against the unfamiliar setup of the room. Dragging her with him, they totter to the nearest flat surface he can sense, unmindful of the chairs and random furniture his legs inadvertently bump into as he moves. And when he does feel the edge of some kind of counter touch his lower back, he lifts her up and hoists her there, almost toppling over the complimentary drinks and champagne glasses placed above it.

They break off the kiss and stare each other down, outrageous heat in their expressions apparent. He takes this time to shrug off his expensive suit soiled with sweat and drops it to the floor, leaving him with his disheveled black button-downs, looking more informal now than it is formal. His arms cage her body to the minibar counter while her hands secure her weight, one overlapping his right hand and the other on his right shoulder. One leg wraps around his hip, making sure her dress doesn’t rip due to overstretching.

“You know, I…” he pants, voice low and husky, “I was so close to stabbing some colleagues in the eyes.”

“Really now?” she replies, thumb caressing the underside of his right hand, heel digging into his calves.

“Yeah...” his pupils wander to where the neckline of her gown dives, to the teasing slit that reveals her silky thigh. “No one else’s supposed to look at you like this,” he returns his gaze to her, and, like a cat cornering a mouse, hoods his eyes and licks his lips. “Only me.”

Ran’s heart rate skyrockets, chest feels like combusting as her boyfriend scans her entire being with pure, unadulterated lust. She tightens her leg around him before surging into his lips once more, and he moans, loud.

Loud, raspy. Guttural.

Hot.

If that doesn’t make her damp the first time, then she’ll just make him do it again.

Not a problem. They have the whole night.

She squirms her way out from where his hands trap her, descending the minibar. He honestly would’ve wanted her there longer but her comfort is more important. On tiptoes they twirl to the direction of the king-size bed, skipping over the lump of coat on the floor. Their lips mold hotly, all while he works his way out his shoes, kicking them somewhere far. Her dress is such a bother; it’s impossible not to step on its length while they get it on— all the more reason for him to make haste to the bed just so he can finally take that whole thing off of her body.

Only when the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed does she speak again.

“Shinichi...everything under this,” she flits down her gown, then back his face, her blue irises glinting like firelight, “is for your eyes only.”

In the middle of his high, Shinichi cannot help but soften his expression at his girlfriend’s honest-to-goodness statement.

She bites her lip, giggles. “So better promise me the same.”

“Of course.” He kisses her softly. “All you see in front of you,” he leans down, traces the shape of her collarbone with his lips, “are all yours.”

He cannot see her face but he’s sure of how red she’s gotten. Not sparing any more time, he lets their intermingled bodies collapse to the bed, he on top, she beautifully sprawled under.

“Now will you show me?” His right hand hikes the slit of her gown, going under it, “What’s for my eyes alone?”

.

.

.

[boldly-ho]

Another Life - Chapter 20

Fandom: What We Do in the Shadows 

Pairing: Vladislav x Reader

Series Rating: E

Word Count: 2172

Chapter summary: I hate chapter summaries. It’s chapter 20. If you’re here, you’ve made up your mind to follow the story no matter what the summary says, anyway.

A/N: I’m so, so sorry for the delay. I had a family emergency in Iowa after the derecho. (It’s all ok now, though, thankfully). Then, of course, when I got back to the land of electricity, I spilled water on my keyboard and had to order another. So here it is, two weeks late, but fully intact. Enjoy! As always, this is cross-posted to AO3.

Your glove filled with dishwater as you submerged it in the full sink, hunting for a fork you’d dropped. You grimaced to yourself as you pulled the full, wet glove off of your hand and dumped the soapy, rust-colored water back into the sink. You’d heard Deacon say it before, and he was right: This was bullshit. You made a mental note to propose to your flatmates that everyone wash their own dishes immediately after use, and replace it on the chore wheel with something, anything, else.

These bloody dishes shouldn’t have to be your responsibility. Wasn’t this a biohazard?

“How did it go tonight?”

Deacon’s sneaking into the kitchen used to startle you. Now, you were used to it, always half-expecting to find a vampire behind you when you turned around.

Reaching into the bloody water with your bare hands, you pulled the plug, letting it all drain away. You wiped your hands on a dishcloth you assumed must have been white at some point as you answered, “It was fine.”

You had gone out earlier this evening. It was only a grocery run, but it still felt fairly momentous. It had been the first time you’d been out after dark since the night you’d almost been killed. Eaten. As none of your flatmates had accompanied you, you wore your silver cross pendant outside of your shirt, keeping any potential vampires at a distance.

It had actually been Viago’s suggestion to wear it visibly unless you were with them. You weren’t entirely comfortable with displaying the necklace, but you weren’t entirely comfortable being eaten, either, so you did what you had to do. It had made you feel secure enough to venture out, though you could practically hear your heart pound with anxiety the entire trip. But now, safe at home, having done it once, you felt confident it wouldn’t be so scary next time you went out at night.

Baby steps.

“Did you wear your necklace out?”

You nodded in response. “Any fun plans tonight?” You didn’t overly care. What his plans were. You would be going to bed in an hour or so anyway. Mostly, you just wanted to change the subject. You knew Deacon meant well by asking after you. But it felt odd, his checking up on you. Deacon was hardly a comforting person. Your friendship with him wasn’t tender. You cared about him, of course, but your friendship was built on laughter, goofing off, and general immaturity. His caring tone was enough to drive you mad.

He shrugged. “I don’t know about fun. Vlad and I are supposed to go out and get some victims. We should go soon, though, since I’m meeting Jackie in a few hours.”

You still hadn’t seen Vladislav tonight. Glancing at the time, you remarked, “It’s getting really late. Is he still sleeping?””

Deacon shrugged again. “Maybe. He sleeps in sometimes. But if he doesn’t wake up soon, I’m going to leave without him.”

“Go wake him up, then.”

“No way. You’ve woken up Petyr, right?”

You nodded.

“Vlad’s worse than that.”

You thought back to the time you woke up Petyr and decided there was no way that was true. You shrugged off his hyperbolic explanation and offered, “I’ll go wake him up.”

Deacon snorted and rolled his eyes. “Good luck with that.”

As you went upstairs to Vladislav’s room, you smiled to yourself. That had felt better. Normal. That was how you and Deacon were supposed to interact with one another.

You knocked gently on the bedroom door. You were trying to wake him, not scare him half to death… again. “Vladislav?” you called softly. There was no response. You knocked again, calling slightly louder, “Vladislav?”

You pushed the door open, expecting to find him sleeping away in his black coffin. Instead, the room itself was unrecognizable. Granted, you’d only been in there once, on that night you were sneaking around, but you were fairly certain the room had been different. For example, you remember there being objects in there. A coffin springs to mind.

Now, there was nothing but red silk and velvet as far as the eye could see. And the eye could see quite far. You’d only been in here once, but you knew the room hadn’t been this big. The whole house was barely this big. And up in the far corner across from the door, you saw Vladislav laying on the ceiling, three of the most gorgeous women you’d ever seen– succubi – writhing on and pawing at him, among other things. Though the sight was jarring enough, it was nothing compared to the sound. A mixture of masculine and feminine moaning, sighing, and heaving breathing assaulted your ears.

Your eyes widened as you registered what exactly they were seeing. “Oh my g-“ You stopped yourself from saying the g-word before you caused your flatmate- and possibly the succubi?- to have a negative reaction. “Sorry!”

You pulled the door shut quickly again, feeling your face reddening. How did this keep happening? At least the last time it happened, you’d walked in before anything had started. And it was only the one succubus. Not so, this time.

The door swung open again, revealing Vladislav is his trademark, post-fuck red robe. You kept your eyes glued to his face, and to his immensely tousled hair, in order not to see anything more that you shouldn’t. Though, it was unnecessary, as you could see in your peripheral vision that the succubi were gone and the room was back to normal.

“Sorry!” you said again, though it came out more like a squeak, your heart still hammering in your chest.

