#he did it all and he was selfish for it!

[threebea]

Anakin wasn't dillusioned with the Jedi to the point he became Darth Vader.

Palpatine was trying to seperate Anakin from the Jedi and make them suspicious of Anakin and make Anakin resentful of them, yes, but it wasn't to make him want to kill all Jedi. He wanted to make sure Anakin had nowhere to turn about Padme by playing on Anakin's fears and insecurities.

The Council won't give him the rank of Master. Anakin brushes off Padme's suggestion that Obi-Wan could help them. "We don't need him."

Anakin resents the Council for not making him a Master and he resents the request to spy on Palpatine, but he tells Mace that Palpatine is the Sith. He doesn't show up later because he's trying to figure out if the Jedi are the real villains for doing a coup, he's worried that if Palpatine dies he won't be able to save Padme.

And during the confrontation Anakin is fine with arresting Palpatine. He tries to argue for Palpatine's life despite Palpatine actively shooting force lightning because if Palpatine dies he can't get the Sith secrets he has.

The reason Anakin hates the Jedi comes from two places:

⭐

1: he had to kill a bunch of them during order 66. Like during the slaughter of the Sand People he's blaming everyone but himself. It's the Council's fault, it's the Jedi's fault, they all deserved it. Even the children. If they had done xyz I wouldn't have to kill them.

2. Obi-Wan, who Anakin views as the epitome of what a Jedi is, who Anakin cares about on a personal level 'betrays' him and leaves him to die in lava. Anakin cares more about personal relationships than ideology and even then it's all fear based where he worries about loss. He loses Padme, Obi-Wan leaves him, all he has left is Palpatine. And once again he's blaming Obi-Wan for Obi-Wan betraying him and ignoring the fact he just slaughtered Obi-Wan's family. He thinks he should matter more than everything else... Even though he was actively trying to kill Obi-Wan moments before.

Vader knows what Palpatine is, but Vader is locked into hatred.

It's far easier to convince yourself your victims deserve it while being a darksider than knowing they were innocent and still being turning back to the light. Being a darksider is selfish. It's about what you feel and the power you have. The Jedi deserve to die because I hate them. Not the Jedi died because I was afraid of loss.

And this is the thing the Anakin Skywalker Obi-Wan describes to Luke was real. He was a good man, he was Obi-Wan's best friend, but Anakin was afraid and in the moments where it matters he falters. A good person becomes twisted and evil because of their own fear. That's the Darkside.

[eternallovers65]

The idea of poseidon only helping percy because he saw athena not helping annabeth is so funny because it shows how messy the Greek gods are like wdym you have a millennium old beef with your niece and the only reason you saved your kid it's so you can say you're better parent than her???

[cannibalisticskittles]

so much of the wigmaker's job continues to stay with me but especially this bit.

like. do you think illario hearing lucanis brush off the possibility of his death again and again contributed to illario giving lucanis to zara.

because yes, of course there's jealousy. of course there is. lucanis is primed to get everything illario wants and nothing illario does seems to change that in the slightest. he can never be good enough, not when there's lucanis to measure up to.

but. not only does lucanis not actually want what's coming his way (he does not at all want to be first talon but they both know caterina DOES want this and lucanis could never tell her no), he's also throwing himself into these jobs with such disregard for his personal safety that there's a sense of inevitability that surrounds the idea of his death.

this conversation feels like... it may not have been discussed like this so clearly before, but they've at least poked around the edges in the past. thought about it. and this moment might have been a turning point, in a way -- illario coming to terms with the fact that lucanis really just will. not. stop. for ANYTHING. his cousin WILL get himself killed doing this and lucanis won’t have any regrets. he’ll leave illario to go this alone. (no one to follow after anymore.)

i wonder if he started to think -- if lucanis is going to die anyway, maybe it’d be better to have that happen sooner, rather than later.

lucanis wouldn’t be happy as first talon (+ honestly, maybe this part is a stretch, but illario seems to see that what lucanis is NOW isn’t so much ‘happy’ as it is ‘obedient and content to accept the scraps that gives him’), and he’s GOING to get himself killed doing this, anyway…

so yeah, he could wait it out. wait for lucanis to do something foolish enough that he can't just walk away from it. maybe he’ll even last long enough to be made first talon (if caterina can bear to loosen her grip from the title) and be miserable for a while. years even, maybe! before lucanis, again, does something he can’t walk away from.

or.

illario could cut through all the pointless waiting and get right to the point. go straight to where this was always going to end up. and if illario is in charge of this, maybe he can benefit from it, and salvage one good thing from this whole mess, instead of being caught up in it later down the line.

(which then might tread into the territory of anticipated grief, too – lucanis' loss will be agony, but, if illario controls when and how it happens, he can control his grief. …except he hadn’t accepted the inevitability of lucanis’ death quite as well as he’d thought and when he gets sloshed at the wake, real grief seeps through the cracks)

just... something about this conversation. both of them viewing lucanis’ death as a foregone conclusion. lucanis accepting that easily, and illario struggling with that more -- and maybe having that shape his actions. not exactly a healthy expression of grief, but since when has anything this family done been healthy?

[shoezuki]

Thinkin bout Sampo Koski rn as like. His character n what we get of him in honkai star rail and he fucking. He confuses me like. There has to be So Much more to him like

The general vibes of him and especially how other characters treat him is that of comic relief, a punching bag, a goof, just a slick conman causing trouble. It's genuinely difficult NOT to insult him n treat him badly with dialogue options and any time he's even mentioned March 7th hisses at him. He's literally a cryptid in belobog. He's a joke.

But. But. There's his light cone. It makes me insane. It contradicts all of that.

In it he's competent. He's badass. He's omnipotent. He's able to somehow know a sniper from however far away is locked on him and address them specifically.

And even like... in the entire plot of jarilo-vi he's spoken of like he's not much. He's a 4 star character. But he's practically as present as bronya and seele and Gepard and his involvement in the story is ASTRONOMICAL. He has a part in every major event. He's the one who drags the Trailblazers and bronya into the Underworld. He's the one who takes you to svarog, to the overworld again. He gets Natasha and saves you from svarog. He's the first character you ever meet on jarilo.

And he seems to just vanish before you confront cocolia. But no. Sampo is the one who has the last word and wraps up the entire mission on jarilo-vi. He fucking breaks the forth wall. Jarilo-vi both begins and ends with Sampo.

He calls himself shadowy comic relief yet he seemingly orchestrated everything. What is he. What the fuck is he doing. What else is up with him and when will we get more of him. I want to bite into him and tear him apart.

[museofthepyre]

I jest, but actually I can’t stop thinking about this HOW STRONG IS ELIJAH??????? HOW THE FUCK DID HE CARRY AN ENTIRE GRANDFATHER CLOCK INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS???? AND A MASSIVE HEFTY TOWER???? HE WAS OUT THERE DRAGGING AROUND THE DEAD WEIGHT OF WILD CATTLE!!!!! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN ADULT COW NEXT TO A HUMAN?????? THOSE THINGS ARE ABSOLUTE UNITS, MASSIVE, HEAVY, HOW WAS HE MOVING ALL THAT??????

Thus my conclusion, either Elijah is horrifyingly and inhumanly strong, or he is hiding a forklift somewhere out there.

[aappleslice]

THEY DON'T KNOW YOU LIKE I DO

[autumnwhistles]

(note: this is purely from a character perspective, not a comment on CCs.)

grian and scar have now both been in opposite positions to the original 'cactus ring', and it's so interesting to compare their attitudes to sacrifice on both ends. whether or not scar threw the fight in the cactus ring, he did offer for grian to kill him before it began. grian declined this, but was clearly fighting with the intention to win during the fight itself – he's giving scar a chance, but not sacrificing.

in secret life, scar's on the other end of things. he's fighting another winner – who herself has been sacrificed for previously – and, like grian, is going into what he assumes to be a fair fight... but which is in his favour due to the others' willingness to sacrifice themselves for him. this is a common pattern for winners: in whichever order, they take the win once, and are once willing to sacrifice themselves to let another take it.

cut to wild life.

this time, it's grian in the final two once more, yet again against an – albeit more distant – ally. he's got a win under his belt already, so you might expect him to do what pearl did, what scott did, right? sacrifice their chance at glory to let another taste it for the first time.

and yet:

"I'm going to have to kill Joel"

"Can I win this? I worked so hard on this series, I'd love to win it!"

because here's an important thing about life series!grian: though he's willing to even the playing field, he's not willing to sacrifice – not when it matters. pledge your loyalty to right a wrong, yes; give lives to gain allies hours, yes; refuse others' sacrifices to fight on fair terms, yes. but in the end, no matter how much he wants to stick with friends, no matter how bad he feels about it, no matter how may "i'm so sorry"s he gives – he will put his own life first, in the end.

there's a reason he's the reason for so many of his allies' deaths, after all. and in its contrast, the wild life finale showcases this beautifully.

(and for the record, i don't see anything wrong with this from an out-of-univere perspective – it's been 5 seasons and 3.5 years since Grian's last win, and even if it hadn't been, it's the CCs place to judge fairness, not ours.)

[recent-rose]

intrigued by the idea that jayce dooms viktor to become the herald because he loves viktor too much to let him die. but mage!viktor could also choose not to save jayce from the storm in order to save himself from that fate, and yet he too loves too much to let go of jayce. endless cycle only broken by their choice to go together.

[anyoldfandom]

I just had. A devastating realization.

In episode 3, when Six says "In our line of work, we need to be careful. People we pull into this life, they can too easily get caught in the crossfire."

And that always stood out to me bc it feels pretty personal, but we don't actually know who he's talking about. Not Holiday - she was in Providence before they met. Not One, he brought Six willingly into the life, and people don't really turn due to exposure with EVOs, so Six wouldn't have "pulled" him into anything. Maybe White getting bleached, but that was more a result of his own actions.

I always kind of thought it was a character we never met, an ambigous "someone" that died in his past, but on a rewatch today, it clicked that while Rex was talking about Circe...Six was talking about Rex.

Six brought Rex to Providence when he could've brought him anywhere else. Providence would've believed the robot destroyed - they did believe the robot was destroyed. Thry definitwly had no reason to link it to this kid. But Six brought this child, this EVO, to a place where he had earlier that day watched them kill another EVOfor research, where they had other human EVOs explicitly caged to deconstruct. He took Rex into the lion's den to show Holiday, and Rex had no idea. Six could've been more careful, and taken Holiday to see Rex instead.