“What?” he asked, ignoring your apology. He seemed as nonplussed as always, not at all acting as if he’d just been interrupted mid-orgy.

“How did you…” you trailed off, now fully looking past him into his apparently size-changing bedroom.

“How did I what?”

You met his serious gaze and dropped your question entirely. “Deacon wanted to make sure you were awake. For finding victims together.”

“Right. I forgot. Tell him to give me twenty minutes.” With that, he returned to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him and leaving you alone again in the hall. You heard the moaning resume, now loud enough to be heard through the door.

You returned to the kitchen, picking up haste until you were practically speed walking through it. Your face was heated and you were flustered, naturally. That’s not a great way to great Deacon, though. You entered through one door, saying quickly to your flatmate as you passed, “He’s busy. Twenty minutes,” and exited out the other door, never looking up from the floor as you did so.

You sprinted back up the stairs to your own room, passing a concerned looking Viago on the way, as Deacon’s uproarious laughter echoed in your ears.

At least someone found it funny.

~

“Ooh, where are you going all dressed up like that? Got a hot date?” Dawn teased.

You rolled your eyes. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a hot date. Literally.

“Not unless you’re talking about yourself. We were supposed to hang out tonight, remember? Hit up some bars? It was your idea.”

She threw you a bewildered look. “Yeah, but I didn’t think we should anymore. Especially not you.”

You returned the look. “Am I missing something? Again?” You’d meant the last word as a joke, but it ended up feeling like a knife twisting in your gut. Still too soon to joke, you surmised.

“Girls are going missing in Wellington; girls who look like you. Mostly from clubs and bars. They think it’s a serial killer. How have you not heard about this?”

“What!”

Dawn tapped away at her phone before turning it towards you, pulled up to a news article about the topic at hand. You snatched the phone from her grip.

“When did this happen?”

“News broke two days ago. I can’t believe you haven’t heard. But people have been disappearing for two weeks now.”

“I wonder why two weeks…” you said quietly, more thanking aloud than speaking to Dawn. You actually turned to her and added, louder, “Glad we haven’t been out in the past two weeks.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

You scrolled through the article. Five women missing in two weeks. Three last seen in clubs, one last seen walking in Wellington central, and one that was reported missing after not showing up for work. Horrifyingly, each of them looked like you. Same skin color, same hair color, same eye color, similar height, similar build...

And you were about to go out clubbing for the night. Goosebumps formed on your arms and legs. This surely constituted a good reason to keep up with current events if ever there was one.

You wondered, momentarily, if this had anything to do with you, or, at the very least, the you from your forgotten year. Probably not. How could it? These disappearances had only been happening for two weeks. You’d begun to remember things much longer ago than that. It was just a horrible coincidence.

You’d just have to be careful going out from now on.

Still, you thought back to the missing person poster that had nearly bowled you over when you’d seen it. She hadn’t looked like you, but it did seem odd that you may already have a connection to a missing person…

~

“What the hell is the matter with you?” Viago hissed under his breath, though his voice still floated up from the lounge.

You stood at the the top of the stairs, around the corner in the hall, and just out of sight. You had been on your way downstairs, but Viago’s hushed voice had startled you. Thinking he must have been talking to you, you opened your mouth to answer him before shutting it once more when someone else downstairs replied.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Vladislav was unaffected, monotone, and seemingly uninterested. Still, you got the impression that he knew exactly what Viago was talking about.

“Are you trying to be a jerk? With our heightened hearing, I could hear trying to wake you from all the way downstairs. You just let her walk in on you like that, and don’t say otherwise. Were you just being an exhibitionist or were you actively trying to upset her? What the hell is the matter with you?”

You. They were talking about you. You weren’t sure whether that weakened your right to eavesdrop or strengthened it. You stayed put.

Vladislav dropped any pretense of ignorance and answered coolly, “Humans become infatuated with vampires all the time.”

You felt your heart sink. It wasn’t disappointment. It was embarrassment. You really didn’t think you’d categorize sometimes-attraction to your flatmate as infatuation, but you felt slighted and humiliated that it was so openly discussed and disregarded when you weren’t present.

Viago scoffed. “Really?”

“What would you call Katherine?”

“Hey, now! Don’t be a dick.”

You weren’t sure if Deacon had been present the entire time or if he had just walked in. Either way, his defense of Viago told you that bringing up this Katherine person, whoever she was, was hitting below the belt.

“So you are just trying to be a jerk,” Viago sighed. “I don’t know why. Even if humans do fall for vampires all the time, it’s not as though vampires often fall for humans.”

Silence from the lounge.

Eventually, Deacon snorted, breaking the silence. “I think you guys just need to fuck.”

Viago sighed.

Vladislav remained silent.

“I don’t know whether that little stunt tonight was meant to piss her off or turn her on, but either way it was incredibly stupid, even for you.”

“Hey!” Vladislav protested.

“You’re different with her. You were so kind to her after you rescued her from that other vampire. I never saw you treat the Beast that way, not once.”

The Beast?

Vladislav scoffed. “The Beast would have never welcomed such treatment from me anyway.”

“Maybe. But I never saw you offer it.”

“Y/N is my friend. She was traumatized. You’re reading too much into things, looking for subtext where there isn’t any. This is real life, Viago, not one of those big, ugly books you always have your nose buried in. So what if she walked in on me having sex? You’ve all walked in on me having sex before! I have sex a lot! You’re making something out of nothing.”

“Either way,” Viago said, “We all have to live together here, Y/N included; so you can’t go around purposely antagonizing people, no matter what the reasons are.”

“The reasons are that he’s horny! I say you go upstairs, walk into her bedroom, and tell her you’re there to fuck. Her legs will open before your sentence is finished.”

You heard a soft, hollow thump, as though someone had hit Deacon upside the head. You recognized the noise from all the times you had hit Deacon upside the head. You smiled softly.

[forartiemisha]

what the hail, let’s give the girls some content 😂 i keed but i actually finished that short story i wrote for fun mentioned previously & it happened to submit it in a contest for the fun of it. you may have seen the ad for it because it seems quite popular. i h8 to share the actual link (bc i refuse to put my last name on here lmao) but here’s the story:

Mama Blue

Trouble don't last always. Of my grandmother's adages I've kept that ground me in times of change, this one just hits different. It's almost radical. The reality is, that while I may be OK on this path, someone out there ain't doing quite as hot. Too soon? Apologies. I've been told my choice of words are like the sword, but, after all, is that not what He came to send? By the looks of it, God is a man of his word. Not that he has gender, though this is certainly some masculine destruction right here. Waves hotter than any of my kid summers in South Georgia. And who do we have to thank? That's right. Man. Men. War has not yet touched my family and yet it's a pervasive constant in our personal struggles for today's gold. Water. I am in the sixth generation of the Comfrey family, a name chosen - not given. Mama Blue named us and shared a seemingly insignificant small totem from child to child. Now, we all knew there would come a day where water wars would devastate this community. It is the lifeline, and our totem the Key to the Kingdom, quite literally.

Removed from the sweet Georgia hills where the water sprung in abundance, magic lives in my key. Sure, there is some Comfrey resilience there, but an intermittent depth, like a compass or the mind's intuition, lies in the key's composition. You'd be surprised to hear the formula is quite simple. A collapsible sillcock and coupler key that is kept on an inconspicuous chain around my neck. The tool's true purpose is masked and appears to the ignorant as a worn and scratched white gold heart-shaped locket. Held close to my own pumping organ and under layers of cloth is this personal guide. That trouble I mentioned before? It creeps up; and though it don't last always, it finds a way to keep close in vulnerable times. Funny though, be it my own heart or the one on the totem, a reverberating rumble, not unlike that of ancient thunder, shouts a quiet roar of warning. I mean, do you believe in magic? If there's anything close to a reckoning of faith in the Higher Power, here is my source. Vibration and electricity, my soul and spirit move and not only am I led to what I need (which is more times than not a cup of liquid gold), I feel safe. Security in this time is only of the mind. Nothing outside of this body will protect me.

Creative choice and direction given to me by my ancestors bestows a continuous protection, more so than that given the day the Blackness shrouded the city. While it was only a dry lightning storm, the Keepers were temporarily blinded into a stupor of collective chaos. They sang it destructive, but I sing it triumphant. Whisperers of the events name, Blackness, coined it almost naturally. We would save ourselves once more. Us Comfreys might have the Key to the Kingdom, but others like us also feel similarly about that day.

Still, the key is my hidden gem of sorts. To be honest, it's what keeps me going to the point that I'm not sure my physical body could excel without it. What was so freeing about the Blackness was the immersive identity. I've never felt both detached and one with the earth at the same time. The trickle of a once dead stream overflowed. My key's ancestral knowledge searched for a single oasis in the euphoria of it all. Rather than removing the swinging totem, then stuck to my moist skin, I knelt under the cloud close enough to the very bottom to smell organic matter. Feeling for the desired opening took milliseconds. When the locket transforms into the latch, each hook matching to make that perfect click enabling the source of life itself, something in me rises. The forgotten sound of children laughing and whiffs of grandma's lavender essence. Major keys and sea breeze. Lifted is a prayer to all that has brought me here. Give me a cup of the soil's most precious resource and clocks refuse to turn. The kingdom is ours and we will live forever.

[tommynikkivincemick]

three way call — part 7

Summary: Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx find themselves in the frustrating predicament of being infatuated with the same woman. This calls for a competition.

Author’s note: This is for the most part a pretty tame dialogue heavy filler chapter, except a little bit of plot building and mildly homosexual content at the beginning. The next chapter will be a lot saucier so be on the lookout for that!! Enjoy xx

Warnings: Violence, drug use, language, mildly homosexual content.

After a passionate night, the pair spent the night in the van in the forest and Tommy finally got Y/N home at around 8:00 in the morning. When he himself returned home, he did not expect for Nikki to be awake and on the couch. The bassist looked over the drummer— messy hair, goofy happy expression, relaxed body language, confident stance, smell of alcohol and sex.

That bastard.

“You bastard!” Nikki growled, standing from the couch, “How could you?”

“Okay, hear me out—“

“Hear this, you backstabbing bitch!” The older Twin yelled and tackled the drummer to the ground, punching first and thinking later.

Tommy didn’t even put up much of a fight— he deserved his beating, and to be quite honest, Y/N felt so good that it was worth it. The annoying part was Nikki yelling at him as he beat his ass.

“That’s not fair! I haven’t even gotten a shot! You couldn’t keep your dick in your pants for one night? Fuck you, Tommy Lee! Go to hell! I hate you so much right now! You motherfucker!” The bassist shouted as he beat the drummer, “Fight back, asshole!”

“Fucking fine!” Tommy grunted and began pushing back, properly wrestling with Nikki, “Yeah, I fucked her! But she still wants you! She wants both of us and it really sucks, I won the bet but I didn’t win her, so would you stop hitting me?!”

“She what?” Nikki stopped, pinning the drummer’s wrists on either side of his head, straddling the younger man.

“She still wants you. Still wants me. Still wants us,” Tommy panted.

Vince stomped into the room, ready to kick whoever’s ass was causing such a ruckus and waking him up this early in the morning.

“Would you motherfuckers shut— well, that’s a pretty compromising position, isn’t it?” The blonde cocked his head when he saw the bassist straddling the drummer.

“Yeah, Nikki finally broke down and admitted how much he wants my body,” Tommy deadpanned, “Wanna join us?”

Vince genuinely contemplated it.

“Well— what? No!”

“Your loss, baby,” Nikki gave an exaggerated wink.

“This is— it’s too early for this,” The singer grumbled and slumped back to bed.

Nikki let go of Tommy’s wrists but still remained on top of him.

“What do you mean she wants us? Like both of us?” The older Twin asked.

Tommy sighed and went into the same speech he had given Y/N the night before about polyamory and crazy feelings and how he didn’t think the other man would be okay with any of it. Nikki paused and contemplated everything he was just told. When he spoke at last, he said:

“Tommy, that’s gay.”

“Nikki, you’re literally sitting on my dick right now. Shut the fuck up.”

The Twins cracked up and Nikki rolled off of Tommy and laid beside him on the floor.

“No, but uh— it’s really cool of you to admit all that to me. All bets are off. And honestly? I’d be down to try it if you guys are,” Nikki sighed.

“Really? You’re not gonna get too jealous and kick my ass?”

“Well, we’ve been doing this and it’s been going alright—“

“You’ve punched me in the face like five times since we started this bet. Plus, you’d have to fully participate, and I don’t think you’re ready for that, bro.”

“Yes I am, I’m comfortable in my masculinity and sexuality and—“

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Kiss me on the mouth right now. Like you mean it.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘like I mean it?’”

“Kiss me like you’d kiss Y/N. Three way partnership, and all that.”

Nikki paused and sat up. Tommy followed suit. The bassist took a deep breath and grabbed the drummer by the back of the hair to pull him in for a kiss. It was long and deep and just like he’d kiss Y/N, as requested. By the time they parted, their cheeks were red, their eyes were starry, and they both were a little breathless.

“... I think I’m bisexual,” Tommy laughed.

“Same, maybe,” Nikki muttered, “So how are things gonna be now?”

“Like they’ve always been, dude. We all always kiss each other’s faces anyway, only now it’s ok to kiss each other’s mouths and necks and stuff. And neither of us have to be jealous when the other person is with Y/N because we know she’s ours, too. It’s gonna be chill as fuck, man.”

“Have you talked this over with Y/N?” Nikki asked, getting up from the floor and extending his hand to the other Twin.

“Uh. Maybe we should call her.”

The Twins stumbled over each other to get to the phone. Nikki dialed her number and the pressed their faces together so they could both listen.

“Hello?”

“Mötley residence, Terror Twins speaking, may we please talk to Y/N?” They asked in unison.

“This is she,” Y/N laughed, “Why do you dumbasses always answer the phone like that?”

“Because it’s funny,” Nikki replied.

“Y/N! I got Nikki to be okay with the thing!” Tommy announced.

“The three way dating thing?”

“Yes that thing!” The drummer said.

“Oh, wow. That’s really cool. What do you think, Nikki?”

“Well, I just frenched T-Bone, so I can cross that off my bucket list,” Nikki chuckled, “But I think this will be good for all of us.”

“Me too. Well, I got home really late so I’m gonna try to sleep a little bit before work later, I’ll see you guys after that, though, unless you wanna stop by the store.”

Y/N had worked at a local record store for as long as they’d known her. When they started the band and recorded “Too Fast For Love”, she’d plugged the record non-stop, always having it playing in the store and always having a stack of records on display at the front desk. She truly was the band mom, always supporting her boys.

“Okay, we’re having a little kickback later, so be sure to change out of your work clothes before you come over,” Nikki said.

“We are?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah, Vinnie didn’t tell you?”

“No, he most certainly did not. Ugh, I gotta go shower. Y/N, I’ll see you later, love you!” Tommy yelled into the phone before heading to the bathroom.

“Love you! I’m gonna go sleep a little. See you later, Nikki, love you, too,” Y/N said with a yawn.

“Alright, later. Love you, babe. Bye.” The bassist signed off and thought he’d do the same and go to bed until he had to get ready for the party, but not before yelling to the bathroom, “TOMMY! I’M TAKING A NAP, OKAY? WAKE ME UP AT SIX.”

“OKAY, SWEET DREAMS SIXX!” Tommy shouted back.

With that, Nikki sighed and went to tuck himself in for the next few hours.

Vince heard the bathroom and bedroom doors shut and immediately rushed out to the phone, dialing Mick’s number.