But he was emotional. He was tired from seeing One suffer, tired of killing people and monsters, tired of fighting an endless war. It's very possible that working for Providence is what turned Six from that shitty, cocky guy he was 20 years ago into the tired soldier he was when he met Rex. He saw hope, an opportunity to save people, to save his father and bring hope to the only other person who seemed to care about EVOs beyond killing them.

And for that, Rex suffered. White suffered. Six watched the man he loved be forced into an office and the child and hope he wanted to protect fall under Providence's grasp. He pulled Rex into the life because he wasn't careful, denied him any semblance, any opportunity of a normal life. Six became Rex's protector, but he can't protect Rex from the very thing he pulled him into - the mistake he made because he let hope and desperation drive him.

And...it also makes me wonder. Do you think he feels he doesn't deserve Rex? Do you think his heart drops when Rex jumps headfitst into danger? When he sees the kid hurt on the field, or pushing himself past his limits to save people - do you think Six feels guilty he's in that situation? If he'd been just a little smarter, this child wouldn't be suffering. More people overall would be hurt, sure - but the child he cares about, the child who made him into a better man, would be safe. It's a selfish thought from a man who has only known the selfish life of a mercenary for so long, a man we see selfishly cling to hope with One's suffering.

And part of me wonders if that's part of the reason why he trusts Rex, but he tries to play it by the rules first at the beginning of the show. Thay beyond just protecting Rex, he feels responsible for this current danger Rex is in, and that the best he can do is protect Rex as much as he can, to take the brunt of the consequences of Rex's rebellion and stunts on himself.

[shanklin]

We should give Fish Stanley/ Relativity Falls Stanley, SHANKLIN give him a therapy possum that kid is too sad

Who do you think killed Filbrick???

Selfish Shellfish AU - Masterpost

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

october 1, 2021 4:15 p.m. grant's house

[juhani] hello? grant, can i call you tomorrow? it’s late.

[grant] no, you can’t. i know it’s 11 o’clock where you are right now, and i don’t really care. you answered, so you’ve trapped yourself.

[varpu, faintly] juha, if you don’t talk now, he will never call you back.

[juhani] i want to speak with you, of course i do, it’s just–

[grant] fantastic, because that’s what we’re doing. we’re talking! i have 30 years of stuff to get off my chest, and i'm sure you have your own piece to share. not sure where to start, but.

[juhani] may i ask you a question? what did you overhear at dinner the other night? are you upset i'm moving? is that it?

[grant] i mean, that stung a little after the whole “i’ll be around to build a relationship with you,” thing, but i gave you my express permission to go home, so it’s whatever. we are both adults, so i am not going to fault you for making adult decisions that improve your life. i'm more upset by you claiming you didn’t tell me about your plans or include me in the moving and wedding stuff and whatever because i'm difficult.

[juhani] that’s not what–

[grant] oh, come on. don’t kid yourself. you said it yourself, anything involving me is like pulling teeth. i heard it loud and clear.

[juhani] well, when i tell you things, you never react well. it always goes precisely like this conversation is going.

[grant] really? never? because i remember being pretty positive about your proposal and about you contacting me in the first place and about coming to dinner to acquaint myself with varpu’s kids and about meeting varpu a while back…

[grant] what i react poorly to is you leaving me out, you calling me difficult, you complaining about me in front of impressionable people, etcetera.

[juhani] i don’t want to leave you out.

[grant] that’s what varpu said, too, but i didn’t believe her, so why would i believe you?

[juhani] i have no idea how to interact with you. i've apologized to you, told you i regret the events of your childhood. nothing works.

[grant] do you regret it? because it kind of just feels like you’re doing the same shit again. abandoning me for your own self-interests. oh, and this time you’re replacing me with a brand new family you treat better.

[juhani] i'm not repl–okay, what would you prefer me do when you push me away? you told me i was difficult.

[grant] when did i say that? i mean, that's true, sure, but i would not say that to you. what i probably said that you’re misconstruing is that talking to you is hard because i'm not comfortable around you.

[juhani] and how long will it take you to be comfortable around me? i don’t know what else you want me to do. truly, i don’t, and it is not pleasant to be rejected endlessly.

[grant] well, i'd have to forgive you, but i don’t. if forgiveness was meant to happen, it would not be instant. you’d have to keep trying with me, even if i piss you off, even if i push you away. you’re my fucking father, it’s your job. you show up for your kid even if they’re horrible or annoying. you never turn your back on them. but, you know, you didn’t show up for the first 22 years you were around, so you’d have to try extra hard now to change my mind.

[grant] but honestly, i will never be comfortable around you. i've realized that over the last few days. i did actually think if you just kept trying, i'd relax and be less on edge, but nope. you could become an honest-to-god saint tomorrow, and i'll still be furious because nothing will make me understand why you couldn’t have been a decent person when i was a kid. like, when i needed you.

[grant] and i don’t get why you weren't. i don't. i'm serious. i can’t comprehend it. clearly, you have it in you to be a decent person. you love varpu's kids. you're fatherly towards them. you take them on vacation, you invite them to house and wedding venue tours, you tell them about and include them in your hobbies, you remember details about them, you smile at them without being forced, you go to their weddings and don’t flip out about them being queer even though you were viscerally disgusted with me when you found out–

[juhani] you shouldn’t bring them into this. it isn’t fair. and i've taken you on vacation before, for one.

[grant] i am being petty, but i think it's fair because i'm not shitting on them specifically. and yeah, okay, you took me on vacation once. you took me to finland exactly once, but i never met your family, and i remember nothing other than the plane rides.

[grant] and you shouldn’t do this. we don’t need to split hairs. you don’t need to crawl through that list of grievances and “well, actually” me as many times as you can manage. one vacation changes nothing. that does not erase all the times you sat there like a lame duck and ignored me or mocked me or let my mother abuse me. there is nothing for you to pat yourself on the back about.

[grant] nothing.

[juhani] so, what are you upset about now?

[grant] why?

[juhani] why what?

[grant] why are you like this? why were you a terrible father? why have no heart for me or my sisters? why did you save all your love for someone else’s kids?

[grant] oh, and how about cerise? you sure didn’t care about your bastard kids either, did you?

[grant] shit. i'm sorry. that just kind of came out. that’s not how i wanted to, you know, pepper that into this conversation. i was going to save that for the end.

[juhani] how do you know about her?

[grant] doesn't matter. it's a long story.

[grant] on that note, what is up with the secret daughter? how’d that happen? is she the only one, too, or should i be on the lookout for any other siblings? and hey, you only divorced my mother in the last few years, so you were cheating. how many times did you fuck around on her, and why would you? you wouldn’t divorce her because you were afraid of her, but apparently it's no big deal to cheat.

[juhani] grant, how can i answer you if you don't allow me to talk? cerise’s mother michelle is a doctor. your mother and i were both at a conference in detroit about healthcare outreach, and…

[juhani] i know it seems contradictory, given how long i stayed with your mother, but i was unhappy in the marriage. i met michelle there at the conference, and she was kind and intelligent, and i suppose the rest of the story should be obvious to you.

[grant] goddamn, man. i hate my mother, but that’s bold: sleeping with another woman right in front of her face.

[grant] did she ever find out?

[juhani] eventually. you remember how she was with the finances. she tracked all the money going in and out of the household. you couldn’t have one cent go missing without being accused of something, and she’d always blame it on some incident with her brother and start ranting about him.

[juhani] look, the agreement with michelle was that i'd stay out of her life and send child support, and she wouldn’t interfere with my family either. i used to lie and tell your mother the child support funds were going somewhere important, but she didn't believe me very long. she did finally question me and find out the truth.

[grant] and?

[juhani] in hindsight, her reaction reminds me a lot of the one she had when you lashed out at her during your graduation dinner. very little left her speechless, but that did. initially, i should clarify. she would go on to never let me live cerise’s existence down.

[juhani] and to answer your question, as far as i know, cerise is the only other child.

[grant] as far as you know?

[juhani] i cannot rule out further surprises.

[grant] jesus christ. my grandmother is right, all men are dogs, but you most of all.

[juhani] does it upset you that much?

[grant] again, i don’t like my mother, but if i needed any more proof that you’re more spineless than a sea sponge, this is it. you were so unhappy with my mother that you’d cheat on her, but you’d not divorce her when your kids were vulnerable.

[grant] you disgust me. you slept around and thought with your dick before you spared a single thought for the kids you let my mother abuse. or for yourself! fuck you. if you’re going to be that selfish, at least be selfish enough to prioritize yourself and leave the woman making you that miserable!

[grant] and now i don’t believe you when you say you wouldn’t leave her back then because you were scared of her. do you seriously mean to tell me it’s less terrifying to cheat on her than to just walk out of the house and never come back?

[grant] i did that, you know? when i'd had enough of my mother, i told her as much and then never spoke to her again. and guess what? wouldn’t you be so stunned to find out she’s never tracked me down, never tried to call or email to reel me back in? she left me alone after i told her to go fuck herself!

[grant] and technically, you know it's possible to leave her, too. what did you say about the divorce? that she just rolled over and let you do it and was fine with you just coughing up all the assets and dipping?

[grant] exhibits A, B, and C that she’s a coward, too. she thinks she’s the boss, but if you fight back hard enough, she gives up. you could have left her at any point in time.

[grant] god. oh my god. you stupid, spineless motherfucker. i thought i'd maxed out on anger. apparently not!

[grant] you really could have been a better father. you could have had your whole little life overhaul decades ago, and you could have saved the entire family so much pain. you, me, elizabeth, kelly…

[grant] i should have suspected as much, and i guess i did, but it's shocking to realize over and over just how useless you are as a father. i think it can't get any worse and then it does. you are a complete and utter failure as a parent.

[grant] this is why i can’t forgive you. you didn’t have to mess up so badly. but no. whatever you got out of the relationship was enough to convince you to sit there and watch my mother ruin all of us, and even thought you weren't happy with her, you got by with fucking other women and only regretted staying a billion years later when you noticed you had nothing of substance left in life but my mother. and that’s a pretty depressing way to live, isn’t it?

[juhani] i stayed because i thought we deserved each other.

[grant] with that attitude, maybe you did.

[grant] listen, i'll admit this, no problem. it’s no one’s fault that she is the way that she is. it’s not even yours. she’s abusive, and what she does to other people is her fault and her responsibility. she’s excellent, too, at convincing you to just go along with it and never question her. it's not that hard to get caught in her trap at first, and she will try her very best to break you. but at some point, you have to question anyway. at some point, you have to recognize you deserve better and do something about it.

[grant] but you didn’t. not until it was too late for it to mean anything.