“Mötley residence, Vince speaking, is Mick there?”

“Yeah, blondie, what do you want?” The guitarist yawned into the phone.

“You’ll never guess what just happened!”

“What?”

“Tommy and Nikki are in a three way relationship with Y/N now because Tommy fucked her but get this, he also had feelings for Nikki! Crazy right? So I think him and Nikki made out, but I could be wrong— at the very least they kissed a little bit and they both liked it! But before that, I walked into the living room because they were fighting and being loud and it woke me up and Nikki was on top of Tommy looking like one of them was about to get railed.” Vince spoke quickly.

“Uh, yeah, I definitely never would have guessed that,” Mick said, shock evident in his voice, “I’ll have to have a talk with Y/N about that later.”

“Hey Mick?”

“What?”

“Who do you think is the top between Tommy and Nikki?”

Both men paused before saying in unison:

“Nikki.”

“Alright, man, I just thought I’d fill you in. See you tonight.”

“Yeah, blondie.”

The two men hung up and Vince went back to bed.

That afternoon, Mick decided to take a trip down to the record store to have a talk with a certain friend of the band.

“Oh hey, Mick! We just got some new prog-rock albums in, I was gonna call you about it,” Y/N said with a smile.

“Yeah, that’s cool,” The guitarist said absentmindedly before leaning over the counter and whispering quietly, “I know what you did last night.”

Y/N’s face burned and she motioned for him to come behind the counter.

“Well, how was it?” He asked.

“Really, really good. As weird as it sounds, I could spend the rest of my life getting pounded in the back of that van,” She sighed dreamily.

“Who’s better with their mouth? Nikki or Tommy?”

“Both fantastic in different ways.”

“And you’re dating both of them now, right? Like polygamy?”

“More like polyamory, but we’re trying it out, yeah. It was Tommy’s idea.”

“You know Tommy and Nikki made out earlier?”

“No way! I thought they just kissed!”

“Yeah, way! And Vince said they were both really into it.”

“No way!”

“Is that all you can say?”

“I just can’t believe Nikki really made out with Tommy. Like loving, touching, squeezing made out? Nah.”

“Yeah, Vince called me earlier and said he found Nikki on top of Tommy earlier looking like they were about to get down and dirty, if you know what I mean.”

“I dunno, I don’t think either of them are that secure yet. It’ll probably just be business as usual but with more kissing and touching.”

“Gross.”

“It’s not gross, it’s kind of hot.”

“It’s incestuous!”

“Maybe so, but how many times have you guys seen a pair of twins kissing for your entertainment and thought it was hot?”

“Yeah, true. So are you guys gonna have a threesome?”

“I would think yes, sometime in the foreseeable future.”

“Sick!”

“It’ll be great, I bet. I’m still having a hard time walking from last night.”

“Gross, don’t tell me that!”

“But you’re my gossip buddy! I can’t bottle all this up, it would be unhealthy.”

“Whatever, I’m fine with you three having weird horny adventures as long as we don’t have to find a new drummer or bassist, just be safe, use condoms, you don’t know where those two have been.”

“It’s too late for that, bud.”

“Stop... stop telling me details. I’m leaving, I’ll see you tonight, have fun at work.”

“For sure,” She laughed.

Nikki had gotten up early and had decided to go ahead and get ready and maybe pick up Y/N from work. It took him half an hour to shower, another half hour tease and spray his hair to his specifications, ten minutes to draw on eyeliner evenly, twenty minutes to get into his skin tight leather pants, five to find his platform boots, and one minute to put on his spiderweb shirt and some jewelry. Tommy joined him and for his outfit chose his fishnet shirt and tights, short shorts, and tennis shoes.

“Tommy, don’t wear the tights and booty shorts.”

“I’m wearing the tights and booty shorts. My body, my choice.”

“That’s not what that means, Tommy,” Nikki sighed, sounding exhausted, “Let’s go.”

Tommy happily followed Nikki to the car and the two drove down to the store to distract Y/N from her job. The rhythm section sauntered in and walked behind the counter. Their favorite girl perked up and gave them both a quick kiss on the lips.

“So Nikki,” She began, “How was feeling up Tommy?”

“What? We didn’t— we just kissed— how do you know about that?” The bassist’s cheeks turned a vibrant pink as he stammered.

“Vince is a gossip and said he caught you on top of Tom and Mick asked me about it. But you still didn’t answer my question.”

“He loved it and I sexually awakened him because I am the god of love, baby,” Tommy said arrogantly with a wide grin.

“Calm down Eros. It was alright. I didn’t hate it. I kind of liked it.” Nikki said shortly, glaring at the drummer.

“So... what does this mean?” She asked.

“Are we dating?” Tommy added.

“I don’t know, maybe. We’ll have to give it a trial run before anything is set in stone, but I’m... open to it, let’s say.”

“Awe, Sixx!” Y/N cooed and pulled him down to her height to plant a kiss on his cheek, “Well, anyway, my shift’s about to end if you two wanna stick around for a little bit?”

The two nodded and went to look around the store to see if they could find anything interesting and subtly placing “Too Fast For Love” records in front of every other rock album. Fifteen minutes later, Y/N clocked out and the boys followed her home to her apartment.

“Do you have any spare blow?” Tommy asked, opening and closing all of the drawers in her bedroom in search of a little pick-me-up as Nikki instead chose to smoke a joint on her bed.

“Underwear drawer; top right,” She replied as she tried on and discarded outfits and shoes.

The drummer found a small baggie of white powder an laughed triumphantly, also pulling a lacy red thong and matching bra out of the drawer.

“This is sexy, you should wear it for us sometime,” He winked.

“Mmm, and those shiny black high heels you wore that one time,” Nikki added with a devilish smirk.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” She giggled, “Now what should I wear tonight for the party?”

Nikki got off of the bed and rifled through her closet for a minute. “I think that black dress with the silver zipper looks hot on you. Oh, and the high heel boots.”

“You just want me in heels one way or another, don’t you, Sixx?”

“I am a simple man; I like Colombian cocaine, Tennessee whiskey, and pretty women in sexy high heels,” The bassist replied with a smile, the drummer behind him nodding in agreement.

The musicians watched as their lover got dressed and touched up her makeup, admiring the way the dress Nikki chose hugged her curves and the way she smiled when she put on blush and puckered her lips after she applied lipstick. When she finished with a spritz of perfume, they followed her out to the car and Tommy opened the door for her.

“Alright boys,” She said with a wry smile, “Let’s go make it a night to remember.”

Needless to say, none of them would remember a thing come morning.

Taglist: @jayprettymuchomw @kayladurin @crazysaladchopshop @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @loveofmyloif @saints-of-the-universe @tommyfuckinlee @oh-well1 @cranberribread @princesadeltoro @prostidudes-for-justice @miriampraez @tarahell @n-osebleed @valentines-in-london @bohemian-war @cuntlord0606 @holding-on-to-my-youth

[mysmedrabbles]

Saeyoung with a Genderfluid MC

requested: by purple hearted anon!!

a/n: hahaha regular posting schedule? who’s she? the prompt was quite short and sweet, hence all the “bonus”

skjhfkdjs buy me a coffee?

warnings: n/a 

-sososososo jittery mod alex

-with all that happened with your safety being in danger, Saeyoung beating himself over the fact that he put you in danger and his constant guilt made only worse by seeing the future that had taken Saeran, there had never been much time to do anything other than sit together and enjoy the precious quiet moments where it was just you and him, making his normally wandering thoughts silence as he focused solely on you, no distractions.

-even though neither of you had officially announced it, it had sort of been a given that the two of you were dating, after all you’d been through there was no way to have kept your status as “angsty friends” wen the two of you had gone through... that much

-and yet? the two of you had never gone on a real date

-with the confused help of Zen, he manages to find something suited to be a first date activity, a simple drive to the local museum, followed by going to one of his favourite places, somewhere where the whole city would be in plain sight, sparkling under the two of you, giving the impression of grandeur. 

-granted, the search for saeran hadn’t left you with much in your closet, so a big part of you is nervous when you step out of the door to meet saeyoung in the front yard, binder secured on, thin bomber jacket with the words bad boy embroidered finely on the back over a simple button up.

-it takes him a second to take it all in, his expression never changing from starstruck as he takes you in. you can tell of course, he does have a question on his lips as he looks at you, but before he could say a proper word, you’ve hastily shoved a paper in his hands, a soft oomph emitting from the redhead as the paper appears in his hands

-reading the words carefully, explaining how you were genderfluid, even chuckling at the little joke on the end. his expression softened as he looked back up at you, whipping his own pen out and scribbling something on the back

-giving you back the note, you turn it over to see what he said, never breaking eye contact with the boy standing across from you

-on the back, a question:

              im also genderfluid/flexible

              do you still want to go on this date with me?

              [  ] yes    [  ] no

-chuckling at the expression on your face, he pulls the paper away from you smiling as he places his hands on either side of your face, looking deep into your eyes with a smile, “gender is superficial, birth is a curse and existence is a prison. but i love you no matter what you decide.”

-leaving you with a peck on the cheek, he opens the car door for you, gesturing grandly at the car seat, “my kind sir, your date awaits.”

BONUS!

-he also identifies as genderfluid! even though he’s mostly inclined to be masculine leaning, he does have his days where everything will just Shift and you’ll wake up next to Girlfriend!Sae

-he’s one to roll with the pronoun punches depending on whichever you prefer that day, and,, of course,, Saeyoung being Saeyoung, he created a little marker for the both of you to recognize each others pronouns, whether this be a bracelet, a pendant, a different one for each pronoun.

-essentially he creates a fun way to acknowledge each others pronouns without speaking 

-he does this with literally anything, including what mood he’s in, sometimes you’ll just trip over a pillow in the hallway and be like, “well shit I gotta drag this boy back to bed to sleep now huh”

-he Dies when you wear his clothes, specifically his button ups- which causes him to basically become the ultimate mess around you, taking all of his energy to not sit you on the counter and passionately make out with you right then and there in front of his brother

-as opposed to the funny getups he would use when he was a secret agent- Girlfriend!Sae takes herself seriously; she’s not overly feminine, dressing about the same, and the only thing thing that really shifts is the fact that she suddenly has a chest, way longer hair and different pronouns (also looks Amazing in makeup)

-Saeyoung, being a Master of Disguise, is exceedingly good at sharpening or softening features with makeup, and all you have to do is ask him and he’s already sitting in front of you making you looks more masc/femme

-,,,, fashion shows as Saeran eats popcorn and watches his idiot brother and his s/o make a big fuss on “Who Wore What Better”

[fiftyshadesgrl]

He saved me/ part 8

Summary: reader is in a abusive relationship. When things take a turn foe the worst she finds help in the winchesters.

Warning: this story will have smut, violence, abuse, language and torture. If youre triggered by any of this then i suggest you dont read.

An hour later we were back at the garage. Me and sam both worked up a sweat but we had fun. We even raced back to the bunker but i think he let me win.

I walked down the steps and found dean in the library with his feet propped up on the table. Sam said he was going to get a shower and disappeared down the hall.

"Have a good run?" Dean asked crossing his arms over his chest.

"I did, it was just what i needed. Fresh air and time to clear my head. I feel great, well i will after i get a shower. Im all sweaty." The last line made dean take a deep breath in and he closed his eyes. Seemingly battling with whatever was going on inside his head.

I took this time to mess with him a little. "My clothes are glued to me. Im going to have to peel them off." Dean growled and threw his head back, i couldnt help but giggle.

I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and took a drink. I tipped the bottle and a little bit of the water ran down my chest, down my clevage area and into my sports bra. I rubbed the water over my neck and down my chest, a small moan escaped my lips.

"Thats a good way to cool off." I opened my eyes to see dean watching me with that same flame in his eyes as earlier. I bit my lip and smiled as he ran a hand over his face. He pushed his chair back and walked over towards me.

He grabbed me by the hips and pulled me in close to him. "I know what youre fuckin doing. Its not funny."

I ducked my head, "im sorry, i dont know what it is. When youre near me i just get this feeling come over me. It wont happen again."

I pulled away from him and made my way down the hall towards my room. Before i got to my door i looked behind me to see dean sprinting towards me. He pushed me up against the wall as his lips covered mine. Our tongues danced with each other as my hands found their way into his hair.

"Youre driving me crazy, (Y/N). Dont you know that?" Dean said as his lips found the sensitive spot on my neck.

"Im sorry." I moaned against his shoulder.

"Dude, you both have rooms ya know." Sam said from the hallway beside of us. Dean pulled away from me just as sam walked towards his bedroom and shut the door.

Dean looked back at me, he laid his forehead against mine. "I cant do this."

I finally got the nerve to speak up, "why dean?"

He closed his eyes, "(Y/N), youve been through so much in such a short amount of time. I cant take advantage of you, cause thats what it would be. Youre confused right now. You are trying to heal from what parker has done to you. Give yourself some time."

I shook my head, "no dean, im thinking clearly for the first time in a long time. I want you and im not going to change my mind."

I took his hand and led him into my bedroom. I sat him down on the bed and i sat beside him. "Why do you think you would be taking advantage of me?" I asked placing my hand on his knee.

"Because thats what it would be." Dean said averting his eyes from mine.

"Youre not like that dean."

He shook his head, "you dont know anything about me."

I straddled him and took his face in my hands. "I know enough about you to know that you wouldnt do that to me. I trust you. I know you feel this whats going on between us, i can see it in your eyes."

"(Y/N), please." He tried to pull away from me but i wasnt having it.

"You have made me feel more alive in these past two weeks then i have my entire life. You calm me and excite me at the same time. I crave your touch dean." I whispered the last line against his lips.

I took his hand in mine and put it against my hip under my shirt. "Touch me dean." He screwed his eyes shut as his jaw muscle clench. "Please. Touch me, i need you." I whispered in his ear.

He closed his eyes tight and growled, "damn it." His hands were everywhere. He pulled my shirt over my head in a flash and threw it behind me. His lips found the right spot on my neck as he unclasped my bra, it fell to the floor as well. His hands cupped my breasts roughly, his mouth on one nipple as he pinched the other.

I threw my head back as a moan escaped my lips. I ripped his flannel from his shoulders and soon his shirt. At least we were skin to skin from the waist up. One of his hands were tangled in my hair gripping and pulling tight as his other was on the back of my neck.

"Oh dean." I whispered against his neck. He flipped us to where i was laying on the bed, i let out a small giggle as he smiled against my lips. He gripped the waist band of my shorts, he looked up into my eyes i guess asking for permission. Making sure that this is what i wanted. I raised my hips up and he took that as a yes. He pulled them down and gasped as he saw that i wasnt wearing underwear.

"Youre so fuckin beautiful." He said as he knelt down in front of me. He pushed my thighs open and didnt waste any time devouring me. His tongue flicking and making circles around my clit, i writhed beneath him clawing at his head. My fingers tangled in his hair and pulled lightly.

An animalistic growl came from him and it shook me to my core. I started to tense as i felt my orgasm building inside of me. "Dean, im so close." I whispered, trying to keep it down as to not disturb sam.

He then slid two fingers inside me and i couldnt keep quiet any longer. My orgasm rocked through me as dean pounded his fingers inside me and never let up on my clit.

"Oh....my......god.......yes!" I screamed out as i felt a warm gush running down and soaking the sheets. After i had quit shaking dean was on top of me. He had shed the rest of his clothing sometime while i was coming down from my high.

"You sure you want this?" Dean asked as i felt his dick pressing against my entrance. I nodded and he shook his head, "you gotta tell me sweetheart." I growled in frustration, "just shut up and fuck me winchester."