[grant] i would never think i've done everything right, but in the end, i've respected myself enough to make better choices and do something about the situation i was in, and i've had to do that because the adults in my life weren’t responsible or organized enough to fix things before responsibility fell into my hands.

[juhani] you are a braver and a better man than i.

[grant] i'm glad i am, but do you know how exhausting it is to be brave all the time?

[grant] i am because you weren’t. it is entirely because you failed. you weren’t brave enough to give a fuck about yourself or your kids, so i've had to be brave my entire life. brave enough to survive my childhood, then brave enough to leave. and guess what? i don’t want to be brave. i just want to exist. and back then, i just wanted to be a kid.

[grant] just a kid.

[grant] i wanted to come home from school and play with my pokemon cards and hear my mom and my dad say, “hi honey! how was your day? we love you!" i didn’t want to live in fear of what horror would befall me each and every day.

[grant] fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. you stole my childhood. you stole elizabeth’s childhood. you stole kelly’s childhood.

[grant] you and my mother, but you could have done something. you could have given us our childhoods back. you could have done something! you should have done something!

[grant] you didn’t have to do everything right even. parents mess up, i know that, but you could have at least tried. the bar was on the floor. i would have over the moon living in a single parent household with a father who at least showed up to my hockey games if he wasn’t busy at work and gave me a hug every once in a while.

[grant] and you know what, you did more than steal our childhoods. because you couldn’t stand to sacrifice your comfort long enough to take care of your kids, we all have to live in permanent hell. i have to spend the rest of my life freaking out when someone walks up behind me or speaks too loudly or–god forbid–touches me! it took me years to finally learn not to flinch when someone high fives me! and kelly–i don’t know what she deals with, but i know her life can’t be peaceful.

[grant] again, i am not blaming you for what my mother did–i know she was not kind to you either– but i do blame you for not even trying to stop her or get away from her. you were an adult with power, and you didn't use an ounce of it. actually, you did use it, just not for good. you threw me specifically under the bus because it was easier to let my mother use me as a punching bag than you.

[juhani] you’re right.

[juhani] you’re right, grant.

[grant] i have nothing else to say, short of "fuck you" again. i think i'm done yelling at you.

[grant] no, wait, one last thing. what did you even see in my mother in the first place? what was so enticing about her that you’d stay with her so long and ditch your college sweetheart for her?

[juhani] i don’t know. i don’t know anymore.

[grant] i guess it was two people drawn to each other's misery.

[grant] great. well, that’s all, folks.

[grant] good luck with the new family. maybe you can make it right with someone else and enjoy a totally fresh start because you will never make it right with me, and i will never let you forget what you did to me and my sisters. and don’t lose varpu again, by the way. she is, like, far out of your league–so far it's not even funny–and you are lucky to have this second chance with her and to have a good relationship with her kids.

[grant] also, just so it's clear, i don't want to speak to you anymore after this. don't call me, i won't call you either, except in one circumstance. i'll consider it on the day my mother kicks the bucket. we can toast to the end of that chapter of our lives and hope that the haunting ends. because surely you have to feel a little haunted, too, right? i have a sinking suspicion that’s why you reconnected with me. you don’t care about me. you care about that fresh start, about making yourself feel better about wasting your life and fucking up everyone around you.

[the-labyrinth-of-me]

Wait did both Alice and Zane record Alan when he was at his lowest point? Didn't Alice make her exhibition to show the world what she sees? To show Alan the truth about himself? That it never was Scratch visiting and terrorizing her, but Alan himself? Did she depict his "self" and Zane depicted his "persona"? The two sides of him that he wishes he can eliminate bc they brought him into trouble (Scratch representing anger and the fallouts with paparazzi and stuff, Zane representing his self-destructive behavior with alcohol and drugs and the party nights)? The both sides that caused his marriage to start falling apart? Was that the reason Zane made that video of Alan when they were on that booze and drug-fueled bender while working on the Return manuscript? Is this party video the companion piece?? Alan's downward spiral, same as Alice's photos? Do they fucking work together aasdffjfjfkfk

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Progress

I am here! And I made this drabble! @spotaus get in here! We got a new update :3

This one i had to take the time for haha Also I am fucking dying it is so hot and warm and everything is moist and i hate it and please end me i am not made for this heat. and as i am melting so his my sanity and mental health

anyway hahahah it is warm :') I dislike the heat.

First drabble Prev drabble Next drabble

And no beta or edits. I write these in one go and hope for the best lmao.

*------------------*

Dream watches as the bear walks through the stream. looking at the water and following movements Dream can't see.

The bear eventually gets to some mysterious perfect spot and stays put. it opens its mouth and waits.

For a moment. nothing happens.

Then the fish start to jump and rush and one ends right in the bear's mouth. The bear bites down and starts eating.

It is fascinating.

Nature in motion.

Dream continues to lay right there on top of the branches as he watches the bear continue hunting and eating. at ease with what it does and who it is.

His phone ringing ruins the silence and Dream curses as he grabs his phone quickly checking who is calling now. He sighs at the sight of the caller ID and answers it "Hey Core."

The child, is core still a child?, sounds frantic "Dream? Where have you been!?"

Drema hums as he leans against the tree, watching the wildlife again. Good to see the bear has dismissed the noise he made and it went about its day again "out and about. learning stuff."

core sighs "Dream... the people here need you and-"

Dream hums "No they don't. They can do their chores and tasks themselves. I told you and all of them this before." he is not going to fall into the same trap as always. cutting himself apart to please others. He needs to figure himself out first.

Core sighs loudly again "Dream... If you like it our not. You are still the guardian of positivity to them! They are nervous and you can relax them."

Dream sighs annoyed himself "No Core. I can't. Or at least, i don't want that role anymore. Correction. I never should ahve had that role. I already told you that what i did before was a mistake." he had explained this so many times already. Explained that he shouldn't have tried to stop what Nightamre had been doing.

Yet no one understood!

They kept demanding him to keep doing what he had been doing before.

It is exhausting.

Dream sighs loudly and cuts off whatever Core is saying "I am not coming back to the omega timeline. Let it rest Core and move on. That is what i am doing." and he hangs up the phone. He leans against the tree and calls the number he knows by soul.

one ring later and "Dream! How is your break going? Seen any cool things?" Blue sounds excited.

Dream smiles as he leans against the tree already feeling relaxed. Just hearing his friend and hearing him respect what dream wanted makes everything right. The need to complain disappears and he focuses on the good "Yeah it is pretty cool. I am in a large forest. Saw a bear catch a fish with its mouth." the bear moves towards the side to eat some of the fish it caught.

Blue groans "lucky!! I am stuck in another reset. Kid got stuck somewhere in hotland and my bro and I are trying to figure out a way to hel them progress quicker."

Dream chuckles "You and your brother gave up on acting as if you don't notice the save, loads and resets?"

Blue hums "Well... yeah! I know it is a large risk and a big show of trust... but my brother explained to me that knowing I was there for him? With him in the resets and that i truly understood how it felt? He said it gave him peace and hope. that he felt less alone. And that got me thinking... Maybe... maybe Chara would feel better if they knew they weren't alone? That they didn't need to figure it all out alone? Papy had been unsure but he ended up deciding to trust my opinion and decision..."

Dream hums and nods "how did that go?"

Blue is silent for a moment before answering "Well... we dropped hints first and tried to ease them into the idea... then they ended up having a panic attack and apologising over and over again. We just sat down with them and we spoke it all out. they ended up sleeping over at our place for a while and would ask us everything about how we experienced it. So... I think it helped... thanks by the way."

Dream blinks and laughs "Why thank me?"

Dream can hear the smile in Blue's voice "Because you gave me the idea of it all! You were the one to trust me and share your worries with me. and once you shared those pains you felt better. You explained how the powers and responsiblity got too much and painful... That is when i realised. If you, an actual adult and god already felt like that... how would a child feel with so much power and responsibility but no guidance?" Blue is silent for a moment before he speaks "I know we aren't... we arent suposed to mess with the past or what happened or the anomaly but... How can there be any change if we don't try? Be it for the better or worse? At least we won't be stuck in the same loop anymore."

a moment of silence and Drema speaks quietly "What if they end up deciding to use this for bad stuff? To betray that trust and beleive?" what if blue gets hurt?

Blue hums "That is their choice. My choice was to be willing to trust and help. To beleive in the better and do waht i needed to do to take a step in the right direction."

Dream stares down before chuckling "You are truly one of the few between all of us who is sane and has healthy mental health."

Blue laughs "I have struggles too Dream. everyone has! we all do waht we can to cope. talking about struggles... did something happen?"

Blue is too damn smart and knows him too damn well.

Dream sighs "Smething did but... I honestly don't want to talk about it." he chuckles and rubs his new outfit. a more neutral grey with just a few yellow accents "You already need to listen so much to my problems. I want to be there for you too!"

Blue hums unhappily "dream."

Dream sighs and folds immediantly "just... Core calling again."

an even unhappier hum "We need to get you a new cross-multiverse phone. with a new number that Core doesn't know."

Drema can't help but laugh "maybe we can go shopping later? When your loop calms down a bit?"

Blue cheers "Yes! That sounds great! Oh! Did you want to come over for dinner? Chara is going to be friends with alphys and stuff which leaves me free early!"

Dream smiles "gladly. be there in a bit!" blue replies with his own goodbye and Dream hangs up. feeling much lighter and better than before. he opens a portal and makes the multiverse jump.

--

dinner is amazing and Dream takes some time to catch up wiht both Stretch and Blue. enjoying hearing more about the updates about their universe and how tlaking with Chara has helped them all a lot!

Dream is just happy with Blue is getting closer to the happy ending he deserves. To finally be free and explore the surface world he longs for so badly. Dream is also happy that Stretch seems to be doing better mentally. Dream may not be close with Stretch like with Blue but he still likes the other skeleton! Stretch is nice and can be a true sweetheart. Stretch just has to battle depression and hopelessness at the same time.

Blue once asked Dream if he could heal that for Stretch. a desperate plea from a worried brother. Drema had tried but he couldn't. He had once again remembered that it have been the purple apples that could heal mental illnesses. and he did not have a connection to those. Dream never told Blue that and just told him that Dream could only heal the physical body. That mental health was something that needed other and special care and support of loved ones.

Etiher way. it is great to see both feeling better and happier!

They relax and enjoy their time when Dream's phone rings again.

Stretch shoots it a curious look "I thought you muted that?"

Dream groans and nods "i did." he always does. one check later and a frown "Core again."

Blue sighs and steals his phone. he answers it and speaks right away "One. It is rude to call people at dinner time. two. Learn to take no. three. Stop, you are starting to appear obsessed. solve your own problems. It isn't Dreams issue." and hangs up again before handing it back.