He smiled and slowly entered me. He was being gentle like he was trying not to break me. I pushed my hips up letting him know to go faster. He really started moving as another orgasm hit me.

"Thats it baby, cum all over my cock. Oh yeah baby, im cumming." Dean yelled as his veins protruded from his neck. After we came down from the bliss of finally becoming one dean slumped beside me on the bed. He rolled over on his side and pulled me close to him, "that was the best sex ive ever had." He said his breathing ragged.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he kissed the top of my head.

I nodded and placed a kiss in the middle of his chest. "Im better than okay, i dont know if there are words for the way im feeling right now." But in the back of my mind i knew one word that i almost let slip, love. I loved dean winchester but i couldnt tell him.

My eyes opened some time later, i didnt even realize i had fallen asleep. The bed was empty beside me, i ran my hand over the cold sheets he hadnt been there for a while. I stood up and found his flannel on the floor, wrapped it around me feeling secure wrapped in his masculine scent. I button a few buttons just enough to be decent if sam was around and made my way out to find dean.

I walked into the kitchen thinking he might be there but he wasnt. The clock on the coffee maker read 3:15 am. Theres no way he could be out at this hour, unless i wasnt enough for him and he went out to find something better.

I got a bottle of water from the fridge and walked into the library. I spied dean sitting at the table a bottle of whiskey and a half full glass which he downed when he saw me.

"Are you okay?" He asked gruffly

I nodded, "yeah, why wouldnt i be?"

He poured some more in his glass and drank half of it before speaking again. "Im so sorry, i should have controled myself more. After everything youve been through...." He stopped and downed the rest of the whiskey in his glass.

I walked over to him and before he could refill it i took the glass from him and placed it on the table. I sat on his knee and took his face in my hands. "Hey, why are you worrying about this so much. If i didnt want it and i wasnt ready i wouldve said so." His green eyes were red rimmed and i could see unshed tears in them. "I love you dean. I wanted to say it before but i was scared of your reaction. Im not scared anymore."

I smiled at him but he didnt return it. "You cant love me. Its to dangerous. Im sorry." With that he gently lifted me off his lap, then he walked up the stairs slamming the bunker door behind him. Not what i expected. After everything that had happened between us only a few hours ago i was sure he cared for me in some way. The way he just ran out on me proved otherwise. The tears fell that i didnt even know were coming, i sat there for an hour before i decided i no longer want to be here.

I made my way to sams door and began knocking. When he answered the door his hair was a mess and sleep clung heavy in his eyes.

"(Y/N). Whats wrong?" A tinge of worry in his voice.

"Im packing up and leaving. I just wanted to say goodbye and thank you for everything." I said tears still streaming down my face.

"Wait, what? Why? What happened, what brought this on?" He opened the door all the way bidding me to come in.

After i had explained everything to sam it was nearly dawn. "Im sorry sam but i cant stay here. I just wanted to let you know."

Sam nodded, "i understand but dean is very closed off. You have to understand that everyone hes ever loved hes lost them some way. He doesnt want to add more names to the list. Hes only protecting you so he cares, even if he didnt show you the way you thought he would."

I shook my head, "i still cant stay here. Not anymore, ive been a burden long enough."

Sam sighed and placed his hand on my knee. "Youve never been a burden. Thats all in your head, but if youre set on leaving do me a favor."

I looked up into his eyes for the first time. "What?"

"Dont go far. We have someone you can stay with until we figure this out about parker. Youll be safe there."

"Who is it?" I asked in a low voice. Hating to have to be a burden on yet another person.

Sam smiled, "another hunter, one of the best actually. His name is bobby singer. He will welcome you with open arms. Then after all this blows over and we end this you can go where ever you want to go if its still what you want."

"On one condition." I stood and walked to the door. "Dont tell dean where i am. Just tell him i left and that im okay."

Sam nodded, "okay, ill call bobby and work everything out."

I nodded then walked out the door. I had everything packed up in 10 minutes seeing that everything dean had bought me was still in the store bags and what wasnt i gathered up in just a few minutes. I changed my clothes and walked back down to sams door he was standing outside it waiting on me.

"Bobby said he would meet halfway and pick you up. You ready? You got everything?" Sam asked.

I nodded, "yeah just give me a minute ill meet you in the library."

Sam nodded and made his way to the library. I walked to deans door and opened it seeing the room bare. I laid my favorite shirt of his, the one that gave me so much comfort on his bed. I let a few tears spill down my cheeks but the memory of him walking out on me dried them up quickly. I shut the door silently and made my way to sam.

He had my bags in his hands and gave me a sad smile. I made my way up the stairs and to sams car. It wasnt like the impala but as long as it got me to bobby then thats all that matters. If the winchesters trusted him then so did i. I had heard stories about bobby how he was a second father to them.

We drove in silence for a few minutes but sam decided to break it. "You dont have to do this. You should still stay with us."

"I cant sam." Was all i said.

"You know dean will eventually find out where you are. Not by me of course, but he will eventually. Cas could find you easily." Sam said with a sigh.

I shook my head. "Tell cas not to tell dean. I dont want him to come look for me. He made it clear how he felt. Im not enough for him. Parker was right."

"(Y/N)..."

"No sam, dont try to make it out to be anything more than what it is. He doesnt care for me, not the way that i do for him. I was a fool to think he could." I tried to not let my voice shake but i failed at that. When sam opened his mouth to speak again i silenced him with holding my hand up.

We drove for three hours until sam pulled off the road beside a beat up blue car. A elder man stood outside the drivers side door with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the door.

Sam got out first and moved to the trunk to get my bags. I stepped out as the elder man opened his trunk.

After the bags were placed in the trunk bobby walked over to me. "You must be (Y/N), im bobby."

"Nice to meet you bobby." I shook his outstretched hand as he smiled at me. I turned back towards sam, my heart breaking all over again. I gave him a sad smile as a tear slid down my cheek.

He engulfed me in a hug, "if you ever need us, or me all you have to do is call."

I nodded not trusting myself to speak.

When he let me go i gave him a quick peck on the cheek and climbed into bobbys car. Knowing if i was to look back i would change my mind. Bobby climbed in soon after and sped off in the opposite direction from where me and sam came. I watched in the mirror as long as i could, until sams tail lights werent visible anymore.

"So, why are you runnin?" Bobby asked, surprising me.

"Sam didnt tell you?"

He nodded, "he told me, still doesnt answer the question. Why are you runnin?"

I sighed, "dean walked out on me after i told him how i felt. I thought he cared about me. I was wrong, parker was right. Ill never be good enough for anyone."

"Well darlin, im going to be blunt with you. Dean is a idjit when it comes to loving or caring for someone. I love him like he was my own but sometimes he can be a real pain in the ass."

"You can say that again." I sigh.

"But he has a good reason for being distant with people. The less people you love and are close to the less people you lose. Its just the way this life is." Bobby finally finished.

I understood where bobby was coming from. Still i wasnt enough for dean. So my choice still remained the same.

We pulled up in front of bobbys house a couple hours later. He carried my bags up the stairs as i followed behind him. He led me into im guessing a spare room that was used as a file room. There was a queen sized bed against the wall but other than that it was just files and file cabinets and books.

"Its not much, sorry about the mess ill have it cleaned up in a few days." He said placing my bags at the foot of the bed. "You have the whole top floor to yourself. My room and bathroom is downstairs."

I nodded and smiled "you dont need to rearrange your life for me. I wont be staying long."

Bobby turned towards me with a solem look on his face. "Now (Y/N), i promised sam i would look after you until parker was took care of."

"Look i intend to stay here until parker is dealt with, but in the meantime i want to learn how to hunt. I want to take him out myself. I want you to teach me everything you know."