Dream stares dumbfounded but Stretch just chuckles "Careful Blue. YOur protective side is showing."

Blue huffs but doesn't appear embarresed at all "Well! They should learn to take no and solve their own problems instead of trying to make it Dream's issue!"

Dream rubs his cheek "I am not much better... I keep asking you for your help..."

Blue looks at him and shakes his skull "Dream that is different. You ask for help. You accept if I am busy. Core demands help and doesn't accept a no." Blue smiles "See the difference?"

Dream feels himself relax again as he happily takes another bite. He enver needed food but it is nice.

a whistle "impressive."

Drema turns quickly and stares "Reaper."

Reaper grins and waves "Hey Dream. Blue and..." he needs a moment "Stretch right?"

Stretch looks a tBlue.

Blue shrugs at his brother "aparently I, or we for that matter, don't know how to not mess with things and cause alternative worlds. it is a long story. also. Don't touch reaper. everything reaper touches dies."

Reaper nods "it is why i float. Anyway. I had a moment and figured i should check in on the whole god thing and had to tell you guys soemthing but well... dinner." he waves at the table and grins "I didn't mean to be rude but..."

Stretch shrugs as he continues eating "I don't mind. talk god stuff. I am gonna keep eating."

Blue smiles at Reaper "I agree! You can just tell us now.. want a plate?" he waves at the dinner served.

Reaper chuckles and waves it off "I don't need food."

Blue huffs "neither does Dream but it is still a nice experience!"

Dream nods as he eats another bite "very nice. also. Blue and Stretch with all the timeloops are good cooks." Blue is already getting a plate and fork ready for the other skeleton.

Reaper blinks but takes the plate thankfully and carefully. he joins in and hums happily "It is great." and continues eating.

It is nice. a little strange but nice. Dream hasn't felt this relaxed and happy in a long time.

Reaper eats antoher bite before starting to speak "Anyway. I came with a mission." he eats antoher bite.

Dream nods and knows where this is going "Is this about... my job?"

Reaper nods as he eats antoher bite "Pretty much. Got any idea on what you want to focus on as domain yet?"

Dream sighs and shakes his skull "I... I hadn't... I had... wanted to wait with picking... until i foudn Nightmare and could talk things out first." he had wanted to pick soemthing together with his twin. make sure they still matched...

Reaper blinks but grins "you dont need to worry! you two are twins after all. if one of you picks a domain the other will automatically lean towards something that matches." he shrugs "god and twin magic stuff."

Dream blinks and feels a bit better. Their magic will always match?! That is great! That is fantastic and-

No.

Dream shakes his skull "Then I really don't want to decide without him!"

Reaper looks confused "But you will match anyway?"

Dream feels himself shake "Like with positivity and negativity?! No! I am not going to pick anything that can cause that kind of mess and split again!" He isn't going to do that to nightmare again!

Wait...

What if he can pick something that is the negative of the match? That would mean Ngihtmare immediantly gets the positive side right? But it hardly ever has only one opposite! Happiness can be the opposite of both sadness and angry to just give an example!

Or people often say love and hate are opposites but then people say it is love and indifference!

There are too many options and he isn't going to do it!

Reaper frowns "Dream. You can't keep going around without somekind of purpose. You are already heavily leaning on Blue as it is."

Dream looks away embarresed while Blue just frowns "Wait how do you know that?"

Reaper raises a brow "Because you are starting to get a boon."

Blue blinks while Stretch frowns "A boon?"

Reaper nods "Yeah. Gods can give boons to mortals who helped them. The more help and support given generally the stronger the boon. Normally these are given on purpose but well... with Dream's magic slightly all over the place." he just waves in their direction.

Blue frowns "what happens if i get one of these?"

Reaper hums "it depends on the god, the boon and the person. YOu could just be kinda like a workshipper if you get a tiny one. High priest kinda deal is also possible. But... with how involved you are with helping Dream? Probably an acolyte. Very strong powers... and pretty much automatically an outcode if not you just surpass that straight to something between mortal and demigod. Acolytes are powerful blue."

Dream shoots blue an anxious look before staring at Reaper "How do i stop that?!"

Reaper shrugs "Now you know about it? And you know you could do it? It is less liekly you will accidentally do it. especially if you don't want to. Boons are suposed to be a thank you kinda deal after all."

Stretch shares a nervous look with Blue but blue pats his hand "I am okay bro." Blue looks at Dream anxious "Dream... You know I love helping you. Really! But... i don't want to be an acolyte or any boon okay? I am just happy to be able to be friends."

Dream grbas his shoulders and stares at him "Blue. I promise and swear! I will never actively give you one unless you ask me okay? And I will try my hardest and best to never accidentally give you one okay?"

He wills himself, his soul, and magic to get the message. Blue doesn't want a boon. Blue doens't want a title. Dream doesn't want to give Blue either of these. Dream does not want to force either a boon or title on blue.

Reaper puts his plate away and floats at a distance "Sorry for the whole... bad news situation. I just figured... fi you are going to keep dodging picking a domain you need to understand this possibility..." he waits a moment before his phone gives a ding. he frowns at it "Work demands me again. Give it some thought. think about your domain and keep an eye on yourself." and Reaper disappears as if he was never there.

Blue frowns at where Reaper left and gives him a reassuraning smile "Hey. If you don't want to give me one you won't give me one. I trust you to not do it on purpose. And we will just make sure I stay in my own universe more! Not tempt fate!"

Dream frowns as he rubs his arm "Maybe i just need to pick a domain... but i don't want to accidentally force nightmare into a role he doesn't want..." it wouldn't be fair.

Blue frowns but Stretch speaks up "makes sense. fuck knows i would never have willingly picked Blue to also rememebr the resets."

Blue shoots him a look but Dream looks a thim confused "But i thoguth it was helping you?"

Stretch nods "It is. it is nice to have his support and everything" he smiles a tblue sadly befor elooking down "But it is a lot. the resets are a lot. i didn't... i didn't want to force him to deal with that." he shoots blue a look "I didn't want to force you to experience the same thing that i saw as hell. I didn't want to do that to you."

Blue frowns and goes to his brother to give him a hug. Dream relaxes and smiles a bit. because Stretch understands. Stretch understands why Dream can't make this choice just yet. Blue understands as well and... and trusts him.

Dream nods to himself and focuses. He doesn't want to give blue a title or boon. He wants blue to just remain his best friend. he wants blue to get the choice. He wants blue to get his chance to pick his future. He wants Nightmare to get his chance to pick his future.

To make their own paths.

To progress and grow in the way they want.

Dream smiles at the two brothers "Thank you two. for being my friends. real friends." he doesn't have many. which makes the two all the more special. and if they want to remain exactly as they are then Dream wants them to stay the way they are. because that truly gives them the chance to be and become who they want to be. instead of being what Dream wants.

Dream just hopes this will work. Because he also wants a chance to figure out who he truly is. And who he wants to be and what he wants. a chance to change and be. a chance to try and grow as a person.

Maybe that is all he ever really wanted.

*------------------*

Meanwhile Nightmare already figured his own domain out and is working on it. Also. No one tell Dream he already picked one. it just isn't as obvious. after all... Blue did mention that Dream helped him find a way to progress and move forwards :3

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[bbuzz28]

Fiddleford is a liar.

He contextualizes his lies as being for the greater good-but he still lies.

I think people sometimes overlook this trait. Outside of calling him a two timer on his wife (Emma-May, I would treat you so much better, run away with me), it’s all pretty much treated as a joke. "Silly little banjo playing Fiddleford who goes crazy by scrambling his brains like eggs in a skillet after a monster attack." It's a very convenient compartment to slide him into without digging much deeper.

However, I think it runs so much deeper than that. To lie so effortlessly and all the time, it takes practice. I think he has been lying probably for his entire life-so much so that he doesn't even consider it to be lying. The entire foundation on what he eventually builds his cult is "helping" the townsfolk by "protecting" them from the "terrible" truths that surround them in Gravity Falls.

Only a practiced liar would invent something like the memory gun. Because at the end of the day, when you are lying all the time, you are able to convince yourself of the lies for a little while-but not forever. (If you are not a narcissist, which of all the things Fiddleford is, he is not that.) You will wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and remember what you did or what you are trying to cover up. The aspect of control over what at the time seemed controllable with a few false words now causing your heart to race, your breath to hitch, your head to ache. So, then you lie more, to cover up all the loose threads that would lead to what you've done. Eventually, you have dug a hole so deep, there is no end in sight.

The answer is simple-tell the truth, right? It would be the "right" thing to do...and it would shatter everyone's interpretation of you. Possibly dissolving any of the relationships you've built. Relinquishing control of the scenario you created. Because when you tell the truth, it turns into the "well, why would you do this?" conversation. Who wants to hear "because I wanted you to like me", "I didn't want to disappoint you", "I didn't want to make you angry" or "I wanted to be useful" in response? To see that look of utter disenchantment in their eyes as all your lies are revealed.

But....what if you could e r a s e the truth from your own memory? And not only your memory, but the memory of whomever you lied to. They would never have to know what you did. You would never have to face it. And you would never again be overcome with the feelings of inadequacies that triggered you to lie in the first place.

You wouldn't have to disappoint anyone, or yourself, ever again.

The Memory Gun started as a clever band aid to the trauma of the Gremloblin incident, yes. But it turned into something much more dangerous in the hands of an established and practiced liar.

[pumpkinrootbeer]

he said it was a surprise to him:( killing mcfarland with a modified bulldozer

[reiverreturns]

*bursts into the ted lasso tag covered in blood*

THE WHOLE GOAL OF BEING A MANAGER OF PEOPLE IS TO COACH THEM TO THE POINT WHERE THEY NO LONGER NEED YOU! GOOD MANAGERS KNOW THEY ARE SUPPORTING CAST AND NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER! IT’S A LOT LIKE PARENTHOOD BUT IT’S NOT A SUBSTITUTE! TED MISSED HIS KID! HE WANTED TO BE THE STABLE AND LOVING PARENT HE NEVER HAD! HE CHOSE TO DO BEST BY HIS SON BUT ALSO BY HIMSELF! JUST BECAUSE YOU LOVE A THING DOESN’T MEAN IT’S MEANT TO BE PERMANENT! GOODBYES CAN BE SAD AND HARD BUT STILL THE RIGHT THING TO DO! BEING A GOOD COACH - AND PARENT - IS ABOUT KNOWING WHEN TO LEAN IN AND KNOWING WHEN TO LET GO!