Bobby was hesitant for the first few days but eventually he agreed. A week into my lessons and i was beat, but i was determined to be in this life. I was becoming stronger and it was also helping me deal with alot of issues. Never again would i be a victim.

@an-unhealthy-obsession

[suicidalcatz]

DOG DAYS ARE OVER : CHAP 9

Pairing : Jake Kiszka x reader

Genre : College AU

Previous parts : Prologue ; Chap 1 ; Chap 2 ; Chap 3 ; Chap 4 ; Chap 5 ; Chap 6 ; Chap 7 ; Chap 8

Masterlist : here

AN : Hello reader ! How we feelin today ? Yeah me too, I guess it’s time for a party then ! But pay extra attention to the title, I warned you. I’ll be waiting at the end, I have some things I’d like to discuss, see you in a few!

Chapter 9 : Be careful, okay ?

Unsurprisingly, it turned out that we were the only ones invited, for some reason I couldn't quite decipher. It was only December so maybe the boys didn't make friends with their other classmates yet, but still I found it odd. They were funny, nice, and really, really skilled. But their friends, or lack of for instance, wasn't a topic I could bring just like that, so I'll have to wait for now and ask any of the twins when we were alone, I guess. Couldn't say I was surprised by their dorms, too, as they were pretty much the same as ours, maybe a little bit more messier. The four of them slept there, in two different rooms, on two different floors, from what I understood.

Josh of course lead the way, while Mandy was whispering questions she couldn't keep in her head but was too shy to say out loud for everybody to hear.

- Who's the long haired bassist ?

- That would be Sam, my little brother, he replied in the same quiet tone. Why ? Interested ?

Mandy poked him in the ribs when he smirked at her in a suggestive way, and I let out a chuckle. The boys were all in favor of going inside to get warm and drink together while getting to know each other. It seemed like a good program. We helped them bring all of their stuff back inside either to the Music Dept building (drums and mic) or their dorm (guitar, bass and amps). And as Jake wouldn't let me lift anything that he deemed heavy, they declared me tambourine supervisor, making a show of putting it in my hands like a holy relic and insisting that this job meant a lot of responsibilities. Not gonna lie I was feeling kind of stupid seeing them carrying gigantic amps in their arms while the tambourine I got kept ringing with every step I took as if to remind me how useless I was.

- Oh that's him you were talking about last time, I said while sneaking a peek at him behind my shoulder. You guys really look alike. And the drummer is your childhood friend Danny, right ?

Josh looked positively surprised for a moment before acquiescing, asking me how I knew this info.

- Jake told me one time, when you were rehearsing.

The thought of that night made me smile to myself, remembering the awful pictures and odd war metaphors with poor Danny trying to calm everybody down. However, my smile disappeared quickly when I caught Josh's unamused expression. It didn't last long, hardly a second, before he found his usual cheerful self, but it was enough to make me uneasy. Something in his eyes told me there was something wrong. And I knew it was linked to Jake, I just ignored why. A piece of the puzzle was missing and it was slowly upsetting me since nobody cared to tell me. He was weird when he saw the both of us hanging out together, and flipped when he discovered we texted, but I thought we were over that now. So was he still upset about the whole thing ? Should I avoid talking about it even though I have his phone number too now ? Or am I being totally paranoid ?

The singer abruptly stopping still in the middle of the hallway got me out of my thoughts, though, painfully so since I face-planted on the back of his head and shoulder blades, making the tambourine ring in the process.

- Please stay with us mama, we're here.

Rubbing my nose, I heard Sam snort loudly and probably at me but had already been warned that he was a sass master, so took no offense in it. Danny, on the other hand, seemed like the sweetest dude alive. Always smiling and asking if we needed help with anything, with a quiet charm and a soothing aura. What a great guy. Now that I knew a bit more about the Kiszkas, I felt sympathy for his poor soul.

Jake came by my side, and I suddenly got surrounded by the twins, one of them waiting impatiently at my left, and the other filling the empty space between the wall and I. Gently dropping his amp on the ground, he searched in his jeans pockets for the key to their room, lightly brushing my face with his hair in the process, before bending over a little to unlock the door. He moved aside just enough so that Josh could have the honor of introducing us to their room by violently slamming the door open while posing and screaming « TADA ! ». Shaking his head, Jake got in first, seemingly not in the mood to wait for his brother, switching on the lights and putting his guitar and amp at their place in a corner of the room. Josh motionned us to go first, and Mandy pushed me by the shoulders.

It looked... just like them. And smelled like them, too. The ground was covered by gigantic berber carpets, bunk beds were on the side of a wall, cornered by guitars, amps, and boxes of vinyles piled up in a tower. Some rock legends posters were displayed here and there next to their respective beds, and facing their single wardrobe, which I supposed they all had 2 drawers of it. On top of it was a turntable, and facing the door a window and a messy, messy desk. Orange leathered fatboys were sitting on the floor, an ashtray was hiding in a corner beside the wardrobe, and a door next to the desk was leading the way to their kitchen. Raising my head, I saw they had decorated their celling with colorful fabrics in red, maroon and orange, keeping one of them at the window as a curtain. Numerous mobiles hung by the celling, some of them with agate and quartz stones of every color, others in the shape of animals crafted by hand, and the whole room smelled of masculine perfume and incense. It was so them I was suddenly aware of where I stood and every nervousness I had lost came rushing back again.

- Welcome to our humble home, greeted Josh as Sam had already climbed barefoot on the top bunk.

- Please make yourself comfortable, added Jake.

The brunette removed his shoes and went around the room to get a towel in order to scrub his sweaty face, letting it stay around his neck. Danny asked Mandy if he could take the beer keg to get us all drinks and she thanked him, standing by my side frozen in their doormat.

- Oh please don't stay here ladies, have a seat, anywhere you want.

Josh didn't even have to turn around from his vinyle collection to know we didn't move an inch, it was honestly scary how well he knew us already. That piqued Jake's interest who raised his head and gestured for us to come.

- This is my bed, he said while straightening the covers a bit, feel free to sit on it if you want to.

Jake then sat down on the bottom bunk and gave a heavy pat on the mat, and that's the moment Mandy chose to shake out of it and push me on the bed in the less discreet way possible to make sure I couldn't sit anywhere else but besides Jake. I swear to God.

The death glare I gave her when she made herself comfortable on a fatboy was so intense that she felt it and smirked at me. Unbearable.

- Be careful not to bump your head, okay ?

Jake's raspy voice came to my ears and when I turned my head he was smiling at me, hand on the back of the top bed. We were cramped in here, not having much space to ourselves and almost hitting our heads with every movement we made, but it came with a strange sense of security and intimacy. You could put a curtain around us, and it'd be like we were all alone.

- If you're uncomfortable you can always sit on the ground or take the desk chair, interrupted Josh without looking away from his vinyles.

Both his brother and I shot a glance at him but he wasn't returning the favor, instead he kept his face burried in his boxes, trying to find something to listen to. His behavior was beginning to concern me more than I thought it would. And even Jake raised a questionning brow at his intervention. For some reason he looked really serious, with a closed expression. Not someone you'd like to ask the hour on the street. I shrugged it off for now, like the others did, telling myself it'll pass eventually, and that we were all gonna have a fun night together. Once Josh finally found something worth listening to, Sam let out a loud sigh of relief before relaxing into the bed cracking under him, letting his long legs hang into the nothingness between the mattress and the ground.

- Oh, you must be reading my mind, he groaned. Finally some fucking good music. All those pop and rap concerts today nearly made my head explode.

We all snickered at that comment and a smiley Danny put a goblet of beer in all of our hands before settling down next to Mandy. Once Josh was absolutely sure of his choice of music and nodded along in the rythmn of the first few seconds, he climbed on the desk and clapped his hands in his little brother's direction, something that surprised me for a second before Sam threw a little box his way, and I understood. They had a weed box, that Josh opened and began to roll a joint for us to smoke together.

As the night went on, my former stiff posture got more relaxed, and Mandy had already befriended every person in the room, requesting for Sam to teach her how to roll a proper joint, and laughing at Danny's witty interventions on the matter. We were pleasantly either drunk or high at this point and Josh got into an unstoppable karaoke mode, blessing us with his singing and exaggerated dance moves, only focused on the music blaring through the turntable's speaker. Jake and I were face to face now, sitting cross-legged while he passionately shared his knowledge on astronomy with me. And I knew for a fact that in this moment all the stars he spoke about were nothing in comparision to the ones he had put into my eyes when he talked with such passion to what he and other people  deemed as nerdy subjects. With the alcohol running in my veins, listening carefully to the words coming out of his mouth was becoming more of a challenge, especially when said mouth looked so delicious, with his voice low and eyelids hooded by the drinks he had.

- I'm sorry that's not interesting, he finally apologized while running his fingers through his hair.

- What, no ! I love listening to you, you know so much stuff, it's impressive.  

On the covers, my hand found his knee in a reassuring manner, too fixed on his smile to care about everything else. The world could catch on fire and I wouldn't even notice, had a feeling he wouldn't either. We were in our own little bubble, not paying attention to anything that wasn't the other. Mandy flirting with Sam, Danny contemplating the ceiling, Josh singing loudly ; everything was just background noise to us. Certainly because he was drunk himself, Jake took my hand in his to give my knuckles a light peck kiss.

- Thank you. If only people were more like you...

He trailed off, taken aback by the sudden music change, and gave me back my hand. My heart was still banging against my ribcage while he was trying to guess what the song was, asking his twin for a confirmation. The sensation of his soft lips against my hand was still very vivid, and my brain was too busy replaying his last sentence again and again to think of anything else. A fluttering sensation I knew too well spread in my stomach when he returned his attention to me, a boyish smile adorning his mouth. I could ear him say how much he loved that band, but my heart was still thumping so loud in my ears that I stood there in silence, replying to his smile with my own and craddling my hand with the other like I just got burned.

Unaware of my internal breakdown, Jake let the joint hang between his lips, and my gaze could only follow his movements before he noticed me.

- My bad, do you want some ?

My whole being was on auto pilot and I only bobbed my head at his question, letting the boy in front of me put the joint between my own lips, getting his zippo to light it for me.

- There ya go, don't inhale too hard or your head'll get dizzy. Try to keep the smoke in for a bit.

Taking a deep breath, I did as I was instructed, his eyes never leaving mine as I did, careful and cautious until he motioned for me to blow. As an art student, it obviously wasn't my first time smoking weed, because all stereotypes were true, people here smoked a lot. More than necessary if you'd ask me. But it felt good nevertheless to be taken care of while I did, even being instructed what do to. I didn't cough, but my face heated up almost instantly as I felt the smoke burn my lungs and my vision getting a bit blurry with the drinks I had before. The whole room reeked of weed and booze Sam had toppled on the carpet, the air filled with a thick cloud of white smoke mixing with those of the incenses Josh had lit up earlier. Jake took the joint between his fingers, considering the few centimeters left before looking at me with a serious expression.

- Do you trust me ?

- Of course I do.

Maybe sober me would've said that it depended on the topic or asked what shenanigans he was up too, but drunk me was on autopilot mode and couldn't get enough of Jake, whether it was his scent, his voice, or his fingers and knees brushing mine because of how close we were sitting. So it really didn't matter right now, I trusted him with anything.

- Come closer, he muttered while putting half of the joint on his mouth.

He gestured for me to get closer to him and swiftly brushed my hair behind my shoulder before framing my face with both of his hands, fingers linking our two heads together as he leaned on me, keeping us merely inches apart. With the joint between us, he began blowing smoke for me to inhale, keeping it from escaping with the barrier his hands formed. It was intense. Both the strong effects and the proximity of our bodies. I don't know which one made my heart rate go wild, too concentrated on his eyes just in front of me, body heat emanating of his body and bathing mine in a warm sensation. I could feel some of his fingers gently tug on my hair as it got tangled in it, and automatically put my hands on his shoulders during the exhange, giving it a firm squeeze when I couldn't take more weed. It hardly lasted more than a few seconds but everything seemed to happen in the painfullest slow imaginable. I coughed, this time, not letting go of Jake's arms as he took me in his arms, rubbing circles on my back.

- Are you crazy ?

Tiny tears had gathered at the corner of my eyes because of the smoke but I could still clearly ear Josh's humorless voice next to us. My back was facing him so I missed the exchange but Jake's body tensed and his hand left my back as he shrugged, probably silently asking his brother what was up. Wanting to calm my breathing to listen to them only made my body betray me as a violent coughing fit got over me, causing me to shake and Jake to reaffirm his hold on me.

- Can't you tell she's not used to it ? Good job, Jake.

- I'll get her some water.

His voice resonnated in my ear before I felt him slowly detach himself from me to get up. I could tell part of him was upset his brother kept nagging him, but the other one probably felt too guilty to retort and he just got to the sink with an empty glass in hand. Scrubbing my eyes, I met Josh's sympathetic gaze before he patted me on the hand, and even though I'd usually appreciate his concern, his whole bizarre behavior had me more upset than anything at this point so I shook his hand off to follow Jake in the next room, slaloming between Danny's large sleepy body and Mandy and Sam's spot. I found him in the dark, standing back to the door, checking the water with his index finger to make sure it was cold enough.

- Hey.

When the brunette looked at me, his concerned eyes made me instantly feel guilty. Maybe I should've been more responsible, but I was okay, more than okay, I didn't drink too much or anything, just enough to feel light-headed, and there really wasn't anything to get worried about.

- I'm sorry I made you smoke too much, he started while filling the red cup.

- You didn't do anything wrong, I just had a coughing fit. You know, I said while getting closer, I used to do this with friends so you don't have to feel bad or anything.

A small smile spread at the corner of his lips and he turned off the water, only looking at me when he handed me the cup. And after all the booze, weed, and smoke, I must admit it felt pretty nice to have cold water running down my throat.

- I know, but I should've been more cautious, y'know ? One time I got carried away and my girlfriend got sick so I should've known better s'all.

My heart stopped at his words. I didn't hear correctly what he just said. It wasn't possible. Maybe I was too drunk after all, imagining things that nobody said, ever. A painful lump grew in my throat, making it impossible for me to drink anymore. My stomach was in knots, overcoming my whole body with a nauseous feeling. My voice was small and strangled as I spoke.

- Your girlfriend ?

- Yeah, Mina. She lives in our hometown so it's kinda hard, but I feel like you two would get along so fine. You kinda remind me of her sometimes, you know ?

A fond and nostalgic smile danced on his lips as he said that, making me want to vomit for real now. Not because I was disgusted, but because my stomach kept turning on itself, and my breath was stuck in my lungs. I put the cup back in the sink when I noticed my fingers were shaking. How could've been so stupid ? Of course he had a girlfriend. I wanted to cry and then laugh at myself for being so dumb. Of course there was no way this perfect boy was single, what was I even thinking ? Anger started rising within me, at myself, for being this delusional. I was feeling downright pathetic to have ever thought he could love me the way I loved him, and what pained me the most was that I was the only one I could blame.

- Everything alright here ?

That's when Josh's head peaked through the open door and I sucked in a breath, feeling tears clouding my vision. Unable to bear it much longer, I faked a headache and waved everyone goodbye, only letting myself cry in the comfort of my dorm.

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AN : Not gonna lie I’m so stressed about this chapter, please don’t hate me, I had this idea in mind for a while now. The Angst Days Are Not Over unfortunately, but it’ll get better in a few chapters. Please let me know what you think, feel free to message me or review, see you on Saturday for Part 10 ! (And I’m currently writing Part 13 atm) As always, thanks for the love and support, I know this is a slow burn so you might get impatient but we’ll get to it soon now.